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ghygdryhchmmmmjj Archive

View 6 posts and 501 comments by ghygdryhchmmmmjj on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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22

If a man has to be told to treat a woman how he would want to be treated hes hopeless from the onset.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 08:48 PM
3

I realized I could plan my life for myself. I dont know how to word it, but you can say you understand how to go after your dreams, but until you truly feel the freedom to do it you wont.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 07:33 PM
1

Hmmm sounds fishy, did a man write this? One of my ex's would do this. I look back now and suspect a porn addiction. I wound be under the covers and hes looking through his phone. Some of it was supposedly pictures of me. But I thought that odd, I'm right there... just look at me. He was uncomfortable to ask and sounded exactly like what this girl was asking for but frol his perspective. I cant understand this being a kink from the girls perspective. The ONLY reason I put up with it at the time …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 07:30 PM
1

R/narcissisticabuse
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 03:51 PM
2

I apologize I didnt read carefully enough! You're doing everything right ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 07:51 PM
2

Good!!! And good that you stayed blocked you got this! Relapses are normal in theese situations, but its not because of him. Something else has triggered you and you need to get to the heart of what that is. It's not him personally maybe a general feeling you have right now about your life? Quarantine kind of regressed me to being angry about an old toxic ex for a few days also. I had to re "come out of it" I had to ask myself why I was REALLY upset. I was upset because it was hard to work towar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 07:50 PM
1

Men like that do not change they just get better at hiding it. No one under thier spell or part of thier abuse cycle us a tryst worthy source of information. You just have to know, it's just as bad for the next and he will pretend the opposite on purpose. Have you blocked him everywhere? This is the most important thing you can do so that you are not continuing to get gaslit through his social media.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 07:39 PM
3

Everything is better than abuse. The only reason you crave it is due to a "trauma" bond. Have you tried trauma therapy for emotional abuse? Not all therapy is trauma therpy. Edmr was very effective for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 07:37 PM
8

On and off desperate romance b.s. do we didnt date for two years, but he wooed me for two
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 12:32 PM
37

Maybe you dated my sociopath, he did that alot I hear. Once at a karaoke bar a girl dedicated a song to his girlfriend (who was not there) in front of his tinder date. She stormed out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 04:52 AM
59

Ive never understood, why when getting a women to sleep with himself under false pretenses about thier values gives them an ego booste. "Scoring" doesnt prove that they are worthy of sleeping with a woman who was looking for a man who would love her first, they've only proven they can pretend to be that dream man, but are not. It would be like if a chicken would wear a peacock costume to get laid and then felt smug about what a lovely peacock he was. Men can not see the irony in this or why it m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 04:47 AM
30

You have to look for it on OLD. I think some girls seek it out because its fashionable maybe? or maybe more men in thier early thirties feel emboldened to purposefully seek out young 20's who will look up to them for simply being employed and "having thier lives together". Women in their early 30s already are employed and "have thier lives together" so they need more than this to be impressed. I remember when I thought having a career was the coolest thing a person could do. Now I have one, and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 11:37 PM
16

Lol this is classic. I had a boyfriend "get back together" with me but refused to make it official even though it made me feel very insecure and I commented on it many times. Then he was sobbing like a baby when I "broke up with him" on new years eve. Wha- how- what the- no. Just no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 09:42 PM
31

Emotional innocence. Pure and simple. I had a very good life and sweet supportive friends and family. I thought if a man went out his way to act like he loved me he did. That made me easy fodder for a sociopath. The Narcissistic abuse cycle produces trauma bonding and manufactured desperation. I was a HVM who was turned into a pick me by emotional abuse. I clawed my way back to the strong emotionally independentwoman I used to be, but now years later and I'm less physically attractive and have n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 07:37 PM
8

Ok so the "lvm" He seems like he knows everything..... Selfish in bed.... Checks out girls in front of you.... Ok so him "stimulating" you in conversation, are you sure it's not just that he challenges you , not in intellect but just argumentitivly? A person can pretend to be very smart just by being overly confident and shooting you down. Intelligence can be had in many different ways. Perhaps the push and pull, the feeling like you need to compete with other women is stimulating for your mind.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 07:04 PM
8

Over the type soap opera level acting. Seriously. If you ever feel that you're "playing a part" to MATCH thier fake intensity, or that the person is being very cliche and over the top ... maybe you're flattered but your embarrassed for them and you feel it. And this is important , it's not because the EFFORT is over the top, its the cheesy acting that goes along with it. If a man is over the top with effort, but isn't doing it for a fake audience so to speak he might just really like you. Watch …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 04:46 AM
85

A victim stands up for themselves so that makes them fishy 🙄 then if you dont stand up for yourself you must not care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 02:28 PM
23

Anyone who ghosts is not an HVM. Hvm are rare. So rare. If they dont treat you properly they aren't hvm. So you cabt give an hvm a "second chance" because you wont have to. A high value man to YOU is some one who cares about YOU.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 01:02 AM
2

I would argue that education is in no way correlated to every different kind if intelligence a human can have. But people appreciate different things about life. I understand if you want to talk about specific kinds of literature or study materials that he simply hasn't studied that would be very sad for you. Or perhaps it's that you just want stimulating conversations, also in no way directly correlated to academic intelligence. What kind of stimulation are you looking for exactly? Is he the si…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 10:00 PM
1

Lol ok then, I'll date the guys who like atlas shrugged so you wont have to date them 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 09:08 PM
16

"Her crying pissed me off so I told her gtfo".... WOW. Ok. That's all I need to hear. Hes a POS. WOW. Glad she moved on. So sad she had to lose her virginity to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 05:15 PM
7

Yea I've got one. Yuuuuuuup
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 07:24 PM
2

Thank you! Yes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 07:23 PM
1

! Woohoo! Good job you handled that amazingly. My only concern now is that he has your email. You're responses to the email break down are hilarious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 11:29 PM
20

I moved back with my parents after mid 20s to save money and undo the debt of all the fun I had in said 20's. I landed a way better job 10 mins from thier house so it kind of all came together. They'll be moving in two years also. I'm not going to date anyone until I move out. Hard line. If the point is to build to an end goal and leave, it's not a permanent thing, I dont see why I should strike up a relationship now. This in part because I don't want to date a guy thats OK dateing a girl who li…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 11:15 PM
20

A man who is empathic to your needs. Wants the best for you enjoys spending time with you, invests emotionally in the relationship, makes you feel secure in his actions. You never question weather you are respected as an equal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 04:10 AM
14

I mean it depends what the situation was. What if your husband was just like suggestively touching himself making eye contact with rose petals around him lol. You'd know for sure what it meant. Who lingers in fancy underwear? No one. She didn't say she was just aggressively fingering herself. She sounded like she was being OVER THE TOP suggestive and he was super trying to make her feel like crap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 03:48 AM
109

The big sign no one sees, me included. Being confused about what I meant to him compared other women or at all. That's it. If you're "confused" It means he doesn't care at all. "Confusion" is just a nice way to say "my aggressive denial of the truth, about the fact that this guy is pretending to like me only to get what he wants or an ego boost and if I were dangling off a bridge he'd shrug and walk away." If a man truly likes you it is NOT confusing. Its OBVIOUS. even when they TRY TO HIDE IT. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 03:36 AM
3

If she's embarrassed to introduce him as a boyfriend hes not the one. It's not fair to him either. She already resents him for all his unsavory qualities? Already? What does she think I'd going to change? Shes useing him as some sort of emotional crutch but feels too bad to leave him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 01:02 PM
2

It depends what you want. If I was going to have kids with some one or move across the country for them, yes I'd like a contract first. Absolutely. There are many many things I would never do without marriage. But I'm in NO rush to get married. I'm not even in a rush to date. But there are many things I would not do without the contract. If I dont meet some one I want to spend the rest of my life with then I will never get married. It doesn't mean I'm "opting out" of marriage. I'm just not looki…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 05:18 AM
83

Good for you! You didnt take the bait! What a loser.... ugh so glad you didnt listen to the comments. The last guy who yelled at me for not being able to " read my mind!?" was an emotionally abuse sociopath who I got away from years ago. Never again. People know when they are being treated poorly. No communication is needed when it's obvious some one doesn't care about you. If you feel like you're being ignored, its because you ARE being ignored not because you failed to beg for attention like m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 05:45 PM
80

Lmao omg, so this was great first of all. But you had me picturing a full grown majestic male lion, bounding towards his new potential loiness mate.it's slow mo and Majestic- then suddenly- the record skips and he stops and in a super high pitched nasely voice goes "um excuse me, but actually, how many other mail lions have you ever slept with? I know I just literally murdered your last male leader but you didn't actually sleep with him right? That makes me sups insecure." The lioness looks conf…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 04:24 AM
15

Career move, getting my credit score back to great! I have a bit to go still but I'm actually creating a future for myself now where I can be independent
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 08:52 PM
11

Yes. Couldn't have said it better!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 08:48 PM
13

This is so important. its NOT OK. Wtf. Glad some one wrote about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 08:40 PM
4

^ This is super important, block him on all social media or you will see his posts and be constantly reminded. Social media is very unrealistic in the way it makes us feel like people are part of our lives who are NOT. Modern problems require modern solutions. Make sure hes off every single part of your social media, delete the phone number ect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 12:53 PM
1

HVM do
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 03:54 AM
8

Focus on yourself. People say that all the time but what does it mean? He sounds really crappy personality wise by the way. There are things you think you admire about him... that maybe are just things you want for yourself. Hear me out. I've always loved athletic guys. I grew up swimming, so I was very athletic myself, but never "looked" it. I just looked slender, but physically I was very strong. I really like guys with visible muscles and, growing up swimming since I was 8 around other male a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 03:40 AM
4

Looking up other huge historical pandemics and problems, fires, earthquakes. If that's what works for you. The world just keeps chugging along. This won't be the worst or the last "anything". I already had a little break down a week ago. I cried and felt helpless. now I'm at the "meh I'll adapt" part. Its rough. Its normal to have the dread, the future is unknown. But everything will be ok as it always is. I didn't say it will be great, but we will carry on. We have all through out history :) re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 03:13 AM
2

YUP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 10:43 PM
2

I always use sunscreen! Well in the summer. Its true I dont slap on spf 50 to snow shoe in the woods in winter. But anytime its actually sunny and I'm out, I do. 30 to 50spf. and use the face moisterizer and face wash my dermatologist recommended for me years ago. Its 12 dollars bottle, sentless and wont cause me to break out lol. What is retinol? Vitamin C I get from my food I guess 😂 I am open to an eye cream but I dont want it make things worse. I've been thinking about something a but strong…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 01:13 PM
15

It's all true. And honestly, when I focused 100% on my looks I attracted narcissists and psychos who wanted to use me as a status symbol. They didn't care about mr at all. I'm older so "perfection" in certain ways looks much different now than it used to and I'm not going to kill myself over it. I'm only 30, but I have eye crinkles ect. I used to diet extremely and do alot of cardio. I build muscle easily so I always looked very healthy and toned even when really, I should have been eating more.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 09:52 PM
10

Men are terrible friends to each other! I would be so lonely and unable to bind with men over treating women like crap. Men ditch each other so easily. And blow each other off. My female friends are like family, and they are empathetic and care about me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 06:26 PM
1

Ok, as long as you're using the info for good. He was doing it short distance to people as well. But long distance makes it much easier. For a number of reasons. He had been triangulating about 7 women, then moved across the country and kept it up/ added new ones from his new state and different states. People he had met through different friend groups ect. One one of the girls moved for him, but he rejected her right before all her plans were settled to move, new job ect. People can use long di…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 02:48 PM
2

Oh absolutely. I think that's part of why I laughed! Pardon my asking but why are you asking? What is this post about?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 02:11 PM
3

Yup you're gut was very strong on this one. You did all the right things! It does hurt but truly it's not you its him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 02:10 PM
12

But you see? It was way too fast. He has no idea what he wants. His behavior in all of this has been either dishonest to you or very fickle and flighty. One week hes not in the space for commitment and going on sites in front of you, the next week he's found the love if his life? Something is rotten in Denmark. Things dont work way with genuine emotions. He sounds like a nut case. The reason you're upset is because it doesnt make sense. It doesnt! I'm so proud of you for putting your foot down a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 01:54 PM
8

That can also mean be was already carrying on with her. A WEEK!? huge red flags friend. Maybe he coukdbt have you around because you had proper boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 12:48 PM
12

If he wasnt one with you. He just really isnt one with anyone. It's a hard pill to swallow but it will make you feel way better. You know it too. Be broke up with his gf of 5 years because he wasn't in love with her anymore. Hm. He dated you but was also looking around even though you thought it could go some where. You were smart and cut it off. Ok. Finds a new woman and within a month this woman is meeting the family !? Red FLAGS! Does he really love people at all? You know he can fake it for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 12:46 PM
2

I already knew he was seeing other women, but they would "break up" and he'd come back to me. He never broke up with anyone he was triangulating. And its a really long story but one of the other woman was in a clear abuse cycle with him. I didnt have that vocabulary at the time, but I noticed he would flirt with me, but only in front of her. It made me very uncomfortable, and I wanted to be friends with her too and seemed like he kept trying to make her hate me. We where both very nice (part of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 12:24 PM
10

Kind of.... a sociopath had been pulling me in and simumtaniosly messing with alot of other women's lives . I finally put it all together as well as started to lose my ability to be in denial about my symptoms of abuse which seemed to coming out of no where. This man will be a cult leader some day. But it will never be called a cult. Anyways. Being around him triggered my flight or fight response. And the intense feeling that I was walking into a trap. It was a rush like no other. I remember tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 04:12 AM
5

It's fine to like a certain guy more. You admitted that some guys are way more desirable than others. It's rare you get excited. Always be nice to everyone and treat them as equals but dont go on dates with guys you're not excited about. If you're excited enough to be curious and go on one date yea that's fine but if a part of you is already bored at the thought than that person probably isnt for you? Even a guy you are really excited about will need to prove himself to you. Being kind to people…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 09:12 PM
6

Oh dang! Ok that's kind of scary! 😂 yes that's a bit soon. Yea listen to the others
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 09:51 PM
3

Well she said ask you on a date too soon. I was picturing a week in
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 09:39 PM
7

Well, isnt the point to vet them on a date? If you just keep talking in old, you're just pen pals. You might want to just meet them some where safe and public and have a real date and decide in person. The point if the date IS to vet them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 08:58 PM
37

My ex thought this too. The idea that I liked looking attractive just for the sake of looking attractive blew his mind. I wasnt accepting presents from strangers, but I was wearing tight high rise Jean's and crop tops all the time... because it was 2014 and it was in style. Still is. I was a bit skimpy. But I looked really good 😂 isnt that partly why he liked me? No. They want to be sexy and look good but only for them in private. You cant enjoy the benefits of being fashionable social, express …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 03:03 AM
10

😟 omg... wow emotional abuse. Wow. I dont even know what to say. You're concerns are valid, and he is crazy. And who.... wtf.... this 20 year old also thinks shes getting a good deal? Wow. I'm so sorry. Have you gently suggested therpy to her? By herself only. Sometimes a third party like a therapist can have more authority than family when a person is holding onto delusions and in denial. To have a stranger look appalled is different than a relative. You could suggest is at as , for her well be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 02:50 AM
17

The only real life poly relationship I've seen work and that stable are when there is commitment within the group. Like 3 people who do not go outside the 3. AND when it's two men one woman. Idk that's what I've seen. It's the only happy stable one I've ever seen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 07:35 PM
2

Yes he was the abusive one. No question. People dont suddenly become that way as adults. That's not how it works. And as for your mom sensing it, it's a gut feeling. You feel it. I'm sure you did too, I would get an adrenaline rush but I just passed it off as a crush kicking in. It was my fight or flight response kicking in and I ignored it. I know that now. Always listen to that. But yes those books paired with your experience, you will be a pro at keeping yourself safe! And it course I he trie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 03:00 PM
3

Yes. And you should never call them out to thier face alone because it is very dangerous and they do flip out.im glad you're ok. You can call them out on behaviors they do without labeling them to their face. Also it's bad to give them the vocabulary about narcissism and abuse because they use it to gaslight their next victim into believing that they are the abusive one. They do not feel bad, or suddenly understand becauseabuse is explained to them. They know what they are doing, and doing it on…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 02:23 PM
27

The biggest compliment a narcissist can give you is giving up. They realize they cant manipulate you anymore. Its not satisfying, I want the groveling, but I know that the full ghost is the tail between the legs run. Sometimes they hover, and sometimes they know you're "too much effort to lie to" and dont bother. They of course have to frame it as though they are rejecting you. But it's a huge compliment in a way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 05:32 AM
4

E Something. it's the one where I'm an extrovert and intuitive. I dont remember. The kind that needs to be around people to get energized, but listens to my gut and is not rigid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 12:46 PM
12

I would never express it, I would just flirt openly and express that I was attracted to them and they would take that as a go ahead to invite me over and expect sex without me getting to vet them further. They were always VERY physically attractive, but didnt feel the need to make me feel assured or safe beforehand. I was appalled by this and would demand a date first for safety reasons. Now if I'm appalled by anything I just cut it off, as it should be. I was doing it backwards. I wanted some o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 04:42 AM
2

EDMR and accompanying talk therapy. So there I was looking at a pointer with music going in and out on either side of my ears. It was very surreal. It really helped, and I'll be honest I'm not totally sure why, but there is information on it readily available. People really swear by edmr. You have to understand why you are so traumatized, you need to be able to release it. We push alot things down, are in denial about alot of things. I wont go into detail, but I was able to uncover surprising fe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 04:07 AM
87

It blows my mind the way men will ask you to meet them, for the first time, at thier place, Netflix and chill. Like.... um no that's really dangerous. And then rather than being understanding they get defensive. That then makes them look 10x more dangerous. Back in my pick me days I was fine with casual sex, and men would always want me to come right over. I would demand a date first for obvious safety reasons. They would be really uncomfortable and basically just waiting for me to approve so th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 03:56 AM
3

Trauma therapy specifically to target a traumatic relationship that had happened. I'm not a person who is comfortable with therapy at all, but made myself go. I'm really glad I did. I felt selfish going, or like I was being overly dramatic. Even though I was mildly suicidal, something I had never been in my life and is extremelyout of characterfor me. I couldn't accept the fact that I wasnt ok. I'm always ok, I always self sooth. Looking back I see it as one if the wisest most proactive things I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 03:38 AM
1

The sad thing is, guys will always be giving more time and attention to the "main one" if you agree to be part of a man's "harem" he will see it that way. Even if you go in under the pretense of equality, you wont get it if you let him, have other girlfriends. I think women are much better at being able to feel equal love for multiple people and show it because they have nothing to prove, they just want love. Men are the ones who always want this but are terrible at it and make it miserable. I m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 02:12 AM
10

I wasnt harassed but I was worried about a sociopathic erm .... "ex?" Reaching out 5,10, 15 years down the road. They see people as thier positions so you're never truly free unless you block and take all the precautions. In order to just nip that off I change numbers. Now I know for sure that if he somehow contacts me he would have had to get my number from someone else and contact me knowing that I did not want him to do so. At the very least it will make it MUCH more difficult for him to conv…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 01:55 AM
5

Yes. All of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 01:43 AM
7

I'm one of those people who doesn't think you need to forgive to move on. It takes longer. It takes alot if mental control to not ket yourself be in denial about people bring cruel on purpose and enjoying it. Getting to the point where no longer care does not mean you've had to forgive them. But in order to do this you have to accept how dark the world you live in can be and sometimes that's worse for people. In her case, this was REALLY traumatic. Forgiveness is one of the steps to healing for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 01:35 PM
38

It annoys me because usually it's in rap songs associate with major pick me behavior that the man is praising. When women refer to other women as bad its because they're hard core, fashion, sport, career. When MEN use it, it means you're cool with going to strip clubs with them and threesones with women even though you're not bi. The " Down for anything" pick me. I used to dress punk glam because I thought it would be secxy and intimidating. Men thought it meant I was "dtf" but not girlfriend ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 11:26 PM
7

When you dont care about weather you're alone forever or not 😂 . I wish I was joking. Im not. If you feel any pressure to find some one and settle down just to stave off percieved "loneliness" you will cave on your standards and fall prey to really crappy guys. Yea you'll be able to reject them, just like before, but only after they've caused damage, just like before. When you care about your standards and keep them strong you will lose alot of guys who dont meet those, see the red flags drop th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 10:49 PM
8

😥 yup
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 10:38 PM
6

Wow. Yes. Please.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 09:57 PM
6

H Sounds like hes sucking in a new girlfriend by getting her to empathize. That's what sociopaths do too! I have no idea how bad he is but the whole situation is crap and she needs to leave. Hes triangulating. Telling them both different information. Flattering the other girl, "confiding" in her, while avoiding talking about his actual girlfriend to her mysteriously 🙄. He hands his actual girlfriend the phone so she can see how funny and great his conversations with the other girl are 🤢🤮 yes. So…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 05:28 AM
47

Yes exactly. And it's a huge disconnect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 04:38 PM
17

Omg this is so depressing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 12:13 PM
15

Yup
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 12:05 PM
14

I think it's a mind click. No one ever saw me as a push over. I didnt see myself that way either. I always got what I wanted. Selfishly even. I thought. It turns out that I just cant bear the idea of a person being sad or hurt or uncomfortable for a single second who isnt me. It's a huge mind shift to go "they dont even care as much I did, they are adults, they are fine, they can handle it, it's not my job to keep them in perfect spirits. and everyone around you cheerful and happy." It's not you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 04:21 AM
24

Its gymnastics really
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 03:49 AM
29

Haha its things like that, that make them appear so much "cooler". Its like how 15 year old girls might swoon over the 17 year old with the car, because he has more "means" than them. Meanwhile the girls his age are dateing better guys with better qualities and they have access to cars of thier own so dont need one. If you look at it from the perspective of the guys your age who date many years younger than you, it all makes sense. To me anyways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 09:30 PM
3

Height does NOT at all make you low value by fds standards. It just doesn't. High value has to do with your character. Period. If anyone says otherwise their not understanding. People bring up height here because we encourage each other to look for a person we feel compatible with. Those who care about height bring it up, those who dont care about it dont bring up. For me fitness is really important. So I bring it up, but fitness in a man has NOTHING TO DO WITH high value or low value. That's ju…
/r/askFDS12/03/20 12:45 PM
6

Fortunately he responded to some comments lower down in the thread that pointed out... more diplomatically everything we're saying lol. He sounded like he was genuinely having a lightbulb about it perhaps being way more difficultthan hes giving credit. I'm not saying this to excuse anything I'm saying it to spark a little ray of hope for humanity. The commenters were much worse than the actual poster. The o ky people I know who've gotten puppies pretty much have all had breakdowns.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 03:51 AM
131

😂😂😂 OMG YES!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 02:57 AM
9

Oh dear lord
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 11:06 PM
15

Simp? As in sympathetic? I dont get it. This is terrible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 09:30 PM
5

Honestly. You dont need to be polite. I say this because I was some one who thought simply being "direct" was rude. It's not rude and it saves everyone alot of time. I dont know you personally, but the fact the you asked st all and based off how you've written this, I guarantee that your version of harsh is still quite appropriate. It is so hard for me to be direct , honest ,and not feel bad about how others may take it. Alot of times people actually respect it more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 03:15 AM
8

Friends can mean many things. I have a group of co ed friends and we all hang out, but the girls are the ones who I'm having sleep overs with and pre gaming with. Sharing all my hopes and dreams. Doing abs challenges with. My ex had female friends that he would hang out with 1 on 1 and they always needed up "falling in love with him". On the other hand I do have a best female friend with one make friend and they occasionally hang out. Hes totally ok, but I'm concerned hes secretly in love with h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 12:45 AM
83

Wow. Yes. All of it. I got tingly at the thought of a generation raised by worthy fathers only. Tingly. Tides a changin.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 12:37 AM
19

Fight for him? No. Lol. Not that. Leave him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 09:50 PM
5

This is so infuriating
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 06:08 PM
85

Wpw. Trying to scare some one with a gun, using intimidation as a control tactic like that is abusive. It doesnt matter if it's real or not. The "he just wanted to scare me" should be enough for her. What does he have to do, actually shoot her before she feels he has mal intent? Good grief
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 01:49 PM
5

😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 04:25 AM
9

And matbe it's just me but his neck looks "face tuned." (Photo shop) Lol who does that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 04:16 AM
2

This
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 04:14 AM
1

NO!!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 04:14 AM
84

Omg he should break up with her. So she can find some one who loves her. P.s. sucking dick doesnt make a guy love you. It might actually make a guy who DOES NOT love you keep you around for usage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 04:11 AM
5

Hehe I'm helping this a secret. I talk about my values but I font tie them to this. They're great values. I like a subtle crown tho
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 04:02 AM
57

Lmao horny hours
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 12:38 PM
64

Right. They're not even sexual!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 03:00 AM
6

I've gotten over 5. 😂 . It's more than possible. it goes away when you focus on yourself and what you want. Things take time but the best thing you can do to speed it up is blocking social media so you cant see what they're up to. Its distracting and keeps you from moving on
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 05:09 AM
3

Yes! Just the title, cant say that enough
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 04:55 AM
62

Omg reciporosexual. I'm dead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 04:45 AM
32

2 years is a honeymoon phase for most normal healthy relationships. I've read this as well. This assumes you've already defined the relationship, maybe date two years, if you font get married after the two years you break up. As the general idea
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 04:43 AM
9

That's no way this is real. Wtf. Wtf. Wtf. How could a person not realize they can hurt joy from a loving partnership and that making real connections with other people is kind of the point of life? A small percentage of the population cannot bond emotionally with others, sociopaths, psychopaths, and the like. It's a sad bitter existence. No one should strive for or be proud of that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 11:51 PM
4

Dude it doesn't matter. If you dont have implants they tell you that you should get them. Trust me. If you do have implants they tell you they like natural boobs. Dont give a rip, you do you. I like my boobs. They're small by today's standards even though they're not small by any means. It gets hard to even tell anymore looking at Instagram because it is much more common for people to get work done. That's why you have to have your own likes and dislikes and stand by them! I guess like what othe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 03:40 AM
12

Preach! High value is about true character
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 03:15 AM
4

Omg. Yup.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 03:12 AM
25

Omg this is heart wrenching
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 07:55 PM
189

Why do men interpret unwanted advances on thier girlfriends as thier girl friends cheating on them?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 06:44 PM
19

😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 06:41 PM
4

People who gaslight will always claim that it's the other way around haha. So it's good to understand the concept. Crazy making. Its very easy to make a person feel that maybe things are thier fault or they are wrong. Because when you are a empathetic person you take responsibility for how you make people feel. But when something is not right.... you know. It's when the guy who's cheating on you has you convinced you're paranoid jealous and cheating on him. My ex everyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 06:01 PM
1

Ok so hes a narcissist torturing her emotionally. Shes in therapy for her issues hes giving her. She lives with him!? He sent a... he.... omg I'm so confused. Hes evil. Wow. He needs her to have zero confidence to feel valid. I'm so mad right now. Triangulation would be an understatement. This isn't just an asshole, this is psychopath.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 04:59 AM
6

As a 28 year old I feel way better about it than I did as 23 year old. I know this is going to sound kind of silly and obvious but the guys age too. Their frame of reference for "young" does change with it. Are there older men that prey on young women because they aren't experienced and easier to manipulate? Yes. Do older men fetishize innocence because they want to be the ones to ruin it? Yea. Attention due to youth from men is not respect. It actually gets better in a way as you age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 04:53 AM
3

😂 oh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 04:42 AM
5

When I do it its shallow. When they do it, its smart and they are valuing themselves appropriately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 04:01 AM
7

Well that's encouraging actually
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 12:32 AM
5

Yup. Why do men bother reaching for the stars? Ever?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 11:57 PM
3

Anytime you make a boundary and they keep pushing back they're trash. That's alot of them sadly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 10:50 PM
33

Ok. I do believe that that there are good men, but reading this made me want to puke. There are hvm. They are rare. Due to sexism nice normal guys are socially allowed and encouraged to use woman for sex to booste thier own small egos. My job is not be an ego booste, so no I'm not going to praise men who dont deserve it until I know for absolute certain that they do. I will generalize all I want. I need proof on a case by case basis. My standards feel like the bare minimum. And I hate this const…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 10:43 PM
128

This is why I made the the mistake of wanting be "cool like one of the guys" for so long. I wanted THAT kind if respect and love from men that I saw them giving each other. I am masculine in some ways but very feminine in others. But you cant get that kind of respect from them. Unless they mistake you for a man online, you just wont get it. Which just goes to show.... it's an unfounded bias. I do have a good sense of humor, I am laid back, I do like to goof off, but none of that gave me respect …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 09:40 PM
19

Yes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 08:17 PM
1

Yup.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 07:47 PM
2

I'm a nice person. And I know this sounds odd. But I think we put way too much value in our society in wishing people well who are terrible. I'd rather use my energy wishing good people well. I'll even wish my frenemies well if I know they're good people. But a person who has no attachment to you and treats you like crap? You dont need to wish them well. And you have every right to be very cynical about them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 06:13 PM
9

Truth
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 05:25 PM
12

Omg I'm sorry. Is there a way for all of you to get out of there?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 05:02 PM
14

Woa. Mic drop
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 04:59 PM
2

Every time my intuition was right, and every time I ignored it. Well, actually that's tough because the times I did listen to it I'll never know for sure, because I noped out of the situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 03:25 PM
13

Yes this is evidence that would stand up in court
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 02:53 PM
15

Some people be ine parents because they want "objects" to abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 02:53 PM
14

As I get older I look better with less make up. No idea why. It get stuck in five lines, draws attention to flaws. I'm now weirdly fresh faced all the time instead of overly made up, and people peg me as 5 years younger. A little moisturizing here, a pop of color there, mascara, and bam. Nude lipstick. Weird. Never thought I would like that. It's great tho. Took me 15 years to get a good make up routine that actually improves my appearance 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 05:34 AM
9

I'm actually picturing some kind of crazy colorful lady gaga glam punk rock thing with disco lights 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 12:29 AM
15

The most interesting thing about blowing the lid off theese hypocritical situations is how hard it is to do! I would have felt sooo guilty going to a male strip club back when I dated my ex. But I thought it was fine of he did. So he kept pushing it until I wasn't comfortable. Long story. But why did I not care that it was something I would feel bad doing to him? Like hmmm
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 10:44 PM
2

ACTION!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 10:36 PM
6

😂 omg what would the van look like!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 10:35 PM
3

Some people would refer to this as the silent treatment. It depends how deliberate it was. It's a huge red flag for abuse down the road.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 09:24 PM
19

It's so sad :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 02:31 PM
11

No! Haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 12:27 PM
62

Wow. He told his friends, hes pushing berating and making get feel bad for not wanting to use special soap, he wont touch her. She feels BAD because she asked him now he knows his friends Vs smell good which is a perfectly VALID question. She's taking this emotional beating for no reason, behing humiliated, he sounds TERRIBLE. I highly doubt he's sweet and affectionate in other ways. She needs to LEAVE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 12:09 PM
6

It made me so mad and disappointed in humanity that I completely threw myself into my work. So yea I guess. I was forced to be better because I had to truly be proud of myself and my life, because I knew some guy wasnt going to come along and help me feel fulfilled. In an ironic twist I now feel I will be more able to find a fulfilling relationship, because I'm now happy alone. No true growth vones without pain. I wouldn't have done it without hitting rock bottom emotionally and having no choice…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 04:22 AM
1

I always say yoga or HITT or gym time! Feeling string us good for the soul. Of course I dont want to be a kill joy but I datrd a guy for 8 years and every time he wanted to go on a break it was so be could persue other people and not feel bad about it. It didn't mean be easy physically cheating all the time, just trying on new possible girlfriends. If he loved me truly he would have been terrified to go on a break with me and lose me. He didnt care. He knew I'd be there waiting every time. Until…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 04:09 AM
10

Wow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 10:35 PM
10

In my experience yes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 06:33 PM
4

Agreed, tides are changing! This was a hard one for me to get though. I heard it many times before I realized not being tied down by a lvm was a gift. Part of it is also realizing that most men will waste your time even though they are not compatible with you, and that they know this ahead of time. I realized it the most in my ability to plan for my future, and how much more amazing and tailored to me my goals could be when I was only planning for myself. Why were my goals so much loftier withou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 01:41 PM
7

Thank you for this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 05:42 AM
2

My parents have a dog. They are empty nesters. Mom did not want the dog, dad does all the dog care except for truly special occasions. It is her turn in those moments. He even kennels the dog if hes gone for a long time. Her and the dog get along just fine cuddle, and all that. She does let the dog out if she gets home first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 05:22 AM
5

Everyone wants love. I did too. To the point where I let it blind me and tried my very best to do the pick me dance for a guy that turned out to be a sociopath. Guess what was worse than being alone? Being abused by the psycho. I didn't love myself enough to see the red flags as bad. I saw them as a challenge. I would prove I was the best and not like other girls. I proved it alright, by proveing how desperate i was to the point where a psycho knew he could take advantage. It was actually my pri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 05:15 AM
9

Dnd is a GREAT way to make friends. You get tight with those people. Usually really nice and genuine people too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 04:43 AM
6

Do you like music? Concert going is a fun bonding thing you can do with aquaintences with no pressure to be best friends. Real friendships take a long time. Whatever music you like I guarantee there is a younger hip crowd that goes. Usually people find meet up groups to meet up with to go to shows. Concerts are nice because it's an activity to go appreciate the music, casual, the only thing you need in common with people there us enjoy the music. Concerts range from 10 to 50 bucks. There are all…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 04:41 AM
4

Lying seen as less harmful than cheap. Yup. This is the problem with every single post like this. People miss the most important point and argue red herrings and "not all men" until the point is completelt lost. LIE= BAD. HONESTY=GOOD. omg. It's real simple stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 10:58 PM
40

Yea I know haha. I might look them up and do the math. The most significant thing here is the terrible truth about women getting murdered. That's all that really matters
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 10:10 PM
126

I'd rather see this by population than country
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 09:42 PM
6

Welp. That's depressing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 08:19 PM
17

Omg 😂 the world isnt a living breathing super model incubator
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 08:14 PM
27

Therapy. Because no amount of self soothing will look in the eyes and tell you that you need to change your actions and be held accountable. I had a sociopath experience and due that, wondering how he was able to weasel into my life I realized as nice as I was I needed work in other areas.trauma therapy was amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 03:37 PM
8

Exactly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 01:50 PM
1

You get treated better because they want to use you for sex. It's so depressing. Men view woman all the same, but if they can get sex from one they can pretend to care about them long enough to get it. I used to stress about my looks to a scary degree. I thought, if I look better I'll get treated better. This is false. It set me up to get into some bad relationships. One if them was a complete psycho and I had to go through lotsof therapy afterwards. I now am only focusing on things looks wise f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 01:41 PM
6

Took me two years. Because doing everything right is what you do. Behind the scenes your brain is problem solving while you sleep, working through the trauma so yo speak. Wheb you feel stagnated its good to shake things up with some therapy or therapeutic books. Keep doing the things you're doing because when are finally all better you will be so happy at where you're at. Anger gives me more motivation than anything else unfortunately. It's when I'm happy that I struggle to work out! Harness the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 02:52 AM
7

😂omg that's the solution. We need to include more body types in bdsm. Yes. THATS the problem. Oh my lord.... (sarcasm)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 02:04 AM
10

What's scary and why theese "seemingly obvious" things need to be said is that I catch myself doing this subconsciously. It's like a knee jerk reaction so I have to overly fight against it in regular life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 01:58 AM
57

I hate this. I cant tell you how many men I've heard say "its not like we were commited" when justifying some horribly cold thing they did. As if not bring commited means a woman deserves to have anything done to her under the sun but its her fault. That's why I will now not get intimate until commitment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 01:27 AM
16

Same. Itd not friends. You are object with a purpose to them. It's depressing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 01:21 AM
20

😂 how about marie curie? For good measure
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 11:05 PM
17

I feel this so hard. Overcoming the trauma of abuse is a long an intense journey. The power of a trauma bond. As you described perfectly here, is a really big deal. Your brain is conditioned to crave, not the abuse itself, but the intense emotions surrounding the abuse. The push and pull. You are also abusively conditioned to not trust yourself at all. They make you feel crazy. You're trapped in the twilight zone. Your mind is not your own. After a non abusive upbringing I had a dateing "experie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 10:51 PM
16

I sent some paragraphs when I was first learning my worth. I then blocked them. But I just did. Now I would send a "no". Or just block no explanation. It's ok to have a mental shift. The no or block isnt rude or blunt, its necessary. But we've been conditioned to think its rude. The most important thing is the leaving. So I agree, dont send the paragraph, but if that's where youre at mentally, sending a paragraph and leaving is waaaaay better than trying to stick it out with an lvm. Lol to "Tayl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 10:41 PM
1

But you have to do this right away or you've been stringing some one along. If that is done its possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 03:46 PM
4

I feel more complete alone. And it's not "alone" tho. To my have a romantic partner is sometimes more alone. like.... I turn down friends for plans constantly and still have too much do. I naturally bond with those around me it's actually why I need fds so bad. I'm a magnet for trouble so I have to have really strong boundaries and tell people NO. its also why I probably feel stronger and more myself without a romantic partner. I might find some one some day who truly fits in my life but idk it …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 05:29 AM
10

Wtf did I just read. Sounds like a narcissist doing what they do with full knowledge of it and being fine no remorse. Yes these people exist in real life. But omg they need to stop existing though. This reads like a person who experienced narcissistic abuse and writing it from the other side. It even has some buzz words.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 05:17 AM
38

My sociopath did every single one if theese things. Pay attention this is ALL TRUE. Theese are the signs of a man trying to tear you down and make you feel desperate. Manufactured. Desperation. Dont let it get that far.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 05:10 AM
7

WOW. Ok I understand. Its depressing. But yes it did not seem like a real thing that would happen. Revenge fantasy for fake oppression. Omg
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 07:56 PM
3

Ahhhhhh I see. Like hes exaggerating. Ok this whole post makes sense now. I find it hard to believe but if it's TRUE its unfair
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 07:35 PM
30

Boom. Mic drop.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 07:11 PM
7

I have really close great female friends, a great job, and hate sharing chores with people. I dont want female or male roommates. At this point the only thing a relationship would do is require me to compromise my crazy and exciting life plans that I never dreamed I could have.... until I let myself stay single. Do guys want to date me? Of course. But I have specific standards and some self construction to attend to. I'm taking a break from dating. The longer I'm planning my life withOUT a partn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 03:38 AM
29

YES. you did the right thing. Telling you he "would come to love you" is holding a carrot out to string you along. It's like a great solid base for what could become an emotionally abusive situation. Or just a guy who isnt interested in you but was leading you on because penis. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Ugh. Block him maybe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 03:18 AM
11

WOW. Good job for you asking the hard questions though. You didnt want the answer but then you knew. Congrats on leaving him behind!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 03:14 AM
4

Lmao! The bad female anatomy is so spot On.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 03:11 AM
8

😂 must not work outside the home, must not ask for money, must contribute 50% of all costs
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 12:14 AM
3

Ignore ! Yup. No need to stick to the regular "polightness" standards in theese situations. It doesn't make you petty as people may try to guilt you into believing. You judt ignore any interaction even if it makes it awkward. That awkwardness should be the strong signal to the guy to not even try it, so to speak. Ignoring isnt hiding. You can do it boldly in the open haha. I'm a very kind polite person in regular situations, so I had to learn it was ok to throw the rules aside for theese situati…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 04:49 PM
2

😂 omg
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 04:52 AM
8

What is mind blowing to me is none of the commenters grasped the fact that she felt unsupported emotionally. She says he was at work all the time or on the couch or at the gym. He sounded like he was avoiding her alot outside of work on purpose. No where does she describe any emotional support from him. Yes hes busy working because some one needed to have a job. But why the coldness? Why is supporting a loved one through a difficult pregnancy unfair to him to the point where he is bitter? SOME c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 04:44 AM
48

It's the hypocrisy that makes it's so unbelievable frustrating. I love when something outlines this clearly, because it is so hard to explain for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 03:35 AM
10

Same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 11:00 PM
122

Men date women as stepping stones to a "better woman" in thier stupid minds. Never be the placeholder. I also am not gonna make some guy my place holder. That's stupid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 10:58 PM
22

Yes. Facts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 10:57 PM
9

Every time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 10:55 PM
2

SOOOOOOOOO yes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 09:56 PM
2

No it's fine! This is an interesting one
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 08:04 PM
8

You keep doing what you're doing and wait. Seriously the brain works through its problems but you need time. You will feel better! Also important to not be snooping on exs social media and such
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 01:45 PM
33

This was posted here to days ago as a "nah sis" I think due to the last part. Lots of reposts here. I'm here too much though lol. Like I need to stop. Bit also this has accurate stuff in it. Like the hard pill that, a guy already knows if he likes you. If he isn't all over it then he doesnt care and wants to use you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 01:36 PM
52

I think subconsciously I only sleep with guys I consider attractive enough and "cool" enough to date. Pair that with the release of hormones and bam I'm a goner. The only time I've not gotten attached to guys from casual sex was when I was in a really weird place and willing to sleep with guys I wasnt smitten by. Even if the sex was really good I had already decided I didnt like them. Well that was weird. And caused me alot of stress because they wanted to pursue something and were hurt ect. In …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 04:36 AM
45

This is amazing. It's TRUE
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 04:19 AM
9

Omg. Im done with this planet. It's so true
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 10:17 PM
6

Well, In one sense the reason its important to do it "for you" is because it will not make anyone treat you better. I think there is a misconception that "if I look a certain way I will be more desirable to others, and due to that desire, they will treat me better." Desire does not equal an emotional attachment or better treatment from anyone. The most beautiful woman in the world get cheated on and abused just as anyone else. So you have to do it for you in the sense that you really will person…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 05:18 AM
7

Greeks were sexist
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 04:56 AM
1

My sexual desire increased in my long term relationship. I found out what I liked and loved how comfortable i could be with his body and vice versa. I think dudes just flat out stop trying
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 11:34 PM
9

The only reason it seems like most good looking are terrible is because they dont feel the need to pander to you. They have been trained by pickmes that all they need to do is be attractive and they can show thier true lvm qualities without repercussions. Some one will always be willing to sleep with them. I think less attractive guys can seem so much friendlier because they are hoping for a chance to date or hook up. This doesn't mean they are hvm necessarily they just have more consequences an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 11:00 PM
1

This exactly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 09:19 PM
12

An hvm would NOT date a woman he would act like an lvm to or use for sex. So he wouldn't have the opportunity to be an lvm to anyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 09:15 PM
3

20%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 09:14 PM
3

You are no obligation to cover for an abusive person. You have to understand many people will not believe you. And if it comes to it you have to be prepared to go to court. If you are at peace with those things you can do it. But its better to tell people in confidence than a public post. I started opening up about it to people face to face in moments where it made sense. Mutual friends. I did this with the idea that I could weed out the people who didn't believe me. I was very excited and ready…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 05:19 PM
2

Women: exists in body she got. Men: why do you dress so sexually?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 05:17 PM
24

Lol so if he doesnt work clean or give head, shes entailed to a side guy or two
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 05:02 PM
5

Lol yes today and last night it was wild
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 05:00 PM
-2

I a km want a link to theese so I can go help
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 04:53 PM
11

Yup. Listen you will get dumped for this. That's a good thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 06:06 AM
91

That mf better be chaste. I only date virgin dudes sorry 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 10:02 PM
34

😊 I feel proud of myself and encouraged reading this and I'm not even your hvm 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 09:11 AM
1

:( thisxis just another form of oppression. Like you ate allowed to wear work out clothes and Jersey materials!!!! You existing does not mean people should only serve you sexual. It's a huge disrespect
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 06:15 AM
12

Beaty is soooooooo in the eye of the beholder. It seems with men, what makes them look good is fairly simple. Be reasonable fit. Have all teeth. And the rest is subjective. Female beauty seems to have more types in the eyes if men. And more that is expected. You know what I think? Being clean and taking care of yourself is what gets you ahead in life. "Beauty" can be so many things. But just dress for the job you want, throw on some chapstick have clean hair. If you want to highlight your natura…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 08:53 PM
22

Lol a turtle neck is one of the most nonsexual things you can wear. I guess they can be tight but what's with guys and turtlenecks? Lmao. Also if you have a nice figure and you clothes fit appropriately people will see the shape of your body. Like. It's just there. I had a jealous bf once and he was never comfortable with what I wore. I dressed flashy, tight clothes. I liked fashion. One day I finally said, what would you be comfortable with?! A burka? And he was like .... haha yea. So ar least …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 06:00 PM
6

Yep. That would make everyone I've ever met an lvm though lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 04:58 PM
7

Lol no. You haven't met my dad lol. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 04:39 PM
9

Wow that's so scary. I'm so glad the professionals used their critical thinking skills and could help!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 04:16 PM
3

I'm so sorry you went through that. I'm some one who had zero depression or anything else, in total control. Was happy all the time, very calm nothing to prove. No one understood how. Part of it was that I was emotionally innocent. I thought all people were good and the world was a happy bubbly place for me. Anyways I got mixed up with a sociopath due to this innocence and after two years of contact with the abuser I had developed anxiety attacks, PTSD episodes, depression where I couldn't get o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 04:05 PM
27

In real life men respond extremely well to fds stuff. Seriously. It's so annoying because its true. I dont do it for them, but they love it. I'm suddenly "a lady" "girlfriend material" because I font want casual sex. then when I go further and dont even want to be their girlfriend they like and respect me even more. It's like this "omg I wouldn't date me either shes so smart." Why do men devalue you for dateing and sleeping with them lol. Idk and I dont care but it's a rigged system, ap I'm just…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 01:22 PM
12

The greatest inner peace I ever got was from deleteing my apps. Now I'm working on myself. Some day I plan to move to a large interesting city with a higher population where I will meet real people doing real activities. I currently love activities with my friends and the peacefulness of my own activities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 05:11 AM
12

Thinking about what you actually truly want. You have to shake off every single outside voice. It's not even what you think you aught to want based on pop culture. What do you really really want. Then believe you can actually do it and be willing to put in the patient industry. I used to not believe I could live my true dream life because I didn't believe in myself. Sounds cheesy but its true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 05:06 AM
10

Not every part, of every movement or philosophy is good. Its healthy to always always always review what's truly working and what isnt. Otherwise you're just raging on behalf of the machine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 05:01 AM
5

Yaaaaaaaas!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 04:57 AM
47

Abuse victims are sometimes even diagnosed with bpd because PTSD and the emotional rollercoaster that abusers set up for them can display as bpd. So you can be an abuse victim, have your abuser sign you up for therapy because they've driven you to the brink, and the therapist sees what look like symptoms of a personality disorder. Then the therapist is helping gaslight the victim without even realizing it. And that's my huge downer fact of the day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 04:53 AM
3

Oh this sarcasm or a troll lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 04:47 AM
42

Yup. Yup. Yup. Double standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 04:44 AM
19

PREACH. This is what is so hard to explain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 04:42 AM
7

😭 yup. Lol so yea not anymore. 😂 this is exactly why put ruthlessly why it suck so much to be on the receiving end. It's a lose lose lose situation with a percieved reward at the end which ends up just being you ghosted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 04:37 AM
2

Actively is true! And even with her sister trying to help
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 11:21 PM
27

"Women are so much more emotional and irrational than men. They need us to give them direction and logic." Meanwhile they live in contradictions every day and shift reality to suit thier needs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 10:41 PM
11

Being a pick me doesnt always mean you're stuck that way though. She has low self esteem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 10:12 PM
3

Some one from a narcissistabuse sub told me I was ready to graduate here after I'd posted that even though I had healed from the abuse I was disappointed that even "non disordered" men lied and used me. So I came here! Level up
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 07:11 PM
47

Seriously. How do people equate this? Cognitive dissonance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 04:30 PM
22

I end up bonding to guys I normally wouldn't if I have sex with them. Really get to know them first im serious. Sex is really intimate. Thays how I would always lose my power.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 11:47 AM
18

Slow clap!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 07:09 AM
10

My biggest beef with this kind of thing is that they make it sound like the only meaningful form of love is from sexual relationships. Wtf. No. 9.9 out of 10 times that is not the purest form of love because its self serving. You know what true love is? The family pet yout dad secretly cuddles with even though he said he didn't want a pet. It's a new grandma spending all her free time doting on a granddaughter with tea parties and trips to the museum. It's two platonic friends crying in each oth…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 04:41 AM
5

...... oh no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 10:30 PM
70

Reproduction isnt a right. Boom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 09:19 PM
10

This is very important and a good point
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 07:27 PM
2

Edit: if you can the absolute best thing to do is go full no contact with him, and anyone who doesnt see him for what he is. But sometimes theese things are more complicated. Mine is also genuinely liked by people. There are a few that truly believe hes the greatest human of all time. Those people are idiots. I'm not suggesting a call out to the world, or even at all. I mean of you dont like him dont have to pretend you do. You are no obligation to do that. You'd be surprised how many others agr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 03:12 PM
12

The extremely sad part of this is that its not getting treated like trash that draws them in, if at all, it's the attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 02:39 PM
16

Omg plz what's your list of red flag animes!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 06:13 AM
44

Manipulating women into bed, is so funny and awesome! It's ok because they were hot bimbos who deserved it! This is one of the main reasons I dont do casual sex anymore. Not the show lol just that mentality. They want you sooooo badly, but your dumb and a slut if you do it, so obviously its your fault you fell for it not theirs. There is no way to win. This is the kind of double standard (triple standard?) that men see noooo issue with. I've tried explaining it and they hit me with "guys get use…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 06:10 AM
14

This is a really good observation. A big thing about these people is usually they are very boring and empty. They have to create drama and push and pull and play hard to get. If you get to close you realize how two dimensional they are and "contentless" they are. They are the wrapper to a candy bar. An empty wrapper filled with air. Soooooo disappointing. they're very good at insinuateing a deep complex personality without actually having one. As you said yourself. There was nothing special abou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 05:40 AM
20

Wow red flags! He was upset about the "unforgivenness " of his relationship with Selena?! So hes sad and hurt hecayse she didnt forgive him, not for anything HE did to make her mad. A bit narcissistic. Just a tad. Always the victim.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 05:30 AM
19

Keep it coming 😂 won't change my standards. I want to be safe and avoid abusive situations. I want men to wear a condom. I only want some one who truly cares about me to benefit from my body and soul. Guess that makes me CArrrrAZY and dogmatic. That's so sad lol. Because that is only my bare minimum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 05:26 AM
16

Mwahahaha! And literally the worste case scenario is that they dont get to have sex with her unless they actually care about her and she is allowed to make that decision. OH THE INHUMANITY!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 05:21 AM
2

If you've truly made it clear, which it sounds like you have, you're not leading him on. These situations can ultimately become uncomfortable. I suppose there's nothing wrong with it unless .... are you the kind of person with a fixer complex? Will you skip plans you actually want because you're suddenly called on to hang out with a person you feel needs your friendship to be ok? I say this because I struggle with this. I have to set very firm boundaries. Being kind, consistent and setting the t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 05:12 AM
13

The hypocrisy is so real
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 04:58 AM
5

Yes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 04:50 AM
24

Oh my... omg what the hell 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 08:54 PM
7

Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 08:53 PM
3

LOL wtf is it about!? Just - why !? 😂 glad I'm not alone
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 08:48 PM
11

I'm starting to think guys have mum or of different persona profiles just as a catch all yo see what works 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 08:06 PM
4

Lols also a possible dealbreaker 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 07:59 PM
5

We need more "yous" and less "thems" in this world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 07:37 PM
7

Damn. She does an amazing job of describing the pressures and how fruitless it all seems. So glad I'm taking a treadmill break! I dont like OLD. Deleted all my apps. Come what may. The blonde boy story was an intensly sore spot. I'm usually the throw away warm up act before they meet the one. And then i have to see it on social media. Because that's how I find out they were even seeing anyone. Tale as old as time. I've helped lots of guys realize they want to settle down with a meek yet sweet br…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 07:07 PM
19

Is it safe for that man to be in your son's life at all? I understand you want that for him but abusive people like to use kids as leverage. You pretty much have to get as far and fast as you can. I dont know if you're son experienced the abuse but a relationship with an abusive parent is not valuable, it causes lots of damage. I'm so sorry you went through all that it sounds terrible. And very unsafe. This is very good advice, and I hope you are doing well on your healing journey.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 06:50 PM
61

I once had a guy tell me "I like girls like, you're not one of those big tittie blondes that gets all the attention. You're just off dancing by yourself doing your own thing. You appreciate attention more dont you." He said it in kind of a menacing way. Lmao. I'm naturally quite pretty. I dont have implants no. I dont dye my hair. And what I WOULDN'T GIVE TO DANCE MY BUTT OFF WITHOUT GETTING ANNOYED AND INTRUDED UPON. I get way way way more attention than I want, just like all women, and it woul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 09:49 AM
10

Well. Honestly I think the fact that the nature of the dates dont involve sex is a big deal. If I met a guy who was sleeping with 5 girls I'd be concerned he was a fuckboi. Obviously. If I met a guy who was going on dinner dates with women in the same nature I would be... I wouldnt mind. I might have insecurities pop up. I tend to know after three dates if I want a fourth. I think in general I woykd be going on dates with just one guy after a time, if it made sense to me. I think men do take for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 08:05 AM
35

I seent it! Lol omg I see this all the time. Appearing single... just in case?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 06:54 AM
4

Yes. Confirmation bias indeed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 04:06 AM
9

Interestingly that term is one of the only things that helped me fully expunge some of the unhealthy beliefs I had about how little I deserved. I've been in a couple situations where the triangulation was just... ridiculous. Instead of instantly getting upset and leaving those situations I did my very very best most exhausting pick me dance because I thought then I would win and be the favorite girl... of my own boyfriend. 9 years you guys. He was my first and only actual boyfriend. I didnt thin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 04:03 AM
17

Yea 🧐 fascinating
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 03:44 AM
30

👏...👏...👏...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 03:43 AM
7

If you're confused about how he feels hes not interested. You didnt scare him away. If he was looking for something serious he would have made it more clear. You should never have to be in the position of wondering if some one "wants" to ghost you. You absolutely deserve initiation and affection. Just meeting a person and them talking to you shouldn't be enough. If he went out of state and you dont know him yet, why might be wanting to continue anything at all? ask this simply a practical questi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 03:35 AM
4

I'm really good at making friends, BUT I only have 3 female best friends. Those I really trust. They all started as strangers. Friends take vetting too. Sometimes friends are just people who you are familiar with and have the same hobbies. My female friends are the nicest people I know, but I've drifted from others also. Look for hvw who are kind and understanding. Friends should be able to laugh together. It can start with a club or work and after many months of "the surface stuff" the true fri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 02:34 AM
3

I think we promote that you cam change your situation, become a better person, and be whole enough to not fear life without a partner (and to be realistic about the obvious benefits of life without a terrible partner). If we get better and level of lvm who are "trapped" the way they are can no longer argue it's just impossible for them to work in themselves. We're taking away their own excuses that them not attracting women is due to things they can possibly change.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 01:13 AM
3

Lmao. And us asking to be treated like humans of worth, is an attack.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 01:04 AM
3

😂 such a calm and reasonable response
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 01:01 AM
3

What did he even by "as rough as that may be" ? I'm very confused
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 12:58 AM
6

Plus having a strong female support system is a huge mental health bonus
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 12:56 AM
9

I have the same problem. No matter how many men I'm "courting" even with no sex involved, there will be a standout. There will be one who I will be profoundly sad to let go. Buuuut if you follow fds you will be able to tell how much he cares before you get attached at all. Seriously. First two dates - does he initiate? Does he pick a time and place and stick to it? Times and dates not "some time" or "yes we should get together". Ok dude when? I feel like I vould have vetted out every crush I've …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 12:52 AM
15

Lol uh oh. Tables turning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 12:36 AM
3

Wait... your nex? As in narcissist ex? And your asking if hes being sincere? My dear to do you understand what NPD is? The answer is always yes, it's just manipulation. He wants control over his abusive supply that left him. I'm sorry. It's a huge pill to swallow. On the bright side you never have to wonder if he ever loved you or of he has a secret good side. You know for a fact he doesnt. Every kind word is just more manipulation. I could barely read what he was saying because it was all so va…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 10:28 PM
35

Yep! Because if he rely cared he wouldnt have asked for space.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 10:21 PM
20

Ugh. I hate that "still love you" crap. Men in my experience have a knee jerk reaction to keeping women on the hook... just in case. Well you're not anyone's just in case! You're a person. Good riddance. It's fine to be sad but dont ever let doubt creep in. Block everywhere so you dont see his posts you dont want to see ect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 10:21 PM
7

Your brain actually has to undo the abusive conditioning. It has to PHYSICALLY REGROW connections. This takes time. It starts with full no contact of the abusive person. Then lots of time. Everytime a positive memory of the love bombing floats in , you smash it down. It wasn't real, it was fake part of the manipulation. The bad ones were reality, his true character. The bad ones you can go ahead and let yourself remember. This consistency over like... 2 years , for me anyways got me to a point w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 09:12 PM
5

Lol I mean she is at least his wife
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 07:27 PM
28

It can get pretty bad there. Like a woman stuck in an obviously abusive situation and people giving her advice to try to see it "his way" essentially helping with the gaslighting. I think there are a lot of young inexperienced people there reading the words not the meanings of situations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 07:25 PM
7

Omg yes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 04:10 PM
14

Yaaaaaas
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 04:08 PM
1

Yup. This is a very good reading to block. Dont torture yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 04:51 AM
3

Hes not afraid of losing you. At all. You deserve better. Leave him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 04:45 AM
8

Its normal. It's good your human. But he could have treated you better. He had more than enough time to do that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 04:40 AM
10

Well. He asked to continue to be friends and then you agreed. You have no obligation to stay in contact, but given that the situation isnt malignant you can always give a brief explanation and say bye. Its only because you owe him any favors but why not. The people I have ghosted without explanation were people who had wronged me greatly. It's ok to communicate clearly, also fine to block, but cant hurt to say something before the block. In my opinion ghosting is always worse than Frank honesty.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 04:37 AM
35

I cant watch this because it will make me sad. He could have left her with her money and stayed be better off
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 04:28 AM
2

You cant project your own kindness on to another person. It's different for him than you. He had his chance and he blew it. Deep down he we I'll understand perfectly. Or, more realistically, wonder what took you so long to leave....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 03:51 AM
7

Wow. Hes trying to force you to have a different kind of relationship than what you are comfortable with and want. I've had the "man demands fwb" situation before.... no. They try to argue that a "friendship is some how a compromise for you, because they are soooooo special that you would let your boundaries about relationships cave in order to keep them around. But only around on their terms. You've made it clear what you want and he made it clear he cannot give it to you. Block.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 03:47 AM
11

Dear lord
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 03:39 AM
14

The concept or the word? Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 03:20 AM
3

Ewwwwwww! Good to know important buzz words as red flags. Ew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 02:57 AM
3

Yep. People love labels and boxes and stereotypes that hold true. (For their per brains)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 07:42 PM
4

I hate when people have this idea that being angry over things that SHOULD make some one angry is bad for healing. Or "negative". No. That is false. Being angry about angering things is really freaking healthy. I think the term scotes is hilarious. Has she heard the terms men freely use to describe women? All the time? I'm one the kindest people you'll ever meet but I'm learning it's ok to have healthy boundaries. And I'm learning that yes ITS OK TO BE MAD. Me being angry helps me not bend over …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 07:38 PM
3

Agreed. False dichotomy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 07:33 PM
6

Lol that "weird mix" she describes is that we do not want to be used for sex. But also hold men accountable for being crappy. I see no strange mix that makes perfect sense to me. Fds is the only place where I feel like its ok to speak the truth about how it is dating and how unfair things often are. I would love to go out there and have lots of sex, I just do not want to be doing it with some one who doesnt care about me or sees me an object. The emotional damage of that is not worth the sex. Du…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 07:27 PM
12

Yea it's a bummer. Some guys are really into the hair. It's a check box. You get all the fire crotch jokes. I had a guy who really liked it, and when he was drunk something about my "beautiful pale skin" slipped out in a low creepy whispery way as though he was talking to himself. I'm not even the erm.... not sure how to say this "porcelain" kind of red head. But it goes with the stereotype so it was on his mind? That was a huge red flag. I just.... ew. I used to like the attention I got for the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 07:13 PM
12

I agree. That term is ridiculous. Most women I know only enjoy sex if they love the person. There are terms for everything theese days to explain normal healthy behavior that shouldn't have a label. Having high levels of empathy for example. People treat it like it's a disorder or a magical power. It's just normal and healthy. I wish we could stop doing this. Demisexual.... dear lord
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 06:47 PM
1

Right, because then maybe that's all hes in it for
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 05:54 PM
28

I simply didnt believe that people would be ok pretending to care about you just to get sex. I mean yes creepy guys, would, but the guy in the friend group everyone swears up and down is a "good guy"? The well educated, well dressed, friendly guy who never says cringy things? Its so sad I just refused to believe it was most men. And I didnt understand that if they could they would and that it would be my fault for "letting them" not their fault for misleading me. I didn't understand that they pr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 05:46 PM
1

Bummer!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 03:34 PM
20

A guy who opens to YOU about his life story way too fast. It's to get you feel a false connection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 03:19 PM
2

What a f#@@$% waste of the entire beautiful person you are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 04:14 AM
16

This is scary. This is why even a proposal doesn't mean they love they you. That's why keeping your standards high Iis so important from the get go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 10:17 PM
3

I'm so proud of you! That pain will go away trust me :) you're about to be walking on the clouds, but give yourself time to heal!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 07:36 PM
14

So sorry. Wow. You were in an unfair abusive situation. I'm shocked you're in the process of getting out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 07:35 PM
3

Please
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 07:30 PM
3

Ugh. So sad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 07:26 PM
6

Yes. Exactly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 07:18 PM
16

Yea. I need an explanation of what his "wants and needs he was pushing." If she cant have the kind of sex shes comfortable with she may never want to initiate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 07:15 PM
11

Omg he got DESTROYED
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 07:00 PM
7

Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 06:57 PM
10

You'd be surprised l. Some men just value male friendships as actual friendships and just use women and feel no connection. It's sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 06:56 PM
8

Yea. Wow. Yea. Just. Wow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 06:55 PM
21

So the number of men I slept with is an indication of my ability to remain faithful? My worth as a human? I think one of the main reasons it was important to me to sleep around after my first break up was because it always upset me so much that my boyfriend put so much importance on the fact that I had been a virgin when I met him. It was as though I had more value because I had less experience than him and was "innocent". Lmao. Interesting how sex is pure if it's with just them, but if it's wit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 06:35 PM
6

Ugh this was hard watch but I watched it till the end. Me and her have experienced the same f boy bullshit. It's just kind of intense to hear some one be logical and vulnerable about it at the same time. It's like fds realizations. This is our REALITY. You have to raise the bar for men. They Perceive value based on your perception of how off limits you are for sex. I'm just going to raise my bar ridiculously high from now on. Seriously. I dare anyone to try and vault it 😂. The fire works versus …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 06:18 PM
4

Well really it just shows how pathetic HE is to pull something like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 05:40 PM
10

Even if you do it right it can cause potential harm in the long run. Hemmeroids ect. It's the strain on the area in ways its not "built for". No pleasure center up there anyways. Yea I've tried it. So I'm not just assuming. It was a guy I'd been dating for years we tried everything. It was really meh. The entire thing was carefully trying to get it to work. It left me with hemmeroids many years later after I had stopped. It didnt ruin my life but dang, I'm too young for that. I get to keep those…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 03:39 PM
8

Even if you do it right it can cause potential harm in the long run. Hemmeroids ect. It's the strain on it in ways its not "built for". No pleasure center up there anyways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 03:32 PM
1

This is a way to get "cool" girls to compete with each on how little they can demand of this guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 12:29 AM
29

I think pick me knows no wings lol. Edit (right or left or moderate) . Just like lvm can have any leaning. I think it's just (pick me and existing) sadly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 10:50 PM
9

Dont be afraid we're here to help! I think your comment about him being too comfortable... you're right. Hes afraid to lose you but also not willing to take the steps to ensure that you stay. So hes not THAT afraid. He seems like he wants to hold onto while keeping his options open. You are a queen, not an option he should struggle with. If I were you I would say that you're uncomfortable with the relationship being open ended and that you are going to move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 10:01 PM
12

Lmao mystery solved...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 09:37 PM
9

So sad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 09:29 PM
11

They can magicly handle it with other dudes some how lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 09:29 PM
37

Omg. This is so cruel. He told all the groomsmen! He told HIS BRIDE!? Hey, sweety I know you're self conscience about being ugly, and I can totally see why especially next to my flawless sister, who is MY standard for what beauty is, interestingly you look NOTHING LIKE my standard of beauty or anyone else's obviously. Dont worry though I've embarrassed you by asking her tone down her unbelievable brilliance so your dull homely self has half a chance at looking ok. I told everyone else too, you k…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 08:52 PM
12

Dear lord...."cute girls" might have chance... omg
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 08:43 PM
9

Wait I'm confused- was all the stuff at the top a joke? Was he trying to parody how much it sucks being a girl on old?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 08:40 PM
2

Oh my goodness he's such a hypocrite. She lost weight? Seems like she's agreeing with everything he says? So... he beat her down emotionally till she's a shell of her former self. So now shes not as fun. So his solution is to get a new sparkly unabused girlfriend. Is he a narcissist? If you are friends with her you absolutely should voice you concerns. When a person has dealt with alot of gaslighting and emotional abuse you dont know what's normal anymore because you've been trained to question …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 05:19 PM
22

Guys are weird like that. Yea I'm with you. I think what they want to do is try to figure out how to pretend to be what your looking for or win you over before you know their stance and leave. ALSO the reason it might be "creepy" to them is because they aren't looking for something serious. Then it would sound presumptuous. However, if that is the purpose of you going on dates, to find a partner, then it's not presumptuous of you to bring up. So if a guy is uncomfortable that you're weeding out …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 11:08 PM
20

If I ever get to point where I go on dates again I think I'll bring it up during the first couple dates. I'm 28 so it wouldnt be a weird thing to bring up at all. I dated a guy 9 years and us wanting a different future is what ultimately broke us up. I should have left for other reasons way earlier but for sure be up front about it. It's a really easy weed out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 10:55 PM
5

They do not. Not at all. But enough do that the ones who do can make excuses that its "normal". Non of the men I work with cheat. Any man I've continued being friends with due to friend groups does not. Alot of them still looking for a soul mate actually. Hard for them to cheat when single. No they for sure do not. I think thier level of self love has waaaaay lower to do with it than sexual urges. The ones who have more foresight find it easy to forgo cheating because they are building a life wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 10:42 PM
5

I once said something along the lines "they need us more than we need them" and boom dm from angry man. There's a whole other sub for fds super fans where they discuss it so we dont have tons of non dating posts here. That's what I gathered anyways
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 10:27 PM
14

Yea so hes a sociopath or a narcissist or something. I dont want to blow up her inbox with even more but I want to help :( that's terrible. He lead her into the position she is through lying and is now trying to trap her in an abusive relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 08:04 PM
6

Yup!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 07:56 PM
52

35? 45?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 07:24 PM
40

This ruined my day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 07:06 PM
7

I understand the sentiment I'm just sad. I had so many bad experiences with Fwb, that I ended up here. If Fwb had been great and fulfilling and lead to me finding a HVM some how I would not be here at all. If a super model gymnast was only town one night and we hooked up and said good bye today I'd probably be fine with it. WITH A CONDOM. But that's not even a Fwb situation. That's a one night stand. Those also carry lots of risks. I championed Fwb while I was doing it alot. Defended against all…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 01:47 PM
13

I'm sorry I couldn't get past the "I kept having to dump him. After every date I had to dump him again." And I got confused. But I totally agree with what you're saying about "famous" guys not being special. Sometimes they're the most insecure. Frankly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 06:25 AM
1

Nope. Not harsh at all. You took the politics out if it actually. Just made your case. Love it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 06:18 AM
3

This is based on me remembering childhood and watching my parents interact with each other and others not me being a parent. Being a good example! Be calm and rational. Kids absorb everything. Being your wise self and having proper boundaries and expecting other adults to adhere to those boundaries ect. It's hard to explain. Advice is good, but seeing how your parent actually reacts to other adults or your direct siblings is where the learning goes on. You wanting to protect them by removing the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 06:15 AM
3

You can have a long term relationship without sharing finances and houses and things. None of that is implied. I'm hoping some guy will understand I want to live in my own apartment and keep separate bank accounts. Even if we get married I'd want to keep most things separate. A pooling of resources helps when you are raising children. Other than that there is literally no point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 05:58 AM
28

I've regretted every single one. To quote ... idk superhero guy "you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain" I was either heart broken over a mega attractive douche who's personality did NOT mesh with mine, but sex made me feel intimate and attached. OR (and honestly worse for my psyche) I was dragging along some poor chump who thought things were going somewhere. Why wouldn't he? Fwb situations are an in between stage right before you end up in pain or some one…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 05:39 AM
5

AGREED thanks for saying
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 12:35 AM
0

Child care can be super expensive. Alot of people make the financial description to have a parent stay at home so they can get possibly 200,000 dollars of free labor. You absolutely should have your own source if income if you're worried about it. You will have to plan together to make sure kids are taken care of and share all the work. When two spouses work they sometimes take turns making dinner, solit of the "running of the household" type tasks. You really have to be team. I hope he can do t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 08:00 PM
7

Yea. I feel like if dont intend to be a sham you discuss this ahead of time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 07:19 PM
11

Both are possibly true. In my experience men are very jealous! Like has anyone ever tried I IRL? I bet the guys saying they would "be fine with it" dont have girlfriend, or have ones that would never do that even if offered and they know this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 02:46 PM
30

Exactly... no one EVER brings in the double standard in theese posts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 01:15 PM
17

Anytime a man has been super charming or groomed he did it solely because he was f boy with game. The older I get the more "charm" and "witty banter" tajeca back seat fir what I would like to call "earnest enthusiasm" about spending time with me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 01:13 PM
86

I mean only cried a tiny bit. I know this guy :) this (type) he has a lovely family. Hexus humble, treats her like a lady. There are people in this world who exploit faith to be crappy, or who hold extreme views that dont really help with self betterment. And I know This isnt trendy to say but they're catholic. They have really humble solid values, never partied but have good wholesome fun, grill outs. Theyd have a few beers around a fire. Thry Knew that family was thier goal. Him. And the woman…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 01:04 PM
17

The entire point of her and the guy is the parody the f boy pickmeshia thing. Then she improves herself and her life and ends up with a hvm. But she has to get herself together first before she us ready to get together with the "good man". Idk alot of hits home for me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 04:29 AM
25

EXACTLY. The worst of it is that because it is objective, but men insist on a scale, everyone is imperfect to them because even if they meet a "10" in their minds thier idiot friend brett is all "ew no where's the butt?" Meanwhile he didnt even care about that. Now he wonders if he should? . I think the scale is actually so they can make sure they look good in front of other men maybe? Like they all look around and converse before deciding who's a 10 to make sure it's ok. I bet men have dumped w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 12:59 AM
24

Manumative people always project their own tactics onto others. It's so frustrating. They can be clearly in the wrong and turn it into your fault. Sorry you dealt with that crap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 10:12 PM
24

This is so good. Why is this such a thing? I mean I know why. But it's so stupid. They can only fill their insecurities by getting those little "wanted" points, and screwing up other people's lives. You need to be sad in their absence for them to feel important. Playground bullies are so much more obvious and clear in theese matters. In grade school you're told, bullies just need put you down to feel good about themselves. But this is more convoluted because they are viewing your distress over s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 09:57 PM
30

Take a dateing break! On purpose! Healing from trauma after abuse takes 24 months... at the least. And trauma therapy such as edmr. Focus on yourself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 03:22 AM
10

Yup.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 03:16 AM
22

A trauma bond yep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 03:11 AM
24

I think that true romantic love is possible but I genuinely am not going to wait around for it. I used to think it was waiting around ever corner, some where inside every douche bag 😂 but alas. I've come to understand that it more rare and that I dont need it. I'm fine doing my own thing. It's scary to think some one could take that away who isn't going to provide me with proper love and affection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 03:08 AM
26

Always like the translations!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 03:04 AM
2

A hvm can absolutely meet your looks criteria. I am firmly holding out for my fit man who likes the lift but isnt a douche. Lmao. This will take a few years to find. Good! It will give me a few years to keep leveling up myself. I live the macho guys the beards. Lvm exist with manicured hands and great fashion also. Basically lvm are everywhere. It's a character thing not a looks thing. It takes maybe a bit more vetting and being careful but its possible. Never date a guy you're not attracted to!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 12:58 AM
8

Based on how things have gone for me I say wait... he should give you a firm time and date or activity. When ever a guy has said "sometime" to me without even giving a hint as to when or suggesting a next activity it meant "never," hope others comment tho too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 12:54 AM
11

Lol I saw this earlier today luckily the comments where very much like ours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 12:42 AM
8

Ah yep! I see it now
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 10:40 PM
12

Ok, I figured but it makes more sense when you say it like that. He was taking her for granted
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 08:41 PM
14

Hm. Im assuming there's no sex. It sounds like an emotional relationship. But thats just my assumption. Hes feeling uncomfortable that's shes going on dates with other people as they have a standing date. How to fix this? Is he waiting for her to commit? Did she make it clear shes not yet ready? Because the solution of feeling like he wants her around more permanently would be to commit. If shes not ready that means it will end if he cant wait. I hope more people comment. I am still getting a ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 08:18 PM
9

Ugh that's annoying. Maybe just dont respond. Or point out he said he would and you already agreed, so why is he asking? This type of thing is weird. If he said he would ring you tonight he should ring you tonight. Dont sweat it. Msybe dont respond at all and let him decide to call. You already agreed!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 08:08 PM
17

Promiscuous... lmao dont even get me started on that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 08:04 PM
3

Yup. Good realization!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 01:40 PM
5

Yep. Yes yes yes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 01:32 PM
1

That is really creepy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 01:23 PM
18

Its not about looks. May. Men consider me very attractive and not a one has wanted to date me or love me. All lessons I learned too late but love yourself first. Get everything right with you first. What dream life do you want? Without a man. I mean where do you want to live? What do your weekends look like? If every good thing that pops into your head has to do with a man being in love with you, you need to find goals and hobbies for yourself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 06:00 AM
2

So what he did is referred to as the silent treatment. It's not ok. At all. Block everywhere. There's nothing wrong with you its him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 05:52 AM
5

This is why it's so frustrating and impossible to have enjoyable Fwb with men. They have to be messing with you, getting you to chase after them ect. Because its not really about the sex. If it was about the sex they would set standing sex dates you could rely on lol. That's just not it. Its.... mindblowing frustrating. This is why they aren't allowed to sleep with me anymore. I kept trying to find a friend, love, or simply a lay. All they ever wanted was control over my emotions. If men rely en…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 05:48 AM
7

Yea :( had a long chat with my mom tonight. They're going to stick together. Shes happy about where she's at. He's now catering to her. But she cant ever get the first 30 years of marriage back. Its just... gone. She has her family. It's the most important thing to her. Shes always put her hobbies first. But still. Rough. Glad he improved. Also wish I could go back in time and tell her to not take on that project. But then I wouldn't exist, blag blah. She gives good dating advice though!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 05:15 AM
9

He missed his chance with her. He might have gotten better, but it's too late.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 05:13 AM
4

I've had this happen twice. Both times I got ghosted. He doesn't care. :( it drive me crazy at first wondering evy the sudden change in person? Inconsistency = bull shit. EVERY TIME.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 04:56 AM
5

Yeaaaaaa my first thought
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 04:48 AM
8

No. Not at all. But maybe I'm thinking of two different things here. I've know one that did... and wow that'a a whole thing. In my experience Not most. I've dealt with really crappy guys who had nothing of the sort. A predatory state is usually a sign of a person with a personality disorder. If you feel you're surrounded by that, it is not good. I've had guys check me out in non psychotic plain old gross ways And look away real fast embarrassed. One man ever gave me the hard state down and he tu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 04:42 AM
6

Preach!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 04:32 AM
34

Yea.... like my parents. My dad has improved quite a bit. But dang. Idk. I'm close with them both. Having daughters actually changed his views about women. He's improved as a person, thanks to family and her. But .... dang. Still married. He's not a dead beat, quite way too much the opposite. Type a overachiever always bit insecure. but regardless, she did not get the tenderness and love expressed to her that she deserved. He's 60 and now trying to get better. She understandably is not super war…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 11:53 PM
9

Ahhhhhh. Lovely!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 11:20 PM
107

Yes. Wow I'm impressed really. We need more of this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 11:13 PM
13

I agree. And then the man would says its petty. And she could go "no I truly need those images to help my sex life"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 11:09 PM
14

Wow. There goes the biological argument that literally every man has used on me. Thank you I needed this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 11:06 PM
41

😳😂 nice !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 10:57 PM
20

Exactly. Dammed if you do and dammed if you dont at every turn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 10:40 PM
72

WOW I'm sorry that's absolutely terrible. Good for you getting far far away from that abusive situation. I hope he's doesn't have kids for the sake of the kids. An extremely hypocritical abusivr Christian male, hiding in his community, would equal abused unhappy children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 10:31 PM
28

Agreed. Never got all the hype.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 10:30 PM
37

Ooo what did he say!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 10:29 PM
13

Yea, the trick for me is learning what blatantly like earm means before it's been too long and hurts me. That's why fds is so good! Its that strict right off the bat "wait you had the set up the first date and initiate? No too late leave." Lol I needed that soooooo bad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 04:13 PM
2

There perfect!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 04:09 PM
2

Same! I had the same exact issue. I only had "soft skills" and I hated it. Why couldn't I just be an accountant and not worry about stability? All my "job fit personality tests" pegged me as a puppeteer. Or a gym teacher. I got graphic designer once. I used to think that because I was bad at math and science I would have to take a job that didnt pay well. This is false information. Its just flat wrong. The thing is, there are technical jobs that still require creativity if you have an open mind.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 04:02 PM
2

Yes of course! Im sure you can have fun with this I was just musing on the light party thing. Now I'm picturing you in all black and it's a whole different visual haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 03:42 PM
3

Edit: saw your edit congratulations!!! You go girl! Yes block. There is NOTHING weak about protecting yourself from emotional abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 03:30 AM
2

I know some very hv military men. They are my male cousins. I think you have to vet very carefully though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 03:24 AM
8

Haha too bad there's not a green that indicates "I'm single but this is not an open invitation for you to sleep with me" idk what color I would wear at this point. I'd honestly wear red. But I'm older lol. I suppose you want the guys to know it's ok the talk to you. I like your idea of black jeans and green top, that way you're not like allllllllll green. Sounds nice, casual, and not a super pick me all green mini dress. I think guys might view the colors simply as "cant bang (red), could bang, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 03:10 AM
3

I had no idea what I wanted but worked for a while at office jobs. Low level, but had a degree. I've always been a creative people person so it was HARD for me to have path that would result in high pay. I just kept saying yes to jobs I thought I could learn. Every level up on my resume made new hr people figure I could handle the learning required for the next thing. My people skills I put to use by being a good team player in the office, rather than for a sales or marketing job. I'm now workin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 03:05 AM
5

PTSD. Well. I am recovering from that due to a sociopathic ex of my own. For me it didnt interfere with my personal relationships. I would have personal break downs, anxiety attacks. It didnt change my behavior towards others, other than to have better boundaries for myself. But if the way he made a joke reminded you of a sociopath you once knew then for sure you did the right thing! That's the part I keyed in on. Listen to your gut. Good job.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 02:54 AM
52

.... ok people using the term "dark psychological tactics" openly wtf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 02:43 AM
16

😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 02:40 AM
38

Oh sweety :( I'm so sorry you went through that. Thats devistating. You have had to mature quickly. Meaningful growth is always painful. I'm so happy you made it here! I was pulled up here by a queen angle from r/narcissist abuse. I've healed from the trauma but kept hanging around there still feeling sad in life. Got here and had to do alot of reading. This place is great. I dont feel crazy anymore for feeling like so many things are "unjust" in the dateing world or for woman in general. I'm no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 12:00 AM
4

Yuuuuuuuus
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 08:10 PM
10

Ok so he says: Yes I'm an asshole and a piece of shit when it comes to relationships but I know how to "treat a womam" . So first of all he's point blank saying that women should be treated terribly. How I bet he "treats a woman" (translation) I'll pay for a medium priced dinner and expect we have sex and then pull out all my best "sex" moves, but only the first three times after that I get complacent and bored. Also will probably ghost you but continue leaving lack luster bread crumbs for month…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 08:05 PM
12

You need to go to a trauma therapist. Edmr was a treatment she suggested after hearing about my symptoms. You might have a therapist who is able to suggest lots of things based on your treatment plan. But when you search for therapist specifically look for trauma therapists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 04:40 PM
1

So. Are you trying to get back with your ex because he's rich now? All your dateing choices here seem to be about avoiding fear of debt. Maybe he blocked you after the break up because he was hurt and trying to move on. Thats totally valid. Does high value only mean money to you? I think there may be more deeper meanings um, woven in there some where. I applaud you for being a nurse that job has lots of upward mobility. You can be a nurse manager, director of nursing, go into EMR training ect. Y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 09:54 PM
7

Well I think the main thing is that an hvm respects the boundaries you set for them. Dont look at isolated incidents look at patterns of behavior. I had a boyfriend who cooked for me, was in shape, had big dreams, put effort into gifts time and dates for me. but also a fair amount of lvm qualities, such as going on "dates" with female friends, constantly having "issues" with female friends falling for him, due his behavior. It's alot of explaining I wont go into. The point is, the first few year…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 09:46 PM
11

Isnt into fitness. Wants lots of kids. Wants lots of pets and farms and stuff. Wants to live in the country. Does not like having a social life. Dose not like going to concerts. Does not like going out to eat. I used to make my OLD profiles super geared to weed out all theese things. Like me at a rave wearing black lipstick. Me running a 5k. Me doing things in cities. Me doing yoga. But The only men interested in something serious just flat out didnt like any of the things I did. Wanted a family…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 09:18 PM
67

Yes. If you want to test the theory about a guy who is "confusing you". I suggest asking them to commit. Point blank. Dont put words in their mouth just ask without leaving them any avenues to hedge the question. They say no. Boom. You're no longer on the hook. I was frustrated bring ok the hook with two guys I liked. Asked them both out even though I knew they "didn't like me that way" but my brain kept holding out hope. So I crushed the hope. A little embarrassing for me. I cried a bit. But co…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 08:26 PM
14

Omg this is why we cant have nice things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 04:41 PM
19

I love beards hahahaha but I like them groomed and clean. I very much like facial hair and brow ridges and big shoulders. My body made that choice not me 😂. For ME a huge turn off is FLAT BILLED HATS. Like ok so you're literally broadcasting that you're a douche. Thanks for the warning bro. Especially if that flat bill is paired with a tank top. That's my red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 08:10 AM
5

This is a nice contrast to all the, dare I say it, all the pickmeshia anthems that make up most of music.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 08:07 AM
29

Yup. The double standard is mind blowing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 07:03 AM
26

Yea 🤬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 07:03 AM
3

😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 07:01 AM
75

😂 funny because it's TRUE. Blows my mind. Logic exists. Men call women fickle when they are rational and then are actually more fickle than any woman would ever dare to be, in broad daylight, with the the acceptance of their peers. The double standard. Is. Mind blowing. The word "fickle" has been used to describe women for a long time. Usually referring to women with valid concerns. But a man can literally hold two opposing views about a woman depending specificly on the moment and the mood he i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 06:56 AM
35

Thank you! I came here because I finally had enough experiences to get "woke". I'm sick of being treated the way I was and I'm not going back. To understand that "high value" was not about looks or money but about CHARACTER of a man or person was huge for me. I assumed most men aside from sociopaths had strong character that would apply to dateing. I was extremely wrong. I appreciate when people help give me constructive criticism and advice here. The dialogue is soooooo open compared to other s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 12:22 AM
5

Oh my goodness.... he sounds like some one who needs to have their number blocked and all their social media blocked. That way you wont but see him "trying to get your hopes up" "seeming like he cares" because it will all be impossible to see when his ass is blocked. You care. He doesn't. That kind if power imbalance can be .... near fatal. I say give him one good bye (if even that). Based on my own experience if you do say goodbye make it very short, to the point, and void of emotion. If you sp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 06:47 PM
3

Lmao yes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 06:41 PM
2

Yes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 06:40 PM
2

Hahaha welp. Youre not wrong. I dont know what to say. I cant disagree with you on this. I think I understand more where you're coming from on this though now. Makes more sense
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 05:59 PM
3

Ok I guess I get that to a degree. You know this guy better than i do. If they're all void of feelings then envy are you bothering to date the other guys you like more?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 04:06 PM
10

Yea... I think if you're able to empathize with other people you're not comfortable manipulating some one for their feelings. Period. It's not a gender thing it's a character thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 03:37 PM
10

Oh. So then you use him for his feelings, on purpose? Ok. I guess guess that's the caveat for me. I couldnt do it because I've been hurt and lead on before by men. but in order to make something like this work you'd have to disregard the feelings of the other person. It seems like that won't really be an issue for you. Plus given the situation you might not have to worry about it. The dude might not care at all. It is however my caveat. Anytime any man has bothered to have standing time for me a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 01:55 PM
2

Men can feel empathy. They would all have very serious personality disorders if they could not. Some men and women do truly lack empathy. They are clinically disordered and sometimes very dangerous. Theese are the people who abuse others to the brink of suicide while feeling pleased about it, and murder people with a smile on. Empathy is a big deal and not gender defined. A man can have the cognitive tools to empathize, as healthy minded people do, and still be an asshole. Being selfish and bad …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 06:40 AM
3

If they pull the rug out they are not an hvm. But an lvm can certainly pretend to care about to get what they want. That doesn't make them an hvm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 05:52 AM
18

Of course! Sex is great. And it may be possible. Unfortunately so many of them aren't looking for respectful casual sex but to fill a hole in their ego. Very frustrating!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 05:47 AM
5

So... what if he gets feelings or if you do? Like, if he does do you just call it quits? My only "purely beneficial " fwb situation was with a guy who it turned out had very strong feelings for me and it was terrible and a weird break up happened and I feel terrible. The only time a guy has been an ideal Fwb was because he cared about me enough to be around and do all those nice things to benefit me. He was handsome but I just never could see him as a love interest for some reason. Also, not the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 05:41 AM
13

Yup. The only comparison I have is the only other sociopath I've ever known. Exact. Same. Predatory. Tiny pupil. Dead faceless expression. Contracting and widening pupils has been scientifically proven as a sign of empathy in a person. Thry dont stay huge all the time but they adjust slightly, take in more than just light. A sociopath will stare dead faced at you with tiny pupils like that and dead expression while awkwardly trying to mimic real human emotions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 05:33 AM
26

That's the problem. They need it to be terrible for you or it's not fair to them. I'm honestly starting to that Fwb is about control and ego more than the actual sex. For them. So frustrating. This is why we cant have nice things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 05:07 AM
5

Omg she "wont leave?" Really. The only life style that will work for him is a wife and mistress because clearly she wont leave. Bull. Shit. Let her leave and fund some one who actually loves her. Sick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 05:00 AM
9

I think that's why they so often in my experience, petsue hard, then pull back. It's like a weird bare tactic. It's also the only way to get women to pursue at all in a way.. you have to be duped into it with fake interest. If it is so natural for them then why does it seem so important to their self esteem that they get persued? I'm not saying its good, its mind blowingly frustrating
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 04:57 AM
1

Oooo I'll have to watch!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 10:27 PM
8

Seriously why is this still a thing it's not real!? But 15 year old me didnt know that. 20 year old me was starting to figure it out. 28 year old me is livid that all those ideas are so accepted and swayed my thinking. Yes I can think on my own, but It's like societal gaslighting. "Its not because he's a crappy person its because you just weren't special enough to magically poof him into a man with morality, honor, and the ability to bond emotionally with a woman rather than use her for things."…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 10:25 PM
5

Oh yes- but I'm thinking more like, rom coms, modern, romance novels, every pop song ever :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 08:36 PM
26

It's really bad actually. Due to this trope, I thought it was normal and ideal to "tame the bad boy" when in reality everything I wanted from those lvms wasn't possible. You find a man who's already high value. Ohhhhh. Literally no romance tropes about it because the story would so pleasant and short. It's a terrible terrible trope that literally exists to cause enough conflict to make a story interesting. You know what stories work with HVM? The stories where a couples faces adversity TOGETHER …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 07:31 PM
5

Yea that can happen for sure! That's actually good. The upside of getting attached without sex for me is that I don't feel as though I've gotten used on top of it. Mutual respect and a much easier parting of ways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 04:18 AM
10

It's not to get them to commit, it's to ensure that they care about you before you give them the opportunity to use you. If they really just want sex they will leave. If they care about you they will be happy to get to know you and court you. Maybe they realize through this process that they really aren't that into you, or you them. Thats fine. I dont know if I'm wording that all correctly but it's to weed out the users and even more importantly helps you keep a clear head and think about weathe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 03:53 AM
8

Pretty much! I put some tnt on those bridges haha. Now I cant even go back and say hi in a weak moment
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 06:05 AM
19

I see. That sounds like exactly the place I would like to be. I'll get there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 06:03 AM
43

Short answer: I'm not that mature yet. I just couldnt leave it alone and needed to say something. Long answer, I think I wanted them to know I was mad. I wanted them to know that I wasn't "chill" and fine with everything. I didn't want to be the cool girl. I think I wanted them to feel uncomfortable. I wanted it to be uncomfortable. I'm some one who's always smoothing things over and making it "easy" and convenient for people to treat me poorly. I guess at the expense of giving them too much inf…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 05:48 AM
14

Yes keep it up! It's so sad that dating is dangerous and traumatic. I've learned all this stuff way later in life than you. You got this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 05:16 AM
37

I feel this 😪
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 03:03 AM
9

Same. Even had a friend warn me "you're um... donr take this the wrong way but youre too good for him" he was don Juan. I wanted a sexy sexual experience. Instead I had first experience getting destroyed by a sociopath. My reason? I was horny for him. I've learned my lesson. 2 years of healing down and a few more to go I'm sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 03:02 AM
35

I feel like there is much more to the "other woman" we're not hearing about. Shes a crazy ex. Ok fine. But you know what? She keeps having to find out through the grape vine that the "love of her life" has moved on rather than from him in person. A very stable person would still be upset about this and it would be valid. I've found out that people had moved on due to it leaking on social media rather than them telling me in person. It sucks. You feel lead on. Lied to. And you are now completely …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 06:12 PM
19

YES! I'm single and I have to fight my urges to run out and start a weird uncomfortable fling with any lvm available. It literally Haha to slap my own as I reach for the phone. But then I get go sleep easy at night knowing I'm not being lead on it leading anyone else on. I'm weaning off a drug honestly. My dopamine can come from within me not from the approval of a man. That intense lonely feeling that floods me is not due to me not having friends. It's about love. But I cant figure out what abo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 04:03 PM
7

Lmao why ? Like why? You get NOTHING in return except then to be expected to do even more thanklessly. You actually have to make rise to your standards. And then some of them do. Am I the only one who instinctively pictured her man as really ugly? And then he cheats anyways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 03:46 PM
4

Dont let that intimidate you! If he does give you the feeling he's "slummin" then he's a LVM. A truly classy person can appreciate others difference and respect those differences!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 04:51 AM
3

I partied ALL THE TIME in college with my group of good friends. Never went to one frat party. Was helped and helped by many men and women. But was very frustrated with lots of sexist lvms who seemed incapable of valuing women as friends in the general populace. It was better than highschool, but it gets slightly better after college as well. And by "better" I mean, men start to get better at hiding their sexism. Always be careful. You're so ahead of the game by not feeling the need to gratify l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 04:47 AM
1

Some of my favorite female friends and great couples love anime. Coincidently the only two confirmed narcissists/sociopaths I've ever met loved anime. Because of it I am wary of guys who like it but it EXTREMELY depends on how they talk about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 04:40 AM
5

I too graduated from r/narcissisticabuse to fds 😂 it really felt like the next phase of life has begun for me. I've healed well from emotional abuse and trauma, but now what ? I had gotten so good at dealing with narcissistic trauma I forgot to watch out for all the other kinds of friends or lovers who can use you. Learning that a "good guy" who is not complete psychopath can still treat you like trash was a confusing bumpy road for me. I'm ready to be cared about now and ready to wait firmly fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 04:37 AM
3

It's normal for empathetic people to want to empathize. It's ok. And me and you are different. And different things work for different people, but I'll tell you what I do. I try feeling bad for his former and future victim instead. Anytime I start feeling bad for this sociopath I had a thing with I stop and go "wait, he's still out there somewhere. ... he has a new victim who is suffering who I cant save, and n addition many furtre victims he will abuse. I'm going to always think of them and the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 04:24 AM
7

Please yes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 09:54 PM
8

Ok this is exactly what this poor girl needs to hear. Your body going no! Listen to it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 09:54 PM
3

Yuuuuup. Regardless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 09:32 PM
6

He is TERRIBLE and pathetic. You got this girl!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 01:19 PM
1

Same. I'm on track for it all... for 3 years of work and I'll ne 30 by the time it happens
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 03:03 AM
54

Being educated and being intelligent are not one and the same. In fact... some highly educated people with great vocabularies can say some really stupid things. You know what you cant fake? Being a genuinely good person. Critical thinking skills. Critical thinking skills and a sense of humor signal more intelligence to me than anything else. Now if you're wanting to discuss specific literature with some one who hasn't read the books you've read, that's just a matter of finding friends who've rea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 02:58 AM
36

Shes right. Block on EVERYTHING. HE IS NOT EXPECTING YOU to be that strong. Do not say good bye or explain. Get your things and block EH-VER-WHERE yes even stop following his spotify playlist. And proof! He no longer exists in your world. You will have a period that will be rough but because you've blocked you will never get sucked in and soon will forget him. Your silence says more than any words will say. He can't say anything that will make up for his betrayal. Men are shocked by being ignore…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 02:45 AM
43

Yea for real. Why is this!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 02:36 AM
127

😂 omg. Dead again. Like- for what?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 02:27 AM
37

😂omg dead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 02:26 AM
20

I dated a guy like this. It was very important for his ego to believe that women were chasing after him. I was quite a catch. He would always talk marriage with me in college. Always having girls he was just friends with unexpecibly falling in love with him and iT wASnt HIs FAult! He lied to himself and me and left me feeling constantly confused and feeling helpless. I Didnt want to be controlling with him and not allow female friendships but every single one was mysteriously a huge problem at s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 09:57 PM
6

Yup. He's as already working to lower your expectations. Next!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 08:05 PM
3

Anne Klein honestly. High powered businesses clothes they are tailored to a feminine figure. And easily can be work in evenings if you accessorize correctly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 04:23 AM
16

Yes!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 04:15 AM
7

This is it. Yup.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 04:08 AM
1

So an abusive person will always be abusive. Th err y dobt suddenly implode into a person with empathy and a healthy mind. What does that mean? There was no way you would have ever gotten anything but abuse. Him seeming to be happy dating is him, happy hunting for new victims to abuse. You escaped and so he needs more. He will look for emotionally innocent people who have no idea and will get crushed, like I did. Trauma therapy, such as edmr is what helped me get fully out of the trauma bond. He…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 04:20 AM
1

You got this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 01:21 PM
2

This is a good reminder. Like I need to watch it before every date I ever go on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 05:03 AM
127

Woooo YES THATS AMAZING! I'm 28 and just now trying to stand up for myself. Confrontation is necessary sometimes. My job is not be a peace keeper but to keep my own peace of mind! So still working on it. I'm glad you called it out. Good for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 04:43 AM
4

You will take time but trust everyone here when they say no contact the way to go. You will grieve. Its terrible I'm so sorry that happened to you. No contact will not help the initial sting, but that initial sting happens no matter what. NC helps you continue to heal and move on after you have grieved. There is no apology he could say that would make up for his betrayal. And there is nothing you can say that will make him feel as guilty as he should or feel your suffering. Your silence however,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 04:06 AM
6

I appreciate this. Truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 03:44 AM
7

Omg that's funny
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 03:43 AM
5

Well. I am very frustrated as well. I for sure share your frustrations haha. I have yet to utilize fds standards whole dateing however. I'm on a dating break but hopefully will be able to use said standards soon
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 11:04 PM
2

What's an ons?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 10:56 PM
18

You have to leave because you're not getting what you want, or point blank ask him for what you want and leave him no choice but to bluntly tell you. Better now than later. If you ask and he goes "wow I don't know yet" you can gather that he never will know and the best thing to do is leave the situation. Every time I've asked a Fwb if they wanted to date I got a hard no. One laughed acidently as he was so surprised by my question. So then most recently my solution was to not ask and let myself …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 09:20 PM
5

I've found that it's best to keep distance. Me and a sweet girl helped each other get out of an abusive situation with the same guy. We will never be besties, because we both want desperately to move on. But we are always respecting each other from a distance. That's enough for me. I think its wonderful to be on good terms with her but no need to keep this event in the fore front of your mind all the time. He sounds very narcissistic... so sorry you had to deal with it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 03:55 PM
7

Oh it's TRUE. and I dont anymore
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 06:15 PM
17

Hell, why not just go all the way and bring him women to chose from? Why stop at cooking and cleaning, help replace yourself too! 🤦🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 06:06 PM
8

Wooooooo!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 05:55 PM
15

I feel the exact same way. Men only want to use me for sex. But It has nothing with looks in your case or in my case. You are young and so there are fewer men looking for something serious. But trust me, it's not you its them. You deserve something serious. They do not deserve your body without them giving you something serious. Never make the mistake I did (or make it again) and sleep with guys Who you know are only looking for sex and then fall for them because deep down you really want to be …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 05:49 PM
21

This is why it's not ok to keep someone on the hook as a "favor" 🙄 I feel like I've been with men who have been able to justify keeping onto back burner as a way to help me out? I'm learning how to next them on my terms first. Edit: what makes it worse of course is that they are actually just wasting my time where I could very looking gir some one who does care about me. That why this quote resonated with me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 05:41 PM
23

Well. Worded.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 09:39 AM
1

Idk know either Haha but that's what I read it surprised me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 12:18 AM
4

If your time with him was volital then it always well be. I was off and on with my first bf for 9 years. Wed break up once every 3 years.... until the last one where I just didnt go back. He had alot of seemingly good qualities... but.... was a lvm. He had alot of self esteem issues that ended up making my life miserable. He wasn't evil he was lv. It's now been two years I made the right choice. Just. Wont give details, but I did. there's proof in the life he's living now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 12:12 AM
5

Ok so I think OP meant examples HVM characters portrayed on television, not the actual celebrities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 12:03 AM
1

I heard their relationship ended due to him having drug problems
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 12:02 AM
15

I couldn't eat and had really bad anxiety when in contact with sociopathic "ex". While in the fog and having Stockholm syndrome or a trauma bond from the emotional abuse, I was excited so happy to be losing weight. Omg.... face palm. I have since healed and gone to therapy and reflected on every single warning sign I had and didn't understand. Here is my most embarrassing. Being around him would trigger my fight or flight response and I confused this with love. I kid you not. Terrified hypervent…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 11:07 PM
18

Double standards have been bothering me sense high school. You cant be a slut but the only way to be popular is the please the popular guys. But then if you do you're a slut. Some sluts turn into popular guy girlfriends, some are just a joke. I hated the way boyd talked about women. Even female teachers were outrageously objectified. if you,'re stupid enough to sleep with them you're kinda of a joke, and can be talked about demeaningly. But then all they do all day is try to get you to sleep wit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 01:43 PM
8

Wait omg what? Omg ..... WHAT!? WHAAAAAAAAT? NO ABUSE WOULD -OMG!!!!!!! everyone knows that abuse has nothing to do with how the abusive person is treated and everything to do with the fact that they enjoy abusing people. This is gaslighting, like just out in the open. Sbd saying that abuse it what some one deserved for as my reason!? That person needs to be banned from reddit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 10:26 PM
10

Ok so you were targeted for abuse. Its's not your fault. This is important because I was the most confident, pure, everyone loved me, what-ever b.s. and it didn't matter because I was targeted by a sociopath who wanted to take me down emotionally. And it worked. And I'm a mess. And now jan who treats the Vietnam veterans helps me with edmr to help with my ptsd symptoms so I can make it through a regular work day. You were targeted because you are amazing. Yes the healing takes a while. I have gr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 06:22 AM
6

Yea. Its me... lol yuuuuup sadness haha. Never again it's ok but o.m.g.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 06:10 AM
19

This is what I have heard from men who are platonic friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 05:08 AM
3

Well. Yea same haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 04:51 AM
3

Yes we are the same person lol. Maybe. The ever rare, confident strong empathetic people pleasing always campaigning for some invisible social chair (and by this, I mean you are a social organizer in a sense.) helping all your shy friends get out there super nice, super intimidating to men..... girl that guys maybe use as a bragging right? But then, the same guy that so excited to "bag a hottie" has to go put their heads in the sand because they cant keep pretending to be interesting? Psh idk. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 04:50 AM
3

Thank you - in going to think on all of this. I think the gym helps me release anger, however no matter what gains I make there will not help my core issues. It's TRUE. Something else is I need to prove to myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 04:17 AM
3

I see! Ok yes haha that makes more sense. In that sense I do have trouble. I do second guess myself. I do think I'm missing something but cant figure it out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 11:11 PM
3

I do love myself that's where I get really confused. I dont understand why they cabt see it and dont believe they ever will. Its about posturing? Like if I ignore a guy so he has to work for it he will percieve that as me having value. Idk. The nice bubbly version of myself I can share with my female friends is very valuable to them. Me being eager to spend time with them makes them love me more. That same nice bubbly self is what makes guys think I'm easy too eager. Its so sad like why bother. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 10:37 PM
6

Thanks for the response! Times are kind of dark I really appreciate it. For some reason its really important for me to know that a desirable man would find me relationship material. At this point I dont even want a relationship I just want to silence my ... well... self percieved nay sayers so I can go "see! I have value as a person you're just too stupid to see it." Then not actually have to date at all because I'm just done with it. So I have to give that I validation to myself some how.... it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 10:00 PM
8

Yup. Even if you are clearly great quality, more attractive than anyone they could pick up randomly. It has NOTHING to do with looks. As soon as you are fwb they put you firmly in a category. I was never invited to social things by any of theese people. It didn't matter that the first time that I "let them hit it" they were over the moon and acting like god had placed a gift before them. As soon as all was said and done thr first time, I was now "just for sex". I thought Fwb meant you got to hav…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 02:57 PM
14

WOOOOOOO! Yus
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 01:31 PM
23

Every time I've done this they want it on their terms. Even with all the emotions removed from it, they simply aren't available when you want them to be. Then what? You get a text at 2am and go running because they're finally available? Then they just dissapear one day or get a gf. Its kind of hard to have a fb who is never available to F. I have never had one available when I'm out , but always asking me when they are. It's a power struggle. To them what makes it fair, is that they call the sho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 04:27 AM
4

😂 I'm so happy I read this today. Thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 04:10 AM
2

Yea. Yea ok edit: I was seriously saying yea, yes ok. I meant nothing sarcastic by it. I dont know how else to respond. I truly appreciate the thoughtful comment I just dont know what to say other than agree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 09:06 PM
14

I'm just done. I just am so done. I dont have feelings to journal. I've read sociopath free. I've healed from a brief abusive relationship. Recently was rejected in 3 painful stages by normal healthy person who just handled things terribly. I've not once had some one want to date me or care about me. They just put in a category. "Oh you poor idiot, this was just sex I have no feelings for you" . I dont think its because I'm terrible. I have no idea why. I attract assholes. So no sex aloud. That …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 08:53 PM
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