Working on being grateful for our time together regardless of how it ended.

One-Donkey-9418 · 2022-04-05T22:52:28+00:00

Don't lament your loss, she moved on quick enough with a new guy, no respect for you. Let her go and find someone else, don't get treated like a doormat.

Objective_Problem_90 · 2022-04-05T23:02:23+00:00

I am thankful that I had my son, and my dog during our time. None of which would have happened if I had not meet her. Sure there were some good times, but alot of that was also replaced with fighting often and horrible things she said to me at the end. While I wish it was different, this was how it was. So I recommend to move on as best as you can, don't dwell too much on the past, and make good choices. You deserve a good life and perhaps down the road you'll find someone who will appreciate you and treat you well.

doing_my_best_co · 2022-04-06T05:48:48+00:00

You will go through all different types of emotions as you heal. This grateful spot is kind of nice. I am at a spot where I see my last 20 year marriage as a phase in my life that is now over. I am still mourning the loss but every aspect of my life has improved since the dissolution of my marriage . Every day, I feel a bit better. You will get there.

stent00 · 2022-04-06T00:48:07+00:00

Just remember nothing is forever. It was just your turn with her. Now that's over. Focus on the rest of your life. So much to see and do in this world and most don't involve women

oli_21_ · 2022-04-06T05:58:59+00:00

I'm just going to enlighten you. She was planning things long before you became aware.

And once that comes to light........all her projection\gas lighting\blame is just bullshit.

Process that shit and move forward.

I'm not trying to be harsh......look at my history......I get where you're coming from. But looking out for a fellow brother going thru this........you have to keep moving forward. I'd honestly treat her like a shit you took. Wipe and flush my friend.

As men we're geared to think like you are. That's fine. But at some point you gotta just leave it in the rear view and work on becoming a better you.

All the best.

Ruggiard · 2022-04-06T07:56:10+00:00

I feel you. I wanted to do that after she sprung the divorce on me. I can't. I had to archive all the photo albums we made and take down all the pictures. I feel it's necessary to create a clean cut, make myself realize that it's over and will never return and grieve before I can start looking at the memories again. The memories will need a new context. Once that is accomplished and I feel safe and secure alone or in a new relationship, I may be able to look at pictures of these years again.

warrior_up · 2022-04-06T02:43:46+00:00

Obviously they weren’t good man, you got blindsided - you were distracted in happy marriage land while she was fantasizing about her next dick and planning her exit to leave you in the dust like yesterday’s garbage. She did this once, chances are there were several of them in the closing years

not to be mean, just sayin, remember this lesson . You got out quite well, Next time you get caught day dreaming about puppy dogs and rainbows with another one of these sociopaths - you might not be so lucky. This last one was able to move right on top of another man leaving you feeling nostalgic and happy for the time you spent with her - straight professional gangster type shit, like taking candy from a baby these women today.

Those 12 years could have been used better with someone else who deserved it

derelictherds · 2022-04-06T05:38:01+00:00

I felt like that for the first year or so after the divorce. It's a fading memory at this point and almost seems like it was only a dream. Time will heal you.

Jbr74 · 2022-04-06T15:42:04+00:00

Hard to be grateful for someone who sucked me dry financially and emotionally for 20 years and caused me to be depressed for at least 3/4th of that time.

I am grateful she decided to cheat on me and end our marriage because I was too manipulated and blind to see the truth.

Now I am coming up on the 3 year anniversary of my divorce. Now that, that I am grateful for.

lifebeginsat52 · 2022-04-06T17:38:21+00:00

Remember the feelings, not the circumstances is the advice I was given.

fhl415 · 2022-04-06T23:46:32+00:00

I'm sorry but I do not have your point of view. I see my former marriage as a glass of pure water. My ex-wife's betrayals and subsequent abandonment were an eye dropper of fecal waste. The whole thing is now tainted and undrinkable. The marriage did produce two children I love and am proud of who now have families of their own. And my children have not behaved as my ex in their marriages.

I have to say I am envious of your mentality in regard to your situation. I just can't get myself to come around knowing the wake of destruction she caused to her family, our family, and my family for which she has never apologized. I was her first husband. She's had four others. So, she continually hurt her family and my kids without display of remorse long after she left me. I don't feel I need to think fondly of any of the good times I had with her. Even when I think of my children's births she is not a part of that memory.

Calm_Attention1070 · 2022-04-07T12:56:57+00:00

yea my ex always pushed me to be a better person, though i'm not sure if she did it bc she cared about me or for her own interests. without that push i wouldn't be in the career i love doing. i'll always be thankful for that. married 12 years, got 3 beautiful and healthy kids out of the deal, got to experience family life / being a home owner, had a lot of good times together mixed in with the bad. i'm appreciative of that. and all the lessons i've learned from this relationship will only make my next one even better. i really feel like we could have had a good relationship with each other post divorce if she didn't cheat on me though

'they say people in your life are seasons, and anything that happen is for a reason'

Title	Working on being grateful for our time together regardless of how it ended.
Author	Agitated-Fee-6497
Upvotes	21
Comments	23
Date	April 5, 2022 10:37 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/tx75n3/working_on_being_grateful_for_our_time_together/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/working-on-being-grateful-for-our-time-together.1111142 https://theredarchive.com/post/1111142

Comments