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Thrownaway_marriage Archive

View 1 posts and 51 comments by Thrownaway_marriage on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
22

Thrownaway_marriage/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 02:13 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

I was very confused by it, mainly by discovering what was going on and the choices my ex-wife had made leading up to me filing. However, the biggest revelation through my divorce was the sense of relief. The ability to come home and not feel tense, not feel like I had to walk on eggshells for someone else. I had not realized how toxic she was until she was gone. Having my kids in the house and us just being able to relax as a family. It really made me wonder how they had felt beforehand and how …
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 06:31 AM
9

Going through the same type of thing. AP and Ex broke up soon after the divorce was final. I've been seeing a woman for about a year and am very happy. As soon as Ex found out I was dating the co-parenting situation began to be very contentious. Where before we had a working situation, and would try to do something together with the kids once in awhile. Now, anytime I can't bend over backwards to accommodate a change she wants, then it's because of my girlfriend. I got all the kids back to schoo…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 09:23 PM
3

We ended up having to submit our proposals to the court. We each wanted M-F. I live within walking distance to their school and work about 10 mins away. She was commuting 45 mins way and had moved outside the school district. The court still decided 50/50 was better. I see them every day, though. The ex can't make her schedule work without me picking up the kids from school, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/24 10:03 PM
1

Your sexlife with your spouse is an unimportant topic?
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 07:26 PM
3

This is a much more common issue than a lot of people make it out to be. Both men and women experience it. There a subreddit where people discuss it. I would encourage you to check it out so that you know you're not alone.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 07:26 PM
3

Good point. From experience and reading through a lot of others on the dead bedroom subreddit, it seems like everyone wants to ignore it. There's a lot of gaslighting that goes on when this issue gets brought up. The first is people are told the issue doesn't exist, there's nothing wrong, or the person trying to initiate is just a pervert who wants too much sex. This is an immediate red flag because your partner isn't valuing your viewpoint. If they refuse to see or work on, it's almost always a…
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 07:18 PM
2

You may feel embarrassed by it, but that's a completely valid reason. If your emotional and physical needs aren't being met, and you've tried to correct this with your partner, why would you stay and continue to be abused? After trying to deal with my dead bedroom. I found out the ex had started an affair with a coworker she'd known for a month. Lied to me for YEARS about our situation, just to turn around and cheat. Filed immediately and haven't looked back. Wish I'd done it MUCH sooner.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 07:08 PM
1

Where are you at that still allows one member to just not sign?
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/24 03:58 AM
5

I'm going through the divorce right now. And it's been eye-opening to realize how little effort she put into things and how badly she would treat me when upset. I had always just stayed away from her. Some of our worst fights were when she was upset about something and tried to take it out on me. But now I see light at the end of the tunnel.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 05:42 PM
6

Please tell me that you didn't respond. Don't engage with crazy people, especially when they try to shift blame to you.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 01:50 AM
4

When I saw the messages to the "just a friend" coworker. There was no going back from that. In just a couple months of working together she had decided to have an affair and throw away 11 years of marriage. What had changed? We were actually in a better spot than we had been in awhile. Had to relocate for work, and that was rough, but we were making better money and finally getting ahead. As soon as she started seeing real good progress at the gym and got some attention from guys, I guess she de…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 04:54 AM
14

At 6 months, I would say she's bringing him hoping to elicit a reaction from you. Just stay focused on you and your self improvement.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 08:54 PM
1

You won't get off child support, but it'll be nice to get the alimony stopped
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 11:51 PM
8

I'm telling you, divorce is the cesspool of human interactions. My STBX and I had been progressing relatively amicably. We were supposed to have a hearing for a temporary parenting plan. She's filed a counter proposal, so the court had set 2 dates, the earlier one for mine and 2 weeks later for hers. Her lawyer contacted mine suggesting that we combine so that we only go to court once, we agree. STBX starts freaking out about how I am delaying this. That this keeps getting drawn out and she can'…
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 09:42 PM
5

My brother had a very bitter divorce and his son was very young at the time. My nephew was first close to his mom, but grew to learn that she wasn't the best person. By this time, my brother had remarried and had 2 kids with his current wife. His relationship with his oldest was strained and has only improved slightly. Things never cooled off with his ex-wife. I'm in the middle of my divorce. Some days she acts like she wants to be amicable and others she's trying to get every penny she can and …
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 02:45 AM
2

They will WANT all that you have. What they will GET depends on you and your lawyer. When a friend went through his divorce, the judge stopped her attorney in the middle of listing what they wanted, and mentioned that they were getting beyond what was financially possible and that they were being unreasonable
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 08:40 PM
6

When I confronted mine about her affair, she said, "I think I just got so excited that other men were giving me attention." Never said I didn't give her enough. Told everyone else she was unhappy, but kept telling me she wanted to work on things and that she was happy. You can't fix anything with a person that tells you nothing is wrong while badmouthing you to her friends. Went minimal contact, only about the kids. Hopefully this gets wrapped up soon.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 11:49 PM
2

Yeah, it'd be something to drop at a post office pickup with no return address.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 09:05 PM
3

I mean, if she got an anonymous package with documentation of his DV convictions, thats just by chance. A lot of people will say not to involve yourself, but personally I think of it as looking out for your kids. If she's aware and continues to see him, then that's on her.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 08:42 PM
2

Only because I know it would break my kids' hearts if I let her drown. Now, if she just happened to have an accident, I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 02:55 AM
3

Don't forget the fact that each subsequent marriage has an even higher rate of divorce statistically. If I didn't beat the odds the first time, why would I imagine I'm going to beat eve worse odds?! It's now a gambling problem.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 07:49 PM
5

Do NOT give her another chance!! You even put that she is a serial cheater/sexter. She's just upset she doesn't have a comfortable person to take care of her
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 04:07 AM
5

At 11 years, only difference is I found out and filed
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 07:54 PM
3

Realizing your mistakes is the first step in making progress. Don't be so hard on yourself. Reset and be ready to re-engage.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 01:05 AM
1

Exercise and get into individual counseling. It's amazing how just talking about it and laying things out can help you organize your thoughts. You'll most likely need some legal advice. If you have kids, maximize your time with them and make some memories.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 11:36 PM
1

It's an awful situation that most people aren't equipped to deal with well. We all try our best and make mistakes. I'm here if you want to bullshit about the crazy shit our STBX's do.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 08:03 PM
8

FFS, if you are upset and depressed, how do you think your 2 little girls are feeling seeing their parents in this state. Get the divorce and focus on your kids. This is what I was worried about when my STBXW said she wanted to reconcile, acted nice, and told me that I should cancel the divorce. Luckily I have not. Still some road to go. You can do it. Stop confusing the woman you are with and the woman you married. You know they're 2 different people.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 06:42 AM
3

By knowing that they have to deal with her shit now. No abuse, no nagging about non-existent issues, just having peace finally. I'll take knowing she's moved on over having the constant anxiety of wondering which personality I'll have to deal with.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 02:58 AM
2

You were in an abusive relationship. Her threatening and breaking things isn't a normal way of dealing with a spouse. If the roles were reversed and you were doing these things, people would be telling her to get out. You need to get into therapy. You've gone through a lot of things and it will definitely help. I started when I found out my wife was cheating on me, and it helped me immensely. You don't see your value as a person since you wife was abusive. Realize you've done the hard part. Now …
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 10:42 AM
5

This is how I ended up discovering my wife's affair with her "just friend" from work. She had just started this job recently and kept mentioning him and how helpful he was. I made a joke about it, like I've done about some of her past male coworkers, but this time her defensive response was over the top. After that day, she never mentioned him when talking about work again.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 05:43 PM
7

There's a whole subreddit deadbedrooms for this. A SHOCKING amount of people deal with this on the daily.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 01:12 AM
6

One had even wanted $40/hr per kid. No wonder everyone is broke after paying for daycare or a nanny.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 08:57 PM
5

Yeah, last one I priced in this area wanted 20/hr per kid.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 08:54 PM
16

Holy crap! That's an amazing nanny rate
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 08:29 PM
10

You are more than your relationship with one person. We all seem to forget this when we work so hard building that life up. I hope you find something new that you enjoy. I know I've found it hard to put the glass down after finding out about my STBX's affair. Remember that this world is better with you in it, and I'm sure your sister would rather see you, even depressed than think of you sitting alone drinking. After today, you put your glass down and you begin working on you again. You are a pr…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 02:42 AM
3

I would think that it would be a requirement for her to be served. But sounds like you hot a default judgement since she didn't contest it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 06:31 PM
3

No, honestly. But I'm also jaded since I'm starting the divorce process.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 03:26 AM
1

Just posted a new one
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 06:19 PM
1

Oh dang! I thought it was just locked
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 06:19 PM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/s/QzvqdAaiOD
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 03:17 PM
11

Yes, any money considered "community" can't be moved to block your access. If you're able to secure a lawyer, this could be VERY bad for her case
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 06:06 AM
11

I'm in the same boat, have just found out about the PA and am consulting with lawyers to get the divorce started. I still want her stable and involved with the kids. I'm expecting once AP has to deal with her on a day to day basis, and she has to deal with normal everyday life in their "relationship" things will quickly fizzle out. But I wouldn't be surprised if she sticks it out for quite awhile to have someone else help pay her bills.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/23 03:56 AM
3

You miss the memory of the person you thought your wife was. The verbally abusive version is the real her. Go ahead and take the out, focus on yourself, and take back control of your life.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 10:37 PM
2

If I could go back and time to stop myself getting married, but be able to still keep my kids, I'd do that in a heartbeat.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 10:26 PM
3

Yes. The imessage seems be getting emptied now
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/23 01:19 AM
3

That's the one thing I wish I could take care of immediately, having our finances severed from each other
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 11:48 PM
4

Oh, no, this isn't a suggestion or a suspicion. I have the texts and nudes she's sent him. I have the location of her phone at his house, matching the address he texted her. I want her involved with the kids, just not with me anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 08:57 PM
2

She's only known this guy a couple months. I get that there might have been others, but my kids take STRONGLY after me, so there's no doubt in my mind
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 08:51 PM
2

I'm sure it's going to get brought up when I tell her I want a divorce. She keeps acting like everything is perfect
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 03:59 AM
3

Lol, I must not be as good of an actor as I'd hoped. She has started to clear her texts from her phone. But the imessage backup still has them all?
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 03:43 AM
5

From her exchanges with this guy, it's clear that I'm just the friend that she raises a couple kids with. They're going out of their way to plan meetups and deceive me. It's not some, oh we had a drunken hookup accident. It's just ironic cause when talking about other people, she's always said, "Once a cheater, always a cheater."
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 02:48 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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