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SeveredTreeStump Archive

View 6 posts and 18 comments by SeveredTreeStump on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

OP, if you're comfortable talking about it, I'm curious about your background and how you came to get married at 22/23 as a virgin. I can share some general information, but I don't want to share too much. Obviously. Did you grow up in a religious or a traditional community where couples did not have sex before marriage? Yes. In that case, the land where you built your house came with a solid picket fence, a gate, and a town hall that that gave you boundaries and a clear path. Correct! Almost ev…
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/22 02:19 PM
1

I've heard lots of men say that they wanted to "make things official," which I take as just another way of saying they want to make a public commitment. I do think that men get a status boost when they're married. I notice it especially among groups of professional men - there's a lot of boasting about their wives and children. Yes. I heard that too. But I also see a lot of men dragging their feet and a lot of women who are eager to marry. I can't speak for others, of course, but I experience a …
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/22 02:10 PM
1

You are making a big of assumptions here. You don't see into the bedrooms of others. You're right. I shouldn't have done that. I should edit what I wrote. We once had an endorsed member who was very strongly on the trad side. We got along well but he preached a very conservative view of sex while having a marriage that he was wildly unhappy with. He constantly complained that his wife was a feminist and depressed and they didn't ever have sex. Meanwhile my husband and I were doing very non-trad …
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/22 11:59 AM
1

I stumbled on this too as earlier he OP said she saved herself as that’s what she personally believes and it was not to compel him Yes. I explained this concept at great length. A big part of this post. but later there seems to be that cow-milk-free argument? The argument you're referring to is mentioned - in passing - in a sentence or two - to illustrate what other people, might be thinking. I think looking at other posts we can see many women had sex w their now husbands before marriage and st…
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/22 03:43 AM
1

Where I live, sex before marriage is very much the norm. Here as well. I personally, don't have to be the norm. Nobody marries for sex. They probably don't have the intimacy (described here) either. People get married because they want to settle down and start a family, Fewer and fewer, later and later... or because they want to make a public commitment. How many men marry for this reason? I heard many, many women give this reason. I can't remember ever hearing a man say this. Have you?
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/22 03:39 AM
1

Thank you! I'm enjoying the warm welcome and great discussions since joining recently. why would he want to commit to such restrictive walls, when he's already getting the sex that he wants! " With the term "restrictive walls", I mean the way I defined it earlier in the post. Can you explain what you mean? Are you suggesting that men only get married because they want to have sex? Good question. Here's what I mean (I was thinking of including a clarification of this in the post itself, but the p…
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/22 03:00 AM
1

It’s great to see you’ve become an active contributor! There’s been some really great discussion on your posts. Than you very much! I feel very welcome here and almost every comment has been so respectful, even when in complete disagreement. Personally, I’d be curious to see this metaphor expanded to other aspects of building a relationship beyond just virginity and sex. As I wrote in the end, this post was primarily to address many of the objections I received on my previous post. However, I al…
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/22 02:27 AM
1

I waited until marriage as well, Would you mind sharing your reasoning? I find that many people think of negative reasons to wait for marriage. In this post, I tried to articulate the positive reasons why I waited. I'm curious to know your reasoning, if you don't mind sharing.
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/22 01:34 AM
1

I made a new post, explaining my position and answering these and other questions that came up. And again, why would men invent something they hate and would never willingly do unless sex is being withheld from them? Who said that marriage was invented by men? Even if it was - what men can gain from marriage is stability in society. Where almost every man can get a wife, instead of most women joining harems of wealthy men.
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/22 01:21 AM
1

I think the bar for slut is higher than one partner. We (society) can debate whether this good or bad but a few partners by a certain age is common today. So one failed relationship isn't going to get a girl labeled as a slut. I used the term "some would argue" because I haven't contemplated the exact definition of a slut, to the point of developing a thorough opinion on the matter (I don't really intend to either). So I can't really speak with certainty. Additionally, it's really up to the man …
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/22 06:45 PM
1

I guess that's your view of marriage, my view is more like the house is being built throughout the relationship, and then marriage is an extra step. So there can be significant intimacy throughout the relationship that builds, it doesn't have to come in only after you're married, if that makes sense. Sure. That makes sense to us, because to us, marriage is the nature end goal. Because we need commitment from men. But to men, marriage is not the natural end goal. To men, sex is the natural end go…
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/22 06:40 PM
1

The idea is that men have to earn sex and women have to earn commitment. If men are the gatekeepers of commitment then it is a woman's job to be someone he wants to commit to. Yes, but which part makes her a slut? Her spreading her legs or him not committing? I'd argue that it's the former that is the main component here. If she has sex with him but that is all she has going for her then it is on her if he leaves. She needs to bring more to the table. That's her responsibility and therefore her …
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/22 06:25 PM
1

Okay, now some thoughts on the meat and potatoes of your excellent comment. The gist of my post was that purposefully withholding sex (and in general, all other “wife privileges”) until some arbitrary date was an ineffective way of actually securing a man’s devotion, because you are essentially withholding the very tools that will inspire said devotion in the first place. A woman may convince a hungry man to do what she wants if she dangles the carrot in front of him, but this tactic leaves her …
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/22 02:22 PM
1

While the average man can have plenty of sex without catching feelings, most women can't. Men can and we can't. That seems to be true. But do they really not catch any feelings or are they just better at compartmentalizing in general, so they just file away those feelings in the bin folder? I don't know 🤷‍♀️ we'd have to ask the men. Perhaps you can give me an answer. What makes marriage different to a devoted LTR? The short answer: Well. I don't know if there is a short answer... I see marriage…
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/22 12:27 PM
1

I've always viewed marriage as kind of cementing your relationship, Marriage definitely cements the relationship. Once married, you're deeply stuck to each other in many ways. It's very difficult to become unstuck from marriage. because you are publicly declaring that you want to be with that person forever. With the divorce rate as high as it is, there's a massive disconnect between this ideal and the actual reality. Something isn't being done right. My thoughts change a lot though. So I think …
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/22 12:09 PM
1

I'm just wondering, do you not think any sex outside of marriage can be sacred/helping to build the intimacy? Of course it can be! It's just that oftentimes it isn't and also, the lines can get blurry. But yes, I do think it's possible. Marriage is a crystal clear context within which this intimacy is supposed to happen. That's why my personal choice was to wait for marriage. There is a big difference between having sex with someone you've been with for a few years, but not married yet, and havi…
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/22 10:54 AM
1

When we give away access to sex outside of marriage - we are treating sex like a thing, a fun activity. Is this universally true for all women? When you treat sex like a thing, a mere fun activity that you give away - you aren't exactly guarding it as a sacred bond. These are mutually exclusive ideas. Yes, this is true of all women, but this is not a value judgment. It's simply a description of cause and effect. Or just a value that's specific to more conservative and traditional leaning women. …
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/22 02:23 AM
18

I really want him to make the first move and be like "That was weird, I'm sorry" and then explain why he responded a certain way and then I can let my guard down and also apologize and explain why I responded the way I did and we can move on. This is a bad idea IMO. You take responsibility for your part. Don't wait for him to make the first move. You agree that you also messed up. That's the only part you're responsible for. That's the only part you have control over. Don't shirk your responsibi…
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/22 04:29 PM
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