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SherbertBacon Archive

View 0 posts and 4,250 comments by SherbertBacon on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Sure it is. Christ you’re naive. No I’m telling you firsthand that a person can name a place and time—any place and any time—and still be (a) a catfish or (b) not serious about meeting. Is it all fake? Of course not. But what a fucking fantasy and childish naivety to think most of it is sincere. You trying so hard to squeeze your imagination into making it happen doesn’t make it so. And by the way, all these “results” this so called “Chadfish experiment” have are literally hearsay. The guy could…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/21 07:47 PM
2

Btw, so if we don't get matches because we are picky, then ya'll say 'why are you so picky?' I don't say that. I say the game is rigged with online dating because it's all about marketing, it's full of time-wasters with no intention to meet, and it skews heavily male, making it almost impossible to match, and almost impossible to line up dates up and down the dating market. It is undeniably true you'd get enthusiastic matches if you "dated down." My point with being "picky" is that it actually p…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/21 01:14 PM
1

A high six, or light seven. Basically this guy, provided he takes quality, interesting photos.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/21 01:08 PM
1

Lol, so "no." I'd bet that many even slightly above-average dudes with decent photos could get the same results. Also, you don't know that these women's photos were up to date. Plenty shoot their shot with outdated pics, especially if they think it's just sex anyway. Edit: Shit, I forgot the best one! There's also people who intentionally try to trick "Chads" into sending nudes or dick pics. Why, I don't know for certain because they're kind of shit at being believable over an extended period of…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/21 12:49 PM
3

They gave me their number and address, and set up a date and time. You still don't understand how flaking works. This is a very common stage in the process my dude. It's only real when she shows up. Also, were you being picky or "DTFing" literally every account that likes you (and you know what I mean when I'm asking you this)?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/21 12:35 PM
1

Looks buys options, having a career buys options. Sometimes they buy the same options, sometimes they buy different options. Having both buys both. If you're dating men who want to commit already and you want to commit to them, there's no need to do anything. If you want men to commit to you from one of those other pools, it's good to figure out how to have more "buying power" in that domain and work on it. Or don't. Maybe you want a movie star but you're actually a loveable homebody. Those valu…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 08:56 AM
2

Huh I've always seen the opposite. Stable suburban chicks end up with stable suburban dudes who had stable and boring upbringings—I'm honestly jealous of how stable and boring their lives have been. I attract a bit of both stable and unstable because I'm stable but grew up in a broken home and have my inner demons. Due to my upbringing, I can also—easily, if I'm not careful—fall hard for the ladies from abusive homes because it's familiar to me. What I've noticed is these women are the ones who …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 06:27 AM
0

That's a pretty one-dimensional view on attraction. We're attracted to all sorts of different types. I know for a fact I'd turn off most party girls, goth chicks, spiritual women, etc. no matter how kind and flirtatious and fun I am, because we wouldn't click. The party girls and I would hate each other because I don't enjoy going out, the goth chicks live in a totally different world, I'd piss off spiritual women because I believe wooey stuff is a joke, ... and so on. You make it sound like all…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 06:17 AM
–

so only a very tiny % of healthy women are actually "repulsive" enough to not sleep with. What are you basing this off of? Every single one of my fellow guy friends are fairly picky, especially about looks. And I'm the worst of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 06:02 AM
–

Strong 7s. They'll commit to strong 8s and 9s if they want commitment.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 06:00 AM
–

Meetups always struck me as kind of awkward... I never attended so maybe it's different, but regular clubs and activities—especially intramural sports—are gold mines for dating. If you have even a little bit of presentation and "game" it's pretty easy to date within those spheres. A lot of people in my volleyball community met either directly through classes together, or between friends within the volleyball groups. Some of these people started all doing Bachata once a week and, as a dude, you p…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 05:57 AM
1

I wouldn't say "hatred" but it's a pretty common trope these days that dads get a pat on the back for doing the exact damn thing—or less—that moms do, who receive little praise or recognition at home or more widely. This extends even more so to single parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 05:52 AM
1

Pretty obvious really: culturally the given is that fathers can "leave" (yet he chooses to stay) and mothers "can't" (so she's just doing her "job" and stuck with her outcome). I'm not saying it's fair or rational, but people make snap decisions based on limited context, and the context implies that a single dad makes a sacrifice and willingly chose his stake in life, whereas the context implies a woman "bet poorly on the wrong man" or is "just doing her job." Double standard, I know.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 05:50 AM
–

Ok then make a "All I want to do is Bitch and Make Excuses" meetup. You'll find many like-minded people there. I didn't say any of this would be easy. You just asked "What else?" and I told you. Use that active imagination and think about activities that you enjoy and can do in a social context. If you don't enjoy doing anything then your problems are far beyond anybody's help. If you don't like any possible way to meet women, then maybe you need to accept that you aren't fit for meeting them an…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 08:58 PM
–

Language classes. Volunteering. Music meetups. Wine tasting clubs. The point is going to some activity you can and want to do where women exist also, befriending them, and then doing what I said above.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 07:33 PM
1

Intramural sports. Volleyball is a great one. Tons of women in many of those. Make friends, then meet their friends of friends whenever you go out to social gatherings.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 07:45 AM
0

Not even that mate. I'm only 5'8" and have more likes than I can sift through on Hinge and Tinder. Just have a nice face, muscles, and take good photos. A witty bio does the rest.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 07:44 AM
1

If you're a hot dude then yes dating apps are like shooting fish in a barrel. If you're a really hot dude it's like fishing with 2 tons of dynamite. Depends on what you want though. Dates (in general) or just sex? Yeah too fucking easy. But relationships (which is what I'm after) are still very hard to find—maybe even harder because many women assume you're just there to fuck around and you get lots of likes from women who aren't actually a good match. My suggestion is you seriously have to meet…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 07:36 AM
1

I knew that's all I'd have to search!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/21 11:13 AM
1

This guy is ugly inside and out.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/21 10:00 AM
1

1 like per day is not handsome, I think borderline average. Sorry dude...
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/21 09:54 AM
0

.....The fuck? Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/21 09:45 AM
2

Going to an 8 week or 8 month pray camp is not enough to undo decades of environmental conditioning that lasts 24/7. So you genuinely believe that being gay is conditioned, and that it can be unlearned? Hot take. And yes, the papers do support the thesis along with the other basic everyday phenomena I have cited to. Merely wishing it doesn't make it so. Cite where it supports your claim that it is "nearly 100%" conditioned. Social learning allows arbitrary preferences to spread and become more u…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/21 06:40 AM
2

Rather than men and women returning to the 'law of the jungle,' they're just descending into the law of Pavlov. By this logic, "Pray the Gay Away" camps should work. But they don't work. Therefore, your logic is flawed. Since a lot of individuals seem to have waded into this discussion with a pre 1990 understanding of the literature... Interesting papers, but they don't support your thesis that sexual attraction is "nearly 100%" learned. They only suggest that there are not purely universal stan…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/21 04:13 AM
8

It's objective within reason. Like music. We don't all agree that jazz is the best, but I can point you to a "bad" jazz song (or worse, not even a "song" at all) and a "popular/well-liked" jazz song easily. Similarly, I can point you to an unattractive person, or an incredibly hot person. Within this spectrum comes personal taste, in the same way I prefer jazz over pop but you may not.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/21 03:29 AM
1

I shit you not, the top VS models make millions of dollars with their contracts. That value doesn't just vanish because branding changes. They'll move on to other brands, or VS will diversify and have a "Luxe" campaign that includes VS Angels, or they'll always have social media where they don't need any other media but their phone and thirsty dudes.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/21 03:19 AM
1

I live in an affluent area of Sydney. Before that, downtown SF (arguably the WORST city to settle down young as a man). Most women in their late 20s and early 30s I know cannot wait to have kids, it is the men that are not in a rush to settle down and have kids. Yeah my cousin lives in Queensland and says even women in their mid-twenties there are already psyched up about marriage and kids. Too bad none of them want to move to my cushy beach town, and I don't want to give up my job/home to move …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/21 10:01 PM
1

We met at a really bad time in her life: she was fresh out of an engagement and still working through the dust settling on that. I should've paid walked away as soon as she said this, but we matched on eHarmony and she continually showed interest, so I gave her benefit of the doubt that she knew herself well enough to handle it all. We continue to date, share "I love yous," start talking about the future, she calls me a "soul mate," starts talking about when we can take next steps. Five months i…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/21 09:54 PM
1

Yeah she transitioned out of it over the course of a few months. It happened so gradually it took me a while to see, but once I did it’s hard to un-see
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/21 06:45 PM
1

Well, yeah. I know that. Again, these things are not what I find unattractive. “Little imperfections” are hardly my issue. I’ve been in (very) long term relationships before: outer presentation isn’t the same all the time. But there is a minimum threshold of attraction that can still be met in “PJ mode” that I need to feel a connection. Again, this is not a standards thing. It’s not a rule or a requirement I make up arbitrarily. Being attracted to your partner is just a fundamental necessity of …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/21 06:37 PM
3

Yeah it’s a hard lesson but it only needs to be taught once. I have a pretty good idea how to spot it if it happens again.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/21 01:14 PM
1

If it were a choice as to who I could be attracted to, I’d have been married off a long time ago. Unfortunately the physical attraction thing isn’t something I can negotiate. So, I do what I can to keep myself in great shape, looking good, etc. as well. I also recognize pregnancy is hard on a woman’s body. I’m not expecting flawlessness. But within the realm of what is possible, it’s important to me that we both take great care of ourselves, and prioritize fitness and self-care at any stage of l…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/21 01:03 PM
1

Yep I think that’s really it. I’m trying to find someone that checks all the boxes and for me that includes a high level of mutual physical attraction on top of everything else. I suspect that’s why it’s taking me so long, but since I’ve only ever lived my own life I don’t know if other aspiring dads have the same struggles
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/21 11:27 AM
1

Well then you were just unlucky to meet women who are not interested in motherhood. I suppose so. But I guess my point is they're pretty common these days. Might also be where I've lived. SF was hardly a place to settle down young, and the wealthy areas of Sydney don't appear to fare much better. If you are active on OLD, you could just hint already in your profile that you're interested in having kids and this way you'd filter out women who are pretty certain they don't want them. I have it lis…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/21 07:56 AM
1

​ What were their reasons? They either never wanted kids, or were completely unsure if they'd ever want them. In my most recent case, she was 31 and still hadn't really fit kids into her five year plan. She also only wanted one kid, a long while from now, provided it didn't interfere with her career. I'd like to be a dad within five years, and I want at least two kiddos. Or were the economic reasons? Definitely not economic. I make very good money and most of the women I date make far above sust…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/21 07:42 AM
2

there's still people settling down and having kids. I think very few of them exist in my demographic (UMC, urban, non religious). At least anyone wanting to have kids youngish (late twenties/early thirties).
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/21 06:05 AM
2

Fuck, I (30M) missed the age-window by just over half a decade. I've wanted to settle down with a family for about five years now. Guys about ten years older than me insist that I should have easy pickings, and can't believe that I've had to break things off multiple times with women who just had no interest in starting a family any time soon or ever. It's no fault of women. My heart goes out to them. I can't imagine trying to figure it all out and needing to figure out family trajectory before …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/21 05:25 AM
6

Not a sarcastic challenge: I'd genuinely like to see what women arrange as a 1-10 scale. And, more interestingly, how much (or little) agreement there is on the chart. My gut tells me women agree less than men on what makes a man attractive, which is a good thing for everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/21 05:14 AM
24

The first time I was being used it was so utterly jarring, mostly because you go from being one of those "first choice" people to a "backup," but they make the transition practically seamless. It also just didn't occur to me that someone who seemed so loving and affectionate could be using someone for their own security, but the longer I've been away from it, the more I've seen clearly that was what was happening. It's fucked, and it made me way more wary of anyone I date going forward.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/21 04:56 AM
2

Ehhh.... I think maybe I'm an 8 in looks. Lowest willing to date is a 7, but historically I couldn't commit unless she's also an 8+.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 02:42 AM
2

Short term: maybe virtual chat rooms or ways to engage on social media in VR formats. Short (Med? Long?) term: Sophisticated AI matchmaking. I suspect the technology is already there, but it's a self-cannibalising business and it requires enough willing participants to share their personality and habits and preferences in detail.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 03:27 AM
4

Is this satire? I've literally never thought along gendered lines about being prepared for something. When I go camping, to the beach, out on a trip, the men and women contribute in equal measures. There are lazy men and selfish women, there are cooperative men and supportive women. At the beach, my friend was pleasant. She didn’t make shitty comments about what anyone else was wearing or how their body looked. She asked me throughout the day how I was feeling so we could be on the same page abo…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 07:40 AM
1

I'm 5'8", and no. I've dated as tall as 6' and as short as 5'1". And what might make you more confident to ask? If she gives me indications of interest.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/21 11:11 PM
1

Because apparently you are trying to say it doesn't past the 5 4 mark. I'm not "trying to say" anything. Fivethirtyeight said it. With data. "To their surprise, that’s not what they found. Tall men don’t have a history of more sex partners than men of average height or most short men, according to their study in the latest online issue of Evolutionary Psychology. After dividing respondents into different height groups, the researchers found that every group of men taller than 5 feet 4 inches had…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 05:01 AM
1

I really shouldn't have to prove that women find height attractive right? Why would you have to prove that? Did you even read and comprehend the fivethirtyeight article? Do you even know what you're arguing against? Even in your study the averages increased as height increased. Do I need to explain statistical significance to you? Only the median was the same. Yikes. FFS.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 03:59 AM
2

If the roles were reversed and you were interested, is this how you would handle things? I think it’s pretty clear what’s happening here
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 02:45 AM
5

So let’s say a girl is into a guy, and said guy is into girl. For some reason, he starts to fade away (ghost). This is logically at odds with itself, no different than "Can God make a burrito so hot even he can't eat it?" Why would a guy who's genuinely interested start fading away? What do guys think of this? I think we have to make sense of why he's fading. If he's (me in this hypothetical) genuinely interested and just busier, I'd be flattered, or just think it's a happy coincidence and take …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 01:07 AM
2

80% of women would not date a 5'6 man despite the fact that he is taller. If you think otherwise you're clueless. Yeah sure..... "Facts have a librul bias," am I right?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 01:01 AM
1

Even if a dude is short, there will be so many women shorter than him that it shouldn't affect his dating chances and height wouldn't be an issue in dating. This is obviously false. Only US men below 5'4", which is "coincidentally" the average US height of women have fewer sexual partners over a lifetime than the rest. So, it's not false. Your face is false. Hypergamy isn't about how good you are compared to her. It's about how well you do compared to other men. For someone with RP flair it stri…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 01:00 AM
1

Someone yesterday in the Q4W post with the same premise said "I don't believe in leagues, and also no." I'm mirroring her response because it resonated with me. I don't think any woman is out of my league. Some are attracted to me and some aren't, but I bring enough to the table that I'm not worried that even the best of the best would feel like they're "settling downwards" for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 12:56 AM
0

If I were you I'd aim for $5M then start a small family office. Comfortably make 200k from the market and divvy the rest between private equity plays. Sit on a couple boards and work for options. That's my end game. One of my mates did that and his life is on an amazing "cruise control" as a result. That's a great strategy. I probably won't have $5M in liquid assets until closer to 40, since I'll probably put some in real estate. But overall that's the general strategy I'm going for too.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/21 01:03 AM
0

Same. I'm aiming to have a couple mil. in net worth by 35 and then just decide from there whether to go full FIRE or keep the hustle going. The worst part about it is I don't even want the fucking money, I just find myself doing it to fill my time because I can't find someone I want to settle down with.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/21 12:46 AM
1

I sleep with attractive women but have only banged a few that are model-tier. So as someone who has an almost identical demographic profile to you (except I'm 5'8" not 6'), this sentence was proof to me your experience is real. That's been exactly my experience too. I think a lot of people on PPD seem to think that top X% of men get model-tier women all the time, but I suspect that's reserved for top 1% earners and nobody else. I'd even go so far to say that top 1% earners can lack things like h…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/21 09:53 PM
2

Did you even read the study you linked? Did you? The section you quoted specifically talks about the length of the separation and the reliability of sussing out the reasons for divorce by proxy. The "convenience" mentioned in your cherry-picked portion refers specifically to the scenario just a paragraph above, that comes from a long separation before a divorce is filed. They're assessing the fit of their models against long-term and short-term separations. That has nothing to do with refutation…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/21 10:04 AM
2

I guess that would have to be the conclusion they draw right? Like if basic human decency automatically makes you a top 20%er then they’d have to say that anyone not in the top 20% shouldn’t expect or even deserve this.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 11:11 PM
2

Eh, I don’t get annoyed because I don’t worry myself with such things. But guys who complain about that probably do. And yeah they basically measure women against an invisibile yard stick on looks
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 08:26 PM
3

Very true.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 12:35 PM
1

Use sci hub to read the actual source if you can’t by other means. The DOI is right there bud. Whatever you do don’t make the embarrassing mistake of saying “the abstract doesn’t say this” thinking that’s an argument. That’s just hilariously bad—proof you didn’t even research the material.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 12:34 PM
1

The thing is most celebrities are famous for something other than their looks. They're professionals—singers, actors, dancers. They just also happen to be the best looking within that industry to stand out. Women and men who are famous simply because they look good will blow most celebrities out of the water. Nearly every woman on this list is more attractive than just about every female actress/singer I can think of, except for the top of the top. Not to say celebrities also aren't incredibly a…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 11:19 AM
0

Sometimes... but there's also a bunch who post videos, which is harder to bullshit with just photo editing and filters.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 11:12 AM
2

Nailed it. When I say I want someone who takes care of themselves, that's part of what it comes down to. Grooming and self-care make up a bulk of what most people on PPD consider the differentiators of hot/not hot. On the one hand it can sound shallow and pointless (if it's all self-created why value it at all), on the other hand it's a lot less judgmental and vapid when you realize it's a lot more a function of choice, rather than something you're inherently born with.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 11:10 AM
49

This really says more about his opinion on men then that it does about women. Why does he think men are such trash? That's what I thought too. How low of an opinion of men would someone have to have to think that "stable, secure, committed" makes a man "top 20%?"
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 10:54 AM
15

Others wrote they find her list unreasonable too. I don't find it unreasonable. I do think it's important that people who have lists for what they want in a partner know what they also offer, and that these are desirable traits to the people they want to attract. From what little I know about Narnia, she could probably easily get a man like this. Her description is basically just your standard white-collar man or tradesman, and they're incredibly common. I have no idea why Gen would call a guy l…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 10:52 AM
6

I respect any peer reviewed source regardless of whether it confirms my pre-existing beliefs. What I don’t do is accept illiterate interpretations of said studies from people who don’t understand what they’re actually saying. Also do you know me at all? Go ahead a cite where I’d ever say a contradicting source is merely “biased” simply because I disagree with it. I’ll wait.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 09:05 AM
5

Yes, that's right.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 04:56 AM
34

That's the correct answer. This paper found that to be the predominant reason for all filings.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 01:18 AM
5

Many (most) times the separation was already complete, but the husband just doesn't bother to file. Women are statistically less likely to be satisfied in a marriage—whether that's because men don't "show up" enough or women are just more easily dissatisfied is case-by-case. Men cheat more than women, but are also willing to stay in the marriage after an affair. The filer of divorce is often the person who expects to get more custody of children. Many at-will divorces have cases where men want l…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 01:10 AM
2

Bro if you can’t tell the difference between “I just said it all over the place” without actually providing your reasons and a well-structured syllogism for your “logic and reason” you have no business debating in the first place. I’m basically telling you my life experience is the things I see and experience. Fuck off with this “you’re not objective” bullshit. I expected better of you, but that’s on me. So carry on doing whatever the fuck you did before. This was an embarrassing display.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/21 10:07 AM
2

Logic, reason. Nice non-answer. C'mon man, debate in good faith. Outline the "logic and reason" you have for claiming they're being inconsistent. You don't think the top companies in the world aren't rotten by competition, schemes, politics and corruption, but you think there's in small ones? I'm only interested in speaking to my own experience, which discredits your claim that lying is the best strategy to get ahead in the top companies of the world. It's probable you naturally partake in the c…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/21 08:45 AM
1

f you are inconsistent that's when it is important. And what makes you think any of the people you're asking this question to have inconsistent views? Many would think honesty is expected in dating. Yes. But makeup isn't "dating" any more than wearing professional clothes is "working." you're insinuating that since you've never seen it then it doesn't exist, insinuating everyone's experience is wrong because of your privileges or observation flaws. I'm telling you that in the top companies in th…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/21 09:10 PM
1

Most of what I’ve read just breaks my heart. They sound like women who are defeated and know they lost out on the genetic lottery. It sheds light on my own internal ugliness because I also know that looks matter to me. I wish chemistry and attraction were a choice but I feel just as stuck in the reality of it as they do... and there’s a guilt that comes with knowing I’m privileged. Some, of course, are hateful and spiteful but those are rare. It mostly seems to me to be a community deserving of …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 10:17 PM
1

I said it was? Nope. It is what it is. Ok so then again I'm left asking why I'd give a fuck whether or not you want to call something a "lie?" You've insisted at least three times that makeup is a "lie" but you haven't taken that point anywhere. In fact, if anything you've only insisted the label doesn't mean anything. People are mixing feelings too much to their judgement, a lie doesn't become a lie because they're poor women they couldn't mean arm, you know? But men's lies are 100% to kill bab…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 11:41 AM
1

Saying "hell how are you", shaking hands, not being smelly, are social codes for living together and cooperating, even if you don't like to do so, even if it's not in good faith So you agree, then, that just because you call something a "lie" doesn't automatically make it bad. That's my entire point. The boss and human resources expect you to be transparent, but they aren't transparent themselves, and it's not in your interest to be yourself. I absolutely expect my boss and HR to be 100% transpa…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 10:43 AM
1

Oh so you're just talking of social codes. Yes. Doing something that isn't just "you, naked and plain." Same thing as putting on makeup, or wearing nice clothes, or styling your hair, or having manners, etc. I'm not talking of social codes. Right, you're talking about "lying..." but you without laying down a definition and explaining why social codes isn't lying but makeup is, you're free to move goal-posts at will. So, debate in good faith here. Put it in concrete terms. Social codes are useles…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 09:00 AM
1

Well, it's a lie And Trump calls news he doesn't like "fake news." That doesn't make me start caring. I care about what a term means, not the label itself. I'm about half as productive as the ISTJ who isn't lying about his professional attitude, so, somewhere you should care even in this bad analogy. Lying about your credentials and effectiveness is not what I mean by "professionalism" in the work place. Surely this is obvious, so I'll give you another chance to explain why I should care about p…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 08:51 AM
1

It's important to keep in mind it's a lie, I don't agree, for the reasons I already outlined. You "lie" every time you put on a professional attitude in front of your boss. I don't give a fuck if you want to call that a "lie." It's meaningless to me. What makes a "lie" significant is whether or not the other person truly believes you're being 100% transparent. I know that makeup is makeup, just like I know that people aren't professional all the time when they aren't talking to me at work. while…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 08:42 AM
1

If you like ugly shit that's on you. Yep. Give them all to me. I'll happily take the "fake" "liar" models and supermodels off your hands. Uh yes there are. To debate in good faith, you have to cite your claims. I'm not against people using artifices and maskarades to market themselves better, but it's lies. This must be a lost-in-translation thing but you clearly don't know what the word "lie" means. Or, you don't understand that slapping the label "lie" on it doesn't really change our attitude …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 08:25 AM
1

Why are you pretending that cheating in order to appear more attractive is putting effort into actually being more attractive? Why take the coward's route and hide behind connotative language to make your argument? Make-up is "cheating" as much as wearing clothes is "cheating." What a dumb usage of the word. Personally, if my gal wanted to get plastic surgery to maintain appearance, I'd be all for it. And that's as much "cheating" as you can get. Similarly, why don't you think that men who learn…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 07:58 AM
1

Extroversion: 55ish Emotional Stability: 95+ Agreeableness: 90+ Conscientiousness: 77-84ish Openness: 85+ Been a while since I took it, but I remember Emotional Stability is always my highest ranking, and extroversion is always borderline. The rest are high-very high.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 07:44 AM
4

Literally the exact same neurotransmitter as a bump from mood-altering drugs: dopamine. There's a reason people get hooked. I used to be way more open-minded about dating someone fresh out of a relationship like this, but I learned through hard experience that this is exactly the same as dating a recovering addict. It's no judgment on them as a person, but that is some very bad timing to date someone still going cold-turkey on the emotional roller coaster. What makes people hooked on poor treatm…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/21 03:14 AM
1

So physical attraction preference is only "not shallow" if they're biologically hardwired to not be attracted to them. ... Can you guess where I'm going to go next with this? I'm not seeing your logic here. In the same way you don't want to fuck or fall in love with a dude no matter how great he is, I cannot be physically attracted to—and therefore cannot love or desire to be with—a woman who doesn't do it for me (I'm a straight man). I have no idea why the second case would make someone "shallo…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/21 01:09 AM
3

Congratulations on also being "shallow," then.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/21 12:43 AM
1

Straight people are not attracted to the same sex, by definition, so your questions don't fit with the situation You just said requiring physical attraction is shallow. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with it. You're not sexually attracted to men, so you won't date them. Is that not correct? By your very simplistic logic that makes you shallow. I said attraction can be gained in more ways than through someone's physical appearance. That's not true either. What would a man have to do to make…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/21 12:43 AM
3

Then go onto /r/truefemcels and slide into some DMs. There's nothing stopping you.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/21 12:26 AM
1

We aren't flawless perfect robots who make perfectly logical decisions in these things. If we were, then we'd all be pairing off with perfect matches every time. If someone has to be physically attractive to you in order for you to be able to be attracted to them, you're probably just shallow. Would you date someone who is trans? Or someone outside of your sexual orientation? If not, then by this logic, you are shallow. If physical attraction is on or near the top of your list of requirements fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/21 12:25 AM
1

I can see how someone confused would think that. Jesus Christ mate.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/21 02:41 AM
3

We're talking about a controlled study that I specified the details of You said: Until and unless you can construct studies in which men implement PUA techniqies in order to get laid with a control group not using such techniques on unknowing subjects, TRP cannot be studied using traditional peer-reviewed research. Which is complete bullshit. Either you don't know what longitudinal and cross-sectional studies are, or you were being intentionally duplicitous. But to make the case that, without ru…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/21 02:24 AM
1

You absolutely cannot run a study in which men try to get sex from unknowing subjects Do you not know what a cross sectional study is? Researchers study murderers and sociopaths all the time, and that has way more ethical limitations than dating strategies. Why did you lie? I'm not lying, you're just not understanding.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/21 02:14 AM
1

Until and unless you can construct studies in which men implement PUA techniqies in order to get laid with a control group not using such techniques on unknowing subjects That's still not valid. You need to control for the women who are being approached and picked up, too. TRP cannot be studied using traditional peer-reviewed research. Current scientific ethical rules prevent that. Oh god, of course it can. That's what cross-sectional studies are for. Guys swap notes, use what works, and drop th…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/21 01:38 AM
3

I'll go with a 1-5 scale with 1 being "ugly" and 5 being "very attractive" (hot, Stacy, etc.), and assume by "approach" you mean something like a cold approach. 1: Never 2: Rarely, often by uglier men, often involving alcohol 3: Occasionally. Maybe 2-3 times per month, sometimes alcohol/bars are involved. 4: Often. Maybe once or twice a week, even in daylight on her way to the grocery store. 5: All the fucking time. Just about every time she's alone. I've dated a few 5s, it's hilarious how I cou…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 02:13 AM
2

The judges of attractiveness are ages 63 to 91 Right here's already a problem. Other studies show that older people are worse at judging the physical attractiveness consistently of how younger people rate their peers. This paper would never make it through the American or any modern day peer review system. Agreed. Welcome to PPD where all information is created equal!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/21 01:50 AM
2

They didn't control for the father's facial attractiveness. So... maybe these men needed more resources to get what they wanted, which would make them older.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/21 12:30 AM
3

Exactly one inch taller than a Stacey, which infuriates incels immensely because he still pulls her.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 08:11 AM
6

Lol all pregnancies are risky. Right but that's like saying "all vehicles are risky." Motorcycling at night is riskier than driving an SUV at lunch time. Would you (and, by extension, men in general) take issue with a “normal” healthy woman wanting to avoid pregnancy and childbirth? I wouldn't take issue. This was exactly the situation my ex and I were in, and after some long conversations I warmed to the idea of adopting even if she had no inherent risk/cost outside of the normal ones. It's her…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 06:06 AM
5

No no that's ridiculous. I'm five blue pill men and you're seven.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 05:47 AM
5

Also, there's quite literally what, 2-3 blue/anti-TRP men on this sub, so it's not like you'll get many answers. Excuse me sir, there are dozens of us. Dozens!!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 05:45 AM
3

I would like my own biological children, if possible. However, if I met someone I fell madly in love with, and we discovered she were infertile or pregnancy were risky or anything else, I'd still wife that little lady without hesitation. Bio kids are a perk, but for me it's about having my own family that really matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 05:43 AM
2

Yep! Sports and fitness are a huge part of my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 02:14 AM
1

What’s your thoughts on this? I'm of two minds on this. On the one hand I think there is a pretty clear notion (of some sort) of "leagues." So "dating down" is dating below your league and vice-versa. What puts someone in a "league" is a combination of looks, life path, character, personality, etc. On the other hand not everyone values the same things. A gold-digger will see a super wealthy but incredibly douchey/selfish man as much higher "league" than someone who puts more emphasis on personal…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 01:22 AM
1

2, 3, 8, soft 9 for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 01:02 AM
2

Every man will have a different answer for this, just like every woman will have a different answer for "How short is too short?" Personally, I have very strict preferences about physical fitness... but that's also because I play sports and maintain a very high standard in my own physical fitness.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 01:00 AM
4

I'm 5'8" and it's fine mate. We won't be runway or fashion models but that's ok. 5'4" and shorter is when things get dicey, but even these guys have more than one lifetime sexual partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 03:25 AM
1

I mean I'm pretty good about measuring my calorie intake, as my weight would be increasing or decreasing other wise. Again, weight isn't the only variable in play though. I dont consider glycogen stores. I want muscle gain. No my point is if you go from depleted to "full" in your glycogen stores over a day your weight can go up by even a few kilos overnight because of water retention. It masks the progress you are or aren't making. I guess if i lose 1lb of each fat and muscle, at 15.5% bf that'l…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/21 10:39 AM
2

So PPD, what are your thoughts on this? Is it common for men to be avoidant nowadays? Why the uptick in avoidants too? Is there anything women can do with avoidants? Avoidants make up about a quarter of the population. There's no "uptick" but with online dating they stay in the pool longer than other types, and are therefore more likely to be tripped over. Nobody can do anything with avoidants, it's up to them to make the changes they want to see. Same goes for anxious types too. Anxious Preoccu…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/21 05:44 AM
1

So yeah the most common issues are three things: People are terrible at estimating their actual caloric intake People look at day over day weight changes or only weigh in once a week rather than week over week averages of 7-day measurements. People use only weight to gauge fat loss, and don’t consider glycogen stores, muscle gain, etc. Without more details I wouldn’t know, but CICO with proper macro balance, and patience, is really all that’s needed for proper recomp.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/21 11:40 PM
1

It’s probably your program and how you count calories. What’s your diet? Edit: and training frequency more than 4x per week matters less than training right.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/21 08:09 PM
2

Somewhere in the 11-14% range I think. They’re taken years apart from each other so there’s variance there
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/21 07:54 PM
2

Yep.. Those were all taken over five years ago (turned in my natty card about three years ago). I probably could’ve inched out a tiny bit more but I was still learning what makes the most optimum program. Weak point was chest and rear delts, but my teasing nickname was even “Cap” in school, so most people felt it was at least comparable.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/21 07:34 PM
1

Apparently I can still be surprised
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/21 12:58 PM
1

Bill Pearly in the first example is almost definitely achievable natty, and he’s only a tiny bit smaller and softer than Evans as Cap. The gap isn’t wide enough to worry about. Most people will still be impressed with a Pearly bod
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/21 12:56 PM
1

You can look like Evans from the Avengers. Or at least very close. I got there naturally. Jackman isn’t possible without clen and probably some anabolics.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/21 12:54 PM
1

You think everyone can look like Scott Herman if they put in the work? Don't put words in my mouth. No natural can look like Scott Herman because Scott Herman isn't natural. I said "beach-body/underwear model" is achievable naturally for nearly everyone. Something like this. Is it Marvel superhero size and leanness? Not quite. Is it fairly close that the majority of people probably wouldn't care or notice? Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/21 05:50 AM
3

Yup, most people in this thread are whining too much. I'm honestly shocked at the level of professional victimhood happening. You can achieve that body natty, it just takes many years of consistent training. It took me six (when I started at 16), but if I'd known what the fuck I was doing I could've made it in three. That may sound long to some people but three years to be in the top 1% of fitness is amazing. If that were true of financial wealth you'd see people at the gym 3 hours every day.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/21 05:01 AM
1

Nope, you need elite muscle building genetics to achieve that big and lean physique naturally. This is absolute bullshit. But keep making excuses. Ask me how I know.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/21 04:59 AM
3

Im not sure why you only tangentially mention PEDs. To get Huge Jacked Man's body in Wolverine, to get Evans' as captain america, to get the body of Francis Ngannou or Yoel Romero, you have to be on shit. Because you can get reasonably close—at least "beach-body/underwear model hot"—without them. They just make things considerably easier and faster. Of course they did additional damage to the actors. But I avoided mentioning them more because people who think you need PEDs to achieve the "male b…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/21 03:40 AM
1

100%. You said it better than I did.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/21 03:06 AM
3

Thoughts? It's click-baity—reads a bit too much like an article making an excuse for why more men aren't their peak physique. Yes, these guys go the extra mile during shooting to give an edge-out in the appearance. But you don't have to do those things regularly to still turn heads all the time. Solid training is a 14-hour commitment per week tops. Proper diet with intelligent decisions doesn't have to ruin your social life. I've done the pre-photo shoot prep. It's gruelling. No carbs followed b…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/21 02:59 AM
-1

What do you guys think is true? The main point is it depends on the person a lot more than the generality. Some people have hugely over-inflated standards against what they bring to the relationship—men or women. Some people will tolerate way too much. Generally, I think everybody has the bar too low. Not just women for men or men for women, but everyone involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/21 10:46 PM
3

Eh, that's like saying "work skills don't matter because a recruiter won't even look at me without a degree." Degrees matter. But if you have a degree and no work skills, you still won't get the job. They both matter. Looks are just used as preliminary requirements before considering anything else. And, I might add, in rare cases—just like a very talented employee without a degree may get a pass—a very attractive personality may be given more of a shot even if first-take looks don't do anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/21 10:43 PM
1

At the end of the day, do you believe you are as successful in dating(whatever that is to you) as you should be? I've glowed-up about as far as any man can. Have you reached your ceiling? No but the further improvements will just come with experience. In time I'll have more assets, more life experience, and a wider pool to date from as I go into mid-thirties. Could you do better? Red pillers might think so since I don't really take advantage of the readily available casual sex opportunities in m…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/21 11:19 PM
1

See my edit The second quote is all about "moving into A". Even people casually dating someone new will overinflate their perception of attractiveness of that person.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/21 02:05 PM
1

“ This research supports the hypothesis that judgments of physical attractiveness of an opposite-sex individual can change after one learns about the personality of that individual. Further, this effect exists for both women and men; for targets who were independently rated as attractive, neutral, or unattractive; and for increasing physical attractiveness judgments after receiving desirable trait information versus no information and for decreasing physical attractiveness ratings after receivin…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/21 01:49 PM
1

This is what I asked you to show me. Then you said that wasn't your claim; Yes, thank you for summarizing why I said your request was silly. Make your mind up. Don't give me false dichotomies. You can't even decide what you believe. "Less attractive people are literally more satisfied with less attractive partners than if an attractive person partnered with that same person." 5s are happier with 5s than a 7 will be with a 5 (Study 2). Over the long-term a 5 will see their matched 5 as significan…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/21 01:31 PM
1

Oh my God, I am going to go postal if I have to see one more bluepiller move the goalposts after being corrected on their nonsense. You're creating your own agony mate. Just re-read my first comment and end your misery. Do you think people date others of their own attractiveness level because: It starts out as B, but then evolves into A over time in LTRs. Seriously this isn't hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/21 01:07 PM
1

Point me to exactly the parts of those two documents that show that people find people of their own attractiveness level more attractive than they do people above their attractiveness level. Why would I do that when that isn't what I said? Your claim is self-contradictory. I can see how you'd think that, but mostly because you didn't understand what I wrote the first time. People settling for each other is not my definition of 'works'. The majority of people are satisfied with their relationship…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/21 12:40 PM
0

Social proof for being good at sports. Idk
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/21 12:38 PM
-4

If you say so.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/21 10:02 AM
2

So yeah in those cases, I'd also be wigged out. That's crazy.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/21 10:02 AM
-10

If you want to take the weak route and attack character do what you want. But it's against the sub rules either way.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/21 10:00 AM
4

They get very fucking enraged. The violence is far less threatening than the social confusion that arises from it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/21 09:58 AM
2

There is no feeling of vulnerability, of potential violence, of the potential that if you resist shit will go south. Someone's never been groped by (what should be) a good female friend before. The resistance comes from social pressure, the vulnerability comes from not knowing whether to tell them to fuck off or politely refuse them. By the way, yes absolutely physical fear comes into play, but the social pressure and vulnerably social situation is what often makes it very uncomfortable for wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/21 09:57 AM
-7

This is creepy at best, and witch-hunting at worst. Come on bro be better.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/21 09:51 AM
1

Says the majority of men who have ever gone on a date. Show me how a majority are saying this. Don't just claim it, show it. Has it ever even been discussed before, or is this a mistaken assumption of "no news is good news?" It's been discussed, and many are in very happy and fulfilling relationships. People present themselves in the best light possible when getting to know someone that they're interested in, don't they? I used to think so but these days I'm less sure that's true. In any case, o…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/21 04:14 AM
1

Yes, but it's a commonly-agreed-upon sentiment among men as a group. Says who? Which is why this being a common observance/experience among men makes it much more relevant. I don't see it as common. Practically no man in my real-life social circles (of which there are many) voices this sentiment. Luck of the draw, maybe? Out of around a hundred first dates? I should play the lotto. The question, however, is "if everyone was gay, would it be better for both sexes due to the similarities shared an…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/21 03:54 AM
1

"lOoKs ArE sUbJeCtIvE" is posted all over the internet. The whole reason looksmatch works is because looks are (at least somewhat) subjective. Less attractive people are literally more satisfied with less attractive partners than if an attractive person partnered with that same person. What bluepilled nonsense is this? No, people settle for people in their league, because that is the best they can get in a monogamous society where everybody wants the best they can get. They are not more attracte…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/21 03:50 AM
0

I don't understand the obsession. It's an obvious, unconscious thing. People are attracted to people roughly in their "league." Why the fuck would anyone bother reviewing an hour-long movie of people living their lives to "confirm" this?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/21 03:15 AM
4

Ok that's much less weird. Still a bit weird—I don't get the looksmatch thing at all—but at least well within confines of idle curiosity rather than full-on insane.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/21 12:47 AM
15

Yeah I know this is a profoundly weird thing to do "Profoundly" doesn't even begin to cover how weird this is. What do you guys think? You need to take stock of your life for a moment. This is unhealthy and very peculiar. It's also a complete disregard of privacy of everyone filmed.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/21 12:35 AM
1

Fifty-fifty split. I have some friends who get offended if the guy doesn’t offer to pay. I have also been on dates myself where I had to sneak over to pay ahead of time because they would’ve really tried to insist going Dutch.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/21 11:00 PM
1

I’m 30, whichever that is.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/21 09:48 PM
1

Absolutely. We had many great dates together
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/21 09:26 PM
2

Interesting. I didn't know about the message stat. But it does make sense given a large portion of Tinder users are just on there for entertainment. It would make sense that both men and women swipe for validation.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/21 08:20 PM
1

Men opt for more violent attempts, which are often more successful. Women opt for pills, which means they often fail or are saved.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/21 08:17 PM
1

I did. But then I was in a LTR that whole time. Still, even in high school I took her out to nice dinners, beach picnics, Disneyland getaways, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/21 08:14 PM
13

The easiest "sign" is that if you stop monkey dancing, she'll just leave. High-maintenance/gold-diggers are the easiest in the world to avoid—far more easy than abusive men—because firm boundaries and self-respect actively chase them away by default.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/21 08:09 PM
0

How do you feel about the above quote? It's literally just the diary entry of one man. If we were to take each of our personal experiences as gospel for "all of dating" we'd get nowhere, because we all have wildly different dating experiences (for example: I've never dated a "crazy girl"). What men and women is this guy dating? We don't know. How does he behave in relationships? We don't know. What are his expectations? We don't know. Does it resonate with you? Nail on the head? Not exactly. I u…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/21 08:07 PM
2

Low barriers for who to sleep with. Apparently most men want to run around the planet spreading their seed to nearly any willing participant. I'm far more picky, almost as picky as many women—if average swipe stats are to be believed—and far less easily impressed by a woman just based off of looks or anything else. I get shade on both sides for this: From men who think I'm squandering opportunity, and from women I reject.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/21 07:53 PM
1

Play mixed sports sometime, it will blow your mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/21 07:50 PM
3

That's high-tier fucked. What's wrong with people?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/21 07:45 PM
1

This has just been based off mine and my friends dating experiences so might not be applicable for everyone (obviously). It is just your experience. In both my LTRs and into commitment I did more of the initial pursuing and made more of the effort. Why am I expected to always respond to him and make time for him when he wouldn’t do the same for me? Because he's in his early twenties and clueless. Is this a common experience? Eh, common for some but not others. I find it's more common for my fema…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/21 07:44 PM
2

Depends on what you’re looking for and who you’re after, but general suggestions are: Write bios that are not only original, but highlight the qualities you want a partner to appreciate most in you (by “showing” not “telling.”) Flirt/banter with matches and take an interest in who they are. If they aren’t meeting you halfway, move on to people who are. I see my friends swipe right for the weirdest reasons. They make assumptions about a man based solely on his career, a single photo, etc. But the…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/21 07:34 PM
1

Exactly. I think a lot of people chase a “feeling” they expect to have with matches—but it’s nearly impossible to really create over just an app. To create that feeling requires attention, proper vetting, willingness to move to a phone call quickly, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/21 07:15 PM
1

I think this is varying experience. In my case I see loads of women with flawlessly good photos (not filters either), but their bios are just boring and non-descript. That’s better than no bio but it doesn’t filter or invite attention of men who need more than just looks to swipe right. I find it suffers way more on the messaging and following through with plans side of things
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/21 12:26 PM
4

I think that’s actually a better approach. Good to swipe right less than 5% of the time. My own rate as a man is under 10. As decoy says, given the low “like” rate I’d just suggest swiping more until you have a handful of matches per week. Give them the full attention and vetting you do on the “good” matches and that should help. I don’t have that luxury. My queue of potentials bottoms out way before I can get heaps of desirable matches in a week—and that’s not even factoring in the social media…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/21 12:22 PM
5

I would think hookups are even easier to facilitate. But I can only make notes on what I’ve seen in terms of LTRs, which is what my friends and I are after
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/21 07:20 AM
2

Yep
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/21 07:18 AM
4

I don't think it's "Chad chasing." A lot of their matches are, to me, fairly mediocre. It tends to come down to how they message, from what I've seen, and been on the receiving end in my own experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/21 06:50 AM
7

What makes you think that? They've been on apps for years and unhappy with the results.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/21 06:48 AM
22

My controversial take is that men have it hard online because they don't know how to present themselves, but women have it "hard" only because they don't know how or care to vet in the right ways, which is a much easier problem to solve. The presentation fix will lead to more matches, but I've found that still does not lead to many quality dates—and that's the end of what a man has control over. Conversely, if a woman learns to use online dating effectively, she still has most of the autonomy, a…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/21 06:40 AM
1

Do you consider yourself to be a good catch? Do you think the typical person would consider him/herself lucky to have you as a partner? I'd like to think so. What traits do you possess that make you a lucky catch for a relationship? Kind, empathetic, charismatic, commitment-oriented, well-educated, I'm passionate about relationships, bit of a romantic, have my emotional and mental shit together, know what I want and am ready for it, interesting hobbies, very conscientious. Also I've got a decent…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 08:05 PM
7

I don't know man... honestly it just gets old. Once you've met someone you really click with on a deeper level the casual stuff after that just feels like empty calories. Every once in a while it's fine to indulge during a dry spell but I just got bored with it. Maybe if it were a constant flurry of Victoria Secret models or something I might change my tune, but I suspect even then the novelty would wear off quickly.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/21 12:22 PM
5

I'd have thought you'd be glad I'm not contributing to the mythological CC or alpha widowing.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/21 11:33 AM
2

Attention span is a huge element of it too. The way I see it the following variables each multiply the difficulty and frustration of online dating: Liars/Bad intentions (Over 30% of people are on there just for entertainment. That's not including married/taken people) Dead accounts (Only about 12% of accounts are daily active users. Less than 50% of all accounts check in once a month) Demographics. The gender imbalance means women can be considerably more picky and men will often have few to no …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/21 10:06 AM
1

If I were to go on TRP, I'm not considered red pilled by the community. I haven't been there for a few years now. I see. Yeah I've noticed a lot of the "old guard" of RP would fall more in line with what you'd say, and would also say that RP today is nothing like what it was before (or supposed to be). In practice, however, I would probably qualify enough offline to be red pilled and no one would ever know that. Some old-school RPers would say the same about me (or have in the past). Although I …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/21 07:05 AM
0

I mean if we're talking purely about monogamy there are RP men that are monogamous but don't live with the woman. Ok that makes sense. Couple things that aren't acknowledged: 1) men have a wall too, it's just later 2) if a man wants children marriage isn't such a bad option as long as you have really good lawyers to set it up properly and you vet really fucking well to find as close to a unicorn as possible. OK also makes sense. Have we "debated" before? I feel like the most relatable and agreea…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/21 06:40 AM
3

So this is still captured in pill theory. Some men take the approach of, "Be attractive to all women but choose one." How is it "pill theory" if they basically just covered literally all men? That's like saying atheists are covered under Christianity because Christianity discusses both the types of people who do, and don't, believe in a god. I don't believe in the whole HVM inevitably cheat or HVM can't cheat rather they exercise an abundance of options. However, it's still within RP theory to b…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/21 06:16 AM
8

That's right. Men's tastes in physical appearance are much more codified than women's. How that plays with the 80/20 rule? Imagine two alien races: The Brutes and the Elites. Both are asked to judge their like/dislike of a cake. BUT they can only do it based on tasting the frosting and reading some basic information about the base flavor of the cake. Brutes have 80% consensus on cake preferences, largely based on frosting flavors. Elites have only 50% consensus on cake preferences, some of it is…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/21 05:00 AM
21

Me: 30M I like monogamy, I don't feel hard-wired to cheat or have multiple partners at once. I know I could, but it doesn't interest me. I've only met a handful of dates I'd ever consider "out there" in terms of crazy/intense/possessive Looks matter a lot (they can definitely be a deal-breaker if I don't feel attraction), but I also am unimpressed by looks alone, no matter how hot she is I like a bit of the chase
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/21 04:46 AM
1

Obviously people choose to interact with it. But we buy into illusions all the time and are perfectly happy with it (movies, sense of control, free will, etc.). For people looking for connection, and bearing in mind this interaction is effectively indistinguishable from talking to a human on the other end, the “buy in” is easy.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/21 07:03 PM
1

Yep. We thought we'd have jetpacks and hoverboards readily available by 2021 and we're nowhere close to making them practical. It's the unexpected things that develop rapidly.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/21 06:26 AM
2

It's ok, they'll slowly blend together. A boring dystopia will lead to complacency and ineffectiveness which will inevitably make us like those fat chair-sitters in Wall-E by the time the alien conquerers come to find us.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/21 01:11 AM
3

You can't touch artificial intelligence companions. People are happy in long distance relationships. Provided there's SOME way to simulate physical feedback, I don't think it's impossible. Remember in Bladerunner 2049?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/21 11:20 PM
6

I don't think it will be a threat.... I actually think it will be a complete replacement. We're creatures of pain and discomfort avoidance. AI that are built with the specific goal of giving us exactly what we want can give us a dopamine fix unlike imperfect human interactions. Tinder and online validation machines are already proof of this. Same with e-gambling. I'll go one step further: it has the potential to actually be a good thing. Partners help shape who we are and who we become. If we fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/21 11:18 PM
6

Sophisticated AI will be indistinguishable from authentic companionship. That's the whole point of the Turing Test.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/21 11:14 PM
1

In other words, if someone offered to pay you money (eg. million dollars) in order for you to never see your dream SO ever again, would you take it? No amount of money for me. My quality of life is already fantastic, I don't need more money.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/21 08:09 PM
3

Yeah totally. If we could really change who we were attracted to them the “pray the gay away” camps would work. In reality, I think some people tell themselves what they do and don’t like based on some script and ignore attractions to anyone who deviates from it. That’s where having an open mind or trying new people can help. But just telling yourself you can love anyone if you only try hard enough is a recipe for frustration.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/21 09:46 AM
3

we have a greater ability to exercise some control over what we are attracted to than we think I don't think that's true. I've tried. Over time, you might find yourself finding somewhat shorter guys more attractive (or smaller boobs hotter, etc.). I don't think that's changing what you're attracted to. My counter-offer is that they were always attracted to these people, but allowed themselves to feel the attraction and be drawn to them. It may sound pedantic but that's a huge distinction.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/21 04:16 AM
4

It seems pretty obvious you're conflating two very different concepts. Flattery, empty compliments, and ass-kissing is the opposite of leadership or masculine energy. Nobody would ever tell you otherwise. But it's pretty damn obvious, even to me a Blue Pilled man, that part of the message around developing your masculinity includes building others up, giving sincere and well-deserved compliments, and leading by virtue of strengthening those around you. That's completely the opposite of ass-kissi…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/21 01:07 AM
1

But you can't separate the two. It's well documented that sex ratios affect behaviors and perceptions of the opposite sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/21 10:17 AM
1

Would you sleep with a woman you thought was ugly? No. Have you? No. Is there such as thing as too ugly if it's just a hook up? Yes. Does there need to be some level of attraction for a hookup or is it irrelevant if sex is guaranteed? There absolutely needs to be attraction. I don't do much in the way of casual sex, but if I do there has to be a solid connection and at least a decent bit of sexual attraction there.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/21 05:26 AM
1

It’s a big difference
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/21 04:01 AM
1

FB definitely categorizes you (ie., puts you in those groups), what are you talking about? There are third party categorizations it includes you in, as well as predictions it makes based on activities you perform on Facebook. These are separate from the basic demographic information you provide. It has both a “known” and an “intuited” portion of how it delivers ads to you during the bidding and delivery process. Your eCTR is a calculation on both these elements. Your first argument is making les…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/21 01:04 PM
1

You used FB marketing data to make an irrelevant point. Who advertisers choose to target might be relevant to who most consumes the product, or it might not be. And there’s any number of valid reasons why it wouldn’t be. And no the accuracy of the data is contingent on the fidelity of that information provided in the first place. At different points in my life FB has wrongly included me in “single mothers,” “pregnant women,” “fathers,” “alcoholics,” “gamers,” and a whole bunch of comically incor…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/21 12:24 PM
5

It's even worse than that. Upwards of 30% of users report being online solely for entertainment/window-shopping purposes. I wonder what the gender distribution is on that motivation as well. Oh also only 20% of the reported users are daily actives, many more are monthly actives or completely inactive accounts.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/21 12:18 PM
-1

My actual words were "most of it is probably middle aged women". But you can't even use market targeting data to go that far. As just one example, advertisers sometimes target market sectors with less saturation, even if the buying rate is higher in other sectors, because ads cover the spread more effectively. I can't see how the second point about advertisers not doing their proper research is even relevant here. FB isn't applying research to these target demographics like a traditional marketi…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/21 11:34 AM
-1

Yes but you used this logic to say that those are the only people who consume that product. That's just not the way to use FB marketing data. Even a minor edge, like 10% higher hit rate would mean that it pays more to market specifically to that demographic audience. Also, advertisers don't always know who to best target their products to. They choose the demographic information, but believe me when I say even some of the biggest brands don't always do their research on deciding who that should …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/21 10:52 AM
0

Pulled the data from Facebook Ads Manager Target demographics don't mean that everyone who buys it are in that target demographic. That's just the most bang for the buck.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/21 09:20 AM
1

“Boyfriend”? There was never a commitment component to this.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/21 07:17 AM
1

Again, 50% of people are secure. That’s reality enough. Partnering up with insecure people is a bad idea. That’s also reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/21 01:46 AM
0

Ok....? I don’t really care what’s happening to them. I’m just telling you what they chose to be a part of.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/21 01:15 AM
1

Why should I care what the majority of people do? We’re talking about what’s best and what works in various contexts. Security is measured like any other evaluative dimension: on a likert scale based on behavioral and attitudinal responses to various dating and personal situations.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/21 01:14 AM
1

Wanting to possess and successfully possessing are different things. You think the men in the harem wouldn’t choose to keep my friend to themselves if they could?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/21 01:07 AM
1

Irrelevant. It doesn’t matter how many, a smart person doesn’t settle for an insecure person—it’s a miserable relationship. But just to solidify the point: about 50% of the population is estimated to be secure so even the irrelevant counter-point isn’t worth considering
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/21 01:06 AM
1

This has always been the case for some women and men. Napoleon Bonaparte obsessed over a woman who did the same to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/21 12:58 AM
1

Try again https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1996-00463-006 Edit: https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/Reciprocity-of-Liking-Eastwick-Finkel/64741e5b53e532f84adecf8c758d4c0f993b1f9f https://www.researchgate.net/publication/264223276_Playing_Hard-To-Get_Manipulating_One'S_Perceived_Availability_as_A_Mate https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2013-15983-001
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/21 12:54 AM
0

In fairness my friend is fit, attractive, successful, well-mannered, and has a penchant for attracting very obsessed powerful men. This was not a one-hit wonder situation for her. And why do you call her his “girlfriend?” He knew exactly what her situation was.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/21 12:51 AM
1

Self-improvement can sometimes be a years long process I’ve noticed most aren’t ready to commit to, way easier to force a relationship and be miserable I guess Oh absolutely. Hell, most people won't even commit to bettering themselves in simple ways for online dating. Messaging, filtering, bio writing, all of this can take less than four hours to get a solid handle over, and nearly nobody does it right. With respect to a wider aversion to self-improvement, I've just learned you can't wait around…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/21 09:46 PM
1

I don’t like rolling up my sleeves, it’s incredibly uncomfortable when I do that. Interesting. I usually prefer it. I guess I wear boat shoes? Do laceless Clarks count? Eh, they're close but maybe just a degree too casual.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/21 09:44 PM
1

My friend actually had one of these for a time, and she loved it. She had her rich bankroller travel guy, her alpha sporty bicyclist, her intellectual museum goer, and her artsy poetic type. For those not looking for marriage or trad-con relationship narratives, she highly recommends it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/21 09:42 PM
1

HVM have to actively comfort to avoid too much of it. Insecurity can pretty easily kill a relationship unless the woman has no options either. Absolutely. I've sadly lost a few relationships for this reason. Sometimes no amount of reassurances can assuage deep insecurities.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/21 09:41 PM
0

For insecure people, yes. Not for secure people.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/21 09:39 PM
3

Some personal experience here. Anxiety kills my libido and insecurity about my partner's attraction that they'd fuel would kill my attraction to them pretty quickly. I highly value comfort, honesty and openness and think that close relationships should make my life better, not make me worry about something for no good reason. I love knowing that there's securely-attached types on PPD who can remind me that healthy relationship-seeking mentalities exist. This is exactly how I feel too. When someo…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/21 09:39 PM
4

Sadly, certain personality types are actually more attracted to unstable and insecure relationships. But you're right that mentally secure & healthy people value more—and seek out—relationships with mutual respect and shared values.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/21 09:30 PM
3

Polo shirt and khakis? Dear god man why would you do this to yourself? You can make a huge upgrade by swapping to navy chinos or shorts & boat shoes. Or swap the polo for a fitted button-down, rolled up sleeves.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/21 09:28 PM
7

More than this, some people won't date someone they think are considerably more attractive than they are, because they don't trust that person will be faithful/happy with them. We all appreciate and admire high quality values, but some people (men and women) shun extremes or large differences because it can make them feel insecure in the relationship. Examples: Lower class men who refuse to date more educated/financially independent women. Fitness levels/physical attractiveness levels (especiall…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/21 09:05 PM
2

It will probably always be impossible to reconcile having a blank spot in my memory where everyone else has the greatest times of their lives If going out and partying in your early-mid twenties is the best time of your life, you live a sad life. Things get so much better in your thirties. I rarely drink, never partied. I spent that time and money investing in myself and my life is improving exponentially every day. I'd never trade anything I have now to back and time and party/fuck my way throu…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/21 02:27 AM
5

It SEEMS all the ghosting happens after these hot and steamy makeout sessions or sex 1 2 3 This is exactly why I say PPD anecdotal evidence can only be used to dismiss universals. Confirmation bias colors everything else. Now for the guys, I NEVER see posts like this. I mostly see, I matched with a lot of girls, had dates planned out for me, and they all ghosted me this week. I do, all the time actually. Which pill explains what I noticed on datingoverthirty? The ImaginationPill, or... the Confi…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/21 12:27 AM
1

I agree, and I'd say that's true for a lot of the projections I see on reddit about dating. For example, it used to be a meme/trope that any women who vanished in messaging after a match did so because she found "someone better." But I can say from the dozens of women I've met from online dating, that isn't true at all. To the contrary, it's often because they meet someone terrible who spooks them. That's just one example.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 08:36 PM
1

didn't say they cared about all of that attention, but i'm also not the one who preaches the 20/80 rule-- red pillers do that. Right but we don't have to split hairs. I'd go so far to say that it's nearly 1:1, maybe 1:1.5 in terms of attention received vs. given when it comes to actually meeting up for a date. It's exhausting managing matches and messages. I reset my account, but at one point I had something like 2,000 likes in my Hinge queue. No fucking way I'm sifting through that, and absolut…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 04:30 AM
12

Men should apply this to women. .... We do already? I know I do.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 03:06 AM
1

I'm definitely not demi-sexual. The two women I loved most were something almost like a "love at first sight" situation (I don't actually believe in love at first sight). It's probably more related to general fitness level. I stay very fit, have toyed with doing fitness modelling just for fun on the side—I really love extra slender women, with visible abs. I'll take small boobs + abs any day. Add to this the fact I have a high standard for facial attractiveness too. If I were into partying my li…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 02:34 AM
27

Here's an idea-- did you know that the top 20% can reject women? ...[W]e should encourage men to raise their standards a bit instead of praising those men for being easy. thoughts? Most already do. Just because the top 20% get 80% of the attention doesn't mean they act on or even care about all of that attention.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 02:09 AM
1

I'm including spouses in sex partner count, so n >= number of spouses. Oh I think we're actually saying the same thing then. The gap increasing implies that the the marriage gini is increasing for men more than it is for women. Maybe I'm missing something obvious but I'm confused how that can be possible. Women still need to marry men, and men who divorce and remarry would have to leave women with the same set of choices. I guess one scenario would be Bob marries Sally at 21, has two kids, divor…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 01:33 AM
1

The vast majority of men in my social circle are wholesome and can get sex if/when they want it—usually (but not always) in the context of dating towards finding a LTR.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 01:00 AM
5

Is it something else? Sufficient pool of desirable options. I've got my life in order, but crossing paths with single women who have the same, are single, and who I feel physical attraction/chemistry towards are incredibly rare. Maybe one in a hundred app matches, and one in five-or-ten-thousand acquaintances taken at random (including men and women in that one).
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 12:57 AM
1

If you could change one dating/social/sexual norm, what change would you make in order to make the biggest possible impact toward your ideal view of the dating market? The way dating apps are currently used. It's too easy to swipe/message while distracted, and there's no social penalty for shitty behavior. More accountability, and more intentional behavior (for example, 1:1 communications in isolated instances) would considerably improve the experience for men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 12:54 AM
1

No this is still a good analogy. How easy is it for LeBron James to whip up a casual game of basketball where he actually has to play hard? I don't mean a curated NBA game but just from among random people he crosses paths with outside his NBA sphere. It's rare. He's fortunate there's an entire ecosystem where players of an equal skill-level can find each other, but in dating I don't think there really is an equivalent, even in online apps etc. So for attractive, successful women it's like LeBro…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 12:51 AM
2

But for the short, chubby, somewhat unattractive, unpopular, below average IQ woman, dating should be a walk in the park. "Dating" is not a walk in the park. Getting casual sex from men she finds attractive is a "walk in the park." But most women don't particularly want or care about that "perk." I think this has something to do with men's ability to empathize with women's dating troubles. It seems sort of backwards, but attractive women have it naturally harder to find LTRs compared to less att…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 12:49 AM
1

I'd be physically attracted to slightly more women than I am at the moment. The biggest issue I've faced dating has been dating women who were intelligent, lovely, attractive, with shared values. I just felt... nothing, and it ended up feeling like dating a sibling/friend. If I could go back in time and change my attraction, there are more than a few women I'd wave a magic wand over to feel intensely passionate about. If I could I'd probably be married—or on the way to it—by now. who are you att…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 12:44 AM
1

On the contrary, men are more likely to be divorced and remarried or never married [2,0], women are more likely to be married once [1,1]. Huh, interesting. by necessity a lower gini than num sex partners as spouses are a subset of sex partners. Wait, not necessarily, in that it's possible that there's more conservative men/women who marry at a higher frequency compared to their sex partner count, for example. On the other hand the never married gap appears to be increasing. Is that a function of…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 11:17 PM
1

Like the reverse? Because that's what I was actually thinking too: men have a more egalitarian long-term relationship Gini coefficient than women because they're the "selectors" of LTRs.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 01:13 AM
1

Ah ok. That makes sense to me, given men are more liberal in their sociosexual orientation, and women are choosier about who they have casual sex with, it makes sense there wouldn't be a balanced gini coefficient for sexual partners, and it would more evenly distribute among women.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 01:06 AM
3

The burden of proof is on you to disprove AWALT. Only for TRP. For everyone else who comes in agnostic, that's on you. In any case AWALT is trivial to disprove, any number of anecdotal examples I've found with women show that some universal "law" that dictates their behaviors isn't true. (Let me guess: This is where you step in and say AWALT is just a "guideline" thereby goal-post shifting to make your claim un-falsifiable. Once you do that, you put the burden of proof back in your own court). A…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 10:22 PM
1

Interesting. And what coefficient variable from GSS were you calculating specifically? Physical attraction? Online dating usage?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 10:17 PM
3

She doesn’t have to even be a bitch. Just boring or misinformed or shallow or a smoker is enough for me. Even a party lifestyle won’t work for me
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 09:08 AM
4

Oh of course. I won't be so ridiculous as to suggest looks don't matter. I just don't think it's as simple as looking at photos in the same way it is for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 08:59 AM
5

I should've clarified that I don't believe in systematic overl-generalized truths in the same way TRP does. There's no such thing as AWALT or anything like that. If you prefer more effeminate men, I fully accept and recognize that. There are separate reasons and mechanisms for attraction than just masculinity. It's just that, as an aggregate trend, women typically prefer masculinity. The widest net you can cast is leveraging masculinity.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 08:58 AM
1

People Broadly Agree On Who Is Good Looking Or Not- My first source, "Is Beauty in the Eye of the Beholder? (2006)" is written in direct response to this... Beauty Is Objective And Measurable In The Brain .... This paper is exactly the one that "Rating Attractiveness: Consensus Among Men, Not Women, Study Finds" I linked above is talking about. I agree with this, but the trp does not promote these game playing behaviors. (if you read anything about the trp you'd know) What's "dread" then? the st…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 08:55 AM
2

Oh shit this is pretty cool. I'll be playing with this data for a long long time. Thanks for this. drops from ~0.1 to ~0.06-0.08 depending on outlier filtering. Hmm that's much closer to 0.0 (perfectly even) than the doom-and-gloom projections of 0.5 for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 08:48 AM
1

Pew Research reports that singles feel less pressured by society, friends, or family than ten years ago, and generally don’t feel pressured. So I agree with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 05:05 AM
1

I'll even send you the scripts, how's your python? That would be awesome. Python is very decent. I actually once wrote a little Tinder simulator to show how the gender imbalances affect outcomes of men and women different on apps, showing how average men can get almost no likes (not due to pickiness, but simply not being visible to enough people). it was done on GSS data which is freely available That would be very interesting. Meaning whole-sale populations? I wonder how they got that data.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 02:07 AM
1

It's well established that men exaggerate number of lifetime partners and women downplay them leading to differences between the averages (even in the 35+ range you mention) which should be identical/1:1. It should be identical 1:1 over an entire lifetime, but when looking at only up to 44 years old you still don't even cover men when they reach the widest window of sexual options (age 51). Women get a head start but then fall behind in later years. Estimates are also seen as unusually different…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 01:51 AM
8

I don't think anyone would deny here women find way less men attractive than men do. Less physically attractive, which is an important distinction. When interviewed, many women talk about attraction to a man in the way that he carries himself, his capacity to to handle things, confidence. These things aren't well shown in profile headshot photos. I shit on TRP a lot but one of the very few things they get right is that women are attracted to masculinity, and masculinity has the good-fortune of b…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 01:43 AM
1

If we're just trading notes and anecdotes, I'll say in my experience male validation is very valuable. In sport and when coming from a mentor, there isn't quite anything like a recognized respect and earned word of praise. So it might just vary individual-by-individual, rather than some imagined gender-specific patriarchy bias or whatever.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 01:30 AM
1

You linked a 39 page report, care to point to a particular table that supports your claim? eTable5 shows that men even in the under 34 age range have more sexual partners than women in the same group. I've downloaded the data in the past and noted that across time and age the gini coefficient in terms of number of partners was consistently higher for men than women by about 0.1-0.15 iirc, I cntr-f for 'gini' but there were no results. The data doesn't look at gini coefficients. It's just a direc…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 01:16 AM
1

It's OK, we're already headed this direction whereby refusing to have sex with a feminine penised person is bigotry. No, we aren't. But the slippery-slopers and catastrophists are happy to claim it. So I'll accept this, it seems the rest of the intersectional ideology is already trending in that direction Nah, ask me how I know. Lmao, given how quickly you responded I know you didn't proofread, but this is hilarious. Nope, I just had this data memorized based on how many people say the same wron…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 12:30 AM
1

On the contrary this is a systemic issue, individual instances of someone refusing to have sex with someone may be an indication of bias but when it manifests on a society-wide scale it is clearly indicative of wider systemic issues. I see no reason to accept this. That's totally ad hoc. Or, you could say, then, that straight men (on a "society-wide scale") still rob gay men of equality. Also I'm not aware of any significant contingent of gay incels. Don't shift goal-posts. It's weak argumentati…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/21 11:57 PM
1

Feminism is the ideology created around the pseudo-axiomatic truth of a global-wide male conspiracy to opress women and benefit from their pain, exploitation, suffering and servitude, also known as "The Patriarchy". You've already lost me. Where in the liberal feminist (ie., mainstream feminist) discussion is any of this claimed? Here, peruse this to you heart's content, and let me know where it says anything about a masterminded conspiracy. 1) For a Patriarchy to exist, all men must agree with …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/21 11:49 PM
1

So, “marry one person for life and have kids” is not the dominant life script in modern western society? No. Plenty of mainstream stories praise the perma-bachelor, or the happily single woman, or the quirky "modern" family of various configurations. What is it then? Did you just read what I wrote? There is no dominant script.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/21 11:41 PM
1

Huh? The point is for every kind of "happily ever after" someone says we're supposed to get, there's a mainstream narrative that says something else. There is no mainstream consensus on what love is supposed to be. That's a big fat red pill myth.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/21 09:33 PM
1

lmfao good debate mate. Clearly you've thought a lot about this.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/21 08:26 PM
1

I say nothing because you don't read and understand what I saying and then you answer with anything that comes to your head. You don't want to understand or read what I'm saying fine. There's nothing to understand. The entirety of what you've been saying has boiled down to "You're making a comparison, and I say (without any evidence) that comparison is just your opinion." Do you have anything to add to this?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/21 08:20 PM
10

Tom Cruise has millions of fans but I'm not taking his fucking advice on anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/21 08:19 PM
2

In my personal experience most men I know make that salary or way above it because I'm in tech and in a tech city. 3 in 10 people in San Francisco have net assets over one million. Net worth is contextual. People also don't broadcast their wealth in SF/Seattle. If you moved to the MidWest and bought an expensive car, wore designer clothes, moved into the $500k mansion down the street, you'd be getting attention. Should HVM be allowed to Cheat since they have "options" What do you mean by "allowe…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/21 08:18 PM
1

Instead of saying the grass is greener on the other side, you say the grass is less green on their side. Yes, I've made a comparison claim, no fucking shit. That's the whole goddamned point. You're saying literally nothing at all. What are you even debating mate?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/21 08:07 PM
1

https://psiloveyou.xyz/7-lies-about-living-happily-ever-after-f37150e45458 https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/the-angry-therapist/201803/happily-ever-after-is-bullsht%3Famp https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Revolutionary_Road_(film) In Catch Me If You Can Leo’s mom leaves his dad to upgrade to someone else. These messages are all over mainstream media.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/21 07:00 PM
1

I don’t understand it because I’m a man. So how the fuck am I supposed to be saying the grass is greener on the other side?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/21 06:54 PM
4

Attraction is as much subjective as it is objective Pretending not to like someone/playing hard to get only works on insecure people Only depressed women tolerate and embrace poor treatment Only Narcissism coupled with extraversion (among the DT traits) indicated any sign of greater attraction in men Personality over time (i.e., positive Mere Exposure Effect) leads to stronger indicators of attraction—personality matters a lot Dominance is only more attractive when coupled with agreeableness (ie…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/21 10:10 AM
1

So are you prepared to agree that studies are worth believing? Because if so see my comment to who you just replied to.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/21 09:59 AM
1

Tell me what "mainstream" messaging is about love and I'll find content from an equally mainstream source that says the exact opposite. "Mainstream society and beliefs" is a catch-all for literally fucking anything you want it to be—it's not a useful definition.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/21 09:55 AM
3

Why are atheists still atheists after hearing about Islam? Because they weren't compelled by the claims Islam makes. The only agreeable and redeeming claims of TheRedPill are that one should take ownership of themselves, be their best version of themselves, and own their masculinity—advice you can just as readily pick up from any "bloopy" dating coach or blog. Everything else about TRP is wrong, toxic, and—in my opinion—comically try-hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/21 09:53 AM
1

No, it's the fact you consider that women have it harder than men. You believe that men have greener grass than women. That’s not an argument. “I disagree, therefore your statement is an opinion” isn’t an argument. The fact I agree with you or not on that statement doesn't change the nature of your argument. It's irrelevant. You haven’t made a case for the “nature of my argument.” You’ve just repeated over and over that you think it’s wrong and an opinion. That isn’t an argument, it’s a WalMart …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/21 05:03 AM
1

Because in your eyes women have it harder than men. So, in other words, anything you disagree with is "grass is greener." Also, "in my eyes" gravity is real. Does that make it an "opinion" by default? Your criteria for what makes something an "opinion" is bizarre. As we agreed it's your opinion. We didn't agree on that. You keep insisting it is. And I keep telling you how that would make you a crazy person, because it would mean you're trying to argue with me about my opinion. That, or all you w…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/21 02:59 AM
1

I told you first that you were making a "grass is greener" argument and that's pretty silly to do so. I guess we have to get even more simple then. What makes you think this is a "grass is greener" argument and not something else? You didn't like when we pointed out that a"grass is greener" is a silly argument and you started to explain to us that it wasn't that kind of argument to end up agreeing with me that it actually was. No I don't think you're saying anything coherent. Life exists in comp…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/21 02:24 AM
1

I first told you "Grass is greener" in your eyes, remember... Yes but think about how ridiculous that is... You're simultaneously claiming my statement is merely an opinion and then trying to debate me on it. Do you see how that would be a really silly thing to do? You would be right if it weren't for the fact you and I both know you're actually a feminist Now this is extra ridiculous. You want to say that my statement is based in some kind of preconceived bias that will never change... if you a…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/21 02:00 AM
1

You're presenting your opinion here as truth. It's called a "belief," and that's how arguments work. I tell you my belief, you say you disagree that this belief is true, and then we exchange facts and rationales. Saying "That's just like, your opinion, man," isn't an argument. Male Privilege IS a feminist concept. That doesn't mean we should start talking about the right to vote all of a sudden. It still has to be in the scope and context of what we're actually discussing. nd when you start sayi…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/21 08:10 PM
1

Right so we’re mostly in agreement here: men have it easier in some contexts and women do in others (e.g. becoming single parents, getting casual sex, etc.). My only differing point is that I believe men have better perks in more contexts, which is why I’d choose to take that “build” over a woman’s.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/21 03:26 PM
1

i am willing to bet that any IT nerd would trade with you... and they made a lot of effort, believe me. I'm a software engineer at a Fortune 500 company. I'm very aware of the effort. Many of them are happily married. I'm not. Looks don't make everything just magically fall into place. You defending women and how they have it oh so hard is proof of your naivety, when men are literally the expendable sex. Men and women are both expendable. Men risk their lives in terms of resources and time, wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/21 10:16 AM
1

This inherently skewes the stats. Women are also very likely not to report assault. You can't simultaneously say "we must doubt the data" and then say "we must trust that the data says men have it worse." That's so silly it's not even funny. A cost in one sex is the privilege of the other, Really? You gain something by the fact that women are sexually assaulted at 4x the rate as men? That, to you, is the same thing as a "privilege?" I mean maybe you could say men have the "privilege" of not gett…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/21 10:04 AM
1

"Grass is greener" actually means that in your eyes one side has it better. Yeah, I know that. That's why I said I'm saying it's literally true, not just somebody's opinion. This isn't hard to understand. Or, well... it shouldn't be. That ideology that considers that men are oppressors and women oppressed and male privilege is another example of this oppression. We're just talking about whether male privilege exists at all. You, in a very bizarre change of subject, decided to start talking about…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/21 10:03 AM
1

It’s misery for everyone
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/21 04:44 AM
1

Your analogy would have been valid if the difference of lifestyle between a Billionaire and a poor Somali was the same as men's and women's lifestyles. Jesus Christ. No it wouldn't because in my eyes men literally have it better. Not just "grass is greener," actually better. It's also besides the point. As I've said enough times to bang my head into the wall. The whole privilege narrative is essentially another victimhood Olympics. No it isn't. People who bring in victimhood apparently don't rea…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 08:49 PM
1

Well here is incel standpoint epistemology. Let's run through it and see if it's valid. Define equality as equal access to sex This is a terrible definition, and that's a problem. By this logic you rob gay men of equality every time you deny them sex. After all, they have a smaller pool of men to choose from. Feel free to argue the case for your definition of "equality," but that's already the end of the syllogism. I get you're trying to bring about a reductio ad absurdum but we need to get thro…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 08:46 PM
2

Personally I think men and women have it about equal. That's probably the closest to true. I just prefer the perks (privileges) men have over women, if I got to choose. It seems to me being a man with bad luck can be very bad, but outside of having considerable bad luck, the average women has fewer perks than the average man—and the man can make more out of his perks. That's why I'd pick "male privilege" over "female privilege." But knowing trans men who are happier after transitioning is a real…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 08:35 PM
0

So yeah, "grass is greener" comment. "I'd rather be a billionaire than a poor Somali." "Holy shit, grass is greener!1!"
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 08:31 PM
0

Neat. We're talking about privilege, it's like you didn't even read my first comment explaining how this conversation works.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 08:30 PM
1

Are males more likely to be a CEO due to gender or due to simply biological realities on the assertiveness of each gender? They're more likely to be CEO because CEOs are nominated by a board and there are more men at the high levels where promotion to CEO is possible. fair, but really not that much of a privilege I don't really care what your fee fees say about the privileges. Privilege just means, literally, an "advantage." You can say they're small or big. It's completely irrelevant. True but …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 08:29 PM
1

Uh.... what now?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 01:29 PM
2

I thought you were a woman because this level of naivety is something i never expected from a man Believe it or not, I actually know women personally, and have seen how they experienced life in their own ways. This is, in part, how I form my opinions. but considering how good you look it is understandable. Sounds like specious gaslighting. You're simultaneously saying I can't understand the plight of anyone until I've walked in their shoes, while also asserting that you know for a fact that wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 12:49 PM
2

Oh wait, i didnt see that you were a man and i thought you were a woman. Yeah, so maybe consider how your perception changed about my beliefs based on who you thought you were debating. If they aren't 1:1 that might be a sign you have biases about the person, not the ideas. Well, if that is you in your picture, you got really lucky. Eh, I've had my share of shit like anyone else. Actually, probably more than most. Looks aren't everything.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 12:44 PM
2

The fact that you have ANY complaints as the selective sex just goes to show how removed from reality you really are. Had you been born a man you would have been a beta, or at worst an incel, and then you would really know what is it like to find yourself on the wrong side of evolution. Hmmm interesting theory. Tell me more, oh shining white knight of the manosphere. Also, about those medical problems you mentioned, you do know men have a shorter life expectancy than women, right? I know this in…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 12:19 PM
3

No matter which side you are on, there is one set of experiences you are missing out on. But in reality, there is nonetheless a "greener" side of grass. At best you could say they're equal. I'm saying neither. I'm saying I believe, objectively, men have it greener. All your argumentation relies on choosing to believe that one side’s perks or problems are bigger than the other, while absolutely everyone arguing for either side has absolutely no knowledge of how easy or hard it is to be part of th…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 12:13 PM
1

I was pointed out the rate, you know the part where they did the math showing similar rates going by CDC data from 2011. They don't provide a holistic sexual assault rate 🤦‍♂️. They give: a rate of reported forced penetrations, a rate of assaults of minors vs. 40-year-old women, and a rate of intoxicated individuals. All of which are done to support the main thesis (the CDC has wonky question criteria for "assault"), none of which are in any reference to your initial claim (that men are assaulte…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 11:59 AM
1

That's the point, women would tolerate the lowest of the low just because some guys hawt. If you created a Tinder profile as a cirque-du-soleil dancer who travels all over the world you'd get similar levels of intrigue. You're confusing curiosity (a hawt psychopath) with attraction (someone who's hot). We are not the guy in the person Bacon so there would be no reason to actually go on the date? You're confusing curiosity with a willingness for someone to have sex, is my point. You think "I'll c…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 11:42 AM
-4

You: “Women have these problems!!” Somebody: “Well yes, but men have these other problems that women know nothing about” You: “I don’t even care. You can’t compare how serious these things has are” That’s fine, but in my view women still have it worse. Since you asked me to show you how you should see the world: here’s a little piece of advice. Feel free to take it or ignore it: Try not replying with “I don’t care” whenever somebody gives you counterpoints to your arguments. The fact that you ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 11:27 AM
5

I used to live in SF. I know plenty.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 11:00 AM
0

Do it. Because in all honestly if I was so wrong as you so claimed you been able to refute what I said by now. Instead, you are going nuh uh ur wrong and you are turning into this into a slap fight. It's an entire critique on a faulty CDC survey (note that it doesn’t claim the underlying stats are not therefore necessarily false, just that we can’t quote the CDC). The thesis of the article is that the numbers are (probably) bullshit. So.... where's your stat from a credible source that sexual as…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 10:36 AM
2

100% agree here. This is how I like debates to end, even if we agree to disagree on the output.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 10:02 AM
1

So I guess my final question would be; would you agree that in terms of establishing who is the “generally advantaged” sex in modern Western society (I’m just ditching the word “privilege” here), would you agree that quite straightforwardly totting up the pros and cons of the two genders is a fair methodology for establishing that? Absolutely, if we could do that in a level-headed way. But I worry that it isn’t feasible because we will probably never put perfectly identical weight in the same it…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 09:54 AM
3

In the first instance you were keen to point out that privilege wasn’t just a matter of totting up the “net benefit” for the two genders to work out who has it better, and gave the example of a soldier being someone afforded privileges over a civilian whilst not necessarily having it “better”. Yes, that's right. Now you’re saying privilege isn’t something which is assigned but is in fact made up of the range of advantages which one might have (which outweigh any disadvantages of advantages held …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 09:43 AM
4

Multiple idiots have already attempted this by passing as men after having lived as women. Not even remotely the same. What the fuck kind of argument is this? lmfao Invariably, all of them found out they were fucking wrong and they would rather not have all the supposed privilege cause the costs are simply not worth it. I know plenty of trans men who are much happier being men. But narrative on, my brother, narrative on ahead. Are leopards about to eat your face?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 09:30 AM
-1

Typical “grass is greener” comment. Typical failing to understand what the definition of "privilege" is. My issues are much more serious than your issues. My perks are a lot less perky than your perks and my problems are a lot more problematic than your problems. I don't care. We're talking about groups in aggregate. Not you specifically. It's fascinating and a bit hilarious. The bitching and moaning about male privilege is female solipsism at its finest. Tell me more about this wisdom you have.…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 09:29 AM
3

what privileges do men have assigned to them which women do not? It's not about assignment. Go read the definition of the word "privilege." It doesn't have to be bestowed by anyone. It's literally just another word for "advantage." So take your pick: physical strength, preferential treatment in certain industries, the ability to grow a beard, etc. Use your imagination. They're all privileges.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 09:28 AM
8

Certainly. Its trivially easy to calculate the proportion of men vs women overall. It's also incredibly naive. Women are assaulted in prison at much higher rates than men.. Twice as much, in fact. In 2008, it now says, more than 216,600 people were sexually abused in prisons and jails and, in the case of at least 17,100 of them, in juvenile detention. Overall, that’s almost six hundred people a day—twenty-five an hour." 216600+17100= 233,700 prison instances per year. You read that wrong and dou…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 09:27 AM
9

I did and of course you go straight to dismissing it because I can only think it doesn't fit your narrative. Ad hominem is not civil debate. Stick to the facts. I dismissed it for the reasons I already provided you. If you can't be objective, then don't waste your own time or mine. Did you at all read my source or looked for a gotcha? I read it and found the "gotcha" (by which I mean, your failure to understand your own source). The article talks about the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Vi…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 08:49 AM
6

I'm sorry but you're just making me repeat myself here: It sounds like you don't understand what the word "privilege" means, and are confusing it with net benefits (sum of privilege vs. costs). Privilege and net benefits are the same thing in common parlance. No they aren't. A soldier has unique "privileges" afforded to him/her with airlines, for example. Nobody with would read that sentence and think I'm simultaneously saying that soldiers have it "better" or "best" compared to the rest. Everyo…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 08:35 AM
5

Ok. And if you're a little old lady wearing a diamond tiara in a poor crime-filled neighborhood you're more at risk than either of them. This is completely derailed from the concept of demographic privilege. Men have a safety privilege. Black people have an assault cost. So black men have a combined assault cost. That doesn't mean men suddenly don't have a safety privilege. This should be obvious.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 08:28 AM
2

Yes
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 08:26 AM
1

But I've tried it? So im not just going by what they show people. But you haven't tried it. Not really. You made matches and had shitty non-starter conversations. That doesn't prove anything other than people may find more entertainment matching with and messaging hot psychopaths. And, honestly, who wouldn't? That's interesting and bizarre. That has no bearing on the fake-man's ability to get laid. I mean if they also send you nudes as well, I guess you can call that playing silly games? I absol…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 08:26 AM
3

As a man you’re also more likely to be homeless, more likely to be jailed, more likely to die in a workplace accident, more likely to kill yourself and so on and so forth. Cool story, I don't care. We aren't talking about costs. We're talking about privileges. If you want to talk about net benefits that's a separate conversation. Respectfully I’m absolutely dumbfounded at how anyone can say men are privileged in the modern West. It sounds like you don't understand what the word "privilege" means…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 08:20 AM
11

Untrue. Men are raped more than women. You just can't throw out prison rape. There's this thing in debate called citing your sources. Something you'll have to do. Untrue nowadays, and men have to be wary of assault accusations Based on.... what? Absolutely, due to the flatness of male IQ distribution; more men are mentally ill, in jail, and homeless as well. Go back and read my first comment again, because you apparently missed it. I already pointed out that itemizing costs doesn't discredit pri…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 08:11 AM
3

Because most of us do.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 07:58 AM
1

That's a lot of pointless work to photoshop a conversation. Sounds stupid. Everything about Chadfishing is stupid. And yeah, it is stupid, but people nonetheless photoshop all sorts of crazy things for attention. That's a terrible argument on your part to take their claim seriously. I was more into seeing whether they would be more responsive if the "Chad" was a convicted felon(murderer) or a woman abuser, and not surprisingly enough it was 100% responsive. Well then that was extra pointless, be…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 07:58 AM
12

Why should I? People with argumentation skills realize the important of backing their claims with evidence. Evidence they also understand and have thoroughly researched. Not just cherry-picked to support their claim. here's mine: Did you read it? It's an entire critique on a faulty CDC survey. The thesis of the article is that the numbers are bullshit. So.... where's your stat from a credible source that sexual assault is the same for men and women? Ostensibly you read the section that points ou…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 07:54 AM
1

I do not know what video you are referring to mate. They're mostly just screenshots. Ever heard of photoshop? I have tried this before multiple times there was a subreddit called Chadfishing that I was a part of around 2018 before it got banned, and we would run these experiments. And how many women agreed to actually meet up to a date with you? Not "tentatively," I mean something was locked in stone and she was about to be disappointed with what she saw? Be honest. And the point is not to meet …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 07:34 AM
10

Frame is a TRP concept No, it isn't. Frame control comes from NLP, which has been around long before TRP hijacked it. The atheist I failed to convert yesterday to Christianity didn't have the motivation to learn Bayesian stuff that I linked him Probably because they understand that when Christian apologists a la William Lane Craig try (terribly) to use Bayesian probabilities it doesn't actually lead to evidence for a god. Someone in my other thread thought it was funny that I use this account to…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 07:25 AM
3

0 atheists have been converted so far but I only began trying 48 hours ago. I'll take a bet on 72 virgins in heaven that it'll stay 0. Actually, I'll also bet my eternal soul to hellfire and damnation. I would never let my 17yo daughter near anyone over 19. So you can see why we're all calling you a pedo.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 07:11 AM
1

They expose what women are willing to tolerate in a man just because he is attractive. Your point? No, try again. It's literally a video of whatever the fuck someone chooses to make it. How do you know they didn't fabricate the messaging? How do you know they aren't filming curated messages and not filtering out the hundreds of women who call him disgusting (hint: people have recreated these experiments and could not reproduce the "results")? How do you know these phone numbers lead to actual da…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 07:04 AM
2

The man is clearly unstable
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 07:00 AM
3

Hey just FYI since this post will get deleted anyway: Fellow men when you say you're worried about being seen as creepy, this is the kind of things creepy men do. It should hopefully be abundantly clear how far off the mark is from regular flirting. /PSA
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 06:54 AM
2

Maybe I misremembered who initiated the conversation but I thought it was her, but I could be wrong. Fucking lol. That's a huge difference champ.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 06:52 AM
3

This is my account which I use to convert atheists to Christianity. Yeah and how's that working out for you? I'm a prolific poster/commenter in this community. Ok you tell me whether or not this is unusual, let's test the self-awareness: You pester women on chats who, at minimum, look like minors (and then turn out sometimes they are). You are an active commenter on this sub, but spend your free time trying to convert atheists (which I assume is an abject failure). But wait, no. On that same acc…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 06:51 AM
2

(hardly flirtatious or controversial). It's cringey and simpy. That's bad enough. Secondly, how old are you? If you're anything older than 22 you should use your brain and maybe gauge who you're talking to if they look like they could potentially be a minor. was it just mildly inappropriate or does it essentially make me a pedo? Given your other comment history I think you're a borderline pedo.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 06:48 AM
1

I included my Hinge data. Lol, so anecdotal. You realize what a fucking Chadfish experiment is, right (even if it's on the ol' YouTubes)? Haha my god please don't be serious here.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 06:44 AM
1

Probably none you'd believe, but my own personal experience and those of people in my inner circle can attest to it. Edit: Actually you can look at my past Hinge data as an indicator: https://www.reddit.com/r/hingeapp/comments/i7hin5/29m_six_weeks_active_on_hinge_with_premium_and/
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 06:38 AM
13

Men are nearly as likely as women to be sexually assaulted when you look at rate. I like how you didn't cite any sources on that. Edit: Here's one. Says women are 4x as likely. So? Men are likely to be labeled as the aggressor, far more likely to be victim of a violent crime, more likely to be homeless, have higher death rate, have a higher suicide rate, issues are less likely to be taken seriously. Nice whataboutism. Pick a lane. We're talking about privilege, it's like you didn't even read my …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 06:34 AM
2

This is going to sound crazy, but I was in therpay because of my dating life! Not crazy at all. In fact I just restarted seeing someone for exactly the same thing. I had a pretty fucked up romantic life in my 20s so it helps to get some perspective. I've been off the apps since 2020 and it does feel way better. Far fewer dates, but probably for the best.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 05:55 AM
24

As a 20some year old living in a developed society, I genuinely struggle to understand the "male-privilege" concept when you compare single women to single men. In the wild, if a cheetah and I are both being chased by a bear, the cheetah has "cheetah privilege" because it can get away from the bear and I can't. In the zoo I have "human privilege" because I can take pictures of the cheetah with my phone and buy pretzels from the snack shop with my disposable income. "Privilege" isn't a binary sli…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 05:47 AM
3

"Is that your pic? If so, then wow". C'mon PPD, I expected this alone to have been grounds to rip apart the 10/10 simp-ness of it all. Thank you for reading and if this community overwhelmingly concludes that I'm a horrendous piece of shit, then I will simply delete my reddit account! Maybe do more than just that. Take stock of your life, seek help, things like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 05:41 AM
3

Start by maybe evaluating your life before coming back.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 05:38 AM
5

True, but also especially true by him spamming that non-sequitur quote.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 05:38 AM
0

All of them? Look up Chad fishing. Yes, all of them. And Chad Fishing is hilariously fake bullshit. You watch the "Chad Fish" match and message women, but I promise the meet up never/rarely happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 05:30 AM
1

It's not even about looks, it's about who's on there and what their reasons are. I have my app game dialled in like nobody's business. I know personally, and have matched with, models/IG influencers/beauty pageant winners/etc. who liked my profile first. The same, callous, shitty, indifferent attitudes show up (and the ones I know personally fully admit they often like to use the app just for entertainment). It's not about how hot (or not) you are. It's literally just a platform to give and get …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 05:28 AM
1

A survey as far back as 2014 found that 30% of app users are literally just there for validation and window shopping. 90% of Tinder's userbase is under 24 years old. finally match with a annoyed woman who is cold and distant. She got what she wanted: validation and curiosity reached. How did millennials settle for this? 1/3 of all millennials have never used a dating app. A significant other portion probably aren't on them right now. It's like anything: you go to a place and assume everyone is d…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 05:23 AM
1

Explain why tankies are so damn annoying and then I'll take your question seriously. Tankies are annoying because they're way too idealistic about global conflicts and social reform. What's your point? What's a leftist... PPD is so fucking funny. It is, but mostly because of the culty language and simple one-track minded way they look at things.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 04:27 AM
2

Is feminist standpoint epistemology a valid way to determine the presence or absence of evidence of oppression of women? Why wouldn't it be? Seems pretty reasonable to: Define "equality" as X (standpoint matters here) Ask whether X is a desirable goal (standpoint matters here) Conclude X is a desirable goal Assess whether X is currently achieved in the world (standpoint matters here too) Decide what/how to achieve X if it is not Many viewpoints establish themselves this way. From political leani…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/21 11:44 PM
2

What does equality look like under a capitalist framework? Libfem equality isn't dependent on whether or not we're in a capitalist society. So... it would look like how equality would look under many different economic structures: fair treatment, equal opportunity, progressive social schemes. Are disparities in CEOs' sex tolerable? Wealth? Homelessness? Suicide? Depends on the reasons for those disparities. Are all disparities evidence of oppression? Obviously not. A woman born into a poor famil…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/21 10:47 PM
2

Of course not. Marxist feminism doesn’t even make up all of rad fem. The whole angle of mainstream (liberal) feminism is to bring about equality under the existing (in this case, capitalist) framework.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/21 04:58 PM
0

Oh absolutely. Social media profits immensely from polarization and outrage porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 10:26 AM
-1

Put your money where you mouth is, then. I promise I won’t cop out if you can give me even one non-bullshit comment and summarize a cogent criticism of feminism (as a whole, or if you specify which feminist movement you criticize and why).
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 10:24 AM
0

The primary difference concerns where inequality and oppression (if we can call it that) stems from. (Broad strokes here) Radical feminism subscribes to a theory that patriarchy comes from a materialistic source, e.g. biological imperatives, capitalism, etc. As such they believe equality comes from dismantling or upsetting or overcoming these materialistic institutions. Liberal feminism puts more onus on choice, and therefore suggest that equality is better achieved through evolution, education,…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 10:21 AM
1

Oh I’ve noticed.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 08:15 AM
2

Yep, 100%.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 06:58 AM
0

I can't help but notice how rabidly and enthusiastically these people latch on to thin shreds of "evidence" like that, too. Literally anything they can use to bolster their position, rather than engaging, you know, the actual movement's philosophy itself. It's telling.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 06:49 AM
-3

Nah, I was just hoping you would. Gonna viking up and actually debate, or pansy out like the rest of them?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 06:47 AM
2

It's not every day you see the anti-intellectual flex, but here we are.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 05:29 AM
1

How convenient. Hey check this out. I think it might help you for future debates.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 05:23 AM
1

You certainly didn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 05:00 AM
1

Am I allowed an opinion on feminism? Why are you wasting time asking? Just make an argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 04:51 AM
1

It would be off-topic here, you can have this discussion on a leftist sub if you'd like. I do, readily. That's how I can tell you that we don't put Dems and the GOP in the same category for anything other than leadership playing non-partisan lobbyist favoritism. "I don't like mammals because they keep shitting everywhere" is ok It's very ok. It's also the crux of the entire debate at hand, because the expectation/assumption is that all mammals (feminists) shit everywhere (do some disagreeable th…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 03:32 AM
3

Seems like you spend lots of time thinking about what I do in bed. That's sweet, but I'm not interested. You sound too desperate and insecure for my taste.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 03:26 AM
3

Ah, the hail mary try-hard frame. Never gets old to see in the wild.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 03:20 AM
2

To a leftist, core issues would be wealth redistribution, world peace, ecological transition, democracy, Ok then by that definition I'm a "leftist" and I can trivially dismiss your first claim: I don't see Democrats and Republicans as even remotely the same. They both have radically similar ideologies on all this, and choosing to categorize them under different umbrellas requires focusing on inconsequential details. No, they don't. Ask me how I know. You don't always have to be very precise to b…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 02:56 AM
4

like somehow you have the right to define feminism more than the collective consciousness Is that the tack you really want to take? The Self-Aware wolves are howling on the horizon. I can plainly see that this mental gymnastics is just so you can pretend to have a sense of guiltlessness. What a fucking stupid argument to avoid responsibility by INVENTING a technicality that nobody else believes. Are you ok? You sound mad. Calm down. Do some breathing exercises. Maybe engage the material instead …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 02:55 AM
1

I can only imagine you'd feel threatened if you thought this referred to you. Do you need to do some self-esteem exercises?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 02:53 AM
1

To a leftist, they are What is a "leftist?" They're both branches of the owners' party. They nonetheless have radically different ideologies on core issues. Choosing to categorize them under the same umbrella requires a very loose definition.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 02:32 AM
1

I don’t need to show my knowledge to anyone to enter a debate. No but you (royal "you") are expected to engage the material as it comes up. That's where the vast majority of PPDers fall short. I wouldn't care even if you were a post-doc in gender studies and had your pedigree on display. If the content isn't there, I don't take it seriously. In practice, all we are talking about are the various shades of liberal feminism, none of which have a particularly generous view on the role of men. No, th…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 02:25 AM
1

We need to become gender studies majors to even attempt to enter the debate. No, but you can start by showing you know the difference between radfem and libfem. A divide so wide and definitive it would be like arguing Democrats and Republicans are part of the same movement. is the desire of women (and some men) to elevate the female of the species. Wrong. Elevation is only necessary when there's an identified imbalance to begin with. No imbalance, no elevation. Anti-feminists are skeptical of su…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 02:08 AM
0

Well which brand of feminism do you most agree with? Broadly speaking, liberal feminism. How often do you see the bullshit stat that women earn 77 cents for every dollar a man earns? Rarely. Especially in the serious discussions/forums I encounter with people actually in-the-know about current feminist movements. I feel misandrist sentiments get a pass because men are the oppressor therefore it's okay. Well how you feel and what the actual movement condones are different things, no? We don't hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 02:04 AM
0

Do you wear extra thick shirts to hide that soft belly? That's got to be the ninth cowardly non-answer you've given, even when I bent over backwards to give you your own possible response. I'm writing you off as a lost cause (in many ways).
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 01:21 AM
1

Well funnily enough I actually have read into Marxist feminism and think they got things pretty spot on Well we're already on different sides of the divide on that one, but carry on. As for actual criticisms well for starters the pay gap which is a load of shit. Of course it's full of shit, it's also not the actual argument. The complaint feminism raises is about opportunity as much as it is an individual's paycheck based on merit. Socialization restricts women's inclination to ask for promotion…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 01:18 AM
0

Again said nothing about disagreement, I said for you to acknowledge a flaw within feminism. Materialistic interpretations of patriarchy is a flaw. What part of that don't you get? The part where you don't understand basic english.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 01:11 AM
2

I said to mention a flaw you recognize with feminism and not a disagreement. My "disagreement" is with a particular flaw, chief. .... How did you not realize that?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 01:02 AM
1

Sh sh sh precious. It's ok. Just let this go.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 01:00 AM
1

Do you get the same vibes when a doctor explains you're doing something wrong? Jesus Christ the precious self-esteems of redditors.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 01:00 AM
2

How do you know people don't know the difference? Commenters regularly raise issues about feminimsm (wholesale) but the criticisms raised are directed towards particular movements. I ask them directly and they don't answer. It's pretty intuitive from the name what it is anyway, that doesn't automatically invalidate any criticism of feminism people make here Is it? What does that say about commenters who fail to do even this, then? Even then, it's pretty acceptable given its Reddit and most moder…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 12:56 AM
2

You really shouldn't use words you don't know the meaning off. *of yet can't even point out a single criticism you acknowledge with feminism. I disagree completely with radical feminism's materialistic framing to explain patriarchal institutions. Any cogent thoughts on this?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 12:52 AM
0

I'll keep that in mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 12:47 AM
2

I'm just saying, your point may be better received if you didn't generalise so hard and actually explain what people get so wrong about feminism For starters, most commenters here have no idea what the difference is between radical feminism and liberal feminism. PS, I said that in the first fucking comment. It's right there for anyone to respond to at any point.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 12:46 AM
1

As any flaw I point out you will dismiss in one way or another. That's ad homimen. And also another cowardly non-answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 12:44 AM
1

And kid why should I give you a legit answer? With normal people, to demonstrate you know what you're talking about to be taken more seriously. You really think I am going to play your ego game? You've literally spent four comments not debating. I've got a pretty good idea of how you engage ideas at this point.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 12:43 AM
2

This is also a non-answer. But good to see ya white-knighting for a comrade.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 12:41 AM
0

You're making it out like feminism is a complicated thing to understand. Not at all, just that people on PPD fail to understand it. What that says about them is up to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 12:40 AM
0

I'll bet you do.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 12:39 AM
1

Another cowardly non-answer, not addressing the content. I'll reply again if you bring something of substance, provided you know what that is.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 12:33 AM
1

No more like people get what feminism is and you can't handle the criticism. There's nothing to "handle." People on this sub are so fucking ignorant of the movement that it's like listening to homeopaths talk about quantum physics. Not only am I not offended, I'm not even bothered. I just take joy in watching internet strangers proudly beat their chest at how angry and stupid they can be. You can't admit to any flaws of feminism. Sure I can. Try me. Tell a "flaw of feminism" (wholesale? Radical?…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 12:33 AM
2

Ok ... I have no idea why I should take your analogy as an accurate representation of reality though.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 12:30 AM
2

Brilliant display of reading comprehension failure 🤡.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 12:29 AM
1

You can think that but you be wrong I "be wrong?" But again you can't even admit to being wrong. Ad hominem, and one without even evidence. Do you even know what that word means? Yep. Also it's a "term," not a "word." (There's two words there). I get the impression you don't know what it means, however. For what? Giving your claim any bit of credibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 12:28 AM
0

Great. The coward's non-answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 12:20 AM
1

I just chalk it up to blatant misogyny. And their insistence/cry-baby whinging that it isn't doesn't make that any less true.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 12:05 AM
1

If you actually read them, you have the world's worst reading comprehension. I'm calling it in for a grand prize. (Cute you think about me sleeping)
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 12:02 AM
0

There's some Trump supporters that didn't rush the capitol but were in DC. Those are liberal feminists. Why do you think this? Now do I think that Trump supporters that did not rush the capitol are better? Obviously. What about the ones who stayed home and had no intention of rushing the capital or even showing up?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 11:51 PM
0

Just look at the one your defending there bud *you're.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 11:49 PM
2

To an extent this is true and that factual even. Has how is feminism not anti men when they create hashtags like "male tears" or "men are trash" or "men are rapists". Shall I point you to various comments within TheRedPill where men make comments about killing gay people, or running over women with steam rollers? Don't bring out the obtuse bullshit on this. There's idiots in every village and every movement. Pointing to them to make your argument just makes you look desperate. I get you feminist…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 11:48 PM
0

No, but pretty much does look and sound like all feminists, though. What's the primary division between radical and liberal feminists?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 11:45 PM
1

No you fucking don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 11:45 PM
0

This means its impossible to have a good faith discussion about feminism here, because more than half of the posters on the subreddit don't have a good faith understanding about what it is. They get full frothy-mouthed upon hearing the word without even realizing the massive divide between various feminist movements. I've just learned that anyone that easily angered, and that wilfully ignorant, probably has no fucking clue about much of anything. They signal to me their positions about dating an…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 11:44 PM
0

Funny how feminism claims it’s for equality yet chooses to go silent on Yeah and fuck pro-choice people for not also speaking up about environmental pollution, right? They better speak up about everything I want to be mentioned all the time!!1! or make men’s issues perpetually worse Show me a third-wave ("modern") feminist motion that has made men's lives "perpetually worse."
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 11:39 PM
6

So much of the anti-feminist bullshit on this sub is due to absolute ignorance on what the fuck feminism even is. Can't tell you how many idiotic comments I roll my eyes over where the commenter doesn't even realize there's a difference between liberal feminism and radical feminism, and that these are significant differences. I've learned to just dismiss debates when it devolves to that kind of empty rhetoric. It just tells me the person I'm debating is so clueless that an argument would be poin…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 11:01 PM
1

“Everyone on here?” Why should I care what PPDers say when it conflicts with actual research? For one, women and men have different reasons for having casual sex. Women often do it to acquire resources or a relationship, men do it for sex itself (this isn’t always true, but it is usually is). Secondly, men put more premium on physical beauty, so an attractive waitress will be getting attention from attractive UMC men besides just walmart cashiers. That means cashiers must compete with similarly …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 06:46 PM
4

“Nice” is often boring. “Boring” isn’t always nice.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 06:24 PM
1

Because those are dimensions of what make a man attractive to a woman. And because that woman has options that include men with more of those resources.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 06:24 PM
1

Those old producers are scoring hot models cause " muh charisma" ? No. What is your reading comprehension? This is the second time you could've consulted comments I've already written to answer your question. "They get laid because they have status, and the ones who can charm and work in the industry have the ability to date people in the same or similar status tier." Obviously a hot cashier will never even be in the same room as megan fox but someone of similar status will A hot waitress (same …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 07:09 AM
2

Without meeting him personally, I can’t pin down what things about him are boring. But I know very average and very “nice” guys who get dates all the time. And they hardly have a mastery of game, so there’s something specific about their friend
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 06:48 AM
1

The reason they get laid is your theory on who gets laid and why is totally wrong. They get laid because they have status, and the ones who can charm and work in the industry have the ability to date people in the same or similar status tier. Women also very commonly date upwards socially, not downwards (like cashiers).
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 06:46 AM
1

Producers because they are useful and have pull in the movie industry. Go read what I wrote again. These women already have fame, status, and wealth. They don't need anyone with "pull" for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 05:55 AM
6

Is there like a mental checklist that guys have of what traits make a woman feminine? Not me. It's more a way she carries herself. Sweet, bubbly, giving, open-hearted, expressive, good sense of humor, possibly elegant/graceful/beautiful (in the way she moves, not just how she looks). But it's not like I run through a list to see if she has those things. It's more just how we vibe, and those are the things I notice. Does a woman with more feminine traits have an advantage in the dating world? In …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 05:54 AM
1

He sounds boring and lacking flirtation skills. That has nothing to do with being kind/"not bad."
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 05:51 AM
2

The cashier will be getting numbers from quite a few hot chicks Lovely imagination, but hot women have the option to get attractive men who also have social standing. A hot cashier doesn't have the pull. The girls the producer gets only want him cause he's useful Speculation. And that doesn't explain why Hollywood actresses and models—who already have plenty of their own money and fame and status—would marry producers, but they do all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 05:49 AM
5

Most of the hottest women I've matched with have been through Hinge. If he isn't seeing attractive people, it's because Hinge shows you options based on what it thinks are in your "league." RIP your friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 05:47 AM
2

And the cashier will only slay with lower class women. Guess which one has more attractive options?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 05:26 AM
6

The meshing together is really really important. I spent years chasing the checkboxes based on what others told me a good relationship should be. When I finally met someone who nailed it flawlessly, and felt nothing—especially compared to women who didn’t check boxes but made me feel strongly attracted—I knew that a “perfect personality,” just like perfect looks or perfect anything else, is not objective nor universally agreed-upon.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/21 06:06 PM
3

No black pillers say looks are all that matter. They just goal post shift when they’re cornered, into “ok personality is important too but looks give you the most benefits!” and then treat it like a novel fucking discovery. Nobody, not red pill, not blue pill, not purple pill, will argue that “looks don’t matter at all.” Nobody will argue that having really good looks opens up a dating pool wider than personality. The bullshit comes in when black pillers come in and say that a hot WalMart cashie…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/21 05:44 PM
2

That’s exactly right. But it isn’t true to say induction in and of itself is fallacious. Proof by Induction is a valid proof in formal logic. The “fallacy” of induction to universal truths is that in the empirical world we can’t formulate that kind of inductive proof with certainty, because it depends on the kinds of potentially flawed premises Hume mentions. Nonetheless, it borders on radical skepticism to become so doubtful of even premises like “the laws of physics tomorrow will likely be the…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/21 05:24 PM
2

I know a few women who like to be seen with a hot male date (or perceived date) in public, and assume that this bestows on them extra points and social proof in the same way a man with social proof might. +1 to what others said about men being nice and agreeable, too. Not that agreeableness isn't helpful in a relationship, it just doesn't bestow extra attraction points, either.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/21 10:51 AM
2

Induction is not fallacious. It's logically valid. It just cannot be perfectly sound if the premises you rely on are not sound (e.g. Last Tuesdayism, etc.). You are right it can be very prone to bias (hence the importance of skepticism and parsimony), but let's not rule out the utility of induction completely.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/21 10:45 AM
1

This reads like the angry white people in the 60s who resisted the Civil Rights. "You already have slavery abolished, what more could you ask for!?!" Like, not the point dude. Progress is good, but goal-completion is the end-game.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/21 10:40 AM
1

I mean, what else, besides sex, you can't get from a friendship that you can get from a relationship? Romantic connection. If you've ever been in love before, you know it's entirely different than sleeping with a FWB. I've dated women where it felt more like I was dating a friend than a lover, sex was a part of that, but it was still not the same. Is there something else that separates friendships from romantic relationships? Yes. Love ballads and R&B songs are not written about fuck-buddies. Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/21 10:34 AM
1

So with regards to the talk about men and women having "options" when it comes to relationships or casual sex: what does this look like for you, personally? Lots and lots of options, just none that appeal much to me right now. As things are now, how many "options" do you have? When I used to use online dating I could line up as many dates as I could physically manage, if I wanted. These days there's a pretty decent number within my social circle, but as I said, none particularly appeal to me rig…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/21 10:08 AM
1

Is it really true to say it of "most" women? How would we know? I don't even necessarily disagree, I'm just agnostic at the moment. Curious what led you to that conclusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 05:16 AM
4

The correct word is "effectiveness." Power is too restrictive. There are men with no actual power but plenty of power potential, or who can get shit done even without an army at their back. It's why women say they're attracted to how man carries himself, how he uses his hands. Of course, power enables and demonstrates effectiveness, so you're not wrong women are attracted to power in many cases. But women are also attracted to men who aren't in power, and similarly there are men in power but who…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 05:13 AM
2

Exactly what I was thinking about when I said I thought she'd be unathletic. Both my exes regularly exercised and had regular nails, I can't even imagine what it would be like to try and play sport with long acrylic nails.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 05:09 AM
8

There's two possible answers to this, neither of them particularly uplifting. It's important, because I have to be physically attracted to her and I like knowing she takes care of herself. This implies, however, that without the makeup and self-care, she isn't physically attractive to me. That leads to possible answer #2.... It's not important because I'd only be serious with someone I was physically attracted to, and that means being attractive even without "putting on a face" every morning. Fr…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 02:17 AM
3

Or just this general posture that comes across as so wholesome and dull to me that I find it almost nauseating. And of course that's what everyone should want, and if they don't, there's something wrong with them. I've never seen anyone be shamed for not having that goal in mind. The general consensus is just that this relationship dynamic creates the most friction-free long-term life. If you want something else and want to take on the friction it entails, nobody will tell you you're wrong for i…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 11:38 PM
0

Yes, they’d do well. Zac Efron and Tom Holland are more evidence of this. I’m only 5’8” and I do exceedingly well.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 11:12 PM
2

I agree with you. Doormats have been around for ages, but every few years people come up with some special new term that needs re-hashing over and over
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 11:11 PM
1

In spite of how cringey it is to try and systematize attraction, I do think something like a harmonic mean is probably more representative than a general mean (studies seem to say women are more reactive to negative indicators of fitness than positive—that is, they look for reasons to reject more strongly than reasons to "accept"). That said, your hypothetical criteria also appear way off. Try entering someone like Tom Hardy or Mark Wahlberg (both under 5'9"). Even if we give them 10/10 in every…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 07:08 PM
2

No it isn't. Ask me how I know.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 06:42 PM
1

Nah many women rate 6’4” as “too tall” and it gets worse from there. 6-6’2 is considered the sweet spot.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 06:18 PM
4

Ok but that’s just another way of saying it’s not actual reality. Reality isn’t subjective. If I have my own version of things, that’s perception, not reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 11:02 AM
9

To counter quote with Daniel Sloss, I have many female friends who are strictly platonic and where “seeing each other naked would make us sad.” Not that either of us are ugly, but I have literally zero romantic or sexual feelings towards them. When Harry Met Sally us a movie entirely built around friends falling in love. Of course that’s the quote for the movie, but it’s not reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 10:56 AM
3

Probably because there is more variation in men's taste for women than there is in women's taste for men. That is the opposite of the correct statement. Revealed preference estimates were used to explore the level of consensus in judgments of who is and is not attractive and whether revealed preferences are systematically related to self-reported mate preferences and personality traits. Revealed preference estimates were created for over 4,000 participants by examining their attraction to 98 pho…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 02:51 AM
1

Ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 01:55 AM
1

You can theorize all you want as to whether it works or not, but until you've tested it, you'll just be guessing. ^That implies any rejection of a claim is simply guesswork if I don't go out and personally test it. But, as a neat little counter example, I don't have to go have gay sex to know I won't enjoy it. That's not guesswork, that's known and actually true.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 12:38 AM
1

Making me what?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 12:11 AM
1

I don’t have to test homeopathy to know it doesn’t work though. Otherwise you’re expected to test every possible permutation of magical thinking before you’re allowed to say you have doubts. That’s not a very effective way to getting to the truth.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/21 11:28 PM
5

How can any of it be considered solid strategy if it doesn’t work? Do you believe scientology, homeopathy, astrology, fortune-telling, or ghost communications work? I hope not. Yet some of these communities are larger, more pervasive, and more insistent on their reality than even TRP or FDS. Maybe things in FDS or TRP work, but using their very existence as proof they work is completely naive.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/21 10:18 PM
3

How old are we when this happens? If I’m pushing 65, then maybe I’d stay. But otherwise, I actually lived through a situation like this, we divorced. She came out as a lesbian, so obviously nothing sexual could happen between us. Actually she cared enough about me that she offered to do open marriage or something else, but, ironically, that wouldn’t have worked for either of us because it would’ve been weird sharing intimacy with someone else. So, no, I wouldn’t. That doesn’t prove sex is the on…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/21 05:53 PM
3

Bro she’s fine, easily a 9/10 in my book.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/21 09:02 AM
13

Yeah take a look at Reddit. There’s always a small minority of commenters who will actively shit all over objective stunners, like in /r/rateme or /r/amihot. It’s so transparent and bizarre.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/21 08:57 AM
4

Women are generally matching with someone more attractive then themselves; men are generally matching with someone less attractive to themselves. It's statements like this that convince me incels are all gay. A "looksmatch" is simply someone from the opposite sex who is in an equal relative tier of their own attractiveness (e.g. a 3/10 man and a 3/10 women.) I’m curious if you guys believe there is any weight to this theory Yes, studies actually support this. Most people pair off with someone ab…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 08:55 PM
1

Actual “cool girls” are just what we called “pick mes” before that term existed. Again this is probably a definitional disagreement, but actual “cool girls” tolerate cheating, put down other women; and bend way over backwards for a boyfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 08:42 AM
1

Nah “pickme” comes from “pickmeisha” which was popularized from lipstick alley, a community of black women. FDS just adopted the term. “Cool Girl” has been around for longer than that. I think “not like other girls” has been a phrase since the mid 00s
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 08:02 AM
2

Inordinate amounts of “niceness,” unwilling to accept good treatment of her own, regular comparisons to how she’s “not like the other girls,” etc. But mostly it would just be something that unfolds over time, a general sense of desperation to be in a relationship and sever lack of self-esteem and self-respect
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 07:27 AM
2

Yeah but why should I care what FDS calls a "PickMe" or not? This thread is about CoolGirls and PickMes in general, which exist far beyond the reach of FDS.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 05:32 AM
2

Then she wouldn’t be a pick me, by definition. PickMes choose bottom tier men and do whatever it takes to keep them just so they can say they have a boyfriend. A woman who does nice things for a man in or above her league is not a pickme, she’s smart.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 04:07 AM
2

Yeah we’ll just have to agree that the debate is useless until we have an agreed upon definition as a sub. Otherwise we’re doing the same dumb thing people do with “simp” by lumping “texting back within 24 hours” next to “picking her and her fuck buddy from the airport an hour away at 2am”
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 04:05 AM
2

He did a lot of dumbass “mind reading” which derailed the discussion, starting here https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ma4qqv/pickme_and_cool_girls_mega_thread/grqj92z/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3 Even when I summarized exactly the kind of pickme I had in mind (the asshole gamer) he didn’t correct it or address it. So I’m left wondering what the fuck he means by a pickme, but since he wouldn’t clarify I’m left keeping my own definition.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 04:03 AM
2

With that said, I'm not sure how sweaty gamers wanting their doormat GF to suck them off while they never pleasure her is relevant to TRPers of whom most deride committed relationships, even with said doormats Well if XtoDoubt was representing TRP in our exchange, it seems to me he'd be find with his hypothetical daughter being in exactly that kind of situation. That's what I'm calling out as a pathetic view. If TRP has some different definition of a "pick me" that the rest of us aren't privy to…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 02:21 AM
6

But FDS would call her a pickme because she had sex with me the first weekend we met and pays half on stuff like hotels and vacations. Oh that's not "pickme" in my opinion. PickMes are women who bend over backwards and do anything for a man they're dating, just to keep him around. They lack any and all self-respect, and bottom out their standards, but still worship who they're with just so they can brag about having a boyfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 02:19 AM
3

Most men aren't sweaty basement dwelling weed addict gamers who treat women like garbage. And those who are? They don't have any girls who want them in the first damn place lol Yes, but my point is a true and proper "pick me" is the type who accepts and dates men like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 02:18 AM
2

Yeah good point. Generally I'd assume closer to 50% of the population to be single, what with divorce rates and all that. But, this says 30%. And re-reading the study, the 9% refers to "single and not looking," specifically. Another 3% were listed as dating multiple people, 17% said "dating or seeing one person" (which may or may not count towards "in a relationship"), which adds up to about the expected result. The median age was also 37, and I suspect fewer very young and very old people, who …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 12:53 AM
5

Yeah exactly. And even if someone has an “ideal” height it’s rare we get exactly what we want anyway. She shared the study here: https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/m9u2cn/the_men_most_women_interact_with_and_the_men_on/grovwid/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3 Lots of gems in those results
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/21 10:39 PM
2

For men who don't value family and love, that's a good thing. I guess that (among other reasons) is why I'll never be TRP. Sounds like a pathetic way to view the world. especially after I read how alot of incels on r/incels love to fantasize about incest (both step and biological relatives) wut. What the fuck.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/21 09:26 PM
3

She can be whoever she wants (as long as she's a crappy version of a guy) Oh I get it you're just a shitty psychic. You wasted my time, and more embarrassingly, your own time, because you can't read minds or understand the meaning of words. Rather than strawmanning and paraphrasing what you think I'm arguing next time, you'd be better off making sure you understand what you're debating, first.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/21 09:16 PM
8

You would know too. You’re i think 5’8 right? and as attractive as ever to the ladies 5'8" in shoes haha. About 5'7.5" in bare feet. I think height is sorta like ass on a woman. A lot of men will say they prefer a big booty just like a lot of women will say they prefer a 6’+ man, but watch what they do not what they say. Exactly, and there is such a thing as "too much of a good thing" even with height. A lot of women find 6'3" to be the upper cut-off. 6'5" men also are filtered out by some women…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/21 09:15 PM
6

I don't try to convince women to do anything. That's like trying to convince the sun to rise in the West. Cool story bro. The rest of us will go on leading by example and hope for the best. It just sounds to me like you want your daughter to be a shitty version of a man. Nope. She could be whoever the fuck she wants, I just want her to respect herself and not reward bottom-tier men. The only reason I can gather you'd say that is because you don't understand what "PickMe" actually is.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/21 09:11 PM
11

.... Do you not know what a pick me is, chief? Your whole argument seems to depend on not understanding the meaning of the word. Out-of-touch PPDers: "Women, stop making yourself damaged goods by dating pieces of shit!1!" Same person: "Women, be pick mes to win the favor of men, that's how you keep them!1! Ride or die!!"
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/21 09:02 PM
4

I can't imagine they're so out of touch that even with a hypothetical daughter it would be desirable for her to be a PickMe though. PickMes are the stripper/porn-star equivalent of a girlfriend, on the hierarchy of respectability.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/21 09:01 PM
5

Apparently. By the way other people are debating here we’re all just talking over ourselves
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/21 08:44 PM
12

“I want my daughter to suck a sweaty gamer’s dick while he plays WoW with his buddies and smokes weed!”
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/21 08:43 PM
22

I'd pass on pickmes and cool girls for wives, but not FWBs or something. Their loyalty and devotion are highly admirable, but it often comes at the cost of extremely low self-esteem and "niceness." I'd never want my daughter to turn up that way, so I sure as shit wouldn't want their mother to be a role model for that dynamic.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/21 08:08 PM
9

It gets better. Up to 70% of what women find physically attractive in men can be attributed to upper body strength/fitness. Height only contributes 10% to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/21 08:04 PM
0

Maybe you're prone to the antapex fallacy. I'd reckon most people on reddit, especially PPD, are.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/21 07:49 PM
2

Obviously there's nothing wrong with good, healthy opposite sex parent child relationships. It's good you clarified that, because my favorite exes love their dads and had healthy relationships with them. Ever known anyone like that? Was it an issue for you, or were you okay with it? Yes in my various social circles, although I don't think I've ever dated one (if I did, it was too brief). The issue would've been learned helplessness, neediness, and entitlement all wrapped up into one. Mama's boys…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/21 07:47 PM
1

Being driven towards nothing (Nihilism) Being driven towards the Good. This is still either a false dichotomy or semantic word play and goal post shifting. If Peterson means anything other than “that which YOU personally define as ‘the Good’ (which can be fucking anything at all),” then he’s posing a false dichotomy. On the other hand, if he accepts that person A takes “the good” to mean “family and civic duty” but for person B “the good” means “personal ambition and success,” then it’s a valid …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/21 03:18 PM
4

Claire Dunphy from Modern Family. 10/10 type in terms of looks (my type) for me, I'd even choose her over Gloria. She's fiery, devoted to family, smart, but also imperfect and owns that. I'd marry the fuck out of a woman like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/21 01:06 AM
2

Depends on if she's wooey or not. It can be dicey even for women who believe in god or ghosts, let along crystals, magic, or astrology. Some women have private beliefs, I'm fine with that. But when it starts factoring into her decision making, or her interpretation of life events, it becomes a problem quickly. Case in point, something tragic happens (kid gets cancer), her response might be "This is happening for a reason, we should find it!" My response, on the other hand, would be "This is fuck…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/21 12:58 AM
3

Peterson creates a false dichotomy between Divine Command Theory and Moral Nihilism. Basically on his view there cannot be moral realism without a god (which is absolute bullshit). So in essence, in his view if there’s no god, or atheism is true, there’s nothing compelling you to act morally, so you’d expect there to be anarchy everywhere. But (“checkmate atheists!”) there isn’t anarchy, therefore god exists and atheists are just in denial. If he knew anything about utilitarianism or virtue ethi…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/21 10:45 PM
5

Having lived a portion of my life on both sides of the debate, I can tell you confidently that theists smugly and positively agree with that assertion. It's the kind of thing where they'll read CS Lewis's Mere Christianity and not miss the glaring logic holes all along the way.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/21 09:38 PM
4

That's proof enough for me that he's clueless. An Introduction to Ethics (even below 101) would've taught him otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/21 09:36 PM
1

I don't pay him much mind. But whenever someone links content of his relevant to a debate/discussion I'm having, I find his arguments bizarre and out-of-touch. So, no, not useful.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/21 09:35 PM
4

I find women accept friend-zoning much better though. For one, women don’t profess their feelings as often, so there’s far less often that awkward conversation. For another, if it comes to that, they tend to cut off ties entirely and make lots of space. Finally, I don’t think women have that “nice guy” mentality that often comes with men who get very upset at being friendzoned. So for all these reasons, while I may agree internally it may hurt just as much, we encounter it far less
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/21 08:09 PM
3

Also true. Y’know, my biggest revelation entering my 30s is that a lot of adults do not have their own best interest in mind... or don’t think through what they do nearly to the degree I thought they would.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 05:38 PM
3

That’s why I don’t engage or fight, I just dismiss. Maybe some interpret that as passive-aggro because I don’t stay to fight. But my attention is not something I need to sell anybody on. I let them have their lost opportunity.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 05:33 PM
2

Yeah I see that too. Or I see them befuddled why their friends get frustrated with them and put them at greater and greater distances.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 05:30 PM
3

But the biggest differences are matter of perception. We’re not “forced” to do anything whatsoever. If the only reason a person is doing anything is because they think they “have to” I sure as shit don’t want them spending time with me. I’m not a chore.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 05:29 PM
10

Yeah, and the thing is, I am hugely supportive of real self care. Being overwhelmed and taking mental health days. The difference is (a) I usually plan them so there’s no cancellations happening and (b) if they DO happen on the fly, I tell anyone I have plans with right away what’s up and offer an alternative meet up on a better day to show I’m sincere about seeing them. That’s what non self-involved, respectful people do. Using “self-care” as an excuse to self-soothe an unwillingness to confron…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 05:27 PM
1

Yep. The error is assuming everyone behaves rationally at all times and with foresight in mind. Many people really do just react momentarily, and they’re not great to be around.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 05:24 PM
2

It’s somewhere in the middle of this. I’ve definitely dated women who admitted they flake a lot because of insecurity and trepidation. I also have friends who tell me they do it because they’re boring and selfish people. We’ll never know the reason each person does it. To me, it doesn’t matter. Insecurity or selfishness, not interested in fixing or tolerating either if it’s that crippling.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 10:08 AM
16

What’s shocking is you know they can be reliable if they want to. Doctor appointments, court hearings, job start times, train stops, meetings... all on schedules. It’s not a foreign concept, but for some reason people get thick skulled and cloudy-eyed when they’re not accountable for their actions, and this culture of flakiness is what you get. No sympathy for it—they want to live suboptimal and selfish lives I say do it, it tells me quickly who to not respect or prioritize.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 10:05 AM
41

This is the answer. More selfishness and less accountability. Too easy to cancel plans without social pressure, and too many people take the low road and don’t treat others with respect. Counter point: if you’re a person who is respectful and reliable you win way more points in my book
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 09:59 AM
2

I'm saying I don't have an hour to spare to reply to a reddit comment of someone that's clearly trying really hard to close his eyes from reality. "I won't engage with the issues because the other guy is raising objections I don't like." Yeah, that makes total sense. Also, I couldn't give two fucks whether or not responsiveness is actually attractive, that's not how I date. I'm only interested in the actual facts, ironically the thing you claim to be interested in, yet inexplicably dismissive of…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/21 09:18 PM
17

Different kinds of intelligences imo. I prefer women high in social and interpersonal intelligence. I have many female friends and colleagues in STEM who are absolutely brilliant. But romantically, the vast majority do nothing for me, pretty or no. It has to do with conversation styles and what we enjoy talking about and how we see the world. I’d never for an instant say the women who get law degrees or doctorates in Philosophy of mind from top schools are any less intelligent than my fellow fem…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/21 04:33 PM
1

Nah, it's because the arguments devolve into multi page long posts over the minutiae of each study. The minutiae that matters because you don't read your own sources? Or worse, don't understand what they're actually saying? That's like complaining that you're getting railed for tax fraud because of the minutiae you failed to educate yourself on. It's part of your responsibility. Its inadequate by itself but a good one when taken along with the rest of the metrics. What "rest of the metrics?" My …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/21 10:49 AM
-1

Dude, you are just too tiring to argue with You ever stop to wonder if that's because you're banging your head against facts? You are hamstering away multiple studies all pointing in the same direction No bud, but feel free to fail for what has to be the fifth time to summarize what you think those studies are saying. To recap just a few of our fun highlights: number of children is a shitty measurement of sexual success (see: poor dumb Catholics), "being nice doesn't do anything for me" is not t…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/21 10:26 AM
5

The weirdest combo of macho-feminine I've ever seen on TV. Love him as a character foil though.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/21 09:28 AM
1

Haha yeah for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/21 10:08 PM
2

Yeah I’ve thought about building my own app too. But I wonder how much of the design is dictated by app creators or the masses and their behaviors
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/21 05:35 AM
2

Eh, it's alright. I learned some valuable lessons from being with her, not least of all that I can still love but that I should choose wisely who I open up to. The funniest thing? Her best friend met her now-husband on Tinder in what was supposed to be a ONS. But I think these are edge-case survivorship bias stories, not the norm. Of my friends now happily engaged or married, I can only think of a select few who met online. My sister had been online dating for idk 10years plus, but same story as…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/21 03:59 AM
2

Wow... Wait you dated her for 5 years and nothing came from it. She wasn't ready for a relationship after that long? No, arguably worse. I was single and dating for five years before I met someone like her that made me excited to commit. We dated for only five months but (I felt anyway) there was a lot of potential there. She just was very fresh out (like a few months) of a five-year long relationship that included engagement. Besides her, I don't have anything to show for with online dating bes…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/21 02:20 AM
1

Yup it's true. Pretty much how I feel. I think one of the best things about dating before, was the simple act of not actively "looking" for something. When you go online, you have a mindset and a particular goal and weed people out based on superficial data you gather that don't meet your ideals. Well-fucking-said. It creates a shopping mentality. Not only is that dehumanizing, it's counter-productive. I've come to learn no amount of photos, profile blurbs, or anything else can accurately predic…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/21 01:03 AM
2

Lately I've just wanted to say "fuck yourself" to the present dating landscape, and decide not to date at all if my only option is online. I'm not about to reduce my value as a partner down to the constraints of what apps or others think matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/21 11:29 PM
2

Yeah exactly. The frustration extends beyond myself too. It’s like one of those engineery/nerdy frustrations when people don’t behave logically. Human attraction can be very illogical, and I witness firsthand in others who fall for the wrong people. I just hoped that knowing this and knowing what was healthy could overcome that. But it can’t—that information is only good for knowing who not to commit to in spite of attraction and how to nurture existing attraction with the “right” person, should…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/21 06:47 PM
2

It's tough, because you're right, my pool is not the same, but in many ways it's better now than it was before, which is weird to say. Could I bag a 22yro now? Doubtful, but 28, 29.. is doable, and thanks to OLD I have access to way more options than when I was 22 (the dating landscape compared to 2004 is unrecognizable now). Yeah I wonder about that too. It's almost like I need to wait for time to downshift my options for me so that I can appreciate the ones I have more. And I reckon the downsh…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/21 10:30 PM
1

I just believe things like attraction have to malleable or else humanity would of died out centuries ago. I agree, but it's a function of environment and biology, not personal choice, no? Otherwise there'd be no gay people because "pray the gay away" camps would've been successful. But maybe we've hit a new point where, with this abundance of options, we are becoming detrimentally picky and this is slowly becoming an adapt or die scenario. I do wonder about that, but then I think, for me, it's a…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/21 08:46 PM
2

Your reality sounds like it's about to get very very fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/21 08:40 PM
1

Well here in Australia things are more or less the same in my experience. Actually, shit, there was an uptick in roofies at the night clubs because psycho cunts are that desperate and awful... but otherwise people have just been doing their usual.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/21 08:32 PM
1

how would you usually approach women and what are your tips for men who struggle in that particular department ? In real life? I'd just strike up conversation if it felt appropriate. I don't do cold approaches, so if it were a cafe or a long commute and she was reading something, I might ask her about it. It helps to look for body language cues about wanting to be approached. Many times in bars or at cafes I didn't have to do anything, we'd literally just bump into each other or strike up conver…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/21 08:11 PM
5

Exactly. Most of my non-physical requirements were, I think, pretty flexible in the right ways (e.g. "open minded and liked learning" rather than "well-traveled/top-tier degree"). It was more the physical stuff. I figured as long as she checked all the physical boxes of what I want and met the personality criteria, that'd be it. But it wasn't. I suspect in part because we can never fully know what personalities make us feel chemistry, and also in part because we can only look at history to infor…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/21 08:07 PM
2

Yeah you sound a lot like me. I'm reminded of a time when I crossed paths with someone who looked almost nothing like what my "perfect partner" would've been described as, but she still wildly captured my attention. I have no idea why. And I often wonder if I'd seen her photos online, if she'd even have had the same effect on me. So I agree with you, I'm done trying to force things or prescribe things or define things, I'm just going in open-minded, and probably jaded that things will improve, t…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/21 08:02 PM
2

Online dating is horrendous and does a number to mental health - especially those who strive off attention from others. Yeah the longer I've been away from it, the more shocked I've become that I tolerated so much shit on apps. It grinds you down and you end up compromising left and right without even realizing it. Not thinking of them of "too short, too fat, ugly, don't make enough, not smart enough" just hanging out with a group, getting to know eachother for a while, then slowly starting to t…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/21 08:00 PM
2

If you feel like you're not hitting your looks threshold consistently, it's time to adjust that threshold and I believe that is a choice. Let's put it this way, in the rare instances I cross paths with and interact with women who do meet that threshold, I do quite well. But online, it's a shit-show and a half. And what happened to me was that I'd get so fed up with the flaky and validation seeking behaviors online, that I'd subconsciously flex and lower the threshold—I made that choice. The end …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/21 07:57 PM
3

A long checklist of qualities I thought would optimize my relationship. Some of them physical. Many of them were already open-minded. And maybe the list was right, but just incomplete. Whatever the reason, the real thing I'm looking for is that deeper connection alongside the necessary elements (shared life goals, shared values, stability). The subtle change means going forward I'll probably pursue women without that checklist in mind, but first and foremost to see if there's any real chemistry,…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/21 07:50 PM
1

Online is horrible. My self esteem was crushed and it was a very frustrating experience. Often it would grind me down until I’d compromise on what I know I wanted, just so I could get dates. That led to many heartbreaks and I’d feel guilty. When I would occasionally (I don’t do bars or clubs) go to the bar or interact with women in the real world, I had to unlearn skepticism that many of them were actually very keen. Women often and regularly approach me (in their own way) but it felt unreal. Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/21 07:43 PM
3

Red pill often likes to invent words for things most/some humans do/experience and pin them on women exclusively. It’s not that they’re necessarily wrong, they just take it and run to the point that it’s goofy and fail to see the same behavior in themselves, if that makes any sense. Exactly. This whole "alpha widow" bullshit has existed for all of time, and at least as far back as Wuthering Heights (for an example of OP's Alpha Widower).
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/21 06:38 AM
1

It's just shallowness... looks fade, if that's what gives you your "spark", then enjoy circling the drain while Green Day plays on repeat You say this as if attraction is a choice though. I go through moments of deep guilt and frustration that I can't feel anything for relatively attractive women who, personality-wise, are just stunners in every way. It becomes a point of psychological distress because I know what I'm giving up, but also being with them in a relationship feels equally distressin…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/21 06:34 AM
12

Well considering I just met, and then rejected, someone who was "perfect" on paper for me, I've come to find that we don't have a fucking clue what would make someone "perfect" for us. So my answer is going to be way more generalized than it used to: Someone I "flow" with, where I feel physical, emotional, and intellectual chemistry. Historically that has meant: very nice face, lean/slender/fit, well-groomed. But I suspect there's unknown mannerisms, personality traits, etc. that pull me in to h…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/21 06:23 AM
4

I’m becoming more and more concerned that actually, men face alpha-widowism just as much as women and it’s just not as talked about. I’m personally quite concerned that finding a woman I’m “crazy about” has frankly gone and I’m just going to have to settle for a nice enough girl I sort of “quite like” It'll come back. My first partner I was crazy about, and I was with her for ten years. She was insanely hot. One thing I noticed, though, was after enough time, I could look at her photos and feel …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/21 06:15 AM
5

but ppd says short men are incapable of being in the top 20% or of being considered very attractive by many, so idk if he qualifies by their standards... we’re often told we’re a beautiful small couple, because we’re both short lol I think that helps. Although I'll also say many of the women who were the most into me and I ended up rejecting were attractive and close to my height—if not even an inch taller—so I do think PPD over-exaggerates the significance of male height. Then again, I know it …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/21 05:49 AM
5

Attractiveness is relative to people you're trying to attract. And as I said, the problem is redditors who come here use Tinder—and nothing else—to establish this. Which is a fool's errand since it's not representative of who you can attract in reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 11:33 PM
3

No, see my sources. The average BMI for men and women in younger demographics is around 26, which is close to where I tried to pin these photos. It only gets fatter from there.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 11:32 PM
3

The gender skew comes from the fact that women can afford to be picky on Tinder. There's 3:1 men:women at minimum. All else being equal, that means a woman can choose a hot man with a degree over just the hot man.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 11:31 PM
1

Yeah for the longest time the only fat people I knew were in my extended family or the occasional office mate/school mate back when I was in school. I suspect that, like many other dimensions discussed in PPD, this comes down to the social circles we run and people we regularly encounter due to socioeconomics, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 06:57 PM
1

I've browsed the sources but not found that specific part - not that I disbelieve you. Source 2 has infographics you can play with that include a BMI, weight, self-confidence, and visual all side-by-side to compare for both men and women. Crazy. I was at the park when I read this and everyone was about my size with a few sizes smaller and bigger (my body is 39-31-40). Damn that's insane. I don't remember seeing that many people so heavyset when I studied abroad in the UK. But then I was at an af…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 06:30 PM
2

this is why semantics matter, Universal is not the same as Public. I'm arguing public system which is also universal, In other words, a universal health care system. but a universal system can be private hence the problems in the US It can only be universal and private if it doesn't include financial hardship.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 06:27 PM
2

Rights as in prerogatives come from the human nature, because we are humans living in society we have the right, the prerogative to certain minimal and optimal condition to develop... Yes and most developed countries recognize that this includes a sense of fairness and universal healthcare. nobody cares your body works different and bleeds once a month, Do you know any women, like at all? There's where more to feminine care than bleeding, even if we're just talking about periods. Semantics are i…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 06:05 PM
2

Check out source 1 and 2, they take average BMI at various ages. Weight and BMI are (I believe) normally distributed without skew so the average converges on the median.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 05:34 PM
3

Yeah maybe a little. On the other hand BMI is a shit scale because it’s proportional to height, but mass and flesh density don’t scale with linear dimension, they’re volumetric, so a tall man at the same BMI won’t even look the same even as a shorter man even though it controls doe height. Open to alternative photos for suggestion though.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 05:32 PM
4

No I searched for “average man” and “average woman” and found some that represented. The sources outline what the average BMI is for men and women so I also made sure to find photos of people at roughly a BMI of 26.5. Women will look thinner at a BMI because they have natural body fat (like breasts) which contribute to their shape. It’s like how a guy at 13% body fat is athletic while a women at that level is simply dead. As for cosmetics or whatever, I don’t give a fuck that you lack imaginatio…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 05:29 PM
1

Haha yeah a lot of redditors also err the wrong way because they use online dating success as their validation metric. I sincerely believed I was just “average” or “slightly above average” for a very long time thanks to online dating
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 05:24 PM
2

Yeah, but that's the average relevant to you as it'll be mostly what you're working with. True. I'm just trying to be objective on a more holistic level. Living in a bubble can color our perception of things.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 10:47 AM
2

Is that the US's average? That's so fat. Yeah check out my "source 2" in the first comment. It does a whole breakdown.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 10:43 AM
2

Weirdly enough, while that's good competition is taking itself out, I find that sad. It's frustrating because you now see how simple it is to improve, and how little people do to make that a reality. Well, tbh, my idea of average is what I pass by in the street and don't notice. Yeah that's not a good idea though. I grew up in Southern California and now live in an affluent beach town in Australia. What I see "on the street" has never looked like "average."
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 10:28 AM
1

I do feel she's overall more attractive though Nah neither do anything for me. The makeup and airbrushed photo helps her out but that just goes to show how much grooming can help. (and the man being fat doesn't help) Yeah I tried to find someone who matched what the average BMI of a man under 35 was.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 10:26 AM
6

The girl has skincare and some very light makeup going on. Men as a whole really should start doing the matter (am man). They absolutely should. I say all the time that a significant amount of looks comes down to fitness and grooming. If that truly fit the description, yeah I'm not surprised women don't go for that. But then again, being heterosexual I can only judge on aesthetics. Plenty of women go for that. Most guys who look like that just don't frequent reddit. The ones who do have a chip o…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 10:09 AM
4

Nah she's a little more attractive, but I'm a straight male so I'm sure that gives her a boost to me. But ultimately I wouldn't be into either of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 10:08 AM
4

I think they do all the time, if you search "average couple" you'll see similar pairings. And studies say nearly everyone marries someone within 1-2 points of their own attractiveness. It's just online dating has skewed gender balances and behaviors.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 09:59 AM
12

Average man: This guy. Average woman: I don't know, something like this? Source inspiration. Source 2
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 09:40 AM
5

I do remember one time I was trying to buy a moleskin journal and this beautiful brunette came in. I overheard her talking to the shop clerk. She had a yoga mat and was explaining she was just visiting since she was on travel for singing in the Melbourne Opera (too bad she lived far away). If it weren’t for distance and me being raw from a recent breakup, that would’ve been a great meeting chance. So you’re onto something there I think.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 09:12 AM
6

I haven't dared touched night clubs even though I know I'd fare well there. They make me sad just thinking about them. Trying my luck at this whole "meeting organically" thing since online dating has been a dumpster fire experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 07:17 AM
2

Which guy would you rather be? Guy 2 without a hesitation, who's almost me anyway. I didn't start dating until I was 25 (after a ten-year LTR). Being educated with disposable income... you learn the ropes of dating fast, and lead an interesting life in the interim. Now I'm 30, have done a bit of the casual dating, looking for the LTR, but my life is full of interesting shit in the meantime. I live on the beach, I play volleyball for fun, I date when I want, I play music, I travel, I stay fit, I …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 06:56 AM
17

The whole "captain" thing is the biggest fucking giveaway.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 06:47 AM
2

So if you are still chosing average man as your preference does that mean you see them as being more content than women and if so is that mostly because of sexual assault risk or other reasons? Yeah pretty much. Better take-home pay, more safety overall, equal satisfaction, and minimal difference in life expectancy. Plus I'll probably marry an average woman, which statistically improves my own life quality.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 06:45 AM
7

While this is interesting to look at, it's crucial that we don't use this to extrapolate. Even the authors themselves acknowledge this is specifically limited to the microcosm of Tinder. We can't ignore a glaring issue: demographics and mate selection opportunities are going to affect behavior (the authors acknowledge this impact). On an app like Tinder, where men out number women at least 3:1, that's going to proliferate in meaningful ways for match selection.1 Many other studies show that sign…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 06:16 AM
3

Yep, I use Tinder. Most single men in my social and work circles hop on Tinder too. We're all highly educated.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 05:58 AM
3

Also if we all became fit wouldn't that just be the new average? In regards to looks/dating I wonder ... Sure. But would that be terrible? I don't think we're hardwired to be relativistic with attraction. That is, put me in a room full of Victoria Secret models and I'm not going to suddenly start complaining about where all the good women went. I'm sure our standards would change some, but if looks were out of the equation because we all met some minimum threshold, it might mean we be pickier ab…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 04:01 AM
2

I don't think we as individuals have much control over either our genetics or our upbringing. I agree, but I also wonder how much of "averageness" as we understand it is due to our choices. For example, the average BMI is "overweight." That's almost definitely a choice. The average person doesn't invest a lot in appearances, or focus on self-improvement, etc. That's what makes them fall back into the world of "average." And while looks certainly have genetic elements, I'm also a believer that pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 02:58 AM
2

These objections seek for privileges because you live in a private health system country hence it's ridiculous you want only privileges for yourself and make others pay for your things while also paying for theirs. Rights are just privileges we assign to everyone. She's asking for a "privilege" to be upgraded to a right. No different than the right to pursuit of happiness or land ownership or right to bear arms. There isn't some magic code written in the stars that tells us what's a "right" and …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 02:19 AM
2

I would rather be an average woman over an average man. How much of "average" comes from nature vs. nurture, in your view? I think crawling out of "average" is pretty easy for both genders. So it stands to reason I'd still choose average man over average woman, since I know I'd have the grit to give a shit and rise above it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 02:17 AM
3

This is going to sound so pedantic but I suspect it comes down to how it's phrased. "I generally date/find myself attracted to X" doesn't cause friction the same as "I like X." For instance, if I said "I generally find myself attracted to skinny women," it's still going to be upsetting for some to hear, but the underlying message is "I follow wherever my heart takes me. So far it's been there, but I'm open to anything. Maybe it's a hard-trend, maybe not, but I make no judgment on it." Compare th…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 01:25 AM
5

I think it's because you called it "incredible." It isn't really that incredible. Most media, outside of reality TV, touches on philosophical ideas and human nature. That's what makes it mass producible in the first place. Let's agree that most anime isn't braindead fantasy cartoons (even DBZ), but let's also agree that it isn't some higher-order artistic expression above most other consumable media.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 01:16 AM
6

Normie complaints: Online dating truly sucks. For most men, they get very few matches. For men overall, the matches are usually a "compromise" of what they want. For even average women, they drown in a sea of matches. For women overall, sifting through these matches to find a "quality" match is hard to do with the limited and "game-like" nature of app profiles. We're all our own worst enemy with online dating. Flaking and ghosting are real, and shitty behaviors. We're all better off if we can vo…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 12:52 AM
2

Eh, how so? It feels good to say, but I don't think it's true. Well you can say one of two things, but both lead to the same conclusion. Either: Women don't have bargaining power with casual sex. In which case, I agree men don't have bargaining power with relationships because nobody has bargaining power after all. OR Women do have bargaining power with casual sex. In which case, that "bargaining power" is effectively lost once a man already sleeps with her, unless she provides reasons (which do…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 05:41 AM
3

Asking out a platonic friend would be a disaster in most cases Totally. There are, in rare cases I've witnessed, a situation where a platonic friend confesses feelings and it works. But even here it was a case where one friend was moving across hemispheres and he confessed it as a Hail Mary. In any other situation, it has to just develop naturally or be there by default. Any friendship formed outside these bounds will be messy.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 05:16 AM
9

But my question is when In life do/ did you decide that you don’t what to sleep around anymore and you want to find a stable life partner? Aside from a few moments when I'd given up searching entirely because of frustration, I've always wanted a LTR. An add on question is how many people do/did you plan to sleep with until you are ready for commitment? I was prepared to sleep with only 1. But life happens and finding someone to commit to is messy/complicated, so now my N is much higher. Ideally,…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 02:54 AM
3

Yeah I think it's only really advisable if you don't feel strong attraction right away. Or if one of you isn't single. Or you meet through a mutual friend, hang out for a short time but quickly escalate into more.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 02:45 AM
3

So this isn't so cut-and-dry. There are definitely "friends" who lead others on for the attention. Absolutely. But most people, when caught up in romantic feelings, misread friendliness for something more. That happens whether it's dating or friendship. It's dishonest to lead the friend on, whether it's the person with the feelings hiding that but expecting more, or the person without feelings leading the one with feelings on. That said, I think the "accidental" lead on is way more common.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 02:42 AM
3

So what makes it happen is just mutual attraction? Mutual attraction, but specifically mutual romantic attraction—not just sexual. Those women clearly are your "friends" because of the way you look. What do you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 02:36 AM
0

Edgy and brave.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 02:25 AM
13

It's a good question, because I have many opposite-sex friends, many of whom are attractive, but—to paraphrase Daniel Sloss—"seeing each other naked would make me sad." It's strictly platonic. In fact, there's many women I started dating romantically that fell backwards into "friends" instead because I didn't have that feeling. I think with the "friends first" story, the underlying attraction was always there. That is, if they'd met on an app, they'd have happily started dating, too. So there's …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 02:24 AM
1

Attractive man who women flock too and treat like a king things women act like that around everyone. ... Are you having a stroke? I'm so shocked at the lack of awareness What you were (trying to) refer to implies the opposite of what I was actually arguing with regards to attachment style. So.. maybe take a beat and consider which of us in being unaware.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 12:59 AM
2

Are you implying that men and women are equal on the dating scene? No, that would be obtuse and overly simplistic. There's many men and many women of wildly different types and appeals. For casual sex, women generally have more bargaining power, for relationships, men generally have more bargaining power... except in the outlier cases of very attractive individuals, who have enough bargaining power to get more of what they want (men: casual sex, women: committed relationships). So somewhere in t…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 12:56 AM
2

Nah it's more like they have more bargaining power over their less-attractive opposite-sex mates, but probably on-balance bargaining power for their equals.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 12:30 AM
0

Yes. It's almost like there's a balance, and enough humans for both categories of people to get what they want when they want it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 12:12 AM
5

Thank you sir 😎
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/21 11:38 PM
2

If they want casual sex? Yeah. Both women and men use this dynamic in casual sex exchanges.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/21 09:28 PM
1

Irrelevant. The data already bears out that, no matter the number, attractive women get what they want, which means they also have bargaining power.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/21 09:27 PM
2

Yep even the summary says this. (paraphrase) "Very attractive men have more advantages than average/below average men have disadvantages."
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/21 07:47 PM
5

Chad does whatever the fuck he wants, when he wants. Are you reading the same study I am? Very physically attractive women also call the shots in relationships. An attractive man, if he wants a very attractive woman, cannot do "whatever the fuck he wants."
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/21 07:45 PM
3

Until I believe you can comprehend what I've been writing. ..... oof, buddy...
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/21 07:35 PM
3

I'll let you know once you stop poorly mind-reading and I believe you can comprehend what I've been writing.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/21 07:19 PM
3

We all have biases that can lead us to beliefs or movements that confirm them. Racists are still misinformed racists even if they haven’t learned about the KKK yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/21 01:39 PM
4

What’s weird about that? Homeopaths and religious nut jobs were likely goofballs long before they learned about their kinks, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/21 12:53 PM
2

Use your common sense, what do you think real life is? "Common sense" is often a frail plea to just accept what you want to believe without seeing it cuts both ways. I need more than your notion of "common sense." "Real life" is not curated apps with ridiculous gender imbalances. Not a place where if I'm having a conversation with a woman, she can vanish and talk to other men at the same time (I'll walk away from that), or watch TV or be pooping at the same time. If you make a profile picture on…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/21 09:49 PM
2

i'd never pursue or accept anyone unless i was concrete in attraction and liking and knew they felt the exact same way. I'm learning I have to do that too. I've spent many a year dating women I was lukewarm about, hoping that attraction would just "develop with time." I have no idea what the fuck certain dating coaches mean by sparks developing with time, but it's never happened with me. Similarly, I've tolerated suboptimal treatment from others, I'm learning not to do that anymore either.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/21 09:44 PM
0

but, platonic can develop into romantic/sexual again, because i need to like the person for me to see them in a different light. Interesting. Mine tends to be strictly uphill or downhill without any room in between. If I'm attracted to someone, their personality will push it entirely uphill or entirely downhill quickly. I feel like i see a lot of attractive women (such as among my friends) genuinely attracted to men i'd consider, simply looks wise, average or even below average, or maybe just no…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/21 08:30 PM
4

So if we really looking at the patterns, which criteria really has a minimum threshold that needs to be passed, the looks or the personality ? Want to know something really weird? Attractive people actually find fewer people attractive. And less physically attractive people find more people physically attractive. That might sound intuitive to you, it might not. If you believe that everyone sees looks the same, then you might believe (incorrectly) that attractive people are just being shallow and…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/21 07:44 PM
2

So unless you have a lot going for you. They won't even consider meeting up. Even then, if they're on there for validation the insecurity of being "found out" or met in person and rejected will prevent them from meeting in-person.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/21 07:38 PM
2

It's real life if you manage to go somewhere where one woman has ten to twenty men simultaneously trying to talk to her at once, and she has no other information than looks and basic demographics. Try to not be more picky in a situation like that. This is why it's stupid when people say OLD is not real life, it is, It's the stupidest thing you can say.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/21 07:38 PM
4

This is not my whole understanding of being pro-choice. I deliberately specified "due to bodily autonomy" in my title to narrow the discussion down to one thing alone so as to not have to address the two points you list on top of everything else Ok but in the context of pro-choice, bodily autonomy is largely concerned with the debate of "person vs. fetus" not "person vs. person." Medical emergency necessitates the legality of abortion in later stages of development. So it's not just a simple bla…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/21 10:48 AM
4

The top pro-choice argument I encounter is: no one is obligated to sacrifice biological resources for another person, even if it means the death of that other person. Yeah the entirety of your argument is a non-starter if this is your understanding of being pro-choice. Point 1 of being pro-choice is that a fetus is not yet a "person," and that abortion should only be admissible in later stages when it becomes "person vs. person" (ie., life-risking situations). Point 2 of pro-choice is that nobod…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/21 09:45 AM
2

Yep definitely. Keep at it though, it gets easier. And female friends are great when you have good ones
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/21 09:48 PM
16

Well the entirety of this stupid theory came out of online behaviors, wherein 20% of the men were getting the lion's share of attention on apps from women. By definition that makes them the "top 20%." However, your underlying argument is more right than wrong. Myriad factors affect who is approached or connected with in reality. Using online behavior to begin with is the reason the theory is wrong. Furthermore, if preferences are 50% objective and 50% subjective, then you might suspect to see so…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/21 06:30 PM
5

You can even be friends with someone you’ve slept with and gotten emotionally attached to, but it requires both people be mature and you take the space you need.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/21 06:14 PM
17

I love girly girls, the very feminine types. Ones who have brains but act a little ditsy—I guess "bubbly and silly" is a better term, the women I've adored all had multiple masters degrees so it wasn't like they actually didn't have their wits about them. Gorgeous face, fit body, big heart, likes exploring/travel, family-oriented, responsible and reliable, physically and verbally affectionate, has emotional depth and self-awareness.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/21 05:22 AM
3

This is too one-dimensional of a question. Sexual arousal is inspired by both generalized sex drive as well as focused (romantic) attractions. If you are not attracted to her at all, will just being so close to her cause you to get an erection? Sometimes. But also, physical arousal isn't the same as desire. That's why you can have rapists (male or female) who use your physical response as a sign that you "actually want more." It's got nothing to do with their attractiveness or lack thereof, if t…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/21 05:19 AM
3

What are your takes on them? They're a good idea. A chance to get a more well-rounded view of the world and set of perspectives. Both platonic on non-platnoic? Platonic absolutely. Non-platonic.... as in, your partner should also be your friend? You should at least like your romantic partner. So "yes" to both. It was platonic with us, but we could have hooked up if we wanted to but I wasn't feeling it. When she got in a relationship and she fell off the map. Then she only would message me when s…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/21 05:15 AM
13

This is so stupid. Many of the hottest women I've dated loved that I have empathy. The correct statement is "You basically need to be a psychopath to actually close with unstable women." And, as it happens, many unstable women put lots of effort into their own looks for various reasons. But don't confuse the two. Hotness does not make someone prefer stability and love more or less. For modern women sincerely asking 'how was your day?', seems to be too personal - it will get you nowhere sexually/…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/21 08:21 PM
5

Had to triple check I was still on PPD. Here's a voice of reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/21 11:52 PM
6

Sure, muh love and muh social status and all that Those are not trivial things. If I manage to meet someone I truly love, of course I'd want to lock her down for life. And with it comes dual income, family, stability, shared goals, etc. Those are big things. what practical reasons should a man risk half of his future earnings when there's a 50% chance that his marriage will end in divorce, There are none, unless you're fearful or needy and just want someone to take care of you emotionally/financ…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/21 11:50 PM
3

Even in third world countries more men are in jail, drafted into military, working dangerous jobs, killed at higher rates and commit suicide more. "[W]e can explain the various troubles each sex faces till the cows come home." "This is what I mean about cherry picking facts to fit the narrative without looking at everything in aggregate." You recognize these two things, yet continue cherry-picking without answering a very clear-cut way to sift through the bullshit. Show me the real distributions…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/21 09:07 AM
2

If you don't disagree with this then there's not much more to say. Then plan on accepting my challenge, because I disagree. Of course there's more to say. Take 100 people. Say there's 20 at the "bottom" (score of 1) and 5 at the top (score of 10). We still have to look at the distribution of the remaining 75% of people. Maybe for men it's that most fall in the 5-7 range while for women it's 3-6. That's why cherry-picking numbers doesn't mean anything to me. Men's lives are much more varied, they…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/21 08:34 AM
2

Tell you what, I’ll extend you an offer to show you I’m trying to look at this objectively. If you can itemize all the pros and cons of being a man and a woman, both on average and at the extremes, and then make the case that men also have it worse overall, I’ll give you the point. But you have to list them all, and make a good case.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/21 08:01 AM
4

And the very top of society is also filled by men. This is what I mean about cherry picking facts to fit the narrative without looking at everything in aggregate. I’d never choose to be born as a woman. If I weren’t lucky enough to live in a western country and above the poverty line, I’d be fucked. And if I managed both of those, unless I were born beautiful and wealthy, statistically I’d still have my share of troubles.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/21 06:53 AM
2

It surely this cuts both ways. Women can only enforce their standards as long as someone is willing to buy them. If no man can meet her standards who also wants to date her, she’s confronted with either: being alone, improving herself, or lowering her standards. I think a lot of the “buying power” redditors claim women have comes from a false marketplace made online, without considering whether these women actually meet the men they match with. Whether this leads to them getting what they want, …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/21 05:48 AM
1

None of that can exist if people don’t get married.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/21 05:45 AM
1

Men are jailed more because they commit more violent crimes. Women are raped more and sent into sex trafficking more. There’s no point trying to make a pissing contest of the suffering, I’ve itemized them already. I’m aware of the challenges both genders face, which is why I have a very level-handed admission that men and women suffer. All the same, on balance of all the facts, I stand by my belief that women have it a bit worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/21 05:43 AM
1

No crime or sexism yeah. That’s why I don’t propose any solution. Some of these problems are systemic.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/21 05:41 AM
4

Do you believe men and women do not share equal status today? No. There are places where men are disenfranchised, and places where women are disenfranchised, but on the whole and in aggregate, women still have it a bit worse. If no, what does a world where the genders are equal look like to you? To list just a few differences: Less negative stereotyping and biasing for women who want to work in the sciences. A world where women and men could feel equally safe at night walking home alone, or thro…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/21 05:46 AM
3

‘Vent spaces’ full of disagreeable people all end up going in that direction. Right? And it often sounds almost fantastical. I'm sure their experiences are real, but things are so much more vanilla in the UMC world (I also say this having lived well outside the borders of UMC before). None of us are ‘Chad’ and, in fact, many are ethnic minorities (apparently a death sentence) and yet we all easily satisfy the apparently extreme standards set by most FDS women. Yeah excellent point I failed to me…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/21 05:38 AM
2

True but the way I see it is these people don't really know what's good for them. I would rather be us- single and content, than them - alone even when in a relationship (which imo is probably the worst feeling in the world, your partner should be your person) Yeah I remember the first episode of Suits Harvey is interviewing Mike and he says "You know how I know you're smart? It's not because you think everyone else is an idiot. It's because you mistakenly assume everyone is as smart as you are.…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/21 05:32 AM
1

Since /u/ChibsFilipTelfordd snuck in even as a "not bottom 80%" guy, I'm going to also (blue pill). A) Have you experienced any of the following during childhood? Literally all of the above. Dad went to jail a few times for stealing cough medicine—I'll let you fill in the blanks from there. No federal penitentiary shit as far as I can remember, but then that would've been a secret anyway. I'll throw in "homeless parent" just to balance the scales. B) Have you experienced any of the following in …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/21 10:08 AM
2

I feel like people get FOMO from not being in a relationship while everyone else seems to be, and they rush into one just for the sake of being in one. Yeah exactly. But in a really twisted way, I'm almost a little envious of that. To be so driven by fear or discomfort that simply having a partner puts you more at ease. I'm not saying they have a good relationship (by my standards), but logically they must think it's better than all alternatives. Yeah I think chemistry has to come first, but the…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/21 09:51 AM
2

It may not seem that way online but in real life I'm always the glass half full guy. In just about all other things, I am too. This has just ground me down to powder I think. I'll just tell you straight up, I think you're forcing things right now. With OLD you are forcing yourself to like women who you don't actually like, not on the level of "I wanna marry this girl" Yep, I think you're right. And I need to stop doing that. I thought maybe in the past I was not being patient or waiting long eno…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/21 04:09 AM
3

I mean I see why incel communities will never actually get banned (except on private platforms like reddit) because of freedom of speech. Who gets to decide which groups are to be censored? Right that's the rub with limiting free speech. Other countries have managed to find "reasonable" lines (e.g. anti-semitic sentiments, etc.), but even so it's hard to be sure what's right and make sure you're always on the right side of it. Inceldom is probably never going to be radical enough to be censored,…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/21 03:24 AM
2

I guess I am wondering what guys are hoping to accomplish by using sjw privilege discourse when talking about dating. Frustration. They want things to be easier and feel like vocalizing the systematic challenges will help women appreciate their own privilege and dial down their own complaints. Hope women start acknowledging or self flagellating over their unearned privilege or something? Or is the constant privilege talk just a way to get leftists to sympathize with your cause so they will advoc…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/21 12:13 AM
3

Would have never even thought to go to books like Models I remember when I wanted dating I literally just googled "Best books about dating" and realized Manson had written it (since I loved Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck). Great book though. Fairly anti-TRP if I'm being blunt. I think that incel communities should just be banned from the internet altogether I agree. Free speech is a failed experiment in some respects. When we came up with that idea, we didn't have information proliferation like…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/21 12:06 AM
3

How did you learn to seduce women and get them to give up the sexy time? I literally just existed and dated like a regular person. There was no "giving up" either jfc. Two willing and consensual adults with no coercion or game-playing. What was your education before discovering red pill? I read Models by Mark Manson, but that was long after already having sex with women I dated. I just wanted to improve further. I’m extra curious to learn if your parents spoke to you about how to get casual sex …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/21 12:03 AM
3

I don’t really care what they have to say about women because from interacting with women irl I know its mostly bullshit, but I’m focused on self improvement and I agree with what they say is attractive to women (looks, frame, game/charm) Yeah man to be honest you can get all that info without the related bullshit from Models (Manson) and What Women Want (Tucker Max). That's where I learned the fundamentals. I’m sure they have solid vetting strategies as well, but the misandry clouds their core …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 11:48 PM
2

I believe it for you Bacon! It’s really all about timing. Someone on the weekly megathread said that you meet 3-5 people you can truly have a great long term relationship with. Now if you’re a shut in, that number is probably lower, and if you’re out and active that number is probably higher. I appreciate the optimism. But my big "aha" so far having just turned 30 is that nobody has a fucking clue what works or doesn't when it comes to love. Sexual attraction? Sure, and relationship maintenance,…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 10:49 PM
2

For example men definitely pull their own weight in the relationships Ive seen, none of these relationships are toxic or anything like FDS describes. Yeah exactly. And of my friends who complain about men like this, they are usually the ones who date tradesmen and construction workers more readily. I suspect that factors in. One big thing is that you tend to attract people similar to yourself. If you’re a toxic person, that’s who you will attract. So its kinda a circle of misery here. I'd get a …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 10:40 PM
4

Also this is the reason I rarely interact with the type of women trp describes. The women I date are nothing like that. Probably just vastly different demographics Very true. In fact FDS was an eye opener to me because most women I know, while dissatisfied with the men they date, never complain about this shitty treatment you see on FDS. Which isn't to say it doesn't happen or doesn't exist in UMC bubbles, but I reckon it's rarer.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 09:44 PM
2

As long as you’re living the good life, a great woman will come along eventually. I truly believe that. I wish I had your optimism. It would make this period of my life much more enjoyable if true. Or, if not true, then I'd not give a damn anyway. You gotta love yourself before anyone else can love you I think if I loved myself any more I'd be a full-blown narcissist too haha. But this is a fact. Otherwise you settle for people who aren't right for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 09:38 PM
3

Reddit is full of outsiders and niche alt people. The entire site was built around the idea of small communities coming together to share a passion that's otherwise sparse where they live. It leads to some very strange ideas in places like PPD where nobody really has a comprehension of what "normal" or "average" is.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 09:26 PM
2

Yeah all you have to do is pull up a celebrity's public facebook page and start sifting through the comments and likes and you'll get an idea real quick of what "average" globally looks like.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 09:25 PM
3

For me, my neuroticism actually plays a role in this. I look at love from a calculated view as if its some equation. And I also over analyze and over think everything. Ok interesting. So my theory is definitely bunk then. I score basically 0 on the Big Five for neuroticism. But I know what I expect true love to feel like and perhaps I just haven’t felt that yet so I try to make sense of love by ‘calculating’ it. Yeah mate that's really it. Wish I felt it more often, would make my life way fuckin…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 09:15 PM
1

Yeah true. Well, more like it turns into either a gentle Sunday stroll I don't want to invest in or a kamikaze dive bomb. When attraction does hit, it's so rare and intense for me I don't know what to do with it; I juggle it like dry ice in bare hands. And if it doesn't work out the pain is very real too. But, for better or worse, that happens quite rarely. I don't know which I'd prefer.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 06:41 PM
2

Have you considered that deep down you don't actually want a relationship? And that you're making excuses to not settle down with someone seriously? Yeah I've thought long and hard about this one, but I've been in a "settle down" relationship before and absolutely loved it. It just had to be right. I know I feel pang and longing when I see my friends who are in good relationships. I suppose a better answer is I don't want a relationship, but I want a quality relationship for sure. That requires:…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 06:36 PM
3

I think this is exaggerated. Either the men get more options than suggested (most people polled in Pew Research say they get dates and are overall satisfied with online dating), or the women get less quality attention than you think. Like lots of guys are really, really bad at dating, according to my friends anyway. I’ll meet you half way and say that possibly one of your alterations is true, but definitely not both simultaneously.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 06:21 PM
1

Some prime grade bad PPD economics right here. Is what was meant by "free" just “doesn’t cost literal money?” Because if so, I have good news for you: you can get sex for free.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 06:17 PM
2

Not to pat my own back but I score very low on neuroticism. I can deal with stressful situations quite well. And, incidentally, I almost never feel like I fall in love, even in situations I think others would. It has me wondering
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 06:16 PM
5

So.. was there something about them that you just couldn't get past I just felt unhappy with them. They were lovely company and great friendship material, but committed romantic relationship just didn't fit. Over time I just felt increasingly trapped and dissatisfied, so I cut them loose because I knew they deserved someone who could adore them for the qualities they have. Maybe who you are as a person didn't line up with them so you couldn't feel anything for them in the way that you might want…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 08:43 AM
3

Also that study about how being together on a rickety swaying bridge This has me wondering... are more level-headed and less neurotic people therefore less capable of falling in love? Does mood regulation mean they feel attraction less often?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 08:04 AM
6

I'm going to present a wild theory of my own here, which is that people are capable of developing feelings/"love"/attraction for just about anyone, but what holds people back is their willingness to do so. Nope. I'm living, breathing proof of that. I have: Wanted to be in a LTR for almost five years Dated over 100 women in that time (most, probably 95+%, of them definitely attractive) Agonized over the ones I've dumped (nearly all of them) because I simply couldn't make myself like them more. By…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 08:03 AM
9

Reddit is far from capable of housing "average" people in large quantities. Average people hang more on IG and FB.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 07:47 AM
22

I'll take a stab at it. Average man (unmarried): Normal job (white collar lite or reasonably paid blue collar) A couple of decent guy friends, maybe some female friends too Regular pub/bar attendance Likes sports, television Has a steady or dating on-and-off. Maybe uses apps. Finds them mostly too much work. Maybe an outdoor hobby, works out a few times a month Regular diet Lives close to where he grew up Overweight Average woman (unmarried): Regular job (white collar lite or service/beautician)…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 07:47 AM
2

Sounds like they thought it was like some weird hentai spot or something
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 07:04 AM
3

Haha it’s like wanting more public services while also not wanting to pay taxes. Can’t have it both ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 06:50 AM
2

The g-spot is part of the clitoris mate. The clit is way more than just the hooded button on the outside.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/21 11:56 PM
13

"Making her cum is gay and beta. Don't do it bros. Don't be that simp."
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/21 07:31 PM
3

Because what works is not caring about women and practicing seducing them to the point where they are replaceable If that works for you then congratulations for managing to find a way to be mediocre your whole life. I prefer having fun and showing ladies a fun/exciting time; you do you. Granted, you may want to do these things if you perceive someone to be a viable long term partner Nope I give my casual partners a good time too, because it's fun and I enjoy the experience. You sound bitter and …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/21 07:26 PM
3

It’s not arbitrary. Most like many of the same things: sensual touching, kissing, “hot spots” like the inner thighs, lower back, neck, ears. And if it were arbitrary, getting different women would be the exact fucking opposite of what you’d want to do, because every woman would be so different that you’d have to re-learn every time. And yep, I can’t even fathom how little imagine you’d need to fail to come up with advantages of knowing how to make a specific person cum. “What if you’re wrong” is…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/21 06:42 PM
1

I think so too. This is basic anatomy shit and backed with plenty of firsthand experiences (with references 😜)
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/21 06:22 PM
8

So edgy and intelligent. Better not kiss her unless she went down on a dude recently either. Better not fuck her or his spunk will be on your dick, too. That would be extra gay. Your best bet is to stay a shut-in who never has sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/21 06:08 PM
2

Every woman is different and many women refuse to participate in sharing with men what gets them off. The man has to have incredible stamina and magically figure out what she's into because this one particular woman thinks g spots are fake while another woman insists they're real. I have literally never met a woman who didn’t like a playful prodding of “tell me more of what you like” or a fun way to better find her sweet spots. No two women are the same, but they’re not foreign creatures—the gen…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/21 06:06 PM
3

Yeah no that’s not what I mean by a “g spot.” I’m specifically talking about the nerve cluster that extends from the clitoris on the upper inside of the vaginal wall, about two inches in. It feels like a little patch you can rub. And while it isn’t identical for everyone, it’s definitely not imaginary. But you need to use fingers to really hit it, which is why I don’t bother with penetration until she’s orgasmed at least once from fingers and oral.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/21 06:03 PM
4

According to my friends, some are very defensive and non receptive to feedback. I assume that doesn’t help. I learned through familiarizing myself with how to read cues and reading “She Comes First,” which is all you really need, plus some passion and creativity.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/21 06:00 PM
5

You betcha. If you ever wanted to “spin plates” this is how to guarantee they’ll be coming back.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/21 05:58 PM
14

Can you guys please describe in what ways you or perhaps your male friends care or don't care about the pleasure of your casual sex partner? I care a lot, but according to my female friends this isn't always common with their casual partners. A lot of guys don't know how to go down properly on a lady, don't know much about the g-spot, or that sometimes it takes a (sensual) while to get women revved up. What I do: usually aim to make her orgasm at least once or more on my fingers or orally, depen…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/21 10:52 AM
8

"Unmarried" and "single" as we mean it are different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/21 08:56 AM
11

What makes you think anyone is doing undervaluing? People are still forming satisfying relationships all the time and at normal rates.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/21 07:04 AM
1

Cruise is 5'7" and, sadly or happily, doesn't know me personally like my friend does. Edit: But nice sidestep of admission you were wrong. Very noble.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/21 01:39 AM
1

I already earn enough to be completely content. I'd rather keep having sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/21 01:38 AM
1

My friend is exactly the description provided then. He's 5'6", owns his own home, has a dog, has a fantastic career, awesome friends, and gets laid on the regular with women I even get jealous seeing. So your claim is still bullshit.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/21 01:36 AM
6

Nothing is free. What's your point?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/21 01:26 AM
9

What kind of message/social system is that? One where using your looks becomes prioritized over developing skills actually helpful for humanity One where people lacking these looks are told their social contributions are lesser, even though the opposite is true One where we devalue sex (ironically not sex positive) to be strictly transactional, when in reality most of us see it as an expression of something personal, or at least a way to connect to another human (even casually). One where greedy…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/21 01:09 AM
13

Absolutely not content. To my mind people who equate "sex positivity" with "free to work in the sex industry" are basically the same as preachy vegans: they're outspoken and not representative of what most people in their movement are talking about. "Sex positivity" is about not feeling shame for choosing to have sex with whomever, whenever you want. The issues with sex work have nothing to do with shame, and everything to do with the kind of message/social system that would be in place to encou…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/21 12:35 AM
1

But “niceness” is something many have correctly observed often doesn’t lead to sexual attraction "Doesn't lead to sexual attraction" is not the same as "detracts from sexual attraction." The falseness of the blue pill ideology is what creates some of the more extreme counter ideologies as men experience cheating, relationship failures, etc and realise mainstream society hasn’t provided an explanation Nah. Most normal people (ie., non-redditors) just operate in the world fine without ever thinkin…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/21 12:18 AM
2

Haha no I know. I’d almost sincerely agree with you, too, if I weren’t also a programmer.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 09:08 PM
1

Does 5'8" count as short? Because if so, your claim is bullshit.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 08:56 PM
1

since I'm not a programmer, I have no doubt I have a much better understanding of how the world works compared to you. Sir.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 08:56 PM
1

Aside from all the other things.... who the fuck trades their dog for endless casual sex? If you're the type of person who would, that's probably why you're unhappy with your sex life to begin with.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 08:54 PM
3

Ah sorry to hear that. At least we know what's out there now. There's a sort of "dating advice meme" circling the advice blogs about knowing whether or not you're settling. The basic advice goes that you should estimate how long you will be dating, then look at the 37% mark of that total timespan (based on some mathematic optimization for The Secretary Problem). Pick the top person in that lineup, and you should commit to the next person you date that's as good or better than that one. That's my…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 08:46 PM
3

I was wondering if I even know what love feels like, until I fell in love again a few years later. No doubts at all. I had the exact same revelation. Unfortunately that one didn't work out either, but even a year later we check in with each other (I suspect in the hopes that timing/life logistics will align again in the future). But meanwhile I'm looking out for round three and hoping she'll be the one that makes it over the finish line, not settling for less.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 08:18 PM
2

But surely there's a difference between romantic love (attraction + lust + attachment) vs. platonic love (purely attachment, maybe some lust)? And surely there's a threshold wherein the latter might feel "true?" Is that not what people really mean by "true" love? I agree there isn't The One, but I do suspect there's a real difference between the kind of deep attachment people often mean when they talk about "True" love vs. some other kind.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 08:16 PM
7

A great exercise I just discovered about this is to answer the question "If you could describe this person as an item of clothing currently in your wardrobe, what would they be?" I realized I probably wasn't going to make it with the woman I had described as "one of my casual t-shirts." Especially when I realized I would've described my two Big exes as my two favorite flannel blazers.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 08:14 PM
7

I think it can happen too. But it doesn't happen for everyone you meet. That TRP doesn't understand this distinction makes me laugh. I've gone to the point of "dying on a hill" for a multitude of women in waiting for that feeling to grow, and you're right that it has to happen in the dating phase. The fact that it didn't happen doesn't mean it never will, but it does mean we have to be judicious in walking away if it's clear it won't develop. But based on my experience with the other ex I will n…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 08:08 PM
5

It's been declining by about 1% per year since the 1980's (quick google search can reveal the information). Fat men produce more estrogen and less testosterone. Care to take a guess when the obesity epidemic started? In contrast, women are more masculine today than they were several decades ago Based on what? Your opinions...? In what ways are women more "masculine," other than having a career (which has nothing to do with masculine/feminine)? How has this impacted modern dating and relationship…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 07:57 PM
2

If you haven’t seen The Jinx yet either, I’ve just given you 2/2 excellent ones!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 07:03 PM
3

No that's actually the doco. I spoiled it a bit. It starts out with an innocent exploration into competitive tickling until it turns out it's a porn ring run by a psycho who blackmails young men into increasingly messy situations.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 04:39 AM
3

So I understand the blackmail angle, but I can't imagine a simple dick pic would work. I have a... not friend, but friend-adjacent man I know. Well bear in mind they also have your account info from matching with you in the first place. On apps like Hinge, that includes a lot of identifiable information. Including photos of your face, your workplace, your social media, etc. I think he had the right response, because it's not like he was doing something illegal or immoral anyway. He was just naiv…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 03:34 AM
1

It’s happened to me multiple times. It’s usually a super hot only-fans type account clearly run by a moron who thinks that over-the-top enthusiasm will get the pics. You can tell they’re phishing because they’ll turn the convo sexual quickly, but if you try to meet they’ll skirt to the side and ask for dick pics first. Usually they’ll send their “own” photos first to get the ball rolling. Also their neighborhoods they list are clearly fake, and you can spot quickly they don’t live there. I have …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/21 11:51 PM
1

I have been “fatfished” a few times. And there were also a few clearly phishing for nudes (they were absolutely obvious though). No I think insecure people exist everywhere and are equally good at hiding it It depends on how much up front investment they’re doing, how much in denial they are, and how secretive the other person is being. In my cases you couldn’t exactly tell. There were a few subtle hints, like not linking social media (but plenty of ordinary people don’t either), enthusiasm in m…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/21 11:47 PM
1

We are all hard-wired that same way. No, that's why sociosexual orientation index exists at all. If we all behaved and were hard-wired the same, there'd be nothing to measure. You obviously seem to get triggered hard by the term biology which I assume you have some sort of emotional investment in this, which again, I don't care. I'm stating facts. No I'm just astounded at how absolutely dense and yet simultaneously confident you can be. It's scientifically been accepted that humans are biologica…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/21 11:41 AM
1

You just keep arguing about tangential crap that is not relevant to my original points. This started because you naively assumed everyone was hard-wired the same way you were. I tried (apparently in vain) to educate you that your myopic understanding of sexual behavior is actually indexed, and that there's a wide spectrum of people who don't behave like you do. Neither sociosexuality nor narcissism has not nothing to do with biological monogamy,.... Just because sexual behavior is not a monolith…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/21 11:06 AM
1

So you ignore that fact that NPD and Psychpathology are in fact NOT social constructs which you said they were. Lol no I said "sociosexuality is as much a social construct as narcissism is." Do you get it yet? If I said "you're as much right about what you're talking about as it is the year 1994," would you understand what I was actually implying? It measures of sexuality, commitment and desire for a relationship which are all social aspects which is says in the goddamn inventory. SOI-R is an in…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/21 10:34 AM
1

Narcissism is a popularized term for NPD which has a diagnostic criteria in the DMS-5 and so is psychopathy which is measured using inventory scales. *DSM-5. Sociosexuality is similarly measured on a 9-point scale referred to as the Sociosexual Orientation Index, SOI-R. You can have NPD and Psychopathology outside of social situations which makes your social construct theory fall apart. I don't know what the fuck your point is, but these behavioral measurements have both biological and environme…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/21 09:55 AM
1

Sociosexuality is A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT Sociosexuality is as much a "social construct" as narcissism or psychopathy is a "social construct." Which is to say, you lead me to believe you don't really understand what "social construct" means. You are too dumb to understand this and too much of a trigger lord to be open to understanding it. I'm done with this. I'll just get banned getting annoyed by your stupidity. I realize this is not /r/iamverysmart but you made me forget for half a second there. Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/21 08:19 AM
7

First of all “despite they aren’t” is an incoherent sentence, do you know how to use “despite” correctly in a sentence? Secondly, I don’t know what you’re counting as STEM, but unless you’re including nurses and psychology majors, there’s a male majority by far.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/21 08:17 AM
1

Wanting to find love, how they're tired of all the games then when they meet someone who treats them right, is kind, loyal, loving, honest, we take it for granted? Because being treated right is the bare minimum we should expect from anyone, and it turns out satisfaction in a relationship also requires sexual and inter-personal chemistry, which is something nobody can force. Also "take for granted" is pretty presumptuous. I agonize over every women I end up cutting things off with because the sp…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/21 04:04 AM
2

Yeah there's heaps of factors at play. Someone modelling sexual dynamics off of one (crude) variable like global birth sex ratio is going to miss a lot of beats along the way.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/21 03:57 AM
2

The gay men alone definitely wouldn't cut it. But I imagine there's other mitigating factors (e.g. trans women, men who die young, demographic distributions, the age difference/window men settle down vs women) that all contribute as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/21 03:49 AM
1

Yep exactly. My weakly evidenced theory is that this is actually correlated with the fact that there is a natural sex imbalance of 105:100::men:women. It would make sense that if men are more inclined to be homosexual, we'd need a few more in "production" to keep the reproduction scales roughly in balance.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/21 02:53 AM
1

No but you made me think of a homo erectus ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/21 01:03 AM
14

No, they're Tickle-me-Elmo tier.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/21 12:24 AM
15

Education and left-leaning politics are correlated (in my opinion, for good reason). That will make it significantly harder for you to find all three. STEM women are also rarer. Personally, IDGAF about STEM. I'd much rather have someone who aligns politically, is low-risk averse, someone I have chemistry with and can hold a conversation. Hobbies/degree is worthless if we don't have shared values and chemistry.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/21 12:23 AM
7

That might explain why those who are (like me) are often befuddled at the claims other men make here about the men and women they engage with regularly.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/21 12:16 AM
1

I'd love to hear what you think it is, and how it relates to the current imbalance. Much closer to 1:1 than you suggested, and wildly varying based on age bracket and location (see SF vs NY) I don't think you're arguing that there's more available women in the dating pool than there are men. I’m not, just not that the imbalance you suggest is pervasive enough to explain the sexless ness phenomenon. I don't think it is for men at all. If she's pretty, neither career nor dependency matters. It’s a…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/21 10:24 PM
1

is irrelevant to the main point. Not if you want to discuss true ratios of available heterosexual men and women. However many drop out for whatever reason out of the heterosexual dating pool, do so from both sides, proportion and imbalance remains the same. It doesn't remain the same. If you read what I wrote closely, you'll see I said there are more gay men and bi women than lesbian women. Which means that proportionally there are more men taking themselves out of the hetero pool, and more "non…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/21 09:22 PM
2

It was much higher back in 2000 as well. You need to look at more than just one data point.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/21 08:54 PM
3

You forgot about gay men. LGB people comprise ~3.5% of the total population. 1.8% identify as bi, and 1.7% identify as gay. There are far more gay men than lesbian women, and far more bi women than lesbian women. You forgot about MtF transgenders You forgot to account for the fact that women date older men preferentially. None of this takes into account what percentage of men and women make themselves desirable partners The increased sexlessness in men is exactly the result of them trying too ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/21 08:52 PM
1

Yep. I’ve dated a few women quite a few inches taller than me. It was fine. Fun change of variety.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/21 05:09 PM
2

Arousal and desire are not the same thing. Desire and sexual promiscuity are not the same thing either. Using your own made-up terminology like “biologically monogamous” that confuses the meaning of these specifically defined terms does not give your ideas new meaning. Since you seem clearly confused on terms and refer to what scientists actually mean, “polygamy” is specifically reserved for people in multiple committed relationships at once. To be “biologically polygamous” would mean a biologic…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/21 05:07 PM
7

[As a single person reflecting on my past relationships] There are no circumstances, except an external force threatening to kill/jail/maim me, my partner, or a loved one if we don't split. Granted, the bar for me committing in the first place is very fucking high. But once I do, nothing external could change my investment in that person. I hold out for the right ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/21 10:58 AM
5

Culturally sure, we are discouraged from it, but if you strip away this societal norms you'll be fucking every attractive girl you come across. No, you're referring to sociosexual orientation, which is one's propensity to be promiscuous. Men, on average have slightly more liberal SOI than women, but there is wider in-group variance than between group, which means there's heaps of very monogamous men, and heaps of very sexual liberal women. Sounds like you're also sexually liberal and would prefe…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/21 10:56 AM
1

Nope, I’ve just been arguing from what I’ve learned and seen from real relationship dynamics and social sciences.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/21 01:41 AM
1

I have no idea what my personal relationship concerns have to do with the facts we’re discussing, especially ones related to an entirely different subject. But, no, I’m not worried about a woman letting herself go.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 11:43 PM
1

I don’t understand your question? What do you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 11:27 PM
1

No.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 11:21 PM
1

If you don’t think it exists then nothing I can do can change your mind. If you were anti-vaxx and I showed you millions of babies without autism who were vaccinated, it wouldn’t do a damn thing. So this isn’t really a CMV, because any example or explanation I give you, you’ll dismiss without any consideration to its plausibility. Re actions match in words: yeah that’s my point. People are full of themselves and love themselves all the time. That has no bearing on whether they treat others well.…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 11:15 PM
1

Correct. They don't love the women. Those men probably hate themselves too. I'm not sure how we can have a productive debate (or "Change my View") if you've already decided your view is non-falsifiable. So let me change tacks and ask you this: What would it take to convince you there are men who are not narcissists, who love themselves, yet still treat others poorly? If the answer is "nothing can convince me," then let's just agree to disagree because this is no longer a debate. When I'm a gf I …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 10:45 PM
2

Oh it’s definitely true. For example most LVMs FDS describes are men who treat their dates without sufficient respect and value, but aren’t necessarily narcissists (properly understood). And no, this is a common phenomenon. We like to think our love is unconditional, but nobody’s is that impervious. In psychology it’s called Social Exchange Theory; whereby we perform subconscious calculations about the costs and benefits of a relationship. Someone letting themselves go in a couple creates an imb…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 10:21 PM
2

What do you hope to gain by getting one of these examples? An approach could be to label anyone who loves themselves but treats others poorly is automatically a “narcissist,” even though that isn’t true. So that would be my first mundane example. In any case, here’s another. In couples where one partner lets themselves go/a terrible accident happens, sometimes the loving partner will unintentionally feel an imbalance and start to unintentionally pull away/treat the partner with resentment/less r…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 09:56 PM
3

Yes but my point is it isn’t a 1:1 mapping. There are people who treat others well but loathe themselves. There are people who treat others like shit but love themselves. There are people who love themselves and others. There are people who hate themselves and others. Every possible permutation exists regularly in the wild.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 09:31 PM
1

Most people aren’t abusers or narcissists, yes. But the mechanism under which they treat someone differently to how they treat themselves isn’t unique to APD and narcissism either. As someone else said in another thread, how someone treats you is how they value you. That can be independent of how they view themselves, although each may influence the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 09:20 PM
3

They may not have good self-esteem, but abusers and narcissists definitely still do this. Abusers don't necessarily have scarcity, they just have a warped sense of entitlement.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 09:11 PM
1

I think it is necessary to teach boys not to cry because the truth is as you get older, crying doesn’t solve anything and instead, it makes you look weak and pathetic in front of your friends, families, co workers, girlfriends, and wives. Crying is just a physical reaction to a feeling in the body. It's no different than farting or sneezing. If you want to brag to everyone that you never sneeze, be my guest, but that's a weird flex. The problems arise when the crying is coupled with neediness an…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 09:09 PM
2

🥰🥰 omg thank you!!1! . ...Uh, I mean... fuck yeah it does.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 11:16 AM
2

I guess you never read all the flowery and elegant prose that used to be the mark of a successful, esteemed and well-educated member of the European ruling class? Exactly. Lord Byron never got laid because he was clearly a beta soy boy who wrote like a chick. Checkmate bloops!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 10:36 PM
6

Obviously it's when you type while doing your nails at the same time. ZomG!1!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 10:34 PM
1

Ok I'm going to make a top-level comment on this because it pisses me off when people talk about how something can "predict with X% accuracy" therefore means unequivocally it's any good at doing what the fuck we think it's doing. In machine learning, we talk about something called "training data," which is basically the primer dataset for teaching the prediction heuristic what features to care about when making future predictions. Unsurprisingly, if you feed a bunch of biased training data, that…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 10:31 PM
1

The examples you've given are literary writing... OP and I are talking about more conversational types of writing (such as on the internet/social media), or personal essay writing. 2/3 are quotes (one a tweet, one an interview/commentary quote) not fiction. Man. JK Rowling. Either a woman or a man writing in the voice of a woman. Donald Trump tweet talking about Kim Jun-un. I actually know what this is from. Man. Great quote though, hey. What? I didn't say anything about Hemingway. I know you di…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 10:08 PM
3

I get what you're aiming for, but you're just describing Hemingway, not men in general. That's my larger point. "As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters." ^Who wrote that, man or woman? "And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer." ^Man or woman? "Why would [he] insult me by calling me 'old,' when I woul…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 08:42 PM
5

70% accuracy is garbage. Yeah and I figured you didn’t mean it badly either, but there’s already so much OCD obsession with masculinity/femininity on PPD I wanted to squash another dimension of it before it got out of hand.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 08:12 PM
5

Shit. Checkmate I’m out.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 08:10 PM
8

Did we collectively forget about that woman who killed her toddler and then got national attention because she was hot? Or how hot female teachers who fuck young male students isn’t seen as predatory? All of this hamstering to prove female psychology is twisted when in reality we’re seeing very small slivers of the population on both sides who have incredibly fucked up priorities for attraction (fame/power vs. looks). I don’t want to be that guy but FFS, “men do it too.” This entire focus on cri…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 07:40 PM
13

What the fuck is masculine/feminine writing even supposed to look like? Hemingway while drunk and riding an ox vs. Marylin Monroe composing love letters to a new crush? The whole idea is stupid. I wouldn’t worry about how you come off to others. It’s just writing. I’d be way more concerned about the kind of person who reads into everyday writing and starts designating genders accordingly (OP). That person would be, to me, autistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 07:27 PM
1

But to come back to my title, I am looking for tips on how not to attract lower quality men. The closest thing I could think of was look at what you guys find unattractive and try to be that because I assume the men here are low value. You can't. Nobody can—this is true for men and women. All you can do is filter aggressively and don't entertain LVW/LVM from the start. Know how to vet and have indicators that negative/low-value won't be tolerated. Actually I think swiping on dating apps was basi…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 01:20 AM
5

It's not misleading, it's that there's this other element—chemistry—that factors in. Or the guy thinks he meets her list when he only gets by on a technicality. I have a list for the woman I'd commit to. It's long and demanding. But in my experience, no matter how specific I get, I can point to women in the past I've dated who've not "done it for me" and I had to walk away. Similarly, the women I really, really wanted to commit to fell short of this list in at least one way or another. That's ch…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 01:17 AM
1

It's definitely possible. I'm a man who's been on the hunt for a LTR for five years now. But this exact scenario has played out for me, and now I'm just shy of 20 count. Most—just about all—of my partners have been during short-term dating that just didn't evolve into more (the connection wasn't as strong as I thought it'd be).
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/21 11:19 AM
1

Nice rant. But pragmatically "purpose and meaning" can still be self-invented. We know this because plenty of people do believe in a purpose or meaning in life. Just because we conclude the meaning isn't (ultimately) "real" doesn't mean it can't bring us personal value. That makes it even more powerful, because we realize we can invent/create our own life's purpose.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/21 12:33 AM
2

And it’s one thing to say it as a matter of personal choice. It’s another to message it or declare it publicly. In my case, I’d mentioned a long time back I like very fit women. One night after the booze was pouring a mutual friend asked when friend 1 and I would hook up. I said “never” and then she pressed into the “why” (hindsight I should’ve just said “I don’t see Friend 1 that way.”) Without me saying much besides “she’s just not my type,” she connected the dots and then they made a huge thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/21 12:01 AM
2

Bit of both. Life threw me some challenges early on and I quickly learned not to give a fuck even about how your own parents feel about you. I’m sure that contributed. I developed it more once I became an adult
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 10:51 PM
1

How is it the same thing? It's not identical, but it's close enough. It's no different than condemning mothers for caring for their children once they've grown into adults. "Mother" is what she is, but acting on her love is somehow shameful and wrong. Feel free to tell a mother how her acting out her love is significantly different than "being a mother." Healthy love is both a state of being and an action/choice. Condemning half that does no harm and pretending you're not condemning both in the …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 10:25 PM
1

They don't believe being gay is wrong, they believe the act is wrong. It's the same thing. Use that empathy Christians say is so important to have. Imagine being told you were forbidden to physically and romantically love the person you currently care most about, and this was also shameful and wrong. Imagine being told you can either never have sex again, or only have sex with men. If you lack this imagination, look at the stats. Gay men and women have a much higher suicide rate, especially in h…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 09:19 PM
2

Thanks
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 08:54 PM
0

I fucked up just one time by mentioning this in passing and it created drama that comes up between me and my friend to this day. Apparently this preference is forbidden
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 08:53 PM
2

Yes that one is true. I forgot to include it because I figured that one out on my own, but it would've been nice to learn it from a father-figure instead.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 06:48 PM
1

Yes it should. Someone believes that being gay is wrong—something that is personal and tied to their makeup (not a choice), and ultimately just a way to love another person—does harm unto others and the world by maintaining, vocalizing, and acting on that belief. That’s toxic, and it’s wrong to have (should be removed). It’s no different than someone harboring racist or sexist views, especially when vocalizing and forming a community that shares them. “Pray the gay away” camps have led to far to…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 06:44 PM
1

Not quite arbitrary because we know an embryo has the DNA determined of that future human(s), and that DNA will never occur again. That’s still arbitrary and insufficient. See my example of brain dead patients above. Or how about unviable/miscarried fetuses? They have full DNA. How about skin cells, they also have full DNA. Identical twins have exactly matching DNA, does that mean because one is a “clone” only one gets inalienable rights? “Having unique human DNA” doesn’t work for me, and if you…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 01:12 PM
1

I don't have a good counterargument to your rhetorical reference to Nazism? Apparently not. Or was it not clear what the analogy was for? I think the first thing is...first they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out - because I was not a socialist. What does this have to do with toxic beliefs and the justifications people make for them? That’s the topic.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 01:02 PM
1

I think your issue with Christianity is more to do with the bounds of what should "fraternal correction" be. I think you just changed tacks because you don't have a good counter-argument. "That's what they believe" just doesn't cut it for me. Nor does an appeal to so-called "natural law." More than happy to dive into the weeds of why that is, but speculating my own personal motive is a red-herring. Where there's good justification in secular agreement, I'm also more than happy for "fraternal cor…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 12:16 PM
1

If the intention is to stop an embryo developing person-hood and thus having inalienable rights, why isn't this considered wrong? Because your request is arbitrary unless you can provide sufficient justification. Why stop at an embryo already formed? Why not blame masturbation or having a period as lost potential? Or why stop at third trimester? Because that's not how inalienable rights work. A brain-dead comatose patient "has potential" of recovering back to a full person—something they already…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 12:06 PM
1

Catholicism, Greek Orthodox believe sex is to be unitive and procreative, that's just what they believe. And neo-nazies believe white is a superior race due to some sort of superior genetics. That's what they believe. Shockingly, this doesn't convince me to take their belief seriously or with respect.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 12:02 PM
32

I can speak to this as I didn't have a real father figure, but managed to make it out on my own two feet. I can tell you exactly what I felt was missing, and what I hope to give to my sons if ever I'm lucky enough to be a dad one day. Discipline. So important. I was always a good kid, but I often had a running fantasy that I'd get picked up or mentored by a real male role-model. I basically wanted my ass kicked, toughened up. I wanted to do some kind of boot camp or survivalist training. Somethi…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 10:46 AM
1

But you see here time and time again from every corner women telling things like. I don't see that "time and again here." And even if I did, I don't take reddit seriously enough to think for a second that it represents people as a whole. IRL these concept is getting harder to pull of because womens standards are on the rise often regardless of her own smv/rmv making armadillos statement while being a rant also correct. I don't see this happening.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/21 08:04 PM
3

I love this challenge.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/21 08:03 PM
2

Because you flippantly acted like it’s true and I have a feeling no amount of explanation will change that. I could point out that: Women message men consistently and fairly first regardless of these physical attractiveness ratings This data was based on nothing but OkCupid surveys of photos This data biases for online internet users Women care less about physical attractiveness in general A majority of men (meaning “average” would have to be included) have positive sentiments and experiences to…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/21 05:40 AM
0

Oh so you don’t understand how to interpret it, got it
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/21 03:56 AM
-3

Thanks for the rant. Next time bring me real data so I can debate an actual argument
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/21 03:17 AM
7

"Below medium" whatever that means (not necessarily the same as "below average"). And also this is only true on initial judgment of photos, and only taken from an OkCupid sample. Real studies show something else. Over time people (yes that means women) will find their partner attractive provided their personality is appealing, even if they understand that, objectively, others won't.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/21 02:44 AM
21

This entire post is built upon the faulty assumption that "more attraction -> better treatment/commitment." Nope, not true. Women give each other advice often over how to vet/choose men who treat them right. Physically unattractive women find very loyal "ride-or-die" men all the time, physically beautiful women end up with losers and abusers all the time, and every permutation in between. 90 percent of women have standards that are way too high to give the even a realistic chance of meeting a ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/21 02:30 AM
1

What’s your point?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 08:48 PM
1

But we can we reach a consensus that there is a possibility that life begins at conception? Possibility in what sense? It's "possible" in a conceivability sense. It's not possible in a logical necessitation sense, unless it's (funnily enough) actually true. Asking us to agree on its conceivability grants you nothing. Asking us to agree on its logical possibility will never happen. It's the same logical semantics issue with Plantinga's Ontological Argument. Have we ruled out that life doesn't beg…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 11:59 AM
1

But we don't know for certain that this law isn't allowing the death of human lives This same debate comes up with questions about opt-in suicides and the death penalty. We don't know anything for certain. And in this case, we know even less. That's why we leave it to the individual. You're perfectly entitled to not "take that risk" in your own choice on the matter. But for all you know, Christianity is wrong and the real religion is one where we're expected to marry someone of another race. Eve…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 11:44 AM
1

But there isn't sufficient secular consensus that we do not if life dies not occur at birth? I can't parse this question, but if you're trying to just flip the script, the consensus grows increasingly strong from about the twelve-week mark into the third trimester and certainly by birth. That's why the legality wiggles within that space. If your question is that there isn't secular consensus about more than that, I'll point out that's an absurd question. Pro-choice is not pro-abortion. The reaso…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 11:39 AM
1

But as a society, and I get this regularly, particularly here, people say "because it's legal, it must be okay". Quote me where I said that. I said it's legal because there is no secular consensus. I said it's toxic to impose restrictions where there isn't sufficient secular consensus. They then fight against anybody who tells them that something that is legal still wrong. I will gladly and eagerly point to things that are legal yet still wrong. Legality is not morality. That's not what the argu…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 11:28 AM
1

So why are we not erring on the possibility that life does commence at conception, just to be safe? We don't err on any side. We leave it up to the individual to make that choice for themselves. Forcing abortion or preventing abortion for an individual are the toxic extremes. If there are twelve jurists, and one says life begins at conception, should we not let it live? No. Because we don't have sufficient "reasonable doubt" to justify this. That's what I mean by secular consensus. This went all…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 11:22 AM
1

I don't see why that's worth bringing up.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 11:19 AM
1

But but the counter-arguments as to why human life doesn't begin at conception, they don't do that, are they toxic? Depends on how dogmatic they are about them. The reason abortion is legal is because there is no secular consensus as to when personhood is properly defined. I take it that personhood begins later than conception, or at least the right to life. However, I don't take it so seriously as to say I must be correct. Not knowing what the correct/certain answer is, the appropriate decision…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 11:14 AM
1

The most common mass of Christians would be the Catholic church though. Did I say the "most" common mass or did I simply refer to "common masses" (which include the very popular evangelical/southern baptist/mormon/etc. denominations)? Why are you still on this? It does literally nothing to forward your position or anything we're talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 11:05 AM
1

If she can't provide the level of justification I outlined above, she would be toxic for holding her opinion with that level of certainty.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 11:03 AM
1

You should choose to argue against someone properly be trained in theology, not some doomsayer on the street corner. I already told you I dove deep into theology and apologetics a long time ago, and was in it for a very long time. Your fixation on distancing yourself from the common masses of Christians who don't bother to inform themselves doesn't change the fact that there are these common masses who (a) have toxic beliefs and (b) make political and personal decisions based on them. Would you …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 10:58 AM
1

But you can still be agnostic and be certain that human life begins at conception? You can believe it personally, but give yourself a Nobel Prize if you can provide a secular justification that deserves the grade of "certainty," one that would settle the debate even for dissenters.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 10:55 AM
1

But your argument is uneducated. You're chasing your own taill and I don't know how to help you. The reasons for why Christians are against abortion aren't found in Exodus. So are the swaths of Christians who use Exodus to bolster their abortion stance not "real" Christians or have you just never encountered one before? I still don't care either way, but maybe that can help you work through your own confusion. Whether you want to be a part of them or not, or call them uneducated or not, those pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 10:51 AM
1

I can't tell if you're being intentionally duplicitous or simply don't see it, but moral absolutism is not inherently dogmatic. Absolutism refers to the objective quality of morals, it says little about how certain you are that moral absolutism is correct (that's where the dogmatism lies). Not dogmatic/not toxic: "I believe God is real and that such-and-such moral statements are correct due to Divine Command (or whatever other ethical framework). However, since my conviction that God is real is …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 10:46 AM
1

It's not that their beliefs may or may not be toxic, it's just that their sources are wrong. Yes but this is transitive. If I have an unwavering belief that a voice in my wall is real and the authority of truth, and then I think that voice tells me it's ok to beat women, that's a toxic belief the comes from a "wrong source." What they are saying often follows a Christian tradition that they have taken in, but they don't appreciate where it really derived. I don't care.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 10:38 AM
1

I don't understand your point, you believe that a belief that life begins at conception is toxic if it derives from monotheism? If it derives from unwarranted yet unwavering dogmatism. That could come from dogmatic theism, fortune telling, or conspiracy theories. Take your pick.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 10:35 AM
1

however they are in error when they say their entire cultural beliefs can be found in the bible. It's almost like we'd agree that their belief system is fundamentally toxic.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 10:28 AM
1

they argue that human life begins at conception. And how dogmatic are they about the underlying beilefs that inform this one (ie., that God exists, is the authority of morality, has conveyed this morality unambiguously and clearly to mankind)? That will tell you how toxic I think the conclusion is.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 10:25 AM
1

I was pointing out the nicence creed has been there in some form, since almost day 1 of Christianity, way before the reformation, way before evangelicals split from the main churches. And I was pointing out your history lesson has nothing to do with whether or not a large faction of individuals who call themselves Christian simultaneously hold toxic beliefs they believe are foundational to their faith. Sounds to me you don't want to call them Christian, but I'll just play the No True Scotsman ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 10:21 AM
1

And if the rationality behind abortion, that the human soul enters the body at conception once the person's DNA is defined? You argue that's toxic? Depending on the level of dogmatism behind that certainty, yep. How's that play out for being homophobic though? Not well.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 10:16 AM
1

how is any of this relevant to the discussion that some Christians have toxic beliefs about homosexuality and abortion? Your eagerness to rationalize your beliefs got you majorly sidetracked. As soon as you started talking about the Nicene Council (hence the "Whooosh") you went way off the tracks.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 09:45 AM
1

Christianity believes the practice of homosexuality does not follow natural law, that's their belief on it. Well it took a dozen comments, but we finally got there. Thanks for finally proving my point. They also believe that sex outside of marriage does not follow natural law. And that abortion does not follow natural law. Cool. As I said from the start, you can hamster or rationalize away the belief however you'd like. But just like TRP when there's toxic ideas, the fundamental toxicity of the …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 09:43 AM
1

It’s always been. Answer the question.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 09:40 AM
1

You conveniently didn’t answer the challenge about homosexuality. You consistently sidestep the challenges you know are already true and applicable to try to split hairs over what ultimately doesn’t matter—the toxicity is already there regardless (viz homophobia, etc.). We can debate whether anti-abortion is toxic all day but until you prove to me you’re capable of being objective I see no reason not to consider this debate well and over
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 05:00 AM
1

And how is any of this relevant to the discussion that some Christians have toxic beliefs about homosexuality and abortion?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 04:59 AM
1

Evangelicals and Mormons also: condemn homosexuality, are anti-abortion, and against premarital sex. I said specifically those three beliefs are toxic. Do you agree with those three claims? Then congratulations, you have toxic beliefs that you bury by trying to overrationalize with theology and apologetics. If you don’t agree with those three ideas then this entire thread was never for you. Why you chose to get Star-Trek level nerd on me about the Council of Nicea or the evolution of Christian i…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 02:36 AM
1

Whoooooosh
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 02:32 AM
1

What about homosexuality? Edit: .... the silence is defeaning
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 01:38 AM
1

I never said all Christians are literalists. I said those who are have toxic beliefs. How is this so difficult for you?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 01:38 AM
1

Ok 👌🏼👌🏼. Get back to me when you figure out why that’s relevant to anything
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 01:37 AM
1

Not all Christians agree with the Nicene Creed, Jesus Christ dude it’s like you’re reading me your own rule book and acting like we’re all on board with it. And you missed the point entirely if you think you’ve proven anything by saying “yeah Christians disapprove of homosexuality but for different reasons!1!”
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 01:30 AM
1

So fucking what? Read my first comment again dude. The part where I specifically say most Christians are simply unified under a belief in Jesus but that only the literalists have toxic thinking. You’d have saved so much time if you applied that same investigative attention to detail you apply to the bible to the comment you first replied to and ostensibly comprehended.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 01:19 AM
1

You clearly have a chip on your shoulder about Christianity being mocked, but it’s affecting your ability to be objective. The fact that I’m replying to you at all, despite the fact that I said I wouldn’t if you didn’t concede the point about homosexuality and premarital sex, tells me you aren’t interested in looking at this critically. You just don’t want anyone shitting on your favorite flavor of theism.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 01:16 AM
1

Look, if you want to debate religion. I’m happy to do so. I’m not really interested in your personal interpretation of the passages. That misses the point by miles and miles. If anything, it goes to show how dangerous thinking one’s religious interpretation is the definitive one (which un know you aren’t doing, but most biblical literalists do). Y’know, a kind of toxic mentality. The very thing this whole topic started with. And nah I’m good bro. I got deep into apologetics. I understand exactly…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 01:14 AM
1

No that would be you. Go read my first comment again. Remember how I said that belief in Jesus isn’t toxic but that “biblical literalism” is? And now you’re complaining that I’m talking about biblical literalists being toxic, as if that isn’t exactly the fucking point I’ve been making from the start. If you hadn’t been so sensitive to only certain brands of religion getting a jab you would’ve saved yourself the time and embarrassment.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 01:10 AM
2

Imagine trying to prove that literalism isn’t toxic by showing that literalists can interpret passages ostensibly from the mouth of God in entirely different ways and insist their correctness.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/21 10:26 PM
1

That passage does not say abortion is murder. I replied to that comment. But you agree, yes, the main point? Don’t pretend for a moment the Bible isn’t abundantly clear on its position about premarital sex or homosexuality as moral issues. Those stances alone make a literalist interpretation “toxic.” I'm not about to chase your red-herring without acknowledgment that you understand the concept behind a toxic set of fundamental beliefs and that biblical literalists are an example of this. If you …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/21 09:57 PM
2

My ex was similarly “ex JW family.” I hear that. Yeah when people ask what happened to my faith (atheist now) I tell them I didn’t turn away, I just followed it all the way to its natural conclusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/21 07:20 PM
4

Mom used to listen to her on the car radio almost constantly when I was a kid. She had an excellent way of answering call-in advice that was similarly blunt.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/21 06:44 PM
2

I’m an ex-evangelical. I know what I’m talking about. u/gravel_roads kindly pulled a relevant abortion verse for your perusal. Besides, using abortion as the counter-argument is a red-herring and you know it. Don’t pretend for a moment the Bible isn’t abundantly clear on its position about premarital sex or homosexuality as moral issues. Those stances alone make a literalist interpretation “toxic.”
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/21 06:27 PM
3

Because it’s relevant when discussing toxic beliefs. Also if there are any evangelical biblical literalists who also frequent PPD as RedPill enthusiasts, I’ve never met them.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/21 12:04 PM
7

I used to find it interesting. Now I just find it predictable and discouraging. The bar is so far from the marker of having a constructive conversation about it that I write off anyone who's that dismissive as being too dumb to engage with productively.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/21 03:35 AM
4

Most people on PPD have no idea there's been multiple waves of feminism, or just how diverse their ideologies are.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/21 03:26 AM
8

Splitting hairs, it depends a lot on what you mean by "fundamentally." Is Christianity fundamentally toxic? According to most Christians the designation only requires a belief that Jesus is Lord and sins forgiven etc. Hard to see how that's toxic. But if you believe the Bible is also the "Word of God" and are a biblical literalist, then yeah mate you're going to have fundamentally toxic beliefs (homosexuality is a sin, abortion is murder, women must submit). And no matter how much you try to whi…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/21 01:00 AM
1

One time a friend wouldn't let up as to why I wasn't pursuing her, so after a few gentle push-offs from the topic where she wouldn't relent, I went full nuclear and told her she "wasn't my type." That wasn't the nuke, that was the fuse. The nuke was when she demanded to know what my type was, and I laid it out entirely. The craftier among you can piece together why that might be an incredibly insulting response. I do not recommend this approach even when pressed. Drinks had been involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/21 08:06 PM
1

Because it's the most convenient metric for people to even know what I mean. Nah most people don't ever go to truerateme. They don't think in terms of a bell curve. A 7/10 is "more attractive than 70%-80% of people" and an 8/10 is "80%-90%..." regardless of the distribution of them. That's how most people think of these things. The alternative is to spend paragraphs on paragraphs describing it, and that just seems a little gay. But that's all TrueRateMe does. They have a whole goddamn system wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/21 07:58 PM
5

Yeah you put to words well the point about watching what happens and offering an observation. I do the same—basically if I notice something I bring it up, ask if it’s a problem, and offer to help. But ultimately I make it their own decision. And this is irrespective of gender, because I’ll also be more on the lookout for my fellow dudes who seem lonely, depressed, isolated,or left out without being appreciated.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/21 07:06 PM
8

I offer to walk my female friends to their car at night after hanging, or check the Uber pickup goes smoothly, little things like that. I’m more likely to offer a little old lady help carrying groceries than an old man, but I’ve also offered to help either, depending on how much struggling I’m seeing. Otherwise if I’m not dating her it’s effectively the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/21 07:01 PM
1

My point is that even by their own description a 7+ is in the amateur to professional model range. The way real people work is that this is considered “the hottest of hot.” If you aspire to be in that range fine. But let’s not pretend it’s worth even taking a little seriously a debate between whether someone is a 7.5 or an 8.25. And ultimately if their process for judgment at that level is more or less arbitrary, it definitely isn’t the “best” system. If you’re looking at bell curves then percen…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/21 06:50 PM
1

It means something positive... to the people who create that rating. But I guarantee the biggest differentiator for anything above a 6.5 is personal taste and professionalism of the photo. I know this because I can look at their assessment of women’s scores, and often find my “type” way more attractive than the “9s” they list there. Case in point: Kristen Bell is perfection to me. I get that moving above a 5 or 6 or whatever still has significance—like it isn’t all arbitrary. But you fall into a…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/21 12:20 PM
1

Are there any extremely attractive men people here No. This is PPD.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/21 04:16 AM
2

TrueRateMe is a fucking joke bro. The criteria for anyone above a "7" is beyond arbitrary. Are they right about normal distribution? Probably. But when you're talking about a bell curve where anything over a 7.5 is already in the top, top percentiles, there's no way to truly distinguish beyond that. A person who is top 95th percentile in looks is, by all accounts, going to be as appreciated for looks as someone in the top 99.9th. It's like trying to distinguish the saltiness of water between 95%…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/21 04:14 AM
1

Well you’re talking to an ex evangelical who got deep into apologetics and theology. On my experience I agree, religion tends to attract people of particular conservative persuasion. Even now as an atheist I don’t really get the appeal of rampant casual sex. Yeah I only brought up Utah to point out how those types can bring the average down. In places like California they’ll be interspersed among the “normies” so the number is harder to track, but I think they still affect it
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 11:57 PM
4

It depends a lot on the circumstances of the breakup. Generally I'd say "no," it's not possible. If you were still in love or still harbored feelings, you can't just jump into something new. But, if it was a long-time coming, or you stayed way longer than you should while your feelings fizzled way out, I see it as possible. And then there's those weird common stories of old people having partners die off like flies and then all intermarrying and it seems to work relatively well. So I'd say.. som…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 10:27 AM
1

But in terms of body count, this lets you know that most of them actually aren’t virgins until marriage. If they’re willing to have sex outside of marriage once, they’re willing to do it again. Ok... but use the same logic we use in any other situation we discuss here. The rest of us all have premarital sex, but the frothy-mouths get on their banshee sprees when discussing specific N-count numbers and choices people make with sex frequency. This matters because there's still a question of how of…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 10:17 AM
1

Having premarital sex is not the only factor here. There’s the age of marriage, how frequent the sexual partners are, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 08:26 AM
1

Great points. I’ll keep on with the journey.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 06:34 AM
1

Yeah you probably went too far. Some people's types are strong. Yeah, it's shallow, but it's what you want! I like skinny pale men. Only ever really been that interested in skinny pale men. And confident intellectual men! Sure it might be shallow to some, but who cares? What I build in a LTR is substantial enough to where I can still feel good about myself. I'd love to be more flexible on it but I find I just can't. For me it's fit latinas and fit blondes. No surprise there since I grew up in So…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 06:15 AM
1

Being single and knowing people can help, but you must realize that the more casual you are the easier it is to fall for someone who is on their way out of town. Yeah it was my fault with the study abroad student. Honestly I'd given up at that point and was just dating casually and she shook me out of that. Started dating with intentionality right after which led me to my recent ex. In her case, there were red flags I ignored (her readiness for a relationship, for one) because the feeling was so…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 06:12 AM
1

This is the beauty of multiple dating. You can stick it out, but maybe just not have sex or get otherwise entangled with any one person. Yeah true. I just have a hard time spreading out my energy like that. I get invested, even if it's not high chemistry. And my life is so busy that I don't even have time for more than one date per week. Ideally, sure, I'd love to do that. But many times I feel the pressure (from her and myself) of getting more exclusive and focused, not to mention giving up my …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 05:59 AM
1

Did you ever have times in your marriage when you felt the communication or the compatibility wasn't up to standard? Never communication. Not even for a second. When we disagreed we fought productively and never hurled insults. We were great at problem-solving. For compatibility she wavered on wanting kids (and ultimately decided even now she doesn't want them). That got tough, but I knew I loved her and was willing to compromise how I could to see if we could make the marriage work anyway. Only…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 05:52 AM
0

Seems like your comment is coming from heightened insecurity and sensitivity. I'm literally just sharing my own life experience—one I think is quite normal in this case.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 05:27 AM
1

This is hard to tell. Yeah and hence why I'd also say that it can be understandable that some people have to basically learn how to find love the right way, which is why I'm wary of an N-count in a vacuum. If it's to the point you're feeling stuck? I'd say you're right- don't bother. I'd say the exact same thing. And it's often when I take the "off-ramp" out. But I'm being honest with who I'm dating and my feelings around it, and if nothing else sticking around longer will at least prove my gut …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 05:22 AM
1

See, if you notice this, maybe wait slightly more than 2 months! Like, oh, 3 months. For sex or to continue dating? I'm working with a therapist now who suggests to date for longer than 2 months to see if the feelings grow, but I think it will still stay "fizzled." In my experience the feelings don't "grow" if the spark isn't there from the start. In which case I'll know, instead, to just end things earlier. With regards to sex, it doesn't actually bother me sleeping with someone earlier, I just…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 04:55 AM
2

Take into account all the very Christian, Mormon, Muslim, and otherwise traditional people in the US and it might help account for the number. Especially given that in places like Europe the number can be nearly twice that—which is what I think is more reasonable for the average "irreligious" person. My guess of the non-religious/"normal" person is it's closer to 12 for an average, but I'll go as low as 8. Then on the upper limit around 16-18 for lifetime partners. Beyond that is "above average"…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 04:27 AM
1

I don't feel like a potential guy is worth messing up my pH for, and definitely not worth shellimg out the money for new STD tests and stopping myself from dating others. Interesting. So when you'd date, you'd wait 3-6 months but also date multiple people at the same time? I'm not going to be sleeping with one guy and dating a other. Most people aren't okay with that behavior. Are you? It depends on how romantically invested I am. If it's someone I really like, it would definitely lead me to wal…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 04:19 AM
1

Interesting. Thanks for that. Something I found interesting: If a couple waits much longer than that, he says, the strong desire to have sex may begin to subside. There’s data to back him up – a 2012 study on sexual desire found that after the beginning phase of a relationship, sexual desire can drop... ..which would seem to suggest that you almost should have sex before too long. In any case, if I take a tally on my past romantic partners and how long we waited, I'd say a decent chunk hit close…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 04:05 AM
1

He has to want the same things from life. I want dogs and a nice, quiet cabin. I want a stable 9-5, and the occasional vacation to various places, until I die a peaceful death on my own terms if need be. I want to be a community activist. I want to manage my health in the best way possible. My list includes being physically active, taking care of herself, emotional self-awareness, wanting marriage and kids, having direction and purpose, many of the things you listed, etc. Yet for all these thing…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 03:57 AM
1

I think after the first 5-9 misses, I would realize I'm sleeping with people that aren't all that likely to work out. And how do you differentiate them from the ones who do work out? Because I'll tell you from living it first-hand, if you have a heuristic I'm all ears. But I didn't even have that problem, I just defaulted to waiting until I was really sure from the very start of my serious dating. That's very convenient and lucky for you, but most people don't strike gold so easily.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 03:40 AM
2

Casual sex can mean FWB though or other situations where you know the person long enough to vet them. And knowing a person long enough isn't the same as going on dates with them. I agree the 8% is misleading, but I don't think 75% is a good metric either. 21%ish is probably right though. Yeah all that says is that 75% don't find a moral problem with casual sex. The 21% refers to people who are actively seeking. From what I've read (because I'm a huge nerd). it takes something like 40ish consecut…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 03:38 AM
1

If you fuck around a lot, you probably hang out with/fuck around with people who are also fucking around a lot, giving you the impression that it's the norm. Sure, but dating with the intent of finding more isn't exactly "fucking around."
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 03:34 AM
1

Someone who averages 2 new partners per year for 15 years straight has shown that they don’t value commitment. Pretty presumptuous to claim it's all their fault each time. Why would you bet half your assets on such a person? Because I (a man) have got a much higher average than that and know my level of commitment. Past behaviour is the best indicator of future behaviour Does that apply to being ruled by fear?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 03:32 AM
1

Maybe you're just more handsome than most and have a fun kind personality? It's possible... but I still don't buy the 8% stat at face value. Most men I know—even fairly average dudes, will have sex around the three-date mark.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 02:18 AM
3

think sex should happen inside the first three dates Reading this carefully matters. They think it should ("ought to," "is supposed to") happen within three dates. That is very different from whether they do or are open to it happening. Like I fucking hate the terps who say "Watch what they say..." but in this case it's the surveys fault for presenting misleading information. Considering 75% of people say casual sex is at least "sometimes" acceptable (from a slightly more legitimate source), I h…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 02:16 AM
-1

PC police on patrol.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 01:36 AM
2

Only 8% of women have sex within thr first three dates. So nah. Based on what? I'm calling bullshit. Need a source for that one—also is this across the board for women of all demographics? Like are we including Somalians Somalis and Mormons in this mix? Of my (over 15) N-count, I can name on mutilated hand the number of women who waited till past date three to have sex. Assuming uniform distribution that would make me some kind of God of Luck. And believe me, I'm not.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 01:35 AM
0

That's averaging about 2 a year if 15 by 30. Numbers so low the incels who bitch about sexless men would have a heart-attack. I wonder if the same people who set this number also complain about the sexless men BoogeyMan...
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 12:41 AM
1

That's a bit early for relationship potential I would say. The bar's pretty standard for this though, right? We get along, we could friends, we have similar life goals. That's momentum with potential. "Potential" doesn't mean I know already I want to commit, it just means it's on the right track for that possibly happening. Many of my friends did, too. I would say conservative, but no longer very religious. If I wait more than 4-5 dates the women I'm dating usually start to grow concerned/feel I…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/21 11:57 PM
3

Yeah, no. That's not serious dating. Sure it is. It's been that way for me. Men don't tend to take this type of interaction for a potentially serious relationship maker. I'm a man. Of the women I've wanted to commit to, we also had sex within the first 3-4 dates. yeah I might be biased based on personal experiences. Yeah this isn't an insult but you have no idea what the dating landscape is. Sex happens early, unless you're religious or very conservative, regardless of whether or not you're afte…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/21 11:19 PM
1

I would absolutely cold approach in a cafe or supermarket if I found her immediately physically attractive. But that happens rarely for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/21 10:47 PM
2

Do you think *[incredibly, often unapproachable] beautiful women don’t do coffee runs, go to the grocery store, get gas, etc? Of course they do, but incredibly beautiful women (the ones too hot to approach) are rare to come by as it is. Crossing paths in organic settings happens very rarely. I most commonly see them in groups at bars/clubs (as I walk past, clubs/bars are not my scene) or out to dinner for a birthday thing/bachelorette (not exactly approachable settings either). Once I crossed pa…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/21 10:45 PM
1

but if you don't start slowing down in your 30's, you're just not that into commitment. This strikes me as a little low-balling/unrealistic. How many people, on average, does it take to meet someone we actually want to commit to? And how long does it take to establish that we want to do that? I'd argue it takes 2-3 months to know for sure, and probably around 10-20 people who start out with that potential but don't go the distance before meeting someone who does. So in that time you could date 1…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/21 10:40 PM
-1

because most men over like n=15 are just trash people. :(
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/21 10:31 PM
2

But it definitely seems to be true - my most gorgeous, model-like friends are almost never approached Intuitively nearly everyone understands the social currency extreme beauty brings. Ultimately that leaves only the select few of men with enough self-confidence or enough delusion to think they have a shot to approach. I also notice the most attractive women usually run in large circles of other attractive women rather than more approachable settings like cafes or intramural sports. I would 10/1…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/21 07:04 PM
3

But you’re telling me that you’ve never seen a guy, even just on here, bitching about how the girls he’s attracted to won’t lower their standards? Then it comes out that the guy only wants thin, beautiful girls who have TONS of options? It's the entire reason I mock incels and don't have sympathy for them. 9/10 members of their community fall under choosing beggars. If the "real" incels (guys literally so helpless they can't get anyone) would curate out the whiny babies, my tone (and it sounds l…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/21 07:00 PM
1

I agree they aren't bad boys, but are they even pretty boys? I take "pretty boys" to be men with aesthetic but nonetheless masculine faces. Like Paul Walker or Pierce Brosnan. These k pop fellas are just straight up "pretty" in a more feminine way (from what I see, anyway). Does fame and status really have that much sway? (Checkmate BlackPill?)
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/21 06:54 PM
2

And how much did you overlook through willful ignorance (i.e. subscribing to the "women are wonderful" fallacy) that your mother potentially did to dig at your father that wore down him down that made him that way? Nothing. He fell into a meth addiction you ignorant cunt. And he readily admits it was entirely his fault for doing that. Watching how hard you'll hamster to villainize someone you've never met and know nothing about, can't imagine what kind of relationships you have with women but I …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/21 09:41 AM
2

Yep. 100%
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/21 09:38 AM
3

With this evidence for the court to see, I rest my case, your honor.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/21 09:37 AM
1

Especially when x and y could mean different things to different people of either gender! Why would you ever enter into a relationship with someone who so miserably fails to understand you on a fundamental level? Yeah well i have to go every day worrying about being cheated on because of things that happened to friends and family incl my friend i discussed. But that's a personal problem. Yes, it is. It's a sucky thing that happened but if you project that fear onto anyone and everyone you're set…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/21 05:24 AM
2

What about all those femme-type K-pop stars that women seem to drool over? Or do you mean bad boys use masculinity for their appeal?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/21 04:23 AM
3

Not objectively or conventionally. I think when men display features that women find attractive, they're broadcasted to his appearance as well, so even if he doesn't look all that good, in their minds, he's "totes hawt" and they'll gawk gawk that phat kawk. Yep. In my mostly unsubstantiated opinion women judge looks based on how a guy makes them feel whereas guys do it in the opposite direction. That's why men like Tom Hiddleston and Adam Driver could be seen as "totes hawtt." Edit: Obviously th…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/21 04:15 AM
9

Yeah I'm also only 5'8", and while I'm not exactly "nerdy looking" the no-fucks given/easy-going attitude has always served me well. Only got better once I started focus on being charismatic.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/21 04:10 AM
2

Appreciate the assist. Was looking for that stat but feeling lazy.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/21 02:24 AM
1

It is neither misogyny nor AWALT, rather, an observation of the flip side of men leaving sick women. If it's neither AWALT or misogyny, then you should recognize this imagined woman who hates vulnerability in men is quite rare in the wild. I fully recognize men are even worse in this sense. And would you say most men leave someone they love when they're sick? Because I wouldn't. I'd say it's a minority. So already we're talking about a minority of people. This "risk" you mention of hiding who yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 10:42 PM
1

This is a common phrase in regards to dating, do you agree with it? Absolutely. What might be some reasons one would be against this idea, and they would rather be in a crappy relationship that is unfulfilling than be single? Pretty simple: their disdain for the label "single," desire for security, or their desire to do arbitrary "couple things" with literally just "someone" outweighs the misery of being with the wrong person. See: mail-order brides, gold-diggers, desperate men and women trying …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 09:29 PM
1

I'm sorry, i think this is the women are wonderful effect in direct action with you. No bro this is an expectation for basic human respect. If anyone bails on you for having a very natural reaction (sadness to the death of a family member) they are fucked in the head. To the contrary, you suggesting anything else is some major form of either misogyny or fearful AWALT. I don't know what. But it's insane—I'm not being dramatic—to suggest that it is a normal expectation that a woman might up and le…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 09:03 PM
2

Yes but partner count is not normally distributed. Where are you getting this information? But hey everyone who disagrees with you must be an idiot right? Just some.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 08:52 PM
1

50% of all relationships start on OLD now. That stat is inflated because it includes things like friending on FB or following on IG/TikTok. Even then, it still only makes up 50% of all newly formed relationships. Accounting for all dating dynamics using this—especially by neglecting sites like eHarmony and Christian Mingle in the mix—is still a disingenuous view of the dating landscape.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 08:51 PM
3

Even with the imbalance you still get very different distributions of rated physical attractiveness which is the key factor in OLD Can't say anything definitive unless we have a sample that controls for gender imbalance. Also, the OkC blog post every incel loves to quote points out that women care less about looks. Though they rate men lower than medium more often, they still go ahead and message these men first far more often. Besides, when you have this gender imbalance you have to ask questio…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 11:29 AM
2

... do you not understand how normal distributions work? But, yep, guys I know all have a reasonable spread of casual (or dating) sex when they want it
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 11:08 AM
1

Dating is continuously shifting towards OLD so I wouldn't be surprised that the online trends would have major impact on the general outcome. And yet the causal explanation for 80/20 is the gender imbalance in OLD. Which can't happen if "everyone" is on them.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 10:39 AM
1

Lol the fucking internet incels and their goddamn 80/20. You realize that's only related to Tinder data right? Give me a real reason to think this would be skewed.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 10:25 AM
1

In one scenario one emotion might be appropriate to one but not the other. Sometimes misinterpretations happen. Ok but a reasonable person rarely misinterprets, and is forgiving of both themselves and their partner when misinterpretation happens. Their reasonableness is what makes it a non-issue. Hard disagree This is again why I think you have some misunderstanding of the terminology and why we're likely talking over each other. True vulnerability is sharing childhood trauma. Not always. It dep…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 09:58 AM
4

Guess I'm an idiot. Yep. I have quite a few female friends and acquaintances. I'm also quite observant. I've seen how women act in the presence of visually attractive men. Oh yes, this is exactly how a person who regularly goes outside and engages with the opposite sex speaks about these things.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 09:52 AM
3

Why would you expect this?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 09:51 AM
1

In other words: they probably would've swiped left on me on a dating app and I would've been labelled as "unattractive." Yet these women definitely considered me attractive after getting to know me better. How we carry ourselves matter so much in this. As a vertically challenged 5'8" dude I suspect it works against me on apps too. But in-person women of all heights crush hard. I've developed crushes/feelings for women who I wasn't really attracted to when I first met them but as I realized how c…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 05:10 AM
8

Can we clarify something that is important? This 20% everyone is bitching about is specifically about physical attractiveness—that is, the gut reaction to immediate visual cues. That is not the same as "attraction" as a whole. And as someone else pointed out, any data I've seen has always been about online dating, which is rife with issues in terms of being representative. Yes, women are going to be attracted initially less often, and physical looks factors in to this. But only an idiot would th…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 04:51 AM
1

Lol “angry sexually repressed age” nice ad hom. Thanks, I've got more for anyone who repeatedly fails to debate productively. I’m happily married thanks. You're married but you argue like a teenager? Your poor wife.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 03:24 AM
1

I’m saying there wasn’t a higher level of it back then either. I didn't say "higher level" either. Jesus Christ. I said "better." As in "I like the manners of that era more." How old are you that you think that was the case? I've aged out of whatever angsty, sexually-frustrated age you're still in that you spent comment after comment failing to understand and yet insisting you knew what you were talking about. You used to be able to really bully the shit out of people way harsher back in the day…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 03:14 AM
1

People didn’t have a higher expectation of respect either Sure they did. What do you think "etiquette" is?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 03:02 AM
1

People weren’t more respectful towards each other in the 50s "[T]o the etiquette and expectation of respect towards others." Can you spot the difference between these two notions or will I have to spell it out? There was more crime, more violence, more hate back then. That can simultaneously be true. Not sure why you think it's a mutual exclusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 03:00 AM
1

When I said "I meant manners more in the sense of social graces," I was referring, specifically, to the etiquette and expectation of respect towards others (yes, this did not cover across race lines, which I already said is a problem). Removing your hat indoors, making an effort for presentation in public, etc. Though I knew you were going to say I misunderstood no matter what I said or how accurately I nailed it So you still aren't interested in coming to an understanding. You want to be a cont…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 02:37 AM
1

People were more authentic in their interactions Nope. Not even close to what I was referring to. and dressed better Entirely a subjective position (I've got my opinion and you've got yours), but far and away only a small part of what I was talking about. So once again I'm going to ask you, "Are you interested in coming to an understanding of what I meant, or just preaching/venting?" Because at the moment it's really hard to take you seriously with your know-it-all attitude yet inability to corr…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 02:18 AM
0

No really people can both understand you and mock you. It’s very possible So much confidence. Summarize what I meant, then. Prove you know what you're talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 02:12 AM
1

Don't you think it's probably normally distributed though? In which case, it won't matter much.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 02:11 AM
0

I can both understand what you meant Apparently not. and mock you for being wrong. So, you choose to rant then.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 02:05 AM
-1

Are you interested in coming to an understanding of what I meant, or just preaching/venting?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 01:45 AM
2

Like they were so polite, they wouldn't even let black people eat at the counter and they had to come in the back way if they were allowed in at all. "I'm not one to over-romanticize the past," AKA there was a lot of other very shitty things about back then. I think you might have fallen for the golden ages fallacy. "I'm not one to over-romanticize the past."
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/21 11:13 PM
2

Hard to disagree with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/21 11:12 PM
9

T-shirts and jeans weren't much different in the 1950s. I'd argue they were different enough. These days graphic Ts and baggier jeans detract from the aesthetic. You can choose to pick fashionable jeans and Ts, but there's a wide spectrum from appealing to appalling available. these guys weren't particularly well behaved. Heh, nice. But I meant manners more in the sense of social graces. Not "politeness" but more the song-and-dance of how people engaged with one another, if that makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/21 08:38 PM
41

Leaner, more athletic, better sense of fashion and dress, better manners. I'm not one to over-romanticize the past but previous generations definitely did a few things better than we do now.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/21 07:29 PM
1

If she believes I'm being needy then i am. But if that were true, why would you choose to be with someone who would punish you for a healthy expression of emotions? Ah but that's the rub. Emotional intimacy is different from showing vulnerability. It is, but you can't have intimacy without vulnerability. I believe i am emotionally intimate with my gf because i share my hopes and dreams and likes and dislikes and views and everything. That's literally a part of vulnerability bro. The only differe…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/21 07:19 AM
1

The problem with FDS is they don't, as relationship partners, offer what women offered when "The Rules" were a thing... not even close. What's your evidence for this? And even "The Rules" has been out of favor for quite some time now because they (much like FDS) don't work for anything except keeping women single in the current social climate... and that's not because of the men.. it's because of he lack of the lopsided double-standards women are demanding when it comes to committed relationship…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/21 07:14 AM
0

You had (have) a lot of internalized misandry because your mother chose of her own autonomous free will to be with shitty men instead of choosing to be with better men Or... they started off good but turned shitty/hid their shittyness for years. I watched it happen. You lost me once you decided to be a judgmental crybaby without any insights into my actual home life. Think on that the next time you want to argue about things you don't know personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/21 07:13 AM
1

Again, we have no clue how many of those men are really only getting sex once every two months and bumping it to every month. What the hell are you saying here? "Here's data that proves men are sexless!.... But actually don't trust what they're saying!" Either the study is reliable, or it isn't. But switching lanes when it suits you is not a very effective way to argue your case. You are being completely oblivious to flaws studies can have here. Either crying has causal force or it doesn't. Even…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 11:15 PM
2

You are trying to use a group with married men to counter an example with men being in the 25~ age group. This started with us discussing the "average man" (Contradiction 3: Demographic data that shows most average men are in satisfying relationships with regular sex). If the median age of marriage is 30, then the "average man" is married after 30, and getting regular sex. I don't see how any of these details help your case that the average man is wholly miserable and unloved. Like I said, this …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 07:26 PM
1

Exactly. If this were two open minds coming to the table and willing to trade knowledge to see what fits best, I’d have faith in the exchange. But this isn’t that. Having dealt with depression in my past, it has a way of distorting all thoughts and beliefs to fit the narrative you want already. No amount of counter evidence will change that, as you actively only seek out evidence that confirms the existing belief. There’s no winning against that.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 07:09 PM
2

No, actually I only discovered PPD because I casually heard about FDS first and browsed their sub out of curiosity. I’ve got mixed feelings about the community at large, but I actually mostly agree with their sidebar. Saw them mention PPD, got bored following them, and then found my way into here where I formed my own opinions on things. Not sure what the comment snippet was supposed to prove. As I said, the community at large (and any Reddit community that gets big enough) is full of people who…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 06:14 PM
1

.... Do you even math, bro? If the "Chads" are already cleaning up the competition, they won't have enough bandwidth to get all the women they're currently with, if more attractive women come into the pool. It's just not physically possibly.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 11:12 AM
-1

But those men won't choose them if they've got too many more appealing options already at their fingertips. See how that works, even in made-up hypergamy land?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 10:55 AM
1

70% of men are having sex at least once per year. Would you like me to break it down further for you? Of the men under age 25, at least 50% are having sex 1-3 times per month or more. In fact, 37% are having sex weekly. Of men across all ages (18-44), 47% are having sex weekly or more. At least 50% of men above the age of 25 are doing so. I really hope you don't in good faith believe having sex at least once per year is at all regular. Seriously ? Let's talk about "good faith" and ask what you t…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 10:54 AM
1

Almost all of my friends (im doing my mba in one of the most liberal cities in america) are surface-feminists who believe that they should show their emotions to the world and that it's unhealthy to bottle up (and they may be right! Idk). Ok but white collar MBAs are equally not representative of all men. As an engineer and businessman i think about things a bit more abstractly I'm also an engineer, I don't see the ambiguity. It all comes down to intention. The benefit to sharing my emotions wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 10:26 AM
1

But I can just come back with another, more specific claim, that shows 1 in 3 young men are having no sex https://news.iu.edu/stories/2020/06/iub/releases/15-sexual-inactivity-young-men-united-states-no-sex-debby-herbenick.html Only men under 25 Only gauging sex over the last year 1/3 (bottom 30th percentile) not having sex means 2/3 (top 70 percentile) are having sex. The "average" man would fall in the 50th percentile, meaning average men are having sex. My point here is you are trying to allu…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 06:25 AM
1

And that's probably why women very very often misunderstand healthy emotional expression by a man as to be weakness or emotional vomiting, like the OP said happened. Maybe sometimes, but I think the opposite is more commonly true: men hear of someone who was emotionally vomiting getting rejected and assume any form of emotional expression is equally unattractive. I don't think women choose to be unattracted to neediness. It just happens, it's a visceral biological response. The healthiest ideal …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 06:05 AM
1

When you sit there and type a message to me you don't care about all the different technologies that make it work. Well, I do, but that's because it's my career to. There's no need to go around trying to force people to read your facts when most people just want something that works. Well, look, we don't disagree on what most people want. So let's just resolve that. But I'm talking about whether or not what people want is rational or effective. And it isn't. Chasing the "something that works" is…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 05:47 AM
1

What does "contradict" mean here ? "If women only date men based on looks and are picky, then the average man has no hope." Contradiction 1: [Study that shows women don't date solely based on looks] Contradiction 2: [Evidence that shows women are not as picky as implied] Contradiction 3: Demographic data that shows most average men are in satisfying relationships with regular sex (Contradicts the conclusion, so the premise must be false). Yet no matter which tack I take, the logic never sticks w…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 05:43 AM
1

But dating apps are designed to favor pump and dump type of interactions. They probably are by default, sure. But I'm saying women have the potential to game against that, whereas I don't think men do. The profile emphasizes large photos with small bios. Who thrives here ? Guys who can give off a hot or inviting vibe and are very clever or charming with words. The fuck boys. I also agree. I suppose I should say that, alongside vetting better, women should choose apps that put more emphasis on in…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 05:22 AM
1

it's not a valid comparison to make between anti-vaxxers and redpill/blackpill because vaccines are backed by double blind controlled studies, I could show them real studies with significant results that contradict RP and BlackPill claims. Will they take them seriously, I wonder? the golden standard of scientific research Eh, "gold standard" is a stretch. It's useful for identifying environmental factors independent of placebo. But completely irrelevant for anything behavioral or psychological (…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 05:20 AM
1

It has nothing to do with facts. Just provide something that works ........... Then, it has everything to do with facts. Otherwise I can make up a lovely fictional story that "works." Nobody cares about whatever facts justify your dating strategy if it works. But this is a terrible way to operate in the world. It just "works" that Karen's kids don't get smallpox even though they didn't get vaccinated. But the fact is, it "works" for her because she's a fucking idiot who was lucky enough to live …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 05:15 AM
1

What do you define as good ? Someone they'd enjoy being with and would want to commit to. Who will commit to them. As per the comment you replied to, women seem to be attracting men that are attractive and have sex, but then ghost them. I suspect some of this is poor vetting. Not placing the blame squarely in women's lap. But honestly, for all the shit FDS gets, it's a good strategy when online dating for at least vetting against the pump-n-dumpers.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 05:10 AM
2

You have a very privileged and very narrow sphere of experience. Period. You can think otherwise, but you're just flat-out wrong. Most men live lives of quiet desperation, in marriages they kinda hate, to women who kinda hate them. Luckier ones aren't hated, but get a fraction of the sex they want. The notion that the fact that most men get married means they are, "getting on fine with women," is laughable on its face. No ranting. None of what you said is anything I can argue against, other than…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 05:09 AM
-1

Just present an alternative that actually works. It doesn't work because they're so far down their own depressive spiral they refuse to see facts. I could point to facts until I'm blue in the face but anti-vaxxers and flat-earthers will hold their ground. Why is that? It's not for lack of facts. Until you can do that they will just keep growing in numbers. Anti-vaxxers grow in numbers every day. Appeals to popularity on their own don't reflect factuality.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 04:57 AM
1

strawming*
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 04:38 AM
0

Using words will help people take you more seriously.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 04:29 AM
1

I'm of the opinion that women have more potential to match with good partners online—provided they know how to construct an appealing profile and vet their matches accordingly. A man can max these out but is still upper limited by competition of numbers, which grows exponentially the more attractive he "shoots for." If fewer men made the experience miserable, and more women knew how to leverage OLD to their advantage, it would probably lead to better numbers and better results overall.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 04:02 AM
2

men who actively oppose philosophies/tools like blackpill, RP, or trad ideas, get a lot of female attention/admiration nowadays. It boosts attractive points Yeah there's some strong virtue-signalling boost when voicing anti-RP sentiments. Ideally it's said because it's the truth, but in any case at least the opposing views maintain mainstream traction and appeal.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 03:39 AM
-1

Exactly. And this is largely a self-imposed misery. If men backed off the apps and let more women join, or women felt it was more in their interest to join, it would be better for everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 03:38 AM
1

You're contrasting terms emotionally open and needy and saying expressing emotions without just vomiting them on someone is healthy. That's (mostly) right. I am saying that many women do the emotion vomiting and men put up with it in a way that women don't. Fair enough. I suspect "emotional vomiting" is a more feminine trait, and hence why men will accept it where women won't.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 03:19 AM
2

I think it's probably better for most people's mental health to continue to believe blue-pilled delusions, the black pill is pretty depressing and I certainly wish I didn't believe in it. Part of "depressive thinking" includes irrational beliefs. The Black Pill is irrational because it's patently counter-factual. It has nothing to do with fee-fees. This is about facts and reality. I feel the same way about the blue pill. The blue pill isn't a movement. Hell, it isn't even coherent. People who ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 02:25 AM
0

Granted, IMO the most popular movement will be black pill due to how important looks will become as the SMP gets more and more online oriented. Don't you think it will instead hit equilibrium? The reason it's so looks-based right now is because of the huge gender imbalance on the apps. Remove that, and now people pair off much more equally.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 02:10 AM
1

It's pretty obviously correct Not only is it not correct, it is obviously not correct. Why? It scares me because it's a text book way of depressive thinking. Negative (irrational and fact-resistant) thought patterns that are self-affirmed with confirmation biases, becoming increasingly harmful and radicalized, until you get Santa Barbara shooters. It scares me because, like flat earth and anti-vaxx, the people who hold the beliefs are convinced they're true, and remain immovable in their ability…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 02:01 AM
2

TRP was always intended for a "niche" of men, but a very large niche: The Average Frustrated Chump™. "[M]ost men don't have these dramatic problems with women TRP men complain about." This "average frustrated chump" is not as pervasive as TRP makes it out to be, is my point. You can call it the bulk of men or you can call it men frustrated with their attraction with women, but you can't call it both—because it isn't. The bulk of men don't face this issue. The Average Frustrated Chump™. The AFC i…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 01:58 AM
8

Being whipped usually referred to someone already in a relationship. Pretty sure it just means being overly invested in a woman full stop. But I won't fight too hard on semantics because I think we would agree, more importantly, the ecosystem has changed quite a bit. Back in the 50s there wasn't really any chance to be pussy-whipped unless you were dating/in a relationship already anyway. Anything else was just called "manners" and was built into etiquette for male-female dynamics. These days th…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 01:54 AM
18

Men are much, much, much more emotionally guarded and aware of simping than they were a decade ago Are they? Before they called it "simping" it was about being "pussy whipped" and guys were always shamed about that. I suspect many people on PPD suspect the evolution they perceive is really just a reframing of things that have always been around, always been in the collective social conscious. but there's 100 other groups of lonely men lashing out or wallowing in self pity on the internet, they j…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 12:24 AM
7

I think blackpill (men) That scares me. FDS (women) I'd say it's more a revival, since The Rules were basically pre FDS and quite mainstream for a long time.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 12:22 AM
2

Since I'm also BP, I agree with this outline, but I'll try a different tack: Not only will TRP not take off because it isn't the only way, it won't take off because most men don't have these dramatic problems with women TRP men complain about. As far as I can tell, it was always meant to be niche because it's for niche men who struggle particularly with women and attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 12:18 AM
1

All I said was that you do well at Disney in their fairy tale section. Not all you said. "I was talking about how you were propping up a Disney fantasy story in being vulnerable and how women supposedly have no problems with it." But I love the back-pedalling. No you haven't used your words and ask. “'Studies show this' yet you provide no studies" is an obvious invitation to put your money where your mouth is. But if you need it spelled out real simple: Where are the studies? By the way I am not…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 11:21 PM
1

You are free to think that, but you be wrong. Much like you are wrong on the whole baseless accusations seeing I didn't accuse you of anything. All I said was you where propping up a Disney fairy tale. It's rare I can be impressed, but this is an impressive level of cowardly evasion. Either what I said is false (I'm lying) or it's true (I'm not propping any fairy tale up). If it's false, I'm asking for a justified reason besides your fee-fees telling you what to think. If it's true then you have…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 10:38 PM
1

“Propping up a Disney fantasy” is the same as saying I’m lying. So apparently you didn’t piece together my last reply, but I already pointed out that baseless accusations are not really counter arguments. “Studies show this” yet you provide no studies. “Women don’t really want this” yet I have my own experiences that say otherwise. You don’t know how to debate, chief. These rants you make are the farthest thing from convincing to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 09:16 PM
0

A real counter-argument. "You're lying" is a counter-argument, but it's an all-time shitty one if you don't have any evidence to back it up. It amounts to "I don't like what I'm reading so I'll just assume it isn't true."
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 08:28 PM
5

So as for this sub, how can someone reach coherent conclusions, generalizations, and whatever other analysis that take place here without dating success? Obviously someone with no success or experience whatsoever doesn't have a lot of credibility, even if they manage to spit facts. But an even more prescient question is whether experience alone gives you authority on a subject, and to what extent. When I read your example, do you know what I think? I think that guy really is great at picking up …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 07:44 PM
0

One comment before we were disagreeing on the meanings of these words. I’m not about to just agree to a new sweeping generalization without more detail. What does “needy” mean to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 06:47 PM
10

Yeah that’s not vulnerability though. That’s being emotionally needy. Vulnerability is an act of sharing, not leaning. You can lean sometimes, but that’s independent of vulnerability.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 09:36 AM
5

That’s a whole lot of words to say “I don’t have a real counter argument”
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 09:35 AM
9

This discussion would have been better if OP gave specific examples of what he meant by "being vulnerable". I agree, because I suspect (and which is why I added a caveat in my first reply to OP) his definition of "vulnerable" isn't a helpful or accurate one. What you're describing to me sounds like normal bonding people do as they get to know each other. Yes but it's also the well-understood meaning of the word when used in common discussion about these things. Brene Brown is considered an autho…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 06:22 AM
10

Being transparent in your current feelings, beliefs, and thoughts. A willingness to share the feelings, beliefs, and thoughts that are controversial or private. edit: To clarify, it's different from oversharing or neediness.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 05:52 AM
6

I think there has to have been serious change and passing of time. "Oh shit I fucked up last week take me back!" is a sign of immaturity and lacking self-awareness. But "I remember what we had years ago, and I wasn't ready/aware/mature enough to be right for that relationship; now I am" is definitely worth considering, especially if there's action to back it. My guy friends saying I am being cruel to men Ask them what's cruel about giving someone exactly what they asked for and following through…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 05:12 AM
2

Yep!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 01:42 AM
9

I still am making the point that most women even those who prefer vulnerability won't accept it 6 months. Based on what then? How do you account for my differing experience? Either I'm lying, others are mistaken, or I'm doing something different than what others are doing. That's the only options of explanation for our differing notes. All I'll say is I've got Mark Manson, Brene Brown, and heaps of others that say time and again that being vulnerable (a) improves your dating experience and (b) i…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 01:10 AM
15

If you're arguing that I, or other men should pursue women okay with vulnerability in the first 6 months of a relationship, then that's delusional and unrealistic. I'm a man and this is what I do with all my dates, and 95%+ of them have fallen more for me because of it. Just read Models dude, it's all in there. Even on PPD the women who are okay will with male vulnerability, and prefer it, will still argue you a good reason, and you need to have been in a relationship for long enough for them to…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 12:58 AM
3

Mark Manson, for one.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 12:40 AM
23

But the reality is, these women don't stick out, there isn't a "type" of woman who is disgusted by male vulnerability, and this isn't to say all women don't like male vulnerability, the problem is the women who can tolerate it, and the women who can't, are functionally identical. You already lost me here. I've been able to pick up women who love emotional vulnerability on the regular. It's not hard. It's just like sussing out promiscuity or types or anything else relationship-preference oriented…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 12:38 AM
1

It would have to be unique views, but we still only have hourly, daily, and monthly, we could try and make a trendline to determine weekly. If we have daily that's more granular and "faithful" members anyway. But yeah otherwise you need to do some adhoc processing to get unique weekly actives. I just mean any survey is going to representative of people who took that survey, it’s sort of tautological. Eh that's a bit too simplistic of what my point actually was, but we can avoid the semantic deba…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/21 05:01 AM
30

I have no idea because that's never been the case for me. When I break up with someone, it's over and I don't look back. Getting dumped on the other hand.... that's rough. It's possible that guys who regret breaking up thought the grass would be greener without her and realize after they were wrong, maybe it comes down to a lack of their own introspection.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/21 04:09 AM
2

That's not a good way to predict the number. What you really need is access to subreddit traffic stats where you use the number of uniques per week. We can go even deeper. Weekly actives who have real engagement with the sub (upvotes, post views, commenters). Unfortunately, this doesn't exist and you have to create a trendline from the average hourly, daily, and monthly stats. I am positive admins have these stats. But we will never see them. As for "skipping" the survey post you can use (roughy…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/21 04:03 AM
3

Yes but within limits. I don’t care if she makes six figures or went to a top-20 school, but I’ll admit I’m far less likely to pursue if she’s a bartender or hairdresser. That could change if she’s getting a higher degree or has an education but just loves hair styling, for example. It’s less about class and more about ambition, drive, self determination, life experiences, marketable skills. But of course, all else being equal, a strong dual income is way better than not, so career will definite…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/21 10:02 PM
1

And less than 0.5% of all subscribers according to the sidebar. A better name for these results should be A Demographic Breakdown of PPD Users Who Are Willing to Take a Random Survey.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/21 07:21 PM
1

I’m none of those things and am pro-feminism. I’d say at least a few of my friends are, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/21 05:23 PM
1

I waffle on the disease one. It depends a lot on what it is and how disruptive to an ordinary relationship it can be. Celiacs is different from finding out about a Stage IV brain tumor on a first date. Interesting how otherwise we have basically the same except for opposite political beliefs.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/21 05:22 PM
1

Ok, this is pure bullshit. If you'd known, your comment would have been completely different. You sound confused. I'm not sure how to help you other than to repeat myself. So feel free to read my previous comments at your leisure until you sort it out. You're the guy who bragged about how he knew Science and was so disappointed everyone else here didn't, then whiffed on two blatantly basic principles of statistics while lecturing other commenters here. If your memory is this imaginative it's no …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/21 09:27 AM
0

I said it was representative of other studies. As in, even professionally executed and published surveys look like this a lot of the time. Show me even one academically vetted source that's as skewed yet would claim to be representative. Might want to edit your comment based on that, since it invalidates your premise here. No, I knew what you were saying the first time. A large part of the problem is that social sciences took a hard turn away from pre-existing peer review standards way back in t…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/21 09:14 AM
1

Eh, most white papers account for at least some sampling bias and mention their failures to be perfectly representative (e.g. a lot of studies are mostly Caucasian, mostly university students, etc.). And I’m sorry but no, PPD is full of weirdos and internet nerds. Nothing about this is representative. It’s not even 50/50 men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/21 08:47 AM
4

I'm sorry you forgot what an LTR was for the moment you thought you were making a killer point.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/21 02:19 AM
5

Also... has he never heard of a "girlfriend" before? A guy can become very sexually competent being with one person for an extended period of time. In fact that's probably more effective than a string of casuals because a long-term partner will have more incentive and comfort to be fully honest and ask for exactly what she wants.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/21 02:02 AM
2

Doubt it I know you do, that was never in contention. I'm just saying the science isn't there to support it (yet? ever? We don't know). Even the source you supplied admits this. why would I put up with my partners watching naked strangers fuck each other because hey 'it might not lead to addiction right away' I agree. Personally I see porn watching in a committed relationship as infidelity, so I think it's a perfectly reasonable boundary to set. I just don't abstain while I'm in my "off seasons"…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/21 01:49 AM
3

Researchers found less gray matter in the brains of men who watched large amounts of sexually explicit material, according to a new study. The research... could not determine if porn actually caused the brain to shrink however, and the authors called for additional study on the topic. ... "Individuals with lower striatum volume may need more external stimulation to experience pleasure and might therefore experience pornography consumption as more rewarding, which may in turn lead to" more porn w…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/21 12:18 AM
1

Yeah I think we can accept it for completely unsubstantiated discourse. But the skeptic in me couldn't use these results for any meaningful conclusions.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/21 12:00 AM
2

I have numerous doubts into the representative sampling for things exactly like this. But, (uselessly) intuitively I suspect it's fairly representative anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/21 11:59 PM
1

It shrinks the grey matter in the brain, rewiring it to a more primitive state I haven't seen concrete science on this that goes beyond speculation from anti-porn advocates. and funds human trafficking and the exploitation of women. Right, this is the bigger issue, which is why I'm very selective in what I view (e.g. bellesa) and prefer erotica. Women who have gone missing have been found on pornhub being raped, I wouldn't be willing to compromise on that. It's majorly fucked.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/21 11:33 PM
0

The 2021 Survey results just came back and to the shock and awe of nobody, it's full of men under the age of 24. That might explain it. not wanting a guy who watches porn is seen as an extreme and unrealistic expectation on mine lmao. For the record, I watch porn when I'm single (and only as a supplemental to erotica, which is my preference) but when I want to commit to someone I cut it out entirely. I don't think it's unrealistic, even in the more extreme case of a guy who never watches porn or…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/21 11:25 PM
7

Only 327 responses makes me wonder if the results are truly representative of the community at large. But, this is the best we got so may as well wildly speculate. The 18-24 demo suddenly makes things so much clearer to me (again, assuming it's representative).
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/21 11:05 PM
9

Comes from an intact family (married parents and no step-people). Ruling out ~50% of your pool over something they, as children, had no say in. Why is this a standard? Not to mention some very shitty people stay married while some very good people get divorced. It seems like a long list but it's literally just the most basic things that are necessary to make cohabiting and sexual monogamy work for 50+ years Nah. Most of my friends from divorced families are just as committed and faithful—sometim…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/21 10:58 PM
8

Another thing to consider is there are "unrealistic" and "narrow" standards. Unrealistic standards are things that you don't also bring to the table. For example, all else equal, a homely looking fellow wanting a supermodel looking woman just because he thinks he's "nice." Contrast that to a "narrow" standard. For example, a supermodel looking man who also has many other high quality things going on and wants a supermodel looking woman with compatible qualities herself. This isn't unrealistic, b…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/21 10:56 PM
2

In fact, I have never met an attractive male feminist, ever Keep looking. I've also never met a man who found a woman funny. Also keep looking. I have never met a guy, ever, who was a financially stable, fit, handsome male feminist who would turn down a good looking financially stable woman because she didn't make him laugh. I agree, but a similar sense of humor can also mean "laughs at my jokes"
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/21 10:51 PM
2

What do you know, matching soul mates on Reddit ;).
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/21 06:55 PM
1

That gives me hope.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/21 06:54 PM
4

Me: Male, 30. Standards for LTR: Very pretty face Fit, Takes care of herself physically (especially into fit blondes) feminine family-oriented and wants kids emotionally intelligent curious about the world/likes learning/can hold a good conversation loyal, faithful, committed, honest, etc. Similar morals/values Non-smoker, minimal drug use, minimal to no partying (like me) Physically affectionate/good kisser/great sexual chemistry Fun loving/good sense of humor Has her life in order and knows wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/21 10:26 AM
2

Ok then yeah I agree. A super gorgeous but super cold narcissistic woman will still royally turn me off. A very feminine woman I still find physically attractive but who may be less so than aforementioned super hot woman will much more strongly pull me.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/21 05:30 PM
5

You have a point, but I don't think it has as much pull as you'd suggest. When I think back to the women I was most attracted to, they were all hyper-feminine. That cutesy, girlish, playful, affectionate vibe does my head in every time. But, it's more of an amplifier than a determinant. There have also been hyper feminine women who just didn't take care of themselves enough or didn't pull me in on a visual level, and I couldn't bring myself to be more attracted to them. So looks is the baseline …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/21 10:20 AM
1

Do you know what the word "tier" means? Just how fucking dumb are you? ReeEeEeeEE
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/21 01:48 AM
2

Sounds like textbook avoidant types. As soon as you let them in they’ll flee again. Nothing to do with you. PPD probably isn’t the best place to get advice about ghosting because most people on here are far too reductionist about what makes someone stick around
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 11:05 PM
2

the 6'8 already puts him in the upper 10% of guys women want No most women see this as far too tall. The same exact studies people on PPD use to talk about women't preferences for height show that there's a pretty precipitous dropoff after 6'3" in terms of "too tall." Probably more right about the career and age, but this is also far too reductionist. Like it's just silly to predict a person's motives from three pieces of demographic information. The reasons are endless why someone could ghost t…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 10:58 PM
1

I'm not convinced it's always benching. I've never once gone back to someone I already rejected—although I also never ghost. I imagine the type of person who ghosts already isn't exactly a bastion of character or inner strength to know what they want or how to handle things the right way.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 10:55 PM
0

I didn’t say I went to MIT. I pointed out that MIT is Ivy League tier but isn’t classified as Ivy. You definitely have the autistic anger of someone who took classes at MIT though.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 09:26 PM
1

You realize MIT is not an Ivy League right?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 06:06 PM
5

Nah they’re married to other STEM guys now and make seven figures a year on combined income.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 09:35 AM
3

Men and women grown in Petri dishes
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 08:38 AM
3

Lol yes you are, but I mean the stuff you post is pretty PC so even if someone tied you back to your reddit acct I doubt they will find anything to use against you. They wouldn't, but people are creepy/weird all the same. Then again participating on ppd probably raises eyebrows haha Yeah man my political career ended before it could ever start.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 08:01 AM
3

If you're talking about women specifically, yeah they're probably out banging Chads, like all other women. I mean proper nerd chicks, the ones in my CS classes who wore sweatpants, no makeup, and were 100% about their studies... some were banging the attractive STEM nerds. But most were way too invested in studies to be banging Chads.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 08:01 AM
1

Lol I think you said you went to an Ivy right? For all intents and purposes it's "Ivy" league but it's of those top schools that isn't officially actually "Ivy League." Ill dm you the school on discord but I dont wanna share in public for anonymity I'm way too dumbly liberal with my info even on discord. I'm lucky nobody's doxxed yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 07:44 AM
1

they’re all nerds to you. Totally, but I'm also half just pulling your chain because I'm definitely a (type of) nerd. I differentiate though because I grew up with and am friends with a lot of the 4.0 CS type of nerds (I go to a top 5 CS school) Hang on are we.... fellow alum? let me tell you they are not having lots of sex haha Oh, I know. I'm a CS major. What was interesting, though, was a lot of the women in the CS classes still defaulted to more the emo/artsy types even while being in STEM. …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 07:27 AM
0

Yeah but see that’s the thing STEM nerds and anime/cosplay/emo/alt nerds are two completely different groups. Yeah true. But even so, they're just all "nerds" to me. Like alt nerds have a niche where they relate to each other and fuck each other. I feel like this is a lot of female regulars on reddit. Whereas STEM nerds are basically just normie men who are really high inhibition. And this is the male reddit regulars. Well, those but with some of the weeb/emo mixed in. Basically my point is your…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 07:10 AM
9

Anything involving excessive cosplay or anime shit is a nerd to me. That tends to bundle the engineering kids (minus me because I'm a fucking weirdo engineer) and alt-kids up together nicely.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 07:00 AM
4

We should be friends :)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 05:14 AM
4

Admittedly based on intuition and personal anecdata sourced via my ass, Yeah so I don't know your ass from AOC's ass, which means I have no bearing to believe either of them without data. As far as some actual data there is this study about DT and attractiveness But significant results don't mean there's a majority. A wide variance with some bias can produce stat. sig. correlations without being applicable to a majority. The CIs in Table 5 of the study show correlations as low as 0.0 or even neg…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 04:51 AM
2

Exactly. My actual E score is only 55. I love alone time as much as group time. But questions like "I'm the life of the party" and "I can talk to anyone" were clearly markers for extraversion, yet have nothing to do with how I choose to recharge
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 04:13 AM
3

Conclusion: You have a shitty social circle. I guess we'll live our separate lives, since you appear to express no interest in changing it or believing it can be different.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 04:12 AM
4

I would be comfortable saying that anywhere from 60-75% of women fit AWALT predictions of sexual behavior, meaning that TRP is still the most statistically likely approach to garner results. .... Based on what? I'm not saying that such thots don't exist, and in huge, potentially majority numbers .... Based on what? The median N-count of women over their entire life is 8. that TRPers are well within statistically justifiable reasons for pursuing them. And yet I see no statistics available to us. …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 04:11 AM
1

The friend I just mentioned who dates women I get jealous of is under 5'6".
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 03:41 AM
20

Yeah the alt-nerds are often the most promiscuous bunch I can think of. Even more than the party people. That's why reddit is full of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 03:06 AM
2

I'm blue pill. I'm short (under 5'8"), and do just fine. I have friends shorter by an inch or two who still slay with women—women I'm often envious he gets to date. Every short guy I know struggles hard. Women are shallow as fuck lmao. Ok autist.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 03:04 AM
3

Male ENFJ-A. High extraversion (93), Moderate Conscientiousness (57), High Openness (93), High Agreeableness (93), Very Low Neuroticism (2)—Emotional Stability (98). I feel like they're basically the same to me. Edit: This test was a little funny, as it overestimates my extraversion (I think the questions they use have more to do with social skills than a preference for how to socialize)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 02:55 AM
1

Women don’t want “taller” than them. They want objectively tall. I asked you to show me where this is true of 96% of women. Nothing in your source says anything like this. It says 49% of women prefer men taller than them. Don't shift goal-posts. Admit the bullshit or show me a real source that backs your claim. 5’4” women aren’t interested in dating 5’5” men. Trust me, I’ve asked. I have no reason to trust you. I look at data. 5'5" men marry, and they sometimes marry women taller than themselves…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 02:48 AM
1

Shorter than her. Well let's just get this out of the way right now: I'll only date women "lighter" than me. Unless you're like a few of the people here on PPD, I'm sure that's an unspoken "shallow" standard of yours, too. Now to the real point: The average woman is 5'4". That's the bottom 3.6 percentile for height in men. So less than 4% of men are ruled out by the average woman for his height—assuming she actually honors that filter to its full extent (which isn't true<sup>1</sup> ). 26% of US…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 02:24 AM
1

96% of women would never date a shorter guy. Nope. Feel free to cite which source you clearly misread that from. Because I can tell you right now you're using some key words (e.g. "never") that show you probably can't read white papers correctly. Also, what counts as "shorter" here? Have you walked outside, like, ever? Most men—men of all heights—go on dates with women. And this may come as a surprise to you, but women have to actually agree to the date for it to happen. We cop all the bullshit …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 01:50 AM
1

The overwhelming majority of women are shallow as fuck about height. Don't just preach. Give me a reason to believe you. And it’s not entitled to want to date someone on your level. It’s what dating is all about. I agree. And so I look around and what do I see? Many happy, healthy couples as two equals enjoying life. Sounds like this concern of yours is a non-issue. And yes as a guy I get shamed all the time for not wanting to date lazy obese women with shit loads of baggage Change your social c…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 01:28 AM
1

The difference is women have decent options in men they overlook fir the shallowest of reasons. No, see, you just think that for all women. That's the problem. Rather than painting with a broad brush, I'm telling you, from firsthand talking to many, that a sizeable portion of women do not have decent options available to them—or, rather, the indecent ones perfectly blend in with the decent ones and make it impossible to tell the difference. They are regularly used for sex, under-valued, lied to,…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 01:12 AM
2

This is very true, but I also think that under-recognition of transactionality in romantic relationships I would agree. I think it's important to recognize we all perform a mental calculation of "mate value" when choosing a partner, and this will help us understand who we should "shoot for" and set expectations on how dating someone will play out accordingly. But keeping points or score or viewing the relationship as transactional is guaranteed to be a long-term boner killer unless both of you w…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 01:02 AM
3

Their “problem” is they don’t like their options. That's everybody's problem. Aside from the bottom 0.0001% of human beings, we all have people willing to commit or fuck us. Are you one of those 0.0001%? If not, then even you feeling "invisible" is a misnomer. You're not invisible to everyone, you're just invisible to anyone you'd actually be interested in being intimate with. That’s an infinitely easier “problem” than they don’t have any options and every lonely day just reminds them how margin…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 12:52 AM
3

Some attention at least reminds you that you are alive in the world and people consider you an option. But the point is, they don't consider you an option. Not really. Being truly objectified robs you of feeling human. I'm not asking you to bend over backwards and say they have it worse than you. Being invisible is very shitty. But assuming their lack of pain because they have a very different problem just means you won't understand as much as you could
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/21 11:29 PM
2

Are you a fuck boy? And if not, what are you doing to correct your friends' misconceptions?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/21 07:59 PM
2

We can recognize that we all form subconscious transactional calculations without focusing on it. I don't think it's helpful or valuable to look at relationships transactionally because you'll never be able to read the other person's mind or know exactly what they find most valuable, or by how much. For instance, a love between a mother and child is similarly transactional, but the most toxic parent-child relationships I know are parents who keep a running tally against their kids. In a healthy …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/21 07:56 PM
3

Women still experience lovelessness even if they aren't invisible (and 90+% are not—quite the opposite, in fact—I'll agree with you on that). Most people feel useless to others. Whether that's by being invisible or by being used, the outcome is the same. You can tell me until you're blue in the face that "any attention is good attention," but growing up as a kid with parents who used attention as a manipulation tactic for their own validation, I can tell you that's fundamentally bullshit.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/21 07:25 PM
2

Guys will never truly understand how annoying it is to have people you're not attracted to hit on you each day, forcing you to measure your words and let them down easy so as not to provoke them. I actually have had a (just one, thankfully) situation like this where a female friend just wouldn't let up. It's fucking miserable, and at some point you snap and have to become a complete asshole just to get the point across. Now I was never one to push women to begin with, I know even a lackluster "m…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/21 07:20 PM
4

So, men are supposed to get dates by getting lots of female friends and hanging out with women? Yes. You date the friends of friends. If you're an actual friend, they'll want to set you up. Tried that, doesn't work. Women see men who do that as gay or feminine. This might just be a "you" problem—never been an issue for me. Instead I get a lot of teasing from strangers and other friends that I'm some kind of "harem leader." And the women friends themselves definitely don't see me that way. "Forci…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/21 07:14 PM
5

where's the harm in committing to one person you like for a month after 2-3 dates and seeing where it goes? I think this is more your personal philosophy (which is fine) than a good rule to apply to everyone generally. I found, for example, that by going exclusive it often implies something more serious than I'm ready to make it—largely because so few men do it. I also found it takes much longer to know someone enough to take that step, so I don't do it anymore. Funny enough, I actually actively…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/21 07:07 PM
1

Haha this is the problem with text format based conversation. I read your first comment as completely sarcastic about Iron Man being actually a hot muthafucka. As in “eye roll he was selfish so his confidence can’t be hot!” and I was baffled.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/21 05:53 PM
1

Why so black and white? Marlon Brando plays an actual rapist in Streetcar. That doesn’t mean I admire his choices. I’m just looking at his method acting and body language.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/21 05:46 PM
1

Imitate? No that's fucking weird. But I look at underlying attitudes and behaviors because I think there's some good examples out there. For instance, Marlon Brando was a king of body language and controlling a room without saying a word. Sean Connery as James Bond or Tyler Durden in Fight Club are prime examples of easy confidence. I love Gosling's general cockiness in The Big Short and Crazy, Stupid Love. RDJ as Iron Man is also fun to watch As for actual romantic or social role models, I have…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/21 10:09 AM
6

The "before controlling for gender atypicality" part you mentioned was referring to both genders pooled together. No, it wasn't, and it's fairly problematic how clear I have to lay this out to you. The control for gender atypicality refers specifically to the effect masculine/feminine presence has on the system of attraction. In other words, masculine men are attractive regardless of their responsiveness (there is no negative correlation there). Women are seen as more feminine by being responsiv…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/21 09:58 AM
3

Yes. In other words, being nice does nothing. That’s not the same as saying being not nice does something. You see the difference right? Was the other metric number of lifetime partners? A number that would skyrocket if a person never marries or settles down? I’m waiting for data that controls for these very obvious red herrings.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/21 09:19 AM
6

I should have remembered that since you're BP it wouldn't sit right with you to admit that women are as shallow and dishonest as men I didn't say they weren't. I'd readily agree both men and women are equally shallow. What I won't agree with is the assertion that women's shallowness maps perfectly to abusers and DT types.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/21 01:49 AM
7

A few things here: "The association between partner’s masculinity and partner attractiveness was not significant among women"—they found that "[T]he analysis revealed that perceived partner responsiveness did not significantly predict partner attractiveness after controlling for partner’s gender typicality"—When controlling for masculinity/femininity independently, responsiveness did not predict men's attractiveness ratings. You missed an important pre-amble to your quote: "Without controlling f…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/21 01:48 AM
5

I know it's hard for PPD people to grasp this, but sharing how I feel things are—especially for just me specifically—is not the same as saying that's how things actually are. I get it, emotional reasoning is the vogue way to engage the world so it's hard to recognize venting (which is what that was) from assertions (which is what you're doing). But I said also "these are my open questions, I’m not taking a stand either way" and "I have to talk with my therapist about it" (because rationally I kn…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/21 01:20 AM
7

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/cux0dm/discussion\_research\_finds\_that\_women\_do\_not/?utm\_medium=android\_app&utm\_source=share ... You realize that "I don't like X" is not the same as "I like NOT X," right? That study just shows women don't give niceness an agreeableness an attraction boost. Very important distinction. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/283732665_How_Alluring_Are_Dark_Personalities_The_Dark_Triad_and_Attractiveness_in_Speed_Dating Only narcissism s…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/21 12:02 AM
0

So I guess the bigger question is what’s compelling me to entertain their arguments with debate? Clearly I need help
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/21 09:24 PM
1

You misread (or failed to get any of the point of) my reply, which is actually the exact opposite of what you think I said, so I'll reword it a second time: If genetic fitness of the species is the prime directive of policy making and social decisions (ie., what is "biological"), then survival of the fittest should prevail. If we let survival of the fittest prevail, then in all cases we must let individuals survive or die. People (including women) on welfare are a problem of failing to survive o…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/21 11:02 AM
3

Apparently it is you who lacks reading (and perhaps writing) acuity. ... Or I've been replying to you on an iPhone with shitty auto-correct, and you lack the mental dexterity to know "emaculation" meant to be "ejaculation." Remind me again why we should take your deductive skills seriously? The sole purpose of ejaculation is as an essential component of the sex act between a male and female, ergo Why should anyone agree with this? Whose "purpose"? According to who/what? Can we have sex for pleas…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/21 09:40 AM
1

So you don’t know how to read* your own sources? What part of what you shared makes you think it isn’t about ejaculation? I never made any such assertion. Then you’ve given me (or anyone else) no reason to give a fuck that the frequency of sex isn’t higher.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/21 09:05 AM
3

Yep. You provided a study which showed ejaculation* is good for your prostate. What you apparently have never heard of is masturbation. And I have no idea why you think that sex has* to be the way to ejaculate. But despite your insistence you’ve made a logical connection there, you haven’t. Not even a little. For such an “obvious” deduction you haven’t really explained why monkeys masturbate, as just one “for instance”
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/21 09:00 AM
2

If it’s important to you that biology be a requisite for how we engage with people, then, yes, you’re right survival of the fittest should apply to all aspects of social services and we should let people find their own way
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/21 06:36 AM
2

I require reasons for believing things. Facts, evidence, arguments. You’ve provided none of these. You doubled down on the health issues with sex, but your study points out quite clearly that any form of ejaculation is fine. I’m waiting for you to tell me why this isn’t so, and so far you’ve said “because we weren’t meant (by what/who?) to.”
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/21 01:55 AM
1

Well first of all, I said “propose stupid arguments get stupid answers” because your assertion that we should have babies just because we’re the most fit biologically (citation needed) is silly for so many reasons. And secondly, nope, the (stupid) argument stops at just not promoting/helping there people have sex. Survival of the fittest, and all that (since we’re on a kick about biologica imperatives). Let nature do its thing
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/21 01:52 AM
2

Then your assertion is baseless entirely. You’re asking me to, arbitrarily, to accept an argument that makes no sense. In debate we consider this a weak move
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/21 01:48 AM
2

Jesus Christ by this logic we should only be having sex for procreation. But if “it’s what nature intended” is what you think makes an impressive argument, feel free to double down. I’m entertained. Also, monkeys and other mammals masturbate... regularly.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/21 01:26 AM
2

I agree more is better. But suddenly the goal posts are shifting. First it was an onslaught of little pity parties saying that no sex at all was destroying their self esteem, health, and happiness. Now all of a sudden we have a sizeable chunk of men getting it far more regularly than “never” or even “since last year,” but this, too, is pitiful. Where’s the line? I want to know when snowflakes will stop crying they aren’t getting enough sex so we stop playing this game of chasing the goalposts
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/21 01:22 AM
3

You realize you can ejaculate without having sex right? So your entire fear of health issues is made up.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/21 01:20 AM
1

Somewhere in that range, yeah. If I do a rough “back of the envelope” calculation of the women I was sexually attracted to in high school sub 10% for sure, plausibly sub 5.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/21 01:18 AM
1

Wanting to fuck someone will definitely inspire more loyalty and devotion to otherwise. I’m incredibly jealous of other men who manage to develop crushes on many women all at once. I know they’re out there and I have my type, but my preferences tend to be less common.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/21 01:17 AM
1

Totally fine with me. Have you considered the average person? Now we’re talking about the bottom 30%... breeding. (Propose stupid arguments get stupid answers)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/21 01:15 AM
4

Let’s pretend I agree, even though you haven’t cited any sources supporting this.... “Sure, it’s a problem for a lot of men (and apparently women, looking at the numbers). But so is obesity, smoking, and inactivity. Pragmatically, these things kill way more men each year than this [hypothetically agreed upon] problem of infrequent sex. So I’ll pay more attention once the more pressing issues are tackled first.”
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/21 10:03 PM
6

Did the survey say the majority of men are unhappy with their frequency? Why is PPD so full of people who project imaginary bullshit without actually considering what we know?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/21 09:59 PM
2

What's your point?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/21 09:55 PM
3

Male. It comes in two "frequencies" if you want to use some wooey language. Frequency 1 (passive attraction) is generalized sexual attraction. It's a low baseline and basically along the lines of "could I have sex with this person if I had to or it were offered at absolutely no cost." A decent percent (quite a lot, really) of women in an appropriate age range fall into this group. This is different from no sexual attraction at all (I'd feel repulsed at the entire of any sexual attraction with th…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/21 09:50 PM
1

Bold move ignoring a flagrant example of your error even after it’s pointed out to you. I’m sure burying a head in the sand leads to great outcomes in life.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/21 08:36 PM
4

One time a month or less is not "regular sex"..... I did read the source. You didn't read it correctly. Would you like to try a second time? 1-3 times/month, and the other group is in weeks... how can I explain to you that this means at least 1-3 months "or more"? once a month is not "amazing" sex to most men under age 40, which in all seriousness is the population we're talking about because they are the most affected. ...but it's only once a month.... It's 1-3 times per month. Do you know how …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/21 08:21 PM
8

One time a month or less is not "regular sex". It's one time a month or more. Read the fucking source. We don't know if it's good either. Boo hoo. Now you're hamstering. What if it's amazing sex? What if these guys are having sex so good your mind can't even comprehend it? We have no information on it so injecting your own depressive spin isn't factual or useful for debate. And I'm not really interested in unsubstantiated worrying.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/21 08:10 PM
4

At it's most liberal estimate 20% of men in the US in their entire lifetime. So let's give it the most generous benefit of the doubt and assume all the men who hired an escort are doing it 1-3 times per month or more and that the most liberal estimate is accurate and not the conservative one (of 15%). Across the 18-44 age range, only 25% of men were sexless in the last year, so if we give you the ridiculous amount of benefit of the doubt, that still leaves 55% of men having regular sex without e…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/21 08:09 PM
3

Yep!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/21 07:17 PM
5

It's also simply not true. Here's the actual tables showing over 80% of the men who've had sex in the last year get it at least 1-3 times per month.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/21 07:10 PM
9

when a huge part of that 70% are still not getting frequent sex Bullshit. Less than 9% of that 70% group of men who have sex have it 1-2 times a year. The rest have 1-3 times per month or more.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/21 07:09 PM
2

This makes so much sense. Thank you!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/21 05:36 PM
1

This is a double-edged sword, by the way. It means that "attractive men," whether they're a "7/10" or a "10/10" by men's estimate, actually basically fall into the same bucket. It means unlike extra handsome men getting extra bonus points, you get one "point" for being physically attractive. Ladies: Is that a fair summary? Or would you say you do differentiate between a man who's 7/10 physically vs. 10/10 in terms of how attracted you are to him (not how attractive you see him on some measure, i…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/21 06:16 AM
3

No age, but the older you get the more tired you’ll be and have fewer years of being mister can-do Superman, in my opinion. I’d like to start by 35, 40 at the absolute latest possible. And ideally sooner, provided I meet someone who rocks my world before that
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/21 05:14 AM
1

It’s a work in progress.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/21 11:31 AM
2

My uncle married in his late thirties to someone in her early twenties, and had his first daughter early forties. It's doable, but he regrets waiting as long as he did. Personally, I'm ready to be a dad. Very ready. But it has to be with someone I'm absolutely sure is right for the partnership. That takes time and isn't as easy to find as you'd think. So the pressure is more about finding that right person in a timely fashion, rather than the "having the kids" part.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/21 10:35 AM
1

Quit watching porn, move out on your own, and put effort into improving yourself. The 30% sexless men stat is only for men below the age of 25, and everything I've read about the number suggests that it's due to young adults spending more years at home focused on career than in the past.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/21 06:02 AM
1

Keep at it. I think it’s one of those things where they can feel completely inaccessible and then one day you realize they’re everywhere, you just were unlucky until then :)
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/21 07:32 PM
0

Work on yourself then.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/21 07:31 PM
0

I’m a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/21 07:30 PM
1

My best friend is very attractive and he found none of his girlfriends on OLD. It's mostly through school/work/friends of friends/in public. Yep, this is why I think it's been hard for me. From top to bottom, online dating is just not a good way to meet someone. You get some lucky encounters, but it's all chance. All i am saying is that of all groups you have the largest pool to choose from. Yeah won't disagree with you there. My point is just from the point of view of the person with those opti…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/21 02:31 AM
1

I have seen the opposite though. I have attractive friends who are perpetually in relationships with amazing girls Man, maybe I'm just fucked then. I don't know. But myself, and most of my buddies, have a hell of a time finding anyone we're excited about committing to. And more often than not when we do they're already in relationships or emotionally unavailable. I do think attractive men have it easiest they are at a big advantage because it is not easy for a women to be visually attracted so t…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/21 01:57 AM
0

You don't see the guys she rejects dude I see the guys she chooses, who would obviously be the "best" of that lot, wouldn't they? Trust me she isn't choosing someone way out of her league by any measure. They only feel this chemistry with mostly the same charming/handsome guys. If you spend your life fearing this false belief it's going to fuck up your happiness all for nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/21 01:09 AM
1

Attractive men don't have it easier for relationships. Not from what I've experienced or seen with my friends. They have standards too, and it's hard to find all of them in one person. Since attractive men tend to care more about looks, it can become difficult finding women of depth who also bother to look physically attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/21 01:03 AM
0

If women didn't have such high standards everybody would be happy. I see men on PPD say this all the time, but I don't see it panning out in real life at all. What are these unrealistic standards that no man can measure up to? Most average women I know just want a nice, stable, guy who can be a little bit attractive and invested in her.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/21 01:01 AM
1

Attractive men have it easiest. Followed by attractive women For sex or relationships?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/21 12:58 AM
-1

If a (below) average female gets 100 matches, she has a greater chance of finding what she wants than the (below) average male who gets 10. Only if all matches are created equal. And I put forth that they are not. Especially on apps. I'd argue that it also makes these men come across as more clingy/awkward/desperate/etc. because they feel like they have to "make every match count." This is definitely true. But you're only thinking for online dating. The average man will fare far better offline t…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/21 12:57 AM
4

But what’s she after? Just sex of any quality? Then yeah it’s way easier for her. But if an average man is after a relationship or sex with someone of quality, I think he’s got it easier. I’ve found that my friends are a little more plain looking have more struggles with finding men who invest and want to stick around. And most women are after more than just casual sex of any quality.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/21 08:18 PM
10

No, but when men say they have it harder overall, it is the objective truth You'll never know who actually has it harder unless you've lived out both full lives in entirety, and across various people. It's too simplistic to draw the differentiation across gender lines here. And you forget that men and women have different goals (most of the time). In my view attractive women probably have it easiest, but once you fall into and just below the middle of the curve, men tend to have it easier (compa…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/21 07:56 PM
1

I used my mom more for relationship advice, or working through a questions about a woman I was already dating. As for attraction and flirting, I figured that all out on my own, and it would've felt weird to ask her.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/21 07:41 PM
1

I appreciate that. And I think you're probably right. I just held on (still letting go a bit) that if that were true, she'd wake up one morning as she worked on herself to realize how good we both had it. But her mom, unfortunately, treats her a lot like her ex, or at least she used to. So I suspect that self-deprecation inner voice is still there. I have no idea if she moved on and started dating someone else already (I think that's what happened) or if she still misses us, but I'm doing what I…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 11:36 PM
1

It’s more likely men and women do that. We all have the friend who bends over backwards for the woman who’s using him.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 09:54 PM
3

Nah because that means simping by changing who I am to be liked by someone else. Fucking my way through adulthood would still not include becoming abusive. It'd just mean I wouldn't aim for anything long-term because I don't have it in me to be abusive (if that's what's required to keep someone).
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 09:01 PM
1

I mean... emotional unavailability was the bread-and-butter of my parental upbringing so it definitely might factor into who I'm attracted to. But I also know women who play games turn me off immensely. So it's probably a little more nuanced than that. But there's definitely something to enjoying the chase, I'll give you that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 08:34 PM
3

Eh, if that’s universally true (I’m not sure it’s true but if it is) I’d rather just fuck my way through adulthood and then adopt a kid on my own if/when I’m ready to be a dad
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 07:43 PM
1

I saw someone make a great delineation the other day: people have unrealistic standards (ie., someone way out of their league) and people have narrow standards (this person is hard to come by). A clean example is an average guy who just wants an average woman, but only if she's red-headed and blue-eyed. Is that unrealistic? Of course not. Is it narrow? Yep. Red-headed blue-eyed people make up a very small percent of the population. Another example is a middle-aged basement dweller with no social…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 07:20 PM
1

It’s probably a case of vocal minorities on both sides shouting about it, giving material for either side watching to say they now have “proof” that things are a certain way. But what reality actually is... It seems to be somewhere in the middle, maybe true for some but not for others
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 06:51 PM
3

Well, exactly. That’s where the struggling comes in. And maybe it’s a frustration I’m projecting because I’m guilty of it too. Can’t tell you how many kind and loving women I’ve thought were “exactly what I was looking for in a partner” too, but I couldn’t commit to because chemistry on some level was just lacking. And maybe that’s why I’m thinking love is fucked—if we’re all just attracted to the people who are bad for us and can’t get to a place of desiring the ones who are good.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 06:48 PM
2

Ethics leads to a better life on the whole. Contrary to Machiavellians tell themselves, your odds of having a better life by taking up something like virtue ethics gives way better long term results. And frankly it’s just who I am. I care about others, I like showing I care. That’s never going to go away. LARPing as an asshole just so women will like me more not only actively makes the world worse for her, but also goes against who I am. Besides, this is for LTRs, I do fine in casual flings bein…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 06:44 PM
2

That’s exactly how the abuse cycle works. And by the end my ex basically was just trying to prove to herself that she wasn’t actually the piece of shit her abuser said she was. I do wonder if my treating her well made her immensely uncomfortable because she wasn’t used to it and because it conflicted with the beliefs she started to have about herself.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 06:40 PM
1

Nah the same woman also complimented me regularly on my masculinity and old school way about me. Pretty unlikely due to any alpha/beta ideas, unless you want to say alphas are literally abusers. As for TRP and Blackpill explaining it... black pill doesn’t really explain anything in this case. For TRP I’m not sold either, but definitely an idea I wrestle with
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 06:38 PM
5

Is it because they have said traits that make them attractive or that women find them attractive over good men period? Doesn’t really matter. It matters to me because I go out of my way to be the best possible version of myself. And that includes treating people well and showing them respect or genuine affection. If it turns out that doing this is not only not a turn on, but intentional a turn-off, that’s a problem. I’d like to think that isn’t true, and that I’ve just had bad luck dating women …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 06:32 PM
1

I’m curious if women have experienced the same, but it does feel like I’ve been punished for deciding to show genuine interest well-into dating someone before. The more it happens the more you start to wonder if investing really does change anything at all with dating someone (again, these are my open questions, I’m not taking a stand either way)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 06:29 PM
3

Yeah true. There does seem to be a pretty obvious differences and signs, least of all because of his reputation in his social circle. (Edit: not always of course. Some abusers intentionally hide in plain sight. But the infamous “bad boy” abuser does no such thing)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 06:26 PM
1

I’m still not convinced—or at least I don’t want to believe—it’s true. But at least in some cases, it has played out that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 06:25 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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