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Striking-Trainer8148 Archive

View 2 posts and 199 comments by Striking-Trainer8148 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
10

LawyersStriking-Trainer8148/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 09:10 AM
3

Striking-Trainer8148/r/Divorce_Men06/04/21 05:07 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
13

Yes, you can take legal action when someone kidnaps your son. Go file a police report.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 10:43 PM
3

How did the house become community property if you bought it before the marriage?
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 06:55 PM
4

I know you may not understand or want to hear this right now… But for me, the best thing I could do in your situation is thank her for not wasting 12 years of your life. Not to her face, of course. But in your mind. You’ve learned an 11 year lesson. At least it wasn’t 21. Or 30.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 03:05 AM
4

I’m in a similar boat. Being married to a foreign woman is a unique experience. A lot of the times they’re having trouble adjusting to their new role of westernized femininity. Basically, she’s realized that she can run you over and she is doing just that. The solution is to put your foot down and say no. Stop putting up with her bullshit and let her know her role as your wife and an equal part of your partnership. Foreign women have a hard time adjusting when they come to America. I imagine it’…
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 10:49 PM
4

Because safe spaces only apply to them, not us.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 04:51 PM
4

Or rational. And you just haven’t learned it yet.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 02:51 AM
7

ChatGPT
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 05:32 AM
10

Take everything you can.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 05:00 AM
3

You’ll have plenty of money after you sell the house and walk away with half your equity.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 12:20 AM
3

I was thinking of a couple fighting: “ I’m going to divorce you!” “Oh yeah?! I’m going to DOUBLE-DIVORCE you!”
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/25 09:40 AM
4

Hahaha the idea of “double divorcing” someone made me chuckle in my head.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/25 09:19 AM
36

After several years of a subpar marriage, my personal conclusion on this topic is that men are builders. We build societies, buildings, electronics, all we want to do is build and create. It is my opinion that men recognize the cost of building a long relationship and what it means. I understand the argument that it might be a sunk cost and not worth debating, but I feel as though the male gender has a harder time destroying all of the work that they had put in. Women don’t have that issue, and …
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 04:46 PM
1

So what makes you happy and hopefully the right people will gravitate to you. ….just as long as it’s not super solo dude stuff like Pokémon, video games., etc
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 02:57 AM
3

You will be very screwed. Get her working. She needs a job. It will help IMMENSELY to show the court she’s able to generate an income of her own. There is no universe where you will be paying “800 for the kid also” after daycare. Go home. Play nice. Say you want to make up and work it out. Encourage her to get a job. Then file.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 04:53 AM
2

Testosterone replacement treatment
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 11:59 PM
6

This guy divorces.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 01:34 AM
8

Lawyer。 Not reddit.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/24 03:09 PM
2

Rent a room on craigslist
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/24 08:07 PM
2

Sounds like you know what’s really going on, you just need other people to tell you exactly what you already know. Hire a goddamn lawyer and stop asking strangers on the Internet for affirmation on things that you already know
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 01:25 PM
1

IANAL but I’m 99% sure that she can’t remove you, and she will be obligated to provide and continue that health insurance for a specified amount of time after your divorce. It’s also in your best interest to take on as much medical debt as possible before the actual filing date. TLDR Is get treated asap because it’s easier now than it will be later.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/24 11:19 AM
2

You can relearn to play completely for free using the Magic Arena app.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/24 11:09 AM
2

Hahahaha welcome home. Yeah, look up the price of a revised underground sea. Or an unlimited time walk Or a beta mox sapphire. Or… you get the point. The newer sets (Standard) are for the kids, but even then Gen Alpha doesn’t have the $ to play so there’s a lot of gen z and millennials. The average age at a modern tournament (2008 and forward) is like 35 and for Legacy (older sets) the average age is like 48.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 04:15 PM
1

Yes, it’s a great way to blow a lot of money
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 03:52 PM
4

Play magic
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 01:24 PM
2

I agree it looks bad on the surface but it’s also reflective of reality. One of the 2 biggest write-offs was the house and utilities. I use about 40% of the house for my business so we agreed I would pay for everything (except half the mortgage) and I would write off 40% of it to decrease my taxable liability. The other huge write-off was mileage. I drive around 50-60,000 miles a year for my business, and the current mileage deductions are around 67c/mile.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 10:30 AM
3

He probably just went through a divorce 🤣
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 10:12 AM
7

Not filing first is bad advice and one that often leaves men at a disadvantage. Imagine someone trains for a legal fight for 1-2 years. Then challenges someone else to a fight and tells them they have 2-4 months to get ready for it. Yeah. That’s the advantage.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 10:09 AM
9

Jesus Christ dude. It’s like you’re trying to find bullets to throw yourself infront of. Stop focusing on her and start focusing on you and your decision making. Because if you took a step back you’d realize you’re intentionally taking a poison pill a-la Romeo and Juliet style…. For a girl that told you to your face that she has feelings for another man and whose actions showed you she DGAF if you care and she DGAF what you do. How about you hold your X to the standards of… ANY RANDOM STRANGER O…
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 11:11 AM
6

This looks like there is a regulatory issue with her birth control and I suggest she sees a doctor about it Despite being prescribed like it is, Birth control is not a 1-size-fits-all solution. If she’s a petite woman there’s a good probability her BC hormones are off or miscalculated. Source: this was me. My wife went from hormone based BC to nonhormonal copper IUD and life became much better.
/r/askMRP01/08/24 09:44 AM
1

R/askMRP
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 02:13 PM
2

If you reread your post with some introspection I think you’ll find the answer to many questions you have about your own situation. Let love be love. Don’t prematurely offset your jaded outlook onto your son. They will simply rebel against it. I recommend you lean into it and help your son apply to colleges or masters programs that are 2,000 miles away and closer to this girl. Let him learn his own lessons. On the flipside, your own personal outlook may be better suited for MRP. This works for s…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 10:12 AM
6

Bro 17 years difference she’s doing you the favor of a lifetime
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 02:46 PM
3

Stress and anxiety are only caused by things left undone. No one ever said “oh I got all my work done and now I’m so stressed out” Get to doing
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 05:13 AM
14

Here’s my philosophy that took me years to wrap my head around You were wrong. And that’s OK. Today’s society puts too much stress on nailing things 110% the first time you ever do it. I believe it starts from standardized testing in schools, and the weight that it has on your future as you enter college and the professional world. We are taught that if we are unable to do things right the first time, we are destined to be failures. That becomes a part of who we are. But that is not true People,…
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 01:44 PM
2

At least you’re right about one thing in this whole thread
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 02:15 PM
7

Bro this sounds like a catfish. Have you actually met in public? How much money have you sent “her” with western Union?
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 10:13 AM
14

It’s called gaslighting. Look it up. Learn how to combat it . You’ve never heard of it because you’re a decent human being. It’s gross. And it’s the reason many marriages fail. She’s getting ready to move on and she’s looking for reasons to make herself the victim
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 12:56 PM
5

They are laughing at her, not with her. “Alienating” you is doing you a favor.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/24 04:30 PM
10

Sounds like she’s intent on destroying her own life. You don’t need to be a part of any of that
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/24 01:33 PM
4

Every time that you are having a good time, just remind yourself how she would ruin it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 02:53 PM
2

Your wife has BPD. Join r/bpdlovedones it will change your life
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 04:44 PM
6

She’s asking you to make her feel better about the way she treated you. There’s a number of things that could cause this to happen, either somebody’s treating her worse than you did, or maybe she misses something that you provided in your relationship that she no longer has. Like stability. Either way, she’s looking for an emotional massage. You don’t need to give it to her, you don’t owe her anything. The worst thing you can do in this situation is engaged. Once you reply with any type of emoti…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 04:49 PM
2

It depends on your state and you need to ask a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 12:46 PM
2

You’ve done everything you needed to do; Beyond what you needed to do to be considered honorable. No more discussions. No more suggestions. Just go and file with the attorney in another week or two like you said you would.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 02:43 PM
8

Do not send her any money. Even as a joke. It can be used to show you had reasonable belief she was entitled to “something” from the sale of the home
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 08:48 PM
3

Congrats
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/24 03:39 AM
1

Lift heavy things and put them down Repeat, until the angry voices in your head go away
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 02:28 PM
2

What is said inside of your therapy sessions is protected. The fact that you are going to therapy is not. Going to therapy is often viewed and skewed by divorce attorneys as an attempt to show that you are an unstable person and you know it Also, I don’t really appreciate the fact that you did not quote my entire sentence.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/23 01:53 PM
21

Chin up king. Her pushing for divorce is a favor to you. You don’t need/want to be treated like that by someone for the rest of your life anyway. She’s projecting her own self-image issues on you. Every time she says you’re worthless, what she’s really saying is that SHE feels worthless and she’s ashamed of herself. She’s looking for boundaries and you’re not giving them to her. She’s realizing she can run all over you like a doormat and you’ll take it no matter what. Stop taking it. Start takin…
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 12:10 PM
1

It absolutely does matter who files first , but not for the accepted reason of optics. Whomever files first has had years of planning and plotting around filing. They can squeeze info from their loved one and go through mail to get bank account info and statements. Once filing, the cards are on the table and the gloves are off. Going through your STBX’s mail is very different than going through your beloved spouse’s mail. Going through your spouses email for proof of an affair is “curious snoopi…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 08:20 PM
2

Sounds like you should start doing the same
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 10:50 AM
5

Stress.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/23 11:15 PM
55

Although not for 22 years, I’ve been in your shoes before. It took me a long time to realize it, but the biggest hurdle I had to get over was that I needed to accept I was wrong. And that was OK. You thought this person was your forever. You were wrong. And that’s OK. You thought this person felt the same way about you that you did them. You were wrong. And that’s OK. It makes sense to you that the person that you love would want to communicate their unhappiness to you. You were wrong. And that’…
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/23 12:27 PM
5

Stop caring what other people think. Stop caring what she does. The only reason she is doing this is to spark outrage and a response from you. That can only be used against you. Right now, she looks insane. Any normal person who received this letter is going to see that. The only thing that she’s doing is telling everybody around you the reason that you got divorced is that she is bat shit crazy The best way for you to change the perception that she’s crazy is to have a response. You don’t need …
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 01:17 PM
2

IANAL but I am also in CT and I can tell you that CT divorce laws are some of the weirdest and most skewed in the country. Although the other responses here are all genuinely well intentioned, they are mostly incorrect. CT is one of 2 states in the country where inheritances are on the table for divvying up regardless of its commingled or not. This is called an “all property” state. Full stop. That’s all you need to know. The flip side of that coin is that all assets are “snapshotted” on the dat…
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/23 11:24 PM
3

The nyc legal system is huge and nepotism doesn’t exist like that. Stop pretending it’s a 1horse town.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/23 10:09 AM
1

If she doesn’t plan on coming back to the US, claim abandonment
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 09:35 PM
8

Sounds like depression. I recommend as much sunshine as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/23 12:45 AM
52

Send him a mental thank you card for temporarily babysitting your kids and ex. Bro do you remember ourselves at 29? The prospect of taking care of someone else’s kids was LOL.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 01:14 PM
2

Health insurance.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 05:51 AM
31

“Your honor, this is why I drank for 22 years.”
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/23 11:54 AM
2

Maybe I’m being obtuse but I think there’s a gap in information after you picked up the phone. What happened? I’m sorry if you don’t want to elaborate because it’s traumatizing, but I really think you will have to if you want useful advice.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 12:41 AM
6

How nice of that man to offer to help raise your three children. Watch how long that lasts and laugh when it fails
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 08:18 PM
11

Sir, I am very much in love with Neve Campbell and Denise Richards from wild things, but that does not mean that they love me back. You’re just gonna have to pack the last 10 years of your life into a little bag, put it in the attic, forget about it, and try to move forward through the rest of your life while putting your best foot forward.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 08:12 PM
10

. Her behavior is not normal.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 06:34 PM
22

I’ll save you 20 therapy sessions. The relationship can only be saved if you are able to forgive the past. In your mind, build a future that involves you 2 being a loving couple. What did she need to do to get you to that place? Ie: Does she need to apologize? If she did whatever it is you think you need to get your relationship back to a good spot, would that be enough? What would it take for you to dispel the resentment you’ve harbored? If the answer is that it’s not possible, then there is no…
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 03:56 AM
4

I respect your story, and I apologize if it seems like I was kicking you while you were down. That was not my intention. I just wanted to point out that the problem is not all the women in the world, the problem is you and how you select them. If you work on yourself first, your woman selector device will work better.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/23 06:16 PM
37

I’m prepared for the downvotes but I’ll go anyway: Take some accountability, learn from your experience, and make better choices. It’s not like all 3 of them changed after the ring went on. You chose to dive into that crap pile likely because you wanted to feel needed and wanted to be a savior of some kind. You genuinely looked at the whole situation and was like “yeah that’s what I want.” It’s my opinion that someone who loves themselves would not have chosen that path. Take some time to focus …
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/23 09:39 AM
2

She does not want you to care about her. If you do so, it will be unrequited.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/23 08:37 AM
4

She cheated on you. Twice. You are not her savior. Sometimes people need to sleep in the bed they pooped in.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 05:19 PM
1

Made me lol
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 03:45 AM
0

Ty for the compliment. If she’s showing up high on a bus they wouldn’t care. But consistently endangering the welfare of a child by driving impaired? I think that’s a head-turner in almost any county outside of the major cities with crime issues.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 06:10 PM
0

I’m sure your local PD would love to know of someone who habitually drives a car with your child while high. Go into your local PD, explain the situation, and ask what they’re willing to do to help you narc on her. “Hi officer my xw is a drug addict and habitually shows up to pick up my child while high. The car stinks of weed, her eyes are bloodshot, and she is clearly driving while impaired and endangering the life of my son. She drives a 1977 pink ford pinto with license plate 123-456. Our ne…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 05:31 PM
2

Yup
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 04:21 PM
8

Become the man that makes your ex-wife ask the same question
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 02:43 PM
26

You COULD get a girl in a day but neither she nor the relationship would be one of quality. Do it right. Wait for the right one. Just because she’s hit with options doesn’t mean she’ll have it easy. Decision paralysis is very real and the asset you are jealous of (her beauty) is fleeting at best. If anything in the long run it will be to her detriment. I’ve dated several gorgeous women and not 1 of them has stood the test of time once I was out of their lives and no longer bending over backwards…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 01:55 PM
3

I’m reading through a lot of your responses here in this thread and I see someone who is hurting. It’s ok. It’s normal. We were all young once too. We’ve all hurt others and been hurt by others. What defines us is how we respond to those situations. A strong man apologizes when they’ve caused pain, and tries to understand the other persons POV when they’re caused pain. You need to remember that everyone is the hero of their own story. People are rarely evil or mean to someone without cause, and …
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 07:13 PM
3

The fights are usually about a major decision or change in our life and what our appropriate response to that change should be. She doesn’t nag any more or less than expected but I also didn’t open myself up on the internet to help a kid looking for answers to have an Anon account question my marriage. Please respect that. Being a feminist as a red flag I guess depends on your personal political leanings. I lean pretty left (more left than her actually) and it’s good to agree on the basics like …
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 06:01 PM
2

I still do the same thing in the same industry. I work in liquidations and make my money selling things on Amazon and eBay. My wife still works at the hedge fund, but her long term goal is to build a portfolio of real estate. I hang in this subreddit because we have had fights. We’ve thrown around the D-word and I’ve agreed. Then we reconcile and never mention it again. My work leads me to be be alone most of the time. Her work has her surrounded by lawyers. She eats with them daily. Heaven forb…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 05:15 PM
8

If you’re just dating, the answer is whichever is best in bed.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 01:47 PM
10

I have always been self-employed. At some points in my 20s I made between 500 and 600,000 a year. That was back when I was able to dedicate 110% of my time to my business. Now I don’t make nearly as much but I used to be a high net worth individual, surrounded with other high net worth individuals, and I attracted a very beautiful , very smart, very ambitious wife. We have been together for 11 years and my participation in this subreddit should tell you it hasn’t always been easy. My wife is muc…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 01:22 PM
21

YTA. Oops, wrong sub.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 07:44 AM
4

I was going to write something, but then read this and realized i didn’t need to.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 07:43 AM
4

“Who gives a shit what the court says” is not the best way to live life. The court will make SURE you give a shit what the court says.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 11:11 AM
7

The flags of Turkey and Albania are mostly red. Also Montenegro. I hope this helps.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 12:45 PM
163

MVP here. Ty
/r/PussyPassDenied22/03/23 01:40 AM
3

I don’t have kids, so I feel like maybe my opinion here is biased: It sounds like both of you fucked around and found out. Without the kids in the picture, I think it’s fairly easy to walk away. Yes, 15 years of history is a lot to throw in the dumpster, but both of you would be heading back into a dramatic and adversarial relationship with a lot of baggage. The idea that you would both just go back to “the way things were before” is not realistic and will not happen. It’s a fantasy that you can…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 02:28 PM
4

I feel for your position and I want to write what a lot of other guys here have already said. So I won’t repeat them, but instead I’ll share what works for me to stem some of the automatic behaviors I needed to stop that I see in your posts: Every time you promise to make everything better, you are lying. You cannot make everything better when she is constantly making things worse. You cannot patch the holes in a relationship when the other person is constantly poking more. Stop doing this. Ever…
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 01:46 AM
2

Honestly man, it’s all about becoming comfortable with who you are, and not being codependent on another person. All of the time that you would’ve spent dedicated to making another person happy, just take that time and make yourself happy. Do some soul-searching and ask yourself who you want to be before you die. We only get a few rotations around the sun on this rock, and it’s up to ourselves to make it the best we possibly can be for us. Anytime you get lonely or upset that there is no one wit…
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/23 06:43 PM
3

This is just you knowing what to look for. I don’t want to say that happens to me all the time, but it has happened
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 04:35 AM
19

I wouldn’t get my hopes up for any direct consequences. What will happen is the judge will remember this when it comes time for judgement.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/23 04:35 PM
5

This happened to me plenty of times in my dating history. I call it the seven month stretch. If you make it past the seven month boredom barrier, the next big hurdle is the three or four year “are we going to spend the rest of our lives together” hurdle The one time I made it over that jump, I got married
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 05:18 PM
7

Stop looking at her, look at yourself. Seriously ask yourself if you want to be the person that stayed with someone who did what she did to you. In the long term, it will never ever work out. You will never ever want to be that person.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 11:42 AM
5

There’s a lot to unpack in your post. I probably won’t be able to touch on at all, but I’m gonna do my best. From her point view, she’s probably looking back in the last 17 years of her life and realized that she failed to launch. Honestly? She’s probably pretty depressed. There is only so much you can do in this scenario, and when someone fails to love themselves, it is very hard to be the hero they need. You did not do anything wrong to cause problems(according to your post) so I’m not going t…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 10:21 PM
4

Try to funnel that anxiety into excitement. Your life is about to become awesome !
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 12:46 PM
10

It comes down to whether or not you two can come to an agreement, and your state laws. If you can both agree to an uncontested divorce, your divorce can be finalized with $400 worth of paperwork and an afternoon. Your state might have laws to make this process longer, such as living apart for six months before it’s finalized. To the people here urging you to go for alimony, they’re not wrong on paper. But in practice it’s really just more practical to have a sit down conversation with your wife,…
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 03:30 PM
2

This.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 11:56 AM
20

Take all the time you would have put into her, and put it into yourself. Go on dates for yourself. Do what you want. Take yourself where you want to go, eat well, go out, go home, sleep under the stars with a smile on your face knowing that’s what you chose to do that day.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 04:29 AM
10

For learning why filing first can be important, read THE 10 STUPIDEST THINGS MEN DO DURING DIVORCE. Not filing first is literally #1 Get a voice recorder. Start recording her threats. Ny is a 1 party consent state for recording so anything she says can be used against her. Her threats to “destroy” you will be used to show that she intentionally intends to have a contentious divorce and can be used against her in the system. She can file for divorce anywhere your marriage is recognized. Her takin…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/23 09:14 PM
31

The regular divorce Reddit is for women This was made out of necessity, not vanity
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/23 03:56 PM
10

Monkey branching into a new relationship is not a good idea and is unfair to literally everyone involved, including you. 30 years is a long time. Being scared is ok. But you owe it to yourself and your future partner to take time to figure out who you want the “new you” to be before jumping from a codependent situation into someone else’s arms. You may think the situation will be easier with someone by your side, but that is a lie. Other people have their own baggage and the best thing you could…
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 06:15 AM
5

Super cringe
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 06:19 PM
4

If anybody needed pictures of a hot mess, they could just walk their dog
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 01:34 PM
6

I fricken love this response 😂
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/23 04:46 AM
1

Get lawyers in whatever countries your marriage is recognized in
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 08:24 PM
11

Try to not care. Anger is part of the process of grieving the loss of your marriage. You will notice that you go through the same steps of griefp on a smaller scale for each individual battle that you will encounter.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 05:56 AM
4

This is a trend that’s been ported over from Asia. There is a whole documentary on Netflix about this. I can’t find the Netflix title but there’s other documentaries. You have been a victim of “love fraud.” Also, you’re pretty fucking awesome. Don’t put up with this crap and don’t let anyone steal your fire.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 03:52 PM
1

Cheaper to keep er
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 05:10 AM
3

All jokes and manly man BS aside, you need to do you. It’s ok to say no. I’m about a 8/10 and I’ve said No more times than I’ve said Yes. You may need to become comfortable with this. Every “good thing” comes with a catch. This girl may be a smoke show but if she doesn’t fit what you need in life then you shouldn’t force it.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 08:29 PM
2

This may sound ridiculous but it’s really helped me through some tough spots. You first response to her being ridiculous should be to laugh. If you’re alone, laugh heartily and long. The fact that this person is making these demands is hilarious. Treat it as such. It will REALLY help with the mental task of disengaging from the confrontation and not letting this person ruin your day, which is all they’re trying to do.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 12:19 PM
3

The best thing you can do is do the things you want to do and you will attract people of similar interests.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/23 04:13 PM
7

Meetup.com is a great way to explore new interests and meet new people. Also, try to focus more on the beautiful small things. Stop and smell the roses. It helps if you find comfort in small beauties than focus on finding larger ones.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/23 02:18 PM
1

No one is arguing the removal of the pics and notifications from your phone. He’s just saying you may want to keep those pictures for a few years from now. He moved his to an external hard drive.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 07:09 PM
3

There’s no need to apologize for your feelings. Not anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 08:37 AM
7

She’s done this to someone before. My advice is to take a solo vacation and see if things are better when you’re back.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 01:00 PM
3

Although not a divorce, I went through a breakup like this about 15 years ago. I learned a lot about myself + relationships and this is the advice I give to people when I hear they’re in similar situations. (Disclaimer: This is my own pseudo-science conclusion that helped me recover from relationship trauma and is not rooted in any real scientific fact) Biologically, men are hard-wired to love, protect, and serve their clan + mate. This makes evolutional sense as “in the wild” a man needs to pro…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 02:01 PM
2

What is this garbage comment.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/23 05:58 AM
5

In most states you’d be seen as abandoning the family home. This will affect your claim to mutual property and your future access to your child. If she works in a law firm she knows this. From September until now sounds like long enough to declare abandonment, that’s why she was playing nice before and now the gloves have come off. I am not a lawyer, but you need to get one ASAP. Seriously. Like yesterday. You know that phrase “showing up with a knife to a gun fight”? You’ve shown up to a gun fi…
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 02:02 PM
3

It’s probably too late but moving out was a big mistake. I’m surprised your counsel hasn’t told you this. Because you have legal counsel right? If not you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of pain problems and regret.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 01:22 PM
1

Don’t say anything to anyone. Just as you used what she said against her, they are looking to do the same thing to you.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 06:59 AM
1

I did not read a single word of this post, but the answer is yes
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 08:41 PM
19

Holy shit this is happening to me right now.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/22 03:09 AM
1

You’re enabling this behavior by covering for her. Start getting dinner for 1 and eating on the way home from work and see what happens
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/22 06:34 AM
4

24 is incredibly young. You don’t need to do everything solo. My advise is to get roommates, hopefully female ones with hot friends. I’m not kidding. This is a great opportunity to open up and understand who you are. That understanding should start with making friends with a wingwoman who wants to cheer you on as you date her friends. My mid 20’s breakup roommate from when I was 25-32 was a dance therapist. She looked smoking, her friends were gorgeous, and we became best friends. She’s practica…
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 01:43 AM
25

Strike first, strike hard. No mercy.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 04:52 AM
3

I think he means 2017
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/22 12:52 PM
5

Yeah no. None of this flies in almost any jurisdiction. Either something went terribly sideways or this isn’t the whole truth.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/22 04:44 AM
9

Enter a fake # into your phone, like 555-123-4567, and text that and let it know where you’re going. It will help you break the habit.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/22 05:44 AM
1

Sounds like you need a break. Take a solo trip to get away for a few days and re-examine your feelings afterwards. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/22 11:14 AM
1

Yeah that’ll do it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/22 11:10 AM
2

There is no salvaging your situation. She will never forget. Even if you stay together she’ll look at you sideways 50 years from now. It’s not worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 10:36 PM
2

In time you’ll realize this WAS the kinder, cleaner way.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 12:30 PM
-5

I’m sorry, this is not meant as an attack on you personally: but as an elder millennial, I have a bit of smug satisfaction as you go through the same struggle as my entire generation has been for the last 15 years. Most people reverse mortgage their house to pay for legal expenses. Their lawyers work on retainer only with airtight contracts that say they’ll be reimbursed after the sale of the family home. There is a ton of financial advice on what to do to lower your payment. This includes runni…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 07:48 PM
40

Jesus Christ dude, you need to get this toxicity out of your life and stop letting things like this drag you down. Cut all ties and try not to look in the rearview mirror because it’s going to be a hot mess. You deserve to be treated better than this, it doesn’t matter who you are. No one deserves what you are being put through Try reading no more Mr. nice guy. It may change your perspective a little bit, and realize that you are worthy of love
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/22 09:19 PM
3

Serious question: Are you the same guy who wanted to leave his family to be an actor in LA?
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/22 06:09 PM
8

Mine tried this bs. It’s legal suicide. She’s been coached by her lawyer to try to get you into therapy so they can use it against you. You wouldn’t be in therapy unless you knew you were the problem, right?
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 03:18 AM
1

My wife is like this and it will probably lead to our divorce. Here’s what I do. Think about the person you would be if you repeated the same words she says back to her. You’d be a stupid, callous, moronic shell of a person without a stable mentality who clearly needs love in their lives, right? Laugh because you are not that person. I’m serious. Audibly laugh and understand that you are not a pathetic piece of shit who needs to attack someone you love for attention in a vain attempt to be heard…
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/22 04:04 PM
2

Yes and the poster is giving the advice to go to all of his Dr appointments. Your wife is nothing more than a leech looking to score off you for life. You can thwart this by showing up at all the Dr appointments and showing the court you don’t need her
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/22 03:59 PM
3

After taking a few minutes to think about your situation, instead of running away from your life I think you need to double down on your position as a father and head of household. If you were both unhappy, then you both must recognize that things need to change. That is OK and normal. Change is natural, acceptance of change is not always easy. Accepting change means that you acknowledge that your previous self was not good enough to handle the situation and needed to change. Not everyone can ac…
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/22 04:00 PM
6

I appreciate your respect and meant no disrespect with my comment, only tough love. Best of luck and I hope you DM me when you’re the next George Clooney.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/22 03:36 PM
10

Statistically you will probably be a failed actor. My advice is that you start multiple streams of revenue to help support your newfound city loving lifestyle. Start driving for Uber, start delivering with Grubhub, and learn how to pick up cans for recycling. Find a rental scooter app and start learning how to make money returning scooters overnight. Figure out when trash day is in the richest neighborhood and start flipping used vacuum cleaners that wealthy people throw out. You may think I’m k…
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/22 03:27 PM
4

I think this is the best possible option for you, at least you’re not stuck paying child support. If you get really down on yourself, I recommend audiobooks for those long hauls on the road. They really take your mind off of things. Start with the Timothy series by Mark Tufo. DM me if you want more suggestions for titles.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/22 01:45 PM
7

40m here, used to be an ambitious high earner in my 20’s until I realized working my ass off for a number in an account wasn’t worth it if I had no time to do anything and no one to do it with. Met my wife (then 19, now 29) while traveling the globe on a 2 year vacation. She taught me several things about relationships that I wasn’t expecting. Find someone interesting. If they’re boring you will get bored of them. You need to be genuinely curious about their thoughts on topics to be able to have…
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 10:35 AM
3

She’s looking for boundaries . Put your foot down and say you don’t want to be in a sexless marriage and things will change real quick
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/22 02:09 AM
4

https://www.iowalegalaid.org/resource/applying-for-help-from-iowa-legal-aid And more specifically: https://www.iowalegalaid.org/issues/family-and-juvenile/divorce
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 03:26 AM
3

Valid.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/22 02:51 PM
6

In Oregon that’s a huge amount for anywhere outside of Seattle. Seattle = Microsoft and other tech that revolves around Microsoft . So I’d guess IT.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/22 12:01 PM
12

You CAN take the plunge, you just don’t want to yet. Men are natural builders. You look at the last 3 decades and think you built something. You don’t want to tear that down. But you do acknowledge that something needs to change. So either make it change, or choose to live this way. Not making a decision is the same as making a decision. To choose not to decide is to decide.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/22 03:09 PM
2

The alchemist by Paulo Coelho
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/22 11:25 PM
2

This is where I am at. She keeps bringing it up, but will never take any steps forward. Been like that for years. It is incredibly confusing and I haven’t had the finances to move forward on anything myself, but I’m putting together some things so that I can soon
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 10:48 PM
2

Many lawyers will work with the expectation of getting paid when you sell your house as a part of the divorce
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/22 01:22 AM
22

Huge mistake. And take the womens’ words for it. If they say you’re not ready it means you’re not. You need to take time to be comfortable with yourself before being comfortable with someone else. Start working on you WITHOUT involving other people. It doesn’t feel great at first but you’ll grow into the new you. You may want to read into codependency traits and check up on what you can do to pull yourself out of this cycle.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/22 02:17 AM
5

You cannot change the locks while she’s gone. That’s unlawful eviction and is NOT ok in anyones eyes.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/22 12:57 AM
35

What now? Lawyer lawyer lawyer lawyer lawyer lawyer …… lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/22 11:35 PM
14

“Due to religion I can’t hook up” Dude have some accountability for your decisions. You’re choosing that life, it is not being forced on you.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/22 05:37 AM
5

She is using you for her own benefit. She wants you to jump at this like a desperate abused puppy because it’s an ego boost for her. Maybe she feels she’s getting old. Probably her boyfriend just broke up with her. Either way she is using your emotions to seek validation. Reciprocating positively towards someone who literally tried to ruin your life is desperate and weak. Your current situation doesn’t matter. What matters is the abuse you suffered at her hand in the past.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/22 10:37 AM
4

This
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/22 12:36 PM
2

Come up with a valuation for each house and make an offer to buy her out of the ones you want. If you can’t afford it, you need to either trade her some houses (you take 100% of the proceeds of these 4 houses worth a total of 1M and I keep these 6 houses worth a total of 1M) or sell and walk
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/22 03:54 PM
9

It’s a large process. Break it down into steps. Step 1: find alternative arrangements for your children. Ask your mom/sister/best friend if they can take them for a few weeks. Arrange a backup. If you don’t have someone who can do this for you, you need to do some soul searching in your personal network and find the person who owes you the biggest favor. Step 2: get the important things of yours out of the house. Papers, documents, the things you really can’t live without. Step 3: begin the evic…
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/22 12:43 PM
9

It’s a typo. Supposed to be thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/22 12:39 PM
3

The dogs would be it for me. I'd be in jail for a long time.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/22 04:55 AM
7

I’m signed up to drive for both Uber Eats and DoorDash. I don’t do it often but it’s flexible enough that if I feel lonely on a random night I can make myself busy and make some extra $
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/22 10:44 PM
12

You’ll feel better when you get on a dating app, go out with some beautiful childless woman, have a great night, and at the end of it she says “can we go back to your place?” And you say “yes”
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/22 11:08 AM
1

Zwilling has AMAZING "Fresh & Save" suction vaccum storage bins that literally keep my food fresh for an additional 7-10 days. Don't get the suction bags tho.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/22 12:26 PM
1

Home run of an opening sentence right there. Had a hard audible “ooof” come out of me
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/22 04:15 AM
16

If you want to see this played out for you, look into the Johnny Depp / Amber Herd situation. It brought down Johnny Fucking Depp. There are no repercussions for Herd. You are Bob from Wisconsin who sells lawn gnomes. No one is coming to help you once this happens. Once the police arrive to your home their 26 year old minds will believe the easiest way to end the domestic dispute they've been called to is to tell the Husband to get a hotel for the night. Once you do that, "the police escorted hi…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 01:26 AM
31

Her attorney is going to tell her the easiest and cheapest way to do this is by getting you put in jail. Once you're in jail she is basically guaranteed your paycheck, your house, your kids, and your pension/retirement fund . Not a bad deal for screwing over the person she's already cheated on, huh? To achieve this, she will make ambiguous accusations that are hard to fight against. "He uses an aggressive tone of voice when speaking to me" "He yells at the kids for no reason. I am scared for the…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 12:55 AM
1

Get a new phone and computer Put the "tainted" ones in a box and forget about them
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/22 05:45 AM
1

Check r/Bpdlovedones and see if those experiences align with what you're going through
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/22 12:41 AM
3

Last sentence is unnecessary.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/22 02:01 AM
24

It’s bait. Stay away. The only thing that’s interesting about it to you is the fact that you are finally being desired after years of being neglected, abused, and left. Her putting forth such a minimal effort to send subliminal messages through friends of friends should not have a any positive effect on you whatsoever. Sure, it may provide you a glimmer of hope that maybe the last 13 years doesn’t mean nothing, but the reality is that she destroyed that, not you. It is her job to rebuild it, not…
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 05:02 PM
36

39M, married my gf of 7 years in 2019. Everything has gone to shit and I’ve never felt more trapped in my life. The legal quandary marriage puts you into is. Not. Worth. It. I loved my life before marriage. But the fact is that the institution is put in place ONLY to shackle you to a person and keep your potential contained. There’s no reason to be married whatsoever other than perhaps getting benefits to protect you from our broken healthcare system. Check out r/MarriageIsntWorthIt. Your friend…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 05:08 AM
2

Once that attorney gets in her ear and she finds out she’ll get a free paycheck for life, your whole world is about to go upside down.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 01:08 PM
1

Things always get worse before they get better, and there are upsides. You need to go through the divorce to move to the next stage of your life. The only alternative is to continue doing what you were doing before, which you can't. You are moving forward. This process is life progress. Don't look behind you, look forward. Your mother has been diagnosed with breast cancer. The alternative is that she wasn't diagnosed and both she and you were oblivious to the disease which is eating her from the…
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/22 02:09 PM
1

These are all questions for a lawyer
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/22 01:14 PM
2

Record this harassment .
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/22 01:12 PM
2

NOPE. NEXT!
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/21 05:35 AM
40

The best possible thing you could do for yourself is not care.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/21 02:33 AM
1

Serious question: how do you live 60 miles from a McDonalds ?
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/21 10:55 AM
14

Flip this mentality. She was married to you almost 9 years and she’s Facebook official with someone after 6 weeks. How incredibly insecure does she need to be to not realize she needs time to mentally heal before jumping into another relationship. Do you think that rebound will last? HELL NO. She’s just wasting her time and the time of this guy who will ultimately feel like you do one day. Don’t pity yourself for losing her because she was fairly obviously trash. I don’t pity myself when the gar…
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/21 11:49 AM
3

Hardcore this.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/21 04:48 AM
10

Poor guy doesn’t know what he’s in for. You should pity him. And as for her, her life is her own punishment. She’s so pathetic she’s living at her parents place and needs to seduce some other sucker to raise your kid so hopefully she won’t starve to death as a Walmart greeter at 55 years old with nothing accomplished , no passport, no real life experiences other than raising the kid you put in her and then royally messing up her own life by leaving . Alpha up, dog. New conquests are on the horiz…
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/21 04:47 AM
18

You were wrong about who she was. She showed you the truth. You just need to accept that. Your grief will come to a close much sooner once you realize you were just wrong. And that’s ok.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/21 05:43 AM
1

Moving out is the literal worst thing you can do
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/21 01:59 PM
2

I don’t know how to Reddit all that well, but if you pm me your phone number I’ll give you a call tomorrow ?
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/21 04:04 AM
27

How did you do it before? Just do that, but without the hassle and nagging of someone who doesn’t love you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/21 03:25 AM
1

I see where you’re coming from. In order to get rid of the source of your misery you need to pony up a shitload of $ for the next several years. Not fun. Unlike other people here I have no problem being a terrible person. Since she has no idea you’re thinking of moving to splitsville, just come up with a way to move that money into something that works for you. Gas is going up. We need a Tesla. It’s better to have it in my name for insurance purposes . I want to accelerate my career to make our …
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/21 04:12 AM
1

I’d be the same way if I had to deal with the pressures of the modern world and a wife who insisted on being a SAHM. It’s simply not practical in today’s society. I’m very curious what your plan is for the outside world if you have no earning potential. How do you plan on taking care of the kids 50/50 if you’re unable to make money? Have you considered the possibility that getting a job to help with $ around the house would be more helpful than what you’re currently doing for (A) the perception …
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/21 07:50 AM
1

Holy crap I didn’t realize I wrote this last night
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/21 12:04 PM
2

Prenups are usually worthless anyway. They would not have saved you in this situation.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/21 03:19 PM
2

It’s possible she’s depressed. Or maybe she just needs you to be more Aggro about getting some ?
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/21 10:47 AM
-2

Their* but ok. Posting unhelpful crap like this on someone’s story of pain is unhelpful and pathetic.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/21 11:47 AM
-5

Men going their own way. It’s basically 2steps shy of an anti feminist hate group who seeks to push men to be celibate and avoid the dating scene as an act of defiance. Basically a group of in lncels (involuntarily celebrate) who lurk on the internet to try to sway other men to hate women.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/21 09:24 PM
-6

Easily one of the most pathetic and small posts I’ve ever seen on Reddit.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/21 07:50 PM
3

Prepare yourself by setting up your phone to be ready to record audio while she’s there. And maybe have a friend come over to be a witness on your behalf . I’m don’t know anything about your situation or how you 2 deal with each other but it’s always better to have someone who can say you didn’t hit her
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/21 01:25 PM
3

Get off the computer and manage the situation. Make sure she doesn’t take anything she shouldn’t. Avoid cliche self destructive actions like getting drunk, or binge watching Netflix while eating 4 gallons of ice cream. After she’s gone, call a locksmith to change the locks and start moving your life forward in a positive way. If you’re bored, go for a walk and get some sun. Spring:summer is a terrific time to become single.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/21 01:21 PM
2

You’ve been in a 10 month relationship and she’s been divorced for 10 months. If you came here to hear that you’re a rebound, I’ll be that guy. You’re a rebound. Nothing about this is real for either of you. You are using each other as emotional trampolines to stay afloat. The only reason she wants more is that you’re not enough, and she’s only starting to realize that.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/21 08:29 PM
1

Looking forward to reading the aftermath of this on r/pussypassdenied
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/21 03:44 PM
3

Wtf gibberish Is this ? Dude you need to get your head screwed on straight.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/21 12:09 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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