Any hope?

jd385272 · 2024-08-19T03:40:14+00:00

Courts always prefer 50/50 so it's common in most states, unless you're unfit, on drugs or a hardened criminal.

Serious-Buffalo6776 · 2024-08-19T03:21:17+00:00

Yes, I finalized 50/50. I do pay child support, but I ate that loss to get things done. It’s not much. I think she plans to live off of it without working, which is insane.

Thedude1217 · 2024-08-19T02:45:11+00:00

Thank you. Basically she’s trying to have the kids full time with full financial support and not planning on working. Have 2 school aged children and a 3yr old. Just can’t imagine not seeing my kids and on top of it paying her half my salary (or more)

Slowloris81 · 2024-08-17T20:05:26+00:00

Yes! I just finalized 50/50 with that exact situation. I was worried too. There is hope. What jurisdiction? How long have you been married? Many are moving toward more equitable parenting time even with that dynamic. Feel free to DM me too if I can provide some ideas or perspective.

MovingForwardNow123 · 2024-08-17T19:36:06+00:00

Heavily dependent on the state you are in, age of you kid(s), how involved you were with the kids before separation, daycare/school, length of marriage etc.

I am currently going through this now, but my wife works full-time, and we have used a nanny since my daughter was a few months old. What you need to do is document everything you do to be involved with your kid, pickups/drop-offs, doctor/dentist appointments, extra curriculars, reading, bedtime, bath time, essentially want to show you are just involved as your wife and you are capable of handling the parenting responsibilities.

You are also permitted to have childcare during working hours, but you want to be able to show your job is flexible and you can handle routine and emergent childcare issues. Most states have a "best interest of the child" consideration, which is the hurdle you need to get over. This means the states want both parents to be actively involved in their kids' lives, and it requires both parents to facilitate the parenting plan and cooperate.

If you are less available during the week, see how you can structure the parenting plan, so you have more time on weekends. If you work late nights offer to take the day-time shifts. Split some days if you can, with one parent taking am or pm shift and the other parent taking the other side. You can get as creative as your spouse will allow and the court will approve almost any agreement because mom and dad came up with it and agreed on the parameters.

Child support goes down dramatically in most states under 50/50 so maybe offer a little more in childcare to show it's not just about the money. If finances are a concern, make sure you get as many overnights as you can because that impacts the CS calculation.

Above all else keep your cool and play the long game. No matter how batshit crazy your spouse may act at times you need to play the long game which most likely means taking a lot of shit to get the plan you want. Ignore the nonsense and accusations when they come, the judge and the court could care less. Unless there is recurring violence and substance abuse this nonsense makes no difference in the courts view.

Good luck, let us know how it goes.

Title	Any hope?
Author	Thedude1217
Upvotes	3
Comments	6
Date	August 16, 2024 7:58 PM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1etycgm/any_hope/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/any-hope.1527499 https://theredarchive.com/post/1527499