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Stitching Archive

View 8 posts and 68 comments by Stitching on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Thank you! I’m so glad to hear it helped!
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/24 11:45 AM
1

My advice is to get a lawyer and then start going through the stages of grief. Working toward acceptance.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 06:28 AM
-6

Because I found someone smart, caring, beautiful, funny, who appreciates me, etc? You just sound like you’re bitter. Someone as angry as you who feels the need to post about other people finding someone to be with as unwise and foolish etc is just trying to justify their aloneness and make it seem like some smart choice so they can feel better about it. I’m not getting remarried, I’m just enjoying having love in my life with a great woman. Sucks to be you!
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/24 04:01 PM
10

44m with major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. Getting on the right meds saved my life and you can look at my post history for all the other things that worked for me. Went from suicidal the first few months to feeling pretty damn great 8 months in.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 09:30 AM
15

To those newly going through an abrupt divorce that blindsided you and has you feeling like you’re going to be miserable forever… I’m reposting a comment I left earlier today that could help others going through misery after being recently blindsided by a divorce (with young kids in my case). You’re being too hard on yourself. Your divorce is completely fresh and you need to give yourself grace and allow yourself to feel the pain, the heartbreak, the fear, etc. You’re in the grieving process for…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 05:42 AM
3

This is such bad advice. Is this something you heard on a podcast or something. It’s such toxic, shameful, useless behavior. “Come back and let us know.” So you can get off on hearing the hurtful stuff he found? You’re a douchebag man. You don’t have a clue how to actually get through a divorce, you just know how to transfer your hurt to anger and fake masculinity.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 05:40 AM
2

I did the following and ended up joyful and optimistic 6-7 months into the divorce process after being suicidal the first 3-4 months.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 05:47 AM
2

You’re so tough!
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 08:17 PM
1

The denial stage lasted months for me.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 03:24 PM
1

Thank you. So far so good! 8 months into the process with a gorgeous gf and loving life!
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 03:23 PM
1

It’s not about “good for her” it’s about not your circus, not your monkey anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 02:21 PM
1

And yet 50%+ of marriages end in divorce. It is unfortunate. But I’m doing great now with a wonderful gf 8/9 months into the divorce process.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 06:43 AM
1

The coaches are fucking vampires preying on desperate people. When it’s over it’s over. There is no getting her back at this point. I’ve seen sooooo many people in denial for so long when it was obvious it was over and it was like watching a slow motion car accident over and over again.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 06:42 AM
1

Good for her. Other than the pleading aspect (if it affects you directly) what fucking difference does it make what she’s doing. The point is knowing the marriage is over and having that closure. Keeping tabs on your ex is a waste of time and prolongs your own healing.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 06:40 AM
3

I totally get how you want that but the reality it doesn’t fucking matter. None of that matters. If she had self-awareness she would have shown up and not gone straight to divorce. If she’s seeing someone then she’s seeing someone. None of that is going to make a fuck of a difference for your own healing so I advise you to stop giving a shit about the why and about her and what she’s doing now. Just focus on yourself and if you have kids then on them too. I’m 8/9 months in and was suicidal for t…
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 06:38 AM
2

No it doesn’t erase any pain but it can help you keep moving forward. I was suicidal the first few months. Now I’m 8/9 months in and have an amazing gf and love my time with my kids and things are really pretty great.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 06:32 AM
5

I’m actually happy and doing great now at 8 months in. Have a wonderful gf and love my time with my kids. It’s all good. Just wish I would have had this letter in the first couple months.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 11:47 PM
3

I took bits and pieces said over time and combined in the closure that would have helped me move on earlier.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 01:00 PM
1

Hi brother. I understand. It’s a big stage of grief to think you can change things.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 12:44 PM
4

😳
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/24 04:08 AM
1

Totally this.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 05:49 AM
0

No wonder she divorced you. You’re a fucking idiot.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 07:07 AM
0

Are you retarded? Have you ever heard of suicide? You’re such a huge moron.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 07:06 AM
1

You couldn’t be a bigger idiot.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 07:05 AM
0

Ok advice. Not the worst. But number 7 is so incredibly ignorant. Are you a Scientologist or something? Fucking retarded.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 07:05 AM
0

If I was your ex, I’d leave a moron like you too.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 07:04 AM
0

Wow, a total moron. You probably think you being ugly isn’t real either. Mo-ron.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 07:03 AM
-1

You’re a moron. The gym is great. And you’re still a moron.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 07:02 AM
15

I’m 44, 7 months into divorce proceedings. Had no desire to online date or go out to bars or anything like that. A friend I only started texting with after the start of the divorce set me up with a gorgeous Pilates instructor also going through a divorce with 3 kids (almost the exact same ages as mine) and we hit it off immediately. We’re totally into each other and it’s amazing! Just wanted to add my story to say it does happen and sometimes when you least expect it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 06:30 AM
-1

So where are you sleeping? In the main bed with the woman who divorced you? Doubtful. Not everyone has room for an extra bed to throw in the living room or a guest bedroom. Don’t be a dick just because you have an extra bed to sleep on. You’re still getting divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/24 03:46 AM
3

Ewwww
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/24 12:57 PM
3

I’m so sorry you’re hurting and I can relate in my chest. The holidays suck for all of us. I have had my ups and downs over the holidays, but luckily life returns to “normal” tomorrow! It’s normal to miss your family, the comfort and stability it provided. Try to remember that the holidays make this whole process 10x harder but you’re persisting. Maybe try to distract yourself with something until you can get to tomorrow.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 04:02 AM
5

This! My stbx is very successful in the entertainment industry and couldn’t handle my meager 100k a year job. A few months after I lost my job she divorced me. Meanwhile nothing is her fault, she has to control everything, everything she does is either right or had to be done that way because of x excuse. Everything we own is actually hers and I’m just an asshole if I disagree with anything. It was a marriage full of DARVO. At least now in this divorce I hope she gets what’s coming to her.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 05:54 AM
2

The only family I have is my dad and my sister. My friends all moved around the country. The friend who set me up is someone I only text with who I only got back in touch with after my divorce. It sounds like with your plan you’ll be exposing yourself to a lot more people than I did, so just keep the faith and be friendly and see what happens without trying to make anything happen.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 02:11 AM
3

I’m 44, 5’7 and was sure I’d never date again and no one would want me. I didn’t join any dating sites, didn’t go out to bars or clubs. And a couple weeks ago (7 months into my stbx filing for divorce) a friend of mine put me in touch with a friend of his who was also going through a divorce. She’s amazing, a Pilates instructor, gorgeous, has 3 kids almost the same age as my kids, and she really really likes me. Things are going really well and it came out of nowhere. It’s almost the same type o…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 01:50 AM
2

Mine talked about us potentially getting back together after the divorce. Wtf? Now I think everything she says ever is about getting me to simp for her and not realize what she’s trying to do behind he scenes with her lawyer. It worked for the first 3 months but now I think she’s just conniving and purely self-interested with everything nice she does for me. She’s still very cordial with me, maybe it makes her feel like a good person but her actions all speak otherwise. I’m disgusted by her now.…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 02:14 AM
1

Dude. Reread what you wrote. Your 2-5 year plan to win her back for a friendship and more. It’s called denial and we all go through it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 01:48 AM
2

Call it whatever you want. I’m very sorry for what’s going on but your 2-5 year plan for winning her back is denial. It just is. It’s fine. We all go through it. It makes us feel better and not have to deal with the finality of things. But it is what it is.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 12:52 AM
2

Wow. Some people never leave the denial stage of grief.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 12:23 AM
2

Yeah, don’t do this.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 06:34 AM
1

Don’t forget “too little too late.” I’ve dubbed it the unofficial motto of the /divorce subs.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 07:35 AM
2

Reminds me of the movie White Men Can’t Jump where she says she’s thirsty and he goes to get her water and she gets pissed because she wanted him to sympathize with her thirst instead. Lol
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 12:17 AM
1

My ex was never able to hear any of the issues I had with her behavior. If I called them out then I was the asshole. If I was upset about something she did then I was causing an argument and had anger issues. She wanted everything to be her way and for me to never challenge anything and just go along with it. And even then I doubt she’d be happy because I wouldn’t be taking enough initiative. She was also a horrible communicator but expected me to know everything she was thinking. There was no w…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 08:16 PM
11

Same situation same response.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/23 07:52 PM
3

I didn’t have to pay for any of my phone consultations. One single lawyer asked for payment for a consultation and I noped out.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 06:35 PM
8

Basically I got recommendations from lots of people I trusted, some of them lawyers, and I went through a list of 8 or 9 recommendations contacted them all with my situation. Consulted with them and got a feel for how well they paid attention to my situation and whether I liked their approach. Took into account their cost and then looked at online reviews and experience level. I’ve been very happy with the lawyer I chose. He’s very sharp and knows what he’s doing. And didn’t let my wife’s lawyer…
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 06:19 PM
1

Thank you for the thoughtful response!
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 06:41 AM
15

For my experience you were wrong, and so was she. A relationship takes two people to work. The one doing the divorcing tends to highly exaggerate the fault of the other spouse so they don’t have to feel bad about divorcing them. My ex changed the reason for our divorce every time I talked to her but it was always my fault and never hers in any way. All you can do is decide for yourself what you want to work on in terms of yourself and become the best you possible. Do your best to separate your s…
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/23 08:56 PM
8

You’re grieving and the denial stage is one of the hardest ones to get through. I kept coming back to it.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/23 04:34 AM
2

https://guides.law.byu.edu/c.php?g=602326&p=4196010 https://www.legalaidsocietyofsaltlake.org
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 05:41 AM
4

Not as safe as no nuptials.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 05:49 AM
5

Same boat. 2nd marriage kids in both. First time being divorced without wanting it myself. Little kids with her. Blindsided me. Now I’m seeing I was with a controlling, entitled, gaslighter who learned how to be nice on the surface. Fml
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 12:57 AM
6

I’m 5 months in too, with 3 young kids. Thank you for this reminder. I needed it today.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 01:24 AM
6

For the kids sake yeah, you’re being petty. I felt exactly like you but since then I’ve come to terms with the fact that having a united front is better for the kids because regardless of the truth, they shouldn’t have to deal with the adult situation of having mom and dad not only divorcing but fighting about it. It’s so incredibly hard to do but you need to make it about the divorce and not about blaming each other. The time will come when you’ll have an advantageous situation and you won’t wa…
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/23 06:15 AM
3

If you want to chat at any point I’d be happy to because going through this bullshit alone is hell.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/23 11:25 PM
5

Couldn’t agree more. Couldn’t be able to do less about it.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/23 11:13 PM
9

I’m in the exact same boat down to the couples therapy and not hitting the right issues apparently. Plus the therapy ended a year or so before she decided to divorce me. Didn’t care we have a 3 and 5 year old together. Didn’t care I was in group therapy 5 days a week plus personal therapy and was recognizing and taking ownership for the shitty things I did in our relationship but was making changes and expressing remorse and shame for my behaviors. She was “proud of me” and that was it. Never wa…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/23 10:49 PM
1

I don’t. Had to create this one myself because there wasn’t anything in Los Angeles either!!
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 09:01 PM
1

I had the same thought.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/23 05:21 AM
1

Time to start grieving.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 08:00 AM
1

Because divorce is really hard and painful no matter what. But there are some things you can do to heal faster.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 05:39 AM
2

I was still in love with my future ex wife for a while after she blindsided me with divorce. Some advice and supportive stories here.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/23 08:00 PM
3

Their mind doesn’t return because this is the real them. The one you’re hoping returns is the one you’re putting on a pedestal and only remembering the good about.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 11:34 PM
2

Thank you. I appreciate that.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/23 05:44 PM
2

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/23 04:39 AM
2

Did you have kids together? How long did it take to get past the overwhelming emotions?
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/23 03:55 AM
1

Thank you for this. I appreciate you not telling me to just get over it and to find some amazing hobby I’m totally into and simply become an awesome version of myself. While I know those giving that advice mean well I literally just found out I’m being divorced yesterday and I’m in the first part you mentioned. I feel horribly sad, lonely, guilty and unmotivated right now. I need some time to sit with these feelings and watch tv and do my weekly therapy, and get to a better mental place about it…
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/23 03:21 AM
2

Thank you, friend. I think you’re right.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/23 12:42 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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