Broke up with a cheating LVM but backsliding

purasangria · 2020-01-28T00:08:39+00:00

Sis, for your own emotional well-being, block and delete, on ALL social media.

Do not go back to him. Pull the plug, rip off the band-aid, go cold-turkey on this turkey. He put your health at risk with his trash dick, he's admitted that he's an addict, and you can't fix him.

You are not a hospital for broken men. He is broken. Go no contact.

If you feel like texting him, text a girlfriend instead.

AyemHerself · 2020-01-28T00:23:15+00:00

You don't really want him back. You want him to want you back. His cheating followed by the acceptance of the breakup are a double kick to your ego.

Your best course of action is to cut him off completely and forget he existed. He is no longer relevant to you or your worth.

I wouldn't be surprised if this was a manipulation tactic on his part to make you come crawling back. Addicts loooove to play the sympathy card (I'm a fuckup, I don't deserve forgiveness, blah blah) so you'll take pity and want to comfort them. If you lean codependent, it often works. Don't be surprised if after some time of radio silence he tries harder.

NoThisIs-Patrick · 2020-01-28T00:36:16+00:00

Don't go back.

I know exactly how you feel. But I went back four times before I learned he would always cheat. Please don't go back.

Think of how you feel right now. How hurt you feel. How seeing those texts felt like you got kicked right in the stomach. The world probably felt like it was spinning and had stopped all at the same time. You probably got tunnel vision as you stared at what you found. Right?

Imagine if you take him back and he cheats again. It will feel worse.

You can't understand why he did what he did because you are not that type of person. Just block and delete. Don't give him anymore satisfaction. People like him enjoy hurting their partners. It makes them feel valuable. It validates their existence.

If you go back you are asking for more hurt. I'm sorry.

Ms_Tilly · 2020-01-28T00:34:05+00:00

That was painful to read. I don't see how on earth you want anything else to do with him. You need to find some respect for yourself. He doesn't give a shit about you.

TalkBritishToMe · 2020-01-28T00:05:55+00:00

Go read Chump Lady. She will help you.

SextMex · 2020-01-27T23:58:20+00:00

he’s not asking for me back..

He's doing you a HUGE service. Trust me.

only person I want to talk to and the only person I want to comfort me

You cannot heal in the environment that hurt you. Remind yourself of this as often as possible.

I feel you. I really do. I had a very difficult breakup this summer with a LVM that disguised himself as high value for a long time. I wanted him back so bad. So badly that I crawled back to him a few weeks later, only to have my heart shattered again. I wallowed for months. I hurt for him. I made a fucking instagram account just so I could mope into the abyss for him.

This happened late June through early September. Now it's January and the sight of him disgusts me. I look back on my old posts and laugh at myself. But it takes time. You have got to remind yourself of your worth. Fuck his "addict behavior" bullshit excuses. He's just trash.

A lot of people will say to get over someone you must "get under" someone else. That is bullshit. Do not fall into the trap of rebounding. The type of man attracted to a woman who is hurting is predatory and will only cause you problems. You SHOULD distract yourself, but with things that lift you up: sign up for an art class. Hit the gym. Do some writing. Immerse yourself in friendships with strong women. Follow social media pages that uplift you (I suggest LaLaLaLetMeExplain on Instagram!).

You WILL get through this and you WILL be better for it.

ghygdryhchmmmmjj · 2020-01-28T04:06:50+00:00

You will take time but trust everyone here when they say no contact the way to go. You will grieve. Its terrible I'm so sorry that happened to you. No contact will not help the initial sting, but that initial sting happens no matter what. NC helps you continue to heal and move on after you have grieved. There is no apology he could say that would make up for his betrayal. And there is nothing you can say that will make him feel as guilty as he should or feel your suffering. Your silence however, your indefinite, deadly silence will say what no words could ever Express. I have to remind myself of this when I really want to unblock some one who recently hurt me and send nasty grams. My silence is the real message I want to send.

sugaredberry · 2020-01-28T01:44:17+00:00

It’s grief, and it’ll pass in a week or two. I would really just try and stay busy, white knuckle that heart in your throat feeling, it’ll pass. Block him! There are other people who will love you and be way cooler and funner than him. Please!

honestgoing · 2020-01-28T16:47:24+00:00

Go cold turkey. I've been cheated on and it sucks.

If you want to PM me as a substitute, or even just reply here, whenever you feel the urge to text him, just do it.

He's an asshole but you're above it. You are. You don't deserve to be cheated on - you deserve infinitely better than that. He doesn't deserve to hear from you.

It's a GOOD thing you found out. Imagine how much more this would have hurt if you had stayed longer?

It's hard to get over this and it will take a while. But it's the best thing for you to keep him out of your life.

randomgirlimok · 2020-01-28T03:07:51+00:00

Think about planning his murder instead.

Title	Broke up with a cheating LVM but backsliding
Author	Sukironi
Upvotes	32
Comments	23
Date	January 27, 2020 11:40 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/euwr4g/broke_up_with_a_cheating_lvm_but_backsliding/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/broke-up-with-a-cheating-lvm-but-backsliding.683853 https://theredarchive.com/post/683853

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