~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Paid my lawyer $1,800 to compare two custody proposals. Built the tool I wish I'd had.You better not shit the bed by getting too cute with it. If the powers that be catch you taking short cuts without giving them (the judges and bar association racket) their pound of flesh they can fuck you 1000 ways. My game theory move was play their fucking game pay them their $5k and get the fuck out of family court. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/26 06:35 AM |
| 3 | Paid my lawyer $1,800 to compare two custody proposals. Built the tool I wish I'd had.I paid my attorney $5k or $6k to be a sounding board on my math and ideas and it worked. All the old divorce advice used to say “know your best case, likely case, and worst case”. All I did was try to steer it toward better than likely case at lowest legal cost. It worked perfectly and I came out smelling like roses. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/26 06:31 AM |
| 2 | 20+ years of marriage, last year was tough, now found out about infidelityOperate with strength and conviction, not fear. I wouldn’t even talk to this witch about anything. I’d talk to 10 lawyers on free and paid consults and develop a strategy. Don’t even give an inch on any divorce issue until you’re at the mediation table. You’re in a battle now and you will lose big with the attitude in this post. My posture would be (without saying it or writing it), I will be treated fairly or you can care for the kids 100% of the time and not get a dime outta me. That’s the onl… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/26 05:07 AM |
| 2 | 20+ years of marriage, last year was tough, now found out about infidelityAgreed | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/26 05:02 AM |
| 11 | How to survive silver bullet divorceThe people that believe her are not your friends. Look to new opportunities and hobbies. Look forward not back. I made a whole new life by design after divorce and it has been much better than my former life. Lots of things were lost but much better things were gained. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/07/26 09:01 PM |
| 2 | The importance of this communityJust my 2c. I prayed for wisdom and strength. Then I read in the Bible that God loves it when you pray for wisdom and strength. It worked for me too. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/07/26 08:58 PM |
| 12 | How to survive silver bullet divorce2 year marriage no kids. You’re golden. Your assignment is to put this marriage behind you at lowest cost. Find a new faith community. Make new dreams and goals. Let this other stuff roll off your back. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/07/26 08:56 PM |
| 4 | AdviceDivorce will be a cakewalk. Real lesson is don’t marry hoes. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/07/26 07:19 PM |
| 1 | Any regret for missing baby milestones?Yes | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/07/26 03:41 PM |
| 1 | Any regret for missing baby milestones?Wrong sub | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/07/26 06:46 AM |
| 1 | Any regret for missing baby milestones?You’ll have more milestones than “regular” dads because you’re 100% on point on your days. Coaching the sports teams has been awesome. I’ve found being divorced with a young kid was way better than having some nagging killbuzz ruining every day. So much fun to just go do whatever you want for as long as you want then eat whatever you want without having to placate a bitchy wife. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/07/26 04:31 AM |
| 14 | My son said his Mom said this the other day…and it bothers me but really shouldn’t by nowI’m reading a happy story here brother. New guy is a complete clown show for moving in with a 40 something single mom. What a scrub. Don’t even think about him. lol he’s gonna be 40 and married to some senior citizen? Yeah right he just needs a place to live for a few years. Very happy you upgraded from your ex. Live a good happy life brother. Enjoy it, you’ve earned it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/07/26 07:17 PM |
| 8 | How do you get over the feeling that you will never be loved again?10 pushups right now would be a good start. If you can’t do 10 do 5. Work your way up to 25 in one go. Once you hit 50 in one go you will like what you see. Set small goals in all areas and then set loftier goals. The universe will reward your positive momentum in epic ways. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/07/26 05:13 AM |
| 1 | Winning doesn't mean anything. I don't feel anything.Start with end goal in mind and work backwards. I got 10 consults. Picked up tips and tricks here and there and completely ignored the shysters. Once I knew what the one page divorce decree was gonna say I got it at lowest possible cost. Made sure there would be no back support bill and no outstanding legal bills when I started my new life. Didn’t say shit to my ex wife unless it helped me wrap up divorce to my satisfaction. Wasn’t afraid to tell her she was a great mom or whatever bold faced li… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/07/26 08:55 PM |
| 1 | Winning doesn't mean anything. I don't feel anything.It was just an option and I typed out way more than that. Whatever bro just keep doing whatever the hell you’re doing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/07/26 06:31 PM |
| 4 | Winning doesn't mean anything. I don't feel anything.One thing that helped me was studying game theory. Just the subject itself. You’ll relate it to your divorce problems automatically. It’s an important shift in perspective. The outcome of kangaroo divorce court isn’t what is right or fair or best for the children. The outcome is driven by your ability to navigate the game. I used every trick in the book to avoid the shit you’re going through. But now that you’re this deep into the shitshow you still have to look at the overall situation and opti… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/07/26 06:25 PM |
| 2 | Divorced at 26Hit the gym to get your mojo back. You dodged a bullet. Your ex is common. Don’t put the next one on a pedestal and provide everything. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/07/26 05:31 PM |
| 1 | I think I’m doneYou got it | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/07/26 12:24 AM |
| 3 | She just changed overnightI would shut down the debit card and withdraw cash. $300 here and there and stash it. Mine did this shit when my kid was 18 months old. She was having an affair. Got the last laugh on that dumb bitch tho. I’m on the golf course, have a way finer gf, and she’s in the pos starter house. She called me to tell me her live in boyfriend cheated on her. I said sorry to hear that, hung up, and laughed. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/26 07:26 PM |
| 8 | I think I’m doneI can DM you the name of my world class former counselor if you like. Took me 4 tries to find this guy. He does remote. I’ve been in your shoes and I love life now. At one point I was practicing gratitude for a cold glass of water and a soft pillow. It was not easy or fast but eventually I got more than just relief. I built a new life by design and it fucking worked. I still smile when I drink a cold glass of water. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/26 07:19 PM |
| 7 | Almost finalized divorce and find out oldest is not mine. How to handle this mess?My 2c is this is foremost a legal question. In my state if the child is more than 2 years old it does not matter what any paternity test says. The husband is the legal father by marriage. They would still make you pay child support AND use it to keep the kid away from you. From the cheap seats, I would not disclose this to anyone. You are the father by virtue of raising the child. However, if you can use this to reduce child support in a very meaningful way (way more than $100 per month) I would… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/26 03:56 AM |
| 3 | I tried to overcome infidelity and couldn’t and now I don’t feel wellJust my 2c. Make a decision the relationship is done forever. Look forward not back. Your partner is supposed to support you and enrich your life. She has and will continue to fail in that endeavor. You’re taking it personally when she’s common. She’s not rare or valuable, she’s common. Once you learn the game the dating will be so easy compared to this shit. The lesson I learned is if they don’t love and respect me, I’ll find an upgraded replacement very easily. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/07/26 10:16 PM |
| 3 | UPDATE: Just had the talkYes let her think she’s got it all in the bag for now. Then her lawyers won’t be desperately filing motions. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/07/26 04:00 AM |
| 5 | Wife is letting friends know she is considering divorceFile for divorce | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/07/26 04:49 PM |
| 2 | I've tried warning my brother but he doesn't listen to me. Not sure if this belongs here?Bless you for doing the right thing. Unfortunately everyone here had to learn the hard way. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/07/26 10:46 PM |
| 1 | Estimating value of furniture and stuff inside the houseAsk lawyer and you’ll find everything gets low balled for ex wife and everything gets MSRP for you. Still remember asking my lawyer if I could buy new furniture for my bachelor pad. She said the furniture in the house is valued at yard sale prices. With that knowledge I made horse trades. Took the newish furniture in the house, bought my ex new couches, bought myself a nice bed and an awesome loft bed for my kid. So for a couple thousand bucks I had a sweet bachelor bad. The key for me was use e… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/07/26 06:25 PM |
| 3 | Divorce Cost Me My JobLook at it as a chance to reinvent yourself and design the life you really want. Not because it sounds nice but because it’s a necessity. Look to good positive things. Gain momentum. This too shall pass. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/07/26 05:23 PM |
| 3 | When you got betrayed, did you feel like the only one in the world it has ever happened to?In reality it’s happened to better men than you or me. The cheating wife is selfish and insecure. Be gone thot. Self improvement mission is your way out. Gym, haircut, wardrobe, new hobbies. Many much finer and better women will want a shot at the champ and then your standard ex wife becomes old news. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/06/26 07:42 PM |
| 12 | Struggling on a dead marriage. Need advice how to proceedI’ll disagree with the consensus here and bring up dread game. You get buff, hit the gym, update your wardrobe and hairstyle, and make yourself scarce around the house. Join a basketball or golf league 2-3x a week. Do things that bring you joy. When she sees other women looking you up and down a switch will flip. In order to be the prize you have to be the prize. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/06/26 07:39 PM |
| 1 | California Spousal SupportRead the statutes and build your case around them. Not what you wish it would be or what is fair. Build your case off the statutes. When you negotiate start at 0 based on her gainful employment. You’ll probably have to pay her to get rid of her just optimize it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/06/26 02:13 PM |
| 3 | Dealing with a nasty divorceI would just move back in let her freak out, catch her lying with proof. Say surprise! I’m back. She wants you out of the house fine here are my conditions. I’d start planning to sell that house. If she wont play ball I move across the world. Kid can come visit when they’re older. You’re in a very serious war with an opponent who will do anything to get your $. Think of what it would take to win. Take away her leverage and don’t be afraid. You should start acting like her. Take your kid to your … | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/06/26 02:00 PM |
| 10 | Dealing with a nasty divorceQuit acting like a scared little bitch and get in the game dude. Sorry to be blunt. If she is gonna punk you around like this you might as well get in the fray. You have a lot more leverage and game theory moves here than you imagine. I would jump on the educational neglect and play for keeps as the main strategy. You need a pitbull. If she’s going for back support get your fuckin receipts in order. I would simply not pay the next 1000 bucks and when she asks refer her to her back support motion… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/06/26 01:52 PM |
| 3 | I finally had the conversation with my wife after a year of separation, and now I feel lost.Go for walks, eat healthy, drink lots of water, go to bed early with a good book. There is a lot more to life. Take care of yourself. Focus on good positive things that bring you joy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/06/26 01:46 PM |
| 0 | If somebody's wife hit on you, would you hook up with them?Those bottom feeders go after married women because they are easy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/06/26 03:22 AM |
| 2 | If somebody's wife hit on you, would you hook up with them?Low hanging rotten fruit. They are insecure because they are ugly. Standard 4’s and 5’s in daylight. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/06/26 02:45 AM |
| 1 | If somebody's wife hit on you, would you hook up with them?Generally, the cheating wife lies to the guy. These cheating wives are so easy to pull so if you don’t want to be a part of adultery you need to be very discerning and not do casual one night stands. Most horny guys take some thirsty ho’s explanations at face value and have no idea they have been ensnared by a thot. It’s all very basic and primitive. It’s not as romantic or mysterious or anything as we first think. They just want some strange and don’t think they’ll get caught. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/06/26 02:43 AM |
| 2 | Getting divorced. Could use success stories.Join the men’s club at your golf course. Find some buddies who can go on golf trips. That is what I did and now I LOVE being divorced. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/06/26 07:41 PM |
| 2 | How do you survive this? No matter how hard I try, definitive exit seems like a solution more and moreIn desperation I went up to the sporting goods store and bought the starter golf set. I got three lessons. I had no interest in it whatsoever (used to caddie for my dad as a boy) because I thought it was boring. I have found golf has all the elements of divorce recovery. Exercise, nature, camaraderie. It’s a wonderful way to make tons of new friends. Your local course has a “mens club” with many guys in the same boat. Nobody will care you’re divorced. I have had so many healing great big belly l… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/06/26 06:36 PM |
| 5 | Dealing with father's dayWhen I was married Father’s Day was spent running around driving to her parents, maybe my parents if I was lucky. Now that I’m divorced I get to play golf on Father’s Day. It’s a huge W. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/06/26 04:17 PM |
| 15 | Do I tattle on my ex wife and her paramour? (After divorce is final)Revenge is a dish best served cold. I would not do this while you are waiting for your equity check. That is the point at which the divorce is final imo. One thing about letting that dish get cold. Your feelings about the matter may change. Divorcing my cheating ex turned from the worst thing ever to the best thing ever. It took time for my feelings to change. You may not see it and have negative self talk like “look what this has done to my kid.” But in reality you are getting a golden opportun… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/06/26 04:15 PM |
| 4 | Child support and Alimony guess??Here’s how I played mine out (not legal advice): Half net paycheck into your own account. Half into joint account. Pay all bills out of the joint account. Prepay bills out of the joint account. Freeze retirement contributions. Put that money in a new account and spend it on things for your new life (clothes, gym membership, furniture). What this does: reduces risk of back support bill. Minimizes any back support bill. If she fucks around with you at all, you will request the house to be sold. Th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/26 05:54 PM |
| 0 | Finances and child supportIt’s a big fuckin scam. No fault divorce + alimony + child support + retirement + house. Guys, this shit was a setup all along. You get minor protection if you marry someone who makes more than you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/26 05:35 PM |
| 3 | Finances and child supportEach and every one of us would LOVE to have and extra $500-$1000 tax free cash. You could absolutely invest that cash for a big come up. If that money was left with the father the kids college would get paid for. But no, mommy needs a new car and to blow the rest on beauty supplies and junk. The idea that CS is used to “meet the needs” of the child is bullshit. You think this poster is the only one going through this? Must be nice to receive money for nothing. GTFO here. As for OP, I think your … | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/26 05:30 PM |
| 9 | Run away wife syndrome?What a dream divorce scenario | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/06/26 05:57 PM |
| 10 | Hit me like a punch to the gutJust be happy you got it back so you can sell it and take some hottie out for a great steak dinner. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/06/26 05:55 PM |
| 2 | Mediation vs lawyer — what actually worked better for you?Consulted like 10 lawyers some free some paid. Bounced all my ideas around until I had a very good idea how this thing was gonna play out. Then got into mediation without lawyers. It was the same deal it was always going to be. I got out of there for under $5k legal bills. Cheating ex probably got 55% of my net worth and 16 years of child support. I got away from her and she can’t fuck with me. My relationship with my kid is great. I was married for 7 years and I’m 5 or 6 years out. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/06/26 05:50 PM |
| 4 | Taking The Kids on Her TimeChild support is a scam. There’s no negotiating it or anything like that. Tell your scammer no next time. You’re paying good money for her to do all that shit. Lesson learned. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/06/26 05:04 PM |
| 2 | “Poison in the atmosphere”Well the never leave the house crowd obviously didn’t see my bachelor pad. It was awesome. Cleaner, good vibes, fine women. I just paid half the mortgage in my old house (got the increased equity) and paid my rent. Surprise! I had more money once she was on a fixed payroll. Staying in the house is not the great idea some here seem to think. You’re just waiting to get hit with a false DV charge while she spends all your money, bitches and moans, and leaves you to watch the kids while she cavorts … | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/06/26 06:20 PM |
| 15 | Ex Wanting IntimacyIt’s just for an ego boost that she can still have you. No. Much finer women want a shot at the champ if you get your life in order. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/06/26 06:15 PM |
| 1 | How many of you bought your wife out of the house?Mediation is confidential. If she tries that you gamely say no I’d actually rather sell and split. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 07:01 PM |
| 1 | How many of you bought your wife out of the house?Tons of people don’t get their home appraised multiple times in divorce. It costs time, hassle, and money, three things ex wives do not want to do. Any creative ideas from you? Didn’t think so. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 07:00 PM |
| 1 | How many of you bought your wife out of the house?I would do what ex wives do and LOWBALL the value of the house. You get a couple of appraisals, throw out the high ones, and settle the midpoint of the low ones all while ACTING like you are giving her the deal of a lifetime and not happy about it. It’s about HOW you present it. Timing of the presentation is critical. I would break out the appraisals at mediation. Make it so she doesn’t run out and get her own appraisal. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 05:56 PM |
| 4 | One more baby suckersThe new guy is a chode. Only a desperate bum would get involved with a single mom of 3 young kids. It’s all smoke and mirrors. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/06/26 11:18 AM |
| 1 | For those who had an affairSorry you are dealing with this. You should get a legal consult. If you split you want to be the first to file for CS in my opinion. If he gets hit with a back support bill from the other woman, your finances could be wrecked. Let’s say your husband makes $100k. $500 x 12 x 3 = $18,000 as just some napkin math and that does not include interest. This could get messy quick and your first responsibility is to your children now that your spouse has betrayed you and caused such a predicament. Operat… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/06/26 03:41 PM |
| 10 | Do people ask you when you tell them you are getting a divorce…Best part of divorce is making new friends who dgaf about your ex. Real friends would say, “sorry to hear that, want to go fishing/golfing/hiking/billiards/etc?” Your old life may have been neighborhood leave it to beaver desperate housewives. World is a much bigger place and you’ll enjoy getting out of the suburbia Karen hell scape. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/06/26 03:49 AM |
| 3 | For those who had an affairSounds like you had an affair and your affair partner just told you she’s pregnant. I would fess up to the affair with the full knowledge that the AP might be lying to you about being pregnant. You kill two birds with one stone… figure out your marriage or at least give your spouse the agency to divorce. More importantly, your AP can’t blackmail you. So basically just come to terms that you have to confess and from there the chips will fall where they may… but at least the AP can’t extort you an… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/06/26 01:47 AM |
| 16 | Just a little annoyance...Women don’t pay child support. You think they are gonna take her license and put her in jail for non payment? I wouldn’t count on getting any money from her and just consider it gravy if the good people at the child support enforcement office can get some funds back for you. I’m guessing are the lowest priority at that office. Their job is to get money for ex wives. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/26 06:28 PM |
| 1 | I Read Your Divorce Stories for a Year. Now I'm Living Mine.Yes but otoh you can use it to finally get her to contribute. Example your ex works but spends way more than she earns. I paid half the mortgage and got the increased equity and paid for my apartment and had more money. So basically I’m just saying you can use it to put a spendthrift on a budget and come out ahead. If you stay in the house you have to live with some annoying bitch who can have you thrown in jail. So I just don’t think it’s cut and dry. It usually is good advice I suppose but I d… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/26 09:26 AM |
| 1 | How do I heal from thisHi there. I remember the anxiety and panic attacks. I can tell you they will go away. I had to look up mindfulness and breathing exercises. It seems like they aren’t working but you get better at it. Then my counselor told me do them as a preventative measure. I haven’t had to do that in years so it’s nothing permanent, just an acute adjustment disorder in my case. Other creative ideas go get a back massage. Insurance will probably cover it. Picking up golf made me love life again. Bike rides an… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/26 05:08 AM |
| 1 | Early separation with a baby - wife wants full custody and near zero visitation. What should I be doing?When you get a lawyer and file for divorce you block half the standard divorce family court nightmare bullshit. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/26 08:56 PM |
| 1 | Wife having affair while we have 2 young kids. Trying to stay calm and protect 50/50 custody/assets. Advice from people who've been through this?Do you ever see depressed guys going thru a divorce and what do you tell them? | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/26 08:38 PM |
| 2 | Early separation with a baby - wife wants full custody and near zero visitation. What should I be doing?Correct | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/26 07:43 PM |
| 2 | Early separation with a baby - wife wants full custody and near zero visitation. What should I be doing?Consult with 10 attorneys in your county. Some will be free. Some will cost $100. The good ones might cost $500. Set aside $2500 to get expert legal advice and know your case inside and out. If you are called to the carpet in “family court”, the only protection you have is knowing how the LAW applies to your situation. You need to kiss the butts of the powers that be. Some daycare worker, guardian ad litem, mediator, or judge will determine your relationship with your kid for the next 18-22 year… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/26 07:41 PM |
| 2 | Early separation with a baby - wife wants full custody and near zero visitation. What should I be doing?Good analysis and recommendation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/26 07:30 PM |
| 2 | Wife divorced me, we have two children, I wanted to have a Godly family but she didn’t want that with me, now she has a boyfriend whom she is on fire for God with and I feel like this is all a slap in the face. Anyone else go through something like this?Post is crying out to the ether about God’s role in divorce. Yes my experience was the marriage was simply for her benefit. Was I the perfect God fearing man? Absolutely not. In the final analysis my house was built on sand and I continue to try to learn and do better. When I prayed to God for wisdom and strength in absolute desperation, I eventually found peace. I would advise OP to do the same. And also to take care of himself with diet, exercise, and quality sleep. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/26 06:49 PM |
| 2 | Wife divorced me, we have two children, I wanted to have a Godly family but she didn’t want that with me, now she has a boyfriend whom she is on fire for God with and I feel like this is all a slap in the face. Anyone else go through something like this?My experience has been that fatherhood has been simply wonderful without killbuzz nag spendthrift cheating ex wife. My golf game is on point too 🤣 Highly recommend golf as the cure for divorce. Specifically your local course has a men’s club where you can make 100 new friends and love life again while getting exercise in nature. For me it was the cure. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/26 05:35 PM |
| 3 | Wife divorced me, we have two children, I wanted to have a Godly family but she didn’t want that with me, now she has a boyfriend whom she is on fire for God with and I feel like this is all a slap in the face. Anyone else go through something like this?Your efforts were not in vain brother I’m certainly not hating just observing. A good stepdad is awesome and makes the world a better place. I’m sorry your relationship didn’t work out. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/26 05:30 PM |
| 1 | Wife divorced me, we have two children, I wanted to have a Godly family but she didn’t want that with me, now she has a boyfriend whom she is on fire for God with and I feel like this is all a slap in the face. Anyone else go through something like this?Hit the gym get buff and forget them. Focus your thoughts and energy on new opportunities. And obviously continue to be father of the year. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/26 05:23 PM |
| 3 | Wife divorced me, we have two children, I wanted to have a Godly family but she didn’t want that with me, now she has a boyfriend whom she is on fire for God with and I feel like this is all a slap in the face. Anyone else go through something like this?It was just about someone paying the bills. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/26 05:07 PM |
| 2 | Wife divorced me, we have two children, I wanted to have a Godly family but she didn’t want that with me, now she has a boyfriend whom she is on fire for God with and I feel like this is all a slap in the face. Anyone else go through something like this?I guess my position is good riddance to ex wives. I stopped thinking about their hamster brains years ago. If the father of your kids is good person only a very stupid person would test the grass on the other side of the fence. We see a lot of guys here blending families and whatnot, the posts about a stepdad getting dropped convinced me to never ever put myself in that situation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/26 05:07 PM |
| 1 | Am I in the right for not wanting my ex wife’s new boyfriend staying at our homeI wish you well brother. Hang in there. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/26 04:53 PM |
| 4 | Wife divorced me, we have two children, I wanted to have a Godly family but she didn’t want that with me, now she has a boyfriend whom she is on fire for God with and I feel like this is all a slap in the face. Anyone else go through something like this?Be happy she is gone. She sounds horrible. Anything is better than that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/26 04:52 PM |
| 0 | Wife divorced me, we have two children, I wanted to have a Godly family but she didn’t want that with me, now she has a boyfriend whom she is on fire for God with and I feel like this is all a slap in the face. Anyone else go through something like this?Why would a better looking or richer guy shack up with a single mom with young kids? I reject your premise. New guy is a scrub guaranteed. I agree with your conclusion tho, the train wreck is inevitable. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/26 04:51 PM |
| 2 | Am I in the right for not wanting my ex wife’s new boyfriend staying at our homeCan you move to the new state and become a cop or something so you can live with your kids? | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/06/26 08:33 AM |
| 7 | Anybody else have trouble dating after divorce?Get out of your comfort zone and try new things that make you an interesting person. Be the man you want to be. Then you will have to learn to not marry the first one who will have you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/06/26 08:27 AM |
| 9 | Am I in the right for not wanting my ex wife’s new boyfriend staying at our homeWhy are you letting her take the kids to live out of state? Out of all the divorce mistakes this has to be number one on the list. What is your reasoning? | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/06/26 08:24 AM |
| 2 | A discussion about the culpability and accountability of men for the family court systemI think you are mostly correct but I have a big complaint with your win at all costs strategy: it took you a decade and unknown legal costs to get this deal. In a game theory view of the entire problem, I’m not convinced this is the win you think it is. Others of us took a haircut and came out in the exact same position with less drama and less divorce costs. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/06/26 07:40 PM |
| 1 | Crazy number?And when it says 1000 your starting number is 500 so you end up at 750. The more detailed you fill out the calculator the more leverage you have. In my state the actual court forms are available to fill out to spit out a number. Easily 200 of different credits and discounts than the generic summary calculator. For example, if you’re paying healthcare and dental premiums the calculator spits out a lower more precise number. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/06/26 05:33 PM |
| 4 | The part of single fatherhood I didn’t see comingThe part of single fatherhood I didn’t see coming was a steady stream of AI posts. “Write me a Reddit post about the struggles of a single dad.” | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/06/26 01:27 AM |
| 2 | I have a lack of empathy for any man willing to marry at this point.He’s gonna knock one of ‘em up and be in the same position as the rest of us 😂 | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/05/26 09:39 PM |
| 10 | Avoiding ex on special occasionsHost your own grad party and make it way better than the lame one. Visit him at college another time and make it an awesome trip. Yes I tend to want to stay far away from liars and thieves as well. Just be sure you make up for it with something better. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/26 07:09 AM |
| 2 | I’m getting emotional and angry, is this normal?Get some back massages. Insurance will probably cover them especially if your back hurts and you go see a chiropractor and get a note. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/05/26 09:58 PM |
| 8 | Wife having affair while we have 2 young kids. Trying to stay calm and protect 50/50 custody/assets. Advice from people who've been through this?Consulting many different lawyers (10) was my best move. Cost me some money. I knew my case inside and out. Some of them had good creative ideas to save me money. Accountant had fabulous divorce $ tips. I also got back massages, bought a spare bed, ignored the dumb bitch as best I could, picked up golf (made 200 new friends in a month), hit the gym and updated my wardrobe. I said whatever the fuck I needed to say to get her into mediation where I was prepared. 2 or 3 hours later I had a deal. It… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/05/26 07:32 PM |
| 1 | No kids? What do you do to keep busy?Pick up golf | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/05/26 07:15 PM |
| 2 | Child Support / Split Costs AdjustmentYour deal isn’t that bad. Congrats on advancing your income after divorce… very rare and an awesome display of resilience. How could your ex possibly go from making peanuts to out-earning you? You should be able to get a significant modification on both the support and the extracurriculars if this is actually the case. If she is doing some LLC it may be hard to nail down her income. What you should do is talk to 3 referred lawyers at $300 a pop for an hour and get their advice. My suspicion: no … | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/26 08:24 PM |
| 1 | Mediation Looming Soon. Not Sure What To Expect?You’re not gonna mediate a deal where your ex loses $100k in support and custody of your kid. Research game theory. Think about your desired outcome, likely outcome, worst case outcome. Run a cost benefit analysis. Don’t show your cards in mediation if an agreement is impossible. Don’t get me wrong I heavily advocate for a mediated agreement but you are trying to pull off a massive switcheroo which she will never agree to. Think very deeply about what is best for you and your child (sounds like … | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/26 07:48 PM |
| 3 | Lawyer is asking me to pay half the mortgageDo you have $2k to take this question to 5 different lawyers in your locale in an initial consult? Do you have another $3k to retain the best one for “limited representation”? You are way out of your league here buddy and they are gonna eat your lunch while you pay half the mortgage for the next 3 years just to get an itty bitty payout that they offset with alimony. You’re playing a dangerous game. This deal is a trap. A lawyer would probably tell you to kick her a $1500 check per month with the… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/26 07:12 PM |
| 2 | Not sure if i need help?You’re doing all the right things I think the sleep problem is the main issue to resolve. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/26 06:51 PM |
| 2 | Not sure if i need help?Take care of your physical health as it is your most important long term asset. Operate with strength and conviction, not fear. Rather than grinding harder when you’re already working 12 hr days here and there, find a solution to your sleep problem. What worked for me was going to bed at 830 and reading a good book with a cup of sleepytime tea til I passed out at 945. Wake up at 530 and go for a jog (or bike ride). These are the basics you can do to get out of the brain fog and be happy and prod… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/26 06:47 PM |
| 8 | Four years out of winning my divorce and I cannot find peace.Look into practicing gratitude. Also have you tried golf? Solved all of my divorce problems. Your steak is too juicy and your lobster is too buttery for crying out loud I can’t believe you would even consider risking it on placating another woman’s wants. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/26 06:42 PM |
| 3 | It’s 3 am and I’m 2 days away from starting a break from my abusive wife. I’m scared to say the least.Start talking to lawyers and stay away from her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/26 08:54 AM |
| 1 | Has anyone come across this situation and if so what did you do?What you need now is leverage not this milquetoast woulda shoulda coulda nonsense. You need a pit bill lawyer who will sue her for damages, attorneys fees, and take the house back within 2 days of her missing the second consecutive payment. Sounds like a dream? It is. Legal fees will be incredibly expensive. If you got $50k sitting around she really can’t fuck with you. If you’re paycheck to paycheck you need to find a more diplomatic solution. I wouldn’t worry about this until she misses multip… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/26 12:52 AM |
| 3 | Reasons to get divordedHit the gym, get buff, update wardrobe and hairstyle. Get a hobby and get out of the house. Don’t cheat. If she doesn’t jump your bones and rock your world in 3 months, file for divorce. Idk what these comments are about you didn’t sign up to be celibate. It’ll cost you a fortune probably 60% of your shit and 30% for a while going forward. At least you wouldn’t have to have this talk with her anymore and you could move on with a clear conscience. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/26 12:31 AM |
| 1 | Everytime I get my daughter (3) she tells me about ex wife’s new bfBe the man you want to be | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/05/26 07:20 AM |
| 1 | How do you rebuild your identity after divorce, especially if the role of "husband" was a big part of who you wereI am almost a decade out of this nightmare and still read here almost daily. I remember those horrible early days and like 18 months of depression. If you guys saw the shit eating grin I have every Saturday waking up to my hot girlfriend in my beautiful golf course house and speeding off in my souped up golf cart to go see 50 buddies and maybe win $50 or $100, you would that the common advice around here to move on let her go and make new dreams and goals actually works. In my case, that thot’s … | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/05/26 10:05 PM |
| 1 | Who would read this?Love it. I prayed to God and my prayers were answered to the letter. My life got better than I possibly could have imagined. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/05/26 06:54 PM |
| 3 | Experience with a PIDid my own detective work and found out through the digital trail. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/05/26 06:52 PM |
| 5 | To the daughter I am losing slowlyHi, have you considered coaching her sports teams? That was the solution for me. Please do not take it personally. Your kid is in a very difficult and awkward situation. I also had to lovingly instruct my kid how to deal with awkward situations with the right words at the right time. After a game my kid would ask me if she can go talk to her mom. I said of course and you don’t need to ask me anymore. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/05/26 06:19 PM |
| 1 | The small momentsYou can throw a badass grad party for your son. Or just take him somewhere interesting as a grad present. Get creative and make it awesome. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/05/26 04:54 PM |
| 2 | The small momentsI agree. We go where we want, stay for as long as we want, eat where ever we want, come home and do whatever we want. Placating a nagging wife is misery compared to being a divorced dad. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/05/26 04:50 PM |
| 3 | Divorce agreement helpRun numbers through your state child support calculator to figure out if it is accounted for in the CS you are paying. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/05/26 12:55 AM |
| 7 | The small momentsPerhaps the mom should be chipping in for the membership as well? Pick up golf buddy it’s the divorce man’s paradise!!! | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/05/26 12:06 AM |
| 4 | Unconscionable? - Ex and mediator put forth the idea that she is entitled to 102% of the marital estate.Respondent responds with motion for exclusive use of the house, best vehicle, temporary child support, temporary spousal support and $4586 for marital expenses. Two can play this game some of us just can’t see how to shut this shit down for $150. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/05/26 02:42 AM |
| 14 | Unconscionable? - Ex and mediator put forth the idea that she is entitled to 102% of the marital estate.Tell your lawyer to set a trial date. He or she is not to respond to your ex, her lawyer, or bill you for a single dollar until the trial date is set. If he or she cannot do the one simple thing to actually move your divorce forward, they aren’t really working for you. About 85% of us had absolutely shit lawyers who would fail this simple test. Why the fuck would you pay someone $400 an hour to string you along for the next 18 months. It’s an obvious scam from the cheap seats. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/05/26 02:39 AM |
| 5 | Unconscionable? - Ex and mediator put forth the idea that she is entitled to 102% of the marital estate.Unfortunately your comment is buried and will be missed by the person who needs it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/05/26 02:34 AM |
| 5 | 14 hours in 50 DaysThe entire thing is a scam. Don’t take it personally. Just optimize it over the long run. Don’t give her predictable motions any ammunition whatsoever. Every stupid text you send will be used against you. Send nothing ever other than once or twice a week form email that your lawyer approved along the lines of: “Can you drop the children off at my mom’s house at noon Saturday for a family celebration?” In the long run you can get 50/50 or whatever schedule you want if you don’t shit the bed and f… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/05/26 09:41 PM |
| 8 | 14 hours in 50 DaysFollow the court orders to the letter. Do not get caught slipping. You’re in for 18 months or 2 years of BS. Play the long game. Don’t spend $50k-$100k on lawyers when the result is gonna be the same as if you spend $10k. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/05/26 09:36 PM |
| 5 | Things just keep somehow getting worse manI paid a referred lawyer who told me I couldn’t afford to retain him $400 to answer these questions and 50 others. In my locale, the lawyer told me one time hack to discover my ex was having an affair is nothing, so I didn’t worry about it. Ymmv. On the other issue in my locale it didn’t matter so my filing or divorce did not include anything about infidelity. I had a card up my sleeve that I could recoup some small affair costs if I chose to do so. The benefits would be a tiny payment and maybe… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/05/26 07:03 PM |
| 6 | Things just keep somehow getting worse manDo not negotiate or try to plan when she is in a bad mood. If your mortgage is $7k you make a shit ton of money and have a lot to lose so get expert legal advice. What you do in this situation is interview 5-10 lawyers (it’ll cost you a couple thousand bucks total for the right advice), then pick one and file for divorce. Let the dust settle then negotiate. Ideally you strike a good deal your lawyer coached you through in mediation without the lawyers present. That’s how I got out of my cheating… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/05/26 06:35 PM |
| 21 | ReconciliationOnly thing that matters is what’s in those divorce papers she’s coming over for you to sign. You’re gonna get screwed if the work you’ve done hasn’t included divorce prep. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/05/26 10:44 PM |
| 10 | How the hell do people afford this?My ex wife was the same as everybody else’s. Greedy scumbag etc etc. I had to say whatever I needed to fuckin say to get the deal done in mediation at low cost. We have a kid. My North Star: gtfo of this marriage as cheaply as possible with as much of my assets as possible with the best possible go forward cash flow situation. I came out smelling like fucking roses with that North Star and have none of the problems we read about here. I kept my eye on the ball. Most guys are getting distracted b… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/05/26 09:00 PM |
| 7 | How the hell do people afford this?Is it a “collaborative divorce” where you hire all sorts of experts? That is for high net worth individuals. What you need is an appointment with a mediator. If you’re not court ordered to pay her attorney’s fees, stop now. Continue the process in mediation without lawyers. I split my $500k—$750k marital estate with a mediator in 2 fuckin hours for $500 the week before some trial no one was ready for. I didn’t get some great deal but I got the deal I needed: An end to all divorce bullshit with a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/05/26 08:55 PM |
| 2 | Headed back to Mediation after divorce finalized 2 years agoSounds like the kids still made it to the funeral and your ex is common. Wouldn’t waste my time and money on mediation over this stuff. When my ex used to jack up my plans I would say “ok I will be taking the kid to my folks’ 4th of July weekend this year.” She stopped jacking up my plans when I immediately replaced them with better more convenient plans. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/05/26 03:26 PM |
| 26 | "Congratulations you two!"For anyone else reading… no sweetheart deals on the home equity. Sell the house and split the proceeds unless it’s a win win deal to have her keep the house. It is a big mistake to fall for the “it’s best for the children for you to fall on your sword and give her the equity”. If you’ve read this forum it always goes like this. Her next boyfriend can build equity with her. You need that money to raise your kids in your own household. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/05/26 04:05 AM |
| 21 | Donuts with DadMake sure you are on all the school emails. Sign up for whatever you want without input from ex. For example I sign up to chaperone field trips if I want to. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/05/26 04:06 PM |
| 6 | D-DayWe all have the same story brother. The advice is tried and true: go to gym, get buff, update wardrobe, get a stylish new haircut (not great clips). This will get you a raise at work and many fine women will want a shot at the champ. Your ex is an ingrateful bitch, same as the rest of em. I would be shocked if she didn’t have some goon new boyfriend for the last 2 months. He’s broke and he’s an ex con but he’ll eat out your nasty ex’s bunghole. Once you get laid you’ll see your ex for what she i… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/05/26 10:34 PM |
| 8 | Found out todayBe the man you want to be and these bottom feeders can’t tell you shit. Been there done that brother. Nothing anybody can say will form the opinion of the child you are raising. Some live in boyfriend told my kid “your dad doesn’t care about you.” I laughed when my kid relayed it to me. My tips are read to the kid in bed every night you have them and coach their sports teams. Nobody can say shit about you and if they do it is obvious they are lying. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/05/26 07:18 PM |
| 3 | Calculations…It’s a scam | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/05/26 05:13 AM |
| 1 | Parenting plan inquiryMediation payment. Split 50/50. Otherwise you’re just paying a mediator to tell your ex your soft spots so she can build an expensive legal case! Also sets the precedent legal bills will be paid individually. Relocation agreement. Primary parent (the mom) will generally be able to move wherever they want. They won’t even bring that court if you have it spelled out in the agreement. We pay them so much you should be able to negotiate this favorably. Taxes. Every thing you pay her is after tax. Yo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/05/26 09:17 PM |
| 3 | You guys were right…You get one chance to let the cat out of the bag. My preferred approach is bring it up at her family dinner with proof. Then go home. And let her parents deal with it. A really nice touch is have her served at work. In any case, think it through very carefully. No do overs. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/05/26 05:41 PM |
| 1 | Weird how everything fell into place like I predicted it would...Excellent | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/05/26 05:32 PM |
| 14 | May I ask what led to your divorce?Caught her in an affair and divorced that ho. Life is much better now. She was lousy well beyond the affair. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/05/26 05:30 PM |
| 1 | Whens the right time to tell the kid?Idk but every story we’ve ever read has the ex wife either sabotaging it or fumbling it. I filed when my kid was 3. Picked her up from daycare and she said why don’t you live with us anymore? I said your mom had a secret boyfriend so I filed for divorce. Others would have me feel guilty but I don’t at all. The subject never comes up anymore and there’s not some family secret. My ex and some other new boyfriend were pissed tho 🤣 | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/26 09:25 PM |
| 4 | It never ends/ so angryHow long married? How much do you make? Did your ex ever work? Those numbers are huge I’m sorry man at least you helped me feel better about my $800 going to some thot. She got me for a bunch of stocks and a house too. I was only married for 7 years and they were my best earning years because my company popped off (since came back to earth). | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/26 09:06 PM |
| 1 | Trying to understand what this meansYour desired outcome is very unlikely. But doing the opposite of what you’ve been doing would be the place to start. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/26 05:12 PM |
| 4 | Trying to understand what this meansWe all thought we were the exception to the rule. Then you see some pickup in the driveway or whatever. She’s already given you the speech. It is what it is don’t take it personally. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/26 05:10 PM |
| 2 | Trying to understand what this meansThis is exactly what’s going on. Sorry OP it sucks to get manipulated and gaslit like this. Obviously you’re confused, that’s the whole point of what she’s doing. Trying to keep you off balance and off the scent of what is pretty clearly a new crush in the picture and keeping you on the back burner. She wants out and she wants you to be nice and docile about it. The tell is “I love you but I’m not in love with you.” This is what women say when they have a hard on for some other chode. What has h… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/26 05:09 PM |
| 1 | Can someone explain child support to me in NJ?DM this guy | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/26 11:52 PM |
| 1 | Can someone explain child support to me in NJ?Dm the guy from nj on this thread. I know a lot about divorce laws and have some general tips but talk to that guy first. His lawyer is probably better than your lawyer. And it’s not a waste of time or money to get the right person at the negotiation table. Don’t fold yet. Hang in there. Most deals happen very quietly right before the big trial we’ve been losing sleep over. Your position should be “I will be treated fairly or we can roll the dice”. Your ex is in the same boat don’t be afraid. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/26 11:48 PM |
| 3 | Ex wife picsI kept the good pictures of her and our kid. They don’t pop up. It’s a non issue. My kid was a toddler when we split; I’m not deleting pics of my baby over some thot. When I show my kid her baby pics I don’t get triggered. It’s easy and if this is the big divorce problem you actually don’t have any big problems. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/26 11:06 PM |
| 3 | Scared to raise daughterThose are 3 other excellent cures for divorce. Do things that bring you joy. Think about things that improve your life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/26 10:59 PM |
| 8 | Ex wife picsDelete. Much finer women out there waiting for a shot at the champ. The trick is realizing your ex is common. If you did her dirty you have a lesson to learn. If she did you dirty let freedom ring. In either scenario you need to hit the gym, get buff, get a raise, and be the man you want to be. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/26 10:50 PM |
| 2 | Can someone explain child support to me in NJ?Where are you at in the process? The huge huge victory that should be automatic is you don’t pay her. Everything beyond that is just gravy. Keep your eye on the ball: ability to live an awesome joyful life with plenty of quality time with your kids. Not paying her is a great start. Getting some CS would be a dream for any of us. Alimony is bs. The fact you hadn’t read the pdf yet on the other comment is worrisome. You should be able to raise your kids in a similar lifestyle as your ex wife… at l… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/26 09:47 PM |
| 3 | Can someone explain child support to me in NJ?Damnit most of us had to play this game with the losing hand. We would love attorneys fees. OP should operate with strength and conviction when he has the statutes working in his favor. They set up the family court so the man always has the losing hand with carve outs and subjective nonsense. For example when it’s ex wife’s turn to pay they will find whatever loophole so that she doesn’t pay big. It’s a massive scam and nobody cares until they are in the crosshairs. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/26 09:38 PM |
| 1 | Scared to raise daughterYour situation is much much better than trying to do this with pre teens and teens. Make your new life awesome for yourself and your kid. Whatever shit you did in the past is done you gotta move forward in earnest and build an awesome life. Try to find a good counselor so you can let go of the past and build a better future. Millions of people have done it. You can do it too and it’ll be awesome when good things come your way. Look around and smell the roses life is good you have your health, yo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/26 09:11 PM |
| 6 | Scared to raise daughterRaising my daughter half the time since she was 2 without meddling killbuzz ex wife has been the great joy of my life. Read to her every night you have her. Shower her with love. Coach her sports teams and teach her how to play golf (the new hobby you’re desperately searching for). Good luck. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/26 09:05 PM |
| 5 | Can someone explain child support to me in NJ?Double standards in divorce court are such a fuckin joke. Every man on here got calculated at max earnings for CS. We would get laughed out of the building trying to exclude bonus, stocks, or anything else from support calculations. You won’t be starting over with a new lawyer. This shmuck is working for your ex wife. Fuck all of them get CS and Alimony. Only way kangaroo family court will ever get corrected is if women start having to pay. Right now they get discounts on every single issue exce… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/26 05:03 PM |
| 1 | Anyone who’s gone through a removal/relocation battle, what should I prepare for in court?Read the relevant statutes 50x. Build your case around the statutes. School, healthcare, community, family in that order is what you will probably find. Game theory approach says make it very expensive for her to even explore this. Meanwhile you work on the cheap. I’d start with some free consults, some $400 consults, and some $250 paralegal prep. If she’s putting a good case together, I would either A) sell the farm to win the case with best legal representation available or B) move to the new … | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/26 04:20 PM |
| 6 | What was the thing that made you say you no longer love your wife?Idk but I’m happy I divorced that ho | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/26 04:04 AM |
| 4 | What was the thing that made you say you no longer love your wife?Wait who asked who | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/26 03:59 AM |
| 2 | Finally about to get a divorce how screwed am i ? (California)An accountant had better divorce tips with the big money issues than the lawyer. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/26 03:30 AM |
| 3 | Finally about to get a divorce how screwed am i ? (California)You’re on the right track by focusing on the facts that matter. I’d retain a lawyer for advice and then try to get this done at low cost in mediation. May not be possible. I used a game theory approach to get an acceptable deal in mediation. It’s nothing I’m thrilled with but I got the big numbers close enough and greased around the edges with things like taxes. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/26 03:30 AM |
| 1 | It’s been a month and a halfBasically what you should do is start doing push-ups. It’ll make you feel good. Make a goal and see it through. Push-ups are the easy one because once you can do 25 good push-ups even if you started at 5 you will look good and feel amazing. You will gain momentum which is critical for divorced men. What you should do now is analyze your life and upgrade everything. If you woke up a 45 minutes earlier and ran a quick jog followed by some push-ups, a haircut, some hard sweating self improvement, y… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/04/26 11:05 PM |
| 2 | It’s been a month and a halfI was in the same boat after just 7 years with only one daughter. You are probably a better man than me. The old lady lesbian ex wife is something that’s been posted here many times. I wouldn’t take it personally. Instead focus all mental energy on this morbid subject into how you can improve your life and the lives of your children. You know what to do, just do it. Make your new life awesome. If you need a hobby try golf. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/04/26 10:33 PM |
| 5 | I Can't See A Future For MeI have very good news for you and an excellent solution: Be the man you want to be. It’s a classic concept which is why “to be, or not to be” is one of the most famous lines in all of human history. You will gain respect for yourself and respect from everyone around you. Nobody is perfect. Become the man you want to be. You can study the concept of atonement if the guilt is overwhelming. The reality is no matter what you’ve done and where you go, you can move forward and be the man you want to b… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/04/26 10:07 PM |
| 3 | I broke and begged her back.She is gonna feel really dumb when you upgrade everything in your life. The look on my cheating ex’s face when my hot gf opened the door to my fat golf course house was very satisfying 🤣🤣🤣 | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/04/26 03:49 AM |
| 1 | Ex wont wont agree to kids meeting current gf.Your ex doesn’t need to meet your dates nor do you need to meet hers. Definitely don’t be meeting anyone else’s kids! Man you should just enjoy being single for a while wtf is the rush to blend your family? It’s a train wreck waiting to happen. You know you can date without anyone meeting any children right? The best part of divorce is dating a bunch of fine women while your ex is watching the kids Lolol you just rushed passed all that to placate another woman with kids 🤣 Cmon man. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/04/26 08:36 PM |
| 4 | Worried sickSkip the counseling appointment and see a lawyer instead. Can probably file divorce same day and take control of this situation. Or you can wait for her little trip and spring into action. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/04/26 03:37 PM |
| 1 | When to settleLook up game theory and dwell on it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/04/26 01:01 AM |
| 3 | Just a tidbit of my s**tSounds like a successful marriage which is why I will not be getting married a second time. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/04/26 12:51 AM |
| 2 | Out with another guyYou should get a wise male counselor instead. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/04/26 12:39 AM |
| 2 | My 7 year marriage ended yesterday and I don’t know how to process itMy wisdom 8 years out is that the financial implications of the deals you make in the coming months will last a lot longer than the pain. Keep your eye on the ball: starting your new life in the best financial position possible. As for the pain, hit the gym, get buff, get some back massages, update your wardrobe and hairstyle. Do things that bring you joy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/04/26 12:34 AM |
| 1 | Looking For AdviceAt this point consider limited representation and see it through til the judge bangs his gavel. Don’t fold now especially since her offers are bad. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/04/26 12:31 AM |
| 5 | Warning Signs?Have her served at work and move on. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/26 07:21 PM |
| 6 | Warning Signs?Agreed. These balls will be enthusiastically drained or I will find your replacement. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/26 07:20 PM |
| 2 | How to deal with the tension and anxiety of an upcoming divorce?Look forward and dream about a better life for you and your kids. For you: finally time to chase your own dreams, goals, passions, and hobbies. I picked up golf during divorce and it’s the best thing ever. Just won a 50 man tournament! Would never have happened with the old ball and chain. For your kids: be father of the year when you have them. You’ll treasure your time with them and it will be very happy and enriching. Much better than with killbuzz calling all the shots. Look to new opportuni… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/26 03:39 PM |
| 6 | Are female couple counselors biased towards wives?Is there anything more miserable in the entire world than marriage counseling? | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/26 06:58 AM |
| 2 | Do you need to hear this?Keep grinding brother your breakthrough is coming. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/26 05:25 PM |
| 6 | 9 months out and no longer in crisis, but still feeling stuckI remember walking to work one day and everything suddenly got vividly colorful. Trees, sky, everything. I was just like, “sweet my depression is over.” True or not I just decided I’m not depressed anymore I’m moving on. Best thing I did to enjoy life again was pick up golf and make 100 buddies in local men’s club. Then I started gaining momentum, being happy and grateful, and good things started happening for me. Now life is awesome. I’m 8 years out. That first 18 months or so fucking sucked. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/04/26 07:08 PM |
| 1 | Why do step dads get such a raw deal?Free room and board plus a little child support from the father. Banging the mom. Spending your time and money on some kid. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/04/26 07:02 PM |
| 1 | Why do step dads get such a raw deal?🤣🤣🤣 | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/04/26 06:59 PM |
| 1 | Why do step dads get such a raw deal?🤣🤣🤣 | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/04/26 06:58 PM |
| 6 | How to deal with being the bad guy to kids and exHave not experienced this but I can tell you are not a bad dad. Play the long game, support your children, SHOW THEM and lead by example. Keep grinding. Make your life awesome and improve your kids’ lives. Even when you have “strict” requirements like brushing their teeth and doing their homework and getting good grades, your household should be peaceful and joyful. Make your household awesome. You are not the bad guy you are the father and no one said it would be easy. But it will pay off just … | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/04/26 12:32 AM |
| 1 | Divorce didn't break my definition of success. Fatherhood did. And that was the right order.My analysis suggests ‘game theory’ is the way for divorcing men. The core question is “what is best for me and my children over the long term?” In other words, if I took the emotions and pain out of the equation, what’s my next best move to achieve my dreams and goals? Game theory approach suggests you are completely CORRECT about a random argument in March. On the other hand, you better be prepared for the 3 hour mediation appointment or 10 minute court date in 18 months, which will determine t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/04/26 11:48 PM |
| 5 | Need adviceSchedule an appointment with a counselor, get a back massage, start banging out push-ups and going for jogs. I agree with others she is for the streets now. I would give her the divorce post haste!!! You will get a better deal if you work quickly. Talk to 4 lawyers. Drum up referrals. Take care of your health right now. You need to think clearly to get out of this jam. Good luck brother and I will note… my ex wife doing this shit was the best thing that ever happened to me. You gotta lock in and… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/04/26 10:39 PM |
| 5 | Relationship with in lawsMy experience precisely. It took a lot of composure to see the forest for the trees. It worked out splendidly well for me to not take it personally. I think they will come around if you become the father you want to be. It will become obvious who is actually working in the best interests of the grandkids and they will appreciate it. Freaking out on them for their daughter’s transgressions and their obligatory support of their daughter is not the best game theory move long term. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/04/26 08:22 PM |
| 9 | Relationship with in lawsI’m 8 years out with a kid. When I caught my ex wife in an affair her family seemed horrible. The ex MIL accidentally sent me a text reading “he’s acting crazy. If anyone will be leaving it will be him.” That stung in a big way as I was being a nice guy dork the entire marriage. However, I sought counseling and prayed for wisdom. Here is how it shook out. The train wreck ex wife got some weirdo childless bf. The in laws hated him. I just laid low did my duties and obligations. I understood the i… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/04/26 08:10 PM |
| 6 | How to survive financialy.Keep grinding brother. Think long term. Food banks and public assistance are meant to help you survive. Use them. IMO $60k is just not enough these days. Focus your energy on improving your station in life through gainful employment. I think DoorDash is a death spiral. The opportunity cost is too high. I would explore community college and become close acquaintances with the career counselor in lieu of spending your time on DoorDash. Look to the future and seek out new opportunities. We are root… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/04/26 07:14 PM |
| 3 | Lawyer feesIf it’s truly uncontested hire a mediator for $500 to memorialize your agreements and file them with the court. Go in there with a summary of agreements, they will let you know what you forgot, talk it through, get the deal memorialized in 2 hours. Mediator files it. It holds up because it was memorialized properly. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/04/26 02:38 AM |
| 9 | Seventeen year relationship ending, just figure I’d introduce myselfShe sounds horrific and you will be better off without her. Hit the gym, update wardrobe and hairstyle, go on a self improvement mission and get a raise at work. Don’t talk about divorce with her until you’ve seen 4 attorneys, know your case inside and out, and are sitting in front of a mediator. Don’t get punked in the divorce. Use game theory: keep as much of your money from ex wife, lawyers, alimony, and CS as you can no matter what you have to say. Your new life will be awesome you just need… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/04/26 01:40 AM |
| 13 | How many ex’s tried to come back?If you get buff, get a raise, and leave her in the dust, oh yeah they will come slithering back. Read too many stories on here to fall for that trick. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/04/26 10:02 PM |
| 7 | How many ex’s tried to come back?🤣🤣🤣 | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/04/26 10:00 PM |
| 3 | Can someone give me hope?Things turned around for me about 2 years after filing. 18 months of fear and feeling stuck. What I did to get out of the rut with big help from excellent counselor: build a new life by design. Dream about and imagine your new awesome life. New constraints? Sure. But also so many new opportunities. Dwell on what you can gain vs what you have lost. The latter goes nowhere. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/04/26 05:28 PM |
| 4 | Need some supportI would turn this into an awesome situation. Sounds ideal honestly good riddance, happy trails what’s her face and Sean. If she makes it big as a pop star OP will get loads of CS lmao | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/04/26 03:29 AM |
| 2 | My ex's boyfriend thinks he can discipline our teenage children and that he has parental authority over my kids.Shut the fuck up, you ain’t my dad. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/04/26 06:45 AM |
| 1 | Nobody asks or cares, unless its lecturing me.....But then the question is why did he allow this to go on for so long. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/04/26 03:17 PM |
| 2 | Wedding ringTossed it in the backyard when I was good and ready | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/04/26 10:13 PM |
| 2 | “Facing settlement demands after a short marriage — should I accept and move on or fight legally?”Game theory approach. Retain as much of your $$ at lowest legal cost. Your “reasonable approach” is just bad negotiation. Let her win the divorce in her mind but you keep more of your money. Fake one minute apology in mediation then present a deal that you apparently hate that pays her the lowest amount to go away. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/04/26 10:08 PM |
| 2 | Any post divorce success stories?Leaving it up to the lawyers when they have an incentive to drag it out and cost you $$$ and no incentive to get you a good deal at low cost is a common error. In this forum we tell each other how to manage our divorce case. Your lawyers do not care what happens to you after the billable hours are paid. They are an excellent resource to bounce the strategies we talk about on here. They will tell you a few things you must do that we gloss over. But make no mistake, the only person looking out for… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/04/26 08:39 PM |
| 5 | My daughter just told me somethingThese weirdo new boyfriends are sketch as hell. You need to get very good at listening to this stuff with a poker face so your kid tells you when something is really wrong. And pray it never gets to that point (would be very bad for your kid). Just keep listening without too much commentary. If this weirdo steps out of line with something useful in court, pounce on it. Until then, let this shit roll off your back. Go on your self improvement mission and make your new life awesome and improve you… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/04/26 08:17 PM |
| 16 | My daughter just told me somethingThey are clowns. So inappropriate to do this in front of a toddler. However you have no legal recourse so it is what it is. Rise above it. Be the man you want to be. Then you will forgive yourself for whatever faults you are holding onto. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/04/26 08:10 PM |
| 1 | Is being friends with your ex still possible?No just upgrade everything in your life and move on. Maybe she’ll hit you up for a good time on some random Friday night. I wouldn’t bite but maybe you will be desperate to bust. It will never get to that point if you simp for her (which is what you are doing). Being friendzoned by ex wife has no benefits whatsoever. You should be in the gym getting buff instead of plotting how to get friendzoned by your ex wife. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/04/26 08:02 PM |
| 3 | Kids’ sports apps should be more privateI do consider myself 8th degree black belt in divorce fu. I don’t think you are weak nor silly. You have a very common problem that has been asked and answered many times. We all had the same bitchy ex wife brotha. She has you living in fear over stuff that is probably not even in your divorce decree (the only sheet of paper that actually matters when dealing with her). | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/04/26 07:03 PM |
| 3 | Kids’ sports apps should be more privateYou’re losing your mind over nonsense. Follow the court order to the letter. If she takes you to court, file a motion for attorneys fees. Hopefully you didn’t sign some silly agreement with a bunch of unnecessary obligations. RSVP’ing to sports events is nonsense. Tell the coach and ex wife, we will be at every game and I will let you know if we are not. Tell ex wife, we will be moving all contact to email only. I will reply to all messages required in our divorce agreement within 48 hours. Use … | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/04/26 06:55 PM |
| 6 | Any post divorce success stories?LFG 💪 the ticket out of divorce hell is to make your new life awesome. Imagine that new awesome life and work backwards. Tell ex wife whatever the fuck she needs to hear to sign that fucking deal before the lawyers take everything and you owe them $50k. That is no way to start your new life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/04/26 06:43 PM |
| 4 | Any post divorce success stories?You say you’re not looking for legal advice when that is all you need. You need to scour this forum for strategies to get out of this with as much of your current and future $$ as possible. That is the only thing that matters. You will get over the pain and betrayal. You will not simply get over not having any money in 5-10-25 years. Some say money is second to my coparenting or whatever. Guess what, co parenting is way easier and fulfilling when you have $ in the bank. Find strategies to keep y… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/04/26 06:39 PM |
| 1 | Getting Divorced With Pregnant WifeYou will not get custody of two young children no matter how your wife melts down. You need to come to terms with that simple fact of life before proceeding. While most jurisdictions have abandoned the mother first “tender years doctrine” in the letter of the law, it is still the de facto law of the land. How do I know this? 10 consults in the same scenario. Which is your next step without telling your wife. They will tell you to start being Mr. Mom in all things related to the health and wellbe… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/04/26 06:34 PM |
| 2 | Feeling so aloneNaw just go to bed around 8 or 830 and read a book til you pass out. Then wake up early. It’s just a good way to calm down and get some sleep. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/04/26 01:33 AM |
| 6 | Why Do I Miss Her?I get triggered when my gf starts acting bitchy. Start ruminating on how much money I had to pay my bitchy cheating ex wife to go away. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/26 10:06 PM |
| 6 | Why Do I Miss Her?Man you took this thing to a deep place 🤣 I was gonna skip but the comments caught my attention. Very interesting, thank you for sharing. We got shaolin monks handing out advice for free around here now haha | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/26 10:04 PM |
| 1 | How can high earners limit the financial damage in divorce?I kept my golf cart in the divorce and moved onto the golf course. Pure bliss. Tee time is in one hour 🤣 | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/26 09:57 PM |
| 1 | How can high earners limit the financial damage in divorce?One of my favorite posts ever lmao its awesome and I been scanning this sub for a decade 🤣 | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/26 09:26 PM |
| 1 | How can high earners limit the financial damage in divorce?Between the four of us on this comment we have a good brain trust for divorce strategies. My 2c is all our bitchy ex wives are not the same and we need to match our strategy to whatever fucked off bs they are gonna pull outta their ass. I settled and it worked much better than some of the other strategies we read about. I don’t have any kangaroo family court problems. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/26 09:24 PM |
| 2 | How can high earners limit the financial damage in divorce?Not bad. The List is still a welcome change from the daily chatter about ex’s new boyfriend or whatever 🤣 | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/26 09:20 PM |
| 2 | How can high earners limit the financial damage in divorce?This list is fuckin awesome finally some creative out of the box ideas to solve our problems. I’m only halfway through and can tell you are the fuckin divorce guru. Ignore the haters they don’t have shit to lose or maybe would rather get some moral victory than keep their fuckin hard earned money and house. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/26 09:19 PM |
| 1 | Caught my wife cheating… now she wants half of everything??Because it will cost an exponential amount to fight it in court. Game theory says just do what’s best for your wallet long term. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/26 03:30 AM |
| 4 | if you're oing Pro Se in Family Court this is what Worked for MeLove your practical tips. Hopefully the next guy can save 5 years and tens of thousands of dollars. After all, the objective is to get out of this nightmare and live a joyful life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/26 12:25 AM |
| 3 | Just started the whole processTalk to enough lawyers in paid or free consults and they will tell you where to live and how to pay for it. Sorry man. At least you won’t have to pay her much. It sucks but it is what it is. Hit the gym and get buff for starters. Then many fine women will want a shot at the champ and you’ll get a raise at work. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/04/26 10:58 PM |
| 1 | Caught my wife cheating… now she wants half of everything??Yeah OP should learn the divorce laws so he can get a court date asap and gather up his financial paperwork. The final order is gonna be some cash and prizes for her. It’s a simple divorce and he should keep it that way. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/04/26 10:24 PM |
| 1 | Caught my wife cheating… now she wants half of everything??I like paying this bitch off to go away. I used game theory to get out of this mess and it worked very well. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/04/26 09:41 PM |
| 2 | Caught my wife cheating… now she wants half of everything??Correct. He needs to be careful right now cuz this sluey is getting very little out of this deal. I would pay her $5k-$10k to go away today. With a signed notarized agreement of course. Or say great we can fight this out in court for the next 6 months while I recoup the hotel and brunch costs from your affair. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/04/26 09:37 PM |
| 9 | Caught my wife cheating… now she wants half of everything??Went through the same thing and came out smelling like roses. My marriage was twice as long (still very short) and I have a kid with her and make more so I pay CS. Here’s what you do: drum up some referred lawyer names. Just dropping the referral’s name will get you the case consult you need. I talked to 10 referred lawyers for like $5k. Great investment. Knew my case inside and out. Then rather than trying to fight the laws and guidelines… build your case AROUND them. Your objective is to strik… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/04/26 09:34 PM |
| 8 | Ex-wife's boyfriend overstepping boundarieslol the boyfriend is a loser bitch. It is the rule not the exception. You should have just not responded and all these clowns should have been blocked already. Email only. Block this fool now without further message. Laugh at his dumbass at pickups. And no he’s not a primary caregiver he’s a scrub living with your washed up single mom ex. Do not let these fools throw you off your mission. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/04/26 04:20 AM |
| 17 | Is there a pattern with HC divorce?There’s a new post everyday where some dude is completely bewildered about what is happening to him. Frankly for me all these stories that were exactly the same as mine helped me not take it personally. Then you can respond with game theory rather than fear. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/04/26 04:14 AM |
| 2 | "no more Mr nice guy" attitude.He thinks they are separated so she can work on herself then get back together. A ridiculous and dangerous assumption. Hope he reads the comments but post is deleted. Successful marriage after separation? Not happening. Someone is being hoodwinked. If it did work out someone would not tell the other they sowed their wild oats and Mr / Mrs familiar was the best option. “Work on myself” is code for get the fuck away from you without you freaking out. OP needs to see a counselor and a lawyer. Then … | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/26 07:20 PM |
| 1 | She wants divorceI mean maybe I’m wrong and you trained all the AI bots | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/26 07:05 PM |
| 1 | She wants divorceStop using chat bots. It sounds so fake. Write it in your own words. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/26 06:44 PM |
| 6 | "no more Mr nice guy" attitude.Dude the relationship is over at the separation. Get your head out of the sand. You do not have the nmmng attitude at all if you are reminding your month separated ‘wife’ you agreed not to date. It’s the opposite of nmmng. Just do the glow up and file for divorce then maybe she will come crawling back. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/26 04:31 PM |
| 1 | One thing divorce taught me about being a fatherCoach the sports teams. Pick a sport on the days you have them. Local YMCA has sports for every schedule. No need to even ask ex wife. If the kid misses a practice or game due to some ex wife nonsense, just coach the rest of the kids. YMCA gives coaches a packet with full practice plans and links to YouTube training videos. You don’t have to follow the plan it’s just provided. Pretty much anyone can coach a YMCA team. I asked my kid, “do you want to play soccer or basketball?” She said neither. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/26 04:22 PM |
| 3 | Feeling like a loser…and then…Can you get primary custody and have her pay you CS and/or alimony? | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/04/26 07:50 PM |
| 2 | Feeling so aloneTake care of your physical health like never before. Take lots of walks. Do 30 minutes of hard sweating exercise per day. Eat healthy food. Drink tons of water. Go to bed with a good book and a cup of tea at 8pm and put your phone away. 50 push-ups and a light jog the next morning. Put some music on and dance in the kitchen while you make some coffee and breakfast. Do all that and you will feel a bit better. It will help you tackle your other problems. This too shall pass. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/04/26 12:27 AM |
| 3 | Wife cheatedFair assessment. I would say no lingering hurt only anger that common thot got me for a couple hundred k. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/04/26 12:20 AM |
| 15 | Wife cheatedFile for divorce Get a gym membership and get buff Update your wardrobe and hairstyle In 18 months your skanky ex wife will be old news. Many much finer women will want a shot at the champ. You can play golf or do whatever you want when ex is watching the kid. It’s actually awesome if you make it so. In the long run my ex’s affair turned out to be a great thing for me. For her, not so much. I sleep like a baby in my fat golf course house. She’s in the starter home with 6 pets and a live in boyfr… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/26 11:45 PM |
| 2 | You guys were right, you always areThey aren’t pretty under gobs of makeup and spandex | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/04/26 10:18 PM |
| 3 | Told my ex I was going for my PhD she said they don't make much.It’s not ego—it’s opportunity. In the context of divorce—it’s important. Validate yourself in the context of your values. Reassess your values in the context of your new opportunity—you may find a new dimension to your problem. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/04/26 11:52 PM |
| 9 | Is it normal?Count your blessings that you’re not asking family for help. Simply remind your relative that you just got divorced and are not in a position to lend money. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/04/26 05:11 AM |
| 3 | A crazy idea?I’ve come to believe even all the family court bulllshit is still worth it to have a kid with a large loving extended family. If I had a son I would just teach him how family court works and make sure he protects his hard work and assets with a pre nup and a post nup. I was young and dumb and some thot got me for a couple hundred grand. Kid with large loving extended family on both sides still worth it in my analysis. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/04/26 08:24 AM |
| 1 | Wife file for separation. I’m counter filing divorce.Work is good, keep your job. Don’t seek distractions. Seek to improve your station in life. Seek joy. Make your new life awesome. I found it easier than expected without the old killbuzz cheating ball and chain. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/04/26 07:58 AM |
| 2 | Wife file for separation. I’m counter filing divorce.Hmm I talked to ten expensive referred respected lawyers in my county on this issue. Oh she went out every Friday and Saturday night for 6 months while you watched the toddler? Oh you make 3x her salary? You have no case for primary custody you will pay xyz monthly child support. Let’s work on you getting out of alimony. Let’s work on you getting an equity check in 6 months. No you can’t furnish your apartment unless you give her matching funds. I recommend game theory not trying to beat rigged … | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/04/26 07:52 AM |
| 1 | Wife file for separation. I’m counter filing divorce.Start doing things that bring you joy. Even if you are sad and depressed try to make even a walk around the block joyful. Listen the birds, bend over and actually smell the flowers. I picked up golf due to divorce now I’m the happiest guy on the planet. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/04/26 07:48 AM |
| 2 | Wife file for separation. I’m counter filing divorce.I would do things that set up your new life in the best financial position possible. $500 for a lawyer consult can save you 2 years of monthly $500 payments. I would focus on cash flow scenarios for the next 5 years. To start your new awesome life cash flow is absolutely critical. Even if you lose all your other money, cars, assets whatever; your ability to operate at a surplus for the next few years based on cash flow positive situation is a North Star I used and it worked extremely well. So fo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/04/26 07:45 AM |
| 3 | Wife file for separation. I’m counter filing divorce.Keep your cool at all times is rule number one. Hitting the gym, getting a haircut, doing some self care helps. Her opening salvo of crazy CS number is meaningless, don’t worry about. Talk to as many lawyers as you can so you have the lay of the land. Some free some $400. Gather more info about your case. My experience was I spent 18 months in fear of shit that did not happen. When I got her lawyers demand letter I ignored it. I had enough info from my consults to know it was bluster. I used gam… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/04/26 07:28 AM |
| 16 | Can anyone else here relate to this?Look her up she’s not hot at all. A 6 at best in her best years. Give yourself six months, maybe get laid, and you’ll realize your ex isn’t hot either. Good riddance to these washed up hoes. Don’t romanticize them. One of the reasons they cheat is they are insecure. It follows they are usually insecure because they are not good looking. Their filtered pics hide that ugly wench you had to wake up to everyday. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/04/26 07:29 PM |
| 1 | Do I get a second opinion?I mean your post is like a caricature of villain divorcing dad. Your son gets good grades, his mom cooks healthy food and lives frugally, he’s deeply involved in competitive sports. It seems you don’t like your son. Why force him to live with you? You shouldn’t have to pay alimony because your wife makes more. You cheated so you won’t find sympathy from me. Your best bet is to tell your son, “I love you and I’m proud of you.” You should be proud of him for getting good grades and excelling in hi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/04/26 04:53 PM |
| 1 | When did you stop calling her your wife?If it’s any consolation I can guarantee that other chode is in for a rude awakening sooner rather than later. For one he has to listen to your bitchy ex wife. That’s punishment enough in my experience. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/04/26 04:40 AM |
| 1 | When did you stop calling her your wife?You’re right but many men in divorce haven’t quite caught up to the fact their simpiness got them half way here. No more Mr nice guy got me out of simpville in like 3 pages. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/04/26 04:38 AM |
| 1 | When did you stop calling her your wife?Damn that’s a savage question from your lawyer. Did you win? | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/04/26 04:35 AM |
| 1 | Do I get a second opinion?Fake rage bait written by a woman | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/03/26 11:30 PM |
| 2 | Sunday night drops2 ideas: Start throwing your own badass family get togethers. It’s much easier to do without killbuzz dominating the schedule. Do something fun after you drop them off. Appreciate they are safe and happy and go do something you can’t do with kids in tow. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/03/26 04:19 AM |
| 9 | Delusional Ex WifeEvery ex wife uses these tactics to steal home equity. It may cost you more to fight it in court. The system is designed to help her steal the equity. My first move would be to have your husband do four hours of homework to organize the records. He should have his divorce decree memorized. He should have the mortgage statements organized. He should write a summary of the pertinent facts. If you bring the summarizes facts and the supporting documents to a few lawyer consults, you will find out ho… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/03/26 06:18 PM |
| 7 | Dumb QuestionYou need a long term strategy and this is a bad first move. It does nothing to help you. Look up default judgement which is the worst possible scenario for you. You are inviting it if you try to avoid service. They can just drop it in front of you and you’re cooked. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/26 09:39 PM |
| 9 | Anyone else have a STBX that has people fooled?Over time it became obvious to everyone, including her own parents. Go on a self improvement mission to become the man you want to be. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/26 06:12 PM |
| 6 | 19F trying to understand my dad better after divorce — any advice?He probably paid your mom a ton of money in a very unfair settlement. Your mom probably lied about that and said he didn’t pay squat. I say probably because that is what happens to most divorced fathers. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/26 03:56 AM |
| 1 | Just heard a car backfire 5 times.Lol | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/26 03:51 AM |
| 5 | What were the signs you wished you paid more attention to?The signs that she was a thot were always there I just ignored them. Lessons learned: no joint accounts. Oddly enough half a paycheck was enough for me to house and feed myself and pay over half the mortgage when I moved out. House cleaner costs $300 per month. That is one day of shopping for a thot. Lot of people want to take accountability for their part in the marriage breakdown. I simply blame myself for getting taken advantage of by a common ho. I don’t think that lesson was worth a couple … | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/26 01:55 AM |
| 2 | Just heard a car backfire 5 times.I don’t get it | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/03/26 10:55 PM |
| 3 | Life after DivorceWonderful after escaping cheating ex wife with the shirt on my back, a reasonable CS payment, no alimony, and a chunk of cash from the equity in the house that my ex got. Most people that are miserable after divorce made a fatal decision along the way. It’s your life not Reddits. A wise male counselor helped me answer this question and it worked. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/26 11:15 PM |
| 2 | I've come to the realization that marriage and divorce are all about the woman in life and in courts.I found it a lot easier to get over the pain and betrayal. The $$ still pisses me off. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/26 04:22 AM |
| 4 | I have friends, a job, and a full life. I've also never felt more alone. Is this normal?Start right now with pushups. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/03/26 03:47 PM |
| 18 | I've come to the realization that marriage and divorce are all about the woman in life and in courts.Hilarious post and comments. I learned this fuckin lesson at 28. Of course my mom wants me to get married again. Gave me the whole speech about how it makes HER feel. These comments reminded me just how expensive that last mistake was. So much money wasted on a thot. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/03/26 02:57 PM |
| 2 | Lawyer recomended marriage counclingShe’s already gone. If you want to win her back let her go. Look out for yourself in the divorce only. Don’t believe what she says. Has nothing to do with her counselor. Your begging, pleading, whining, negotiating for her affection, etc will not work. Tell her you will be staying in the house until it is sold or you get your equity check in the sum of xyz. Make yourself scarce around her and be father of the year. Go get your wardrobe and hairstyle updated. Get buff so other women want a shot a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/26 10:45 PM |
| 6 | DivorceFollow the decree to the letter. He should read the actual court order 3x and have all the key terms memorized. If I am not required to respond to a rant, I simply do not. Several years later I have a peaceful coparenting relationship, one or two emails per month. If she asks for something, I ask for something in return. If I ask for something and she asks for something, I either accept or decline. I like to keep the emails very short. No extra words. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/26 08:03 PM |
| 2 | Am I asking too muchYes you will be alright. Take the main comments where you just fake it til you make it to heart. The worldview shattering realization that your ex can be a total dirtbag and face no consequences (even get paid) is difficult to come to terms with. Please don’t ask her for respect. She has no honor. Her respect is worthless. She will continue to be a low rent witch. If you’re feeling jealous just remember you had her first and new guy gets scraps. Their thrilling affair is over now he just has to … | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/26 07:03 PM |
| 3 | Cheating wife , two kids 4 and 2Analysis is correct. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/26 06:55 PM |
| 4 | Cheating wife , two kids 4 and 2Well you would’ve lost $50k and gotten the same schedule. Family court doesn’t give a shit about your ex wife’s behavior, only how much money they can squeeze out of you. Looking for justice in family court is like looking for candy at the barbershop. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/26 06:54 PM |
| 2 | Am I asking too muchExactly right. Ooh she’s on the phone with her boyfriend. Big fucking deal just laugh and smile that idiot has to listen to that bitch on the phone instead of you. You caught her in an affair she’s a pos. Good news affair is over now she just has a boyfriend. He’s a dumbass for being in a relationship with your low rent ex wife. You should learn to laugh and smile about the big prize he’s won. Common washed up ex wife, let him have her. When she’s out of the room make it the most joyous time in … | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/26 06:43 PM |
| 11 | Am I asking too muchOP is not listening to any of the comments and thinks his big, “Please stop being so disrespectful” speech is going to make one iota of a difference. It will only cause her to bully you further. Fake it til you make it that her stupid affair doesn’t bother you. Upvoters for truth as usual has the best advice. I’ll put it another way, whatever you want to say to her, say the opposite with a big shit eating grin. In my opinion you are already divorced. Idgaf what she’s doing. Somebody needs to mov… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/26 06:34 PM |
| 4 | Cheating wife , two kids 4 and 2Sorry you are going through this. Same thing happened to me but I just caught her on social media not walking in on anything. 7 years out my life is awesome. Just coached my daughter’s team to the basketball league championship. All the good things in my life (like playing golf with my buddies) came after divorce. The judge hasn’t ordered anything so get that $5-$6k number out of your head. For example for alimony in my state the law considers need and ability to pay. I simply argued there was n… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/26 02:45 AM |
| 12 | Can my ex retroactively claim our house was separate property? Advice before consulting phoenix divorce lawyerHer motion will be denied. File a motion for attorneys fees. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/26 07:22 PM |
| 5 | Them leaving is the best thing to ever happen to you 🙌CORRECT. Great attitude and great post. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/03/26 04:44 AM |
| 3 | I need a woman to cuss out my bitch ass wifeShe’s saying that shit because she knows it’s the way to get under your skin. As my old man told me, a marriage needs love, trust, and respect. If you don’t have that, you know what to do. I learned to smile real big around my ex wife. Her and her boyfriend stopped talking shit pretty much immediately. It wasn’t getting the reaction they were hoping for. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/03/26 06:26 PM |
| 6 | Despair - The Long Term Financial Implications of Divorce as a DadYup it’s a massive scam that was designed for this outcome. There’s no easy way to make sense of it. If you’re paying an amount commiserate with the laws and guidelines there’s nothing to be done in divorce court. My creative idea for you is focus on cash flow, squeeze out an extra $500 per month (cord cutting etc), and bet on the stock market. If you can squeeze out some savings do a little Dave Ramsey plan and pay off any debts to open up even more cash flow, then 6 months emergency fund, then… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/03/26 06:18 PM |
| 1 | Any of you guys going through it right nowFile for divorce. Ask a few lawyers how much it’ll cost. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/03/26 04:10 AM |
| 8 | Why rush back into a relationship? What is wrong with living singleIf you’re hitting the gym and taking care of #1 many fine women will want a shot at the champ. If your ex was a dirtbag it seems like any woman who shows interest is 1000x better than your ex. And most of them are. Just don’t let the next one take 60% of your shit and ongoing payments. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/03/26 11:25 PM |
| 14 | Told not to attend first Important event post DivorceWhat a piece of shit simp. Don’t have time for that dumbass anymore. Good riddance. I joined my local golf men’s club and made 200 friends in a couple weeks. 10 great friends. We support and encourage each other and no one gives a fuck I’m divorced. Oh and when he gets divorced and needs a buddy to grab a beer with? Naw sorry buddy I’m busy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/03/26 07:22 PM |
| 5 | "taking care of yourself". How do YOU do it, consistently?I got massages because the stress made me throw my back out. They were awesome during divorce. Once you can do 50 perfect push-ups in one go you will like what you see in the mirror. I play golf a lot. It has connected me to many family members, out in nature, tons of laughter, it’s a very difficult game and keeps your mind busy. Tons of avid golfers are divorced guys. You will see how happy they are. If you’re driving long haul pack up a set of clubs and go play some golf around the country. Us… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/03/26 06:06 PM |
| 3 | Wife agreed to work it out? Can I trust her to not change her mind?lol easy to say when you’re the one getting paid in the divorce | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/03/26 05:10 AM |
| 10 | Wife agreed to work it out? Can I trust her to not change her mind?Many of us heard this speech. Talk to a lawyer and file for divorce. Have her served at work. Go see a counselor. Hit the gym and get buff. You do not deserve to be treated like a provider servant boy who gets no play. Her cold and callous nature will get worse. Frankly she is a selfish pos. I think there is more going on behind the scenes based on the words she told you. This is not how normal people behave and talk to their spouse. Get the hell away from her. Think about the parenting schedule… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/26 10:40 PM |
| 1 | Taxes QuestionAh yes I see we have the same ex wife. Of course their greed and entitlement extends to every possible tax scenario. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/26 08:32 PM |
| 7 | Why do they call it "co-parenting"?It makes the pos parent feel better for blowing up their family and making their children’s lives much more difficult. I’m not coparenting shit. I’m father of the year on my days and future golf club champ when the court order has my kid in my lying cheating ex wife’s care. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/26 08:23 PM |
| 2 | Blindsided divorce after our baby was born. A year later I’m still struggling with the lack of closure.My folks think the childbirth drugs fckd up my ex wife. I caught my ex in an affair so different than what OP is talking about. Her PPD made her do it is not a good enough answer for me. I found peace with a very simple explanation. She did it because she wanted to. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/26 08:19 PM |
| 1 | STBX posting inspirational quotes - why is this a thing?Yes but the point got across | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/03/26 05:30 AM |
| 14 | STBX posting inspirational quotes - why is this a thing?Anyone looking at your ex wifes social media is an idiot, yourself included. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/03/26 07:34 PM |
| 4 | Pro tip for distribution of assets. Do not let your lawyer and the judge screw you. Learn from my mistake.What a load of BS. Appeal it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/03/26 07:05 PM |
| 0 | Divorced dads, have any of you opted for every other weekend with the kids?My golf game is on point lil bro | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/03/26 01:57 AM |
| 0 | Divorced dads, have any of you opted for every other weekend with the kids?I opted for same 3 nights a week around my work and golf schedule. I did it because in my state CS based on income only. I basically thought about it and said to myself, “I’m paying all this CS you will do the majority of the child care and I will have plenty of high quality time with my kid and I’ll play golf every Saturday.” People on here call me selfish and blah blah but whatever this schedule works perfectly for me and my CS is just a nanny payment. I sleep like a baby, coach my kids team, … | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/03/26 05:09 PM |
| 3 | I’m done, I can’t do itTook me three counselors to find a good one. It’s not a personality match in my opinion. I found two types of counselors: people who go through the motions as a job & people who have dedicated their careers to helping people. The latter is rare but they are out there. The good one told me when I was bitching and moaning: “Cmon man I have people that need my help!” He was not fucking around he was in the business of healing people first and foremost. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/03/26 05:04 PM |
| 2 | She is trying to saddle me with her billCorrect answer. lol if we tried to shirk our bills on our ex wives like this the gestapo would haul us off to jail and the judge would hit us with a $10k penalty for legal fees. In clown divorce court they just let ex wives do whatever they want and white knight for them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/03/26 04:59 PM |
| 2 | Found out a week ago about affair…Don’t listen to anything at all she has to say about it. It is all self serving nonsense. Most of it outright lies, some half truths, and mostly just bs to appease her guilt and shame. Here is the answer I found after many months: she did it because she wanted to. She lied because she didn’t want to face consequences. What you do now: have her served at work and stay away from her while you get your divorce wrapped up. In the long run this will be awesome for you. I just got back from a weeklong… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/03/26 04:55 PM |
| 1 | Received Papers YesterdayTry golf it’s the cure for divorce | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/03/26 03:52 PM |
| 15 | What did getting divorced teach you?These hoes ain’t loyal. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/03/26 03:46 PM |
| 1 | How do you pop the question?You could start with the book no more Mr nice guy. You should have just said, they are coming to celebrate the birthday. You are welcome to leave. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/03/26 09:35 AM |
| 1 | What divorce/stress related health issues have gotten you?Went to take a shit and threw my back out. Massages were a great thing while dealing with divorce bs. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/03/26 07:08 AM |
| 2 | Imputed incomeWow!!! Well played | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/02/26 08:09 PM |
| 1 | Imputed incomeYou must be a very successful guy for that huge payment. Wishing you well in your future. You already know money comes and goes and it’s the windfalls and crashes that have to be managed carefully. I thought my 27 yo self giving some dumb cheating thot $250k in cash and prizes was the biggest injustice ever perpetuated in the history of the world 🤣 | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/02/26 07:51 PM |
| 5 | Shitty day rantYou will be ok brother. Divorce her and get her to pay you. Watch out for silver bullet. Think long term. Make new dreams and goals. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/02/26 07:42 PM |
| 1 | Should I apply for this?Good creative idea. Eligibility requirements: high school, undergraduate, or graduate student. Notable: Single parents and children of single parents encouraged to apply. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/02/26 05:45 PM |
| 1 | Imputed incomeI’ll accept your child support number (state calculated) and your lowball valuation on the house if my retirement account is not touched, I get tax credit every other year, I get a 15% cut off the top of the stock split for taxes reportable by me, I get my equity check in 3 months, oh and no alimony. She wanted the house and to just cut me out of most of the equity. I let her have it with a bunch of stuff that looked like nickels and dimes in the short term but were actually sweet delicious rosy… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/02/26 04:45 AM |
| 9 | Ex is saying I violated MSACourts won’t care at all that you got her standard medical care. My ex got my kid a Covid shot which I did not like about realized I had no case no matter what. No judge is going to hold you in contempt for getting pediatrician recommended vaccine. I would ignore her messages, let her rack up legal bills if she wants (she won’t), and not worry about this at all. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/02/26 05:18 PM |
| 0 | The speech from my old manI should’ve just copied and pasted your summary rather than my long winded novel 👍 | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/02/26 02:50 AM |
| 0 | The speech from my old manWhatever man he saw his son in extreme distress and depression. I thought I was boxed in to every horror story we read on here everyday. It didn’t happen that way at all when I changed my MINDSET. That’s what my post is about. I’ll delete it anyway to not get doxxed. it was just an idea for people walking through hell right now. Let me guess you’re operating in victim mode right now and nothing is breaking your way? | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/02/26 02:48 AM |
| 0 | The speech from my old manYes I agree with your assessment. But it was the posture that saved my bacon. If anyone wanted to play with games with me and send me to the roach motel with every other weekend I would just dip out, pay some CS, have my kid in the summer, and let her do all the work for the same exact CS check she would get with me helping out… and nix out those unvested stocks… you can see how I quickly went from holding no cards to holding all the cards and the trump card. We can do this the quick easy and ch… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/02/26 02:37 AM |
| 3 | Imputed incomeHow long did they stick you with her bills? How are you doing? I hate this racket and I appreciate you sharing specifics. Comments like yours helped guide me into a game theory approach to get out of the family court crosshairs. What a scam. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/02/26 12:27 AM |
| 5 | Imputed incomeThey only impute income on men. 40 hours of part time work would reduce your alimony and child support by $200 a month. This racket is not meant to be fair, every borderline issue will break against you. Your best bet is to negotiate with your ex and keep “family court” far far away from you. To negotiate effectively you hide your own desires and tailor your proposals to your ex’s desires. Reverse psychology, misdirection, fake one minute apology are some good angles to get out with your future … | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/02/26 11:39 PM |
| 7 | One week since caught her in affair, anyone else wives lose weight on tirzepatideSame thing happened to me 6 years ago brother. Now my life is awesome. Word of caution they will try to flip the script and make you pay CS. Look out for silver bullet divorce that’s coming your way because it’s the easy way for her to get CS. What happened to me is I hit the gym, picked up golf, have a way finer gf who’s not on crash diet drugs. My ex hit the wall and lives with some new boyfriend in the pos starter home. I’m on the golf course. Plan long term with cash flow in mind. Positive c… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/02/26 12:24 AM |
| 6 | Did divorce change how you see yourself as a man?I read No More Mr. Nice Guy and it clicked about two pages in. Following other people’s expectations and tap dancing around what you want does not get you what you want. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/02/26 06:38 PM |
| 2 | It has begunI will just tell you the last 6 years of being a divorced dad have been the best years of my life. Early days I had to practice gratitude. Warm bed, soft pillow, cold glass of water were frequent sources of gratitude. Embrace the silver linings. Just taking your kid to the park on your own timeline, sharing a wonderful meal wherever you want, not having a killbuzz around to placate, it’s awesome. I spend my time when my kid isn’t here playing golf. It’s pure bliss. Yesterday I played golf, coach… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/02/26 02:35 AM |
| 1 | Stbxw already moved her boyfriend in with her. We have two kids together how to cope.What’s the prognosis for the injury? Hang in there buddy don’t give up hope! Your ex is a nasty piece of work, she’s what’s his face’s problem now. Take care of yourself like never before. Could be a good time to find a new genre of books. Come up with new dreams and goals. Be an excellent father, look for the silver linings (they are hard to see but they are there). Overcoming this will flip the script. You can do it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/02/26 02:42 PM |
| 1 | 2 families, 1 big messHow did she find away to jack up $80 a month you should’ve saved? | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/02/26 12:46 AM |
| 3 | Looking for advice on teen daughterDon’t worry about what your ex is doing or saying. All you can control is how you show up for your kids. Model a healthy and happy lifestyle. To feel better, hit the gym, get buff, update wardrobe and hairstyle, pick up a fun new hobby that brings you joy (I suggest golf). Once you focus all efforts on improving your own life, your problems will go away. Think hard about the new life you want and make it happen. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/02/26 09:34 PM |
| 6 | Tax season yayMy ex bought a new lifted truck the first week the CS came in. She had a perfectly good new reliable vehicle with a $200 monthly payment. CS only goes up not down. Oh they’ll move it down if you become indigent, it’ll just take ‘em 12 months while it goes into arrears with interest. So much for “it’s for the benefit of the children.” That lie is the scam. It’s for the benefit of the ex wife only. “You have no idea how much it costs to raise a kid.” Yes I do have to do it half the time. Why are w… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/02/26 07:01 PM |
| 5 | Opinion Needed: Splitting an ExpenseWhat does divorce decree say? If it’s not in there no way I would pay. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/02/26 05:49 PM |
| 1 | The Courtroom Split-Screen: How ‘Normal’ Divorce Behavior Quietly Builds the Case Against YouInteresting. Why do they lose? | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/02/26 04:55 PM |
| 2 | Help!!!!Yes no fault divorce where you are forced to pay off the cheating wife is ridiculous. It incentivizes the woman to divorce. Next up they move some “bad boy” into the marital home and the ex husband pays for all of it. Truly maddening and no easy way to come to terms with it. Most online forums swap tips on how to do this, “oh he yelled at you for having an affair? He’s an abuser. Call the police and file a restraining order.” The lawyers who aid, abet, and encourage this are also culpable. The j… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/02/26 10:23 PM |
| 2 | Endless coping where is the light?Things that helped me: counseling, massages, meditation, listening to good motivational speeches on YouTube, hitting the gym, taking care of my wardrobe and appearance, 50 push-ups in the morning, and picking up golf. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/02/26 08:48 PM |
| 7 | Does it get easier?Hit gym, get haircut, update wardrobe. Let the good times roll. Feels shitty now but you’ll be better off without her. Turn it into a good thing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/02/26 05:36 AM |
| 5 | Outlasting the Silver BulletI am not loving the AI posts. They are not poetic. It is word salad and I learn nothing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/02/26 05:28 AM |
| 3 | The fallout of my Jerry Springer relationship has left me with post divorce odditiesGet out of victim mode. She did not hold you hostage. She was just a common gutter thot that you evicted from your life. Good for you. You are in control of your thoughts. You can let thoughts that don’t serve you float away. Clearly this fantasy is a remnant of the betrayal trauma. It’s a dark force that you should push away. You can just “not today!” Bang your new partner good and right and do some kinky shit with her. Forget all about your ugly washed up common low value ex wife. 5 years is t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/02/26 11:01 PM |
| 2 | Got my STBXW’s DemandsThey are trying to bleed you out. Control your divorce costs. This is a good test to see what kind of lawyer you have. In my divorce I just ignored that stupid opening salvo lawyer demand and saw it for what it was: an attempt to rile me up and goad me into making a mistake while increasing billable hours. When I ignored it my ex fired her lawyer lmao I think she realized that stupid ass letter wasn’t worth $2500. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/02/26 12:47 PM |
| 8 | Life after divorceI appreciate your point but it seems his therapy is working. By my reading this is a massive success story. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/02/26 05:23 PM |
| 6 | Divorcing a nice womanMid life crisis? Your wife sounds great. You described her as someone better than any wife ever mentioned on this sub. I would dwell on that. Add some gratitude to your life. Consequences of divorce with a child are severe. Men commenting here have been through it and none of us would recommend it if we are already married to a good woman whom we respect. Other than that you didn’t actually tell us a problem so we are just guessing. Why don’t you want to come home? What can you do to change the … | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/02/26 05:16 PM |
| 5 | How to move onIt looks like he already did that and posted chat gpt observations. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/02/26 12:08 AM |
| 13 | My STBXW lied (again)This is the type of thing I learned to change my thoughts on. So easy to say oh that lying skank up to her usual bs. But much better just be happy you get to run the whole bday and make it awesome. We literally pay these hoes money to go away, when they do we can at least be happy about. Enjoy the party 👍 | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/02/26 12:01 AM |
| 3 | Why women seem to divorce vs menCompletely disagree with everything you wrote. Basically your position is a man is pos for cheating but there must be some good reason a woman cheats. What a helpful perspective you’ve offered. Next. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/02/26 03:26 PM |
| 5 | Why women seem to divorce vs menWould be great if they could just leave without taking the money. Wam bam thank you mam nice knowing you. I don’t care that my ex is a cheating pos. I do care that she got paid for her treachery. It is not good for society. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/02/26 10:01 AM |
| 1 | Told I “Never Did My Part” After Working Two Full-Time Jobs So She Could Stay Home—Carrying the Financial Weight for 6 Years While Being a Fully Present Father. I wasn’t able to be there emotionally at every moment, just as I had no mental or emotional support while carrying everything.lol all these ex wives are the same. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/02/26 05:28 PM |
| 12 | Does the Ex feel like a parasite?Lmao this thread is awesome. We are not allowed to discuss this topic yet here we are. Can’t wait for crybabies to follow me around on Reddit and call me an incel for having the audacity to proclaim that child support is a big fucking scam. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/02/26 05:18 PM |
| 2 | Stop seeing therapist? Change therapist?Try getting a massage | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/02/26 07:44 AM |
| 4 | Well, now I am in the clubWhite knighting much worse than guessing what the problem is from the details in the post. This chick is obviously monkey branching. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/02/26 07:38 AM |
| 4 | Well, now I am in the clubI bet the dad has something to say about this woman too | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/02/26 07:32 AM |
| 8 | My wife took the kids and left. I haven’t seen or heard from my kids in over a weekTake care of yourself like you’ve never done before. Priority 1A is your physical and mental health. 18 months of bs. It’s a marathon not a sprint. Follow lawyer’s advice and especially court orders to the letter. 2nd, 3rd, and 4th lawyer’s opinions encouraged even at $500 a pop. At 30,000 feet the situation is this: you are trying to get regular high quality time with your kids with enough $$ in your pocket to enjoy life and enrich the lives of your children. Legal bills are part of the calculu… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/02/26 09:19 PM |
| 2 | Male struggling with prospect of divorceWhere was she? | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/02/26 08:37 PM |
| 6 | Further Confirmation Dating Apps = Humiliation Ritual & Total Time WasteIf you’re doing 50 push-ups in one go per day you immediately get a seat on the city council of Chadville. Many of the women are vapid bloodsuckers but not all. Lot of fatfishing to wade through. Also you need to line up 3 firm dates to get one. The app is for getting a date full stop. While some of you are talking about your Lego collection I am just lining up dates. I had to get in shape, get my teeth fixed, get a new hairstyle, and get some good pictures to go from famine to feast. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/02/26 05:28 PM |
| 1 | Does anyone know of this guy? and why aren't we fighting for change?Nobody cares until they are in the crosshairs. Best chance for reform is simply more women losing their houses and paying CS and alimony without discounts. Alas we see men all the time giving their higher earning stbx spouses discounts and grace on all issues. Why would this change when it works perfectly for everybody except divorcing men? At any given time this issue is important to a small % of the population. No change coming. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/02/26 09:08 PM |
| 3 | Her mother has been playing on her emotions and has convinced her that I'm a deadbeat dad. Legal fees are killing me as I fight for time with my own kidsSilver bullet method doesn’t require any proof only accusation. when they start this shit it’s 18 months of bs while mom sets the new status quo parenting plan for maximum child support and favorable terms on the home/home equity while dad pays all sorts of temporary support and all the bills. It is designed to work this way. Even after the 18 months of bs and everyone knows it was a silver bullet divorce the woman faces no consequences. If you’re shrewd you settle out of court and keep everyone… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/02/26 08:48 AM |
| 13 | Just waiting for it to get badThe flowers smell amazing when you get through this shit. Probably the purpose of the whole damn thing. Imagine waking up on a Saturday morning, playing golf with your buddies, and going home to take a nice long nap in front of the game with no crazy nagging lady. It’s pure bliss. Then when your kids are with you, get to do fun stuff of your choosing with no killbuzz. Divorce itself a very difficult time but I do not regret it at all. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/02/26 04:32 AM |
| 3 | Male or female mediator, does it make a difference?You gotta know your shit inside and out before you show up. Then be quiet and choose your words and numbers carefully. I stfu until it was time to say, “here’s what I’m thinking…” ex hemmed and hawed but the mediator knew it was a perfectly set up win win deal wherever possible. I didn’t have to give an inch because I knew all the numbers, guidelines, worst case scenarios, etc. To get this info it’s worth paying a couple hundred bucks to some referred lawyers for consultations. By the 6th one yo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/02/26 04:27 AM |
| 5 | Why ?🤣Well done. Keep your eye on the ball and keep your cool. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 05:15 PM |
| 3 | Anyone come out NOT broke?I’m not taking a shot at you specifically but this common (and truthful) poverty scarcity mindset is the divorce death spiral. You have much more leverage than you think (unless you give it away by showing your cards). I will be dealt with fairly at minimal cost and disruption or you can chase me across the world for one second of child rearing. Good luck getting CS and alimony from me when I blow my IRA in Vegas next week. Instead most of us get in text battles about what’s fair, who’s selfish,… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 06:01 AM |
| 3 | Anyone come out NOT broke?Many tell their ex wife exactly where to stick the knife for maximum leverage on day 1. I told my ex, “my turn to party, you will watch the kid.” Kid dropped off at my house in 15 minutes 🤣🤣🤣 Told her I really really wanted to keep the Pos starter home. I’d do anything even pay her more than the market value to keep it. Got my equity check in 2 months and splashed it all on a way fatter golf course house 🤣🤣🤣 One leverage point is knowing these exes will do the opposite of what we want. Another i… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 05:56 AM |
| 2 | Anyone come out NOT broke?The divorce guru has entered the chat!!! | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 05:51 AM |
| 1 | Anyone come out NOT broke?They only give this advice to men 🤣 women don’t get told to make more money they get told, “you need everything you can get to secure your future.” | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 05:50 AM |
| 1 | Anyone come out NOT broke?Excellent comment. I don’t know about divorced focused financial advice professionals. But thinking long term and thinking cash flow is so critical. If you have positive cash flow you can bet on yourself, bet on the stock market, and give yourself the freedom to chase your dreams. My key move was a realistic version of best case, likely case, worst case. Cost me $2500 to get it from 10 referred attorneys. I had unvested stocks. My temporary ipo stocks made it look like I was making $300k a year.… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 05:47 AM |
| 2 | When the divorce was done, what did you do ?Your bimmer is fuckin sick. Thoroughly enjoyed your comment!! | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 05:33 AM |
| 1 | When the divorce was done, what did you do ?Well I don’t want you to get divorced but after I got divorced I tell girlfriends, “I play golf every Saturday no exceptions.” It has been very shocking how they not only accept it, but respect it. It’s my self care and raison d’etre. Nobody is going to take it from me and I will not compromise my weekly joy to placate a woman ever again. Could’ve done this while married if delivered correctly. The real joy of being divorced is the 2 hour post round uninterrupted nap. That’s a pipe dream for mar… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 05:31 AM |
| 2 | When the divorce was done, what did you do ?No response to their bs is such a powerful message. Bravo. Pathetic message from her, and you treated it as such. Perfect. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 05:26 AM |
| 11 | When the divorce was done, what did you do ?Played a fuck ton of golf and became the happiest guy on the planet. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/02/26 07:58 PM |
| 3 | Anyone come out NOT broke?I paid out the ass. But all my moves were focused on long term cash flow. Like many in the comments my ex was a spendthrift. With my long term cash flow moves and getting my ex off my payroll (other than state guideline CS), I came out smelling like roses. Now I get to go on three golf vacations of my choosing per year. It’s quite lovely. If you had an ex constantly bringing your “joint” checking to 0, divorce is a godsend for your financial health. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/02/26 07:53 PM |
| 5 | Advice to remember.Advice boils down to get a pre nup. Should be able to stop them from getting too much of your shit. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/01/26 11:47 PM |
| 1 | Never should have gotten marriedYou didn’t bust a nut for two years so you started cheating rampantly until you got caught. Sounds like you’re getting the divorce you wanted. Even though your ex wasn’t putting out, you are definitely the asshole here. I can’t believe you’re blaming all this on your ex. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/01/26 09:56 PM |
| 4 | She downgradedNope not when your life got turned upside down by some thot’s whims. Of course there will be a final analysis. Perfectly fine to look back and say, wow look what a mess that dumb thot made 🤣 She can delude herself but we don’t have to. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/01/26 08:59 PM |
| 2 | Any dads here fight for *less* time with their kids?I used a lite version of this. Once you realize you can move across the country if your ex doesn’t play ball, you can negotiate from a position of strength. Turns out our ex wives actually do want us to watch the kids so they can eat pray love or whatever. And they definitely want us watching the kids so we’re not chasing way finer tail. Use this knowledge to your advantage. You have to believe it to sell it. Then you’ll get whatever parenting plan you want. They really just want the child suppo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/01/26 05:23 AM |
| 1 | Making friends after separation/divorce -Pick up golf and join local men’s club. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/01/26 06:52 PM |
| 2 | UpdateHere’s an example, I got a high 5 figure check for my equity in the house. It was a lowball but the fact I got it in 3 months vs 3 years was worth a lot. No alimony and my retirement wasn’t touched. Those three things were worth a lot more to me than getting every last red cent of home equity or freaking out that I didn’t think my CS payment was fair. The way I negotiated was say nothing until the chips were actually down in the mediators zoom call with a trial date coming right up. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/01/26 06:14 PM |
| 2 | UpdateI consulted with ten referred lawyers, some free. Cost: $2500 Sniffed out the bullshitters and inexperienced easily. The best one cost $400 and told me where to put my money during divorce, how to negotiate for my retirement, stocks, get out of alimony (7yr marriage) and said you can’t afford me good luck. You should be able to figure out the state guidelines on your own then focus on optimizing around the edges. Best case scenario is a mediated settlement without your individual lawyers present… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/01/26 06:10 PM |
| 2 | Advice on how to respondSounds like it’s the insurance premiums. It’s like $300-$400 per month. Since he didn’t take the $500 child support I don’t see why he would pay. If he can fart out $150 per month I’d entertain it and get something in return (holidays). If he and his new spouse would have to forgo a vacation to help, I wouldn’t even respond. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/01/26 05:54 PM |
| 8 | Ripped the bandaid off. Feel alone on an island.Dream scenario. Have her served at work. She is for the streets and has been for a long time. You need self respect and you won’t get it back until you have her served with divorce papers. It’s a straightforward divorce you’ll be fine. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/01/26 08:45 PM |
| 1 | Complicated Divorce Ahead - Advice?You should talk to a bunch of lawyers to get the lay of the land then strike a deal with your stbx in mediation with just a mediator. You’ll have to pay out the ass no matter what but the silver lining is your new life can be absolutely awesome. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/01/26 05:18 AM |
| 3 | Providing social media login for discovery?It’s a clown world. All those liens being filed as some lawyer’s divorce scam. Wish someone would put a lien on their house. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/01/26 08:19 AM |
| 4 | Providing social media login for discovery?I got some stupid demand letter from some cunt lawyer. I simply tossed it. Can’t recommend that course of action but 4 months later I was at the mediation table saying, “if you get half my unvested stocks (less capital gains taxes), per state law there is no need for alimony. Since I am paying health insurance premiums I will receive the child tax credit every other year. If I receive my equity check in the amount of xxx in 6 months and my retirement account is untouched we can wrap this thing u… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/01/26 07:57 AM |
| 2 | Providing social media login for discovery?What happened with the liens? What a fuckin scam. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/01/26 07:46 AM |
| 1 | Providing social media login for discovery?Does she know any of your passwords? You need a whole new password system on everything. Ask AI for a list of websites you might have passwords for and change them all to something that she can’t guess or access on any device. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/01/26 07:44 AM |
| 3 | Providing social media login for discovery?Retain a lawyer at once. Find the bot or app that edits all your Reddit posts and comments into random scrambled words, then delete your account. I think you have to be on PC to do all that. It would be crazy to divulge your social media accounts in a regular divorce but it does happen. Another one is when they ask for every piece of paper and digital trail ever in their discovery, you ask for twice as much, but you paid a lawyer $5k so that your request is actually lawful and relevant. The draw… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/01/26 07:28 AM |
| 25 | Women Typically Don't Leave for a Worse Situation..... Exceptions to the Rule?Par for the course. They usually get to live the high life hot girl summer for a year or two on your dime. Then they transition to cat lady. These types take you for granted and think the grass is greener somewhere else. The look on my cheating ex’s face when she had to drop my kid off at my fat golf course house with my hotter gf was priceless. When they come crawling back just ignore. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/01/26 04:47 AM |
| 5 | Getting Divorce, scared it’s gonna get messyScrounge up a couple hundred bucks and drum up some referred lawyers for consultation first. Come prepared with a list of your questions. Ask AI to help organize a list of questions. You’re looking for creative ways to be cash flow positive after divorce. Mediation when you’re armed with the facts is a good way to get out. I divorced my cheating ex 6 or 7 years ago and life is wonderful. Being a divorced dad can be awesome. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/01/26 11:18 PM |
| 12 | Is it normal….After 2 of these sessions I found out my ex was having an affair. The marriage counselor wasn’t even surprised at all. She recommended a divorce and had my ex stay late to talk about who knows what, probably divorce tips and tricks for women. So yeah I just paid for and wasted time listening to a couple of bullshitters. 10/10 would not recommend. However the memory of telling my ex “I filed for divorce, I’m moving out tomorrow” still brings a joyful smile to my face. She couldn’t believe it lol.… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/01/26 05:21 AM |
| 2 | Dealing with post-divorce coercive control and parental alienationAlready noted on prior comments on this thread. Look at the ten other posts today dealing with the exact same thing you’re dealing with if you want other ideas | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/01/26 10:45 PM |
| 2 | Dealing with post-divorce coercive control and parental alienationI talked to a counselor and changed MY ways since that’s all I can control. But yes you win the evil ex wife Olympics have a cookie. Just try and make everyone else change that will work. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/01/26 10:42 PM |
| 2 | Dealing with post-divorce coercive control and parental alienationDude all of our ex wives do this shit I don’t understand why you think your ex is so especially evil have you visited this page before? | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/01/26 09:54 PM |
| 2 | Dealing with post-divorce coercive control and parental alienationIt would be much easier for you to find a therapist who helps YOU deal with these problems. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/01/26 08:51 AM |
| 2 | Dealing with post-divorce coercive control and parental alienationI would only put my kid in therapy if the therapist is a known proven champion expert. They are out there but VERY rare. The “therapy” you are thinking of is modeling a healthy lifestyle. You seem to think your ex is worse than every other ex wife and you need some hero to step in and save the day. You are the father, you are that person! Therapy for yourself with someone who will tell you don’t bitch about others, be the man you want to be is your answer. You’re doing this to yourself is the to… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/01/26 08:50 AM |
| 2 | Dealing with post-divorce coercive control and parental alienationThe reason the responses are the same is this is a common dynamic. We are offering solutions not vindication. You may not find vindication. Focus on solutions to your problems. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/01/26 08:41 AM |
| 1 | Decree violationsYou can go to the police station and just say here’s my divorce decree I know you’ll say this is a civil issue but could you at least write me a note that she withheld the kids or whatever. Then do the same to her. I just didn’t show up next time. Obviously don’t want an Amber alert so just email and say, I’m using my make up day from January 13. I like to train these ex wives. When they’re difficult I’m difficult. When they’re accommodating I’m accommodating. Guess what, now she’s flexible and … | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/01/26 12:29 AM |
| 6 | Strange divorceYou can’t negotiate desire. You can get buff and have other much finer women begging for a shot at the champ. That’s how you win her back. When it works you may not want her back. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/01/26 09:19 PM |
| 2 | Someone my ex know reached out to meIf you’ve been doing your push-ups I know exactly what this text is all about | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/01/26 07:51 PM |
| 6 | Dealing with post-divorce coercive control and parental alienationMy ex’s thoughts and opinions do not matter. I keep communications to an absolute minimum and only via email. Her thoughts and opinions are ignored. I ignore emails I’m not required to respond to. I treat her as a nanny. I don’t ask her for permission I follow the divorce decree. I don’t need her for jack shit and I’m not beholden to her approval on anything. All I have to do is follow the court order and there is nothing she can do to bother me. If her and her boyfriend want to criticize me I l… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/01/26 05:56 PM |
| 3 | Just got into it…All things will be settled in due time. This too shall pass. Hang in there buddy. 7 years ago I was in divorce hell. Now I’m quite happy about it. I picked up golf to deal with it. Made me the happiest guy on the planet. Played with my dad today on an unseasonably beautiful sunny day and we enjoyed every second of it. There will be many beautiful days in your future too. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/01/26 07:48 AM |
| 4 | Just got into it…Book an appointment with a male therapist. You’re under a lot of stress and anxiety. You can learn ways to deal with it so you can function. You need to use good judgement. Mistakes will be made along the way but I think you need help to get your head on straight and chart a new and better path forward. Good luck. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/01/26 07:38 AM |
| 4 | This isn’t about you or your wife, this is about the law.Yup you’ve pretty much nailed it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/01/26 05:54 AM |
| 3 | Divorce parties.You can be proud of the courage it took to file or the resilience it took to claw your way out. I could easily say a long marriage placating some bitchy woman isn’t something to be proud of so why celebrate it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/01/26 12:43 AM |
| 4 | Child Support PaymentsIt’s a scam. My ex went out and bought a $70k truck as soon as the first CS check came in. I used to consider it her truck payment, now I consider it a nanny payment and treat her as such. Works out quite well actually. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/01/26 11:32 PM |
| 2 | STBXW is buying me out of our house. What are the pros and cons of me moving to the town next door where housing is cheaper? We have three kids that will be splitting 50/50 time.Yeah with three teens you need 3BR. Whatever dwelling make it a fun spot for your kids. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/01/26 07:51 PM |
| 2 | Divorce parties.Years later I celebrate mine. Got a new lease on life, shed a cheater, and picked up golf. Even after a CS payment I have more money and go on three golf trips a year. Have my kid every other day where I am happy and we have a wonderful time. So I will celebrate and remind others this can be a great thing. Sure didn’t seem like it at the time but now that I’m out of the woods I feel lucky my ex had an affair so I could get away from her with a clear conscience and enjoy life without placating th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/01/26 05:47 PM |
| 10 | Ex-wife’s boyfriend loves to talk shit and taunt.Remember you had her first when she was younger and hotter. Remember the best this dude can get is your bitchy single mom ex. It’s pathetic. Then smile at him. Big shit eating grin. Laugh at him. My exes boyfriend told my kid when she was six that her dad doesn’t love her. My kid told me. But now that im coaching the teams, stacking chips, have a way finer gf who doesn’t bitch and nag, the smiles come easy. There’s not a thing this bum could say or do to get under my skin. He’s shacking up with … | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/01/26 05:24 PM |
| 3 | STBXW is buying me out of our house. What are the pros and cons of me moving to the town next door where housing is cheaper? We have three kids that will be splitting 50/50 time.I rented an apartment for two years then bought a better house in the same city. Not only is the house better but it’s on a golf course which is my favorite hobby. My advice is dream about and design your new life. Make your dreams come true and the divorce becomes a giant blessing in disguise. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/01/26 05:18 PM |
| 1 | My storyLove your attitude. I too prayed for wisdom and strength. It worked. I don’t know what the wisdom is here but her diabolical calculated approach to this is sick. Do not listen to her pathetic excuses. I think you should get every last red cent the law prescribes. They will tell you it’s harming the daughter. Ignore. You are due substantial financial renumeration, and unlike most of us, you’re in a good position to get it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/01/26 05:15 PM |
| 1 | What are your distractions?Just keep grinding. Do the 20 with better form and do a couple more sets per day. Do some incline push-ups off your bed. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/01/26 04:09 PM |
| 7 | How to balance accept versus hopeYour strategy won’t win her back. File for divorce and get a hotter gf. Then she’ll come crawling back. But when your gf doesn’t bitch and nag plus gives better dome, you’ll realize you’re much better off. What your stbx is doing is very common. She is moving on without you while getting your paychecks for as long as possible. The book “No More Mr. Nice Guy” is referred here often for very good reasons. It describes exactly what you’ve been doing and the exact result it got you. Hopefully you em… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/01/26 08:17 PM |
| 6 | What are your distractions?Set some goals for your workouts. My favorite for new divorcing guys is work your way up to 50 perfect push-ups in one go. Even if you start at 5 or 10 hitting that 50 number is awesome. You’ll look in the mirror and like what you see. There is something very powerful about doing push-ups first thing in the morning. You’ll get worn out and shit like cheating ex wives or asshole bosses just won’t bother you as much. It’s also a good number because you’re strong enough to do all the workouts in th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/01/26 05:29 PM |
| 2 | The road feels longThe “affairs are a result of unmet needs” line is bullshit and you are free to reject it entirely. The people who spew this are trying to protect the mental health of adulterers. People have affairs because they get a big dopamine hit from a new and taboo lust. They do it because they wanted to. You could have had an affair if you were a piece of shit too. You don’t have to compete with those feelings. There are women who are better than your ex in every single way who will be head over heels fo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/01/26 05:24 PM |
| 2 | Wife, soon to be EX wants to sell our houseIf you make more money you’re gonna get taken for a ride with everything from buying her out to your retirement to your alimony and child support to your time with your kids. My advice is learn the art of negotiation and strike a deal in mediation. They like to break all this stuff up into little pieces and give her the edge on every little piece. Somehow you should try to get her to agree to a reasonable settlement that gives you a good positive cash flow and a soft landing. It won’t go the way… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/01/26 05:54 AM |
| 3 | Wondering if I have a solid Legal case.Wow she refinanced her debt and put it into the house 3 months before filing for divorce? By my reading she did a cash out refi and paid off her debts. So she has used the equity in the house to pay off debts just prior to divorce? If a man did this he would be in trouble. This strategy seems pretty suspect to me. My counter strategy would be get all financial statements in discovery and do your homework. I would want to see how the $ split would look before and after this little bamboozle. If y… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/01/26 06:40 PM |
| 8 | Found the affair yesterdayWhen you get the courage to divorce her, have her served at work. Don’t even ask questions about the affair. Let her spend some sleepless nights trying to figure out how she got caught and how much you know. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/01/26 10:13 PM |
| 18 | Something I keep noticing about men in the middle of divorceLoss of money much more painful than losing bitchy entitled ex wife. The shock of how divorce laws actually work (no fault divorce, child support, alimony, asset division, parenting schedule) favoring women on every single issue is jarring. Then you find out pretty much everybody out there agrees with this bullshit because they haven’t had to write a check to their ex. It’s not just a betrayal from your ex. You quickly find our society is bullshit and no one cares if you’re homeless while your e… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/01/26 12:41 AM |
| 3 | Is it Time to Fire my Attorney?Then start all over with another delay? Naw id fork over another $600 for an appraisal. If it’s good for you present it at the next court. If it’s not good for you leave it out. At some point judge gonna take the midpoint of the appraisals. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/01/26 08:30 PM |
| 2 | Seeking advice on how to keep inheritance separate with divorce on the horizonDon’t mention it to your stbx and don’t commingle it. Even if you correctly get it as separate property, many states use an ‘ability to pay’ guideline for alimony. Get a lawyer to advise you now. Don’t say shit to your ex about it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/01/26 06:03 PM |
| 4 | Ex wants to meet upDepends how greedy she was in the divorce. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/01/26 05:59 PM |
| 12 | Divorce and Regret - Will she regret leaving?I’ll have to check out your vid just watched a bit. My 2cents 7 years out is I surely don’t regret the divorce nor do I wish she didn’t have an affair. I think full recovery comes when you see your new dreams and goals coming true. Then you dgaf about what she thinks about anything. The apologies (there were many, even in hand written notes), were hollow and worthless coming from a proven selfish liar. Only ‘apology’ I want is in the form of $$$. And we already know what our ex wives do with any… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/01/26 05:40 PM |
| 6 | Witnessing your own funeral.I made new friends at the local golf course. They didn’t care I was divorced and a bunch of them had been divorced years ago. My conclusion after 7 years is I don’t care about other people’s marriages. I’ve met plenty of happily married guys who play golf multiple times a week. I made a new rule, “I golf every Saturday no exceptions.” I would not want to be in a marriage where I couldn’t do that. I pity people in marriages where the bitchy wife calls all the shots. It used to be me and I’m glad … | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/01/26 07:31 PM |
| 1 | Advice on assetsShell out a couple hundred bucks for three lawyer consults and come well prepared with specific questions on asset split. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/01/26 06:13 PM |
| 1 | Should you sell the house before or after divorceHow much did prenup cost? | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/26 06:36 PM |
| 1 | Should you sell the house before or after divorceShe bought me out and I put every last red cent down on a newer nicer golf course house. She can live in the pos starter home with her boyfriend. I have a big shit eating grin when I ride my golf cart to the course and say, “good thing you had that affair you dumb sluey!” The boyfriend she moved in cheated on her and she stayed with him because he helps with groceries. Universe righted itself about 2.5 years after divorce. She got a sweetheart deal on the pos starter home but whatever I got out … | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/26 06:31 PM |
| 1 | Anyone else stick in a miserable job due to threat of alimony?I like his advice. Some people have much worse advice such as “I had to pay xyz so you should too.” In case you haven’t figured it out yet, she’s gonna tell everyone you’re an abusive deadbeat pos whether you pay $28k per month or live on a beach on the other side of the world. I paid up. If I knew then what I know now and used p2kat playbook, I would’ve done it differently. For one there are 1000 ways to move your money legally. People like you have us all scared like there’s a team of crack ac… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/26 07:04 AM |
| 3 | Colorado spousal maintenance help neededFlee the country and don’t pay | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/26 06:55 AM |
| 3 | Wife filed for divorce. Into 4th month.Get a wise male therapist instead | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/26 06:08 AM |
| 14 | I just realized I've been keeping score for years - anyone else?Usually we come to this conclusion after divorce when you spend 1/4 the energy and everything is running like a well oiled machine. Lot of our ex wives are just dead weight professional shoppers. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/26 03:43 AM |
| 1 | This Is how I deal with my EX calls and textsJust tell her you are switching to email only. “Please use my email address for all communications.” Then block the phone. I’ve been on this for 5+ years. Email only far superior in every possible way. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/01/26 07:38 PM |
| 8 | Teenage kids don’t like taking orders from their mom’s fiance.Sounds like the kids will want to live with you as soon as practical. A domineering step parent will be out of the picture one way or another in the long run. Can’t believe you’re getting hated on. If the stepdad wasn’t a loser he would be trying to have a happy household. They try too hard. Let the kids enjoy their youth they’ll be working a 9-5 like the rest of us soon enough. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/01/26 08:54 PM |
| 2 | How to forgiveI’ll tell you what brother if I wasn’t divorced I doubt I would be reading to her every night she’s with me and coaching her basketball team. Start thinking of ways to make it awesome!! | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/01/26 05:51 AM |
| 9 | How to forgiveYour premise is flawed. Your children can still thrive, and even flourish, after your divorce. Dwell on how to improve your life and your children’s lives. When you’ve accomplished that, you will not only forgive your ex, you will thank her for removing herself. I attained a lot more influence in my kid’s growth and development after divorce. Blaming my ex for any little problem with my kid would accomplish nothing. My ex is just a run of the mill thot. Why would I let that permanently harm my k… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/01/26 07:46 PM |
| 13 | The struggle between self and savior...She’s manipulating you again | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/01/26 06:04 AM |
| 1 | She made me feel like such a POSIn my opinion the best way to do this is have her served at work. Then ghost her except for matters pertaining to getting divorce. If she asks why, let her wonder what you know. Don’t reveal it. Something along the lines of, “the truth always comes out” or similar generic stuff to keep her off balance and confused. She’ll try to uncover how much you know. Don’t give her the satisfaction. If you talk to her parents just say I found proof she’s an adulterer. lol they can tell her why she’s getting… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/01/26 01:48 AM |
| 1 | Divorcing at 35, single dad with 2 little boys.Golf | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/01/26 12:50 AM |
| 13 | Need to ventIt’ll be ok man. Tell your son you love him and you’re proud of him often. They always move someone in immediately. It’s called monkey branching. Don’t take it personally there are plenty of fish in the sea and millions of them are better than your ex wife in every way. Your son only has one father and you are him. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/12/25 06:25 AM |
| 2 | Primary custodyI heard from 10 lawyers I had no chance. The circumstances were I’m a man and I make more money. On this sub all the primary parent fathers have ex wives who either went away on their own or their teenagers wanted to live with them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/12/25 10:25 PM |
| 3 | The flood of differant emotions is ridiculousThe lawyer who strings it out for 3 years is way worse than the one who gets it done quick even if you leave 10 grand on the table. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/12/25 10:07 PM |
| 1 | Terrified of divorceYou should be talking with a wise male therapist. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/12/25 07:24 PM |
| 1 | I don’t fight for relationships anymoreThe best thing I learned after divorce and tell women first thing, “I golf every Saturday morning, no exceptions.” The pleasant surprise is they respect a man who is not placating and being a good little house bitch. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/12/25 07:05 PM |
| 1 | Divorcing, shared care, but STBXW likely to push to stay in the house – can I keep it instead?I took the equity check and bought a much fatter nicer house. It’s great. My tip is negotiate the other end of the deal. Tell her you’ll buy her out 50% of the equity plus all costs associated with the refi (this big chunk of money is what you want in your equity check). She says no you say fine buy me out on same terms. You want a big fat check in 6 months. That is how you move on. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/12/25 07:02 PM |
| 1 | Custody Schedule AdviceMy 2c your schedule should accommodate three things in this order: 1) ability to provide for yourself and your children 2) ability to join a weekly hobby/group with friends 3) high quality time with your children. Some would say it’s selfish to put #1 first but if you’ve got a little money in your pocket and you’re in a good mood, parenting is much more enjoyable. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/12/25 05:55 PM |
| 5 | Need advice on a situationWow she tried bait and switch. You took the bait, let her get her claws in you, and here comes the switcheroo. I would break up with her. If you give a woman like this your freedom, you are asking for trouble. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/12/25 01:10 AM |
| 7 | This BS about how she grieved the marriage for a long time…The answer to the question, “how could she do this to me?” is simple. She did it because she wanted to. She lied about it to avoid consequences. Once you accept this simple explanation you can focus your mind on improving your life. In time you may view this as a good thing because it will force you to redesign your life. That redesigned life will be much better without nasty ex wife ruining everything. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/12/25 12:55 AM |
| 15 | Well, I WAS doing fine...ex wives write dumb shit like this whenever a stupid thought goes through their head. Just ignore it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/25 11:40 AM |
| 1 | Advice on What I should and can move after temporary orders requirement.Good question and good comments. I didn’t take my tools and you know the rest. I did fairly decent in my divorce but leaving those tools behind was a mistake. When I politely asked for them she gave me the old “Tools? What tools?”. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/12/25 07:48 PM |
| 1 | Wife asked for a divorce, how much do you think I’ll loose ?She’ll blow through the 401k cash in 6 months. She’ll live off alimony for 3.5 years and shack up with some loser. At year 5 she’ll quit her 2 month job at the grocery store and find some new sucker to pay bills. Meanwhile you’ll get 2 raises and do whatever you want. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/12/25 06:44 AM |
| 3 | Yesterday was a good dayMerry fuckin Christmas!! Love it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/12/25 02:50 AM |
| 8 | Please. Share your success story. You never know who needs it.I desperately searched for hobbies until I picked up a $120 starter golf club set from dick’s. Got 3 lessons. Now I’m a halfway decent golfer living on a golf course with a golf cart in the garage. It’s pure heavenly bliss. Met the guy who sold me my house in golf mens club. He took my list offer over higher offers. Coach my kids basketball team (undefeated last season) and life is wonderful. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/12/25 12:47 AM |
| 6 | This existence is profoundly absurd.Focus on good positive things that bring you joy. Search for silver linings. They are there. Rare chance to redesign your life. There are constraints sure but it will get better if you make it so. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/12/25 07:03 PM |
| 1 | 37M Phoenix, Divorce dragging on forever, need lawyer who actually gets shit doneGet a legal pad and write down your questions. Double check the answers and ask better more targeted questions. Example first consult you might say will I owe alimony, answer is it depends on blah blah blah. Second consult you say I make $85k she makes $65k and we’ve been married 4.5 years. Answer is file for divorce before it hits 5 years and don’t agree to alimony. Another example, will I have to pay for kids health insurance? Answer is yes and you’ll get a small credit on your CS. But next ti… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/12/25 07:18 PM |
| 1 | 37M Phoenix, Divorce dragging on forever, need lawyer who actually gets shit doneI had ten consultations ranging from free to $500. I knew my case inside and out and retained a lawyer for $6500 to just double check my proposals. 3 hours in a $500 mediation and it was done. Split a $750k marital estate with me getting all my terms around the edges. I completely agree with you the consultations are the best use of $$. You will learn everything about your case (best case, worst case, likely case). Then just push the likely case toward best case for the least amount of $$. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/12/25 06:51 PM |
| 1 | Help!Self improvement mission so you have all faculties operating at 100 while you decide what to do. Gym, diet, sleep, learning, hobbies, habits, growth. You may find changing yourself will change the relationship. It works a lot better than trying to get the other person to change and building resentment when it doesn’t work. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/12/25 06:46 PM |
| 1 | Awarded the house, but refinance short by 25kShop around more. Negotiate with ex wife on terms. If you sell and split you might have a chance at a better house and avoid this problem. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/12/25 06:43 PM |
| 4 | Please Help, I am BrokenTalk to 3+ lawyers. Pick the one who will help you and file for divorce. Send her parents your proof. Ghost her 99% with the 1% being about the kids. In two years you’ll be the happiest guy on the planet. Do not give your freedom away for another 5 or 10 years minimum. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/12/25 06:27 PM |
| 2 | A Long and Fruitless Journey to TrialSounds like predetermined result then backed into the justification. Did her law firm donate to judge’s election campaign? | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/12/25 05:57 PM |
| 3 | A Long and Fruitless Journey to TrialYet many many comments on this sub say, “fight for your kids even if you go in debt” and end up with this same result. Before I made any moves I analyzed this situation and said nope. I’ll either be an active involved parent with my preferred schedule or you can do it all on your own and see how much CS you can squeeze out of me from the other side of the country. In reality all I had to say was, “my turn to party you will watch the kid.” Kid was dropped off at my apartment in 15 minutes. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/12/25 05:55 PM |
| 1 | Decided to give the house to the Ex in the divorce6 months to refi is my suggestion. How you present this agreement will play a big part in whether it gets signed and executed. End of the day you just want a big check in 6 months. That’s what’s going to happen. Don’t make it harder for her to give you the check. For example, I referred her straight to my mortgage broker. He was happy for the business she was happy to not have to do any legwork. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/12/25 04:30 AM |
| 1 | Dive! Duck! Dodge! I'm running out of ways of avoiding this chick and her toxic bs.Damn my ex slapped me up a few times. I thought the cops would arrest me if she put on the water works. I moved out to a bachelor pad which was great fun. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/12/25 07:15 AM |
| 4 | Falsely a charged for assaultStart by deleting your Reddit. Get a lawyer this is called silver bullet method. Should talk to three lawyers minimum and pick the one who can help you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/12/25 09:55 AM |
| 2 | @ what point is an attorney worth itI’m not modding this sub I would go insane | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/12/25 09:30 AM |
| 2 | @ what point is an attorney worth itJust to add to the chorus here. I had no vehicle and the lawyer I couldn’t afford said, “buy a late model used car with $500 down. Pay it off when you’re divorced.” Such a simple suggestion. I got twenty more like that to get out of a way worse jam than you’re in. You’re in too deep buddy talk to the lawyers and find one who will help you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/12/25 04:47 AM |
| 2 | @ what point is an attorney worth itI would get out of it on grounds you will receive no future benefit for the education you have paid for. I got out of alimony on a much more difficult premise. Talking to the lawyers told me what words to use to get out of it. The mediator agreed and that was that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/12/25 04:45 AM |
| 3 | @ what point is an attorney worth itUpvoters for truth offers the best advice on this sub. Heed it. Your post contains many common errors. Stop the bleeding and retain that lawyer. Manage the case yourself but you need legal advice at a minimum. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/12/25 04:43 AM |
| 7 | Question for attorneys - why would you take an unethical case?Family court is a scam. Water is wet. The sky is blue. It is designed to be this way. Find law firm that donated to your judge’s re-election campaign for best results. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/12/25 12:23 AM |
| 2 | StatsA few more observations… the happiest I’ve ever seen my kid was when we went on a short hike. It’s free and kids love it. What you want to do is things like that, things that make them feel proud of themselves. I lay it on thick with the I love you’s and I’m so proud of you’s. Every night kid is with me we are saying prayers and reading in bed. If you think about it you would not get that awesome routine with naggy what’s her face spoiling all the joy. Coaching the sports teams was also my winni… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/12/25 06:04 PM |
| 2 | StatsYou will model resilience, joy, love and they will grow up in a very happy household. Stbx will do her own nonsense which you should not concern yourself with because you have new dreams and goals to chase. Dwell on those rather than common ex wife. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/12/25 05:33 PM |
| 5 | StatsI’ll pray for you buddy. Here’s something interesting, my prayers were answered to the letter. I’ve been divorced for 7 years. My life got 1000x better. I made my new household peaceful and joyful. It’s wonderful. When my kid is not with me I play golf, which is also wonderful. Good luck, imagine and dream about a new better life for you and your children. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/12/25 05:23 PM |
| 4 | Wedding ringEverything is negotiable in divorce | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/12/25 01:20 AM |
| 1 | Update to my divorce: Learning to live alone, helping the kids adjust, and mediation tomorrowShe is for the streets and the best thing you can do for your kids is make sure you have a nice cash flow positive situation after divorce. It’s needed to rebuild. I made cash flow my North Star and it worked. Reason it works is because you can stack chips faster. Within a few years of divorcing and paying off ex wife I socked away more money in retirement than ever would’ve happened if married. They all find some weird new boyfriend. Just remember you never have to sniff that stinky cooch again… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/12/25 10:40 PM |
| 9 | Tired of the gaslighting BSHire a house cleaner. Change your direct deposits around. Take a vacation solo. Next time she bitches and whines say my needs aren’t getting met so there will be some changes around here. If she files for divorce, good riddance. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/12/25 08:46 PM |
| 2 | Thoughts on SituationContinue doubling down on your self improvement mission. You’re investing in yourself. That will serve you well no matter what you decide to do. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/12/25 08:40 PM |
| 6 | The feeling of being replaced.The tried and true advice is don’t get so casual with her just stick to the parenting plan. I wouldn’t even pick the kid up at the house. Then you wouldn’t have seen the stocking or cared about it. There’s always going to be some new change to the house so just avoid it. Surely there is a more convenient way to pick up the kid such as school or grocery store parking lot halfway between the dwellings. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/12/25 04:56 AM |
| 2 | Mental healthIndeed!! Hang in there brother focus on self care and bring some joy into your life. My divorce cure was golf. It has all the elements (nature, camaraderie, exercise). Makes me so happy, so many new friends and the biggest belly laughs. Find something like that even if it takes a lot of trial and error. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/12/25 02:09 PM |
| 3 | Mental healthHappiness has a price it’s 60% of your current assets and 40% of your future take home pay lol | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/12/25 02:05 PM |
| 1 | Guys Who've Been Through Divorce: What Was the HARDEST Part to Get Used To?I hope you make new dreams and goals and make them come true brother. That part of it has been very rewarding for me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/12/25 05:59 AM |
| -1 | The stupidest bitch on the planetYou’d be singing a different tune if you had to pay a dime to get a divorce. When you’re the payee divorce is easy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/12/25 10:23 PM |
| 1 | It's only 4 hoursMy out of the box strategy to avoid misery and live an awesome life: I broke the “rules” of this sub. First I talked to ten top tier referred lawyers, several told me you can’t afford to retain me. Then with lawyers blessing and no custody agreement I moved out - avoided silver bullet and got away from cheater. Then I told cheater, my turn to party you will watch the kid. Kid dropped off at my doorstep in 15 minutes (reverse psychology works wonders in divorce). The laws in my state say CS is ba… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/12/25 07:47 PM |
| 2 | Am I lonely?As soon as I found the right hobby (golf) life got awesome and better than ever. It took me 100 different hobby tries to stumble into golf. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/12/25 07:24 PM |
| 1 | Strategy regretAgree w most of your analysis but father is NCP whether he makes more or less in reality. Mother is primary unless she gives it up or commits a felony. If she makes more the tptb will use new rules and guidelines like “stability” to make sure father is NCP. Source: US Census Bureau. They dress up the data to show pro single mom stats but it’s plain as day mom is primary parent unless she doesn’t want it or does something really stupid. With that in mind, I pay same CS but my ex wife takes the ki… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/12/25 09:20 PM |
| 4 | Ex-Wife Reaction to me datingRub her face in it and laugh and smile when you see her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/12/25 07:53 PM |
| 3 | Are You Remarried and Considering Divorce to be Closer to Your Kids?You have some difficult personal decisions. That said I stick to the divorce decree and there is very little fuckery. One clever move I made was ingratiating myself to ex in laws. It wasn’t hard and they love their grandchild and they won’t let my ex move. Since you moved away the ball is in your court. And yes if you move back you will get more time. I wouldn’t have even let my ex wife play with the decree. paid good money for it so it might as well stick. I do more like your ex is doing and sa… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/12/25 05:35 AM |
| 1 | Don’t see where I’m headed now-worried its just downhillGood advice as always. I would consider direct depositing paychecks into new personal account. Still pay the bills but stop paying for her nonsense. Instead maybe you go get a massage and a gym membership. She can have a cash allowance if she makes dinner. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/12/25 05:28 AM |
| 1 | Asked for divorce with two little ones, no friends to helpThese wives go psycho after they have kids. They got you locked down and get a check every month to leave. This dude could probably save his marriage since he didn’t do nuffin but knowing what I know now these dumb broads should be single moms. My ex used to act like this and then cheated on me. She was just run of the mill insecure and I didn’t have any stupid pics saved or anything. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/12/25 05:21 AM |
| 1 | Asked for divorce with two little ones, no friends to helpIt’ll be ok buddy this too shall pass. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/12/25 05:18 AM |
| 1 | Money questionAgreed don’t negotiate assets for CS. But there is a huge difference between a $1000 payment and a $600 payment. You can still negotiate to get the $600 payment. Not with assets but with credits for things like medical/dental/vision/daycare/extracurriculars. Your CS payment should be minimum amount required by law. There is plenty of opportunity to optimize it and have it hold up until your next calculation or huge raise. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/12/25 04:58 AM |
| 10 | Guys Who've Been Through Divorce: What Was the HARDEST Part to Get Used To?Dude is a sucker and will be gone before you know it. Then some other sucker will come into the picture. The longer they stick around the more pathetic. He just needs a single mom to help pay bills. No self respecting man would move in with a single mom otherwise. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/12/25 04:47 AM |
| 1 | Extreme Cruelty - No Fault StateBest course of action is to have absolutely minimal contact so she can’t gather more “evidence”. Everything you say and do will be used against you. Even favors. Talk to your attorney about a once or twice a week form email about seeing your kid if she withholds them. Other than that really no communication at all. Wouldn’t even go to pick up alone. Give her zero ammo whatsoever. Everything else will go through divorce in due time. If you have a brokerage account that isn’t splashed all over you… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/12/25 04:42 AM |
| 8 | Guys Who've Been Through Divorce: What Was the HARDEST Part to Get Used To?Obviously having to pay bitchy ex wife | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/12/25 03:59 AM |
| 1 | OpinionsIf you already raised him for 2 decades let it go. He’s aged out of CS and you won’t save any money from this whatsoever. All you’ll succeed in doing is impacting your relationship with your son. Your ex wife is a liar and a scammer, as are most of our ex wives. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/11/25 10:29 PM |
| 3 | My thoughts on Walk Away WivesI think most men here are shocked they get punished with their current assets and future income hacked for nothing other than being married. It has very little to do with being weak. Better, stronger, more handsome men than you or I have gotten raked way harder in divorce. It is natural to find the reasons why. In my experience in the long run her leaving was a great thing. Early days was hell. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/11/25 06:29 PM |
| 3 | Men who’ve gone through it all - what advice would you give yourself a year before this process started?Spend marital funds on personal stuff. Direct deposit your $$ elsewhere and get that surgery you’ve been putting off, teeth fixed, new clothes. Don’t be dumb about it just start funneling your money into your new life. Common misconception is you’ll get some discount or be treated fairly for continuing to waste money on your stbx wife’s shopping bullshit. Cut her dumb ass off asap to the maximum amount that doesn’t get you a huge penalty. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/11/25 05:20 AM |
| 4 | I caught my wife cheating and will divorce her in maybe a year, but have to pretend I don't suspect a thing.I gave my cheating ex’s dad a piece of my mind. They were saying her late model sedan was too small a few weeks after I caught her in an affair. He was a nice enough guy and obviously blood is thicker than water. Anyway he’s trying to tell me why she needs a new car. I saved that moment to eviscerate her. Said remember when we were setting up my daughter’s presents on Christmas Eve and your daughter walks in at 1am like a stuffed brood mare? I don’t owe her anything. Well anyway once I knew what… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/11/25 04:47 PM |
| 0 | Money questionIf she really wants to keep the house she can… as long as you’re retirement isn’t touched and you get out of alimony and your cs is credited for every single possible line item. Insurance, daycare, extracurriculars etc etc. She can keep that house if it helps your cash flow going forward. Guess what my ex did with the sweetheart home equity? Moved some scrub in a week a later and bought a new truck. If you think my situation is unique or my ex is greedy they all fuckin do this. I did get out of … | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/11/25 01:44 AM |
| 6 | Money questionIgnore the old song and dance about keeping the kids in the house as it’s better for them. It’s a scam. Nobody is best served by you living in the roach motel. You know what’s best for the kids? A dad who has money and knows how to manage it. If you give her a sweetheart deal on the house she’ll leverage it against you to reduce your parenting time and some scrub will be shacking up with her while you pay for it. No sweetheart deals on the house. Even if it means it has to be sold. They can go b… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/11/25 01:42 AM |
| 5 | Talking to the kids about the breakupI think the ship has sailed and whatever attitude they have toward you is teenager stuff. Work on the relationships in some other way. Telling them their mom was a thot does not enrich anyone’s lives. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/11/25 09:05 PM |
| 4 | How financial screwed am I?And here I thought this was a great post. Your open marriage sucks. Wow how shocking. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/11/25 10:25 AM |
| 2 | How financial screwed am I?lol this guy described all of our marriage bullshit very succinctly and comprehensively. No wonder he is rolling in dough. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/11/25 10:22 AM |
| 1 | Do you tell your boss when you were going through divorce?Cost me a promotion. Oh well that would’ve just made my child support go up. I wouldn’t tell the boss. I would mention it casually much later like, “oh yeah I got divorced last year.” | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/11/25 05:45 AM |
| 3 | Future of a seperated man with childNaw I just got on tinder and didn’t say shit about being a single dad. If they came to my bachelor pad I’d show them my decked out kids room and say she’s here half the time. Nobody ever had an issue with it in fact they loved it. I stayed away from single moms and found that childless women had no problem dating me. Of course I got buff and had my shit together. My bachelor pad was clean and nice. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/11/25 08:20 PM |
| -1 | Do you tell your boss when you were going through divorce?I wouldn’t tell your boss because there is no upside. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/11/25 08:15 PM |
| 3 | The truth is…Have her served at work | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/11/25 05:20 PM |
| 2 | Second divorce. Struggling and hurting. Would like some advice or thoughts.Why did you get divorced the first time? | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/11/25 02:16 AM |
| 2 | Need adviceWhat is the reason for the divorce? That home equity will help your wife and you’ll get maybe 1/3 of it in my exp. They’ll say well you have all this retirement and earning potential and we’ll lower your alimony to keep the kids in the house. Unfortunately this situation is not pretty for you and the lawyer consults will give you clarity. Personally I think the best solution for you and your children (I don’t care about your wife) is to somehow fix the marriage. I would go to wise counselor and … | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/11/25 05:17 PM |
| 1 | Need adviceI disagree. On that salary with 4 kids and a SAHM spouse of 11 years, I don’t think he can afford a divorce. There isn’t enough HHI to pay for two households. That is the limiting factor. When they impute her income to min wage it’ll knock off $50 from his support payment. He is likely looking at 3-5 years of alimony which will crush him. No way she can keep the house on a CS and alimony payment. He won’t have anywhere to live other than parents’ or camper once half his take home pay is sent to … | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/11/25 05:09 PM |
| 1 | What are the Consequences of Moving Out?You must get clarification from an experienced attorney in your area. And it’ll cost $$ to get that answer. I’d pay $1000 to have this answer locked down from 2 or 3 attorneys on consultation. That’s what I did and it was fine. I also got my equity check in one month after divorce finalized. That was a sweet deal that worked awesome for me. You need lawyer consults. Then make a plan. Negotiate like the next 10 years of your financial life is on the line because it is. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/11/25 07:19 AM |
| 1 | What are the Consequences of Moving Out?This one! Read it 20 times. I’ll try to put it another way. Quit saying “we” when you are thinking about this. There is no “we” anymore. You need to be laser focused on your own dreams and goals. Then sell her the settlement that makes that happen as a win win deal. It’s a sales job. Do not offer an inch without getting something for you in return. If she wants you out you say fine I need my equity check in 2 months. There are win win deals to be found. For example, you move out quickly you get … | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/11/25 07:14 AM |
| 3 | Alimony - what happens when you can't payProblem is there is no way to tell if you can’t or won’t. It depends where you are in the divorce, what negotiations have taken place, what dumb shit will they find in your bank statement or paystubs, and on an on. Advice would range from go talk to the court clerk yourself and explain the situation with some charm so she will help you on one end; move to move to Costa Rica on the other end. Cooler heads generally prevail “at the courthouse steps”. If the alimony payment is commiserate with the … | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/11/25 06:55 AM |
| 1 | Divorced dad of 2 in Washington stateBreakdown the finances for us. Do not dwell in a place without suitable accommodations for the children. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/11/25 07:23 PM |
| 4 | House feels heavyTransform one of the rooms into a badass man cave sanctuary. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/11/25 07:08 PM |
| 1 | Needing advice on finding a new friend group pre divorceJoin the men’s club at your local golf course. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/11/25 06:19 PM |
| 1 | Just a heads up men!Misdirection is a very effective tactic. I told my ex, my turn to party you will watch the kid. Kid was dropped off at my new apartment in 15 minutes. I call it game theory. One thing many need to figure out is their bitchy ex wife will do the exact opposite of what she thinks you want. You gotta sell it but it wasn’t that hard in my case. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/11/25 09:13 PM |
| 2 | Seeing my last name with her name I the mailAll good brother I’ve been there. Just make the time with your kids 10x the quality. It’s actually easier because now you know the time is precious and you have more energy to do enriching activities. Good luck brother this too shall pass just make the best of it and make it awesome. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/11/25 08:16 PM |
| 2 | I threatened to call the cops tonightThey probably would’ve taken you to jail | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/11/25 11:50 AM |
| 2 | Infuriated by family court, no fault divorce, and support paymentsDivorced dads don’t give a shit about your equivocations. We want our kids to be successful. We want to send them to college or whatever program they can chase their dreams. If dad makes less, he most certainly does not receive child support. What a lazy comment. You have some silly agenda that is easily swatted aside. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/25 10:16 AM |
| 1 | Infuriated by family court, no fault divorce, and support paymentsYou’re gonna be fine G. How long were you married? Don’t sign a bad deal. They will try to twist your arm. You will feel the pressure. At the end just get a better deal than worst case scenario and get it as close to best case scenario as you can. Despite what people will tell you there are no moral victories in divorce court. The only victories are long term cash flow positive and keeping your best long term assets. Don’t show your ex wife your cards. Her lawyer is an EXPERT in extracting your … | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/25 10:07 AM |
| 7 | Infuriated by family court, no fault divorce, and support paymentsYes in absolute terms there is nothing worse than abandoning your children. Problem is many good fathers get lumped in and treated like absentee fathers. Millions of good fathers in the US have been forced out of their home and only got to raise their kids every other weekend. Are you aware of that simple fact? Millions of women have not lost access to their children via court order. See my point? | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/25 09:57 AM |
| 2 | Seeing my last name with her name I the mailWell I’m here 5 years later I consider my comments community service lol. But after I got divorced I actually started doing community service which has been AWESOME. My advice is prioritize your physical health, keeping your job, mental health (doing things that bring you joy), relationship with your children, and managing your divorce paperwork in that order. Everything else is secondary to making sure you are healthy, you have work, and you’re raising your kids. I think you need to bring some … | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/25 09:03 AM |
| 7 | Infuriated by family court, no fault divorce, and support paymentsThat is a strawman argument. Millions of wonderful decent divorced fathers want nothing more than to spend every last red cent they have to enrich the lives of their children. The no fault silver bullet family kangaroo court laws are written so that child support (paid to mother, not child’s college fund) turns into the key leverage point in divorce. The ex wife by default holds the children as a ransom. I have plenty of time with my child and can afford my CS payment. My CS pays for my ex wife’… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/25 08:24 AM |
| 2 | Infuriated by family court, no fault divorce, and support paymentsYou got a sweetheart deal. Maybe you had a referred lawyer. Smart move. Not all are so lucky. The ex wife’s lawyer says “give us everything or else”. Most of our lawyers actually play along because it’s standard practice. Do you know how many fathers have every other weekend and a weeknight dinner? Do you think they are all bad? Better men than you or I get screwed out of their family, livelihood, and life’s work every single day. It’s shocking you would say well I escaped so you guys are bad. Y… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/25 08:06 AM |
| 17 | Infuriated by family court, no fault divorce, and support paymentsWell I’ve responded to a few child support advocates and white knights but I’ll give you my final screed on the matter. We were in marriage counseling for 3 sessions when I caught my ex wife in a 6 month affair. I thought it was the most ridiculous thing ever but the marriage counselor didn’t bat an eye. Everyone knew but me lol. My position was “let me get this straight, I make way more money even though we both work, I spend way less money, everything we have is due to my hard work, she can ha… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/25 07:55 AM |
| 8 | Just a heads up men!What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Sounds like they are desperate for leverage. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/25 07:48 AM |
| 4 | Infuriated by family court, no fault divorce, and support paymentsThey award the ex wife more nights so she gets CS. When it’s close, tie goes to the ex wife. It’s all about money. Sure there are more deadbeat dads than deadbeat moms. I’ll concede that. But tons of loving capable fathers get absolutely screwed in divorce court and you know it. Shit you probably advise the ex wives on how to do it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/25 02:07 AM |
| 2 | Infuriated by family court, no fault divorce, and support paymentsThey keep trying to say that men and women are treated equally in divorce court. It’s laughable. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/25 02:01 AM |
| 3 | Infuriated by family court, no fault divorce, and support paymentsJudge would tack on nominal fee that won’t be paid and send her home. In many places the man goes straight to JAIL at that hearing. Tell me how many women have been jailed for delinquent child support? | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/25 01:56 AM |
| 5 | Infuriated by family court, no fault divorce, and support paymentsIt’s all about $$$. And the child support laws that you think God wrote are written such that the person who is awarded custody gets the $$$. You’re equivocating of course. The reason that men don’t spend $50k-$100k contesting primary parent is because the 10 lawyers they paid $400 for a consult ALL told them, “you’re a father and you make more money. You will lose.” | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/25 01:38 AM |
| 9 | Infuriated by family court, no fault divorce, and support paymentsI’m the one who said fat discount and it’s obvious. Let’s say a man makes $60k his ex wife makes $40k. She is primary parent indisputably and automatically. Now when the ex wife makes $60k and the man makes $40k… the reverse scenario doesn’t happen. She still gets primary parent and at best the CS will zero out! Don’t believe me? Look closer. You can dig through census bureau to figure out who pays CS. It’s paid by men to this day almost exclusively… other than a couple women you know who hired … | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/25 01:29 AM |
| 0 | Infuriated by family court, no fault divorce, and support paymentsIf a breadwinner woman gets divorced today she does not get raked over the coals for a decade or two like men. You are simply misinformed. The courts will bend over backward to impute a man’s income for example. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/11/25 10:15 PM |
| 6 | Infuriated by family court, no fault divorce, and support paymentsWhen a woman makes more she gets a fat discount on every single line item and issue. Go look up how many women are paying CS or alimony. It’s incredibly rare. Of course you like these rules, they benefit you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/11/25 08:37 PM |
| 2 | Splitting a mortgage with new wifeIf she cooks and cleans and the prenup excludes alimony and his retirement… fair deal and a win win partnership in my opinion. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/11/25 07:44 PM |
| 3 | Reading this sub and other activities contributing to ruminationProgram yourself to do 50 push-ups in the morning before checking the phone. If you can’t do 50 start with 10, then 25, etc. It’ll make you feel good. It is normal to wake up feeling shitty. Do everything you can to start the day on a positive note. Dancing in the kitchen with music on while making a coffee and a bagel after pumping out a bunch of push-ups is like a secret life hack. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/11/25 06:38 PM |
| 7 | Seeing my last name with her name I the mailOh I see this is one of those posts. Carry on. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/11/25 11:52 PM |
| 6 | Seeing my last name with her name I the mailWhy did you move out and further from work? This isn’t amicable this is a steamroller. Do you have a lawyer? Sometimes moving out is the right thing to do. In your case it seems like a mistake. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/11/25 09:53 PM |
| 8 | Made the mistake of posting in the other sub. Coming here for actual support. What hope do I even have finding someone else at this point?One of the most succinct and comprehensive comments ever posted to this sub. I’ve been here since 2018 and this has got to be top 5 comment. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/11/25 07:34 PM |
| 1 | Co-Parenting AppsHi, I’ll just add my 2c that costs $0. You get some long diatribe email. Obviously you are already ignoring all personal attacks and nonsense. You don’t have to respond to the email right away. Let it marinate and come up with ideas and horse trades. The guidance is pretend the judge is reading the email thread. It’s very easy. You ignore every single thing in the email except that which you are court ordered to address. Become an expert in replying to these and they STOP. The idea is not to pun… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/11/25 06:13 PM |
| 3 | I want your advice - ex wants to charge me for rent, should i?Yeah you should have split the savings. What happened? | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/11/25 04:43 PM |
| 1 | Help me understand why my ex-wife cheated on meThe actual root answer is because she wanted to (in my opinion of course). | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/11/25 07:12 PM |
| 13 | Help me understand why my ex-wife cheated on meShe cheated because she wanted to. She lied about it to justify it. Don’t overthink it. You don’t want to be married to a disloyal, selfish, liar. It sucks we pay the price with no fault divorce laws but those aren’t changing either. What you can do is get buff, update wardrobe and hairstyle. Then things will fall into place and it will be better than your marriage. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/11/25 06:00 PM |
| 2 | Her room remainsTurn the room into a badass man cave and cut back on the ChatGPT therapy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/11/25 08:46 AM |
| -1 | I need to not be living at this house... how?If you go on a self improvement mission and do good healthy things for yourself, rather than try to convince her to see it your way, you might change the dynamic. In my experience, people don’t treat you better just because you insist on it. I’m not saying that will solve all your problems but I think a self improvement mission is your starting point. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/10/25 06:35 PM |
| 3 | I need to not be living at this house... how?You may not be able to afford to divorce. You certainly can’t afford to move out right now unless you can stay at your parents’ for free and continue paying all the bills at your house. Can you solve the problems at home? How untenable is the situation really? One thing I learned is if YOU change, people treat you differently. If you try to change other people, it fails. Just some ideas from the cheap seats. Clean your room. Leave her stuff alone but get your things tidy. Ease her out of this ho… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/10/25 06:20 PM |
| 8 | Moving on… (A rebound or a slam dunk…)The 21st century man that women want has a few attributes: - buff/jacked/ripped - stylish clothing and haircut - friendships and hobbies - is not available 24/7 and has a bit of mystery If there’s one thing I learned post divorce is that women will pursue you endlessly when they think other women want you. They will be banging down your door because you have self respect and don’t need them. The way you’ve described yourself is a recipe for more pain. You have a lot of working out to do, hobbies… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/10/25 07:20 PM |
| 2 | Holiday tips for first timers?Excellent advice!! Worked beyond my wildest dreams. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/10/25 04:17 PM |
| 1 | Holiday tips for first timers?Make it awesome. If you are in the pits and have nowhere to go celebrate, go volunteer at the soup kitchen, senior center, or youth jail. That would be the best holiday of your life I guarantee it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/10/25 04:14 PM |
| 3 | Just ventingMany more silver linings to come. Keep grinding. Make sure your comms are squeaky clean. Long term goal your nose should be so clean and your requests so lawful you can file a contempt motion on your own that gets granted. I guess I’m saying you have to be super dad father of the year and then the fuckery stops. That too will make your life even better. Dropping an extra $10k to then pay for a vacation might not be in the cards right now but if she keeps doing dumb stuff like this she’ll lose. O… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/10/25 02:41 AM |
| 7 | Family’s reactionYeah my ex carried on a 6 month affair so I divorced her. Early days I must’ve been painted as a monster or something. In the long run they figured it out. Best to just keep them out of your mind and make new social connections that enrich your new life. Found all the support and friendship I could ever need in the local golf men’s club. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/25 04:06 AM |
| 2 | Looking for a solid Illinois attorney—business owner getting steamrolledWhat a mess. I’m furious over this BS. All my tips are about how to get out of this shit before it happens. That’s why I tell people don’t be afraid to move out. The risks of staying are way way higher than specious ‘abandonment’ claims. That’s beside the point. My tips for you are double down on good healthy things. Get yourself healthy man. Every little healthy habit you can do. When things were bleak for me (nowhere near the level of your injustice), I turned to God and prayed. My prayers hav… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/25 10:40 PM |
| 3 | Co parenting with someone who thrives on conflict is exhaustingTwice a month not enough time for anything. Why on earth did you agree to this? | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/10/25 03:59 PM |
| 3 | Paternity Doubts ResurfacingMy 2c, since CS off the table let it be. The simple reason is it will not improve your life. In divorce every single move is about improving your life. That is the ticket out of divorce hell. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/10/25 12:11 PM |
| 8 | Ex wife crashed date with new woman.You live and learn. Get your divorce and living arrangements figured out. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/10/25 06:07 PM |
| 7 | I found out about the affair in one of the worst ways imaginableOpen and shut | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/10/25 01:56 AM |
| 1 | No divorce, just alot of blown cashStudy game theory to get creative ideas. Take the emotion out of the equation. You’re trying to optimize your likelihood of success. To do that you need to think very carefully about what you want your new life to be like. Dwell on it and imagine it. It’s a personal vision not a crowdsourced Reddit vision. An example of the personal nature of designing your new life. I am happier than most on this forum because I designed my parenting schedule around my work and leisure schedule. Same 3 days a w… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/25 09:27 PM |
| 2 | Divorcing abusive wife - last call for adviceRegarding the dogs if she knows this is the leverage point she will do anything to make you miserable. In my situation I knew my kid was the leverage point. I told her “my turn to party you can watch the kid.” Kid was dropped off at my apartment in 15 minutes. So if you want to keep your dogs make her think you want her to do all the care and expense. It’s delicate and the risk is she will have them put down. But again telling her all your leverage points just tells her where to put the squeeze … | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/25 06:35 PM |
| 11 | Divorce. Infidelity. I’m going crazyHit the gym and get buff. Imagine a new life filled with a new adventures and hobbies that bring you joy. Imagine an awesome weekend morning making breakfast for your kids then taking them out on some activity of your choosing. Make your new life better than your old life. Without having to placate nagging ex wife it won’t be as hard as it appears. Don’t believe anything she says about her romantic life. It will all be self servicing lies and equivocations. Just close the book on it, she’s gone … | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/25 05:56 PM |
| 4 | Am I wrong?Classic. Just tell kid the truth. Number of days on each holiday break are the same. Next year holidays will switch. Done deal. Finish it off with “I know it’s not exactly what we want but we’ll make the best of it.” Then do that. Actually you have handled this perfectly so far. Keep the days equal, follow the instructions on the court order, only haggle with ex wife if she’s being helpful. That is the only way to train an ex wife to be helpful. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/25 06:51 AM |
| 3 | Divorce has been one of the best things to ever happen to me.Wonderful | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/10/25 06:23 PM |
| 1 | Should file for divorce or wait for her to file ?Your lawyer gets paid more if she files. He has to review the petition. There goes your first $3500 of your retainer. The next $1500 vanishes into thin air with a couple useless emails. Frankly I wouldn’t hire a lawyer who says, “no advantage to filing first.” This isn’t someone who actually wants to help you get a decent divorce outcome. Likelihood of silver bullet divorce goes way down if you file for divorce. “Your honor, all these claims popped up for the first time after I filed for divorce… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/10/25 03:07 PM |
| 2 | When to stand firm on scheduling vs seeing kids more?Seems you should carefully and correctly document the time you have the kids so future modification is a slam dunk. Figure out how to document this in a way where you get whatever you want when the time comes. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/10/25 05:19 AM |
| 9 | The truth no one tells youI found one answer to the doom and gloom. I tell any dating prospect right from the jump: “I play golf every Saturday, no exceptions.” It’s my own self care regimen, also telegraphs I will take care of number one first and I have other pursuits than making her happy. They do not complain about it in fact they love a man with self respect. The trick is you have to set that boundary very early. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/10/25 05:11 AM |
| 1 | I walked away todayYeah that sucks. I had a cheating ex wife. I had to divorce her and bounce. Life is good now tho. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/10/25 04:18 AM |
| 1 | I walked away todayYeah I guess that was rude of me to make presumptions about a situation I know nothing about. The man pretty much always has to leave eventually. It can feel better to do so “voluntarily” before the sheriff comes. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/10/25 04:15 AM |
| 1 | I walked away todaylol how convenient for you | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/10/25 04:07 AM |
| 2 | Got everything figured out with Finance. We just disagree on custody.Your future income needs to secure you and your child a good life. Crunch the numbers hard. How long can you work 70 hour weeks? You need to strike a deal where you have a sustainable cash flow positive lifestyle. You can’t work 70 hr weeks just to scrape by for the next decade. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/25 01:55 AM |
| 6 | Ex-wife didn’t even have the kids call me on my bdayAnd very liberating. Just expect nothing at all and you will be pleasantly surprised sometimes lol. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/10/25 10:02 PM |
| 6 | Make Net Income Great Again!lol we get taxed and then we have to give what’s left to our ex wives. That’s after we pay the lawyers to push papers back and forth. Just have to laugh about how ridiculous clown world is. The lawyers are incentivized to “negotiate” until there is no more money. Can you get to the negotiating table yourself? Surely at this point you know best case, worst case, and likely case. Try to get to the negotiating table yourself. Then try to sell the your best case as a complete and utter loss and tota… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/10/25 06:58 AM |
| 2 | How long after divorce…An old man told me, “do not marry the first woman who gives you a bj.” | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/10/25 02:53 AM |
| 1 | How long after divorce…Are u a monk? | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/10/25 02:51 AM |
| 1 | My (24M) ex (29F) lied about being married and her sexual past. Are these signs of a manipulator, and should I ever consider a second chance?It could have been the ex wife of a thousand guys in this sub. Yes there are some absolute ghouls out there. Lesson learned move on. I wouldn’t date that old if I were you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/10/25 02:50 AM |
| 5 | My ex-wife went straight into dating appMy ex called me wailing that her boyfriend cheated on her. What goes around comes around. I said “sorry to hear that” and ended the conversation. She stayed with him lmao. Divorcing her cheating ass was the best decision I’ve ever made. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/10/25 08:47 PM |
| 3 | Divorce has made life quieter and more peaceful, but also a lot harderThat’s awesome man good for you. GREAT comment for this thread. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/10/25 04:38 PM |
| 5 | I’m honestly just angry now.Wow i have almost the exact same story but it took like 2 years to not be pissed about it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/10/25 06:25 AM |
| 3 | I’m honestly just angry now.My job sucks right now too. Just like divorce I have to change my habits, make the best of it, and make some tough decisions. I’ve been at my company for a decade so I don’t want to change but it looks like writing is on the wall and I hate the job and the boss hates me lol. But obviously the best answer for me is like be healthy, do my best, make good habits, and let the results shake out however they will. If shtf we don’t panic and we may even feel relief. I remind myself much better men than… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/10/25 06:22 AM |
| 9 | HostileHire a lawyer and serve her. Have her served at work. Operate with strength and conviction, not fear. If you are afraid of silver bullet divorce your best and only defense is file for divorce. You filing for divorce is your next best move. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/10/25 08:04 PM |
| 20 | I served my wife divorce papers while she was blowing her date in a carOutstanding! She will never forget it. Huge W. Mine was way less dramatic but still awesome. “We need to talk.” I know I know you’re going to file for divorce. “No, I FILED for divorce and I’m moving out tomorrow.” That was the precise moment I escaped from adultery. And it was just great. I cried tears of joy when I got into my empty apartment. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/10/25 07:57 PM |
| 7 | I served my wife divorce papers while she was blowing her date in a carAlways serve the papers if divorce is imminent. So many excellent reasons to be the plaintiff. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/10/25 07:53 PM |
| 6 | Alimony goes poofMost excellent | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/10/25 05:55 PM |
| 3 | Giving her back my wedding ringMine was worthless. Just tossed it in the backyard. Maybe she’ll find it someday lol | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/10/25 06:17 PM |
| 5 | Does this sound reasonable?Ask for her to pay half of the debt and then split half of the remaining savings on the grounds you paid most of the bills and couldn’t keep up with health and car expenses so you are now in debt. Then you two can negotiate downward. If you start at your best offer you will get 1/3 of it. I’d ask for half debt to be paid off and half savings after that. If it goes to court you have the stronger hand here. So use your leverage don’t give it away when you are in dire financial straits. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/10/25 11:56 PM |
| 16 | How to be the Other Man?The Other Man is any other bozo your ex wife gets a hard on for. The answer to your question is get buff and upgrade your hairstyle, wardrobe, and general appearance. The extended answer is you don’t want to be the other man. Married women looking for an affair are horrible and will bring you nothing but pain and misery. They are the bottom of the barrel. They are liars and users. Their husband might exact revenge on you up to and including death. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/10/25 11:52 PM |
| 6 | Successful DivorcePaying income tax on money you’re court ordered to pay to an ex is such a scam. Unfortunately all things CS and alimony are taboo topics. Nobody cares until they are in the crosshairs (myself included). | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/25 05:11 PM |
| 5 | Successful DivorceYou make the best of it and improve your life and the lives of your children. In my experience it’s been great to have some free time and then be dialed in and happy when parenting. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/25 04:41 PM |
| 10 | Successful DivorceI would love to get a check for $2k every month. What a sweet setup. Nobody cares until they have to pay. Oh yeah and if you’re the breadwinner wife you get a fat discount. Ever hear about the breadwinner wife being forced to move out to the roach apartment? Never happens. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/25 04:38 PM |
| 11 | Successful DivorceI pay $800 CS. Turns out ex wife was spending way more than that out of our “joint” account. Somehow I’m able to contribute more than that to retirement account which I could only afford to fund after divorce. I even hired a house cleaner and was able to take three golf vacations a year. So where was all the $$ going? Certainly not to maintaining the household despite what you will hear. If you have a spendthrift spouse taking your checking account down to $0 every paycheck, it is not cheaper to… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/25 04:33 PM |
| 3 | Ex family.I’m 7 years out from divorce hell. Eventually I came to the conclusion that although I wasn’t happy with them during the divorce, there was no universe where they would take my side, even if their daughter had an affair. Once my life improved I came to realize that grandparents are a gift and I would be a fool to negatively impact their relationship with their grandkid over some standard thot ex wife. It didn’t happen overnight but now we are on friendly terms. I can run into them without gettin… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/09/25 10:23 AM |
| 6 | Divorce Woman Effects on Married WomenThey can raise cats together and the husband can play even more golf. Win-win. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/09/25 02:34 PM |
| 3 | Thanks for the support and you can do it to!Good report brother | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/09/25 03:48 AM |
| 3 | After thinking about it for a few months, I got a lawyer.At a minimum you need limited representation so you can file the correct discovery motion. Then you review pay stubs and account statements. You are looking for withdrawals and transfers to some unknown account that she would not disclose otherwise. The formal discovery motion may get her to list all accounts, balances, and statements. That would be great and much better than “trust me bro”. However the only way to find a hidden account is to go through those statements and pay stubs looking for… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/09/25 06:22 PM |
| 4 | Update to my previous post of my wife taking off…Yes with just a name. In my case lawyer printed it out rap sheet right at the initial consult and said, your kid won’t be around this guy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/09/25 02:31 PM |
| 8 | Update to my previous post of my wife taking off…Operate with strength and conviction, not fear. TPO’s with no evidence is 18 months of bs then you get your kids back. Quit calling and texting. Move to email. Ask lawyer what form email you can send out twice a week asking when you’ll see your kids. Don’t email about anything else. How did you get ordered out of the house already? Might be worth it to expose the affair to the court for one reason only: to show where these fabricated claims are coming from. If you present it in such a way to sho… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/09/25 02:19 PM |
| 2 | CA RSUs granted before marriagePar for the course. My accountant knew more about RSU’s and divorce than any of the dozen lawyers I talked to. The accountant gave me the best divorce advice I received: everything is negotiable in divorce. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/09/25 09:57 PM |
| 2 | CA RSUs granted before marriageI settled this in mediation which was rubber stamped in WA. The rule appeared to be rsu granted during marriage is marital. But even the lawyers had no idea. Now guess what, these were showing up on my W2 so that is income no matter what. Guess what my CS payment was gonna be for IPO rsus making it look like I earned $500k per year on my W2. I said calculate my CS wages at my salary and I will give you half the stocks granted during marriage upon sale after withholding 15% off the top for taxes.… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/09/25 09:27 PM |
| 2 | CA RSUs granted before marriageSo lucky you are only married for 12 months. You’ll be fine. Get this shit over with asap. Use game theory and just get out at lowest total cost. You hold all the cards but she can make this shit nasty. In your situation, I might pay her $5000 extra to GO AWAY. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/09/25 09:21 PM |
| 10 | She would have gotten half of the money, so she should also get half of the debt.We are lucky to get out of there with 40% of the assets and 60% of the debt. It’s a scam. Lawyers’ favorite line: “u cAN aLWayS mAke mOre mOnEY.” Men get fcked in divorce unless they are extremely shrewd and keep their cards close to the vest. Game theory says pay your ex wife off with the same or better deal you would get in court including legal fees. The faster you acknowledge there is nothing fair about it and you get reamed for having a pair of balls, the sooner you can make better game the… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/09/25 08:36 PM |
| 4 | Anyone else feel trapped and have advice?Get your ducks lined up and bounce. Do some Dave Ramsey stuff for financials. It will be painful in the short term. You need a place to live. Run the numbers and make it happen. If you have to wait out a lease or something start decoupling your finances and taking care of business. If there is nothing or little to divide you can find a cheap way to get a divorce. Short marriage no kids plus no sex plus you’re doing all the housework and she wants an open relationship. GTFO. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/09/25 10:23 AM |
| 1 | Ex is contentiousReverse psychology, lowballing, misdirection, pandering, horse trading, bluffing, leveraging, etc. Sprinkle these in with perfect timing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/09/25 07:58 AM |
| 1 | Ex is contentiousNobody cares until it happens to them. Plenty of blissfully unaware married guys in the divorce pipeline right now. We usually think “Those rotten divorced guys did something bad to deserve their fate. My wife would never.” Right up until the very end. They won’t listen until they first learn about the divorce laws. What a bad day that is. I still shudder thinking about the day I learned how screwed I was for the mistake of marrying a thot. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/09/25 07:49 AM |
| 3 | Wife left me todaySheesh every time I read amicable on here my spidey senses tingle and I just think, “withdraw half the cash, redirect paycheck deposit, get your computers and documents out of the house, change your passwords, and be in a lawyers office all within the next 8 hours.” It’s the code word that massive fuckery is already afoot and she is actively swindling you, all while you’re in LaLa land about the reasons for the supposed amicable divorce. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/09/25 08:58 AM |
| 3 | Question about communication. Ex wife continually call my kids when they are at my house for the weekIf they are otherwise well behaved and getting good grades and have good routines, I would leave it alone. If they are missing the bus and showing up tardy to school I would say no phones until you’re ready for school. The night time phone call at a reasonable and convenient time sounds fine. If the calls were at an inconvenient time you can just make a house rule: phones away from 730 to 8 when we sit down and eat at the dinner table together. You’d have to make dinner and get them to help set … | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/09/25 11:27 AM |
| 2 | Negotiation tips/guidelines?You’re writing as if she will negotiate in good faith and actually make concessions all while you restart your mortgage at a higher rate and payment. She walks off with tax free money. When you think about splitting equity in the house, take all the fees from refinance right off the top. So if the refi costs you $10k that comes right off the equity number. Low ball the equity number. Find and invent problems with the house. Have a realtor do a market analysis and have the refinancing company do … | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/09/25 03:15 AM |
| 7 | Getting a GAL was the wrong call.For the men saying the GAL was horrible. Did you suck up the the GAL? Seems that would work. Just curious. I did everything I could to stay the hell away from “family court”. Just paid off ex wife and used reverse psychology to get my preferred parenting plan. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/09/25 08:53 PM |
| 23 | 8 years together and suddenly I discovered her serial cheating. Her lack of effort to hide things hurts more than the cheating itself. (Long rant and trigger warning, it’s Very cruel cheating)Haters gonna hate but this is how I discovered the red pill. Doesn’t have to be all evil. Final analysis women do not respect nor are attracted to nice guy provider doormat types. They marry them but you don’t get what you want from the relationship. The book No More Mr Nice Guy describes the dynamic that you and I and most of the devastated guys on this sub fine themselves in. It’s red pill lite not some Andrew Tate Lamborghini stuff. Get buff, update wardrobe, improve your appearance, live hap… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/09/25 07:03 PM |
| 1 | Well, it happenedYou’re gonna be fine G. A lot of us stare at this same decision with massive financial implications. If I were you I would want to be married to someone who loves me and has my back in good times and bad. It’s rare. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/09/25 06:57 PM |
| 1 | Well, it happenedThat is good news for you. Do you have kids? Here is what you should do no matter what. Go to gym, get buff, update wardrobe, get a stylish haircut (not great clips), fix bum knee or get Invisalign or both (no idea what health procedures would improve your life). Focus on your health and fitness including sleep and other habits. Once you’re cranking out 50 push-ups first thing in the morning everything in life just seems to work out. A self improvement mission works for every issue you will ever… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/09/25 06:45 PM |
| 3 | Well, it happenedSeparation is final in my opinion. Probably has a new dude lined up. Get your finances in order. Hire a lawyer. If you stay together for some reason get a post nup so you don’t have to do this separation divorce shit again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/09/25 06:36 PM |
| 1 | How do you handle your own birthday?Why wouldn’t you tell the kids Friday is my day and I would like a handmade card from each of you? | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/09/25 04:50 PM |
| 3 | Does it get easier?No fault divorce laws make it so the new guy doesn’t have to provide anything. Once she has secured enough assets via length of marriage she can also just find some random bad boy and ex husband finances the whole thing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/09/25 04:21 PM |
| 7 | Does it get easier?Yes go to gym get buff update wardrobe and haircut. Might even get you a raise at work. Ex wife and divorce will be old news and many fine women will want a shot at the champ. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/09/25 05:15 AM |
| 3 | Any of you lost step children in the divorce?After reading this thread, I think I’m going to go out and find a nice single mom, pour my time and money into her offspring, talk shit about the bio dad, and be the worlds best stepfather. If she suddenly decides she doesn’t want to be married anymore, I will rely on all the goodwill I built with her offspring to maintain a lovely relationship. Probably even walk the kids down the aisle at their weddings. They will be sure to thank me for being the worlds best stepdad, much much better than the… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/09/25 10:41 AM |
| 2 | Realizing ive been making child support bank transfers to ex and realized I should have been making them through the Child support enforcement agency. If I start making payments through the agency, will they make me start from the date the court order was made?In the US it’s usually split by proportion of income after the father has paid CS. CS is also paid in after tax dollars by the father and received tax free by the mother. Obviously I agree with the commenter who thinks it’s a scam. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/09/25 09:58 AM |
| 3 | Realizing ive been making child support bank transfers to ex and realized I should have been making them through the Child support enforcement agency. If I start making payments through the agency, will they make me start from the date the court order was made?CS does not cover daycare expenses in most cases. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/09/25 09:50 AM |
| 3 | Realizing ive been making child support bank transfers to ex and realized I should have been making them through the Child support enforcement agency. If I start making payments through the agency, will they make me start from the date the court order was made?Limit their work time during schooling hours? What are you talking about? | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/09/25 09:39 AM |
| 2 | I remember getting conditioned to look at Divorced men as “strange”I disagree too. If I am indentured to work to pay child support I will be happy that the mom is doing the nannying. I will use my free time to play golf so I have the energy to work my job and care for my kid. I have found being a divorced dad allows you to parent much better because there is no meddling nag to dictate the schedule healthy routines. I would describe it as “making the best of it.” That has been a most fulfilling journey much more fulfilling than marriage to common gutter thot. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/25 04:33 PM |
| 3 | Rebuilding seems impossibleMen’s club at your local golf course | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/25 12:29 PM |
| 3 | To my heartbroken brothers, if your father is still alive. Please be beside him.Playing golf with mine on Saturday for the 20th time this year. Only picked up golf when I discovered ex wife in an affair. So glad she had that affair now I live on a golf course and play all the time. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/25 03:53 AM |
| 5 | Unhealthy anger towards seemingly happy married couples nowGo to counseling, hit the gym, pick up golf, get a stylish new haircut (not great clips), update wardrobe, eat healthy, get in the best shape of your life. You’ll be swimming in way better poon than your ex wife and you’ll be the happiest guy on earth. It’ll even get you a raise at work. Someday you’ll want to thank what’s his face for getting snake out of your life so you can redesign it on your terms and make it awesome. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/25 03:50 AM |
| 15 | Did any of you guys get cheated on by a wife who genuinely, truly seemed to regret it?I got a bunch of crocodile tears and apologies. In my opinion it was just because divorce would make her struggle financially. I moved onto the golf course, have a hotter gf, and have more money. I am glad she had the affair in year 7. Got to divorce her with a clear conscience. She’s still in the starter home living with a different dude (not the AP). She called me crying about how he cheated on her. But she stayed with him. Train wrecks gonna train wreck. My daughter is happy and healthy so I … | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/09/25 06:36 PM |
| 6 | For those that were betrayed….How long did the shock take to wear off?When I started dreaming about making my life better and actually doing the things that needed to be done. Like going to the gym. Doing yoga and breathing exercises. Eating healthy. When you are on your self improvement mission and you see results you will feel a lot better. Realize it is her character flaw not yours. It helped me when I realized this has happened to better men than me. It took a few years but my life did indeed get better. To a point where I am happy she had that affair because … | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/09/25 02:23 PM |
| 2 | The real fight in divorce isn't about the money or the blame. It's the internal shit no one talks about.Yup with a kid it’s nice to have free time and then energy for quality time. There is no sugarcoating a court ordered support payment because your ex spouse was a thot. The mental gymnastics people use to pretend child or spousal support are inalienable God given rights is infuriating. If you talk long enough women will claim they are owed support for putting up with their ex husbands. It’s a bullshit scam but nobody cares until they become a payor, myself included. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/09/25 03:40 PM |
| 5 | Found out my wife hasn't felt the same for a year, devastatedYes a self improvement mission is your ticket. Gym, stylish haircut (not great clips), update wardrobe. Get a hobby that fills you with joy (mine is golf I started it when I found out ex wife was having a full blown affair). I wasn’t interested in it until I tried it out. It was my 500th attempt. Yours could be fishing, bowling, biking, hiking, hunting, music, art, gardening, dancing; a million things that you can fall in love with. Smothering her won’t work; my reading is you’ve become a good h… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/09/25 05:02 PM |
| 3 | Silver lining was that I have become more courageous in life. How has the divorce affected your character?I play golf every Saturday no exceptions. If you don’t like it gtfo. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/09/25 04:55 PM |
| 2 | I hate that men call victims of cheating “cucks”Agreed | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/09/25 04:29 PM |
| 2 | I hate that men call victims of cheating “cucks”Statistics from census bureau | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/09/25 03:20 PM |
| 1 | I hate that men call victims of cheating “cucks”Either way you get paid on your way out the door. That is the true difference and why we need a divorce sub just for men. If you had to write a support check after betrayal you would lose your fuckin mind. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/09/25 03:01 PM |
| 2 | I hate that men call victims of cheating “cucks”Getting cucked has sucked since the 13th century! And RP is the cure if you have an ounce of discernment. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/09/25 02:59 PM |
| 7 | I hate that men call victims of cheating “cucks”Look up the etymology, origin, and meaning of the word. You are mixing the fetish meaning with the dictionary meaning. Sure the meaning of words can and does change but this word literally means a husband of an adulteress. There is a solution to that problem… And no I don’t agree that some circumstances require you to stay with a cheating wife. That is just a man who lacks imagination and courage. Some people derisively use a word that hurts your feelings, get over it. And if you are whining tha… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/09/25 02:57 PM |
| 3 | Be careful. In laws are aware of their daughter’s intent to profit of ill gotten gains at the expanse of husbands.The ex wife lies to her parents about you. It’s very simple and easy. The parents believe their child. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/09/25 03:06 PM |
| 9 | Ex wife’s new contact name. Need ideas!Scam Likely | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/08/25 03:34 AM |
| 3 | I hate this shit.Lots of people get new beginnings and wonderful times after divorce. Hang in there buddy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/08/25 03:28 AM |
| 9 | How did you make sense of her walking away after years together?Bro a lot of our exes are cartoonish villains. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/08/25 06:04 PM |
| 2 | How bad is the Dissomaster screwing you over?Checking in from the golf course big bro granted this advice is not for everyone. When I was 7 years married at 28 and making 100k with 350k showing up on my w2 I had to use game theory to get out alive. It worked and this sub helped me in many ways. Especially these dumbass posts that said “it happened again”. I just post to tell some dads how to escape with a little money in their pocket for a nice place to live while they build a new life. And yeah I made a stupid one minute apology that save… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/08/25 06:39 AM |
| 3 | Im in shock, in survival mode. In limbo, wife mulling divorceYes we agree. Do you agree getting buff, updating wardrobe, and updating haircut are not only divorce cures but will also get you a raise at work and ease your long term divorce struggles? | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/08/25 06:30 AM |
| 11 | Im in shock, in survival mode. In limbo, wife mulling divorceMy ex did this same shit when she started an affair. The kid was 18 months old when she started the affair. She’s gross and I’m glad I divorced her. She also got all hot for me when I divorced her. Best way to win her back is become scarce at the house and hit the gym hard. If you get the divorce it’s the same course of action so just start now and get buff. Once other women want a shot at the champ your ex will be begging to suck your duck. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/08/25 04:33 AM |
| 1 | Wife cheated during separationlol you think it’s ok for people to commit adultery and then get alimony? I’m thinking of moving in a nice golf area of SC now that I know they don’t hand out alimony like they do everywhere else. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/08/25 03:06 AM |
| 2 | Husband wants a divorce, I'm 32 F with three kids, am I dateable after this?Yes just have a glow up and live an awesome life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/08/25 02:44 AM |
| 3 | How bad is the Dissomaster screwing you over?Negotiate from position of strength. Not in writing but telegraph the terms of the divorce will be acceptable or you will not participate in child rearing nor paying. The only way to sell this is to mean it. For example if you want 50/50 just do not budge and say I’m going to be an active father with acceptable living conditions to help raise our children and here’s how much that costs with a few nice apartment rates and a complete budget. Everything is negotiable in divorce. Other ideas, one mi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/08/25 12:19 AM |
| 7 | Men that were cheated on- How on earth did you ever regain your sexual confidence?Go to the gym and get buff. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/08/25 07:48 PM |
| 10 | Anyone else ever feel like they just want to punch the AP?No because if you stay out of jail you would have to punch every male between the ages of 21 and 63 in your county. There’s always gonna be some other dude just get over it and get a hot new girlfriend. The best way to deal with this is become the man you want to be and make your dreams come true. Your life will be awesome and you will thank her for removing herself while you have a clear conscience. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/08/25 07:21 AM |
| 1 | Wife cheated during separationThis is correct but there may be a moral duty to inform the other betrayed spouse. Part of recovering from this shit is living a good life where you do the right thing. I vote give it a year then anonymously give the other betrayed spouse the receipts so they are not fooled longer than necessary. For example if you’ve been fooled the excuse of bystanders that is none of my business is extremely painful. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/08/25 05:13 AM |
| 3 | Schedule changes and pettynessNo I never play this shit. When she took the kid on vacation you were supposed to schedule your own vacation with the kid same length. Never ever allow her to have some free pass to shuffle the kids to you. Some may disagree but since we pay the CS she is the nanny, never the other way around. Call me a jerk idc. We get plenty of time with our kids, we paid good money for that parenting plan, and we pay good money for her to nanny. If she was paying me I would be more accommodating to being flex… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/08/25 02:42 AM |
| 11 | Wife cheated during separationWait until you get your check. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/08/25 02:37 AM |
| 12 | Going to start my divorceHard to believe but it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Took longer than I would’ve liked and there were some hellish days and months in there. I would talk to a counselor to get it off your chest. Then try to drum up some lawyer referrals. Operate with strength and conviction not fear. Do not believe a word that comes out of that liar’s mouth. From here on out this is about extracting yourself from a business deal gone sour. Use your wit and composure to get out with as much current… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/08/25 10:26 PM |
| 2 | WwydCorrect | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/08/25 01:49 PM |
| 3 | So, like, what’s the point of any of this? What if self-contentment is not possible?You can volunteer and mentor. Sit down and write down your talents you can share with the world. I coach kids basketball and it brings me tons of joy. When I’m not doing that I play golf and befriend everybody. Other ideas soup kitchen, teach a community college class, volunteer to clean up parks, etc etc there are one million ways to find a new better purpose. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/08/25 01:48 PM |
| 3 | Fear and anxiety over futureTry light yoga and stretching with breathing exercises at 8pm sharp. Read a good book with a cup of tea until you zonk out at 9pm sharp. Wake up at 5am and go for a jog. Throw in a quick yoga stretch and work your way up to 50 push-ups in one go. Develop some healthy habits and you will find yourself feeling great in 2 weeks. You just have to do it. If you are feeling anxiety or on verge of a panic attack look for guided meditation on YouTube. Motivational speeches on YouTube when you don’t feel… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/08/25 01:44 PM |
| 6 | Men who went to therapy during or after the divorce. What did you learn?Breathing exercises to curb anxiety. Letting go. Practicing gratitude. Healthy lifestyle. Building a life by design. The purpose of life. Fatherhood tips. Much more. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/08/25 05:15 AM |
| 1 | Male of female lawyer?I used reverse psychology and thought really hard about my new life. Told ex, “my turn to party you’ll watch the kid.” I didn’t write this I said it. Kid was dropped off at my apartment in 15 minutes! As for the overall schedule, in my state CS only about income not parenting schedule. I thought hmm I have to work on these days and I want to play golf on these days, I’ll watch kid 3x a week. Note you must have a relocation clause if you have less than 50/50 or they will move the kids away from y… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/08/25 02:57 AM |
| 4 | Male of female lawyer?Let her think she won the divorce. Say whatever you need to say, write whatever gay text, something called a one minute apology where you can just lie through your fucking teeth if that saves you $1000. It’s easy to see divorce as an existential crisis where your identity is on the line. From 30,000 feet it’s just a high stakes game. In 5 years you won’t give a shit about the dumb stuff your standard bitchy ex wife did or thinks about you. You would rather be able to take a nice vacation, live l… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/08/25 11:11 PM |
| 2 | Male of female lawyer?Fathers rights law firms are useless with one exception: if the firm donates to your judge’s re-election campaign, you have a small chance. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/08/25 10:47 PM |
| 9 | Male of female lawyer?Here’s a a pro tip from the divorce expert manual. Gender doesn’t matter. Trust matters. Lawyers aren’t trustworthy with one exception: when they are trying to impress someone influential. I got THE CORRECT divorce advice in consultations that were either free or a couple hundred bucks. Same divorce as everyone else. Breadwinner with young child. Now I had this wealthy sister in another state whose spouse’s parent was a lawyer. That lawyer asks the former head of my state bar association for ref… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/08/25 10:42 PM |
| 2 | Beneficiaries after DivorceAfter divorce you can put a sibling or parent as beneficiary at no cost. Then just tell them to pay for your kid’s college or whatever. If the beneficiary is your minor children, your ex gets the check. If you have a lot of dough you probably need a financial planner or a trust or something. A condition of many divorces is to keep the ex wife as the beneficiary of the life insurance… so I wouldn’t say or change anything at all about this during the divorce. And don’t agree to that either. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/08/25 12:40 AM |
| 1 | Scarily accurate nightmare…Bwahaha | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/08/25 10:10 AM |
| 2 | Is it normal to feel like your ex is scheming somethingThe big plot to look out for is relocation. I had to learn the big factors to get a relocation denied. I set it up so any relocation proposal would be dead on arrival and it didn’t happen (yet). In general, “significant change of circumstances” and “best interest of the child” are the principles at play for any schemes and plots. Focus your efforts around your case addressing those principles. For example, your child should be healthy and get good grades. You should be heavily involved in all th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/08/25 06:16 PM |
| 9 | DumpedAfter divorce getting dumped is the best thing ever. I love getting dumped lol you don’t even have to pay them to leave. Take it easy on yourself bro there will be many fine women who want a shot at the champ. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/08/25 06:13 AM |
| 1 | She used to take my breath away, now she takes the wind out of my sails...My advice would be try to make the marriage wonderful some how some way thinking outside the box with creative ideas. Not just to avoid the financial hit but the 10,000 other problems divorce creates. If she ain’t cheating she’s 1000x better than most of our ex wives. Just my 2c. I don’t believe there’s some other perfect woman out there who won’t annoy the shit out of you and kill your buzz after spending a decade together. If you turn the problem over and really look at it from a bunch of diff… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/08/25 06:02 AM |
| 2 | We signed custody at 50/50. She's hinted at trying to make things difficult down the road. How do I protect myself now?Unfortunately I regret this comment. We are all human beings, make mistakes, etc. For the OP I would look into the concept of atonement. I hope you learn from this and move on and I wish happiness to you, your ex, and your family. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/08/25 04:29 AM |
| 2 | How to deal with pending divorceExcellent comment. I would file for divorce and make new living arrangements ready for when I return. Texting some chode 40x per day is not good news. My advice is consider the marriage over. This looks like an affair to me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/08/25 06:07 PM |
| 2 | How to deal with pending divorceWonderful comment bravo. Do not take her shit personally! | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/08/25 06:02 PM |
| 7 | Just found out I was the side guyOne thing that has worked very well for me is never ever lead with my wallet. Doesn’t stop you from running into these liars that are already in full blown relationships but it’s way better to link up with women that are just attracted to you for your good looks not your $ | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/08/25 05:49 PM |
| 10 | We signed custody at 50/50. She's hinted at trying to make things difficult down the road. How do I protect myself now?You had an affair and blew up your family. What you thought this shit would be easy? No tips for you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/08/25 05:42 PM |
| 2 | Ex's new boyfriend is starting to spend time with my 6yo.Well it’s obvious but we have some stepdads in the chat wrestling with their identity. The only thing i know about stepdads is they’ve usually been lied to about the real dad. I think they are foolish for targeting the real dad as some sort of villain when it was their own WIFE who willingly had his babies and then somehow he became this deranged monster. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/08/25 06:46 AM |
| 12 | WTF is happening ?Gym, diet, sleep habits. Stay the course big bro everything coming up aces for you. Get off Reddit for a week it’s basically an anxiety inducing machine. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/08/25 05:00 AM |
| 0 | Ex's new boyfriend is starting to spend time with my 6yo.Who said anything about competing with the boyfriend? Of course the child will choose their real dad over the next sucker that shacked up with their mom. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/08/25 03:19 PM |
| 1 | Kinda of a scary/momentPrayer is extremely powerful. My prayers were answered to the letter. Pop open the Bible and find out what you should be praying for. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/08/25 07:13 PM |
| 1 | Mindset…Dwelling on that thought. Thinking very deeply about what kind of person you want to be. Then taking ownership of your life and improving your station in life. We have got to get out of divorce victimhood. Cannot linger there. Making the next best move. Thinking very hard about the habits and behaviors that will get you to your goals. Dreaming big. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/08/25 06:16 PM |
| 2 | Mindset…Be the man you want to be. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/08/25 05:11 PM |
| 2 | I knew what I signed up forI get why you might think rp is bad. I think it been hijacked by clickbait pick up artists. Just my opinion, when you look at it as a description of modern dating and relationship reality and be judicious, it’s not bad. The things I took my rp research, 80% of women married or not are seeking the top 10% of men. To me rp haters get in this victim mentality where they refuse to level up. Just by going to the gym, getting buff, getting a stylish haircut and wardrobe, you immediately level up. Gues… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/08/25 05:08 PM |
| 15 | Ex's new boyfriend is starting to spend time with my 6yo.It’s a wake up call that you need to step up your dad game to level 1000. Teach the kid to swim and ride a bike. Read to the child every night without fail when they are with you. Get them ahead in school by teaching them. Set up healthy routines. They are difficult for one week then it’s just the way it is. The happiest my kid has ever been was when we went on a hike and had a picnic. My best move was coaching the sports teams. You can be threatened by this guy or challenged to up your dad game… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/08/25 04:16 PM |
| 32 | Wife Crash and burn storiesMine became a “bodybuilder” looked pretty hot for a year. The wall started to hit, her face looks weird, and her crash diets, supplements, and steroids took a toll in both appearance and health problems. Now she is not attractive. Her gas guzzling $70k truck isn’t that cool anymore and her medical bills are stacking up. They got the 1000 sq ft starter home and filled it with 5 big pets. Meanwhile I moved to a fat golf course house and play golf 3-4x a week. Kids basketball team that I coach is u… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/08/25 02:57 PM |
| 1 | Cohabitating awfulThat advice is heresy on this sub. Idk why. I lived in a bachelor pad apartment with a revolving door of hot poon and got my equity check to upgrade into a bigger fatter house before these guys can even finish their rant about how moving out is the biggest mistake you can make. It seems like victim mentality dominates the “suck it up and enjoy your TRO for 4 years but do not leave the house until the sheriff carries you out” crowd. Just my 2c don’t take it personally yes I get it not everybody h… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/08/25 07:34 AM |
| 2 | Advice pleaseYou can start a new family without your bitchy baby mama if you want. It could be an awesome wonderful family. If you make it awesome your child will want to be a part of it. Even if it’s every other weekend you can still be father of the year. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/08/25 07:09 AM |
| 8 | How do I regain (or reinvent) what my marriage cost me?Be the man you want to be. Make your goals and dreams come true. Think very hard about what you want your life to be like and make it happen. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/08/25 07:06 AM |
| 5 | What ruined your marriage?Thanks for the new vocabulary word! | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/08/25 07:19 PM |
| 19 | Ex-wife’s boyfriend punishing my kids.Use game theory and look at the big picture. First thing explain to your kids the difference between discipline and abuse. This is something you as the father teach them. At the same time, quit letting this chode rile you up. They all act like this. You need to pretend to be happy and in good spirits so he thinks his tyrant torture is not working. Quit measuring dicks with some doofus shacking up with a single mom. Third, as long as there is no abuse, just let it play out. Ideal outcome from my … | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/08/25 04:20 PM |
| 5 | Should I talk to a lawyer and fight for more custody in this situation?Standard with a cheating ex wife. You need leverage to keep your son in your area. Consult a few attorneys on a referral basis, paid or free. You should be scheduling and taking him to the doctor and dentist appointments and enrolling him in school. Don’t wait on your ex to do anything like this. Get him into a swimming lesson and/or music class while you’re at it. Since she is the “primary parent” (she receives the child support), the bar to relocate is not that high. You need to be proactive a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/08/25 12:59 AM |
| 1 | 1 br or twoAre you getting an equity check after divorce or were you renting? How much CS and alimony? If you hammer away at the budget and get good at cooking and live somewhere with amenities (pool and/or gym) it would be extremely beneficial for kid to have a room for many reasons. If you can’t swing it you’ll make the 1BR work but the court people might crawl up your ass and give you every other weekend and Wednesday night. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/08/25 10:00 PM |
| 1 | Finally got gut-punched with news about the other s/oPick up golf and enjoy your new life brother. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/08/25 07:01 PM |
| 3 | Has anyone ever pushed back, just becauseGood application of game theory. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/08/25 06:26 PM |
| 2 | 1 br or twoI’d go with 2BR but $2150 is too much for your budget. You could probably swing it if that’s your after tax take home pay. Try to find a way to increase your income. Get creative and think outside the box. I’d be thinking up ways to double your income. Maybe that means community college or trade school. Set a goal and make it happen. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/08/25 06:23 PM |
| 1 | How much do you pay child support?I pay same but it’s paid in full once a month. Some state agencies automatically revisit it or will revisit it upon request. I was making $100k plus stocks. My ex was making $40k. I split the stocks so they wouldn’t count as income. Now I make a little more and no idea if ex got raises. What I do is not talk to her and if she asks for money I say I’m broke as a joke. I pay for extracurriculars that I put kid in. When she asks for a reimbursement I say great just send me the $400 from summer camp… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/08/25 06:17 PM |
| 0 | Any dad's get majority of parenting time?I was the primary parent. My kid was 2 and I made 3x ex wife’s income. Therefore I was automatically the NCP. So I said fuck it I’m paying this CS you can be my nanny and I’ll have the kid same 3 days a week around my work and golf schedule. That also means I can find a league to coach my kids teams on my days. It’s been heavenly. I golf all the time and am the happiest dad on earth. In my state cs is based on income not parenting time. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/08/25 05:17 AM |
| 1 | Would I be a bad Father if I chose not to move somewhere close to my kids?YES | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/08/25 05:05 AM |
| 3 | Bankruptcy during divorceDeadbeat dad is a social construct. There are many deadbeats. There are many many more “deadbeats” that are outstanding fathers and provide for their children. Don’t worry about what people say about you. Do the best that you can do that you make your life better and the lives of your children better. Roundly ignore haters when you are doing the best you can. Be the man you want to be and all this shit works itself out. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/08/25 12:24 AM |
| 2 | Bankruptcy during divorceJust use your business savvy to get out of divorce with no debt and positive cash flow. Get a nest egg out of it too. Use game theory not emotional nonsense. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/08/25 12:21 AM |
| 2 | Any dad's get majority of parenting time?Another option is to pay your ex to be a nanny while you get parenting time around your work schedule and social schedule. It has worked spectacularly well for me. In my state CS is only based on income. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/08/25 09:28 PM |
| 9 | Like a sap I keep falling for itWe’ve all been there bro it’s all good. Sounds like you’re at the turning point where you can move on and let her go. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/08/25 06:11 PM |
| 1 | When is Peak Hate?Pretty much exact same story. However, things turned around and now my life is way better. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/08/25 10:14 AM |
| 5 | When is Peak Hate?I also left, avoided a bunch of this nonsense, and used her as a nanny while I rebuilt my life. I used reverse psychology to get access to my kid, “my turn to party, you can watch the kid.” Kid was dropped off in 15 minutes! I got my equity check faster than most and tied this thing up in mediation. 6 years later life is amazing and I live on the golf course. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/08/25 09:29 AM |
| 5 | Does this lying strategy actually work?Go on offense | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/08/25 01:41 AM |
| 2 | Indifference - how did you get there?Pickup golf and make your new life better than your old life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/07/25 08:45 PM |
| 3 | One Month Post-Affair Divorce and Feeling Lost. What Helped You?Try new things for the back pain. Yoga, chiropractor, rollers, walking, etc. When I was in your spot golf made me enjoy life again. So many new friends and experiences. For that alone I am happily divorced. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/07/25 04:30 PM |
| 1 | Mentor? Lawyer? WTF?My divorce team in order of long term effectiveness: accountant, counselor, father, lawyer, pastor, masseuse. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/07/25 04:27 PM |
| 9 | Every time I get a textMove to email only | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/25 04:30 PM |
| 5 | Keep yourself #1Are you getting buff in the gym? | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/25 01:20 AM |
| 5 | First meeting with my lawyer plus a bit of a rantOn this forum we love to tell our opponents our battle plans, soft spots, dreams, goals, salaries, etc. etc. It’s like the Trojan horse strategy except inside the horse you just give them the cash, prizes, and of course the house. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/07/25 03:31 AM |
| 2 | Just signedHow long do you have to pay? | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/07/25 01:54 AM |
| 2 | Marriage/ Divorce Help with KidsI would advise you to go to a counselor and discuss this. There is a way out for you with a good financial future and plenty of wonderful quality time with your kids. You have no self respect at the moment. But that is common. It’s not an insult. You are correct it is indeed a delicate situation. But the bottom line is you need to get away from her with as much money in your pocket as you can so that you can build a new better life for you and your kids. Your spouse is horrible. You are allowing… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/07/25 01:47 AM |
| 5 | Ex wife going on big trip with new manI’d rather be on your epic summer vacation than some lame trip to iceland | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/07/25 11:01 PM |
| 2 | Memory loss?Pretty sure divorce gave me adhd. Similarly forget work shit all the time. I have to focus on organizing my to do lists much more carefully. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/07/25 03:51 PM |
| 4 | Ex’s apparent boyfriend involvement in video calls?She tells the guy you were a drunk/abuser/controlling/dangerous and he white knights. Happens every time. Solution: go into another room when they are on the call. At pickups smile at kids and ignore ex. It may not seem like it but your reaction is aiding their silly narrative. As soon as I started ignoring their nonsense, peace was restored to my household. Let him white knight all he wants, just ignore them. And no kids don’t need you sitting there holding the phone. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/07/25 11:09 PM |
| 3 | Did your mutual friends remain "neutral" after wife's affair?If friendships are an issue after divorce, learn to play golf. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/07/25 03:09 PM |
| 10 | Kids Sports EventsDivorce is common and nothing to be ashamed of. Except when there’s a cheater and they can carry the shame I’ll just smile, hold my head high, and enjoy the event. I’ve been doing this shit for years and I do sit far away. If the kid comes to me first I say good job go say hi to your mom and let’s go get some ice cream or see you tomorrow and then go home and golf. In other words nobody cares you’re divorced be a happy guy, coach the teams, have fun, and ignore the ex without being all emo about… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/07/25 02:33 AM |
| 8 | STBXW In a Frenzy of HatredThere is always a benefit to filing first. You are ignoring several benefits. Such as getting this thing rolling and many more. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/07/25 11:29 PM |
| 3 | Do you have any concerns using AI for your divorce process?Does AI tell you to use reverse psychology and game theory to optimize your settlement? Some of us are so pissed off we can’t see the forest for the trees. In my case, I consulted ten lawyers and retained one. Total cost $7500 (6 years ago). What I learned from this sub is tell your ex whatever the hell you need to in order to get outta there with your shirt on your back and your income going forward. None of the case law will tell you what I did (but many on this forum have excellent tips). Let… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/07/25 11:26 PM |
| 10 | 7 yearsFile for divorce. Have her served at work. She is for the streets now. Make new dreams and goals and make them come true. In time you will see marrying her was a youthful mistake. You’ll forgive yourself. Keep focusing on your health. There are many many fine women out there who haven’t betrayed you. Checking in from my fat golf course house 5 years later. Not only did it get better but I would not take it back. I’d like to give what’s his face a medal for getting her out of my life. Played golf… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/07/25 05:30 PM |
| 2 | All MEN Should Watch This Video - 7 Things Cheating Wives Do to Stay UndetectedRemember fellas there is nothing special whatsoever about these cheating ex wives. They are a dime a dozen. You can do much much better. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/07/25 11:26 PM |
| 2 | What to expect? I’m anxious as heckI never had anxiety until divorce. Your solution is look up “mindfulness”. It is basically breathing exercises that help with anxiety. You will hear them talk about “practicing mindfulness” because it is a skill to be developed. It won’t work in ten seconds the first try. My favorite cure for anxiety or any spiraling is bang out 50 push-ups. If that doesn’t work, bang out 50 more. This too shall pass. Consult with a few lawyers so you avoid signing any bad agreements. Stay chill no matter what. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/07/25 12:09 PM |
| 11 | Felt this is appropriate to ask here. Girlfriend seems to be moving toward a marriage… a need divorced guys advice.I’ll add a few more tips. “I golf every Saturday no exceptions.” No joint checking account ever. She needs to fund a retirement account. A pre nup will be written (alimony waived, down payment on home protected, retirement account protected). Your CPA buddies know the best lawyer to write your prenup. The prenup may get tossed which is why it is absolutely critical she is funding her retirement. I’m not even that bent out of shape with my divorce from 5 years ago. CS for one kid isn’t that bad. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/07/25 01:20 AM |
| 2 | Thought my situation might be different, lol.When they hit the cliche phrases it’s a lock. Sorry man. Silver lining is you get to move on with a clear conscience. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/07/25 03:48 PM |
| 3 | Fiancé of 8 yrs had affair with our mortgage lender.Yup it’s happened to better men than you or me. My cheating ex got something like $300k in cash and prizes. It is what it is. Maybe you can recoup some of the money through the courts. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/25 07:26 PM |
| 5 | Fiancé of 8 yrs had affair with our mortgage lender.Divorce crowdfunding doesn’t work. Back to the drawing board. It sucks we have all been there. My advice is think of ways to double your income. Get creative and dream big. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/25 07:21 PM |
| 4 | I'm Letting Her Win This Divorce!! How Do I End It As Soon As Possible?Love it. Well done. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/25 07:12 PM |
| 1 | I really need some insight into a possible outcome of this- do I keep going?Get it back with penalties, interest, and lawyers fees. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/25 03:35 PM |
| 1 | QDROs length to processMost of us get our retirement account sliced or have to trade extra home equity just to keep it intact. Idk shit about getting money from ex wife’s retirement account. Sounds great even if it takes a few years and I wouldn’t care how I got the money I just would put it toward… retirement. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/25 05:38 AM |
| 1 | 31M Life after divorceYes of course and once I was banging out 50 push-ups first thing in the morning with ease, much finer women than my common ex wife came out of the woodwork which is standard. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/25 05:35 AM |
| 9 | 31M Life after divorceLook forward not backward. There is no changing the past but the future can be molded. My counselor told me to “live a life by design.” It took years but it worked. I picked up golf 6 years ago during divorce. Now I’m a halfway decent golfer, I made tons of friends in men’s club. The life I designed is here! I live on a golf course and drive my golf cart there. I go on golf vacations for a long weekend 3 or 4 times a year. Piling in a pickup with three buddies and driving an hour and a half to p… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/07/25 05:14 PM |
| 1 | Tell her you are brokeAre you still with the therapist? How did it go? $150 per hour is so much dough but I bet her annual salary is 75k to 100k. I like the golf angle. Did the ex husband buy the Palm Springs golf villa and this lady tried to tell you she’s a boss lady? | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/25 09:01 AM |
| 1 | Tell her you are brokeThat is still cake brother make $10k of it count long term. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/25 08:55 AM |
| 2 | QDROs length to processWhen you get the check stash it away immediately for retirement. Do not use it for a cash crunch unless you have a very high interest loan (25% APR credit card with big balance). | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/25 08:51 AM |
| -3 | Child support modificationI would continue paying $1500 but negotiate with ex wife as follows: Pay ex wife $1000/month, and you pay $500/month to kid’s college tuition account, that you deposit. When 2nd child goes to college, payment to ex stops, but you pay $500 each for your kids per month for college. Ex expected to do the same (but maybe she won’t and your kids will have to get loans but remember their dad paid a huge chunk of tuition). Inflation has gone crazy and from the cheap seats you have no modification case … | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/25 07:02 AM |
| 1 | QDROs length to processAre you waiting for a check? | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/25 06:32 AM |
| 1 | QDROs length to processDoes her interest in the retirement account keep growing with the delay? | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/25 05:26 AM |
| 2 | Here’s a FML story for you!It’s not that deep. She just found out that even pregnant chicks living with their parents get tons of attention online. If other women are checking you out cuz you’re a dope ass guy she will guard you jealously. Solution: get buff, update wardrobe and hairstyle. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/25 05:21 AM |
| 3 | Why is it so easy?Improve both your lives and make it beautiful. Make it awesome. That is what the ether is gifting you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/25 05:13 AM |
| 3 | TO ALL MEN EXPERIENCING DIVORCE - USE IT OR NOTMake it happen brother. Make new dreams and goals and make them come true. In counseling I learned I had a rare opportunity to live a “life by design”. It took a few years but it fuckin worked. My common ex wife actually needed to do me dirty just so I could escape and it’s been quite lovely for years. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/25 04:49 AM |
| 12 | TO ALL MEN EXPERIENCING DIVORCE - USE IT OR NOTGood post brother I’m 6 years out some of these daily posts make me cringe but I also remember how horrible that time was. What I took from your post was “that didn’t help me at all.” To me this is the critical element of surviving and thriving after divorce. Do things that help make your life better. When we are in victim mentality we can’t see it. From 30,000 feet it is so easy to see the same mistakes played out over and over and they are always doing things that don’t make their life better.… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/25 04:43 AM |
| 4 | How can they live with themselves?Your ex is common. Not special, not hot, just some late thirties or early forties dissatisfied ex wife. There are tens of millions of them. Your kids wouldn’t take her side or whatever if you were dope. That’s the hard truth. Solution: be the man you want to be. Dwell on that thought. Why do you need to denigrate some standard thot? If you become the man you want to be her nonsense will look pathetic. If you act all emo about a standard divorce and ex wife you will turn into a weirdo. Hit the gy… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/25 04:15 AM |
| 4 | Why is it so easy?If you don’t take it personally it is easy to understand. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/25 04:06 AM |
| 9 | Why is it so easy?From my reading this is a best case scenario. Look at the glass half full. Don’t be all pouty about it the universe made it right. It’s cause for celebration not being all emo about it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/25 04:03 AM |
| 1 | I’m Bankrolling My Own Execution, Should I Crowdfund My Survival?It’s a posture not a game plan. But yes if push comes to shove and you’re going bankrupt either way and you’re just working to pay your ex, noping the fuck out to go be a bankrupt beach bum is an option. Your ex and the folks on divorce forum will call you a deadbeat dad either way. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/07/25 11:04 PM |
| 5 | I’m Bankrolling My Own Execution, Should I Crowdfund My Survival?Replied to your post yesterday. Very interesting the comments on the regular divorce forum (I’m long banned). Those people are in LaLa land and they love a divorce like this, it’s sick! I resolved early in my divorce and kept the following posture: “you fuck with me and I will move away and you’ll never see a penny.” Idk if my ex bought it or she had a shred of a guilty cheaters conscience but I didn’t get raked like this. Good luck. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/07/25 09:28 PM |
| 4 | How is it legal that I have to pay my wife’s lawyer to build a case against me while I still pay for everything else?Ask your question to AI like Gemini or Claude.AI Mention state and county. When I was getting divorced I paid my bills first, then my old house bills. Didn’t have a court order or agreement. You should find out what happens if you don’t uphold the agreement because you can’t afford to. I don’t think it’s that dire. I would be making sure you have somewhere to live and food to eat first and foremost. The two jobs even seems like too much you’re just increasing income which will be used on your fi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/07/25 05:39 AM |
| 3 | How is it legal that I have to pay my wife’s lawyer to build a case against me while I still pay for everything else?If you can’t afford to live you can’t afford to Zelle her lawyer is my view from the cheap seats. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/07/25 05:25 AM |
| 3 | The Last Day I Hugged My Family (A true story about love, loss, and finding a way forward)Defend yourself vigorously and file motions for reunification time then go on and offense with parental alienation. I wasn’t in this situation but a relative was. Since there was no evidence the whole thing blew over in 18 months and he got a regular parenting plan. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/07/25 05:01 PM |
| 2 | Tell me I’ll be okYes a rare opportunity | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/07/25 04:24 PM |
| 7 | If your wife cheated and no one understands the pain — read thisIn the final analysis I’m glad she did it so I could get away from selfish thot with a clear conscience. I also found the pain and anger went away when I got to the point of, “she cheated so I divorced her” rather than seeing it as some type of earth shattering ultimate betrayal. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/07/25 04:17 PM |
| 3 | Having a day…Keep grinding keep dreaming. Been where you are at just stay the course everything will work out. Golf men’s club has me jumping out of bed Saturday morning like a little kid. Find something like that. It took me 1000 attempts to find something that brought me joy. I stumbled into it out of desperation. Cohabiting sucks but it’s just temporary. I cried tears of joy when I moved out of my house into an apartment and got away from her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/07/25 07:00 PM |
| 3 | Having a day…Double down on your workouts to get buff. Start every day with 50 push-ups. Join golf men’s club. Improve your life so that you forget all about what’s her face. She is common not special. You have to be the man you want to be. Dwell on that thought. I personally wouldn’t want some annoying CrossFit single mom who thinks she’s hot shit after divorcing the father of her kids. After a few years of crash diets and supplements, my ex looks like a used plastic grocery bag. It is very easy to not be j… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/07/25 06:21 PM |
| 2 | Divorce generate $50 billion annually in the U.S. it's a business fuck you kidsI read this sub to understand this point before I made ANY divorce moves. Once you understand this point you can operate with game theory. Understanding the rules of the game is critical. Classic mistake we see here is people thinking, I’ve been a dedicated father for 10 years, the courts must side with me. Hello people it’s a massive industry. You don’t win by feeding the system $50k. My game theory strategy was, how do I get out of a $500 mediation session with money for a dp on my next house … | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/07/25 05:34 PM |
| 6 | Divorcing an abuserMight have some luck carefully accounting the amount of money spent on the affairs and using it as leverage to make a more favorable agreement regarding alimony. My advice is think in terms of game theory, optimizing your moves for your best financial outcome. This definitely includes consideration of paying lawyers tens of thousands of dollars. If you play your cards perfectly you can probably optimize a settlement in mediation. I wouldn’t be talking with the stbxw at all until you’ve done your… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/07/25 09:08 PM |
| 6 | Wife doesn't want child support. Any work arounds?I would be worried about back support bill with informal agreements. 5 years from now your kid may take a liking to your new girlfriend. Ask yourself what happens if you piss off your ex wife. You don’t want to be in a spot where she can get you for $50k. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/07/25 08:12 PM |
| 2 | 443,000 is gone what should I do?I think a starting point would be sitting down with spouse and running a basic household budget for this month. Warning, this is not fast or easy. If I were your wife I would not want to do this exercise so selling the necessity of it is half the battle. The budget is built by categorizing actual expenses from last 3 months. Then take the average for each category. The income portion should ignore retirement and taxes. It should just be the actual take home pay. So OP needs to first understand h… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/07/25 07:28 PM |
| 15 | 443,000 is gone what should I do?These “calculations” are absurd. $17k in tax refunds 4 years in a row on a $100k salary and you’re just counting it as a surplus. You think your household expenses are $7k per month and never shift and no big purchases were made. Your expected surplus number is just ridiculous. What’s happened here is you ignored the finances. Trying to napkin math 4 of years of expected surplus doesn’t make any sense at all. Get a handle on your finances. It’s a lot more work than this silly expected surplus po… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/07/25 06:24 PM |
| 6 | Menopause?My ex wife started acting super bitchy when she was like 29 | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/07/25 07:02 AM |
| 3 | My Wife is Emotionally DetachedTomorrow wake up early, go for a jog, then get the kids up, dressed, and fed. Training up to be a divorced dad. Then tell your wife “thanks for being such a good wife and mother.” If you act like a puppy dog looking for a pat on the back it won’t do jack shit. If you get buff in the next 3 months you’ll gain self respect and the respect of your family and you’ll get some play. Good luck. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/07/25 03:28 AM |
| 3 | How much are you paying and why?25% of take home pay is pretty standard. Lots of bs calculations involved. Everyone wants you to pay up including other divorced dads who don’t want you to have it any easier. Divorced dads are public enemy number one. Nobody coming to save you. Best thing you can do is double your income after divorce and never tell ex wife. Tell her you are broke and miserable from here on out. The idea is that it would be a complete waste of her time to do any recalculation paperwork. Entire agencies and live… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/06/25 01:35 AM |
| 2 | Caught my wife cheating (again). Divorce is the only path forward — just need perspective.Don’t tell the boss. Maintain work performance. Do check to see if your work benefits include legal assistance. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/06/25 02:59 PM |
| 2 | If their mom does this, what would you do?I would pay for the dance. Next time she sends you a receipt for say $60 for reimbursement you reply, “Ok, dance was $600. Your share is $200 per the agreement. Please send $140 at your convenience.” In other words, start building up credits for substantial reimbursements clearly outlined in the agreement. Do this twice and you will never get a reimbursement request again. In my case I do this for the sports that I sign her up for. I’m getting her braces and not expecting a single penny reimburs… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/06/25 02:41 PM |
| 1 | Called my kids to pass along the news.lol 45 minutes | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/06/25 12:14 PM |
| 1 | Has anyone here successfully forced the use of OFW or some other app that limits/oversees the ex’s communication?I hear you brotha early days is hell. Took like 3 years to figure out the game. I’m on year 6 or 7. Letting go of her thoughts, snipes, opinions and focusing on whether I am in good standing with the court order. Recent example, ex wants me to take the kid for a week on like two days notice. My gf was like oooh she probably wants a vacation!! I’m like idc what she wants if I’m able to work this around my schedule and have a dope ass week I’ll do it. The email reply was “Yes Ill drop her off on t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/06/25 05:41 PM |
| 4 | Has anyone here successfully forced the use of OFW or some other app that limits/oversees the ex’s communication?You have to pay for an app on your phone that is a constant reminder of divorce bullshit. I would pass. I value peace more than proving my ex wrong. Just my 2c getting her out of sight and out of mind requires just 2 simple things: e-mail only communications and fulfilling your side of the divorce court orders without any cooperation from her whatsoever. All this extra chatter is just giving her more ammo to screw you over in court. That’s the way it always works. The judge is going to nitpick y… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/06/25 05:18 PM |
| 8 | Has anyone here successfully forced the use of OFW or some other app that limits/oversees the ex’s communication?I said you are blocked and I can be reached at my email address. Email much easier to store and ignore. Silver lining you can think about your response for 24 hours no problem. No court date no nothing just say contact me at my email address. Just switch to email. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/06/25 04:31 PM |
| 3 | I'm in the same place now because she can't talk to meThis is exactly how someone would act if they are cheating. File for divorce without further comment. Do it now while she’s out of the house. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/06/25 02:42 PM |
| 1 | In review for custody CANot sure in CA but in my state if the child is 2 and you find out you are not the father you still pay CS etc. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/06/25 10:23 PM |
| 1 | After divorce, I lost more than my marriage—I lost my sense of self. I’ve spent years helping others through transformation, but rebuilding myself was something else entirely.Hitting the gym, updating haircut and wardrobe, and joining golf men’s club. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/06/25 02:11 PM |
| 1 | Scared-Not GetTing BetterYes I agree therapy is crucial here and I love the option about the pastor. To me the closure came when I realized, “My life will be better without a disloyal traitor and cheat.” And it did in fact get much much better. Injustice is a fact of life and accepting that reality is difficult but liberating. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/06/25 07:02 PM |
| 2 | Fathers or Mothers, please read and give me some needed advice please :)Stick this list into Claude.ai and ask it how to present to family court in your county. I would ask it to re-order it by priority of MSA violation. I would ask it to combine duplicate entries. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/06/25 06:23 PM |
| 2 | Fathers or Mothers, please read and give me some needed advice please :)Several items needlessly repeated. Will make it hard to categorize your evidence. If you take it to court file for attorneys fees. I would continue weekly form emails knowing that your emails will be studied hard for tone / harassment (which will be her defense). Prepare and present you evidence in a way that makes it easy for the judge to accept your proposals, grant your motions, and sanction the other party. You need to show the key evidence not every slight from the last 6 months. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/06/25 05:52 PM |
| 10 | Father's Day giftI used to not get my dad in a married household Jack shit for Father’s Day. He is a great dad. I didn’t have $20 to do anything. I’d probably ask him for $20 to see a movie with friends Father’s Day weekend. Still rude but that’s teenagers. 20 years later I hook him up with $200 golf equipment. File this one in don’t take it personally and let it go. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/25 07:26 PM |
| 2 | Any good advice on finding a lawyerSome people say talk to 2 or 3. I disagree. I want that initial consultation with 10 lawyers. Then another consultation with your tax pro. Then bounce your ideas off your counselor and pastor. Then get a couple massages. All the sudden you have a divorce team. Building a divorce team was my strongest move in the entire thing. I knew my case inside and out. When you call the lawyer and leave a message, make it a good one. Name-County-Number of children-Filing status. If you’re the first fool who … | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/25 08:24 PM |
| 6 | The anxiety is really getting badI had the same depression, anxiety, and fears. None of my worst fears happened. In fact every single facet of my life was slowly upgraded. Do good healthy things. You know what they are you just have to do it. Bring some joy into your life. Mine is golf and I can tell you I’m the happiest guy on earth after getting through this shit. The difficulty of getting healthy and moving on breeds resilience. Let her go and move on. Make the best of the new situation. Make it better than your old life. It… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/25 03:41 PM |
| 2 | The anxiety is really getting badWhat a great comment, bravo! | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/25 03:37 PM |
| 8 | For those of you dealing with cheating, how do you get over the anger?Gym, counseling, and find something that brings you joy (mine is playing golf). It takes about 3 months to get buff if you eat right and hit the gym 4 or 5x a week. Then many fine women will want a shot at the champ, you’ll wake up happy, and your ex will be an afterthought. I remember feeling the way you feel but it now seems foreign. I’m happy she had an affair. In retrospect she was an albatross around my neck with or without the affair. Coach the kids sports teams and make your household awe… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/06/25 07:54 AM |
| 2 | Kids Summer RV Tradition Event Wife ImplodedAct like you don’t want it. Ex wives love to do the opposite of what we want. Even better tell her to keep the RV and pay you for it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/06/25 04:45 AM |
| 4 | Kids Summer RV Tradition Event Wife ImplodedTry to get the RV in the divorce | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/06/25 04:38 AM |
| 6 | Divorced M(49) with GF (39) she mentions marriage...How does she act when she’s pissed off at you? | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/06/25 09:44 PM |
| 5 | Message to my STBXWand let her go. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/06/25 09:41 PM |
| 8 | Was my situation typical?You are wise beyond your years. I am happy for you. Every divorced man in America wishes they had your balls of steel to say, “Enough!” Sadly many of us cowered when it was time to make our stand. Enjoy the next chapter of your life without this ingrate. Go on a tropical vacation and smash some hoes with the money you saved by not being afraid to tell that bitch off. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/06/25 08:29 PM |
| 2 | The day finally cameYes I agree. I got divorced when my kid was 2 so week on week off sounded insane at that time. In my state CS didn’t change with parenting time. The one big whiff was no relocation clause in my agreement. Ex tried it once and failed (in laws would not support it and certainly wouldn’t pay for the legal battle). With 7 days in a week there’s just not a great way to do it. I found my perfect answer but it comes with risk (I am the secondary parent no matter how you slice it). I read to my kid ever… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/06/25 11:36 PM |
| 5 | Saw this nice house and got annoyedIf my ex was still spending $300 at the grocery store twice a week there is no way I could’ve upgraded into my fat golf course house ever. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/06/25 03:30 PM |
| 1 | The day finally cameI have same 3 nights a week so pretty much every other day and it’s fantastic. Been running it for 5 or 6 years no complaints whatsoever. My work schedule is stable, and I do whatever I want on my days. Yesterday I played golf, today we’re riding bikes. It’s heavenly. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/06/25 03:00 PM |
| 10 | Erased from life!Lmao replacing you in the golf story is divorce comedy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/25 07:12 PM |
| 1 | Attorney fees and paying for themIn this financial position I would strongly consider going pro se with help from the court clerks and AI. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/06/25 06:48 PM |
| 2 | Custody, Georgia - need adviceIf she moves the kids to a different state you could also move to the new state. Or you could stay where you are and have her do all the child rearing work. It’s seems bleak but it’s certainly not that bleak. If you shift your perspective a little bit you might see that you will get many more choices and opportunities, not less. Maybe it would be fun if the kids spent summer and christmas with you for example. Change is hard but it doesn’t have to be bad. Think of how to make your new life bette… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/06/25 06:39 PM |
| 10 | Think she's finally accepted I hate her and we will never be friendsMy hot take is if you do the difficult thing and ask yourself, “how are my own actions and interactions hurting me?” you can escape all this drama much more quickly and easily. It’s not saying take responsibility for your part of the demise of the marriage. I hate that line cuz I wasn’t the one sneaking around living a double life. Like most of us I was just going to work and letting my ex spend all my cash. Anyway I got over all these coparenting problems by letting go of the past (not being pa… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/06/25 06:34 PM |
| 2 | Attorney FeesGot better at budgeting. It was easy without ex spending every last cent. Used whatever I had to pay off debts so my go forward cash flow was good. Took 3 years of discipline. Years 4-6 have been most excellent. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/06/25 05:17 AM |
| 2 | Anyone dealt with custody evaluator?Be friendly with the evaluator. Seems obvious they will pick the winner and then fill out the reports from there. I’d be happy, charming, plenty of smiles, thank yous etc. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/06/25 04:22 PM |
| 1 | Having a real hard time.After the hot girl summer the wall hits em hard without mercy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/06/25 03:38 AM |
| 1 | Having a real hard time.Pick up golf. Discovered it in desperation. Now it’s my raison d’etre. Men’s club is so easy to make friends and gets you decent discounts. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/06/25 03:36 AM |
| 3 | What’s the most you guys have spent on your legal fees?$10k on 10 consultations, filing, and mediator. Retained lawyer got $7500 of that. $500k marital estate split in mediation. No alimony on 7 year marriage. She got some unvested stocks. I got good tax treatment. CS at state standard. My preferred parenting plan. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/06/25 03:58 AM |
| 2 | 8th grade graduation tomorrow-changing the tone in public with my exHow did it go? | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/25 05:20 PM |
| 1 | Checked my messages for the first time in forever, to a very interesting butt dial.Pop it open read the whole book not just the first chapter. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/25 05:19 PM |
| 2 | 8th grade graduation tomorrow-changing the tone in public with my exSome of us have not discovered the art of the smile and not giving a fuck. Who cares your ex spewed the usual nonsense for the umpteenth time 2 days ago. Today is a new day let her antics go. No more warning the extended family about what she might do. It makes you look feeble and weak. What you want to do is handle it with grace. Let the kid take pictures with the other family and then have your photo shoot. Just play it cool man. You’re packing too much pressure onto this thing and planning fo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/25 11:58 PM |
| 3 | 8th grade graduation tomorrow-changing the tone in public with my exDo not put any pressure on the kid when they have a speech to give. Just smile and enjoy her moment. I’ve been put on the spot in public by my ex 1000x. If you act cool everyone will be happy for you. If you’re waiting for a trigger you will get one. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/25 11:51 PM |
| 4 | 8th grade graduation tomorrow-changing the tone in public with my exI would do it slightly differently. Just proud dad the shit out of the day. Class speaker hell yeah. You sound triggered already. Nothing your ex says to anybody changes anything. Smile and nod if she says we raised a great kid. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/25 11:48 PM |
| 1 | Support for men seeking legal feesCancel all non essential bill pays (ie netflix). Budget for and carefully track all essential bill pays (ie electric). In negotiations you say, id like to be reimbursed for 60% of household bills since separation. Negotiate down to 50%. Do some math so you know what sum of money this is relative to overall settlement. $500 on a $250k net positive marital estate is nothing and shouldn’t even be mentioned. $2500 on a $10k net positive marital estate is very important. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/25 11:30 PM |
| 3 | How to get over it.I picked up golf during divorce which helped build a wonderful friendship with my dad. Give it a try. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/25 09:59 PM |
| 5 | How to get over it.Disagree. Make your new life better than your old life and you will indeed be fully over it and even happy about it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/25 09:57 PM |
| 2 | Why is she rewarded for blowing up our family. It's got to stop.Incorrect. Read more here: https://www.forbes.com/sites/emmajohnson/2014/11/20/why-do-so-few-men-get-alimony/ | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/25 06:59 PM |
| 2 | Why is she rewarded for blowing up our family. It's got to stop.Where did you get the prenup and how much did it cost? | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/25 05:47 PM |
| 7 | Why is she rewarded for blowing up our family. It's got to stop.On the rare occasion they have to pay they get the pussy discount anyway. Women and children are protected. Men are on their own. Laughable people would claim it’s all about income differential and pre marital assets when the stats are readily available. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/25 05:46 PM |
| 1 | We are getting robbed by CPAs in divorce cases it's algebra not arithmetic or accounting!Double check your work. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/25 05:07 AM |
| 2 | We are getting robbed by CPAs in divorce cases it's algebra not arithmetic or accounting!Most of us can’t be troubled to find the actual worksheets on the court website that the lawyer will spend 90 minutes filling out. The online quick calculators are the same thing but don’t include the smaller line items. My CPA was extremely helpful in explaining how to define my RSU’s, would should be up for grabs in the divorce, and how to factor in taxes. This information was too complicated to discern on my own (and I studied my stock paperwork and took accounting classes). The deal I negoti… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/25 03:06 AM |
| 6 | Absolute crazinessMy kid told her daycare that the live in boyfriend kicked her. CPS “investigated” even showed up to dig around at my fat golf course house which is the most joyful kid zone on planet earth lmao. Well the guy definitely did it. Four year old said everything about it in great detail the same day. the mom told her don’t squeal or she’ll pull her out of daycare and she followed through. All said and done the court rejected my emergency restraining order and a week later cps and the cops closed the c… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/25 02:58 AM |
| 3 | Checked my messages for the first time in forever, to a very interesting butt dial.A marriage that lacks love, trust, or respect. These cheaters kill all that but stay for convenience. We need to be very careful about who we marry and why. Oftentimes the signs are there but overlooked or we marry for the wrong reasons (my ex was sexy in college for example). | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/25 02:50 AM |
| 9 | Checked my messages for the first time in forever, to a very interesting butt dial.It’s her character flaw not yours. The next guy is a sucker for believing her. It’s happened to better men than you or me with billions more in the pipeline. So in that sense it’s nothing to be taken personally. In the sense this is someone for whom you sacrificed and had loyalty toward, well the obvious answer is divorce them and keep them as far out of your life as practically possible. This new revelation confirms something that everyone else knew about your prior marriage: it was a marriage … | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/25 10:56 PM |
| 8 | Checked my messages for the first time in forever, to a very interesting butt dial.The term is monkey branching. A mother’s instinct is to acquire a new mate for security prior to leaving the father of her children. It’s why all the stories here sound the same; they are the same. It is human nature more than the complex plans of a super villain. It is just a fact of life and shouldn’t be taken personally. The final analysis is that you don’t want to be married to people like this anyway, so let them go and move on. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/25 10:15 PM |
| 3 | Master list of custody terms to include in settlement requestRelocation clause (so the mom can’t move the kids away). | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/25 02:37 PM |
| 2 | Anyone also experienced needing to repeat the same things to STBX?Email only. “Please refer to our May 25 email thread.” | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/06/25 10:13 PM |
| 3 | Question about 401kI would try to get out of that student loan as you will get none of the future benefit. Talk to a lawyer about that issue specifically. Don’t agree to pickup tabs for kids insurance etc without your ex putting something up (like taking responsibility for her loan). It’s very common for the ex to get the good side of every issue but you don’t need to fold to keep the peace. Look at final numbers under this proposal. If that loan helps her get higher future income say something and only pay 1/3 of… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/06/25 09:48 PM |
| 2 | Question about 401kI wouldn’t pay anything for that student loan if you’re not on it. I like your idea to save your existing house equity check for new down payment. Killing all your personal debts and even getting into a car with no payment could be sweet as well. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/06/25 09:40 PM |
| 5 | Sign agreement, or lawyer?Get the alimony now and be generous later. If you don’t get it the household incomes will be very unequal which is a big risk to your relationship with your kids. If you don’t need it to run household start some college funds. Quick and easy isn’t even a factor. Neither is punishing her for ranting about it. Only thing that matters is your future ability to raise your children. If you forgo the alimony the households will be very unequal and your children will gravitate to the toys, recreation, … | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/06/25 08:37 PM |
| 7 | Worst divorce story you can laugh about now?Worked at my company for 5 years. It goes public and the stock popped the fuck off. My shares had a strike price of $12. By the time the IPO blackout period ended they were worth well north of $100 and climbing. $100s of thousands of dollars in wealth vested overnight. My ex wife starts an affair the same week the money became available. We were paycheck to paycheck and finally had some cash. 6 months later I discover the affair, but I feign reconciliation for another 6 months and start spending… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/06/25 05:02 PM |
| 4 | Unable to Move on- Ready to DieBeen there brother but the clouds parted and life got great. You’re still early. Please talk to a counselor. They will have good ideas to help you. I know it hurts brother but you can thrive. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/06/25 03:44 AM |
| 13 | Divorced Dads Coping After Infidelity– When She “moved on” Stronger, and You are still rebuildingStay the course and even double down on your self improvement breakthrough. Ask God for a breakthrough to improve your life. Design your new life to make it awesome. Expect your breakthrough and seize new opportunities. Think of ways to double your income. It will take longer than you’d like but the rewards for patience and perseverance are priceless. I remember my ex spending my divorce settlement cash and prizes on a $70k new truck. Just forced myself to say not my concern, play my long game. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/06/25 02:33 AM |
| 3 | Why oh why keep my babies from me?If you like that one I’ll go all phd on this shit. “it’s not about money for me, I just want to maintain my reputation in the community for the sake of our children.” Then she will be all focused on nonsense rather than the $$. Use a little game theory, misdirection, and reverse psychology to get out of divorce mess. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/06/25 10:41 AM |
| 5 | Tip of the day...I hate getting laid too. Try this one: “Marsha so glad you reached out! Diana was raving about you. Can we do coffee at Buster’s on Friday or Saturday?” | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/06/25 07:56 AM |
| 3 | IdkPerfect time to learn how to golf which not only cured me but made me the happiest guy on the planet. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/06/25 07:39 AM |
| 3 | IdkKeep grinding chef it’s gonna be ok brother. It’s temporary man. The world is a lot bigger than your ex. Many wonderful opportunities are available to you. Try yoga, reading, push-ups, working out, breathing exercises aka meditation, drinking a shit ton of water, eating healthy, learning a new instrument, hiking, fishing, going to bed earlier with a good book and a cup of tea, waking up earlier and going for a jog and literally smelling the roses. You’re just in the thick of something shitty but… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/06/25 07:38 AM |
| 2 | Keep your head up guys we won one todayGet the dashcam with audio too if you want to catch fools slippin | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/06/25 07:32 AM |
| 1 | Am I playing myself?You started negotiating before you did your homework. No advice just pointing out the classic mistake to the readership. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/06/25 06:48 AM |
| 14 | Why oh why keep my babies from me?I love answering this question. Obviously she’s trying to hit you where it hurts. The obvious solution is camouflage your weakness. It’s so easy! Just pretend (not in writing) that you want your ex to do all the daycare. She is doing the opposite of what you want. She is trying to twist the knife and all you’re doing is telling her exactly where to stab you. Use a little cunning and guile and make her think you DONT want the kids (never say this in writing). She will drop them off at your doorst… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/06/25 06:07 AM |
| 1 | Acceptance? Or delusional?If she didn’t cheat I would try to salvage it. Just my 2c. Might need to try something new like hitting the gym and updating your wardrobe. If other women are checking you out in public she may change her tune. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/25 01:08 PM |
| 4 | Seriously? An email?The danger is in you texting or calling or making agreements in person. Highly advise you use email for every single interaction. I see my ex 3x a week. If she wants to exchange pleasantries that’s fine. If she wants to say anything of substance whatsoever, “send me an email please.” The first lesson in divorce court: everything YOU say and do will be taken in the worst light, worse than you can imagine. But ex wives are not held to that standard. Big fuckin deal just don’t give them any ammo wh… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/25 04:56 AM |
| 18 | Seriously? An email?Noted all over the place here but there is a big thing you are missing. If you start taking all this personally your outcomes get worse. Your life gets worse if you can’t control your emotions. Do you want a better life? The ticky tack household possessions are NOTHING in the divorce. Sure negotiate to keep the stuff you really want but do not make a mountain out of a molehill. Agree with others email is the proper way for her to send you this list. Use this household possession transfer to buil… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/25 04:52 AM |
| 3 | Seriously? An email?And keep it that way forever | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/25 04:46 AM |
| 8 | Does anyone feel like their attorneys are just one big money scam?If you can’t afford an attorney you have one option: cool down the temperature. Stop talking to your ex. Stop talking to your ex. Don’t antagonize her by ghosting her just stop getting triggered with every communication. Stop getting triggered. I don’t care what she does you have to take your lumps and respond rather than react. You should have got the critical information from your attorney in these phone calls. There’s only one critical question during the divorce: what bills do I need to pay … | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/25 04:26 AM |
| 2 | unresponsible soon to be ex wife financiallyWrite down your income and her income, write down as many questions as you can think of. Prioritize them and ask a lawyer in a consultation. In my case the lawyer told me exactly what to do with my paychecks during divorce. When it came time to settle, no way was alimony on the table because my temporary support was a clear cut number above guideline for 18 months on a 7 year marriage. So it’s a delicate issue we’ve all dealt with but follow the lawyer’s advice on this one. May depend on your lo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/05/25 03:35 PM |
| 1 | Using Mediation for Divorce Any Tips for a Fair DealWell for starters there are two primary objectives of mediation. 1) A parenting plan you like or, at a minimum, can live with for the next decade. 2) as much of your property and future cash flow you can keep to raise your kid and pursue your new goals and dreams. Forget the idea of a fair deal. It won’t be fair. Embrace the idea of the lopsided deal. Let your ex “win” the divorce in her head if it gets you a better parenting plan and more assets and cash flow. So your primary goal is a “fair” o… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/05/25 05:31 AM |
| 9 | My wife initiated a divorceFile for the divorce yourself and move somewhere you want and get a new dog. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/05/25 05:25 AM |
| 5 | Enforcing BoundariesConversely, sometimes an absolute nightmare like cheating wife and subsequent divorce can be the best thing ever. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/25 05:09 PM |
| 2 | Currently feel stuck and depressed everyday.See a counselor to make good decisions. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/25 06:02 AM |
| 2 | How??Thy adversary hath been promoted. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/25 05:50 AM |
| 4 | Trying to Co-Parent, but Somehow I’m Still the VillainLike what? Nothing new in the parenting plan is going to fix anything. You may want more in there, even if you waste time on it you won’t be able to enforce it. Sounds like much ado about nothing. There’s no law about your ex or her boyfriend respecting your wishes. Just accept it. Only reason to change that parenting plan is when they get convicted of a criminal offense against your kid. Then you’ll win your custody case. You don’t even really want it to get to that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/25 12:45 AM |
| 4 | Trying to Co-Parent, but Somehow I’m Still the VillainYou’re exhausting yourself just stop talking to her and move on. Don’t request any talk like adults what are you thinking man? Probably been a traumatic year for you man put it behind you and let it go don’t do anything to get back in family court. Sounds like you’re subconsciously trying to hold on to the drama and trauma just move on to the next chapter and stop thinking about ex at all. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/25 12:32 AM |
| 8 | Trying to Co-Parent, but Somehow I’m Still the VillainYearning for your ex wife’s respect is making your life worse. You shouldn’t care what she thinks of you as a person or parent. Follow the terms of the court order and nothing more. Do all the good parenting on your time. Only email if it’s absolutely necessary. Suggesting mediation for mutual respect was a terrible idea and opened up a can of worms. Learn to manage your court costs so anything she tries costs her twice as much time and money as yourself. Stop worrying about what people think of… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/25 12:29 AM |
| 6 | How can I even work anymoreI think the counselor is right. You’ll have good days and bad days but just try to set up good routines to get your work done. I like to reward myself with a round of golf for a productive day. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/25 07:12 PM |
| 4 | Spinning plates.Think it’s just part of sowing wild oats. It’s gets tiresome after awhile. There is no way to spin plates and date multiple women without inviting a bunch of drama. It’s all fun and games until they realize you’re the best option available. Breaking up ain’t easy but often necessary. I got tired of breakups and running into people etc. but after a couple years no one cares you went on a year long post divorce dating binge. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/25 07:10 PM |
| 4 | How many of us were actually abused?Yeah that counts | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/25 03:52 PM |
| 7 | I didn't expect that divorced women would find hook ups so easy ....I agree but I think 3 months in the gym is all it really takes. Same advice I give here all the time m, get those Cheeto fingers off Reddit and hit the gym, get a fresh new hairstyle, and update wardrobe. It’s worth a raise at work too. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/05/25 06:55 AM |
| 6 | FaithI prayed for strength, wisdom, and understanding. Also focus at work and help improving my life. Practiced gratitude for life, a cold glass of water and a roof over my head. All my prayers and dreams came true. So I would say it is extremely powerful. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/05/25 06:49 AM |
| 5 | Getting over the ex....Ah yes you just reminded me of the $500 planned parenthood charge on our “joint” account. Just give it time it won’t always sting. Now I laugh about what a selfish thot she was. Just shake my head at myself for ever giving a shit about common gutter thot. Don’t take it personally brother it is what it is. We got scammed by traitors. Has happened to better men than you or me. Some poor guy is finding out he’s in the same boat tonight. It sucks when you’re in it, the trick is to make your new life… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/05/25 06:21 AM |
| 1 | Need some support, it was partially my faultWow she sounds horrible man. You buy a house then it’s all “meh I’m not really feeling it anymore.” Sounds like every other ex wife we hear about on this forum. Usually there is some other chode involved. Do not get all sappy about this when you need to focus on divorce terms like what’s happening to the house, totaling up assets like equity in cars and retirement account balances. You better get your mind right asap. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/05/25 05:46 AM |
| 7 | Is there hope for me?You gonna be fine G. Don’t let your ex know when you get raises and are flush with cash. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/05/25 03:15 PM |
| 7 | My Wife Left Me 3 Times in 1 Year – Family Still Forcing Me to Take Her Back (Cousin Marriage, No Emotional Support, Full Mess)I would file for divorce, get buff, update your wardrobe, get a raise, improve my life, and not give a shit what any of these people think about my life. You tried simping out for all these people and it didn’t work. Get buff and you’ll get some self respect. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/05/25 05:35 AM |
| 15 | Is there hope for me?$1k a month after you’ve paid all your bills? You’re doing great. Stay the course. $650 per month is nothing for 2 kids. The only thing you got hoodwinked on was her student loans. Doesn’t sound like your lawyers did that bad dude. How long were you married? Sounds like you’re paying student loans instead of alimony. Sounds like a win win deal to me. Don’t compare your lifestyle to hers. The simple reason is that does not improve your life. You need to dream bigger. Copying your ex wife’s lifest… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/05/25 05:31 AM |
| 3 | Any of y’all relieved when wife filed for divorce?On one hand I enjoy being a divorced dad. On the other hand my ex was way worse than this. You need a plan if you want to blow this thing up. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/05/25 04:48 AM |
| 4 | Kid swap thoughtslol I love it. These new boyfriends never cease to be complete clowns. I laughed at him a couple times. One time we’re at the exchange drop and my ex says “kid doesn’t want to go with you.” I knew that was a hoax cuz my house is peaceful and joyful. They were actually trying to move cross country and rile me up to start their plan. So I’m standing there saying look the parenting plan is a court order you guys cannot do this. The guy gets up in my face but I’m a wrestler and this regular army gru… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/05/25 07:17 PM |
| 2 | Concessions for the other?Really bad ideas in my opinion. Just find out what the CS number is by using your state’s calculator. Most states will ‘impute’ her income to 40 hours minimum wage for the purpose of CS calculations. Your health/dental will give you a credit in those same calculations (may not be dollar for dollar but still significant): If you want 50/50 custody you should be able to do that which also might reduce your CS. You are gonna want and need those tax credits and HoH filing status. Every other year is… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/05/25 03:03 PM |
| 3 | The End Is Never ComfortableI remember some shitty marriage counselor saying this gobbledygook about how “affairs are like a waterfall, even though one person had the affair, both a partially responsible.” Yeah it didn’t make any sense then either. Then I realized ok sure I’m not perfect, nor was she before the affair. Come to think of it this affair makes her a complete pos. I told another counselor about it and he said “get away from her man.” People who say stuff like it’s both parties’ fault possibly mean well in the s… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/05/25 02:49 PM |
| 1 | Right now, your ex is ruining someone else's life now. Don't Worry, You're safe.Not good enuff they already know how the wheels of family court work. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/05/25 12:05 AM |
| 3 | Anybody have experience with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) to value pensions?Agree! The scam is to get maximum assets upfront “in lieu” of CS. Then 2-3 years later get hauled back into court with your W2’s and the judge will rubber stamp a CS increase with no regard for the lopsided initial asset split. Do not negotiate Child Support for assets. Negotiate CS with the expectation that it is always modifiable and only goes up (not down). What you want to do is get out of alimony from the jump. CS is what it is. Get out of alimony tho. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/05/25 08:10 PM |
| 2 | Anybody have experience with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) to value pensions?Regular tax accountant and divorce attorney could help value that pension and explain how you will split it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/05/25 08:05 PM |
| 1 | What Lesson?Sounds like you learned a lot of lessons man. I think your analysis is correct. She left because she wanted to. Many are left holding the bag. Don’t be left holding the bag next time around. The book “No More Mr. Nice Guy” will give you clarity and tips. It is a very common experience to be doing “nice guy” stuff and expecting loyalty in return. It just doesn’t work that way in reality. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/05/25 05:00 PM |
| 21 | Right now, your ex is ruining someone else's life now. Don't Worry, You're safe.When I was dating I learned to sniff out these types. Several women were bragging about CS received from ex. I didn’t even want to try to determine if the baby daddy was actually bad. Just made a rule. No to single moms. Many will say how can you say that as a dad? What a hypocrite, right? Not for me, I’m the one who had have to pay CS the next time around. Juice ain’t worth the squeeze. These new boyfriends just haven’t been burned in family court yet. And if you’re one of these new boyfriends … | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/05/25 04:51 PM |
| 5 | Starting as friendsUpgrade your life and everything in it. Very easy to upgrade from cheating ex wife. Don’t be email pen pals with her. Move on. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/05/25 03:04 PM |
| 2 | Soon to be ex wife -may have daddy issues and attributing them to me?Call company and get that check sent to you if possible and have them void the old one. Had this same deal with a tax issue. I paid $17k out of my pocket for our last “joint” taxes (read I pay all my taxes through the year and my ex withholds nothing). They sent back $2500 because they waived interest for Covid. I needed my exes signature on the check and she wouldn’t do it lmao. Ended up giving her half the check. I said we need to close down our “joint” account (read I had the account since I … | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/05/25 04:44 PM |
| 1 | Help with 50/50 scheduleReading his comment about the difference in CS, I withdraw my comment and he should not bend on 50/50. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/05/25 02:21 PM |
| 2 | Moving away from family after divorceAn hour away is perfect. 30 mins each way when you meet halfway to play golf or go fishing. You’ll have to make some new friends which is what you need to do anyway. Again the answer is golf. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/05/25 06:51 AM |
| 1 | Help with 50/50 scheduleWhat are the specifics of the CS? Incomes, state, length of marriage. The states have different laws about parenting time and CS. For example in WA, the CS calculation is based on difference in incomes. Some people hate how I played it but I looked at the scenario and said, oh even though I’m the primary parent I’m paying xyz CS no matter what because I make way more. And on that basis she becomes the primary parent. And the CS is set. You can get a deviation but that is only if you have somethi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/05/25 05:44 AM |
| 8 | Won 50/50 Custody—Now My STBX Hired a Celebrity Law Firm to Break MeTwo ideas: Are you well versed enough in the system to swat these frivolous motions away without paying a lawyer? Can you have your lawyer summarize the frivolous nature of these filings and put a stop to it? | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/05/25 04:07 AM |
| 5 | Finally got evidence of financial indiscretionsReview of your profile suggests some contradictions or, at a minimum, you’ve been wrestling with this for a long time. I would suggest building a divorce team including lawyer, accountant, counselor. Your financial situation isn’t bleak at all. You smell like roses. I don’t think staying with her while she blows cash is helping you or your kids. Being a divorced dad is awesome in my opinion. All the perks of fatherhood and no ingrate to placate. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/05/25 03:54 AM |
| 2 | Fellas… this one hit like a truck full of alimony papers.Hated the AI voiceover. Not worth the click imo. No surprise ending either. Verdict: Clickbait. Booo! If you want a good divorce story with a happy ending here you go: I was a dweeby ‘provider’ and my ex had an affair. We had a wedding, her new car (I walked to the train station), a baby, and bought a house. Then the company I worked for popped the fuck off and IPO’d and all the sudden we had financial security (hundreds of thousands of dollars vested overnight with more to come). Same week it v… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/05/25 03:24 AM |
| 6 | Body count?I would be offended if someone asked my body count because it is personal. Then again I consider myself a scholar and a gentleman. Reddit would consider me a brute and a chode so who cares what I think. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/05/25 03:11 AM |
| 5 | I made the mistake of talking about my experience with people that don’t understandTalk about this with a counselor and only a very tight circle of trusted confidantes. The idea is to recover from this, not to win the pain Olympics. You gotta find a way to show up to work with a positive attitude, even on bad days. It’s hard. Negative energy in the workplace is bad news. Ask yourself what you can do in the morning to have a great day no matter what life throws at you. Mine are forcing a smile on my face first thing in the morning for a new day with new possibilities (now it’s … | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/05/25 10:24 PM |
| 11 | I asked my daughter what would make her happy“Some things in life don’t work out the way we hope. But we make the best of it. Let’s go to the park and get some ice cream.” | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/05/25 05:43 PM |
| 2 | Legal AdviceCS goes up not down. Use state calculator and pay it down to penny. Health insurance goes into the calculator but not dollar for dollar. Equity only payout growth during marriage. Extracurriculars generally income proportional. I have that in my decree but what I do is just pay 100% for the ones I want her in and coach the teams. If she says send me $1000 for some ritzy thing I just respond with my receipts and say ok fine but you actually owe me $600 for xyz. Never get those emails anymore, qui… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/05/25 05:35 PM |
| 1 | My son told me mom hit himSounds like a great kid. Keep doing what you’re doing. Don’t let the mom’s antics distract you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/05/25 05:24 PM |
| 4 | My son told me mom hit himMaybe the GAL will help you get more custody of your son. My advice would be focus on your son’s growth and development. Take him golfing, hiking, fishing etc. Make sure he is doing his homework and help him with it. Make sure you’re feeding him nutritious food and limit the sugar. Tell him you love him and you’re proud of him frequently. Limit the divorce chatter and tell him, “We make the best of it.” Plan something fun for the summer so he has something to look forward to. Coach his sports te… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/05/25 03:02 PM |
| 6 | I didn’t realize how much I was leaking until I started tracking it…Sounds like self improvement. Good for you! | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/05/25 12:14 AM |
| 3 | I’ve reached my breaking point!You do need therapy man. And it’ll help you in more ways than just moving on. It’ll help you make new dreams and goals and smell the roses. You don’t need vengeance. The desire for it is only hurting yourself. I will point out the obvious that some goon shacking up with a single mom proclaiming he’s now the father is a shameful pathetic clown. Rise above it! The facade of their fake blended family will evaporate, probably why he feels the need to say this nonsense. Become the man and father you … | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/05/25 04:53 PM |
| 5 | Does anyone else just feel like a total pussy when it's almost all done?You have the power to change the way you think about songs, events, dates, etc. Just take them back and change the meaning. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/05/25 04:47 PM |
| 3 | Does anyone else just feel like a total pussy when it's almost all done?Couple years from now this stuff won’t trigger you. Also advise taking things back that might trigger you. For example I went on a date at the bar where my ex met her AP. Used to get all triggered when I passed it. I just went there and had a good time and now it’s just another bar. Another one is Christmas Eve and Christmas where she left with some lame excuse that I bought to go see her secret boyfriend. I just took Christmas back for myself and now throw parties for my family which are more w… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/05/25 04:46 PM |
| 30 | Why do they never level up?Since we get stung immediately we are forced to make changes. They get a wad of cash that they don’t know how to manage and it’s a slow drip to misery. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/05/25 04:02 PM |
| 2 | Is it wrong to start a new relationship while still co-living with my ex for our child’s sake?Wasn’t meant to be condescending or anything just my 2c | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/05/25 03:55 PM |
| 4 | Is it wrong to start a new relationship while still co-living with my ex for our child’s sake?Handle your business and figure out your living situation. Not gonna have any luck without your own place anyway. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/05/25 01:09 AM |
| 17 | What do you wish your lawyer told you during your divorce?Some of it is specific and would dox myself but the general guidance is don’t antagonize stbx, stay out of jail, keep your job. Think two years ahead. Talk to a counselor about hurt feelings so you don’t make a mistake. Less is more with communications. Write nothing; use the knowledge that every single thing you communicate in writing will be taken in the worst possible light by the powers that be. So just write nothing. Sooner you block text and phone and get onto email the better. Wheel and d… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/05/25 08:38 PM |
| 0 | Master Class in Delusion - PdiddyWhat trauma? There are plenty of real victims out there this ho is a victim of her own ambition. Tell your daughters not to date rap stars. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/05/25 06:48 AM |
| 2 | Master Class in Delusion - PdiddyFine but you’re white knighting. There’s always someone rushing in to defend a thot. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/05/25 06:01 AM |
| 5 | Money and Narc WifeWell at least the guys on this forum get it. I resolved this issue in my head in counseling. Basically comes down to life isn’t fair but it can still be wonderful. It sucks that the reward for running a tight ship is nothing but penalties. But you know what? You have your health, new opportunities, and life itself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/05/25 05:59 AM |
| 1 | Ex tries to usurp opportunities with the kids. Advice/commiseration?Count your blessings brother. Read a few posts on here then look around and smell the roses. I love being a divorced dad lol. You know what no ex wife can spoil? Reading to your kids at night. More magical than any $10k Disney trip. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/05/25 05:51 AM |
| 17 | What do you wish your lawyer told you during your divorce?This is why I recommend consulting with ten lawyers. Not even joking. Put in the time, get better at asking questions. I had a consult that cost $400. Dude gave me 50 tips that were epic. Told me how to spend my money on myself during separation and not even get close to dissipation lol I dropped like $20k and set up my new life most excellent. On a particularly squirrelly issue one of his lines was, “never mention this outside this room.” His last words were, “you can’t afford me, good luck.” | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/05/25 05:25 AM |
| 3 | Children exchange dramaHow about dashcam with audio? | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/05/25 05:20 AM |
| 10 | Has reconciliation ever worked?Perfect setup for some Karen to come in here and be like “that’s not true! I broke up with my husband to find myself. After my boyfriend Chad dumped me I went back to my husband and we have been so happy for the last 6 months.” | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/05/25 02:50 PM |
| 4 | Married 10 yearsDon’t tell her shit just go back home. Have a recording device or something. Let her rant and threaten you on the record. Then pounce in court. Damn right she’s trying to kick you out. She already did. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/05/25 08:16 PM |
| 7 | Went a day spaGood for you. Self care is critical during divorce. I haven’t had to get a massage in years but my masseuse was definitely part of my divorce team along with lawyer, accountant, counselor, pastor, and family members. Shit we were the fuckin A team, of course everything came up aces. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/05/25 03:55 PM |
| 12 | Mediation is over…By the way, if you accepted this shitty deal she would STILL tell people you’re a deadbeat leech. She’s gonna say that no matter what, might as well get the legal amount you’re entitled to and this ain’t it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/05/25 02:40 PM |
| 7 | STBX - Access To Her ChatGPTWhen you’re hoping there is some important insight in the mind of a cheater, you find out they did it because they wanted to and they will justify it with nonsense. The end. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/05/25 02:37 PM |
| 1 | Mediation is over…Ignore her words. She is manipulating you. The proof is in the pudding. The only words that matter are those settlement offers. And it is very plain what is happening here. She thinks she’s gonna ride off into the sunset with the house, kids, and 90% of her income? Not how it works in America. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/05/25 05:38 AM |
| 3 | Mediation is over…Uh ok what about the other $30k? lol I think everyone who says take the deal sucks at math. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/05/25 05:34 AM |
| 1 | Mediation is over…Can’t believe men on this thread are saying take the deal. The deal was a scam and it got sniffed out lol. None of us would even dare offer a scam deal like that if the shoe were on the other foot. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/05/25 05:32 AM |
| 2 | Mediation is over…Yes it is in a case where the wife is trying to take $40k in equity for closing costs on a cash out refi? Wtf you try that and see if that flies. Oh her bonus shouldn’t count as income for CS? Try that one too. This deal she proposed is ass and I’m glad he didn’t sign and no way this could be a fuck up even if it costs another $15k and 6 months to sort out. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/05/25 05:30 AM |
| 5 | Mediation is over…Read the deal again. None of us that were in the wife’s position got anything close to a sweetheart deal like that. Ex wife is trying to fleece him and got called on it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/05/25 05:28 AM |
| 5 | Mediation is over…Fine but look at the specifics of this deal. She was getting the good side of every single issue. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/05/25 05:22 AM |
| 9 | Mediation is over…Good thing your attorney reviewed it. Your ex was trying to lowball you so that you would accept the first halfway decent offer. It almost worked. This is actually a negotiating tactic that we should employ but that’s beside the point. Let this thing play out. A better offer or judgement is coming. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/05/25 05:21 AM |
| 3 | Is this realistic?Punch those numbers into California state child support calculator. If you file for divorce immediately you can probably get out of alimony but you’ll have to support ex during divorce so she’ll drag her feet to string it along. Basically think hard about how to ram this divorce through as quickly as possible. Once you get a CS number that meets the state guidelines, offer her half of that. When the time is right offer the real amount for a signature to finalize the divorce. No to alimony. Would… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/05/25 05:15 AM |
| 6 | Is this realistic?Tell us the state, how long you’ve been married, how much you make, and how much she makes. Then we could give you a ballpark of what is reasonable. If someone demanded $3k a month from me I would laugh in their face. But I did my homework. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/05/25 03:39 AM |
| 1 | Vivid dreams, night terrorsI got you brother. Good time for new healthy routines. Hit gym and get buff. Go to bed at a decent hour. Read in bed with a cup of tea. Do some light yoga before bed and in the morning. You know what to do to get a good nights sleep, but you have to JUST DO IT. Healthy living is your ticket. Good luck. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/05/25 08:45 PM |
| 2 | My son’s mother is trying to ruin me.I had a North Star: when this is all said and done I need a positive cash flow situation to build a new “life by design” (counselor’s words). Taking a smaller cut of the home equity didn’t impede that goal. Keeping my retirement unscathed helped that goal. Agreeing on the state standard support number didn’t impede. Paying 10 lawyers to give me the lay of the land and give me multiple perspectives was the winning move. Combined that with a negotiating strategy of don’t tell her what I want but g… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/05/25 06:41 PM |
| 1 | Should I be trembling my stbxw is shopping for this?Maybe she searched it to mess with you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/05/25 05:57 PM |
| 2 | Should I be trembling my stbxw is shopping for this?Good lol once the divorce is in motion all surveillance and even thought about what she’s doing needs to stop. But yes I think you can counteract this witchy stuff by living right and making good healthy habits. This witchcraft stuff works on people who are carrying negative energy. Make your new life wonderful. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/05/25 05:44 PM |
| 5 | Should I be trembling my stbxw is shopping for this?How do you know what she’s shopping for? Focus on yourself buddy. But I would get right with God or focus on your own spirituality as well. I don’t think it would hurt to get some crosses in your house and start saying the Lord’s Prayer out loud. Personally I think there are dark forces and witchcraft among us. Either way don’t get sucked into negativity or victim mentality. Practice gratitude instead even being grateful for cold glass of water or soft pillow is extremely powerful. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/05/25 05:32 PM |
| 4 | My son’s mother is trying to ruin me.Yes I also follow that approach now that I’m out of the frying pan. My old man told me it was ok to not play this game when I was panicking about legal bills and custody battles. That unlocked my brain that no one can force me to do anything. The $60k legal bills and out of money horror stories on here are the scariest to me. Another approach would be like ok shit I guess I just have to pay my ex to be a nanny. That is still better than being broke and not seeing your kid imo. It’s tough because… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/05/25 03:33 PM |
| 3 | My son’s mother is trying to ruin me.Rp has an answer to this problem. Rather than showing vindictive ex wife your soft spot, you adopt an idgaf attitude. Probably too late with $60k gone and the ex wife knowing his soft spot. An alternative to trying to slay a dragon in one sided family court is simply not to play. You’ll have a chance to tell your kid the truth someday. And they will believe you because you’re telling the truth. I’ll tell you how I avoided all this nonsense. I told my ex wife who was doing and saying all this cra… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/05/25 02:40 PM |
| 2 | How to get mental clarity and energy back?My productivity and focus dropped big time and never really recovered. The trick to keeping my job was a positive attitude. And I got that positive attitude by being happy and grateful and playing a shit ton of golf. I think irritability and impatience would have cost me my job. Surprisingly easy to nip that in the bud without waking up to lousy selfish cheater. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/05/25 06:09 PM |
| 2 | How to get mental clarity and energy back?Excellent advice. I’ll add that you can use this horrible experience to have compassion for others. So rather than get annoyed at slights you say, “hey maybe that guy is having a rough go of it.” | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/05/25 06:06 PM |
| 1 | CohabitationThanks I tend to agree. If I help her get an IRA setup (just the homework not the $$), that would at least provide an offset against my own in a worst case scenario. So I guess you are recommending pre nup with house and retirement locked down? Or is it just not possible to protect myself in this situation where I’m making 3x as much? | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/05/25 05:45 PM |
| 17 | Saw Ex Brother in Law Today who promised he would put 'make me pay' the next time he saw meDon’t fight. Will end in charges or stab wounds. Buddy won a bar fight against his baby mama’s new boyfriend. Got 3 years in the slammer and ruined his life. There’s no upside. Quit thinking about it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/05/25 05:44 PM |
| 2 | Saw Ex Brother in Law Today who promised he would put 'make me pay' the next time he saw meComment removed by Reddit lol I bet it was a great answer. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/05/25 05:33 PM |
| 3 | Saw Ex Brother in Law Today who promised he would put 'make me pay' the next time he saw meLmao would love more deets about the fight | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/05/25 05:32 PM |
| 4 | Vindictive wifeFamily court | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/05/25 05:04 PM |
| 1 | Why can’t I stop making excuses?Talk to a counselor about this to get some good ideas to solve your problems. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/05/25 03:15 PM |
| 8 | Having kids meet ex-spouse’s new SO?I just put it in my “let it go” file. Be the father of the year and your kids will be fine. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/05/25 03:13 PM |
| 5 | How to match her coldness and indifference?Hit the gym and get buff. Takes like 3 months. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/05/25 03:10 PM |
| 5 | I made it??? | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/05/25 03:09 PM |
| 3 | Possible DivorceTalk to military chaplain or counselor. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/05/25 06:02 AM |
| 17 | Vindictive wifeYou are on thin ice. Become a model citizen. Push-ups first thing in the morning a good place to start. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/05/25 05:47 AM |
| 10 | Am I too nice/friendly to my ex?Buy a gift for your girlfriend instead. Encourage your children to get a gift for their mother. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/05/25 11:16 PM |
| 5 | I made itOutstanding result. Plz share the specific good moves you made when you see someone in your shoes here. My winning move was NOT re-upping my lawyer retainer. I had the info, I knew how it was gonna play out, I knew the strengths and weaknesses of my case, and negotiated based on what my ex wanted (not what was fair or right). Some say oh sure your ex wasn’t crazy like mine. I think we all have the same ex. I think we all have the same attorneys, and my calculated game theory approach was get out… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/05/25 07:25 PM |
| 2 | When did you realize what you do will never be enough?My favorite story in the last month!! Most excellent. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/05/25 10:51 PM |
| 3 | When did you realize what you do will never be enough?I will never ever do a joint account again. If someone tells me that’s what I should be doing, I will have no problem telling them stfu and myob. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/05/25 10:47 PM |
| 12 | Proof of stealing marital fundsPut yourself in the judge’s shoes. They do not want to do financial analysis. You need a cover sheet with the bare bones meat and potatoes that a third grader can understand. Dates and amounts of the big whopper transfers on top. Dates and amounts and addresses of the big whopper RE purchases below that. Total calculated money laundered in bold at the bottom. Stacks of the papers from the forensic accountant underneath as supplements. A clean request for a judgement in your favor itemized in 3 o… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/05/25 07:22 PM |
| 2 | When did you get out of flight modeCorrect! Are we victims or do we have a RARE opportunity to build a new better life. Option 2 will get you what you really want. Option 1 sucks. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/05/25 05:32 PM |
| 4 | When did you get out of flight mode3 months of heavy lifting in the gym while taking great care of yourself is step one. It’s not the whole mission but it will build momentum and you will feel good about yourself. Become a better father… coach the teams, read to the young kids, work on being more patient, more loving, etc. Hold down your job. Excel at it. Come in with a positive attitude no matter what is going on. Cultivate friendships. Hobbies are the easiest way. Anyone who likes golf is a friend of mine. Become an interesting… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/05/25 05:29 PM |
| 2 | Hello brothers - I think I am lonelyGolf cured me from the funk and I am convinced it is the number one divorce cure for men. I had no interest in it whatsoever and just tried it out of desperation. Your local public track has a men’s club where you get discounted greens fees and you will make dozens of friends very easily. Practicing at the driving range is therapeutic. The game is different from other sports and if you catch the bug you will have something interesting to study and tinker with that makes divorce nonsense simply m… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/05/25 07:59 AM |
| 3 | Haven't been here for a while updateHope everything works out for you and your kids. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/05/25 07:48 AM |
| 25 | Wife said she wants a divorce for autonomy.I’d bet $100 (or 12.5% of a monthly child support payment) that it is her who is cheating. My ex said this same stupid shit. Caught her in a 6 month affair. We had a toddler. 5 or 6 years later I’d like to thank that guy. I don’t think my ex would thank him cuz he gave her stds and possibly cancer. Meanwhile I’ve got more money than ever. She had the gall to ask for my tax refund because she just has so many problems. I went to Vegas instead 🏌️♂️ | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/05/25 06:56 PM |
| 3 | One step forward, two steps backIt’ll be like that for a while. Expect a breakthrough in due time. Be ready for it. Not that it’ll make you feel better but her rebound relationship is not anything to be jealous about. Let him have her. My ex moved a new boyfriend into the house I bought her a week after the ink was dry. She bought a $70k truck and went on a shopping spree. All while I was living in an apartment trying to keep my job. But good things come from patience and resilience. Writing 6 years later from my fat golf cour… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/05/25 06:31 PM |
| 9 | How I Used AI as a “Shadow Attorney”Nice write up. I agree these tools will change the divorce game. I don’t wish ill on attorneys in general (I actually had an ethical attorney), but we can use these tools to get a better outcome at a fraction of the cost. We need to know how to use these tools anyway. If I were getting divorced today, I would not put down the retainer. I would do it myself with AI help. Maybe pay a lawyer $300 for an hour to review my proposals. Granted I’ve been on these boards long enough to know the do’s and … | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/05/25 09:51 AM |
| 2 | At a lossWonderful comment. I would add that a counselor can help in ways that might not be apparent. Their notes can be used as evidence. “Patient is dealing with a false allegation” or “patient lost income due to false allegation” could be the ticket. That could have more weight than 100 letters from friends and family. My own personal triumph was realizing, “I don’t need to make anyone proud. I need to make myself proud.” It results in self respect which is priceless. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/05/25 08:31 AM |
| 1 | At a lossMy dad presented me this option when I was deep in the divorce blues. He drew a diagram of the US with an arrow pointing to the other side of the country. That unlocked my brain that no one, not even a judge, can force me into an untenable situation. It helped me see that I had leverage, and it was much much stronger than my ex’s. She wants to play any games with me at all? Kiss your child support goodbye. Don’t believe me? Let’s see what happens when the rubber meets the road. If you believe yo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/05/25 08:20 AM |
| 1 | How did you make it work?Balance the budget. Study your cash flows. Years 1 and 2 were tight financially. Then you wake up one day with no student loans, no credit card payment, no car payment, and a couple pay increases. The important things I did were all about improving future cash flows. Don’t feel bad for spending money just take control of your cash flows. Getting buff and updating your wardrobe (just a few high quality items) is worth a raise or promotion at nearly every workplace in America. Good luck. Solving t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/05/25 07:50 AM |
| 4 | Coming to terms with serial divorcee motherImo the main problem with marriage is not hurt feelings. It’s having to pay your ex. People that haven’t had to do this will not understand. You have to pay out the nose and the other person acts as if they earned all the money. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/05/25 07:04 AM |
| 24 | Very happily married and wife suddenly in big rush to leaveMy addition to the excellent comment section is to point out if I knew then what I know now, I would’ve ignored my ex wife way more. I wasted too much time trying to understand her choices. It’s obvious in hindsight she was horrible and my life would get way better with her gone. You have been treated horribly. Do not waste compassion or energy on this person. Use your efforts on people who deserve them (starting with yourself). I would ignore ex wife as much as possible starting immediately. Ge… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/05/25 02:06 PM |
| 4 | Wife Wants Divorce, Affair?Same same same. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/05/25 03:42 PM |
| 4 | Wife Wants Divorce, Affair?To what end? She’s gainfully employed his divorce will be fine, he’s catching an inheritance or some other windfall soon enough. He ain’t getting any play and his spouse is acting bitchy. This is a dream scenario. Who cares if she’s having an affair he is onto the next. Kids will be proud of him when he gets buff and enjoys his life again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/05/25 03:40 PM |
| 18 | Wife Wants Divorce, Affair?No bjs in 15 years and dead bedroom for 3 years and she’s filing for divorce… affair irrelevant. Move on let her go. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/05/25 03:38 PM |
| 1 | I’m out of the frying panScary man. Glad you are alive and thriving. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/25 06:54 PM |
| 1 | Should I ask for alimonyNot even enough for a down payment. I’d just add $12k to the asset split and be done with this. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/25 06:33 PM |
| 1 | Should I ask for alimonyMuch easier to sell as well. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/25 06:31 PM |
| 3 | Should I ask for alimonyIn lieu of alimony get a bigger equity check is my 2c. You may or may not get that alimony in court and if so it would be only for a year or so. If she loses her job you won’t get paid. Cleanest option is get more money upfront. Good luck. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/25 06:30 PM |
| 7 | Should I block her number after all this is done?I would block on phone and switch to email only immediately. I have a kid and this works great and has kept me out of trouble. Email is the much much better option to communicate divorce logistics imo. Searchable, no screenshots, no nonsense. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/25 06:27 PM |
| 14 | 50 something yo Divorced Cougars picking up 30 year oldsDon’t let it get to you man. The reality is much different than this fantasy world you’ve cooked up. The thirty year old alpha you’re talking about is actually just a random dude with beer goggles. If he was really Chad he’d be doing a lot better than bar crawls for cougars. Sure people glam up to go to the bars to get dicked down. This really bothered me for awhile too cuz that’s exactly what my ex did to end our marriage. Naturally I wanted a piece of the action when I got divorced. The bar an… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/25 09:45 PM |
| 3 | What helped you heal?Gym and golf | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/25 02:06 AM |
| 4 | Going though a divorce with no kidsThe second deal she proposed is great for you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/25 03:15 PM |
| 3 | Back at in dark placeCounter offense. Prove her lies then go on offense and request more time with your kids, less CS, more special holidays, whatever you can sell. Catch her making a mistake and pounce. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/25 04:21 AM |
| 15 | What a mess18 months of bs then this will just be a blip. Don’t take a plea deal if you didn’t hit her there is no evidence and you won’t be convicted. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/04/25 07:11 PM |
| 36 | Walk away wife syndrome - an observationMine had an affair when the baby was 18 months old. She got the wedding, car, house, and baby. Mission accomplished and my marginal utility was zero. She started the affair the same week my employer stock options released. We had financial security for the first time in our marriage. I was so proud of our accomplishments and she’s out banging some random ex con from the bar. Jokes on her tho. Divorce turned out to be a good thing for me and everything improved. Getting her off my payroll made ev… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/04/25 04:06 PM |
| 2 | STXW FamilyWe are men so we are wrong and must be told so minimum 10x per day. Our shared experience and that of every other divorced man is wrong and we must be corrected. I had a nice relationship with my in laws up until the day her affair came to light. Then it was all about how much money I would be paying so they wouldn’t have to. Exactly what the commenter was referring to. bUt EvRY dIV0rcE iS dIfFrEnT | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/04/25 03:59 PM |
| 1 | Ripped off like stitches over a femoral arteryCan you setup a badass man cave now that the ol shrew is outta there? | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/04/25 03:05 AM |
| 0 | Loudest Voices Are Usually Wrong, but hey, They Make a Lot of Money.Sounds like your whole outlook is about how to keep a woman around. It has been shown to have the opposite effect. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/25 09:29 PM |
| 1 | Loudest Voices Are Usually Wrong, but hey, They Make a Lot of Money.I found red pill to be exactly what the doctor ordered. Alienated a bunch of people in my red pill rage days but whatever I got buff and got my money right and good things started to happen. Unfortunately it got conflated with pickup artists so it’s totally taboo. It pretty much answered the question, “why did my ex have an affair with a bad boy ex con when she had a dweeby house boy financing her every whim?” All the female counselors in the world get that one wrong and red pill answers it corr… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/25 09:01 PM |
| 1 | Divorced Dad seeking advice !Not hating on you one bit brother. Decision making is extremely difficult under stress, pressure, depression, etc. This story happens so often so don’t take it personally. These ex wives do get their just desserts (greed and treachery are punishments). For everyone that says no it doesn’t, they just can’t see it. By the time it happens you won’t care to celebrate. Keep in mind that big houses do not make people happy. $12k in the hole isn’t so bad. You’ll claw your way out one way or another and… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/25 07:12 PM |
| 22 | Did anyone develop kinksMine are playing golf anytime I want and having a wallet stuffed with cash. Any love interest who messes with those is dq’d. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/25 03:56 PM |
| 2 | Wife left me but kept some posts.Self confidence and self respect are critical to your recovery. 3 months of weight training is your ticket. Update your wardrobe and hairstyle while you’re at it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/25 03:27 PM |
| 1 | Divorced Dad seeking advice !You fell for an extortion scam with your kid as leverage. It’s very common. Make sure she can’t use the same leverage when you claw your way out. When my ex tried to extort me like this I sniffed it out and said, “my turn to party, you watch the kid.” Kid was dropped off to me in 15 minutes. Divorcing men take heed of OP’s story. If you operate with fear and show her your soft spots, she will take everything and more. Another route that people hate: if you are willing to get up and walk away and… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/25 03:20 PM |
| 7 | Never enoughRead the book No More Mr. Nice Guy. The result of your first sentence is common and predictable. Sounds like you’re having an identity crisis. Go to a counselor so you can figure out what kind of life you want to live if she’s not in it. I used to simp for my ex wife. Now my life is 1000x better. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/25 02:29 PM |
| 2 | My parents are banned from my daughter...apparently.Take the children to your parents. Only insane people would try to keep children from loving grandparents. That goes for us too gentlemen. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/04/25 11:26 PM |
| 7 | Wife left me but kept some posts.Her thoughts and opinions on the matter are not important to your new dreams and goals. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/04/25 11:13 PM |
| 4 | I need a pick me up!Go to gym and get buff. Update wardrobe and get a fancy new hairstyle. It’ll get your self confidence and self respect back. Women will start checking you out and trying to get a shot at the champ. Spend the next three months getting buff and everything in your life will improve dramatically. Your boss will even give you a raise it’s crazy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/04/25 11:08 PM |
| 1 | Deviating order-Help pleaseThe final CS order shouldn’t crush you. Idk about SD laws but my $800 payment with similar income differential turned out to be a massive discount just getting ex off my payroll. You spending too much on attorney for not much in return. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/04/25 05:11 PM |
| 1 | Deviating order-Help pleaseI had a similar situation. I mediated it out of court where I successfully argued “you already got the cash from the irregular W2. Here are my paystubs, CS gets calculated from that.” The key to negotiation is acting like you are giving away the farm with every point. Then you deftly slide in your non negotiables. Mine was no alimony on 7 year marriage. So I was hemming and hawing about paying 2/3 of the extracurriculars (which I didn’t mind bc I knew I was putting kid in whatever extras I wante… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/04/25 05:00 PM |
| 3 | Ex falsely accused me of threating behaviour and now acts like nothing happenedThey all do this shit. Stick to the court orders and don’t talk to her in person or over text. Smile at your kids and ignore her at exchanges. Just drive off. Email for things that must be communicated. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/04/25 04:54 PM |
| 2 | MIL Interventions and burning the marriage shipMy ex MIL came around after a few years. I would advise keeping her at arms length but don’t burn any bridges. It paid dividends for me. Now we are friendly with each other and there is no animosity. She’s not the one that cheated on me. I just put myself in her shoes for one minute and realized she wants to see her grandkid for a few long weekends a year. I hated her for a while but my life is much more peaceful with one less enemy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/04/25 04:49 PM |
| 1 | Am I wrong?If he gave the kids a funky haircut he might have problems 🤣 | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/04/25 02:42 AM |
| 2 | Order of protectionYeah but if we started calling our exes business contacts like this, we would get in huge trouble. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/04/25 12:53 AM |
| 3 | Order of protectionCan you get proof of her threatening your work contacts? This seems like you could sue her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/04/25 12:52 AM |
| 8 | Sad lonely and lostWhen I was at this point I picked up golf in a desperate attempt and it worked. It’s very social, out in nature, tons of jokes and laughter. It’s a cure for divorce and loneliness. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/04/25 12:49 AM |
| 4 | Advice: My 6 yo recent statementDecorate her new room to the nines. Badass loft bed a good place to start. Posters and lights from Amazon are super cheap. Read to her in bed every night without fail. Eat dinner at the table without electronics. Everything she needs including clothes, shoes, coat should be at your house. Just don’t count on the ex for anything at all. I kept all the divorce chatter to a bare minimum. Rather I went all in on making my house an enriching place to grow up. I think your best bet is weather the tran… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/04/25 12:34 AM |
| 1 | Finances during separationManage your attorney to minimize costs. Very common for them to push papers back and forth for a few years. If she’s filing motions you’ll need to respond. Keep the train on the tracks and get to the finish line. At the end it’s like two pages of the stuff we talk about on here and everything in the middle is nonsense. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/04/25 04:22 AM |
| 4 | Finances during separationYou need a lawyer and you better have filed for divorce already. Tell your lawyer to get the final hearing scheduled asap. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/04/25 03:30 PM |
| 7 | Keeping my distanceEx wives belong at arm’s length. I made the mistake in the early days of being her safety net. It backfired every time and I learned my lesson. That said if she didn’t cheat maybe there’s a chance to rekindle it but I think you are correct to just go full robot mode. It keeps you out of trouble and gives you peace. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/04/25 06:24 PM |
| 11 | Had to lawyer up on my ex =/Hold the line!!! lol my ex had a hare brained idea she was gonna move our kid across the country for her weirdo boyfriends army post. I was all stressed out. Her parents called me, tipped me off on her evil plans (she tried to sic the cops on me to put this plan in motion), and her own mother who I disliked until now said “we will not let that happen”. Called my lawyer who said, “Not gonna happen don’t worry about it.” | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/04/25 05:55 PM |
| 1 | How did yall split the money?Back then restricted stocks were a gray area. Are they income or assets? Heard many different answers to that question. My W2’s were showing my income as 350k with stocks. It was an IPO situation I don’t make that kinda cheddar and I was like no I ain’t making $350k I make $85k. If I was making $350k to my exes $40k I was gonna get maxed out on everything including 16 years of child support lol. But several lawyers did tell me stocks GRANTED (even unvested) during the marriage are community prop… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/04/25 04:14 PM |
| 1 | Need help. Im completely lost.Everything is probably decided at the county level so talk to the attorneys in the larger cities in your county. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/04/25 08:23 AM |
| 3 | Need to know I am not crazy or wrong hereTell her you’ll give her $1000 if she’s out by Sunday at 5pm. Otherwise she gets nothing. To me it’s just faster easier cheaper and more effective than trying to fight with her in court where they might hack you much worse plus lawyers fees and months of bs. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/04/25 06:11 PM |
| 3 | How did yall split the money?Married 7 years or so. Yeah we mediated it. I took L’s on most standard issues (lowball equity buyout, extracurriculars & daycare, my stocks that had been granted but not vested got split, etc). But I got off with no alimony, tax preferences, and the parenting plan I wanted, my retirement didn’t get touched but half of it came out of my equity. Still got a nice fat check in less than 9 months good for a dp on a way fatter nicer house. Overall I think I did pretty good in mediation while others w… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/04/25 05:55 PM |
| 2 | How did yall split the money?She got the pie I got the crumbs. But getting her off my payroll opened up a giant cash flow and I’m back on top. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/04/25 05:08 PM |
| 2 | Need help. Im completely lost.A lot of the horror stories start with picking one random attorney. My strategy was talk to ten attorneys so I knew best case, worst case, likely case. I got many strategies and good ideas. I could tell who the scammers were. I did these meetings in their office to build rapport. Yes it cost time and money but the legal advice at consultations comes at a steep discount even if it’s $100. The more local expert legal knowledge you can get early in the game, the better. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/04/25 04:05 PM |
| 7 | 45M, Law Firm Partner, $350k/yr — Planning Divorce, SAHM Wife — What Does My Future Look Like?If you like golf and make $350k divorced life gonna be awesome. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/25 08:10 AM |
| 1 | Divorce AdviceTexas child support calculator online will give you a rough idea. Have mediator do the exact calculations. $1000 sounds ballpark but it should be down to the penny. Health / dental gives you a credit but may not be dollar for dollar. In my experience the stbx wife is usually “nice” about all this until you say no. There is no long term benefit to acquiescing unless you are getting something in return. The difference between getting your money in say 3 months vs 3 years alone is worth big money. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/04/25 04:09 PM |
| 4 | Divorce AdviceYou gonna get steam rolled bro. I like that you’re not thinking with anger but you can’t just roll over either. This is a very common situation. You need to look out for number one. And there’s a strong likelihood Buster moves in before the ink is dry. Read the book no more Mr nice guy. You don’t have to be a jerk about it but you can say No. That’s actually better for everyone in the long run. Frankly I wouldn’t care if she stays in the house or not cuz it shouldn’t affect you. But I would get … | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/04/25 03:55 PM |
| 9 | Loss of friends and changes in lifestyleI made new friends after divorce. My old friends eventually came back around when the dark thunder clouds that I was carrying around went away. I think the word of the day is compassion. Give yourself grace and give these old band guys grace. Yes it would have been nice for them to take you as you are and help you in your time or need. Don't take it personally. As much as it hurts, they have some reason for behaving this way that might not be about you. Even if it is about you it’s more about th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/04/25 07:16 PM |
| 2 | Suggestions dealing with hostile ex trying to annoy me with new boyfriendAs soon as I started doing that exchanges became stress free. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/04/25 05:20 PM |
| 5 | Suggestions dealing with hostile ex trying to annoy me with new boyfriendIgnore him and smile at your children at exchanges. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/04/25 02:23 AM |
| 2 | First appointment with my attorney to initiate the divorce will happen on Friday. What questions should I ask to be most prepared?Bring a notebook with questions and take notes. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/04/25 05:54 PM |
| 1 | Feeling pretty hopeless (28M)In a couple years the lawyers will say growing up is not a significant change of circumstances to alter the parenting plan. That said being a divorced dad is great and your short marriage won’t screw you on alimony. I would say no alimony, no college payments, nothing but splitting the assets accrued in the marriage and child support. Don’t tell your ex about your raise… ever. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/04/25 07:36 AM |
| 2 | Tired of itThis is a very important step. Idk why you’re saying it’s not relevant it’s a priority. You need to ask your lawyer if you can open a new account and put your checks in there. From there, you’ll probably have to pay most bills and/or mortgage (status quo) but at least you can budget. What type of court order specifically is preventing you from re directing your paychecks? Another way to do this is as soon as the money hits the joint account (hers and yours), pay the bills. She’ll yell and scream… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/25 03:15 PM |
| 2 | Ex wife kicked me off our shared bank account.Yes talk to an attorney. Find out if there’s anything about the mediator conflict of interest or signing this agreement under false pretenses. For example text messages about her misrepresenting the agreement. Note to other men do not make this mistake. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/25 07:31 AM |
| 2 | Married teacher arrested for the alleged sexual abuse of her 15-year-old student has claimed to police "everybody" targets her over her good looksWell new info is out and you were completely wrong. | /r/PussyPassDenied | 09/04/25 01:45 AM |
| 1 | Financial trouble AFTER the divorceDon’t get mad, this is very very standard. It’s just the price of divorce for breadwinner. Recoup against other obligations but NOT CS or alimony. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/25 04:43 PM |
| 2 | Financial trouble AFTER the divorceMake sure you are on solid ground with this utility bill. It better be in the agreement and this bill specifically needs to fall under the agreement. In my opinion and I am NAL, no you won’t get in trouble for recouping this against other agreed (not state federal laws like CS and alimony) expenses. You would just be going tit for tat. But you need to send the email with the bill as I described before you do anything. If you end up in court you want to be the one in the right and if anyone’s att… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/25 04:41 PM |
| 5 | Financial trouble AFTER the divorceYou can send her the bill and hope she pays. If she doesn’t pay you’re just looking at more penalties and a hit to YOUR credit with no recourse. I would send a brief, informative, friendly, and firm email. “Dear Nancy, per the agreement, please pay the attached utility bill in the amount of $365.49 no later than April 15.” Also attach the agreement. If she doesn’t pay before the deadline (when the bill gets fatter or collections), pay it yourself. I think this is pretty likely. Recoup the funds … | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/25 04:26 PM |
| 1 | MediationIf you have a halfway decent mediator the judge will likely rubber stamp the agreement. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/25 04:16 PM |
| 5 | Wife holds all the cardsVery good buddy. Wish AI was around when I was getting divorced. You’re on the right track my advice is avoid big mistakes. Not everything needs to be perfect but the big stuff needs to be handled with skill. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/25 03:50 AM |
| 1 | We still don't ask a women out twice correct?I would just throw out another date at your convenience. Spin plates on the apps so you have more options and greater likelihood of getting a date. I also found its feast or famine for whatever reason. I’d go a month ice cold then have 3 women banging down my door. It got tiring eventually. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/25 02:13 AM |
| 10 | How do you get past the fact that your ex technically “has it easy” now… with her disregarding all of your effort, and shaping the entire situation as if she was a victim of the marriage.I remember thinking my ex had life on easy street. It lasted for like 2 years then her horrible spending and decision making caught up to her. I recovered just fine without her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/25 01:55 AM |
| 6 | Ex wife admits she is marrying new guy because he is a good dadHe is not making any assumptions wtf. He knows what’s best for his children and he’s giving us a rare bit of experience and wisdom. He could’ve been all mad about little league and golf with stepdad or he could find the silver linings and make the best of it. Now he gets to sit here and say life is good and my kids are on track. What kind of nightmare is that? | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/04/25 01:55 PM |
| 3 | Tell her you are brokeThat sounds fantastic. What’s the catch? | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/04/25 03:49 PM |
| 1 | I can't meet his kids because his ex will freak outIntroduce you to his kids and ignore his ex. If he’s really providing extra support he can shut that down to minimum if ex pulls funny business. If his kids are alienated from him he can show them the binder when they grow up. Trying to tell him to do this won’t work tho. I’m sure he’s perfectly content to have a secret girlfriend. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/04/25 03:48 PM |
| 2 | I can't meet his kids because his ex will freak outNo the international aspect is above my pay grade. The entire situation sounds fishy and you might be getting played but idk. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/04/25 11:24 AM |
| 4 | Demand respect or keep being stepped on. It’s a choice that you can make.Yeah I agree. Some of our bedfellows here are ready to fall on their sword rather than do some homework and give it a shot to keep some of their money. I came out smelling like roses bc I was laser focused on every asset line item. Didn’t say shit to ex wife until it was crunch time. Made it easy to pitch my deals. I had 5 or 10 consults so I knew the game. Took some negotiating tips from each of them and nailed it down in mediation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/04/25 11:13 AM |
| 7 | Demand respect or keep being stepped on. It’s a choice that you can make.I hate the line “can always make more money.” No we cannot. We need to use every trick play in the playbook to keep the big numbers on our side of the ledger. I’m talking misdirection, obfuscation, omission, reverse psychology, fake one minute apology, ANYTHING to keep our paychecks going to our personal account. The ex wife always gets a fair shake. Just look at the crying posts about some poor ex wife having to pay gasp $500 per month of alimony for 18 months. Roles reversed dad is SCREWED. On… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/04/25 10:02 AM |
| 7 | Demand respect or keep being stepped on. It’s a choice that you can make.Excellent!! Drop some cash on a vacation of your own, new wardrobe, fancy new haircut, prepaid annual gym membership, etc etc. Nothing extravagant, and do the accounting to show without a shadow of a doubt it’s LESS than her bs from the last year. You go to mediation she says you’ve been dissipating assets, you come with the RECEIPTS, and she looks like a damn fool. Repeat if it goes to trial. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/04/25 09:53 AM |
| 3 | I can't meet his kids because his ex will freak outStory checks out to me. The boyfriend has no backbone and can lose his kids by pissing off his ex. This is a situation us divorced men should PREVENT. The fact that buddy can’t live his life cuz his ex is running the show is sad. If the facts are correct this guy is just a chode. If he cares more about what his estranged children in another country that he can’t even talk to think about him then the “committed partner”, he’s in a bad spot and no one should plan their life around him. If he’s fat… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/04/25 05:51 AM |
| 2 | I can't meet his kids because his ex will freak outShe has him by the balls. He needs to figure it out. I wouldn’t get wrapped up in the divorce drama at all I would just say look are we moving forward as a unit or what. Hear him out. If he can’t/won’t solve his problems and you don’t want to be second fiddle to his divorce drama you know what to do. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/04/25 05:42 AM |
| 1 | How screwed am I?Imagine your new life and make it happen. Best case scenario you both step up and raise happy well adjusted children. If she shits the bed you’ll figure it out. What you should do now is think about the life you want to live and make it happen. It takes resilience, composure under pressure, and being willing to change for the better. You have to take care of your personal health by drinking water, eating healthy, go to bed early with a book rather than tv, hit the gym, etc. Turns out getting buf… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/04/25 05:27 AM |
| 1 | How screwed am I?Tell your dad GENTLY the kids can’t be privy to ANY divorce details. Leave it at that. There are 1000 reasons that I won’t go into. The smoke in the house thing is very bad and harmful to the children but be VERY careful if or how you play this card bc CPS can snatch your kids, especially if they are cute and you are poor. Don’t try to avoid tension and stress, you’re getting a divorce, it will be there. Rather learn how to handle it and deal with your ex and cover your 6. It’s very difficult bu… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/04/25 04:51 AM |
| 4 | 1 Year and 8 Months Later and Still Can’t Be HappyTry Dr of Psychology or Dr of Counseling Psychology. Basically techniques and skills to curb anxiety and depression. Bottom line do more healthy stuff and find things that bring you joy. I discovered golf during this time. Practice gratitude even if it’s just a cold glass of water or a pillow to rest your head. I was depressed after ex’s affair came to light and in about 18 months I was cured. One day the colors started popping out from the sky and trees and I knew that miserable depression had … | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/04/25 01:33 AM |
| 4 | 1 Year and 8 Months Later and Still Can’t Be HappyStill early brother keep grinding and expect a breakthrough. Keep improving your life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/04/25 12:37 AM |
| 3 | CSNo I think you’re fine G. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/04/25 04:09 PM |
| 2 | Apparently my last post on this subject was TLDR-are you guys good with your ex and her AP actively driving your kid away from a sport they love?Usually horse camp is the other way around. Mom leverages the extracurricular agreement to get kid in the fanciest activities and dad foots 2/3 of the bill. Now consider that even that scenario is better than a lazy mom doing no enrichment for the kid. Stepdad is a clown for doing this but whatever let it go, and attend the games and cheer on your kid. Start getting good at focusing your attention on your kid’s growth and ignoring the ex and her people. When you gain this skill you will enjoy a … | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/04/25 11:09 PM |
| 4 | Apparently my last post on this subject was TLDR-are you guys good with your ex and her AP actively driving your kid away from a sport they love?I found coaching kids sports team on my days was the ticket to an indestructible relationship. It’s not mentioned here nearly enough just coach the kid’s team! | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/04/25 11:04 PM |
| 1 | Check this out..Extrapolating based on your 13% number which represents the floor. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/04/25 10:57 PM |
| 2 | Check this out..Red pill has been on this for ages. My conclusion is once the bjs stop get out. That’s the foolproof sign she’s no longer attracted to you. Side note they usually stop on the wedding day. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/04/25 10:11 PM |
| 1 | Check this out..Your data is not accurate due to the difficulty of collecting the facts. If you look at how your data was actually collected you will see it’s not reliable. Real % of divorces following wife’s infidelity near 40% possibly even more than half and it’s for the exact reasons in the OP link. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/04/25 10:08 PM |
| 4 | 1 month into separationGym, update wardrobe, new hairstyle. The way to let go of the past is build a future that is better than your old life. It happened for me and many many others. You’ve been treated horribly. Improving your station in life is a solo mission. Hit the gym and get buff. I had to find new interests and hobbies. Stumbled into golf and it cured my depression and made me the happiest guy on earth. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/04/25 05:21 PM |
| 2 | Tied to Mortgage After Divorce (WA State) – Need Advice (Yes, I Know It Was a Mistake)You could incentivize her to refinance early. Sweeten the deal and say do it in 3 months and keep more money. That’s just a way to help solve your problem. To make it easy you could also do the legwork of finding her a reputable mortgage broker. But no I don’t think you can force her to refi before the agreement deadline. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/04/25 07:29 PM |
| 14 | Estranged wife says “other parents” don’t want a man in the house during a sleepover.Good chance the screenshot was a fake. Quit talking to your horrible ex. Good chance there is a false dv claim incoming so watch your 6. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/04/25 07:26 PM |
| 2 | She wants outNot it | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/03/25 09:14 PM |
| 5 | Chances of alimony in my situation?No kids and your stbxw has full time gainful employment on a 5 year marriage… you gonna be fine G. One card you can keep up your sleeve is carefully document the $$ spent on the affair. Keep that card close to the vest. You only play that when she tries to take your car or stick you with the last 3 months of bills or something. If I were you I would file for divorce asap and get this thing moving. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/03/25 06:25 PM |
| 5 | Rock and a hard placeA phd psychologist was my advisor on these types of issues. A therapist with tons of experience in family court. They may even be able to submit evidence to court on your behalf, which makes the evidence stronger. What they will really help you with is good decision making for these extremely delicate issues. I had a full on divorce team of family, lawyer consults, counselors, and other trusted advisors. I heard many good ideas for how to deal with these problems. They went away when I learned h… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/03/25 11:17 AM |
| 6 | Go fund me?In my experience it was an exercise in gratitude, faith, perseverance, and determination. All of which are priceless and will be required for you to right the ship. Step one dig deep and keep that job while you come up with fresh new ideas based on your newfound time and opportunities. Dream big, why not double your income with a great new idea while you claw your way out. Good luck. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/03/25 10:59 AM |
| 4 | Thoughts on this approach after a 12-yr marriage going south?You lost me at robot you’re way off man go back to the drawing board. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/03/25 10:48 AM |
| 3 | Request for Ideas/Help: Looking to update the sidebar.Sub running great in my opinion. I don’t even think flair would help because it’s the same few issues and the best solutions are usually buried in comments for people who are desperate for good ideas and encouragement. In other words we don’t need some manifesto of how to divorce we need to share what works and what doesn’t for very specific and delicate situations. Seems the community always provides a few good suggestions for tricky divorce problems. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/03/25 10:41 AM |
| 2 | Just curious - who moved out?Stayed out of jail and kept my job. Got the parenting schedule I wanted with some reverse psychology and shrewd negotiation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/03/25 09:42 AM |
| – | Just curious - who moved out?We had a pos starter home that I saved up and bought. Very common my income 3x was our money and her income 1x was her money. It’s silly but everyone is doing this. We had one toddler. Even after paying for divorce itself and child support I got a fat discount on my cash flow just getting her off my account. I moved out and lived right for 18 months. It was tight paying for housing for my apartment and my old house probably 80% of my budget just gone. Made that remaining 20% go a long way even p… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/03/25 09:36 AM |
| 6 | Am I traumatizedJust go on dates to have fun. If you catch a spark, great. If you just have fun bowling, great. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/03/25 06:43 AM |
| 3 | Wife (29F) monkeybranched on me (30M) after 16 months of marriageFile for divorce asap. Don’t tell the dad anything. But if he calls you talking about reconciliation just say she had an affair and you’re not going to get back together with her. Thank him for being kind to you and move on. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/03/25 05:23 AM |
| 6 | Wife (29F) monkeybranched on me (30M) after 16 months of marriageAll I’m reading is good news brother. I know it’s not fun but in the long run this is great news for you. Dust yourself off hit the gym and upgrade everything in your life. She will be the easiest thing to upgrade. She was just an albatross around your neck. Don’t take her behavior personally. Don’t do anymore long distance relationships. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/03/25 05:21 AM |
| 8 | Ex keeps asking for helpGave me a book idea, how to train your horrible ex wife. Rather than write the book I’ll just tell you what to do. Don’t reply to these help please emails (should already be blocked on phone). If the request is reasonable then do it but always ask for a favor in return. “Hey Mark, can you pick up Sally from the ballet class?” “Sure if you pick her up from school on Tuesday.” “Hey Mark, blah blah blah can you send me $300 for blah blah blah” NO REPLY unless that $300 is earmarked in your divorce … | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/25 10:15 PM |
| 6 | Got punched in the faceThey would haul his ass to jail with 2 witnesses saying he shoved her into the wall. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/25 09:24 PM |
| 10 | Got punched in the faceFrankly I think you did the right thing and your reward for composure under pressure is peace and happiness. If you called the cops there is a very strong probability they would have white knighted your ass to jail. If you retaliated you definitely go to jail. Some people say oh I don’t care if I go to jail if I’m in the right. Well what happens when you lose your job?? What happened is your ex made up or exaggerated claims that you are a wife beater. The hens took her word for it and there you … | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/25 09:18 PM |
| 2 | Direct Deposit AllocationJust the way I went with this. Everything I did just prior to and during divorce was about positive cash flow on a go forward basis. That meant no back support bill for ex wife or kid. I deposited the paycheck into joint checking as always, paid the old house bills immediately, and transferred the remainder into my personal account. My ex worked. So what I was doing was 1) keeping the house out of foreclosure because I needed a big fat equity check for a new dp eventually 2) ensuring that I coul… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/25 07:51 PM |
| 11 | Has anyone been on the r/Divorce subreddit? I feel like it’s run by women and is 90% posts from women talking about how much they hate being married and want a divorce.Generally any commentary from men that doesn’t simp or white knight gets you banned. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/03/25 05:18 AM |
| 3 | Ex showed up with her new boyfriend to drop off our sonWe’re talking about some goon who needs a place to live shacking up with our ex wife and kids. And he’s all mad and revving his car at the real dad for no reason. It’s a caricature. Settle down lady not everything is about you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/03/25 04:45 AM |
| 8 | Wife wants $5K a month - not sure wtf to do anymore.Take a deep breath man it’s gonna be ok. Get bare minimum 30 minutes hard sweating exercise per day to deal with the stress. Drink tons of water, eat healthy, good nights sleep. Take care of your health like never before. Then you’ll think better and make good decisions. Operate with strength and conviction, not fear. These are temporary problems and you will solve them. Consult with several lawyers and carefully pick the best one. Referrals are best. Follow their advice and you’ll be ok. The nu… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/03/25 03:56 AM |
| 20 | Ex showed up with her new boyfriend to drop off our sonBro I’ve run into four of these clowns. Just remember you had her first before she was a washed up single mom. You do have to hit the gym tho. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/03/25 12:40 AM |
| 4 | After DivorceBeen there and done that brother. Had to get creative sometimes like being grateful for a soft pillow and warm bed or a cold refreshing glass of water lol. Tons of good stuff coming your way including resilience which is priceless in my opinion. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/03/25 10:59 PM |
| 4 | After DivorceFantastic comment. Yes gratitude is the secret sauce. When I moved to an apartment I put a big gratitude sign up in my room. It was hella cheesy. Now that sign is prominently displayed in my golf course house. Sometimes I think the universe rewards gratitude. Or maybe bosses and customers just like grateful people. Either way it works! | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/03/25 10:31 PM |
| 3 | Texas: Does Child Support Automatically End?Sweet homie just saved you a $300 lawyer consult. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/25 09:47 PM |
| 8 | Settling on things…You sound like you’re about to roll over on everything. Be very very careful in your talks. I think you’re being hustled! Don’t agree to her taking your son. Since he is 13, I think you will win. I’d draw a line in the sand and only let her cross it if you want to move to that new city as well. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/25 09:44 PM |
| 3 | Divorce and PensionTreated my regular 401k the same way. Got a reduced check for my equity in the house. The reduced equity in the house helped her keep the house affordable long term. It was still enough for a DP on a new place for me. She was able to refi the house and pay me out in a timely manner. So it was a win-win deal. Divorce is a zero sum game in many respects. But win-win deals can thaw the ice a bit and get things moving. Edit: when I was selling win-win deals in mediation I was getting the mediator on… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/25 09:25 PM |
| 1 | Looking for adviceMy vote is embark on a self improvement mission which will help you make good decisions and solve your problems. Good luck. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/25 09:20 PM |
| 11 | Dealing with the STBXW's Fantasy WorldI’m 5 years out here’s what I settled on. She’s entitled to her own thoughts and opinions about her life. I am entitled to the same about my life. I don’t care what she thinks of me. I care about making myself proud and enriching my kid’s life. If she’s helpful coparenting, I respond in kind. If she’s obstructive, I ignore her. What this got me is a functioning low interaction coparenting relationship. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/03/25 09:01 PM |
| 6 | How to let her go and move onGolf got me out of the funk and loving life more than anybody on earth. I joined a Saturday men’s league and made dozens of new close friends. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/25 08:22 PM |
| 6 | Wedding photosIf this problem is your big divorce problem you doing fine G. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/03/25 10:22 AM |
| 6 | Struggling with My Ex-Wife Enjoying Time I Used to Share with My Daughter - How Do You Handle These Emotional Setbacks?lol that dummy has to spend $200 on gas to spend the day with some other dudes kid just for a chance to bang your boring old ex wife. Its pitiful. Go to the gym get your money right let’s go. Your text was lame no matter the recipient that’s why you feel foolish. Good news tomorrow’s a new day make your own new goals and dreams come true. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/03/25 10:19 AM |
| 1 | Has anyone successfully gotten child support from a woman?Incomes? I went through your profile and you are paying a ton of CS. And yes we are all well aware it’s not “for the children”. If it were then we would see our kids in new clothes and we wouldn’t have to pay 2/3 of the extra curriculars. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/03/25 05:18 PM |
| 11 | Not sure where to turn nowExcellent comment. Every bewildered divorcing man take heed. I have found everything in your comment to be true. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/03/25 03:34 PM |
| 12 | Modern dating IS polygamyYou’re comparing yourself to fake surgeons and dj’s. Why shouldn’t some random thot go on a fancy dinner date with a surgeon? Because you took her to Applebees last week and think you deserve the whole shabang? Let go of expectations. Go on dates where you have fun. Only go if you have attraction to the other person. They should be attracted to you too (not your wallet, car, or job). When you have reasonable expectations and go on a date to have a good time and maybe catch a spark, good things w… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/03/25 04:04 AM |
| 3 | I found out she’s sleeping with a guy at the co-op. Why does this hurt so much?Keep doing those breathing exercises. I remember having to do those. Haven’t had to do it in years. This is all temporary man. Talk to SEVERAL attorneys (paid or free consults). Referrals are ideal for best legal advice at lowest cost. Dig around your Rolodex and drum up some referrals because the lawyer will want to impress the reference. A consensus should develop among the somewhat straight shooting lawyers in the bunch. Do not fall for the one that says, “sure I can get you full custody.” Do… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/03/25 08:19 PM |
| 5 | Google offers a domestic violence hotline to men now!I got slapped hard in the face by my ex. I was asleep in the guest bedroom and she didn’t like that I was just ignoring her. Big red mark. She started slapping me when I caught her in a 6 month affair. I knew if I called the cops she would put on the water works or fake an injury and I would be the one hauled off. There is a subtle doctrine that the man is primary aggressor always because he is bigger and more powerful. The good think is I had been talking to a counselor for a while about whethe… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/03/25 07:54 PM |
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter