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Specs400 Archive

View 1 post and 213 comments by Specs400 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

DiscussionSpecs400/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 05:41 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Who says? I mean besides you.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 07:16 PM
1

Which kind of guarantees you'll get that kind of man.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 07:14 PM
2

But you are mirroring or satirizing the unhealthy claims men make that all women want the same type of men. You're stating a half truth. Lots of women find tall men attractive and are happily coupled with men who aren't tall. Lots of men over 30 find younger women attractive and are happily coupled with women their age give or take a few years.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 03:40 PM
10

If thi is a troll post holding a mirror up to the kinds of fixations some men here have, well done. If not, get help.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 01:24 PM
1

it's like saying "don't practice football because most men will fail" Its like saying "Don't go into a football career if you thinking you're going to become messi" Good response. I like it largely because I was thinking of something really similar. I agree that TRP is off base, but to me that's because of an unspoken or highly muted tenet that the only women worth pursuing are young and beautiful. If that's true, then regular guys better get busy "self improving". But you're right that if one b…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 03:19 PM
5

In terms of looks, for men who are kind of ordinary looking (or somewhat unattractive) it's better if your looks are polarizing. There's a limit to that, but for most regular looking but not appealing looking men something like a big nose or strange eyes can make you stand out. It's not balanced, so if you ask 20 women 12 may dislike your looks and 6 may be indifferent, but 2 see you as interesting looking. Same applies to women. Even being pretty, but blandly so is kind of the opposite of sexy …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 01:40 PM
5

If it felt right, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 04:00 PM
11

I have been interested in women whose characteristics didn't add up, largely because attraction isn't a math equation and if it is the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. I even wondered what the appeal was a time or two, but then had the good sense to tell myself to look at how I felt and not at how I thought I should feel. Now I've had feelings for women who were going to be bad for me, and then those thoughts were helpful. After I got singed a bit, but still.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 02:45 PM
–

Almost everyone has at least mixed feelings about their sexual desires. Men aren't necessarily especially ashamed, though among left leaning blue pill types like myself there is a sentiment that it's time for women's sexuality to be "centered". Sometimes blatantly at the expense of men's sexuality. Now in the wider culture, women's sexuality is at best thought of as threatening somehow. It's too something, and it needs to be controlled. It's hard to find a loudly broadcast voice with a middle gr…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 02:22 PM
–

Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 02:20 PM
–

As we already know, yet she's said that in a half dozen recent comments. Because we need to know it more. She also said a male commenter "sounds short". Attend to her BS at your own peril.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 02:09 PM
–

Late to the party and it's likely been said, but while there's nothing ingerently wrong or shameful about not being chosen, there is something shameful about wanting to be chosen but adopting an obsequious posture of acceptance of biological determinism.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 02:03 PM
–

I checked her comment history. She's obsessed with height and who is or isn't attractive. Like central casting called for her to drop in here. I wouldn't put much stock in what she says.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 01:57 PM
–

Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 05:25 PM
30

That thread asked for responses from women who have or have had casual sex. Plenty of women don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 03:20 PM
17

I don't think it's in any way noble or giving, but some issues like social anxiety can be seen as attractive in women far more often than men. By decent people who aren't looking for a mark, but genuinely find the person's style attractive. So no, it's not really open mindedness so much as a trait fitting a version of femininity more often than it fits a version of masculinity.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 03:03 PM
2

Explaining the dynamics behind cruelty doesn't take away the cruelty.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 01:44 PM
1

If you have an addiction there's a certain logic to hating the thing you're addicted to and whether it's hypocritical or not, you're right that the issue is the addiction. I think it does become hypocritical when a problem gambler both bemoans sports betting and the other people who get sucked into it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 01:42 PM
1

Not something I'd do or participate in. I have to think that among the men whose wives do something like this, more are smiling on the outside than are truly comfortable with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 03:56 PM
–

Making the point that conservatives aren't paragons of traditional masculinity. And if I offended anyone who looks like Steve Bannon or acts like Ben Shapiro, well I guess they should notice that their days as snowflakes are surely numbered what with global warming and all.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 08:47 PM
–

Has anyone seen some of the conservative US political leaders. Fat greaseballs like Steve Bannon or whispy types like Stephen Miller. How about Ben Shapiro, who screams "I spent too much time stuffed in a locker during my formative years"? Can't see a normal testosterone level in that bunch, combined.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 05:15 PM
–

Vetting is fairly easy when you're genuinely content being single. And don't give power to others who might stigmatize you for being single. Fuck their opinion about how you live your life.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 02:05 PM
0

What do you see as "the change" and what do you think accounts for it?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 02:00 PM
3

It is the person's fault in some instances. How often, I'm not sure. But it's clear that just as there are men here who seem to need to believe there's nothing they can do to improve their dating life, there's also a # of men and women who need to believe that any men who struggle to find a desirable partner aren't trying hard enough. Both groups are wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 02:11 PM
6

You had a choice regarding what to do with your time, and you chose to compose this little gem. Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 01:30 PM
4

I'm not sure why, and maybe it's as simple as preferring the familiar, but this trend saddens me. It makes total sense though. As a man with grown children who was very involved in their childhoods, I'm not sure I'd want kids now. It's hard to think about because my children exist and I love them, but when I say "not sure" I'm hedging. I doubt that I would. I can only imagine how much more attractive that choice is for a woman, with the physical risks and tolls and the career impact.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 01:25 PM
0

Historically and still in many parts of the world hatred of women is institutional. There's no arguing that, unless you're not interetsed in facts when you argue. Currently in the west there are still vestiges of institutional hatred of women and efforts to strengthen those lingering ties. On the ground, while you might make an argument that women talk a lot of trash about men, on the extremes men still exceed women's hatred for the other sex. What we're talking about is a kind of apparently low…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 03:59 PM
3

Which means we're not tackling the issue at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 03:45 PM
0

It's not entirely or even mainly about the individual women who whined that basically too many men are dead or damaged or in the military. Those idiots are responsible for what they said, but the NYT went looking for that story and gave the idiots a place to whine. My tag here is blue and I'm pretty far left politically but god fucking dammit can the NYT and other traditional media come up with some stupid ideas for content. It's still "World to end tomorrow; women and minorities to be hit harde…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 03:42 PM
3

We're not dealing well with the reasons men make those choices.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 03:35 PM
2

But the poor thing wasn't ready for a potential romance with someone who had been "maimed". The horror she must have faced swiping left.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 03:24 PM
5

I checked several times to see if the article you linked was from Cracked. I wish it had been. Way fucking tone deaf.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 03:22 PM
4

His alternative is to be a tall, handsome extravert. I'm sure lots of struggling men are now saying "shit, why didn't I think of that?" With no snark intended (it was intended at his idea) do you think that's really helpful?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 07:34 PM
3

I'm not a virgin, nor was I one later than typical. So not an issue for me. But incels are a particular and gross subset of virgin men. Lots of virgin men aren't incels. They may be frustrated, tired of the stigma, fear that they're missing out (they are), but they don't blast everyone with that and they don't buy into weird or dehumanizing ideas about women. Now this thread is a shit show so I understand your contempt for it. I guess I don't understand why that would generalize though.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 03:44 PM
3

I'm not sure about the specifics you list, but a woman would be a fool to not have some sort of plan B in mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 06:39 PM
–

What % of men would rape if they thought they could totally get away with it? Too many.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 03:52 PM
1

There's no should here. Well there is a conditional should. People who want a happy sex life in a long term committed relationship should talk about their needs and expectations. If two people both want their paftner to be their only sexual outlet, great. If one wants that and the other doesn't, there's not time better than really early on to find out.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 09:28 PM
2

Confidence can be seen as a belief that you can do a specific thing very well, or a bunch of specific things well in an endeavor like dating. Confidence can also be seen as being reasonably comfortable with yourself and possessing a belief in your abilty to deal with what life throws at you. The first kind of confidence is really hard to achieve and it only lasts as long as you don't slip. You get caught in a "your only as good as your last game" cycle. The belief in yourself kind of confidence …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 01:37 PM
1

Yeah but most therapists are women, so......... ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 07:16 PM
3

Think for a second, though. First, she's not saying it to him. She's saying it here to make a point. Second, you've set yourself up by thinking that you're either the most attractive man in her eyes, or you're crap.Don't do that. And third, most of us are not eye catchingly attractive. If that's needed for true attraction, we're almost all shit outa luck.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 07:12 PM
5

Apparently she should have met the second guy first. Women refuse to defy laws of time and space and get this shit right. Maybe.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 06:58 PM
3

Did Socrate edit her comment, because I can't find anything in her comment that resembles what you just wrote.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 06:55 PM
5

I hope that discussion with your mom helped both of you. It really sounds like you feel like it did. Good on you.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 02:07 PM
1

Being nonchalant, being passionate, being borderline arrogant, being a little doofy, all play better against an attractive background.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 01:14 PM
–

That most men are terrified of being seen as a disappointment, especially to a woman he cares about.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 06:52 PM
–

What a weird fucking take.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 04:39 PM
–

I agree in general, but there are two places or two ways this discussion can occur. There's no way Jason can argue his way into bed with Jessica. Totally futile unless Jessica has really serious issues that leave her vulnerable to that weird ass approach. But that's not what happens here. Here, men aren't trying to convince "Women'sUsername1998" to date them, they're trying to argue that dating has changed for the worse, for men and women. They often make shitty, mertiless arguements. They somet…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 03:31 PM
2

That makes sense. Men and women get a much better sense of who a person is from spending time face to face in relaxed settings where character emerges whether we want it to or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 02:24 PM
11

The two most important traits a man can have in relation to women's sexually as physical appearance and social aptitude. Girls don't get wet for guys because they're sweet and polite. Low social aptitude is a sexual off switch for women.Why is it unattractive? I'm not sure. Something evolutionary, no doubt. But ultimately, it doesn't matter. Your whole comment is really convincing. I didn't need to be coonvinced, but I enjoy reading a well constructed argument. Kudos. The portion I bolded hints …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 02:20 PM
0

Not the person you asked, but are you referring to a profile? I'm not familiar with apps and barely familiar with OLD so I may be wrong, but don't swipe type apps leave very little room for anything that might reveal characte? Maybe something can be gleaned from picture choices, but I'd think that only applies in outrafeous cases. Kicking a puppy level stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 01:59 PM
–

There is some stigma for men and women who struggle with dating and especially those who have no success. I'm not sure but it seems to land especially hard on men. Regardless, wouldn't removing or at least lessening the stigma help support someone as they work through this challenge?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 08:16 PM
–

I'm not sure what the post intends, and some men might deny this, but I think men who really struggle are ashamed of that struggle. There's the difficulty dating, and then the shame about it. Someone acknowledging that their struggle may in some cases say more about how dating works and less about the man may relieve some of the shame. It may not. Some men may just rage against a social system that they think disfavors them, but ironically the least unhealthy men may feel a little relief when so…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 03:35 PM
7

The OP's claim that women resent men by default is not supported by his evidence or by my experience. Even if it was, it doesn't explain the level of ugliness men express toward women.There's no equivalency in # or intensity. However.... Women do to often speak contemptuously of men. We are generally referred to as bad options, but it seldom stops there. We're socially inept. We're immature. We're predatory. Our behavior isn't masculine enough (no damsels saved) or it's too masculine (she didn't…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 01:43 PM
3

Bragging about her not knowing his name is odd, but I know multiple couples that started out as flings with no real knowledge of each other besides being fuckable.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 06:14 PM
11

This is what happens when you marry someone who has sex without even knowing your name, and what happens when you only filter with your penis. I can't feel sorry for you even a little bit. Your kids on the otherhand Do you gather that from his post history? I'm not great at recalling who has made what past choices, and since none of that is in the OP, I wondered.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 03:10 PM
2

Given that here and elsewhere some women have said that they wait a bit when the see a man they think is worth waiting for, I might wonder if she thinks that way. I wouldn't see her differently, but I might wonder whether she sees me as someone she might get serious with. Actually, I should say I did wonder.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 02:41 AM
5

I didn't read the thread, but a woman who won't go on a date because it's too simple isn't hurting herself so much as doing the man a favor.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 01:25 AM
3

I don't wanna do that shit either.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 01:24 AM
1

It does to come here and tell strangers what you won't put up with, when what you won't put up with is harmless. I was being facetious.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 01:23 AM
5

i think making someone cum relies on context cues -- doing more of what makes them react in a good way and listening if they say they don't like something (which unfortunately lots of men don't do!). That's exactly the kind of thing I mean, and you betrayed your agreement that men should know by adding the bolded. And men should know this since it's easy enough to find on tame, PG rated web sites, and women should know that erections a can happen when a man's not attracted and may not happen whe…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 01:21 AM
1

Well you're a tough guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 07:19 PM
5

I don't think a man would want someone who knows in and out about how to work with a man's body unless they are really secure, which most men are not anyways Only if he wants to enjoy himself. But in this case, he went soft. I'm not even talking about sexual skill, but a basic understanding of a man's phyisiology. Dicks are uncooperative sometimes. I think that's where the slur comes from. This guy is in his 30s and so assumoing the women he dates are at least 25, I would think they'd know that …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 07:16 PM
16

Aren't you supposed to know this stuff, though? I mean in fairness, there's an expectation that young men know how women work, so why not the reverse?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 06:43 PM
2

White knight with a broken lance.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 11:55 AM
9

A lot of men who came of age post WW2 worked and drank themselves to death. Saw incredible social changes they didn't understand and often resisted or begrudgingly accepted. In both cases those changes often took an emotional, physical, and economic toll. They often provided well for their kids and were the last generation that could say pretty uniformly that their kids were set up for a better life than they had. And many became estranged from those children as they reached adulthood. See socia…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 11:53 AM
-2

Gotta ask. Would her offering her vagina to the man who lost a limb represent investment or risk?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 06:53 PM
3

Thanks for responding and I can see why those profiles and the people behind them seem unappealing. if you could again; What prompted you to look at their profiles? Are you saying the profiles you describe are the majority, at least the majority of those you looked at, or are these just examples of profiles you find unappealing? I've never used OLD or apps and I have no interest in starting. I tend to believe that some men who you'd think could get some interest on line fail to, and I'm curious …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 05:29 PM
5

What is it about the profiles that doesn't work.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 04:07 PM
4

The difference between cats and men is that cats can fool you that you're not their personal assistant. Kitties are devious that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 01:54 PM
2

Please stay single, OP.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 01:49 PM
2

I agree. Many women are disappointing, and this awareness should be more generally accepted.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/24 07:40 PM
12

Men go on about all kinds of things regarding fairness in dating. One point that has some merit I think is that on line dating, apps, and social media in general have created a dating market that isn't free so much as it's distorted. Especially among men, these platforms create a deeper divide among successful and unsuccessful users. You're pretty impatient with men's complaints on here, OP, and I think even you've admitted that these dating methods are pretty fucked for some men who are pretty …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/24 02:06 PM
–

Weird hill to die on, OP. -Leave France if you live there -Test in secret -Paternity assured Men think this discussion is some sort of victory that it isn't. If your partner has done nothing to cause you to distrust here, then trust her. If she has done something, talk about it. Now some women lose the argument when they want to downplay how fucking bovine it is for a woman to let a man believe he's the dad when there's a chance he may not be. That only happens one way, and that's her fucking so…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 07:23 PM
–

I'm replying late on purpose. I'd DM you but that seems weird, so I'm leaving this here where you'll likely be the only person reading it. It's a bit confessional. This comment and the one above that starts with "....let's just address this head on" are extremely insightful and beautifully convey what it's like to be a social outsider. I don't think I'm ND, but what you wrote applies to anyone who feels unwelcome or alien most of the time, for whatever reason. I make my life work, but barely, an…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 04:50 PM
0

That's gross and wrong and......super incisive. I don't like it but well played.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 01:09 PM
8

The few men who say this lose all credibility for any other relationship or dating comment they make. It's an asinine, self serving take.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 08:39 PM
3

If you define settling as accepting someone who is less ideal than you dreamt of all your life, then we are all settling and the answer is yes This is key. I think so many people have this naive, romantic idea that anyone short of ideal is being settled for, and doomed for all the bad outcomes that flow from settling.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 02:15 PM
1

You ask, "Why do I have to lie?", and I'd ask, "Why do you have to say anything?" Do you really believe anyone who's gained likely 50% or more of their original bodyweight doesn't know that affects everything? Seriously?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 01:44 PM
0

I agree. I also think people underestimate how difficult it is to improve your social skills to the point that they "carry" you. They're worth improving if that suits him, but there's usually what amounts to a set point that's hard to consistently surpass.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/24 11:37 PM
6

Like everything Nietzsche, his deal with women was apparently complicated.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/24 02:27 PM
24

Neither did Nietzche.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/24 01:53 PM
1

I'm way past any personal concern about things like this, but when I was younger and struggling 5 never had any impact on me. 4 is essentially true, at least in the initial stages of dating. You aren't competing to get a person to click with you, but you are competing in a sense to be seen at all. Some men are quite readily "seen" by lots of women, so in these terms they're competing well. Some men are essentaillly invisible, so the opposite. Most of us are in between, and are aware that before …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/24 05:52 PM
-1

Both really. Society fucked things up when it created institutions and practices that only worked for a select few people. That has been getting unfucked up ever since, and very slowly.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 06:07 PM
2

Thanks for responding. I asked because I think you're making thoughtful contributions to this conversation. I think what men are concerned about, rightly or wrongly, is never having the opportunity to be better at relationships than the men you describe. You mentioned dating advice and your hope that it will help address the issues of men who are struggling to date at all. That's my inference because that's the overall theme of this thread, and to some extent this sub. Your response, while thoug…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 02:11 PM
0

What is it that you think women want? You say competent partners, but what does that mean to you, and since you've mentioned this as something women generally want, what do you think it means more generally?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 02:45 AM
5

You might not be the last word on this, except for yourself. Men and women complain all the time about their spouses and partners. Often about minor areas of incompatibility, sometimes about significant ones. Some incompatibilities are not deal breakers and are balanced nicely by other qualities.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 05:18 PM
11

Not entirely true. Women with autism are better at masking their symptoms, probably because women are better at (socialized to) fit in. But you're right, a man somewhere will ignore idiosyncracies in a woman more than vice versa, but not out of anything like benevolence.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 04:02 PM
0

Loving a woman may be low vakue or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 03:11 PM
5

Someone who's not a simp would know. /s
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 02:19 PM
3

Exactly. All my changes were there ;}
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/24 11:39 AM
2

What comment are you responding to?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/24 11:19 PM
6

It's probably been said, but personality can make or break an interaction that could go either way. Let's face it, most of us don't wow each other at first glance. Feeling like someone gets me, or is funny or kind or bright, can tip my attraction toward a solid "yes" from a "maybe-probably". It adds to whatever baseline attraction there is.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/24 09:50 PM
1

Not a good look for anyone. I see it as an insecure reaction to the admittedly shitty stereotypes about men or women. Doubly sad though because who wants to suck up to someone who thinks your gender is shit. Like being a man, I prefer women who like men.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/24 05:23 AM
1

Anyone who doesn't want to marry has my permission to refrain. I hope that clears things up.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/24 05:16 AM
1

What you describe sounds difficult to deal with. I mean that sincerely. Graduating had to be somewhat satisfying, even if it took a bit of time and accommodation. I hope you look at your life compassionately and credit yourself for doing hard things. I was 7 years an undergraduate for various reasons, none as challenging as you faced. I wonder, do you have friends? Supportive family? Do you work? I run a program for adults with disabilities and we used to serve people looking for employment, man…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/24 08:22 PM
0

Can I ask what underlies your motor skills issues and how they manifest?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/24 06:20 PM
0

Let's assume that's literally true. I mean we'll suspend disbelief for the sake of the bigger message in the story. Isn't the only answer to change something about you, since all women aren't changing? Or there are two other choices I guess. You can stay as you are and accept a life with no sex or romance in it, or you can stay as you are and ruminate about it. The first two options, while not great at least give you a chance at something like contentment. But we know it's far more likely that y…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/24 06:15 PM
2

OP, some women have said they wouldn't mind. You're investing energy in sussing out the why and wherefore with women who said they aren't interested. Do you really think you can pursuade them to change their minds? Needing women to tell you it's OK that you're a virgin late in life, the attitude or vibe that gives off, is very likely the thing women believe virgin men will exhibit and which those women don't want to deal with. It comes off as demanding, and suggests that you may have internalize…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/24 04:12 PM
3

Relationship history is a more typical conversation than specifics about sexual history.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/24 03:35 PM
5

I haven't clicked on the video, but assuming the text above reflects what was said, let's start with "real men". Fuck that language. Then we can address the reasons men, real or artificial but especially artificial men striving like pinocchio to be real, should date single moms. Fuck that reasoning. For the record, I'm in a long standing relationship with a woman who has children from her previous marriage, as did I.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/24 01:51 PM
4

The resistance to ideas like those in the top half of the OP is interesting. It seems like some women think this is a zero sum game. That the pie is only so big. Or that men just don't deserve any help, stats and common sense be damned. It's really disheartening that it's so difficult here or anywhere to talk about problems that are unique to men or disproportionately impact men without outright resistance to the idea first, and then to solutions. And if not outright resistance, we get this insi…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/24 01:43 PM
5

Yeah, I thought "this is put together well", until I didn't right after the bullet points.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/24 11:53 AM
-2

Got to agree. Old reference, but this has a feel like, "Was it over when the Germans bombed Pear Harbor? Hell no." "Gemans?" "Forget it, he's rolling."
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 09:48 PM
1

But that is different, and I left room for that in my comment when I said maybe there's a context I'm missing. The way you responded here made it look to me like he asked "What should I do" and you responded "I can't help you because I don't know anyone past 30.....". That would have seemed a bit cruel as a first response, so I thought "WTF"? But you actually made a pretty encouraging response, which is what the guy was looking for. I take back my "WTF"? And I agree that as a random on the inter…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 09:38 PM
0

Regarding the original thread where the guy asked what to do, maybe not saying anything. Can you see that responding as you did probably made him and others feel even more like outsiders than they already do?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 08:32 PM
0

Yes you're wrong in your conclusion. Some women (and men) in one discussion were short on empathy, or maybe compassion. But I wonder what a woman or man could have said in that thread that would have been helpful? For example, I could say it must be tough to want something other people have and something we're inundated with as one of life's real pleasures. But that doesn't tell him what to do, which is what he asked. I could say that his sexual past is no one's business. Our relationship pasts …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 08:20 PM
0

Maybe there's more context, but it looks like you're in the "truth without compassion" camp. Except there's no real truth in your comment #2 because he and many men and some women who are virgins later in life are upset about it. Even if you want to make the case that their thinking is flawed and that leads to their upset, their emotions are still real. And you dismissed his.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 08:05 PM
5

I look for your comments. I don't always agree with your take, and I think some of your comments reflect a bitterness, but that's not a negative criticism. Bitterness is sometimes well earned, and I also may be wrong about you and projecting my feelings onto your comments. Regardless, I think you represent many men who feel uncertain or a bit beaten down but lack your eloquence and your ability to pause and respond, rather than react. I hope your tendency to write well constructed (and by necess…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 06:26 PM
–

Two points The who has it worst competition is pointless. The idea that any sex is good sex for a man because he almost always cums needs to die. First, all orgasms are not created equal, and second, orgasms aside I want a full, rich experience. Among the women I've been with there's a world of difference in terms of skill, enthusiasm, communication, and just presence. And I'm not invoking the idea of talking "starfish sex" since I've never experienced that, but there's still space between layin…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 05:35 PM
2

If she tells him and he goes along without objection, I think he's henpecked. But if you want to be right, be right. The definition is to nag or give orders.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 09:13 PM
1

I think it's to criticize someone until they do something or do it the way the critic wants, which is pretty much telling the person what to do. And it can be flat out teelling the person what to do, but in a demanding way. It's shitty treatment in order to get your way.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 08:49 PM
17

A woman who stays in one type of relationship when she wants another type is a fool. A man who stays in one type of relationship when he wants another type is a fool. Either is wise to leave that relationship or to make "eyes wide open" peace with it as is, with no complaining now or in the future about being used.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 08:12 PM
3

It's one of those things that's metaphorically true, but not so much literally. And believeing and acting as if metaphorical truths were literally true will increase your chances of the belief being true for you. Can also leave you vulnerable to feeling like you're fucking up if you can't make it happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 05:44 PM
4

I wonder why that is? Aren't you saying these hospitals are full because "so many people" got sick? I'd wonder why so many people got sick. Your assessment seems pretty accurate, but it doesn't answer the real question. So if so many men go out on a Friday or Saturday night or use dating apps (or don't try at all), why do you think that is?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 05:14 PM
53

The term has been around for centuries apparently. Suffice to say it's old and from a time when a husband telling his wife what to do was expected and thought to be proper or ideal. Godly even. The reverse wasn't, it was news, so it got a label.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 02:52 PM
7

Really repugnant response.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 01:10 AM
6

It's surely easier to be confident when the world has mostly welcomed you. But that same world that's been mostly indifferent to you or even shit on you is the world you live in, so you have to find a way to get comfortable in it. I agree with the definition of confidence as being Ok with what happens, as opposed to feeling certain. Being OK is a challenge but thinking you have to feel certain or nearly so is a fools errand. The world unfolds the way it unfolds and there's precious little we dir…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 04:41 PM
2

I think we'll end up disagreeing at least on the margins, but it's a thoughtful disagreement. I'm male but I'm old and I'm certain that if I were single, I have something like the attitude you had before you met your (husband?). I would not be closed off to the possibility of meeting someone, but I wouldn't be looking to, so she'd have to wow me to get me to engage. And she'd have to meet me half way. That makes my current perspective different from younger men's, for sure. But my memory is inta…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 03:39 PM
–

I understand his concern I guess, but that an adult man with teeth as bad as his seem to be would even hesitate because of what some woman might think is sad. I don't mean to dump on your friend or on you indirectly, because I think this is symptomatic of a bigger problem of too many men playing supplicant for women's blessings. He should be the man who gets braces because he wants to and wears them proludly and has no fucks to give.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 01:39 PM
1

When you say it's the man who wants something, then why do women who don't want something respond. How can that work? Did you not want what you have with your partner. Is it really for him, and not for the both of you? No, women may want some different things from a relationship than men do (and some of the same things), but those who enter relationships want to. Men and women play their parts in the courtship dance and those parts include her being brought along and him doing the bringing, but …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 01:24 PM
1

Isn't one possible answer to questions 1 and 3 best framed as the question, 'What if more women were worth that kind of effort?".
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 08:29 PM
–

Is it really that strange that some (maybe many) men see your comment and believe that looks are indeed important, so something like a hurdle to get over. Then those the "not the only or most important" things are just additional hurdles to clear. Traits like confidence (hurdle 2) humor (hurdle 3) kindness (hurdle 4) creativity (hurdle 5) are just more hurdles, each of which you can stumble over. Those "hurdles" are just examples, but you see the point. I think women probably mean that the trait…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 01:35 PM
3

Yeah, um, no.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/24 10:59 PM
16

A comment is offensive or not based on the person on the receiving end of the comment. I don't think many men would take this as a compliment, and a woman who believes a man will better be sure he thinks that way, or don't say it. I don't know how upset I'd be, but I know for sure I wouldn't feel good in this guy's shoes.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/24 05:22 PM
2

Because sometimes upvotes aren't enough, I add my voice to the chorus of people appreciating this comment. It's the kind of comment I'd be proud to have made.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/24 01:20 PM
6

OK, I get that. I see men older than I am (I'm about to turn 67) flirting with waitresses. Sometimes with intent. I'm embarrassed on their behalf, first because wait staff are terrible "prospects" for 20 or 30 something year old men, and secondly because the men I'm watching are maybe a half century older than that. And I'll add a third point, and that's because it gives people some misguided justification to ascribe that behavior to old men, rahter than an old man. Fourth reason which could be …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/24 05:11 PM
1

You really have an age thing, don't you? Your negative or derisive (and gatekeeping???) references to older men are pretty frequent, and more than being hurt or angered by them, I'm irritated at having to invest time and energy into not putting you in the kind of box you put men beyond a certain age in. But I'm sure your take plays well here, because boomers, amirite?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/24 03:03 PM
5

This is an excellent point and mdaningfully conveyed. Meaningfully :)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/24 02:01 PM
10

I think the point is, men aren't in the streets protesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 09:24 PM
1

I see men reference toxic femininity on here sometimes, and I think "WTF are they talking about?" But this idea right here is something I'll remember if I ever need an example. This is WTF. Edit to add, I use "toxic feminity" mostly tongue in cheek. But still.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 01:27 PM
2

And most men settle. Almost no one gets their ideal, and in those rare instances when they do, the person often isn't so ideal.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 02:43 PM
1

If you subscribe to a philosophy that leads you to wonder about your own value and tells you to deny yourself a basic desire and emotional need, maybe you should reconsider that philosophy.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 02:32 PM
7

I suspect the mistrust is fueled by their personal insecurity, though. Projecting that onto this woman's character or that of all women, when that happens, is perhaps a way to water down his feelings of insecurity.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 02:05 PM
–

What part of the batshit post do you agree with? The full crazy started with "Women have" and I say that because I've seen "The General Survey of all Women Everywhere and For all Time", and I couldn't find the OP's take anywhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 01:50 PM
8

This stance is predicated on self hate being necessary for achievement. The graveyards are filled with former people who "despised themselves" right into a coffin. OP, your escape from being a wage slave just may lie in selling hair shirts, disciplines, and scarlett letters.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 01:31 PM
–

Your comment above "I got this one" is kind and in my experience and observations as a man, also true. Kind, meaning gentle and positive, and also true comments here are really welcome and praise worthy. I have but one upvote to give. KG's response isn't so different in tone from yours though. He prefaced it by saying it's frustrating, which seems like an honest expression of how he feels and him owning those feelings. As to your comment above "I didn't give advice on how to date", no you didn't…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 04:18 PM
–

I agree. We're all choosing from among the people actually available to us, within your "reasonable amount of time" qualifier. Choosing too soon runs the risk of choosing before you know who can really be good for you. Choosing too late, if that means passing up people you could have a good life with in the hope of someone slightly more ideal coming along, risks you staying alone. And alone is better than settling for someone who isn't good for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 03:30 PM
2

I'd add that if they're what you thought you wanted but you're not feeling that joy, and you stick it out, then that's a kind of settling too.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/24 12:36 AM
2

Is it preferable to say "everyone settles" or to say "real people are imperfect and if I want a relationship it will be with someone imperfect"?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 08:29 PM
3

"the problem is that all those aspects are very much connected and a too big decrease in one or two of them tends to breed resentment and bring the others down with it." I agree with this. If any of the things I mentioned were really lacking and seemed likely to stay that way, that would impact other things and I'd feel like I had settled if I stuck around.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 08:25 PM
1

Crying about women doesn't make a man entitled. It doesn't help, if he's actually just whining, but it's not entitlement.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/24 05:44 PM
2

Of course you're right. The person you're responding either got sloppy with his word choice or purposely made the reference for those who like it and then gave himself an out. Somehow I think it's both.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/24 03:08 AM
3

You seem to have forced that into my meteorological riff on the OP's hurricane comment. I am confuse now.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 08:19 PM
14

So it's not the heat, it's the humidity?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 07:57 PM
1

No.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 03:50 PM
–

I don't think it's childish to look askance at people who don't care. It is childish to expect them to do anything. I'd also say that you can accept being single and at tghe same time work on finding someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 02:02 PM
–

Your message is pretty on target, but it comes off as more bleak than it needs to be. Like it's determined. That's the tone that freaks people out. Not everyone will end up partnered. Be as happy as you can be single because why waste moments being miserable if there's an alternative, and also because it may (or may not) be your fate. Building a satisfying single life is like an insurance policy.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 01:57 PM
–

That really is the answer. I think it's tough to accept a situation you genuinely don't want (being single) for fear that you'll stop trying to change (in this case stop trying to find someone). Like being miserable is necessary motivation to make change. The irony is that whatever your chances are of finding someone, even if that's a longshot, it's more likely if your happy single.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 01:51 PM
0

Men seem to use the word lonely when they mean horny. Like they sometimes use intimacy instead of sex. Neither pairings are really accurate. They're softer terms, and a step or 5 away from male sexuality, which isn't something anyone wants to hear about. Men make such crap arguments sometimes. A person can want the unique physical connection two people can feel during sex. The particular way you can get lost in each other and be a person you can't really be the other 23 hours of the day. A man c…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 03:24 AM
1

I'm good now but I had a shitty time of it when younger, across a bunch of dimensions. I'm her in part trying to sort that shit out, kind of retell the story to myself. And then at times this place is rage bait, and I practice self control. After the self abuse, but still.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 02:59 AM
3

If her voice annoys me, I know that early on. Like 10 seconds into the date. If it's enough to preclude anything more than a hookup, we're not making out and things aren't escalating. Off topic, but what gets weird about these scenarios is that lots of men and women are open to a quick fuck or a LTR. Probably more men than women, but if the moods right.... And then both men and women who genuinely want a LTR have sex with people long before they know whether they want that person long term. If a…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 02:52 AM
2

I think there's lots of evidence that reasonably attractive women have more opportunity to get with someone "super hot" as you put it, than there is for a reasonably attractive man to do the same. Probably for a hookup or something not real serious, but that's something and I'd think the experience could shape her desires. It sounds like you have some experience with this. If you then got together with someone less attractive for a LTR, was that a challenge?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 02:25 AM
3

Comments like this tell me you're not engaging in good faith. The issue as I've preseented it isn't all or nothing, but you're discussing it as if that's my claim, so I'll bow out.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 03:50 PM
4

I'm male and you're grossly exaggerating and if any of your comment comes from something I wrote, please point that out.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 03:37 PM
8

It doesn't seem irrational to wonder if a woman who even rarely has casual sex, but when she does chooses a really attractive man, expereinces something like a lesser experience when she enters a relationship with a man who may be less attractive. Maybe that's just how it is and guys just have to deal with it, but can you see where a man might feel less than on that single dimension, a dimension that's pretty important?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 02:06 PM
14

Only when we're not there. Or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 05:52 PM
–

Something like "If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then either it's a duck or it's trying really hard to be a duck".
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 03:32 PM
–

I think you're right, but feeling unlovable is scary. And while their search for a magic formula is 100% futile, being scared that you're unlovable with no apparent way to ease those fears is a kind of hell.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 03:24 PM
–

I'm mostly a good boy here, but you have to be trolling or trying awfully hard to be the bestest boy. You are consistent.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 03:20 PM
4

Love is more than the sum of a person's "stats". Those matter, but they're only part of a person. Having great "stats" makes your life easier, in part because you can be yourself and people, women, welcome you. Men who struggle seem prone to analyzing themselves to try and figure out what they might change, drop, add, and so on. And it's not that doing this can't help you, but it's too easy to get absorbed in this breaking down process and to lose sight of you. Instead, he starts to see his self…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 01:46 PM
1

From your responses here OP you seem to want to be angry. Be angry if you want, but is it really a communal thing?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 12:23 AM
1

Your TLDR is a little different from your title. A few men succeed socially entirely off their looks and charm. Must be tough. Your TLDR I pretty much agree with, and it applies to some extent to most men. We have a choice to make. I think the system(s) kind of suck but they're a reality we have to deal with. Men who aren't naturals may get lucky or they may struggle with women if they don't play by the system's rules. If they do play by those rules, they make success with women more likely. In …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 08:27 PM
–

I think of relationships as mutual rather than transactional.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 08:19 PM
0

That's not a very helpful comment, but if you resemble the people the comment is speaking of, what are you going to do?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 07:37 PM
4

Female imperative as described-2 We all want the best person or circumstances we can get and we've evolved in environements where women needed men for security and resources. But for something to be an imperative, it has to be the crucial deciding factor in their choice, so that lowers my belief. Too many exceptions, and too much room in modern times for women to make rational choices against having to have only the best, eveen if that comes with downsides. And on monkey branching, it happens bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 07:34 PM
12

I think men who want to know "why" are either; Asking a question they don't really want an answer to Wanting to see the reason as a hurdle to be gotten over Colleting injustices Wanting to learn something from the exchange If first 3 are unhealthy. #4 looks good on paper, but there are 2 problems with it. First, no one is obligated to have a potentially difficult conversation with you. That's something close friends often try to avoid, so expecting it from a near stranger or an acquaintance you'…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 05:14 PM
3

I think a man who is OK with what she wants is probably a pushover. I don't subscribe to the whole betabux thing, but I could make an exception in this case. Again, not because she's a single mom, but because I really think she'll likely appeal to men who are desperate, with all that comes with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 04:42 PM
1

That's often true. Not marketing your product at all falls under failing to properly market it, though. And we're always marketing ourselves. I would think that before men get to the point of calling themselves incels, they've experienced romantic or at leas social failure, often due t the way they behave. It doesn't help if they're physically unattractive, but the reality is that unattractive people have a smaller margin for error. Some soso products sell, in fact most produts aren't super high…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 03:17 PM
4

I don't see "hard to get" either. I think she's making it hard for her to succeed, and I think the men who are OK with her approach migh end up disappointing her. Which seems really easy to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 03:07 PM
6

Nothing wrong with sharing your requirements, but when you do you open yourself up to a critique. To be clear, I'm not throwing in with those saying she has baggage or that she expects a man to pay for her bad choices. Whatever on that. But if I specifically looked to date women with children, I'd run from this one. Capital E.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 03:01 PM
26

The word "entitled" gets thrown around too much here, but........
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 02:11 PM
2

There are bad products, but you're contradicting your point above about capitalism regarding incels. Men who identify as incels are a spectacular example of a product that's poorly marketed. They fail in almost every case on the "take steps to properly market and sell" part of the formula.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 01:43 PM
4

I'm a man and I see men complaining about women aging on this sub all the time. Please understand that men do this here because they want to believe they have some leverage over women. They want women to feel bad about themselves, either because they, the men, feel bad about themselves or they're just pissed off at women. Don't take their bait. I think you've said that you take things too literally. You're doing that now. Things happen in a context. This sub is the context for the comments you s…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 01:27 PM
1

Really good comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 02:49 AM
3

I think tolerance can prevent ostracism, and ostracism often starts a severe downward spiral. Tolerance give a kid a chance. A lack of it seals a kid's fate.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 11:45 PM
3

We can insist on tolerance and push for acceptance, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 11:43 PM
3

Maybe we should educate children and their adult caretakers to be more accepting of people's quirks.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 09:32 PM
–

It's the real "invisible hand".
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 06:05 PM
5

Pray for strength to resist desire, not for girls. /s
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 02:32 PM
11

The world and all the people in it are just one disappointment after another to you, aren't they Lilith? Dudes are awful, women sometimes like men despite our awfulness. How do you manage to stay strong?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 11:14 PM
1

Women tend to be more selective than men. A woman meeting 5 men and not being interested in any of them results in the same status for her as a man seeing 5 women, liking 2 of them only to have neither like him.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 07:56 PM
1

I kind of hoped so ;).
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 07:37 PM
2

I think while there may be different and even greater challenges in some ways for men, that gets exaggerated. That's insulting to women who still struggle, and infuriating to men who are looking to be pissed off. Helps no one to paing a bleaker picture than exists.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 07:32 PM
6

Words matter. Are you looking for a magical person, or are you saying a real person you're into who feels the same about you would be magical?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 06:19 PM
11

Thank you. We have enough of "X is supposed to do Y".
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 06:17 PM
-5

Women don't have it as easy as you seem to think (or men as tough), but even if they did and a woman shoots herself in the foot and life shoots a man in the foot, both are going to walk funny.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 06:16 PM
3

Do you subscribe to AWALT-women are the oldest children in the room-women are cruelly self interested parts of the RP? Even when those things aren' mentioned, don't they underpin the choice of which tools to use?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 02:59 PM
3

Men are accountable for what they say online. That can't be argued. But as to how men online communicate, I think you have a point. We say things for effect. We often dress up our emotional truth in stats or references to hierarchies because that's less scary than admitting that we're hurting. We try to be loud, virtually. But the cultural narrative men rail against, as represented by the internet normies the OP refers to, is often guilty of the same thing. Their personal communication style oft…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 02:56 PM
1

What is it then?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 02:14 PM
2

Probably on tomorrow's menu.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 08:38 PM
–

Are you claiming that 91-95% of men are single, or whatever "getting zero" means?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 07:25 PM
0

Thanks, that's what I tend to see also.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 02:04 PM
1

What do you think are the key differences and how do they impact these men's thoughts?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 01:25 PM
–

4 is a deal breaker. 3 is probably a deal breaker. I'm not looking for a traditional women, but there's a bunch of space between traditional and a rigid refusal to work with a partner. So if that kind of rigidity is what 3 is meant to convey, that's a no. I don't know what 5 means but even if it's not as bad as I think, 2 other options are more palatable, so no. If I were to choose between a thin woman withan attractive face but little ambition, and a moderately overweight woman with an attracti…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/24 07:14 PM
–

If boys are struggling, and they are, we can blame children or we can blame the system. Which do you blame?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 07:24 PM
–

You're right that there's an thought trend here that men love purely, are loyal by nature, are logical, as opposed to women. Women generally aren't better in those areas, and they're no better at seeing men's issues objectively than men are at seeing women's issues. But to claim men are better with this stuff is comical. The single moms screeds here are also cruel and off base. The war on boys thing I can't agree with. I think the system is failing male children. That is the system's fault, not …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 06:06 PM
1

I think you're mostly right but you underestimate the fear men have of not being good enough financially, socially, sexually, intellectually. I don't think men and women are so different that we can't recognize that we all are expected to live in a manner that's unnatural and harmful to us. Our political and economic system needs us to shut up and to continue grinding. And not in a good way.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 05:58 PM
6

My pleasure and orgasm are my responsibility. That includes assessing whether she did or didn't do things that shut me down, and then deciding what to do about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 05:39 PM
–

Is 10 dates per year too few? Are you only interested in hooking up, or would you be good with seeing a woman more often and even letting a relationship develop if there was mutual interest? Lots of men with those goals would kill for 10 dates per year.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 08:59 PM
1

Re dancing I agree. the only thing close to being a good dancer is being a bad dancer and not caring. I like freckles on women, but that may not be quirky. I like smile lines. A slightly crooked smile is also a killer.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 05:06 PM
1

Men want to fuck women more than women want to fuck men.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 03:34 PM
3

Do you really think that's possible for most men? For men who are struggling in particular? It's far more realistic to suggest tha men strive to get women they're interested in to respond "yes" to their asking. That's possible for most men.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 03:32 PM
13

But if he says he's interested in marriage and yet his actions say he's not interested in marrying her, isn't her choice similar to the man who isn't having sex? She's dating him so there's some interest there, but he's not getting what he wants. The woman is in a LTR, but she's not getting what she wants. The parallels are pretty solid. In both cases the person who wants something needs to talk about what they want. You're asking a question you may not like the answer to, but the answer might s…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 02:01 PM
–

Some very wack men do say they're entitled to sex. A bigger # imply that they are. That's crazy talk. But the line "you're not entitled to sex" is used in response to men who are expressing frustration without demanding a specific solution and in some cases have eplicitly said they know there may be no solution. So I understand why people use, and in some cases over broadly use the term. When guys vent with some vigor you kind of expect them to go there, but when they don't it's kind of a shame …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 01:22 PM
1

I can't claim to be objective, but I'm older than anyone else here, likely. I'm a man in a relationship. So I don't have much of a dog in this fight, except perhaps trying to make sense out of my early experiences which were pretty difficult. I'm not "pilled", but things have changed. Men in particular are struggling to adjust, and meanwhile for some of them their lives are racing by. Empty. Economically and politically, we're more divided than we have been in my lifetime. We've filled the envir…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 11:50 PM
3

It seems a lot of people make a journey from blue pill to red pill and then land back in no pill, which is a little different from blue. Some people want to say blue pill is just normalcy, but I think there's a slightly forced optimism in the azure. Maybe healthily skeptical blue.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 08:36 PM
5

Two opposing views can have merit. Having a growth mindset is super common among people who are successful , content, and reasonably accepted socially. It's also kinda bull shit in some cases and genrally for some people due to genetics or early life experiences that shaped them in hard and lasting ways. And, it's most important for those people to believe in the possibility of significant growth anyway. If only because, what's the alternative? If you're going to stick around, why not see if you…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 03:10 PM
6

We seem to be moving further from those kinds of communal eperiences for men. How do we stop and reverse that trend?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 02:11 PM
1

I'm not for criminalizing this beyond what the law currently provides. Proving it criminally or civilly would often be difficult as you note, but saying there should be no response from the man beyond ending the relationship seems incomplete. If a woman had sex with two men around the time she got pregnant, doesn't she have an ethical obligation to inform them both of the possibility that they're the father? Can you see that both the bio father and the man who believes he's the bio father are ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 04:01 PM
1

I'm not sure what the remedy is, or whether there is a workable remedy. But the issue isn't the adultery, it's the woman knowing that a man may not be the father and being complicit with him believeing he is, investing in the child emotionally and financially, and continuing to invest in her when he might not have had he known he wasn't the father of her child. I would maintain a relationship with the child unless this all happened very early, like within the first 2-3 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 03:06 PM
3

It's not the cheating I get stuck on. I don't want to criminalize adulltry, though it's a crap thing to do to a man or a woman. But knowing a man might not be the father, or in some cases knowing he likely isn't, and pulling him into the role of father is a greater betrayal than cheating. For whatever reason being cheated on sucks but seems emotionally survivable to me, but paternity fraud doesn't. Especially if I've been around long enough to grow attached to the child.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 08:42 PM
3

What do you think would be just?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 08:03 PM
1

Part of why this topic is so fraught is because there's no good restorative justice. Even if a court orders her to clean the man's bathroom in perpetuity, what if she doesn't? Jail for her? The child's welfare does matter. Edit: And to be clear, I'd want some kind of justice if I were a victim of this.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 08:02 PM
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