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SkierDude19 Archive

View 0 posts and 225 comments by SkierDude19 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

If I were you back in my twenties and had access to the internet and forums like this I may have avoided this crap. Absolutely not do not get married. You can be in a long term relationship just dont invite the law in by getting married. All you have to do is peruse these archives for an afternoon to see your possible future. You have a 50/50 chance of making it. So in the words of dirty harry do you feel lucky?! What I would give to be in your shoes and the opportunity to avoid this BS.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/20 06:43 PM
1

Many of us have been there. Wasn't it Yoda who said "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." "Death is a natural part of life. The relationshit is over, you will have ups and downs and when you feel the anger coming back from some trigger hit the gym immediately, better than any antidepressant you could take.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/20 01:30 AM
1

This! Kick her to the curb and move on
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/20 11:27 AM
1

Frig the divorce movies why wallow in self pity and continue to torture yourself. Watch a good guy movie to uplift your spirits. Comedy, action, history. I can recomend Alone in the Wilderness, a story of a man who built a cabin in the woods of Alaska by hand. Its therapeutic in so many ways. Let me know if it helps.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/20 03:23 PM
1

If you thinking about a prenup then you have your answer. I agree with this commenter wtf are you thinking
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/20 04:43 PM
3

Yup par for the course. Judges see this crap everyday. Again, worry about the big stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/20 02:27 PM
5

Women love to do this kind of crap and think that all the frivolous minutiae detail will somehow play a part in your divorce. Outside of you being a complete psychopathic loser it wont. Stop wasting your time and potential attorney fees if you get one. Record the shit that makes sense like what you have paid towards support and your living expenses. Should she do something egregious like hit you or the children then by all means record it. Just my two cents
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/20 11:47 AM
1

All excellent advice and very true you must act fast and file first. I got beat to filing and took a major screening because of it. They will leverage family court in ways you cannot. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/20 02:46 AM
7

13 payments is nothing you've gone this far a lttle more patience is warranted. Not worth the attorney fees to get it done.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/20 11:45 PM
5

Listen to this guys advice. You must get her to refinance and get your name off the mortgage and title
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/20 05:33 PM
1

Unfortunately this dude is right. While your list is what you see as fair and i would high five you if you could pull it off, it will not fly in court if that's where you end up. Family court will protect buttercup and make you pay dearly. If I'm wrong and you succeed then you are either one smart mofo or just very friggin lucky and I will raise a toast to you either way. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/20 07:44 PM
2

Good advice. Also pay ahead any expenses for yourself. Once divorce is filed take any remaining money and pay forward living expense for both of you or you risk her racking up bills and having the court order you to use have of that cash to pay her bills
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/20 09:47 PM
1

All good advice above
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/20 04:00 PM
2

Weigh the risks and reward. Find out what your attorney is thinking if you go to trial ie: costs and what impact will her failing to disclose assets. Put together and offer that barely passes the judge's sniff test so its most in your favor and gets approved. Weigh the pros and cons of all of it and make your decision
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/20 08:42 PM
1

Yes you can still mediate if you file first but dont count on her being reasonable. If you file first you control the narrative. Stay in the house so you share the hire ground but accept this comes with much risk need to protect yourself. If you leave you lose the higher ground and will be at a significant disadvantage. I speak from great experience with this.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/20 03:41 AM
1

She will lawyer up once her hen friends get wind of this. Stealth is to your advantage. Play nice, let her think you will not do anything while you plan your divorce with help of an attorney, file when courts open cause its gonna be a shit show from there. Be prepared to protect yourself with recordings if legal in your state. She will most likely try everything in her power to screw you over. Dont let her
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/20 03:40 AM
2

Word!
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/20 03:34 AM
3

If she wants nothing in return make this happen immediately before she changes her mind or someone else changes her mind. Like the other poster stated she may want to purchase her own home and cant until she is off the mortgage.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/20 02:03 AM
5

Agree with this dude. My stbx, the parasite as I like to refer to her to myself, did the same thing, basically wanted to upgrade everything she could. This is all part of the plan to set themselves up before they jettison you, most times leveraging the family court system any which way the can. When she asked me to buy her a car, which was after she said she wasn't in love with me anymore and wanted a separation, I took her car shopping. We tried several and then went home and discussed all the …
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/20 01:58 AM
3

He is a white night. Request a new mediator.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/20 02:32 PM
1

Lots of good advice here. Listen is the best you can do and support him and for goodness sake dont encourage him to fight for her it's over and she's having an affair, its textbook based on your Intel. Get him a book to read to help understand what's happening. DM menif you want ideas. Plenty of good websites and youtube channels too if hes not a book reader.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/20 01:14 AM
3

Sucks but there is an old saying: Dont let the neighbors see you rooting through the trash, ie: there is no going back. It's tough at first for sure but once you start doing some of the things the posters have offered you will heal. It's very important as part of the healing you learn about women that you were not taught that can help you heal and also in future relationships if you chose, just dont make the mistake of marrying again.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/20 01:08 AM
1

Nice! Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/20 04:05 PM
2

This!
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/20 04:09 AM
1

Yes no more talking she will try to extract info from you. Remember a fish that keeps its mouth closed will not get caught. Btw you are one lucky bastard dont screw it up, good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/20 04:07 AM
3

Softening you up for the kill bro dont bite remain stoic.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/20 01:43 AM
2

Good recommendation!
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/20 02:50 PM
1

Word!
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/20 07:32 PM
5

Spot on unfortunately.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/20 05:19 PM
1

Great advice.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/20 05:18 PM
1

All good advice! Get to lawyer asap. Start getting financial docs together and limit any credit card limits if joint and right before you file cancel them. You must be in stealth mode and file first while protecting yourself so you can stay in the home. This will be her very first tactic. She is cheating or is gonna cheat, sorry bro, time to move on she is no longer your wife and if like most will be your enemy soon.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/20 01:08 PM
5

My opinion would be the same even if a man wrote it. We love differently. Women cannot love you the way we love them they aren't wired that way. Once you accept that you will be able to move on.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/20 12:43 AM
23

Sorry no offence but I dont find that accurate at all, a typical "all about me peice" written by a woman. Women are initially attracted to men by what they bring to the table. They then set out to slowly change them into what they think they want, think death by a thousand cuts. Then when finished they are left with a product they know longer desire. Thank toxic feminism for most of this as well as the goal to eradicate masculism from this earth.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/20 10:19 PM
1

Good one!
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/20 06:13 PM
3

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but you haven't learned anything and are setting yourself up for going through this again. Your potential for divorce again just shot up to the 60%+ range should you choose to marry again. Why would you ever get someone pregnant while still married? Lastly, there isnt a "one", that's a fallacy, she's your one for now or Visa versa. What's done is done, stop worrying about what she says and your infidelity and focus on what your lawyer says. Buckle up, you are gonna…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/20 06:10 PM
3

True!
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/20 06:02 PM
2

This and dont look back....
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/20 06:00 PM
2

Subtract the non marital portion out and what it would have earned during the length of time of the marriage. Subtract this from the total amount and the remainder is what you would split. You would need to verify that with your lawyer but that's what I did.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/20 01:01 AM
2

Use this time to plan and contact lawyers they are taking phone calls. Get financial docs in order, start planning what you will divy up. Basically be well prepared for when Covid runs its course and we all get back to somewhat normal lives you will have been very well prepared and have a leg up on her. It's scary and will be difficult financially, but sounds like you are going to end up there at some point might as well try to protect yourself. AND DO THIS ALL ON THE DOWN LOW, DO NOT LET HER KN…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/20 12:48 AM
1

Nope
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/20 04:52 PM
8

Not true. This all based on biology and it's getting old with posters that like to throw out MGTOW as a bullshit excuse. I'm willing to bet you have read absolutely nothing about what all these posters have shared. There are plenty of resources out there. Hell, I'll even give you a woman so you dont have to also claim the overused " your just a man who is butt hurt" excuse. Go read the Manipulated Man by Esthar Villar for an eye opening take on how women operate by a woman then report back .
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/20 02:46 PM
2

Agree with all the posts above. Just wanted to add yes I agree with you but you have to include the family dog ;) Chris Rock has a great comedy routine regarding this.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/20 02:42 PM
1

Am I the only one here that is skeptical of the OP based on her command of the situation? You have only been married 5 years so depending on the state you are in will limit what you are awarded from assets and if at all you get spousal support. If you had a child I'm assuming you either worked before to take care of you and the child or were married. That may also be taken into consideration. I often am very leery when women post in a men's divorce forum. There always two sides of the story and …
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/20 03:26 PM
0

Many women do.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/20 03:20 PM
1

Get something else of equal value let this go.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/20 05:00 PM
2

Good advice but also record audio and video if legal in your state cause if you move back in the next step will be false allegations to get you to leave or have you removed. And dont take this as you dont have the right to live in your house, you do up until she goes sideways.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/20 04:51 PM
0

You have now stooped to a new low, let it go buttercup. I'm done arguing with a little mind.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/20 09:02 PM
2

Ring will be sold, marriage certificate will be backup TP since that's stuff is very hard to find these days! JK, probably just burn it in the woodstove.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/20 09:00 PM
3

Unfortunately quite true.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/20 08:58 PM
8

Don't let her have access un-supervised, who knows what could happen and you dont owe it to her to make it easier. Either pack up her crap for her and let her come get it, or if you must, let her come over without the boyfriend to come get it, your place, your rules. Either way have friends or family with you to avoid any last ditch effort regaeding false allegations.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/20 08:57 PM
3

We have all been there. Follow the advice you read in here often, lift weights, meditate, hobbies, and learn how women operate if you wish to continue in relationships at some point. Good luck to you and stay safe.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/20 08:54 PM
0

Wake up buttercup or continue being a weak "man" if that's what you claim to be, I stand by my doubts.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/20 08:46 PM
1

This!
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/20 05:20 PM
1

You are an anomaly
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/20 05:19 PM
-2

Ha yup I was right, hit a nerve, you are pathetically funny buttercup.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/20 03:44 AM
1

More BS.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/20 03:39 AM
1

I call BS.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/20 03:39 AM
0

That's a pipedream lawyers drive up litigation, any rookie knows that.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/20 03:38 AM
-1

Im thinking your a woman in a man's divorce forum, we get alot in here. You make no sense troll.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/20 03:27 AM
0

You are poorly informed poorly planned.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/20 02:06 AM
1

Yup
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/20 09:26 PM
1

75% of divorces are initiated by women, saved you some googling.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/20 09:23 PM
-1

No its truth.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/20 09:23 PM
0

Yes most always women, get real. The family court system is geared towards women not men just read the hundreds of stories on here, heck I had 4 lawyers tell me the same thing.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/20 09:22 PM
1

I call bs I'm above that already you obviously have not truly had a contentious case. Women leverage the system.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/20 01:48 AM
2

This guy is spot on! It happened to me, dont let it happen to you. He is not over exaggerating, this is real.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/20 02:31 AM
5

This! not the other advice about telling her you are done, absolutely dont do that. You need the element of surprise on your side as the court system is in her favor. Based on her lack of honor for her marriage be prepared for a high conflict divorce. Do not be naive, manybof us have been through this.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/20 01:00 AM
3

Good one!
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/20 11:22 PM
1

Yup. Now go read the Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi and your training will begin.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/20 10:42 PM
2

It's not better it's just different . It's good to get this off your chest but dont waste anymore time thinking about her. Women do this all the time and your assumptions are correct, they are adept at ruining their lives and everyone around them rather easily with no remorse. She may pine for what she gave up, she may not, who gives a shit not your problem anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/20 07:54 PM
1

Good plan dont let her deviate.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/20 04:15 PM
1

Most of us thought the same you aren't different so hope that helps.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/20 04:14 PM
1

This x2!
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/20 06:08 PM
3

Be the asshole that kicks her out. There you go, done, your welcome!
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/20 01:24 AM
2

Your situation is textbook. That's how women try to exit the marriage by dragging up past bullshit and directing their anger towards you while playing the victim. It's almost like they have a playbook and/or it's hard wired in them. Went through the same bullshit and wished I had someone to pull me aside and knock some sense into me. So consider this me paying it forward. Kick this women to the curb and go build a better life while she runs hers into the ground with the sloth she is hooked up wi…
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/20 01:21 AM
1

Good plan. Start recording her if your country allows.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/20 01:10 AM
1

They all become toxic and vindictive and leverage the kids. I have to agree as much as it sounds like bullshit. Do what you have to and stick to facts and play the long game. These highly volatile women eventually do themselves in they cant help themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/20 01:10 AM
1

I get it man I have a Harley lowrider that I'm fighting to keep it in divorce. I am also prepared to let it go if it comes to that, I know there are more out there. I also would like to get some accessories but am exercising patience. Spend the time researching and deploying restraint. It will be much sweeter when over and you can buy that bike.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/20 01:02 AM
5

Let's just say this, magistrate will see this and figure if you can buy a motorcycle then you can afford to give more money to poor little cupcake ie: stbx. Patience is paramount.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/20 09:42 PM
3

Get an agreement written up asap with the help of an attorney or mediator but do not tell her you saw a lawyer keep it on the down low. Now hear this and hear this well, YOU NEED TO LEVERAGE HER PRESENT DEMEANOR AND GET THIS DIVORCE DONE IMMEDIATELY. Time is on your side but wont be for long. The longer she waits the more opportunity for her to question herself and be poisoned by other divorced hens. You must act fast, I cannot stress that enough or you will lose this golden opportunity.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/20 10:22 PM
1

This is true!
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/20 01:57 PM
4

Good advice but doesn't often work because women want it all when going through the machine and end up with less than they think they deserve
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/20 01:55 PM
2

Same here that's ridiculous advice
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/20 01:53 PM
2

So will she, who gives a shit tell her to pound sand.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/20 02:58 AM
6

This man speaks the truth. We all die alone whether we have a partner or not so dont succumb to that bullshit. It's all part of the tactics to keep you in line and conforming. She will most likely divorce again, consider yourself lucky to be moving on and dont give it a second thought. Enjoy your life you are creating.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/20 02:56 AM
1

I would not do this as much as we would all like to. Family court is not fair and heavily weight towards your wife, they can get away with much more than you can. I speak from experience not speculation.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/20 08:24 PM
2

Personally I think you are taking this virus situation way to seriously but I do applaud your preparedness. Time to worry about yourself and your child, f@#$k her, let her do her own lessons learned, no longer your problem. If she isnt willing to take care of herself then it's on her dime.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/20 08:22 PM
3

Let me speak from recent experience on what I would do if could go back in time. Yes, I paid off all marital debt and then left about 20k in my personal savings to deal with any future bills and lawyer fees. Big mistake, she promptly went out and ran up 10k of frivolous credit card debt that I was then ordered to pay off under an interim order so she got half without trying very hard. What I would do instead is pay off all marital debt as I did, but then I would have spent most of the money in m…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/20 08:17 PM
1

Most likely fake nevertheless there is a great lesson in this story. Fly under the radar with your intentions and prepare in the shadows when your are dealing with a potential contentious wife. Let her think you want to work it out while you work out your plan. Most of us thought our wife would never be like that until we were indoctrinated into the hell that is family court.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/20 08:10 PM
4

Well stated!
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/20 03:37 PM
0

File a restraining order against her problem solved.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/20 12:22 AM
6

Because the amount of money calculated often isn't entirely needed to take care of the kids and mommy usually ends up spending it on herself or other stuff. And because we men don't like or need the law to tell us how to take care of our children. And because we men often are more financially responsible. I could go on and on, give the guy a break for crying out loud.. ...
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/20 06:45 PM
6

This dude knows his shit, listen!
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/20 11:19 PM
2

Good advice here. And when you are ordered to give it to her write on the check For Child Support Only.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/20 11:18 PM
5

Only problem with love is that men and women love differently and if you dont understand that and how to address the different needs then doomed to failure.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/20 11:12 PM
3

it's both! Societal expectations and pressures not to mention toxic feminism for that. Those things were much different or didnt exist with the age group you mention.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/20 11:10 PM
3

What's with all the women in here? And its both!
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/20 11:09 PM
6

Agree with this. The alternative is if you think there will be child support do the calculations and figure out what it is then write that on the check when you give her one. I personally would check in with a lawyer asap on this as the original comment would have me concerned. Forget about the relationship it's over, you cant go back no matter how badly you want to. If you try she will use it to leverage a better deal in divorce. Sounds like it's going well now but be prepared for it to go side…
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/20 02:57 PM
5

Typical strategy of most women is to play on our emotions, you got played, sorry man but don't let it happen again or you will get screwed in family court
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/20 02:44 AM
1

Awesome on getting in shape. You may work with them but you dont understand them, once you do you will heal and be a better man. Many resources, The Rational Male is just one good book out there.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/20 11:39 PM
6

Like others have said you are one lucky mother f@#$ker. Dont be ashamed not your fault. Hit the gym, meditate, read up on how women operate then go crush it. The universe gave you a cold, hard lesson and also a second chance at a very young age. Now go buy an lottery ticket cause you are one lucky dude. Good luck to you, you will live a great life.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/20 10:00 PM
5

Well done sir you avoided another crisis. Use this experience to start learning more how women operate, you were nothing more than a meal ticket. Beware from this point forward as there will be more who test you.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/20 01:41 PM
0

This is a joke right?!
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/20 11:03 PM
8

Ditto. It's how she feels at the moment. Women like to administer emotional pain. F@#$k the bitch and move on like yesterday.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/20 10:59 PM
3

They all play victims. Lawyer up and dump this bitch asap. Much good advice and opinions in the responses.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/20 11:57 PM
1

YMMV but in some states If you get her to agree to non standard child support whether it be more money or length of time it can never be amended. Again, run this by your lawyer
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/20 12:56 AM
2

Let it stay that way but as always check with your attorney
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/20 12:54 AM
2

Not lying, just not sharing big difference. Besides there is no guarantee it will happen. Even if it does let her find by working for it, no need to make it easier. Check with your attorney but I'm inclined to say this posters opinion shouldn't scare you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/20 12:53 AM
3

Leave. If you bought that house you can guarantee it wont "fix" her and next thing you know you will be kicked out divorced filed and you will be on the hook. Do not succumb to emotional blackmail f@#$k that. You need to read up on how women really operate. You are being groomed.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/20 03:48 AM
2

Nailed it!
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/20 12:30 AM
1

If marriage is so great in your opinion what are you doing in a men's divorce forum?
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/20 07:03 PM
8

It doesn't, that simple.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/20 01:48 PM
2

No incels here douchebag, you got alot of nerve coming in here whining like a little bitch them calling people incels. Getting married again, who's the idiot? You deserve everything you receive now get the F#$%K out of here pussy so we can help real men
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/20 01:28 AM
5

Like others say DO NOT LET HER KNOW YOU KNOW ABOUT HER INFIDELITY OR YOUR PLANS TO DIVORCE! Do not move out but protect yourself with recording all conversations if legal in your state to protect against false domestic violence charge. Get all your finances in order. Things will most likely get ugly as she doesn't respect you or the marriage. In order for peace you must prepare for war. Remain stoic don't feed her anything. Devour this subreddit. Read Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi to learn how …
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/20 04:59 PM
1

Word!
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/20 05:30 PM
2

Good keep educating yourself it will be the best thing you can do next to hitting the gym and meditating.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/20 03:08 PM
5

Read Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi and it will help you understand and heal
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/20 01:29 PM
5

Well dont screw up and marry again or you have a greater risk of a repeat.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/20 03:02 AM
1

This!
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/20 11:57 PM
1

You can plan on it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/20 10:44 PM
3

No she's cheated before marriage and says she hasn't cheated but been out to lunch with an old fling, dont buy that. You need to cut ties now, you will be better off if you divorce now vs put all your effort into the marriage only to have her divorce you later when it will cost you more financially and emotionally. Tough call but you gotta do what is best for you and your children. She doesn't respect you or the marriage. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/20 12:57 AM
2

That's because women in general dont care about your struggles they just want you when you win. Been there done that, sorry man.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/20 01:19 PM
7

First mistake was letting her know you had a camera and it on video as you could have documented more as gut hurting as that is but that's behind you now. Do not play your hand anymore to let her start planning. Get to a lawyer immediately and get the upper hand, file first. Meanwhile stay stoic and let her think you are doing nothing about it until she is served then be ready for her to turn into a royal biatch! Protect yourself with recordings from there on out if legal in your state. Get her …
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/20 12:17 PM
4

This! Divorce stats are 50% of marriages end with women filing 70% of the time so ask yourself if you are a gambling man. Dont invite the law into your relationship by getting married. Read many stories on this forum and others and avoid the oh yeah that wont happen to me, remember you have a 50/50 chance. Better yet read up on how women operate to understand what you are getting into. If I could do it all over again I wouldn't have done it rather seek out committed ltr with a properly vetted wo…
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/20 01:15 PM
2

That's great, good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/20 02:09 PM
4

Not necessarily. I haven't agreed to anything and am not going down without a fight but you must understand the system is setup to protect her not you. They will manipulate the system any which way they can to beat you down and there isnt much you can do about it other than pay more lawyer bills. If I can give you any advice file first and be prepared for a shit show including all sorts of lies and unfairness cause it sounds like your stbx is preparing to take it that way.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/20 01:45 PM
5

Well the system is rigged against men, you obviously haven't been through it yet, you are in for a rude awakening. I dont see this sub as negative, just a bunch of guys that have been through the crap trying to help other guys out. I'm sure we all wanted an amicable divorce but more times than not it doesn't go down that way. Your wife is exhibiting classic behavior that is setting you up for a nasty divorce and you haven't figured that out yet. Most of us who are now informed dont hate women we…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/20 01:28 PM
3

If you have been married over 10 years and have kids I would ditch the second job or it will count towards income and you will be tied to that until your commitments end
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/20 12:28 PM
3

Maybe you should let the man do his own research and fight his own fight. Those questions are for lawyers as they could get you in trouble.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/20 12:25 PM
1

I would like to hear the other side of the story. You are in the wrong forum btw.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/20 01:31 AM
3

Remember this and remember it well: "What a great advantage a man can have over women, if he only knew what cold and calculating thoughts are going through her mind.... while her eyes are brimming with tears." -Esther Vilar
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/20 10:45 PM
3

File for divorce
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/20 01:10 PM
1

Be wary of that lawyer, go see some more.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/20 01:15 AM
2

You need to give up that thought or you will be destroyed in family court. She no longer wants you, its rough man I know but it's the cold hard truth. You need to learn how women operate to help you heal and get through this mess. Good luck to you.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/20 01:12 AM
2

You need to man up and divorce this woman immediately. There is good advice in this thread. Once a cheater always a cheater as she has demonstrated. You cannot take her back, she will never respect you, that's a hard pill to swallow but it's TRUE. I get the kids thing too but you have to look out for yourself, no one else will and you can be damn sure she will look out for herself once the divorce bs starts.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/20 01:08 AM
1

Thanks much!
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/20 10:34 PM
1

So if you are paying child support as well as mortgage, insurance and taxes you are good to go even if the other spouse files first?
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/20 10:31 PM
1

She most likely will not be allowed to do that by the court. Get an emergency interim order in place immediately
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/20 10:30 PM
1

Can you clarify 50% of the needs. Is that monetary or whom they stay with. I always assumed it was who they stayed with the most and who pays the most with the latter being the tie breaker.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/20 10:26 PM
1

Agree with this. Yes lawyers like to stir up controversy and billable hours. Yes there are some real sleezebags out there, and yes there are some good ones. Take this lawyers advice and assume nothing. Be civil but be stoic. Plenty of time to be nicey nice when all said and done just not during the heat of the battle or you will be taking advantage of. She has already telegraphed that to you with her harsh comments bullshit statement that was in the paperwork. Do not be naive.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/20 10:24 PM
3

Good keep it up!
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/20 10:59 PM
3

Refrain from drinking makes it much worse
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/20 09:38 PM
2

This is also true!
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/20 12:34 AM
2

This is very true!
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/20 12:33 AM
3

Not a lawyer but I believe if they are a gift you are clear but you would want a paper trail to prove that. Better yet dont deposit and pay the lawyer the cash, no trail no worries.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/20 08:56 PM
1

File first or get screwed
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/20 03:56 AM
2

This!
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/20 03:55 AM
15

I did early in the process. Then I learned all about how women operate and realized it wasn't all my fault. Huge motivator to get out of bed and stop the pitty party. Hit the gym hard. Remember this, you are the prize not your stbx. Society has it all screwed up.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/20 03:54 AM
2

Been there done that, never again
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/20 12:44 AM
11

Divorce this awful human being yesterday!
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/20 12:40 AM
3

Same here
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/20 12:33 AM
1

I have read several books and many blogs and I have yet to find a book that helps men out in the horrible family court system. Most are written for amicable divorce situations which are few and far between. You would have to have some real life examples and reviews from guys who have been through the ringer in my opinion. The most help I have found is reading books on how women truly operate. Let's face it the court system is against us. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/20 01:27 AM
2

There is a huge lesson to be learned from all this. We signed up for a game where we were not provided the rules. Someone already said it, Redpill will help you understand the rules, and more importantly: heal. Once you understand the why it allows you to process quicker and understand while some of it may have been your fault since it takes two to frig things up at least you will learn how not to do it again.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/20 08:28 PM
1

Get the f@#k out asap!
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/20 08:23 PM
3

Good luck it's the worst battle of your life. Do not let your guard down.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/20 08:22 PM
3

Stop being a plow horse and start taking charge of the relationship. She's testing you to see just how far you will go to placate her. Set boundaries. Once divorce word is uttered you can never go back. Start preparing on your own for the fight of your life. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/20 08:21 PM
1

Hire a lawyer immediately, plan in silence. When you are ready deploy your plan. Stealth is your friend. She does not respect you and cannot understand what you went through and quite frankly doesn't care to. Women dont care about men's struggles, they just want to reap the rewards when we are successful. You owe to yourself to build a new life without her. Be the man you know you can and want to be. Start reading shit, good shit, about what it means to be a Man. Good luck and thank you for your…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/20 08:16 PM
1

That's standard protocol, separate you from family and friends. She is talking like that because she is testing you and no longer respects you. Next she will change you into a supplicant pussy, think death by a thousand cuts, then it's over divorce would be imminent. You need to set the frame and have her operate in yours rather than the other way around. There is much to learn PM if you are interested. You have a 50/50 shot at saving this if you want but absolutely must be on your terms.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/20 01:36 PM
1

Listen to this dude and get your head out of your arse. She is done with you and just calculating her next move whether it be tomorrow or next hear. I will give you credit you have recognized a few tactical items she is trying to deploy like the moving back West, dont do it! Go read The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi as another poster suggested, IMMEDIATELY like your life depended on it, and your vision and choice will become crystal clear. You are acting like a whining pussy and women aren't at…
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/20 03:18 AM
4

This is so true!
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/20 03:28 AM
3

This! She doesn't want to lose your support but most likely is silently preparing, be careful keep on your toes.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/20 09:10 PM
2

All great advice, hang in there bro!
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/20 09:07 PM
1

Wow sorry man!
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/20 07:44 PM
1

I thought bonuses were no longer marital property once divorced, how did she get a portion of yours? Was this something you negotiated?
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/20 06:31 PM
5

Not a lawyer but not married long you should fair well
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/20 03:33 AM
1

Nailed it!
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/20 10:43 PM
1

Guy, nailed it!
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/20 10:33 PM
1

Ditto that!
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/20 10:31 PM
2

If she's the mother of someone else's kid then definitely not your problem. Just trying to advise to not add any more chaos to your situation. Good luck though hope it goes well for you.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/20 10:28 PM
5

No longer your problem and dont make it your problem.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/20 10:07 PM
2

Growing apart is such a bullshit canned response to a failed relationship. While the responses here are spot in many areas they dont address the underlying reason. A vast majority of the time its because we didn't fulfill the appropriate role in the relationship, rather we succumb to current societal pressures which is a twisted view of what we should be and do. We as men are being vilified in many different methods and what used to make us attractive to women is now being squashed. Thank toxic …
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/20 09:55 PM
0

Dont care, stop comparing and enjoy and appreciate your SO.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/20 01:57 AM
1

Most divorce lawyers suck an no they dont care about you. Get one from a law firm that seems to know their shit. Stay away from solo practitioners unless you like poor communication and preparation.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/20 01:55 AM
2

Good luck MA. is brutal on men in divorce court.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/20 01:51 AM
2

Yup it's in the playbook along with "he is controlling" dump her asap.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/20 01:50 AM
1

It was your turn now its someone else's turn. She got bored. Most likely will happen to him too. Consider yourself lucky this didnt drag on longer, divorce the woman asap.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/20 01:48 AM
5

Get a lawyer file for divorce and get an interim order in place asap to prevent that or you will have to deal with it ie you are screwed
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/20 09:49 AM
1

Agreed your gut knows what your head hasn't figured out yet.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/20 08:40 PM
1

This poster is dead on!
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/20 08:39 PM
2

Yes that's one resource.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/20 01:09 AM
2

Don't share your plans with your stbx discuss plans with your lawyer only. File first and get a parental plan in place and possible temp child support. Sounds like you can expect the worse, she sounds like an awful person if what you say is correct. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/20 12:29 AM
1

It's called Hypergamy.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/20 02:18 PM
1

Maybe buy 10
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/20 02:17 PM
2

I will PM you.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/20 02:12 PM
1

Run, dont walk, to a good lawyer and get this toxic woman out of your life. Maybe you may get gain sole custody of your boy as it seems she doesn't want to parent him, but dont count on it. You and your children dont deserve this, even with a few moments of near normal here and there.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/20 02:07 PM
1

Not unless it's in the interim order or final divorce decree but you must check with your lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/20 02:00 PM
2

There is a saying : Dont root around in the trash which translates to do not take her back. She disrespected you and your love and wants to keep you as a backup plan and have her cake and eat it too. This all too common with most women these days in these types of situations. And beleive it it not if you do take her back she will gain even more disrespect for you for caving in. I wouldn't have believed any of this myself if I hadn't experienced it and then later validated it with some excellent …
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/20 02:00 PM
2

True that. Gym is your friend. If you are now open to learning and healing I have a few books to recommend. They will change your life, for the better. You need to learn all about women that we were never taught. Helped me heal and move on and I was a mess after a 18 year marriage ended abruptly
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/20 01:47 PM
5

All good advice here but understand this and I understand it well, women can never love a man the way we love them, they are not wired that way. As another poster stated it was just your turn, now its someone else's turn/problem. Know it hurts and hard to accept but it's the truth, been there. Once you learn how women truly operate then you will know how to better manage any future relationships while protecting yourself both financially and emotionally. Stay I control next time and you won't le…
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/20 12:04 AM
4

Heard the same. Means you are done but she isnt ready to jettison you yet. Means she's bored and you aren't doing enough to stimulate her. F'that you might want to think about moving on.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/19 03:19 PM
2

Sometimes the women we meet and lair up with extinguish our light and we let them only to realize we never should have. Soon we rediscover the light and learn to never let someone take it away again. Be the man you were meant to be and never change.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/19 06:59 PM
3

File first good luck glad to see you recognize its over
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/19 06:48 PM
4

Do nor discuss your plans for divorce but immediately go to a good lawyer and get the ball rolling. It will not be amicable, you are in for a shitstorm. Those of us who have been through it are trying to pay it forward and save others. Good luck Bro
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/19 06:45 PM
1

Previous advice sounds reasonable and if you can do it without lawyers awesome. Consider going to a private mediator too to help draft it up. Just be prepared just in case she starts talking to her divorced friends and then and goes to see a lawyer it will go down hill very quickly and amicable will be an afterthought.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/19 02:18 PM
1

Don't know what state you are in but you want to avoid 10 year mark where you may have to pay spousal support.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/19 01:47 AM
1

This!
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/19 03:25 AM
1

Because your comments tell me all I need to know about you, especially the Hitler comparison. Also your opinion of the book tells me you dont get it, 920 reviews on Amazon at nearly a 5 star rating. I'm done debating this with you, it's simply not very productive. Continue to beleive what want, but do everyone a favor be more informed and use rational thought when you chose to reply negatively to people's comments. And btw, I still think your a girl.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/19 01:45 AM
2

Thanks it is and continues. Learned alot and want to pay it forward to save other men if I can.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/19 01:39 AM
2

Good on you!. I got kicked out by a false order to leave with threats of false DV threat and a shitty, white night lawyer. Then I was ordered to pay everything while she slowly alienated the kids from me as she was with them 24/7. Dont let this happen to you, this is one of the reasons I post on this board.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/19 12:32 AM
2

Common thread in her is we all get married hoping our wives dont change while they all hope we do. Then when they change us to the doting responsible safe version of a man they think they want they get bored stimulated then jump ship. They are very adapt at ruining their lives and the lives of others around them at this point. So this is all counterintuitive, you need to be the man she met or wishes subconsciously you were.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/19 12:21 AM
1

Yes it is.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/19 12:17 AM
1

Ditto here its f'n unbelievable.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/19 12:14 AM
2

Natural calm which is magnesium drink. Also second the mediation. Google Natural Stress relief which is a very affordable and easy version of TM.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/19 12:13 AM
2

DO NOT MOVE OUT or you will be screwed. Do what others say and record everything. Once you leave you pay for everything and get manipulated hard. I speak from experience. I have no freaking idea where women come off automatically figuring they can kick the husband out especially when they most likely are paying for everything.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/19 12:11 AM
1

How did it go?
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/19 12:05 AM
1

Once she realizes she can no longer control or manipulate you her tune may change so be prepared for that. You must start your healing to be able to handle this or you are toast. Not going to be easy it f'n hard but you will be stronger in the end. Now never repeat this again, ok to make mistakes just make sure they are new ones!
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/19 12:04 AM
2

No prob understand what a gut punch it is. Once you learn how this all works with women it will help you heal. If you are interested in resource PM me and I will pass on a couple. Otherwise hope for the best for you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/19 11:59 PM
1

I get it bro but as hard as it is you must learn women will never love you the same way you love them. You are a resource and expendable and you are not endearing yourself any better to her. Its counterintuitive but she wont respect you until you man up and stand up for yourself and move on. She will appreciate you more in the end.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/19 11:57 PM
4

Take your fair half share and do not let her manipulate you, stay strong and good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/19 11:54 PM
1

Great advice. Happened to me, once you are out you will get financially drained, I'm still paying. Be wary of white knight lawyers ie anyl lawyer that sides with the woman, you want someone to save your arse the best they can. She legally cannot kick you out.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/19 01:23 AM
1

This poster nailed it. Dont worry about being a chump, most of us have been at one time or another but the smart ones learn and become stronger. Start reading Rollo Tommassi and it will help you make sense of all this and heal. We men are programmed to take care of the women we love and some tend to exploit that to their advantage.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/19 01:18 AM
1

She's using you for attention and you are giving it to her. As someone else said you need to man up, cut ties and keep it business like. She is no longer your problem, let her seek help elsewhere. She cheated on you twice man, wake the F up.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/19 01:10 AM
1

Wow sorry dude that's truly awful but not surprising. As others suggested she was planning this all along. Get an attorney asap godspeed!
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/19 01:02 AM
1

Really that's what you took from his book? By the way there are 3 in the series and he's a happily married man with a daughter so I highly doubt you read him. Go read Esthar if you really want to learn something from a womans perspective and she is far more critical of her peer group then Rollo ever was.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/19 12:19 AM
1

You should read those books before you make an opinion/assumption. One of those books was written by a woman, they are both very valuable resources. If you are going to play with fire you must know how to manage it or risk getting burned.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/19 08:58 PM
1

This!
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/19 05:06 PM
1

This!
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/19 05:05 PM
0

I usually dont reply to these type of comments but I guess you must be a woman so I will reply using your analogy. If I get bitten by a certain type of dog I learn how to stay away from that type of dog. I may even read up on how to properly vette out good dogs vs bad dogs or more importantly good dog behavior vs bad dog behavior so I can better manage my contribution to the relationship. Never said i hate all women that's your take not mine. Hopefully I dummed this down enough for you.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/19 05:04 PM
5

It's over you are now her backup plan should she not find a better replacement which is the goal. Its rough but true, suck it up and divorce asap and move on. Not saying its gonna be easy but it must be done
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/19 02:42 PM
1

When you step up and become the man you are supposed to be.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/19 02:31 PM
1

Rest assured if the shoe was on the other foot she would leave you in a heartbeat, plenty of stories on here and other forums of just that. And before someone downgrades my comment in speak from some experience. Supported my wife emotionally and financially through a potentially life ending illness for 7 years only to have her file for divorce once she felt she had recovered then told me she hadn't loved me for years despite saying so. Kicked out of the house and children alienated against me. W…
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/19 11:58 AM
0

Retain a lawyer asap and file first for exclusive possession of the home because if you dont she will and you will be kicked out of your house and stuck paying for everything. Get all financial docs out of the house and change passwords on all accounts. If you have joint accounts and credit cards be prepared to cancel all of that before filing. Check recording laws in your state to see if you can record conversations should she chose to go the DV route. Do not tell her you are recording and do n…
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/19 01:54 PM
2

Same thing happened to me (18 yes married 2 teens) and I was the best one minute then I dont love you anymore the next. 9 months in and already has turned into a money hungry bitch so be prepared for that. Lawyer up asap and file first, do not let her know this. Next get The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi and read asap as if your life depended on it. Then read his two other books in the series. You will then learn the truth and that this is really over and may turn shitty before you know it whet…
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/19 10:30 PM
1

Agree validation comes from within. You should read The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/19 03:02 AM
1

Same thing here. I traveled exclusively for work before and during marriage and it's being used against me as an absentee father despite the fact that I spent much of my weekend time on fun sports activities with the children. She even tried to get me to go to therapy and I didn't see that trick coming now that I've read this sub I can see that was all part of the plan. It's getting ugly and I'm getting more and more in the financial hole while she lives in the marital home with the kids and dog…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/19 09:03 PM
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