Advice for bringing it up

Signal-Dot2326 · 2023-11-18T02:21:58+00:00

I wouldn't even confront her about it I'd just serve her and move it along

Retying3043 · 2023-11-18T03:56:35+00:00

What do you hope to gain from bringing it up?

You know what needs to be done.

Do it quietly.

lifeisallihave · 2023-11-18T05:52:36+00:00

Avoid confrontation, just file for divorce.

jasoncb123 · 2023-11-18T05:59:50+00:00

Do it in a public place when you tell her. That way you have witnesses in case she goes crazy. Make sure you record the whole conversation on your phone. If for no other reason than to make sure you understand what she says. I did it for my own personal use because it is going to be an awkward situation and having the ability to go back and listen for my own sanity helped me

PokerFriend247 · 2023-11-18T07:51:50+00:00

She only somehow play the victim and make it your fault. Confronting them is a pointless and futile exercise.

Because cheaters are liars. Trust is evaporated like a fart in the wind. Stealth mode - get manoeuvres in place first.

Sidskid54 · 2023-12-02T15:55:28+00:00

My client discovered the affair, it was a workplace relationship with her boss. He arranged service at her workplace, and had a lawsuit drawn up against the boss, and their employers. He decided that he wanted to be there for the fun, so he followed the process server into her office. He served WW loudly by proclaiming she was being sued for divorce for infidelity. He proceeded to the boss' office and HR, and delivered the suits. WW has an immediate meltdown, meanwhile boss spots my guy sort of hanging out observing the mayhem. He runs up to him, and says, "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?????" My guy says, "You're fucked, and so it my cheating wife." AP raises his hands and takes a poke at my guy. AP awoke in the hospital with a severe amount of trauma and a charge of assault. He was already suspended pending an investigation. His wife came to the hospital to inform him that she would be filing a divorce shortly.

Lumptbuttcat · 2023-11-18T03:41:54+00:00

Just tell her you want a divorce. You are completely disconnected, acting as roommates and you intend to file next business day.

She’ll say a whole lot. Just listen. When she’s done, just ask to have her unlock her phone and hand it to you.

Appalachian-Rio · 2023-11-18T12:09:17+00:00

“Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt.”

-Sun Tzu

Spend some time here and you’ll quickly realize that no matter how amicable you want to be it only takes one party to turn this into a war. You can file and serve her and still have this be amicable but don’t ever let your enemy know what you’re doing. She’s your enemy now, it’s a legal battle but it’s still a battle and the stakes are high. The outcome of this battle WILL determine the amount of time you see your children AND the lifestyle you’re able to provide for them as well as yourself. Talk to an attorney, file, serve, and then let the negotiations begin.

ProfessionalDrop231 · 2023-11-18T02:42:44+00:00

Are you wanting to divorce her or are you doing it out of hurt and anger?

playerknowmore · 2023-11-18T20:43:07+00:00

You may not want to hear this, but you need to ascertain the length of the affair. To figure out if you require paternity tests. That "once a cheater" statement would automatically trigger paternity tests from me. You don't have to go all out and take the kids to the lab. Just a twenty-three and me to find family ancestry. Most kids would love to know the great people in their family tree.

ArtichokeSavings9472 · 2023-11-22T21:15:20+00:00

Why would you bring it up ? She didn’t have the courtesy to brinks io having sex with another guy. The more time she has the more time she can plan out how she’s going to scare you over keep your business to yourself . The second any advocates lawyers or professionals get in her ear they are going map out exactly how to screw you over . Stay strong no contact you can do this . It’s not a fair fight your the male you are entering a fight blindfolded with your hands behind your back

slab3 · 2023-12-01T23:58:41+00:00

!updateme

Throwaway45665454 · 2023-12-02T23:16:51+00:00

How did you get access to the messages? Some keylogger?

Capital_Genius-8387 · 2023-12-04T15:15:24+00:00

Can you repost updates?

Title	Advice for bringing it up
Author	Thrownaway_marriage
Upvotes	22
Comments	42
Date	November 18, 2023 2:13 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/17xvuw3/advice_for_bringing_it_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/advice-for-bringing-it-up.1238725 https://theredarchive.com/post/1238725

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