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Thedude1217 Archive

View 3 posts and 26 comments by Thedude1217 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

Thedude1217/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 06:17 PM
3

Thedude1217/r/Divorce_Men31/05/25 11:38 AM
3

Thedude1217/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 07:58 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Yes. I feel like I may as well have not even gone with the way it went. I provided so much to prove I am an active involved parent but in my area they just prefer moms especially stahm so it never mattered at all I learned
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/25 10:41 AM
2

Just chiming in. I’d deployed one time when ex and I had one child. Left the military after second child came. Been out for YEARS by the time we got divorced. That one year of deployment heavily weighed on the 2 judges we saw and they felt that she was obviously the primary parent and I was basically punished for serving. Even though I left the military for our kids and to be with them it didn’t matter. Punished for having a job, financially supporting the family, paying off multiple houses and …
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 01:26 AM
1

If you have a successful business be ready for her taking half of it and any money you have in every account you have plus child support and alimony. Unless she is some gem who will speak on not wanting these types of things but a lot of the time once a lawyer tells them what they can have it’s what they want. It didn’t matter in my divorce I was the only one who financially contributed she took everything and then some. Also agree with other posters do not get involved with anyone until after d…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/25 02:23 AM
1

I really hope for the best in your situation. My ex did the same thing asking for full custody. I’ve never drank, no drugs, no abuse no nothing. She was a stahm and I worked that’s it. I went in to all this thinking the same thing there’s no reason for my kids to not be with me 50/50. I said it was their best interest to see both of us. Little did I know being a stahm meant the court loves the status quo so they kept it. Giving me 2 nights every week, plus the child support and alimony for half …
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/25 05:29 PM
1

Sorry about your situation, but with her not working custody could go in her favor. Your monthly benefit income will be taken into account for child support unless she is nice enough to ask it not to be, but doesn’t seem likely. Also in my personal experience the court looked down on my military career basically making me out to be too rigid and structured. So whatever you say in court make sure everything is child centered and in their best interest. That you can be flexible as well. I was tryi…
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 09:54 AM
1

Since you don’t have kids I’d get your divorce settled and move back where you have support
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/25 08:21 AM
5

Agreed with other posters don’t sign away. You’re entitled to 50/50 of all assets including her 401k plus very likely alimony for years after that long of a marriage and she knows it. You could even request she pay your lawyer fees and may at least get a portion paid for in the end
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/25 01:43 AM
1

Just make sure you tell her you’ve been in talks with a lawyer and do not agree with what has been discussed in mediation. Or whatever your lawyer advises about filing. Won’t want to have it come off as bad faith considering you are in mediation
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/25 05:53 PM
2

On the one hand I understand where you’re coming from wanting to get it over quickly but if you take it to court you’ll fair far better financially, but obviously will be months of back and forth and paying lawyer fees. She may have to pay yours or a partial amount depending how it’s paid for initially. Plus with court most likely you will be labeled the primary parent, could get more custody, tiebreaker etc. she’s kind of in a lose lose based on my experience with a stay at home parent. You’ll …
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/25 05:50 PM
1

MD
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 08:05 PM
2

What state is this? In my state there has to be substantial change in circumstances for a judge to even consider a modification. Crazy she is getting away with this over seemingly petty things and he’s paying for it
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 04:32 AM
1

I want to be supportive and tell you it’s so much better after leaving. Some aspects sure you’d have freedom to be happy. But that’s exactly what I did and I’ve basically lost everything. More than 50% of my take home goes to her, she has full custody and tiebreaker, she gets all the time with our children and I have to settle for the bits I get. It sucks. And there’s literally nothing “wrong” with me. The judge said I was a fit and proper parent but because she was deemed being the primary pare…
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 12:47 AM
2

Yup definitely have learned that
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/25 11:51 PM
2

Thank you for the support. Just everything I read online is how rarely an appellate court reverses any ruling and I was just feeling discouraged. I know every point has to be based off of a legal mistake. I just feel there are multiple things that were disregarded in the legal sense that I feel I have a case for. I’ve just also been told it can be very costly to appeal and a long timeline so again just discouraging
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/25 11:43 PM
1

My only advice is during separation do not let her have your kids more than 50% of the time. You have to maintain a status quo now where you have them half the time and will continue to
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/25 02:41 PM
1

In my experience with you having a job she may be seen as the primary parent/caretaker and you will get every other weekend especially if you have to use daycare when she is available. With my ex they didn’t make her get a job or anything. Have to pay child support and half the marriage worth of alimony. They pretty much automatically say stay at home moms contributions are as substantial as the parent with the job. I hope the best for you but for me didn’t matter how good of a dad I was or a ye…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/25 02:40 PM
7

Sorry, no matter how long you’ve been best friends or what life you’ve built you are getting divorced. Wife is absolutely doing the right thing and you should do the same having things in writing. Once lawyers are involved the burden of proof falls on you all. “He said I could have these things” will not hold up if you ended up turning on her. It’s not about trust it’s just protection. People change. I would not get upset about this and just put things in writing until everything is over
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 03:13 PM
1

You could but be careful getting to that 10yrs of marriage even more case for more alimony for her. You could request the years you may have to give it she prove she is gaining skills to work. Also check your state laws what’s typical. Document everything and show how she just basically chooses not to have a job and that she is not a stay at home mom. Also anything you have proof that she has been working on a business and her goal was always to work. Write down everything you do to show you are…
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 10:48 PM
2

This is what I’m worried about that there’s just no repercussion for this for the mom to do it, but I know if I did I’d be the asshole taking the children from their mother. Just insane how skewed the court system is. Even family, for instance me asking for more time with our children is me being the jerk trying to take time from their mom, but her having them all the time makes me out as a deadbeat and her having to shoulder the burden alone? There’s no winning as a dad against a mom who cares …
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 04:25 AM
2

I feel like she has a weak argument a court can easily see through. You can’t claim to be a stay at home mom when your kid goes to daycare and like you said she never has consecutively cared for her. The issue will be the fact she is available for your child technically and also she will argue you agreed to her not having to work all this time. She has a case for alimony, but probably not very long term. Not sure how it will work out custody wise since she can’t financially support herself or yo…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 02:32 AM
1

Yeah unfortunately I thought we were working together for a more mutual agreement. Lots of lessons learned
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 02:23 AM
11

At least no matter what the outcome is now once she gets a job you can get things changed and have her income taken into account when it comes to child support etc. she may end up owing you later. Sucks for now though. My ex told me she wanted to quit her job to pursue her own thing. She never did it she just got pregnant and decided to be a stay at home mom. 7years later finalizing our divorce after 2yrs she’s going to get half of everything. I worked so much OT to make up for our lost income. …
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/25 12:47 AM
3

I’m sorry you feel that way. Kids are smart. You just have to keep assuring them it was the best decision for them and you want both mom and dad to be happy…if you’ve been paying all the bills yourself the judge may take that into account. Just never know but if you stay legally married you will never emotionally be able to move on. You will have no say who is around your children. A court order could at least put a 6mo-1yr block on the kids meeting anyone or having overnights etc. getting divor…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 02:58 PM
2

You need to file! She owes you and the judge will not look fondly on her not financially supporting the kids. You could likely get more than 50/50 in this case. Don’t let her keep getting away with this
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 05:41 PM
1

Thank you. Basically she’s trying to have the kids full time with full financial support and not planning on working. Have 2 school aged children and a 3yr old. Just can’t imagine not seeing my kids and on top of it paying her half my salary (or more)
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/24 02:45 AM
1

That is a relief to hear that it worked out for you
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 11:39 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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