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TheseThingsMatter Archive

View 2 posts and 62 comments by TheseThingsMatter on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
15

TheseThingsMatter/r/MensRights02/01/13 01:58 AM
0

TheseThingsMatter/r/MensRights03/10/12 08:27 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

I totally agree that overtly leering at someone is a creepy, weird, thing to do. If it's in a secluded spot it becomes threatening. Some people are scumbags. However, in my experience that is rare. The thread I linked to talks about a guy's experience talking a walk through the gay side of town. He makes it out as if it the average, normal experience for a guy doing this is to be lewdly leered at (which makes you want to shower afterwards) and followed. That just isn't true and it's not cool to …
/r/MensRights02/01/13 08:40 AM
1

Absolutely, cat calling, rudeness after rejection, following for 15 minutes are creepy and rapy in the extreme. I have difficulty believing that this is normal when you take a walk through the gay side of town though. In my experience it's rare, there are laws against it when it gets too extreme and any decent person will step in and help out. So when that happens it is inexcusable and disgusting behaviour but what worries me is that normal, reasonable male sexuality is being stigmatised as this…
/r/MensRights02/01/13 04:12 AM
3

I remember I missed a train with my then girlfriend a long time ago. We went to the ticket office and the guy firmly told us that we would have to buy new tickets. We could not use a later train with the same tickets. Then my gf started crying and he immediately relented. Walking out I was like, "Wow, are you ok? I had no idea you could be so upset over something like this." She just looked at me like "What are you talking about? Oh that! It was nothing ... now let's get this train." Of course, …
/r/MensRights15/11/12 12:01 AM
2

I suppose it's an easy to digest sound bite. What I'd like to see are campaigns to break down restricted gender stereotypes. Which say it's awesome for women to be doctors, engineers, scientists and men to be stay at home dads and nurses if they want to be. It's not about gender it's about doing what you want.
/r/MensRights23/10/12 12:41 AM
1

If you like Asian women have you considered a holiday to Thailand? They'll love you in the clubs there. Locally, how about looking online for a wingman in the same situation as you and getting out there to hit the bars and clubs.
/r/seduction08/10/12 02:23 AM
1

Well, I don't want to misrepresent the conversation. Feel free to wander over and have a look... but I just mean to use that as an example to say, yeah, there is a lot of stuff that is crackpot insane there.
/r/MensRights06/10/12 03:26 AM
1

Yeah, I haven't read it too much but I agree some of the opinions there are terrible. There's an earnest discussion about enthusiastic consent there at the moment with some people saying that if you have sex with someone and they don't say no, or try to stop it any way, then it could still be rape if they seem reluctant... I mean, yeah, I don't see why anyone would ever want to have sex with someone who is reluctant but it doesn't deserve a rape charge. At the same time I think the intentions ar…
/r/MensRights05/10/12 11:28 PM
1

Cool. I disagree with you. I think porn is fine as long as everything is done by consenting adults but thanks for taking the time to discuss it with me.
/r/MensRights05/10/12 12:33 PM
0

Yeah, but the things that are said there are meant to be offensive. It's like when you watch a film. You don't think 'OMG how can Heath Ledger get away with killing a man with a pencil.' You know it's a fictional character designed to provoke a certain response. If you're taking at face value, even when they openly state they are not being serious, then... you don't get it.
/r/MensRights05/10/12 12:30 PM
-1

I think you just misunderstand the intent. Can you me an example of something that makes them look like actual fuckheads?
/r/MensRights05/10/12 06:36 AM
1

Why would they keep doing porn if they don't like it? I'm not trying to be disingenuous there. There's an interesting discussion on SRSDiscussion right now with the subject "Hang Ups About Sex Work". There are several sex workers there talking about how they enjoy the work and that it is much better than the alternatives. If sex workers in porn can be provided with good working conditions would you be ok with that section of the porn industry?
/r/MensRights05/10/12 05:59 AM
1

Ok, so thinks like gonewild or amateur porn or porn made under good working conditions are ok with you?
/r/MensRights05/10/12 04:59 AM
-1

Hmmm, dunno, it clearly states that it is a work of satire. You seem to be taking it at face value. I get it, when I first saw it I was like "what? that's really offensive" but it makes sense when you read the FAQ. You are supposed to be upset by it. Consider why you're upset... I'm not saying it's all good but I do like what they've done, it is food for thought, and your initial criticism 'Of course their excuse is that it's "just jokes"' shows that you don't understand what the subreddit is fo…
/r/MensRights05/10/12 04:48 AM
1

I agree that if you're not comfortable doing porn then you shouldn't do it and nobody should be pressuring you to do it in any way. Nobody should be forced to work in unhealthy environments unless they fully comprehend and consent to what is happening. Why wouldn't they just not do it though? I can understand that someone might have started out in the industry and then it spiralled in to something they hate, and feel abused in, with little option to get out because the bills need to be paid... b…
/r/MensRights05/10/12 03:54 AM
1

I'm not sure that porn does celebrate one specific sexual expression. Look at the most popular videos on xhamster - http://xhamster.com/channels/new-hits-1.html. That changes all the time but at the moment there is a man being pegged, a shemale, lesbians, a man being tied up... yes there is the formulaic stuff you talk about (which I don't see anything wrong with) but if porn is anything it's diverse.
/r/MensRights04/10/12 04:09 AM
1

I have a very different reading of the advert. I don't see any implication that only girls are at risk - it's just that this ad is raising awareness of abuse of women and girls. It comes down to subjective opinion, and we're going round in circles but, while I see and respect your good intentions and point of view, I disagree that main message portrayed by this ad is manipulative, harmful, and demeaning to people of both sexes. It's just trying to prevent abuse of woman. I'm cool with that. The …
/r/MensRights04/10/12 03:54 AM
1

As long as it's consensual what's the problem? Nobody should should ever be coerced in to sex but if it's consensual why should anyone stop them?
/r/MensRights04/10/12 03:48 AM
1

So you would support a gender neutral campaign against abuse if it's goal was solely to raise awareness and prevent abuse? What are the goals of this type of anti-abuse campaign that you disagree with? BTW, I apologise if anything I say is coming off condescending, reductive or snide. It genuinely isn't my intention and, hey, thanks for taking the time to chat about this with me. It's good to discuss serious issue like adults. I hope I'm being open minded to your point of view.
/r/MensRights04/10/12 02:27 AM
1

I'll check out the video, thanks.
/r/MensRights04/10/12 02:23 AM
3

There is also the idea of traditional gender roles which put woman in to lower paying jobs, the caring professions, etc, and men in to higher paying ones, engineering, computer science. I think there's a pressure from a young age - lots of women are nurses so it's deemed normal for women to want to be one but strange for a man. It's good for everyone to remove that pressure but it's not easy to do. I've talked with my partner about how I'd be happy to be the main carer for any children we might …
/r/MensRights04/10/12 02:02 AM
1

Also the choice of subjects that people choose to study. Many more men do hard science subjects, cs, engineering which tend to be better paid. There are no gender barriers to those subject choices and there are active campaigns 'Women in IT' to encourage women to chose them. I think there is a kind of society pressure that, for example, men do engineering and women are nurses. That's not good for anyone but it's not an easy thing to change.
/r/MensRights04/10/12 01:47 AM
1

So in questioning if I am against abuse you realize you are passively insulting me, right? I apologise if I have seemed to insult you in any way. It genuinely wasn't my intention. Regardless of this specific campaign and their goals would you support a campaign that had the same message phrased in a gender neutral way?
/r/MensRights04/10/12 01:28 AM
1

Why not the abuse of all people? I think every decent person is against abuse but sometimes different groups have different experiences. So it's appropriate to have campaigns for them specifically. At any cost? Not at any cost. The rights of one group shouldn't infringe anyone else's. I just don't see the danger that you see in this. It's just a poster spreading the message "It's wrong to abuse women". Would you support a campaign that had the same message phrased in a gender neutral way?
/r/MensRights04/10/12 12:46 AM
1

Well, I disagree with you. I think an organisation campaigning to end abuse of women is great. I feel the same way about campaigns to stop male abuse, or racism, or bullying. I do agree with you that the stat use is wrong. Would you support a gender neutral poster campaign against abuse?
/r/MensRights04/10/12 12:29 AM
1

Ok, how would you change the poster to be acceptable?
/r/MensRights04/10/12 12:11 AM
1

I see what you're saying. I think propaganda is bad, sinister and if someone has to to resort to that it makes me question why they can't just rely on the truth. I linked to this article - http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2009/oct/20/trafficking-numbers-women-exaggerated - on another thread and it gives a damning critique of fraudulent stats use. Acknowledging all of that I still feel that the underlying goal of spreading a message that "abuse is wrong" is a very, very good one. Is there any way tha…
/r/MensRights04/10/12 12:02 AM
10

Yeah, the guardian article - http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2009/oct/20/trafficking-numbers-women-exaggerated is really good. "In the story of UK sex trafficking, the conclusions of academics who study the sex trade have been subjected to the same treatment as the restrained reports of intelligence analysts who studied Iraqi weapons – stripped of caution, stretched to their most alarming possible meaning and tossed into the public domain. There, they have been picked up by the media who have stret…
/r/MensRights03/10/12 11:51 PM
3

As others have said why do all men have to take the blame for the actions of male tyrants? It's not like tyrants happily spare men.
/r/MensRights03/10/12 11:39 PM
1

Rape, sexual abuse, physical abuse, cruelty, mental torture, physical torture... you know, doing really nasty, bad stuff.
/r/MensRights03/10/12 11:36 PM
1

You're not doing it right. ;)
/r/MensRights03/10/12 11:33 PM
1

Exactly, fantasy and reality are very different...
/r/MensRights03/10/12 11:33 PM
0

It's true but it's kind of a creepy and inappropriate thing to bring up when discussing an article about stalking/false allegations of stalking.
/r/MensRights03/10/12 11:31 PM
1

Would you approve of the message that it is wrong to abuse women?
/r/MensRights03/10/12 11:28 PM
2

I think people need to not force others in to roles they don't want because of their gender... and that's it.
/r/MensRights03/10/12 11:20 PM
1

Thanks. I do agree the 50% stat is totally skewed and it's wrong to misrepresent information that way. If they dropped the false stats, would it be a campaign that you would support?
/r/MensRights03/10/12 11:13 PM
1

I see your point. On your last paragraph. I would find that an unlikely, deeply sinister scenario and I would protest and vote against it. It seems such a big leap though. The ad is promoting not abusing girls and women. I'm totally for that. I'm sure you are too. Of course, if people start making false accusations or suggesting monitoring equipment then that's a problem... but I don't read it like that or see that as a realistic outcome of this campaign. I do agree with you about not having the…
/r/MensRights03/10/12 10:55 PM
1

Can you elaborate? Which studies? Is there campaign material stating this?
/r/MensRights03/10/12 12:46 PM
0

Yes, I agree that the numbers should not be inflated and that it is likely that the 50% figure comes from a very stretched definition of abuse. I suppose I just think the underlying cause is such a no brainer. Don't abuse people is right up there with don't drown kittens and puppies. I can't be angry with someone spreading that message. It just seems it can only do good.
/r/MensRights03/10/12 12:44 PM
1

Ok, I certainly wouldn't support a campaign that classes all parental spanking, no matter the context or way it is carried out, as abuse. That claim isn't made on the advert. Do you have a link to where the campaigns states this?
/r/MensRights03/10/12 12:39 PM
1

Well, raising awareness of the issue is a way to tackle it. I'd be supportive of similar advertising campaigns supporting some of the causes that we discuss here on Mens Rights. I know it won't be a complete solution but it's part of it. I personally don't think I'd spank a child but I understood that others would. Although I do think it's a subject that has to be treated very carefully as it could lead to damaging abuse. (but I think that is veering off topic).
/r/MensRights03/10/12 12:28 PM
0

Yeah, the 50% number just seems crazy. This video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQl55eMt74g) linked elsewhere in the thread says it gets the number from a number of sources includes the Canada Wide Spousal Violence Survey. I totally agree the numbers seem way off... but you agree with the general aims of it surely? You agree that physical and sexual abuse should not be tolerated, right?
/r/MensRights03/10/12 12:24 PM
3

Surely abuse against either gender is a problem. One is not realer than the other.
/r/MensRights03/10/12 12:15 PM
0

I disagree with you. I think if this ad campaign saves one person from abuse then it's well worth it. I don't see why it would imprison innocent people. A legal system that doesn't work correctly could do that but it's a completely different issue. I really struggle to get why anyone would be upset by a campaign trying to prevent sexual and physical abuse. It's not a anti-male thing it's just a stop abusing women thing.
/r/MensRights03/10/12 12:13 PM
1

Yeah, but they are both terrible things. Surely an advert raising awareness of abuse, and hopefully leading to less of it, is a good thing. I agree that the stats are misleading but we all know physical and sexual abuse happens. They are very serious issues and it's important that society combats them.
/r/MensRights03/10/12 12:10 PM
5

I found this article really annoying. There's an odd final paragraph. I'm not sure if it's tongue in cheek but here is the advice on how to be a man : "Don't wear trainers after your 40th birthday. Embrace housework, and take paternity leave in full. Drink less, and talk more quietly. Forget about football. Laugh at those male public figures – politicians, usually – who use hard-nut language that makes then look even more absurd (witness not just "Bring it on" – but, say, Nick Clegg's gigglesome…
/r/MensRights03/10/12 11:25 AM
0

Yeah, it would be interesting to see the numbers behind the 50%. 0.8% is still unacceptable but they should use accurate figures. I see what you're saying about the focus being only on women. I guess it doesn't upset me just because... well, I'm happy to see the campaign. I fully support anything to combat abuse and I don't think having a campaign for women is anti-men. I do see your point though.
/r/MensRights03/10/12 07:54 AM
1

Yeah, I see what you mean about the perception of no sexual abuse against men and boys. I agree with you about the stats as well.
/r/MensRights03/10/12 07:35 AM
1

Yeah, it's definitely wrong to portray all woman as victims. I'm not sure how else you can do a campaign against physical and sexual abuse of women without doing that though... in that situation they are victims. It's not saying all women are victims.
/r/MensRights03/10/12 07:07 AM
-1

I don't read the advert that way however that would certainly be an odd and unhelpful message to portray. It's widely know that men and boys suffer physical and sexual abuse. I just think this poster isn't about that. Would you be happier if it was phrased in a gender neutral way?
/r/MensRights03/10/12 06:56 AM
-1

I'm uncomfortable with the seeming stat inflation but not with the message. It just seems like a campaign saying "Women suffer abuse. Don't abuse women." It's just like a 'Don't speed' or 'Don't drink and drive' campaign. We know it's wrong and it's good to see the message and hopefully the publicity will prevent bad things happening. Can you expand on the victims comment? I think I get what you are saying...
/r/MensRights03/10/12 06:19 AM
1

I don't think it is implying only women are at risk but I can see how that would be annoying if you read it that way. I guess it would be better to have non gender specific wording.
/r/MensRights03/10/12 05:35 AM
-3

The ad isn't about the general standard of living in Canada it is about the victims of sexual and physical abuse. It's a really serious issue that destroys lives. It's good to see campaigns against it. Yes, Canada is a prosperous first world country and people have it much worse in many ways elsewhere... but people still suffer from abuse and it's good to see a campaign against it. If it helps just one person it will be worth it.
/r/MensRights03/10/12 05:10 AM
-1

What do you mean? Are you saying you are against the message that sexual and physical abuse is bad? I don't know if there is an equivalent ad for boys but sexual and physical abuse of girls/women is wrong and I'm happy to see a campaign about it.
/r/MensRights03/10/12 04:58 AM
1

They probably didn't mean anything by it. Males are generally stronger and it was probably just easier to do it that way than to select people individually.
/r/MensRights03/10/12 04:42 AM
-4

Nobody is saying it is terrible to be a woman in Canada. It's just an ad raising awareness of physical and sexual abuse. The stats used are probably dodgy but ... the underlying message is pretty hard to be against.
/r/MensRights03/10/12 04:22 AM
1

Yeah, I agree with you. It seems odd to get upset about. Everyone realises sexual and physical abuse is wrong, surely. I think the issue, that I can understand people being annoyed about, is that the stats seem completely wrong. 50% is very high and it seems likely that it's inflated and misleading... but still even if it was one person it's still wrong and good to see a campaign against it.
/r/MensRights03/10/12 04:12 AM
1

Or not even just the reverse story. If it was a woman out for a meal with another woman friend, or a man out with a male friend it would be criminally insane to do this kind of thing.
/r/MensRights03/10/12 03:47 AM
1

If being a male-feminist is understanding that women have to think about their personal safety differently than men then that's reasonable. Every decent person is against rape.
/r/MensRights03/10/12 03:29 AM
-9

Yeah, that does sound ridiculous if they are being stone cold serious. Some people are just idiots though. You should tell them you're bi - mess with their minds. ;)
/r/MensRights08/09/12 05:31 AM
2

I would say it's because we live in an undeniably male dominated society with a history of oppression of women. Most people in power are male, men earn more money, in fairly recent history women weren't allowed to vote or allowed to do certain jobs. So to talk about male oppression comes across as completely out of whack. I don't think any reasonable person is against the concept of equal rights for all though. Also some of the things the subreddit upvotes are lacking a sense of humour or propor…
/r/MensRights08/09/12 05:05 AM
2

Something similar happened to me once. Had a pretty stormy relationship which ended after a while. Ex decides that I owe her money for a couple of small gifts she bought me during the relationship and that I had to give her back some instruction manual that had been lost long ago and I had no way of getting back. I gave her the cash I had on me and offered to meet her again as a friend for a coffee with the rest. Of course, the manual was gone and it was silly to expect me to do anything about t…
/r/MensRights08/09/12 04:48 AM
-23

I don't think the comments are entirely serious. They are just messing about because it's funny. It's totally not what you would expect to happen.
/r/MensRights08/09/12 04:28 AM
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