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View 1 posts and 163 comments by Smolfrend on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
943

GLOBAL RESISTANCESmolfrend/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 03:55 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
49

I. SWEAR. I was almost turned off to OLD because I made the dumbest mistake of putting my video game interests in my description. Not that OLD isn't a dumpster fire as is, but the quality of guys that I attracted by putting that there? Insanely low. One guy did the quizzing "if you're a real fan name blah", another asked me what my personal philosophy was then proceeded to mansplain the concepts I named. Another guy started by negging then "if you're a real fan of blah blah game, you'd know blah…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/22 02:24 AM
7

Interesting 🤔. I'm absolutely on board with this. And also your community dick comments.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/22 03:20 PM
19

Ohh yes I like this. Notice how every devastating insult for men is something they call women. They're socialized from childhood with "you throw like a girl, what are you a girl?!" as the worst thing they can be. So male gendered slurs will still be better than female gendered slurs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/22 03:18 PM
63

Lol ex was basically some dude on the outside but middle schooler on the I side. I shudder and gag thinking back to why I actually thought he was decent. Good riddens to that past.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/22 08:12 PM
117

This is the way ladies. I completely agree with you. OUR comfort and OUR preference comes first. No man would allow us to police his body according to our preferences, they'd play victim and leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/22 05:43 PM
143

Hell yeah. I've been with bf (seems HV thus far) for just over a year now and while I haven't dated much, it's sooo different from my LVX who would even complain if he saw hair on my arms through Webcam.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/22 05:41 PM
560

Imo, only guys that are overly pornsick have a problem with pubic hair on women. Also, the majority of them don't bother to even manscape. Rude and entitled.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/22 05:36 PM
13

I watched it with my friends, they felt the same way. It's a whole different experience when the media for women/girls is made by women, like is that how men feel all the time? Crazy. Three of us, all women, made (mostly are) tiramisu and binged this ken and Encanto. And sure, Encanto has better songs but we loved the content of turning red a lot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/22 07:21 PM
144

Mine did this too. He even tried to use religious subjugation and blackmail when nothing else worked. Lol so pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/22 07:01 PM
149

LVX did this All. The. Time. He said something that triggered my trauma? I made him make me cry obviously. I'm happy about getting a job? Whatever, I should be focusing on school not stupid part time jobs. I'm sad about something and need support? He's busy, going out with friends, talk later. Or, hey his day was amazing, why am I sad, I should be happy for him! I'm angry at him for doing the same thing he told me not to do to him? No, I'm definitely gaslighting him, he's innocent and what he me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/22 06:58 PM
35

Men and (women (with internalized misogyny)) really can't take it when a movie isn't about men, or with some form of sexual appeal for men or when very NORMAL topics like puberty are talked about without the filter of sexism. I think this was the one and only kids movie that exists where I saw a pack of pads/tampons openly. The men in the movie are very passive background/secondary character roles. A whole movie, for kids, where the women talk, are shown to be creative, capable and intelligent i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/22 06:36 PM
28

"Excuse me ma'am, do you know this person?" "Unfortunately, yes."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/22 04:25 PM
34

Oh this is so I'm important, I have first hand experience. As many of you have said traveling is when people show you who they really are. My dad is a supreme LVM. When we could go on trips his anxiety and frustrations would be taken out on his kids and especially my mom. And every step of the way we would be so embarrassed by how he was treating people at counters or flight attendants. During the vacation itself be would blame his stress about not having a plan and feeling inadequate because he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/22 01:44 PM
109

Imagine never being reprimanded for something objectively bad your whole life. Now imagine you surround yourself with people just like you, so instead of facing consequences, you create a culture of covering for and deflecting each other's nasty actions. He didn't think anything would happen. Stupid, yes I'm sure, but at the same time his behaviour went completely unchecked his whole life. He knew the company logo and license plate was out for display. He didn't care. Because he assumed he would…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/22 12:31 PM
14

Such blatant creeps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/22 12:21 PM
42

It's very cute. It really stuck with me because it celebrates girlhood friendships and navigating family dynamics. All to do with girls and women. It feels like this should have already been a thing. So I hope this gets normalized.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/22 12:20 PM
12

They fanboy him because they want to be him. And anyone can be a half baked space nerd, neither Elon nor his fans are particularly adept at the subject.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/22 12:17 PM
264

I'm so tired of the Elon Musk worship culture. All the money in the world couldn't make that creep HV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/22 08:32 PM
553

The fact that Disney had an all women team of writers for one side movies for the first time in history last year speaks volumes. And then critics had the audacity to say periods in Turning Red is an adult subject and didn't belong in a children's cartoon. News flash guys, Children get periods.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/22 08:30 PM
77

If you hadn't mentioned you were in gradschool I'd have assumed junior high or high school lol. What kind of grownass men say they have a crush? And not even to your face. They're too cowardly to say it to your face and blame you for it by calling you intimidating. Makes my eyes roll all the way
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/22 10:08 AM
56

For real. I always, always make it a point to see women health care professionals whenever possible. I've exclusively gone to women psychologists in the past, even before fds. Not because it was aware of the dangers of male professionals, it's because I the few models of "responsible adult" men I had in my life were absolutely not responsible or dependable in any way. Back then I only ever experienced men downplaying women's struggles. Something innate in me was trained to not go to men for help…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/22 02:35 PM
22

When dudes say that I think about that one series of photos of a troll of a banker guy in a speedo with a younger model-type who is uncomfortable with him touching her but still grits her teeth. I think that wine aged like 10 dollar boxed wine left in the sunlight. ​ Edit: Also I agree with you OP. I think the reason a lot of these men who don't put in the effort to better themselves have all this frustration and anger towards women doing better than them is because they are assumed to be on the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/22 11:15 AM
33

She definitely had the opportunity to treat herself. Granted she has kids and I don't know how much of her income she is able to dedicate to herself. Still, if the kids are with divorced dad and she has the night to herself, she could have done so many things. Even something small like scented candles and a cozy show, a lush bath bomb to relax in the bath, nice wine and good take out. Make it special and feel good about indulging one day. It's scary when some lose all self respect while single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 10:04 PM
73

My experience is mainly south Asian men and white men. In my experience, I get treated subhuman from guys who think I'm from their country based on my looks. White guys have treated me like a person at least. But in OLD, a lot of them said gross racist shit like "caramel princess, chocolate mountains" ugh. So, regardless of ethnicity, find someone who treats you well. If they give you the slightest ick, leave. Green flags only.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 09:35 PM
48

I know you mean that in a funny way but it's so true, that it's pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 01:30 PM
295

The excuse "how would he know if you don't teach him?" Is getting seriously fucking old. Just. No accountability with these guys and they cover for each other. Baboons.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 12:40 PM
63

Wow this resonates. That's an incredibly accurate description.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 05:24 AM
37

Nope. Made that mistake once, never again. I think it's a dangerous mindset women can get into, especially women who have had negative or abusive men in their life growing up. Wanting a soulmate becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and you end up compromising more and more for "the one" until you wake up and realize you were never truly happy in that relationship. The media for sure romanticizes it. It's the weird remnants from the romantic period in literature. The trope often being you don't mar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 01:26 PM
106

You just killed me with that 😂.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 05:35 AM
77

Internalized misogyny is both pathetic and dangerous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 02:18 PM
121

Is this the supreme (girl)boss pickme you have to face after defeating all the other pickmes?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 02:15 PM
162

Boo hoo! I'm my mommy's special boy so I believe minor inconveniences are justifiable reasons to be cruel to my wife, who literally replaced my mommy as my caretaker. Not only did I verbally and emotionally abuse her out of the blue, I'm not even introspective enough to understand it's not an equal relationship like I say, because she clearly makes my life very comfortable even when she is hurt emotionally. I also refuse to take responsibility and actually apologize or put in any emotional effor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 05:01 PM
48

I just want to point out the guy didn't even have any comebacks because he knows she's right 😂.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 11:37 PM
81

Yes, I think so too. Asking for what people think is her way of validating the terrible gut feeling. It was so hard to read this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 11:18 PM
13

Exactly. I think ideas like this are never portrayed in media or highlighted for women to see as a legitimate option. Women without a man are expected to raise the kids on her own and single motherhood is glorified as the ultimate show of self-sacrificing love. It doesn't have to be that way!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 04:08 PM
11

I relate to this so personally. Let's be fadfem friends. For me so many women have ended friendships with me because I would be upfront and honest about their behaviour when men are involved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 04:04 PM
183

Oh I really feel this. FDS opened my eyes and is the one thing that saved me from making the worst decision I could have by sticking with my abusive lvmx. It's astounding how many people around us have pickme behavior and "not all men" rhetoric. You can't see it until you estrange yourself from it. The principals here might be difficult at first but it is one of the only resources that sincerely exists to benefit women, no bias or compromise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 05:57 PM
11

It really is. I highly doubt she even read the holy book in her language to REALLY understand it. It very much reads like an incels ideal world. The priests who are recognized are all men of course and they severely discourage women from having critical thought. Because of those misogynistic holy men, these lvms feel justified in horrific domistic abuse and entitled to women. I will bet anything this asshole here thinks he absolutely deserves the Lamborghini and still has the audacity to think p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 12:44 PM
25

No offense, but as someone who was raised Muslim, this doesn't surprise me. Which is incredibly sad and speaks volumes about ideologies and cultures that take internalized patriarchy to another level. All I can say is, I hope she knows for sure this guy is HV. It's excessive nonetheless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 12:26 PM
15

You did your best and I hope you and your kids are at a better point in life now. My mother also has the martyr mentality. The thing is, if the man is an awful person at the end of the day, kids are gonna know, no matter how hard the mom tries to protect them from it. My mom would constantly say "he's still your father" and expected us to give him that respect. I think he realizes now his kids have contempt for him. And no one can change that because he never changed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 09:54 PM
181

My mom did this with us because our father is abusive. We grew up tip-toeing around a narc manchild's feelings, sacrificing our happiness because if we didn't, he would take it out on our mom. I get why she felt she had to police us around him, but the damage is now twofold. If she had the courage to leave him when we were young, I'm convinced life would have been better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 04:55 PM
100

😂 I can't. If only I could count the number of guys who collect useless overpriced junk because iNvEsTmEnt. "You never know I could make a fortune with the rare Funko pops", "if I had kept my Charizard Pokemon card I had as a kid I would be so fuckin riiich", "hey you know about nfts? Best investment opportunity, your loss if you don't invest now". Edit: " Hur dur muh yeezes"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/22 11:37 PM
38

The thing about this specific brand of abuse: he doesn't want her back. He wants to threaten and belittle her very existence to show her he can. He will play the victim and Garber sympathy and gaslisght her, show her he is "right" because others are sympathetic to him. He doesn't want her back. He just wants to make her life difficult, that is exerting control over her. And I suspect that's what all his relationships are about. Control and power. He is power tripping.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 07:12 AM
43

I can't unhear the "WhAt wOuLd wE dO WiThOut MEN".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 07:08 AM
52

He is officially an open redpill fear mongerer. Like that's his job now. He's been disgraced and all the degrees and education he's gotten so far has been moot because he enjoys being a messaih to incels. He recently outright just stayed in an interview that LOSER MEN NEED EQUALITY OF OUTCOME IN SEXUAL AND ROMANTIC PARTNERS, I. E. THIS ASSHAT LITERALLY WANTS STATE MANDATED WIVES FOR MEN WHO ARE TOO LAZY, UGLY OR OTHERWISE INCOMPETENT TO EARN THEIR OWN. To reiterate. This man spouts jargon about …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 07:01 AM
4

That was the intention of this post. Communities with very hateful ideology gain strength with numbers. These echo chambers of dudes harping on about how they are victims of women has very real dangerous and far reaching outcomes. Hopefully more and more of us can be aware of the nature of these groups and men who lurk can at least see that they're being grifted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 08:13 PM
28

Oh 100%.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 04:22 AM
25

This yes! You need more upvotes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 04:11 AM
48

I can confirm. They will never forgive him. Redemption in their eyes is impossible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 03:46 AM
289

The real victim who may never recover. Love that the woman and 4 daughters have supportive smart relatives and they cut him off. The 25 year old he flashed his in-laws wealth to also moved on and gave herself the top priority in her life. He literally didn't wear a condom then got mad she had a kid. Left out so much context too. Why did they keep the baby? The one this man hurt and betrayed the most is this new baby ultimately. And I suspect he will continue to take out his resentment on this ki…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 03:44 AM
2

Real talk. I'm interpreting your strategy as one NEEDED for your safety and maintaining boundaries. But so many rp dudes, even regular people, will interpret it as you being manipulative. So to anyone reading: use this strat if you like. It doesn't make you less than. These guys will rage and call it manipulative doesn't mean it is. Of course they think it's manipulative. It just means that their underhanded methods to push your boundaries aren't working and you kept yourself safe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 09:26 PM
2

Thanks, I didn't know anything about them till recently but I'm glad they're literal jokes to women and men alike.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 09:20 PM
10

Just adding to this: use incognito and other filters. You do not want your regular algorithm polluted with filth on the daily.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 09:18 PM
7

This is what I was trying to get at. You described it much better than I could, thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 09:14 PM
3

Yup. Friend of mine showed me and we're both fds.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 09:12 PM
434

Trying to keep the door open lol such desperation😂. Negging all the women who read that then saying he does "the heavy lifting".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 12:07 AM
3

It feels patriarchal but despite that my feelings about this are neutral. I think it should boil down to if changing your name will affect your life in adverse or even mildly annoying ways. So, I would say women working in fields where your name is attached to what you do, for example publishing in academia, it's probably best to keep your name consistent and traceable back to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 03:51 AM
10

If it's not a yes, then it's always a no. There is no maybe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 10:16 PM
5

Wasn't she also like 12 or 13 ? 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 09:46 PM
9

Even their compliments are gross! Legit opener I got as a brown woman: "You are so beautiful. A caramel goddess." 🤮🤮🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 09:44 PM
38

Wtf, this was televised? Has the bar just disappeared?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 08:26 PM
12

That part I personally relate to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 08:25 PM
14

My biggest take away from this is that we should ALWAYS have financial independence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 08:20 PM
76

I'm howling 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 07:44 PM
35

His lest concerning fetish
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 07:43 PM
44

Yes! Say it louder for the people in the back!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 02:26 PM
61

This is one I just don't fathom. Wouldn't a lazy dudebro love it if you basically did his job for him? Is it possible to have egos so big that you will (1)not do the work (2) get mad if your work gets done for you (3) be insecure about that. Pick a lane!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 02:48 AM
17

THAT IS HILARIOUS OMG
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 08:23 PM
4

So true and eloquently put. I used to try so hard to communicate but the truth is you can't communicate with a manipulator who twists your words to gaslight you. I didn't want to stonewall because NVX hated that and blamed me for not communicating properly, ergo, he wins the "argument". But I now know that you have to cut off the attention supply for narcissists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 08:06 PM
9

This is fully accurate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 08:02 PM
10

Agreed 100%. I'm not very tech savvy, something I need to level up at. Cut to my birthday this year, narcissist NVX emails me, because he's blocked everywhere else, and I promptly went "nope", looked up how to block emails and shut that shit down. I cut this dude off in 2019 but he dragged it on with so much manipulation, gaslighting, drama, blackmail and threats! The audacity of him still trying to reach out after I went no contact, after years and years of abuse, it just proves further he thin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 07:59 PM
1

I told him this very simple thing. The not all men argument doesn't help anyone but holding those responsible for the negative experiences accountable, at least promising to do so and hold yourself to a higher standard is helpful. His response was that this isn't fair and he wants equality just like women (generalized without saying generalize imo). I then told him equality is the word used but the right solution is equity until there can be equality. But if course, I was such a mean woman ignor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 12:54 PM
25

The other day a guy tried to justify why he's right in calling a woman (apparently his friend?) a sexist/misandrist. She apparently generalized and said something like all men are bad. And that hurt his feelings. And most people he went to rant to said okay, she generalized which isn't great always but you're taking it too personally, she didn't say you were bad. And I said pretty much the same thing except explained that she may have had bad experiences in the past, so him becoming defensive wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 02:46 AM
14

Perfectly describes the pos my father is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 02:16 AM
106

Absolutely appalling. Okay, I don't see these brodudes tracking down perps who attack woc or even actively advocating for us any other time of the year. Using that argument in a situation like this cheapens the difficult experiences of woc in safely navigating the world. Yet again used as a prop for some man's argument so he feels less guilty about not having empathy. These dudes are literally so disgusting they will put down a dead white woman by using dead women with different skin tones. Unbe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 03:09 PM
12

Love this statement! Hope you don't mind me repeating it 😊.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 03:44 AM
101

Lol it looks like some poorly conceived lvm propaganda to keep pickmes as pickmes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 10:31 PM
17

Yeah, funny how things get done when enough men whine about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 01:45 AM
3

Absolutely! We will always be put down for the same things men openly do without harassment. All men benefit from perverts and abusers, so even our "allies" will hesitate to call them out since the status quo benefits them too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 05:58 PM
31

You sound like an extremely put-together individual and I doubt your tattoos are less than well thought out and artistic. Don't disparage your body and your art because of these perverted asshats. I'm really sorry about what you're going through still. These losers will harass any woman anytime for any number of reasons. When I was younger I had extremely long hair that I usually kept it tied up. When I started to feel more comfortable with my femininity and looks I would occasionally let it dow…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 04:13 AM
1

That's an excellent point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 08:40 PM
35

This is more concerning then just pickme behavior. OP mentioned somewhere she's a doctor and Stanford grad, and not to say this woman can't be an intelligent and academic oriented person, she probably is for all I know. What's extremely concerning here is the trauma she has. Even the most successful person can have mental health crises and to be perfectly honest, not processing that in a healthy way always leads to poorly adjusted adults like this. I'm only speculating and I could be wrong. It s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 05:20 PM
6

Just wanted to add that all the Adam Sandler type romcom bs perpetuated the manchild is acceptable and will always get his way without changing troupe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 03:41 PM
17

Listen to this OP. You know how they say "you're only as good as the five people you associate with the most" ? Trust me, might not seem that important now but if you want to level up in a short time, this is the way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 04:05 PM
5

That's incredibly tough! Sending you strength and love💜! I don't know if it means much coming from an internet stranger, but you are doing so well for them. It's difficult for them to process too, being young and all doesn't help. It will get better. Rest assured, it sounds like you are providing every support and being the best parent you can be. You're a wonderful person. Take it from someone who wishes their mom had made the same decisions for herself and for her kids as you have, hard as the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 12:01 AM
6

Kids are always more aware then even they know they are. Your youngest will come to see things for what they are soon enough. Like you said, LVMs are pathetic and predictable, keeping up a nice act is exhausting, he and his wife will at the very least crack here and there and their real faces will show through. Sending you strength till then 💜. Shout out to all the resilient and tough moms like you out there. All the decisions you have made are correct and valid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 11:49 PM
6

Thank you so much for sharing. I can't imagine it's been easy for you or your kids because things like this never are but you're so strong for learning not to let his ongoing Bs get to you. As as daughter of a very similar LVM and upon further reading your replies on this thread, I can tell you based on the similarities your situation has to my life; let the kids decide for themselves what they think of this guy. You're modeling very positive behavior for them, I highly doubt this guy can do the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 11:39 PM
27

There's just something extra sinister about guys who only show HV traits or even just basic decency infront of others just never alone with you. There is no justifiable reason for doing this. The level of control they want to have over you- like there is no purpose of doing this other than to save face and make sure no one believes you when you talk about the abuse and/or lack of decency behind closed doors. Very often no one believes you when this happens too. Victims are hesitant to come out f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 11:29 PM
48

LVMs blame everything on women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 01:52 PM
16

Same op. They take advantage of our kindness and patience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 03:33 PM
9

Exactly this. We really need to stop trying with asshats.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 03:33 PM
15

Holy shit, it's like all these guys are clones. You just wrote verbatim what my LVX narc would say.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 03:27 PM
25

So much this. I wish I had found FDS many years ago. Thanks to this sub my eyes were opened, my deepest thoughts and feelings were validated and I regained control of my life again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 03:23 PM
21

I can't even begin to talk about my LVX and his constant gaslighting over text. Anything I said was misconstrued and semantics mattered more than what actually happened. He would pick apart anything I said but when I did the same to him I'm suddenly an abuser and gaslighting him with semantics. God my past pickme self was way too patient, kind and loving towards someone who doesn't even deserve a crumb of those things while neglecting myself. I'm still facing the consequences and trying to rebui…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 03:18 PM
24

Geeze that's so much there. Sending you hugs and strength sis. I feel like it's better to have no parent than a parent who acts only in their Ego's interest. Note: ladies, watch out for men who are like this too. My dad is and my mom pickme'd us into a terrible life with him. If you're having kids, make sure their dad (in addition to everything else) wants kids and respects them too. Better to walk out on them with your kids when they show their true colours than stay and hope it gets better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 12:51 PM
36

I would happily contribute to writing an FDS book! Like an instruction manual for young women, which would also include these horror stories and success stories from our sub. Success to say, not just in finding a partner but developing the skills, boundaries and self-worth that FDS guides.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 03:42 AM
53

Just his mind? The toxicity levels radiating from these guys seem so high that I would not be surprised (but surely disgusted) if all his "bros" took pics of her blown up nudes. Also, he's calling pictures of HER his PROPERTY. She's satisfied he calls her beautiful but fails to see the blatant objectification and gaslighting. He's got 11 years more practice at controling women than she has controling anyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 03:22 AM
35

The only people they are fooling are other men who think the same way they do, not having a clue about how actual women are 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 03:11 PM
23

The most depraved and pathetic go for the weakest and most vulnerable. Animal abuse has been on rise lately, I can't help but feel there's a correlation between that and the rising number of LVMs, from teenagers to adult men. Women are increasingly independent and educated, they can't control us and we don't have to cater to their egos anymore for basic survival. So they take out this sudden frustration, a combination of an identity crisis (masculinity and male roles = women dependant) and entit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 05:12 AM
23

Can tell you first-hand, leaving is the most dangerous time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 04:58 AM
40

DING DING DING
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 03:41 AM
2

Thank you. We get better by supporting each other.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 03:22 AM
40

My mom's father died suddenly when I was very young. I don't remember him but my mom speaks dearly of him so I understand he was important to her. My father is a poc lvm. He has abused and neglected my mom his whole life. One of the many verbal attacks he spits at her is demeaning her dead father or reminding her that she, a fatherless woman, has no value and no where to go, so she should be greatful he doesn't turn her and her daughter's out to the street. Note, this is my biological dad. Despi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 02:07 AM
22

Projecting his insecurities and flaws onto her. To deflect any responsibility he has of being a decent human being. Disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 02:01 AM
12

I was thinking that exact same thing. It's so pitiful and it sounds like she really puts up with a lot on the daily.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 02:00 AM
8

Exactly this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 01:58 AM
14

God I hate how common this is. I can't fathom how some people just raise mommy dependant asshats like this and are proud of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 01:57 AM
10

We need to start eating bananas like corn on the cob.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 07:09 AM
8

He's 8 years older than her.... The scales of immaturity here are insane.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 12:40 PM
20

Queen this lol almost snorted my drink 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 02:45 AM
7

I second this 100%. The pseudo-philosophers are just a nightmare. Bonus if they're "spiritually buddhist". Can't stop smelling their own farts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 02:10 AM
3

I absolutely agree with you on how doing that is a survival mechanism sometimes. I'm happy you're out and I hope you're living life exactly the way that makes you happy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 06:50 PM
4

Just imagine if all the girls banded together and said "no" to everyone who asked them and all of them just didn't go to prom. That's how you fight stupid systems like this. Unfortunately, there's always going to be some girls who will be pickmes and fail to understand the gravity of their situation. The solution doesn't work without everyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 06:46 PM
18

The devil doesn't need an advocate but they need reasons to be assholes openly ¯_(ツ)_/¯.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 05:19 PM
2

We typically let our guard down around gay men because we can talk to each other like people rather than worry about if he just sees you as a fuckable object and if he's dangerous if you don't acquiesce.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 06:45 AM
1

Thank you for the advice. I'm not familiar with these or what a power cleans is but I'll look into it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 06:39 AM
2

Thank you! Resources help :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 06:37 AM
6

Wow okay this is very insightful, I'm grateful you took the time to write this out! I like yoga, I've been doing it for a fair bit of time on and off. Maybe I'll do yoga and lifting in that case. Cardio took the wind out of me and I never achieved the runners high people keep talking about. Being asthmatic makes it tough and unpleasant. Every time I started I felt so defeated and deterred. You seem to know what you're doing, so I'm happy you saw my comment and decided to share.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 03:02 AM
2

Unfortunately, that's not an option right now but that's honestly what I feel like I need, just someone to cater the program for me, show me how it's done and I can do it from there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 02:46 AM
2

Thank you for recommending things so specifically! I am starting from scratch and I think I have a pipe or curtain rod I can use to practice. I'm not worried about my weight or look, I just want to be strong and not feel geriatric when I hit my 40s. I also don't feel the need to compete. I'm wondering if this is all I should do ? Would you consider power lifting to be a full body workout?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 02:44 AM
5

This has been something I've wanted to do for years and I'm in a position now that I am able to start. I've been interested in powerlifting but I also want to know how to use my strength. And I have no idea where to start. I've made several attempts to "just show up and start" but because of the lack of direction and maybe lack of discipline I've not been able to stick with it. Would you have any specific advice for me?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 01:16 AM
5

Nope. Nope. Nope. Just nope on so many levels.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 10:36 AM
121

That's what's so dangerous. "I want you to be a sex object, I will literally throw money at you and I will hate you at the same time because I'm throwing my money at you, wasting my life". It's an endless cycle of blaming women when they can't control themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 12:42 PM
25

Just consider that it's likely rude and when you do this it makes the person left behind feel bad. It's just considerate to match pace with the person struggling to keep up when you're walking with someone or in a group.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 12:32 PM
51

You sound just like me sis. Listen, someone who cares about you will never make you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around them. From one woman to another, this comment and this post at large should validate you. Smetimes we don't even realize the inappropriate behavior we suffer through until someone points it out. Thank you for sharing and coming to this conclusion, because you'll be better for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 12:09 PM
42

It's almost sadistic. When they see us struggling and want to punish us instead of showing a modicum of consideration.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 12:02 PM
12

This is so so important.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 11:57 AM
97

Holy fuck, you just described my dad and my ex to the very last detail. God I wish I found this sub many years ago. Subconsciously you're always asking yourself if you're not being reasonable enough or if they are the ones being unreasonable. This is why patriarchy pit women against each other, if we could speak to each other on a scale like FDS all the time, none of their bullshit would fly because our subconscious thoughts would be validated. Edits: I cannot spell sometimes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 11:53 AM
5

You just summed it up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 11:48 AM
42

Absolutely the correct thing to do. If he cares more about his pride than your well-being in situations like this, he is the problem. If guys walk faster than you, don't even try to match pace or tell them what they're doing is detrimental to you. If he was so empathetic or even had basic etiquette, he would match pace with you, end of story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 11:45 AM
12

This really really hits home. I've often considered this and I've gone on more than a few dates where the guy does this and I now know better than to keep dating them if they do. My ex did this and I brushed it off for years. Then he ended up showing how much of a narcissistic LVM he was by trying to blackmail me to stay in the relationship when I finally had enough. My dad did this too. Every family vacation, as far back as I can recall. My mom has my sister and I in toe, struggling to walk on …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 11:37 AM
27

Literal leveling up! So happy for her :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 01:04 PM
23

Congratulations! Hope you have a happy healthy little one. I think you've got the right attitude. And I hope your husband will break the mould and be a better than good enough dad. You can control what you do and how you react to your husband but I hate that there's always tons of people, family, friends, strangers, coworkers, agghh, always reinforcing the gender-roles. I've seen men, otherwise good men, start to become bitter and entitled because they don't want to partake in childcare. It feel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 11:29 PM
13

Ughh, our expectations of guys have been set so low by them world wide. Its stories like this that reinforce my resolution to hold all the men in my life to the highest standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 06:05 PM
10

Oh he sounds HV ! I wish you happiness and success. My new one does that when I over apologize (I'm working on it, you queens give me strength). He does most things on his own but accepts the praise so I'm really trying to cut back so he doesn't get used to it and get entitled.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 05:53 PM
12

More power to you sis. You sound like an absolute queen and I have much to learn from you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 05:49 PM
11

If I could upvote your comment several times I would.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 05:46 PM
126

This is one of the biggest reasons I'm afraid of having kids. The absolute mental anguish I would feel if I found out the guy is a terrible father. Even an uninterested father is bad.. like these kids are half yours and you're going to act like they're not your problem ? Just fuck that, I don't ever want that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 05:41 PM
27

My last relationship tore down my self-esteem so much that I caught myself praising my current (very new)bf for the very bare minimum. My gosh that is not okay, that's part of the problem, were primed to feel small and some men become so entitled. After leaving the abusive one I've been recovering my confidence and self-worth so I'm working on not being overly thankful when I'm shown the slightest bit of human decency. I'd like to think I'm an intelligent educated woman but still, just crazy how…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 05:33 PM
5

Personal in-home entertaining honestly rubs me as him on a power trip. Just expects everything comes easy because he is somehow deserving by having a dick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 04:36 PM
6

I don't consider myself a traditional person at all and I grew up in a family where that word was thrown around as socially acceptable misogyny. Hearing your story made me smile. It honestly sounds like a dream that men like your father even exist. That is well balanced and fair in all regards. And for him to be so humble and not be entitled, I wish that kind of humility was common. Thanks for sharing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 04:33 PM
5

THIS. The internal misogyny runs so deep here it's so sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 04:27 PM
8

Internalized misogyny.... It's heartbreaking
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 04:20 PM
3

Bring her over to this sub! I don't care what anyone says, traditional is just a socially acceptable way to say misogynist. God the extent to which I patriarchy is still internalized is really disheartening. I hope she realizes her true value and changes her circumstances. I also hope no kids are involved here, that would just be another dimension of traumatic for her and the kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 04:19 PM
6

SIS YES. This is one of the main ways to reject patriarchy, women helping and supporting each other in more ways than just the stereotypes and what's "expected" of us. Let's keep this up! You're wonderful for being a good example OP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 05:24 PM
1

Good riddens!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 02:03 AM
65

Say it louder for the pickmes in the back
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 01:25 AM
36

Honestly, even if he is super attractive he doesn't get a pass for being a terrible human.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 01:25 AM
11

I gaged in my mouth a bit. That is horrendous. My condolences for that experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 08:56 PM
17

Ho-ly shit. Pardon the extreme response but do you mind sharing some details about that so we know what to steer clear of?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 08:55 PM
10

When they say "give the nice guys a chance", I hear, "men are entitled to not take care of themselves, not put effort into their looks and still feel like they are some kind of gift full of personality".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 08:53 PM
7

Two words: hell yes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 05:25 AM
6

Your comment deserves more upvotes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 05:22 AM
5

You just described my ex. Ughh I shudder. I'm glad I left his LVM ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 05:15 AM
44

THIS. I've lived in two very different cultures, grew up in one and moved to the other as an adult. This is exactly what I've experienced. My ex was such a pos and I'm happy I left his LVM ass. He was from the same place I grew up in. He moved to a place with more ethnic diversity and would constantly tell me about all the "asian" and "white" "girls" would hit on him and I should be grateful that I'm so fortunate he's so loyal to me. Just one of the many ways he used to manipulate and abuse me. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 04:56 AM
7

Wow that is an excellent point. Going to be more weary of this from now on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 01:31 AM
3

Eugh. My condolences. You're absolutely right though. I learned that so much later in life but better late than never.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 01:31 AM
7

Oh dear... Physically cringed. The "not like other girls" bullshit needs to stop. I really hoped it would die with my generation but it's disgustingly prevalent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 05:12 PM
42

As a woman of south east asian decent, Yas queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 05:08 PM
173

My tinder used to be really nerdy but also showed off my achievements and stability. I was getting so many emotionally unstable guys matching with me and challenging me about my video game or philosophy knowledge and didn't understand how they were being both condescending and childish by that. My friends told me to tone my tinder down and not mention the nerdy stuff and put one swimsuit picture up. So I pulled most of my personality off tinder, and it was super generic. Suddenly less manchildre…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 04:50 PM
19

Hello officer. Yes, I'm in this post and I don't like it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 07:49 PM
1

I'm now to this sub and I love it here. What does LVM mean?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 03:46 PM
17

Thanks to this sub for bringing me down to earth about this s little bit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 03:04 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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