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Subtle-Catastrophe Archive

View 0 posts and 352 comments by Subtle-Catastrophe on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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-11

Of course, it's all just for fun. With a carrot. Why not a beet, or a radish?
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 10:47 PM
-12

Username "fun carrot," no posts until today. Then, posts some intentionally embarrassing bs. Seriously?
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 10:43 PM
10

Often people aren't mad for what you've done to them, but for what they did to you. I regret you're going through this. Father's Day greetings.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 07:18 PM
0

Mods, is there a way to limit topic-starting posts by accounts that exhibit indicators of bot or fake activity? So many lately have been made by accounts with brand-new or very limited history, and read like llm-generated content. It's not a great path to go down. I know, I know. We were all low-count redditors at one point. But it's gotten systematic recently.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 04:25 PM
1

Bot fodder. So hot right now
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 04:26 PM
-11

Another single post account. WTH is going on here?
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 06:58 AM
0

All these single-post accounts spamming this sub with LLM-generated questions lately.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 03:25 AM
5

Strangers don't care about your kids or your family. Family court judges least of all (it's the worst possible judgeship to have, and if they land in it, they're bitter). You'll never win the legal beauty contest by being a documented amazing parent, either. It's sick and it's twisted, but that's the boots-on-the-ground reality of how things work. Plan accordingly.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 03:36 AM
11

Props. My junk could never evaluate a whole person. He's always been an old-fashioned judgy sonuvabitch. No fat chicks. Point being, maybe you could start listening to yours, given your newfound freedom and all. It's never too late.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 03:24 AM
11

Yes. Common. Very much so.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 01:20 AM
1

What do you think?
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 05:07 PM
3

For us, it's fulfilment or the loss thereof. For them, it's survival.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 05:03 PM
2

California? Can you relocate to a foreign country and re-file there? I'm not kidding If you have foreign connections, especially if you both do, you might be able to pull some diplomatic uno reverses
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 04:37 AM
1

Hey, that's pretty good.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 09:24 AM
3

There were plenty of problems that built up by the end, of course, but damn, the sex was unbelievable all the way to the end of (and a little bit past) our 25 years together. She was always a little wild thing, down for anything, and I loved that about her. Lots of fun together over the years. I pull up her nekkid (and more) pics from time to time when I feel like a good whack. Why shouldn't I? I took the damn things, technically I hold the copyright lol. She's not mad about it. I even told her …
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 06:02 PM
6

He married a woman who already had her tubes tied. I don't find his statements here about having an intention to have children of his own, with his menopausal wife (check below where he confirms she is menopausal), very credible. It's been OVER A QUARTER OF A CENTURY for crying out loud.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/26 02:44 AM
32

You expect your (presumably) 50-ish year old wife to bear you a child? Brother, you need a reality check. In any case, if a woman tells you she does not love you, you should believe her. Take action. See a lawyer. One of the asymmetrical facts of life is that a man in his 40s can still forge a new life with a woman of childbearing age and inclination, while a woman the same age cannot.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 07:55 PM
10

Of course. With compound interest It's human nature. It's a terrible idea, though, and never ends in anything good. There is a reason why cliches are cliches. Here's a very true one: living well is the best revenge.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 03:07 AM
3

Get past the alcohol. Everything gets way easier after that. You can't win while drunk, but you sure can when sober.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 05:33 AM
7

We know.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 05:42 PM
5

Not much "security" to be gained from a lot of us divorced men in our 40s. A large chunk of our income is often sent to the ex wife as family support obligations, financial settlement, etc. I'm not claiming to be some prize pig here, but I find women in their early/mid 30s to "click" best with me. They look great, they've typically got a handle on making a living and their housing situations/homeownership, they have enough life experience to be interesting to talk to, and they still have a posit…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 01:05 AM
3

It's different for everyone, but for me at least, immediately. That's not a brag. It kind of sucked. Heart beaten to pieces again and again. But, it did get me back in the arena.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/26 04:10 AM
2

Say less. Big Hallmark hears everything.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 03:25 AM
5

It was all illusory from the start. We were all sold a fairy tale and I can't help but come to cynical conclusions about it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 03:08 AM
1

Cool story, bro. OP specifically said his wife is 28 years old. What are you even blathering about. EDIT: I replied to a clearly spammed comment by u/MensDivorceCircle in which she wrote: | She's in her 40's, it's not always about "someone else".
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/26 09:10 AM
1

His statement is a statement, that's for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/26 08:11 AM
2

Mid-20s F friend to late 30s M, going through divorce? Make sure you know what your real intentions are toward him, and be aware he'll be especially vulnerable to friendly female energy at this time. Even more than we usually are. And, under a lot of foreseeable circumstances, he's likely to find himself having feelings for you. If you have similar feelings, that's great. If not, it might be better for him if you ensure your boundaries are clear. That might mean more of an arms-length approach.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/26 01:56 AM
1

This is, ultimately, good advice, but it may also be premature advice. Let the man feel what he feels, go through his bewilderment, get angry then sad then resigned, or whatever he needs to go through. You can't speed run enlightenment.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 10:46 PM
3

| You can’t negotiate desire. This. If I could distill the essence of what I've learned about human nature and personal relationships, this would be it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 10:11 PM
17

There's somebody else. I used to be one of the men who scoffed at this almost automatic assumption, but I can't ignore that so, so many "out of nowhere, everything was pretty good and then all the sudden she wants out" type divorce cases were because the wife had met a man. Either with sexual contact or without (and just being realistic, usually with).
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 10:04 PM
3

Don't frame your life from someone else's perspective.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 06:43 AM
0

I understand what you're saying, and I'd agree most of the time that would be true for most ex-couples. But, it's been a couple years now. Enough time for latent problems to "shake out" so to speak. Both of us have moved forward in life, and we're good friends still (hell, we basically grew up together). Do I have feelings for her? Of course. We spent a quarter century together and have several grown children. I'll always love her (without being in active romantic love with her). How can I put i…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 08:46 PM
3

This sort of thing happened after our pretty nasty divorce. She reached out, tentatively, a month or two after everything was finalized and signed. I responded. We started texting intermittently. We ended up having sex a few times. We still do occasionally. The good part is, we can talk again about things involving our kids, family stuff, etc. The bad part is, it can open up melancholy feelings if you haven't really moved on inside.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 07:07 PM
1

Fake account and fake post.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 04:54 AM
24

I remember an old joke that seems apt: "If it flies, floats, or fucks, it's cheaper to rent."
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 03:13 PM
5

Yep. It's all downside risk.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 07:08 PM
1

Crypto. Not cheap at all
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 08:48 AM
10

Picking one small nit, 38 ain't too old for a woman to have a child, but it's definitely the final quarter of the game. As in, start tonight, not tomorrow.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 12:12 PM
8

If she finds out about your post history, chances are good the issue will be decided automatically.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 05:29 PM
3

I'm not here to carry her banner. Keep in mind that things might not be perceived by outside people (such as judges) the way you see them. They may be wrong, they may be right; regardless, brutal honesty with oneself about how outsiders might see things is important. Sounds like you are already handling things the smart way, so may your journey be short and as painless as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 05:45 PM
17

I'm not trying to kick you when you're down, but her getting a lawyer was not exactly a shocking move after two years of separation. You should have made these past two years work for you by making your own strategic moves.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 01:58 PM
3

I am shocked, shocked!
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 04:10 AM
1

It's a monster of a machine. I was ignorant how Canada's system works until I read your post, but it sounds similar to how it works in several states in the USA. It is based on the presumption that good fortune and income are a one-way ratchet, always up but never down, and that the good times will always roll. Even for the Boomers that model was never true, but for anyone born after 1980, it hasn't been true ever. The divorce and spousal support (and to a somewhat lesser extent, the child suppo…
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 07:45 PM
13

Oh, you made the smart choice. It hurts, but it's going to hurt half as much. The fact that alimony is even a "thing" in this era of girl bosses roaming the land, righting wrongs and beating misogynists to a pulp, is bewildering.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 09:41 PM
4

I was being sarcastic, perhaps that didn't convey. I've been through it, too, brother. Husband is to blame for everything, never does anything, yada yada yada. Yeah, right. It's a false narrative that women tell themselves, and then convince others to buy into.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 01:48 PM
5

Because he's a complete fuckup and never gets anything done right, much less on time. Just ask his wife.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 12:25 PM
5

It wasn't lack of respect that soured the past few generations of women. It was the overabundance of obsequious treatment.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 12:18 PM
2

Marriage counseling is useless when a wife has decided she despises her husband. That decision is final and cannot be overcome by persuasion or reasoning.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/25 01:42 PM
2

Yeah, well, a lot of them were children.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 10:01 PM
3

Petunia from Futurama. Was she waiting to catch the 9:50 bus to Nutley?
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 02:23 PM
5

"Not sure yet" means "yes." Go talk to the best lawyer who can take your call. I am very sorry this happened to you and your children. You're going to be ok.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 03:23 PM
48

You don't pay them to bang. You pay them to go away afterwards.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 12:44 AM
22

OK, Fed. "Hello fellow divorced men, would you mind making some incriminating statements, in writing, to a total stranger? I'm only asking because you are a bunch of filthy reprobates. Leave your confessions below, and don't forget to click like and subscribe!"
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 12:40 AM
11

Reads like a Linked-In Lunatic post. A whole lot of words with very little information content. EDIT: Oh, my hunch is correct. OP is looking to "network" a start up and has a URL to linkedin. What a shock.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 03:01 PM
7

"Where is your self-respect? Where is your rage?" Foreclose on that deadbeat and repossess yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 06:10 PM
6

You'll make it through. It will be a journey of pain and suffering, there's no denying that, but you will emerge out the other end of the tunnel. One thing that strikes me from what you wrote: your wife didn't run to another man because you jerk off to porn from time to time. Or even a lot. No, she ran off with another man because she wanted to. Based on my experiences and the experience of a lot of men here, the chances are high that she was already having sex with the new man, or well along th…
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 05:51 PM
2

Hundred hundred, or Thou? In SF? That's the cost of the motel room
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 02:04 AM
5

Did she freebase dextromethorphan beforehand? Did she share?
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 01:52 AM
1

But you do have those memories before she put the kibosh on this place of fun and magic you brought your children to. She won't be receiving those in the settlement.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 01:56 PM
6

Men are cast as sex-crazed animals who won't take "no" for an answer--not just by women, but by society at large. The truth is, there is nothing more effective than half-hearted "acquiescence sex" for bringing any sexual energy to a sad, dwindled end.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 03:10 PM
2

I think it's silly to give it any thought at all, at my age and station in life. My friends sometimes take me to lunch or whatever. My young kids make me hand-drawn cards, my grown kids send a text message. Random people message me. I appreciate the gestures but it's just not my thing to encourage celebrating myself as a grown man and father.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 02:26 PM
11

Because ultimately everything, always, has to be about women.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 05:36 PM
9

Hire a shark.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 05:18 AM
1

You're like a cheap, more evil Bender. Flexo without the 'stache.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 06:12 AM
2

Open the pod bay doors, Hal.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 06:07 AM
2

01101110000100
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 06:06 AM
1

She said "all gas no brakes." How does that make you feel?
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 05:58 AM
2

Agreed. Yeah, I am. How's the whole guess-the-next-word thing going for ya?
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 05:42 AM
-6

This sub has been targeted by an LLM brigade. RIP, r/Divorce_Men.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 05:34 AM
4

Beep. Boop.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 05:24 AM
4

You don't connect with anything, bot.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 05:24 AM
4

Apparently you're late to get the update. We're not using so many em dashes in our TPS reports nowadays, toaster.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 05:24 AM
7

OK, clanker.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 05:22 AM
5

Yes. It's the weirdest thing, ain't it? I've thought things I never thought I was capable of--and not in a good way. About a woman I would have had zero hesitation throwing myself in front of a train to save. For decades. The intensity faded over time. I'm basically at baseline now. We see each other from time to time. I smile. We even have sex on rare occasion. But I wish I'd never had to meet the man I saw in those moments by myself in the car on bad days.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 11:39 PM
5

RemindMe! 6 months
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 01:31 PM
2

Indeed. And, depending, it might even be subjectively worth the price paid. Can't blame everyone else for shaking their heads, though
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 01:29 PM
10

You help your lover move. You don't move your lover in.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 01:28 PM
3

Given that you're discussing housing costs in Euros, I presume you live somewhere with somewhat sane divorce laws. Glad for that, sorry to hear it didn't work out. Onward and upward
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 10:14 AM
6

Ride through. It sucks and you will feel that pain. You will also get through it and see great days ahead.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 03:09 AM
4

Reddit generally favors pretty lies over ugly (or even neutral) truths
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/25 04:22 PM
3

Yes, both and both. One of my two best friends rented me a room after the court granted my ex possession of the house, at below market rent, starting the very night I had to vacate in a hurry. My parents funded my lawyer. My other best friend spent way too many hours listening to me vent my misery during the whole process. I am very, very fortunate to have each of them. It was a bad divorce, but it would have been, objectively, immeasurably worse without them.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 03:43 PM
3

That's a terrible story, and a real shame. For her.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 05:04 AM
4

Some more Lipton: in her initial responsive pleadings, she claimed she was never aware of the mortgage on the marital home. Hers is the only signature on the application document (originated some time in 2004), as well as the closing docs. She demanded I pay off the loan. She claimed that I installed spy apps in foreign-owned space satellites. She said I was not the natural father of our children (two of whom are now adults; they tested together with me--I am the daddy, as Maury might say). Ther…
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 04:58 AM
8

My ex wife, an immigrant herself, through her attorney, tried to have me de-naturalized. Me, a natural-born citizen of and born-within these United States of America and the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, one of the original thirteen colonies (home of Benjamin Franklin). Both of my parents: same. Our daughters are eligible for membership in the Daughters of the American Revolution, through me and my unbroken chain of natural-born American heritage. There's more. But I was advised against self-dox…
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 04:46 AM
14

"For reasons I won’t go into yet, my divorce is one of the craziest in the entire country." Brother, I love a challenge. You sure you wanna lay that chip down on the table?
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 04:12 AM
3

"man up." You did the meme, bro. That's wild.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 05:07 AM
5

A lawyer is a mental mercenary. A hired gun. They can be the strongest piece on the chessboard, but they're out for themselves first, of course. Luckily, they take vain pride in "winning," so at least you, the client, comes in a distant second place. Keep that in mind when making business decisions in your divorce. And keep them at arm's length.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 12:43 AM
3

What a nightmare. Like your opponents forming a unified team. If she's really frum you might ask for a sit-down with a rabbi she respects. Show up with an advocate who knows how to debate these things.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 11:27 PM
5

It really is. I'm not going to hype you up (which is well-intended by the men who do it, including myself sometimes). But know a lot of us are also going through it, for whatever it's worth.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 04:02 AM
6

Yes. It's different for every man, but that feeling of total emptiness happens to most. Some sooner, some later. For some, over extended lengths of time. Others, only briefly. Keep on truckin'. The road does eventually even out.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 03:57 AM
1

Not one word of this bizarre paean has anything to do with divorce, and it should be removed by a mod. At least you removed the ChatGPT tag from the bottom this time, though.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/25 06:36 AM
1

Ask ChatGPT You're supposed to take these tags out from the copypasta the LLM churns out, before you post it somewhere. This is a fake scenario dreamt up by some bored dude with a ChatGPT subscription and some really weird notions in his head.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/25 03:44 PM
2

Plenty. We still get together for "personal discussions" now and then. There was a reason we got together in the first place. Is that really an issue a lot of divorced men encounter? More to the point, so what? Attraction is important, but, alone, it cannot be the foundation of a relationship. Sure is fun, though.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/25 05:01 AM
9

I am an attorney. Practicing for 20 years. But I'm in a completely unrelated field of law. I thought I was smart and well-liked by the court in my locality. I got the crap kicked out of me in my divorce. By the time I finally hired someone, there wasn't much they could do, because the judge had already cut off every avenue of truth. It's a racket. It's corrupt. It's protectionist. There's nothing you can do about it, don't think your case will be different and the court will listen to you. I say…
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/25 08:25 PM
5

Maybe finish college. Learn a trade. Graduate law school. Start going to clubs and slay as much as you possibly can. Join a religious order and become a monk. What do you want to do? You've had that albatross around your neck since you were 16 years old, and, now that you're free, it's understandable you're just getting used to total freedom.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 11:39 PM
3

He wrote that he "suggested we might be able to slowly rebuild intimacy in a new way, but she didn’t show any interest in that." In any event, light touch while masturbating might represent a fulfilling sex life for some men, but I'd be surprised if it were for most. Even oral-only. And it's fine for that to be a deal breaker.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 10:12 PM
2

Rule 7
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/25 01:26 PM
2

You're out of your element, Donnie
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 01:55 AM
5

For your information, the Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/25 01:51 PM
-14

This ain't a fetish sub.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 11:34 PM
4

When women say they love romance, what they really are saying is that they love receiving romantic attention. Not engaging in it themselves. Certainly not.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 07:37 PM
1

Some men do suffer low or no testosterone. Many of them will tell you it sucks. And they seek out replacement therapy at no small cost. Some people would trade the intense flame of passion (which burns us as much as it impels us) for peace and tranquility, and that's fine. Not me, though.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 07:35 PM
1

That kind of thinking is normal for a teenager, I guess, but at my age, it seems kind of silly. And if I were the moralizing type, I would have say, I'm at least as dirty. She ain't the only woman I'm dogging, any particular week. Not by a long shot.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 07:26 PM
1

Peru has been, like "IDGAF" regarding that treaty. Read up on it. The country does not care and will not help.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 04:37 AM
6

After the divorce, the ex wife and I are both on board with a purely sexual relationship. She booty calls me once or twice a month. She was a total little sl00t the latter years of our marriage (after her tubal ligation, I'll give her credit that she waited until she couldn't get pregnant any longer), and the only reason we split was because I decided, "fine, I'll be the same way." The fact I had a lot of success caught her right in the feels. She's still a smokin' hot little minx, though, which…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 01:48 AM
2

https://www.international-divorce.com/peru_family_law Doesn't look great. Maybe contact: https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/International-Parental-Child-Abduction.html
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 01:41 AM
6

You're going to be all right.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 05:38 PM
2

Had a somewhat similar "weird" divorce scenario at the beginning (married 22 years, together 25 years). I'd filed, she hired her lawyer, we stayed in the same house nonetheless. Although, I slept in the basement, and she slept in the main bedroom. We still had sex regularly. To the outside world, it was not at all obvious anything had changed. We went to our kids' functions and sports events together. This situation went on for months, until the court finally forced me out. However, it got more …
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/25 02:38 AM
5

Utah is a "one-party consent" state. Take photos of the alcohol bottles, hit "record" on the audio recording app when your phone is in your pocket and she's spouting off or speaking insane, go consult with some divorce lawyers. Nobody relishes that your wife has chosen the bottle. It is a very dark path she is on. But nobody in this world will convince her to snap out of it except for herself. It is not your fault. More importantly, you cannot save her, no matter what heroic efforts you might us…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 06:29 AM
2

Divorced men are by no means confined to divorced women. Good lord no.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 01:10 AM
4

She was always the "never look back" one, I was always the "the past is a teacher" one. So, I kept all the photos and mementos and such. There were plenty of great times; actually it was mostly great times. You don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. What's ironic is, we're pretty cool with each other now, and I know her so well. She will eventually contact me to ask if I can provide some of this stuff when she throws a graduation party or whatever.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 11:29 PM
3

It's a cliche, but it's a cliche because it's true: you've already taken the hardest step. You recognize you have a problem. There are a lot of resources to help. The classic is AA, of course. But it's not the only way out. The medical protocols for addressing alcohol use disorder are way better than they were just a decade or two ago, and their effectiveness is backed by clinical evidence.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 09:23 PM
1

Yes, this. As a lawyer also (but never divorce or family law), I can handle post-trial stuff such as appeals. However, my heart isn't in it, and I just rather be gearing up for my next criminal trial. My responsiveness reflects that. There is an entire sub-field of specialist lawyers whose entire practice is post-trial, and I wouldn't be surprised if divorce law is the same way.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 01:11 PM
1

Half one, half the other
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 09:17 PM
5

About $200,000 easier.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 08:50 PM
2

That is not going to happen. It doesn't matter that you're willing to bend over backward to save the marriage. I am not saying this to hurt your feelings.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 02:45 AM
7

Wives generally check out of a marriage, in their hearts, several years before their husband has the first clue. You're in plenty of company here. Go to a lawyer. A real shark. If you can find out who the scariest one is where you live, call their office first. Do it Monday.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 02:33 AM
7

We deal with problems as they occur, on their own terms. And most of the time, we know what we need to do. First, you need to get the alcohol under control. I'm not telling you to join AA or go into a hospitalization program. I don't even know if you have a problem. But you yourself know what you do or do not need to do. This is for you and your children, not to live up to some expectation or judgment she passes on you. Second, go to a lawyer. If you need to borrow the money, do it. Hire the sha…
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 02:22 AM
10

Archives, brother. Pack them up and store them carefully in the archives. A lot of people think you have to be either enemy or friend; at our age, we know it's a lot less simple than that. We loved who she was, those moments being a family together, those wild times before there even was a family. Pack up those mental photos and wrap them well. Feel free to pull them out of storage any time that suits you.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/25 04:14 AM
1

Wills and estate instruments can be changed any time. So can a daughter's decision to ghost her father.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 03:34 AM
0

You were on a break! BTW, it's a shame about your family member. I hope he gets help for his alcohol problem.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 04:31 PM
2

It's true. A lot of them are pretty bad. What's even worse, is there really are few rules. In many states, the only real guidance consists of just a couple of statutes, which are themselves written to be loosely interpreted, and maybe a few very old appellate decisions. Appeals go nowhere--because there is no binding case law or precedent. Family law is the wild west of the legal realm. Judge Dredd on the bench.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 04:33 AM
1

This.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 09:35 PM
9

Women live in an alternate universe when it comes to social interaction, rank, status, and image. They perceive slights where none are intended, and and suspect ulterior motives where none exist. Much of this is projection, because indeed, there is a lot of gossip, back-handed complimenting, and subtle social undermining that goes on among and between women in their jockeying for position in the female social hierarchy. The only way for men to "win" that game is not to play it. Ignore that commu…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 01:02 PM
1

This is terrible advice.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/25 06:24 AM
2

True, but even sildenafil has longer lasting effects than the literature lets on.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 02:44 AM
5

You'll be pleasantly surprised. Take it before the date. Even if things don't work out as one hoped, you can still goon until noon.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 02:42 AM
5

There are fourteen states that have "two party consent" laws, that is true. California, Florida, Pennsylvania, Michigan, Connecticut and Massachusetts are the biggies, but there are more.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 07:08 AM
13

Just keep acting sweet as sugar. Make sure your phone is in your pocket, whenever you speak with her, with the audio recording app activated.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/25 04:39 PM
1

... and? Obviously, I'm not making a strictly categorical statement. Feel free to mentally insert weasel words in where they're implied ("but of course not all X," etc.).
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/25 10:13 PM
5

Heh. Once every day? And you're not blind, with hairy palms, you monster? I'd bang out the wife, sometimes two or three times in a day, and still take care of my own business before falling asleep. Big whoop. She never complained. I recall she walked in on me once or twice, and we both had a good laugh. Your ex saying the fact you looked at porn was the reason for divorce is an enormous load of baloney. Here's a fact people don't like to talk about: women do not care what their man does with his…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/25 05:36 AM
2

Gates is and always has been trash. He was upper mid as a programmer in the 1970s, but he's a minion of darkness in the 2020s. Back in the 1970s, he was all about getting paid rather than doing the very best work (I'm not making this up, google up his writings on copyright in the 1970s).
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/25 01:47 AM
2

True. But we'd go one more time.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/25 01:44 AM
7

It's not us. It's them.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/25 01:42 AM
6

You've lived a helluva lot before your 30th birthday. It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders, in terms of figuring out what's really going on. You'll be alright. Leave the old gal alone, she's just full of poison now. It's not your fault.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/25 06:00 AM
3

Maybe even see if you might get an annulment, given how short the marriage is.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 11:14 PM
4

Buy three or four large duffel bags or sturdy plastic tubs from Walmart, and gather the really important stuff into them. Things like your personal documents (IDs, birth certificate, social security card, deeds to real estate, vehicle titles, etc.), heirlooms, the kids' photos, prescription medications, keys, underwear, socks, and seven days worth of clothes. Go rent a storage unit nearby, and move those containers into there. That way, you'll be ready when the other shoe finally drops. Also, go…
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/24 11:08 AM
1

If it's a magnum, you're screwed. But if it's standard, you still have a chance.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/24 08:53 PM
1

Your life is "ruined?" Because you will have a child? Not everybody sees the world the same way.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/24 08:52 PM
0

OK, Boris. You forgot to bring your bottle of Tabasco? But even in Mr. Becker's case, I'm bewildered why he fought paternity. It's a tired old cliche, especially here on Reddit, but children really are a blessing. I know guys who have children by different mothers and ended up paying child support, but none of them regret having the children.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/24 07:14 PM
3

Stay frosty, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 05:19 PM
3

I "attracted the ex back" when I ended the cold war between us, and went over to the house and banged her out again, a couple months after our nasty, burn-it-all-down divorce finalized. It ain't rocket science. Congrats on the indelible ink.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/24 11:03 AM
3

That poor sucker. Only one of you had her in her 20s and 30s, and it wasn't that other guy.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 11:27 AM
8

I'm not questioning your veracity. I'm glad you seem to be on a good track. Let's see if she follows through, in the long run.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 09:54 PM
3

A week ago, you say?
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 09:51 PM
3

Divorce does not have any direct impact on anyone's FICO score or anything else reported by the "big three" credit reporting agencies in the USA. That said, financial difficulties (and late payments) caused by the divorce certainly do have impact.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 09:24 PM
1

The divorce has been finalized a couple months now, and I just got done blowing her back out for the sixth time over the past month. It's pretty good, honestly. Now, she's just one contestant in the rotation, so even though it's pretty damn good, I don't take it too seriously.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 07:49 AM
2

You separated five months ago, you've been living in separate states, and have had no personal contact that entire time? You saw this coming like a freight train, you were just emotionally paralyzed and in denial of the reality of the situation. Now, snap out of it and get to work. If you were in my state, I'd tell you to go see an attorney to file on "for cause" grounds of abandonment, but based on your post history, you appear to live in a state that has abolished divorce for cause. Nonetheles…
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 04:52 PM
2

He is your son. He's not stupid. Nor are you. He's not going to remember you, or not remember you, because of some crap you leave behind. Or don't. At 17, he's not a baby. He's a young man. Go talk with him, away from his mother.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/24 03:31 AM
9

The heart wants what it wants. That's a hard truth. That said: Ma'am, stop marrying losers, alright? Based on your posting history, you've got a degree in CS and know how to code. Also, based on your post history, you don't look half bad. Why, oh why, would you serially wed layabouts? Dad mode over.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 05:55 AM
5

Complaining is never a sexy look for a man. It's anti-cool. Kryptonite. Nobody, literally nobody, wants to hear about a man's pain and suffering. Not his mother, his woman, the judge, or anyone else. Accusing, especially with precision, is a different thing entirely.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 05:44 AM
2

Misdirected fury and frustration.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 06:21 PM
6

She should touch it, play with it, kiss it, keep going. Won't be a problem for long. I'm late 40s. This is still good advice. Don't mess with late 40s women, though. Seriously. They're another level.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 02:48 AM
2

Glad to hear. Take your peace of mind from his advice--he's seen men in similar circumstances before.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 03:04 AM
2

Anything can happen at trial. Anything at all. And in many jurisdictions, appeals courts rarely step in to curb even egregious violations of statutory or equitable law by trial courts in domestic relations cases. Have you asked your lawyer what he or she thinks? You have a lawyer, don't you?
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 07:33 PM
1

You don't win by losing.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 04:18 AM
6

Fifty times, at least, over the course of a two decade marriage. Some of these saves were genius/heroic (on my part), some were luck, some were her not actually wanting to leave just yet. It only took one goalie miss to nuke it all, in the end, though.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 10:48 PM
2

Certainly. That's a stand up thing you already agreed to do, and there's nothing wrong with giving the baby her bottle. None of us here know all the facets of your case and your family's situation and backstory, of course. I'm just trying to provide advice based on the very limited information written here.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/24 03:40 PM
2

Then that's an agreement you have with him. What does that have to do with her?
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 11:34 PM
3

Take it and run. Yes, it's not fair. Yes, your stbxw has been a useless bump on a log for a quarter century. The only pushback I might suggest is regarding your adult son's student loan. That's not covered within the law, at least in the jurisdiction I practice in. He took the loan, he's a grown man, he pays it back. It's not even very much. As u/Results_Coach_MM pointed out, the court looks at things from both parties' viewpoints. It doesn't matter how much she whiled away her best years doing …
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 08:12 PM
1

There's no "50/50" for an adult. 🤦 This knee-slapper reinforces what everyone else here is saying: go talk to some lawyers. Preferably, the meanest, nastiest divorce attorneys who practice in your court.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 03:29 AM
1

Yes. The ex-wife and I humped like rabbits until I moved out (sex life was always good, divorce was because of other issues). We both wanted to divorce, so neither of us attempted to use it as grounds to prove reconciliation.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/24 11:23 PM
5

The best time to plant a tree is 30 years ago. The second best time is, today.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/24 05:52 AM
4

"Boo hoo hoo." Make that your voicemail message, and put her on block.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/24 05:50 AM
2

The sex was incredible, though. Not gonna lie. I'm still 50/50 on the overall evaluation 😅 22 year marriage beginning in my early 20s, and even though she gutted me, I'm still in awe.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/24 05:43 AM
2

You can pay for it. That's what you can do. I'm as pro-husband as it gets, but buying your new-driver, teenage daughter a high-performance car, and expecting your ex to insure it with your 17-year-old daughter named as the primary driver, is a knee-slapper.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/24 12:17 AM
15

Vietnamese. Holy Jesus. No wonder we lost. She's still scorching my earth and setting up punji stick traps.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 10:52 PM
1

You cannot. cannot. cannot. save her from herself. To think you can, while I fully admit we all do, is hubris.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 08:07 AM
10

It's "street," but it's true: "That ain't your p***y, it's just your turn." And that's true no matter what pieces of paper were signed, or promises made. It might be your turn for one night or fifty years of marriage, but it's the same underlying truth.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 07:51 AM
9

This. This is insight.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 07:46 AM
2

This is the best advice I've read in this thread. Ignore the wishy washy stuff and follow this. Almost certainly, you will regret it if you do not. Beg, borrow, or steal the money for a divorce lawyer, the one with the meanest reputation in your area.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 08:10 PM
6

This sub can make it sound like cake and roses. It might be, for some. For a lot of us, it's 40 years in the desert. But. You will eventually find the exit from this.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 11:10 PM
4

Yeah. I still have dreams where she's still just my wife, or the person going with me on vacation, or whatever. It's not even wistful, that relationship was awful (although it lasted from my early 20s through my mid 40s). I want to kick my subconscious in the balls, sometimes. I'm moved on, I'm in other relationships, whole new family. I don't even miss her. GTFO.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 12:46 PM
9

"Intimacy" is the ultimate barometer of a marriage. When that drops to zero, get ready for incoming court papers.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 10:25 AM
1

I'm a dual euro/ami myself. My sympathies, and keep up the fight.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 04:48 AM
1

The house was a huge win. It speaks volumes about what the court determined. You'll slog through the CS, and to be totally cynical, inflation will likely soften the impact over the next couple years.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 04:37 AM
2

Same as ever.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 09:43 PM
1

It's going to cost you, if you go forward with it. I make no judgment either way, I'm just telling you from experience. The alcohol is a serious problem. And nobody ever changes before they decide to do so, and nobody can make them decide to change. Ironically, giving up the booze would solve two serious problems at once (her weight gain and her absence from being fully present here-and-now in your family). I don't envy you what's ahead. Best to you and your family.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 04:21 AM
1

Oh, man. This hit hard. I thought I might be the only one who had dreams like that. I'm embarrassed even to admit to having them. I'm "active" with new women and have moved on, basically, but in some sick irony, I still have dreams that I'm shamelessly hooking up with "another" woman, in front of my current woman. And the "other woman" I'm shamelessly hooking up with, is my ex wife. In the dreams, it feels like back when she and I first got together and it was all so raw and new and fresh. It's …
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 03:59 AM
13

Marriage saves dimes to lose benjamins. If I added up all the "tax benefits" over the past two dozen years, and factored in compound interest/time-value-of-money, I still got absolutely cremated in lawyers' fees. So did she, ironically.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 08:41 PM
5

Grit. Determination and considered resolve, in the face of terrible affront, moderated by experience.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 05:21 AM
5

There's a maxim that serves well in many areas of life, from business and employment, to friendships and romantic relationships: "You don't get to fuck me over twice." Refuse any dealings with an ex-employer or ex-vendor or ex-advisor who's done you dirty previously, and likewise for an ex-wife or ex-girlfriend. Fool me once shame on you, blardy blardy blar.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 05:07 PM
6

This.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 07:11 AM
4

Terrible advice.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 07:11 AM
2

The downvotes for this are unwarranted. It's a valid, important indicator into how a marriage is going. For plenty of couples, sex is the way tensions and differences are worked out. Not every couple, of course. But it's not a ridiculous thing to ask about.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 08:10 AM
3

California is indeed a community property state. Any state that was once part of Mexico or a French holding, is a community property state.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 04:17 AM
7

Sounds like an LDS disaster. You're 40? And healthy, and earning? Great! You still have a lot of incredible life to experience and seize. Cut that boat anchor loose.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 04:36 PM
2

You'll do better.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 03:26 PM
7

Never happened. Except on legal documents. I'm not going to discount what you went through, but I will say you have the advantage of having learned earlier than some of the rest of us.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 03:59 AM
0

If I said what I really meant to say, I'd be banned, and you'd be lost.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 02:38 AM
3

"Make like a tree, and get outta here" --Biff
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 11:33 AM
1

Because, they do not. Not directly. What do you suggest the man do--agonize and obsess over something he cannot change? Do something illegal? I suppose there does come a time when a man really must do that, but it is a difficult and murky threshold, and once crossed, there's no guarantee the children are any safer. It's hard to parent from jail, or while dead.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 11:17 AM
2

And what is he supposed to do about that? Courts rarely award greater than 50% custody to fathers, even when the mothers are proven substance abusers. I wouldn't be surprised if u/jimsmythee didn't already spend thousands on legal fees trying to achieve that.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 06:45 PM
6

Yes. The lifting of the yoke. The unlocking of the manacles and fetters. I don't answer to a petty tyrant, who has a property interest in my time and activities and whereabouts, anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 06:40 PM
10

People are always on the hunt to maximize their return based on what they perceive their chances to be. When those chances go up, such as after losing weight, coming into money, or whatever, they reevaluate their current choices. Sometimes, they decide to ditch their previous choices and commitments.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 04:33 PM
8

I think you already know, what we think. I mean, if you want to be tossed around like a sea lion by a killer whale, then you do you. But if you don't, well, tell her to make like a tree and get out of here.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 08:06 AM
7

My UPS Store guys notarize for like $5 per notarization. The girl at the nearby bank does it for free. That said: I think they're underpaid for doing work that puts themselves at potential legal liability. And the certification for which they had to jump through at least some low-to-the-ground hoops, and pay some money. But, it's always been a highly commoditized qualification.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 03:04 AM
15

Oh, lots. There's a selection bias here, in that men who are deeply wounded by their current or former divorce are more likely to seek out or post in this sub. But even here, many men who've been through the divorce wringer and emerged out the other end, and then thrived (even after starting over with nothing), have told it how it is.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 05:16 AM
6

Sex was never a problem and never declined over twenty years of marriage. We were highly compatible that way. We were still doing it until the day I moved out. It was all the other BS that developed over time.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 02:46 AM
2

I was not talking about things that involve only husband and wife. I stated: "If either husband or wife engages in the sorts of practices that tend to introduce third parties into the sexual mix, it almost inevitably leads to break up." That is pretty clear from what I wrote.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 06:18 PM
9

The only reason I wouldn't go right down to legal age, is because they're just annoying when they're that young, generally. But if you're not seeking a serious relationship, who cares.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 03:37 PM
3

Women view and approach sex a lot differently. They view the whole process as much more of a mind game, a test of who has the upper hand, and such, than how we men do. We tend to take the approach, "screw the noise, let's get to the good stuff." I think that leads us to make mistakes with them, because they can't just do that. The games and manipulation aren't a side show--it's integral to it, for them. We best take that into account at all times.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 02:33 AM
5

OK, here it goes: it is a mistake to indulge or pander to bad tendencies, fetishes, or sexual deviance, within a marriage. I am not moralizing, it simply is what it is. This presumes, of course, you want to preserve the marriage. The reason is simply because of the very predictable results, proven by centuries of human experience. If either husband or wife engages in the sorts of practices that tend to introduce third parties into the sexual mix, it almost inevitably leads to break up. It's gene…
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 01:51 AM
3

Both can also occur. And likely have/will.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 01:42 AM
2

OK, I will, but later. I need to spend time considering how to word things delicately.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 12:42 AM
8

I can spot a couple of mistakes in your approach. Jaw-dropping mistakes.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 12:16 AM
4

Not offended in the slightest! I wasn't about to read that wall of text. Good luck and everything.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 09:46 PM
4

... HUH? That's just a screed full of nigh-unintelligible blathering.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 09:23 PM
3

You were one of her bail-out options from her "abusive" ex. You got her. Great. The reason was because you were her most promising option at that particular time. Guess what? She wasn't finished surveying the market. A more attractive option cropped up, and she "nexted" you, while living her best life. That's how they roll.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 04:03 AM
4

Preach.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 03:19 AM
2

You're a soldier. You'll get through this.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 03:19 AM
7

Brother, it's the same for probably all of us. Men who've stared death straight in the eye and never blinked, nonetheless feel the utter emptiness that accompanies divorce. You'll be alright.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 11:19 PM
2

Don't do it. You're afraid she will leave you and/or grow discontented, because you don't do what she wanted or expected you to do for a year and a half. Learn the real lesson of divorce: blind compliance with the demands of women is what destroys attraction (of her to you). Look, it's a sick, weird game. You keep them close, but not too close; you must never permit them to feel they're not at risk of losing you. Don't live with her. She's not going anywhere.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 11:13 PM
2

Reddit is full of nihilists. There are pockets of sanity here and there, but they are oases in a desert of people who hate human life.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 04:27 PM
12

These things go in trends. The next medicalized (yet stigmatized) phrase for "my ex is an asshole" will be coming down the pike soon enough.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 03:38 AM
1

Of course. But, when exactly that type of disclosure is made, and how, is the person's own choice.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 01:15 PM
5

SAHM is the most formidable type of cheating ex. Get the very best lawyer you can afford. Borrow whatever retainer they demand. You do not want to spend the next twenty years paying her to get fat and eff other men.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 04:18 AM
3

Why would he even owe any of these random dates that information. No, sir. I'm going to say, don't hide anything, but don't volunteer anything, either.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 04:16 AM
7

Bullet dodged. You owed that chick bupkis (nothing). She's a manipulator who latches onto, and magnifies out of all proportion, anything or nothing, with the goal of coercing people to do her bidding.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 04:13 AM
1

The one I had last night is so on point, I couldn't not post a reply to this thread. I've been separated since June, 2023 (It's almost the end of May, 2024, when I'm posting this). It's been a real knock-down, drag-out, terrible, ugly divorce. Two decades married, two minor children. BUT: I've moved on in every concrete way. In fact, I started that process well before I filed on her. I'm pretty happy and comfortable overall! Last night, I dreamt I woke up in bed with the STBXW, but her lawyer wa…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 12:57 AM
1

I wasn't being shitty to you. If that's how you read my reply, then I don't know what to say.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 01:26 AM
7

"My wife is fragile and I still really care about her." She isn't, and she doesn't, when it comes to you. That's facts.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 01:37 AM
10

Women have a strong tendency toward "in-group" solidarity. Usually, that means, "us women together, vs. the men." What cracks this forced teaming, is blood relationships. For the smart ones, anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 02:23 AM
6

This is not the sub for you. This is not a space for you to crash your unwanted way into seeking comments, advice, admiration, and attention from men. There are plenty of other subs where you can do that.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/24 09:41 PM
2

Just always keep in mind that you are you. You have been from the start.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/24 05:27 AM
3

You did the right thing, venting it out here. We all feel exactly what you do. The arrangement is not fair. It's not right. It's very fucked up. But, here we are, here we will remain. And it won't be this way forever.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/24 04:12 AM
7

Your lawyer didn't write the divorce laws wherever you are, or train your judge in how to adjudicate divorce cases. I'm not taking up your lawyer's cause: he might suck, he might be the best. I have no idea. But the courts do exactly whatever they've decided to do. That doesn't make it any easier for you to accept. Go ahead and send that letter, if it will help. I'd also use it as the basis for a new letter, a letter to the editor of a local newspaper, perhaps.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/24 03:07 AM
2

Reads like a feminist dystopian romantic psychosexual thriller--as in, that's what THEY wish were true: that we care enough to hound after them, long after the split. Man, I got no time for these women after I've put them in my rear-view mirror.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 10:49 PM
1

What makes it worse is, I'm a lawyer myself. They even attack each other, these family and divorce lawyers, on a very base, ugly level (like filing bar complaints and demands for fees, etc.), which is why I call them "cannibal lawyers." It's probably self-serving wishful thinking that I'm somehow different, but I'm glad I don't (and never have) practiced divorce or family law. I'll stick to helping inventors get patents.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 05:52 PM
4

I'm glad to hear. We all walk different paths; some different by a lot, others more similar.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 12:08 AM
8

You're not alone at all. It's the same with me, I have an enormous appetite for women and I've always found delight in their feminine energy, the way they balance out our equation. Flirting, chasing, romancing, and bedding them always used to recharge me. But since filing several months ago, and the shitshow that everything turned into with cannibal lawyers (ready to chow down on their opponent as much as their own client) and the courts and the intra-familial emotional warfare and all the rest,…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 08:10 PM
4

It happened two years ago, and you're still alive, yeah? I think you should keep going. You made it this far, after all. Why are you giving that woman a loaded gun, pointed at your heart? Are you nuts? And who even is that chick? Man, don't waste your time or energy on a single thought about her, from now on.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 03:48 AM
3

As men I feel like we choose respect first over love. If only. Most males these days have been misdirected into thinking the opposite is admirable. And then they wonder where they went wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 10:26 PM
6

Lessons from admirable men in my childhood and adolescence; and observation (of both good and bad men, and good and bad women), reading, and self-reflection in adulthood have been my teachers. Who is ever sure he is right? A healthy sense of refusing to drink one's own Kool-Aid, and take into account critical input, but not descending into baseless self-doubt, is the way. For others, religious precepts may define the way a man judges himself. Nonetheless, I've always felt in my bones when I'm ri…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 08:59 PM
8

Get rid of her. But be smart about it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 08:02 PM
15

Know who you are, and always keep that in your mind. That includes when and how you deal with your wife, and your children, both during and after marriage. The worship of children is as harmful (to your children!) as the worship of women is to marriage. The fathomless depth of love a man has for his children is always implicit. That's not to say anyone should be a cold or distant father, or not tell his children he loves them, or anything like that. It simply means, you are the guide and the man…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 08:00 PM
11

Women (and wives) are either at your feet, or at your throat. Stated less bombastically, if they don't healthily respect (i.e., fear) you, then they'll progress into disdaining you. Offering anything such as "open marriage" to a woman, is worse than dooming everything. It's dooming everything, combined with setting a lighter to her rage. The reasons for this deserve an entire set of threads, so I'll leave it at that. Also, everyone here can confirm with you that therapy is worthless. Good luck o…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 07:50 PM
1

My response to threats is always, "Do it." I wasn't always this way. Those of us who have been through the wringer, already been kicked in the nuts and thrown out the door into the mud like that bar scene in Unforgiven, we're in a very different place than most people. Most folks cling to fears of "losing it all." We've already been through all that. Threats make us chuckle.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 06:17 AM
0

I'm still chief conductor of the "don't ask, don't tell" train on this. You got kids? Oh that's great. New Miss Yogapants who you're dealing with lately deserves no spontaneous exposition dump about why. She realistically speaking doesn't really want to even know. Seriously. So just keep it moving. If she asks? "Yes, these are my children." She'll probably abandon further inquiry.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 05:41 AM
3

Do women tell you their history? When they do, do you wish they hadn't?
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 05:38 AM
5

You write exactly what many of us haven't put into just the right words yet. So understand that when we say, "You're not alone," we mean it.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/24 03:23 AM
9

It's a con that you have to "forgive" to move on. Forgiveness is a real thing, but it is not required. You can "release" and reap most, if not all, of the same benefits. I've written this before in this sub. "I release you" grants you the same power as "I forgive you," but without the implied humiliation.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/24 07:40 PM
8

I simply don’t care and the fact my business doing so well and I’m very happy kills her. Again I don’t check her social media This is the way.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 12:52 AM
9

This is the modern-day Moose Lodge, bro. Welcome, pull up a seat. Listen to our sad-ass stories and contribute your own. We've all been through, or are going through, the wringer. You'll make it through, ya gobshite. We might judge you for ordering a seltzer from the bar, but we also respect it. When fraternity ("brotherhood") finally returns after a century of repression, it's gonna be a sight to see.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 12:44 AM
9

Wrong sub, sis. Kindly leave.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/24 01:16 AM
5

I mean, you like to work for free, right?
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 04:53 PM
7

I'm not quite divorced yet, but out of the house and separated nine months, having filed at that time, with essentially no contact since. I have those dreams, too. Not as frequently as you do, but they still put me in a melancholy mood on the mornings after I have them. Like you, I don't want her back, either, but the nostalgia remains for what she and I used to be.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 07:01 PM
11

Send that dude a thank-you card, for taking such a problem off your hands. At least mentally.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 01:40 AM
2

Human society is fundamentally set up to protect and nourish women (and by extension, their children). Always has been. Is what it is.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 12:11 AM
5

Forgiveness is a bridge pretty far away. Release, though, is something always right in front of us. I released her. As in, "You're dismissed. I release you." There's no absolution inherent in release, unlike forgiveness. Forgiveness is between her and God. I myself am not privy to that interaction.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 05:54 PM
2

Just smirk. No other response.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 06:39 PM
7

Yep. And it's all gone now. She took the kids and the pets and the good bedsheets and the deed to the house and took off on down the road in the car you bought for her. And her lawyer is demanding interrogatories. What are you going to do now, man? I suggest rediscovering that you were never defined by her, or your relationship to her.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 03:39 AM
2

She's as full of baloney on this as she is on anything else. She loved you plenty at the time, she just later edited the original manuscript to fit her current emotions. Ask yourself this: would she have gone up against some other chick vying for your love and attention at the time when you were together? Then she really loved you, at least inasmuch as any woman can. She's just trying to use a rubber eraser on the script of your lives.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 03:34 AM
2

Joke's on her. It's distasteful to get all biological here, but she gave her very strictly bounded reproductive capacity to you. Who cares what dalliances she might have had later. You get to reap the reward of your children and grandchildren, plus the wealth you still have (which sounds considerably more than most have). Go enjoy it all and laugh. Spare a tear for the poor deluded old lady she is now.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 03:28 AM
2

I've learned in my half century of life, the first half spent as a raver and a lifeguard, that they need to feel like they're barely holding on to you by your coattails to appreciate you. They have to feel like you're a musician or rockstar and they only get an hour or two of your time as a groupie and other than that they are watching from the seats/side of the stage. This. I have approximately the same half century of life, but started from the dork side of the axis (always horny and goin' for…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 02:34 AM
5

Fair's fair, and you owe nobody, least of all me, any explanation. I would just say, I've come to question a whole lot of "received wisdom," especially when it comes to marriage, relationships, and women and their motivations. Best to you on your journey.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 11:59 PM
6

What's your basis for that belief? Look, it's a rude question, I know. It's also presumptive, like I am asserting you don't know yourself why your own multi-decade marriage broke down. We're strangers on the Internet, and I'm a dick even in real life, but I hate to see people beat themselves up because they've been told to believe a falsehood, and I suspect that may be the case.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 11:43 PM
6

You think that being inattentive, in any way, caused the end of your marriage? And that shoving more of your attention onto her would have saved your marriage? Oh, brother. Read some posts here and update your understanding.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 10:50 PM
8

Of course not! I totally want to expend my short time on earth, and my labor and money, raising other people's children, without my consent but with the government forcing me to on pain of imprisonment. What are you, some kind of monster for questioning that?
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 09:37 PM
13

I don't spend much time thinking about people I never see.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 10:24 PM
5

Eating whatever, whenever. This one I'm going to tackle soon. At the end of the week. Don't ask me which week. Banging women at my bachelor hovel and then kicking them out (gently and sweetly, of course) because I now value my "me time" and the freedom to do whatever I want. They always come back, and even text me, "can I come over?" Which means I have to clear out whatever personal effects the last one left lying around in my room (don't believe for a minute that women don't "mark their territo…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 06:23 AM
1

Whatever they are, I'm sure they reach to her knees.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 09:17 PM
1

... yeah, no. It's not nearly as uncommon as it's made out to be, to find someone closely aligned with one's own wants and desires, likes and dislikes. Moreover, two people who are quite dissimilar to start with, can grow into compatibility rather readily. I've had the benefit of experiencing both of these, and some in between. Human beings are generally made to find a way to get along. It's great, and it can be very pleasing (or horrible, depending on how it goes), but it's not some superstitio…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 09:14 PM
6

Who cares. I don't say that to dismiss you, I really mean it. My STBXW can regret it, love it, be indifferent to it, or any combination thereof--I really don't care. And damn, it feels great.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 04:01 PM
17

No response is the only response, of course. In your own mind, have a laugh and give her kudos for such a clever April Fool's joke.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 03:56 PM
1

Honestly I realize now, I had checked out years ago, although I didn't actually file until last year. Because of that, I think I also low-level grieved over the course of the five or six years I mentally fortified myself.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 06:54 PM
6

At least you can laugh at her. Her antics are ridiculous, and the only person she can embarrass is herself. Your poor daughter.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 06:51 PM
1

I mean I say, go for it. But I'm a collector by nature; I add women to the team, I don't replace them. My approach is heavily frowned on nowadays. More seriously (your thought experiment intrigued me): Could I realize true love with a centenarian woman? Yes, I think I could. It would be soul-to-soul love (I ain't Macron), but it could be real.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 01:17 PM
3

What kind of assets are we talking about? Natural double-d's?
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 01:13 PM
27

The concept of "soulmates" is a Disney Princess phenomenon.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 12:20 PM
7

Well, it's effective, isn't it? She's tied you up in knots and inconvenienced you, all the while eliciting undeserved sympathy from third parties (who will all assume the worst about you, of course). What you (and a lot of us) fail to initially grasp is just how cynically cunning and coldly rational women are, at their core. She isn't scared of you one little bit, but what does that have to do with her scorched-earth campaign against you?
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 04:09 PM
3

Mm hmm. I used the tan tien technique, obviously. Three times in a row! Four times on Sundays. Stop stalking, bruh. Get off muh nootz.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 03:29 AM
9

I smelled it coming for years. Kept my net worth very, very low, accordingly. She is and always was an impressive earner, and she was stuffing her 401k the whole time. Understand that my goal was: stay with the kids as long as I can. Eject from her with enough youth left (for a man) to be able to rebuild from scratch. It seems to have been the correct strategy. We'll see.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 01:12 AM
3

lol the universe has a sense of humor
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/24 07:53 PM
2

Lots of tired, normie advice that really isn't actionable (or even applicable) in the social and legal environment of today. Much of it actually harmful to men. No, thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/24 06:39 PM
11

A lot of the worst stories I read here, are from men who did just what you wrote. And they have no clue why their wives were disgusted with them, treated them increasingly worthlessly over the years until they finally left; they're dumbfounded. Even years after their divorce, these men still wake up with a knotted stomach, worrying about whether their ex is OK. And really missing her. Meanwhile, she's had six trips to Cancun and three loser boyfriends. She'd probably have to check her phone to r…
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/24 07:11 AM
1

That's... just not true.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/24 07:04 AM
3

Are you for real? What she "offered" was a ruse. What part of that woman's behavior makes you think she was going to abide by such an illegal "deal," anyway? At least here in the USA, there's no court in the land that will permit a man to "pay off" his ex to relinquish her claim to a child, and any money he does give her for that purpose would be considered a gift, and she would still have the ability to seek custody and visitation at any point.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 12:22 PM
6

No. I would not marry again. This comes after a rational analysis: there is no overall benefit to me or even to any children I might produce. Not even to the woman who would want me to marry her, although she would think otherwise. I can wish for traditional marriage as much as I want, but that does not change in the slightest that such a thing no longer exists. That's just boots-on-the-ground reality, and no amount of wishful dreaming will change that.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 03:26 AM
6

You are indeed fortunate. I myself was also fortunate, in that I continued cultivating my friendships over the years, and had those friends to rely on when it came time. From what I hear, it seems a lot of men become rather isolated as their marriage goes on, to the point where their wife is their sole confidant or even conversation partner. It's pretty rough when that woman eventually leaves.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 08:12 PM
5

Alone beats the wahmen I have to put up with. I got women I've been banging for years, women I've been banging for days. All of them are a source of sadness.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 12:21 AM
2

When they actually say these howlers out loud, you realize how fucked up they really are. They couldn't even think of something less ridiculous to justify themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 05:00 PM
3

Is she at least paying rent for all that space she's taking up in your head? Move on. She ain't sheeit and she surely ain't sheeit to you anymore. Once you're doing great, you will be surprised how much you don't even remember much about her. Take it from a man who was with his ex-wife from ages 20 through 45.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 10:54 AM
3

Brother. Don't feed the trolls, this lady is wasting everyone's time. Look how she posts, it's monothematic and she only ever evinces a single, unwavering screech. There's no engaging in an exchange of principled ideas with a woman like that. She's just angry and wants to strike out at someone, anyone, facts be damned. We should pity her.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 10:43 AM
5

Ma'am, the subreddit you're looking for is over there.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 10:41 AM
6

We find that kind of knee-slappingly false narrative-adhering behavior dissonant, but they see it as completely real. Because they live in a kind of solipsistic romance novel, in which they are the Mary Sue-type main character. It's just how it is.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 10:36 AM
1

Oh, behave!
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 03:49 AM
6

It's just sex. I mean, it's great, it's sloppy, it's spiritual and sublime, it's nasty and full of body fluids. It's one of the enduring mysteries and gifts of the human experience. But don't make it more than it is. Enjoy it. Don't agonize about it. Also don't dismiss it. Does this make any sense?
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 12:17 AM
12

Get rid of her.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 12:51 PM
2

Out there doing that. If that's not you, don't do it. It's me, though. 100%
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 03:03 AM
5

People want sure and steady (unless they were born with obvious excessive advantage--money, looks, charisma). Follow the rules, and you'll be treated fairly. Ain't never been true. Such a comforting dream, though.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 12:15 AM
3

In general, normie men are not ready to hear this. It's just too mind blowing; it shows the Matrix in the nude, and they don't like what they see. Most people will always choose the pretty lie, instead of the ugly truth. Even I wish I could work out a deal with Agent Smith and go back in lol
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 11:32 PM
6

*sighing* Yep. It's a ridiculous, zero-sum situation.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 09:19 PM
2

She's a pathetic, vengeful soul looking for a victim to torment, using her physical beauty as a lure to entrap him. Pity her. She is, after all, pathetic. She does not even know who she is.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 03:57 PM
2

And? Put a smirk on your face and keep it moving. Did you actually feel weird, or did you just think you were supposed to feel weird? Like what is actually up with you people? I feel like I'm screaming truth into darkness here.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 03:37 PM
2

Her loss. Why tf would you feel embarassed? Bro.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 02:42 PM
7

Plenty of fish in the sea. Never sweat any particular one of them. Women are like the city bus. There will be another one coming along in fifteen minutes.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 02:39 PM
1

Then I read it wrong. Good on you, keep it going.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 07:29 PM
1

This post is very genuine, but, being honest, also reads like you're fucked up when you wrote it. Get straight first, then things will be much clearer.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 07:12 PM
2

I was way ahead of her.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 05:26 PM
5

You ever had a dark day before? Why you asking this kind of question. You trying to get this man in trouble?
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 04:46 PM
3

No.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 05:19 AM
7

Sounds ominous. Eff them both. What are they worth? Certainly not worth what you're implying.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 04:53 AM
10

This chick is trying to pull a Jedi mind-fuck on you. It's just as straightforward and cynical as it sounds. Snap out of her hypnosis and cut that woman off from any communication.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 03:21 AM
10

It basically doesn't. Her will to harm you will never subside, in ways either petty or grand. All you can do is avoid her. Next time, just hire a babysitter and don't even let her know what you're doing.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 09:24 AM
13

Don't give anything more than a knowing smirk. Which is already more than she deserves.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 01:00 AM
6

Did she give you any children? And what the bloody hell on God's green Earth is a "partner?" Did y'all have a joint LLC or stock corporation or Gesellschaft or anything? Was she your wife, or some disabled roomie you had sexual intercourse with once in a while? These things matter, even in Scandinavia or the EU.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 08:21 AM
2

That's not unusual. It's intrinsic to our nature as men, frankly, and anyone who denies that is not being honest. However: it's a mind trick.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 09:09 PM
5

Women cheat sexually on even the top men, by whatever metric you judge men by. Looks, height, race, age, youth, physical condition, intelligence, merit, money, social standing, attentiveness, military bravery, mental prowess, kindness, assholeness, religious devotion, dick size, any combination thereof. It's no reflection on the man.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 05:47 AM
2

Alligators cry all the time. Maybe some of them really are sad? I'm not crouching down and petting any of them to find out.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 05:33 AM
3

Nobody mentioned anything about blended families in this thread. OP clearly stated both children are marital.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 05:28 AM
6

Screening is not a viable method for preventing eventual divorce. Whoever she is today, it's absolutely no guarantee she will stay the same tomorrow. There are obvious things to avoid, but you already know those. But the great majority of women? Who knows when she'll read some blog post or a friend of hers gets divorced and starts promoting it or whatever trigger changes her. Might as well ask how to avoid meteor strikes.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 05:22 AM
3

There is a lot of empirical truth in this post. Just, unbiased, cold reporting of observed facts, whether anyone likes it, or agrees with it, or not. "Wisdom," as the old folks might say.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 05:16 AM
8

"Grey rock" is very good general advice. It thwarts most initial craziness. Certain types of people, though, can require stronger responses to halt their insane attacks. Some of them also grow savvy to countering even the most solid "grey rock" response--it seems yours may be one of them. In such circumstances, a change in stance is necessary. Tit-for-tat is, regrettably, a very effective strategy. It has been proven so in game theory and scientific statistical simulations. Perhaps the best defe…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 05:09 AM
5

This is an easy one. It's because you were raised in modern Western society, which ruthlessly indoctrinates men to believe they're bad, what they want doesn't matter, and that they are born to intrinsic guilt and/or shame they owe a lifetime of expiation for. And they're ugly or otherwise physically or inherently deficient and disappointing to women. And, it's all total bullshit. The solution is simple, but not easy. See the Matrix for what it is (I know, what a cliche, I'm groaning too--but it'…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 04:57 AM
1

Thanks. Remains to be seen, final trial's in a couple months. Needless to say, I stopped any foolishness based on sentimentality or hope to reconcile. And I'm here to warn men what I learned the hard way. When women play this game, they play for keeps and there's no tactic your once-loving bride won't stoop to. We don't have to join them down in the mud, but we have to be aware of that stuff and, if needed, dip a toe in it ourselves if we must.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 10:34 PM
8

Truth bombs blowing up all over this landscape. This in particular.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 10:30 PM
1

Use your phone, just turn on the sound recording app and leave it in your pocket. You can record for hours if you have to, modern phones have plenty of storage. My stbxw used hers to record me, and her lawyer introduced the recordings in court. That's how I know it can work. Have a friend or your brother or whoever lend you the initial retainer. Get a new, separate credit card in your name only; join a credit union or bank and open an account under your own name alone and try for a personal loan…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 10:22 PM
3

Start surreptitiously audio recording her statements, if you're in a one-party consent state, and keep archives of any written text messages or e-mails she writes that show how bitter and hateful she is. Keep an intimacy log or diary (that should be easy, based on what you wrote: all zeroes. But enter a notation or sentence each time you attempt to initiate intimacy, nonetheless). Never, ever lose your cool around her or criticize her in any way. Place Alexa security cameras around the house and…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 07:54 PM
6

Two analogies spring immediately to mind. First, the situation where you accepted a job offer somewhere else, but your employer tries to counter-offer when they find out: the advice is never to stay, despite the temptation of more pay staying comfortable in your current job. Because the seal has already been broken and your employer never really trusts you again. Second, you've already hopped on this tiger's back, so now you have to ride it out the whole way until it passes out from exhaustion. …
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 06:04 PM
5

I have to agree with this assessment. She's secretly seething, and hiding that resentment behind a warm smile and the sweet conciliatory words she knows you want to hear, OP. As soon as you soften your position, the mask will fall off and the fangs will come out. She can't effing believe that you suddenly grew a pair and made the first move. She will also never forget or forgive it. If you take her back, you'll quickly find yourself on the business end of a protective order and/or her own filing…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 05:55 PM
4

I was going to reply with something pithy and sarcastic about how you've tried nothing and you're all out of ideas, but with your final sentence, that's clearly not what you need. Let me just tell you what I did. I dressed up better (as in, a suit and tie; showered, shaved, and groomed) and spent lunch hour each day walking around the local shopping center with a smile, striking up casual conversation with any woman who looked good to me and didn't show obvious signs of disinterest. I dated inte…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 06:41 AM
6

You Keep Using That Word. I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means. --Inigo Montoya
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 06:31 AM
8

Keep telling yourself that, bro. We all understand the cope. But let me ask one thing--if you had banged out some other female, would she be so generous as to say you are a good person nonetheless? Anyway to Hell with all the blah blah blah, put that chick on mute and never listen to a word out of her mouth again. Actions tell the whole tale, and you don't even need audio for that. You lucky bastard, learning these hard-ass lessons early on when you're still young and (presumably) at your physic…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 06:24 AM
7

It's great that this place exists. Nothing defines brotherhood more clearly than a well-needed kick to the groin when a dude is being an idiot
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 06:18 AM
0

AP's wife's business is her own. It's a terrible idea to tilt at that windmill--what even makes you think she doesn't already know? That AP hasn't done the same thing a dozen times in the past? Or that she isn't just itching for some bad guy to triangulate against? Let her problems be her problems.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 12:19 AM
3

On your feet, soldier. You ain't dead, and what she did to you, you can and have survived. Get back to living. Go slow if you have to, but jumping right in might be equally advisable. You as a person, as a man, were never defined by her. You existed before you met her, and you will do great without her.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 11:51 PM
10

What kind of a monster doesn't like Doritos! You were warned, you just didn't realize it lol Mine didn't like chocolate. That's right, she couldn't stand chocolate! I was warned, too.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 11:31 PM
1

The facile response is to turn it around on them. I've done that at times. It definitely boosted my ego, and hate to admit it, but proved something to myself. After that, though, you realize what a ridiculous game it all is.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 06:20 PM
2

We live in the age of OF. It's incredible how readily they take to the "pay me" mindset. Well, not so incredible.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 06:18 PM
5

Wise.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 05:34 PM
5

I'm not entirely certain that all women--all of them, your mom, your daughter, Mother Theresa, Queen Elizabeth--are not situational sociopaths. From what I've seen, I do believe women can have true empathy for (their own) children, their other blood relatives (to a much lesser degree), and even the man they are currently in the state of emotional obsession/thrall to (usually bad boys, perhaps you yourself at a certain point, but always time-limited). Bottom line: the men who replied before me ar…
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 05:25 PM
7

she told me "Wed be fine if you were dead." Brother. BROTHER. Read what you wrote. My blood is boiling, and I don't even know you. What would your mother or sister say, if she overheard that?
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 05:08 AM
6

It is because women always, always keep their potential backup options warmed on the back burner. Even at the times of her best, most intense connection with you, she nonetheless had Steve and Ali and that older guy at work or that other guy who sends her DMs just waiting for the word from her. Even if she bears six children for you, she always has plans B, C, and D waiting in the wings. It's just how they are. But it gives them the advantage that they never fully mentally commit to any one man.…
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 05:01 AM
2

Yeah. That's why I mentioned "defined-contribution retirement account." AKA, a 401k.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 12:28 AM
2

Golf clap
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 06:21 AM
1

Oh, sis. Supaman If you wanna stalk me, just ask for my socials lol
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 04:44 AM
1

I was about to point out, "wtf?" Then, I had an epiphany: this is Reddit! It's full of assholes. There. There's your ad hominem. Good luck on the fifth
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 04:24 AM
0

Yeah, obvs, I'm trying to insult you. 🙄 Grow up.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 04:20 AM
3

No. Seriously: no. She ain't sheeeit. My forebears, and my children and their children, can pass judgment on me. The rest? Including HER? Get lost. I've bested more challenges, won more contests, kicked the crap out of more opponents than she ever imagined. She's the consolation prize. Too bad she effed up and lost me.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 04:00 AM
0

You're one of the dogs.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 03:58 AM
5

If a tree falls in a forest
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 03:56 AM
-2

There's always the second solution. Why aren't they more afraid of you, than you are of them? кто-то
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 03:55 AM
1

It's all good. You underestimated the depth of the hyperspecialized knowledge of random strangers on Reddit. We've all done it lol. Some future American/Kenyan parents may find what they're looking for, sixteen years from now. They're in second grade right now. Circle of life. Good luck. Not sarcastically.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 03:42 AM
2

Well, that (free from earthly interference) is how the religious people want it--the faithful and the churches didn't beg government to get involved, quite the opposite. The governments barged into a purely private thing and demanded to dictate the terms, like Tony Soprano robbing a card game.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 12:38 AM
1

Religion didn't impose the "contract" interpretation of marriage, governments did. In Christianity--Catholic, Protestant, Orthodox, you name it--marriage is a sacrament that technically does not even require a priest/pastor/cleric/whatever. It is a sacrament administered by the husband and wife to each other. Doesn't even technically require witnesses. Can even be secret, and still valid. Look it up. The officiant doesn't perform the marriage, the spouses do. He's just the emcee, not the band. K…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 12:36 AM
2

Agreed.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 12:29 AM
1

The selling of retirement as the ultimate goal is a great fraud perpetrated by the guilty upon the overworked. I am not making a negative comment against you, u/LonelyNC123, just an observation and conclusion I've come to. "Work your mind and body to ruin for fifty years, then we'll let finally you have a stucco shack in an old folks development for five to eight years until you die or get dementia or go into full-time nursing care. Unless your employer went tits-up and left an underfunded pensi…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 12:27 AM
3

I am a lawyer, but I'm not your lawyer. I am responding to the hypothetical situation you described, but I am not giving you legal advice. Barring situations such as diplomatic status, the jurisdiction for divorce is where the last marital residence is, or where at least one of the spouses currently resides. If you are living as a civilian resident in a particular country, together with your wife, then your divorce falls under the laws of that country. If it's Germany, then you have to go throug…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 11:32 PM
7

Even sleeping on a Walmart air mattress in one bedroom of a room-by-room townhouse in an outer suburb has been far better than sleeping on the couch in the well-located house I own with my wife, once she turned demon. The tension and her attacks and unpredictability and acts of sabotage made life unbearable. Now, my space is smaller but it is mine. I answer to no one as to how I utilize my time (or do whatever I wish, or nothing). Female, uh, companionship is plentiful and high quality, and more…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 10:20 PM
7

You know she's already been consulting with a divorce attorney if she actually speaks in legal jargon like "dissipation of joint assets." What an uxorious society we've built.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/24 12:33 AM
11

Men are told we cannot say "No," or its relatives "Goodbye," etc., precisely because it is so devastatingly effective. Good for you.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 05:19 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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