So about a year ago I started an affair while we were separated due to me being in the military and I know that wasn’t right it was strictly sex no emotional connection and then my wife came to live with me and i stopped seeing her and my wife didn’t know till about 6 months ago she found the old messages that copied on my iPad due to iCloud and the the girl I had an affair with sent her screenshots of our snapchat she told me she wanted a divorce and I don’t love her but I do and I don’t want a divorce and she consistently brings it up every now and then now that we’re continuing to live together and try and work it out and everything was going good. She stopped bringing it up as much and then she left me a list of like five things to do but I was busy with work and only got till like two of them and figured I do the rest later and she took that as I don’t love, her, and then she found a receipt for a pocket pussy. I bought a few months ago and don’t use right now because it’s in the storage unit but now wants to get a divorce again and I have no clue what to do because I don’t wanna divorce in process of trying to seek counseling but there’s just such a long waiting list. I know I’m in the wrong but I don’t understand why she’s telling me. I have to make her love me and give her reasons not to leave.