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SurroundWide447 Archive

View 15 posts and 629 comments by SurroundWide447 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
59

DebateSurroundWide447/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 01:59 PM
47

DebateSurroundWide447/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 11:14 PM
30

Question For WomenSurroundWide447/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 05:52 PM
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DebateSurroundWide447/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 02:41 PM
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Question For WomenSurroundWide447/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 02:01 PM
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DebateSurroundWide447/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 12:55 PM
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Question For WomenSurroundWide447/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 02:58 PM
15

Question For WomenSurroundWide447/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 12:28 PM
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DebateSurroundWide447/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 08:56 AM
13

DebateSurroundWide447/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 05:47 AM
12

DebateSurroundWide447/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 02:09 PM
1

Question For WomenSurroundWide447/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 02:02 AM
0

DebateSurroundWide447/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 07:52 PM
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DebateSurroundWide447/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 12:13 PM
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DebateSurroundWide447/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 07:08 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
–

Honestly it was more just being in healthy shape and being metro sexual when I was younger. I was very into my own beauty, dressing stylishly (I was more on the dapper side), styling my hair, and grooming intensely. I went to the gym and could run really well but it wasn't anything crazy.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/25 02:02 PM
4

I'm friends with older women that have slept around a lot and they're basically what the red pill talks about lol. Tons of issues, not as pretty as they used to be, long term issues that have kept them from being married, etc...
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 08:40 PM
0

It's definitely tough on women but I think when the right men would prefer her put out as fast for us as she has for guys in the past. It's about vetting the actual personality of the guys in question
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 05:59 PM
2

I'm speaking generally. I don't do this I try to be honest but fuck boys and guys that have 30 plus body counts lie, manipulate and withhold information strategically all the time and it works. I'm just telling you how it is. In Sociology, if we see a wide spread phenomenon occur on a wide spread scale, there's a reason why. The reason why men do that is because it does work and being honest about intentions does not work. If it did work and women actually didn't give guys that lied sex and rela…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 05:34 PM
3

Not a hook up, I don't do that usually. I'm just saying that if I start dating a girl and she's sexually available from the get go, I'm much more inclined to take her seriously if everything else is in place. With your priorities comment, if lying didn't work to get laid then the world would look very different. A lot of what men do in the world is to become attractive to women or involve women in some form. If saying "I want something merely casual" worked to get anything, then we wouldnt be ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 05:14 PM
4

The speed with which you have sex with doesn't have anything to do with how serious something is. A girl who's sweet, intelligent, funny and pretty fucking me instantly and being into sex with me is going to be top of my list for girlfriend than a girl who's all of that but making me wait for no reason other than thinking that's what you should do with serious guys
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 04:56 PM
1

You're not engaging with what I'm saying but whatever. It's a reality that is here to stay, most men care about that sort of thing 🤷. Women would avoid this if they just slept with the dudes they want to take seriously as fast as the ones they slept with barely knowing their names.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 04:32 PM
1

I get where women are coming from don't get me wrong but I'm just saying that the general male will be annoyed by that lol. It also depends on context. Learning is actually being a long term dating strategy minded person (the average partner count lifetime is low and most women especially are, look how quickly lesbians get serious lol). Dating a few ego filled dudes seriously and finding out with time how to differentiate cockiness with true healthy confidence is something no guy should have a p…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 04:22 PM
1

I don't think this is true for most of the population though lol the average partner count is still like 4-6.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 04:14 PM
2

The frustration mainly comes from an annoyance when women treat us "worse" than men in her past. And since sex is such a huge thing for guys (women too but you know what I mean) hearing that she's been with random dudes faster than she has you is frustrating. I would be more inclined to take a girl seriously who has slept around if she just had sex with me as fast or faster than the dudes that aren't putting in nearly as much effort as I am taking her on dates, getting to know her, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 04:14 PM
2

Most people don't sleep around like that for this to even be an issue or topic. I think this mentality stems from a place of frustration when women treat guys they want to take seriously very differently from guys they keep completely casual. I think women think they're doing the right thing by making a guy wait, taking their time, etc... but it's just fucking annoying to know that she's doing that with me but has fucked around with a lot of other dudes instantly. I would actually be more inclin…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 04:10 PM
8

I think women don't get that as a man, if I hear you've treated other men in your past differently or better than you are treating me, that's a sure fire way to get me not to take you seriously. That entails giving sex to men who didn't have to put in half the work I have.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 04:05 PM
–

The last sentence is absolutely true. However, I would argue the effective dating market after a certain point is a majority of the 20 percent leftover with the higher partner counts and what not
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 01:13 PM
3

I think people generally married younger right? I think because women were pushed to do it by society
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 12:35 AM
0

That's not even what I'm saying though. 90 percent of what men do with their lives it to he attractive to women. We get that high level job, finances straight, hit the gym, etc because we want to be attractive to women. Once we finally have the privilege of being able to juggle multiple women, why wouldn't we take advantage?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 05:07 PM
2

You said yourself that you miss the variety. You got to the point of being able to even say that. Don't you think a lot of guys would be acting on just juggling a ton of options
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 05:01 PM
5

Most people are monogamy brained and women especially prefer long term relationships. Look at lesbians, they sleep around less than every other group. I think women nowadays don't necessarily want the kids, the house and the traditional marriage. I think that's come and gone for most people. I think women just want a partner they can explore life with
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 03:35 PM
1

It's kinda true. Kinda. I think there are men that are naturally long term relationship brained but a majority of men will do everything in their power to become attractive to women and once they are, why wouldn't they take advantage and juggle around a ton of options
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 03:33 PM
–

Even though I argue for being wary of women that have really slept around and I have a different set of standards for women with more extensive histories (I'm much more cut throat with them out of my own safety) I think promiscuous men are absolutely way worse with all of this. Every promiscuous guy I know is just a horrible partner lol cheating, selfish, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 08:44 PM
–

That's not the way men see it, no. I've seriously dated girls that have slept around and the only thing I think is "if she doesn't treat me way better than any of the men I hear her talk about, it's over." If she has a higher sexual history and is being annoying or showing red flags, I'm much more willing to cut them off or emotionally withdraw and I think a lot of guys feel the same. A girl with a ton of experience (that's another thing, the scale is important here. I usually don't consider thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 08:36 PM
–

Flirting is essentially building sexual and romantic tension subtely to create an atmosphere between you and the woman. Think of atmosphere in the literary sense. What emotions and feelings are just floating in the air through choice of words, delivery style, eye contact, storytelling, etc... It is kind of art to explain because "atmosphere" is hard to explain. It's the way a painting makes you feel you can only really describe it with vague sentences. It also depends on the context between you …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 08:19 PM
16

Most people are like this and it's overblown. The average partner count is like 6 lifetime. Most women I know don't sleep around like that. I think the reason it seems this way to a lot of single men is, our only options are dating apps and bars/clubs which are naturally going to have more promiscuous women. Also, the women that do sleep around are generally the effective dating market after college or like late 20's. I wish I met someone and got married from college because now it's tough lol
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 03:08 AM
3

I think we can't generalize to that extent tbh, some people are just open to talking. In my experience, even if the girl isn't interested, often times small time chat is nice. It also flexes your own social muscles and builds confidence so, in that sense I'm more worried about myself and my own growth than the opinion of a stranger. End of the day, at worst, all you did was go up and say hi and leave as soon as they're not interested. It really isn't a big deal (within reason of course use commo…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/25 05:27 PM
–

From another comment I posted: Yeah I get the feeling the women down voting me genuinely have no context for what I'm talking about. A large portion of promiscuous women will downplay certain things to make the guy feel special, lie about their pasts, act demure in general, in and out of bed. I don't think most women do this intentionally, I think when they really like a guy, a lot of them naturally end up being this way. It stems all the way to even the first few dates, promiscuous women will m…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 12:51 PM
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Yeah I get the feeling the women down voting me genuinely have no context for what I'm talking about. A large portion of promiscuous women will downplay certain things to make the guy feel special, lie about their pasts, act demure in general, in and out of bed. I don't think most women do this intentionally, I think when they really like a guy, a lot of them naturally end up being this way. It stems all the way to even the first few dates, promiscuous women will make a guy wait if they want the…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 12:44 PM
–

I'm saying it does work though? I'm my current lifestyle, I'm working towards getting back to that point again because I've naturally just become more nice and mushy as stuff goes on
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 10:13 AM
2

In my case, I act all tough, like I talk to a lot of women or have a ton of women in my dm's and act withdrawn or hard to get but it all eventually breaks apart and the true sweetie is shown. It is eventually endearing to the women but yeah lol
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 08:13 PM
4

I agree the ideal is being an "alpha nice guy" but it also works to be a bad boy, narcissistic guy. And the latter is easier to achieve because you're sort of withdrawn from the women emotionally. I'm just saying that I personally get rewarded for behaving like those kinds of men and that's frustrating for me lol. I try to be nice but it doesn't land me dates or gets girls attracted to me
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 06:03 PM
3

It's kinda why I think I'm against the apps as a thing but whatever lol I think it would be better for literally everyone
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 02:09 PM
3

Beautiful, 100 percent agreed!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 02:04 PM
3

I heard a psychologist talk about that if women actually desired honest, good, sweet men that aren't just looking for sex and want to dedicate themselves to one woman from the get go, the world would look very different. Women on a large scale "reward" certain types of men with with sex and relationships. I find in my life, when I'm more of the type of men girls complain about (talking to a lot of women, withdrawn, playing games, focused on the gym, career and myself) I end up landing way more d…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 01:38 PM
16

I think this all holds true except the distinction that in person, a woman's threshold will generally be lower (men's too) because someone's subconscious communications are more immediately apparent from the get go than an online dating profile. I know pretty much every girl I've dated would not have swiped right on me on an app but because I met them in person and was immediately charming, seductive, teasing her, etc... in her mind I'm more attractive than I probably am. This goes the other way…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 01:31 PM
1

Absolutely, COVID and apps ruined everything imo
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 02:44 PM
1

It has changed though. This avenue is a lot harder to achieve post COVID, most of my action as been through cold approach now
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 02:43 PM
3

> I think some guys here believe that if a woman is willing to sleep with you, she is also willing to be in a relationship with you - that the sex is the higher bar. It isn't. It used to be this way before dating apps, though lol. Not saying it is worse or better, but largely every guy I've talked to also agrees with this
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 12:49 PM
2

I wish this all worked. I think it used to. There has been a sort of death of third spaces overall in the United States, at least and when I go to these events, they are just terrible lol. I think best case, you get into a third space like someone who constantly hosts parties and constantly invites new women but largely, most of my dates have been from cold approaching or friend of a friend events
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 12:48 PM
1

There's a correlation, though. It is not necessarily about n count, it's about being short-term dating strategy-minded overall. It's definitely about context, but you are on the safe side assuming a girl who has had mostly casual relationships her whole life will end up being an unideal long-term partner
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 12:45 PM
5

Learning to approach women is literally the highest ROI you can ever have with dating
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 03:10 AM
53

If this worked, this sub wouldn't exist lol
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 01:50 AM
3

It's important but okay here. 10 years go by. One of you gains weight, stress because one of your loses the job, kid runs way from home etc. couples talk about going through stretches where the relationship is tough on both ends due to simply existing. Those moments and how you two handle it has nothing to do with seduction and it is vital to making something last long. If it was a short term relationship you would just ghost the person but you can't run away in a marriage. Keeping the spark goi…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 12:44 AM
5

Like what though lol? youre vastly overestimating this
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 12:30 AM
4

It's one aspect but marriage and just general long term relationships literally require the opposite skills to make work. It takes self sacrifice, adapting, extreme emotional maturity, patience, thinking long term both emotionally and logistically, etc... None of which is required when just fucking around. People aren't the same person 10 years down the line, you two got to be able to work together, come to compromises, not give into falling out of love, work on everything together. Being seduct…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 12:20 AM
4

It's under talked about and a legit concern for people that primarily engage in short term relationships
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 12:10 AM
5

Seducing a woman and only caring about the sex in the short term is the same skill set as making a marriage work?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 12:10 AM
2

Definitely always applies to both sides at all times
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 12:09 AM
1

Most people need a few relationships and a lot of time spent in relationships, to develop the skill set, emotional maturity and self sacrifice it takes to make a long term relationship work
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 12:09 AM
2

Nah yo I don't agree lol most people I meet need a few SO's to finally get to the point of emotional maturity, patience and sacrifice it takes to make a relationship go the distance.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 06:39 PM
29

Side note but it's one of the under talked about reasons a person that has primarily slept around and never been in a relationship for most of their lives is a bad candidate for a girlfriend/boyfriend. It's an entirely different skill set and one doesn't necessarily help the other all that much.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 12:26 PM
1

Oh I am obsessed with my girlfriends lol they die and melt in my arms everyday
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 09:53 PM
1

Yeah obviously I was more saying emotionally
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 06:03 PM
3

I think there's an argument to be made that women have largely incorporated masculinity (I mean from the Hindu perspective when talking about these things) well into their lives now. And it's not coming back. For the better I might add. I think men do need to incorporate more femininity to balance this all out. Learn to be in tune with their emotions, learn to care and put importance on social support groups, be expressive emotionally, talk about feelings and try to talk about those problems wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 05:45 PM
1

I feel like this is so post-modernist dystopian lol but hey everyone is different. I can't imagine preferring to meet on an app than in person
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 03:42 PM
1

Idk it's guys not wanting to admit you don't need to be ultra Chad to get a girl to be anxious about you leaving
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 01:52 PM
1

But like? Ain't the apps the same thing is approaching people to some degree? It's just actually worse because there's a ton of other superficial elements going on
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 01:51 PM
1

Why am I getting down voted in just saying the truth lol 😭 I don't do this but I've grown up around casual sex primarily geared men and this is the reason
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 10:04 PM
3

It either means the guy has lost interest (it has run its course) and you're like the super back up or the guy has other women he's more into and doesn't care.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 09:45 PM
2

I mean if that's happening he's probably found other girls he's more into lol or it's run its course
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 09:44 PM
5

Because the ones we've selected for casual sex entirely we just don't care about. It's a survival strategy, really, because chances are the girl herself is seeing other men too. We don't want to hear anything about you and vice versa.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 08:24 PM
10

Typically if guys are seeing a girl we have categorized as a casual sex partner, we try to be emotionally withdrawn. So that entails dodging, being flakey, not caring about her.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 04:44 PM
-3

I think you'd be surprised though lol this isn't logical. It's all sub-textual and sub-communicated. A really social guy can give off those vibes too not matter how ugly he is within reason of course. I had a relationship where my third girlfriend had been with 20 guys and I had been only with 3 girls up until that point. The way I acted, how social i was and such got her worried I was gonna leave her if she acted the fool lol. The ability to walk away I suppose is another aspect
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 03:31 PM
16

From a guy that they are attracted to/have feelings for yes. They don't want that stuff from a day to day existence but it totally makes sense for a boyfriend to do that stuff you know
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 03:18 PM
-2

Not necessarily. There are Chad men that have only been with a handful of women. It's about conviction, confidence, seduction skills and staying fun throughout the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 03:17 PM
58

Fantasy is exaggerated for entertainment but I think at the core, what it suggests is they want a guy able to get a lot of women but chooses to be loyal to her. And not just loyal, but like obsessed with her, barely able to hold back from fucking her at all times lol. I think both of these things track but the "able to get women" part doesn't mean you have to be a billionaire or whatever. That can be sub-communicated with confidence, good looks/dressing well and seductive skills. The latter part…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 12:31 PM
1

I've been treated like a king before 😎 See when people answer like "what does it matter if she's had sex before" I get the feeling y'all are talking to absolute losers online that want virgins or something. I don't care about a woman having had sex, it's primarily the context behind it and the overall sexual encounters. If a woman has had extremely promiscuous activity (threesomes, one night stands consistently, seeing multiple guys at once) I think it's absolutely fair to be take it slow and fi…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 11:56 AM
1

I think most women on here down voting me and commenting (not saying anything bad, they're free to disagree, I love discussion) have never fully experienced number 3. It's such a "male experience" thing you know. It also correlates with a girl being super into you and you indirectly turning on her "good girl" switch. That's happened before where a girl is incredibly into me and acts like the prime wife material (submissive, sweet, cooks for me, soft, gentle, etc ...) I think it can all get confu…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 11:00 AM
1

I have struggled with it in the past but have gotten over it largely. I'm tired of talking about this subject you can read my other comments, I've come to some realizations about this and want to thank everyone for sharing their ideas! I will say that I have largely gotten over it but maybe the sensibilities still appeal to me. Like, if a girl acts like the "whore" archetype, it's much easier to emotionally withdraw and just use her for fun. Or if a girl plays up the Madonna, I do love that stuf…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 10:56 AM
1

/genuine You know in reading all of your comments, I've come to realize that I think it's because the men that regularly get laid or are able to even access casual sex are not going to be shy. They're going to be confident and often times a tad narcissistic on average, not always but. You can't afford to be shy and have a ton of casual sex as a guy. I know with age and experience, I get way less shy about the initial stages of a relationship like kissing or first dates, I'm kind of numb to it no…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 10:48 AM
2

This is odd because I don't think most guys would even have to think about why this would make us feel special. A girl being overly gentle with you, openly loving you, cooking for you, worrying about you, being soft and sweet with you, just generally submissive is INSANELY appealing to us. At least thats now I'm categorizing the archetype I'm trying to get at
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 10:44 AM
2

Someone's preferences regarding casual sex don't tell you anything about the way they look or act I mean it does at some point. Especially the more intimate you become you know. (One of my friends, I knew she slept around just from all the information she told me regarding her ex boyfriens, her mindset towards intimacy and getting attached to men, being heartbroken multiple times, etc). But I get what you mean, ultimately people are multifaceted and a woman can be very into casual sex and be pri…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 10:36 AM
3

Yesss. I'm glad some people on here can agree with me! It's funny that I think guys do the opposite and play up being a bad fuck boy casanova. I know I've done this. At the core I'm a sweety romantic but gotta play up the bad boy to make me seem not easy!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 10:21 PM
5

Idk if you're making fun of me or not lol
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 10:17 PM
0

Of course it’s a matter of personal opinion and some people may feel the opposite, I’m just saying sleeping around does not imply body confidence. I certainly couldn't show my goods to a complete strangers for a variety of reasons lol. One includes comfort and being vulnerable around a complete stranger is much harder than with someone I trust. But eh Casual sex doesn’t mean it’s not mutual. You can have a lot of one night stands while caring about the other person’s pleasure. I don't think this…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 09:50 PM
0

I'm trying my best to communicate it to you but it's hard to explain unless you've lived it. The psychology of someone able to sleep around with random people, it has a lot going into it. You're confident enough in your body to be able to show your private parts to random strangers. You also need a bit of selfishness to hedonisticlly use a complete strangers for your pleasure. It's why people that are sociosexually unrestricted correlate with dark triad traits and stuff like that. Nothing immora…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 08:03 PM
0

If a woman enjoys sex she has to behave like a whore otherwise it is deception to men. If a woman behaves like a Madonna she is not allowed to enjoy sex. If a guy wants to be a Chad he has to behave like one. It's not so much behaving like a whore. Rather is that women will intentionally play up the Madonna archetype in order to appeal to male sensibilities. I totally think women can be sexual and classy/wifey but a lot of men on here can attest that the play up the Madonna archetype in the init…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 07:49 PM
3

it works for me more than being shady or hiding stuff tbh. I'd happily marry a girl of any past if she was up front about it
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 07:29 PM
3

yes omg this is basically what im trying to get at lol
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 07:28 PM
1

I kinda feel like I'm miccommunicating what I'm trying to say and u/DietTyrone pretty much nailed the situation im talking about. Playing up the madonna persona
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 07:28 PM
-2

Okay, let me be more detailed. There seems to be a semantic thing going on. > And what exactly do you mean by shy about sex? I interpreted that as shy openly talking about sex or something like that, which again, is totally possible even when having casual sex (sex outside of a relationship). I am specifically talking about very promiscuous activity that most people don't do. Statistically, most people are relationship-focused or more broadly, sociosexually restricted. They tend to have sex with…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 03:02 PM
1

I agree but was hoping to find men who have come to the same conclusion
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 02:36 PM
2

yeah pretty much
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 02:35 PM
1

If someone has had one-night stands or can have sex with men they barely know, then yes, it seems incongruent to be shy around sex. I have never met a man who has had a ton of one-night stands who acts shy around sex. By sweet, I'm referring to the born-again virgin archetype. Acting super sweet, shy, etc to get to you. Guys on here can attest that women do this.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 02:35 PM
-1

I mean yeah something insane would probably make me back up as well but
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 01:22 PM
1

I guess that's what I mean, I think most men will still fuck girls they don't even respect as human beings lol. I grew up around loads of them, they would be talking shit about them, calling them slurs, how they're worthless, not care about their feelings at all. I don't see women doing the same thing
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 10:53 PM
1

Romance is illogical. But there is method to the madness or we wouldn't have fuck boys or Casanovas. Or femme fatales! I used to be very good looking and yes sometimes girls were just making it absolutely easy to fuck me but it was very rare lol. The best that happens is a girl just makes it very easy to talk to her and it's up to me to lead it to the bed room. That "lead" part is what I'm saying what a guy can fuck up, even if he's hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 09:20 PM
1

There's always sense to it even for men. Like being funny and witty shows intelligence. Being confident shows a lot, too much to list.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 09:06 PM
1

I agree it's mostly looks and vibes but that's what I'm saying though. You said vibes. You don't think that is a sort of amalgamation of a ton of complex factors going into it? Confidence, swagger, looks, style, perceived status (being the most outgoing guy in the vicinity). My argument against you primarily involves the vetting process women do primarily because of safety. Women are naturally more sociable and aware of of social details because incongruity in character or signs a guy is secretl…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 06:36 PM
2

I'm not sure that's the case lol. If you meet a stud off an app but he's a stuttering anxious mess or is extremely boring, that shit is a mad turn off in a guy. Even my most promiscuous lady friends meet up with hot guys and do a vibe check first. Confidence comes with the territory naturally, especially if a guy is good looking and gets constant attention. High status jobs help signal power and status especially on apps. You are the same men who will say that women don’t care about personality …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 03:20 PM
13

I think the difference is that the men that women select for to have causal sex with still largely share the type of qualities found in what is an ideal partner to some degree. Or at the very least, the standards aren't that much different. Charming, handsome, high status job potentially, confident. These are all things ideal in a boyfriend as well, you just had a deeper emotional connection, time together, compatibilities in every area (spiritual, political, social, romantic, sexual) etc.. Men …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 09:55 PM
2

It's pretty bad in hindsight and unfair to the women and that's why I'm getting down voted for some comments. I'm not saying it's right but it's just what guys do 🤷‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 02:09 AM
1

No, I just kinda vibed along until it ran its course. If she was clearly falling head over heels for me I would have just ended it
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 10:04 AM
5

I agree with that, straight asking is strange. Well like, I try to be respectful of women's bodies and choices. Especially given she was young and stuff but to me that's a level of crazy shit I just wouldn't do lol
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 10:22 PM
7

I think men are far more guilty of it because the standards for who we would sleep with and date are dramatically different compared to women. I feel like if a girl is willing to sleep with a guy, the dude has some qualities that are good things for a boyfriend long term like confidence, being fun, attractive in general. Men will sleep with women the don't even respect as human beings it's kinda crazy
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 10:21 PM
1

Guys are very guilty of it across the board yeah lol. We hear or see something that we deem not wife material and into the fuck buddy category instantly. Guys know pretty quickly whether or not they're going to try and take you seriously
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 10:20 PM
10

Can't you tell when it is important to a guy though? I think at some point it just naturally comes up, these questions always are under the frame of being some sort of creepy detective but often times it's just a natural conversation in my experience. If I'm turned off by something in her past, I have every right to respectfully break it off, that goes both ways. For example, a girl was opening up to me about her reaction to her last boyfriend breaking up with her. She fucked all of his friends …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 08:46 PM
–

I mean sometimes it's dead clear but other times it can be a little gray. Being rejected from a girl in a friend group and then still continuing to flirt with her can sort of build attraction eventually. Or if you come back with an improved physique, that can help too. But if a girl is dead ass uninterested, it's very clear yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 11:02 AM
2

I agree but mostly because, you only become a good boyfriend or girlfriend by being a boyfriend and girlfriend. It goes both ways, a girl that has mainly slept around looking to settle down is also probably not going to be a good girlfriend because she just hasn't been a girlfriend. It's an entirely different skill set than seducing
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 01:54 PM
–

As I get older, I think for me it's the incongruity of behavior that annoys me. If a girl has slept around but wants to be treated like a princess, acts innocent and shy around sex, lies about her past, etc... to me that's a huge turn off. I would much prefer it if women were just honest about it if they are the type to hook up and sleep around. Own that shit, own being proud of getting down and dirty with random men lol. I've been friends with or have casually seen women that sleep around a lot…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 01:30 PM
8

Yeah ... When a girl who I know has slept around is making me wait, it makes me take the girl less seriously instantly lol like wtf
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 09:42 PM
1

It's only one part of it. However, the more men she has had to sample, the more she has to cross-reference and compare you to her previous partners. Considering that good sex is a very valuable and important part of this, being with a girl who, when the topic of "best sex ive had" comes up, doesn't think of you immediately, it lowers your chances of a happy, affectionate, and loyal relationship. I have been with women where I have been the "best" they've had in almost every category they can thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 05:14 PM
1

One compelling argument I've heard is that, women can't fully love a man that they don't perceive to be their best catch. Which is why, a lower count is ideal. Less guys to compete with in her mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 01:59 PM
2

I think women just feel more comfortable expressing their horniness within the confines of a committed relationship. Most of my female friends are way more comfortable talking about driving sex with their boyfriends than with random dudes
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 10:18 AM
5

When guys say this I think they've never had a girlfriend who's genuinely extremely into them. I've had a few girlfriends where they're happy, emotionally invested, some even in love. And their sex drives are fucking insane. I'm begging for mercy lol like 4 times a day type shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 10:17 AM
5

Overall it's good advice. Reminds you that to keep her you need to be on your A game, constantly be improving, etc because she can replace you on the drop of a hat given how many options she has.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 10:07 AM
3

I think the main thing here is that, it's not necessarily that this 20 percent of guys are the billionaires of the world. It's more that, they date the contextual alphas around them. Usually I'm one social context, there really is like 2-3 really attractive men, either because of looks, charm or what have you. Think back to college or highschool. That's how it was, it was the "alphas" of each place that got all the ladies. They're not necessarily alphas in the grander market place, just generall…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 01:49 PM
1

I used to hold hands and kiss my best friend on the cheek (I'm a dude and she was a girl). It was always platonic. I think our of respect to my girlfriends I would stop that just so issues don't arise but i think it's possible for intimacy to be platonic.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 02:55 PM
1

Not sure I think it's purely physical attraction though. I think that varies wildly, it's more just around their social groups and interests
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 09:08 PM
1

Lol thanks for the discussion
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 12:03 PM
-2

Hey, I'm striving to be sweet and confident at the same time. I grew up a momma's boy and I couldn't imagine doing the things OP listed on this post. I have treated my girlfriends like queens 😤 I'm just trying to contextualize why so many of these guys exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 11:36 AM
0

Well the thing is, in some sense it is a reward. Women aren't doing it intentionally and this is speaking on a macro scale. But if certain behaviors and traits get sex/relationships, then men are going to move that way even more and just get more female attention and sex. It takes a lot of work to even get dates as a man and if cultivating a selfish, ego personality works than it sort of shows men how to act like.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 11:17 AM
-1

I'm not blaming women for anything it's just the way things are. That group of nice men in talking about, there's a chance one of them turns to the dark side and starts hitting the gym more and learning to approach/be unflinching in his pursuit of women. He will then get rewarded for doing so and thus another dumb guy is created. A huge driver for me to do things in life is sex and women, that's just reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 11:11 AM
3

I agree with most of these but I have some buddies that are progressive, sweet, good job, great dudes that can't get anything either. Truth is, women out in the real world reward men that carry these traits with sex and relationships. Selfish, narcissistic men end up being the ones that go to the gym a lot and learn to approach women. I wish that wasn't the case and I think you can be a confident, valuable caring partner with a lot of confidence while taking out all of the traits you mentioned. …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 10:54 AM
2

I still go out to clubs because what else am I supposed to do 😭
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 02:36 PM
2

Liking hot women is biological programming. Aiming exclusively for women that look and act like teenagers isn't. Plenty of hot women that look mature yo
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 04:58 PM
2

Agreed 🥲 so sad
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 04:07 PM
6

Victim blaming is vile
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 02:46 PM
9

I'm 29 and recently went on a date with a girl that was 22. She looked like a baby. I didn't know she was that young, I met her at the club through cold approach and she was dolled up and dressed sexy. But on the date her face looked like a babies it was a huge turn off lol. Generally, I don't want to be dating girls at this point, I want women. The lines can cross sometimes I'll admit and it depends on how mature she acts/looks but guys that exclusively aim for that are weird fs
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 02:28 PM
5

I don't think the options point is exclusive to just my age group (late 20's, early 30's). I think every age group is feeling this. My point was that, the women in my past largely preferred meeting men in person and took that more seriously, but apps have taken that over now. To clarify, I wasn't the ladies man for that long. It was 2 years of my life, between ages 23-24. I was just a normal person in high school and had high levels of anxiety for my early youth. I mostly agree with your points …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 02:22 PM
5

Idk, most of my uncles, my big brother, etc didn't struggle as much as I am now, at relative ages.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 02:03 PM
3

Wish it were that easy for men on apps lol but good to hear it hasn't changed much for you
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 01:59 PM
3

I think women end the marriages more because women are generally very good at picking out problems in relationships. But they let that energy manifest badly and if the issues don't resolve it ends in a divorce
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 08:51 PM
5

Well those really masculine men were also more likely to cold approach, so they'd have more success in that way given how much success depends on just fucking landing dates in the first place. I come from a minority background where the men all work themselves into an early grave working physically demanding jobs. Pretty much all my uncles, cousins, big brother, etc had constant women in their lives. They were constantly cold approaching and building up their social circles on weekends, partiall…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 05:30 PM
-4

This study defines casual sex as sex outside of a committed relationship lol that's every human on the planet not a nun
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/25 02:24 AM
3

Most people don't though. The average partner count is like 7 or something. Having a casual sex heavy lifestyle is definitely like 30 percent of the population.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/25 02:23 AM
3

No, it's actually being able to pick up women that takes a lot of work. Plenty of men party, but only a few get any action out and about at bars/clubs. Most men are terrified of rejection. If it were easy, we wouldn't have this sub lol. I have had a more extravagant social life than most people on here, but it took work. The point is, being a shy guy is a death sentence. You need to become social, outgoing, and confident, and that takes a lot of work. It just does. I am one of the few guys in my…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/25 12:58 AM
7

This just isn't true though, most women are long-term dating strategy-minded. You're adhering to circle bias.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/25 11:32 PM
3

I agree that caring about "purity" as a concept is weird and icky. However, rejecting a woman for her past can be a logical decision and is entirely acceptable. I don't like people saying it's ALWAYS rooted in insecurity because there are plenty of reasons to reject a woman from the stuff you hear about her past. The two main issues are sociosexual compatibility and potential damage from that era of her life. I think the modern world wants to imagine a fairy land where casual sex is this wonderf…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/25 11:30 PM
3

As someone who was the guy you're talking about (huge social group, etc), it's not true that it's natural to MANY men. There's a small amount of exceptional men just born with outlandish confidence and social skills, but that isn't true for the majority of men, and that number is only decreasing now. There's an ocean of difference between showing up to a location and being the one that has to master the art of approaching strangers, learning to get rejected, etc... It's not in the same ocean. If…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/25 10:33 PM
2

I don't want that lol. I think it's a select group of crazy dudes that literally want a virgin
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/25 09:09 PM
2

But doing the latter stuff you mention is extremely hard. I remember once when I was dating a dime girl that I met from the club, I was just kind of mad at just how much I had to do to get her to be in the bed with me. Hit the gym for months, literally go out and practice socializing, build up my entire social network, learn pickup, fight through my social anxiety, CHANGE AS A PERSON etc. all this dime has to do was show up to a club looking cute. I did most of the talking at first too. It's a f…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/25 08:06 PM
5

I'm not upset about it generally, I was answering the question. It really only upsets me when I meet a girl who's slept around a LOT (I'm talking 20 plus partners and out there promiscuous activity) and ends up looking back fondly on it/falling into a happy marriage. For one example, I have a friend who slept around a lot in college, 30 plus dudes. And she is soon here going to marry a literal virgin guy who is willing to dedicate his entire life to her financially. It just annoys the shit out o…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/25 08:02 PM
3

I agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/25 07:56 PM
1

I'm not for attacking women for it, it's the just way things are. I feel for girlies too, it just sucks in general now
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/25 07:56 PM
5

Mainly because we know how hard it is to access casual sex as a man. Yet women can just open apps and get dms from a million guys. Most women are long term dating strategy minded, so a majority of them don't even partake in casual sex regularly. But the frustration comes from women not understanding just how hard it is to get to the point of having the ability to consistently get casual sex
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/25 06:32 PM
3

I don't know how common this is tbh. My entire life, the men that sleep around completely match onto the social sciences claims on correlating with narcissism, dark triad traits, etc... I always say, I wish casual sex were this fairy land of communication, healthy caring about one another but it just ain't.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/25 09:24 AM
8

I mainly think the floor for what women find acceptable for looks is way lower than people think. Decent shape, style well, groom yourself and care about your looks. Once that threshold is met, you can make up a lot with personality/charm/creating that emotional connection/sexual tension/fun/spontaneous/ etc ...
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/25 05:08 PM
3

I would say it's more the ability to capture attention, however that manifests. If you're an exceptionally good looking guy, you stick out. If you're extremely outgoing to an insane degree, that works too. Ideally you're both
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/25 05:03 PM
1

Yeah I agree
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 12:02 PM
7

Pretty much...and they just wait for that organic meeting. That's most of my lady friends. Those women aren't out at clubs regularly or on apps generally.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 10:11 AM
1

Based
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 09:38 AM
1

What part of my post are you addressing directly? I'm confused. Are you talking about the ones left over for us or all women/Genuine
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 09:32 AM
1

Fr
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 09:26 AM
2

Yeah agreed. You're left with cold approaching and the women left aren't exactly ideal. But occasionally you can get lucky, my last girlfriend was super sweet and I met her at the club. Ended up having issues lol but I was in love and everything.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 09:26 AM
3

Pretty much. But I think buying into that reality is just unhealthy for everyone involved so I just wanted to state my case as to why this isn't reality. Yeah most of my friends don't know this stuff either and are at home right now with partners they met organically, theyre happy and were on here crying each day lol
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 09:13 AM
0

Idk, before apps really, really took off, dating was much easier because there was no other option. I find that women that don't use dating old and rely on meeting people in person are much more down to just go on a date with a guy they met in class, social event or at a bar or what have you.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 03:52 PM
1

Then how do you explain people like me who do actually get action off line? And end up having great relationships
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 03:26 PM
1

Yeah absolutely. After high school/college you pretty much have to learn to cold approach strangers and bring them into your life in order to have anything going.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 01:36 PM
4

You think the standards on tinder are the same as in person? That hasn't been my experience and it makes sense from a psychological perspective. Halo effect and familiarity bias exist as tangible concepts.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 01:33 PM
4

It's not that dichotomous. I've never had success off apps ever in my fucking life but in person I at least have a non-zero chance on net to get a yes if I keep at it enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 11:44 AM
1

I still think women would be much more willing to give some guys a try in person because the easiest place is out of the question.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 11:11 AM
3

I still think that communities can hold events that are both relatively cheap or free and alluring enough to draw in a lot of people. Nice apartment complexes try to do this but no one shows up to the events lol. Meetup's try and have events like this but most people aren't consistent.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 11:10 AM
8

We need to figure out a way to bring a college-esque social environment to the modern world. Everyone is prevetted because of college, there is commonality of wanting to make friends and socialize, constantly seeing the same people, you're pushed to venture out and find people, etc... it's stupid easy in college to get action or a girlfriend for this reason, it just happens for most people. Sit next to a girl at a class and bam, or join a club and bam. I got so much action in college and it was …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 05:24 AM
–

I think the world would be better without dating apps for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 04:55 AM
–

It's more just having a decent figure. I've always been a bulkier dude, when I'm skinny I look in a good shape. If you're naturally very bony then I would putt on some mass. But as long as you have that triangle upper body and lower body fat percentage, you should be fine. You don't need to be that buff or that extra, just general fitness and depending on your body type, even just dieting right will do it
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 10:23 PM
–

Most guys don't put in any effort absolutely. Don't know basic fashion, don't get proper haircuts, upkeep with grooming, etc... Women like pretty men so become obsessed with your looks as much as women are
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 08:45 PM
7

I think it's true that women that just want sex are pickier with looks and women that want relationships are less picky. I also think a lot of men don't have a lot to offer yet want to be dating models. Idk
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 04:23 PM
1

I mean that does it have to do with anything though
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 02:02 PM
1

5'9. I'm actually short for the area I'm in relatively
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 01:59 PM
1

No, I'm average
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 01:32 PM
4

The crazy girl has to be looking to settle down, that's the key
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 12:21 PM
5

Nah not really. They have like the lowest self esteem, hence them going above and beyond to keep you around. You just gotta be their soulmate (compatible in every area)
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 12:20 PM
3

If you're the first guy to be sweet and caring to a crazy chick, you have her for the rest of your life. No one loves like a crazy girl lol 😅 it's a problem for me because I've been spoiled from how they have treated me.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 12:01 PM
1

The distinction the women on here make though is that they're not fucking all of them. And that's true in my life even for the promiscuous women. I think a girl fucking 3-5 dudes on rotation is exceptionally rare personally, and the anecdotal evidence from the women on here suggests the same
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 06:07 PM
1

I mean yeah. I was saying in another comment that I would be pretty pissed if I was taking a girl out on nice dates, getting intimate with her safety and personal life, putting in a lot of effort...and the girl still is messing with other men. If it's a FWB or Fuck buddy, you just have to assume that's what they're doing. I think most women here fundamentally understand that distinction and don't desire the latter. They want one dude at a time they can invest time and effort into to see if it pa…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 05:55 PM
1

I don't know, in my personal life I have the opposite experience. And I mean if all parties are cool with it then why not you know.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 05:43 PM
1

Greek life is a biased sample though no? Notoriously degenerate shit lol
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 05:29 PM
2

I mean, to me if I'm taking a woman out on nice dates, putting in effort that is above that which you would do for a FWB or fuck buddy (care about her life/safety intimately, constant communication, we hang out a lot, lots of effort out into dates, etc) and she still feels the need to go out and have sex with other men, I think we're fundamentally incompatible because morally I couldn't do that (not that it's morally wrong necessarily but personally I would feel terrible doing that). I think nor…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 05:12 PM
3

Nah that's the beauty of humanity, everyone is different and we should be respected. For me, stuff like that is a turn off usually, especially if I've been taking her out in nice dates and stuff like that I would be so fucking pissed lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 04:58 PM
6

Personally if I found that out I'd probably end up not taking the person seriously lol. But hey, nice to hear a diff answer compared to other women on here! Hell yeah
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 04:32 PM
2

Difference between dating a bunch and having sex with a bunch though. Dating a bunch is a smart strategy so you can choose the best one for a long term relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 03:57 PM
3

Get it queen
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 03:13 PM
5

Guys push each other to be fuck boys basically. I've come to find out I just don't have it in me, I always feel too bad. Even with girls that just want casual I'm super caring and talk to them to check in with their feelings and stuff. So idk
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 02:47 PM
2

Idk what I'm doing right but every girlfriend I've had has had a way higher sex drive than mine and wants to have sex like 3 times a day or more. It gets exhausting lol. I'm pretty giving as well but then emotions get involved and they don't want to see me again due to heartbreak.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 02:46 PM
1

This is what I do basically and my friends make fun of me lol
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 02:41 PM
5

That's cute that you married your first guy!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 02:41 PM
1

Pretty much my experience. My promiscuous bestie is pretty much just fucking one guy at a time but has dudes on the back burner when she's done with them
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 02:40 PM
0

Based
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 02:40 PM
3

I feel the same way as a guy and my guy friends make fun of me but idk raised a momma's boy and just picture guys doing that to my mom growing up and I feel bad
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 02:39 PM
1

I fully understand that online dating is a different set of standards. I think women select much more fairly in person.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 10:38 AM
1

Women select much more naturally off apps. I'm not one of these hoeflation dudes. I've had shots with women in person because they can feel out my personality. I can also just build attraction with time, exposure, being charming, building sexual tension, etc. My lady friends are like this as well, where (the ones that even use online dating, most don't) they're extremely picky online because...I get the feeling it's like "if I'm going to risk going on an awkward/safety risk date, he might as wel…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 10:37 AM
1

I think I can agree with separating the fuck boys from the straight creepy pushy dudes for sure. I think there's a correlation (backed by social science as well with the more promiscuous men scoring higher in dark triad traits and narcissistic behavior) but I think that's ultimately fair. Even talking about getting ghosted and lamenting not being able to land a buff hot man after he ghosts you is weird as fuck behave though, especially with sharing info with other random women. Like what is it t…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 02:54 AM
2

Absolutely
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 01:27 AM
17

It's just kind of end game online dating vibes. It's just kinda depressing if you really think about it. Women are dating the top 5 percent of men on these apps and want to make sure these narcissistic overly handsome men are not dating anyone else or are too pushy sexually. Of course they're going to be and the same women giving these guys all of the dates are causing the issues in some fashion. I'm pretty anti-online dating and this is why. BOTH sides act in ways that aren't fucking normal, th…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 12:38 AM
2

It's an average. Women are based friends because they've literally been trained to be caring and connections oriented from birth. That's not to say there aren't piece of shit women but it took me a long time to find guy friends who: can open up to me emotionally and also be affectionate with me (in a non homo way lol) be a consistent friend that is willing to work on a platonic relationship (upkeep, doing events together, willing to talk out issues in our relationship) be actually fun to talk to…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 07:37 PM
1

At the clubs. Pretty easy to do, lots of volume. I'm a biased sample though, I was in the pickup community for a while and learned from hanging with those kinds of fuck boys guys growing up as well. (I'm not in that community anymore but still love being able to go up to strangers). Truth is, most guys don't approach. Cold approaching a woman at a bar/club is probably one of the most available ways to get some action but most guys won't do it. And even more guys won't do it outside of a bar/club…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 04:23 PM
1

Last Saturday, I approached like 30 women lol
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 03:56 PM
2

This is absolutely true and anyone denying this is not living in reality. Men are terrible friends to each other, at the very least they're terrible at being emotional soft places to land. My happiness went up tremendously after getting close with my current friend group. I have people that care about me, want to build a future with me, I can be as pathetic emotionally as possible and the still want to be around me. I can complain about women flaking on me 🤣, I have women in my life that push me…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 02:56 PM
1

I think men can't sacrifice this in the bedroom. If she let an ex do something in bed that she won't let him, that ends up creating a lot of tension
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 10:08 PM
1

When you meet a guy who is picky as well
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 10:07 PM
2

That aint the same thing as saying it to a romantic option
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 10:06 PM
2

Well, often times the insecurity is justified though depending on the type of guy. I remember when I was younger dating a girl WAAAAY more experienced than me. She was trying to get me to do extremely kinky things to her and I just was not comfortable with it. I was basically like "yeah I can't give you the kind of sex the other guys you've been with have given you" and the difference in sexual chemistry was very apparent. There's a thing called sociosexual compatibility and I really felt it the…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 09:14 PM
8

It's absolutely hypocritical. I don't do that so I feel safer holding this standard
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 09:07 PM
5

But there's a marginal security in being with a woman that needs an emotional connection to have sex, cause she can't get that just anywhere. It takes time to build that, takes time to find that I absolutely agree with this. It hurts when I break up with a girl and she can just fuck dudes left and right after me when I had to do so much work to land her in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 09:04 PM
3

Women want to feel special too. Isn't that what love is? "This is THE one." I want a connection before anything sexual happens
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 08:59 PM
5

I think it's tough on women for sure. I'd rather a girl be straight up with me about everything
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 08:35 PM
0

I don't think it's fanfiction though. I think what's happening is, the large majority of single women are the ones that most men would categorize in this insane crazy girl category. The ones on apps and out clubbing every weekend are going to be the ones that are doing the most really promiscuous activity. It's definitely not most women though if that is what you're getting at, I agree with that. I've been friends with majority women my whole life and none of them are like that
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 08:29 PM
1

I mean, it's just like that: women who are high libido and/or like kinky sex will have sex, lots of it. Because they want it. I hear this argument from women that they don't understand men being turned off by very promiscuous women if we also want women that are hyper sexual within relationships. I'm saying that the two don't correlate often, you can be kinky or super horny and not sleep around and we see that here with a lot of me just unable to get laid. FWB thing, fair point.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 08:27 PM
3

Nah that's messed up imo
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 08:20 PM
2

It all comes out eventually. I don't get how couples go this entire lives not knowing everything, in my experience it just all happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 08:16 PM
2

Idk, maybe I got #rizz but women just spill the beans to me lol out of their own free choice. I know every girl I've been with past in and out. I think it has something to do with me seeming nice and committed, little do they know 😈😈
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 08:14 PM
2

I'm consistent. If they don't want to date me because of some of the stuff in my past that's fine with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 08:13 PM
-1

It takes a lot for me to say I love you but that has like semantic elements right? I would only say I love you to women I want to marry and that's very few lol. So maybe just diff personalities there. So listen. If a woman has had sex solely within trusted relationships (FWB counts too), that's a plus to me. That seems to be what you're under the assumption most women do. But, when men talk about "beware these women" it's women that do what the girl in my post did. Fucked like 5 dudes to get bac…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 08:12 PM
2

Because it absolutely affects you to an unconscious level. A lot of my personal demons in life were "given" to me by my upbringing (I.E my past) and general environment. I have confidence issues because of psychological abuse from my parents growing up. I like wifey women because I was born into a Christian Latino upbringing. I'm scared/extremely upset of hearing women get hurt because I'm reminded of my mom getting hurt by my dad (not trying to be a sob story here just saying to illustrate a po…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 08:06 PM
1

If you love that many people, to me that means the person's qualifications for love are either very low or they're very swayed by momentary emotions. Telling a girl I love her takes a lot of time together, trust built and a history being with each other. For the other points I think you're not engaging with me specifically, you're talking to an abstracted out construct of a red pill dude on here lol. I agree with you that men that care THAT deeply about every type of relationship a girl has had …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 08:02 PM
7

Gonna get philosophical for a bit but, how do you know you are you? Why do you like certain types of foods, why do you have certain phobias, certain tendencies, psychological complexes. It's all related to your environment and yes, your past. That's what forms you, the one you are today. Past matters regardless, it's not just exclusive to sex. We're not creatures that act in the moment entirely out of free will. If someone has cheated in the past, it absolutely matters and should be examined. Sa…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 07:53 PM
-1

You can have a high libido and not sleep around. That such a weird point to bring up imo. Most men on here are horny freaks, they literally just can't get laid lol. Willingness to be kinky does not correlated with the amount of casual encounters you've had. I'm more kinky than my fuck boy friends and they've slept with 10 x the women. FWB I think is more fine but it depends on some factors like, if the guy doesn't care about her at all and she knew that to me that's a turn off but if it was a cl…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 07:44 PM
3

That isn't what I said though lol I'm literally saying that her being sexual with ex-boyfriends is a positive. You're putting words into my mouth lol. I'm saying if she's willing to be sexual with any dude ever no matter the type of relationship, yes it makes me feel less special. It has nothing to do with the amount of guys necessarily, it's the type of relationships. If she's throwing down with complete fuck boys that don't care about her as human beings, what makes the stuff she does for me s…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 07:39 PM
10

Because psychologically, it all matters. Someone's past history with their family matters, how they've treated friends in the past matters, it all matters. If she has a history of being in abusive relationships, that matters. It all fucking matters. Plus, rejecting someone for any reason in general is fine, men get rejected for being bald which is literally out of their control and women get rejected for all sorts of reasons. It's all fine
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 07:36 PM
4

See, I don't agree. If it's with loved and trusted men, to me that's a positive! She can keep our sex lives spicy
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 07:31 PM
1

It's individualistic and some guys go too far for sure. Idk, most of my ex-girlfriends have told me everything. Not in detail, but I mean it just naturally comes out. If she's been tied up before, you can tell from the way she acts around it you know. The conversations naturally come up, especially if sexual communication is good.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 07:28 PM
1

Women just tell me everything at some point, I think because they realize men care about this pretty universally to one extent or another. Most guys, even really progressive dudes, wouldn't date an ex sex worker. Eh just the way it is
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 07:22 PM
6

I don't think it applies to just sex. If you're the 20th person he's said "I love you" to, are you going to think it's meaningful? There's a discussion here also that wanting a relationship to feel "special" is a bad thing to expect to begin with. Perhaps relationships should be pragmatic first. But it's a purely emotional reaction, I'm not out here shaming women. They can go be with someone else but for me it's a turn off
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 07:19 PM
1

She liked your personality enough to sleep with you. You have a good sample of your personality and it was enough to close the deal for a casual sexual encounter. Guys wouldn't even care about that most of the time, which is why women largely complain about feeling "used" or "not cared" for during casual sex encounters. Because a lot of guys don't give a fuck about the person as individuals when it comes to causal sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 07:52 PM
1

The vibe was on though right? You didn't fuck it up being awkward as fuck? The vibe being in is important for a BF too. You are the level of attractiveness they would want in a BF too. Some of my guy friends will literally fuck chicks they think are crazy and annoying lol
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 07:43 PM
5

I mean that's still seperate from only being into a man for his looks though. I think a key difference between men and women is that men have completely different standards for who they would fuck and who they would date. Plenty of guys would sleep with girls they never have any intention of dating or even respecting as human beings lol fuck boys are notorious for this. Whereas the men women choose to sleep with are generally ones they would date to some degree, even if the context is a casual r…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 07:12 PM
6

Yeah, I've rarely ever seen this irl lol
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 06:52 PM
3

I mean, most men have this line of civil unity that they won't cross. Most guys don't want conflict. If I had a buff dude bothering me, I would tell him to back off. If he didn't and started escalating, I'd just get legal stuff involved. This isn't the damn wild West, we're in a society. Plus, we have guns lol muscles don't mean shit. I've hung out with alpha, buff guys, they're usually chill bro. Most guys don't want conflict
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 11:29 AM
3

Eh not really man we're not in the middle ages anymore lol. Big tall guy starts being an ass hole if just block him. If he tries to escalate I'll just get the cops involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 10:05 AM
9

Difference between being a push over and being a nice confident guy. Everyone respects a nice confident guy, even ass holes. I've been friends with raging, red pill overly masculine men and they end up loving me because I'm confident and can go out to talk to women with them but I also am sweet and careful about them as human beings. No one respects a tame, shy nice guy who's nice out of fear or trying to people please
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 03:16 AM
1

I feel like sexualizing stuff in different contexts takes different levels of boldness. Flirting with a girl out and about during a day social event, or get together is enough to make it intense because there's no alcohol and it's a very organic, unsexualized environment. Whereas at a bar, you basically have to be fucking on top of them to get the same result lol
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 07:04 PM
2

Not really man I don't agree. I have me and women wait too. Knowing you both like each other a lot before having sex dramatically increases the chances of a relationship happening. By wait, I'm not talking like a year or something lol but waiting a couple of dates to start doing that stuff is a useful strategy on both sides
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 03:44 PM
7

I mean, that heavy romantic sexual spark in the beginning is a huge positive for sure. But, even if a girl is horny, her wanting you guys to wait to make it a more serious venture to me is a green flag
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 03:26 PM
15

Women wanting a deep connection before having sex is a green flag and I also don't see what it has to do with a woman's past lol. Caring about someone past is fine but this post is as you say straight YAPAENESE
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 02:38 PM
1

You can be a nice surprise. Get rid of women being in the picture and have you ever had a guy just start a conversation with you randomly? And the vibe was great? Energies meshing is a spectrum, there are some people that I meet and instantly feel like I've known them forever. Whereas there are some coworkers that I see everyday that I want nothing to do with. Sometimes it's just funny lol and sometimes the women themselves are down to continue chatting just for fun. I've sat down with women and…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 11:42 PM
–

Isn't the number for dead bedrooms like 15 percent? As in haven't had sex in the last year? Cheating is like 25 percent or so. Plus that's all separate from consensual non-monogamy lol that shit is EXTREMELY rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 08:48 PM
–

Open marriages are so exceedingly rare, I don't understand even bringing this up lol. 90 percent or more of society falls into serial monogamy and eventually just marrying.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 08:42 PM
2

Eh, most people are down to at least chat dude. You'd be surprised lol having a fun conversation with a stranger is a reward in of itself
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 04:56 PM
8

Yeah I don't agree and am glad I have lady friends in my life that are supporting of me shooting my shot. My bestie encouraged me to ask this girl out at the farmers market the other day lol. My only dates have been through either cold approach or social gatherings 🤷‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 02:37 PM
5

Same here, it really is usually a positive experience for both parties. Very rarely is it this crazy thing lol
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 02:19 PM
32

Kind of why I don't like when women say men shouldn't cold approach women. Like what else are we supposed to do? Most of my lady friends actually support me going out and approaching women, some even help me at bars. But there's a big stigma against doing it online and I think it makes men just not want to do it when, that's how an average guy can stick out in the market. Reality is, men I know that get laid ignore the social stigmas against approaching women and they get laid the most 🤷‍♂️ the …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 01:59 PM
10

Yeah honestly I get how men fall down a rabbit hole. Having to go out and face brutal rejection left and right just for the chance of one girl saying yes sucks.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 01:00 PM
11

Yeah... really, I started getting dates when I started to ask girls out. Going out to parties where I went around talking to everyone so the women at the party can see I had a lot of social value. I'm naturally introverted but I was like "yeah I don't have an option if I want to date"
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 12:28 PM
31

I gotta make more than her, be confident enough to not be scared of anything and go for what I want unapologetically in the face of conflict, in decent shape, I don't have the option of being introverted I need to be outgoing. It often pisses me off when I'm trying to get with a really shy, cute girl because I'm like yeah if I was this shy no one would ever talk to me lol
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 12:24 PM
–

The problem is, you have to pass a certain threshold of value as a man to start seeing results. Whether that be months in the gym, working on rizz (as the kids say)/social charisma by doing mass approaches and making a bunch of friends (building that strong social circle or social avenues to which to meet people on top of learning to cold approach), upping your career (least important and takes the longest but still there). You won't see steady results, if any all, until a certain threshold of v…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 04:44 PM
2

Fair enough!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 09:41 PM
2

I'm down to do a lot of stuff just not the full mile before I get to know her and feel comfortable.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 05:10 PM
3

Idk man, if the vibes are strong I think most people would be down to wait, male or otherwise
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 04:43 PM
1

I mean, even on the first date, cuddling and making out and even touching is going on but I tell them I'm not comfortable going the full mile yet. Flirting is heavy with me because I'm Latino, dancing with them, telling them they're sexy and I want to marry them jokingly lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 04:38 PM
2

I think if the girl makes me feel extra comfortable and she seems trustworthy, it can happen more quickly.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 04:33 PM
2

Depends on the person? Definitely not a year lol. Depends on how much I have fun with the woman, how well we get along, etc... It's ranged from a few dates to 2 months
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 04:31 PM
1

Beautiful
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 04:27 PM
2

I think you're picturing a very innocent relationship at first. I think you can strike a balance of creating sexual energy and that spark while being upfront about wanting to wait until you feel comfortable
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 04:27 PM
0

This one was an off the cuff spur in the moment thing I'm just saying that waiting seems to be up most women's alley
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 04:16 PM
7

Getting to know someone doesn't make it any less casual? So fucking a complete stranger and a trusted friend are the same thing?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 04:05 PM
6

I don't want a girl I'm not comfortable with seeing my goods, is that so weird? Like this doesn't have to be necessarily we're in a Jan Austen novel, unable to even kiss until marriage. I'm fine with kissing, cuddling and talking about sex. I just don't feel comfortable doing it until enough of a connection is built. It doesn't necessarily have to be a romantic connection either, even a dope female friend suddenly wanting to fuck is fine with me. I'm comfortable around them and feel at ease
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 03:58 PM
9

Oh I make that clear. I'm very flirty and overt with my attraction, it's in my Latino blood. But I also make it clear I want to wait
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 03:32 PM
4

The other day I was making out with a girl from work in my car and she wanted to fuck and I told her we couldn't fuck tonight because we don't know each other yet. I could see the fire in her eyes light up lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 03:30 PM
2

Yeah for sure. I'm very vocal about finding her sexy/pretty/lovely to be around but also that I want to wait to feel comfortable
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 03:27 PM
5

My fuck boy friends say the same thing jokingly lol eh whatever it's funny
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 03:27 PM
3

Oh yeah I am very vocal about wanting to have sex but wanting to wait to feel comfortable
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 03:26 PM
6

Nah it's out of genuine comfort needs. I'm upfront saying I find them sexually attractive but want to wait to feel comfortable
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 03:26 PM
6

Yay :)
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 03:25 PM
26

This is true yes. Hard to argue against that, that's why guys that sleep around or have pretty girlfriends are respected by other men. We know how hard it is
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 01:57 PM
1

5'9 is the average in the U.S lol. I'm actually short for the area I live in actually
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/25 05:55 PM
1

5'9
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/25 05:36 PM
6

I noticed that a lot of "game" as a man is appearing like you have the ability to get a lot of women. The actual amount of women you've been with is immaterial. That's why confidence is attractive to begin with. Especially when engaging with really attractive women. It subcommunicates that you are used to being around hot women and are tough enough to handle anything. A ring is just a shortcut to project this phenomenon.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 02:45 PM
1

I personally have struggled with the complex my entire life. I slut shamed women growing up and get turned off by extremely promiscuous women even now. And in relationships, I have a hard time being super kinky with my girlfriends that im deeply in love with. So yeah it does exist, I have a friend RN who has a struggling relationship because of it, he watches porn to satisfy his fetishes because he can't be "rough" with his wife.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 11:10 AM
2

But people are down to chat regardless is my point
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 01:40 AM
1

I mean it is? Out of 1000 people some twisted fuck has to like you lol
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 02:58 PM
2

That's the thing, you have to just be a social person in general. Learn to love talking to strangers and the art of conversation. I think men hate that prospect and going out without coming back with results. But it takes time. Most men in here hate that they're not Brad Pitt looks and therefore get no results off apps. Well, go out there and learn to be social then, leverage other strengths
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 12:09 PM
1

Forget women, why not try just chatting up any strangers? You'd be surprised how friendly people are, especially given that everyone is too anxious to start the conversation
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 10:46 AM
0

Eh I mean, someone has to statistically find you attractive man. Literally statistically one person has to find you at least cute lol
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 07:10 AM
2

Basically I talk to a lot of women at the club until I find one that is super down. By super down, I mean she seems passionate about getting to know me, let's me touch her, follows me around, dances with me. High levels of interest. In this context, we're talk about at night, at a club. It's really not hard to talk to 30 women in like an hour or so since most rejections are quick and you can approach fairly anonymously at crazy clubs. Eh, I go out every other Saturday or so I've slowed down some…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 06:44 AM
1

I think there is some truth that like, in increasing volume of approaches, I'm essentially finding girls that find me specifically more attractive than the average person. Either because of bias (maybe they like Latino men or what have you) or they just fucking like me idk lol
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 06:41 AM
1

Elaborate
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 04:04 AM
2

The main one is just looking clean, well presented and being social/confident/going for what you want without apology. And don't bee too overweight. I literally don't think women are asking for that much tbh lol
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 02:24 AM
1

Average too idgaf lol caring about dick size is a damn American thing tbh. Latinos don't care 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 02:23 AM
1

Friend parties or work events stuff like that more "social circle"
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 02:21 AM
1

5'9
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 02:21 AM
0

I'm average height 5'9 and chubby rn. I'm objectively fat lol I'm like 40 pounds overweight
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 02:21 AM
1

I will say, if he's talking to a lot of women but none of them are meeting up with him, the something is off with his methodology. Statistically, at least one of them has to like him lol. He might be too friendly or not engaging enough or something. But this is an abstract skill that's hard to examine thoroughly so idk.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 09:48 PM
2

Agreed for sure. Style alone can boost up a man significantly.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 09:46 PM
1

You actually go out there because this is absolutely true lol. Some nights it's like the 30th girl I talk to is down to kiss and hang.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 09:46 PM
2

Pretty much. Because I'm chubby rn, will I have to approach more than chad? Sure, but eventually some will land and like me for who I am and what I offer now. Doesn't mean I'm gonna be stagnant and not try to lose weight and also doesn't mean I can't get some play now
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 08:45 PM
0

Why wouldn't it work for others though? Unless they have some neurodivergent social disability, learning to be social/ask girls out is a skill set that can be worked on.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 08:26 PM
2

Bars/clubs. Social events too
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 08:25 PM
5

But not many men even need that stuff. In any large place where people congregate, most men are just normal looking. Upping your style, fitness and stuff is a must for sure but acting like a large portion of men are fatalistically destined to be single because of their relatively normal faces is crazy to me
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 08:17 PM
-2

I'm not doing rocket science here. I'm just being social and going up to girls to talk to them like human beings. Asking them out on dates. Its really not something only a specific set of men can do. That's my point
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 08:16 PM
1

I think it's like. They're desperate for any sense of action so if they do all this work to even be relatively social and get nothing they just stay in that cycle of bitterness
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 08:15 PM
-1

For sure
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 08:10 PM
-1

What the hell is the point of discussing anything if we're just going to go off people's own specific world view?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 08:10 PM
3

I think all of those things you can work on though. I have slowly become more social by going out and practicing. I'm not lying, I'm Latino lol I'm reasonably tall for a Latino but relatively average in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 07:59 PM
1

Eh I don't think most men are actually just ugly AF as they think they are. I think most men are average, especially because we can't put in makeup and stuff like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 07:44 PM
4

Depends on the setting. At a bar/club, probably like 15 or more LOL
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 07:36 PM
3

Last few dates were cold approach
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 07:35 PM
4

Complete strangers. Although I'm mixing in social circle stuff as well. It is really low but tbh, its fun to even just chat to strangers lol so I don't mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 07:35 PM
3

It's just being social. The other day I saw a woman smelling these cleaning liquids and looked grossed out by the smell. I laughed and we got into a conversation about that and then to other stuff. I wasn't that attracted but right there I could've asked for her number you know
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 07:34 PM
4

Average height, 5'9
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 07:33 PM
8

Kissing, some stuff you know. You have to create a great vibe. Make her laugh, tease her, etc...
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 06:21 PM
5

Being a fun challenge, flirty (hold my hand in nervous right now 🤭), lots of "us" frame, teasing her, strong eye contact, being risky with some things you say to her (my favorite asking her how old I look. They usually respond with "how old do I look?" I then check her whole body out and tilt her sideways to look at her ass. You know just being dumb lol).
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 07:23 PM
4

That's assuming the husband material guy doesn't have sexual swag. I think the best way to be is in between both extremes here. Be a sweet, caring guy who also has that sexual energy. For sure though, hook-up guy is better than being husband material. Mostly because women tend not to sleep with men they don't, on some level, see as a dating prospect. If she's down to fuck you, chances are she's down to date eventually too.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 06:52 PM
23

Within reason. I think both parties would care if the other gained too much weight. One of the things about marriage is that you keep each other on track. My friend has had his gf for 3 years and he gained a lot of weight since they started dating. The sex got less and less frequent. He lost weight and the sex came back strong.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 01:06 PM
1

Yeah I mean women report sex with boyfriends being far more pleasurable than with short term dating partners for that reason. Boyfriends have a higher chance of learning your body and caring about getting you off. Hook up/ONS guys basically just want a human flesh light lol
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/25 03:57 PM
6

I think every girl I've dated has had a higher sex drive than me so lol
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/25 03:19 PM
2

Exactly
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/25 03:19 PM
3

I think it's as basic as this: women need to trust a guy to sleep with them more than the average man needs to trust women. It's primarily out of safety necessity. They're just as horny as us on average lol but they have to do things men don't because of safety and men having the propensity to do scary shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/25 03:08 PM
3

Gonna get philosophical for a second but changing identities is always a hard to pinpoint process. We change our identities constantly, even naturally with age, time and events that happen to us. Going to the gym and going out and practicing social skills is no different than this, you're just self propelling it. It's still YOU just a more confident version of yourself. If you don't feel more whole at the end of the journey than you are doing it wrong
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 09:09 PM
8

You're missing the point of what I was saying. Men can eventually start getting dates but they generally need to pass a threshold of value that is a formula of looks+status+charm. Unless the guy is just naturally absurdly good looking (which is rare) he's going to have to work to get dates. Even with girls he doesn't think are attractive. When men say they're getting no matches they literally mean that. Zero matches.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 05:49 PM
6

Yeah but it's a lot more complicated than it sounds. Learning to approach women is a whole skill set in of itself that takes work and time. You prob won't get any dates for awhile because you're so anxious and not used to asking women out. With time and practice it gets easier. It helps if you're in shape and dress well because women tend to make it easier if you're attractive. It's an all encompassing venture. Apps are horrendous for men unless you're literally top 5 percent in looks and even t…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 05:33 PM
4

I can't even get 1 girl to hang with me, attractive or otherwise lol. Unless I got my shit on point (cold approaching and social circle stuff on lock). Most men on apps quite literally get zero matches or ai bots
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 05:13 PM
5

Nah man, honestly past having your own place that shit won't help you lol. Unless you're literally dating gold diggers which you don't want to be dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 04:59 PM
1

I'm friends with older women. My thing is that, I don't think the maturity thing is even necessarily true lol. I think a lot of the older women in my life are just as teenage girly as the young 20 year olds. They act just as jealous and irrational as some of the younger girls. The main differences are usually negative. They're not going to look AS attractive as younger women. They have less time to have babies as younger women. There's also a high chance of coming with set ways, baggage or bound…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 04:56 PM
1

Yep. It's easy to fall into being angry at the state of things. We both had to do so much to even get a semblance of action. However, I don't think we can blame this on women. A patriarchal society where we put the value a man has on their wallet or their status overall is fucked. We should be valuable as human beings for just being nice to others. Disagree on rich though, I think it's mostly just being confident and charming lol. I have plenty of friends with great jobs that struggle with datin…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 04:44 PM
8

Wrong. It's usually no more difficult for a man than for a woman to get a date with someone they want to go out with. In what world is this reality? The stats for apps are abysmal, it's 80 percent men and 20 percent women. Most of my guy friends never have ANY dates lined up. I have to go out and get rejected 30 plus times to get one date. My bestie opened up tinder and had a date with a ripped white guy the next day.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 04:32 PM
20

See, in my experience, finding a girlfriend/long term partner once a man passes a certain threshold of value is really easy. Most women (even according to the social sciences) want boyfriends. I understand the fat/ugly women are going to have a hard time finding a husband or guy that genuinely cares about them. But for men, to even get A SINGULAR date, it takes a lot of effort lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 03:43 PM
31

The thing with anything, red pill starts off somewhere understandable. It's hard being a man, our value isn't inherent to us. You either have to become very good looking (lots of gym time), very socially savvy/flirty/confident/charming (which is difficult to work on, very abstract) or very wealthy (self explanatory on how difficult it is) to leave a mark on the world around you. I understand how that can be frustrating. I didn't start seeing results with women (or just socially or gain respect f…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 02:17 PM
0

You need a certain level of maturity and experience but I think dating someone from work is rather normal despite the stigma
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/25 09:58 PM
0

Work part time at a restaurant bruh lol
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/25 09:57 PM
1

You can't beat the libido of a woman in love lol
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 12:24 AM
9

Idk man. Getting off the Internet for a sec, I've honestly rarely meet women that care that much. Friends, dates, etc... The ones that do care are usually the town hoes lol. So idk maybe listen to women?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 02:48 PM
36

Can't beat a ride or die regardless of how she currently looks. Also, men get less attractive too lol you see any guy above 55? The spiritual connection with each other is what matters, you guys live through the human condition together. That also means growing old together which entails letting go of looks at some point. Also the ages are crazy, one of my good friends is 37 and she's still hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 12:40 PM
-3

Do you really believe that this will be different for these men IRL ? If they are rejected on apps, they will be most likely rejected the same way IRL and for the same reasons. Anyone that says this, they don't have enough data from irl approaching or socializing because this is so blatantly untrue. I've NEVER had success on apps, all of my action has been through irl avenues. I'm currently texting a little college hottie I met at a club that I KNOW would never have even bothered to look at me a…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 01:33 PM
1

I just don't think it's that big a deal? I just get the feeling that when we're talking about this subject, women are imagining the worst fucking gross aggressive dudes possible doing the approaching. Even using the word approaching is just an online thing that I don't like, its just talking to people. Using common sense is fine. Obviously it isn't the best idea to ask a woman out if she's alone on the street in the middle of the night. That's social suicide. But honestly? Most of the interactio…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 02:07 AM
1

Why does chatting up a girl have to fall into PUA stuff lol. Men have been doing that since before PUA concepts were even invented. It's like when this topic is brought up, people jump to the extreme ends of stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 03:29 PM
4

LMAOOOOOOOOOO
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 03:23 PM
5

I have no idea what youre on about lol
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 02:29 PM
2

yeah thats why it shocks me how against it some men and women are on here
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 02:28 PM
3

I'm work in an area with a small town vibe and women be talking to each other nonstop lol
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 02:25 PM
–

I have the same problem lol just a degree in yapanese. I'm glad to see a fellow American that is open to being sociable and talkative! It really isn't as weird as people make it out to be, get out there and talk to people lol
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 02:10 PM
–

Yeah like. It really never ends up being that big of a deal lol. The worst rejections I've ever gotten have been at bars/clubs where a lot of reddit women sat in "appropriate" to approach. Women are ruthless at bars and clubs. I've been called too short, yelled at, girls calling big buff dudes to beat me up lol. People are more polite and authentic out and about during the idea. It's the chance for a genuine connection.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 04:38 AM
–

Yes but the point is that he has
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 04:30 AM
–

I've gotten dates from it before lol. I think when done properly, it can be a positive experience for all parties. Even the women who have boyfriends or just aren't interested sometimes are just open to chat. I've had wonderful conversations with women whom I was trying to go for, but they have expressed they're not interested romantically. In reality, human connection is a spectrum. There are some coworkers or classmates I spend all day with for months at a time, and I want nothing to do with t…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 01:41 AM
–

Idk how much I agree with this. People have always met through mutual social gatherings, work, uni, school, church etc... that's the primary way and no debate there. But plenty of older men will say they used to go out and hit on women all the time. My big brother is only 36 and he's not a chronically online person, he has no idea what pills are. But I've seen him pull dates from Walmart, bars, etc... Granted he's far more confident and sociable than 99 percent of men today but I would say it wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 12:46 AM
–

Eh, I think the online world has made it a bigger deal than it actually is. Talking to strangers is fine. It's really not a big deal lol I be complimenting men, women like whatever. Had a great conversation with a man yesterday, he was blasting rock you like hurricane while cleaning his car, we started gushing about rock/metal. Trying to see if you and a girl connect is just another version of this it's really not a big deal. I think most men just suck at socializing with strangers in general le…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 12:35 AM
1

Yes he was sociable but he had moments of struggling with his ego, he's hard headed, insecure, arrogant, quick to anger. It was always there. The other men were just as ass holish as he was. It shows up somewhere somehow in my experience, with enough time to get to know someone. He held a job but it was handy man stuff he did by himself, because he would mistreat his coworkers lol
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 09:06 PM
2

I mean yes I literally get the point that I have specific special experiences that have me better equipped than other people to point out those things. And actually everyone knew my dad was doing it he was a piece of shit growing up lol those unconscious negative emotions show somewhere somehow unless they're literally psychopaths
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 09:00 PM
3

Look at my other comment, you have changed my mind!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 08:49 PM
4

I can concede that maybe I was too strong on my position. I think I just generally have always had the radar because I grew up around these kinds of men my whole life. My dad was abusive to my mom, my big brother is a piece of shit, my uncles are all cheating, lying ass holes who cheat on their wives or manipulate the women around them etc... Perhaps I was conflating that experience I had early on with men in general having a keen eye for it. You have a point I will reassess my position on this …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 08:49 PM
1

My experience has been different personally. I think it's just experience with men of all kinds that gets you the wisdom on it. I grew up with a lot of misogynistic psycho guys so I just know them you know.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 08:45 PM
11

> Because every abuser I've known was obvious, blatant, cartoonishly evil and easily spotted. Women don't want to hear this but as a man, it's so easy to pick them out it's actually hilarious.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 08:38 PM
8

As a man, it's easy to point out narcissistic men. Like, SO easy that it makes me wonder how certain women fall for it in the first place. I grew up around men of all kinds but with other men, narcissistic men will be unfiltered. So I've learned to pick them out easily. I agree that we shouldn't fault women for getting conned. That's exactly what's going on...women that fall for guys like that are being conned into something. I don't like it when guys place the blame on women for being abused an…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 08:32 PM
4

I don't think this is true for the women around you just wanting to be friends. It's different when romance is involved by im vulnerable with my lady friends rn and they're far more supportive than my guy friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 02:15 PM
8

Agreed. But men are not "allowed" to embrace anything feminine. The only ones saying this are other men to each other though lol. In other countries, even extremely conservative countries, the men openly show love for each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 02:07 PM
7

Men suck at being friends and when I criticize this on this sub, men just say other men are incapable of being as "mushy" with other men as women are with other women. We need drastic change on a societal level to integrate femininity into our lives. However, individually it's absolutely accomplishable. Most of my current friends are relatively new. I put in the effort. I also made the effort to be more affectionate with my friends and expect the same care for my well being back. I think men don…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 02:03 PM
5

How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 01:55 PM
20

I think men being so crushed after breakups is a byproduct of not having any good support network. So men make their girlfriends their lover, mother, best friend and therapist all at once. This phrase just implores men not to get too attached to their girlfriends which idk how good of an idea that is. It's okay to love the shit out of your SO, but also have a healthy support network to get you through dark times
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 01:23 PM
–

I'm Latino. And I grew up an awkward nerd, I learned to be social and outgoing by stopping the bitching. I started going out and practicing, slowly building up my friend groups. I had fuck boys show me the ropes at bars and one of them showed me the ropes in college.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 01:03 AM
–

I just meant all of your friends. I've already paired up 2 of my lady friends with two guys introduced into our huge group. Guys are pre-vetted, have social ramifications for being dick wads. Women need to take advantage of their guy friends! I even go up to men they think are cute at bars and try to help hehe
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 07:47 PM
–

I'm saying make super close guy friends that are good with women and have them help you
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 04:52 PM
–

Source? The data I find on this isn't true. According to our study, fewer than one-quarter of Gen Z adults (23%) met their partner through a dating app, social media, or online community. At a time when so much of their life has been digitized, from school to socialization, meeting someone at a park, bar, or library may feel novel. Source: https://www.hims.com/news/dating-in-person-vs-online It has the sources and methodology there at the bottom. And this makes sense because most women aren't ev…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 04:51 PM
–

My friend with autism has tons of friends and I've helped him at bars to get some girls phone numbers. Focus on making friends first man, I hear you it sucks to have that but you gotta stay hopeful.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 04:38 PM
–

Have you tried? Men that say this literally just stay at home, fap all day and don't even bother trying. Or they're not introspective enough to realize if it's something they're doing wrong. If EVERYONE rejects you or has negative reactions, YOU are doing something wrong. Statistically, if I speak to 100 people at a bar, someone will like my vibe. It's just human nature.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 04:28 PM
–

This gets so tiring because like, dating apps are so obviously not the majority of women in the dating market.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 04:21 PM
–

It depends on what you mean by rejection. To me every little victory is a win. If I chat with a beautiful girl, even though she's taken, but she's happy to chat. Win. If I got a girl blushing but she's not from the city so she can't see me more than just that interaction. W. If you're counting victory as just getting laid, that's not a good mindset to approach anything. You got to have an abundance mindset, especially at bars with tons of people available to talk to. I'm happy single because I h…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 04:08 PM
–

I don't think this 20 percent thing exists.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 02:48 PM
–

Share your experience
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 02:41 PM
–

What does that have to do with anything? I'm young still personally (late twenties ) lol and yes it gets harder when you get older I'm not doubting that. But the majority of people single and complaining on here are probably between 20-30. Past 40 it gets harder because most people are married already. But it still isn't that hopeless I feel like anyone single and that old is probably dead set on finding a forever partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 01:20 PM
–

Yep exactly. You have to learn to love socializing, I have a post on this subreddit about it. Like befriending some fuck boy friends has helped me before I got all nerdy about dating stuff. Those men showed me the ropes at bars. People can help you, we're not alone. And if you're so unsociable that you can't make a male friend out and about at a bar or whatever, you need to not worry about dating and fix that first. I used to kill it on campus back in my day. Walking around making a lot of frien…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 01:05 PM
–

You can say that, I'm going to the club next weekend and going to try and get a bunch of numbers 🥳 part of the reason I champion approaching for men is we take fate into our own hands. I won't be beat. Becoming a sociable human being is also soul healing. I also hook up people I know with each other. I'm carving my own reality. I will craft my own community of friends, approach people to get them into the community, also just approach women to get my own dates. Keep building everything up so eve…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 12:41 PM
1

Am I the only one that sees women have a very wide taste in what they even consider a type? Like my best friend, she only dates white guys but she's dated a variety of men within that group. Their looks can vary (right now she's caught on a guy she doesn't even think is that attractive but she's emotionally distraught over him). It applies for me too, there's a surprising amount of variance in the type of women I find attractive, sometimes it makes me laugh lol
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 12:12 PM
1

JUST being kind and emotionally available is boring to a lot of women. That's the honest truth. You can be a nice guy and get women by being a bit challenging, outgoing, funny and teasing them a lot lol that's really all it takes. If a guy is JUST nice, it is boring. And oftentimes it isn't authentic either, they're being nice because they want the woman to like them
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 11:30 AM
–

You're saying "likely" in those sentences. That's the issue. It's not a universal rule. If you want to say "I want to get heavily to make sure a woman with a. Promiscuous past is going to be a good partner" than that's a sound and fair take given the data we have. Also that isn't what you told the girl in your post. You're being scattershot right now. You told her that men would feel like a downgrade or "settled" for. How is that not purity culture? That has nothing to do with the social science…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 04:14 PM
–

That's what I'm learning from the women on here. I've been giving out my cards too early. Thank you for the input
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 03:44 PM
1

I would say that it's more, being able to partake in a casual sex heavily, correlates with certain traits that leads to a higher chance of being a cheater. Not that it psychologically alters a person to be a cheater. Although yes, partaking in casual sex probably does do some unconscious altering that could lead to that but it's not that concrete
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 03:43 PM
–

There's a world of difference between grinding, feeling up their asses and kissing them and going the full 9 yards. At least to me. I'm comfortable kissing, cuddling and some touching but past that I get a little uncomfortable unless I really know the person. Call it weird but that is how I've always worked
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 03:39 PM
–

You're being intellectually reductive. You put "debate" on this post, don't fall back on "hey it's my opinion man." Back up your claims. A preference would be "I just prefer women who are more sexually reserved." You're saying that you think women that sleep around aren't valuable partners. Defend that. Why do you think that? Really break that down. Rationalize and go as deep as you can. The answer stems, I bet you from the way you're speaking about, in purity culture. You think women are less v…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 03:37 PM
–

It's unhealthy because what you're doing is rooted in purity culture. The more a woman fucks around the less valuable she is or the more she makes for a worse partner because she's ran through, is settling for you, etc etc... And you telling her that is rude and she has every right to call it out. You care about it personally. To what extent I don't know but you gotta find a way to not put women down for sleeping around while maintaining your preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 02:43 PM
–

The downgrade part is the problem. Not wanting to date someone with an extensive sexual history is totally fine. But putting weird purity culture things in it isn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 02:28 PM
–

You both started somewhere understandable and then went off the deep end lol. Not wanting to date someone for their sexual history is totally fine but saying that it's because men don't want to feel like a downgrade is an unhealthy way of thinking. But her jumping to any man denying her for that reason as insecure or whatever is also goofy. Preferences are okay. As long as you're respectful about it. People reject people for the stupidest reasons, I don't know why promiscuity has so much bullshi…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 02:26 PM
–

That's the common thread here is I gotta make an attempt to actually get to know them before getting all handsy
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 02:02 PM
–

Gotcha. See I just can't do hookups with strangers like that so guess I'm approaching this wrong haha
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 02:02 PM
–

Literally was feeling up and kissing a girl last month lol nothing happened. You're chronically online that's the problem
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 12:37 PM
1

I don't agree with the social value thing actually. When you're at a party and you go around being the fun of the event, getting people talking to each other, telling stories to everyone, befriending all the women. To me right there, a woman can gauge your social value pretty clearly. I've used that tactic before
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 11:19 AM
–

This has literally NEVER happened to ANYONE I know and I've been in the pickup community going out with gamey and non gamey dudes since I was 21 lol
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 10:35 AM
–

The downvotes on my messages are so weird lol I'm literally just stating that I'm not like that, people be such haters. Either community areas or maybe even out and about during the day probably are more my style.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 10:34 AM
–

No, no this is fantastic stuff. You're basically championing really focusing on the seduction part of the initial meeting. Build a bunch of tension until she HAS to see me again. By focusing on trying to get as physical as possible so early on, I'm either doing what you're saying and just subtextually telling the girl I go around just doing this to anyone at this bar lol. Or just playing my cards too early, she feels almost satisfied to leave it at that after the night is over. All of your littl…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 10:32 AM
0

I'm fucked then homie lol. The women on here are saying if I want them to meet me up afterwards I can just try to have a more authentic connection. I just literally can't do a first night sleep, I'm not comfortable with it. I more want a FWB.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 03:56 AM
0

I'm just not a fuck on the first night kinda guy. I know I could just take it far and just vibe at her place or something but idk
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 03:52 AM
1

Gotta keep rolling the dice I suppose
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 03:47 AM
1

I’ll do a handstand and twerk on my head if I’m lit enough but never would I do that outside of the club setting 😂😂 Holy fuck this shit is hilarious thanks for the laugh LOL 😂 Yeah I guess the common thing I'm seeing is I gotta be less sexually aggressive, handsy and kissy. Just take my time, eye contact, conversation, flirting.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 03:39 AM
1

Yeah, I think I've been too handsy and like, in a rush to get physical because that's what pickup kinda shows you. Looking back on it, my last ex that shall not be named, we met at the club. But she was really looking for boyfriend so she set the pace for our interaction. We danced and stuff but she didn't let me kiss her and we basically just talked and danced for a good while, like 20 minutes. Which was enough for her to gauge that I was a confident, sweet guy who was willing to be patient and…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 03:28 AM
2

I was thinking that clubs with lounge areas would be a great idea. Can just ask to sit and chat with them, make it more organic and conversational.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 03:16 AM
1

Fair enough. You think those methods are fine for even a super casual FWB situation?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 03:15 AM
1

Well the problem is, bars and clubs just have a lot of volume of people. There's an illusion of "omg there are so many women here" type thing. I'm not taking her as just a fun experience, I'm deadass trying to meet them and get to know them lol
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 02:55 AM
3

Gotta go with the super IDC what happens vibes
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 02:48 AM
1

Fair lol figured I'd ask anyway
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 02:48 AM
1

I think that is maybe what's going on. I'm just a fun experience for the night
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 02:47 AM
2

I figured. I'm just not that kinda guy lol but yeah I think I agree with that
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 02:46 AM
2

I wanted to start a book club. I probably will once some life stuff gets sorted out. Yeah hmm. Guess just gotta keep at it I suppose. Eventually one will like me so much she'll want to see me again lol thanks for the input
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 02:26 AM
1

Thank you! It was a roller coaster of emotions, heart was shattered but we move on. I love reading, I'm a huge literature nerd. Although the clubs have been really poor for dating options specifically. It's still fun though. I had the same feeling about clubs/bars. I'm just not built for sex that casual. I get that's funny coming from the make out shit I'm saying but I'm comfortable with kissing I'm not comfortable with having sex with a girl I don't know. I would be more open to a casual FWB th…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 02:16 AM
5

Spreads misogynistic takes on women and awful advice for men, outside of basic general advice like hitting the gym or upping your career.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 01:43 AM
6

We'd have to agree that's what the redpill does and I don't agree. The redpill is deeply flawed ideologically even if it sometimes starts in the right place
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 01:06 AM
5

The red pill starts in a decent place and then goes to misogynistic bullshit not backed by any studies or statistics, or even just common sense. Work out, get in shape, fix your living situation, career, work on your charisma...these are very basic things that are useful broadly speaking. But then you get into the weird misogyny stuff like a woman needs to play her role, they're all sluts, etc... and it just gets weird. I've adopted no pill. Because the answer always lies in the middle of everyt…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 12:51 AM
2

I didn't downvote your reply lol I'm always open to discussion. The problem with America rn is people living in echo chambers, I actively look to discuss ideas with people I don't agree with. I'm just saying that in the context of this post, it still doesn't detract from the reality that women are in fact not as picky as the manosphere likes to say. I agree apps suck, absolutely no arguments there. Women agree too. That's part of the problem, that even in university, people have become so sensit…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 06:56 PM
3

That doesn't weaken my arguments here at all. Everything I said still holds true even with that in mind. What we can abstract from this is, a lack of social continuity post-high school or college is the problem. Where can you be around a lot of single women for extended periods where interactions organically happen post-uni? Religious men I know don't have a problem finding a solid friend group or girlfriend because of this. They go to church and volunteer places and naturally meet like minded s…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 05:27 PM
1

I think women will do what I said in my third paragraph for even average men depending on how much social value he's showing at festivities or how he fits her preferences. They'll be indirect. But getting approached outright nah barely happens unless you're just that hot lol
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 05:10 PM
14

It's funny to me that most of these red pill black pill rhetoric talking points can be disproven by being literate or just going outside lol
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 04:56 PM
6

Couple of things: Online dating is a biased group to study to begin with. When you give people stats, especially in the context of meeting a complete stranger, EVERYONE is going to be pickier. Men included. Why would I risk an awkward ass fuck date for a girl who's not that pretty? Women have it even worse because they have to worry about psychos. The amount of women on apps is dramatically lower than men on apps. This is not an accurate study to base reality on, not even taking into account tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 04:48 PM
11

I don't think there's an epidemic of women having inflated egos. What makes you say that?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 04:38 PM
1

So disclaimer - EVERYBODY has a different subjective experience We can't base reality off people's subjective experience. This is overly lazy critical thinking. The statistics on cheating from this source: https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america#:~:text=In%20general%2C%20men%20are%20more%20likely%20than,data%20from%20the%20recent%20General%20Social%20Survey(GSS).&text=By%20comparison%2C%20only%2017%%20of%20adults%20who,to%20their%20spouse%20are%20no%20l…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 04:29 PM
2

I largely agree with you but the context of this post is leading. Obviously, it's not going to be so black and white. If she asks me that tutu question I'm going to melt 🫠 and be super passionate about giving her my opinion and become invested. I was just saying that my wife is probably going to lead it at the end of the day, naturally. But that doesn't mean I won't do my hardest to make her happy and as put in as much effort as I can. There's some things I can show my son that his mother can't.…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 02:18 AM
1

I didn't mean I would NEVER step in lol. Let me reiterate. She will be my daughter, and I will take care of her, talk to her, be there for her, help out wherever I can, etc...but my wife will be much better at teaching her woman-specific stuff. How to dress well, period stuff, hair stuff. I have no fucking idea what I'm doing there. I'll treat both sexes the same in terms of love, but I know that my son will get very specific guidance and wisdom from me, specific to being born a male. I will imp…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 01:30 AM
8

That's what I was thinking lol. If they both work the same hours, it's not fair for one person to do all of that stuff. He can still lead sexually/romantically, I know I naturally have those setups for my relationships but I wouldn't let me wife do all the chores while I sit around and do nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 12:14 AM
6

I was in the pickup community for a while, so I can answer. (For reference, I was never fully on board with everything they say but I did like the ability to approach women and "control" the amount or quality of the women in my life. Had a lot of success in college ;) and some success at bars/clubs recently as I've gotten older but focused on other things right now). I think for women approaching, if you mean approaching me as in they do the pickup stuff... that is never EVER going to happen reg…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 11:56 PM
10

People oversimplify this concept. Each partner leads in different areas. No one is the SOLE leader of EVERYTHING. I won't be leading house decoration once I get married. I won't be leading raising a daughter. I won't be leading groceries if my wife is the better cook. The same is true vice versa. In that same vein, one can lead in terms of the emotional/sexual side of the relationship, and it does not compromise or have anything to do with a career. But if you both work and you get home and do t…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 10:27 PM
2

If a woman loves you and you care about her emotions, sexual pleasure, and safety, she will want to have more sex with you than most guys can handle. That's been true in all of the relationships I've had, like I'm exhausted LMAO, and she is still grabbing at me to have sex multiple times a day.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 06:06 PM
6

I used to be in the pickup community and these reactions are honestly really rare. Then again, when I was heavy into it, I was sociable even outside of women so it was never that bad, I often times just stayed and chatted for a bit. More recently, even really pretty women are nice about it during the day time. I'm not the best looking right now, I've gained some weight and stuff. At bars and clubs, they can be very mean LOL but that's just the nature of those environments. High value women aren'…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/25 12:54 PM
5

I think Religion is largely a bad thing. It causes homophobia, a distrust of science,, negates people's freedom of lifestyle for the fear of some metaphysical truth no one truly knows. However, it was a better answer to what we have now. Forcing people into being heavily social, heavily monogamous, etc... only benefits both parties. I agree with the hypergamy thing, people get to know each other on a spiritual level and look past a lot of the bullshit present in dating now. As a society, we need…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 04:33 PM
3

But right NOW for single people and the future of dating it is not that way. And that reality is starting to become apparent. I don't think we can claim this yet for the U.S at least or most countries outside of extreme cases like Japan. Most people still get married than not. My debate point in short We still see the remnants of a world where everybody got a relationship, but single people are struggling massively to get what their parents had, and there's a sense of entitlement because it's so…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 12:18 PM
1

Yeah for sure. Really the only men getting any of the benefits of the patriarchy are rich men anyway lol let the rest of us help each other in peace.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 05:54 PM
1

Okay, sorry for the delay. > your argument is women have at all, so men should have it all No, we will forever be different in some aspects. But we can do our best to integrate the best parts of both sides into our lives. I don't think women have it all, they just have a different set of issues that they have done a much better job at fixing over the years. Copy and pasting your paragraphs will clutter this up so I'll just go with debating each point: I agree that women largely don't pursue STEM…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 05:38 PM
2

I agree, I don't want to cuddle up with my guy friends LOL. We can largely do better though. Conversely, women still largely don't pursue the STEM fields but they've still largely managed to work in a lot of good stuff into their lives. We don't have to be cuddling LMFAO but words of affection, men not being afraid to saying I love you, taking each other out to dinner, etc. It can all be done.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 05:23 PM
1

I agree but it doesn't have to be that way. Men need to be better friends to each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 05:12 PM
3

Similar hobbies is whatever. IDC if a girl likes the same stuff I do. Something fundamental here is that, you can relate to people in a much deeper level than just opinions or tastes they have. We've all been sad, happy, have memories of younger days, all living the human condition. I can talk to women about emotional stuff for hours and never run out of things to say. The subject matter doesn't matter much, there's a deeper human element. The political/religious values is far more serious. Thos…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 03:11 AM
1

Maybe you are just someone who doesn't like casual relationships too which is totally fine. This is true lol. My male friends used to make fun of me for not wanting to sleep with women that quickly, or rejecting women that made it super easy. I'm quite sociosexually restricted. It's hard to be that way as a man when every guy is telling you to go out and sleep around. In my college days, I would date a lot of women (I was aware of the pickup community so approaching women on campus gave me a stu…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 03:03 AM
1

Before I answer everything I want a clarifying question. Do you think if you had the equivalent of the parameters of college (lots of people around the same age, forced to be around each other all week, clubs, mutual social continuity with all being students, most looking for romance or adventure of some sort) do you think all of your assertions on women would stand?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 04:09 PM
1

I'll answer when I get home this deserves a detailed response
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 03:30 PM
2

Why do you talk like a Tiktok 14 year old girl? Why do I want to engage with an overly emotional man who jumps straight into insults? Moreover, your assertions on the energies is actually what stories and philosophy has warned AGAINST for thousands of years. Everyone is a balance of both energies. People lean on one or the other but everyone is both. Men that push down their feminine energy end up being aggressive, controlling, selfish, etc. Women that push down masculine energy end up being neu…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 02:09 PM
-1

So yeah, I think both men and women can have a tendency to shrug off great prospective partners for objectively silly reasons. But I swear to god if I hear “women only want 6/6/6” again I’m gonna McLose It 🥴🥴🥴 Very true lol and mclose it I love it. The 6/6/6 thing doesn't even make sense, how do average penises or average height people even exist if they're ruthlessly filtered by evolution lol
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 01:59 PM
1

You're such a man, jumping to insults immediately before asking me anything 🙄 aren't men supposed to be emotionally controlling and completely fueled by logic? Yet you jump to calling me gay and a girl. You're a pathetic pussy lol
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 01:51 PM
1

This doesn't change the parameters of my argument though. Obesity being a choice doesn't weaken the strength of this comparison. Not being a self-absorbed douche bag is also a choice. A large part of woman's complaints with men isn't looks it's character, which is all "a choice" as well. But the standards women tend to set looks wise are not changeable factors (height), so men only have despair, no way to improve that. To debate this, I would consider causality first. If you are short it means, …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 01:42 PM
1

Thanks for sharing such a detailed response. Isn't what you're saying about casual sex informed in the literature? Women have a lot of trouble orgasming with strangers and largely report having a more satisfying sex life with a partner. That certainly makes sense. Women love sex but the amount of men that can partake in casual sex with women and also be mindful of her pleasure is very low. A boyfriend is going to be more adaptive to women's pleasure. That first part about the science about why w…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 11:59 AM
1

Truth men on here refuse to admit
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 11:55 AM
2

Agreed with everything you said.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 11:54 AM
2

But I think you're still viewing this from a male lens. Those dildo people aren't OPTIONS. One of the women on here put it best but like men that use, abuse, don't care about you, are perverted, etc aren't OPTIONS. A great way to frame it is, if we opened up our pool to obese women (nothing wrong with bigger girls but using it as an example because of this sub) it would dramatically raise our chances of getting laid by like 4 times. But are they really OPTIONS for most men? Even if they're willi…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 11:46 AM
1

I agree that a woman has every right to see other people if I make it clear it's exclusive. I also agree communication and respecting the women regardless would be ideal. This is the trail of logic here: If I don't want to take her seriously for X reasons, she gets lumped into casual territory. If she's in casual territory, chances are she's seeing other men. 3.This triggers a primordial disdain for other men being with the women I'm dating so I end up just being cold and icy towards her I also …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 11:27 AM
2

Thank you for the message. I agree with what your diagnosis. Men being biologically inclined to be more "thing" oriented explains why a lot of men aren't naturally socialble and in tune emotionally. We are told a lot of our worth comes from our financial assets. We are victims of patriarchy as well. However, I would argue that women have largely achieved what I'm advocating men to do. Women for the longest time couldn't work and grind a career. They couldn't do the very stuff men have been told …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 11:10 AM
5

Dark triad traits has nothing to do with isolation. Think of it this way. There's a correlation between men who sleep around and dark triad traits for a reason. As men, im sure you know the men in your life growing up that have slept around a lot. What are the chances they're doing it healthily, with a lot of communication and care for the other person's feelings? Actually , im sure you know what level of inner delusion and manipulation it would take to really sleep around like that. Absolutely …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 10:57 AM
1

This whole post on here and all the ladies answering is going against this take. They don't care that random dudes want to use her a human flesh light in the way us as men have trouble wrapping our heads around.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 10:53 AM
3

Agreed
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 10:51 AM
1

I agree and am striving to be that way in my personal life. But... It's just hard to be respectful of a woman I'm seeing casually when I know she's seeing other men. It's almost a feeling that's primordial. I just get the ick and no longer want to take her seriously or even be nice to her. And if I know all of that information, she can never become a girlfriend because to me it's just over. (Ladies let it be known, it is hard to move from "fuck toy" to girlfriend material in a guy's mind). And i…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 04:15 AM
57

I think you're interpreting the study wrong. It doesn't use the word misogyny once. Obviously a guy who understands women enough to fuck a lot of them is going to be obsessed with women. The study even admits that just because men don't come of implicitly sexist doesn't mean they can't be. Maybe I'm reading this wrong but yeah. Moreover, we cannot assume that men’s absence of implicit sexism (vis-a`-vis evaluation) signals that they are more egalitarian than women. For example, compared with wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 04:11 AM
1

I'm trying to come in good faith so sorry if it seems like I'm not listening. I'm just really trying to emphasize the power of having close friends but it seems like you do. On the bright side you literally have more than most men I know lol that I have tried to help. You are at an advantage. Do you have any confident male friends that go out to bars/clubs?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 03:06 AM
1

I changed it to sad in my edit but fair. As for the rest of it, yes it's normal to want a relationship. To get married. To get kids. Absolutely you should want those things. But i think you're vastly underestimating the power of having people around you that care about you regardless of what you have going on in your life. Wouldn't it be nice to feel so close to someone who doesn't care about your lack of women? Who thinks you're amazing regardless? Who cares about you, even knowing everything a…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 02:57 AM
1

Women are a lot more happy single than we are. Even in terms of the studies. Why do you think that is?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 02:52 AM
1

Than that's on you and you need to figure out why the lack of a romantic relationship makes you that sad. Picking up women will be a lot easier if you're not coming from that angle too. Be happy outside of romantic relationships. Make friends with women. And it'll all become easier
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 02:42 AM
3

Dawg it's just true lol. I've held this opinion for a long time. Ask the men around you "do you have any guy friends you can be emotionally vulnerable with and discuss feelings with" they're either going to Say that's gay as fuck Say no Say they don't want that from men That's horrible and we need to change it. You shouldn't feel miserable and alone with just male friends around you, you shouldn't need women to do the emotional lifting. Latio culture has drilled those 3 points into my head and I…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 02:25 AM
2

Wow thanks for the huge response! Love the passion. , I've never had trouble making friends as an adult Great to hear! Because mostly, for a scene to exist someone has to be willing to put some work in. Absolutely. I recently found a group where one guy actually owns a house and throws all of these events, invites people over constantly. I bring people into the group, we socialize, etc... But most of it was fairly informal. I'd post online that I'd just picked up a flat of strawberries, and woul…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 02:18 AM
0

Makes sense. Thanks for sharing. I was wondering about this. Why is it a lot of women have such bad experiences with casual sex (on average. My take, as a man, is that a lot of men end up filing women into "girlfriend" material and "fuck toy" material. A lot of men end up not respecting or caring about their casual partners. If even on a subconscious level. I think if men made a large effort to be more caring to women they're casually sleeping around... more communicative, less judgemental, etc.…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 02:12 AM
1

Lol all goofers. Thanks for sharing.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 12:47 AM
0

Makes sense, you sound like the average woman I've known throughout my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 12:45 AM
1

100 percent
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 12:43 AM
1

I don't agree with you as a man myself. I'm Latino okay, I get the whole machismo, I don't want to seem gay shit lol. But we gotta change this. I think a group of loyal men that are vocal about how much they care about you, take you to dinner, check in on how you are feeling....is something we need to start doing. Women are much better at this. Just having boys you have fun with or whatever is not the same as feeling emotionally close to them. Most of my guy friends think this shit is gay or are…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 12:43 AM
1

What are the examples of clangers lol
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 12:03 AM
3

I mean yes I agree, I think men need to largely change this aspect of our lives
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 10:30 PM
1

The second and last paragraph I don't have much to say but thanks for sharing anyway! Hopefully someone that meets all your criteria comes eventually! The whole "zero, nothing, nada," seems exaggerated at least, and also applied pretty broadly. Hell, there are plenty of men on this forum who are married to women. From what I've seen of men describing their own experiences, I'd guess there are a small number of men who are actively trying to date and having no success, and a larger number of men …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 09:46 PM
0

If you make that much and your requirement is 50-75 than wtf are the guys on here complaining about lol that's based
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 08:50 PM
1

That's totally reasonable. Without playing "us vs them" because I know men have dumb requirements. I think some women end up writing off great partners that aren't quite there yet financially but have a plan or sometimes some women even require 6 figures. Which is goofy. One of my friends makes 135,000 a year and pretty much every guy she dates makes less. Her requirement is just that he's doing something you know
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 08:21 PM
2

If you look through my post history, I largely agree with you. I've been railed on for saying the exact same thing as you and I'm a man lol. I do want to ask though guy to have a decent career What constitutes a decent career?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 07:46 PM
6

I ask out women let's go 😤
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 07:38 PM
1

True!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 07:37 PM
3

Fair enough sorry, I misinterpreted what you meant lol. I still would say most women in my life don't do stuff like that though. Like so many of the girls I grew up with and were close with married their second or third boyfriend. Which lines up with the average
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 07:29 PM
3

Not backed up by the data at all. In general, between 4-10 is considered to be an average number of sexual partners for adult men and women. Source : https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/speaking-in-tongues/202307/how-many-total-lifetime-partners-are-too-many If you want anecdotal evidence, nearly every woman in my life's idea of promiscuity is trying out a one night stand once or twice, having a FWB, or it's a guy they're trying to pin down. Even then it's not with many people, this idea tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 07:20 PM
1

Well like in my life right now I'm grinding my job and fitness because I'm deeply behind. But I literally only have like one viable option in a social group I'm in and I'm not attracted to her at all lol
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 07:07 PM
0

Absolutely agreed
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 07:06 PM
6

The women around me can concede to what you're saying. A boyfriend is going to care about your emotions, sexual gratification and "spirit." Much more on average than random men
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 07:06 PM
4

As pointed out in my source, it isn't most women. In fact, it isn't most PEOPLE. The average partner count is like 6 or 7 lifetime. I concede that promiscuous women have it the best in the dating market by FAR. But my post is pointing out the reality that it isn't most women.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 07:04 PM
1

Even just a phone call works though. Throughout the week. Having plans set with friends. Keeping up with them, willing to see them for even 2 hours for something. Most people work 9-5's Monday through Friday, you can fit in seeing friends there. It doesn't have to been crazy
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 07:03 PM
15

We largely suck at it. And anytime I bring this up the men on here just say men and women are different. In that men are incapable of being affectionate and caring about someones emotions over anything else lol. I am not this way and am very affectionate with all my friends male or female. But largely, men make pretty bad friends imo or they don't focus on friendships nearly as much as other stuff like money or the gym, because they think it doesn't have as much value to women as those things
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 07:01 PM
8

Oh for sure. All of my lady friends that didn't land a boyfriend in college or something are struggling just like the men are lol they get lit up with messages but it's not guy that wants to cultivate an authentic connection
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 06:11 PM
17

Thats what I was defending the other day as well. Women are a lot better at feeling fulfilled spiritually outside of a relationship because of friendships, family, etc... Absolutely.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 06:10 PM
1

You're going to get hate for the redpill but in reality, most of these guys wouldn't want their daughters dating complete unfriendly, self-absorbed redpill assholes. There's absolutely more to attraction than just looks. Women often times select less for looks for a long term relationship. If you want a shallow relationship, the qualifications will be shallow. Men rated physical attractiveness, health, and sexual desirability significantly higher than women did. These traits are often associated…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 02:14 PM
13

Well strong support groups means they actually have close friends than can be emotionally intimate with in a way men don't, therapy, tons of social opportunities. Women complain about men yes but that doesn't change that in terms of this studies findings, they are happier single than we are.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 06:33 PM
8

Then like what is the point lol. There's always a percentage of liars or copers, but like? what is even the point of this post if you admit its that small of a pool of women
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 06:08 PM
12

Well first off, whats your defense for this study? It actively is showing that women are indeed happier single than we are on average. Any counter evidence that ain't purely fluffy anecdotal stuff? I agree that waiting and not being proactive at some point becomes a poor strategy but that wasn't the point of your post.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 05:52 PM
14

Not true in terms of the studies done on this Source: https://www.artsci.utoronto.ca/news/new-study-finds-single-women-are-happier-single-men Overall, the researchers found that women fared better flying solo than men. They are happier with their single status, the quality of their lives, the quality of their sex lives and they desire a partner less. "Quality of their sex lives" doesn't mean they're fucking random dudes a lot it just means they're either engaging in more casual encounters or mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 05:41 PM
1

For sure it's individualistic. I think for me though, sociosexual incompatibility has caused some tensions in my relationships. They get up after sex like nothing has happened, where as I treat it as a purely emotional thing. They want it to be far more hedonistic in nature, want me to choke them, tie them up, just.....do stuff I am not comfortable with. Again, that is individualistic though, I just think most men are so socially inept that they can't just get to a know a woman to figure out her…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 03:09 PM
1

Because she's right that most men that say they don't have any luck put in NO effort (even to looks max if you want to go there, men don't style, groom or fix their physiques before complaining a lot). They don't have a sample size to scientifically claim that cold approaching doesn't work. If men spent time learning to be social with strangers, you would see that it's a spectrum of reactions you get, regardless if it's with women or not. I've had guys be rude to me, I've had beautiful women be …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 02:40 PM
1

You're absolutely right about this. That's my biggest annoyance with a lot of men on this sub, they don't even try except on apps and then complain non-stop.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 02:33 PM
2

I think men's ideas of HOW attractive you have to be for it to work is where I find the most disagreement. I think most men can reach a level of looking clean, well-put together, decently in shape (low body fat, not even muscly) and well styled in terms of clothes and haircut. Just look safe, welcoming and decently high value. After that it's how you carry the conversation forward.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 02:27 PM
2

I agree largely, I had a post about it on here. It's a hack that once you figure out how to do, will put you ahead of most men.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 02:24 PM
3

The promiscuous men in my life are generally misogynistic, narcissistic, etc. The studies about sociosexually unrestricted people maps on great to most of the men like that in my personal life and I've been around fuck boys my whole life. I think your diagnosis is wrong though. I think the fatal flaw for women is that they love confidence, which a narcissist guy is going to bring more than most men. They end up falling for the confidence, sexual/romantic aura and generally, the promiscuous men a…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 12:55 PM
1

Either subtle traumas (sometimes outright traumas) or the inability to contextualize what a good partner even is, on her end and the guys end. Having relationships in of themselves isn't a problem. That's a positive in my book, if she's been mainly boyfriend focused. She can figure out what makes a great long term partner and how to be a great girlfriend. It mainly depends on how much casual relationships they partook in, just how sociosexually unrestricted her past is and how selective she was …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 12:37 PM
1

I agree. I tend to get along with women more anyway. I think as long as I get introduced to her close guy friends, I wouldn't care overall what she does with her social life. A partner having their own social life is healthy. I will say though, if she's been with him sexually, I would absolutely not be comfortable with but if the girl I'm dating is honest about everything I could probably look past it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 12:23 PM
2

There's absolutely a difference, I don't get people that say there isn't. Anyone that says that hasn't actually tried bettering themselves in person compared to online. Even the men in my life into pickup that kill it on apps admit that in person you can land much prettier and quality women.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 12:16 PM
–

I find this to be true. Women either have a type or get so bought into a guy's vibe that they rationalize thinking that guy is attractive. There are shallow women of course, but even in studies it is shown that women select less for sheer physical attractiveness when it comes to choosing a boyfriend. Which to me suggests that proximity bias or just digging a guy's vibe makes them attractive. For women with types, generally they can go up and down how attractive the men are within that archetype.…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 12:10 PM
1

Well, there's just a huge disconnect because the men that get a lot of women in my life, even outside of men I've met in pickup, are very bold, persistent, and presumptuous when they talk to women at bars/clubs. Every guy I've met that isn't those things just stands around and barely talks to anyone because no one goes up to them. And when they do, they're aimless or never get anything solid. It's just true that the men that are proactive and go for a lot of women intentionally get a lot of wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 01:08 AM
1

I mean, I'm not going to tell the girls that lol. Serendipity is also an underlying tenet. Pick up draws from the sales world with terms and stuff, they also use the concept of momentum at bars. Either way, it was nice chatting, I get the ultimate point of what you mean!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 12:35 AM
0

> When other side is trying to emotionally guilt trip into staying in such relationship... who is being the manipulative one? I mean it would be her yeah. But again that isn't the point of OP's post > Yes I can fall in love with someone before sticking my dick into them or even kissing them. All my legit relationships started with one or both sides falling in love before exchanging bodily fluids. Intimate doesn't mean having sex. I mean, just, you two haven't even been ROMANTIC yet. Even if the …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 12:29 AM
24

What kind of start? Women being able to vote and work is nothing but a good thing. Define the type of feminism this is talking about because I would HOPE that we all agree with 2nd wave feminism at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 11:58 PM
5

If you're that into someone you haven't even been intimate with you got to get out there more. Men don't want to hear that but I've been the one in love with the one girl that has been nice to me and it's on me. If the girl isn't respecting my feelings, than it is on me to have a higher standard. But women in my experience rarely do that intentionally.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 10:37 PM
1

> I sure as hell did met women which lead on men into the friendzone, because guess what, women can be cruel bitches. Just like I met met which lead on women into situationships. Then that isn't a friend. A friend is someone who wouldn't do this. Have a standard, plus, if you're that into someone who you haven't even kissed or been intimate with, that says a lot about you, even if the other person is being inconsiderate. The context of this post is a man willingly choosing to hang with a woman a…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 10:35 PM
-1

Men that complain about the "friendzone" are pathetic lol so this checks out. Befriending pretty women and hanging around them can only help you. Not only are women based friends but you learn a lot about women by...hanging around women. So yes I agree for sure, they become friends with the background reason of trying to get with her instead of it being genuine.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 09:15 PM
–

I'm a guy lol maybe I worded that oddly. Dating apps suck though for his exact reason yes, you can't go off anything else
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 08:54 PM
–

I would say it heavily correlates with mental pleasure, I for sure get a lot more aroused and passionate with a woman with a huge ass. There's a lot more to sex than just the physical act of a penis going into a vagina. Most guys don't eat girls out, care about their pleasure, know where the clit is. That's why women reportedly much prefer sex in long term relationships. My reading is it's because the men bother to learn the way their bodies tick. Unless the women are already sociosexually unres…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 08:11 PM
2

I agree that it isn't the norm lol. That's actually what got me out of the red pill, it was hanging out with a bunch of women and realizing none of them were like this. Even their flings were juvenile attempts at catching one of those hot and fun guys. However, they do exist. Someone else commented this as well but I've known women to have done more wild stuff then even most guys I've known. Sugar daddy stuff, group sex, sleeping with a lot of men within a short time period. I knew a girl who wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 05:24 PM
7

Because that's overly simplistic way to look at it. If on a survey you were asked "do you prefer a fat juicy ass or a flat board of an ass" (I'm being crude to be funny but you get me) 10/10 men would say they would want a fat ass. But that's not how we select partners. We aren't machines looking to compute a man's worth "okay he has a 7 inch dick, he makes exactly above 6 figures, etc..." You get attached to the person with the dick. You get a connection and that person's attraction goes up, fl…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 01:20 PM
2

Well even in other comments I admit that 80 percent of the women with extensive pasts I've met have been a little off their rocker. But: That holds true for most men like this too That doesn't mean you can't work with a woman who does have some issues but clicks all other boxes. Human connection is multifaceted. That doesn't mean she couldn't just have engaged healthily with her sexuality. I have some lady friends that have gotten around and are still sweet as can be. It's individualistic
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 01:13 PM
1

I agree, I guess I would implore men to learn the skillset. But fair overall, I get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 01:07 PM
1

Yes, I do go out just to talk and have fun but it ends up being more strategic than that. In the pick-up community, one of the key tenets is called "getting into state." Which is basically, talking to a lot of people to just get into a heavily social mood where you have a ton of momentum. Once you reach that state, that is when you can do very bold social stuff and just not care. I've gone up to like a group of 8 women while I'm state and they've invited me to get pizza lol. So yes, I'm not comp…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 01:06 PM
4

I agree but I'll propose this. >It's a matter of sociosexual compatibility. I think wanting a woman who mostly has sex within committed relationships or just with people she has a bond with is a perfectly fine standard. These are sociosexually restricted people, which I fall under. When I have been intimate with sociosexually unrestricted women, there's a deep disconnect with intimacy and sex. A person who is fine having sex with complete strangers constantly, drug filled orgies, group sex, etc,…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 07:14 PM
1

Yep agreed. With one woman I dated, she was r*ped and THEN went on a huge spree of promiscuity. I was not worried about not what she had done from a purity angle but that she was going to be unstable because of everything, and I was correct with that assertion. She was clearly neurotic before sleeping around because of what happened to her, poor thing. She had no idea what a good guy was, she had been treated so poorly constantly.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 07:03 PM
8

It's absolutely made up lol most people don't sleep around like that much less do crazy shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 06:58 PM
6

It's a matter of sociosexual compatibility. I think wanting a woman who mostly has sex within committed relationships or just with people she has a bond with is a perfectly fine standard. When I have been intimate with sociosexually unrestricted women, there's a deep disconnect with intimacy and sex. A person who is fine having sex with complete strangers constantly, group sex, etc, is going to have a different outlook on that stuff than sexually restricted people. But on that note, men are figh…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 06:57 PM
3

I like how I got down voted for saying that observation about why men correlate things the way I do but i was just explaining why I think a lot of men hold those beliefs 😭 I wasn't saying it's right. It's been my experience as well, where I want to say like 80 percent of the women that have extensive pasts have been coocoo but I realized with time and reading up on the topic that they were already crazy before embarking on their sexual journeys. So now I treat it like a "yellow" flag, I figure o…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 06:45 PM
8

Yep, thats my reading too. But that's what I'm telling OP, that you have to take people as individuals and figure out what's going on but the way they typed out their post it's rooted in women inherently being less worthy as partner because of their pasts which I don't agree with.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 06:41 PM
1

From a purely anecdotal male perspective, I think the common thread is the women with an extensive sexual past just correlate with being a "crazy." For a more sciency term, just come with higher levels of neuroticism and subtle traumas. Every guy I know has experienced the same thing. That's not to say you should assume EVERY woman is like that. I've met women that have had a lot of fun and currently make great loyal girlfriends. But I think men run into those neurotic women and just think it's …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 06:35 PM
13

No one is going to disagree with you here. If a woman's past has deeply affected her psychologically and it seems like too much to handle, then don't date her. But there are women who can have a lot of sex and be great long-term partners. That's the key distinction here, you're correlating a past with not being able to be a good partner, no matter who it is. It's still individualistic at heart. I've been on the other side you're talking about where I'm the first nice guy a woman has dated and wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 06:27 PM
42

I agree the notion that writing someone off for their past is completely fine. People write each other off for very shallow reasons, very good reasons. It doesn't matter. The issue is your opinion right now is rooted in purity culture. Vetting someone for their past is a smart thing to do. You gotta figure out what's going on, if she's moved past it, if she's been hurt by men, etc. It's a just assessing her character and her ability to be a great long-term partner. But that sort of pragmatic ang…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 05:33 PM
1

Agreed. I mean I've had a girlfriend who was conventionally really attractive (girl born and raised in Paris) who got loads of attention from all sorts of men all the time. She thought I was out of HER league because I was the first man to have that deep emotional, spiritual connection with her. She was so I'm love with me that I had similar reactions like "how does a girl this beautiful obsess over me." But it's exactly what you're saying, she's attracted to ME, even if she has been with hotter…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 04:37 PM
0

You're just not engaging with me at all dude lol I'm telling you information, you ignore it and craft your own narrative about me. How am I a BAD person lol you don't even know me. How do you have any sort of meaningful discussion?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 04:34 PM
1

A biological propensity towards something can explain behaviors on a broad levels but we're individual conscious beings capable of change. And I'm advocating for men to take the same steps towards changes that women have
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 04:30 PM
1

Dude you're crafting you own narrative around me lol. I JUST told you they're not related I've made male friends through college, friends, cars, concerts, out and about randomly. I WAS in the pick-up community. I'm not anymore but I think they're interesting to study because they bother to categorize and come up with strategies that no one else would bother to come up with. I still use some of their concepts now when going out to talk to women. I just couldn't deal with the misogyny in it but I …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 04:26 PM
0

This is the key to understanding where the weirdo men are coming from. They avoid the human aspect of relationships. Would I want ideally in an objective world, to have a huge butt, curve, big lipped hot babe? I mean if asked on a survey absolutely. But that isn't how relationships work. I grow to love the flaws on my ex girlfriends because I loved them. To me they were the most beautiful things in the world flaws and all because I loved them. Are they Broadway models or pornstars, no but she's …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 04:18 PM
1

Bet you those same guys are on here saying how women suck and have high standards
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 04:00 PM
1

They're not related lol. I've befriended men in a variety of locations and situations
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 03:59 PM
-1

That wasn't my point at all lol. My solution is men becoming more in tune with feminine energy, caring about one another intimately etc
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 03:57 PM
2

Makes sense. Good on you for not giving those kinds of guys the time of day!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 03:34 PM
2

I also want to add that women report being MUCH Happier single. Partly because they have more emotionally fulfilling relationships outside of romantic partner in a way men don't https://www.artsci.utoronto.ca/news/new-study-finds-single-women-are-happier-single-men
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 03:08 PM
0

Absolutely true it's so frustrating
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 02:59 PM
1

I believe the stat is 15 percent of men report having no close friends so most of them do have at least someone to talk to. Thirty years ago, a majority of men (55 percent) reported having at least six close friends. Today, that number has been cut in half. Slightly more than one in four (27 percent) men have six or more close friends today. Fifteen percent of men have no close friendships at all, a fivefold increase since 1990. https://www.americansurveycenter.org/why-mens-social-circles-are-sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 02:59 PM
1

To the men in here arguing that men do make good friends on average answering this. If men were SUCH amazing friends, would men be consistently reporting high levels of isolation and loneliness.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 02:50 PM
-3

The problem with these topics is that they're far more "spiritual" in nature than concrete and data-driven. People don't want to admit that but it's tough to pin this stuff down. For example, we can see studies that suggest that men have a harder time forgiving infedility during marriage when it comes to couples therapy. However, the reason "why" is unclear because human consciousness is abstract to begin with. You could state 3 different reasons why it might be the case and be correct in interp…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 02:47 PM
1

I agree with all of your assertions here. One could also argue that men may have a congenital, fundamental tendency to act competitively and confidently around other men, as that's their intersexual competition. Men instinctively know that other males are fully capable of threatening their accumulated resources, assets, and relationships. That's why I also firmly believe that men are territorial predominately by nature, rather than nurture. This is part of the problem and why I don't think this …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 02:45 PM
-3

That's what I said but let me ask you. If men were SUCH amazing friends, would men be consistently reporting high levels of isolation and loneliness.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 02:40 PM
1

I mean regardless, I don't think the average woman is pro-war. I don't want to get political, but that's just a goofy observation lol
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 02:38 PM
-1

What is going on is I am affirming the observations that women have made for years now about men. I'm not insulting men, I'm pointing out observations. what's the difference between this and a thread that 'argues' that women are masculine, promiscuous, obese, can't cook yet want men to provide etc. The difference is, everything you pointed out there is rooted in sexism. The things that women are pointing out about men are purely in terms of character aside me saying men don't care about beauty a…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 02:37 PM
1

Just read this fucking thread lol. I've had people tell me women want us to die in war, women's versions of friendships is annoying each other for attention. I've had men say women that sleep around are worthless, women should be ready wives. You name it
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 02:18 PM
1

Women are overwhelmingly left leaning, they do what they CAN to stop it. You think women are shaming their husbands not going to war, your entire worldview is fabricated off red pill rhetoric lol
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 02:16 PM
-4

You need help if that is what you draw from authentic human connections.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 02:13 PM
1

So women are socially retarded? Come on lol. Getting conned into a bad relationship doesn't mean they're retarded. It's hard to tell the difference sometimes especially if they haven't lived the male experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 02:12 PM
6

Probably lol. It's crazy because women have largely excelled at being in tune with feminine energy. They care about their friends, are empathetic, are socialized very well, can process emotional stuff much really well. But now, they have integrated more masculine aspects into their lives. They can get on their grindset, make a lot of money, grind a career. Yet they keep the other stuff as well. For the longest time men haven't had to work on being in tune with feminine energy and it'll only HELP…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 02:10 PM
0

I would say it would really help a lot of men that are depressed as fuck yes
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 02:03 PM
1

Can you elaborate on your stance here? You saying even if the women complain about the potential partners available to them it doesn't matter because they're going to date them anyway?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 02:02 PM
5

Women will gleefully send their husbands and sons to die in war, while claiming to be anti war, will claim that they want equality without wanting the responsibility, will they that they want the same jobs and being paid as much while carefully avoiding anything remotely physical or dirty. Listen to what you're saying. Really think about this. It's exactly what I'm talking about in my post, you really think women GLEEFULLY send men to die in wars?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 01:59 PM
1

It's really bad in America lol
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 01:57 PM
1

Nah I have great men in my life it's just coming from experience. Also, idk yo, my ex's biggest issue was in France there were a lot of this exact kind of men. I was the first guy she dates that cared about her as deeply as I did. I broke up with her for unrelated reasons
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 01:54 PM
1

Elaborate
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 01:43 PM
2

That's not what I said, I made specific observations about men and tried to connect it to back up the complaints women largely have about male as potential partners. I think they're on the money with a lot of their observations
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 01:40 PM
3

You're such a man, so in control of your emotions 😁 you have red pill on your name, aren't women supposed to be the emotional ones? You're pathetic my guy
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 01:39 PM
3

Based
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 01:37 PM
1

I have a good set of guy friends now. I've also have been far more social than most people on this sub (I've been in the pickup community, done crazy socially daring stuff, made a ton of friends, lots of events I've been invited to). A majority of the men I've tried to befriend have been all of the above. I got amazing ones now that care about me deeply
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 01:35 PM
1

I just think women have a hard time telling the difference between confidence and narcissism. That's what's going on and we should show empathy to women in those situations
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 01:29 PM
2

Then you’re an outlier and you prefer the company of women I was answering this specifically
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 01:28 PM
1

Disagree, I feel loved and appreciated more with my female friends and select male friends. But to each their own
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 01:27 PM
3

This just ain't true man lol think about it evolutionarily. If you treated people like shit, you would be exiled from the tribe or clubbed to death.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 01:26 PM
2

Most women want a man well over six feet Just step outside dawg lol women out here dating whatever kind of dudes. Go to a mall and observe couples. This just ain't true and women will say as much as we still won't believe them. It helps you with shallow women on apps or something but it isn't how most women work
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 01:25 PM
1

I think women are farther ahead than us. They've spent their lives working on femininity in a way men haven't. And now, they can turn on more masculine energy, get on their career grindset, get their bag. But they keep the other stuff as well. Men are behind in this way
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 01:22 PM
0

I suppose not
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 01:21 PM
1

We (me and my group of friend) supported him to go to therapy ; we made sure he was not feeling alone ; we made sure he would come to parties/activities with us ; we listened to his struggles ; we helped him get back to college to get his degree and become a teacher like he wanted to be ... We did everything we could. So...you did what I was saying at the beginning. You made sure he knew you guys loved him and were there for him and were going to help. Absolutely amazing! But men often times wil…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 01:18 PM
2

No I just prefer the company of people that actually give a fuck about my emotional well-being. It just happens it correlates with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 01:16 PM
3

My thing is it's a non-issue for the average male. The average male is within 4-6 inches. Being 2-3 or under is way out of the norm and God speed to them, sure. But a large portion of men complaining about this fall within the average.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 01:14 PM
1

Hey another approacher let's go! Treating people like crap is what most women consider confident you don't even need to think that deeply to see how this is ridiculous. Why would a woman want a shitty, angry, unsocialized husband to be around her kids? It's not a good survival strategy. What is happening, is that women love confidence but have a hard time realizing the difference between narcissistic behavior and true confidence that comes from a good internal place. If the woman could have the …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 01:12 PM
2

You realize there are subreddits where every type of person complains. White people complain about dating, skinny people, short people. The more important part is that women give us data and we flat out just don't believe them which is not going to help anyone. The average dick size is 5 inches. That has worked for a millennium of time and women say they don't care that much overall
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 01:05 PM
1

But at that point, should we believe anything men say? Even in circles where we're trying to get to the bottom of things, women say largely that men think about other men's dicks more than they do. You have to extend that out and say a lot of the main things men ask for or think about women is also altered truths or lies. Do you hold that standard?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 01:01 PM
2

There are men on here arguing with me that men CAN'T be that way. Which is a fucked way to view things
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 12:59 PM
1

This is the biggest problem with men today. If you have a friend who's deeply depressed, no amount of "constructive" answers is going to help. That person just needs to feel loved. Men can be that way absolutely, they just refuse to explore that side of themselves in the name of not being a pussy/gay or something. I've been friends with a ton of guys that's like half the reason usually
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 12:57 PM
0

I'm a guy who has had a lot of guy friends and has approached more women in real life (I was in the pickup community) than most people on this sub lol. I don't agree with anything you've said
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 12:55 PM
2

I'm not a woman lol
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 12:52 PM
1

I dated a girl from Paris, idk lol she personally didn't care about that stuff or she wouldn't have dated me
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 12:52 PM
1

Having a nice personality isn't going to make his penis bigger either This is what I mean. Women consistently say they don't care about this stuff nearly as much as we do. Are we just not supposed to believe them? Vaginas and dicks come in all shapes in sizes, I've heard women say huge dicks literally hurt them. This is the kind of stuff I'm talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 12:51 PM
0

I am tired of dealing with emotionally stunted men too lol
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 12:47 PM
0

Affirming a delusional, emotional friend even when you know they are wrong is not helping them, it's NOT being a good friend. That wasnt the situation I talked about though. When someone is heartbroken, often times the ONLY way to help is to remind them they are loved and can rely on you for emotional support. I agree of a guy is complaining about not being able to find a job or something, it's best to approach that with a strategic plan. However, largely there are parts of existence that can on…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 12:45 PM
5

It's been men close to me or men I've hung out with too, don't get it twisted. I've had a rich social life, there's a reason I have so few male friends now
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 12:42 PM
0

What country are you from if you don't mind asking? Might be a cultural difference. I don't think men's beauty is purely generic, you can do a lot as a man to care about your beauty. Style, dressing high value and getting a clean cut helps a lot already but there's more you can do as well. For the misogyny, I'm not saying they're in total misogynistic, I'm saying they have views that are.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 12:41 PM
-1

In my experience, women want to help people immediately. They have lots of empathy, and that's a wonderful thing. They want to feed hungry people and soothe pain. This is what being a friend IS my guy. That is what being a good partner IS. Jumping straight to solutions won't help when a topic is purely emotional in nature. There is a time and place for solutions, but when I break up with a girl and am sad, I just want my friend to be there with me to remind me of the connections I have, soothe m…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 12:36 PM
2

I got you! Men got to help each other. I similarly come from not having much money but you can look sharp on a budget. Look up Teaching Men's Fashion on YouTube. He's a great resource on the basics of styling yourself and he has specific videos of shopping on a budget
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 12:33 PM
3

I don't think they're intentionally dating misogynistic, narcissistic men. You think women want that?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 12:32 PM
-4

This is not true in my case at all, they're the only ones that bother to check in on your mental health, care to plan cute little events, go out to brunch, do fun events together.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 12:30 PM
0

Absolutely, men like this are uncaring over the other person's feelings and it says a lot about them. They lead girls on because they want sex but don't care about the emotional responsibility that comes with that
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 12:29 PM
3

You answering this way immediately shows you immature you are and are contributing to my thesis, so thank you lol. Isn't part of being a reasonable, emotional and intelligent man being able to debate ideas without resorting to insults and pre-assumption? I'm neither. I'm a guy who's had a rich social life and am not getting older, realizing and contextualizing my relationships are realizing a lot of the men in my life are like you
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 12:27 PM
2

Being a man myself, I honestly just think it's true for a lot of them. I have men in my life right now that aren't this way, they rock! They exist but largely, most men I run into are people I don't want to be friends with, let alone imagine being a good partner for my female friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 12:22 PM
-7

Even as just friends, women have been far better and caring for me than most men would ever be. They call, text, check in, plan outings.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 12:17 PM
2

Any man in this comment section being dystopian about the Internet being reality, women being shallow, in person not being any different, etc needs a reality check. Something interesting about the pickup community is that they bother to research into things that most of of society won't do. Any pickup guy I know that does well on apps ABSOLUTELY admits that they can pull more quality (personality AND looks) from in person. Sharing your "stats" online like a Pokemon is not normal, and it isn't a …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 11:59 AM
1

Objectively untrue lol
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 11:51 AM
1

(unless you're just super smooth with game and can pull them that way) This is at the core of what OP is getting at. In psychology, there is a thing called the "Halo effect" that makes people go up in perceived value with enough proximity, perceived social value and liking someone's personality. It is absolutely true that online apps don't equate to what is possible with using personality in real life. I've landed dates with women I KNOW would have never swiped right on me on an app. The key mar…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 11:46 AM
1

This is all going to be just stuff I've heard from the LGBT community, and this is coming from a straight guy, so take it as you will. But one of the things I hear a lot is that the level of clear communication with intent, boundaries, and such is so far ahead of cis-straight peeps. Even the bi-women I've dated have been VERY clear with what they want, intentions, goals with the relationship, and whether they even WANT to go on dates in the first place in a way a lot of straight women don't both…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 02:15 AM
1

I think this is a big disconnect between the sexes, because this flat out just doesn't work for most men. I agree being generally sociable is ideal, that is the point of my point 2. However, unless you have specific parameters set up (you're the lead singer in a band touring, you teach a yoga class, etc), generally most men don't have a constant influx of new women coming into their lives that they could initiate an organic relationship with. If we followed this advice, most men would be fated t…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 10:25 PM
–

The post is about not getting women at ALL. Hate to break it to you but apps are statistically terrible. It's over 70-80 percent men on Tinder specifically, depending on the source. Women also consistently report being dissatisfied with Tinder. Perhaps the other apps do better within a reasonable margin but most likely not by much. If they work so well, we wouldn't even be having this discussion, men would all be either hooking up with women or in relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 07:03 PM
1

Charisma is generally correlated with being a good conversationalist right? Charismatic people are outgoing, socially daring, have a knack for navigating and controlling conversations. They easily befriend strangers. Great storytellers. Enthralling to talk to basically. Spiritually, I don't mean it in the sense that most people mean it. I'm using it to mean having a deep understanding of all of the emotional parts of existing as a human. Metaphysics, psychology, philosophy, human connection. Par…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 10:37 PM
3

I guess my impression was the topic for our discussion was about men without college degrees holding a conversation with you and being well-rounded as individuals. By well-rounded, I took that to mean having a wide pool of knowledge and having a general ability to think critically. If it's just being informed about politics...idk lol. End of the day I get what you mean!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 09:08 PM
3

I mean, I'm a history nerd and a literature nerd. Hamlet is my favorite story, I have self-studied metaphysics, psychology, etc. You kind of HAVE to to understand some of these complex old works of fiction lol. I have friends that are literal scientists that I have fun debates with. I'm not a college graduate (YET 😤). I'm 29, I read a lot on my own free time. I keep up with the news (I'm Latino I literally have to right now 😬). I try to source and layer my arguments. Getting obsessed with Englis…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 07:57 PM
3

I mean what are the subjects? Are you discussing metaphysics? Astrophysics? Or just talking about your college experience? Business? What does it mean that they can't hold a conversation with you? I get it's your experience but you can't think of one person who didn't go to college who could hold a stimulating conversation? I'm calling 🧢 on that lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 07:37 PM
6

Idk, I think people are seeing how often times a degree doesn't correlate with being a well-rounded person able to craft opinions that are sourced and clearly crafted with deep, critical thinking. Plenty of the most evil, biased, simple minded and intellectually dishonest people are college graduates...some even with a masters (Dont want to get political but use your imagination). Being a master at one subject doesn't make you well-rounded. I have a friend that majored in a STEM degree and is a …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 07:27 PM
7

In my experience, women care less about the actual amount you make and just if you have a plan. A lot of girls I've dated have made more than me, or graduated college when I haven't yet (working on it). But as long as you got a plan and you fit her criteria everywhere else (looks, vibe, sexual chemistry, social chemistry) I think most women are down to invest in your potential.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 07:20 PM
-2

I was with you until the job part, you can't expect every man to have a crazy job like that. As long as he's workable and willing to split rent than that should be the requirement. I largely agree though. I made a post the other day saying men need to work more deeply to be spiritually more whole, in tune with themselves and others. Work on their beauty as much as women do. Men suck on average. They're terrible friends, don't know how to style, boring conversationalists. If a girlfriend gets bor…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 04:41 PM
5

The problem with online media is that it can paint your reality lol I noticed something was odd with red pill people saying every woman is whore when 95 percent of the women around me weren't like that at all. Even the really attractive ones. However, one thing that I think is kinda true is that the avenues from which most men engage with women nowadays (apps and clubs) are going to have more of the outliers be more common. Which distorts reality. But if we go to a grocery store and ask everyone…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 04:06 AM
7

This is something people often don't consider. People that sleep around that much are out of the norm statistically speaking
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 03:54 AM
1

I grew up naturally introverted but I guess I had the buff of growing up latino and being forced into social situations since I was a child. But I think anyone can learn to be social enough to form groups and shoot shots around campus. Cold approach is what I did yeah. Girls just chilling doing nothing on campus is literally a recipe for instant dates. I think your first paragraph is true but idk, I don't think most men want an Instagram baddie or something. They just want a cute sweet girlfrien…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 05:51 PM
1

> You don't care you just want sex: This notion comes from men playing women to get sex in the first place, which in reality is very common. Stereotyping all men to be this way is misleading for sure. I think both parties generally want relationships, and that tracks if you look at average partner count lifetime. > Women aren't attracted to most men: I do not agree most men are well groomed, exercise and takes care of themselves mentally and physically. It's the reason older men generally correl…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 05:47 PM
0

This is just ridiculous thinking, my guy. Most people eventually want a long-term partner; that has been the same everywhere. Even in Japan, men are miserable because they LACK connection and stability with friends and a lover.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 05:06 PM
2

I mean, tbh those creepy rejections are very rare if you're doing it properly. Like, during the day time (what the The pickup community calls talking to women in grocery stores, parks, malls, daytime events, college campuses although I'm too old for that last one lol) ive approached a lot of them and they're usually very polite. It's absolutely rare something crazy happens. At bars/clubs I'll grant you women can be ruthless because they're on alcohol and are getting harassed all night by men. I'…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 02:09 PM
1

Dude I literally made my own friend group recently from scratch, it's possible. You're just commenting random bullshit instead of engaging with my ideas lol
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 02:01 PM
1

Well you keep commenting on various posts of mine so you seem convinced in your world view. You already assume a lot of stuff about me too. I can assure you: Have had pleasant conversations with strangers Have gotten dates from chatting up women and asking them out in various locations (I cited here that my last date was one I met at a park) Men refuse to put the blame on them being awkward sloppily presented fucks, instead they make broad claims on society or women in a way that is gets rid of …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 01:56 PM
1

Uh, shooting my shot with women in various locations is the only way I've been able to land dates so lol
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 01:51 PM
1

Well yes no one is going to disagree with you there, but it's still doable. Making friends is 1000 x easier than dating so.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 01:49 PM
0

I mean, that's kinda my point of step 2. You're life needs to be spiritually fulfilling outside of pursuing women. You need to feel loved outside of romantic relationships. Considering men consistently report not having many best friends, this is far more important. Wanting women in of itself isn't a bad thing, it's a natural part of masculinity and finding a forever partner an important part of human existence. So I wouldn't write it off either.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 01:48 PM
2

I don't think either of those things are true. All trh guys I know who fuck a lot of girls stay at bars approaching women.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 03:13 AM
1

Trust me it will take care of itself eventually. I'm open to DM's if you want!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 01:27 AM
1

I mean that is much easier than getting dates. Plenty of avenues to do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 01:27 AM
1

You are worth something for merely existing. Don't worry about women until you're surrounded by people that love you
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 01:15 AM
1

AND I hear you. Don't worry. I would say focus on step 1 and 2 for a while then. You need to find people that love you for who you are and surround yourself with them. Do what you can within your control for looks. But focus on not calling yourself ugly and feeling loved regardless of women and everything should come more natural.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 12:49 AM
2

I'm sorry to say but if they're reacting this bad, you're doing something wrong. Most people shouldn't react that way in general. Well to be fair, bars and clubs women are more likely to be rude but that's because they're drunk/been annoyed by guys all night. But out and about at a grocery store, or something people are generally really nice. At bars and clubs you gotta adapt "I will approach until one likes me" mentality whereas with less alcoholic filled environments most people will be polite…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 12:33 AM
1

Have you actually approached women? I think if we get rid of the online lingo and just say strike up a conversation with a woman out and about, most of them ARE nice. Other men on here have commented about this and there are lovely women even on this post saying a polite approach could be appreciated depending on the woman. I wrote this in another comment answering about confronting this idea. I think reverse engineering the idea is a good place to start. First off, people, regardless of gender,…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 12:20 AM
1

I agree women in public are usually very nice lol it always surprises me even now
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 12:04 AM
2

That to me is insane lol. You want strangers to just not interact ever outside of designated social areas? At least you're consistent but to me that isn't how a society should work.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 11:57 PM
2

Yeah I think Latino's and Black men have this on lock in a way a lot of other groups of people don't. And funnily enough, both groups are very social regardless of it being specific to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 11:55 PM
3

You're ignoring my question. Is it weird to talk to someone with that context (iron maiden shirt) at one of these environments. No it isn't a bar or meetup. But should we tell strangers not to talk to each other at all?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 11:54 PM
3

EXACTLY lol I've had hilarious interactions. Where she's just laughing at me even doing it in the first place or something absurd is going on. I remember one that I started talking to her and then her parents showed up and we all were just cracking up
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 11:50 PM
2

Just chilling looking around a Target, grocery store or book store. Or walking around a park. I think people think it's specifically weird when this is aimed at women but when you look at the grander scope, what is really wrong with talking to a stranger?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 11:48 PM
1

I think reverse engineering the idea is a good place to start. First off, people, regardless of gender, are very awkward and rarely get approached politely in public, especially nowadays. But we've all experienced a really outgoing, positive vibe exuding person sparking up conversations with us out and about. I've had men be really awkward when I give them compliments. So this is a human thing not specifically for women. Secondly, as funny as this is to realize, awkwardness isn't a crime. Some a…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 11:46 PM
2

Would you say the same if you saw a man with a Iron Maiden shirt and you went up and said something about the shirt? And you got into a conversation about metal, it spiraled into a long chat. Is that weird? That's technically a cold approach as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 11:32 PM
1

One is pointless to engage with because it boils down to you believing me. I suppose for the other 2 I can see what you mean I just think what I'm suggesting would work better long term for the men that can't even land dates to begin with. But I get what you mean! Thanks for the comments.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 10:37 PM
1

Again, I think it still applies. I've met people I could have married out and about cold approaching, I just needed to grow into a more mature version of myself. Ultimately, I get what you mean, I just think you only increase your chances of finding that special someone by learning all of this
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 10:32 PM
1

Well there's a miscommunication going on because I was aimining at men currently single in the modern dating market. IDK how old you are but things are really different now lol. Social events, like what? How did you know about these?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 09:57 PM
3

That is why I was adamant about point 2. They can't engage with women if they're thinking that way. They have to become emotionally in tune with themselves and love socializing regardless of dating. I agree with you most men are idiots when it comes to this for sure. But that's why I'm blaming them in this post and not women. I think its our fault and there's so much more we could do. > They refuse to compete with men in social venues, and really hate the atmosphere of crowded social spaces. I g…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 09:56 PM
1

I meant single men, maybe I couldve been more specific. How did you meet the women?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 09:53 PM
1

Fair, I guess that in being forced into being that way, there is an advantage in just being more socially savvy than the average man. Long term it has its benefits. Even if being forced into it can be annoying haha
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 09:52 PM
2

I apologize; I think responding to so many comments had me not give your comment the proper attention. Let me respond to your first comment again properly. I agree with point 1. That is the point of MY point 2 actually so no debate there. After that, I disagree with your point 2. I don't think the context really matters for really getting along with a person, or women in general. Socializing is funny that way, there are plenty of people I've spent months with at a job that I want nothing to do w…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 09:51 PM
0

Read more books, start small. It takes work but I think anyone can learn to do it. Women on average are much better at it then men for a reason, they're forced into being that way since birth.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 09:24 PM
1

Dating apps are fucking trash yo lol. I think telling people to get on apps is far worse than telling them to learn to be sociable and make a lot of friends. I also don't agree cold approaching can't lead to a serious relationship, all of my girlfriends have been through cold approaching to some degree.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 09:19 PM
2

That's why pount numero dos emphasizing BECOMING sociable. Learn to love people and socializing. That part takes WORK and it's why most men won't do it. I grew up fat, nerdy and awkward as fuck. I learned how to be social with time and effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 09:17 PM
2

Okay at this point you're not even engaging with what I'm saying lol you're talking to yourself
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 09:15 PM
4

Yeah, that's why I'm emphasizing having empathy when approaching. A lot of men are fucking socially unaware dumbassess you know. Like see the subtle cues that she's not interested and put her safety first.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 09:13 PM
0

Yep, I know mid dudes that have fucked that many too. I was in the pickup community lol
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 09:11 PM
4

Well, I asked you a direct question, and this was your response: 100 women? If I wanted to go to jail I could just rob a store and be done with it. Sounds like too much of a timewaste. So what am I supposed to conclude? I'm not attacking anyone's virginities lol I'm going off what you're saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 09:07 PM
2

Navigating the social complexities of asking a woman out is a lot for men, especially if they have to see the girl over and over again. Which is why I am advocating for step 2, just becoming a sociable person. Because you wont be as awkward about it if everytime you continue to see her on campus, you just say hi and have small chat you know, and she sees that you're just friendly. Yep, plenty of pretty girls around me have never been asked out in person aside from drunk guys at bars. We gotta ta…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 09:00 PM
5

I mean, chances are itll happen eventually, you just wont care about the result if you have a fulfilling social life in place as much you know.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 08:58 PM
1

Okay, so you're admitting that you've never actually approached a good sample size of women. Where is your take coming from then? There's nothing to discuss if you're just behind your computer complaining and not actually trying to go out and talk to women, we're just fighting ghosts at that point. The point is to do the best you can with what you got man. Most women have accepted that and try their best regardless. A well presented male in decent shape is going to fare a lot better than what mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 08:57 PM
1

Yep. That's why step 2 is the most important part. You have to become an empathetic, caring human being. I had gamey, kinda slimy guy friends for a while and they would just fuck anything that moves, without a care in the world. It was odd, and they were horrible friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 08:44 PM
1

Well kinda? So here was one I did at the store the other day. "Hey sorry to bother you, I just thought you looked really cute today and I wanted to say hi" She said thank you and we chatted about random stuff, you know normal conversation. I then told her I wanted to take her out for a cup of coffee or something and she politely declined because she had a boyfriend. In essence, I told her the frame of the conversation early on (I am talking to you because I'm a guy and I think you're attractive)…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 08:39 PM
1

It's chronically online men just caught in a echo chamber of other men unwilling to look inwards and blame themselves for their issues. They don't want to put in the work. If they take steps 1 and 2, even one of the women they befriend might want a relationship and that would be organic you know? Like you can't skip working on yourself physically and especially spiritually.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 08:35 PM
1

I think you can get a decent sample of someone's vibe within 5-15 minutes. It applies to friends too. You ever meet someone at a party and you feel like you've known them forever? Human connection is very odd!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 08:34 PM
3

See when men say this stuff I always have two questions: have you actually tried to cold approach? what is your sample data? have you asked out 100 women? Have you seen an "ugly" dude have a decent sample size you don't think we can up our looks with style/grooming to a significant degree? What the fuck do you think women do everyday? you ever hang with a girl right as the morning starts lol they don't look super cute all day either they get ready for the day and style correctly.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 08:32 PM
3

YEP. My biggest upgrade was learning how to dress and grooming/style stuff. It makes a world of difference and most men don't take advantage.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 08:26 PM
6

You know, most women in my life are begging for guys to approach them politely lol. They are right that a lot of guys are greasy, awkward fucks, but that's why I'm saying to do step 1 and 2 first.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 08:26 PM
1

I mean going on a date is getting to know each other right? It's just with the framing that there is a romantic intention behind it but most dates I've been on is 90 percent just vibing out and the last 10 percent doing my thangy thang. I wouldn't view it that differently than befriending a stranger and trying to get them to hang with you at a bar the following weekend you know. As friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 08:25 PM
1

lets goooo lol
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 08:22 PM
7

You won't need as thick a skin if you have people in your life that give you meaning. That's part of why I mentioned step 2. Befriend women, they can help you learn to just be chill around women. You'll notice eventually they're just people and you'll be satisfied with your life regardless of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 08:22 PM
3

Yeah, thats part of why I said I have much more success at bars just out with my friends. I'm not on hound mode you know
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 08:21 PM
5

You got this bro! That's a good mindset to have! Get your health and friendships on lock first.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 08:20 PM
1

That's what i'm saying! I've been friends with a lot of women and they love people and hanging just to spend time together. You all are so far ahead of us in this regard. Not to mention caring about your beauty in ways men don't do.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 08:20 PM
3

what a great response :)
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 08:18 PM
1

There's a good chance the same women consistently going to bars and willing to go back with you that quickly are the same women on dating apps. They're the same pool of women. Also mind you, to be fair to you, I'm not painting women as angels either lol. Some women have the vetting and self-preservation skills of deers. It has happened to me too, where I'm like "you barely know me why are you letting me come over lol." But my point was that that's not the average woman. A lot of women hate apps …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 05:33 PM
1

That doesn't refute my point. Going on a date with a stranger is inherently risky so they would rather the risk/reward be worth it. I.E the guy they're meeting from an app clicks all their requirements (good looking, good job, etc).
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 05:18 PM
1

I think an important factor here is that people need to start categorizing socializing as the same level of importance as the gym, their job or whatever. I'm an introvert too but I don't let that stop me from going out and practicing expressing myself, connecting with people and approaching women. The truth is, it takes just as much time and effort as the gym, but it is abstract and less concrete to work on.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 05:16 PM
1

Random dudes do scary stuff so they are more down to risk potential safety/creep stuff with a guy that is attractive from the outset.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 05:11 PM
1

Because they have the advantage on an inherently shallow medium ( dating apps). You have to work harder at it if you're not super attractive
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 05:10 PM
2

it raises chances and you will learn how to be social, or at least there's a high chance you will learn how to be social. Introducing yourself to new people, learning how to connect with people, etc is going to help you no matter what. You can apply those skills to different avenues and even approaching women, meeting friends of friends, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 05:08 PM
1

Well my point is that you are going to naturally be a lot more charming and social if you're forced into it compared to a lot of people nowadays. That's it. I worked on being social (I was also in the pick-up community for a while, I left it because it was weird af) and I learned how to properly ask women out. It's just much harder to practice socializing if you have no one to practice ON! I have a social group for the first time in years now (covid kinda fucked everything up) and I can feel ful…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 05:05 PM
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