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View 4 posts and 126 comments by Snowlamp on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
1495

Snowlamp/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 07:38 PM
102

QUEEN SUPREMESnowlamp/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 10:06 PM
33

DISCUSSIONSnowlamp/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 10:09 PM
19

FDS MOVIES & TVSnowlamp/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 09:46 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
22

I do the same thing! People are so quick to complain or moan, so I try to make a point of saying the nice things that pop in my head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 06:13 AM
2

I agree. It's dreadful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 09:54 PM
2

It even gets them in to number 10 Downing Street.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 07:41 AM
6

Probably from 'butter face' . Which means great body but ugly face, 'but her face'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 07:21 AM
23

Same. I was tiny, lifting everyday, no carbs, fit as. He couldn't look down and see his own penis because of his belly... and he told me I was too unattractive and fat to go out in public with. I was exactly the girl in the OP with him. Four years ago I decided to not put up with men like that anymore, and I've not been involved with a man since! Because I have stood my ground, I want to date properly, not be a little placeholder used for sex in secret and told I'm not good enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 09:38 PM
48

Sadly I have, one of his many many red flags! Refused to even see me if I had my period. Didn't want me near him at all. A few times I had to get medication to postpone it to fit around his birthday or Christmas. Now they have started being far more real in period product adverts here, I always laugh to myself that he'd be freaking out at it. The man who loves war films, cannot handle even the thought of a period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 08:57 AM
29

I had one who dictated my appearance, from hair colour down to where I should buy the high heels he expected me to wear. Over a period of a few years I only saw him in clothes that were not his retail job branded outfit 5 times. One of those times was Christmas Day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 05:35 AM
6

Ah yes, I've only been with four men, and the first one is the only good looking one, the only one who treated me properly... we only split because we went to different universities. The most overweight man, was the worst, constantly going on about how I should look, on about beautiful famous women all the time. Telling me how to dress, in expensive clothes and shoes, yet I only ever saw him in his retail job branded polo shirt or lounge shorts. I was tiny and very fit and healthy, he was huge, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 10:10 AM
10

I'm near London, that is where I work and socialise.. and yep. Just the concept of going for a drink appears to be just too much effort, cannot tell you the number of times a man has told me he wants sex with me at Liverpool St Station when I'm waiting for my train! Not a date, not go for a drink, they just tell me they want to sleep with me. It's been years since I've gone on a date or even near a man. It's ridiculous that having a no dating no sex rule leads to you weeding out every single man…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 09:05 AM
3

Where did you find that picture of my sort of ex? Sort of because apparently I was too fat and unattractive to date in public. I lift, keto, about 19% body fat, UK size 6 (so tiny)... he couldn't see his dick if he looked down. Too much belly in the way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 09:35 AM
20

I had an FWB for a couple of years or so, I was not aware until a year in I was an FWB (I'd not dated since my teens, I didn't know DTR was a thing, very naive). Especially odd when you spend Christmases together! He refused to date me officially, no dates in public, always just at his house. Didn't think I was attractive enough for that, despite the fact he was clinically obese and I had athletic body fat levels, I love to lift. He said I was too happy to date. He pursued me for 3 years for tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 07:34 AM
3

5 sons in fact!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 08:11 AM
28

Tell me about it, wasted a few years in one of those things! I never want to be in that situation again, having this rule now does mean I've not been near a man in over three years, but I'm not lowering my bar that low again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 09:45 PM
45

I did ask my longterm FWB (lasted a few years, I didn't know I was an FWB until a year in) why he wouldn't properly date me. He said I was too happy and not mysterious enough! This really confused me for a long time. I now think what he meant was that I was a pickmeisha! I put up with so much and never complained, always smiled, I was the 'cool girl'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 10:25 AM
43

I weirdly had the opposite, natural blonde and I was negged into going brunette. He said I looked like a bimbo. He wouldn't go out in public with me anyway so I don't know why it mattered to him. I am a member of Mensa and have my own business, he is a shop assistant. To be fair though, putting up with him did make me look stupid, not my hair colour!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 10:59 AM
1

Before even reading it the fact he's writing to The S*n is bad enough!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 04:19 PM
4

Someone is trying to give Tim Westwood a run for his money I see!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 07:10 PM
17

Same here. The thing that got me was I am superfit, I have a personal trainer, lifting weights, keto... I'm a UK size 6 most of the time. This is tiny, but he'd refuse to be seen with me in public, told me what to wear, what hair colour to have... he didn't think I was attractive enough for him. He was balding (and was not yet 30), so overweight he couldn't see his own dick when he looked down. I have abs but was apparently too fat for him. It's taken a fair bit of therapy to feel ok about how I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 07:55 PM
8

Just spotted this on twitter that fits in perfectly here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 05:09 PM
13

I had never heard of him until this thread, and I already do not like him. I certainly know who Kristen is!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 05:00 PM
11

I could've written every single word of this myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 11:40 AM
112

I'll be paying my mortgage off in full this summer. As far as I know the ex who told me I was not good enough for him for years is still working in a shop, still cannot afford a car and is still living in a shared house.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 11:09 AM
84

I know, not comparable at all... however they are related. If Red Pill, MGTOW, PUA type shit didn't exist there would be far less need for us women to help each other out here, help each other not fall for the manipulative and abusive techniques they are taught to use. This sub is a big heads up to all the other women. So we learn not to fall for the game, the game where women are always the losers. So of course they hate us, we are thwarting their plans! If only they knew all they had to do was…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 05:56 PM
10

Same, but cat and laptop. I'm not sure I can give up falling asleep watching my favourite calming documentaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 05:25 PM
14

These is mainly how my past relationships have looked. One ex was kind of similar looking to Jonah Hill before the weight-loss, lived on takeaways. Where as I was a UK size 6 (a US 2), lifting and pilates everyday, about 17-19% body fat and keto. I was tiny. But I was apparently still too fat for him, he would never take me out in public because I did not meet his high standards of attractiveness! Constantly went on about gorgeous famous women I should try and look like. What a fuckwit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 04:02 PM
2

Exactly! Probably why those few men I have been with, who knew me, changed and started negging and controlling me once they knew I had fallen for them. The only thing in my life I fail at is my love life, work and my social life are fantastic. I just keep attracting LVMs! But I have learnt, I've not been near a man in years now, I just haven't come across anyone lacking in red flags yet. I can see them now and I'm never going there again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 08:13 PM
11

I am told I am pretty often, and I am super healthy and fit, but men very rarely want to date me, they just want to have sex with me. I'll be asked for sex weekly, but asked on a date every few years or so. So in the past I have only gone out with the very few men who made the effort to get to know me first, before they let on they want to sleep with me. Because they were friends for years first when they did change and start treating me badly I assumed I had done something wrong and put up with…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 04:33 PM
3

He is such an LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 12:27 PM
2

Sorry, that was me really, it's not that obvious unless you are in the UK!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 09:42 AM
3

She's the prime minister's girlfriend! So it's more of a rant really!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 09:40 AM
4

I had to go check the poster because I genuinely thought for a moment it might be a 'not an ex because I was never a real girlfriend'. Absolutely refused to be in my presence at that time of the month. For Christmas I'd have to take medication to postpone it so I could spend Christmas Day with him, which is normal for a "not a girlfriend".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 09:28 AM
4

This is a message to Carrie Symonds, I hope you are on reddit, you need to join this sub.I want to be happy for you expecting your first baby, but that man is an abomination. He left his wife and mother of some of his children (he won't admit to how many he has) to cope with having cancer to be with you. He is destroying the lives of many people. An entire country. Your neighbours called the police when you argued. Please realise you are better than that LVM, yes he is prime minister but you can…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 08:12 PM
6

I didn't know I was an FWB for a good year or so, then I spent the next couple of years trying to prove my worth. Thinking stupid things like "oh well his exes cheated on him... if I show him how loyal I am he'll be my proper boyfriend". What bollocks! It is a completely futile way to waste your precious time and energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 12:58 PM
11

I've been told by an LVM it's my fault for having feelings. I bet at some point in his life he has blamed gravity for something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 12:27 PM
32

Yeah I fell for that one. When I heard of it I thought... oh, I thought the finding someone attractive once you know them and have made a connection was normal... apparently it's not. So then started thinking, oh, apparently people usually want to have sex based on first impressions which has never happened ever in my entire life. I must be demisexual. Thankfully now I am back to thinking my way is perfectly normal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 07:28 PM
4

Ah now I'm thinking of some old sketch shows! This pickmeisha one comes to mind from Man Stroke Woman! And this one from The Fast Show which is sadly all too true to life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 06:14 PM
18

When did you meet my ex? I say ex, as we were "not in a relationship but exclusive" for years I'm not technically according to him allowed to call him that. His way of talking would completely change when with the boys. He mainly hid me from public but as he shared a house with them I was accidentally sometimes in their presence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 10:27 AM
9

Well now. I see a lot of great replies here about how to educate yourself. There is some great reading out there that is essential, Lundy, Baggage Reclaim, Esther Perel.. even going back to the basics of Bowlby and attachment theory... But knowing this does not make you immune. My goodness I even ended up reading Aurelius and Fromm when I was under the cosh of the worst LVM I've known. To try and make sense. Feelings are faster than logic. Then you can end up falling for manipulative LVMs but al…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 09:22 PM
4

Past me is very seen right now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 09:32 AM
3

Ha that is funny! Here you can change it by just writing it out with a couple of mates as witnesses. To be official (as in on your passport) you pay £36. Pull strings, and keep us updated. I need a laugh, and you do even more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 02:01 AM
2

I don't know how it works where you are but in the UK it's really quite easy to change your name. It could be sorted tomorrow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 11:44 PM
6

He needs to officially change his name to shithead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 10:53 PM
16

Well just look at the UK Prime Minister... If you google "how many children does Boris Johnson have".. the answer is very telling. The racist uncaring piece of shit who currently lives in number 10 with his girlfriend, who he has abused enough neighbours called the police, while his wife and mother of some of his children battles cancer. No wonder Trump likes him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 10:32 PM
16

Ruining music is just unforgivable. I'm so sorry, I hope one day that song is yours again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 10:13 PM
1

The remake of High Fidelity made me go listen to some more Ann Peebles. This is perfect, and it sounds gorgeous too. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwoKq6HPwkE You think you've got it all set up, You think you've got the perfect plan To charm every girl you see And play with everyone that you can But I've got news for you, I hope it won't hit you too hard One of these days while you're at play I'm gonna catch you off guard I'm gonna tear your playhouse down, pretty soon I'm gonna tear your play…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 10:05 PM
58

Also do not listen to a new album by your favourite band whilst involved (until it's serious and you know you have an HVM). Otherwise a whole record will be ruined by the associated memories if things go awry. Very hard to undo that link between music and emotions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 06:29 PM
12

It's the Daily Mail, a despicable rag, of course they'd word it so offensively. Family annihilators are not loving.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 06:14 PM
38

So many times I am asked, "in jest" apparently, what is wrong with me if I am out dining alone. It's amazing how many are shocked at a woman going to anything alone, a gig, a festival, holidays.. What am I supposed to do? Stay home watching Hallmark movies?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 06:08 PM
3

You can't polish a turd!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 11:59 AM
16

Yep that list works for me too. I would also add a political element. No Trump/Tory/Brexit voters ... although it is a tricky one to navigate. I've seen a few men (and personally experienced one) who use that "nice feminist leftie guy" act to make you think you will be safe from shitty behaviour from them. I also am wary of an impressionistic style of messaging. You know, dramatic but lacking in detail and vague, usually quite self centred with lots of !!!! AND CAPITAL LETTERS OMG OK HUN. Often …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 06:40 PM
13

Oh brings back pickmeisha memories of when I dyed my naturally blonde hair dark for an LVM. Not permanent but when I eventually went back to blonde it took 8 hours of expensive work in the hairdressers. He had worn me down, the constant comment on the women he wanted (obviously celebrities he had no chance with), the negging that blonde made me look like a bimbo... He would actually like it when I had been in the rain because my hair looked darker. When I eventually did it he just said "better".…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 06:24 PM
22

Just tell me how not to waste my life getting fucked by some loser who never deserved me in the first place. YES! I was so glad when I found this place, this was exactly what I was looking for. A few years ago, when the last undeserving man fucked me over and wasted my time, I said that's it... I am not going near any man until I figure this out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 07:39 AM
7

Wow. A big massive nope, either he is using the worst line ever or he genuinely believes this and is probably a Flat Earther too. I wonder if the big red flag in his dick is why he cannot wear condoms.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 09:34 PM
12

It's funny how guys want anal but period blood is iCkY. Oh yes, I have thought this so many times. An ex refused to even see me, at all, whatsoever during my period. For special occasions like Christmas I'd have to take norethisterone to delay it. I once came on early whilst with him and he acted like he was having a panic attack and I had to go home! But he was so all about the anal. And violent films, and war stuff, so it cannot have been a blood thing.... maybe a realising I'm a human thing a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 04:35 PM
8

I think we have a winner!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 04:26 PM
5

I've not figured this one out yet! I am approached often but not in a good way. I often get asked for sex outright, even if I am just waiting for a train or at a gig. Or I get private messages on facebook from married men asking for secret sex. There is nothing about the way I dress that would say I am like that (I've only been with 4 men and I am nearly 40), but I am told I am beautiful often and I work out a lot. I have only been asked out on a date once in my entire life. So I go years betwee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 02:19 PM
37

Just what is the collective noun for a group of LVMs? A thicket? A cowardice? A skulk? An incredulity?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 09:05 AM
2

Ah left sounds familiar. The overweight balding ex who refused to take me out in public because of my looks, would text me all night every time I went out. Even when I'd go on holiday on my own because of course he wouldn't go on holiday with me either. He even told me he did this to remind me of him so I didn't meet anyone else. The man who was embarrassed to be seen out with me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 06:58 PM
3

Exactly, he really should've known better, he was nearly 50! The kind of man who would condemn others for exactly this behaviour on social media. Taking advantage of my empathy was a really dick move.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 03:05 PM
29

I have mainly talked about one man (narc traits, controlling...) whose treatment of me led me to therapy and eventually here. But I have been involved with one other man since then, it was well over 3 years ago now. I never dated again because I'd had enough, my judgement was way off so best to go work on it for a while! I thought I'd be safe with this one after the years of being with someone who negged so much, who was so mean. I'd known him for years and he is a little bit known. He has loads…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 09:50 PM
107

Yes! I've always really related to her, I am blonde and I do like to dress up nice... but I am also highly educated in the STEM field. At university there were so few women on my courses you could count them on one hand, there were about 50 men. I think things have gotten a bit better now though. People often assume I am stupid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 07:57 PM
28

I know a 42 year old who lives with his parents still, he has never not lived with them. Not because of money, he can more than afford his own place! He also tries it on with every woman he knows, he doesn't know we all discuss the texts he sends us. As soon as he knows you are single he is there messaging you asking for casual sex. I had no idea he was like this until I got divorced. We all think he needs some help.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 02:13 PM
5

And that is really why Rose didn't make room for Jack on the door in Titanic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 07:55 PM
3

Absolutely missed here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 07:51 PM
5

Cannot help but think of that scene with Carrie Fisher!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 05:50 PM
2

Absolutely, I had done all the thinking work.. I needed a way to put into real life practice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 02:27 PM
3

Oh no, that makes it even worse!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 02:25 PM
2

Pizza Express in Woking was his alibi!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 02:24 PM
1

Exactly!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 02:23 PM
10

Ah yes I can see that fitting the description. Oh no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 07:14 AM
104

That is heartbreaking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 10:32 PM
8

Yes, you have articulated what I mean exactly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 10:28 PM
184

I'm in the UK so I assume this is the same as proposing at Pizza Express here. Insert Prince Andrew joke here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 07:40 PM
53

Same! I am naturally easy going, I wish I could just be that way. But my life experiences tell me this is how you get shit on. I've not even tried OLD yet either! Today I celebrate 4 years since going no contact on the narcissistic LVM that damaged me enough for me to need therapy. I have read so many many books on this from Lundy to Baggage Reclaim, books on how to be less nice, less gullible... but finding here has been a revelation! I think maybe because you are all real people with all your …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 05:19 PM
5

Yes! I feel this is a good place to share a link for those in the UK to this charity called Surviving Economic Abuse. They do such great work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 10:42 PM
19

Ah yes this brings back memories of the time I turned up at his house, as planned, texted him to say I was at the door. He texts back to say he is busy cleaning his bicycle so I drive home without even seeing his face. He didn't even open the door. It's insane what I used to put up with from him. Funny thing is he barely rode it, he just cleaned, bought all the gear (and the clothes), talked about it all the time... but hardly ever rode it... obviously, he was very overweight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 09:40 AM
0

Yes!! I have thought this so many times. When I first read the term demisexual I thought, well I guess that's me then, I didn't realise it wasn't normal to not want to sleep with someone immediately based solely on appearances! But then I go back to thinking I am sure this is quite normal and usual!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 08:49 AM
10

Thank you so much for that reminder. 40 is looming and that bloody wall talk, even though I know it's bollocks, does have a tendency to haunt. However sticking around here does tend to shut it up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 11:53 PM
4

This immediately reminded me of this song by London Grammar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 10:23 PM
29

This is spot on! And yes please to a bit on exclusive FWB, I was one of those for a couple of years or so (I actually didn't realise I was just an FWB a for a good year or so).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 08:00 AM
5

It took becoming friends with the other ex to get over that logical fallacy. Then I realised it definitely wasn't me, there was nothing "not good enough" about me (it was obvious really, anyone outside of the "relationship" could see that actually he was punching).. he just treated all women this way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 07:50 PM
5

I have no idea. I'm not one for checking social media after a break up, even if I wanted to look I cannot! It feels a bit torturous to me. But his other ex (my friend) does, so I do know that he no longer has any social media accounts. Which means he now has zero internet presence. There is now nothing whatsoever online to show that he ever existed. I have never wanted to know what he is doing until now... but only in a schadenfreude way because I am assuming he pissed off someone so badly he's …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 04:00 PM
15

This is sadly really really hard.. no wonder men behave so badly when most media representation of men make manipulative or LVM behaviour aspirational. I have an ex who looked up to Sterling Archer, yes I should've noticed that big red flag! All I can think of is Atticus Finch and possibly Peter in Three Men and a Baby/Lady! I'm sure/hope there are more but they will come to me probably as soon as I send this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 06:12 PM
6

Blessed be the fruit. FFS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 05:21 PM
2

Glad to hear it! It helped me immensely after all the gaslighting, to find out he was a dick like this to all women and my instincts were right (that he trained me to ignore)... he was the problem not me. Enjoy the rest of the weekend!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 05:06 PM
15

I would've said that before the BBC did a news article on Tradwife the other day!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 04:57 PM
2

It certainly was! He had tried to make us hate each other (triangulation), he was under the misunderstanding women should be enemies fighting for the same man. No, we get together and laugh about the same man's penis and weird porn sick ways!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 04:49 PM
3

I've mainly experienced the low value high maintenance man. Exhausting and talk about diminishing returns!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 09:47 AM
13

I've been confused by exactly the same thing! As a broke overweight unhealthy student, no trouble getting asked out. Now I lift every day, a couple of STEM degrees, own business and mortgage nearly paid off. I've only attracted a couple of LVMs in the past decade (who treated me so badly I needed therapy) and I've not been on a date in years! I get asked for sex on a weekly basis, but never a date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 06:41 PM
3

Me and his other ex have laughed a lot making similar jokes! We are both very glad to no longer put up with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 02:35 PM
33

A man I have moaned about here a few times refused to see me when I had my period. Just would not be in the same room as me. For special occasions (like Christmas) I took medication to delay it before eventually getting Mirena. Pickmeisha up to 11 I know!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 08:03 PM
12

So am I. My word I was a dreadful pickmeisha... oh the things I did for a few crumbs. It's shocking. I've had therapy, and I found here. I will never put up with this again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/20 07:52 PM
26

The main man whose actions brought me to this place was so manipulative he used the fact he thought men should pay for dinner to not date me properly. He said if we were to go on proper dates he would want to pay, I earn 4 times his salary so I was all it's fine I can pay. But nope he wanted to be a "gentleman" and pay and he will not go to dinner with me unless he pays. Which he said he couldn't afford to do.... and that is one of the reasons he got away with sleeping with me for about 3 years …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/20 05:21 PM
16

His Adderall crumbs for a start!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 06:09 PM
2

It really does put a spring in your step!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 06:07 PM
25

I'm also new, just discovered this place three weeks ago and I concur. This feels like such a good place to be, it's genuinely kind and supportive because there's no bullshit here. There are so many things people say that are untrue to women dealing with shit men that actually causes more harm... they believe they are helping and comforting but it's all wrong. Straight forward honesty is what we need. I've checked here everyday and it makes me feel more certain and happy about my new life as a r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 05:49 PM
3

They are starting to do that, I know in the UK I've seen adverts for this website called Disrespect NoBody aimed at young people. I hope this is the kind of thing they are taught in schools too. I certainly was never told any of these kind of things as a teenager. In fact my own mum told me to dumb down, because "boys won't like a know it all".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 04:14 PM
4

Thank you! I made it easier on myself by doing a couple of things that guaranteed he would never contact me again. Nothing mean, just ignored him in public when he tried to talk to me after a period of no contact and he spotted me out and about... and I became friends with one of his exes (that wasn't deliberate, just happened). I knew I needed time repair the damage, get my self respect back, so I would not be weak enough to fall for it again, because I would've if he'd gotten in touch at that …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 04:08 PM
3

I don't know, there was a BBC News story yesterday about tradwives, they would never let a man do chores! They would do all the housework and give him a blow job. I mean there's nothing wrong in staying home to look after your children if you want... but "submitting to and spoiling her husband like it's 1959".... fuck that! I checked her twitter... but then I got even more depressed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 04:03 PM
14

They should be giving this book out to all teenage girls in schools. The wasted years and hurt it could've saved me if I had known this stuff earlier in life!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 07:08 AM
28

And it's how I eventually felt when I were an fwb for a few years... I didn't even know I was an fwb until a good year or so in, when he messaged to say that film was on tv and it reminded him of us. I had feelings by then so you know... I put up with it hoping he'd change his mind. That some woman must hurt him (he told me all his exes were crazy) and if I show him I can be loyal and trusted... the usual bollocks! I was completely clueless, I didn't know about these things as I'd spent all my t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 07:03 AM
3

How do I retain the gift of empathy whilst not letting myself be taken for granted by LVM? I am working on exactly this right now with my therapist! I've excused away a lot of unacceptable treatment from men in my life, after all hurt people hurt people! They must have had a hard childhood/bad relationship/trauma... they must be feeling worse than I do to behave like this.... but I end up worse off than them in the end. I need to show myself some of that compassion too! So no more people pleasin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 12:23 PM
4

My genuine first thought is tank fly boss walk jam nitty gritty... there's a song version of this post! Dub Be Good To Me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 08:22 PM
3

Fantastic idea! May I also suggest - X-Ray Specs - Oh Bondage Up Yours Le Tigre -Deceptacon and Hot Topic L7 - Shitlist Fanny - Special Care now this one is special, one of the first all female groups ever to achieve any success. I mean come on, just watch them! Burn that house down! Stunning. I love this... and their name means a different thing in the UK, where I am! Bowie once said “They were one of the finest fucking rock bands of their time.” And Fanny cannot help but make me think of Taste…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 11:33 PM
50

Same, I filter the bad liars out... so I've actually been with very few men. Which amazes my friends as they will often say how confused they are at how low my number is when I look the way I do. But these few men are the really really good liars, who can keep it up for years (I mistakenly thought getting involved with men I had known as friends for years first was a safe plan)... and they are the men who can fuck you up enough you need therapy. In other words, they are the narcissists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 07:00 PM
51

"Night time lovers, daytime friends"... what a line! I know this man well, except he was overweight and balding... I cannot believe I put up with it for so long! It's was 2/3 years of limbo for me, what was I thinking!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 03:32 PM
3

The young ones just run away when they discover how old I am (I haven't tried OLD yet, this is out in real life)! Their face visibly drops, they find an excuse, and are gone!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 12:19 PM
4

Yes, yes to everything in this thread. But this is the one. I didn't know I was just a fwb until a good year into the 'relationship'. Long story as they all are. He was either a narcissist or doing pua, I'm not qualified enough to diagnose that... but he was definitely an arsehole. And overweight, balding, shared house, and worked in a shop. I am in the gym everyday, own business, multiple degrees in STEM, and own home.... but what he did to me I needed therapy to get over. I felt worthless. My …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 07:08 PM
19

Oh the timing! Michelle Williams speech last night - "When it is time to vote, please do so in your own self-interest. It’s what men have been doing for years, which is why the world looks so much like them." "We are the largest voting body in this country. Let’s make it look more like us.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 08:36 AM
75

Whilst the "prime minister" of the UK is too busy on holiday with his young girlfriend to comment on this situation. While his wife and mother of some of his children battles cancel. Oh and the neighbours called police recently because he was being abusive towards his girlfriend. The UK prime minister is such an LVM. He cannot even say how many children he has. He's going to get on so well with POTUS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 09:04 PM
2

Perfect! As someone who once told her therapist to look this quote up to understand my troubles... this should be in the required reading/watching for this sub!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 06:37 PM
3

Perfectly said. Even now after years and therapy, tiny things trigger a flashback. Like the tone I assigned to his texts, if I ever hear that out and about or on a tv show I immediately feel dread. Pavlovian!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 04:02 PM
12

Absolutely also my experience. I've been with just one good looking, now very successful, man. Unfortunately our relationship was during our A-levels (age 16-18) and when we went to different universities we split up as most couples then do. Dating him was the last time I was with someone who owned a car, the last time an SO gave me a birthday present! He was intelligent and encouraging. He'd even come with me to visit universities (and offer to drive) when I was making my choice. I say even, th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 03:33 PM
43

It saddens me that Susan Sontag wrote about the double standard of ageing before I was born... and still here we are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 10:01 AM
35

Yep, I've been there. The way a narc doesn't do it at first is how I got caught out. Straight off the bat negging would not work on me... but after years of being a friend and 6 months of sleeping together.. then it got me. Oh how I bent over backwards trying to make myself good enough for him... a woman who earns more than 4 times what he does and he had me full of self doubt. Bloody ridiculous situation. Even now, years later with no contact, the things he said still haunt me a bit .
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 09:23 PM
39

Yes, narc or pua... XKCD have a great cartoon on it here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 08:26 PM
28

I am new to here and reading this tells me I am in the right place. I know these men well, and hope to never encounter one again!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 12:17 PM
20

This appears to be where I have been going wrong. Most of my friends are men and I have only ever been involved with men who were my friends for years first. They were not the good men they pretended to be for all those years. I thought knowing someone first would be safe. Also, as men usually just ask me for sex (and not a date) these friends were the only men who bothered to talk to me (in some cases for many many years) before showing interest in that way. So I ended up with them. 6 months in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 12:13 PM
3

This reminds me of one of my favourite Reductress joke articles. I once was told it was my fault for having feelings when I was upset at being told I was on "hold" while he went on a date! We'd been involved for a few years! All his exes of course were crazy apparently. I wish I had known about that now obvious red flag before meeting him. I had no idea. They should be giving the Lundy book out in schools.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 08:44 AM
2

I have The Guilty Feminist podcast to thank for my ability to not do this anymore, to not always move out of the way when walking down the street. They had an episode a few years ago now, it's funny but also serious, and they talked about it at length and I realised how I did that all the time. No more!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 08:08 PM
7

In my days as a Pickmeisha something that gave me great cognitive dissonance was this. I was starving myself, depriving myself, so I could take up less space in the world in hope that this would make me worthy of being a big part of someone else's world. That being small would get me love. I got so tiny all my friends and family worried, the man I was seeing told me I was too fat to take out in public. And he was properly overweight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 08:04 PM
1

It's quite an unusual film but I think some of you will find The Love Witch interesting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 12:31 PM
1

Exactly, exactly, what I am working on now with my psychologist. I've not been near a man in a few years... because I just kept being too empathic, turned me into, as the famous quote says "Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl." Excusing the way they treated me with the saying "hurt people hurt people" and thinking they must have had a bad childhood/relationship in the past and to treat someone so badly they must feel even worse than I do (being on the receiving end of their beh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 07:27 PM
6

I had a very satisfying revenge. I was with this LVM (I'd put money on him being a narcissist) for well over a year when he ended it for another woman. He spent the next year moaning to me about how awful she is... I ended up telling him to stop talking to me if he's going to keep talking about her like this. It's disrespectful to her and made me feel dreadful as he would never officially date me or even go out in public with me. So him preferring this apparently dreadful woman and dating her pr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 06:05 PM
2

Oh this is good to read. It's a theory I've had about the men I've been involved with... in my days as a Pickmeisha! Usually men just ask me for sex, first sentence they utter to me, so the few who bothered to talk to me like a person I end up getting involved with. But you know the story, the classic tale of dating a narcissist or someone who read pua stuff. I'm fit, lifting in the gym most days, own business, and my mortgage is nearly paid off. They've been overweight, balding, working in a sh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 02:48 PM
3

Oh tell me about it. I don't actually care what a man looks like, but the experiences I've had make me rather annoyed about this. I lift, I'm in the gym everyday, I miss carbs (except today, I allow myself all of them at Christmas). 17% body fat UK size 6... yet I've been told I'm too fat to be seen with in public by a man I was seeing who was so overweight he needed a mirror to see his penis. No matter how much weight I lost, how hard I worked out, it was never good enough. I was with him for a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 06:40 PM
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