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SimpRecovery Archive

View 1 posts and 125 comments by SimpRecovery on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

SimpRecovery/r/askMRP31/05/23 03:54 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Get a therapist who can help you with Exposure and Relapse Prevention therapy (a form of CBT as mentioned elsewhere). Exposure (think phobias) is an effective treatment for OCD. Compulsions feel like they will alleviate the discomfort of intrusive thoughts. You challenge the intrusive thoughts (which is very distinct from arguing with those thoughts) and expose to the discomfort instead of doing compulsions. The thoughts scream louder and then they pass, as all thoughts eventually do. And then y…
/r/askMRP09/05/24 02:11 AM
1

Not using credit cards (for me) is a tactic, not a strategy. I used the cards because they all have rewards. I was in that percentage that paid my balance in full and got my cash back off of the interest of others. Now I am the one accruing interest (and rewards). Until that is back in order, I want to minimize card use.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/23 06:02 PM
0

I've been mentioning in my OYS over the last few weeks that I've been spending from my checking account as opposed to credit cards. When I was single (and even newly married), the cards were great because I'd get a few hundred dollars of 'rewards' that basically felt like free money. Until it didn't. This isn't a budget, obviously, but I am in a 3 month process of weaning off cards. Next month, I want to get my wife doing the same. This is also going to hopefully alleviate some of the Christmas …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/23 03:59 PM
2

Thanks for the YNAB mention. I went on their website and saw something to the effect of "welcome Mint subscribers." I used to use Mint until it started to stink in terms of syncing with accounts, which was quite a while ago. It looks like YNAB may be overall improved on Mint...
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/23 03:26 PM
1

Neither am I, despite this being how I have 'met' these needs in the past.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/12/23 03:05 PM
1

I am getting on some dating apps, getting out more at night, I hadn't considered a strip club, but there is one nearby that I've been curious about. Regardless, I think you are right that there is a lot around that I'm not acknowledging.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/23 04:47 PM
1

I suspect you stop your initiations before a hard no. Am I right? That is part of it, although I do get the hard no often. I think it is a comfort issue. I haven't made my wife rejecting initiations for weeks at a time something that has consequences. I am pulling more comfort, as you recommended last week. I also am going to go out more and have made noticeable upgrades in my appearance/wardrobe.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/23 04:37 PM
1

Be honest with yourself - how confident are you that you could be fucking another chick in let’s say 10 days of making a concerted effort? Honestly, with 10 days of real effort, I am 60% confident I could have sex with another chick who I don't pay for. If by "be fucking" you mean more of a plate, that percentage is lower (maybe more in the 40% range) since I have other criteria than the most available wet hole.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/23 03:21 PM
1

Last fuck was 4 weeks ago. BP up 20 lbs. I switched to front squat and working at 30 pounds heavier than 8 weeks ago. OHP improved 12.5 lbs row up 30 lbs. DL is the outlier. I have not improved my top deadlift, although we'll say 10 weeks ago I was struggling to pull 275 and now that feels easy, so there is some gain there.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/23 03:11 PM
1

You had said something similar a few OYS ago, which prompted a lot of thought for me. This is basically how I’m starting to think about things. It is definitely a mindset shift, but it actually seems pretty reasonable. She can get first crack at me, but I have needs and if she doesn’t want to fulfill them, I reserved the privilege to meet them in other ways.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/23 10:07 PM
6

OYS #23 I’m 7.5 months into my Red Pill journey. 46 years old, 6’0, 188 lbs, married 9 years, together 12.5, 2 daughters 5 and 3. My Mission? To become a man who recognizes himself as having high value and options pursuing a successful career and being a model of a man to my kids. I will accomplish this by prioritizing myself and my needs, facing and accepting reality, and being committed to doing what needs to be done for my self, family, and community with courage and hard work. Why am I here?…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/23 07:37 PM
3

OYS #22 I’m 7 months into my Red Pill journey. 46 years old, 6’0, 187 lbs, married 9 years, together 12.5, 2 daughters 5 and 3. My Mission? To become a man who recognizes himself as having high value and options pursuing a successful career and being a model of a man to my kids. I will accomplish this by prioritizing myself and my needs, facing and accepting reality, and being committed to doing what needs to be done for my self, family, and community with courage and hard work. Why am I here? C…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/11/23 05:22 PM
6

As far as the steamer, after years of not doing this, I finally took my shirts to the dry cleaner and asked them to launder and press. At my dry cleaner, it was $3 a shirt. For that, you get your good shirts looking good and ready to wear. I have spent the last decade ironing my shirts and pants with the idea that I was saving money. And, obviously I was. On the other hand, I would either spend valuable time ironing or avoiding wearing shirts and pants that looked wrinkly, basically cutting my w…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/23 02:41 AM
3

OYS #21 I’m 7 months into my Red Pill journey. 46 years old, 6’0, 187 lbs, married 9 years, together 12.5, 2 daughters 5 and 3. My Mission? To become a man who recognizes himself as having high value and options pursuing a successful career and being a model of a man to my kids. I will accomplish this by prioritizing myself and my needs, facing and accepting reality, and being committed to doing what needs to be done for my self, family, and community with courage and hard work. Why am I here? C…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/11/23 03:52 PM
3

As far as what you can get at your average department store, Acqua di Gio is available most places as are Versace and Gucci. Those are all good. Also in the category of scents liked by women are most of the men’s scents by Chanel.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/11/23 10:30 PM
3

Most of the stuff on his list is on the pricier side (exceptions: AdG and the Azarro fragrances), but I’d suggest looking at eBay for decants of some that he listed. You can try out 5 or 10 ml of the Creeds, etc for a more reasonable entry point. eBay is actually where I go for most of my scent. A lot less than at the department stores.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/11/23 10:25 PM
2

I don’t have a recessed chin, but I wanted to see if mastic gum would help my jawline and I can attest to significant John Hamming of my face.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/11/23 10:16 PM
1

I'm 183 cm (6'), so my AFF is 93 kg (205 lbs). Currently 184 and around 17% BF. 1g protein per lb bodyweight MINIMUM. The fitness community has drifted further and further to the minimum here over the years but from experience I prefer 1.5g This is going to require some planning. I have been focusing on just eating more these last few weeks to get in the habit, but it is easy to just load up on fat and carbs...
/r/MarriedRedPill06/11/23 03:09 PM
1

You engaged in an emotional conversation based around faulty zero-sum thinking by arguing. Very much in her frame, which was preceded by me having the conversation in the first place. She set all the parameters for the discussion (autonomy and/or relationship)...getting to that felt useful, but then I stayed on the content as opposed to noticing or attempting to elicit the emotional content.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/23 09:01 PM
1

I don’t suck (relatively or absolutely). And the conversation probably could wait. There are upstream (validation seeking and game) things I want to prioritize.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/23 11:34 AM
1

Asking why, or threatening, or arguing, or passive aggression is one (stupid) path. Yeah, I knew it was and yet, as you say, it is a measure of where I am that I pursued it anyway. It felt more productive than threatening, arguing, or passive aggression, but probably amounts to the same thing. I do think there are productive questions to ask, but I wouldn't ask them after a rejection. You can share that another time. I like knowing what a woman likes, what turns her on, what makes her wild. Just…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/23 02:31 PM
1

Kino should not be artificial. You should not kino to meet a goal that you have made it in your mind. I cant tell if thats what you are trying to do, if you are then you are gonna have to re-evaluate. (see validation seeking) Not what I'm trying to do. If I want to touch my wife, I do. In the past, I would give or withhold touch based on what I was picking up from her or my own validation seeking. I try to be aware when I'm seeking validation now. I'm sure I pursue kino with a hope of receiving …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/23 01:41 PM
3

OYS #20 I’m 6 ½ months into my Red Pill journey. 46 years old, 6’0, 184 lbs, married 9 years, together 12.5, 2 daughters 5 and 3. My Mission? To become a man who recognizes himself as having high value and options pursuing a successful career and being a model of a man to my kids. I will accomplish this by prioritizing myself and my needs, facing and accepting reality, and being committed to doing what needs to be done for my self, family, and community with courage and hard work. Why am I here?…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/23 11:08 AM
1

I suppose with the cheating accusations you have also gotten this shit test Closest I got to this is, "I'll be fine. I'll keep on doing my thing, raising our girls, and you'll date...gaslight some other woman." Not really the same, I think. Regardless, I didn't really field this one well at the time. A woman's greatest sense of validation in this world is being selected by a high value man, over and over. I have seen glimmers of this. And I need to internalize that I am the high value man.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/23 02:09 AM
1

And do the BF exercises in NMMNG. I didn't commit to these the first go round, that will help a lot with your listed concerns.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/10/23 02:43 PM
2

As a religious person myself, I'll throw this out there. I want to fuck my wife more often but can't deal with rejection. She wants 100% confidence but I haven't got it. She fantasizes that I would sexually dominate her but I don't know how. I want to unlearn validation seeking behavior. I'm sure you've already considered Ephesians 5:22-33. These concerns feel like a duty for you to address the barriers to. Don't worry about adultery then. Your wife wants this scripture based husband. Read Sex G…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/10/23 02:06 PM
1

IR 9. If the version of yourself you want to be is cool, confident, with some positive sense of self do you think he gets there be practicing deriding himself every opportunity he gets? This is a very excellent point. Maybe I shouldn't have swooped past the BF exercise where I write myself positive affirmations. Seriously, though, I don't think I picked up on this. When I interact with someone who is depressed and they say, "I'm just being realistic" about the myriad catastrophizing they are put…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/10/23 01:45 AM
5

Matthew 5:28 Yeah, you can't mess with scripture. That whole section is about relationship to the law and it is difficult to imagine, when the next 2 verses are about plucking your eye out or cutting your hand off if you offend that the direct read is the most effective. But it is, of course, what we do. The whole sermon on the Mount is, of course, fantastic. Adam was the first guy to lose frame. Look how that turned out.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/10/23 01:24 AM
1

No, it's dread. You've probably just never seen it before, which is why I asked you where dread was at. I think you're missing the signs. This is definitely possible. To trade notes, my wife did the same shit to me in the first 6 months when I went out. Just ignore it and let her hamster do the heavy lifting. Come back home, fuck the shit out of her, and use tools from WISNIFG that will help you with this, especially negative inquiry. Learn to turn her question back on herself and let the hamste…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/10/23 12:36 AM
1

Yeah, I got it. I agree. Updating the style will actually be pretty easy I think.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/10/23 09:26 PM
1

I have 3 or 4 pairs of glasses since my prescription hasn't changed in a bit. They are stylish, but, have you been to a eyeglass store recently? I wear tortoise shell glasses with a horn. When I started wearing something like that 12 years ago, I got compliments. When I got some clear framed glasses 10 years ago, they turned heads, when I wore titanium frames 8 years ago, they looked cool. Now...all just retreads. I probably could still find an edgy pair of frames (I was searching for those glas…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/10/23 09:09 PM
1

I am currently using Crest whitening strips. I did this about 6 months ago for the first time. I have become a glasses all the time guy since they are more comfortable than contacts. But I have started removing my glasses in more social situations, although habits are what they are. I have 2 basic hairstyles that are all out of the same basic barber cut. I wear it messy or I wear it neat. I'd been wearing it messy, these days neat. Not very exciting. I used to have a beard and wear my hair longe…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/10/23 06:19 PM
3

Where is dread at currently for you? It seems like your woman is pretty content not really trying hard. Are you willing to fuck other women to get what you want? If I am being honest, I am not yet willing to fuck other women to get what I want sexually. As this has gone on though, that is becoming much more of a consideration. ​ If so, does she know this? Or are you still just letting it marinate hoping she gets it? When I have gone out by myself, my wife has reacted and accused me of having an …
/r/MarriedRedPill24/10/23 05:56 PM
4

OYS #19 I’m 6 months into my Red Pill journey. 46 years old, 6’0, 183 lbs, married 9 years, together 12.5, 2 daughters 5 and 3. My Mission? To become a man who recognizes himself as having high value and options pursuing a successful career and being a model of a man to my kids. I will accomplish this by prioritizing myself and my needs, facing and accepting reality, and being committed to doing what needs to be done for my self, family, and community with courage and hard work. Why am I here? C…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/10/23 02:50 PM
1

In
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/23 10:31 AM
1

You are an interesting case. Many people see their former beta self in you so you get bombarded by advice. Stick to the basics and do them right. Lift, sidebar, STFU This is basically why I'm here. I have developed some ability to sift through the advice and see what is useful to me at a particular moment.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/10/23 05:00 PM
4

OYS #18 I’m 6 months into my Red Pill journey. 46 years old, 6’0, 180 lbs, married 9 years, together 12.5, 2 daughters 5 and 3. My Mission? To become a man who recognizes himself as having high value and options pursuing a successful career and being a model of a man to my kids. I will accomplish this by prioritizing myself and my needs, facing and accepting reality, and being committed to doing what needs to be done for my self, family, and community with courage and hard work. Why am I here? C…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/10/23 03:00 PM
1

Your comment actually touches on a lot of the realizations I have had myself this week. Date is something you can enjoy independent of her. Thats basic of outcome independence. This is why I decided to go forward with the date I had planned for this weekend as well, and keep a schedule of 'dates' with the wife. She was much better behaved on the date we just had...but as you say, OI. Covert contract, NMMNG bro, blend it up and drink it till it courses though your veins Yeah, obviously I knew it …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/10/23 04:13 PM
2

This is a mental game I have run, pretty often actually. In the way I have approached it, it has prompted resentment and then an excuse for avoiding asserting wants and needs. Which is my main problem--tied to nice guy anxiety/toxic shame. For example, I actually had next weekend planned for another date night. After my wife was a shit, I went through a whole lamentation of whether I would go forward with the upcoming date. Should I do it and have a big talking to or should I take it away becaus…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/10/23 12:03 AM
1

Wow. That’s impressive. You were a skinny dude. Of course I can gain weight. I have before, just not typically by my own doing. I just need to eat. Next week, more.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/10/23 11:20 AM
2

OYS #17 I’m 5 1/2 months into my Red Pill journey. 46 years old, 6’0, 178 lbs, married almost 9 years, together 12.5, 2 daughters 5 and 3. My Mission? To become a man who recognizes himself as having high value and options pursuing a successful career and being a model of a man to my kids. I will accomplish this by prioritizing myself and my needs, facing and accepting reality, and being committed to doing what needs to be done for my self, family, and community with courage and hard work. Why a…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/10/23 10:51 AM
1

Got it.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/23 08:09 PM
1

This is some good stuff and I appreciate it. A couple quick questions: Breathing pause squats 6 sets of 5 deep breaths at the bottom of the hole with the bar on your back. Start at 50% of your 1RM. Go up every time you get to 5 breaths and can stand. If I'm reading this right, this would be 6 AMRAP sets of breathing pause squats. The weight for each set increases but starts at 50% 1 RM. Deadlift work up to 1RM I found this article related to this. Is this along the lines of what you are saying? …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/23 06:48 PM
1

Alright, this morning at the gym, I did the day 1 of this routine. I like the intensity. When I saw the big list of exercises, I thought, I won't be able to do all of this (or won't have time), but it was all pretty manageable. This was all I did today, but I'd probably add some lat work in a future run through of this. I am curious about all of the different set and rep schemes. The 7x3 felt easier than 5x5 (could also be that I was doing it fresh as opposed to after squats), and overall it is …
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/23 02:59 PM
3

Holy shit. Cool. Let me digest this for a minute.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/10/23 11:38 AM
1

3 lbs. No fucking. Edit: misread 6 weeks, responded to 6 months.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/10/23 11:36 AM
4

OYS #16 I’m 5 months into my Red Pill journey. 46 years old, 6’0, 178 lbs, married almost 9 years, together 12.5, 2 daughters 5 and 3. My Mission? To become a man who recognizes himself as having high value and options pursuing a successful career and being a model of a man to my kids. I will accomplish this by prioritizing myself and my needs, facing and accepting reality, and being committed to doing what needs to be done for my self, family, and community with courage and hard work. Why am I …
/r/MarriedRedPill03/10/23 10:21 AM
1

you sure talk a lot. Yep. I do. And I see (and am living) the downsides of this. One day, this will never not be the case. AND I can be more sure of myself.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/09/23 05:07 PM
1

My advice is to pick 1-2 short term goals for the weight room. Say a 12 week time frame. Can be either aesthetics or strength. They are strongly correlated. Makes sense. Like the theme of my overall post, there is inertia, but I could see figuring out a couple of goals to be a useful way forward. But if you want to earn your man card from MRP, Medhi-from-Stronglifts or Pavel for just continuing to show up then by all means keep going. kek.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/09/23 05:02 PM
1

Stop caring what anyone thinks. Maybe in the next life, but yeah, I could see expanding my gym repertoire based on what I want.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/09/23 04:59 PM
2

It has been helpful to keep me accountable to my shit.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/09/23 04:56 PM
1

I don’t have great answers to either of these questions. I don’t want to use machines because I have negative associations with machines that are no doubt not entirely reality based (they are for women and posers). My goals are vague (look good, feel good, get stronger). I am going to live in the irrationality of all this for the moment.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/09/23 12:12 PM
1

I don’t imagine switching to machines, but why do you say this?
/r/MarriedRedPill26/09/23 12:00 PM
3

OYS #15 I’m 5 months into my Red Pill journey. 46 years old, 6’0, 178 lbs, married 8.5, together 12, 2 daughters 5 and 3. My Mission? To become a man who recognizes himself as having high value and options pursuing a successful career and being a model of a man to my kids. I will accomplish this by prioritizing myself and my needs, facing and accepting reality, and being committed to doing what needs to be done for my self, family, and community with courage and hard work. Why am I here? Captain…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/09/23 11:23 AM
2

Yep, that’s the idea. Take my time and do all the breaking free stuff. I started to do these, pen and paper and all, but stopped. May as well start again. My answers are likely a little different now anyway.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/09/23 02:25 AM
1

The YouTube version of Book of Pook on the sidebar is very well done. A good listen. If you don’t mind kindles (I generally don’t care for them), you can bundle the audible and kindle and I think they sync, but also good for annotation.
/r/askMRP19/09/23 09:24 PM
1

I was thinking this. Not the part about snorting it, but yeah, I’m a fucking nice guy. And this is the shitshow that has created. I’ll try reading it again and if that doesn’t work, maybe I’ll go the snorting it route.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/23 04:12 PM
3

OYS #14 I’m 4 months into my Red Pill journey. 46 years old, 6’0, 178 lbs, married 8.5, together 12, 2 daughters 5 and 3. My Mission? To become a man who recognizes himself as having high value and options pursuing a successful career and being a model of a man to my kids. I will accomplish this by prioritizing myself and my needs, facing and accepting reality, and being committed to doing what needs to be done for my self, family, and community with courage and hard work. Why am I here? Captain…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/23 10:15 AM
1

I thanked you because I appreciated what you said. It wasn’t meant to help but I will think about your response. I’ll see you tomorrow.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/23 02:41 PM
1

Thank you.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/23 01:55 PM
1

This comment cut me when I read it last night. I'm sure it was in part being tired after a long day. Some lifts at the gym this morning helped me see the basic problem I have. I don't push my edge in my relationship...and yeah, there is fear there. Just like when I get under the bar and I think, well, what would happen if I get stuck under this thing? And so, maybe I don't push my edge all the time. I am trying to address this at the gym, recognizing my reserves. At home, I'm basically back to w…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/23 01:28 PM
1

Thanks. I will
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/23 03:05 AM
1

Open to suggestions. This one was on the sidebar. So far, I do like it, but can see it’s limitations.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/23 10:20 AM
1

Your point is well taken. I continue to do my stuff that I have always done on ‘my time,’ going to the driving range and shooting range, the gym, but this is the ‘stuff’ I’ve done in my at home time. As I mention, not impressive. The cooking/baking is for me. I did that generally, but as I say, I let the enjoyment of it get sapped because it became validation seeking, so now I made an effort to do because I enjoy and I want to improve, if that makes sense. All said though, yeah, it wasn’t exactl…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/23 10:08 AM
2

OYS #13 I’m 4 months into my Red Pill journey. This week has been focused on doing my stuff. 46 years old, 6’0, 175lbs, married 8.5, together 12, 2 daughters 5 and 3. My Mission? To become a man who recognizes himself as having high value and options pursuing a successful career and being a model of a man to my kids. I will accomplish this by prioritizing myself and my needs, facing and accepting reality, and being committed to doing what needs to be done for my self, family, and community with …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/23 05:01 PM
2

Slow down. Own your shit and stop worrying about some pussy in a box. That's exactly what got you here in the first place. Yeah, I hear you. Slowing down feels pretty necessary. I appreciate it.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/09/23 01:56 PM
3

Yep, this about describes things in my relationship. It’s taken me months to start to realize what you’re saying and I’m just starting to really try it now.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/09/23 11:33 AM
3

OYS #12 I’m 4 months into my Red Pill journey. This week has been focused on withdrawing attention and affection from my wife. 46 years old, 6’0, 175lbs, married 8.5, together 12, 2 daughters 5 and 3. My Mission? To become a man who recognizes himself as having high value and options pursuing a successful career and being a model of a man to my kids. I will accomplish this by prioritizing myself and my needs, facing and accepting reality, and being committed to doing what needs to be done for my…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/09/23 10:46 AM
3

Only give her your attention if she is fucking you. Be polite, do not ignore her, but do not give her any emotional bandwidth. Remember shit tests will come, you would think that you have failed them, but unless you remain congruent to your frame it doesn't matter. You are a high value man(if you don't believe it, FAKE IT) who values his own time. So fill your week with things that make you happy. If you wife find it in her to make you happy by blowing you so be it. This is useful. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/08/23 09:04 PM
1

​ Dancing monkey is not a stepping stone to reaching MRP zen. Its a maze that many get stuck in for rest of their lives because they simply don't understand the concept of frame. You are not on the right path, you are walking in circles. This is helpful clarification. ​ I am a high value man and whose time is valuable. So I have a right to give my attention to things that add value to my life. Yeah, I see that I do not understand frame. I do not want to be stuck. I do value my wife too highly fo…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/08/23 08:57 PM
1

This is something to reflect on for me as well as try more time away. I actually wonder if just some healthy time away would be beneficial. Not even a week at a time, but just some days or nights off. Which I realize isn’t the main point of your comment, but is good for reflection. As to the kids, I am adaptable, I could definitely see being comfortable or even enjoying seeing them with different frequency. On the other hand, my own vision is different than that. Contingencies and being prepared…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/08/23 11:24 AM
3

This is all very good. Three important reflections to chew on, all connected. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/08/23 08:55 PM
1

Thought about it, but no. Probably wouldn’t be a terrible idea.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/08/23 08:21 PM
1

I know the common wisdom around here is to just keep gaming and kinoing your wife no matter what. But, I'm having trouble figuring out what the point is in pursuing a fat, lazy, disinterested wife. Is that something you enjoy? It's funny you say that, I have been considering the same question. I don't enjoy it. I could easily find better things to do with my time and probably having more fun gaming and kinoing other women. Or just focusing on all that other important stuff. ​ I also can't figure…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/08/23 06:34 PM
2

This all makes sense. The fundamental problem is your dancing monkey program and the inability to take control of your own sex life. You're not a man who fucks. You're a man who fucks when the captain lets him. This will be the last thing to change. I know there are lots of good posts about the dancing monkey that I need to keep reviewing. It seems like an almost inevitable part of the process the way it is talked about. It also seems like a spot where a lot of guys get stuck. Like the differenc…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/08/23 03:46 PM
3

OYS #11 I’m 3 months into my Red Pill journey. This week has been focused on continuing to reflect on my mission and purpose as well as noticing and responding to the solipsism in my wife. 46 years old, 6’0, 173lbs, married 8.5, together 12, 2 daughters 5 and 3. My Mission? This is becoming clearer still. Optionality and helping myself and others unplug are where I’m at right now. I think I just need to bone up and flesh this out. Why am I here? I am recovering from a Captain and Her Husband dyn…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/08/23 10:33 AM
3

Yes. But in a tantrum sort of way.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/08/23 05:15 PM
2

Okay, I see your point. She doesn’t dictate this. It is something we had discussed me doing this week and I hadn’t followed up on it happening. But yes to your points as well.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/08/23 03:41 PM
2

Appreciate the comment. Shows I wasn’t clear. The fuck up was not hitting golf balls, it was being responsive to demands the wife was making (about taking days off) while she was throwing a tantrum.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/08/23 03:15 PM
2

OYS #10 I’m 3 months into my Red Pill journey. This week has been focused on continuing to reflect on my mission and purpose as well as noticing and responding to the solipsism in my wife. 46 years old, 6’0, 173lbs, married 8.5, together 12, 2 daughters 5 and 3. My Mission? Continuing to prioritize time for myself and notice options. When I think of a money problem, I attempt to be open to all the things I can do, when I think of a work problem, same thing. In terms of prioritizing self, I am do…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/08/23 10:49 AM
1

Thanks for all this. Lots to reflect on. ​ You're breaking free, keep pushing. It's been interesting to notice that I keep wanting to push the brakes. I've got to keep moving through that. Probably tied to validation seeking.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/08/23 01:02 PM
2

OYS #9I’m 3 months into my Red Pill journey. I got Rule 9 banned 2 weeks ago. This ban has been useful for me. It gave me something to focus on, which I recognize is a mission problem in itself. I am essentially using the sub to define my mission. Nonetheless, the Rule 9 ban showed me how little frame control I have, even when writing an OYS. 46 years old, 6’0, 174lbs, married 8.5, together 12, 2 daughters 5 and 3. My Mission?Last time, I said my mission was “to be a man with options,” which got…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/08/23 11:00 AM
2

This is something I'm starting to get. She doesn't mind when I poke fun at her most of the time either. I think I still slide into cutting remarks, which is where it falls down. But when I can enjoy her antics, I move through them better.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/08/23 10:22 PM
1

Did you really come to this sub to settle like that? Start deciding how you want to live and keep working towards that. This thinking is completely in the frame of your spouse. Definitely not. I was recapping a thought process and the "slow drip" just ends up in the same spot. Definitely some navel gazing, but how I want to live is the goal.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/08/23 10:18 PM
1

While this is a good starting point, it's very vague with nothing that is actually actionable. Thanks for this and the links. This is helpful. While STFU is a good, necessary starting point, you've got two young daughters. If they push you, how do you respond? You Amused Mastery them because you're daddy, right? Same principle applies with your wife - you just need to change your mindset and think of her in that dynamic, and then respond to her like she was a little girl. Be Daddy. It's funny, i…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/08/23 10:15 PM
5

OYS #8 I’m 2 1/2 months into my Red Pill journey. Last week, I noticed my own weakness as a primary factor in lacking frame. I also pointed out that my finances are a mess and this is contributing to my own stress as well as difficulty seeing myself as having options (in life generally and in my relationship). The feedback centered on 2 main things: STFU and figure out what I want and getting the finances in order for me as opposed to with/for my spouse. This week, something clicked for me. I’ll…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/08/23 11:21 AM
1

Good point. I am pretty excited to get this back in order. I swore I would never let it get here again after being a moron with money in my twenties, and yet here it is. This is one I can go full retard on pretty immediately.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/23 02:05 AM
1

So, I recognize that I need to BE a man that I respect. All very useful. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/07/23 04:10 PM
1

I see your wife wrote your mission for you again this week. 100 percent. And I realize that if I don't get my financial house in order, I feel stuck. Maybe other guys can run game and develop frame with financial chaos (I'd imagine this has to be the case), but I don't do well with this. Also, this is a way that I can focus my energy and more effectively get out of my own head. Perhaps find some time, when you're not feeling emotional, and think about what you might do to gain respect for yourse…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/07/23 01:47 PM
12

OYS #7 I’m 2 months into my Red Pill journey. Last week, my life and the feedback I got here worked together to show me how visible my weakness and lack of frame is to others. The perception that I come across as weak has long been my greatest fear. And part of me always knew that I do and did. And I have always told myself this story or that to convince myself that I don’t. Similarly, since reading the sidebar, etc. I have done stuff that I have thought DHV to my wife. And consistently I am fru…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/07/23 10:18 AM
1

Your wife knows as others have said. She may be in denial, but that is very different than not knowing. She caught you because she wanted to so she could say something to you about it.
/r/askMRP19/07/23 04:05 PM
2

Yeah, I am. But what's the point of being mad at the hand I've been dealt (or the hand I've drawn due to dumbshit choices along the way)? That doesn't change the mad, but I need to keep that perspective.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/07/23 03:00 PM
2

Calling me an "over enthusiastic clown" aside, I bet because I want to play and I want to get better at playing. The alternative to bluffing is folding. I'm not interested in doing that. I lose all my chips, get lucky, or get blown out and play the next hand better.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/07/23 02:03 PM
2

I see you've signed up to the dancing monkey program and the ink is fresh on another covert contract or two. You're heading in the right direction but you'd do well to reframe the whys; Right now it's all mental masturbation and pretty white lies, we know why you're here. But, adjust your thinking where you can, even if it's forced and fake I appreciate this. Yeah, I don't have illusions about where things are for me, but I am already starting to play with those "little lies."
/r/MarriedRedPill18/07/23 09:06 PM
3

read WISNIFG and actually try to understand it. You say you are recognising manipulation but you don't actually understand why you were manipulated for so long. Thats where gold lies in that book and it is clear that you have not read it properly. Look fogging anyone can do but to actually use it in right circumstance requires a shit ton of self introspection first. You seems like one of those who delude themselves into thinking that they are making progress when they are not. Yeah, I can say I …
/r/MarriedRedPill18/07/23 09:03 PM
1

Yes. It is wrong because its fulfillment is dependent on her, and her energy for that matter. It is also very much a validation seeking statement. The logical questions would be: why write dumb shit like that, then? There is no excuse except that this shows me how far up my wife's ass my head still is.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/07/23 08:41 PM
7

OYS #6 I’m 2 months into my Red Pill journey. Last week was a family vacation, which proved to be really fruitful for reflection. 46 years old, 6’0, 175lbs, married 8.5, together 12, 2 daughters 5 and 3. My Mission? Still developing. Short term mission is to energize myself and energize others (particularly my wife) and to notice and eliminate the ways I drain people’s batteries (especially my own) when I’m being a pussy and/or a validation seeking bitch. Why am I here? I am in a Captain and Her…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/07/23 10:44 AM
2

This is a very helpful layout, thanks. The ask for sex and this comment tripped my validation seeking circuitry pretty well, which at this point I'm noticing as a sign to be on the lookout for a manipulation. It did feel like a nicer way to engage in obligation than, "okay, I guess," but still very much that she was doing it to placate my needs. Work the program, put on some legit muscle, develop real frame and you’ll be shocked what can happen. This is the way.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/07/23 10:54 AM
2

Fair. I know "guy who fucks" has a different connotation here and my comment was meant as a joke, but I also think the clarification feels useful. I especially like this part. This is where I want to be headed. The latter makes choices: He chooses who he wants to fuck; how he wants to fuck; when he wants to fuck; above all doesn't settle for anything beneath his standards.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/07/23 06:40 PM
2

Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/07/23 06:37 PM
10

OYS #5 I’m 6 weeks into my Red Pill journey. I got the ban hammer for 2 weeks as a result of no fucking. I am happy to be a “guy who fucks”…or at least a guy who has fucked since the last OYS. There were 3 zones of feedback on my last OYS: having no game/a terrible attempt at getting sex, my mission, and ego. 46 years old, 6’0, 172lbs, married 8.5, together 12, 2 daughters 5 and 3. My Mission? This was an area where I was just writing boilerplate. So, honest starting place is what I want: to lay…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/07/23 10:32 AM
5

OYS #4 I’m a little over a month into my Red Pill journey. 46 years old, 6’0, 172lbs, married 8.5, together 12, 2 daughters 5 and 3. My Mission? I will be the leader of my family as a strong male presence and role model of a good man to my girls. To be a man who pursues his interests, who writes, develops friendships, finds success at work. Why am I here? I have been and continue to be validation seeking and approval seeking in my marriage and my life. I am in a Captain and Her Husband dynamic i…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/06/23 10:08 AM
1

This is a textbook shit test. How do you actually wish you'd handled this? What do you have ready for next time? I wish I had said something like, "you hear her, you can respond to her," which is how I want to field these types of comments in the future. This one is difficult because she is roping my kids into the conversation. Good. No big ol chat. Stfu. One thing that helped me keep my mouth shut: consider all the things you want to talk about with her, probably around bad sex, bitchy behavior…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/06/23 10:37 AM
1

Why is this frustrating you? I have been thinking about this recently. I realize that it is because it is a sex avoidance strategy on her part and I was not really accepting the fact that my wife, for the quite long moment, is just not that into me. So, I got frustrated at the facts on the ground. To your second point, the meaning of "no one was put into this world to meet your needs but you," is starting to sink in for me. I was hooked by a whole thought cluster of covert contacts: we had sex w…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/06/23 03:46 PM
1

I agree, I am attempting to be more aloof and detached from her behavior. That is a pose I can maintain professionally, and I can do it pretty well as a parent, so I want to do better.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/06/23 03:26 PM
1

Kettlebells definitely got me stronger and I have been able to do them at home and keep committed to them, which was the most important thing at the time. And the strength gains have not been insignificant. That said, even prior to discussing here, I have considered whether I should change up my lifting since I felt I had hit a plateau.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/06/23 09:02 PM
1

Thanks! Yeah, I think this reset will be good, but the moratorium did seem like it would cut both ways in a mostly unhelpful way. I have been going through this series actually as I was reading. I'll have to go back and re-listen to the part about the sex moratorium. Even if I am committed to not doing that, I find Rian Stone's perspectives useful.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/06/23 07:44 PM
3

All good notes. You are DEERing and also validation seeking in "look, I am doing all of the right things guys! I get it! Give me a gold star". Also Dunning-Kruger in full effect. True enough on both. I'll reflect on the first. As to the second, you don't know what you don't know, but I agree I am probably believing I know more than I do. Honestly, it has been eye opening and I do expect it to be a long journey. But reading in the order is good advice. I may switch back to WISNIFG. As to divorce,…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/06/23 03:01 PM
3

OYS #3 I’m just a few weeks into my Red Pill Journey. 46 years old, 6’0, 172lbs, married 8.5, together 12, 2 daughters 5 and 3. My Mission? I will be the leader of my family as a strong male presence and role model of a good man to my girls. To be a man who pursues his interests, who writes, develops friendships, finds success at work. Why am I here? I have been and continue to be validation seeking and approval seeking in my marriage and my life. I have been reflecting on what type of “dysfunct…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/06/23 10:41 AM
1

I have gone through this process. I was lifting heavier (DL, squat, bench, etc.) when I met my wife. Actually, we met in grad school and her first question to me (years before we started dating) was "how do you join the gym here?" I stopped lifting with some life transitions and had that shift in mentality you mention. Kettlebells were part of getting out of being a fat fuck and feeling strong again. And I like them, but I can admit I'm cruising and it isn't the same. They were a struggle to ove…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/23 04:13 PM
1

Kettlebells simply do not hold enough weight or challenge when it comes to lifting, and so you'll cruise like you always have, trying to live a problem free life, Nice Guy. Doing more of the same. Alright.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/23 08:24 PM
1

What's wrong with the 'bells? I agree with my mind needing to lift and hope that will have that outcome!
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/23 02:57 PM
0

OYS #2 I’m just a few weeks into my Red Pill Journey. 46 years old, 6’0, 172lbs, married 8.5, together 12, 2 daughters 5 and 3. My Mission? I will be the leader of my family as a strong male presence and role model of a good man to my girls. To be a man who pursues his interests, who writes, develops friendships, finds success at work. Why am I here? I have been and continue to be a validation seeking bitch in my marriage…and throughout my life as I reflect. I have been reading the sidebar, lift…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/23 10:52 AM
1

Thanks.
/r/askMRP05/06/23 01:58 PM
1

Thanks, I will! I am reading the books, but this sounds like what I want to read right now.
/r/askMRP03/06/23 08:42 PM
1

I could be open to this, but not now for reasons discussed in other comments.
/r/askMRP01/06/23 07:58 PM
1

Thanks for this. I know this will be difficult. I recognize that a carrot for working on myself has pretty much always been poon. Not an excuse, just a recognition that I have made a covert contract (or a bunch of covert contracts) with the universe/God/what have you that if I am this, this, and this, women will want to have sex with me. I like the idea of playing the game on my terms.
/r/askMRP01/06/23 01:37 PM
1

I realize that I really don't know how to be otherwise in this relationship. Did I even get her in the first place by being attractive? It is starting to dawn on me that I may have been a bitch in the relationship since the beginning. I am reading the sidebar (NMMNG right now) but I worry that if I choose to stay in my marriage I will not get what I want. I am STFU and working on myself, but I think I've been afraid to assert myself because she'll end things and I really don't want that...I need…
/r/askMRP01/06/23 11:13 AM
1

we'll see. I want a win.
/r/askMRP01/06/23 12:39 AM
1

Become attractive first, for you. Framing it this way is helpful. I know my mental models are shit..
/r/askMRP31/05/23 08:59 PM
1

thanks for this. Yeah, it is my pattern.
/r/askMRP31/05/23 08:57 PM
2

yeah. The red pill is a tough one to swallow. Not getting a vasectomy and your point is well taken.
/r/askMRP31/05/23 08:56 PM
1

I knew this was the spot I needed to be in. Thanks for this.
/r/askMRP31/05/23 08:55 PM
1

Thanks. It turned out nicely. I think already I can see a difference in how I approach my wife for sex and generally. I look back and I don't know that I would say I was a confident alpha in my dating days, but I did have some of those cocky, in it for me, here to get laid tendencies that I filed away as immature but I am seeing are pretty important in keeping me engaged.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/23 10:51 AM
1

OYS #1 Stats: 46 yo, 6’, 172 lb, married 8 years,together 12, 2 kids Lifts: kettlebells, I have worked a number of Pavel’s routines. Currently doing the Quick and the Dead. I swing and get up a 32 kg bell, could probably do more but I need to purchase the next bell up. Working on MP the 32, currently comfortable on 24 kg with that lift. Why am I here? first time poster.I am here because I got myself into a low sex marriage and I am not sure how to get out of it. I was dealing with this for years…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/23 11:03 AM
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