Strange divorce

watermelonstrong · 2026-01-23T13:45:31+00:00

No kids? Id guess for her, the marriage isn't really going anywhere . Women are always levelling up to the next stage. I don't post this to be hurtful

ClippedWinng · 2026-01-22T20:03:26+00:00

Did she spend a lot of time on tiktok?

csmedo1994 · 2026-01-20T18:05:30+00:00

Sorry to hear this bro, but this is just par for the course with women. She was never really committed to you. She was and is always committed to her feelings only. And those feelings change like the seasons. She loved for a season, now that season is over. Her behavior is fairly typical by modern women. Men be advised accordingly.

EnvironmentalAd3558 · 2026-01-20T16:09:37+00:00

You are not responsible for her happiness.

Take control over your life and file for divorce after you hire a good local divorce lawyer.

Time for you to focus on yourself. Look into Tony Robbins and get and read No More Mr Nice Guy.

bk2747 · 2026-01-20T15:06:41+00:00

Basically, the marriage ruined the relationship.

You should’ve filed for divorce the moment she mentioned couples therapy before you guys even hit the 5 year mark. Also, you should’ve ran the moment you heard “heal” and “childhood trauma.” Hell, you shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place after being together for so long, signing a contract with the state only made the breakup more complicated.

This is a textbook bait & switch. She didn’t want to be your wife, she just wanted a wedding. The divorce was planned before the wedding btw. You need to file as the plaintiff and get out while you’re still young so you can rebuild emotionally and find a woman who isn’t wasting your time. That whole “you’re not the man” bullshit, there’s another guy she’s seeing. She wants to explore her new option before her biological clock runs out. You got played, plain n simple.

Men are in love, women are in business.

Don’t sit there and try to beg her to stay and more therapy crap. Go find your spine, lawyer up, kick her sorry ass to the curb.

Particular_Car7127 · 2026-01-20T13:51:13+00:00

If she accidently gets pregnant, do a DNA test.

serkovavantgarden · 2026-01-20T12:09:46+00:00

When she says ‘you’re not the man to give her it anymore’..

What she really means is ‘I’m bouncing on some new dick! You’re not required anymore’

Keep this in mind and detach yourself now mate.

She’s gone. She is an adversary.

thegreatcerebral · 2026-01-20T11:54:48+00:00

So I came to a realization when I was told to go to therapy to work on “my issues” (just go with it). The first meeting I realized that the goal of a therapist that you are seeing by yourself is to work on YOU. It doesn’t care about your marriage.

How I realized this was we discussed an argument that happens in my house which is how I wanted to place my keys and wallet somewhere and my wife hates that I do that. She told me that it’s a “her issue” and that if she doesn’t like it then she needs to figure out why etc. and yea, that is the truth but the thing is that in a marriage instead we would work together to find a spot we can both agree on.

So yes, if you or your spouse is seeing a therapist alone, chances are they will change. It’s a craps roll as to chick way that change will go. But you should know that the odds are for sure NOT in your favor. Mostly because the reason the other person is going is typically in part because of issues with you.

I would also double down and say that a man is more likely to see this, understand this, and adjust or stop going alone whereas a woman will not because remember men sacrifice their lives for their family and women sacrifice their family for their lives. So watch for changes. Typically they change the way they speak and their choice of words as they are introduced to new things in therapy/counseling. Take note.

Ok_Tea30 · 2026-01-20T08:47:00+00:00

Yeah, this happens more than people admit, and it’s confusing as hell because there’s no villain to point at. When one person grows in a direction that redefines their needs, the other can end up feeling like the ground moved under them. It hurts even more when love is still there but compatibility quietly isn’t. You’re not crazy for feeling blindsided or pushed into changing just to keep up. Sometimes divorce isn’t about failure, it’s about two paths slowly no longer lining up, even when neither of you wanted that outcome.

upvotersfortruth · 2026-01-20T07:05:37+00:00

She's cheating on you 99% and wants to capture what's left of her youth. She thinks she can do better in the market or has already found someone. Every divorce is unique but they all rhyme.

Give her the freedom she desires, nothing good can come of trying to keep her. Save your emotions and your begging for your therapist. Be clinical, get it done. Get the absolute best financial / custody (if you have kids) that you can, grieve and put this in the rear view mirror.

You probably can't hear this now, but you're in your prime at 31 and your life will only get better.

Tonyalarm · 2026-01-20T01:21:33+00:00

You’re grieving a relationship that ended through growth, not betrayal. Therapy can change needs and identities. It hurts deeply, but it doesn’t mean you failed or lacked love.

MensDivorceCircle · 2026-01-19T22:10:50+00:00

What if it just isn’t “it” any more? Let go and move on and be happy. Everything doesn’t always have to have a winner or loser, life isn’t a video game. You enjoyed your time together, took something positive and can now write your next chapter.

Subtle-Catastrophe · 2026-01-19T22:04:44+00:00

There's somebody else.

I used to be one of the men who scoffed at this almost automatic assumption, but I can't ignore that so, so many "out of nowhere, everything was pretty good and then all the sudden she wants out" type divorce cases were because the wife had met a man. Either with sexual contact or without (and just being realistic, usually with).

UrAristotle · 2026-01-19T22:00:23+00:00

She’s using her therapy to get what she wants. That’s why it’s working for her and yours isn’t working for you. She’s building a narrative that gets her the outcome she hopes for and still lets her look in the mirror and think what she did was right.

None of that is a judgement. It sounds like you guys don’t have any kids or a lot of entanglements. Get out now and move on with your life.

Fluid_Actuator_7131 · 2026-01-19T21:57:08+00:00

It’s a woman’s flowery way of saying she’s not interested. It sucks but you’re young, you’ll eventually find another relationship far more fulfilling than this one trust me. When shit gets rough in the short term channel those feelings into self improvement

obiwanfatnobi · 2026-01-19T21:47:34+00:00

When someone tells you they don't want you listen to them. I could go on and on with platitudes and other BS but at the end of the day she has told you multiple times you can't give her what she needs. Who the hell knows what that is. She probably does not even know. I would never trust anyone like this ever again. Imagine you had kids with this woman?

kumest · 2026-01-19T21:46:43+00:00

Im somewhat in a same situation, for the last 6 months or so she driftet away more and more, made friends in the gym, changed a lot haf habits, no action for months, and time when there was action it was horrible for me, it was a trap, she basically lured my in and started to list a lot of problems and complained ffs.

She still makes good food, nice disches and stuff, but feels kind of fake, more like so she can tell her mother she was nice and did all right while I did nothing and complained all day, well, I think most women brain works like this, and mother certainly is all in for us to split so daughter returns home.

I think it boils down to the new friends in the gym, pressure from the mother "come back come back" and short videos on instagram showing a wonderfull life that everyone else has. So I'm already mentally preparing for a while, it's impressive how things can change in 6 months.

MenuDiscombobulated5 · 2026-01-19T21:45:20+00:00

Sorry you're going through this. The irony is that if you were doing something wrong then there might be something you could do to prevent divorce (by correcting what you're doing wrong). But if she isn't willing to live up to the vows she made even when she's not "feeling" it, I doubt there's much you can do. Better not to drag it out. I did. For 10 years... All the while believing there was something I could do to fix it. Huge waste of a big chunk of my life.

Where neither of you are doing anything wrong, to "fix" things, you would be trying to change her. To change her feelings. Or at best just waiting for her feelings to change. We all know changing someone doesn't work, and odds of her feelings for you coming back when you're not doing anything wrong are pretty slim. Sorry, brother.

Ok-Anything-3605 · 2026-01-19T21:45:07+00:00

Sorry to hear. This is what therapy does…my guess is your wife’s therapist is a female and they convinced her to think of nothing but herself. They force the idea that if you are not happy, go be happy and be selfish, think only of yourself. If your wife’s troubled childhood involved abuse, that abuse will somehow reflect on you. This is from my own recent experience. You’re young, now’s the time you do the same, go be happy. I wish you peace in your journey. I’m still waiting to find mine.

LimJayee · 2026-01-19T21:34:03+00:00

sounds like she has something else in the background dunno, you sure its not an affair?

HistoricalRich280 · 2026-01-19T21:22:03+00:00

If you don’t have kids, happily part ways now

Reflog1791 · 2026-01-19T21:19:26+00:00

You can’t negotiate desire. You can get buff and have other much finer women begging for a shot at the champ. That’s how you win her back. When it works you may not want her back.

Title	Strange divorce
Author	Southern-Cell6877
Upvotes	16
Comments	37
Date	January 19, 2026 9:14 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1qhgz5z/strange_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/strange-divorce.1571556 https://theredarchive.com/post/1571556

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