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Agitated-Fee-6497 Archive

View 8 posts and 160 comments by Agitated-Fee-6497 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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9

0 dark 30 is for the best. I haven't spoken to my ex in over 2 years and have no plans to. Wasn't a nasty ending but definitely a lot of lying and deception. She has no credibility and I can't have any type of relationship with someone like that.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 12:34 AM
9

Monkey Branching at its finest
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 12:27 AM
1

Have you seeked therapy for yourself? That did help me.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 12:34 AM
5

She is already checked out....she would just be doing this for show.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 12:28 AM
1

If you were in a plane and they told you 3 out of 5 parashoots won't open.....would you still jump?
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/23 11:47 PM
5

It's hard to shut off the wondering thoughts.....it just takes time...for me it was close to 2 years before I felt somewhat normal again....stayed busy in between....worked out...surrounded myself with friends.....but nights alone were the hardest. I think it was separation anxiety that hit me the most in hind sight...but now I'm comfortable being alone.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 12:33 AM
0

💯
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 07:44 PM
20

I suppose for me when I got married it was about building a life with someone. Now that I'm divorced that is no longer a goal of mine. It's been challenging to find someone to compliment my life so I prefer to stay single and just be me without limitations. I'm financially secure and love to travel and just live life. I don't want to worry about how someone else feels about xyz....or did they get upset about something I said or did....I just enjoy the peace.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 02:58 PM
15

Pretty simple right!?
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/23 05:41 PM
1

Are you fling in the states? If so what state?
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 05:21 PM
3

When she filed I waved the serving process because it was pointless.....I knew what was happening.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 02:44 PM
7

I wouldn't think anything of getting ghosted....just the way things are. So many options out there for people to meet these days. Getting ghosted is just part of the dating game. Keep expectations in check....one date isn't anything....if months go by that's something different....but 9x out of 10 it's probably because they are exploring other options.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 05:26 PM
3

It took about a year to get out of my funk....and another year to start making great progress towards a new life...so about 2 years for me.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 03:11 AM
2

It's a process....I was once where you are as many of us have been....just keep getting out of bed each day and over time you will heal....for me it's been about 2 years now....im such a better place now....still not 100% but getting there
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 03:28 AM
8

Eddie Murphy RAW had relationships nailed. Little did I know the thing that was making me laugh as a teenager would put me thru he'll as an adult.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 09:49 PM
2

I drank way more than I should have for the first year by going out to be around people.....I also hired a personal trainer for that year. So between those and going to work I was just non stop keeping my mind occupied for a year +. But one day I just woke up and said I don't want to do this.....I cut back to a couple times and week and then went 2 months with nothing. Now I have it to where I go out on occasion with friends (aka my normal ways)...looking back I don't know how I did it but I jus…
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/23 11:49 PM
2

Took me a good solid year....for a long time I found any reason to be out of the house and amongst people....living alone took some time to get use to Now I'm comfortable living a lone.....find peace in it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 06:49 PM
5

Not being responsible for someone's happiness has a certain freedom about it. But shouldn't be that way anyhow but it is what it is.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/23 01:26 AM
3

I wouldn't get married with or without a prenuptial. Don't see the benefit in marriage. If you want to be with someone just be.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 08:22 PM
11

One phrase.....monkey branch
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 11:20 PM
13

Because we don't look at them as hints until we reflect back after getting hit by the I want a divorce talk bus...I ..as you do...felt if there were issues effecting the health of the marriage there would be a sit down we need to work on things chats. To fix things or at least try....what a concept
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 10:14 PM
2

13 years together....its been 1.5 years and the healing is still a work in progress...come a long away but I feel I'm about half way there....ill never be the same....I view the world/relationships in a different way now.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 06:13 PM
2

💯
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 12:15 AM
1

💯
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 11:16 PM
2

I guess his usefulness to her has been complete 🤷
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 08:57 PM
2

Had a few months of going out to be around people After about 6 months I hired a personal trainer for a year to have someone to motivate me and hold me accountable to get to the gym...now I'm good of that on my own Did some solo domestic traveling Now life is somewhat... a new normal and routine Met some great people and made new friends over the last 18 or so months A lot of self reflecting and reading
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 12:46 AM
3

I'm going on 18 months and I'm just now even having a thought of what it would be like having someone in my life. I'd rather to continue to work on me....I think every day I get stronger and better....when the time comes I will know.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 08:27 PM
1

*I declined
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 05:58 PM
3

I decided a dinner offer to talk about things in the end...because I knew it was just going to put more blame on me to make her feel justified for leaving. No kids.....and that invitation was the final time we had any communication. Months later it still weighs on me....but at somepoint I just have to say....to anyone ....if you don't want me in ur life than so be it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 05:57 PM
6

The gray divorce is a real thing....its so sad...everything created and worked for ...for so many years. And when it's time to start to enjoy the fruits of all that...its over
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 07:29 PM
1

I deleted all my pics....I save a few hardcopy from over the years abd just threw them in the safe....time will tell what I'll do.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 02:30 PM
2

That happened to me as well...about a year later I had put the weight back on and didn't look like I was on deaths door step
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 02:12 AM
2

Yeah be solo for awhile and just enjoy doing what you want....no drama or compromise.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 05:41 PM
3

💯
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/23 07:29 PM
2

By the time marriage counseling is in the conversation it's too late.....I do have one positive story thou....a friend of mind and his wife decided to go a couple time a year from the get go and they have both said it's be a positive experience on their marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 10:51 PM
8

Mine will not.....she needs to chase the next shinny new thing and I'm not shinny anymore lol
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 12:11 AM
3

Seems the younger women are more open about it...but I've so found it only takes a date or two for the old women but tends not to last more than a month or so....thats just my experience I'm sure it's different for all.....I have better luck just going to the hotel bar around the corner and meeting people. I live in a business district with lots of people traveling and in and out of the area.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/23 09:23 PM
1

The ONS and FWB seems to be with more for the younger side in my area and not so much in my age range...im the same age as you. They are out there just not as many as you'd think. If you want to try the dating apps you may want to do the basket approach and see which one is best for where you live.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/23 08:18 PM
1

Not at all. I do the same thing basically now having experienced all that in real time. You/we are just saving ourselves pain and heartache in the end.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 02:18 PM
2

Control of your own happiness..thats freeing in so many ways.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 12:24 AM
2

Yeah I definitely agree with that. I think it was more of I've known this person for X number of years they would never do that.....Wrong....My belief system has definitely been updated to know anyone is capable of anything they choose and they will look out for #1
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 12:20 AM
21

Watch their actions and not so much pay attention to their words. I listened to the words and the actions didn't match but I trusted and loved her so gave her the benefit of the doubt....turns out I should not of trusted her. Hide sight is 20/20 ...lesson learned.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 11:34 PM
2

Sounds perfect lol....ive meet one person I may of dated but she lives a 5 hour flight away in another country....so we just see each other a couple times a year and hang out for a few days... No questions to strings lol
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 05:21 PM
2

Sounds like she will eventually fade away if you aren't doing cartwheels for her lol...so that should play out how you want it in the end.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 04:40 PM
1

Sex with my ex was incredible for years but once that burning desire faded....it was down hill. It was like they were doing me a favor towards the end. But yeah if she is having feeling you need to rollout lol...thats too quick for her to do that.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 02:22 PM
2

Thank you....yeah your right a year ago I was a mess, couldn't sleep, or get on a routine of any kind. Fast forward a year til now....yeah it still bothers me but I feel better, stronger mentally and physically. Still have some tweaks to make in my life but I would say I'm content. I can do what I want when I want and where I want....im on control of my life.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 11:28 PM
4

I'm 2 years removed from my marriage....have had a few FWB over that time but I have no desire to seriously date anyone right now. Just doing my own thing when and how I want. There is something peaceful about that.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 09:23 PM
3

It's going to suck for awhile but just keep getting out of bed everyday. Don't set a time table expectation. Just keep yourself occupied and time will heal your wounds.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 08:35 PM
2

I wanted to but the misleading, false hopes I was given and then to fond out they were cheating along makes me want nothing to do with them because their credibility is gone....no kids so I can just stear clear. Maybe one day far from now things will be different but for now...no thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/23 11:16 PM
3

Everyone here was very helpful to me over the last year and now I stay connected to return the knowledge of learned over the past 18 months. You'll get thru it just keep getting out of bed each day. One of the hardest things you will go thru in life but you will be a stronger person when you come out the other side.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 02:56 AM
2

Unfortunately for me I turned to alcohol but I also worked out a lot....now I'm done with the alcohol and I'm in a better place.... now I have to work on being healthier. Got blood work done recently and a couple things are out of whack but nothing that can be fixed thru better living. It's been a long journey this pass year but I think 2023 will be my year to feel normal and move forward in a positive light.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 04:09 PM
2

Happened to me for a few months....BJs were never an issue but sex was a challenge for a bit and I think it was because of being with someone new after so many years after familiarity....but also I have short term partners and haven't gotten to the point that it's a steady thing.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 10:30 PM
2

Same happened to me. Probably too much alcohol was the main reason. But I've cut back now that I'm further down the divorce recovery trail and things are starting to feel normal down there. But some of its emotional too..I was really into my ex and most of the sex I have these days are one night stands or short term flings. But you can get the little blue pill online without even talking to a doctor. Takes all of 15 mins.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/23 03:17 AM
1

Life keeps moving is right! I've spent a lot of time the first few months not getting out of bed. But then I moved and just started going out which led to drinking to often but I met so many people while doing that and the socializing really helped pull me thru....I met a few girls in the last year as well that I still keep in contact with. 2023 is gonna be my year that I get back to a more normalized life and not depend on being around people all the time to distract my thoughts and drink so I …
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/22 02:35 AM
2

I went thru that for a few months but around last Xmas it just got unbearable to were I had numbness in my hands and I hand a couple panick attacks. I went on Xanax and tranzadone but after 2 months I was so much better and got off them.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 06:40 AM
5

I was there about a year ago. I had some pretty dark nights. Temporarily I had to go on some sleep meds for a couple months because I wasn't sleeping. I didn't want to do it but I'm glad I did because that was the bridge that helped my body heal was getting the sleep that I needed to function. I went 3 days and nights without sleeping and I wasn't even tired and I knew I had to do it. Now almost a year later I'm about 80% better....may never be 100% ...but life did go on.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 05:27 AM
2

I'm still having shit pop up 12 months later to deal with that I thought was long resolved. It's like as soon as the wound closes here comes something else to open it back up.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 04:44 AM
3

100% ....at the end of my marriage my ex said I didn't comment on her post enough. I've since deleted all my social media accts and will never go back.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 03:48 AM
6

I had the fortune of not having kids with her so when it was over I just went NC...she wanted to be friends and do dinners etc etc and I just never responded to those request. Finally she stopped reaching out..its been a year and I'm still having things that are popping up in my life causing me stress because of the divorce. So when that happens I think to myself Hell no I don't want to be friends.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 03:43 AM
2

So my exe told me similar things. She needed space and wasn't Content with our life anymore.....but What i found out was she need space to be under some other dude.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/22 06:43 PM
10

I thought I had the perfect wife material...got married and about 5 years into the marriage it just seemed like anytime she had sex with me it was like she was doing me a favor. I guess I don't see how someone can maintain desire for someone over the long haul. For men is easier but women get bored or look for something more exciting. I've been single for two years and I've dated a few women but by no means was there any chance they are going to break down my walls. The risk is too big and ill d…
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/22 11:23 PM
1

Same type of shit happened to me but it was more in line with the term Spliting.....of course she did that after cheating on me after 13 years together which I found out months later.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/22 02:55 AM
3

I think in today's world it's rare. With all the hypergamy that exist today and all the tools available to explore other options rather than your spouse. Men are going to be more content then women to stay in a marriage and women won't leave unless they feel they have a better option. Moat of my friends are coming up on the 15 yr mark for their relationships and they are content but totally happy...no
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/22 02:29 AM
2

Mine sold her dress right after the wedding lol. We never did much for anniversary because she would always say we don't need a special day to show each other love because we show love throughout the year......well I see how that all turned out lol
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/22 03:06 PM
1

My birthday day is the week of Xmas so that was a bit of a rough week for me and we always thru a new year's eve party. But this year I think that week will go by much easier.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/22 02:42 PM
1

You'll have a lot with that and xmas...but at least you get it out of the way all at once.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/22 02:36 PM
6

Thanks I hope I get there one day....ive been divorced 11 months so this and Thanksgiving with be the last 2 dates I need to get there for the first time.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/22 03:02 AM
3

Years 10-12 seems to be about the time shit falls apart. Or the wives get bored and step outside the marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/22 01:43 AM
3

Luckily I can walk to many restaurants, coffee shops etc from apartment....big change going from having someone around for 13 years to the sounds of silence.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/22 01:13 AM
3

I hope it does....got married on Veterans Day so I'm always gonna be off of work so at least I can do whatever I wish to keep my mind busy that day.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/22 12:28 AM
2

My exe has adhd but she did not want to get medication for it. We built in several tool over our marriage but it took a lot of effort on my part....if I wanted her to cook dinner I had to send a calendar invite etc etc. I took care of her for years and she appreciated it so much...but then it was like a switch and she started acting like inwas treating her like kid....she ended up leaving for someone else very soon after that. I have guilt that I could of done even more...but I know I did more t…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 01:14 AM
2

Well said ..no more for better or worst
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/22 02:24 PM
25

As soon as a woman thinks she can upgrade or sees someone more fun in her eyes she is out. There is no life long commitment these days.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/22 04:49 PM
1

Always seems to be around year 12 shit ends
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/22 04:26 PM
2

Yeah unfollow....no reason to care about what she is doing
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/22 09:56 PM
2

I lived in the land of what ifs as well for a while but she monkey branched on me and when they do that anything they say loses all credibility.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/22 03:31 PM
2

I guess that means plan B didn't work out lol
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/22 10:14 PM
3

If she did try to come back how would she even have any creditability with you? Your bargaining now....look at it this way....the person that you loved....does not exist any longer....she is not the same person you fell in love with.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/22 03:12 PM
1

Why are you getting divorced?
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/22 01:45 AM
1

Don't think she is you friend....she might be playing nice for now but you have to think that everything she is doing is a calculated move. In my divorce I thought things went smooth but after the fact I see how she manipulated the process.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/22 12:27 PM
3

Your story isn't that uncommon...ive known a few divorce guys that have had their exes reach out years later to try to reconnect.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/22 03:46 PM
13

I wouldn't text her again. That text from her was just phishing to see how you are feeling because now she is lonely and needs someone to talk to. Maybe she thought the grass was greener and now realized it wasn't. She didn't need to text you about a military discount..... so don't take the bait. But my guess is you may here from her again so prepare yourself for that senerio.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/22 10:02 AM
1

I had to do a quit claim deed last year but the house was paid off but the lawyer said that if we had a mortgage that it would of been more complicated. So im not even sure if you can do what she is asking. This is in Delaware for me.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/22 03:08 PM
12

I agree....I still care for my ex over a year after she cheated....haven't had commication with her in months but still in my thoughts and I wish it would go away.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/22 07:52 PM
3

By the time I knew my marriage was in trouble there wasn't anything I could .....I just didn't know that at the time. She unloaded reasons for unhappiness on me one day out of the blue when I tried to have sex with her. 8.5 weeks later she asked for a divorce. I tried to fix everything she was unhappy about in those 8.5 weeks but it didn't matter.....Months later I found out why it didn't matter....she met another guy and that was her catalyst to tell me about the issues.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/22 02:57 PM
2

Plus her untreated adhd didn't help matters
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/22 10:29 PM
1

Yup....she hasn't been alone in 29 years...is always a jumper....They Can't be content if it doesn't feel like a honeymoon 24x7
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/22 10:09 PM
2

Yup....I told my ex that all you did was reinforce that everything i did was making you happy by saying life was awesome and the marriage was great. I don't know anything about the new guy but I bet she just saw something new and shinny so said let me go see if this makes me happy instead of looking from within herself to find happiness. This is her second divorce sooooo
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/22 10:02 PM
2

I agree....I got gaslit and blamed for emotionally abandoning my ex after being told for 13 years by her that she was the happiest woman on earth...but I came to learn she met another guy. So dating going forward I have a nice little emotional wall up that will take someone special to break through and I know that person may never come along.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/22 09:47 PM
1

I just threw mine in a box with a few other things....I don't want to make and rash choice that I'll regret down the line. I got out pretty good so now I just have to deal with emotions and I don't want to make any choices based on emotion right now.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/22 02:59 PM
0

You can't name they child because they are under 18
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/22 11:25 PM
2

That's awful...mine wasn't like that...I made out ok because my exe made a lot of money and so did I. We were able to just keep our own shit and walk away...But I found out about the affair much later after the settlement agreement was all done.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/22 03:21 PM
2

Rough situation bud
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/22 02:00 AM
2

Yeah I know the feelings will follow me everywhere...they do now. It's just difficult no matter....especially since I got left with the ...if you had only done xyz from the exe we'd still be together.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/22 08:32 PM
3

That's my hang up...family and friends are here... is the risk reward there being solo in a new city and making new friends and memories worth leaving what I've known my whole life...of course I could always return to visit if I left.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/22 08:09 PM
1

She was the one that ended up stepping out of the marriage for a shinny new life in the end.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/22 11:36 AM
3

I did none of that...the main thing that changed in our marriage was covid ....she changed...she was stuck in the house and had too much time to think
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/22 11:27 AM
2

A lot of similar things for me marriage....didn't tell me any issues clearly till she met someone else which makes it so much worst
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/22 11:33 PM
7

Yes being left in the land if you hand only done xyz we'd be ok is the worst feeling in the world.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/22 11:18 PM
1

My ex said the same thing...I found out a few months later she met someone else. There must be a play book for them.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/22 09:01 AM
1

Relationships take a lot of work by both partners and when things get routine that's when the crossroads happen for some people....is the grass greener or am I content. Seems as if there is no one person for anyone. Just a person that is right for you at that point in your life.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/22 05:35 PM
1

There are definitely no unicorns....ill just have to stick to my one night stands from the bar...at least then we both get something out of it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/22 03:15 AM
1

And the lesson I learned is very eye opening and has changed me forever.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/22 02:47 AM
1

Thanks man....I need to hear that. I deserve better.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/22 02:46 AM
3

Good point....thank you
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/22 12:56 AM
1

Thanks bud...no kids for us we haven't communicated in months. Still hasn't gotten much easier even with NC.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/22 11:25 PM
3

Yeah i had some disrespectful things said to me at the end as well....and it's hard not to think about them.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/22 11:04 PM
2

Good point
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/22 11:03 PM
1

Yup....I never thought this much pain was possible and I'm a year into it.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/22 12:28 PM
13

Thanks buddy....it's always good to know we aren't alone. It's been a year since her affair and blindsided me with a divorce...and while I'm better now than I was a year ago my health and mental state is crushed due to the way I had to cope with the betrayal and gaslight this pass year. Im slowly changing me ways...I hired a person trainer and I'm trying to cut back on the booze. I went no contact 6 months ago and I have no desire to communicate with her again after she just thru our 13 year mar…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/22 10:08 AM
2

I'm a year into being divorced.....I met my exe after she left her 1st husband within a month of her divorce being final. She had a 3 yr old with him. We moved in together the next year. The first year the exe and I never even met. Then one day when his son had a medical emergency we met at the hospital...it was an awkward meeting but it was the catalyst for us to establish a common objective...we both wanted what was best for the kid. I couldnt control what happened between him and his exe (who…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/22 09:46 AM
2

No...its all our fault
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/22 01:22 AM
1

It sucks dude...no other way ....do you have meds to help you sleep?
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 11:07 PM
1

I do....I feel sorry for her
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 10:43 PM
2

She told me....we have a great marriage, we are best friends, we have a great life, plenty of friends and money, we travel all the time....but thats not enough anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 08:12 PM
2

One of the last things she said to me was the brain says stay and the heart says go
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 08:09 PM
2

And I don't know much about him or them....but the little I do know is I think it's was for a shinny new life style.....I suppose out beach house and no debt wasn't good enough.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 05:54 PM
3

And when those tingles fade as they always do.......
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 05:52 PM
7

I've noticed that as well. I guess that's how long it takes to wonder if the grass is greener. And people can't handle what has become a routine stable relationship because it's not exciting enough. My 2 cents from my experience
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 05:51 PM
3

Yup my exe did the have a lot of friends...all her friends she met thru me so now she has no friends unless she met some recently...her last email 4 months ago she said she felt isolated and alone. She didn't think about the long game of her actions especially since she always told everyone how great our marriage was and how happy she was and then she just rolled out and didn't even talk to anyone about why...never has ...and then when people found out about the guy the puzzle came together and …
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 05:47 PM
5

I had to cut all communication when I found out about the affair....she has always made every email emotional about how much pain she is in...which I don't respond to but I just think to myself how are you in pain...you been with another man for a year and you left me.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 05:40 PM
7

Very good points....I started reading no more Mr nice guy and that helps
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 05:33 PM
7

I've learned that women don't do anything without a reason....that was a hard lesson to learn during my divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 05:19 PM
5

Bar sign...it wasn't something she needed to pass along
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 05:03 PM
3

It's been a year since she told me she wanted out....I didn't think I'd still be feeling so lost and disappointed a year later but here I am.... Some of the things that helped me make it this far is never sitting at home, last month I hired a personal trainer and that has helped with the stress, I met a lot of new friends over this year that I never would of met other wise and I've learned a lot by talking to people. It's not all our fault like they tell us it is...there are 2 people in a relati…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/22 02:17 PM
1

Yes life is....
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/22 11:53 AM
1

I go to my local bar....ive had 5 wns...in 6 months....it helps
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/22 10:14 PM
1

Been a year for me and I'm no better than day 1
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/22 11:02 PM
1

My exe did went on a workcation and met some guy...8 weeks later she asked for a divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/22 06:06 PM
2

Seems like the wife's never leave unless they have another person already in the bag
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/22 06:01 PM
2

I was numb the first week....like it didn't seem real...that was may 2021...I had a couple months before that knowing she could ask for a divorce at moment and when she did I wasn't shocked...i didnt really start to hurt until months later when holidays and birthdays were being missed. And then it hit me that life has drastically changed. We don't have kids together so I've made the choice to end any communication with her which started in December when our divorce is final. She had an affair an…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 02:17 AM
2

I got mine on Feb 2nd....its very sad but it also let's you put the event behind you and start to move forward. It's not going to happen over night but it is a milestone.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 09:55 PM
2

She rewrote history in the end and said we should of never of gotten married which I know is BS....In the end she said we had a great marriage, we are best friends, have a great life, money, friends and love each other but it's not enough anymore....She made me feel like an inch tall. She checked every box for a mid life crisis, abandonment issues and borderline personality disorder...but for 12+ years life was great and the wheels just fell off.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 01:31 PM
1

We didn't do any therapy...all I ever got at out of her was her love language was physical touch. But I did touch her. Sometimes I did go right to her to hug her and sometimes she came to me. A couple other things she said in the end was she wanted more romance and didn't feel like I was into her....excuses....But in the end I did say to her....why didn't you sit me down and talk to me ? Write me a letter? All she said was a tried to tell you over the years....I told her...all you did was make a…
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/22 01:17 PM
2

Seemed so easy forn12.5 years...like the maintenance fees were so low and she was so happy...but after a work trip to FL that all changed and 8 weeks later she said divorce
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/22 01:29 AM
1

I can't hide.... she has my work email and I can't change that
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 10:40 PM
1

Yeah I just hope by summer I'm out of this funk...been a long year
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 10:29 PM
3

She exciled all mutual acquaintances....because all her friends she met were my friends first...and they all don't like what she did...and my exe doesn't want to be judge so she unfriended everyone off social media...I already told people don't tell me shit about her if you ever hear anything because I don't give a shit
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 10:05 PM
2

Very true...and we talk about why can you express your needs now but never before ..she never had an answer...but that was before the other guy was revealed.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 08:14 PM
2

Thank you...yes she hasn't takin any role in our marriage ending....we may of been able to fix things with a simple talk or at least try....she let it get to the point that she let a 3rd party into the equation.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 08:13 PM
7

Yeah looking back it was obvious and I always suspected there was a guy but didn't want to make that allegation unless I knew. But the collateral damage for her is grave now that the cats out of the bag. Therapist told me she doesn't know what love is and will run to anything she thinks will make her happy....13 years gone just like that
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 06:33 PM
3

I did therapy and it helped some I just never imagined I would feel this way and see no way forward.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 06:24 PM
3

I spent months wondering why our marriage ended over things that were fixable but I finally came to accept it and started to turn the corner....and then I got hit with the affair news because she introduced the guy to a mutual friend and that didn't go well when they revealed when the started dating. So that hit me hard in December because all my suspicions that i had about things the last 2 months we were together march- may 2021....suddenly made since and all that time she told me we were work…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 06:22 PM
7

Thank you...no kids do I never need to see her again
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 06:00 PM
3

I had the light switch happen to me in March 2021....there really is nothing that can be done. I'm glad I saved some notes and cards from over the years to remind me she really did care ....cuz in the end she said the 13 years should never of happened but I know that's not true.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 09:34 PM
2

I'll never know the truth and at this point I don't want to....she has told me so may things about why she left...but when I found out about the guy I was like..ok now shit makes sense cuz her other reasons did not. I haven't had any communication with her since I found out and if I never do again that's fine with me. 13 yrs....and this is how it ends
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/22 10:36 PM
1

She asked me to go on the trip but I was like if your working I'll save my vacation time so we can spend that time together. She went there and started going to bars....she hadn't drank in 3 months before that I was like ok then....So of course I feel like shit cuz if I would of went maybe that wouldn't of happened and her and I could of connected better.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/22 10:28 PM
1

I feel that I'm becoming a better well rounded person because of all I have endured since march 2022. I was led to believe we had a great marriage and life because she always told me that... and then one day after she came home from a work trip to FL. And she said she hadn't been happy for years and unloaded a lot of head scratching reasons...like I didn't run to give her a hug when I saw her, I didn't hold her hand while we watched TV, we didn't snuggle in bed etc etc...8 weeks later she asked …
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/22 08:43 PM
5

It took me a long time to decide to get married 34 yrs old. I thought waiting and dating to make sure I knew who I was and the type of person I wanted to be with. I met her in 2008....it was the best feeling in the world. 3 year later married. 2022 divorced. But looking back it felt like i filled a need for her during these years and when that need was gone so was I. She tossed me out like our marriage and time together should of never of happened. (She actually told me that) guess the point is.…
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/22 06:25 PM
1

I agree....only a couple things I really could of done differently in our marriage so I really had no chance. If she wanted to be with me she would of walked away from this guy.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/22 05:06 PM
1

I'm going thru a divorce myself.....wife left for another guy but hid it till the agreement was done. Make sure all your communication is in writing and try to get her to admit to the affair.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/22 10:23 AM
2

Yes I didn't want him or expect him to do that but it is what it is...It won't make a difference because there was no chance of her coming back anyway. But the lies she did for months is what pissed him off and I tried to figure things out and couldn't and now I know it's because of another guy.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/22 10:12 AM
12

The lesson is sometimes things are exactly as they seem
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/22 07:39 PM
9

The divorce is done. She hid the other guy from everyone until it was final. So another reason to no longer have an communication with her.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/22 07:33 PM
4

Until I found out about the cheating there may of been a chance for that. She always led me to believe she needed to be alone. Well finding out she was never along and all the misleading and lies makes it hard to ever see her as a friend. We had a lot of great years and for the marriage to end this way is just heartbreaking. But its easier for her to run away then to work on the marriage but that is a risk she is willing to take.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/22 07:16 PM
6

For months she has always asked about doing dinner but I always decline....especially glad I did knowing what I know now. Her and I have financial security on our own so she'll never come back for financial reasons. He is 1000 miles away and pushing 60 and she is 44 but had has a lifestyle she wants....thing is we had the ability to do anything we wanted.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/22 06:51 PM
15

Yeah seems like the court of public opinion did not favor you and that sucks. She went on a trip to FL met a guy and 8 weeks later asked for a divorce....so now everyone knows the truth about why she didn't want to work on our marriage. She basically strung me along for 2 months until she knew the new guy was gonna stick....13 years gone in the blink of an eye.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/22 05:44 PM
1

Agree! I helped raise my exs son for 13 years...when he hit 16 and when she was successful in her career she tool a workcation to FL (like she does every year in the winter) ...she came back with a look.of guilt on her face. 8 weeks later she asked for a divorce....then I found out 8 months later she meet a guy with a lavish life style down there that is 15 years older than her.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/22 03:50 PM
2

As soon as they lose interest in you they look for other things to make them happy. It's not a matter of if but when.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/22 03:45 PM
1

I got told.same thing...though another man was unlikely but I found out 8 months later there was another man the entire time.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/22 07:16 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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