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Technical-Minute2140 Archive

View 0 posts and 489 comments by Technical-Minute2140 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

How do you develop that sexual energy?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 07:15 PM
6

Exactly. I don’t want to be the pogo stick, I think promiscuity is bad for both genders. I want to be able to be that pogo stick though. I want to be attractive enough to enough women to where I could be the pogo stick if I wanted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 07:13 PM
19

Maybe. Will husband material guy get the same raw desire hookup material guy gets, tho? Because that’s also important to men. We want the women we’re with to want us the way we desire them. This is kinda why men tend to get upset if we’re labeled husband material and not hookup material, or not both. Makes us feel like the backup, safe option that she wouldn’t have had fun with years ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 07:04 PM
–

I have thought about this. The person does matter. I couldn’t just date anyone so I can say I finally got a girlfriend and experienced love, I do have to genuinely like the woman. I also yearn to be a good boyfriend and do all the good boyfriend things and to be called sweet. I miss being called sweet by girls after I did something special for them. Like, yes, the goal is marriage and kids - but the marriage part of that is a partnership and I want the right partner, not just any partner. But al…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 06:55 PM
10

While I agree, I don’t think OP meant to ascribe a moral value to that statement. Just that, in a nature setting, the superior man is the one that is able to procreate often. There’s no moral quantification there, just objective reality (in terms of the prime directive of life)
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 06:52 PM
–

You’re asking a different question now, before you asked about me personally, but I’ll bite. In reality, most women are going to want relationships. I don’t see that changing, y’all are human just like us and it’s a basic human desire. Me personally, if women here don’t like me, I plan to save up and go to a country where they might. Can’t change the women (and shouldn’t) so I’ll change the scene. If women here don’t want the men, then I’d let the men do the same thing - go somewhere the women m…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 04:41 PM
–

By not fucking raping someone, obviously. Jesus. You’re also boiling it down to sex like that’s all we want. Guys want loving relationships too, you know. I want to experience what love is like more than sex. It’s a bit hypocritical of me to say, but I genuinely think being online in these kinds of debates is poisoning your mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 04:05 PM
–

Sure you’re not projecting? This might blow your mind, but not all of us men are evil. Crazy, right? Also, fuck you for putting such gross words in my mouth, you lunatic.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 03:35 PM
–

Never got any straight answers besides “you’re ugly bro” which, yeah, I know. I’m anxious and awkward tho, which combined with ugly makes an unholy trinity that repels women.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 03:18 PM
–

Fuck that. I want a woman who actually likes me
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 03:17 PM
–

Maybe. I want the relationship more than sex. I want to experience what love is like. Sex sounds like too much pressure, especially if she’s more experienced than I am, which at my age is most women.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 03:17 PM
–

That’s not quite what I’m talking about. Empathy and kindness make you a good person, but in my experience they alone do not make a man attractive to women. My hypothetical classes would go deeper than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 02:57 PM
–

Well again - I guess so. I’d love to find out exactly how hard and if I can stick to these principles, except I’m not getting the chance.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 02:55 PM
–

I guess so. Doesn’t change the fact that this is how I feel and I do yearn, and I mean truly yearn, to be a good boyfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 02:00 PM
–

A lot of us would, I’m sure of it. I yearn to be a good boyfriend and do all the classic good boyfriend stuff, including the stuff girls say guys don’t do. Women don’t like me tho, so I can’t be a good boyfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 06:47 AM
–

I swear this is just an example of how men and women are biologically different. It’s just more important for us than for y’all, full stop, and you aren’t getting that.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 06:44 AM
–

Whatever they do, I hope it helps me get a girlfriend. I don’t care about anything else frankly.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 06:42 AM
–

If that’s how you feel. I’m single and can’t get a date though, so to me it’s an issue because I’m personally affected by it and other men I know are affected by it. It’s what I want, and I won’t be satisfied until I get to experience love just once like normal people get to. I won’t care about society until I do either, frankly, because problems with society are at fault just as much as my personal problems. I won’t care about your problems either, by extension, or anybody else’s here. Yes, obv…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 06:05 AM
2

They assume were bad people. Cmon now, I know you’ve probably seen it on this sub too. It’s usually the first or second thing out of someone’s mouth when we describe being unable to find a date - “have you tried being a good person? Have you tried liking and not hating women? Have you tried showering?”
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 10:11 PM
4

a lot of people treat us like we are because we can’t get a date, though. See it all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 09:57 PM
1

A lot of men are in the wrong marriage then because they don’t get love or the hot sex
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 11:33 AM
32

I don’t want to enslaved women, what the fuck? But I do want a girlfriend and I am lonely. Wanting a girlfriend isn’t weird. It’s like the most normal thing a man can want besides food and water.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 04:14 AM
1

Because they’re indicative of irl opinions? Because they’re still morally reprehensible and a good, sane person should dislike that? Because I’m bald(ing) and they’re talking negatively about something I’m, essentially, afflicted with? Take your pick, all are good answers. I bet you hate when people talk bad about women online, yeah?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 02:27 AM
3

I was just using that as an example of some women not liking bald guys or mocking us for it. I dislike saying it “impacts” me because that’s too much, but it definitely irks me because it’s body shaming over something we can’t control, which is morally reprehensible, and as bad as any body shaming for anyone is.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 02:04 AM
2

Some of y’all do, which as a bald I appreciate. A lot don’t, and we get made fun of constantly by women online.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 01:56 AM
5

We’ve had to die horribly in every war ever, y’all have to look pretty. Life’s not fair, you don’t have to dwell on it constantly.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 01:37 AM
15

Ugly men never had it as good as you’re implying. Men have had to conform to beauty standards too, and we go bald, y’all don’t. Life isn’t an oppression competition, so stop making it one.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 01:30 AM
4

We can agree there’s too many bad men, at least. But y’all talk all the time about having to vet men and trying to find red flags yet have countless stories about bad experiences with men. That, to me, signals that y’all just choose bad men. I think you guys are attracted to traits that bad men are more likely to have, frankly. It’s fair in circumstances like yours where you’re deceived, and as horrible as that is, isn’t that also a fault in y’all too for not vetting thoroughly, despite constant…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 10:37 PM
4

Doesn’t that just mean they always pick bad men? Genuine question, this isn’t a gotcha or anything, I’m seriously asking - if they’ve only had bad experiences with men, to me, that means they haven’t been picking good men. I can fully understand joining that kind of movement if you’ve had those bad experiences, but shouldn’t we be honest about it too and say part of it is their choice in men?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 07:37 PM
7

I’m 24. I’m a virgin. Not religious, I’m just bad with girls, I’m ugly, and I’m awkward.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/25 09:25 AM
3

Incredibly privileged. The idea of reciprocation is too much? The effort is too much? You’re a pillow princess. Exact kind of woman most men want to avoid
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 10:00 PM
2

That doesn’t mean we don’t like when y’all escalate. We want to feel wanted and desired too, ya know.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/25 10:00 PM
2

How do you do the “escalate sexually without being awkward” bit? Asking for a friend
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/25 10:00 PM
–

Yes, but you’re lying if you try saying women don’t want the man to earn more. The majority of them do.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 07:16 AM
1

For me it’s partly sex, I’d kill to be a guy that women want to have sex with, I’m a virgin who hasn’t had a girlfriend before. But more than sex, I want to know what love is like. How it feels when a woman loves me as much as I love her. I want female validation, because I’ve never experienced it, and I bet it feels good being a guy who is capable of attracting women.
/r/MensRights24/06/25 05:10 AM
3

Exactly. This is also why it’s never a good idea to open up to your partner. You don’t know if she’ll see you as weak and lose respect / attraction, even if she says she wouldn’t.
/r/MensRights24/06/25 05:08 AM
2

At my lowest point I spent 2k on onlyfans without realizing it. The tactics they use are incredibly predatory for sad, lonely men. I’ve since deleted my account and gone into therapy. It just felt nice pretending that a girl was interested in me and liked enough to show me her body.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 11:05 AM
1

I would fucking love it if a girl liked me enough to send me nudes unprompted. I’ve never been sent nudes by a girl before, none have ever liked me enough
/r/MensRights21/06/25 10:27 AM
3

She’s a woman, she’s going to be biased in favor of women and against men in this area, just how it is. I don’t listen to their takes about this. My step father was falsely accused by his ex wife while they were going through a divorce so she could keep their kid. Stuff like that happens in reality regardless of what, likely propagandized, “studies” say.
/r/MensRights15/06/25 07:27 PM
1

Yes and no. We aren’t conditioned to want it like you seem to suggest. We want external validation so much because most of us never fucking get it from anyone. At most we get that from family, which can’t be taken seriously because from family it’s just platitudes. That’s a big difference between men and women. Women get external validation from everybody. Men don’t get any. It’s why we remember the few compliments we ever receive.
/r/MensRights15/06/25 12:59 PM
2

I fully believe that if you cheated and that destroyed your marriage, and the couple has kids, the cheater should be disqualified from full custody, no ifs ands or buts. You also shouldn’t be entitled to alimony if you cheat, shouldn’t be able to keep the house, should be fined by the government for breaking a marriage vow, and in general there should be consequences for it. Sometimes we have to police morality in certain ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 09:30 PM
1

I think trying to make everything in society fair and equitable is a good thing, frankly
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 06:27 PM
9

Great, so I can do good with girls that had their fun in their 20s while I’ve been spending mine trying to keep a shotgun barre out of my mouth? Fuck that
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 05:25 PM
2

It’s unfair, for one thing. You wouldn’t want to be a bottom tier man, you’d kill yourself over the loss of privilege, frankly.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 05:23 PM
–

I don’t like that because idk how to fix my dating issues, evidently, or I wouldn’t be a low value guy that can’t get a girlfriend
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 03:22 PM
10

Yes and no. I’d wager most of my money that it’s far more women wanting the man to outearn them than those that don’t care. I’d make that wager without even thinking about it. Women with your mind view exist, yeah, you’re an example of that. Your mindset is a minority among y’all tho, relatively speaking
/r/MensRights05/06/25 12:25 PM
8

They want all the benefits of equality and none of the downsides. They’re still privileged, but they were even more so in a lot of ways that they adamantly refuse to give up.
/r/MensRights05/06/25 12:24 PM
1

Because overall I lean more blue. Call it hope if you want to lol but others have described me as a very dark blue
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 06:44 PM
1

Appreciate the sentiment. That’s a lot to think about. I’m just kinda sick of waiting, you know? I’ve wanted a girlfriend since I was 14 and ten years later I still have t had one. I’m missing out. Most of the girls my age are gonna be so much more experienced than me and that’ll just add to the pressure
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 09:33 PM
3

I mean, yeah. Rejection sucks, and there’s a non-zero chance something bad can happen to me besides the rejection, like a jealous boyfriend or overprotective friend (or the admittedly rare unfounded creep accusation) so I wouldn’t try to hit on a woman unless I expected it to work
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 08:42 PM
2

Oh don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t saying my virginity is why girls don’t like me (although a significant amount of them wouldn’t like me for this alone) just that it’s a consequence of girls not liking me. And yeah, I don’t want every woman to want me, just one. But I haven’t found one that does and it fucks with my head.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 08:37 PM
3

My job isn’t that good and I’m not good looking enough for that. And girls just don’t like me. If they did, I wouldn’t be a virgin right now
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 04:51 PM
5

There aren’t a lot of virgin girls my age compared to virgin guys lol, but besides that, how would I even find one? And then find one that actually likes me? If girls liked me, I wouldn’t be a virgin that’s never had a girlfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 04:50 PM
3

And it also isn’t actually her, either. It’s her boyfriend, or some guy in India she pays to do this. Or, what we’ll see in increasing numbers, it’s an AI talking to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 05:56 AM
47

And that catch 22 gets worse the older we get. I’m 24. If a miracle happens and I start dating a girl my age, chances are that she has far more experience than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 05:35 AM
10

Eh. It doesn’t come naturally for all of us, not everyone can be so lucky
/r/MensRights02/06/25 10:28 PM
3

Exactly. I want to be her first choice, the guy she actually wants. But most of them don’t like most of us, so the chances of me getting something genuine like this are slim. It’s a cold, cruel fucking world.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 04:13 AM
5

So you want princess treatment. That’s an ick.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 04:10 AM
7

You’re assuming an awful lot about me. You understand not every lonely man is a vile sexist incel right? You also understand a lot of vile sexist men actually do really well with women, right? This is all just world fallacy, reality isn’t black and white like this. Fuck off for assuming I’m evil. I don’t hate women, fyi.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 04:04 AM
5

I don’t necessarily want it, but I do want to know what it’s like to be the guy that can sleep around, who women are attracted to. I want to know that confidence, that validation, that satisfaction. In reality, I’ll be happy with one fucking woman that likes me as much as I like her. Just one, God. One fucking woman. Please.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 03:47 AM
60

Reverse the genders. A woman cheats, gives her boyfriend a lifelong STD. Just as shitty a situation. The boyfriend punches her (very poorly). He still goes to jail, loses his job, and is lambasted socially and ostracized (deservingly). Why is it wrong when the man does it and not when you do it? It’s the same. What you did is also wrong and is also domestic abuse, “excuse” or not. Doesn’t matter what your female PO said, she’s a woman, so like you, she won’t recognize that hitting your man is ju…
/r/MensRights29/05/25 05:29 AM
1

Hasn’t for me, hasn’t for a lot of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/25 05:23 AM
0

Sorry but that doesn’t work. Talk and feelings doesn’t fix a problem
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/25 04:22 AM
5

Or another case of a slimy, harpy of a woman falsely accusing a successful man. That happens, too.
/r/MensRights29/05/25 03:47 AM
1

I think therapy just doesn’t work for the way most men are biologically wired. No actionable, concrete solutions - just talk and feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/25 03:08 AM
70

Yep. The sad truth is that most feminists actually want men locked in our traditional gender norms, even if they aren’t consciously aware that they want that.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/05/25 07:17 AM
51

Wait, really? That’s crazy
/r/MensRights26/05/25 10:26 AM
6

No we would, because that would be a rare moment where your words and your actions line up 1:1.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/25 03:07 AM
22

A lot of y’all don’t actually know what you really want. What you respond to isn’t what you think you’d respond to. It’s the whole “watch what they do not what they say” thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/25 07:47 PM
1

They might think they want that, but they don’t. It’s a lot of guys lived experience that their women lose respect and attraction for them the second they open up and aren’t strong all the time. Y’all say you want one thing but actually want another thing a lot of the time, imo.
/r/MensRights25/05/25 01:27 PM
1

The emotional part might be more important than the sexual part, for me personally. I want to do all the good boyfriend stuff. Sex sounds like too much pressure tbh. Opening up tho I will never do with a woman. The majority don’t actually like it. They expect us to be their therapists but don’t return the favor whatsoever.
/r/MensRights24/05/25 09:32 AM
9

For starters, it takes more than that these days to get a girlfriend. Besides that, I don’t think the “squeeze” being mentioned is related to the things you described, that’s not the squeeze they’re talking about. It’s everything else about dating women as a man that isn’t worth it - the approaching and putting yourself out there, the listening to her complaints without being allowed to offer solutions, the unenthusiastic sex, having to be the one to plan and drive for everything, the expectatio…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 09:17 AM
1

I want a girlfriend. It isn’t bad to want that. It’s the most normal thing a healthy normal man can want besides food and water.
/r/MensRights23/05/25 08:45 AM
1

I have a lot of friends. I’m still lonely romantically because I’ve never had a girlfriend. I think on a biological and on an evo psych level, relationships and sex are inherently more important to men than women. This feels fairly obvious to me, especially the sex part. This also explains why men don’t need their friends while in a relationship the way women need theirs - because men and women are very different, actually. I will say tho that blaming this on men having high standards is really …
/r/MensRights23/05/25 08:44 AM
12

Well society is a two way street. I’m not saying it’s women’s fault, but they also have a responsibility to help the same way men would be expected to if it was women having a growing societal issue. The simple fact is men want to date and have families and every year more and more of us are unable to do those things and we’re becoming unhappy about it, some of us becoming hateful over it. We can’t just ignore this growing problem. We can’t just let more and more men become disenfranchised with …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates23/05/25 08:35 AM
19

Idk man. I have plenty of friends. I’m still incredibly lonely because I don’t have a love life. I think you’re underestimating how important love and sex is to a normal man.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates23/05/25 08:05 AM
2

We need to bring shame and morality back
/r/MensRights21/05/25 10:10 AM
7

I’d rather they pretend to care about my problems than ignore them entirely. The right pretends to care about male issues. The left ignores them entirely.
/r/MensRights21/05/25 08:53 AM
16

Exactly. I want it to be as close to even as possible. Personally, I’m a virgin, so I want a virgin or a low n woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 05:23 AM
11

There’s a difference between your drive and our drive. We both get screwed equally by the government, but your drive lets you be okay with being a slave to the system, and our drive isn’t fine with that. Give me a government that works and cares and I’ll respond with an equal work drive.
/r/MensRights09/05/25 06:35 AM
3

I mean, yeah, that’s how it works. Top of the league is top of the league and can work with anyone below them
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 12:25 PM
1

I shouldn’t have to explain something this basic to the human condition, you aren’t understanding that. It’s as simple as this - girl looks at us with strong desire = she’s horny = she’s attracted to us, we’re desirable, we ignite that flaming passion all men want in their women = good sex is either possible or imminent. It’s really as basic as that. Men want to feel like we’re attractive, too. I mean, seriously, do you live under a rock? Why don’t you understand this? Anyone over the age of ten…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 03:45 AM
0

Ok, you’re either a woman or gay, that’s the only explanation for why you’re incapable of understanding something this basic. Or autistic, like I asked.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 03:04 AM
0

You don’t understand why a man with a working, healthy sex drive would want a girl to look at him with strong desire? I don’t mean offensively, I mean it genuinely, do you have autism?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 11:42 AM
1

I would do some heinous things if it meant I could experience what this is like just once in my life. Some seriously heinous things if it made me magically attractive like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 06:48 AM
1

Sure, but I wasn’t necessarily doubting their existence, just saying that I don’t see them
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 04:33 AM
1

I genuinely don’t see those
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 03:49 AM
–

It’s a core part of the human experience that most normal people want. It shouldn’t be this hard to understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 03:28 AM
–

Cmon now, platonic relationships are not the same full stop. You and I both know this. Never being romantically considered is a huge hit on anyone’s self esteem, man or woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 03:26 AM
–

No, at the end of the day I’m unhappy that I’m an unlovable piece of shit and that my love has never been reciprocated, not that women have the deserved right to say no to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 03:23 AM
–

I advocate for two things - conversations on a societal level of whether or both men and women have unrealistically high standards and efforts to bring them down to normal, and government funded classes to teach unattractive guys how to be attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 03:20 AM
–

That’s such a callous, apathetic way to view lonely men. You can’t deny things have changed culturally, maybe even too fast for people of both genders to keep up with. It isn’t exactly our fault we’re lonely.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 03:19 AM
–

That’s not exactly how it works. Women are just privileged in dating across the board, disregard the uninterested in specific men part
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 03:17 AM
–

Yeah, they have the rightful freedom not to choose me. I also have the rightful freedom to be sad nobody wants to choose me.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 03:13 AM
1

While true they have an inherent advantage because guys are hornier all the time, so guys will always want women more than the other way around.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 02:45 PM
1

Sure. That doesn’t mean we can’t be upset nobody wants us, though. Doesn’t mean we can’t be upset we haven’t gotten a core part of the overall human experience either imo. You’d be upset if you wanted to date and never could, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 02:38 PM
1

Y’all just find me boring, and I’m awkward and anxious.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 02:35 PM
2

The world isn’t nearly as fair as you want it to be. I go for women as ugly as me, according to my friends, for the record.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 03:04 AM
2

I don’t think women owe me anything and I fucking hate that narrative. It isn’t entitlement to want to experience something most people do. Love and intimacy is a core part of the human experience. It isn’t entitlement to be upset you can’t get that experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 03:03 AM
1

Ok. So then how do you not be afraid of them and how do you get social intelligence?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 12:08 PM
1

I don’t care about free. I care about being normal and finally being wanted for once in my life, that’s all I want. Someone to finally like me the way I like them.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 05:49 AM
2

I’ve tried the self improvement things for years now, nothing has changed for me. Seriously, what the fuck am I supposed to be doing? Should I be trapped in an endless self improvement loop that continues to give me nothing that I want? It all feels so fucking pointless. I hate my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 05:37 AM
2

I’m not pushy for sex, I’m not even pushy when I’m trying to get a date. I can’t be pushy for sex because I don’t even get dates. Girls just don’t like me. I can’t be upset about that?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 04:54 AM
5

I don’t act like an ass to women. Most guys in my situation don’t. Y’all don’t like us anyway. It isn’t as black and white as you want to pretend it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 04:19 AM
2

So I’m bitter because women don’t like me, and being bitter about it means they’ll continue to not like me. What the actual fuck is the solution? I wanna know what love is like, man. I’m sick of going through my 20s always being single and touch starved.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 04:06 AM
2

They don’t want me, that’s why. Try going your whole life being unwanted. You wouldn’t like it either. Why wouldn’t I be bitter?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 03:59 AM
2

Why is it unattractive to have been single that long, then?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 07:50 AM
8

You aren’t seeing it from our perspective, though. I don’t hate women, but because I can’t attract them and I’ve always been single a lot of people immediately assume I’m a creep or I actually am a sexist.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 07:48 AM
2

I mean, I’m not fat. That’s my one physical standard in a partner - don’t be fat. I feel like that’s fair, since I’m not attracted to fat people, and I’m already not fat.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 07:46 AM
3

So…how does one become an option, then? While meeting most of not all of those qualifications already?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 07:44 AM
1

I don’t want status or anything like that. I want to know what it’s like to be attractive to someone. I want to know what it’s like to be loved by someone, to be desired, to be wanted for a change. I’ve only ever been undesired and wanted and it fucks with me, it makes me feel inhuman. I wanna know what love is like, since it’s a core part of the human experience, it’s normal to want.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 07:43 AM
3

While I agree, I do also suck with women and have previously advocated for this kind of thing to help guys like me because I personally could use some help
/r/MensRights23/04/25 05:05 AM
5

We can respect yall but still struggle, it doesn’t mean we’re bad people
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 05:02 AM
79

Yeah, I don’t hate women by any means, but it’s hard not to be a little bitter that they don’t like me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 05:00 AM
7

Ok. You also understand some of us don’t blame women, yeah? Or that being upset is entitlement and we want to force them to be with us because of that? This is a lot of assumptions to try to make us all look like we’re bad people and that’s why we’re struggling.
/r/MensRights23/04/25 04:58 AM
1

You understand some of us can just be bad with girls while not having high standards, right? And that we can be upset about that?
/r/MensRights23/04/25 04:26 AM
3

I mean, yeah. I haven’t so much as held a girls hand, they’ve never wanted me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 08:10 AM
2

What actually is that effort though? I don’t get it
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 08:00 AM
7

How is it harassment to go up to a woman you find appealing and try to talk to her? So long as you stop and leave her alone if she indicates it or doesn’t seem interested, obviously.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 06:28 PM
3

Is they’re pretty. Attractive people have it easier in every other avenue of life, too, just because they’re attractive. It’s a form of privilege that won’t be addressed anytime soon, on any meaningful scale.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 05:21 PM
11

So you’re problem is basically that we tend to want a woman, like any woman, and that will do? We do like y’all as individuals too, I hope you know that, we’re capable of wanting a woman and liking y’all individually, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 01:41 PM
5

I suspect this is a big gender difference between men or women, I personally think it’s a biological difference instead of a social one.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 07:04 AM
–

Ugh. I’d be alright with my wife’s body changing after she had our fucking kid, or got sick, or got old. And I get told all the time, I’m this very thread, to lower my standards. So should I have low standards or not? You seem to think my low standards are a bad thing because I just have the one at this point. I just don’t want to date someone who’s already fat. I don’t find fat attractive, sorry. I find ugly girls attractive, though. According to my friends I always have, I just don’t notice th…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 12:52 PM
–

That’s not what I want and not what I think. You don’t fucking know me and you don’t understand what I’m trying to say. Fuck this, I’m done here. I don’t want to be further misconstrued and mischaracterized. I’m not the misogynist you seem to think I am, ma’am. Maybe I do need to change in a lot of ways, but not like this. I have two moms. Three sisters, three grandmothers. Countless aunts and cousins since I was a kid. Women are people. That’s not a revelation to me. I don’t inhumanize y’all li…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 12:48 PM
4

I don’t see how it’s misogyny to not want a promiscuous woman. I fail to understand that. It’s just personal preference- especially if, like me, that standard gets applied to men, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 12:30 PM
–

I guess. But this is also a problem many, many men like me are experiencing in increasing numbers every year. It isn’t just a me problem and it isn’t going away, either. We want to date and be good to y’all but y’all don’t want us.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 12:29 PM
1

I said in that very same comment that I’d do things she was into that I wasn’t lol
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 12:27 PM
–

You shouldn’t have to date men you aren’t interested in, we agree with that. What I’m saying is we should examine if y’all have unrealistic standards overall. That doesn’t mean you have to drop them, I just want an honest dialogue about it, because it seems to me like the standards are way too high and most guys won’t meet them through no fault of their own except genetics and dumb luck.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 12:08 PM
–

Nothing physical, if that’s what you’re implying. All I said was on a societal level it should be examined. I just want an honest conversation about it. Because again, to me, it feels like the bar is on the moon. I’m not sexist. I’m not bigoted. I’m not even entirely awkward, I can talk to girls. I’m just a little anxious and a lot ugly.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 12:06 PM
–

You think I don’t know women are human too? Cmon now. My standards are as low as they can get without including fatties. All the women I e gone for have been, according to my friends, ugly, but I liked them regardless.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 12:05 PM
1

If that’s what I’m into, yeah, that’s my expectation. But that’s not what I’m into so it isn’t my expectation. The unspoken caveat to what I said is “so long as it’s what I’m into” which should have been obvious. But if she wanted to do certain things I didn’t want to, I’d do those things.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 12:04 PM
–

I can see how that’s frustrating, but at the end of the day, you’re desired. I’ve never been desired. I’d kill to experience what you’re experiencing.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 10:58 AM
4

Exactly. Confidence is built on good experiences in your childhood - which conventionally attractive people have far more of than unattractive people. I think one of the reasons I have such little confidence with women now is because as an ugly child girls were mean to me about my looks. I learned very early on that in ugly and women care about looks as much as we do.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 10:30 AM
1

So what are ugly guys supposed to do, then? Are we just fucked forever? Even the ugly girls don’t want us.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 10:24 AM
1

We don’t have to be happy or accept that we get left out though. I ain’t happy about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 10:23 AM
1

Yep, this is at least part of it. And hits too close to home for me, as well. I’m one of those guys. I ain’t happy about it. I’d burn the world down if I could, send us all back to the Stone Age.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 10:21 AM
1

I’d be okay with the latter too as long as she treats me the same as that guy. If she actually loves me. Does the same things in bed with me, all of that kind of stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 10:17 AM
1

So nowadays average dudes are fucked? I mean, I know they are, I just like to see other people say it
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 10:14 AM
1

Fuck that. If I had the balls to approach I’d approach hot women and ugly women, even though I’m ugly. Fuck “leagues”
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 10:09 AM
–

Eh, I guess not. Still, it isn’t fair, and it’s not right. I’m not a sexist. I’m not a bigot. Why should I have to lower my single, my one standard if I want to know what love is like? That’s cosmically unfair imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 07:58 AM
–

Yeah, and that’s all a good thing, I just think y’all can enjoy that freedom and add fulfillment and enjoyment to your lives by dating, but that’s not for me to decide. What do you suggest for the many guys like me that can’t date and might not be able to? Go to another country and hope the women there like us? Cus idk. If this trend continues in this country, the women that do want Len won’t want me, and they’ll be a significantly smaller part of the population anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 06:24 AM
5

I mean, men and women are different biologically in many, many, many ways. This could just be one of them. Probably something to do with men being the fighters in the species, having better spatial awareness due to that or something.
/r/MensRights28/03/25 06:01 AM
–

I can understand that. I just think it’s another way men and women are fundamentally different. It seems like romance and sex is more important to us than y’all. I think that’s true on a biological, eco-psych level.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 05:56 AM
–

It’s not on me individually to decide that. That’s why I said they should be societal level conversations. To me, it feels like the bar y’all have for me is on the fucking moon.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 05:51 AM
–

No, not happening. Again, I’m not fat, and with my medical condition I never will be. Doesn’t seem fair that I have to pair up with a fat woman if I want to experience love.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 05:47 AM
–

I don’t want to threaten or complain to get into y’all’s pants, that’s not what I was trying to say. As for your question, well, I’m trying to learn. Learn how to make myself more attractive. Learn how to improve my personality (however the fuck that’s actually done) I just don’t know how to do either of those things Y’all don’t find good relationships fulfilling? Or am I misconstruing what you were saying? Are relationships not important for y’all?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 05:46 AM
–

Haven’t met any that wanted me yet, and my standards aren’t as high as you seem to think. My one and only standard is “don’t be fat” cause I’m not and never will be fat.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 05:44 AM
–

No, women shouldn’t be forced to partner with men. What should happen is a societal discussion on if their standards are unrealistically high, and classes to help men like me learn how to be attractive to women and how to date them. And, yeah, why not be allowed to whine? There are more and more men like me every year. Like it or not, this problem isn’t going away anytime soon, so people are going to talk about it more and more. We’re allowed to complain about the new politician ruining our live…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 05:29 AM
–

Simply put, men and women are different. I suspect romantic relationships are more important to us than y’all because biologically we tend to be hornier or at least horny more often and easier to become horny - which is the root of love and the desire for romance, on a natural, evolutionary level. I mean, come on. There’s a reason dudes are more desperate than women. We’re willing to sleep with basically anything. Women can get these needs met far easier than men because of this.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 05:27 AM
–

Because we want girls that actually like us, not girls paid to pretend they like us. That’s depressing as fuck.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 05:25 AM
–

For me it’s an equal part wanting to experience sex but also wanting to experience love and to know what it’s like for a girl to finally like me as much as I like her. I’ve never, never gotten female validation. I want that.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 05:24 AM
–

The solution definitely isn’t that. It also isnt forcing y’all to date us. It’s societal conversations on if you’re standards are unrealistically high, and classes to help men (admittedly like me) get better at flirting and being attractive to y’all. Also federal bans on dating apps and social media would go a long way, too, but that’s never happening.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 05:23 AM
–

True - but there are more and more men unable to date or attract women every year. I’m one of them, and I’m far from happy about it. Most of us aren’t the bigoted incels people want to pretend we all are so they can ignore us and our pain.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 05:21 AM
3

It also ignores the fact that these women are attracted to the power, hays why these men were able to pursue them in the first place. They love celebrities, so they live the inherent power being a celebrity entails.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/03/25 08:36 AM
2

To me, it doesn’t matter how little they happen. Just that false accusations do happen, even if it’s rare, and the man’s life is always ruined by them. That’s reason enough to be concerned. Especially if you’re me - the unholy trinity of ugly, awkward and anxious. I misspeak and, because of what I look like, it will be construed as creepy and awkward. The wrong woman could ruin my life in seconds.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates25/03/25 09:46 AM
17

They don’t like most of us so they would never approach most of us. And they’re privileged in this regard so they don’t want to lose that privilege.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates25/03/25 09:44 AM
1

There are only men and women, though…
/r/MensRights24/03/25 10:31 AM
1

There’s always one sims in the lesbian relationship who has less light in her eyes. That’s the man of that lesbian relationship. She gets all the shit and had to shoulder it like men do.
/r/MensRights24/03/25 08:08 AM
3

Yep. Men and women are different fundamentally, and I suspect the willingness to entertain homosexual acts or feelings is one way in which we are veeeeery different.
/r/MensRights24/03/25 08:07 AM
1

Struggle to understand how that definition of pansexuality isn’t just being bisexual lol.
/r/MensRights24/03/25 08:06 AM
4

Exactly. Most of these are straight, gay, and bi - and then these loons adding stipulations and complications in top of straight, gay, or bi.
/r/MensRights24/03/25 08:05 AM
1

There are no ethical solutions. I advocate for classes to help guys like me learn how to be more attractive and how to be better with girls but that’ll never happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 09:31 AM
10

That’s the thing though, it feels like y’all see normal guys as losers when they’re just…normal.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 07:05 AM
1

To an extent I think it’s that - like the left handedness explosion once schools stopped enforcing right handedness. But I also think there’s a deeper influence beyond more people being accepting about it. Something about our diets or the myriad of plastics and chemicals were exposed to pre-birth and throughout our lives has to have some kind of an effect too.
/r/MensRights14/03/25 05:40 AM
–

It’s crazy, but get this: two wrongs don’t make a right. You should’ve learned that when you were 5. Mocking women for that is bad. Mocking men for dick size is bad. It’s really that simple. Idk why y’all are justifying male body shaming. Body shaming is bad, end of discussion.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 03:25 AM
11

If they try to convince me the gas chamber is better for society and that me being against said gas chamber is some variation of -ist or -phobic then fuck them. I’ll gladly watch them ignore my warnings and walk in.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/03/25 09:07 AM
3

Idk how genuine that is though. I think it’s a bit of a fad to identify as non-hetero and a lot of people are genuinely just confused. Logically, our species doesn’t have this many people that aren’t “natural” (as in, being hetero creates new life which is the point of life to begin with - survive and make more of you)
/r/MensRights13/03/25 07:34 AM
6

I find the opposite of this to be true. Men have to learn to “settle” with what we can realistically get otherwise we’ll be virgins our whole lives. We quickly learn in life where we fall, as early as being kids. We learn that young if we’re attractive or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 06:32 AM
2

What kind of body language? What do you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 06:28 AM
3

Terrible advice. Men can’t ignore women. We’ll all be virgins and the human race will die out if we don’t ever approach and wait for them to “make it obvious” (y’all don’t do this. You think you do but y’all don’t)
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 04:29 AM
3

If you can explain it better by all means go ahead, it would be appreciated.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 07:18 PM
1

Sure, it’s just that it’s different for a lot of women, and I feel like looks are more important than most women want to admit, since a lot will say they don’t matter at all which is obviously bullshit.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 10:33 AM
18

Yeah, I gotta get off this sub. This shit is suicide fuel. Thanks, though. The insight is appreciated.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 09:52 AM
5

So, like a pheromone thing? Guys like that (me, I’m a guy like that) are just predisposed to be unsexual? That’s fucked. I’d riot if that was scientifically proven.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 09:45 AM
6

How does one go from being an “unsexual man” to a sexual one then?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 09:14 AM
5

So looks are important then? More so than other things or less so?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 09:13 AM
8

Not exactly true. I have a crazy sex drive. Could masturbate ten times a day if I didn’t control myself and find other things to do, and that’s without porn at all. Also can’t get a girlfriend for the life of me despite trying.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 09:12 AM
2

Ok, but most people want sex, and it isn’t exactly wrong to say that in a lot of relationships sex is pretty important. Besides, most guys will tell you that their partner wanting sex with them is the best way they feel desired.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 03:55 PM
2

Sure, but to what extent? What about if you’re dating a month or two and haven’t had sex yet? At what point do you think it’s reasonable to say “she just doesn’t desire me”?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 03:51 PM
4

It’s a bad thing to want your partner to desire you?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 03:47 PM
1

It’s not that we expect you to follow the same script for every guy - it’s just that, if I was a guy you made wait after a few weeks, while you slept with someone else immediately, I’m going to feel like you’re less attracted to me than you were to that other guy, and I’m not gonna like that. We want our partners to want us like we want them.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 03:38 PM
12

Most leftists really don’t like hearing about misandry. Frankly, they don’t give a shit about men or our issues, and it’s why men aren’t inclined to be leftist. They see how the left talks about men and responds to our issues and they see how…we’ll, fucking hateful too many leftists can be and that’s like kryptonite for trying to get men to join the movement.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/03/25 09:37 AM
1

🤷‍♂️ everyone has to have standards, yeah? I’m not going after thin supermodels, friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 08:33 AM
4

I’m genuinely curious what the ratio of women like that is compared to men like that. I’d bet both my nuts the number of awkward / autistic / ugly guys is muuuuuuch higher
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 06:29 AM
0

And you know the women I go for how? I’m 24, I go for women around my age. Every girl I’ve ever gone for has been described by my friends as “not pretty” to say it kindly, but I liked them. My one (1) standard is really simple - don’t be fat, because I’m not fat and I will never let myself be fat.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 06:25 AM
0

Average looking doesn’t automatically mean unattractive, though, just…a normal looking person. Y’all aren’t attracted to that? Ever?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 05:16 AM
1

Isn’t that basically reaffirming what they said though? Bear in mind I disagree at least partially with what he said, since there are objectively creepy things you can say or do, but I also think you’re more likely to be assumed to be creepy regardless of behavior if you’re unattractive. But you’re basically saying Chad can do something and get away with it because he’s hot, the unattractive guy can say something and have it be construed as creepy just because he’s unattractive. Right?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 05:10 AM
1

Exactly. If you don’t have the looks, you have to dance like a puppet dangling from strings, and if you don’t have the looks…you eventually have to dance like a puppet dangling from strings. It feels like we also have to be at 100% and always have to be entertaining and always have to be this and always have to be that
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 05:06 AM
1

What man hurt you? You clearly don’t think highly of us
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 02:29 AM
1

Not really, it doesn’t matter to me. Do I like her? Do I love her? That’s good enough for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 03:59 PM
3

A lot of us don’t mind if we have to support our partner, the gold digger worry is that she only likes us for our money and that’s it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 03:46 PM
1

Wasted a lot of money on bumble. Only ever got one date. First thing she said is “oh, you aren’t that short!” Didn’t get a second date. Get maybe one match a month that goes nowhere. Still paying for it in the hope that I meet somebody who isn’t superficial. I don’t get likes, I swipe on every girl without looking and then decide if I want to pursue if and when I rarely get a match. I also only match with hippos, and my one, my single standard is “don’t be fat” because I’m not fat and I won’t le…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 06:44 AM
2

Sure, but men often go king periods without sexual validation, so we tend to want that on top of wanting to be valued for everything else about us. This is just a fundamental difference between the sexes.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 06:36 AM
2

Sure, but for most people that’s just not the case. Typically as an adult if you’ve dated, you’ve had sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 06:35 AM
2

Yes, I want to get married and have kids. I also want whoever I marry to see me as hookup material on top of husband material - I want her to genuinely be attracted to me and desire me. Most men want to be both hookup and husband material to the woman they see as wife material. We’re just wary when we’re only called husband material because we’re afraid it means she isn’t as attracted as she was to previous men and doesn’t desire us the same way she did those men. It isn’t exactly uncommon for a…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 06:32 AM
–

It’s really as simple as women need to communicate what they want and like, but a lot of women seem to suck at that or don’t want to, they expect the guy to mind read and intuitively know.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 05:40 AM
–

You understand that men can be selfish partners and not care, while also on a societal level good sex is the responsibility of the man, yeah? Like, both things can be true at the same time - a lot of men don’t care to make it good for her, while at the same time it’s men overall who are expected to make the sex good for her because either way it’ll be good for him.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 05:39 AM
5

So it’s a requirement for the guy to hit on you first before you develop feelings? I’m having trouble understanding. You don’t just develop feelings on your own organically?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 04:25 AM
1

Yeah kinda. I meant to say “one or more other people”
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 06:59 PM
1

I’m not ignoring masturbating. It’s a solo sexual act, so it doesn’t count. I shouldn’t have to explain to you that sex involves one or more people, come on now.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 06:39 PM
5

We also have dumb monkey brains and we crave something to be outraged over
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 06:38 PM
1

Virginity as a concept exists because there are people who have had sex and people who haven’t. It can get a little murky when considering gay relationships but as far as I’m I’m concerned it’s as simple as this - for straight relationships losing virginity is when you have PiV sex. For guy X guy it’s when you do anal, either receiving or giving. And for girl X girl it’s when you go down on each other / do something sexual with each other. But saying it doesn’t exist is really stupid. Those who …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 06:34 PM
3

Because most women won’t do that as far as I’m concerned and we don’t have the luxury of choosing among many options that a lot of women have. If we don’t want to be single and celibate for potentially years on end we’ll talk what we can get and yeah, we’ll love what we can get anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 03:31 AM
4

Yes, but I also want a partner to be attracted to me and also want to be valued for my appearance. It’s not complicated. To our partner, we want to be both husband material and hookup material. Attractive enough that she’d hook up with us if circumstances were different, but likable and competent enough that she wants us for a LTR.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 03:28 AM
7

Eh. They are scumbags and felons but they get women and I don’t, so it’s frustrating to see
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 03:25 AM
2

Men like sex. In other news, water is wet. Like that’s crazy. We can value sex a lot and also value love and a genuine connection. But we also want to feel attractive and that our partner is attracted to us. The fact is, in terms of how men feel about this, we’ll feel less attractive if she makes us wait and didn’t for somebody else. We don’t want that. We want to be both husband material and hookup material.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 03:23 AM
2

It’s as simple as this - I’ve wanted a girlfriend since I was 14, I’m 24 now. I’ve wanted to know what love is like for ten years, what sex was like for ten years, all of that. I’ve been wanting and not getting for ten years, so yeah, of course I’m looking forward to all those things far more than the first book I ever read. If you were starving for years, your first proper meal would be something to remember.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 03:18 AM
7

It’s really as simple as this for me - I have little to no experience whatsoever, so I want someone that has little to no experience too. Otherwise things will feel unbalanced. My first kiss is going to be important to me because it’s my first kiss ever. It won’t matter as much to her if it’s her fiftieth. Same with V Day, my first Valentines day with her will be more important to me because it’s my first in a relationship, while it might be her tenth. Same with sex. I’m going to be losing my vi…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 08:38 AM
1

I prefer modesty. I’m trying to find a girl with as little experience as me, so I’m not going to talk to the scantily dressed girl, because chances are she had a lot of experience, and that’s not someone I personally want to know.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 07:53 AM
1

No, even if it’s for a medical condition, if there’s a guarantee that sex will never happen again I just can’t do it. If it’s because of a medical condition and the situation can be fixed then yeah, I’m staying, but part of the reason most people get into relationships is to have a stable sex partner (even if they don’t consciously realize that’s why they’re in a relationship)
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 07:28 AM
9

I mean, that’s a horrible way to look at it imo. Girls I’ve gone for have been described as unattractive by my friends, but I still thought they were attractive. It isn’t a one size fits all scale, some people will be attracted to things about people others would consider unattractive. So ideally, I want someone I consider attractive who also considers me attractive. Also, “why care if she is attracted to you” is a really stupid statement.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 05:05 AM
4

Yeah they aren’t beating the “we only like them for what they provide” allegations any time soon
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 04:30 AM
13

Idk, I don’t think you’re fully understanding it. I don’t just want sex, I want a relationship, but if she makes me wait for sex while she had sex immediately with another guy, it’s going to feel like she doesn’t actually like me or find me attractive. If she’s the type who doesn’t sleep with a guy immediately I wouldn’t care.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 04:25 AM
–

That’s not what I’m saying, friend. Your reading comprehension is failing you. I’m saying boiling blue pill ideas down to what you initially said is a surface level way to understand said bluer pill ideas, not that they’re entirely wrong. To answer your question those three things are important, to a slightly lesser degree than looks. A woman will choose a good personality and moral hot guy with hobbies over a boring immoral hot guy that does nothing but play video games and smoke weed.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 11:54 AM
–

I think that’s a very superficial take on overall bluer pill ideas
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 11:03 AM
–

Nah. Overall I find the pill dichotomy stuff stupid, but overall I lean more blue than red. I’ve been described as a very dark blue and I think that makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 09:04 AM
–

Idk about you but I can typically tell even if it’s just belly fat, but also if his arms and wrists are fat and he has a double chin. Plenty of ways to tell, they just have that look to them
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 04:21 AM
–

Yep, as dudes we learn we have to settle. Every guy discovers the range at which he can shoot at some point during his life.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 04:20 AM
0

It doesn’t inherently make them a bad person though, this is borderline discriminatory. It’s like the joke about needing job experience in that field for an entry level position.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:07 AM
3

I agree, though you don’t necessarily need college for that depending on circumstance. But the average person isn’t gonna be able to do that. Which is my point. Most people don’t make that much and won’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 01:08 PM
15

Your standards are your standards and you can keep them, I just find a lot of the time when this specific discourse is brought up people are very unrealistic. The simple fact is most of us are going to be average, meaning average income. We should always strive not to be, but not everyone gets to make 100k a year, for example. Most of us here won’t, that’s just a simple fact, even if we try extremely hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 07:02 AM
3

Idk if need is the best way to phrase it, but for men more so than women imo it is a much stronger biological urge, and it is certainly a core part of the human experience, so not being able to engage in that feels dehumanizing and is devastating.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 08:21 AM
2

How is that a goalpost when they answered your question lol
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 08:19 AM
-3

Women would never shame that, since every one wants a guy that out earns them
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 03:58 PM
5

I’ve been moral and selfless my whole life. Still a virgin, no girlfriend. So if I get the chance to be selfish I’m taking it, morality be damned.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 06:23 PM
5

Well I’m not gonna lie, I’m just not going to talk about it. Why tell the truth and risk losing what I’ve wanted for so long?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 06:21 PM
3

Fully plan on it if the chance ever comes around for me. Not gonna risk losing my first chance at a relationship because of this. Not lying, just not talking about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 05:12 PM
13

Just gonna say, I strongly recommend my fellow mid 20s virgins don’t look at these comments. Lots of shit that makes me feel worse about myself here.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 04:43 PM
3

Women put up the bar, but it isn’t their fault I’m ugly, awkward, and anxious, so I can’t reach it. That doesn’t mean I can’t complain about that, though, but I’m not blaming women.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 04:31 PM
4

Brother, I didn’t once say it was a woman issue. Literally from the start of this thread I always said it’s that way to me. You’re being a dick for no reason lol Seriously tho, why were you being a dick?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 04:26 PM
3

I don’t have one. This isn’t a gotcha like you think, I’m not debating anything. I’m just saying how I feel.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 03:42 PM
4

Not accurately I’m afraid, because again, to me it feels like it’s on the moon. I don’t hate women, I quite like them. I’m not a Nazi. I’m pretty funny, to guys at least. I’m ugly but not terribly ugly. I just can’t get a date or a girlfriend for the life of me, so again, the bar is on the moon as far as I’m concerned, because women just don’t like me.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 09:06 AM
–

All of them. The first one might not depending on context, but the way you said it, “getting a number” is akin to how guys say “I got her number” in reference to a girl he wants to date or sleep with, so in that case yes all of these are cheating. So is playful flirting with the work wife/husband, that’s also cheating. So is letting a guy or girl hit on you and not turning him down immediately, that’s cheating imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 08:22 AM
5

Brother, to me it feels like the bar is on the fucking moon
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 03:57 AM
2

How so? How could men end the competition? By all being celibate?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 03:55 AM
1

Yes, it’s a dealbreaker. I love reading and writing. While I’m desperate for live and sex, I’m not that desperate.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 11:48 AM
3

I’ll answer for myself, not OP. Misogyny like that is just as bad as misandry. Stop hating each other over gender. I don’t hate women. I just want one to love me.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 10:51 AM
0

Sure, I can agree with that, that doesn’t mean it’s something women should do though. It’s still body shaming.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 10:00 AM
1

Again, that’s just extremely depressive and not an ideal future imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 01:45 PM
0

I’m talking average in every sense of the word, not just looks. Most of us are going to have average intelligences, average incomes, average looks, average everything.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 09:33 AM
-1

Idk I’m of the opinion that average people should pair up with comparatively average people, and most people, including the two of us, are going to be average. If women see that as settling and men don’t then something’s wrong with women and their expectations frankly.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 07:39 AM
1

That just sounds completely dystopian dawg, that’s not the future we should be building
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 07:37 AM
2

Hope not. I want kids, a marriage, the whole thing. If I can’t have that in my life I’m going to be deeply unhappy about it. If it’s a culture problem as well as an economic one, we need to re-examine the culture and see where we’re going wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 07:34 AM
-1

I mean, I’d start with telling her why she’s always attracted to toxic men and have her work that out with her therapist but that’s just me
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 10:17 AM
2

No, but a lot of guys do - those guys just aren’t attractive so the girls don’t want them. The guys a lot of girls actually are attracted to don’t have those qualities, which both inspires guys not to care about those qualities and means the women don’t get guys with those qualities.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 10:15 AM
12

Don’t want to date in your own league then sure, be single. Just don’t lie about why you’re single though. And don’t complain if you can’t get the best men to commit to you when they have so many other options
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 12:06 PM
0

Not reading all this. I lean blue pill heavily, but can agree with a lot of this, too. To me, a mid 20s guy that hasn’t held hands with a girl let alone had sex, can’t move out to an affordable apartment, had no resources to help me through college, it definitely feels like society has failed me in many ways. Frankly, I’d be alright with everything crashing and burning, even if I myself die in the inferno, because this stuff isn’t working for anybody and we need something better.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 09:46 AM
0

A mid-20s girl with no experience is my dream personally, as a mid-20s guy with no experience. No expectations I can’t meet immediately, no baggage, no diseases, we’re both starting at 0, yeah. That’s the dream for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 08:47 AM
2

For the most part, yes. I’ve been described as a darker blue than most
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 09:32 AM
6

So wait for a woman to be ready to settle after dating around and having her fun, when she wouldn’t have given me the time of day a few years earlier. Fuuuuck that. Eagerly awaiting a societal collapse if this is the modern expectation for average men.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 06:43 AM
19

Sure the point is to hurt, but it’s also kinda regressive of them to use a lack of being able to “get women” as a gotcha, at least in my eyes. Like, don’t they want guys to focus on other things besides getting laid? Seems incongruous to me
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 05:56 PM
1

I just know how a lot of other guys are. I mean, it really shouldn’t be a surprise that a lot of guys are like this, it really, really shouldn’t. And yeah, don’t have sex with a man that doesn’t like you - so wait a while so you can figure out if he actually does or if he just wants to hit. That isn’t complicated, and there are plenty of circumstances that can make that wait a shorter one or a longer one.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 02:00 PM
1

Me personally, no. Most men, probably, yeah. This goes back to “don’t have sex unless he’s committed to you” which just means a return to tradition lol
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 05:42 AM
1

Well, yeah, most guys will take sex with someone they don’t like over not having sex at all. And yeah, I think women shouldn’t immediately sleep with a guy until they know he’s committed.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 04:24 AM
1

It’s really as simple as men are hornier, horny more often and get horny easier, and are willing to sleep with almost any woman they see if they’re horny because they have less consequences for that. Where’s women aren’t as horny all the time and are more selective. Most guys are unattractive in some way to women. Most men will not have a percentage of the attention most women will get (for better or worse, and, yes, that attention women get isn’t always good.) so yes, women do “gatekeep” sex in…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 11:22 AM
8

Oh yeah, I won’t deny that, because people suck in general at a lot of things. I was just saying in terms of saying what you like in bed women particularly suck and that’s a reason they have bad sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 10:08 AM
5

Yeah that’s basically it. Even if they like you, they still need their friends to think you’re cool, too. It’s a social proof thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 09:57 AM
–

Exactly, so the more important point for a guy that can’t get a conversation with a woman let alone a date is to emphasize the physical attraction thing (which women will always say doesn’t matter to them when it clearly does) and ignore the hobby stuff at least initially
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 08:13 AM
20

Communication. A lot of y’all suck at saying what you want in bed. Too many of y’all are pillow princesses expecting the guy to be a mind reader and magically know what feels good for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 08:06 AM
0

Brother, the delusion is that the person you might want doesn’t exist, you’ll never meet him, or he won’t commit to you, because there are a dozen people identical to you also vying for his attention. That’s the delusion - that you have very high standards that 98% of people can’t meet, and refuse to lower them or settle with someone comparatively average to you (shot in the dark there, since most of us are going to be average).
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 08:01 AM
-2

Well, no, I said you can be single if you want to, my argument is just that the standard for a 2% person is inherently delusional because there’s only 2% and everybody else wants them, so chances are you either won’t find that person, they’ll use you because they can, or they won’t be interested. You can have that standard if you want, you don’t have to lower it, but it is a delusion to hold out and only date someone that just doesn’t exist like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 12:05 PM
0

You’re misinterpreting me completely. Never said you’re compelled to date. You can have your standards all you want, but, to use your example, if Nolan movies were only 2% of the total movies there are, and there are plenty of other good movies, and that 2% Nolan movie is always packed because everybody wants to see it, you’d have better luck with another movie. That doesn’t mean you have to watch another movie, just that if you want to watch a movie and can’t get into the Nolan one, you should …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 11:40 AM
0

I wasn’t saying it as a threat, just a blanket fact that it happens. Y’all gotta chill out a bit
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 11:37 AM
0

It can’t be changed ethically, it just is how it is, and like I said, it’s because guys are naturally hornier, so we’ll always be in want of y’all. If y’all want kids you do have the biological clock ticking but that’s about it in terms of nature making a balance there.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 11:23 AM
-1

Sure, but then the question is do you want to eventually have a relationship / kids / marriage and all that, in which case those criteria can be delusional. But you’re a woman, I’m a guy. We have fundamentally different ideals when it comes to being in a relationship vs being single because odds are, I’m naturally hornier than you, and so more prone to lower my standards and not want to be single.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 11:19 AM
-5

I’d argue they are, if that person just doesn’t exist, or is part of 2% of the population. There’s such a thing as delusion and having too high standards. That’s not saying all women are like that, just that it happens. You can’t get a 6’4 200k year in shape man, that’s a slim percentage of the population, and an example of a delusional standard.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 11:13 AM
5

It doesn’t matter if it’s an exaggerated issue if a large number of men still believe it’s a risk, though. That just ignores how they feel and why they feel like that, and the ramifications of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 04:55 AM
–

I’d still question her judgement then, and besides that, all of this is something I’d try to avoid.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 09:34 AM
–

If did anything that would constitute a hoe phase even then it’s a no from me. Our values just don’t align at that point, since I think hoe phases are bad - for men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 09:29 AM
2

I genuinely don’t want a hookup, though. I feel like you’re fundamentally misunderstanding the argument. I also don’t want sex on the first date, sex to me is a more intimate thing than that. That being said, it’s about how I would think she feels about me if she did sleep with guys in the first date (and I somehow knew that) but didn’t want to, hint at it or try to initiate on the first date with me. That would make me feel like she’s less attracted to me compared to the guys before.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 01:31 PM
0

I wouldn’t assume, and there’s no way to know without asking, which I wouldn’t do. Doesn’t change how I feel regarding this, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 09:20 PM
0

🤷‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 05:58 PM
-2

I don’t think women are slurs if they like sex. I also don’t expect or really want sex on the first date, however, if she’s slept on the first date with other guys, I kinda want her to do that with me, too. Otherwise I’d feel like shes less attracted to me compared to them, it would feel a bit unequal. I’m going to desire her because, well, I’m a guy. So in that kind of context I don’t any her to desire me, too, or I’m wasting my time.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 05:50 PM
–

I would broach the subject far before asking, yeah. As for the rest of what you said, again, people suck. Like I said, every man that raised a kid that wasn’t really theirs trusted their wife and loved her. Their wives still betrayed them like that, because like we agree, people do suck. You never know what someone might do one day, what they can be capable of. Especially as people change over time. I wouldn’t marry a woman unless I trusted her and loved her 100%, but at the same time, I don’t w…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 01:40 PM
-1

Yeah, you aren’t entirely wrong, it’s dependent on circumstance some of the time. But family court tends to favor women, so if there are kids they often end up with the mom instead of the dad. And you hear far more stories of men being financially devastated by a divorce rather than women because of things like alimony and child support and women getting the house, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 04:57 AM
5

Well the consequences of divorce, for men, are typically financial and often devastating. So if they have little other incentive to marry, and a lot of risk if the marriage ends, they question why they should marry in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 04:20 AM
1

Yeah of course there are too many variables that could be involved for it to be that black and white, but variables notwithstanding, I think what I was describing is a fair way to feel.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 04:00 AM
–

Because despite what I said, I still think that’s true, fundamentally. Men are the pursuers, most women don’t like to or want to pursue like we have to. And most men don’t get their first pick, or second, or third, and so on.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 03:58 AM
0

Look, it’s really just as simple as women have a guarantee the baby is theirs, and men don’t. Don’t you think that’s a little unfair? Even the playing field here.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 07:52 PM
–

Not quite what I was saying. Of course men want to get with hot women, though, that part you were right about. We’re largely visual creatures, and men are just hornier, so of course we want to sleep with the most attractive women. That being said, that doesn’t mean we don’t like or can’t love a “plain Jane” type, or that she wouldn’t be our first pick over a hotter woman. Personality matters for y’all, too. Personally I’d rather be with a plainer looking girl who’s a big fan of literature and ho…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 06:55 PM
5

Because men and women are different. Simple as that.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 09:13 AM
3

Ok, so you aren’t like most people. You can at least acknowledge you’re different from how most people are instead of pretending that what you’re saying is objective fact that applies to most people.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 09:12 AM
1

Doesn’t matter. What I said regarding men and why we’ll go for women we find ugly is still true. If the women we like don’t like us, we have two options - go for women we don’t like or be sexless. There isn’t a single straight man on earth that wants to be celibate for years on end. So we go for women we find ugly. They tend to be less toxic and superficial, too, and get less attention from other men.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 05:35 AM
13

I always disliked this argument. Plenty of men in history loved and trusted their wives and still ended up raising kids that weren’t theirs, and never knew. Look, people suck. People do awful things. I might love and trust my future wife 100%, I wouldn’t marry her if I didn’t, but I also don’t want to be part of the statistic of cucked men raising another man’s kid. It isn’t complicated.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 05:21 AM
1

Women can get who they want, men get who they can. It’s really as simple as that to answer your question. It’s because women they are attracted to don’t want them, they still want a girlfriend, and they still want to have sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 04:51 AM
7

Not really, it goes back to me not wanting to waste my time. I’m a man. The fact of the matter is, I’m going to be very sexually attracted to a girl I pursue. If I want a relationship with said girl, I want her to be similarly sexually attracted to me. Making me wait while she slept with other guys first would mean she isn’t as sexually attracted to me as I am to her, or as much as she was to those other guys, so it would be a waste of my time.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 04:06 AM
–

I’d personally take only being fuckboy material over only being husband material. I want her to desire me the same way I desire her. I don’t want to be the guy she’d marry but not the guy she would have hooked up with. Ideally I want to be both, but if I can only have one? I choose the one she has a raw passion for.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 09:23 PM
24

Yeah. I don’t expect sex on the first date, but if she made me wait while having sex on the first date or so with other guys, I’m going to feel like she isn’t as attracted to me as she was to them. So it would be a waste of my time to pursue a deeper relationship. It’s as simple as that.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 08:56 PM
5

It really boils down to “men and women are just different.” Women don’t have to be alone, that’s why they can be happier alone. But if a man is alone and doesn’t want to be, it’s much more of a struggle. Women know they are valued by the opposite sex their entire lives, even if it’s bad. Men don’t get to experience that same level of validation and being desired. We’re also just hornier, plain and simple.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 08:44 PM
0

People do different things / are weird. Your “why are you here then” thing is kinda like how a toddler sees the world - there’s no nuance there.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 08:22 AM
1

Why though? Most people a few decades ago, and also now, only had a handful of sex partners in their whole life. Not as many people as you think hook up in clubs lol, it’s a minority of the same people doing it again and again.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 06:19 AM
0

That’s not true to all men, but regardless I find a kind of equality in this. Women’s standards for men are different when we’re in our 20s compared to our 30s, and overall I think men have it harder in the dating scene. So if y’all have unreasonable standards applied to you, I consider it an evening of the playing field.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 09:34 AM
2

Love being real, feminism being necessary in terms of maintaining / working towards equality, overall I find it less cynical and better for my mental health, personality being as important as looks and maybe more so, sometimes less so depending on the person, and I think red pill generalizes too much sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 10:32 AM
6

I think that if I don’t have at least some hope then I’ve lost. Even if it’s all a losing game I’d still rather have some hope because it beats being bitter and depressed all of the time instead of some of the time
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 10:28 AM
–

That’s not entirely true, since peasant women married peasant men and could even fell in love with them in the past, otherwise most of us wouldn’t be here. Sure, they might want the rich lord too, but us guys wanted the rich lady. Just because we couldn’t get the rich lady doesn’t mean we didn’t fall in love with our comparatively average peasant wife, though, so why can’t the same be true for the peasant wife falling in love with her peasant husband?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 10:07 AM
–

Kind of agree, kind of disagree. I think it’s poor dating and economic issues that for men at least can be unaddressed or looked down on that makes men bitter and feel defeated, which in turn prompts them to be drawn to figures like Tate, who then exacerbate that bitterness and turn it into anger.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 10:03 AM
8

Well despite my struggles and occasional bitter cynicism I’m a hopeless romantic at heart, and I think that trait is more a blue thing than a red thing. Overall I think the blue stuff is better for one’s mental health, the red can be a little too cynical for me and I try to avoid that when I’m in a better place mentally. I think the red pill tends to over-exaggerate with their stats sometimes, too. Red types tend to make sweeping generalizations that I just don’t think apply to everybody because…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 10:00 AM
10

I get this a lot. I think I can be frustrated at my dating life / options while holding some core blue pill ideas. I’m not an incel (at least ideologically, but by definition I am) and I disagree with some red pill stuff and find some of it to be a bit toxic more or less, so I go by blue pill. But overall I find the idea of the pills as dumb as political parties because nothing is black and white in this world, especially individual peoples perspectives on different things. I guess you could say…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 09:39 AM
–

Overall agree with the sentiment, I personally hate hearing “the bar is in hell / on the floor” because like you’re saying, it feels like that doesn’t apply to me, just the guys the women that say it notice / would notice. Because for me, an awkward uggo, it feels like the bar is on the moon.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 09:21 AM
7

Not really, since I already knew that. And it’s not like I’m finding those women who are similarly frustrated, so while I empathize since I’m in the same situation, it doesn’t change how I feel.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 01:08 PM
16

I can be blue pill and still upset about my own dating situation or the state of dating. I’m not an incel, the red pill is too toxic for me, and I agree with a lot of blue pill takes.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 01:07 PM
36

Makes me feel unlovable and like I’m not even human. Feels like I have to pull teeth and dance like a puppet on strings to be considered a worthy prospect by a girl. Feels like applying for a job that’s “desperately hiring” then getting stuck in an endless loop of interviews where I have to validate my own existence. It sucks. I feel like I’m invisible. This is why I hate hearing “the bar is in hell” from women, because to me it feels like it’s on the fucking moon.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 09:17 AM
0

Sure, but if they were hornier or at least as horny as men, they’d be sleeping around a lot more, regardless of the orgasm gap, because they’re horny. Most women don’t do that, though. This isn’t saying “women don’t get horny” this is just saying “men are hornier and get horny more easily than women” You say it’s because men are simps - why though? Why are they simps? It’s because they’re horny and like you kinda said, don’t as easily have a sex partner to release that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 09:50 AM
3

I think using men’s behavior and eagerness with which they pursue sex and relationships is reason enough to say they’re hornier regardless of scientific study. To me, and from people I’ve talked to on this very sub, that’s just common sense. Why else do you think visual porn is predominantly consumed by men? That they visit sex workers more, are the majority of consumers on only fans, etc?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 09:31 AM
5

Part of that is because most of us here believe you approach things in bad faith and won’t listen or will pretend you don’t understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 01:04 AM
9

While you’re right, it’s far easier at least for women to get validation from men than vice Versa, which can help with feeling fulfilled romantically, and it’s also just easier for women to enter relationships than men regardless of the ultimate quality because they don’t have to pursue, they just have to allow a man to pursue.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 01:16 PM
8

Agree and disagree. Friends won’t provide intimacy and closeness the same way a girlfriend would, not to mention of course the sex. You can also absolutely be lonely despite having friends, depending on where you and your friends live, if they have partners or not, what their individual schedules are like compared to mine, etc. I think you’re incapable of understanding why a partnership is important for guys because you’re…not a guy. It’s as simple as that - attribute it to biological difference…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 01:11 PM
1

Sure but in my experience and what I’ve seen, they go for guys in their attractiveness range less and less
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 09:16 AM
2

Disagree heavily. Love and romance are and always will be core parts of the human experience. It’s normal and okay to want to experience those things.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 08:52 AM
–

Most people were peasants. We’re still peasants, we just pretend otherwise. I’m not denying women worked, it often wasn’t the same jobs men did and when it was, it was farming. Ideally housework should be shared and expenses should be shared. Only a small minority of people can raise an entire family on one income alone these days, that’s the delusional standard we should move past. But if y’all don’t want that, then there shouldn’t be wage equality, because if y’all collectively decide to only …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 07:46 AM
–

It doesn’t feel like the standards are that low for us men, though. It feels like y’all have an endless number of hoops we need to jump through first.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 07:24 AM
–

It’s the modern day, we shouldn’t have to make enough on our own to support the whole family. But if that’s what y’all want, we can’t have wage equality, because then y’all will go for fewer and fewer men. You can’t have women only wanting men that earn more than them while also wanting to earn the same as those me , it doesn’t compute. The solution to that isn’t to lower women’s wages artificially, but to move past the standard that the man has to be the primary provider instead of it being a p…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 07:22 AM
1

The thing is if a girl I’m dating has slept with guys on the first date or just a ONS, I’d want her to be intimate like me just as fast as she was with them, or I’ll feel like she isn’t as attracted to me as she was them, and it’s going to hurt. If she hasn’t, then I don’t expect that, but I do expect to be intimate with her at the same general time she was with guys before me
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 04:59 AM
1

To an extent. I’ve gone my whole life without receiving sexual attention, so I wouldn’t say no to being treated like a sex object by women. Besides a relationship, I want to be desired, I want to know what that’s like.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 04:56 AM
1

Overall I guess I can agree. It’s just ridiculously unfair you say I need to spend years to do all this stuff while women…don’t. And I’d be okay with how unfair that is if people actually admitted it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 04:53 AM
–

Cmon now be reasonable. My one physical standard is “don’t be fat” because I’m not. I’m not out here looking for supermodels, I’m just looking for one person that likes me for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 04:32 AM
–

God this just sounds exhausting. And it is. Trying to find that 1% that might find me attractive is like pulling my fucking teeth out.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 04:28 AM
11

When we say it’s easy for women, we’re saying the women you’re talking about could easily get romantic and sexual attention if they really wanted to. They don’t have to do the approaching, they can just go somewhere men approach and wait for a man to approach, then be openly receptive. They could be in the game if they wanted to, they just don’t. Whereas a man in the same situation has to put a lot more work in to get a fraction of the attention the woman would be able to get
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 04:25 AM
10

Or just picking their men very poorly
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 04:22 AM
1

And I think monogamy being more profound is a good thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 10:35 AM
1

While I agree with everything else you said, I think there’s a societal responsibility to be a good person, so in that way there kind of is a mandate to be faithful to someone you’re exclusive with. It’s just an unspoken social contract thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 08:43 AM
5

They aren’t saying that though, just that contractual obligation would be a way to verify the relationship wasn’t exclusive and that it actually was cheating. Because in our lovely modern world there are all sorts of different relationships out there, many of which are non-monogamous, so if a hypothetical government cheating list were made there would need to be some way to verify that it was cheating and not just sleeping with someone else while in a non-monogamous partnership.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 08:41 AM
2

Yes, but this conversation isn’t about men, is it?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 12:09 PM
6

On paper that’s true, and in practice mostly true, but how many guys do girls have to sift through despite being good, loyal and caring? We’re both men. We know how other men are. They’ll lie about their intentions to get laid if that’s all they care about. They’ll pretend to like things they actually hate, etc etc. It’s still easier for a girl to find a relationship than a guy, on that we agree, but it isn’t as easy as we like to pretend on this sub. It’s easy for them to get laid, not as easy …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 12:08 PM
4

I didn’t say the girls have it just as bad as the guys, mate. I meant it might be harder for them to find a proper relationship than OP is implying, since they have to sift through guys just trying to fuck or be casual, or lying about who they are to look good. It’s a perspective thing. We both know how guys are, so put yourself in a woman’s shoes who’s trying to find a husband.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 11:40 AM
8

Only thing I’ll reply to is that it can be easier for them to get casual sex / fwb situations, but if they want actual relationships it might be harder to get.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 11:36 AM
11

It would be different if it worked out for me just once. Always being rejected and it never working makes it hard to not take rejections personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 06:29 PM
14

Yes and no. You can be the most confident person there is and not want to be rejected a dozen times in rapid succession.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 05:19 PM
52

They couldn’t imagine it. It would break them more than it breaks us
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 03:58 PM
96

The women there are going to be picky, and won’t like the type of guy that has to go to singles events to meet women. So I’d pay money to go somewhere specifically to be rejected both casually and brutally over, and over, and over, and over again. Does that sound fun to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 02:18 PM
-1

I never got shade from the trees generations before mine planted. Hell, the generations before mine cut all the branches of any trees they planted, so there I no shade to speak of.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 03:57 AM
5

Sure, but that doesn’t change anything I said. I didn’t say it was society’s fault, did I? And no, adults get that too. I get that. Other guys get that. Even girls get that. People don’t say it to just children lol. Don’t be facetious. Although I’ll add, to get an understanding of dating and then evolve it, you kinda need to be able to get dates, no? I’ve only ever been on one, so I wouldn’t know.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 12:31 PM
10

Yes. Evidently you’ve never needed to get advice around this topic. “Be yourself” is a useless platitude 90% of people will tell you when you express frustrations and an inability to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 03:58 AM
-2

Cmon now, you and I both know he was talking about a 14-17 year age gap. Common sense and context clues make that clear. Why are you pretending otherwise?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 10:33 AM
1

Dating sucks in my opinion and experience. The very few dates I’ve managed to get, through a process that felt like skinning my balls, were from an app, so I like the apps more than I like modern dating. But dating is still a fucking mess and I still haven’t even held hands with a girl much less had a second date or a girlfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 06:48 AM
6

As someone constantly fighting to not be bitter and angry and depressed about it, it’s fucking hard not to be. Thing is you can be bitter and angry but not hateful. And, for fuck sake, it isn’t about not being able to get laid, not completely. It’s about total loneliness. Never being loved, never experiencing love or romance, not being desired by anybody and feeling inferior because of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 06:42 AM
2

I’d say it’s a fairly decent problem personally. I want a family. Most guys do. If I can’t get a family because of societal changes I’m going to die unhappy and probably too early.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 06:40 AM
–

A lot of men are undesirable, but imo we should make it easier for them (and for undesirable women) to become desirable. Everyone at least deserves the chance to find a partner if they’re not an asshole. More and more men becoming undesirable and unhappy about that just isn’t good for a society, and not for any doomer “they’ll rise up!” Bullshit but for the simple fact that we should be striving to help everyone be happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 09:05 AM
–

That’s certainly true for some, but my standards are very low. I have two. I have to like the girl as a person, and she can’t be fat (since I’m super skinny, seems reasonable to me) I basically just want a woman that I like that likes me
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 08:59 AM
0

If that’s what you want to think, sure. While physical attractiveness is important (to y’all too, y’all want an attractive man and won’t look at an ugly one in similar numbers to the men you mentioned) so is who a person is beyond superficiality, which was my general point about dating apps, which wasn’t a gender specific comment. I for one have one physical standard which is “don’t be fat” which I think is fair, since I’ve always been a toothpick.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 04:21 AM
-5

Isn’t that..kinda on you too for (at least theoretically) choosing the guy that would be a bad dad? I mean, there’s a lot that can be done to gauge how a person will be in certain situations (and ways to judge the truthfulness of those revelations too)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 03:22 AM
2

It’s not that we complain interactions are documented online, we’re complaining they’re documented online. It being online just removes everything else attraction is based on and makes it a game about looks, and reduces people down to their bare bones.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 02:36 AM
2

I take it as a sign that I’m just not “normal” for one thing. Normal people are able to attract a partner before they hit 25, or at least have some experiences. Me not having either happen means to me that I’m just not normal. I also see people with relationships and I just…want that. I just do. I understand it won’t immediately make me happy, but considering a solid 50% of my depression is over this I’d say it would help at least a bit, more than not having a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 02:13 PM
5

I mean, yeah. Men are hornier and get horny easily. There’s nothing wrong with that as long it’s respectful and not violent imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 09:45 AM
–

Strongly disagree here. Most of us seem more willing to settle from our ideal than women do. My one physical standard is “don’t be fat” because I’m toothpick skinny.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 09:44 AM
1

Eva use they consider all of us evil and somehow deserving of our loneliness. Not all of us are toxic misogynists, yet they always assume so.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 09:37 AM
2

So I can’t want a partner and to feel loved? That’s a bad thing to want? I’ve only gotten like this because I’ve gone 25 years without it, you can understand how that hurts right? To go your life without any interest, anyone finding you desirable in any way? Surely you can understand how much that sucks.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 09:33 AM
2

But they could have gotten with any other poor man. For a lot of these past relationships there had to have been an element of love in most cases for her to choose that man. You have a very depressing view of human relationships and history.!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 03:49 AM
3

I don’t think that’s fair to say. It’s only natural to want validation and to feel desired. I don’t overvalue them, I just recognize the value they do have (which extends beyond feeling desired) and know that I’ve never received it. This to me just sounds like bs to call lonely virgins misogynist.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 03:47 AM
2

That might be true, but I’d want my partner to have a sexual attraction to me as well since I have a high sex drive and would be sexually attracted to her. I wouldn’t want her thinking of another guy before our marriage, for example, like those videos of women calling exes right before their weddings.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 03:46 AM
3

Disagree, since a lot of women still say “attraction doesn’t matter” in so many posts on this sub and others, more so.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 06:14 PM
2

Considering the poor boys had families since the peasant class has always existed in history, this is false.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 06:11 PM
1

You’re completely discounting any love that could have been present among relationships in the past and assuming the woman never loved men back then, even if they had to be with them for financial reasons. Like love had no hand in it whatsoever.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 02:52 PM
1

Yeah that’s not why we pursue women lol. There’s no social pressure around that
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 02:49 PM
9

The question is whether a girl on “my level” wants to settle with someone on our level, instead of pining for someone on a “level” above hers, which I think will almost always be more likely.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 10:42 AM
10

I’m 25, and it isn’t really a thing in my experience. A lot of relationships these days start out through being friends or meeting online, through a dating app or other website. It isn’t so much being labeled a creep that deters us from just asking someone as it is the possibility of that happening, also the fear of it in general and women saying they hate that which deters us.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 10:36 AM
3

Sure is a problem for me. If I get left behind and never get the family I want I’m gonna be pissed
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 03:35 AM
7

Maybe because men and women are…different? And want different things out of our friendships? Crazy, I know.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 03:35 AM
9

Because OP is either asexual or aromantic, or being completely disingenuous here. The intimacy between friends and a partner is not the fucking same.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 03:34 AM
22

Disagree. Some of us actually like women as people, not just sexual prospects. I’d argue there’s more of us like that then otherwise. I hang out with my friends just fine. I’m still depressed because I’ve never known what love is like or so much as held hands with a girl.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 03:32 AM
1

Nobody saying men only do things for sex. I certainly don’t. But it’s more complicated than you make it out to be. Sex still matters even if we aren’t doing everything with the intent to have sex. It’s kinda about reciprocation. If I go into an exclusive relationship, the implicit expectation is there that we’re going to be having sex, because it’s exclusive and I have nobody else to do that with. And wouldn’t want anybody else for that, anyway. And we should be attracted to one another. So not …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 09:15 AM
11

I think it’s less how you’re describing it and more like him being frustrated he did a lot for her and yet the sec was infrequent and bad
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 11:54 AM
1

That same thing is true for a lot of western relationships, though. That’s just women.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 10:35 AM
–

I’ve heard it referred to as the Chaos Goblin Line Chef, their version of our Manic Pixie Dream Girl.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/24 11:12 PM
4

Yeah, I think this is one of the bigger fundamental differences between men and women. Men actually need to be in relationships more (at least feel the need) and I suspect at it’s root level it’s just that we have higher sex drives / it’s easier for us to get horny.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/24 10:40 PM
1

I understand I’m not entitled to dates. Never having dated and experienced love sucks, though. It’s depressing as hell, never being wanted. Society is supposed to guarantee our pursuit of happiness, so I’d say in some way at least it has a responsibility to ensure we can reach our goals and aspirations. For its own sake, too, since any society needs a growing population.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 04:37 PM
2

Yeah that’s fair. Personally I advocate for government sponsored classes that can help men like me with this, but that’s a separate point entirely.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 07:31 AM
1

Nobody is saying this. Yet you keep saying it like that’s what we’re dating should happen. On a societal level, these men need help to become more attractive to women. Or we should analyze why women don’t find them attractive and see if that’s the men’s fault, or the fault of the women’s expectations as influenced by social media and other societal factors (that isn’t saying “women’s fault” fyi, before you put words in my mouth) Flat out, you can’t have a stable society where men are in increasi…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 07:20 AM
1

I’d call a failure in dating where more men each year are just unable to find dates. I’m 25 and haven’t even held hands with a girl. That’s a fucking problem in my personal opinion. Each year there’s more men like me, and that’s not going to decrease any time soon as things get worse and worse. It’s not that I have to date people I don’t want to, I don’t even get to date at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 07:16 AM
1

I didn’t personally do that, and I’ve tried correcting that with my vote. That doesn’t mean I have to stay here where things are shit for me, though, instead of going somewhere the women might want me.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 07:10 AM
3

More and more each year the average guy is struggling to do those things. More and more incels every year, more and more perpetually single and sexless men. It takes more than just what you said evidently, but you’re a woman. You fundamentally can’t understand what it’s like for a guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 07:04 AM
2

We have sex drives that tend to be higher than yours. What’s wrong with that?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 06:57 AM
1

Yeah this is kinda how I see it. Women want change but don’t want to change themselves, and it hurts men in the long run. Frankly, with every passing day I think more and more that this whole “equality” experiment needs to end. I want a family one day.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 04:23 AM
2

Sure but the question arises - does he have as fulfilling a sex life?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 04:12 AM
2

I’d personally settle for telling us the actual reason we’re perpetually single and women don’t want us, that’s better than nothing 🤷‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 03:37 AM
1

Can’t wait until this leads to notable repercussions on a societal level. While true, this is by no means fair for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 03:34 AM
5

I don’t care, that’s still something while the average guy has to pull teeth to get close to that kind of attention. Y’all still have it easier.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 03:34 AM
0

If women want a provider and that’s the sole thing they look for, then frankly they shouldn’t make as much as men or work at all, period. That would even things out in the dating scene.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 04:20 AM
–

Fuck em. Be rude. Why care about them if they don’t care about us?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 05:40 AM
4

Eh. Men and women are different, and the stereotype is men are bad at sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 05:05 AM
7

I guess so, I just don’t really care for the pill dichotomy shit either way
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 04:43 AM
6

So far, yeah. But if it’s 0.1 and I just haven’t found that one in one thousand I don’t want to try anymore, fuck it all.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 03:30 AM
11

Yeah, I believe that, and it’s just not fair, but life isn’t either. Doesn’t mean we have to be happy or accept it, especially as that gets worse and worse for us.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 02:38 AM
16

So how do I not feel hurt by most women not wanting me? How do I not feel hurt that I’ve never had a girlfriend, and that no woman has desired me? If you haven’t experienced this, I don’t think you can understand it at all. It’s like I’m subhuman, denied a fundamental part of the human experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 02:23 AM
16

I go through periods of immense anger, bitterness and depression over this, and it tends to change my perspective. Most of the time I disagree with the red pill type ideas
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 02:22 AM
14

Tried by being friends, tried cold approaches, tried every app there is, none worked, all resulted in countless rejections. I don’t care to try anymore, it’s evident I just don’t have whatever it is that women like. I’m going to continue being angry about that, I think I have the right to be, but fuck them all, they don’t want or care about me so why should I care about them?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 02:21 AM
–

That but about 0.1% finding you attractive is why I gave up trying. It’s clear to me the majority of women aren’t going to like me, so why face that pain of rejection more than I already have? That shit hurts so god damn much, especially when you haven’t not known rejection.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 01:42 AM
1

I never said they have to be a slut or called them that, I’m not slut shaming here. You’re misinterpreting that quote. I’m not going to be able to tell if she’s slept with other guys in the first date or the third or what have you. But if I know she has (were being hypothetical here) and didn’t with me, it’s going to seem to me like she doesn’t like me as much. It’s really just that simple. I’m saying how I feel in a hypothetical. Fucking hell, im not “deciding she’s a slut”, you’re misunderstan…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 01:08 AM
1

If the relationship progresses, yeah, I’d try to get a feel for that eventually. Isn’t it normal to ask about exes? I’d open up about my own previous experiences to try and get her to do the same. Bottom line is I don’t want her to be less attracted to me than she has other dudes. Is it insecure? Yeah, it definitely is, I’m fucked up. Do I think it will stop me from getting my heart broken? Yeah, I think it could. I don’t want to be the guy she likes less compared to past partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 10:46 PM
1

If the relationship progresses, yeah, I’d try to get a feel for that eventually. Isn’t it normal to ask about exes? I’d open up about my own previous experiences to try and get her to do the same. Bottom line is I don’t want her to be less attracted to me than she has other dudes. Is it insecure? Yeah, it definitely is, I’m fucked up. Do I think it will stop me from getting my heart broken? Yeah, I think it could.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 10:46 PM
1

Not exactly, it would probably come out if I know her past and what her last relationships were like. I could probably also tell based on her enthusiasm
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 10:09 PM
-1

I’ve already explained why. To me, it seems like if she doesn’t sleep with me as soon as she did other guys, she doesn’t like me as much as those other guys. I don’t expect to know that, I just expect her to do it because she likes me as much or more than those other guys. If it comes out that she didn’t through conversation down the line, I’d contemplate leaving because it would feel like she wasn’t as attracted to me as she was other dudes before me - so she might be more likely to cheat or le…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 10:06 PM
-4

True, but if they’ve done it and the relationships have gone well, or they’ve done it for guys they only wanted for that, I’d want the same even if she wants a deeper relationship and I do too. Like I said, if she won’t but has before (and it’s worked out) then I’ll feel like she’s less attracted to me, and would probably leave me eventually for someone she’s more attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 05:36 PM
-7

Eh. If you’re a woman who’s had casual sex after 1-3 dates, I expect the same if you’ve done that before, otherwise I’ll think you don’t like me as much as those guys. Otherwise, if you haven’t slept around outside of committed relationships I’m fine waiting the same length as those other guys, even if it’s months.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 05:18 PM
5

I’d much rather take a “rizz” and “looksmax” class than use an ai tool to talk to women. I actually think classes like I said should exist for struggling dudes, me especially since at this point I think I’m incapable of figuring those things out myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 06:26 AM
3

Agreed with most of that, yeah. Except I myself also think I’m locked out of a “fundamental part of the human experience” since I haven’t gotten to date or do anything intimate with a girl. It’s complicated, and it’s tough being undesirable your whole life for sure. Some let it get to them and become hateful. I’m bitter and depressed, which I think is okay, but being hateful over it is never okay.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/24 08:27 PM
9

While true, a lot of us genuinely do want to date on top of have sex. I want to know I’m desirable enough for a woman to sleep with me, but I also want to know I’m likable enough for her to date me, too. Yeah I want to fuck, but I also really want to do all the classic boyfriend stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/24 03:48 PM
2

Dudes just have higher sex drives and get hornier more often and more easily, that doesn’t make us “sex obsessed”
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 05:10 PM
-2

Yep, it’s just world fallacy
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 03:51 AM
8

Sure, and the second they get a chance to lose their virginity the girl might lose whatever attraction she had if she learns he’s an adult virgin. She might not, but there’s also a good chance she does.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 03:14 PM
2

Of course not - this isn’t blaming them. I was just saying that the guys you talked about aren’t the guys the original commenter was talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 12:27 PM
2

Are you misunderstanding me? I’d do it, and never tell her. Even if she’s the love of my life and I trust her completely, I don’t want to be a statistic of men raising other men’s kids. I’d want to know without any doubt. Because women aren’t perfect, they’re human, and can be scumbags just like men.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 07:17 AM
-2

No. She’ll be emotional about it and fundamentally, as a woman, wouldn’t understand where I’m coming from.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 06:51 AM
2

See the thing is, those guys were guys capable of having options and getting into a relationship to begin with. They’re completely different to us, and the guys OOP is talking about in that comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 06:18 AM
2

Bad advice. For me, shrooms made me overthink about, quite literally, everything while I was tripping and for months afterward.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 06:17 AM
2

I don’t think we can, fundamentally. We’ll always be wanting, among other things, the validation from a king term partner, and among the other things associated with that, long-term access to sex. I think this is a way men and women fundamentally differ - they’re okay being single for prolonged periods, we aren’t. And tbh it boils down to us being hornier and easier to become horny, plain and simple.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 06:13 AM
4

I have zero problems lying about it. I never believed in god, but I’m literally praying I have it in me to become you. I don’t think I do fundamentally, but I want it all the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 06:08 AM
0

If I were to do it it wouldn’t be because I don’t trust my partner. Y’all have the privilege of knowing that baby is yours because it comes out of you. I’ve read too many stories of guys raising kids that aren’t really theirs and never knowing. I don’t want to fall into that statistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 06:05 AM
–

I don’t think society discriminated against me for being a guy. Unfair in a few ways sure. But I do believe in opting out completely. I feel like fundamentally the social contract between me and society was broken.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 06:03 AM
3

They’re not, but that isn’t at all what I was saying. If guy A knows guy B, guy B is a shithead and scummy, and guy B is with girl C who is attracted to him, guy A will know that B is scummy, and girl C often won’t because she’s attracted to him (usually because of the confidence and other traits that enable him to be an asshole and scummy). In my experience that’s how it is, at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 03:29 AM
1

On one hand for me at least it’s some insecurity, I don’t want a more experienced partner than me. Even if the sex is good she’ll be more likely to compare me negatively or positively to past partners, and I think that’s a bit unfair if they have more experience. On the other hand it’s a matter of values - I don’t think anyone should be hooking up at all morally, I think it sets you up for failure in future relationships in a lot of ways. Additionally, women are more likely to end relationships,…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 03:18 AM
7

Agreed that it’s proof the men that can have options can often be shit, but that’s the men who can have options. That isn’t most men. I think it’s also proof that most women go for the same 15-20% of dudes if they have the first choice. They don’t want to share the guy, but most of them end up liking the same group of those guys and outnumbering them.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 03:01 AM
4

While I agree for the most part, I definitely think guys are better at noticing how shitty a dude is than women are when they are already attracted to that guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 02:57 AM
3

It seems to be most women, so I for one do care 🤷‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 02:55 AM
1

It’s not just that, her reaction would be most peoples immediate reaction outside of dating. You lose friends, relatives, you can lose your job and future opportunities. That’s effectively ruining somebody’s life.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 02:36 PM
12

While I agree that it’s more rare than people pretend, this comment also perfectly illustrates how it ruins the lives of people who genuinely are falsely accused
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 10:03 AM
4

The answer for 2 is so she can find another guy to live off of.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 04:30 AM
8

Well for starters, while dating can be hard for y’all it’s usually harder for us. In HS there’s less expectations and all of that stuff so it’s easier to get experience - which is crucial for developing early confidence and competence imo. And y’all tend to like guys who are experienced.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 03:37 AM
3

Sure, but that’s not the case for the vast majority of people. It just isn’t. So while it might work for you long-term (and statistically, it won’t) it isn’t going to be most peoples thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 03:58 AM
1

Sure, I’m just saying that “love” and “sex” seem to be things women are fine going without, so just offering those isn’t enough either.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 12:45 PM
3

That’s true, and I wasn’t saying we should just do nothing and wait for you guys to instruct us - I was just saying it’s unfair to expect us to do it right immediately. We aren’t mindreaders and we don’t have the same parts, so we’re unfamiliar with them in comparison.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 12:43 PM
15

It’s hard not to come off like that when you are, and it’s hard not to be when you don’t have / never had options in your life.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 09:17 AM
2

Starving man. My single physical standard is “don’t be fat” but as long as I like your personality and you like mine (and actually like me physically) then it’s good, I’d pursue that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 07:31 AM
3

Compatibility doesn’t make us mind readers and know automatically what y’all like. Y’all are all different and like different things. Just because we’re compatible doesn’t mean we’ll immediately understand what you want. It’s fairly simple. This is frankly nuts to me. I wouldn’t expect a girl to immediately know how I like to get head just because we’re compatible.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 07:21 AM
2

You aren’t getting it. I was referring more to the first few sexual experiences more so than later ones. Even in those first few women tend to be bad at giving direction or indication of what they like or want.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 07:05 AM
2

Can’t speak for all guys, but if I’m dating a girl who slept with guys on the first date, I’ll kind of expect that too. Otherwise I’ll think she isn’t as attracted to me as she was those other guys. If she had a hookup before, I’d expect to be the kind of guy she’d had a hookup with, even though that’s not my thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 06:50 AM
4

Problem is we aren’t mind readers, we need to know what you like before we can start just doing it. Otherwise it’s like hoping we’re doing good and that y’all aren’t faking it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 06:47 AM
–

I won’t turn to hate but I’m never going to just accept it. Fuck that. We’re social creatures, wanting love and intimacy is both natural and normal. I’ll never accept the lack of both. And if it’s a societal problem in some way meaning I can’t get both, I’ll want to change that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 06:35 AM
3

Flat out, platonic love can’t substitute romantic love. It just can’t. It’s nowhere near as validating, nowhere near as loving and nowhere near as intimate. I’d rather have romantic love and no platonic friendships than the other way around.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 06:29 AM
1

I don’t want power, I do want empathy. More than that I just want to be the type of guy girls like. I definitely think that would have been easier for me a good 30 or 40 years ago. Does that mean society should regress that far? No. It just means something had to be done to give guys like me a leg up, since we seem incapable of doing that ourselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 06:26 AM
2

Agreed with this, but also women tend to think most guys are unattractive immediately and tend to overrate other women and themselves, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 04:46 AM
1

Frankly women seem to enjoy singleness and being alright with that than guys do. I think it’s a way we fundamentally differ. Women tend to be okay with staying single for a decade and not having sex. Majority of guys would hate those two things.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 04:43 AM
2

Kinda how I see it. I want a family one day, and every day it looks less and less like I’ll be able to have one eventually. If I can’t have a family, I don’t see a purpose in putting any effort or care into society. Because fundamentally my social contract was broken imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 04:40 AM
2

Yes, but in my experience they can’t help with social anxiety and being poorly socialized in your younger years - they just can’t. Also in my experience, there’s little a therapist can do either, and I’ve tried a few before giving up. It isn’t about psychological trauma 99% of the time when it comes to social anxiety, tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 08:45 PM
9

Let’s be honest - there’s very little family and friends can do to help with that. A therapist might be able to help, but it’s just as likely they give empty platitudes and there’s no actual progress. Life coaches are even harder to come by then therapists, and might be more expensive.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 08:33 PM
1

I can understand that, but it sure feels like when you miss you shoot yourself in the foot.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 10:03 AM
2

Agreed that fear of being falsely accused of SH is stupid. Disagree on fear of rejection. For me at least, it’s always been worse than a bad job interview. Feels far more personal, especially as the rejections mount up seemingly ceaselessly.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 09:59 AM
1

It isn’t gendered, I clarified in an edit that it can happen to women too, you might not have seen that though. I’m just saying that me being worried about that doesn’t mean I’m not fun, like you initially asked. It just means I’m worried about a girl getting with me not because she finds me fun but because she finds me safe, but boring. Basically “I wouldn’t have dated you in my 20s, but now I’m 30, out of options and will now choose you.” I don’t want that. I want someone who would have chosen…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 02:50 AM
–

Agree and disagree. Yeah, constant self improvement is a virtue, but if it has no benefit to me in the areas I’m lacking and want it to benefit me then this becomes hollow advice imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 02:45 AM
2

I’d like not to be. You aren’t understanding that someone being “safe and boring” to one girl can also be the “first choice, actually attracted to” guy for another. I don’t want to end up being the former because I get with the wrong girl. You’re also completely misunderstanding me. I don’t want or expect people to treat me like a “inspiring sex god”, I don’t have the ego for that. I just want the girl I marry to actually be attracted to me and choose me as her first option, not her second or th…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 02:26 AM
3

“Fun” means fucking around, casual sex. Which while I personally dislike for me, I wouldn’t want to be with a girl who wouldn’t have chosen me for that as well as for a relationship. It would be like an indicator she’s less attracted to me then other guys she’s been with and is settling for me because I’m the safe, but boring option. That’s the whole fundamental point of my comment that you’re missing.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 11:26 PM
7

Why the dead bedroom for the one? As for the other, why couldn’t she ever do the approaching?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 09:14 AM
66

Eh. I want a partner to build a life with, I don’t want to sleep around really. I don’t want to be the “safe and secure” guy she turns to after having her fun with other guys, though, and by that I mean I don’t want to be the second, back-up choice she wouldn’t have also chosen for that fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 02:59 AM
–

Women do the same when it comes to attraction and considering dating someone, which is exactly what I was saying. I never said those were my standards to at least befriend someone. Since when are standards for a relationship partner a bad thing? Y’all say standards are good all the time
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 10:47 AM
–

I already explained to someone else the unspoken caveat is if I have to like her for who she is as a person, too, but I figured that wouldn’t have to be said. I was speaking specifically about physical standards, which is why I specified after that I find most women that aren’t overweight attractive in some way or another. Besides that, I thought people were supposed to have standards, I just listed my physical standard, which I thought was relevant given the context of this whole thread. You’re…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 10:33 AM
–

That’s true, which is why I’m actively working on being more athletic-skinny, like a soccer players physique. I just don’t gain weight easily because of my metabolism and some medical conditions. I already have visible abs though because of my low body fat so there’s that at least, I just have to develop them a little more for definition.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 10:12 AM
–

Speaking as a guy like that (not to every degree you mentioned) it isn’t about her doing things for me. I don’t want a maid or another mom. I want a partner and companionship, and to know what being loved feels like.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 10:07 AM
–

Yeah, I can see that. I’m toothpick skinny though so I think it’s fair for me at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 10:02 AM
–

That’s being disingenuous. That’s my one physical standard because for non-obese women, like I said, I almost always find something about them physically attractive. The caveat that I thought could be unspoken is that I have to like who they are to consider dating them.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 09:40 AM
–

That’s not really how it goes. I complain about my perpetual singleness, I admit, but I don’t go for models lol. My one physical standard is “don’t be fat” because besides that, I find most women attractive in some way. But regardless, even women you’d probably consider plain aren’t interested. That isn’t saying it’s their fault they aren’t, that’s just saying I don’t go for models and most guys like me don’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 09:17 AM
–

I agree, but it goes beyond overweight men. They consider a lot, and I’d go so far as to say most, skinny or healthy BMI guys unattractive too.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 09:15 AM
–

Everyone can have their standards. I’m also allowed to be upset with those standards and afraid they’ll exclude me imo. Regardless I actually agreed with a lot of what you said so this was a decent enough discussion for this sub
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 08:08 PM
–

I’m a realist too, which is why I acknowledge most people end up poor even if they’re technically middle class and I accept the possibility that, though I’m still young, that might include me when I’m in my 30s.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 08:01 PM
–

Please, most women I’ve known that were pregnant were far from immobile for all 9 months of their pregnancy. Are some women that endured by it? Yeah of course. Most? I frankly doubt it. Besides that, there are plenty of relationships today where the woman isn’t holding men up to a higher standard than what’s close to average and they survive a pregnancy on his 50k-60k income and her, likely since we’re talking average here, equal income if not less on one end or another. Y’all just don’t realize…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 07:48 PM
2

I can agree with that, but you’re also assuming every one of those guys turns to the manosphere. The manosphere itself is pretty predatory in how it tries to lure in those guys. I’ve been victim to it myself before and had to get out of it because I realized how toxic it is. I wish there was a good, more progressive counter to it - something equally empathetic but with better answers. That’s why I and guys like me turn to it at one point or another, because it can feel like a place where people …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 08:08 AM
10

You understand this isn’t my post, yeah? And I can understand people expect me to be one way given the circumstances of my life and inability to date. I know that’s gonna happen, I can also bemoan that knowledge and say that it’s unfair because, in my shoes, it certainly is. And does nothing but further exacerbate my inability to date. Feels a bit like needing experience in a career in order to get an entry level position in that career. In this case, it’s like needing to have dated women to pro…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 06:45 AM
16

We can, agreed, it seems from my end that a lot of people often just don’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 05:00 AM
24

I personally dislike the automatic assumption a lot of people have that those guys must be misogynists or must be awful people in some other way and that explains their dating issues, which was the point of my comment. That only perpetuates someone’s struggle if they’re automatically assumed to be a bad person. Regardless of that, we also have a right to voice our upset about that struggle, and it’s normal to be upset about it. The want for a partner is not only a natural human desire but can so…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 02:46 AM
15

There’s the assumption that OP and guys like OP must be the shitbag you’re talking about. Newsflash sweetie, but not every lonely struggling guy turns to those kinds of shitbag ideas. You assume every guy like that does, when that’s just not true. You generalize and that just further exacerbated the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 08:32 PM
94

Yeah people are nuts. I hate the rhetoric and assumption that every lonely guy must be a vile woman hating incel. It’s just world fallacy. You can be a good person and never date because you don’t have it that women like. You can be an awful person but have it and get more women than you know what to do with. The world isn’t just or fair like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 08:30 PM
1

I understand this. I was being a little disingenuous and implying that while girls do this, guys don’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 06:36 AM
6

Yeah, but I don’t expect them to admit that
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 04:27 AM
1

Don’t care. I’ve always wanted my own family. If I’m doomed to die without one in this shithole country then I’m leaving.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 03:09 AM
1

Yeah fuck all of that. I’m not “going extinct” happily.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 02:51 AM
5

I find this idea so fascinating. Why does it matter he only makes 50k? To most guys, it wouldn’t matter at all as long as they like the girl.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 02:44 AM
2

Never been in that situation, but it could be a self esteem thing. They feel shitty and overwhelmed and are questioning their self worth (even if this is all subconscious) so they don’t feel worthy to have a good partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 08:11 PM
3

Attraction isn’t shallow really, it’s baseline and goes unspoken. Like, duh, you have to find your partner attractive. It’s just that different people find different things attractive so there isn’t really one sole means to be attractive. Regardless of that I was making a point about men and women and implying men don’t care about the woman’s career like women do about a man’s.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 03:48 PM
2

Whereas guys would be okay with that if they liked the girl 🤷‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 02:42 PM
6

While that’s true, we can do a lot to incentivize men going to college more. Getting rid of the now unnecessary aid that women get would help with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 01:34 PM
–

We also don’t expect pussy just for being nice, like people love to say. We’re just told it’s the bare minimum, so we are, but we’re then shown it doesn’t actually matter. Yet we’re nice anyway. At least I am.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 12:56 PM
-1

Second time I’ve seen “not obsessed with sex” here. Is there a difference, to you, between being “obsessed” with sex versus just…wanting to have sex and it being important to someone?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 08:37 AM
2

He probably thinks it’s more likely for her to cheat
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 08:10 AM
2

Yes. I’d have more of a problem if she did that with previous partners but not me.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 08:04 AM
5

Yeah I kinda agree. I don’t want to be the chump she’s less attracted to, I want to be the guy she immediately likes, but that’s in a perfect world.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 08:52 AM
1

I would literally kill someone if it meant I could be attractive
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 05:12 AM
1

This is what I’m afraid of. Dating a girl who doesn’t find me as attractive as her previous partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 03:24 AM
1

What about hot asshole vs ugly decent - good dude? Cus I see that one a lot
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 03:19 AM
1

Yeah, cus I can magically have a lot of options. I can’t even get one option brother
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 03:18 AM
2

Yeah, I fully admit it’s for my own validation. I’m insecure, and I’ve never gotten that kind of validation before. I’m trying to say I want to be attractive enough that a girl I’m with would have hooked up with me, I want to be “hook up material” for her because to me, that means I’m extremely attractive for her. Look, I know it’s not the healthiest mindset, I just want to know a girl I might end up with is actually attracted to me for my body as well as my personality, because so far I haven’t…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/24 04:54 PM
2

There’s a few ways I could. Again though, I’m not a hookup guy, it isn’t my thing. If she tells me something like “you’re husband material but not hookup material” like that recent Reddit thread that blew up I’d know. I imagine I could tell by how enthusiastic she is when we’re intimate, if I can tell she genuinely desires me, but what do I know. Basically I’m afraid to enter a relationship where she doesn’t find me attractive like I would her and one where she doesn’t find me on the same levels…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/24 04:42 PM
1

Sorry, I’m struggling to understand. I am a litttle sleep deprived after all. It seems like we’re actually saying the same thing, doesn’t it? You’re saying a guy you’d date has to be as attractive as someone you’d have hooked up with, or m saying any girl I date would also have been someone I’d hook up with (if that was my thing), aren’t those the same things? I can understand some guys think the same way you describe in that second part, but I wouldn’t expect sex or want it before I date a girl…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/24 03:34 PM
–

Agreed completely. Everyone has different tastes, though. What I’m describing isn’t someone expecting the foreign women to be different fundamentally from his home women, he’s just hoping for whatever reasons he has better luck finding a partner there than at home. Maybe a better analogy is a bar. If nobody at one bar likes you, you might go to another bar and see if someone there does. That doesn’t mean the people at the second bar are lesser in any way to the first, you’re just trying your luc…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/24 01:00 PM
–

Ah okay. I was trying to convey it more like, idk, going to a different pond to fish because the one you’re at has no fish to catch (horrible analogy but I couldn’t think of a better one), like there’s no difference between the fish other than the fish in the other pond might find your fishing style appealing. To me, at least in the way I was trying to phrase my comments, that doesn’t imply a difference in the fish themselves, maybe their taste if anything, it’s just a means with which to try yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/24 12:09 PM
–

Just curious, I don’t want to come off as argumentative here. What makes that prejudiced if they think nobody in their country will go for them (despite routine effort?) or at least their state / region.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/24 10:21 AM
–

Sorry, I think you misinterpreted me or I misspoke (I work nights so I’m tired all the time) but I meant they can’t find anyone that likes them in their country despite trying (so it isn’t an inability to find someone they like but an inability to find someone that likes them) and they aren’t going under the belief and desire to find a “submissive” woman. Basically saying they think girls at home don’t like them for whatever reason so they’re looking for other fish in the sea that might. I was a…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/24 09:48 AM
2

I’m certainly afraid of becoming like this. I’ll definitely feel jealous if my eventual girlfriend has more experience than me, and yes, I know it’s irrational. I don’t even like casual sex from the one time I experienced it, I just want to experience a variety of relationships or at least one very strong one. Idk, it’s something I want to work on avoiding and a line of thought I want to get out of.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/24 07:21 AM
–

What about if they just can’t find a partner in their home country and think they’d have better luck elsewhere? Assuming it isn’t a stupid belief they’d be more submissive or what have you (so excluding anything predatory, just “women here don’t seem to want me, maybe they will elsewhere”) Or is that the inherently predatory in a way I’m not seeing?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/24 07:08 AM
1

I can understand all of that and don’t think any of that is a a bad thing. I don’t think that means I can’t be frustrated, bitter or depressed at my inability to adapt, like you say we should. (With the caveat that that anger, bitterness and depression doesn’t turn into woman hating, which it so often does for too many dudes) That isn’t me saying I’m entitled to a woman’s love or should be given it, I’m just simply upset I’m not good enough to receive it and don’t know how to be. I can’t press a…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/24 07:01 AM
2

I can understand that. It’s just, from my perspective at least, it feels like that means she isn’t as attracted to us as she was the hookup guy. We want, preferably, to be someone she’d pursue a LTR with and a hookup with, we want to be attractive enough for her to desire sex like in a hookup with us and her to genuinely like us enough to be interested in a real relationship. Because any girl we’d date we’d also have had a hookup with (if that’s our thing - it isn’t mine, but I’d still consider …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/24 06:58 AM
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