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StainedGlassCat Archive

View 0 posts and 64 comments by StainedGlassCat on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
141

Sunken cost fallacy. You believe you've invested in this man, and because of that, you don't want to throw the whole relationship away. However, men are not assets, and your investment of time into a man is not an indication of the quality of the relationship. This man does not love you. Read that again. This man does not love you. You know it. You've posted here because you know it. Don't fool yourself into thinking there's something you can do, or should have done, to change this. You deserve …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 09:18 PM
32

It isn't kidnapping if there is not custody agreement in place in most states. So, for the time being, she can take the child and go. She has quite a fight in her future, though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/22 03:55 AM
75

Imagine if you had a friend who was like "I don't like my chicken cooked properly, I like a little bit of food poisoning." And then every time she gets food poisoning she runs to you. This is the same. You don't need to be around to cleanup when she gets sick off the meals she keeps choosing, and maybe she will make an effort to pick something else if she realizes no one wants to hang out with someone who keeps making themselves sick. I know people are saying maybe talk to her about therapy, but…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 11:31 AM
340

"If he wanted to, he would." It always comes back to this. Every single time. I no longer even entertain a thought about the men who play these games, because I know the ultimate truth. If he wanted to, he would. He didn't, so I'm out. Still vetting, but the man I'm dating right now has risen to every occasion, is always respectful and kind, has never left me feeling anxious or questioning where we stand, and is clear and consistent in his communication. This is just how people behave when they …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 12:03 PM
9

"Hi, this is my friend X, she dates racist, sexist men but when she is single she spends time with me!" Does that sound like a good way to introduce someone? Is that a friend you would be proud to introduce to people? If she is dating racist men, she is racist. If she is ditching her "friends" every time a new man is in her life, she is telling you exactly where you stand in her world. She is obviously a pickme extreme, and beyond that, shows quite a few LV traits. Part of leveling up is removin…
/r/askFDS30/12/21 01:25 PM
118

FDS got me off that ride with one resounding truth: If he wanted to, he would.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 12:55 PM
98

$50 says the dad is obese, bald, and and has health issues but would describe himself as "athletic" because he did football for a year in high school.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 11:56 AM
97

He understands. He absolutely understands. Look at the way he speaks in this post. It has that tone men love to use, where they stay very calm and "logical" and make the woman out to sound ridiculous. He's angry his bangmaid has started having opinions, and is voicing them. They don't want your mind, your opinions, your boundaries. They just want your body and your labor, and how dare you attempt to step out of place? This post sends chills down my spine, and I hope she gets out because this is …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 12:44 PM
47

Men ask you on these dates because you are one of many they see as an option, they are low effort and cheap, and they aren't that into you and are just seeing if you'll put out. When men ask me for coffee or anything less than a dinner (or otherwise well planned) date, I don't even respond to decline. It's an immediate block and delete. First, if they were into me, they wouldn't go so low effort. Second, I'm not about to teach these LVM how to trick the next woman. There are no exceptions to thi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 11:54 PM
58

Also, no chance the wall is a narcissist who is using your continued attempts to "communicate" as a ammunition to further triangulate/manipulate/control you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 08:30 PM
43

I was recently dating a man for several months who paid for every date, but would mention that he has money somewhat frequently. I broke things off when we became official and I saw where he lived. He claimed he had built his own home. It was literally a shed behind his parents house with no plumbing and only a microwave for a kitchen. "I have money." Ok. Well, maybe spend some so the next woman doesn't break up with you for living in a hovel. Ridiculous. Oh, by the way, people who are financial…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 03:58 PM
55

"How do you expect to build a relationship if you still have pictures with your ex or a bunch of guy friends?" = I am very insecure. I will try to get you into a relationship asap while I continue to shop around for other women. I will lose my mind anytime you even breathe near another man, because I know I'm a piece of shit and literally anyone else is better than me and a threat to our relationship that I'm forcing while I actively talk to other women/cheat on you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 07:30 PM
485

I'm going to go hard on this answer because I've spent the better part of 36 years learning the answer. Yes, your body is warning you. If you give yourself time to sit down and really sort through what is causing that feeling the moment you aren't with him, you'll start to realize it's a lot of little things he's doing. Words and actions not matching, small lies, affection that feels nice but is just a little off, etc. A healthy relationship doesn't leave you feeling anxious and empty, and won't…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 12:09 PM
36

Honestly? The waiting for the last straw thing did not work for me. I knew he was trash, I knew I was unhappy, but the trauma bond and need for closure kept me responding. My real last straw was when I realized how much time I had wasted on trying with him, when there was nothing to try for. I didn't want to be with someone I couldn't talk to, feel close to, and rely on. I didn't want to waste more time on his future faking lies, or trying to learn how to communicate with him in some magical way…
/r/askFDS19/10/21 10:55 AM
316

Men who are not creepy do not do this. Period. It doesn't matter how he found out. Unless you specifically told him and made plans for him to pick you up or see you at work, this is so far beyond inappropriate that I am scared for you. The fact that he then got angry at you for walking out of work with someone when he had the audacity to be stalking you from the parking lot, and he thinks YOU are at fault, makes me even more worried.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 02:05 PM
1016

The part where he "found out" where you work without you telling him and then SHOWED UP THERE WITHOUT ANY NOTICE to "surprise" you has me with my jaw on the floor. This is such a gigantic red flag. Please take it seriously that he did this and make sure you are protecting yourself. If your place of employment is listed on your social media it would be prudent to remove it, as men can and will use any information to stalk you. Stay safe!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 01:17 PM
2

When I was struggling with NC with my narc ex, I used to remind myself "Nothing is louder than the complete silence of a woman who once would have done anything just to speak to you." Keep it up, you've got this. It also helps to make a list of all the reasons they are toxic and can't be trusted and aren't good for you. You can read it when you have hard days where the good memories seem to keep intruding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 03:22 PM
9

Girl, that could play a role, but you know who could help you figure it all out? A good therapist. You sound like you're in absolute turmoil and emotional distress, and I know that's so uncomfortable and can be so maddening. It is a really hard, desperate mindset to be in and a therapist can help you gain insight, work through things, and achieve peace of mind. You really sound like you need to find inner peace, and you won't find that chasing relationships. Until you work through the things mak…
/r/askFDS20/09/21 08:26 PM
79

They went to school together and grew up together for the last decade or so. They are about the same age. He just looks terrible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 01:40 PM
20

Honestly if you cannot meet up with anyone, just take a break for now. The texting and not meeting builds false intimacy and you will end up having fake feelings for a loser without ever meeting him, and will be more willing to let red flags go. There's literally no point in talking to men you can't go on a date with because, again, who they are over text is so easy to fake they could be three cats in a trench coat and you wouldn't know until you meet them.
/r/askFDS09/09/21 08:24 PM
65

Be wary of this behavior. This sounds like he's either insecure or lovebombing. You cannot know someone from talking through text. Even if you've been talking for several weeks, many of these men can really keep the mask up through text but it slips on the date. Men who do this, especially before ever meeting you, are likely lovebombing and trying to create a false bond. Don't fall for it. Super genuinely nice, HV men don't do this. They will show their interest through actions, a good flow of c…
/r/askFDS09/09/21 11:42 AM
30

Depending on your state or country, him releasing this video is considered revenge porn and is a crime. The fact that her face is in it makes this even more the case. While we can't undo bad choices such as having sex on camera, there are legal avenues that can be pursued if he chooses to behave inappropriately.
/r/askFDS04/09/21 11:23 AM
187

"If he wanted to, he would" has given me so much peace. Dating is a lot easier when you remember that, and you can extract yourself with dignity rather than trying to "read the signs" from a man who just isn't going to put in the effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 11:37 AM
111

A gentle reminder: If he wanted to, he would. Truly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 01:19 AM
74

I literally won't walk to my mailbox in my pajamas and these men are out here almost naked giving interviews about why they buy sex with their whole face out. If I had even half of the audacity, I'd have conquered the world by now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 10:58 PM
37

I have found the best way to deal with this is to treat it like any other day, and to stop commemorating an anniversary that has no relevance in my life any longer. Thinking about the date, assigning it meaning, and planning around it only trains your brain to keep considering it an important or meaningful date. The relationship ended. There is no anniversary. It's just another day, treat it that way. Good job leveling up, keep at it, and know better things that ARE worth celebrating are in the …
/r/askFDS27/08/21 11:51 AM
363

I can't eat or drink when I read this sub because you ladies are going to kill me one day by making me choke from laughter. Bridge troll, groundskeeper, oh I love it. I love the accuracy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 04:57 PM
321

"Hello, welcome to healthcare, how can we gaslight you today?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 11:29 AM
84

HVM understand that dating is dangerous for women and will never ask a woman on a date in a secluded area. He will want her to feel safe and comfortable and will pick a place that is highly public and well lit, even at night. LVM/NVM don't seem to understand that asking a woman to meet in a secluded or private place, even if the intent isn't violence, is very telling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 12:55 PM
170

A lot of them lie to themselves by telling themselves they wouldn't have sex with anyone under 18 while neglecting that they definitely WANT to and the only thing stopping them is the stigma and possible prison time. I was watching a show about a woman who was 19, murdered by her 45 year old fiance. They didn't call him a pedophile, but they had been in a relationship for a while, and he definitely was a pedophile who groomed and then killed her. Heartbreaking, and even more heartbreaking that s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 11:59 PM
40

Advice like this has literally helped save my life from a narcissist. Great post, and absolutely on point. I love that you used examples and really explained the how and why of it - very helpful for people like me who already struggle with social cues, and are very at risk for this type of abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 06:00 PM
193

Yeah if they don't at least have a nice, big, dirty nest of unwashed clothes to sleep in I'm right out the door. In all seriousness, 100% your comment. This is why we don't ignore red flags! If you walk into a man's house and it looks like anything less than a nice living space, LEAVE. He lives in that. Imagine how much care he will (or rather, won't) put into a relationship if he can't even be bothered to make his living space decent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 11:40 AM
143

When LVM say they like "giving gifts" they really mean things the woman can use/wear to further the man's sexual fantasy. So, lingerie, sex toys, etc. Even an ice cream cone would probably be just to watch her lick it. Disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 09:16 PM
9

Therapy can help you address the underlying issues that lead you to making these sorts of decisions.
/r/askFDS15/07/21 09:37 AM
9

It sounds like you two already don't hang out one on one, so really just keep putting distance between the two of you, be polite when you have to be around her at group events, be too busy for one on one plans, keep answers to her messages very short and/or take days to respond. She will likely say something at some point, and I know many people believe honesty is the best policy, but you two share friends so I think it's best to just tell her you've been busy with work/new hobbies and are spend…
/r/askFDS14/07/21 07:09 PM
42

When I had OLD, mine said "I am financially stable and expect you to be financially stable as well." Still got messages from dudes renting rooms in houses at 38 years old who didn't even have access to an oven because the kitchen wasn't part of the deal in their rent agreement for the room. You can't even cook a frozen pizza and you're dating?! What even are your priorities?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 06:22 PM
45

Do men turn into a POS when they hit 50? No. They were a LVM their entire lives, and now they have lost any last whispers of youth and the desperation and denial are strong. HV people don't magically turn into a LV person. Fact is, as people get older, the LV people are easier to spot because they have generally (not always) run through their support systems and resources, so they aren't able to mask the LV tendencies as well anymore. Also, they never learned how HV people behave, so as we all g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 08:43 PM
302

He's ready to date all the time and live the single life....except actually he has this other woman in mind and wants a relationship with her and btw she is 20 years younger... They even gaslight themselves. It's unbelievable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 11:08 AM
127

"I can see your hesitancy..." THEN LEAVE, SIR. WHAT THE HELL. NVM like this really love knowing they're making a woman uncomfortable. Disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 12:42 PM
36

Your university should have counseling services available that you should look into. A therapist/counselor is likely your first step here, as you mentioned you lack an emotional support system and also seem to be struggling with anxiety and maybe depression. So, step one? Counseling/therapy. Step two would be to break up with and cease contact with the LV boyfriend. I would normally suggest this as a first step, but because of the context of your situation, I believe having a therapist for suppo…
/r/askFDS26/06/21 12:15 AM
136

This even applies if you marry a HVM who never mistreats you. What if he dies suddenly? Is your shit in order? Will you be left with nothing? With debt you can't afford? Are you in a position to live life alone if your partner died in a car accident today? Set yourself up to be ok no matter what, because things can go wrong even if you marry someone amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 06:59 PM
8

The one upside to having been a Pickme is that I dated so many LVM that now I can spot one from a mile away and it's like "Oh, no thank you, I've seen this movie before and I hated it."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 10:40 AM
70

What I've learned from observing my father, who is a HVM, is that the real green flag is when they don't even know they're green flagging. Men who do what is right and good because that's who they are, men who love you well because they LOVE YOU in their bones, men who never stop leveling themselves up even well into their 60s and beyond. Men who are good are good to their core, and it will shine through in every action they take. Being good and decent isn't a choice for these men. It is who the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 11:59 AM
47

I've learned in all the hard ways that vetting friends is 100% necessary and ignoring red flags just because they are female friendships and not potential romantic partners is a bad idea. LV people can, and happily will, ruin your life if you allow it. When I look back on some of those LV friendships now, I recognize that I wasn't only a pickme with men, I was a pickme with friends. Don't be a pickme, vet everyone in your life, and be prepared to walk away even if they "used to be HV" (they neve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 12:05 PM
9

It is a pickme mindset. Re-read the handbook and block and delete your crush so you can focus on yourself, leveling up, and being the best you that you can be.
/r/askFDS10/06/21 06:41 PM
35

When I was very young I did not understand why it bothered me so much to see the husbands in tv shows represented as overgrown children who had to be told what to do, constantly upset their wives, weren't really good at being parents, etc. It seemed so normalized on tv, but that is certainly not how things worked in my home. Now I know that it bothered me BECAUSE it was being normalized. As if this is how all relationships work, and this what all women put up with, and isn't it so funny? It make…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 02:29 AM
56

The first woman may not be whatever "conventionally pretty" is but the second woman is in more danger, ultimately. I say that because with men, it is almost always better to be unseen/ignored than to have to be in a position to reject their fragile ego and ignite their rage. I had always been a healthy weight prior to having to be on a medication for a while. While on the medication I gained a lot of weight. When I was able to go off it about 3 years later, I lost 100lbs in a year. The weight ga…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 12:37 PM
49

I want to address a couple of things here. Do not stay because you feel humiliated about moving back to your parents. You are in an abusive situation, and you need to get out. Your children matter a lot, and raising children around a narcissist is a great way to cause permanent trauma to them. If not for you, get out of there for them. You won't have access to anything if you stay. He will continue to suck you dry. Right now you don't even have access to a safe space, so be far less concerned wi…
/r/askFDS03/06/21 11:29 PM
66

He just needs a speech bubble that says "Well ACTUALLY..."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 11:21 PM
31

They also seem to be forgetting that for a very long time women couldn't own property, have a bank account, work outside the home, get a higher education, etc. This is still true in many places and cultures. Of course we needed a man who could provide for us, because we were legally prevented from providing for ourselves. Men love to forget the context behind these things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 01:18 PM
53

You know who was always on my ass about my money, my education, my future, and my goals? My parents. I don't want to be a parent to some man. If you can't motivate yourself I can motivate you as far as the door, please lock it on your way out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 02:32 AM
7

There is a quiet dignity in giving no explanation, no confrontation. Block, delete, and move on. Anything else is just explaining to him how to do it better with the next woman.
/r/askFDS28/05/21 12:34 AM
31

One of the things you learn in recovery from dating a narcissist is to forgive yourself for the times when you behaved in a way you regret. Trauma responses aren't logical and when you have been under pressure and abuse for so long it is not uncommon to snap. Forgive yourself. He will be back. Trust me on this. It doesn't matter what you said to him or if he blocked you and changed his number. He will be back. Do not let him back into your life. Do not doubt that it will be hard to ignore his ca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 02:25 AM
45

Ah yes, the Olfactory Assault. I believe poor diet that contains a lot of grease and dairy really contributes to this smell, and it cannot be washed off because showers do not remove sweat glands. Plus the men who have this smell tend to not wash their sheets, so they're just marinating in it every night.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 11:58 AM
226

Seriously, invited in at 2pm to spend the night? Sir, are you inviting me to a hostage situation? No thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 08:59 PM
53

Most men want what they can't have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 08:04 PM
123

I truly believe when men say "Imagine she was your mother/daughter/sister/girlfriend" what they are really saying is "Imagine if that was your property." It's kind of like if someone saw an awful car accident and all they could talk about was how much it must suck to total the car, while having zero concern for the people involved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 01:49 PM
61

Not to mention when your friends start having kids and you have to watch their struggle. My best friend married a LVM, and she suffers every day for it. They have three kids. I'd rather be dead than deal with the bs she goes through. She had to have her gallbladder out and he couldn't even watch their own kids for 8 hours. She got home from surgery and had to resume her routine like nothing happened. I sobbed for her that day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 12:50 PM
81

My dad, who is a HVM, once said to me "a man cannot be a feminist, because he is not a woman, and cannot truly understand the experiences of women." It stuck with me, and I believe he is right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 01:56 AM
13

These men basically advertise that they haven't met even the most basic standards of any women they've ever met or spoken to. We all remember the woman who was dating the grown man with a NEST, so it is really telling that these men can't even find a girlfriend. At the same time, the growing number of these men is giving me hope, because it means at least women are saying "No, I won't dig below basement level to get to the bar that would allow you over it."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 06:11 PM
31

The first time I stepped foot in a Texas Roadhouse I was a young girl with my family and all four of us were just so desperately confused about what was going on. I never knew food trash could count as décor and be so proudly and liberally scattered about the floor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 01:05 PM
48

...and after fooling these women they still had the audacity to ask to take fetish pictures of them! So creepy, on every level.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 11:41 AM
18

If the black sicklebill (from the documentary I think you're referring to) were human you know for a fact they would never in a million years be like "Hey girl, wanna get coffee?" They'd be out there building you a house and landscaping the surrounding area to your specific taste just to get your number while working on their dance moves. Even after that, the bird in the documentary still didn't impress the female. A true Queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 07:16 PM
68

OH that makes a lot of sense! I also noticed I rarely come across a female character that I can relate to at all, and that makes sense when you realize they're written by men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 08:10 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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