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ThrowRAGlobeVase Archive

View 0 posts and 248 comments by ThrowRAGlobeVase on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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–

I agree with you. I think the issue with modern day divisiveness - including everything from gender issues to politics - is that often times people have a larger agenda or viewpoint, and use individual arguments to push forward a more underlying philosophy.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 11:41 PM
–

Thank you!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 11:36 PM
–

Wow, I feel like I could have written that myself! Verbatim. I’ve always been independent… had to kind of be an adult from a young age… and always like to feel like it’s that rather than deeper feelings of deserve and self worth; but deep down I know the latter has a lot to do with it. Do you remember what the podcast you watched is called? That would be interesting to see.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 11:31 PM
–

Yeah exactly! Do you struggle with asking people for help with things too? I think some people genuinely feel good about getting help for things on their plate… delegating tasks like “can you grab me some x, y, and z when you’re out?” … but for me it’s offset by this uncomfortable feeling. Trying to work on that.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 10:52 PM
–

It’s weird… like I absolutely do… but I feel like a leech… like I now owe someone something or I’m. It being self sufficient. I can’t relax and just feel good about having things done for me. I wish I could feel things being done for me as generative.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 09:42 PM
–

Yeah I think that’s my point. As a guy, you’re raised with this idea that you’re going to provide for yourself and your family - that’s your expectation and responsibility. So meeting someone who makes less is your expectation and something you’re completely open to. I agree that career focused women today don’t necessarily expect to find someone that makes a lot more than them. But, I think there’s still a much larger divide between men and women who make a good amount to date someone who makes…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/26 07:42 PM
1

My point is the data says female doctors and male doctors act differently in how they choose. Female doctors are much more likely to marry another doctor than the other way around. How much someone makes isn’t the only factor in how much they expect or desire a partner to make.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/26 10:10 PM
8

I gettt what you’re saying but like… does the fact that women increasingly make money necessarily mean they’re not inclined to want someone who can provide? I feel like eventually it might, but already? Form follows function. I remember coming across a study from 2022 (I can find it if you want) looking at male and female doctors (high earners). Even controlling for income, female doctors were way more likely to have equally academically accomplished spouses; 50 percent of the male doctors were …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/26 06:31 AM
56

Poverty tends to produce people who get used by society.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/26 06:20 AM
1

Idk if that’s feminism though. I think a lot of women just … want traditional stuff, and not actual feminism. There are a lot of feminists who believe in feminist ideology and seem to be consistent
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/26 02:12 AM
5

I know, I completely agree
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/26 02:10 AM
1

I gotcha. Yeah I agree with that. I feel like even just having confidence and satisfaction in life and a can do attitude goes such a long way… even more than a paycheck or something like that does.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 11:16 PM
1

How so on the more subtle and taking months or years? I guess I’m confused as to how what you’re saying is any different than women are attracted to someone who can provide?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 10:56 PM
7

I think this idea that women are just going for the next best option is ridiculous. That they’ll leave you because all of a sudden there’s a better provider in the picture. Women, like all humans, love people and form attachments too… and of course value a long committed relationship different than early dating evaluation. But I do think initially a lot of women do look for men stronger in SOME area or the other. Higher income, better education, more extroverted/social, taller etc. I can’t see m…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 10:14 PM
1

Yeah I guess that’s a benefit… but it also makes people feel like every societal problem is at their front door, and groups people into certain ways of thinking. Removed grey area and nuance and forms strong opinions in people.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 08:13 PM
4

I know it’s so weird… my girlfriend and I don’t really talk about it at all… but I know she’s kind of “exposed” to it on social media like TikTok too… I’ll hear her drop a phrase like “ahhh the male loneliness epidemic.” But she doesn’t have a POV and we don’t go beyond that. Social media sucks.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 07:47 PM
6

Well… I just want to point out… it might be men in this subreddit and parts of social media. I hope you’re not thinking about that as a sample for the rest of the world. This place is where a lot of pissed off, annoyed-at-the-world men (and women) tend to go.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 07:22 PM
9

Yeah that’s kind of ridiculous. Women are just doing what they want as they should. I do think women contribute towards entrenched values and roles, but men do too. It’s a human thing not a gender thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 07:18 PM
10

I guess I’m confused by what you mean “women are to blame” vs. not? I feel like most of these problems are systemic rather than men are to blame or women are to blame… they’re kind of structural and stem from entrenched societal views that are hard to break out of. Am I missing something where a lot of people are saying women are solely to blame?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 07:06 PM
5

Well said. Sometimes I think maybe deep down I’m actually a red pill woman because I agree with a lot of the comments y’all make.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 07:01 PM
–

I agree with you in that there’s something about the male loneliness epidemic that feels weird. I don’t know where it comes from though. I don’t really hear dudes I know referring to it in that way. I think a lot of people are just single… social media, changing political climate, economic factors, gender wars. I think though it’s just become an empowering thing for women; I get the sense that single women are lonely too… but no one really wants to admit it. That’s created this image that it’s a…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 06:23 PM
3

I totally agree with you. I think people in today’s world just have a lot of boxed thinking. They take their experiences and project them on to others, essentially. And everyone consumes and parrots short form sound bites instead of long form content that can really shape a persons perspective. I agree most men take something a woman does out of context and doesn’t apply it to the whole experience of being a woman - values, expectations, perspective, and all that. I for sure don’t understand the…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 05:31 PM
3

Same man! Similar to your age. I know change is incremental and slow. Every shorter guy or young balding guy I know has had to fight some tough personal battles about it. It’s not easy, it’s not something you can change, and it’s core to your identity. But it’s not really seen as a sympathy inducing struggle to support.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 04:30 AM
9

I don’t know… I think that’s just a way to moralize one pressure and not the other. Obviously there are the newer things you mentioned - not getting one match on a dating app when you’ve swiped on 500 is definitely in the not enough category. But even historically, they’ve always existed… you gotta be tall, white, have a good head of hair, and make good money. You’re just not allowed to talk about this pressure because men are punished for showing weakness. I’m a bit older… I went through a good…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 12:15 AM
4

Yeah I think it’s become a part of many women’s identities… just this kind of feeling of being on the side of equality and justice for marginalized groups, to the point where the feeling of contributing negatively toward it is one of cognitive dissonance and needs to be reconciled.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/26 11:41 PM
1

Well, it’s supply and demand to a certain extent too rather than prestige. I think you said it - something anyone can do vs. something that’s scarce. Even professionally things that are hard that a lot of people can do - like construction work for example - don’t get paid as much as scarce skills. No one is sitting down and saying we should monetarily value these things as a society and not these things. And the honest truth is that a lot of taking care of children and the domestic HAS been comm…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/26 10:16 PM
0

That’s true. I do think nurturing and caregiving traits are valued societally, but not monetarily. Part of it is it tends to be around one’s own kids/family, so it doesn’t turn it into a marketable skill and people won’t pay for it. I feel like there should ideally be equal rewards and equal expectation on both men and women for both the professional and the domestic.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/26 09:37 PM
11

It comes to the individual vs. statistics. If a woman doesn’t want to date a bi man, that’s ok. My partner is like that actually. But a lot of women need to stop acting like they don’t contribute to traditional gender roles and values like homophobia. Just own that it’s an implicit bias that you have too. I think what annoys people is when certain women don’t take accountability for biases and wrap it into this weird ass argument about how it’s misogynistic for them NOT have these preferences. H…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/26 07:48 PM
2

Again it comes to the individual vs. statistics. If a woman doesn’t want to date a bi man, that’s ok. My partner is like that actually. But a lot of women need to stop acting like they don’t contribute to traditional gender roles and values like homophobia. Just own that it’s an implicit bias that you have too. I think what annoys people is when certain women don’t take accountability for biases and wrap it into this weird ass argument about how it’s misogynistic for them NOT have these preferen…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/26 07:47 PM
2

Dude “… in my personal opinion I think men are better.” Lmao. I get frustrated with some of the hypocrisy that a lot of modern day women can sometimes show… but your post is a great reminder for why the world needed and still needs feminism.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/26 07:40 PM
2

That’s interesting. What are some historical feminine traits that aren’t valued? And do you feel like those masculine traits are valued in women in the modern day?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/26 07:37 PM
9

Maybe because hypocrisy is damaging? If you say you believe one thing, but your actions aren’t consistent with that, it’s the perfect recipe for causing harm while absolving yourself and feeling you’re not. It’s better to either take consistent actions, or just continue with your actions while accounting for them in your beliefs. Most shitty things people do in the world aren’t done by people who think they’re doing something shitty. This applies to everyone. Racists, misogynists, whoever. Why w…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/26 07:31 PM
1

I think people who believe in traditional roles - both men and women - tend to fall into these traditional societal beliefs. Gay men, for example, don’t really care about their partners body count, or want to control their partner. I’m not very traditional and my partner has a way higher body count than me. A bit annoying to think about but it doesn’t bother me that much as long as she respects me. And for the record, it bothered her initially more than me
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 05:37 AM
1

What? Confused how you arrived at that.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 04:22 AM
1

I think it’s just two liberation messages that conflict with each other - 1) have sex with who you want because it’s fun… why do men get a “notch” on their belt and women get shamed when they sleep with people. That’s not fair… do what you want and own it. 2) men, on average, want sex more, so it’s something that’s scarce, and it’s yours to have power over; you are empowered by holding onto it and “giving it out” it scarcely. I don’t know if either one is true… I think in an ideal world men and …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 12:40 AM
9

I mean… no form of intimacy at all? Making out, second or third base? If there’s no sex but there’s still some kind of an intimate, sexual connection that is connected to attraction, then yeah I’d still go for it. It would still feel like a unique romantic relationship. If it’s nothing at all, I’d still want long term companionship and I’d want a partner to raise kids and start a family with. But I don’t know if it would have to be a woman. Maybe I’d raise a tot or two with my brother.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 11:28 PM
11

I mean… do you want them to dig up sources that say women on average tend to be attracted to said non physical strength traits like confidence and ambition? Are you suggesting that this is not the case? People tend to jump on words like “evidence” because it offers an easy opportunity for a counter/rebuttal rather than engaging with the conclusion/meat of the argument. Totally fair if the evidence is false and undermines the conclusion, but if not, you’re just putting up a straw man.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 08:11 PM
1

I don’t know man. I feel like women display plenty areas of weaponized incompetence itself that doesn’t really go seen because the cultural conversation right now tends to highlight the areas where men do it. The same thing with apologizing, except the other way around. I feel like you’re maybe tuned to notice the type of half apology women tend to do instead of making a full one. And it’s easy to see that everywhere. But if you zoom out, man men are some of the most prideful people ever… I beat…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 07:25 PM
3

Bro, I don’t know. My gal says “I’m sorry” for tons of things… if she forgot something, if she just hogged the blankets. Are you saying I’ve just been dating the exceptions here? Genuinely curious.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 12:24 AM
4

You’ve never seen a woman apologize? I don’t know about that dude… I have accountability issues with my partner but she apologized all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/26 11:20 PM
7

So, I honestly think that you hit the nail on the head with the natural flow of exactly what should be happening. This is 100%, exactly it. But, there’s one problem. Most women aren’t attracted to it. I think you’re the very welcome exception to the rule. Men will do whatever attracts women. It’s why we do a huge amount of the things we do - it’s the demand that we react to. I think the evolution of gender equality and roles have hit a standstill not in small part because what women logically wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/26 05:43 AM
1

Of course… but isn’t that’s just how it works for everyone? Evolutionary biology and all makes it so some of our deepest imperatives are ultimately in service of being able to create offspring. But just because we succeed at a goal, doesn’t mean the drive stops. Married men still try to kill it in their careers, married women still want to look good, you know? I don’t know if that makes sense or I’m missing the point you’re trying to make.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/26 09:55 PM
11

I mean… your take on it is really one sided and not very nuanced. For starters… I think men care just as much about status as women. A lot of guys want to win the race or be the star athlete or something of that nature. Lots of fronting and dick waving machismo the larger the group of homies are. I could argue that men are able to create status by who they are - what they do, how much they make, by winning a competition, but society doesn’t reward women in the same way… so they have to display t…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/26 04:48 AM
-1

I like someone who is empathetic, kind, a little bubbly, and generally introverted with a social side (because I am). I like a little feistiness and directness. However, I think a decent portion of what women are attracted to in men are actually status indicators masqueraded as personality. Confident means the guy can lead; funny and extroverted indicate a status and social position that holds power within it. They are all kind of traits suggestive of a good provider. It’s why the nervous, stutt…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/26 04:53 AM
2

Eh, some of those I think I’d be more OK with than women would generally be of men in the same situation; others, not so much. But I think, as you noted it in your own example, a lot of what you’re listing is incompetence. And some of it is hurtful, toxic, and manipulative behavior. They aren’t all simply innocent shows of weakness. My girlfriend is a badass and a doctor who saves lives. She’s highly competent. She also cried for 30 minutes the last time the cat bit her because she does so much …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 10:04 PM
1

That’s interesting, I’ll have to noodle on that. You phrased it well. The thing though is I do also feel like men should be more allowed to be weak as well. Vulnerability is always accepted in men if it’s through the lens of strength. Cry… but in a way that juxtapositions it against your strength and resilience… not ugly cry; share worries and complaints, but only if you have a plan and are not overwhelmed. I think the problem is it’s a short thing vs. long term, practical vs. ideal battle in mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 09:46 PM
–

I mean, I feel like women kind of want this when they say there are so many beautiful women around but not one attractive guy to be seen. But yeah it needs to be socially accepted. Because right now it’s not considered masculine and women want that too.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 05:59 AM
5

Yeah for sure I’ve kind of seen that over the last couple decades as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 02:40 AM
5

I think society doesn’t really know what to with sex. It’s like we’re trying to wrap our heads around if it’s a big deal or not. On the one hand there’s a push toward freedom of expression and normalizing it that is centered around agency. Get rid of bras! Positivity around choice-based sex work! Yet at the same time there’s also little flares of Puritanism that places a heightened importance around the importance of sex, also stemming from this idea of choice. Men aren’t owed sex, looking down …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 01:04 AM
2

Wait you think the government should pay SAHMs?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 02:41 AM
3

I mean if you’re married isn’t it kind of paid? If there’s a divorce you get 50.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 10:48 PM
1

Yeah I do think the sympathy gap is a real thing. Like… all adults are evolutionarily programmed to take care of cute babies, kids, tiny animals, and old people who start looking cute. It’s just evolution. They need protection and help. And women, while not to the same extent as the other things I referenced of course, just evolved to be… cuter than men? More doe-eyed, and more in need of physical protection. I don’t think people realize how much that in itself creates an infantilization of wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 06:04 AM
2

I feel that. I got physically attacked by a group once when I was younger. Nothing too bad but it hurt. I felt down about myself for a good bit… but a lot of it manifested in working out, getting stronger, and buying some pepper spray. Finding a different way to find confidence. A lot of the emotional/psychological stuff has been far more long term… making me question my entire self worth and happiness. I can’t just see my enemy and address it directly. Instead it’s just a slow erosion. Sorry yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 07:13 AM
10

Idk bro… as someone who grew up in a household with physical domestic violence, it’s not just about the bodily injury that it causes. Breaking the physical barrier and hitting somebody makes someone feel immeasurably worthless, used, and terrified. It creates a situation where trust is gone, you live in fear and hypervigalence, and shame. It sometimes feels like physical harm plus an incredible amount of psychological damage. Not saying non violent stuff can’t be incredibly damaging either. It c…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 06:38 AM
13

Are they saying that though? There might be a few responses that do say that, but I don’t believe most women feel it’s impossible for women to commit violent crime. They usually just believe the stats are lopsided.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 04:45 AM
20

I do think men are more violent and prone to crime. It’s a combination, imo, of testosterone and being bigger in size. In an extreme example, it’s like having someone with aggression drugs and a weapon - feels logical that they would commit more violent crime statistically. But, that doesn’t make it ok. We’re not apes, and we hold ourselves responsible for the impact of our actions. Asking those lines, I don’t think women commit less violent crime because they’re morally superior. I think there’…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 03:50 AM
7

Yeah I agree. I think there are certain areas that both reward and put pressure to compete on each gender, based on societal biases. I think the domestic is one of those areas for women, and the professional is one of those areas for men. Men get praised for watching their own kids or having a clean house, like OP said, and women get called working moms for just being a mom who works too. On the flip side, women get a lot of credit and status for a good household, and men get a lot of the same f…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 03:30 AM
1

I mean, which ones even exist? I can think of matriarchial elements… a strong matriarch in a family or cultures that really respect strong matriarchs. But they seem to be doing ok and I wouldn’t define their entire society as matriarchial.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 08:57 AM
2

Which ones have failed historically?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 05:31 AM
3

How do you view the gender wars if you’re post gendererist? Like, I get the concept, but so much of the conversation on this sub and many others are about “_____ should…” Do you just mentally reject those statements? Not a gotcha question, just curious.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 02:45 AM
2

I mean, I think men DO, but it gets promptly shut down, classified as what-about-ism, or deemed as complaining. I don't know how much of a history buff you are, but in WW1, and a lot areas of WW2, the soldiers didn't want to fight. They literally revolted, multiple times, on multiple fronts. The larger powers that be essentially make it so if you do do that, there's a 100% chance you die, as opposed to maybe a 50% chance facing the enemy. This stuff is perpetuated by both men AND women, and ofte…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 09:37 PM
2

I agree with one piece of what you’re saying. I think the cultural conversation going on about this right now is completely entangled with women’s right, the gender wars, and a whole slew of other things. Women are kind of mad for all the things that have felt unfair to them, and there’s almost a push toward “men should also have to care about looks” and “men also age” and “men also have a biological clock” instead of just celebrating relationships where the man is younger and the woman older. T…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 10:19 PM
1

Interesting interesting. Definitely something for me to think about and appreciate the perspective. This is the type of nuance that is interesting for me to hear.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 03:19 AM
0

Yeah very interesting. I really do like to see and understand the viewpoint of women because clearly there's frustration on both sides quite often. I do think some of it like you said is different cultures and preferences between men and women. Just like that level of what is actually needed vs. not. I think women are often rewarded for AND have societal judgement/expectations for the household/domestic in female/male partnership, so there tend to be higher desires for tidiness, how nice the pla…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 12:59 AM
1

I get what you’re saying. And it’s true for sure. But I do think there’s something about wanting something NOW, even if it’s objectively something that doesn’t need to happen immediately, that’s more prevalent among women than men in relationships. Culture and society jokes about it all the time. But there’s little pieces of not so fun truth in there.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 11:57 PM
1

I think it’s hard to look at these numbers out of societal context. Anecdotally, I think if you simply took what has been said to me or my male friends out of context, and replaced me with a woman and the person saying something to me with a man, it would read as harassment. I’ve been called short, women have told me they’d like to do things with me, see me shirtless, etc. in public all the time. Women have grabbed my butt when I walk by all the time. Similar things happen to a good portion of m…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 07:43 PM
0

Honestly the responses to this question are disappointing. There are very few things that need to be done NOW… maybe things with children, or urgent needs that are time specific. But I can’t think of a household chore that I, or honestly many other men, would expect a woman to do IMMEDIATELY on demand. That kind of immediacy literally removes any sense of freedom or peace. Part of autonomy and feeling like you’re living your independent own life is general control over the minutia of your time. …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 11:50 AM
3

I think most of what you’re saying in the body of your text makes sense. I’m not sure I agree fully with the title though. I think a lot of women ARE essentially starting to say it is all men. I don’t think any guys are pushing back against women who say “we know it’s not all men, just a small minority, but we still gotta watch out.”
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 03:39 AM
2

I don’t see how the two issues are related. They can both be true but one doesn’t cancel out the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 03:08 AM
1

I think we have to just apply the same logic equally. I consider myself a feminist because I believe in those academic feminist stances that I've read about. But I don't agree with a ton of points that many women have and claim are in the name of feminism. Either a movement is judged by the original description it's core members started off with, and we work to preserve that; or it's judged by what it promotes, attracts, and becomes. But whichever one it is needs to be applied to both red pill a…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 11:29 PM
2

I agree with you. I hadn't heard about Bulverism. Learned something new! I think everything, even outside of this forum, has become so identity focused and people conversing always come in wearing jerseys. I remember 20 years ago, a democrat and a republican, or a liberal and a conservative, could actually have a conversation about one particular viewpoint - let's say progressive taxes vs. flatter taxes - and actually change their minds or opinions. That's kind of absent in todays world, and esp…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 11:16 PM
1

I don't know if debate and discourse is among the worst ways to arrive at any truth. Maybe for fields like the hard sciences, where there is a factual, indisputable hard truth. But I think without discourse, it's almost impossible for a group to arrive at a sociological truth. It's just that this doesn't mean that discourse ALWAYS leads to sociological truths. When it's polluted and unproductive, it can yield no benefit at all. It's a rectangle square relationship. All squares are rectangles, bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 11:10 PM
–

I’m not saying misogyny doesn’t exist, just like I’m not saying racism doesn’t exist. It absolutely does. And I fricking hate both of them. But I think the expressions for each type of anger, hatred and bigotry are different, unique to the situation. I think with men towards women, it can be a lot harsher, a lot more pronounced, and usually done by a group of shitty men. It’s horrible things like rape and violence. It stems from a deep disrespect and superiority complex. I think with women towar…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 08:12 PM
1

She definitely won’t if she has to pay me on top of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 10:10 AM
–

I mean… I do think there’s this conflagration effect going on where it just feels like a huge portion of women have some sort of resentment or hatred towards men. Feels way beyond where feminism was a few years ago and the logical arguments around it (I’ve always considered myself a feminist). At this point I don’t know if it’s about actually wanting equality or wanting reparations for years of inequality. Because sometimes it feels like the latter. And, that’s fine if that’s what it is. But as …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 09:23 AM
1

For sure. She definitely can though.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 09:17 AM
1

Mannn wtf. My gf doesn’t even want me to be a stay at home dad… how am I supposed to convince her to pay me for it too?!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 07:53 AM
0

Some of what you're talking about is attraction. Some of it is the feeling of expectation around a partnership, which if not met, can create resentment. There's something different about it. As a guy, I don't feel like a woman is going to love me in the same way she might love her child - it's a lot more based on what I can do and provide. I'm sure women feel a version of that too.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 03:25 AM
1

I think women do do more at home. It’s a value and reward system. They gain more utility and recognition for having a well run home and also have to burden the societal expectations around it as well. I think, though, if a lot of couples sat down and decided how involved they wanted to run a household - Christmas cards to friends? How clean is clean? Sheets how often? Do we need to squeegee the shower? - I think quite a few men do half of the amount they feel is necessary to maintain a good hous…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 08:10 AM
1

I think it’s just a number and statistics thing, to be honest, and less about whether she is “doing” something that makes guys this way. Let’s say 100 guys date her… 90 may want to have sex with her, and 30 may want to date her, 10 might be compatible enough for a real relationship. She might be confusing wanting to be intimate with wanting to date or have a relationship. I’m sure it’s hard for women because it feels like a lot of guys are choosing you and that’s the caliber of guy they can get …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 07:14 PM
1

I feel like it’s a tough concept to explain to women because women tend to be naturally attracted to this trait, project it onto what they feel men must be attracted to, and then have difficulty reconciling it when it doesn’t practically pay off - so there’s this explanation norm that men are intimidated by successful women. But, it’s just not something we’re attracted to. We might like it for other reasons, like wanting another stable income, or a partner who also provides financially, but it’s…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 06:34 AM
1

100%
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 08:20 PM
2

I fucking love feminism. I very rarely find a feminist point I disagree with. And all the feminist ideologies I read about benefit me as well. The things I feel disadvantaged from are a lot of other things being said that aren’t a part of academic feminist ideology. For example, cherry picking around wanting traditional elements in a guy when convenient and progressive elements when convenient.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 07:45 AM
0

Well I think you’re saying women want something, but not when it comes with shit. Totally fair. But they still want that thing in a way that men don’t is my point. I think you can replace the “when it benefits them” in the title of the post with “when it doesn’t harm them.” And the general gist of the post is true.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 11:28 PM
-4

I don’t know if thats entirely true. I get what you’re saying, but I also think women are attracted to a certain type of submissiveness and objectification (I wouldn’t use that word, personally). Just look at things like sexual fantasies, the idea of wanting someone masculine so they can be more feminine, and all that. Not saying everyone fits into this mold but the bell curve certainly skews toward it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 11:15 PM
1

A few things: I think there are traits that women exhibit too that men find valuable, but society doesn't recognize them quite as much. For example, someone being agreeable and having a smile on their face rather than being loud and abrasive. There are certain ways that women have to mold their personalities - not necessarily to get any guy, but to have good options and keep a man around. Let's say for the sake of argument that physical beauty is the trait that men are prizing in women. It's not…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 07:17 PM
1

I think there’s just a breakdown of logic in your argument. You’re saying something is true, which is fair, and then implying it means something else is true, which isn’t necessarily the case. Women value confidence. True. This puts men at a significant dating disadvantage in general. Why does that have to be true? It’s one factor among many that determine whether dating is difficult or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 06:20 PM
4

Well again, it’s not the skill set itself it’s the product of it. I think we can recognize the skill set and appreciate it. But we’re attracted to the product of it - in this case how the person looks. Someone who is an amazing beautician and can do wonders with makeup isn’t going to be attractive if, how do I say this, they’re not attractive even with the makeup.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 10:30 PM
9

I don’t think it’s that women don’t need to develop skills to be competitive in this world, or that people don’t admire them for these skills; it’s that attraction from guys isn’t as related to the skill set itself as much as the outcome it produces. For example, many women might find a guitarist who is skillful as very attractive… the act of being skillful increases his value. That type of skill for the sake of skill value doesn’t have as much of an impact on attraction with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 10:18 PM
0

I agree with a lot of what you’re saying. And I agree with the overall premise that it’s not just women rejecting men, it’s men rejecting women too, and it happens to be a lot more covert. For example, a woman who doesn’t get approached a lot or asked out a lot is certainly a form of rejection. It’s like you’re always picked last in PE. I think overall, if you’re not a catch, that doesn’t mean you’re not attracted to and still want catches. There’s no universal rule that says “thou must be attra…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 07:35 PM
1

No one is saying it’s easy. Maybe people ARE improving… I generally see a good amount of confident people, and people tend to get more confident the older they get. But in terms of whether that gets you a mate, you’re talking about if you have a competitive advantage. That means you have to be above the rest of the pack, and that’s inherently hard. But that’s also how it is for staying in shape and everything else too no?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 09:50 PM
0

I think people tend to value things relatively. Confidence is always relative to other men and other humans. I’d say it’s not actually a difficult trait to improve on… because some of it is just how you carry yourself, and it gets better the more competent and older you get. In a way it’s an advantage because it’s more controllable.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 09:21 PM
2

How does it put them at a disadvantage? Men value things in women too right?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 08:46 PM
3

What are some good examples? I’m just curious. I feel like in today’s world it’s really difficult to separate compromise from letting go of your boundaries.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 01:28 AM
2

I think you think you’re being clever by creating a gotcha question. I don’t think you’re actually here for genuine responses or debate. I’m not a red pill guy, but I don’t think red pill ideology is rooted in being amoral like you’re suggesting. I think at its foundation it’s about embracing a view that, under the surface, both men and women ultimately navigate relationships and dating through a much more transactional, self-interested, and evolutionarily determined way than people like to thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 04:53 PM
2

I don’t get the sense you’re really doing the whole thinking thing with this comment. “Oh wow, people rarely got divorced in the 1800s.” Conclusion: we should go back the gender dynamics we had back then.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 10:07 AM
1

Agreed! Goes for men’s preferences in women too.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 11:07 PM
7

I feel like women like a nerdy guy in the same way they like a man who cries. A few tears, and healthy occasional release of emotions is human, hot, and almost highlights masculinity through juxtaposition. But regular, multi-weekly ugly crying is not. My girlfriend cried for 15 minutes because the cat bit her. She would not find it hot if I did the same. Nerdy guys are hot as long as you’re the social guy who likes to play video games sometimes or get psyched when the new Star Wars comes out. No…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 08:31 PM
3

I think society creates expectations for women to be pure, virtuous, and good in a way it simply doesn’t for men. The narrative is to view women as mothers, caretakers, and nurturers, with little room to forgive trespasses against it. Guys on the other hand, we get a little more grace with that. Boys will be boys type thinking. I feel like your post is projecting that mentality a bit. I do feel like a lot of women make bad choices and misinterpret signals from guys, in an almost frustrating way,…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 06:46 PM
3

I’m not a red pill guy, but I feel like red pill is just super real politick, and feel like there are just some real mechanical drivers that motivate most of us - men and women - under the hood. I don’t get the feeling that most red pill think women are bad people, and if they do, it’s from a more extreme ideology.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 09:24 AM
1

I think general ownership of a bad decision. I think women in general are more shamed - either from themselves or from society externally - for sleeping with people than men, who tend to be commended for it. If a woman sleeps with someone that they’re not proud to have, nor would have in a sober state, it’s often beneficial to communicate to society - and themselves - that it wasn’t entirely in their control. In more extreme and rare cases of something like pregnancy from unprotected sex, it can…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 09:15 AM
1

I think they’re saying people, whether a man or a woman, are and should be held accountable for their actions while under the influence (unless blackout drunk and easily taken advantage of), even if it’s not a crime. People are adults and mistakes have repercussions, whether that’s breaking into someone’s house or choosing to have sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 08:38 AM
2

Lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 03:45 AM
5

Interesting viewpoint. I can see what you’re saying. People will still continue to do it though.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 03:32 AM
2

So… people shouldn’t have sex when they drink?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 03:21 AM
2

Well, like I said, blackout drunk is another story - people can barely function at that point. But if you mean just a bit tipsy or drunk-ish but very coherent, I think your framing of “getting someone to sign a contract” is the very issue. People, both men and women, make mistakes while drunk because it feels good at the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 03:03 AM
6

You’re getting a lot of shit for this lol. I think you framed it a bit as “why don’t people care about men who don’t give consent while drunk?” And that’s what people are reacting to. I think the hidden argument you’re making is: of course being black out drunk and being taken advantage of is unmistakeable-y bad. But, there’s this middle ground - having a bit of alcohol, but saying yes to doing things the person might not have otherwise - in which quite a few people would claim said person (usua…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 02:17 AM
1

I think there has been a collective still in approaching? Feels like just less people dating and having sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 05:48 PM
2

I understand that. But you switch between talking about things in general and specific things (which can be different between men and women). I can’t begin to imagine the experience that women go through for a LOT of things - what shapes their values, expectations, desires, how they move through the world. Most things really. And if you told me that I have NO idea what the beauty, fashion, and makeup world is like for women… I would agree - my reaction would not be that women don’t understand wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 05:46 PM
1

I agree they have this general lack of empathy and understanding around women’s unique experiences. But you posted about something specific. You said they claimed that women “only can say something about relationship, but have no idea what it actually takes for a man to get into one (or sex, doesn’t matter).” I don’t know if I’d apply that logic quite as much the other way around? Guys are the pursuers… we have to DO something. Of course women have to be attractive, and work hard toward that end…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 05:21 PM
0

Hmmm… I’ve seen red pill people agree with women about what they want. It’s just the ones that say “women want tall guys” and not the ones who say “all I want is a decent human being.” Also, one thing I’ll say is women aren’t forced to be the pursuers. It creates a lot of introspection about what you can do to find someone. I understand women also have to work towards being desired and all, but I think it’s different. Every guy has gone through trying things, almost in an A/B test kind of way, t…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 04:55 PM
2

Yeah I think your point about filling the void with other methods is insightful. Women tend to use social media more than man, and the platforms they use tend to be focused on lifestyle, socialization, and all that. It’s a really easy way to feel some of the benefits of socialization without taking on the risk; but the problem is the benefits are very one dimensional.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 07:59 AM
1

Yeah I think your point about filling the void with other methods is insightful. Women tend to use social media more than man, and the platforms they use tend to be focused on lifestyle, socialization, and all that. It’s a really easy way to feel some of the benefits of socialization without taking on the risk; but the problem is the benefits are very one dimensional.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 07:58 AM
1

I don’t know, but I’d imagine the coasts are more liberal and less traditional than the mountain areas. I think it’s just a traditional vs. not traditional thing. I think being chivalrous and doing things for women (that they can do on their own) is an expression of power IF it’s alongside other traditional values - like the male being head of the family, calling the shots, and taking care of everyone within it. But if you have a different social contract, it doesn’t really carry the same weight…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 07:38 AM
2

I mean… I don’t know if it’s just me, but isn’t this pretty obvious? It was kind of a consolation during a time when men had a lot more power in a relationship dynamic. I don’t think guys in relationships that are modern, where both the woman and the man work, take care of the household, and all that, are just dying to also just do things that she’s perfectly capable of doing herself.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 06:15 AM
–

I’m curious - why is this question aimed at red pill?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 03:47 AM
1

Yeah I agree. I think the gestures absolutely matter. That’s why I don’t like splitting bills… I’d rather trade off getting it, and not think about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 01:05 AM
5

I’m fairly new. A year or so. Oh wow. A decade?!? I thought she was like 20 years old.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 08:33 PM
5

Yeah I agree. It feels like something mental health related. I hope the mods do something because a. It’s probably healthiest for the user and b. It’s kind of inciting a lot of hate and antagonism on what is supposed to be a debate forum. I know there will naturally be contentious conversations that’ll evolve into anger and attitude… but posts and comments that incite that from the get go and aren’t rooted in logic are making this sub worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 07:57 PM
10

You wrote both posts. I’d hope it’s defined somewhat similarly.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 07:22 PM
9

Ahhh, a Lilith post. The signature “Jester,” “beta bux,” and “lady of the night” terminology. I’m confused because the other day you said guys shouldn’t complain about having to “play jester” because they’re limiting their options if they don’t. Now the assertion is that if they do, they’re not actually desired. Humans - both women and men - have a lot of desires. One of them is wanting to be loved and accepted for who they are. Another is sex and things that feel good. Sometimes it feels good w…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 06:13 PM
1

Yeah… idk… it bothers me too. I won’t lie. But part of it is catastrophic, dichotomous thinking. It’s fair to say oh that sucks, that sucks a lot… that you can’t kind of compare in a certain way and improve yourself to overcome it. But the next step, saying well I’m worthless or will be second across everything… is the unhelpful thinking. There’s always gonna be someone richer, smarter, more educated, better looking, taller, or younger. You can’t win on all the categories. That said, sex has to …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 02:55 AM
1

I don't know how long or intertwined your relationships were, but I think it's far from just wanting to hook up with other people. You have two people with separate lives, friends, interests goals, values, and ways of living - some form of them will exist EVEN if you're very aligned - merging into a shared life where you share a lot of the same decisions and outcomes. I was single a long time, and I miss a lot of freedoms - they just don't offset the benefit of having a partner. For example, dec…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 11:10 PM
–

What are you even talking about? Guys don’t say or think that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 07:17 PM
–

Sooo women don’t want to be taken out on dates? They don’t want a guy who puts in effort toward those things? So interesting! TIL everything I’m told is actually not true.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 06:59 PM
–

I don’t think guys are mad that their kindness and nice dates aren’t resulting in girlfriends/sex; I think they are frustrated that women claim that’s what they’re attracted to, while choosing other traits. Women have similar frustrations. As for the paying for sex, that’s generally frowned upon now… but historically guys haven’t been opposed to that kind of thing. Guys have no problem paying for it aside from the idea that it would be harmful to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 06:37 PM
2

Ah, gotcha. That’s cool. I have no idea what others are attracted to - I literally can’t know! And there’s so much variation. There are people out there sexually attracted to objects (there’s a show about it lol). I think where I come from is, as a guy who’s been alive a long time, I’ve seen the guys I know who tend to be initially successful with women, and the determining traits seem to be things like confidence, sociability, height, looks, education/competency, profession, and the way they dr…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 05:33 PM
2

Your example supports my point. No one is saying the only thing women are attracted to is looks - that’s a straw man. I think most men know this experientially. Women are absolutely attracted to status and the ability to provide as well. Education and competence, the examples you use, contribute to these categories, and I agree with you there. The title of this post is “good” men and the comment I was replying to was talking about attraction to “moral character,” which is very different than edu…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 05:10 PM
2

Yeah I think people get things conflated sometimes. I think finding someone to be a good person can make you LIKE them more, and love them more, and create high feelings that combine with sex, can make intimacy amazing. But that’s very different than the initial thing that made you sexually attracted. It’s an amplifier of intimacy not a creator of sexual attraction. I’m a guy, so I don’t actually know. Just observations.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 07:18 AM
5

Like an attractive trait to have in a lifelong companion, but not necessarily one that turns you on.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 06:27 AM
15

Thank you, I feel like a lot of women won’t admit this because it goes against a narrative. I feel like moral character is similar to how men find career/ambition in a woman…it’s awesome, respectful, and a valuable trait to have in a life partner. But it’s not sexually attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 04:49 AM
6

Can I ask what makes you feel like goodness is sexually attractive as opposed to logically attractive?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 04:47 AM
12

I mean I agree with you… for the most part. You’re going to get a lot of shit for that last statement because that’s a relative measure. For any one individual in a western country, though, I’d say things like their socioeconomic status they were born into, whether they were raised in a functional household, etc. has a far bigger impact on happiness and “success” than the ways in which the patriarchy harms them. Also, I don’t think it harms both sides equally because, again, that’s a tough compa…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 11:24 PM
3

Eventually maybe, but we're pretty far away from things functioning like an actual human. VR SOs are probably a bigger immediate threat.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 01:12 AM
1

Ahh ok. I see where it’s coming from.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 12:49 AM
2

That’s kind of harsh lol
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 12:35 AM
1

But like… you can’t DO anything with said ai models right?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 12:32 AM
4

That’s interesting for sure. I didn’t know about that research. I mean, society values and respects what’s difficult. For men, that tends to be getting sex. For women, it tends to be expressing restraint with all the options to get it. Not saying either is right or wrong. I think if there was a bunch of college athletes, doctors, or any other coveted group of men ditching real girlfriends and getting with AI, media headlines might have a slightly more respectable conclusion. But I don’t know, ev…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 05:25 PM
3

Yeah they will. Robotics is improving at a ridiculous speed.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 05:14 PM
–

Interesting observation! I think it’s happening for two reasons: As someone else also suggested, society sees getting dates, sex, and relationships as easy for women, and hard for men. So it’s going to tend to celebrate what looks like a choice (AI partners) for women and condemn what looks like a coping mechanism for men. I do think this id an example of a “women are wonderful” effect going on here, and society’s inclination to hold men accountable in a more critical way. Taking the same phenom…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 05:13 PM
1

I feel you. Lots of hypocrisy. The only thing I’ll say is it’s multi directional … men do the same thing; we just don’t see it as clearly because we’re a lot more adept and have reason to see it in women.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 05:05 PM
2

Yeah I think this is the answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 04:59 PM
1

Dang I hadn’t heard the term Overton Window before… I’m gonna use it all the time! Good way to describe a lot of phenomena.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 04:56 PM
–

I'd rather be a competent man than an average woman; or a competent woman than an average man. Yeah, we definitely have more control than we think. I feel like when people focus on issues, they get so wrapped up and laser focused with them that they feel they cause and explain almost all of their current place in life. But there are so many other, hard-to-pinpoint determinents of what makes you happy or not, successful or unsuccessful. Your health, how you were raised, your family, your looks, e…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:11 PM
–

Lol I feel like OP is showing a lot of one-sided thinking in his post, but I also think it's ironic that your response is the exact kind of societal response/treatment that he's frustrated men have to deal with.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 10:56 PM
7

I feel you... men do a lot. I don't know though, if I'm being honest, if there's that much society needs men specifically for, as opposed to just people. Especially with humanoid robots and all around the corner. The extra physical strength doesn't add that much. But hey, with technology evolving at the speed it is, artificial wombs might be there in a few decades and women could lose their gender-specific value add as well. Overall though it feels like it's kind of a silly thing to focus on bec…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 10:29 PM
2

Yeah, I feel that - not advocating for being with someone you don't like, whether you are a guy or a gal. But, for a non-shitty relationship, I do think that we can tend to underestimate the benefits that someone provides... things like companionship, friendship, shared experiences, and all that. I like being alone and by myself a lot right now, partially because I'm young-ish and don't like to limit my freedom. But, when I'm thinking long term, I don't know if that'll hold up.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 10:16 PM
2

Yeah I do kind of agree with this. I think it's a "thing" right now. We don't need men, fuck the patriarchy, and all that. It's kind of a badge to be single and independent as a woman, and to do it by choice. Right now, people gain something from it - a sense of meaning, a sense of purpose, a feeling of freedom and choice. But I do think as the societal pendulum shifts, as it always does, and what's romanticized today is no longer romanticized, people will feel it more. You feel the pain when th…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 07:04 PM
6

We don't? Lol I feel like that's the thing guys - or anyone really - wants: to love and to be loved.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 06:47 PM
–

I think the feeling, from the perspective of a lot of guys, is like this: working to survive and thrive is kind of THE thing in life. It's the main hardship, the main struggle, the main thing we're all trying to do. And, you're an adult, so you should do it, in some way shape or form. If you're a stay at home mom keeping 4 unruly kids in check, and it makes sense financially, that's fine. We don't want to infantilize women, which I think everyone agrees on, and likewise we shouldn't be proponent…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 06:44 PM
2

Huh?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 06:19 PM
2

Because... their only point is to get a woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 06:17 PM
1

It really is man. I take a deep breath before I get on here and I try to stay nuanced and just glean from any takes I haven't thought about. And yeah, of course women care about physical attraction and attraction in general... women get turned on and stuff all the same. It's not selfish at all for a guy to be wanted in that way - to be wanted passionately instead of just logically. Only one thing I'll say on physical attraction is sometimes I think maybe women view it as more of a currency for s…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 06:02 PM
3

I do have those other qualities... I just don't wanna be beta bux
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 05:35 PM
3

Yeah I think what you're saying is the thing. Men observe how women CAN act and draw conclusions. We've all had friends who are studs and women absolutely fawn over. So if that capacity is there I don't see why it's a bad thing to want to be wanted? Maybe I'm missing something. Maybe even that feeling doesn't feel the same way for woman as it does for men, and we're projecting. But my observed experience doesn't say that.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 05:34 PM
3

It's not THE thing you should get married for but isn't it a thing? Love, intimacy? If the only goal was to raise a kid and partner with someone I got along with and was financially stable with I'd do it with my brother. Plenty of kids out there need to be adopted.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 05:30 PM
4

Baseline attraction is fine if it’s a seed that can be genuinely grown on. I know a lot of people don’t feel a full sense of attraction until they get to know someone better. Baseline attraction is not fine if it’s just a compromise. I.e they have all the other qualities I’m looking for, I’ll put up with and tolerate my level of passion and attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 06:03 AM
19

Most guys I know would be pretty dang happy with a woman offering to pay. I think it’s the expectation that the guy pays, so if a woman insists on paying (as opposed to just offering), sometimes it can be seen as a bit of a rejection or a signal the date isn’t going great. It’s a feeling of, “oh she might feel bad letting me pay because she saw this as a date that’s going nowhere and feels bad for letting me pay.” But in general they should be able to read between the lines and also there’s no r…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 09:39 PM
6

Of course they do. Where else do very strong feelings come from? They’re much more likely to come from experiences, hurt, trauma, and arise from defense mechanisms than they are to come from an unbiased observation of facts. They’re also not always completely wrong or useless, they can just be very over-exaggerated or incorrectly applied to all contexts instead of just the one you’re noticing it in. For example, you thinking a certain way about men might help you in ways - maybe realizing that t…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 02:57 AM
1

I think you get what I’m saying. They lost relative voting power (which is a good thing). They didn’t lose actual voting rights in terms of a stepwise loss, yes, but it’s possible to lose something without losing so much as to cross a certain boundary. Otherwise why would the powers that be fight it? It’s a hold on power.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 11:27 PM
0

I understand you have a strong point of view, which is great, but this is supposed to be a debate forum, and you don’t actually debate the points using with logic. It’s not constructive. On a personal level, look, I get that you’re super angry and pissed off. I see your pain and I feel bad. But the world is bigger than just annoying people on this forum and on Reddit. There’s a lot of shitty people, great people, caring people, and psychopaths across all groups and types of individuals in life.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 11:10 PM
0

Ah yes, your daily hate thread.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 10:50 PM
1

That’s fine, and I agree that I don’t have sympathy for shitty institutions that lose something they initially took. But that’s a different point and not one we’re taking about in this particular thread.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 10:48 PM
0

I mean… yeah… that’s one reason why a lot of guys put up with shitty behavior in a relationship? Is this shocking to anyone?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 10:30 PM
1

I mean, yeah I 100% agree with your second statement. It was stolen and it wasn’t rightfully theirs. But they can still lose something that’s not rightfully theirs, and that’s the part that dictates the relational dynamic of being a zero sum game or not. The British empire, for example, “lost” something when it lost its colonies, even if they were not rightfully theirs to begin with.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 09:58 PM
1

Yes it is. When women got to vote, men proportionally lost the power they had to control the governments agenda, AS THEY SHOULD. Shit was simply not fair, and the power distribution there wasn’t balanced. (Also, I guess I meant a two party zero sum game vs. a multi party one)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 08:28 PM
3

First, it’s a zero sum game when you effectively have two genders in space people are speaking about. If the claim is that women make $.73 to the dollar compared to men, it’s a very valid claim, but in that context “women aren’t paid enough” and “men are paid too much” are equivalent, because it’s a zero sum game. In politics when it comes down to two candidates, the debates and arguments tend to intensify and get more personal. A major reason is because one candidate saying they’re “the candida…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 06:34 PM
1

Yeah, and I can’t stand the men who see women that way. A lot of men see women as their sacrificial mothers and a lot of women see men as their dads.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 01:53 AM
1

I mean that’s exactly my point. All those things are symbols. For the record, I’m not talking about first dates here - OP just said “dates.” I always pay for the first date, as do most guys I know, and if I was a woman, I wouldn’t really want to go on another date if the guy didn’t pay. I’d take that as a sign. Similarly, as a guy, you see a spectrum of people - those who don’t even make a move or gesture when the bill comes, those who don’t say thank you or appreciate it, those who continue to …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 01:52 AM
1

LOL who actually says they are playing jester? Who talks like this!? I don't know, who knows, maybe you're right and I'm tripping. Good luck with it all.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 11:29 PM
1

I don't know if it's too superficial. I always pay for the first series of dates, and I always insist - I want someone I'm seeing to feel they're special. But one thing I've noticed is the women who fully expect it, order very expensive things, and don't do the courtesy offer to pay, TEND to also be the people who have similar expectations when it comes to financial contribution down the line. Not commenting on whether it's right or wrong to have those expectations, but it is a value that you wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 11:21 PM
1

Alright, I'm getting the feeling that you're really angry, and you're wanting to express that rather than debate points. I really do hope you find some peace with it all.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 11:00 PM
1

I'm confused why you just post a random video of something a guy did that pisses you off? That has no context. Look, even in the quote you just posted, you're essentially saying the following: most women know very decent women who don't need a guy to humiliate themselves for them to like him... but he has to be appealing to them. You don't mention WHAT would make him appealing, like personality; you simply start with an example of paying for dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 10:49 PM
1

I'm sorry... I think if the entire sub struggles to read what you're writing, it might be your writing. Again, you mention playing jester, but you don't talk about personality even in the quote you just posted. Am I going crazy?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 10:41 PM
3

Dude you're projecting. There are certain experiences you want to have that might be a bit easier for women than you. Not everyone values those experiences so much, and many might value what you're able to do. Traveling solo as a dude is so much easier in most parts of the world... just from a simple safety standpoint.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 10:37 PM
1

Wait WHERE did you talk about personality?? lmao. All you say is it's easy to see why he's left with crumbs. The only actual example you use in your entire post is the one about paying for dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 10:33 PM
1

"...If men hate paying for dates so much, dont. In the USA, about 1 in 4 women in relationships paid for herself….but its a matter of if guys want to be left with those types of women and wants to adapt to be what those women want in a man. If men were actually dealing with a lack of options, they would do things that would make them more liked across as many women as possible..."
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 10:23 PM
1

Can you show me a very upvoted comment saying guys will literally take any woman? So you're essentially saying dudes are choosing to limit their options because they don't wanna pay for all the dates?? Wut. the logic is wild. It's like saying the reason some women can't find good quality men is because they don't want to cook and clean.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 10:20 PM
1

I don't really see that many people here saying that, to be honest. Maybe a few, but it's not the prevailing sentiment. I think people are essentially saying that men have fewer options (not none whatsoever) for getting dates and women are pickier, given that. Of course men want to find someone who is compatible. They're saying the above makes it harder to do so... not that they'll take any woman who draws a breath.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 10:08 PM
1

Most of us won't admit that we have to find someone whose values are aligned? And a value of not wanting to pay every single time is a shitty value that's incompatible with most women?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 10:01 PM
1

I get what you're saying. If guys can increase their options by paying for dates, they should, right? But they complain about it But the thing is it's not JUST about increasing options. It's not just the economics of supply and demand. You have to also find someone whose values are aligned, and that's a whole conversation in itself. Guys also want a compatible and quality partnership.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 09:53 PM
2

One thing that I can’t stand is certain types of “greater good” people, who care so much about people in terms of stats, figures, and their own values and viewpoints, but then treat the actual people around them like shit. From what I’ve seen, there are people like this everywhere - from the Elon Musks of the word to a ton of liberal virtue signalers. I think it’s just a lack of empathy in some people, and it can exist wherever you go.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 09:36 PM
2

Wait why wouldn’t men be ready to head “glad I was free to choose love of my life without caring for how much he earns”?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 09:53 AM
–

Yeah, I’m not a fan of housewives either if we’re talking about an equal world.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 10:44 PM
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Yeah that’s the thing. Also, in dynamics where it’s a zero sum game (i.e two political parties, men/women), saying on thing about one group often implies something about the other group.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 07:58 PM
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Interesting! Ok I’m glad to hear that! I’m around a lot of younger doctors, and I can’t quite tell how it’s shaping out in terms who the women vs. men are dating and selecting. It’s confusing sometimes because I’ve always heard that seeking a well suited financial partner is not just a logical want, but also something women are attracted to… going back to evolutionary shit, provider to bring back resources while pregnant yada yada. But, maybe that just means not being with a deadbeat, not necess…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 07:01 PM
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Yeah lol… I mean having a job is essentially taking care of yourself financially. Someone without one is weighing you down… why would someone want that.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 06:34 PM
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Like what questions?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 06:32 PM
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For sure, I like that. I think a good thought experiment is if you are a rich ass millionaire who could just have a kid and have a full time nanny at the press of a button, who would you want to spend your time with? That kind of separates the need from the want completely. Of course it’s not that simple but it’s a nice little thought experiment.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 06:28 PM
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Yeah that’s true. I like that way of looking at it. Do you see women dating men who they “like” more now? Honest questioned, I’m a bit older, and I don’t know if younger women are dating men for kinder personalities now or if they’re still attracted to provider mentalities.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 06:13 PM
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I think this is the thing that has always frustrated me about women saying this - it implies that’s the only reason they valued a relationship and men, and that they’d been forced to do something they never wanted to. It’s like if women all of a sudden couldn’t make babies anymore, or there were artificial wombs… I’d still want to be with a woman for like… companionship, love, intimacy, and all that stuff. I like them.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 05:49 PM
1

I’m sorry but you’re not interacting with the logical premise of what people are saying, including the point I just made. Feels like you’re just angry and posting the stuff that makes you mad. I’m not saying that no one in the history of the world has never said “I don’t want to be beta bux” (lol), I’m saying that “take me as I am” is not a very common sentiment among dudes, and the screenshot your posted doesn’t disprove that at all… it confirms it.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 05:39 PM
1

lol I don’t know what this guy is on about. Reddit, and this sub especially, is NOT a good reflection of people in the real world. It’s good for some little debate now and then, but not for forming an opinion of the world. That said, I think this guy is countering your point? He’s saying he doesn’t want to be the guy that a woman settles for because it’s the practical/logical thing to do. That’s the opposite of “take me as I am.”
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 04:47 PM
1

That’s an interesting concept. There was one “way” back then, but now there isn’t. It’s hard to know how to act when the system in which you do it isn’t really set in place. How do you mean it wasn’t about responsibility, though? I do feel like guys are told you’re on your own a bit more.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 05:52 AM
2

What is the “same as you” exactly?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 02:31 AM
1

That’s great, it’s a smart thing to do! I’m not saying women don’t improve themselves and men do. I think the fact that we both do suggests that deep down everyone knows self improvement is key. I am saying, though, that there’s a societal narrative that women shouldn’t have to, whereas for men, it’s just the expectation. The first thing after a breakup your friends and family will tell you is: gym, hit it hard if you want to find someone else. I think women do the same thing, ultimately, but it…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 11:50 PM
3

I mean… yeah good point. I think it’s less of a “take me as I am” self acceptance type thing and more of a “your standards are too high”. But yeah in general I don’t see it happening that much.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 10:26 PM
3

LOL I’ve never heard someone say “I don’t want to be a beta bux” either. I agree with you that men used to be able to get a good job, and women would be interested in them, and now that doesn’t feel as realistic. But the thing is, it doesn’t feel unrealistic because women just don’t care about a guys career anymore as a mark of attraction; it feels unrealistic because the bar for this has increased dramatically as women earn a lot too.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 09:12 PM
6

I think it’s a very recent phenomena where men are starting to say “take me as I am.” Historically, and in general, it’s very much a male thing to internalize that you’re the problem, and you’re the solution. You’re kind of taught from an early age that no one is coming to save you. People respond more to crying baby girls than crying baby boys - that’s how early it starts. If you want girls, find a way to better yourself. If you want to have a certain lifestyle, find a way to make money. So app…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 08:25 PM
1

I don’t think it magically appeared out of thin air, but I think humans want to personify societal problems and assign fault or blame to people - it’s the way we’re wired. But individuals often aren’t doing anything very wrong. Like, where do you draw the line? A billionaire lobbying for lower taxes… yeah, that person sucks, sure. But what about a CEO who didn’t have much to begin with and worked their ass off to get there? A doctor who has rich parents? A doctor whose parents didn’t even go to …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 05:58 PM
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You’re thinking about objectification too literally. It’s a spectrum. On one side, it’s valuing the other person solely for what they can give you, like you would in object; on the other, it’s through the lens of complete empathy where their pain is greater than your pain, and what you “get” from them isn’t the main source of the connection. Both men and women objectify each other. Women tend to become sex objects, men tend to be success objects.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 05:20 PM
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Well said
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 05:09 PM
0

How so? I’m curious how you mean that in a way that isn’t happening with the example at hand.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 12:27 AM
5

It’s about the intent behind the communication. Men can be more blunt with each other. “Your haircut sucks” might be said to clown on a bro, but ultimately we’re just creating a space of trust, joviality, and a feeling of respect. Sometimes guys just have let each other know they’re here and it’s a bit of a dick waving contest tbh… but everyone does it to each other and you feel like you’re with company that you both like, respect, and can trust. The thing is male/female relationships aren’t lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 11:43 PM
16

No one is entitled to much really, and the whole “deserve” thing is a little ridiculous too. I cringe a bit anytime I hear someone say “I deserve…”. I think this is just a classic example of people hating the player when they should hate the game. Unfairness in society is rampant, and this is just one example of it. It’s not fair someone was born ugly, it’s not fair someone wasn’t born into wealth, yada yada. We shouldn’t hate the rich and pretty people, we should hate the system that created it…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 06:37 PM
12

lol here’s the thing. A lot of women want ALL of what you’re saying, not just one thing. You can’t be the funny guy who’s poor, short and ugly. Guys don’t really need someone who looks a model. Most guys I know feel most women could easily be attractive if they just stayed somewhat in shape (not even super skinny) in a reasonable and attainable way. I think it’s the competition women have that exists along one axis (looks) that’s blown expectations out of proportion. But most men I know are attr…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 05:14 PM
20

That’s my point though. For women, the act of sex is cheap, it’s easy to get. It alone without a qualifier isn’t much. If it’s good, then it’s awesome. For guys, the act of sex itself can mean a lot. The thrill of validation, being wanted, getting something that was hard to get. It’s kind of hard to separate that from the overall feeling. I don’t think women realize the actual quality of sex can be really meh for guys too, and access to great sex is pretty equal across the genders… it’s just the…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 08:06 PM
23

I think the thing is a lot of guys do have trouble getting laid… it’s quite the learned skill, and things like attractiveness, career, confidence, and all that do come into play. It’s something you have to learn over years, and sometimes never if you didn’t have the right values to get you there. It’s hard. That’s the part I don’t think women understand. But what a lot of men don’t understand IS that women don’t understand this. Just from your post, I can tell that you’re putting women on this d…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 05:16 PM
1

Yeah you’re saying men have to sift through quantity first and then quality too. I get that.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 11:26 PM
1

That’s very fair. But I will say, our bodies and minds see pain relatively too. Depression, for example, is a very real problem for lot of people who have things objectively better compared to starving people in poorer countries. Anxiety from being bombarded with social media messaging about the world ending is real, even if the people reading it have a nice roof over their head. That said, I get what you’re saying. One of the problems is society tells men to deal with things by just “manning up…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 11:22 PM
1

Huh? No… the point is life isn’t exactly perfectly fair and symmetrical. Like I said there are unique issues men face that don’t get any sympathy, especially younger guys who don’t have resources yet. But I wouldn’t say ONLY men have dating issues (especially when looking across all ages), which is the title of this entire post. Your steak and lobster analogy is the type of reductionist logic that removes any nuance. That’s like me saying “men do not have relationship issues because issues for w…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 11:17 PM
5

I think it’s more-so there is an equilibrium based on value and effort. It’s like in economics. Everyone is trying to get best THEY possibly can subconsciously.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 03:00 AM
4

My bad!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 12:04 AM
6

I’m confused… isn’t that what I’m saying? Maybe I didn’t write it up well.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 11:53 PM
5

I don’t think as many men hate women as women hate men. Not even saying that it’s unjustified. I think more women hate men than vice versa because of the amount of on directional sexual assault, rape, physical abuse, and all that; and now its kind of turned into a collective conflagration and is spreading even more. It’s a reaction to being hurt. I think a smaller group of men hate women from things like the above as well as the incel archetype who’s pissed off they can’t get laid and blames it …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 08:58 PM
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Women have dating issues too. The problem with your argument is you’re projecting your developed value system onto everyone else. Everyone is fighting for what’s valuable to them, and scarcity is one of the things that makes it so. For women, a lot of the things you’re talking about - like sex and validation - are really cheap. They are fairly easy to get. For them it’s more about navigating the waters of being only wanted for those things. That said, I do think there is a sympathy gap between m…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:26 PM
1

I don’t understand where comments like this come from honestly. It’s just steeped in this angry, take-it-or-leave-it mentality. Of course the relationship changes, but why does it all of a sudden have to mean one person should accept not being prioritized? Or that there’s no nuance? If you have a good relationship, having kids will absolutely change the nature of it for BOTH of you.. and the kids will be the first priority for BOTH of you… but it evolves and adapts, and ideally involves two peop…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 04:22 PM
1

I think if you have a textbook romance in your mind, yeah it probably will be.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 04:01 PM
4

I think you’re projecting. When young it feels like women are into purely looks and go for the quarterback, then people get older and they all of a sudden go for the slightly older dudes who have it put together, so it feels like oh they were going for what they really wanted while they were younger and now are settling for safety. But it was never like that… they were always attracted to a combination of looks, confidence, success, and all that… but young guys in their early 20s etc. just don’t…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 11:34 PM
2

I mean… scratching the itch is actually a terrible term, because it implies there’s an itch. I shouldn’t have used that. More-so they’re going to have had experiences that are different than they are with you, and that’s ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 10:04 PM
2

That’s fair! I think it’s just how things read sometimes. If you read between the lines I’m kind of saying women don’t owe men a relationship if they don’t want to be in one, and men aren’t always going to get a relationship even if they want it, and that’s ok. I’m not saying something like abuse is ok in a partnership because no one owes anyone anything in relationships. Have a great night.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 08:37 PM
4

Yeah I think that’s fair in general… but I also think guys judge themselves so much based on our ability to be successful and the best in the bedroom, that it doesn’t leave much room for multiple things being true. She might, for example, have felt a certain feeling with a specific person at a certain time. Maybe getting over a breakup, casual fling, she was on vacation… and it can be difficult to recreate certain feelings with the person she’s with now, even if they’re equally passionate but in…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 08:24 PM
2

Hey, I think I meant it in relation to the context, as we’re talking about relationship pressures, societal pressures of having kids, getting married, all that. It’s a bit hyperbolic of an expression, and taken out of context I think it sounds like an absolute and then gets into philosophical territory. Context matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 08:12 PM
8

People should do what they want to. No one owes anybody anything, and people don’t always get exactly what they want. The only thing I’ll say, as a slightly older (I guess?) guy is it’s important to make sure it’s actually what you want and isn’t stemming from push back against other people or societal narratives.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 06:00 PM
2

Love and companionship? Finding someone to raise kids with, partner through life with, and grow old with? I don’t understand this logic sometimes because it reduces the ENTIRE partnership to the differences in what gender can provide. I do feel like women bear the physical risk of pregnancy and all that, and a guy should take the onus to make up for that somehow - be the primary breadwinner during those years, or whatever it may be. On sex, I mean, do women really dislike sex that much, or is it…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:37 PM
1

Re the nervous man… I hear you, but he’s not actually becoming thaaat much more confident… he’s learning how to do a thing. It’s not going to make him more confident and sure of his self-worth in relation to his overbearing, angry, high-expectation father. I think that tension you described for women w/“men like bitches” is true and valid… and thanks for the description, it was really interesting to read that nuance of a perspective I don’t have, and I hadn’t thought about it quite that way. I b…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 05:33 PM
1

I agree with some of what you’re saying for sure, but also disagree with some of it. As a guy you kind of see what works and what doesn’t because you test it a million times. I think it’s similar to men who say they don’t care if women wear makeup or dress in PJs, but women can kind of sense how they’re perceived when they make these incremental changes. In your example - the shy introverted man pushing through - it only works if you don’t show nervousness; it’s not just taking the act. Imagine …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 05:08 PM
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If you look hard enough and analyze anything, you’ll find inequalities and injustices. Just zoom out. In most societies during the time periods you speak of, women were quite literally owned by men.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 01:10 AM
1

I get what you’re saying in the context of relationships, because there’s a certain dynamic and women, on average, want men to take care of them in romantic relationships. I don’t feel like this applies to work though. I’ve never had that problem at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 11:13 PM
1

My feeling is women WANT feminist men and guys who care about women’s rights and all. That’s binary. But they aren’t necessarily ATTRACTED to that. Where it gets confusing is they are, on average, seemingly more attracted to more masculine (sometimes even traditional) gender roles. That attraction does fuel a less feminist and more patriarchal world.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 11:04 PM
4

It’s funny because women assume it’s obvious to men that someone who does things and is productive is attractive. Men don’t really care about that in a woman when it comes to attractiveness. So they project their own desires onto what they feel women may look for. Everyone just be projecting. What a world.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 05:28 PM
21

Yea I think it’s subtly but strongly communicated that getting girls = winning. Now that I’m a no-longer-young guy with a still healthy libido, it’s easier to see which parts were biological and which parts were socially influenced.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 06:33 PM
6

I think the problem men and women have with empathizing with each others’ dating woes is the woes themselves have a world of context behind them… deep, structural context that has shaped peoples value systems, beliefs, feelings of self worth, and all that. Yet we just compare the leaves of a much larger tree. I think to understand annoyances that men go through, you have to foundationally understand what it is like to experience life as a man; same thing vice versa. I think ultimately, everyone …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 06:12 AM
2

I think it’s fine to be attracted to talent, but “competence” makes it sound like it’s such a low bar. Being able to get up, go to work, and effectively take care of your tasks and needs is basic, but what OP is referring to talent and skills. As a guy you learn that even the little things matter. Let’s say you go to an arcade for a first date… a woman will have a tinge more attraction to you if you win most of the games you two play, and a tinge less if you lose to her in everything. It’s not m…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 07:20 PM
1

I don’t think LoopyPro is saying that though? At least I don’t see that in their comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 02:38 AM
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I agree. I think the mass popularization of therapy speak and psychology terms, in this age where communication is done through attention grabbing headlines and reposts, has really created a climate where people can warp meaning in order to have it suit themselves. One example is I think a lot (not all) of therapy is simply validation. People go into it, get their feelings validated through a professional, and consider themselves “healed”. I say this as someone who loves therapy, and had gone th…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 09:44 PM
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Eh don’t you think women do too? it’s just not a popular thing to say or project right now.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 02:38 AM
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Most women know this, and don’t think it’s disgusting. They want it too, even if it needs to be approached differently for them. I wish I was younger when I realized it’s not sex they don’t want or find off putting - it’s manipulation or lying to get in their pants, caring about them purely sexually, and not understanding how they might be turned on.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 04:41 AM
17

Hmmm. Speaking personally, and not for all dudes, I don’t care if a woman can have sex with someone and not give a fuck about the person. That’s fine, it’s actually kind of relatable, and kind of refreshing. I think there are two things that frustrate men about this concept: A feeling that the men women want to fuck and date are different and mutually exclusive. I.e the best sexual experience might be with 6’3 six pack Chad on a holiday trip to Italy, but the best date option might be 5’10 guy w…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 10:06 PM
1

I feel like it absolutely makes a difference, but I know the type you’re talking about.. it comes across as too try hard, and in a club or busy bar the things that tend to stand out are being a head taller than others etc. I think the calculus is different in different settings.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 09:16 PM
20

I think it’s pretty simple tbh. Men aren’t attracted to where women work or what they do, but logically it matters in a partnership to have someone contribute financially; women aren’t attracted to men doing laundry, but logically it matters to have them split the chores and housework. We live in this world where the things wanted for a partnership aren’t the things that also attract you.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 07:15 PM
1

Ahhh I gotcha. Yeah that makes sense. I just want my gal to lust after me. I can’t tell sometimes if she does or if it’s a “acceptable” type situation. Hard to tell when externalities like stress, being together a long time, etc. get in the way.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 06:39 PM
1

Interesting. I think that’s what the main OP is questioning though. Love is usually something in long term relationships. I don’t know if men lose their lust in a LTR to be honest. Provided everyone is taking care of themselves and aging decently. I’ve always felt more attracted to my partner in a LTR and lusted for them because of our depth - we’re best friends, we’re so close, and this is an expression of that. Whereas I’m not sure if it’s the same for them - it feels like they need a little n…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 03:06 PM
1

I think the confusion is too much familiarity and comfort seems to be a turn off to a lot of women, more than it is for men. Women tend to have a responsive arousal as opposed to a spontaneous one, and you often hear that boredom and things getting too routine has led to a lack of attraction/passion in long term relationships. A fairly common relationship pattern is over time a couple has less sex - especially as daily life and kids get in the way - and it’s usually the guy who wishes there was …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 02:42 PM
1

Curious what you mean about not likely to be extremely sexy - is there any reason?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 02:19 PM
2

It definitely was a missed opportunity. I did cite other reasons after, but I think she believed my first reaction was the honest one. Part of it is I feel like she was so concerned about people being with her just for how she looked, that I hit a real nerve there. I was young, and I wasn’t happy about how I looked at the time. Any compliment about someone being attracted to me would have me walking on cloud 9 for a week. I was too naive to realize that other people can have completely different…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 07:08 PM
3

I think standards for men (and women) are just completely different based on if someone is looking for sex vs. a relationship (and love). When a guy is trying to get laid, sex is scarce and is hard to get, so guys cast a wide net and try to get what they can. When a gal is trying to get laid, it’s a lot easier, so they’re generally more selective. There are some biological differences in sex drives I’m sure, but not trying to get into that rn. When they want a relationship or life partner, I thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 04:53 PM
2

I think that’s really smart, and a great filter. It’s funny my first girlfriend left me after she asked this exact question, and I answered that I thought she was beautiful. I liked her for so many other reasons, but I thought this was the one she would want to hear, lol. I was young and naive.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 04:40 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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