| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 43 | Looking for advice on dating younger | TheVampiressReturns | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/20 10:27 AM | |
| 25 | Strategic help for attending the symphony solo | SEEKING ADVICE | TheVampiressReturns | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/12/19 05:57 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 6 | Why Good Women Are Losing On Dating AppsSeconding the attractiveness of Dutch men ❤️ I have an online male friend who looks straight outta GQ. When he shared a pic taken with another friend...another clean-cut cutie (he looked like he stepped out of 1957 with his boyish good looks and dapper hair). I have a strong preference for Nordics (was with a Finn for a time) but I certainly wouldn’t pass on the Dutchies! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/09/20 09:01 AM |
| 7 | FDS approved movie recommendations?Maybe this is why it’s long been in my top ten. I’d also like to propose Steel Magnolias. It was really about the struggles and bonds of a group of women while the male characters were mere ancillary characters to the plot. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/20 07:20 AM |
| 42 | Imagine being so insecure you can’t event hold a conversationNow that I think about it...🤔 Neither have I! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/07/20 11:41 PM |
| 1 | Amen! Anyone else got any similar stories?Your nipples still being puffy is proof positive that this guy was talking out his ass. As a fellow puffy nipple owner at 35, there’s nothing for you to be ashamed of. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/20 12:24 PM |
| 1 | Amen! Anyone else got any similar stories?Men who say this shit want “petite”. So 5’5 (my own height) is not short enough to stroke their porn-driven preference for tiny young women. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/20 11:39 AM |
| 13 | Block his assI don’t even have to tell them about my psych degree. It’s like they instinctively pick up on my empathetic traits to exploit for their own selfish benefit. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/06/20 12:37 AM |
| 9 | Guys would use my tip to make their dinner cheaperOne way to prevent this with shitty/ no tippers of any established or budding relationship status is to go back and sneak the tip (or directly hand it to the waiter-cash is better when you’re working for as little as $2.13 p/h). I always insist on getting the tip (even if splitting, say, with friends). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/06/20 12:32 AM |
| 7 | A little levity but entirely HVM behavior lol.Just with the one eye open :P | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/06/20 11:58 PM |
| 16 | A little levity but entirely HVM behavior lol.I like like the way she thinks! 🤣 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/06/20 11:56 PM |
| -5 | “You’re either with us or trying to get inside them!”“Male” media narratives? Multiple psychologists, psychiatrists (male and female), as well as actual Narcissists have pegged her as one based on her actions and personality traits that fit the criteria according to the DSM. From the first time I saw her smug mug on the cover on a mag, I clocked her as one, as I’ve been personally involved with many Narcs, both familial and romantically. Narcissists are not just male nor do they seek treatment. I am friends with a Bobby for the London Metro who pe… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/05/20 03:41 PM |
| 1 | People can and do change for the better. The odds a man will? Low. Here’s the catch and why you shouldn’t bet on a Low Value Man changing.You called it. My life may have not gone the way I expected, but I’ve obtained a bachelor’s, ran my own business, and visited other countries. And made an early, active choice not to have children. He’s still “stuck” and I suspect sees me as his “come up”. Not happening. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/04/20 06:54 AM |
| 16 | People can and do change for the better. The odds a man will? Low. Here’s the catch and why you shouldn’t bet on a Low Value Man changing.Very pertinent to my life right now. My first boyfriend has recently contacted me, atoned for his prior treatment, but has also been using me as an unpaid therapist and a way to stave off his boredom. I don’t believe he’s legitimately seen the error of his ways and still sees me as the young moony-eyed and confused pickmeisha that I once was. He’s still the immature, narcissistic ass he always was, now with two kids/baby mamas and living back home with his parents. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/04/20 05:42 AM |
| 4 | Porn needs to start being shamed again. Don’t call it natural. Don’t accept it. Make a contemptuous and disgusted face when you see a guy talk about it, or a woman support her SO’s porn habits.I think we both did, sis. And given that they’re both in our rear view mirror, I’d say we’re better off than still being with sexually degrading pornsick d!ckheads. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/04/20 02:21 PM |
| 16 | Feeling the whole “Lord grant me the confidence of a mediocre man” today.Truth. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/04/20 09:42 AM |
| 12 | Porn needs to start being shamed again. Don’t call it natural. Don’t accept it. Make a contemptuous and disgusted face when you see a guy talk about it, or a woman support her SO’s porn habits.An ex once had me orally please him while he watched porn. Told him afterward that it made me feel like shit and relegated to a fleshlight. That elicited an angry response, as if I had told him during the act, he wouldn’t have raged at that, too. Walked away from that POS, no warning, just walked away. He still stalks me on social media when the opportunity presents itself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/04/20 09:16 AM |
| 7 | This guy who I met doesn’t believe a girl like me could have anixety or other mental illnesses simply because he thinks I’m attractive.Finally! Someone pointing out that you shouldn’t reveal something as personal as mental illness(es) until you know for a fact that they are truly invested, caring, understanding, etc. That kind of disclosure takes time and trust. I’m not advocating for being superficial, but expose your weaknesses right away and you come off as weak, unstable, and undesirable. And, as the person above mentioned, a prime target for predators and/or Cluster B’s. Don’t lay your mental sh!t out right away. That’s ju… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/04/20 04:21 AM |
| 43 | sneak peak into the realities of a pickmeishaMy ex is like this! I’d be having a conversation with myself, no input from him unless it was to argue. I’d point it out and I’d get “I’m not a good conversationalist.” Oh, really? So what is it that you do when you’re bellied up to the bar with your buddies after work? Grunt at each other!? Ugh. My requirement list gets longer and longer. Don’t be a barfly and be able to hold an actual conversation among them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/03/20 01:37 AM |
| 4 | Choices... The Pickmesha and Corona Virus editionYes; both my mother and the Matrinarc I call a grandmother are firm believers in your husbands coming before your children. I was immediately thrown over for my abusive stepfather, just as my own mother had been for hers. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/03/20 03:56 PM |
| 4 | Cyber cheating is real 😆You’re killing me 🤣 Most humorous description of polyvangelists I’ve read! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/03/20 02:03 PM |
| 7 | How do you distinguish the fine line between settling and making a mature decision to be with someone despite their flaws?Leaving a crumb-laden dish was a clear indication that my ex-Narc expected me to fall into line as his domestic slave. Not always the case, but something to consider. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/03/20 08:10 AM |
| 20 | Women have the Trump Card and men know it.Dead-on. No use explaining to them what they did wrong, they won’t change. But, damn, does it ever deflate their egos when you’re onto their bullshit and walk away without a peep! Works like a charm. Be extra stealthy and as I’ve recommended in the past, bolt the door. The bastard won’t know what hit him and you indeed will have the upper hand. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/03/20 08:01 AM |
| 27 | NO EXCUSES - Date Multiple Men Until Commitment is EstablishedI have to disagree (as a former bartender) about sports bars, unless you are a sports enthusiast as well. Even allowing for that...a sports fanatic barfly makes for a terrible partner. They will prioritize their “hangout” over you and flirt/lust after waitresses and bartenders in your absence (and sadly, often in your presence.) The men that frequently inhabit the bar scene (even in the country club where I worked) are looking for something. 9/10, other women. I wish I could count how many times… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/03/20 07:54 AM |
| 7 | Everyone, I'm a florist and this is HELLAnd to think, floral arrangement used to be a “dream” job for me. Rather like those who haven’t ever served in a restaurant on Valentine’s Day. Sheer hell. So much for that little fantasy... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/20 01:17 AM |
| 19 | HOLY SHIT! FDS made the Wall Street Journal!I was hoping this sub would blow up-and we have! Years ago, I watched the “pornification” of our culture as an uneasy teenager and young adult. I said no to porn in my first LT relationship while the empowered Cool Girls and Pickmeisha’s were bragging in unison about not minding their men seeking out sexual gratification from viewing other women. To object to it in any form was to be immediately shut-down and alienated. The common refrain was that strip clubs, breasturaunts, and porn were harmle… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/20 05:34 PM |
| 11 | Why men are the one who must pay for datesToo true. When I think of the hassle of it all, continued self-imposed singledom is a relief. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/20 06:35 AM |
| 1 | A cautionary tale of an “abuse victim” who was, in reality, a sexually abusive manipulator.Well, I’m glad you were able to help the few who actually wished to use therapy as a tool for improvement. The others sound like those frustrating friends who stay and constantly complain, with no intention of ever taking any actions to rectify their situation(s). I’d like to implement both Family Systems and Trauma Systems Therapy, but perhaps it would wise to avoid specializing in Women’s Issues, after what you described. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/02/20 11:57 PM |
| 1 | A cautionary tale of an “abuse victim” who was, in reality, a sexually abusive manipulator.I keep reading counseling sessions similar to this one and it really makes me wonder if I could possibly hack it as a Licensed Independent Social Worker. More and more, the answer is no. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/02/20 09:38 AM |
| 34 | Do not let men lovebomb you.In my experience, they’ll start negging-doing anything they can to drag down your self-esteem. Suddenly you find yourself paranoid about every single aspect of your appearance-because, after all-that’s where all your “worth” and “value” lie in their eyes. Any flaws are suddenly magnified and under intense scrutiny. You can never have an “off” day, but then you’ll conversely be blamed for being vain and/or self-conscious for trying to maintain an impossible standard. I call it “pedestal syndrome”… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/20 02:20 AM |
| 4 | Do not let men lovebomb you.Ignoring and acting cold and distant doesn’t work, I find. It drives them insane because now you are unattainable and even more desirable and they MUST have you. Blocking, maybe. If they can’t manage to get at you through any other outlet. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/20 01:57 AM |
| 1 | You guys are like a mother figure to me, I love this subreddit cause my mom never taught me any of thisI’m thinking that perhaps cultural differences and belief systems may be coming into play here and I don’t wish to engage further as I don’t see the point. We fundamentally disagree and I’m going to leave it at that. Just happy that the OP has found this community helpful and is benefiting from it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/20 06:56 AM |
| 2 | You guys are like a mother figure to me, I love this subreddit cause my mom never taught me any of thisHow do you know for a fact that her mother loves her? When someone says that they have a Narcissist for a mother who outright hated her and left her to fend for herself growing up, do you honestly think this is helpful, supportive, in any way sisterly? Just because you are okay with having had a mother who “sucked” doesn’t mean that OP should feel similarly about her hateful Narcissist of a mother. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/01/20 05:07 AM |
| 1 | You are my people! I feel like I can finally tell my fucked up reddit storyI’m envious! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/01/20 03:58 PM |
| 6 | Please alert your fellow woman!It’s a dead giveaway that he cheated/is cheating/is planning to cheat if she can’t shut up how AMAZING he is. Studies actually back this up. No one who is secure in their relationship needs to constantly remind everyone how incredible it is. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/20 08:16 PM |
| 7 | Please alert your fellow woman!It’s a dead giveaway that he cheated/is cheating/is planning to cheat if she can’t shut up how AMAZING he is. Studies actually back this up. No one who is secure in their relationship needs to constantly remind everyone how incredible it is. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/20 08:15 PM |
| 9 | Older men who pursue girls in their late teens and early 20s are predatoryFetlife is teeming with this sick entitlement-older men always on the lookout for fresh meat and primarily (or solely) friending and following 18-22 year olds. I’m reminded of one former “friend” who constantly haunted (and no doubt, still does) the Novices and Newbies group, bestowing his so-called wisdom out of faux concern to the uninitiated. The community validates and reinforces this behavior and I can’t even bring myself to participate at this point. It requires constantly turning a blind … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/01/20 05:27 PM |
| 12 | Does anyone else feel like FDS plays a significant role in your life at this point?I’m addicted! I no longer have tolerance for men who use and disrespect me nor the desire to see whatever manipulative assholery they have cooked up in order to try drag me back in or get ego stroked. FDS has given me added strength in my conviction ✊ There are sooo many women who need support and encouragement to walk from toxic men. I hope to see this sub explode! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/12/19 05:46 AM |
| 17 | New Year's Resolution : Drop your pickmeisha friends.You’ve effectively summarized everything that I despise about Life Coaches. Anyone can hang out a shingle and dispense their “wisdom” while financially exploiting the vulnerable and/or mentally ill by posturing themselves as mental health care professionals. The fact that many unethical, unqualified hucksters are permitted to “practice” is both baffling and enraging. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/12/19 07:17 PM |
| 6 | Is it just me , or does she sound like a pick me?“There are plenty of women in this group who are, like, 30 or OLDER and I don’t want to sound harsh [as you collectively shit on single older women who dare to push back against toxic masculinity] but maybe these women wouldn’t STILL be single if they asked themselves, for once, what they were bringing to the table, aside from...being a woman, I guess?” I want an update, when she’s past THIRTY 🙄, is resentfully raising Liam’s children, cleaning his shit splatters off the toilet, and washing his … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/19 02:04 PM |
| 8 | Strategic help for attending the symphony soloThank you 💛 I certainly hope so! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/12/19 08:11 PM |
| 10 | Strategic help for attending the symphony soloThank you, I needed that! Congrats on your decision to step out solo! I understand what you mean about dresses-I’ve passed on many gorgeous gowns in the past, thinking “When/where will I get the opportunity to wear this?” It’s sad that dressing down is new norm, so much that we seriously question ourselves when it comes to erring on the side of “too formal”. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/12/19 08:10 PM |
| 2 | Strategic help for attending the symphony soloThis is exactly what I was looking for-advice from someone is well-acquainted with the territory. I did worry that being glammed-up will come off as too try-hard and that it will be couples only attending. What you said about puffy coats and jeans 😑 I’ve been taken to upscale restaurants and have seen people in shorts and flip flops amongst other patrons dressed to the nines. Just one example of many. I’m just not the “dress like you’re going into Walmart” type for dates, special occasions, fune… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/12/19 08:03 PM |
| 2 | "You're lucky to have me" and other things arrogant douchebags say“You have to trust me.” Or alternatively, “I’m a honest person.” Trustworthiness is a trait that is self-evident through actions, not words or self-proclamations. If you have to tell me you’re trustworthy, you’re most assuredly not. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/12/19 01:44 PM |
| 14 | Always look up your matches before you get too committed!I’ve learned that paying for a background check (along with Googling) is an unfortunate but necessary measure in ensuring that I don’t end with a lying, cheating, POS. Lying about age is the number one red flag that has consistently been the initial tip-off to a litany of other, more insidious deceptions. Never take a man at his word. Privately vet his ass before you even put one foot forth. And if you do detect that he isn’t who who he purports to be? RUN, don’t walk. No second chances. Bolt th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/12/19 07:13 AM |
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