advice needed

dday_throwaway3 · 2022-09-12T14:19:23+00:00

"Childcare" is typically covered by each parent.

You should be more concerned with her moving out with your daughter. If you allow her to keep your daughter, then you're allowing her to establish status quo with her doing the heavy lifting as the primary parent. You'll be stuck with every-other-weekend parenting time. You need to talk with an attorney *immediately* and get your daughter back in your custody.

ProfessionalBid6738 · 2022-09-12T16:47:26+00:00

Thank you all for the advice I will have to change my perspective rather quickly. Thank you again.

ProfessionalBid6738 · 2022-09-12T13:34:14+00:00

The goal is 50/50 yes. We are just starting the divorce process .

Double-Garage-1200 · 2022-09-13T01:08:05+00:00

Hey man. 44m in MN here as well :)

I've filled out that calculator quite a few times, we are still going through things.

You at 70K - $5833 a month Her at 40K - $3333 a month

I'm seeing your Net Child Support Obligation at $162 / month for 1 kid (based on 50/50 parenting time)

You mention health care and child support. I think you might pay a bit more for that. I'm still trying to figure this out on my end - if that gets split based on income. Definitely talk to a couple of lawyers in your area.

If you have child care and health insurance at $1000 a month, a reasonable estimate would probably be $500-600 for that. My wife and I will split the child care and I'll end up paying for half of the kids' insurance costs

So you might be about $162 + however the $1000 gets split...

I hope you are doing OK.

SzDiverge · 2022-09-12T16:31:06+00:00

There is a calculator that you can use for Mn. You put in all of the costs for health care and daycare.. etc. you also input how many overnights you have with your daughter. It’ll spot out your child support number.

NOTE: right now you’re establishing how many nights you get your daughter. If you let the wife take your child and you have no overnights, it’s going to be an uphill battle to get 50/50.

Also, 50/50 custody is based on OVERNIGHTs with your child, not how much time you spend together. If you pick him/her up every day and drop back off at bedtime, you have 0 overnights.

TNwhiskey901 · 2022-09-13T04:26:17+00:00

Get ready to be frustrated at the system. I’m California it’s even worse. I have 50/50 and only made 10k more than she did 4 years ago and I pay $400 a month. Think about that. This is money that doesn’t have to be proven what the woman is doing with it or if it’s even going to the kids. And I still share all the extra curriculars, i have the kids medical covered and after school care expenses and tuition. Only 4 more years till my oldest child support stops!!!

AirSailer · 2022-09-12T13:18:29+00:00

The cost of child care is split based on custody. You want 50/50 custody. You don't have to pay for child care when the child is with you, unless you want to (i.e. it's your responsibility to find child care during the time the child is with you... You wife cannot decide your child is going to a preschool and make you pay to send the child during your time.)

You need to get a temporary custody ruling so you get time with your daughter, your wife cannot simply move out and deny you access to your daughter.

$640 seems high, is that for 50/50 custody?

Classic_Dill · 2022-09-12T21:35:52+00:00

She moved out? good for you, that was silly of her, that is looked upon as abandonment to the court!

Use it against her.

Antique_Pace_4207 · 2022-09-12T23:25:43+00:00

Agreed with what others have mentioned, child daycare should be handled by each parent, ideally you would agree on staying in the same spot and splitting the costs. I have 50/50 and pay about $1500 per month, we share costs for school expenses, daycare, and extracurriculars

Agitated-Fee-6497 · 2022-09-13T12:27:14+00:00

Don't think she is you friend....she might be playing nice for now but you have to think that everything she is doing is a calculated move. In my divorce I thought things went smooth but after the fact I see how she manipulated the process.

Title	advice needed
Author	ProfessionalBid6738
Upvotes	14
Comments	21
Date	September 12, 2022 12:56 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/xcc52w/advice_needed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/advice-needed.1131300 https://theredarchive.com/post/1131300

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