~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 0 | Feeling insecure about ending up alone and not finding a suitable partner (25F). How do I improve my approach?That's a very good question! They pursue me, 100%. The one who ghosted me pursued me extensively last year, even after I rejected him. He kept texting me and apologizing. Then once he came back and I started to like him, things changed and I felt he lost interest. The other guy I've been on and off with for 2 years, pursued me first as well. After dating for two months, he asked me if I'd be fine with changing my career path instead of going to medical school so that I wouldn't have to move beca… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/06/26 06:45 PM |
| 1 | Feeling insecure about ending up alone and not finding a suitable partner (25F). How do I improve my approach?I want to learn to love myself, to be content with where I am in life for which I worked very hard, to not measure my value by whether a man chooses me or not. I’m thinking of not dating anyone for a while and focusing on healing my patterns | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/06/26 07:01 PM |
| 1 | Feeling insecure about ending up alone and not finding a suitable partner (25F). How do I improve my approach?Thank you so much for your response! I started therapy in April and have been uncovering so many different parts of myself and my patterns. I’ve found out that my nervous system is in constant state of anxiety and preparing for the worst and I hate uncertainty. This comes from my patterns in childhood: divorced parents and a mom who gave me both love and distress and was emotionally unavailable. I blocked that guy I was on and off with, in April, a week later, another guy I had rejected from my … | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/06/26 06:34 PM |
| 0 | Feeling insecure about ending up alone and not finding a suitable partner (25F). How do I improve my approach?I have good friends and hobbies but I don’t like men in science and academia to be honest, especially at my school. They’re very very nerdy and have their own type I feel. I usually date men in other professions and my friends are in other professions too (consulting, medicine, law, teaching, social work, etc) | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/06/26 03:40 PM |
| -2 | Feeling insecure about ending up alone and not finding a suitable partner (25F). How do I improve my approach?It’s eating me from the inside everyday. I get disappointed when I meet a new man and don’t like him. I get disappointed when I reject someone that I know wasn’t good for me and my brain immediately jumps to creating a future scenario in which I’m old, lonely, and jaded. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/06/26 03:33 PM |
| 5 | Feeling insecure about ending up alone and not finding a suitable partner (25F). How do I improve my approach?You’re right. I never intended on committing to my him either. I saw him and still see him as a womanizer who plays women (I have heard bad things about him from many many women in our city…) and he’d never be the type of partner I could trust. For learning how to be flirty with men, I feel like at some point I guarded that part of me and lost it last year, but I’ll look through this sub and YouTube to find guides to get it back | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/06/26 03:24 PM |
| -2 | Feeling insecure about ending up alone and not finding a suitable partner (25F). How do I improve my approach?I’m afraid that other people will judge me, that they think I’m less than other for not having a partner, or that I’m miserable. I don’t feel that way internally. I have a lot of hobbies, friends, etc, but a new friend of mine consistently points out how I am alone and don’t have a family in the US (I moved here alone for school) and it has really really gotten into my head. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/06/26 03:17 PM |
| 2 | Exclusive with a man, but…I also will add that there is nothing wrong with being divorced. it is a not a flaw at all! but people from our region have so much bias against that as well so make sure you consider this part tooand feel accepted by him and his parents if things get more serious between you two | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/06/26 10:11 PM |
| 3 | Exclusive with a man, but…You seem like a very sweet and considerate woman! I'm from a very similar culture as your guy (I'm Middle Eastern) and I'll be blunt with you: if he is single at 40 and shares a home with his parents, he is definitely very close to them and respects their opinion a lot. Parents from our cultures have a huge bias against having their son marrying a woman from other cultures. I have seen parents setting up their sons with me and later found out the guy had a girlfriend but because she was white, t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/06/26 10:09 PM |
| 2 | The guy (M32) I (F25) have been seeing has started wanting to see me at night only and keeping things surface level. I’m thinking of calling it off. Am I overreacting?He said he wasn’t expecting me to be sleeping with other men, which is the opposite of calling me a w*re. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/06/26 02:36 PM |
| 1 | The guy (M32) I (F25) have been seeing has started wanting to see me at night only and keeping things surface level. I’m thinking of calling it off. Am I overreacting?You put it so articulately! I made the same mistake with my ex boyfriend, where I would hold grudges then would explode and send long paragraphs or argue over the phone. I defintiely will practice showing my boundaries through actions instead of lashing out. I don’t know, him now ghosting me after I sent that text makes me think maybe I’m boring or not interesting enough and that’s why he didn’t pursue things seriously. And you’re right! He definitely plays games and not just in dating but in bu… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/06/26 03:02 PM |
| 1 | The guy (M32) I (F25) have been seeing has started wanting to see me at night only and keeping things surface level. I’m thinking of calling it off. Am I overreacting?Thank you so much for your response! Do you think I went wrong about things from the beginning? In terms of how I dated him or how I confronted him? I really want to sit down and reevaluate my approach to dating | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/06/26 02:42 PM |
| 1 | The guy (M32) I (F25) have been seeing has started wanting to see me at night only and keeping things surface level. I’m thinking of calling it off. Am I overreacting?I never told him I wasn’t sure about him because he was short! When I initially ended things with him, I told him I didn’t think we had long-term alignment. Then he sent me a long paragraph apologizing for not setting up dates properly and not being consistent and said it was because he was working a lot that week. This still didn’t seem reasonable to me at the time and I didn’t accept that. When he came back this year, I decide to give him another chance because I thought maybe I was too picky … | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/06/26 01:26 PM |
| 0 | The guy (M32) I (F25) have been seeing has started wanting to see me at night only and keeping things surface level. I’m thinking of calling it off. Am I overreacting?Yes, I absolutely value success, education, and level of financial success in a man. I have worked on myself to be the best version I can be and have wonderful family and friends, give love to people around me and respect the man I’m with, and have my own life that I hope to share with a good partner one day . I did not only offer beauty to him, we were on the same level intellectually, I respected him, and genuinely enjoyed spending time with him and I think he did too (and he was impressed by … | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/06/26 12:51 AM |
| 0 | The guy (M32) I (F25) have been seeing has started wanting to see me at night only and keeping things surface level. I’m thinking of calling it off. Am I overreacting?He runs a private equity firm so he works very very long hours. 9 AM - 10 pm everyday and on weekends too. He also travels a lot for work but usually sees me the day before he leaves and the day after he returns and sends me photo updates from his trip. The first time that I refused sex, he was flustered, telling me I had too many “rules” and when we did have sex, he said oh so we’re having sex? I thought I could only see you in restaurants. There were times that he said we’d meet at a certain t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/06/26 12:21 AM |
| 0 | The guy (M32) I (F25) have been seeing has started wanting to see me at night only and keeping things surface level. I’m thinking of calling it off. Am I overreacting?That sounds about right. I honestly already have trouble being vulnerable with men so experiences like this really make me wonder if I will ever find a partner and fall in love. Initially, when we dated and reconnected, he kept asking me what I want in a man and at one point I realized he changes his answers or behaviors to match exactly what I want which was not a good sign (for example, I’d ask him about his preference on a topic, he’d say whatever you like, I like. Or I’d ask him about his op… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/06/26 12:04 AM |
| 6 | The guy (M32) I (F25) have been seeing has started wanting to see me at night only and keeping things surface level. I’m thinking of calling it off. Am I overreacting?This is such a great insight! That’s how I used to behave towards him last year when I realized he was making last minute dinner plans. I simply told him it was a lovely idea but I already had plans. Then he suggested another date in advance but by that time I had lost interest. I don’t know why but I felt that I need to be more emotionally open, vulnerable, and forgiving this time and that’s why I tried to communicate how I was feeling in hopes that he’d understand and change his behavior. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/06/26 08:21 PM |
| 2 | The guy (M32) I (F25) have been seeing has started wanting to see me at night only and keeping things surface level. I’m thinking of calling it off. Am I overreacting?Right😂😂 I have been looking up signs of porn addiction and I honestly suspect he has that based on his behavior | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/06/26 08:18 PM |
| 7 | The guy (M32) I (F25) have been seeing has started wanting to see me at night only and keeping things surface level. I’m thinking of calling it off. Am I overreacting?To add to this, he’s been saying some things that I was being careful about for example would jokingly tell me yeah women expire after 30 or actually 26 (because I’m turning 26 in a few months), or that he’s so happy I’m not American because American women “sleep around”. Initially when I met him, I thought he was a nice traditional man who wanted a family with the right person. I’m not saying I am or am not his right person, but regardless of that, some of the views he has expressed seem quite … | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/06/26 01:53 PM |
| -5 | The guy (M32) I (F25) have been seeing has started wanting to see me at night only and keeping things surface level. I’m thinking of calling it off. Am I overreacting?He had told me before we had sex that he is only seeing me. And I was only seeing him too. So that’s why I felt comfortable having sex. But my main problem was that it seemed he stopped putting effort into taking me out since we had sex last week. We used to do dinner and spent a Sunday together a few weeks ago, but the last two times was just him picking me up late at night, going to his place to have sex, then driving me back home. It particularly annoyed me because when we spent time two nigh… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/06/26 01:45 PM |
| 1 | I have been told by my friends that I don't have boundaries and am "too nice" I have started reading the book "Why Men Marry Bitches" but I'm not sure it resonates with me. I would appreciate any help!That is such a good point about how I feel after I’m with her. To be honest, I feel very drained after I spend time with her and I’ve recently become very self conscious. She constantly complains about not being able to find friends, and when I give her ways to find more friends, she finds a problem with every single approach. She also tells me stuff like oh people laugh at us and think we try too hard in dressing and makeup etc. Or a girl asked her about my dating life (I’m single and 25) she t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/26 11:52 AM |
| 1 | I have been told by my friends that I don't have boundaries and am "too nice" I have started reading the book "Why Men Marry Bitches" but I'm not sure it resonates with me. I would appreciate any help!It’s funny you say this because she calls other girls childish and herself mature😅 | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/05/26 10:47 PM |
| 1 | I have been told by my friends that I don't have boundaries and am "too nice" I have started reading the book "Why Men Marry Bitches" but I'm not sure it resonates with me. I would appreciate any help!I’m 25, she’s 27 or 28 | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/05/26 09:11 PM |
| 1 | I have been told by my friends that I don't have boundaries and am "too nice" I have started reading the book "Why Men Marry Bitches" but I'm not sure it resonates with me. I would appreciate any help!Thank you! Another thing is that she tells me we both standout too much and people are jealous of and she doesn’t want to get laughed at for being too much so she just dresses down. Before every single outing (even if it’s just a casual restaurant outing) she texts me asking what I’m wearing. This has affected me so much that I have started considering being a toned down version of myself but it just isn’t aligned with me. I genuinely don’t think every single woman is jealous of us. And I think … | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/05/26 07:17 PM |
| 3 | I have been told by my friends that I don't have boundaries and am "too nice" I have started reading the book "Why Men Marry Bitches" but I'm not sure it resonates with me. I would appreciate any help!Honestly I don’t feel like people don’t respect me or walk all over me. I have noticed some jealousy from other women at times but when needed, I voice it, although I don’t always do that. This is a new friend so I don’t know her that well but she seems to have just SO much drama with other women. I don’t know how to explain it but it seems like she looks down on them, thinks she’s better, etc. Then she constantly complains that she has no friends. I just feel like there is no way you can have f… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/05/26 04:43 PM |
| 0 | I have been told by my friends that I don't have boundaries and am "too nice" I have started reading the book "Why Men Marry Bitches" but I'm not sure it resonates with me. I would appreciate any help!I will definitely discuss this with my therapist and will do some self reflections as well! Great points | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/05/26 04:28 PM |
| 1 | I have been told by my friends that I don't have boundaries and am "too nice" I have started reading the book "Why Men Marry Bitches" but I'm not sure it resonates with me. I would appreciate any help!Thank you so much! I definitely have had people who were a bit manipulative and I tolerated them so I think I definitely need to learn to draw better boundaries in those situations. But if my friends say something jokingly I honestly don’t get mad I just take it as a joke and joke back (my friends doesn’t like it if someone jokingly tells her why the “fuck” did you do that and she actually cut off a friend over that last week and I was so shocked. That girl had some other behaviors but never tow… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/05/26 04:16 PM |
| 2 | 29F met 36M - early dating; he says he is looking for a family, but unsure about meFully agree with you on this! I would even say that a successful 36 year old has probably met many suitable women in the past and if there was no major traumatic experience, he is definitely single by choice | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/05/26 02:31 PM |
| 6 | 29F met 36M - early dating; he says he is looking for a family, but unsure about meMaybe I'm too pessimistic but you mentioned he is 36, attractive, possibly has options, and says he wants a family but isn't sure about you; based on my experience (I was on and off with a man like this for 1.5 years. He was single for 6 years and hasn't even been exclusive with a single woman, just many many 2-month situationship with really good women), men like him either have a really hard time committing to one woman because of the previous lifestyle they had, or they are just internally no… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/05/26 02:29 PM |
| 1 | I [F, 25] am trying to find out if the man [M, 36] I was involved with used the redpill mindset on me?You are pointing out a lot of good points it’s almost as if you have met him!! Yes, I remember one time we were at an art gallery and he visited every single artists’ cubicle EXCEPT for this African American man. The man noticed and looked distraught. I felt so so so bad for him I still remember the look on his face and maybe I’m dramatic but it was not nice of him at all. You could just tell that he avoided him on purpose… And he always wants everything his way. He runs a company and his staff … | /r/ExRedPill | 29/04/26 11:23 PM |
| 1 | I [F, 25] am trying to find out if the man [M, 36] I was involved with used the redpill mindset on me?That makes so much sense! Apparently he had a long term girlfriend in his 20s who broke his heart and it took him a long time to heal. He was also in the military for 10 years and was deployed to the Middle East and I’m sure has some trauma from that. He told me he hasn’t had strong feelings for any woman in 5 years and broke up with his ex because he just didn’t love her… (he says that to all women after two months when they ask for exclusivity: that he just doesn’t “feel” it) and mind you, he … | /r/ExRedPill | 29/04/26 06:29 PM |
| 2 | I [F, 25] am trying to find out if the man [M, 36] I was involved with used the redpill mindset on me?Thank you for your comment! I really feel guilty and stupid for believing him every time he came back (I’d end things with him, then he’d text a month later saying we should catch up and how we were wasn’t the best. He’d give me all these talks about how he’s getting closer to god, going to church, is ready for a family, etc then suddenly no follow through and he’d say he doesn’t have romantic feelings for me. Or I’d ask him to never come back again. Yet he’d find me on dating apps and message m… | /r/ExRedPill | 29/04/26 06:04 PM |
| 1 | ResourcesLove Mrs Midwest’s older videos! That’s how I was first introduced to traditional relationships and femininity | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/03/26 03:42 PM |
| 3 | How can I [F25] learn to be vulnerable and build and emotional connection with men instead of pulling away and playing it cool?He was also telling me how he’s started working on his spirituality and reads the Bible now and goes to Church. I was trying so hard not to laugh because it sounded like a “rebrand” speech😅 | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/03/26 05:01 PM |
| 2 | How can I [F25] learn to be vulnerable and build and emotional connection with men instead of pulling away and playing it cool?I agree with you both! And it used to work in the past but I started working on myself since January and don’t see him as that rare, attractive man who was amazing and started seeing his patterns very clearly after dating a couple of genuinely good men. I still want to work on myself to make sure I’m ready to meet a healthy partner before pushing them away again | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/03/26 05:01 PM |
| 3 | How can I [F25] learn to be vulnerable and build and emotional connection with men instead of pulling away and playing it cool?Thank you for your feedback! Yes this guy is definitely troublesome himself and to be clear, I didn’t have sex with him until 2 months into dating. We had lots of shared activities, nice dates, outings together before we had sex. It’s just his pattern: he loves luring women in and then thy ask for exclusivity and he ends things. I think I definitely need to work on sharing my feelings, dreams, and fears with men and learning to sit with those feelings instead of running away. Whenever I got to t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/03/26 04:58 PM |
| 4 | How can I [F25] learn to be vulnerable and build and emotional connection with men instead of pulling away and playing it cool?Thank you! Yes this guy is kind of trying to fully put the blame on me while he’s the one who plays with women and then breaks up the moment they want exclusivity and are vulnerable with him. It’s an ego thing for him. Regarding weeding out men, do you have any strategies? I feel like all the men I go on dates with from the apps want you to be physical with them very early on although I don’t do that (I have only had sex with my ex and this second guy). Do I just tell them on the first date that… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/03/26 04:47 PM |
| 1 | Do most men really want a woman that brings them peace or do they like the chaos?I just saw your comment! It’s been two months since I firmly ended things. Yesterday he liked me on a dating app again and called me and we talked but nothing more. He says he has to work on himself and I fit his type in women but he knows his type isn’t good for him and he needs to change it. He definitely pulls away the moment we get too close, then I end things, he misses me and comes back. I just think this is a cycle and we’re not functional together and my nervous system is exhausted. Anyw… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/02/26 12:47 PM |
| 2 | He isn’t sure about meMine also had an ex that broke his heart and he said he went to therapy and took him a year to learn how to trust people, he also had PTSD since he’s a veteran. I truly empathize with him and I’m sure you empathize with yours too but we cannot change them, as cliche as this sounds. People choose to either seek help and grow or not. If he’s truly emotionally blocked/immature, even getting married doesn’t change that. I’m from the Middle East and have had many men in my family who were like this a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/01/26 11:37 PM |
| 3 | He isn’t sure about meI had a very similar experience with a man that lasted for a year and a half. We dated for two months, he told me we’re in different life stages (I was 23 he was 34) and ended things. He then came back after a few months, we started seeing each other casually. I later learned he dated another girl and ended things with her at the 2 months mark saying “he just didn’t feel it”. I got into a school in our city, stayed, he was blaring the lines but the moment he’d become vulnerable, he’d pull away. … | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/01/26 10:36 PM |
| 3 | I've been doing lots of reflections and noticing that some of the men (M30s) I (F25) date come on super super strong early on then they immediately pull back and I'm trying to understand what I'm doing wrong?I definitely need to learn how to vet them better. I have just recently felt that I'm ready to date again but then had this recent experience... I just know he's ignoring me because he kept sending me reels before and would always respond within a few hours but he hasn't done that so that's how I figured | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/01/26 07:24 PM |
| 0 | I've been doing lots of reflections and noticing that some of the men (M30s) I (F25) date come on super super strong early on then they immediately pull back and I'm trying to understand what I'm doing wrong?The thing is I don't want to come off too strong and don't tell them about my relationship expectations too directly, either because it says on my profile that I want a LTR or because I drop hints hoping they get it. The guy I was on and off with for a year was also posted by many women on Facebook, who said he tells everyone he wants marriage but takes them home on the first date (he wanted to do the same to me but I didn't have sex with him until 2 months in) then when I confronted him, he sai… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/01/26 07:22 PM |
| 1 | I've been doing lots of reflections and noticing that some of the men (M30s) I (F25) date come on super super strong early on then they immediately pull back and I'm trying to understand what I'm doing wrong?I also never liked LDRs and never had one but I have friends in the US who are dating men living in Europe so I thought a 3-6 hour relationship could be doable but honestly it's still very challenging, I assume | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/01/26 06:26 PM |
| 1 | I'm consistently being called "independent" by men I go on first dates with and I'm wondering if this is pushing them away and how to change thatI will definitely look into it, I need a new book to read! And I totally agree, it's like my trust in relationships has been broken, not to be dramatic. Do you mind explaining why you think the 2 you went on a date with aren't better than the girl that would settle down with you? Is the girl less impressive on paper in terms of looks and other things? Or just not as exciting? I'm just curious! | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/01/26 01:16 PM |
| 1 | I'm consistently being called "independent" by men I go on first dates with and I'm wondering if this is pushing them away and how to change thatYou're right, deep down I know I get along better with the more successful guys and honestly admire them a lot which might mean I'm less interested/open to these new guys I went on a date with | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/01/26 11:46 PM |
| 2 | I'm consistently being called "independent" by men I go on first dates with and I'm wondering if this is pushing them away and how to change thatThat totally makes sense and to be honest, I did kind of try to date different types of guys this time, who were less impressive (on paper) than my usual type. And looking back, I was friendly but not as open as I usually am, it could also be because I'm not truly ready to date since I ended things with the last guy recently, with whom I was involved with on and off for almost 2 years. I will definitely work on my energy and practice vulnerability since I know I sometimes struggle with it unless… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/01/26 11:44 PM |
| 1 | I'm consistently being called "independent" by men I go on first dates with and I'm wondering if this is pushing them away and how to change thatI don't actually think I'm independent at all (in a bossy sense!) I think it comes across like that because I'm in a very competitive program, but I ask people for help so often and would even argue that I'm the least smart person in my cohort! I have had guys from my cohort ask me if I'm there just for the vibes and why I dress up and wear heels everyday, so I don't quite fit the mold there either. I just like the science and absolutely love teaching so chose this route. Also, the "successful" … | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/01/26 11:57 PM |
| 4 | I'm consistently being called "independent" by men I go on first dates with and I'm wondering if this is pushing them away and how to change thatI totally understand what you mean by speaking the same language! YES!!! The conversation just flows easily, they know the ins and outs of academia (one of the guys I dated previously was a biotech CEO and he knew so many people in my field, all the new discoveries, etc and we could talk forever! However all of these recent guys that I dated and talked about in my post, asked me on the first date if I'm "working" or just in school studying. It's just so funny when I heard this because my friends… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/01/26 11:50 PM |
| 3 | I'm consistently being called "independent" by men I go on first dates with and I'm wondering if this is pushing them away and how to change thatI also wonder if that has to do with me moving to the US alone. One even made a comment last weekend saying wow you're an only child and really left your parents alone? I always thought that when people say gaining higher education limits the dating pool they were exaggerating but I'm actually experiencing it. It's just a bit frustrating but also deep down I can tell that me and those men aren't a good match but I thought I was being more mature by broadening my dating pool | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/01/26 11:45 PM |
| 26 | How to attract an "east coast / old money aesthetic" man for a serious relationship?I dated one of these men in college. He was 10 years older than me and came from a well-known family. I'm Middle Eastern and had moved to the US for college and met him here, he introduced me to his family within 6 months of us dating. My classmates told me "how are you gonna fit in? his family is so different, their social circle is different, etc" After meeting his family (they were lovely and they loved me!) and interacting with them multiple times, I definitely realized what my friends meant… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/01/26 10:02 PM |
| 2 | Do most men really want a woman that brings them peace or do they like the chaos?His behavior hurt me a lot. I had just moved on 2 months ago and had asked him to not reach out then he came back. I just dating another guy and ended things with that guy (for reasons unrelated to this man) then he took me on dates. I should have listened when he told me he hasn't felt anything romantic for any woman in years. On dates he was super interested, giving me big future talks, then the sudden pull away... really ruined my holiday. At least I can take some time to reflect and heal. Th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/12/25 10:34 PM |
| 0 | Do most men really want a woman that brings them peace or do they like the chaos?On a dating app | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/12/25 04:49 PM |
| 10 | Do most men really want a woman that brings them peace or do they like the chaos?He has been with a ton of women, like a lot... his friends are also all the same type, one was engaged to a girl for 10 years, made her move with him to a country they had no one in, then didn't marry her and the girl had to go back to their home country. I 100% won't let him come back to me. This is the first time in a year that I turly don't feel that limerence and loyalty to him and am really happy about it | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/12/25 04:14 PM |
| 5 | Do most men really want a woman that brings them peace or do they like the chaos?I can definitely see it. I know I'm just being reactive and hurt but honestly since last night I'm thinking should I just become a toxic party girl but then I realize how immature this is and I need to improve myself as oppose to changing myself completely | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/12/25 04:11 PM |
| 6 | Do most men really want a woman that brings them peace or do they like the chaos?He never told me that until recently! The only thing he told me was that his last relationship was 2.5 years ago and he "just didn't love her" and they were together for 6 months and then he ended things. He also said many women tell him he leads them on but he doesn't think he does. I feel I definitely need to get better at vetting men. I got much better at it after dealing with him but still need to work on it | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/12/25 03:53 PM |
| 0 | Do most men really want a woman that brings them peace or do they like the chaos?But he says he wants a wifey, legacy, and kids and he likes attention from multiple women but in the end wants the one who brings him peace and that none of the women he has met in the last 4-8 years were "the one" but my parents have told me the same thing you said that he doesn't actually want a wife and even if he wants it in theory he isn't ready yet. I think in either case it was best for me to stay away and find a man I truly align with instead of wasting my 20s in a dysfunctional dynamic | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/12/25 03:49 PM |
| 3 | Do most men really want a woman that brings them peace or do they like the chaos?Haha I'm neither of those types at all but that rings a bell, he does go for the first type and has many of those women in rotation. He never chooses them though but I get the "why settle for one" part | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/12/25 03:31 PM |
| 5 | Do most men really want a woman that brings them peace or do they like the chaos?The last paragraph makes a lot of sense! I was kind of like him when I was in college actually. I was the definition of a toxic woman, started fight with my boyfriend for no reason, broke up with him once a month, made him cry a lot, didn't find him "exciting", and even if another guy showed interest in me when I was single I would lose interest quickly. Funnily enough, when I met this guy last year, I didn't even like him because something felt wrong especially how he talked about his ex and wo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/12/25 03:05 PM |
| 1 | Do most men really want a woman that brings them peace or do they like the chaos?You're very right about the second point. He is very high in demand, in that case, what would be an exciting woman you think? I know I should just take the rejection and move on but I'm trying to understand my competition a little better | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/12/25 03:00 PM |
| 1 | Do most men really want a woman that brings them peace or do they like the chaos?He only dates younger women from 24-30 and says men like younger women which I didn't take as a red flag, but then he told me women closer to his age want to rush the timeline and ask for a ring 6 months into dating and dating them is not fun | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/12/25 02:22 PM |
| -2 | Do most men really want a woman that brings them peace or do they like the chaos?Exactly, I definitely brushed off the red flags. He used to tell me even if you marry another man, you'll always think about me because no one will ever be as good as me to you and like you as much as I do, or one time right when I ended things with him he showed me an acceptance letter to CIA that he got years ago, when I asked him why are you showing me this he said well you said you're moving on so I had to give you something to keep you stuck on me. It hurts right now since I really wanted t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/12/25 02:20 PM |
| 3 | Do most men really want a woman that brings them peace or do they like the chaos?Thank you so much for your response! This gives me good insight into men in general. I have heard of that book but haven't read it I will check it out today. Would you mind giving me a few examples of the pushback/attitude? | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/12/25 02:11 PM |
| 10 | Do most men really want a woman that brings them peace or do they like the chaos?You're right that's why I told him to just not come back and let me connect with new men healthily. I have rejected many good men last year because I was. still thinking about him. Do you think I should have taken it as a red flag when he said he hasn't felt a spark for any woman in the past 4-8 years? I feel like if I hear this from another man in the future my instinct will be to run away but maybe I'm overreacting | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/12/25 01:53 PM |
| 1 | Update on my previous post: A man I used to be only casually involved with asked to spend time together and is showing a lot of changes in his behavior. How should I proceed to explore this safely?Just updating you to say that you were right! He took me on another date this week, and didn't take me back home and said it's because he wants to see how he feels spending time with me without sex to avoid clouding his judgement with sex. We held hand, kissed, he asked a few other questions about family values, kids, etc. He also said we should go to the beach one weekend. It felt really nice being around him like this honestly! | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/11/25 09:20 PM |
| 9 | Bad friends or products of liberal dating culture?I'm also 24 and I'm noticing that a lot of my friends have a vastly different view on relationships and men than I do! Part of it is because I recently moved to the US and met all of them in a very liberal city. However, this also means my friends might have views different than mine on politics, career choices, lifestyle, and many other things! I had a friend laugh at me in a gathering when I said one of my life goals is to be a good mom. Does this make our friends "bad" friends? I don't think … | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/11/25 03:40 PM |
| 1 | Update on my previous post: A man I used to be only casually involved with asked to spend time together and is showing a lot of changes in his behavior. How should I proceed to explore this safely?Thank you so much for your advice! I would really like to explore the possibility of a serious relationship with him too but the thing is I'm not sure if our conversation meant "this is just sex, don't expect anything more" or not. Especially because at the end he told me he wanted to tell me where he's at and didn't want to "lead me on". I feel like when someone says this they mean they don't want anything more/serious. I also sent him a selfie yesterday to open the thread and he just said "Loo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/11/25 07:54 PM |
| 1 | Update on my previous post: A man I used to be only casually involved with asked to spend time together and is showing a lot of changes in his behavior. How should I proceed to explore this safely?Thank you for your advice! I would love to spend more time with him but the thing is I'm not sure if, by having this conversation, he meant "this is just sex, don't expect anything more" or not. Especially because at the end he told me he wanted to tell me where he's at and didn't want to "lead me on". I feel like when someone says this they mean they don't want anything more. I also sent him a selfie yesterday to open the thread and he just said "Looking beautiful as always my dear" which is a … | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/11/25 07:52 PM |
| 1 | Update on my previous post: A man I used to be only casually involved with asked to spend time together and is showing a lot of changes in his behavior. How should I proceed to explore this safely?You gave me a lot of good advice, thank you very much! and yes, I myself struggled a ton with vulnerability and I used to deflect everything with jokes and humor and recently I've learned to be open with people so it's been super helpful. The problem is I also have such a strong fear of rejection and I'm afraid that if I show investment in him or the desire to see him again, he'd think I'm trying to push him towards a relationship/rush things. Or maybe I'm also being insecure and overthinking th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/11/25 10:11 PM |
| 1 | Update on my previous post: A man I used to be only casually involved with asked to spend time together and is showing a lot of changes in his behavior. How should I proceed to explore this safely?I forgot to mention our ages, sorry! I'm 24, he is 35 | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/11/25 10:07 PM |
| 2 | I’ve been dating two men for a month but I’m starting to realize that none of them might be a good choice. Am I being unreasonablly picky?That's a great question! So, the main one who tells me this is in kind of a relationship but the guy doesn't want to claim her as his girlfriend ( he has met her parents but hasn't introduced her to his parents) and she also doesn't like the fact that he earns less than her. My friend does say she wants marriage and kids but her dating style is different than mine (I prefer to not have sex early on in a relationship, she thinks it's pointless to withhold ssex and she usually initiates it on the … | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/25 10:31 PM |
| 3 | I’ve been dating two men for a month but I’m starting to realize that none of them might be a good choice. Am I being unreasonablly picky?Haha I know, right? He's quite wealthy so I think he thought I'd be impressed by his money and trip invite. I'm so glad I didn't let things escalate! | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/25 10:27 PM |
| 1 | How do you know if a guy is just settling for you?Such great advice! Can I ask what age gap you think is appropriate for a 24 year old woman? A lot of guys my age especially in the US aren't into serious relationships and seem to want casual only so that's why I'm asking :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/25 10:20 PM |
| 0 | I’ve been dating two men for a month but I’m starting to realize that none of them might be a good choice. Am I being unreasonablly picky?Honestly sometimes my friends tell me I’m being too picky and rejecting guys and that I should just go with the flow with men. But I also feel that I’d rather explore options safely rather than be in a relationship that I know isn’t the right one | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/25 05:39 PM |
| 8 | I’ve been dating two men for a month but I’m starting to realize that none of them might be a good choice. Am I being unreasonablly picky?I agree with your advice about not dating 40+ men. But in terms of me being young, I think it's actually a very good age for me to slowly develop a LTR with someone given that I hope to marry the right man, have a family, and have kids. I think it's totally possible to focus on school and do that! | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/25 03:28 PM |
| 9 | I’ve been dating two men for a month but I’m starting to realize that none of them might be a good choice. Am I being unreasonablly picky?That’s such great observation, thank you so much! I’m glad I’m making the right decision. You know, sometimes I wonder if I’m being too picky - I have friends who stay with men that don’t meet their standards, who aren’t the right guys for them and I watch them being unhappy. Sometimes I wonder if I should be more willing to give guys I wouldn’t give a chance, a chance. I’m afraid I will end up alone. But I think in this case at least I’m making the right decision! | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/25 01:53 PM |
| 5 | I’ve been dating two men for a month but I’m starting to realize that none of them might be a good choice. Am I being unreasonablly picky?He definitely drinks a lot of alcohol like a lot. I matched with him on an app and then found his hinge and all of his prompts are about alcohol… you’re right I also am thinking his age and alcohol consumption might affect his kids’ health negatively. Also I was just saying in passing that “oh when I have kids I’d send them to this school haha” because he hadn’t even once mentioned whether he wants kids or not. I felt like I was the one pushing all the more serious conversations while all we tal… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/25 01:27 PM |
| 2 | A man I used to be only casually involved with asked to spend time together and is showing a lot of changes in his behavior. How should I proceed to explore this safely?Oh the number of times we’ve gone back to each other is crazy😂 every time I end things, he comes back 4-6 weeks after and we still get along well and connect better than before which is funny. Thank you so much! I will keep you updated :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/25 01:26 AM |
| 2 | A man I used to be only casually involved with asked to spend time together and is showing a lot of changes in his behavior. How should I proceed to explore this safely?This is so so helpful, thank you so much! I will read through the incremental reciprocation post and practice implementing it naturally! And you're right - I should observe how things progress over time instead of focusing on that one text only | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/25 01:17 AM |
| 1 | A man I used to be only casually involved with asked to spend time together and is showing a lot of changes in his behavior. How should I proceed to explore this safely?That's very fair. but I did that at the time solely because I wasn't sure if he liked me and I didn't want to get hurt. And yes, he has a ton of options (is very attractive, high income, wants family and kids, very masculine). Do you think it's too late now to show investment in him? I texted him after this date and sent him a photo of the pastries I made that I was talking about and told him next time I will save him some :) he said "those look lovely!" but didn't escalate more so I'm wondering… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/25 01:03 AM |
| 0 | A man I used to be only casually involved with asked to spend time together and is showing a lot of changes in his behavior. How should I proceed to explore this safely?Oh I forgot to mention that when I ended things for the third/fourth time, and asked him indirectly why we didn’t date he said “I don’t know I feel like sometimes you’re just… I don’t know the romantic feeling and intuition didn’t develop for me mahbe it’s my fault and we should have spent more time together” so that’s why I thought if he never had romantic feelings then he’ll never have it, you know? | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/11/25 12:37 PM |
| -1 | A man I used to be only casually involved with asked to spend time together and is showing a lot of changes in his behavior. How should I proceed to explore this safely?The problem was that I wanted him to be the one to ask me out when we were just casually only hooking up but he wouldn’t do it, he would just drop breadcrumbs and wouldn’t follow through. He did tell me multiple times towards the end that he wants me to be sweet and vulnerable and that I like him too much I’m afraid of it, but I just didn’t want to get hurt to be honest. He was also hooking up with other women at the time I think. And when I got into grad school and he invited me out to dinner, … | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/11/25 12:23 PM |
| 3 | A man I used to be only casually involved with asked to spend time together and is showing a lot of changes in his behavior. How should I proceed to explore this safely?Oh yes we definitely properly dated in the beginning for two months (no sex, real dates when we spent hours together, and connected so well!) I think I will stay open minded about a real relationship and see where this leads us | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/11/25 11:20 PM |
| 1 | A man I used to be only casually involved with asked to spend time together and is showing a lot of changes in his behavior. How should I proceed to explore this safely?Be being direct, do you mean he’s seeing if I want the same things with him? (Marriage and kids) I just can’t understand how he suddenly went from casual to this. He never took me on a date when we were seeing each other casually | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/11/25 11:10 PM |
| 1 | A man I used to be only casually involved with asked to spend time together and is showing a lot of changes in his behavior. How should I proceed to explore this safely?He actually has almost all the factors I look for in a husband so I would be very open to a relationship with him and then marriage. But I’ve always heard that once a man sees you as a “casual” option he can never see you as a wife so I’m kind of trying to n understand why he’s suddenly switched and is talking about these serious things with me. Although even when we were casual he talked about marriage, kids, etc with me but never followed through seriously. He now seems just very grounded I fe… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/11/25 10:51 PM |
| 1 | I’m not sure the man I’m dating has a romantic interest in me. How should I navigate this?We have gone on 5 dates so far and he did kiss and held my hand and kissed my hand and he’s been texting me more often but the overall pace is definitely slow. Hopefully it’s due to him being interested! | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/10/25 02:10 AM |
| 2 | I’m not sure the man I’m dating has a romantic interest in me. How should I navigate this?This is very helpful to know thank you! I have mostly dated men from my culture and moved to the US recently so I’m not fully familiar with the dating culture here | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/10/25 11:00 PM |
| 3 | I’m not sure the man I’m dating has a romantic interest in me. How should I navigate this?We’re both in the US | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/10/25 10:08 PM |
| 5 | I’m not sure the man I’m dating has a romantic interest in me. How should I navigate this?I always trust your advice! Congrats on baby number 5🥹 you’re always very sweet and kind in the advices you give. Your husband and kids are very lucky :) I’ll definitely need to stop overthinking and enjoy it. You know when you’re young and used to fast-burning love, it’s a bit harder to get used to that steady and even uncertain feeling. But my mom says these steady connections are usually the ones that turn into a good marriage | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/10/25 08:54 PM |
| 1 | I’m not sure the man I’m dating has a romantic interest in me. How should I navigate this?So the thing is he doesn’t answer all of my questions!! He answers parts of them and then meticulously dodges the part he doesn’t want to answer. He’s into sports and I am too so we talk about that. We both come from different cultures so we talk about that and also a lot about political stuff, education, just the stuff we find interesting. But nothing romantic | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/10/25 07:55 PM |
| 2 | I’m not sure the man I’m dating has a romantic interest in me. How should I navigate this?You’re right, he hasn’t done anything wrong. Sorry I needed to be more clear. What I mean is that he hasn’t even once talked about his previous relationships or asked about mine. He hasn’t asked me what I’m looking for or shared what he’s looking for. He seems very very closed off and slow and deliberate overall. This is making me wonder if he genuinely wants a romantic partner and sees me as a potential one or not. For example, I was telling him about my friend’s black cat Who’s very independen… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/10/25 07:51 PM |
| 2 | When should I start offering to pay for dates with the man I’m seeing?Thank you so much. That does make sense. I think i was looking at this through my lens. I hope it works out as well, although the age gap is very huge but he seems very nice so far so I think I should just see how things will go :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/10/25 06:25 PM |
| 4 | When should I start offering to pay for dates with the man I’m seeing?This is very helpful, thank you so much! The part about the M.A. really made me laugh😂 | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/10/25 03:35 PM |
| 3 | When should I start offering to pay for dates with the man I’m seeing?I have cooked and baked for guys I’ve dated before and I think they usually appreciated it! Although I don’t cook elaborate meals unless we’re dating more seriously but I think making small things is sweet :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/10/25 03:35 PM |
| 3 | I got ghosted/ slow faded after two good dates, did I do something wrong?Now you made me curious! For the older guys, what are the list of things that'd made him fall for a woman? | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/25 02:42 PM |
| 3 | I got ghosted/ slow faded after two good dates, did I do something wrong?This is a very interesting situation! Do you mind sharing how he gave up on his other options and enter a committed relationship with you? How did that whole progression work if you don’t mind me asking? | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/09/25 09:43 PM |
| 10 | I got ghosted/ slow faded after two good dates, did I do something wrong?I remember your initial post about him and recall how excited you were which was great! Dating is supposed to be exciting :) I did have some speculations about this guy that unfortunately might have been true and I want you to not blame yourself. At ALL. Do not think you are not "good enough" for a good man. That he was the "best" you could do. I'll share my own experience with you and hope it helps you because this is what I wish I was told last year: I'm also in my early 20s. Graduated from co… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/25 08:46 PM |
| 1 | I had an amazing first date with a very ambitious man but I’m worried he will not have enough time for me , need some adviceOf course! This has been my experience so it might not be applicable to all types of men: In my experience and from talking to one of them for a long time and getting to understand his way of thinking when it comes to relationships, they have a ton of options but an “ideal” partner in mind: now, they don’t have to settle for anything else than that and many of them won’t since they can get pieces of what they want from different woman and wait for the “perfect” one until they find her. In his ca… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/08/25 02:23 AM |
| 7 | I had an amazing first date with a very ambitious man but I’m worried he will not have enough time for me , need some adviceFirst of all, I'm so glad you had a great first date! This is an amazing start. I'm the same age as you and totally understand the joy and excitement of meeting someone who aligns with your values and vision! That said, I'd suggest you take it slow and really really take the time to get to know this person and let them pursue you and reciprocate in return. I dated an older man last year who sounded a lot like what you described here and my experience is that the ambitious men want a cheerleader … | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/08/25 10:24 PM |
| 11 | Are the goals of TRP and Redpillwomen totally different and should we avoid dating redpill men?I agree with avoiding the men who call themselves alpha! I once had someoen tell me he doesn’t compliment me since I’m hypergamous as a woman and would trade him for a higher status man. He also said men who compliment women are betas and simps and he’s “the alpha”. Having a balanced approach the issues is definitely a green flag | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/07/25 03:29 PM |
| 1 | Are the goals of TRP and Redpillwomen totally different and should we avoid dating redpill men?This comment is really helpful! Thank you so much for your advice! The idea of greater beta made it click for me. I also agree that dating within certain communities is better since if a man naturally gravitates towards those communities there’s a high likelihood that he has the same mindset and life goals as us | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/07/25 03:27 PM |
| 2 | Are the goals of TRP and Redpillwomen totally different and should we avoid dating redpill men?Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I didn’t know about black pillers, I need to look into that. My understanding was that a lot of the guys who follow the creators/people saying that “commitment is weakness” or “you should neg a woman to keep her interested” or “play hot and cold” are the red pillers who might not be best suited for a long-term, serious relationship | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/07/25 01:43 PM |
| 1 | how to differentiate between a player/a man who doesn't want to commit to any woman yet vs a man who just doesn't see you as the "one"?That could be in honestly. He was in his 20s when he was with her (he was in the military at the time) for four years then apparently she broke his heart. He then transitioned and went to grad school and moved from that city. In the two years of grad school he was in two relationships (both short-term), one of which he ended because he just “didn’t love” her. Then for the past four years he’s only been in casual flings and not even exclusive with any of them. When I would ask about his dream lif… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/07/25 12:49 PM |
| 1 | how to differentiate between a player/a man who doesn't want to commit to any woman yet vs a man who just doesn't see you as the "one"?There are a lot of other women he has dated in the past four years who gave him a lot and he still didn’t commit to them😅 | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/07/25 03:42 PM |
| 5 | how to differentiate between a player/a man who doesn't want to commit to any woman yet vs a man who just doesn't see you as the "one"?You’re right! He definitely takes great pride in rejecting women as soon as they want something more and telling them “oh I just never felt the spark with you, was waiting to see if it would ever develop” while knowing those women want a long-term relationship. I also noticed him changing his dating profile details (like his political stance, religious stance, drinking frequency) probably to attract a wider variety of women. At first I thought maybe there was something wrong with me and I wasn’t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/07/25 03:41 PM |
| 10 | how to differentiate between a player/a man who doesn't want to commit to any woman yet vs a man who just doesn't see you as the "one"?Thank you for your great advice! You're right, I should have paid attention early on especially when he said he doesn't date women above 30 years old since they ask for the ring quickly and it makes him go crazy... The problem was that he framed a lot of his beliefs in a way that seemed traditional and masculine, but there were definitely subtle signs I should have taken into account! | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/07/25 01:17 AM |
| 6 | how to differentiate between a player/a man who doesn't want to commit to any woman yet vs a man who just doesn't see you as the "one"?Thank you! He also negged me saying he doesn't go for women my age since they are "boring" but I surprised him and am "just a little interesting". He also said he doesn't go for 30+ year olds since they ask for a ring 6 months in and it makes him anxious/annoyed. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/07/25 01:06 AM |
| 1 | How can I be more emotionally open and vulnerable when it comes to dating?Thank you for your comment! I did like one of them. A lot. It didn't work out for other reasons but we both tried being vulnerable but one of us failed to be fully open. One of the guys definitely did not make me feel safe enough. Right on the first date he was telling me "give me something to work with" "tell me your fears" which I felt was strange since I didn't even know him. But you are very right, I definitely need to understand that I need some courage! Maybe I should start practicing it m… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/06/25 11:59 PM |
| 1 | How can I be more emotionally open and vulnerable when it comes to dating?Thank you for bringing this up! For example, on the last first date I went on, the guy told me to "give" him something to work with, to share my fears, etc. It genuienly caught me off guard... I had just met him and I just couldn't bring myself to get that deep. Later on the date he tried to get too touchy, suggesting that we could go back to his place, etc which made it clear to me that his dating priorities don't align with mine. In the other instance, I dated another man for two months. The i… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/06/25 11:30 PM |
| 6 | What is the best approach for me to seek a long-term relationship given my situation?Thank you so much for sharing your experience! I definitely agree if a person is high achieving and want fellowship after fellowship it will be such a hard long path and academia can be very brutal! I’m specifically considering doing my PhD in a city that has a lot of opportunities for employment right after after PhD specifically for my field (most people come to this city after getting their PhD in this field from other places.) I’m hoping this will make it easier for me to build long-term rel… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/10/24 05:17 PM |
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter