~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 18 | Do men move on easily?He was probably cheating on you and needed to find a cop out, hence the “I’m not fit for a relationship”. Bullet dodged, block him on IG. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/21 03:32 PM |
| 25 | I turned down a date in College and they became my stalker. Any strategies on dating again?Stop asking guys to meet- they should be asking you. If you still feel hesitant about giving away your number you can download an app like google voice with an email account you don’t use, and give guys that number until you’ve determined they’re a decent human being who wouldn’t harass you. I wouldn’t tell any guy about the stalking thing until maybe after several months of dating. It’s unnecessary information, and the wrong guy will see how much that shook you up and use that against you in th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/05/20 04:25 PM |
| 95 | How long can a man go without contacting you?I don’t sit around waiting for a man’s text, counting the days I haven’t heard from him. If it seems like there is a long stretch of time where he hasn’t contacted me to set up a date or follow up to see how my week is going, I move on. Stay busy and follow your intuition. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/05/20 06:53 PM |
| 56 | Ruminating on recent breakupI find that low value men tend to be very nice, “loving” guys because that’s all they have to offer. They’ll never be able to adequately provide for a family, you’ll always have to take care of them like they’re another child. .. But if you can just look past that and see their heart! No, sis. Love isn’t the end-all be-all, and you deserve more. Give it time and when you look back you’ll see that you made the right decision. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/05/20 06:37 PM |
| 8 | My BF doesnt changeWhat is soon to be fiancée? Either he has asked for your hand in marriage, or he has not. Read the handbook. You can’t pick and choose which strategies you want to follow and which ones to ignore. Ask yourself if you can stay with this person if he never changes. He most likely won’t. It’s hard enough to change yourself- let alone another person. He has to want to change for himself, not for you, and it sounds like he doesn’t. HVM want to be the best version of themselves. He doesn’t sound high … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/05/20 06:29 PM |
| 35 | What was the weirdest thing that led you to realize you were dating an LVM? Or amusing final straw caused you to dump an LVM?We were long distance and he decided “opening up” the relationship so he could fuck other women was the only way he could continue, because the distance was sooo hard on him.. I shut it down the first time and I stupidly stayed. But then he brought it up AGAIN a week later, and tried to use mental manipulation in order to coerce my agreement. Do you know how little your partner has to respect you for them to even suggest they get a pass to fuck other people? That relationship fucked me up. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/05/20 10:22 PM |
| 34 | How often do you expect to hear from your partner?Some people aren’t big on texting, I consider myself one of those people. I like to have things to chat about when I see my boyfriend, and texting is boring to me. HOWEVER you are being beyond reasonable considering you’re not even seeing him! This guy should be calling you, FaceTiming you, suggesting some way to connect with you during quarantine. He could send you dinner (hell, I even sent one of my good friends her favorite pizza. the standard should be higher for a s/o), he could have a book… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/05/20 07:52 PM |
| 253 | You can never convince a man to love youA man that’s single and can’t process his baggage at that age is already a huge red flag. A man that’s single and seeking out younger women at that age? Dealbreaker. You’re young and have your whole life ahead of you, glad you got away and can look forward to meeting someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/05/20 05:17 PM |
| 43 | If you’re dating during a pandemic, you’re letting him know right off the bat that you’re desperate.Further proof that LVM don’t care about your health or theirs, as long as they can get a nut off. Pathetic. Just another way to separate the LVM from HVM. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/05/20 05:38 PM |
| 192 | Whats wrong with this sub? I got an offended message“Play games” aka set standards that require more than the bare minimum. How dare you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/02/20 03:54 AM |
| 7 | I lied to a guy what should I do ?What should you do? Pull your self esteem from the gutter, delete his contact and block. He told you he has feelings for other girls! He obviously isn’t interested in you, lying and being passive aggressive won’t change that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/02/20 03:09 AM |
| 16 | I’m (F,20) confused. Did he (23m) lose interest right after asking me to be exclusive ? Should I move on already or is he being pensive ?You learn if you’re compatible with someone by dating them and letting them show you who they are. If it were as simple as a quick discussion, this sub wouldn’t exist. Men lie but their actions do not. Right now he is showing that he doesn’t really care to communicate or maintain a relationship with you. You’re young so you have plenty of time to date around and find a good fit. You’re the prize and don’t ever forget it. You won’t have to question the motives of the right guy! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/02/20 06:05 PM |
| 40 | I’m (F,20) confused. Did he (23m) lose interest right after asking me to be exclusive ? Should I move on already or is he being pensive ?Don’t ever discuss your expectations or dealbreakers with a man! He will take the information, pretend to be everything you want, and then disappear once he’s done using you. Stop being so available. I don’t care how much I hit it off with a guy, I’m not spending 10 hours with a stranger. I have other priorities and you should too. Why would you become exclusive after 2 weeks? You don’t know this guy! Just because HE wants to be exclusive doesn’t mean you just go along with it. Don’t let yoursel… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/02/20 05:49 PM |
| 179 | Don’t ever breed anyone who will blatantly undermine your contributions like this or who thinks $1300 a month is a significant amount 🤡Could never be with someone that undervalues housekeeping/cooking/childcare like this! The average cost of a live in nanny is $650 A WEEK. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/20 06:40 PM |
| 0 | Have a date from OLD this Saturday. Taking bets now!There’s a lot of ways this could go wrong but there’s just as many ways it could go right. It’s ok to be cautious but keep a positive mindset, go have fun! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/20 06:34 PM |
| 24 | FWB StupidityFirst of all if I were you, I would take any complaints he has about his “abusive” gf with a grain of salt. You’re essentially the other woman, it’s not uncommon for men in these situations to paint their SO in a negative light in order to gain your sympathy and a sense of competition. You aren’t in the relationship so you will never be certain about what’s actually going on. He’s likely not boyfriend of the year, but of course he would never admit it. He’s not willing to leave his relationship.… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/02/20 07:02 PM |
| 13 | Survey: What do you think is the root cause of your Pickmieshaism?I grew up in a pretty unstable home. My mom has never been married, men would come and go in her life. My dad isn’t in the picture. My brothers have a different dad, who also isn’t in their lives. Because of my upbringing I desire, very desperately, a stable relationship. I want my kids to have a father. I’ll feel as if I failed at life if I don’t succeed at this. Without self awareness I became a Pickmeisha. If I could be the perfect girlfriend and cater to a man, I would be rewarded with a wel… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/20 11:05 PM |
| 115 | His Reddit history. Should I break up with him?MGTOW and Red Pill are the antithesis of FDS. HVM do not spend their time browsing those subreddits or watching related videos. Nothing good is going to come from a relationship with that guy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/20 07:57 PM |
| 44 | Triangulation is a big, red flagAbsolutely. Ladies please read this and familiarize yourself with this tactic- I wish I was aware of this years ago. I was in a relationship with someone who triangulated me with his ex before I’d even known him for 2 months! He spent the rest of the relationship trying to manipulate and gaslight me, and it ended when he cheated on me. If I had been armed with this knowledge I wouldn’t have wasted a year and a half with that loser. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/20 07:30 PM |
| 7 | Do I travel to him or no?Depends on how you want to set the tone of your relationship. In a relationship, would you be fine making the trip to see him every week? If yes, go. If not, he needs to visit your city this time. Google is free, so even if he’s not familiar with your city he can still plan a date. But if you want to see if he’d even make the effort for the trip, wait for him to ask for your availability and you can say something like, “I’m free (insert day). I’ve been meaning to check out (insert place in your … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/20 04:02 PM |
| 38 | Am I right to feel guilty after ending something with a LVM??The truth hurts. Even if you were coming from a place of anger you did him a favor; maybe now he will have the self awareness to make positive changes in his life. You’re human, focus on you and moving forward! You’re also not responsible for someone else’s emotions. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/20 04:36 AM |
| 36 | Boyfriend scheduled a weekend long trip with a male friend instead on spending valentine's day with meI knew who this was without even looking at the username. If you’re dead set on being a pickme, go be a pickme! You don’t have to come here every week so we can tell you how dumb you are. This subreddit is for women who actually want to improve themselves and have quality relationships. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/20 06:31 PM |
| 11 | My so called bf hasn't even wished me on Valentine's Day yet. Guess who is getting dumped tonight.Yes! If he’s not even making excuses for himself, why are you making them for him? He didn’t show his appreciation for you today, in any way. Doesn’t matter why. Next! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/20 05:37 PM |
| 138 | My so called bf hasn't even wished me on Valentine's Day yet. Guess who is getting dumped tonight.Even long distance he still could have made an effort! My ex sent a gift to my place last Valentine’s Day and he lived nearly 10,000km away. I’m sorry you’re dating someone so thoughtless- you deserve better and he deserves to be dumped. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/20 03:21 PM |
| 23 | What to do when he questions your commitment?I don’t think it is your job to “reassure” him. Until he puts a ring on it he should always have a seed of doubt anyways. It sounds like you are doing a good job and I wouldn’t switch things up.. you’re a busy woman with options, that is what attracted him in the first place. I noticed you mentioned that you are unsure about commitment. If this is a HVM that is looking for marriage and he can’t escalate things with you (as in, meeting his parents and other big steps in a relationship) then this … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/20 07:50 PM |
| 15 | I(F21)am posting for the last time on this forum.I could really use some advice:)It’s obvious that you are looking for any reason to stay with this guy. We are not going to give it to you. You’ve been told by several people it is time to move on. Something about this relationship and the dysfunction within it works for you. My guess is that this is either the type of relationship that was modeled for you, or you are wired to constantly feel insecure for whatever reason and this guy is feeding into that messed up “comfort” zone you have. You need to go to therapy and get to t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/20 05:04 AM |
| 2 | Went on a great date and I’m finally interested in someone!! It’s new, but would love it to continue growingDo not drive him crazy with the constant messaging! Personally, I really only communicate to set up dates. I might check up on someone I’m dating once a week, but that’s it. Save those “in depth” convos for your dates. Also, date others so you don’t get too invested in this one guy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/20 10:11 PM |
| 37 | How do I respond to this? I'm so confusedYea he’s literally telling you he is not high value and does not have a solid moral code. Next. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/20 08:37 PM |
| 8 | What makes a man commit?Yes. You don’t have to make a big deal out of it and you can still walk away with some dignity. “I came to the realization that this isn’t what I want anymore. I’m at a point in my life where I am interested in a meaningful relationship. I really enjoy our time together so if you’re looking for the same thing, I would be open to discussing that.” If he makes it clear that he also wants a committed relationship, then it is time to set some boundaries because that is going to look a lot different … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/20 08:34 PM |
| 68 | What makes a man commit?Ask yourself why you think basic affection from this man means ANYTHING at all. You’ve been having sex with him for 2 years- but a forehead kiss somehow indicates real intimacy? If he hasn’t locked you down by now he doesn’t want to. And he’s not going to. A man that wants you would not even give you the space to potentially be taken off the market by another man. I would say this is wasted energy. Since you have feelings it is best that you end it and explain why. Maybe that will light up a fir… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/20 07:10 PM |
| 16 | FDS queens who use OLD--how long do you entertain texting before moving on?3 days is my max. I ignore after that- once in a while they’ll send me another message to set up a date after I pull back from the convo. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/01/20 09:01 PM |
| 27 | Can I turn my non-FDS relationship into something more FDS?You need to communicate your timeline, and then leave it alone. Explain why getting married is important to you. “Hey, I know we’ve discussed this before but I am really looking for a life partner to start a family with. This includes marriage because of x, y and z. I love you and would like to take the next step with you, but if you’re not interested in marriage I don’t see how this can work. I am willing to give you time to think this through, but if we’re not engaged by the time I graduate th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/01/20 07:18 PM |
| 38 | Can I turn my non-FDS relationship into something more FDS?So you’ve been with him for 3 years and he wants to marry in 7 years? So after 10 years of dating you? You know how ridiculous that sounds?? Since you’ve already been together for 3 years a marriage within 2-3 years is more than reasonable. What I am getting from this is that your boyfriend doesn’t VALUE marriage. He doesn’t care about making a lifelong commitment to you in front of his friends/family/the state. He doesn’t care about you and your children all sharing the same family name. He doe… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/01/20 06:45 PM |
| 12 | How to fix things if you screw up with a HVM?You have to be open and communicate to this to him. If he’s genuinely a HVM that cares about you, he will understand and will not hold this against you. Set up a meeting in person with him so your message is clear, don’t try to reconcile over the phone. You should also be self reflective and figure out how to better manage your emotional responses moving forward, and relay that to him. You don’t have control over your emotions but you do have control over your actions. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/20 12:12 AM |
| 8 | Feeling depressed & low self-esteem, how do I maintain becoming a more HVW?First and foremost, find a good therapist. Easier said than done, so start this search early. Start practicing meditation and mindfulness. Read! Learn about nutrition- what you put into your body has a huge effect on your brain/emotional well-being. This will be a good foundation. I think a lot of people have a hard time doing the things they used to love, working out and investing in themselves when their mind isn’t in the right space. Most importantly take it one day at a time. You don’t have … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/20 11:14 PM |
| 56 | FDS works! Met a great guy who meets all the characteristics of a HVMThis!! You need to observe the kind of person he is over time. Also, don’t be afraid to put the brakes on this. I don’t really get why you were spending NYE with him and his buddies after 2 dates- did you not have plans with your friends/family? Make sure you are still cultivating a life outside of this one guy you are dating. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/20 10:29 PM |
| 14 | Am I being ungrateful?Just because you aren’t doing well financially doesn’t mean you should accept a man that is in the same position. You can do bad all by yourself honey. I would leave him and work on yourself. You’re worried about a ring when you’re in financial ruins. The ring, this man should NOT be your priority right now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/20 09:55 PM |
| 90 | pickmeisha behaviour ruined my chances with a guy who is probably HVM. can I do something about it?It sounds like he’s just not into it- “it” being either you or a relationship in general. The reason why doesn’t matter. If he did change his mind about being in a relationship and was interested in you, he has your contact information and can reach out at any time. But that’s not what he’s doing. Sorry to be so blunt but these things are usually pretty black and white. If you are truly practicing FDS you would not be so focused on this one guy, you’d be out meeting guys that want you and are em… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/01/20 07:29 PM |
| 21 | HVM are interested in the amazing woman you are, LVM are interested in what you can do for themMen that behave like fuckboys aren’t high value imo. It’s a sign of immaturity, HVM value their time. I also don’t consider men that go around using & discarding women for their primal desires HVM. Whether they want a relationship or just a hookup, they don’t have to play games/love bomb to get you either. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/19 05:15 AM |
| 32 | Love bombing - breadcrumbing all these tactics LVM use take so much time and manipulation why even do it?I would take some time to read forums like MGTOW and TRP. Know your enemy. Basically they want low hanging fruit.. a woman that is affected by these tactics is more easily manipulated, thus they can set the relationship on their terms and get away with more bullshit. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/19 02:24 AM |
| 12 | What's the intial red flags you ignored from past relationships?Dominating the conversation and rarely asking me questions. This was apparent on the very first date, but I am pretty reserved around people I’m not familiar with so it was welcome. In retrospect, he should have made an effort to make me feel comfortable rather than rambling on about himself. Constantly talking about his ex and comparing us. I know so many details about that girl, it’s embarrassing. Even more so knowing he will go on to share personal details of mine with the next girl. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/12/19 10:48 PM |
| 11 | Possible to find a HVM on dating app?I don’t even bother liking guys anymore. I go through my likes once a day and invite them to chat if I’m interested. If they don’t send a message (or send a low effort one) then I don’t consider them a prospect. Smaller pool of men, but those are the ones that are most eager to date you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/12/19 12:04 AM |
| 34 | Possible to find a HVM on dating app?There are losers everywhere. I would use dating apps as a supplement and not as a main source of dating. With that being said, I’ve had good luck with Hinge. You have prompts on your profile, so the low effort guys weed themselves out by sending “hey what’s up” rather than striking up a conversation based on your profile. Tinder is a toss-up, and I hate the concept of Bumble because it just seems like a bunch of entitled guys that don’t want to send the first message (if he can’t be bothered to … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/19 11:09 PM |
| 15 | I don’t understand why it is so rare to find a guy willing to be or work towards becoming a HVM. Is it because they just don’t know what love is?I think it has to do with the way society puts pressure on women to do all the emotional labor in a relationship. That is a “woman’s work”. Men just don’t have that pressure- they’re told that if they can have a successful career and do the bare minimum, then they will be rewarded with a family. That’s why you see a lot of men that are successful in terms of their careers but emotionally bankrupt. They just don’t develop the skills to create healthy relationships and don’t have any interest, the… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/19 10:40 PM |
| 30 | Age old issue - want the one that doesn’t want me. HELP?!You need to do some soul searching and figure out why you’re so fixated on this guy. Does he have qualities you wish that you had? Is he a distraction from something in your life that isn’t going well? You sound bored. Focus on your career, personal goals and hobbies. You won’t even have time for a guy that can’t give you more than sex and empty validation. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/19 10:22 PM |
| 33 | When you discover FDS too late, what do you do? 27f in “engaged” to 37m we have two kidsI don’t think you should be concerned about dating right now, or if you will be “wanted” after you move on from this relationship. You need to set a good example for your girls and leave this toxic relationship. Do you want them to grow up and think this is how they should be treated? Try to reach out to friends and family for support until you can gain self sufficiency. Men like this love to make a woman dependent on them because they know they will have a very difficult time getting out of the… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/19 06:53 PM |
| 7 | Am I or did I waste my own time?Financial troubles are the number one reason for divorce. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who is irresponsible with money? A man wouldn’t think twice about dropping a woman in this position. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/12/19 11:10 PM |
| 33 | Seeing stuff like this a lot more on Twitter. Women are waking up. 👀If you HAVE to work a job. Working should be optional for you. If you were to ever become ill, have a child, or just want a career change you should be able to rely on the man you’re with to support you. It should always be a choice and never an added stress if you have a man in your life. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/12/19 04:01 PM |
| 4 | How I saved my ex’s number to stop myself from breaking no contact again (I dumped him bc of disrespectful LVM behaviors, but panicked and reached out not once, not twice but three tins in 10 days... only to be ignored) because I AM DONE WITH MY BULLSHITTake it a step further and block him. If he’s a LVM he should not have any access to you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/19 06:20 PM |
| 1 | I made a mistake....The only thing you can do in this situation is wait and see how things play out. Wait for him to reach out to you. Is he making an effort to court you, or is he asking you to go over and watch Netflix for your second date? If it’s the latter, you need to make your standards clear. Let him know that even though you got carried away on the first date you are looking for a genuine connection with someone, and would prefer to get to know him more over dinner. If he’s not interested in that, then mov… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/12/19 12:23 AM |
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