Pretty girls get treated better ?

holodeckdeathtrap · 2020-03-02T11:36:46+00:00

Having been on both sides of the fence, I can tell you what the difference is.

When you know you’re pretty, you know another man is around the corner so you don’t feel the need to tolerate shit from losers. The aura of desperation falls away from you.

You gotta kiss a lot of frogs to get to your Prince. Pretty girls kiss the frog once. We don’t keep kissing the same frog hoping that one day he’ll become the Prince. And we don’t settle for the frog, thinking it’s better than being alone.

So much of dating isn’t about guys. It’s about us and what we’re willing to tolerate.

Radtron3000 · 2020-03-02T08:27:01+00:00

Initially they do but they also tend to attract all kinds of posers, men pretending to be something they're not, your basic wolf in sheep's clothing. Speaking as a pretty girl.

Radiant_Success · 2020-03-02T08:29:21+00:00

People who require and expect better get treated better. People who tolerate what's tossed their way get exactly whatever the other person feels like giving them.

2020-03-02T10:23:45+00:00

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rinabean · 2020-03-02T13:05:08+00:00

But my average friends have hard time keeping a guy and I feel like they tolerate more because they know that they can’t attract guys they want as much as more beautiful friends.

That's it, but it's a belief, not necessarily real knowledge. Men actually talk about this openly when it comes to being fat... they openly joke with each other about how you can ask a fat woman to do any degrading shit. They think the same for any kind of woman who doesn't fit the ideal. And these men want women thinking like that, that he's the best she can get, even though he's abusive... it's typical abusive behaviour really

But what it really is is low self esteem. You can have high self esteem and good boundaries no matter how you look (likewise, there are the most conventionally attractive women being treated like shit because they don't demand better... some are celebrities, so you know, they're not just gorgeous, they're rich and successful too, but they don't value themselves)

Men also have weird ideas about good looking women, sometimes they want to take them down a peg, or if they're worse looking they start getting big for their boots and think they can 'upgrade' further...

I am, at very best, ordinary looking, and I'm happily married. It really is about attitude and self respect

shiwanginaithani · 2020-03-02T08:08:18+00:00

Lvm would never put effort period. Even if you're an angel from heaven been with one I was significantly better looking then him coz I used to think ugly guys have great personalities (PS they dont) he would be so quick to show me off to his friends which I hated coz his friends weren't people I would like to talk to but he would call me fat when we were alone coz I would get fat rolls on my stomach when I sit.

jesza09 · 2020-03-02T13:17:46+00:00

I feel like I can weigh in here. I’ve been in both positions, being a late bloomer/ ugly duckling as well as gaining a lot of weight and losing myself in my pregnancies, basically I’ve been both very stereotypically attractive and very unattractive at various points in life. What I noticed is that yes, men treated me very differently while I was physically attractive vs unattractive but, not all of them. I would say it was the low value men who did. It’s cliche but I believe a high value man will see beyond your flaws because any person with half a brain knows that looks fade, our bodies change, especially someone seriously considering a future with someone, having kids, growing old together ect. Conventional/ stereotypical beauty tends to matter less to someone seeking a serious life partner. The men who treated me better when I was better looking, were only interested in me for that, and they’ll be the first to turn their backs on you as you start to get wrinkles or gain weight or when your body changes in pregnancy.

gigi_chi · 2020-03-02T15:12:09+00:00

It’s true but it’s because pretty girls tend to have a higher self esteem. If you’re pretty with a low self esteem they will treat you like shit.

99power · 2020-03-02T12:30:18+00:00

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wanderluster369 · 2020-03-02T14:15:31+00:00

I dated an LVM who told me i was the most beautiful woman he's ever been with which I believed cuz I've seen his track record and his homeboys said the same as well .🤫😯

Still treated me like shit and went back to his ex who he called ugly without makeup lol. Doesn't matter how pretty you are LVMS gonna LVM.

bitch_not_it · 2020-03-02T14:14:59+00:00

I know this sounds like a “poor little rich girl” first world complaint but being pretty isn’t all that cracked up to be. It’s the entire focus so anything you do in terms of career, hobbies/sports it feels like no one cares and you’re just reduced to how you look. And like another post said the guys who are attracted and treat you well will be the first to turn their backs at the first sign of less beauty.

And it is kind of like having a ton of money - you never know who really likes you for you or just for your money. And most of the time you are heartbroken to find out it was just for the money

Beauty fades always and I think the best way to not value it is really just focus on yourself - developing your own career you’re passionate about, or some side project you’re passionate about. Picking up hobbies or physical activities because you genuinely enjoy them not as attempts to attract a man

blackopium777 · 2020-03-02T07:58:58+00:00

Nope. How attractive you aren't doesn't really matter much, because LVM will still treat you like shit. I could look like a monster from the swamp (and I definitely did at times) and my husband would still adore me. And I am probably not even "pretty" normally.

Snowlamp · 2020-03-02T16:33:19+00:00

I am told I am pretty often, and I am super healthy and fit, but men very rarely want to date me, they just want to have sex with me.
I'll be asked for sex weekly, but asked on a date every few years or so.

So in the past I have only gone out with the very few men who made the effort to get to know me first, before they let on they want to sleep with me.
Because they were friends for years first when they did change and start treating me badly I assumed I had done something wrong and put up with it for sometimes years!
Partly because I knew it could be years before I'm with anyone again, and also because I erroneously thought I could fix things.
Change myself so they would stop being horrible to me.

I hadn't done anything wrong, they had just started the negging, the devaluing, the controlling behaviour, that they had masked so well when I first got to know them.

snaxattax12 · 2020-03-02T11:02:04+00:00

This actually has some truth to it. I get a lot of free things/ passes because of the way I look compared to my peers.

In reality, I no longer even let a LVM befriend me - so if people really want to get to me - they have to work really hard.

I'll also have you note that while your observation may be true. It does not mean you cannot attract a HVM. HVM are hard to find but they do exist. Your looks don't define you, your personality does. Ensure that you too are bringing something to the table. It's a balance of power.

2020-03-02T19:48:52+00:00

It really depends. I've known lots of hot women with loser boyfriends/abusive boyfriend's. It's about what they are willing to accept.

I think some pretty women assume that because they are pretty they don't have to settle.

The trick is no one has to settle for bad treatment regardless of looks.

Pleasant-Complaint · 2020-03-02T12:18:38+00:00

Not true. A LVM won't magically change into a HVM just because they managed to get a hot girl. In fact, many LVM will treat their hot gfs like shit because they won't to feel powerful. The issue with average-looking girls is that they tend to have self-esteem issues and thus they will put up with more. I'm average looks-wise, I think, and my husband falls all over himself to make me happy. Makes coffee for me, cooks for me, whenever I so much as imply that I want something, he'll jump and get it for me. And it's not because I'm beauty queen, but because he loves me. I didn't have to teach him, either, because that's what HVM understand on their own.

Davina33 · 2020-03-02T09:15:25+00:00

Not true. These girls are obviously sticking to their high standards irrespective of how they look. You can get a good man if you refuse to tolerate anything else. I know lots of women who aren't attractive that have HVM.

FodderFigureIllushun · 2020-03-02T23:43:11+00:00

Losers, scammers, LVM have to cast a wide net which means everybody--pretty and not so pretty will be attracting them. The difference is what you accept. If you're beautiful with low standards and weak boundaries, you may be susceptible to being with LVM solely on the basis that they approached you before a HVM.

That's why it's important to have high standards and strong boundaries no matter what level of attractiveness you think you are. LVM can sniff out low self esteem. In fact, they prey on it.

laeriel_c · 2020-03-02T18:44:58+00:00

I think people try a lot harder to get into your pants but then more likely to lose interest once they've achieved their "conquest" unless there is more to you than just the prettiness.

Novemberinthechair · 2020-03-02T21:11:24+00:00

Eh, lvm gets a pretty woman because she was brainwashed into thinking average and below average looking guys are so nice and so grateful.

Bullshit. The moment they feel comfortable they take you for granted. Their whole lives they got the message they're entitled to pretty women. Proof...pop culture, history, confessional posts online. Women learn they're not worthy of love if they're not perfect looking.

In other words, the odds of being mistreated by a below average looking guy is about the same as being mistreated by above average looking guys.

2020-03-02T20:41:59+00:00

The vast majority of men rank and treat women according to their looks, it's just a hard truth.

fleur0394 · 2020-03-02T21:36:44+00:00

> I feel like they tolerate more

I think that mentality is the issue more than just appearance. Whether you are pretty or average you can end up in shit relationships if you think your value is so low that you just let people treat you less because you fear being alone or not finding another.

I mean, models and celebrities and really gorgeous people can even get into abusive relationships, being cheated on, among other things. Scummy men will be scummy men, and the only thing protecting you is making sure you value yourself enough to walk away when you see the red flags of disrespect.

Not to say there is no such thing as beauty priveledge, but I don't think that's the whole story.

Maybe your friends can use some fds to realize it's better to be single than to be in a bad realtionship...

Calm_Link · 2020-03-02T14:52:43+00:00

Interesting. I always thought they took advantage of foreign girls because they can get away with more because in their country this isn't a thing.

ghygdryhchmmmmjj · 2020-03-02T13:41:24+00:00

You get treated better because they want to use you for sex. It's so depressing. Men view woman all the same, but if they can get sex from one they can pretend to care about them long enough to get it. I used to stress about my looks to a scary degree. I thought, if I look better I'll get treated better. This is false. It set me up to get into some bad relationships. One if them was a complete psycho and I had to go through lotsof therapy afterwards. I now am only focusing on things looks wise for ME. How is that possible? Well, it's for me and the general public I guess but not for men. I used to focus on being very thin because I thought that was "hot". This is really sad because I naturally put on muscle and am very athletic. I now am trying to see how strong I can possibly be. I dont care what it looks like. Because based on my experiences I truly do not want to attract a guy based on looking a certain way. You can nearly kill yourself trying to look good, only to find out the man you love is "actually more into curvy chicks." Or "really only into tall thin girls with dark hair." You cant win the "perfection" game. It's a moving target. Then you're just sitting there in awe wondering why you thought doing anything for the male gaze was going to benefit you. Think about what you think is beautiful and why? Sometimes this idea shifts when you really start thinking about what you want. I'm not a super model by any ones measure, but I've gotten alot of "nice" attention from guys due to them wanting to use me as an object. It's really sad. I'm 28 now so it took that long for me to get it. As a young women I was going to use my looks to get people to love me. Haha that is not how it works. Despite every princess fairy tail under the sun. Now, if a guy is being nice in any way but to genuinely respect me as a person I get annoyed, curt, and exit conversations quickly. Its actually more of an insult to me, that a guy thinks I'm still naive enough to fall for that crap so he can use me. It insults my intelligence. Cant they see the steelyness behind my otherwise sparkly eyes? The deadness of my face when they try to love bomb or throw false compliments at me? It's all a racket. Your friends are going to go through some suffering to learn about it that you won't be aware of or maybe already have. Its embarrassing to learn that your looks you thought were so important are still not as important as loving yourself and having a strong character. No one wants to brag about being naive.

2020-03-02T22:44:41+00:00

Maybe it's true in the beginning but LVM will LVM and as soon as the novelty wears off they start taking even the prettiest ladies for granted

Nildro_hain_ · 2020-03-03T00:39:29+00:00

Idk. I was an overweight, insecure teenager with truly drop dead gorgeous friends. They got treated better by the general public and got more attention, but they had the same old relationship problems, ie guys ghosting them, guys putting in no effort, guys cheating... I think it’s a small wider social boost, but not a big personal one. I’m now an overweight but secure adult and the only one in a gainful long term relationship

2020-03-04T06:03:47+00:00

Actually seeing all the stunning women I know get treated badly by the men in their life helped me care less about my appearance. I live in Los Angeles and compared to other places there are a lot of very attractive people, especially women. I can’t count the amount of times I’ve been out on the weekend and encountered beautiful girls in the bathroom crying over losers. These girls are instagram models, actresses, etc. I have a coworker who is one of the prettiest girls I have seen in my entire life and despite being way out of her boyfriends league he treats her terribly. I mean even Beyoncé gets treated poorly by her husband. I think certain things like status, race, and beauty can help women but at the end of the day most men treat all women the same.

Title	Pretty girls get treated better ?
Author	redfarmmmmm
Upvotes	120
Comments	45
Date	March 2, 2020 7:56 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fc8t02/pretty_girls_get_treated_better/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/pretty-girls-get-treated-better.681131 https://theredarchive.com/post/681131

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