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SpiteTomatoes Archive

View 7 posts and 155 comments by SpiteTomatoes on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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46

Totally get that. Why I included the (most). I can’t speak for every woman’s pleasure, but for many of us, it is not a comfortable or enjoyable experience for reasons outlined in the article above. No hate or disrespect for anyone with a different experience, I’m just commenting on what seems to be the majority.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/22 05:26 AM
34

👏👏👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/22 05:12 AM
89

Yeah, unfortunately I was with my share of guys like that when I was young. It’s obvious now, through time and a new lens, to see that my humiliation is what they liked… not me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/22 09:43 PM
171

Exactly! No woman that I know is gung-ho about anal sex. Which furthers my belief that men like it for the humiliation factor. Knowingly or not. Like other commenters said below, stimulation by fingers and tongue can be great, but anal sex is not comfortable for (most) women! And personally, I do feel it is unhygienic. There is a reason we wipe front to back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/22 09:41 PM
628

I automatically assume a man who pushes me for anal is porn sick. Never been wrong. Honestly, I think they feel like it is humiliating for a woman and they get off to that. That’s what porn programs a lot of men to feel. Satisfaction at a woman’s humiliation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/22 08:32 PM
92

Glad this ended up here. So you're telling me your man is incapable of grocery shopping and making his own lunch and expects it to be done for him? Weird flex, but ok.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 11:02 PM
7

One of the best things this sub did was teach me to focus on myself and not finding a relationship. My whole life I spent chasing and adjusting to someone else. Since I followed here, I have grown so much in my career and academic accomplishments and plan to work towards my PhD now. That is my focus. A man will fit in to that plan if he wants to and I happen to find him. But my life's purpose is now my success and happiness and what a beautiful mindset shift that has been.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 09:11 PM
10

Idk if I'm cool enough to walk out haha but I did decline to see him anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 09:38 PM
46

I've also been in situations when guys don't mention at all they are a father in their bio or conversations and only a date or 2 in do they tell you they have a child. I feel like that is something both men and women should be upfront about or it reads as a major red flag to me. How you gonna list all your hobbies, but not that you're a parent?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 06:07 PM
37

There was an article on the frontpage yesterday about how you can download an Android app to do the same thing and be alerted to airtags. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cnet.com/google-amp/news/android-users-get-this-apple-app-if-you-dont-want-airtags-tracking-you/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 03:21 PM
12

Unfortunately industry is insudious like that. I work in environmental science and it's truly terrifying how companies like Monsanto run almost every school's agricultural and weed science programs. porn is great and a necessary part of male development Lmaooo were men incapable of developing before porn? I know pornographic images have been around forever, but movies have only been around since maybe the 60s? Like, I think men developed just fine before that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 03:14 PM
143

I'm really interested in what future research has to say about the rise in accessibility and acceptability of (increasingly abusive) porn in our society and the correlation with erectile dysfunction and unsuccessful relationships. I will be astounded if the correlation is not statistically significant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 09:10 PM
3

The most romantic dates I've been on were planned by me pre-FDS before I learned dates were important to gauge a man's interest and effort. No one has ever lived up to my own date ideas. Not even close. E.g. an entire month long extravaganza of Christmas lights or a a trip somewhere new with a full itinerary (museums, sight seeing, concerts, etc.). I don't get why being thoughtful is so hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 02:52 AM
28

Honestly dating is so hard bc I do more romantic shit by myself than any man has tried to initiate w me. Never will forget being invited to paint a man's house for our second date. His house he and an ex bought together lmao Like, how hard is it to invite someone to a botanical garden or museum or something?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 03:12 PM
106

Sad af straight women have to have such bare minimums. Do men have to have bare minimums like that? If I was a man, I doubt the first question my mom would ask when finding out we're dating is if she is any way abusive. She asks me that bc my dad used to have major anger issues and so does my brother in law.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 03:05 PM
92

THIS is exactly why we should never fake orgasms. I've been with far too many men who think they are sex gods and basically do the same thing. Like, ow, that hurts, who taught you this was enjoyable?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 04:57 PM
149

"Just like that" Starts going faster and doing something completely different with his tongue 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 03:51 PM
19

I casually dated someone obsessed w Elon Musk, he actually worked for Tesla (as a salesman, nothing spectacular). He definitely was a devil's advocate kinda guy. The kind that questions any progressive policy in defense of billionaires continuing to be billionaires. You know the type. His house also smelled like wet dog 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 03:22 PM
4

Thank you, it's been a really fulfilling journey so far!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 06:38 PM
32

Today is my 30th birthday. I'm spending it with my parents, sister and her husband, and my nephew. My dad is making a seafood feast and afterwards I'm gonna play with some confetti poppers w my nephew. Tomorrow marks day 1 I will be going nicotine free, my final bad habit to kick. In 2021 I gave up alcohol, cigarettes (I'm vaping currently), weed, and started working out regularly. Looking forward to more self improvement in 2022😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 04:23 PM
2

Exactly, it's not the money spent as much as the thought that shows you know the person and listen to them. Everything I got them this year was small, but based on previous conversations and things they have said they liked and they both seemed excited w what I bought. My ex spent an absurd amount on a gift for me based on the fact we watched a movie together one time🤦 I never once said it was my favorite or I loved it or anything else, we just happened to watch it bc it was a Halloween movie on…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 07:05 PM
4

Nice! I wish I could spoil my parents but they have literally all they want and need except new iPhones and still being in school, it's just not in my budget. I'm saving up for some airpods for my mom for mothers day though 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 02:11 PM
7

Omg same! Then he still tried hitting me up after getting in a new relationship when I downloaded snap🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 02:57 AM
51

Literally sent links!!!! Got some random shit that is only tangentially related to my interests instead. "I thought you'd like it!!" 🙄 screeches internally
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 06:34 PM
17

You are not fucked up for thinking that bc in my experience, that's what tends to happen. I was working on saving up to help my ex pay off his carelessly accrued CC debt only for him to cheat on me 2 days after I put a deposit down on a wedding venue with my own money. Luckily, I got it back and never spent a cent towards his debt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 05:45 PM
328

I always find it funny they refer to us as female incels. I went on Hinge and had to stop comments after 24 hours bc I was so overwhelmed by the number. I can literally get as much dick as I want and that makes them so mad bc I choose not to bc I see it for what it is - Abundant and low value. They insist we just want free dinner too??? Like, god forbid a woman would like to be treated to a nice date to confirm the man will treat her as a priority and is serious in his intentions. My biggest tak…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 05:42 PM
140

Yep. This is my first Christmas in a long time single and not reeling from a recent breakup. I bought myself a bunch of fancy skincare items and have been having spa nights all month. So much better than wasting money on an SO who buys you what he thinks you want instead of, y'know, what you specifically said you wanted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 05:35 PM
11

I'm not putting my face on their face The amount of times I have kissed a guy and broken out 🤢 I will never waste my breath trying to teach someone how to have good skin care again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 06:03 AM
2

Thank you so much for posting this. I'm not a podcast person, but the title intrigued me so I downloaded Audible to listen and... I may now be a podcast person. I am trying very hard to focus on being my best self and not have FOMO about relationships in the meantime and this is super helpful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 06:42 AM
82

I've found most men aren't into me when I relay to them I have my own life and need lots of alone time. I personally am ok with this. You want me to be helpless and need you constantly? Sounds exhausting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 10:20 PM
25

I feel like maybe this is silly, but what might you say in this situation where he insists he wants to "get you off," but in reality it's not and it's starting to hurt? I've been in situations where I feel like I was clear about how I felt, but I wasn't listened to, and I am bad at sticking up for myself so I allowed the situation to continue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 09:56 PM
4

He was literally the most insecure person I ever met yet somehow was constantly doing shit like this to feed his ego. How can you feed it so much and still be so insatiably hungry? I honestly kinda forgot about it until I saw this comment so I think that's a good sign. I just needed to vent bc fuck him and his couch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 07:07 PM
10

I need advice on moving past this... So a couple years ago I broke up with my ex fiance after he cheated bc he was a porn addicted loser. After the very not amicable breakup, I told him when he tried to make polite conversation with me months later through text "Do not contact me unless you find something else of mine." And that was that. Until a couple weeks ago. He tries to add me on my new snapchat🙄 Cue the old block and delete. But I did end up snooping to see if he was still in a relationsh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 02:11 AM
11

Love this! My IBS almost only acts up when I have gluten or my body/mind is stressed. When I first started dating my NV ex, I was having pretty frequent bouts of attacks. That was the first sign before my brain really even caught on to any other flags.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 09:03 PM
20

I give them all four letter nicknames lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 01:25 AM
88

There was a post on here a while back that I really liked that's semi related.. Every time he fucks up, erase a letter from his contact. Once he is all out of letters, he is out of chances. I definitely have some Js and Ms in my contact list I no longer talk to😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 10:24 PM
23

Thank you FDS for giving me confidence in my standards. I don't like sleeping with men until we have gotten to know each other at least a few months or are committed. I've gone on a couple dates with a seemingly HV guy, but he pretty much ghosted me after finding that out. Thanks for showing your true colors, dude. Are my standards too high or are you just too low? The answer is always the latter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 12:27 AM
6

Probably that too which is hilarious bc my bestie is the one who set us up
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 04:33 PM
93

My NVX definitely lacked in a lot of ways physically. He didn't workout and it was obvious, really. When we met, I was going to the gym regularly, best shape of my life, receiving random compliments on my physique from other women type shit. He made me feel guilty for going to the gym with a man (my bestie, a former boxer who basically personally trained me) and slowly stole away all my time until I quit my routine. Looking back, he was just trying to stop me from being even more good looking th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 02:11 AM
51

Oh, please dump his ass. Coming from a reforming pickmeisha. I get the whole sunk cost fallacy, "it's hard" thing... But you are worth so much more than this situation. And after you get through the fears and the tears and you do some reflection... You will be so proud and happy for being strong and moving onward and upward. We are here for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 02:00 AM
18

Even though regulating them is for legitimate reasons like protecting women from their sexual harassment. But my reasons are legitimate!! I can't control muh penis around pretty women and that makes me feel bad, and it's THEIR FAULT!!" #BanWomen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 01:56 AM
8

Literally I am always a single phone call or swipe away from getting dick if I actually wanted it. What are your fucking options, bro?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 01:51 AM
9

Good for you! Love the response, classic. I try so hard to be handy, but the last 2 shelves I put up fell off the wall (yes, I used butterflies) so I'm waiting on my dad to come help me put them back up to avoid more damage. I am quite experienced in patching up walls now though, at least.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 01:43 PM
9

My NV ex was as porn sick as they come. He would make me feel horribly guilty if I didn't want sex Every. Single. Night. Despite my pleas telling him my libido was low, especially due to my medications and that having sex too often physically hurt me. This was before discovering FDS obviously and way too many times I would give in and just take it- Completely zoning out and feeling like a sex doll rather than a human. Looking back, it was pretty much coerced rape. As far as moving forward- That …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 12:10 AM
117

And if you're not smiling, don't worry, they will surely tell you to. From the comments here, men assume smiling= "I'm attracted to you" so apparently when men are telling me to smile what they are really saying is, "Be attracted to me"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 12:02 AM
46

I've heard so many ridiculous things about this sub on reddit. That we use men for their money and are gold diggers. Despite the fact we preach achieving financial stability and never being reliant on a man for income. That we expect men to be our therapists, but what we actually encourage is focusing on your own mental health and being stable before trying to date. That most of us are female incels with nothing to offer and that's why we are single. When really, we could have as much dick as we…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 12:15 PM
26

So tired of men in school group chats giving me unsolicited advice. I ask a pretty basic question and they give me advice that has nothing to do with the question, but makes me look like a fucking idiot. For instance, asking for class recommendations to fill up my schedule and being told not to ask students for scheduling advice, but to see my advisor. Yes, obviously my plan is to see my advisor before scheduling classes, I just wanted to know if anyone had taken an interesting class they recomm…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 12:10 PM
43

I just put my 2 weeks in at one of my jobs, they were overworking me to death. I hope you get to feel that sense of relief soon!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 07:56 PM
12

Nothing out of the ordinary, but continue to work on my education and studying hard. My TA position starts up again this week and will help me continue to learn how to be a better communicator and mentor- I'm working towards becoming a professor, I will be applying for grad school next fall! What is the program you've been using? Sometimes I would rather walk than run and would love a walking program. I use Couch25k when I run.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 07:55 PM
5

I am... Extremely hard working Fiercely independent Empathetic Passionate and educated in my interests and beliefs Witty and smart A great aunt Caring and nurturing A great friend and listener Thanks OP, this is a great exercise and much better focus ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 07:14 PM
8

To be fair, we don't really know she's pregnant. This whole article is a bunch of speculation and it's The Sun- Not exactly a reputable source. Not defending his actions here, but she isn't confirmed pregnant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 07:05 PM
6

Love this for you! I was in the same boat, changed my major multiple times and my career path within a major many times as well. I just recently have decided what I want to do and am dead set in it. My biggest piece of advice, the one that made me finally make a decision, is to reach out to people in the field/job you are considering and ask them about what is worrying you. If you are worried about a toxic work environment, pay, success, etc, they will be able to give you a great perspective on …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 02:40 PM
21

Some guy at the gas station the other day hollered at me.."You single or got a man?" As if being single signified he automatically had a chance. I said I had a man just to get away from him, but looking back I've decided if I'm asked this again I will say, "Single, but I don't want you!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 05:42 PM
129

Let me just say my dad was not always HV and he still has his moments. That being said, he definitely has done some very HV things. To start, he waited a very long time to have sex with my mom. She asked him after 3 months if it was because he wasnt attracted to her bc she wasn't used to this. He said to her that he just wanted to take his time and get to know her first. Throughout their relationship he has always treated her with respect with sex and never been demanding or demeaning in this ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 05:34 PM
45

Personally my reason for avoiding sex is because there are too many pornsick losers out here. I will hold off sex until a real, solid relationship is formed to (try and) guarantee they are after me for the right reasons. The red pill movement definitely cut down on the pool of potential men, but that pool is still filled with plenty of guys who only want a woman to live out their depraved fantasies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 05:05 PM
301

This guy is delusional thinking he is the one choosing not to have us as his queen. No, son, we don't want you, sit down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 01:23 PM
59

The only question my mother cares about when I meet a new man is if he is angry or violent. The standards are so low.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 09:55 PM
203

I went on a date recently and between the first and the second, he asked if I would be willing to come over and help him paint his house🤡 If we haven't even gone on a second date and you already expect me to help take care of your house, what are your expectations going to be of me when we are serious?!? I'm not gonna stick around and find out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 12:46 PM
82

Why would I care about a man who is not useful to me in some way? Men only care about women being useful for them. They want us to contribute 50/50 and often be their bangmaid and childcare. Honestly, I ask for much less from men than they tend to ask of me.. And that's with having what society deems "high standards."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 12:41 PM
24

Don't forget his adopted Hispanic son!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 01:16 AM
78

Yes, how abusive. But my ex demanding I stayed clean shaven for him at all times despite the discomfort constant shaving causes, definitely not abusive /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 02:06 AM
176

Woman are almost exclusively valued for what they can do for men and as sex objects. Want to talk about a rough transition from childhood to adolescence? How about going from a child to being sexually objectified in every aspect of your life and suddenly being expected to take care of all your own chores while a majority of boys don't have such expectations put on them until they move out. But go head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 02:02 AM
26

As a closer at a restaurant... Apparently, I work with a bunch of narcissists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 01:59 AM
7

Oh, I wasn't really suggesting she make sandwiches. That was a sarcastic remark. She should definitely leave him lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 06:11 AM
470

Will eat two of the shittiest fast food restaurants, but demands she makes complex meals that take hours to prepare. This guy is just an asshole, not picky. You want Subway? Fine, cold cut sandwiches every night it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 04:09 AM
174

100% this. I mentioned to my ex that I had done anal before, but found it uncomfortable and did not enjoy it. His response was to be offended that I had done it before with other people, but refused with him. He mentioned it throughout our entire relationship as if I would owe it to him one day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 10:12 PM
9

It's not just male doctors either. I once went to a female doctor bc I had been having bouts of extremely severe and debilitating stomach pain. Like, so bad, I had to leave class and literally lied on the public bathroom floor in the fetal position crying and couldn't move. When seeing this doctor, I wasn't in pain at the time, but was at my wits end trying to get a diagnosis (had already had lots of tests at the ER) and I was crying out of pure frustration. She told me I needed to get my mental…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 09:42 PM
116

Dude, even my coworkers offer to pick me up Starbucks when they go to grab some. We aren't even friends, just acquaintances
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 09:34 PM
6

It's definitely not a guarantee of a HVM, but it weeds out a lot of men when you mention being gluten free. Their reaction alone says a lot. Always a good sign when they ask genuine questions to better understand how they can accomodate you in the future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 01:17 AM
2

I always let him pick. If he chooses something and I am unsure of its safety, I will ask for him to choose something else, though that's never been an issue for me (I live in a large city with a lot of places that offer GF). If he asked for a resource, I would happily direct him to findmeglutenfree.com and see if he pays attention to the % that say it's celiac friendly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 01:14 AM
1

The discussion is never "this is when you can expect sex," it's that this is the minimum amount of time before it will even be considered. I personally feel this has weeded out a lot of LVM
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 01:05 AM
3

Honestly, by the second date I am going to mention my sexual expectations and question theirs. I won't be extremely blunt, but I will work it into conversation. It's pretty easy to pick up when a man's main motive is sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 11:42 PM
5

This is honestly the exact reason I was on the fence about trying to figure out more. It was obvs a candid answer on an askreddit thread from a while ago. Has he learned and grown is the real question. He seemed surprised, but respectful and accepting when I mentioned I don't have sex until at least 3 months dating. To me, that is a good sign of someone who will respect my boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 11:12 PM
26

A while ago I made a post asking about red flags to vet for and got so many great answers if you wanna check it out! I'm trying to slowly work out a list of the important info to find out ASAP, but I'm sure everyone prioritizes things differently. Edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/femaledatingstrategy/comments/nkgklb/_/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 10:26 PM
39

Yes! It is important your partner respects, understands, and is thoughtful when it comes to allergens. If he can't handle the bear minimum of keeping you alive and healthy, there is no reason he is around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 10:18 PM
67

I really hope this helps someone here honestly! You can switch it up to whatever you need- Vegan, hate onions, allergic to something, etc. It quickly lets you know who is willing to prioritize you and your needs. Regardless of that, I always insist the first date is a dinner date and he makes the plans.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 10:15 PM
46

As we all should. I bet it takes that man 2 hours to poop. Eat some fiber, dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 09:55 PM
245

Lucky for me (not really lol), I have celiac and insist on first dates that are dinner dates I don't have to plan. Any man worth his salt will plan the date and ensure I have adequate options. Any man who finds this too difficult is not worth my time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 09:36 PM
2

I personally prefer the Michael Scott approach of 3 years' salary. Just kidding, but I agree with you OP, a woman should never settle for a ring as much as she should never settle for a man. If you truly want to be with me for the rest of your life, show me that by getting me a ring I will be happy with for the rest of my life. Personally, I don't wear jewelry and this is the only expensive piece I will ask for- Cheaping out on it is pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 09:26 PM
12

I make it pretty clear if the first couple dates are going well that I partake in what I call "the Sharon Jones rule-" 100 days, 100 nights to know a man's heart. The minimum amount of courting we will do before I have sex is 3 months. This weeds out a lot of men pretty fast. In all honestly, I don't adhere strictly to this bc things sometimes happen naturally, but if you arent willing to at least wait that long, idc, bye👋
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 09:11 PM
120

I'm a waitress and wanted so bad to let this girl know she needs to move on and do better, but obvs that would be extremely inappropriate. She was absolutely adorable, he was a 5/10 in a Hawaiin shirt with nasty gym shoes. I work at a high end steak house, he ordered a burger well done with no vegetables (Bruh, at least eat some lettuce, geez). She paid for the date. Girl. RUN!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 08:57 PM
6

Men continue to do what they've done for centuries. Be destructive assholes and then blame the devastation they cause on women. It's been their go to forever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 08:23 PM
11

You all are right. I just needed to hear it, he checked all my other boxes so I was being stupidly hopeful. Oh well, back to doing me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 12:37 PM
11

NoT aLL MeN!!1!! But definitely all women and we should never, ever let it go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 12:35 PM
24

Ugh you're right though. It was nice to have a decent date, but I need to read the flags. Thank you❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 05:22 AM
91

Random bitching here but I'm so fucking tired of hearing about Amber Heard. Like, ok, maybe she was a POS who abused Johnny Depp and abusers deserve to be called out, but if Reddit spent the same amount of energy posting about men who did the same thing to women, well, we would have no reprieve from posts about men assaulting women and pretending to be victims. The circlejerk is so annoying. Not to downplay what Johnny went though at all, just like, do we only care when this happens to men?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 05:12 AM
59

Should I just end it now? I already know the answer prob but would like some input. Went on a first date last week. He ended up giving me an easy way to find his reddit username so I went ahead and did a dive. The post that concerns me... There was an askreddit thread asking if men who discovered porn young were negatively impacted. His basic answer was yes and it has caused him to be bored with "normal" sex when in relationships. A part of me really wants to dive deeper and see if this is a rea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 04:56 AM
5

video games/weed/porn/Mountain Dew The foul four🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 09:21 PM
3

Why would you lie about that?!? I will never change my plans and life for a man again. Honestly bc of my decision to stay with someone I am 2 years behind in my degree now. They're never worth it. A real man tries to fit his life around you if he loves you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 09:18 PM
3

There is nothing like having the apartment to yourself after you get him out. Aaah. Sweet relief and bliss.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 09:14 PM
4

Thank you everyone for your comments! Definitely some red flags here I never thought to screen for before and I really think your are helping me learn to be better at vetting. My own absolute nos: Performs porn moves in bed/watches porn. Wants sex constantly. Makes you feel bad that you have a low libido, especially when the reason is bc of the medications you take. Also, bc of this, I make it very clear I need romance to get me going at all. Candles, music, it's not much. He would turn on the T…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 08:58 PM
42

Oh gross, I'm sorry. Scrotes love to attach themselves to your life and hobbies to look good. Never fall for a man without his own passions and hobbies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 06:43 AM
22

Good for you. You deserve the very best and as much attention as you give. That last sentence all the way
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 06:40 AM
10

Is coal rolling environmentally friendly?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 05:23 AM
50

Oh man. Lots of 🚩🚩🚩 I really cannot stand that most my exes would whine about their life they did nothing to improve, I gave them guidance and advice all for what🤡 For them to up and find a new girl once they got it together. The moment a man whines about his life... I am NOPE! Outta there. There is no whining. Fix it or get over it- I am not here to help you do the former
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:55 AM
13

I definitely have cut back on what I share with her unless it is feeling serious for that reason. I love my mom, but she was raised that if a man so much as takes you out, you owe him something. I'm just grateful that my dad turned out to be a somewhat HVM in the end but lord knows she put up with a bunch of bullshit before he got it right. I refuse to deal with a bunch of bullshit for that reason. I experienced my dad being LV when I was a kid- I refuse to ever put a kid in a similar predicamen…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:46 AM
13

I can totally get behind this! One thing FDS has really helped me with is learning who I want to be when no one is around and learning how to focus my energy on myself. I definitely have some history to re-write.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:36 AM
49

Ugh I had a whole discussion with my friend today about how women have been duped by the media to fall for the "just can't get it right, kinda a mess, needs your motherly help" kinda man. When people wonder why I'm single its like... Look around, these motherfuckers are helpless. I am not your mom and I will not take on that role.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:33 AM
31

Yes, I completely agree! It can be frustrating being raised by such a pickme (I swear I love my mom to death but...). She will always act like I'm being mean when I decide I'm not attracted to a man anymore. She acts like I led him on and I despise that. I got to know them, didn't like them, then moved on. What is wrong here??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:31 AM
44

Men on dating sites: "Really into protecting the environment" Vs. What they mean: "I like to smoke weed and play disc golf and literally that is my entire involvement in the environment"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:26 AM
11

Such a great vibe! No looking back on the past, but seeing how we can improve in the future- I love to see it. Any advice on fostering these attitudes?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:24 AM
45

I appreciate this. I hate that my family always calls me out for being non-commital. Like, I just don't put up with the bullshit and one red flag is enough, is there something wrong w that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:20 AM
52

Ew. Sure sign of porn sickness. Unfortunately I don't think most men will ever understand the need of woman to feel safe, protected, and loved during sex. They just wanna live out their video fantasies. I'm sorry you went through that but love the block and delete!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:18 AM
37

So proud of you. He sounds like a hot pile of garbage. The 'only being touched when they want sex' hits so close to home for me. My ex would literally only be interested in me if it led to sex. It's so incredibly dehumanizing. I'm sorry about everything you went through.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:14 AM
1

I love Ella, hadn't heard this before, thank you! The meanest gal in town Leather is tough, but Hannahs heart is tougher Shes a gal who loves to see men suffer To tease them and thrill em To torture and killem Is her delight they say I saw her at the seashore with a great big pan There was Hannah pourinwater on a drownin man This sent me haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 08:06 PM
4

Ofcourse! I love finding and sharing FDS songs, especially old classics. I made a comment here before, but other favorites of mine: All Or Nothing At All - Billie Holiday End Of Our Road - Gladys Knight 100 Days, 100 Nights - Sharon Jones You Keep Me Hangin On - The Supremes It's pretty hard to finding older songs that aren't about pining for a boy, especially Motown and Blues songs which I really like, but I'm always trying to branch out and expand this list.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 06:28 PM
8

So I just found this song through YouTube and after looking into it more I found this site that talks about the history of this song and the original singers if anyone is interested.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 12:30 AM
50

Yes! I have a very obvious aesthetic and if you care to really pay attention, it's not hard to find me things I like. I dated one guy who always bought me what he thought I would like and it was never remotely within the ballpark of what I had specifically shown and asked for. Gift giving really shows whether a man actually cares about what you really want or need and pays attention or just sees you "as every other woman" who likes "what every other woman likes."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 08:10 PM
100

Can microwave something or even boil spaghetti Hell no. He better be able to create delicious meals. That's my bare minimum. And don't get me started on men who "are willing to learn." I am not here to teach you, you should have already learned how to prepare a grocery list and meal plan for the week.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 08:03 PM
5

Why is this an exact description of my last LTR??? Good thing I left the first time he cheated and we didn't have kids. So glad I found FDS after that. Though I still have a long way to go in my pickme recovery.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 09:49 PM
39

Thank you. You're right. It's time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 02:34 AM
1

Thanks! I actually went through a really hard time this fall with everything switching to 100% online last minute. My program isn't very competitive and I really was excited to meet other students especially after I did my tour and was told most are non-traditional like me. Unfortunately, most in my extracurriculars I tried tended to be very young. Great people who I loved meeting, but hard to form a bond w someone in such a different life stage. I'm hoping with the vaccine and more in person cl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 03:49 AM
2

Never heard of the website. I may try that out. Thanks! I wish I worked in person, I'm sure some of the graduate students I worked with would have been cool but we literally only speak through email so kinda hard to develop a friendship that way
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 03:19 AM
7

How do you meet HV girlfriends? So I am 29 and moved to a new city during COVID. I currently work and go to school from home so I can't meet anyone there really. I tried joining some clubs and met some nice people but most were very young (like 18/19) and I'm hoping to meet people who are closer to my age. I don't go out much, I'm rather introverted and bars aren't really my scene. I just wanna meet someone who will do friend dates with me- Cooking, baking, crafts, hiking, watching trash TV. I h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 03:09 PM
1

The OG three month rule, God bless her soul
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/21 04:24 AM
6

Can I add some of my classic FDS favs? The End of Our Road - Gladys Knight Break up with him girl, Gladys knows best 100 Days, 100 Nights Vet, vet, vet, and keep vetting him no matter how HV he may appear You Keep Me Hangin' On - The Supremes Tell him to be a man about it and leave you alone. Boy, bye!👋 All or Nothing at All - Billie Holiday No halfway love, no situationship. Adore and worship me or nothing at all
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 07:10 PM
4

Omg yesss. Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 09:36 PM
11

Perfect conversation. I'm dying. Good for you. I'm living on student wages right now, but I bought myself donuts and iced coffee and enjoyed the weather on the porch the other morning. Life without dusty men is so peaceful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 09:35 PM
3

I concur. They are the first sign of spring here and always make me so happy 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 09:34 PM
12

Yesssss. So much this. It has taken me far too long to learn to treat myself. I also bought a sansevieria plant when picking these up. You should never have to justify spending money on what brings you joy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 09:33 PM
32

Completely agree(: They are tulips that just started to droop and open up. Best time of year for fresh ones!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 06:58 PM
7

I'm dying right now. I forgot about when I was 20 I moved across the US and was a broke bitch and went out on dates for food lmaoooo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 06:07 PM
12

I have come to the conclusion I have been wasteful of my time searching endlessly for 'it,' for 'the one.' Y'all, I am it, I am the fucking one. I have been working 12-14 hour days for 3 months non stop. 2 jobs, 18 credit hours with an A in every class, making dinner every night, keeping my house clean, taking care of my cat and plants. Why tf do I ever act like I need a man when I am capable of bringing everything to the table myself? I'm about to pull myself out of this situationship today. I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 05:42 PM
47

I'm so sorry. My ex was the same way. Was determined a ring meant I was to say yes to something I made clear made me uncomfortable. One of many red flags I will no longer ignore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 06:05 AM
122

Oh, well if you like it so much, you first! pulls out strap on
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 05:13 AM
258

Also "bUt yOUVe dOnE iT BefORe" which is why I never divulge my sexual history anymore. Just bc I did it in the past doesn't mean I owe it to you in the future. Better to just never mention it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 05:11 AM
574

The moment a man mentions anal I am out. The ones who do are always obsessed with it and pressure you for it. Sure sign of a porn obsessed man who doesn't care about your pleasure, comfort, or boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 02:52 AM
16

I take dicyclomine if I have a bad flareup. It makes me really drowsy so I don't take it regularly. I personally feel stress management, exercise, and quitting alcohol have improved it as well but when I flare up it is still reeealllyyy bad so having pills on hand is amazing. They take about 30 minutes to an hour to kick in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 09:03 PM
60

I was literally on the floor crying and hada Dr tell me I needed my mental health checked out, as if I was faking it. Finally found a Dr who took me seriously and it turns out I have severe IBS which is pretty easily treated with medicine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 06:08 PM
3

Idk how they are going to get through this honestly. Such a travesty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 05:23 PM
38

It makes me so sick that instead of questioning his choices that lead him to own this collection, he is just upset he lost it. Fuck all the women hurt in the process, what about meeee??!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 04:13 AM
7

Yuuuppp. My ex was very feminine. It made me believe he was a good guy, but he turned out to be porn sick, sexually, and mentally abusive. Just bc he isn't afraid to be feminine doesn't mean anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 05:09 PM
3

Yeah. Good point. We could make it private and approve people, but I don't put it past guys to fake being a woman to get in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 04:04 PM
6

Same. There's clearly a decent amount of us here. Maybe we should start like.. An FDS Friends sub to try to meet each other. Maybe some of us live near each other?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 02:59 PM
4

Wow. I can't believe my entire life I've been unaware I am this dude's alarm clock and not a living, breathing human at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 03:26 AM
240

Just saying my vibrator has never given me a yeast infection soo...🤷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 02:00 AM
6

Oh I definitely don't now. But back then I felt like maybe I was being bitchy. In reality, I see now, he was inconsiderate and instead of apologizing put the blame on me. How else am I supposed to respond? lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 01:58 AM
8

Thanks to all the replies like this bc for a long time after I actually felt kinda bad about my response. Now it is clear how entirely appropriate it was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 01:54 AM
3

Like someone else said.. Probably the better take away from this isn't even "no coffee dates" as much as no dates unless there are concrete plans. Time, date, place or gtfo my face.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 01:52 AM
158

100% this. I wish I had discovered FDS sooner. Luckily I know my worth now, more specifically the worth of my time. I can't believe what I used to put up with lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 03:17 PM
137

Cheers to us dodging bullets like Neo. I'm so glad I'm no longer doing the OLD thing. What a waste of time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 03:12 PM
99

$20 says I would have had to pay for my own coffee
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 03:10 PM
42

Lololol my ex after I went off on him for cheating, "I know what I did was wrong, but your reaction was over the top." No, Daniel, what's over the top is the idea another woman wanted your tiny penis. Gtfoh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 03:03 PM
1

This is all great advice. I'm definitely screenshotting conversations. Particularly where I say "shouldn't we follow [instructions]?"and they all say it doesn't matter. I will start tracking my progress as well. I wish they would just actually do their work, but there's at least 2 who obviously aren't going to try at all. I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt but recommending we shortcut using the professor's example made me lose all hope😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 06:19 PM
427

Hey guys. My husband just called me a subhuman and said he doesn't care about my existence so long as whatever happens to me benefits him. So should we CoMmUnICaTe more? I need advice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 03:37 PM
42

This is the best thing this sub taught me. Don't waste your time and energy. As soon as you need to write a paragraph, it is time to block and delete. My life is so much better bc this advice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 05:00 PM
17

If she died he should have been held responsible for her death. Too bad that wouldn't actually happen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 04:53 PM
2

Oh yeah, I am aware. My specific field is actually split pretty even between guys and girls at least, but this class is mostly guys bc it's also taken by a lot of male dominated majors (agriculture, forest and fisheries, etc.) Thank you sis, your words mean a lot!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 02:56 PM
1

Do you have any suggestions? Like, should I email the prof? Only 1 person needs to turn in the final project so I'm definitely trying to make that me since the deadline is strict.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 02:52 PM
6

Lmao I love how men act as if their dick is supposed to be impressive to me. It is the most abundant and low value thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 03:58 PM
63

In general I think Ariana is pretty low value. I mean... Break up w your girlfriend cause I'm bored? What kinda sheisty gross ish is that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 03:55 PM
16

Y'all. I got assigned a group project in one of my STEM classes with 5 guys, I'm the only girl. Half of them are absolutely incapable of following directions. One suggested we pick the same topic the professor used as an example. Like, no Ryan, you cannot use the example which has already been done for you. And all of them act like I'm being a bitch when I point out that the ideas they are suggesting simply do not follow the instructions we were given, like at all. I need prayers and good vibes …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 04:59 PM
29

I wish there was a site where you can put out an alert for girls in your area about your LV ex bc lord knows I have him blocked everywhere and will never know who he's dating lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 02:50 AM
66

Can someone please explain when men began deciding 3x a day was some type of goal? My ex used to go off on me bc we "didn't have enough sex" bc he was used to getting it 3x a day in his previous relationship. Uh, what??!! My vagina can hardly handle once a day, it is not meant for anymore than that and that is pushing it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 03:38 PM
20

Good for you for cutting ties, I hope it gets better soon. Personally it made me realize what a pickmeisha my mom is and how I learned a lot of my pickme traits from her. For instance this conversation... "One day I would like to be covered in tattoos from the neck down" To which she replied, "yeah, but do men like that?" Now Idk what old pickme would have said, but thanks to FDS I came back with, "Do I care what boys think? Also, I will still have a vagina, so yes, boys will like me" I will say…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 01:43 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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