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Smart-Incident3403 Archive

View 2 posts and 32 comments by Smart-Incident3403 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Smart-Incident3403/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 09:06 PM
1

Smart-Incident3403/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 05:31 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Health and dental insurance were figured into the child support payments by the court. I’d love to make a deal for balancing out expenses but she’s impossible to negotiate with. It’s all emotions for her, not numbers. She cites emotional labor and rides to school during the discussion.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 10:56 PM
1

She has been stuck with the payoffs. I’m not paying any of that, but it caused a lot of consternation before and while separating the accounts. It’s kind of a whole other story.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 10:43 PM
6

If you got a 2nd job, even if she was awarded an increase in CS, it would only be a percentage of the extra money you were making. You would still have more money in your pocket at the end of the day, even if it’s not 100%.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 07:39 PM
1

I object to paying it because that’s what the child support is for. It’s not on my account either so I have no control. My ex also has a history of not paying things and letting them go to collections. I don’t want to reimburse her if she didn’t even pay the bill.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 07:16 PM
1

Then what are you worried about? You are reinforcing my point. She will be an adult and can make her own decisions. You can only influence her decision, you can’t force it on her. You can tell her you think it’s a poor choice and you won’t be supporting it. That’s your decision. Her mother also has the right to influence her decision. Hell, she’ll have a hundred different sources of influence when making this decision. Who has the most influence? Whose opinion does she respect the most?
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 06:54 PM
1

I’m not arguing that it’s a good decision to pay that much for a bfa. She can decide to pay for it on her own. That would factor into her decision on where to go to school. It’s OPs decision whether he wants to help pay or not. They each have decisions to make.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 06:47 PM
1

It’s your daughter’s decision. Talk to her. Develop a relationship with your daughter where she respects your opinion. And once she decides, won’t she pretty much be 18 by that time? Won’t the court be pretty much powerless by then? She’ll be an adult and can decide to spend time with whoever she wants. This seems like it doesn’t have much to do with divorce, but everything to do with being a good dad and the relationship you have with your daughter. Talk to her LISTEN to her, and ask why she wa…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 11:04 PM
12

My ex has had a boyfriend for three months. We divorced four and half months ago, and separated six months. We were married for SIXTEEN years. I feel so discarded. I feel like she threw away 16 years so she could feel butterflies and new relationship energy.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 09:59 PM
2

My ex was on some ADHD groups where the advice to every relationship problem was “you shouldn’t have to mask. Your neurotypical husband will never really understand you. You should separate and find someone who does.” It was gross how quick they all jumped to that without knowing any real details. I only started digging around her social media after she asked for a separation because I had just trusted her before. Once I read all that toxic amateur therapy nonsense she was following I started co…
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 02:16 AM
1

I would add a clause about how it should be paid and reimbursed. Costs will be split 50/50 if both parents agree to the extracurricular activity. Cost will be paid for by the parent that enrolls the child and the other parent will reimburse the parent that paid 50% of the cost within 60 days. My ex is telling me it’s “ridiculous” that she would reimburse me. She’s saying I should have contacted her at the time of payment and we each should have each paid 50% to the provider. I know it’s because …
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 09:37 PM
11

I’m not going to generalize all women, but my ex absolutely couldn’t take any accountability and had an uncanny ability to justify all her decisions and shitty actions. She pulled back emotionally so far in the last couple years of our marriage. And while I could have been more attentive, I absolutely was trying especially after starting therapy. But no matter what I did, she just found something else I didn’t do or did wrong. Whenever the therapy started focusing on how she also needed to atten…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 06:34 PM
8

I’d tell your ex that she’s welcome to involve her boyfriend in her parenting decisions, but he wont be involved in your parenting decisions. Then just gray rock the situation.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 11:15 AM
5

This was my experience. She complained about everything she possibly could. I tried to take accountability. But when the therapist asked her to take some responsibility for how she was acting and treating me, it was shocked pikachu face.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/26 12:44 AM
1

The second half of the sentence is “so I can’t use that as leverage.” GTFO.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 01:55 AM
7

“Unfortunately, he is doing very well in school…” That’s about where I stopped reading. This reads like rage bait fake internet story.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 11:46 PM
3

Your last two paragraphs could have been written by me almost word for word. I can’t have a logical conversation with my ex about the division of shared costs or the logistics of the kids without her turning it into an emotional battle and bringing up 100 non sequiturs. For example, we were on a shared cellphone account, and asking her to reimburse me for her portion can’t just be a question of the math. She’d rather be on her own plan then just reimburse each other. Now we each pay a $50 more a…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 09:23 PM
6

I know it’s incredibly difficult but you need to accept you’re getting divorced. She’s not your girl anymore. As the rappers say “she belongs to the streets”. This was an incredibly hard idea for me to accept as well. I would recommend you stop tracking her. It’s just an exercise in self mental torture. Kick her off the family share plan if you are the head, or remove yourself from the plan. Start separating all your shit. It’s going to have to happen eventually, the sooner it happens the sooner…
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/26 12:50 PM
3

I like my wife like I like my coffee.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 11:34 PM
7

My therapist gave me the analogy of hiking to the top of a mountain. Mostly the trail goes up as you go along, but sometimes the trail goes downhill for a little bit. You’re still headed in the right direction along the trail even when you go downhill a little.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 09:01 PM
2

I occasionally wake up too early and have ruminating thoughts. That’ been the hardest part for me. Nights were tough at first but it was easier to distract myself. Instead of laying in bed ruminating, get out of bed and read, journal, etc. If it’s early morning I’ll get out of bed, do some pushups then start getting ready for the day. I also read self help books in the morning if I’m up early. Look up Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques for getting to sleep and to prevent rumination. I…
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 04:24 PM
1

It’s a devastating feeling. It’s hard not to think about. At first I kept looking for clues if she was going out and how “far” she was going. It was probably the worst thing I could do. So I just started just assuming she was having sex. If she wasn’t, she would eventually. It’s unavoidable really. I figured the quicker I came to terms with it the sooner I would get over it. Honestly the hardest part for me was waking up too early in the AM and ruminating and wondering if some dude had slept ove…
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 09:30 PM
10

What is quitting your job going to accomplish? I’d always recommend having another job lined up before quitting, unless you’re ready to retire.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 06:33 PM
2

How long has it been since separation/divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/26 02:09 AM
1

I couldn’t help think to myself that a short passionate relationship doesn’t sound so bad to me right now.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 08:46 PM
1

I recommend it. It helps to talk through your feelings.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 07:53 PM
4

You are exactly how I was 6 months ago, right down to length of marriage and relationship. I’m sure it sucks for you as you see the life you’ve built and the future you’ve planned fall apart all around you. I would recommend getting into therapy and start going to the gym to get some restlessness out. I too put all the blame on myself at first and was willing to do anything to prevent the divorce from moving forward. While I think it’s healthy to recognize what you could’ve done differently I do…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 11:18 PM
1

Curious how long you were married for?
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 12:23 AM
1

Have you done any therapy?
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 11:38 PM
2

The thing I miss the most when my kids aren’t with me is saying goodnight and tucking them into bed, and being the first to say good morning to them when they wake up. Those low key moments are irreplaceable.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 11:35 PM
1

Avoid her social media. Took me a bit to stop. It’s like picking a scab; it’s compulsive and feels good in the moment, but it causes you to bleed and prevents healing. I’ve been good about not checking for a couple weeks now and it’s really helped.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 01:03 AM
4

I think couples counseling would benefit couples early on in a relationship before problems arise. It could help provide a path to resolving conflicts before they get out of hand. But the premise that therapy isn’t going to save a marriage is spot on, at least in my case. The whole “when women initiate” section feels like you observed and described my specific situation. Individual therapy has helped me cope with the divorce, but I’m realizing that I could never fully resolve her unhappiness unl…
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 06:10 PM
2

Your desire for her to acknowledge the pain and destruction she’s caused you and your daughters is the same thing I’ve struggled the most with. But what I’m coming to realize is that my ex will NEVER take any accountability. You and I are both hoping to get water out of a rock. You will never get an apology. You will never get a logical explanation. As much as you think these things will help you find closure, they will never come from her. “Closure” will only come from the work you do yourself.…
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 12:51 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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