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lifeisallihave Archive

View 6 posts and 675 comments by lifeisallihave on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Hahaha true, it's all in the past now. We move on and learn from our mistakes. Life is different now. Stay healthy and be good to yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 05:41 AM
1

Thank you. I have been to therapy. Work out and run marathons and visit festivals with friends. Something I used to love before I met her. I do a lot of volunteering at my kids school and sports clubs. Hangout with friends who also have kids and friends who don't. I was isolated from them during the relationship. I love how they all come over now and invite me to hangout and do things together. I love how my life is turning out. Really peaceful. Maybe your ex and mine will run into each other. T…
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 05:01 PM
2

When my cousin who is really close to me, asked her why? My cousin has given you this nice life, he cooks, cleans, has a stressful job and yet shows up, you live freely with him. She told my cousin she wanted to be happy. That was the end of their relationship. When I met her she worked 2 and a half days, she moved in with me, I supported her to get a better job, a job she apparently loved so much she was never at home. Heck during the divorce people on my street said if I needed witnesses they …
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 06:47 AM
2

Never be responsible for someone whose happiness is fleeting. Why a female family member of mine asked her why, she said she wanted to be happy. Surprise surprise, she's out of my home and about 95% out of my life and she is still not happy. She looks so miserable even the other moms at school and the kids sports activities know what's up. Start living well and ignore all her antics. I speak to the older men at my gym, mostly in their 70s. All said their ex's tried to come back. One older guy I …
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 03:46 AM
4

Perfectly written. I'm going to save this thread. I will reread it as I continue to thrive in my new life
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 08:39 PM
4

I know. Mine has been doing everything to try to be in my life by using the kids. Not falling for it. I will continue to ignore her, they are good at acting and people always use the but she's the mother of your children to manipulate you into giving in to her. I'm not doing that, when I was down nobody cared, I've worked hard and still working hard. My kids are good and that's all that matters. My new life is with intention and I will not take any nonsense from her or anyone. She wanted the div…
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 08:35 PM
1

Whatever she thinks is irrelevant. Honestly don't occupy yourself with what she does or might not do. Look out for you.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 08:27 PM
1

I should have always trusted my gut, it has never failed me and yet I overlooked it and paid the price. Never again.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/25 09:27 PM
2

It gets thrown out all the time. Look at the type of judges handling those cases. Don't play games you can't win
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 09:58 AM
1

But can't you live under the same roof without the legal stuff? Why invite the government into your life, a battle that will impact you and your kids should things change in the current setup?
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 09:46 AM
9

Even if you are not dating, vasectomy is the only way. You always pay as a man, so don't play the game. Life is peaceful that way.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 09:19 AM
5

You have more options than you realize and if you play your cards right, you will come out winning. We always win. Control your emotions, and fight for your kids. They are your legacy, go make them proud. Show them you fought for them and for you.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 07:21 AM
2

Always trust your gut. It will never fail you. From day one you knew it wasn't going to work but you did it to make her happy anyway and ended up paying dearly years later. Trust your gut. Never get married.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/25 09:07 AM
1

Some men never learn. You have your freedom and are willingly giving it up?
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/25 08:55 AM
10

Just dropping by to wish you all a Merry Christmas. Never feel defeated, you can't beat time but you can slow it down to work for you. A big hug from the bottom of my heart. No matter where you are in the process, remember life gets better. Put in the work in the new year and life will smile at you again. Happy holidays to all you amazing dads out there.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/24 08:54 PM
3

I'm good! Friends don't put friends in harm's way. I love this thread by the way. I'm f**king committed to not wanting to do anything with her ever again.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 03:43 PM
5

Delay things and pay the price. We all ignored the red flags and look where it got us? It threw most of us back in time, having to start all over again. Peace is priceless and when you get the opportunity to have it, you take it.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/24 01:17 AM
4

There's no such thing as the one, this is not a Disney movie. It's all about someone you get along with, who doesn't encroach in your space and torment you.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/24 09:40 AM
1

Beautifully written.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/24 09:37 AM
1

I think society would implode if DNA tests are allowed within 24 hours after birth. lol
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 09:02 PM
3

The monkey branching always fails in the long run, the wall however will never be defeated.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 06:28 AM
11

Do what you need to do to move on. You will have the last laugh. Almost a month ago I had a meltdown after almost a year of being ok so I thought. I set my boundaries firm, went I want nothing to do with her mode and you know what happened? The phone calls, emails and text messages haven't stopped coming. Just as I was committed in the relationship, I'm committed to what I said to her. " I want nothing to do with you" Hang in there, you will come out of this.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 06:24 AM
1

That's good to know, my experience there and a few other subs like r/askwomenover30 are places where mostly single bitter women encourage other women to leave their marriages.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/24 12:38 AM
3

Yep they will be ripped away from you because you aren't willing to go in fighting for them. Every man in this sub, and most were in the ICU, came out fighting for their kids while some were homeless and terribly in debt due to divorce. Get that lawyer and fight for 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/24 09:39 PM
24

You can tell a lot about a person in a short time. A coffee date will cost you maybe $15. If things don't work out, you lose nothing. It's your program not theirs to waste your time. The serious ones would want a second date, do drinks lol. You lose money chasing women. Your time is valuable, don't give it away.
/r/MensRights17/11/24 09:55 AM
71

Do coffee dates, don't spend more than an hour. Also stop looking for approval from women by saying that's how you were raised. Just imagine what you could have done with $200 for your wardrobe or other fun stuff. You either adjust with current times or get burned.
/r/MensRights17/11/24 09:09 AM
16

If you don't have kids, she gave you a gift for the rest of your life. Create your own blueprint. The best advice I'd give you is to never ever contact her again. Do this for you.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/24 04:40 AM
2

The 20 million a year guy isn't going for them but a lot of cats are going to find a home.
/r/MensRights15/11/24 08:21 PM
–

Look at it this way, any dreams you had with her for the future are dead. Now go through the motions and rebuild your life.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 08:11 PM
2

Let's move on, from what I hear most regret it years down the line, however I will never buy back a used car I sold years ago.life is looking good from where I'm standing and she can never use or manipulate my kids against me.lol
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 07:53 PM
4

That's exactly what one of my buddy's said. He said I don't think she knew you that well after all these years because she thought after betraying you, you guys were going to be friends so she could walk away feeling great that she got away with it. The opposite happened. I shut that door and denied her that getaway I will never be in the camp of my ex wife and I are good friends. The surprising part to me is all the women in my family have their pitchforks out should I ever take her back after …
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 05:35 PM
5

When I told her never to call me again unless it was an emergency, she thought I was kidding. F**k around and find out. The kids know how to get into the house when I'm not around. About to install cams front and back, if she ever sneaks in I'm calling the cops on her. This woman really thought we were going to be friends. When I had a meltdown and called her, she told me I was strong and was going to be ok. Now that I have totally switched off, the phone calls, emails and text messages keep com…
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 04:12 PM
7

This has been my way of moving forward. The kids are with me today, she called, I ignored it. It's the best decision I've ever made dealing with her. I'm very indifferent now.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 04:01 PM
14

I have kids with her and I have taken the approach not to see her. I have minimal contact, all through email or text messages, exchange takes place at school. I ignore phone calls and messages that are not related to my kids. If that makes me an ahole, I will take it as my mental health and peace is not up for negotiation or giving her the opportunity to dump her issues on me while she goes on to have her fun and I get stuck with solving her problems. I have boundaries thank you. Kids are doing …
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 02:16 PM
4

Happy to read this. I'm on the right track. Thank God or whoever for making us logical beings.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 08:10 AM
10

Your future self will thank you. Never take her back.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 07:36 AM
10

This. Men should learn not to play the game. You win by not playing.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 07:34 AM
14

Setting you up to become one of her girlfriends. You get to hear about her new dating adventures while you have coffee together, she gets to tell her family and friends how great you two get along lol. Go cold and never look back, if there are kids involved only contact is through email and a call if it's an emergency. An emergency doesn't mean she gets to go out and f**k other men while you babysit. Learn not to play the game and you win, play the game and you lose time. You never recover from …
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 07:33 AM
12

Her daughter? Men really need to stay away from single moms. It never ends well from all that I have seen and read. You shouldn't be responsible for another man's kids. These single moms will use you for your resources and dispose of you when they are done. Stay away from them.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 05:45 AM
5

Eventually all men end up here! lol. I can now laugh at it looking back to all the signs I overlooked. Sometimes I think we as men need some kind of a trauma to get back into our core. It sucks but that's just how it is. I receive a few texts or emails a week from the ex, of course I never answer to any of them unless it's an emergency which is not. She's just hoping I will reply and solve her problems. When I had my meltdown, what she told me cured me from anything that was bothering me. lol
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 06:55 PM
3

Or hopefully they have learned a valuable lesson. You never recover from lost time, don't give it away so easily.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 07:26 PM
12

One thing I learned is to never allow anyone to take up my time. I got stuff to do and she either gets on my program or goes towards the exit door. There's also a reason why everyone says wait a year or a bit longer.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 08:43 AM
-1

Definitely but if she's there to get her feelings validated, he's screwed.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 02:25 PM
0

Waste of his time! Save the man as George Bruno says and the marriage might survive, don't try to fix the marriage. Took me a while to get this. He was right. Don't try to save the marriage, save the man.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 01:55 PM
2

That's a huge win, grass wasn't greener on the other side, I hope you found peace.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/24 10:34 PM
6

Be selfish and look out for number one. YOU
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/24 12:18 PM
8

Never compromise, that is how you end up destroyed by the end of the relationship, you wouldn't even know who you were. Never ever compromise with them, they take you apart piece by piece until you become someone they actually don't like. It's insidious.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/24 06:36 AM
6

Get yourself a console, play a few games. Learn to be alone. My sadness often comes from not having the kids. I miss the morning noise so I now just turn on the radio when I wake up.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 06:40 AM
10

Treat them like a star and they will treat you like a fan. In the future be the star and let her ask for your autograph. I'm feeling fine again though I know I will still have my days where I'm sad. Just keep yourself busy.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 05:56 AM
1

I don't know but it will take a while maybe a year or two to get back to where we were. It's tough and she has her girlfriends rooting for her so she feels empowered.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 10:48 PM
2

I had a meltdown this week. Had another one today. I do not want to see nor speak to her, everything through email.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 10:38 PM
2

How about the good man they left?
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 05:59 PM
7

Sounds harsh but it's the truth. I will never look at them the same way again.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 04:06 PM
1

Lookup GreatDivorceAdvice on YT. Also see chat. Sent you a link.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 05:44 AM
4

It's 50/50, the parent that they are with brings them to school on Monday, the other picks them up and they stay until the following Monday. So yeah 7 days with kids, 7 days without them. Even my summer was a mess. She was gone with them almost three weeks, I left them alone, my son will occasionally send me a message and I will reply. When it was my turn with them, she was mailing, sending messages and constantly calling. I told her to knock that nonsense off because it was harassment and besid…
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 06:22 AM
2

Maybe as time goes by we will get to a place for that.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 06:01 AM
4

I drop my kids at the beginning of her street, she drops them near my house. The kids walk to both homes. It wasn't always like this, I opened the door and she was messing with me so I had to close it(she used to come inside, look around while she's been told not to by the mediator). She became controlling after the divorce, she initiated the divorce and I was doing fine and so were the kids. I want her nowhere around me. Also see my post about struggling.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 05:51 AM
2

You will never be happy with any man, sure you will meet tons of men after this but it will all come crashing down. And if you have divorce friends who pretend to be happy, just believe them, you will come to the realization when it's all too late. Us men know this and this is why we try to protect you and go all the way to save the marriage, we are not saving us, we were saving you. Good luck you are not happy.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 05:22 AM
1

Waiting patiently to hit this stage. Work in progress.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 04:37 AM
5

You will come to the realization that almost all of them will not put in the work. Once things get tough, instead of building with you to see the end result, they run away and leave you in all sorts of problems, but years later when you are back up, that's when it hits them like a brick because of what they gave up. I'll probably never talk to mine again, we have two kids, I only communicate via email if it's relevant.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 04:32 AM
1

Resonates with me. What I did for her no one is going to in the future she sees for herself. But who cares, moving on.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 04:21 AM
2

Thanks. I am going to be a far better person than the man she left, the regrets are all hers not mine, I'm going to change the trajectory of my life within the next two years.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 04:14 AM
1

Look up George Bruno on YT. He's been my guide as well this week. I totally went into Super Sayan mode. There's also a hilarious lawyer on YT, wish I could post it here, he pomped my blood up.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 08:36 PM
1

I will get over it, she feels empowered now because I'm down, but the only way is up no matter how hard it is.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 02:59 PM
2

Thank you. I started setting boundaries. She's banned from my home, I bought her out and it belongs to me and the kids. There's a lot I'm sorting out and yeah overtime I will be a complete new person, happier and financially healthier. She's got a job that pays well but my income gave her a certain lifestyle. That's gone. Working on me is my priority.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 10:20 AM
3

One of my best boundaries was not taking her calls anymore. She sends texts and I answer only if its relevant to the kids. Other than that I have blocked her everywhere. Good luck to her and the AP.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 09:22 AM
2

Do their new relationships last after destroying their family? I really wonder.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 02:51 AM
2

Well there's a new guy, so yeah it's totally ok to say that to the father of her kids. It's really painful.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 02:43 AM
2

Hurt yes, the anger most men here exhibit is very natural and you are being immature about the down votes. There's always anger because men deal with things differently, most don't have support systems and need to go through all the phases to eventually come to peace. He didn't attack her. He was upset and said something to her.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 01:20 PM
3

Perfectly said. I was pretty much down all Monday, didn't eat the entire day, went to bed and woke up thinking fuck it let me write her off. I will still have my off days but it's part of the recovery and rediscovery of the guy I was before I invested everything into her. I'll be back.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 07:12 PM
4

This was my ex-wife, lots of wine drinking with her divorced friends, weekends away with her friends and occasionally donate to some charity to feel good about herself. There will come a day that we will all look them in the eye and tell them to go f**k themselves after they have been run through and nobody wants to settle down with them.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 06:58 PM
2

Correct with the no contact, that's the only way out. Thank you for that. Building the new me. Not seeing her again would be ideal but because of the kids, that's not realistic.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 01:21 PM
2

Thank you. May we all stay healthy and to see what amazing human beings our kids are going to become.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 07:29 PM
2

I wish I had never met her. Such is life. She may feel powerful now but I'm working on myself and will never allow her anywhere near me ever again. She showed me who she is, but hey someone is going to do the same thing to her at some point.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 06:37 PM
3

Hang in there, we are here for you too.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 03:14 PM
5

When I went on ignore mode she was going crazy! I guess their feelings matter, ours don't since we are disposable. I have gone full ignore and banned her from my house. Exchange won't be in front of my door or hers. I've told her where to drop the kids and where I will drop them. I discovered this with the kids too and they are fine with it. Good thing is this allows her not to see me and vice versa. I'm good. I spoke with my therapist after this episode! He said I should keep myself busy and no…
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 02:38 PM
4

Thank you, I'm already seeing this through my kids and how they move around me.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 11:05 AM
6

It's a mistake I will never make again. I don't know what got over me but the response I received was telling. An old man told me today to give it a few years because her regret will come, I don't even care I'd have already moved on by then.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 11:01 AM
4

Yeah 7 days as in from Monday to Monday and they go back to her and come again a week later. I fought tooth and nail for it. They are mine too and I deserve to see them as equally as she does. She hates it but I don't care and the kids love coming, especially my daughter will sometimes come and stay 8 days refusing to go back.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 06:56 AM
3

What pains me the most is I allowed her to see how vulnerable I am and made a total ass of myself because of it, I felt weak and she mocked me by saying I needed help and that I was strong and was going to be ok without any compassion or caring. This was the same woman that was complaining to me a few weeks ago that I didn't acknowledge her nor spoke to her when she talked to me. I let my guard down in a moment of sadness. My cousin and the family next door are all telling me she's going to regr…
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 05:54 AM
6

My biggest mistake was calling her once asking her how she could have done something like that, in a cold voice she said I was strong and that I was going to be ok. She did hurt me but with time I will recover. The kids at least gravitate towards me and that's all I have. There are days that I'm upbeat and doing well and days that I get sad missing the family that I had that was taken away. I really miss my kids when they are gone.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/24 04:54 PM
7

My in-laws were my family! She robbed me of that. I miss them terribly but decided to stay away for my own mental health.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/24 01:23 AM
5

Even in some places living with her in a certain amount of time could put you on the hook should things not work out. Great that you found love again and it's probably helping with your healing but take your time.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/24 01:14 AM
3

I recently told my ex not to come to my house and that the exchange should be in a public area, she has still not responded. We coparent 50/50. I really do not want her anywhere near my home. Congrats on settling things I hope you find time to heal and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 10:12 AM
1

Your last sentence got to me. I was the good guy.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 05:57 AM
8

You will have your ups and downs, the pain slowly fades as you move on but you will still have your what could have been moments. To be honest I think these things stick with us men for a long time. Hang in there. You will learn to adjust and give it a place. This afternoon I was setting up a desk I picked up at IKEA for my daughter, naturally I thought I'd put on some easy listening in the background. I heard "Johnny Hates Jazz - Shattered Dreams" playing and out of the blue the tears just came…
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/24 04:45 PM
3

I have had my ups and downs since the divorce but the only reason I even communicate with her is because of the kids. I really want nothing to do with her. She has this tendency of trying to get closer to or talking to me at our kids events, of course I ignore her for my own well being.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/24 04:30 AM
8

It happened to me.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/24 04:17 AM
2

Yep, take your time and build yourself up again. You'll be in a much better place and more content with your decisions.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 02:27 PM
2

It's going to take a while for that guy to come back, even then you will never be exactly like that guy, but more experienced.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 12:15 PM
13

Let's see, a bit long. I'm looking to change jobs soon because the current one has become a routine. Renovated my house after I bought her out to leave, the place looks as if she never lived there. My son and daughter are the happiest, we share 50/50. She called to go over some school and tax stuff we needed to discuss, let's say she could hear the screaming of kids playing, my kids telling me to get off the phone, me telling them to stop jumping on me, there was a long silence on the other line…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 05:38 AM
1

weddings are a total scam that only beelnefits her, she gets to have her princess Disney moment. He will ignore that too because men love thinking we are doing the right thing. It's a 5 year investment for them when you are well off as a man, they will behavior in the first two years, within year three they go into their I'm not happy nor safe moment with preparation into year 5 where the state helps her to take your assets while you sleep in your car or possibly suicide. Which of course they do…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 03:29 PM
5

He's going to go ahead with it guys. A few years from now he will be here crying with half his assets gone. The good thing is most of us would be gone too, living our lives and enjoying ourselves.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 02:07 PM
3

No, the only thing I can do is allow her to spend that day with the kids when they are with me. We are not friends and our communication is only about the kids. I ignore every text or mail from her that is not about the kids. This approach has helped my recovery. I want nothing to do with her.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 06:01 AM
11

She initiated it by giving me the Disney Classic. " I love you but I'm not in love with you" she did me a favor looking back. It was a slow recovery for me but life is better, something I began to realize after she moved out. I'm still working on me to be a good dad and a good life.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 10:53 PM
14

Most women between 35-42 are divorced these days, I wonder how life is going for the women above 40 who blew up their family because they thought they could do better out there with young kids. The lady in the video basically destroyed her own life.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 04:37 AM
1

Don't forget to do things you love and things you don't look forward to like the gym but you do it anyway just to work on yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 07:26 AM
1

We do Monday to Monday. Works for us. I wouldn't have it any other way.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 07:22 AM
3

I think therapy would help. I used to get angry for what she did to the kids and I, but I've learned to let go and focus on other areas of my life. It sucks but we never get that lost time back.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 03:56 AM
1

Do coffee dates bro. All the dinner and entertainment just will cost you and you get nothing back in return. I did one coffee date and it cost about 20 and that was it. If the desire is there on both sides, then I'm willing to pay more for fun.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/24 03:41 AM
2

Pretty much. He gave me a whole new perspective. Still going through the work but I'm grateful for what he's done for me.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/24 07:10 PM
6

You did, ignore the negative comments. I got stuff repeated to me 3x times because I never did anything well. Now it's a pleasure to have my son and daughter. We think about what we are going to eat, and do for the rest of the week. Daughter wants room painted, we discussed the type of color it should be. There's harmony.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/24 06:02 AM
23

The 50/50 actually makes them think they still have control. They often forget that while we were in the relationship, we went along with every nonsense they came up with until we didn't. We've watched the first two Indiana Jones films, We are on course to watch the rest when they come over and they absolutely loved back to the future. My time with my kids is really great, it's peaceful, they listen and actually help me whenever they come.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 07:30 PM
1

Most likely therapy. I've noticed we usually don't want to go as men which is understandable, but from what I have seen, within a few sessions we figure things out on our own and gtfo out of there. Yes Therapy helps us, just don't spend 2-3 years doing it. The clue is figuring things out while having someone to talk to.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 03:19 AM
1

I would even say 3 in more than enough, then supplement with other healthy food.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 09:17 AM
4

Deleted because she robbed her kids from having a dad in their lives. Some of them have no idea what the consequences are for deliberately removing dads away from their kids. She's proud to announce how she and equally destructive divorced friends are living their best lives. It's all temporary, she just doesn't know it yet.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 04:58 PM
1

How important is a father in the lives of their kids even if the parents are divorced. I will really like an honest answer from you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 01:29 PM
4

I hope you recovered. I have my on and off days but overall I'm doing fine, kids are killing it at school and other activities. It took me a while but I signed up for therapy to help me move forward. In my case it was also a guy at work because when I asked her about it, if it was that guy she works closely with she didn't give an answer, kept quiet. Of course nobody knows as she's now the victim and claims to be a single parent when we co-parent 50/50. She will eventually tell of herself, they …
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 06:27 AM
4

How about just don't do it?
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 04:48 AM
12

If I had known about the risks, emotionally, financially, mentally and my kids moving home every week. I would have never signed that paper that also had me starting over after allowing her in.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 04:47 AM
16

When she hit me with the divorce, I went to the gym and reconnected with old friends. This is crucial and if you haven't met up with any old friends, you should, men always welcome you back even if you haven't seen them in over a decade. I have been on one coffee date with a woman I met while I was out dancing. I quickly noticed the red flags and that was the end of it. I also wasn't ready so I went back to working hard on myself. Hope that helps.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 04:36 AM
7

That's not entirely true is it? Most of the men here admit the mistakes they made in the relationship, myself included. I may not have been a good husband or live up to her expectations but I did damn well taking care of my kids, and did most things at home even though I have a demanding job.the first time I volunteered at school, my kids expected me to show up and I did most of the time or will take hours off work to go help. I did so much but it wasn't enough, so we went counseling and was tol…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 04:13 AM
3

Love and cherish, that's what we all think until they move in and we start compromising. Ten years later we end up on Reddit asking for where to find lawyers lol On a serious note, just talk to her and discuss your future together. You know her somewhat after more than a year. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 08:30 PM
2

Really good idea. It was something I used to do when I was single back in the day. I don't even know why I stopped. I really used to enjoy myself at the movies. Summer doesn't usually have good movies but I'm going to get into this habit again.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 08:07 PM
13

Doesn't last long. As usual men take long to recover and always have the last laugh.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 05:16 PM
1

The man has admitted it's his fault and is working hard to get things back to where they used to be financially, sadly his relationship is gone.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 07:53 PM
2

Fair enough but at least he's trying, it took me over a decade to learn what not to do in most aspects of my life, I wish I had applied the same approach to my relationship, it would have saved me a lot of pain and anguish.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 07:33 PM
3

That's it?
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 04:04 PM
6

Really. Share with us why you think he's a bum. Would you call him a bum if he was putting her through school while she didn't contribute financially to the relationship?
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 03:55 PM
4

Don't be sorry, he just gave you an insight on what is about to happen to you. You decide how your life ends up. You are either the director or you get directed.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 05:14 AM
11

I guarantee you once the divorce is done, you will find more clients, your business will thrive and you will be the best you could ever be. Don't wait until you are doing well because once you do you lose. Business thrives, half of your profits go to her. Take the pain now.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 05:09 AM
8

The last part hits home. We are still kings and kings learn to rebuild and adapt. We come back stronger. All the best. I too will be checking out. I will visit this sub from time to time. Never lose your worth brothers. At some point you were happy and the world smiled at you and with you, find your purpose again and the world will smile with you again, only this time you will look back with nostalgic memories, smile and move on. See you guys around and be safe. Thank you all for the amazing sup…
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 04:41 PM
15

Jeez who's going to rescue them now? Men are coming in to fix plumbing issues, irrigation, leaking roofs and men are very expensive. Oh and the airconditioning at the work place is controlled by men, it's all very oppressive.
/r/MensRights09/05/24 04:14 PM
13

In the long run, I will date again but on my own terms and boundaries. Something I will never do again is to marry or live with someone. The risk is way too high after what I went through. I owe it to myself and my kids never to sign a contract ever again. There are lots of single women in their late 30s and 40s with no kids that's an option you could explore.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 07:02 AM
1

Same here. She waits outside. This home is for me and my kids. She's not even allowed in my garden. Tough luck.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 04:13 AM
12

Your bear won't be monkey branching.
/r/MensRights08/05/24 07:25 PM
1

The day men decide to have tests on their kids would be society to a stand still. Of course those who want to be with a bear will fight tooth and nail to keep their dirty secrets.
/r/MensRights08/05/24 07:22 PM
17

Accountability is their kryptonite.
/r/MensRights07/05/24 11:25 AM
2

Yep in a moment of anger, I had my final say and that was it for me. You can't control what they do, just take care of yourself and always stay calm. They will create their own reality to make you look bad, stay calm, don't engage. Great post Op.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 11:18 AM
15

He doesn't care, it's just one of those moments when we men come to the realization that our ex wives had it all and yet threw it all away.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 06:34 AM
2

That anger will stay with you for a while, just be mindful of it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 06:30 AM
1

Coming to a male safe space to attack us. It shows your character. Our house was almost paid off, I worked less hours but made more, the kids were always with me until an ex boyfriend moved into the neighborhood. I bought her out, and it will take me a few years to bring the mortgage down to where it was because of her incredibly selfish behavior. My kids are still young and we split custody 50/50. Kids and I are doing fine, but I still have anxiety from time to time for what she did to me. I do…
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 06:12 AM
2

What everyone is trying to do is help you navigate this. Simply stay away from single moms with younger children. You'll thank yourself and everyone who commented here later, if you still remember us.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 08:29 PM
2

Brutally honest. Stay away brother.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 08:17 PM
7

Men should have the same mindset. These women have some really dangerous dark traits.
/r/MensRights06/05/24 06:46 PM
26

Don't marry her or let her move in with you. you get to keep your retirement and actually enjoy life. You are the "Settle for guy" meaning good enough.
/r/MensRights06/05/24 06:40 PM
7

The only time I've seen it work is, she was in her late 40s with a kid who was already out of the house living her own life.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 06:33 PM
12

This is the first MD since the divorce and I asked the kids, they both said they would like to get her something so I went along with it. I will continue to do it going forward, not for her but for the kids. I want nothing to do with her besides things that involve the kids. Somehow she had the fantasy idea we were going to be friends after divorce. lol
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 08:56 AM
1

Sounds like a healthy situation and society is not going to burn because of your choices. I can think of a billion reasons but your setup is not one of them. We just think you are not the right person to be giving marriage advice. You often come off as the dharma advisor who doesn't know what to do with his own life yet tells others how to live.
/r/MensRights05/05/24 06:53 PM
1

There you go again calling me misogynistic when it comes to accountability. Nobody is trying to change you. Multiple men and women? Do you plan to have more kids with the current guy?
/r/MensRights05/05/24 06:08 PM
1

4 is your husband yet there are other men ramming into you? What was the relationship with dad like? Multiple therapy sessions over the years and you came to the conclusion that you needed multiple guys outside the marriage? I really want to know how this makes you a marriage expert?
/r/MensRights05/05/24 06:00 PM
1

I'm curious as well. You have a relationship with multiple men how is that good for the kids?
/r/MensRights05/05/24 05:51 PM
1

I'm thinking you are in your mid 30s. Between 16 and now, how many men besides the serious relationships? So you've got a house or are involved with simps who can't get sex the normal way and are happy to get some in this poly setup?
/r/MensRights05/05/24 04:35 PM
1

Clearly not taking things seriously, you are better than that. r/Divorced_men, r/Divorced_dads r/singledads
/r/MensRights05/05/24 04:31 PM
1

Thanks for the detailed bits. 1# was of course in another lifetime. It happens, nothing you could do being that young. 2# can't be helped, you were looking for love. 3#old enough to judge a person's character, no excuses. 4#at this point we are talking about body bags with no end in sight. It's just his turn. Also very bad for you should things not work out.
/r/MensRights05/05/24 04:28 PM
4

No lies detected! Pure facts. 3 kids, 3 different men and yet she thinks this is all ok. We haven't even scratched the surface yet when it comes to body count but we will get there and I hope she answers truthfully.
/r/MensRights05/05/24 10:29 AM
4

Here you go again getting into your masculine mode of the modern woman. How many men end up in their cars, moving back in with their parents because they lost everything in the divorce? A man can easily spend days in jail because he refused to leave his home, a house he worked hard for.
/r/MensRights05/05/24 07:05 AM
5

I'm listening to you and I have stated in the past where we agree on certain things. Pretty normal I'd think. However after multiple therapy sessions and kids with 3 different daddies, how were you in for the long haul? I do enjoy our discussions so please don't take anything I say as an attack on you.
/r/MensRights05/05/24 07:01 AM
9

I enjoy the fact that you always come to these discussions but you yourself have 3 kids from 3 different men. Why are you trying to convince men here to ruin their lives?
/r/MensRights05/05/24 05:33 AM
12

That's not how it works. You can spend 3 years vetting someone and that person will go along with it because she knows she has a powerful force on her side to take everything you have. Young men should not marry until these laws designed to make them poor are corrected. Until then the risk is not worth destroying your life for. Men marry for love, women are in business.
/r/MensRights05/05/24 05:29 AM
2

There's not much we can do about it though. It's all about making sure the kids remember you were there for them and gave them all your best. Our naive asses go into marriage for love and they come in for business with the help of the government. The way our ex wives behave during divorce could make a serial killer envious.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/24 03:41 PM
7

You know that old saying, a downfall of a man is not the end of his life. Your feelings are valid, be upset, be angry, be jealous, it's all part of the process, but at some point you need to let go and look ahead. Be a good dad with less and they will come to appreciate you for you and not the material stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 09:04 AM
1

Just be honest should it come up during a date. I met this lady a few months back, we had a brief chat and that was the end of it. A week ago I randomly ran into her again and we actually had a great conversation, told her upfront I'm divorced with two kids. That didn't bother her at all in fact she wanted to meet up again but I told her I will get in touch some time as I have other things to attend to. I think she will come around when I'm ready. Until then, my kids and sorting things out are m…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 07:33 AM
1

I always thought the red pill was unhealthy but as I went through my divorce I came to understand why people are so attached to it. I really don't blame anyone who goes for the red pill. It's saving men from these morally corrupt women who are in for themselves, leaving a trail of anguish and despair behind them. Western society is being destroyed by them with the help of the state and are not held accountable for their malice. Avoid most of them and advise every young man, friends, male family …
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 06:20 AM
9

We should have a sticky for "life after divorce" where we all post our wins to motivate those going through this painful journey.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 11:23 PM
1

True. Prior to my divorce, I went in once or twice a week. But then going 6 days a week and taking a day off for long walks has been amazing. I look good and feel good, still getting there mentally as well and having a focus again. There's that moment that makes you stand still trying to make sense of it all then you think about it and then you get on with your day.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 03:38 PM
5

Lol! I see my gym as my safe space and the only people I chat with are the guys in the training sessions offered by the gym, there are ladies there too and they often go out of their way to chat which is refreshing but na, not interested, love my gym and it saved me. The first few weeks of my divorce was intense and I had no where to go, she had family and friends to go do fan stuff with as she called it, I had the gym. Some day I will tell the manager how her gym saved me and how grateful I am.…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 03:27 PM
2

Never give them another chance. Do that and you end up paying dearly for it.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 02:49 PM
2

I'm just glad I have my stuff together. I came to the realization she was holding me back. Better off now and she's never coming back in, I've closed that door and don't need the chaos. I'm living well.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 03:35 AM
2

You will get through this, divorce makes most of us wise. When going through my own divorce I did a lot of self reflection, and could write a book about all the red flags and my own failings. It's another man's problem now, not mine and I sleep well at night.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 05:55 PM
2

My hero. Let's go
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 08:05 AM
5

The best revenge is living well. There's a lot of truth in that saying.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 12:40 AM
2

The most important thing is that your kids are safe around her.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 07:39 PM
12

Enjoy it, revenge is indeed living well. They usually think they are empowered because we take time to recover but once we flip the switch and go into beast mode, nothing can stop our recovery. Always let them have their temporary victory, supported by mostly divorced (who pretend to be well off)friends and simps.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 06:30 PM
9

Don't ever take her back, a lot of men make the mistake of doing so by using the excuse it's because of the kids. She comes in sharpens her knife over time and exits with half. Why waste money on a postcard? The kids will tell her while in the basement.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 05:43 PM
5

A guy who is desperate will tell a girl who is clearly a 3, 4 if you take certain personality traits into account that she's an 8 to inflate her ego just for sex. Most of these girls think they are in the 8-10 category because of guys lying to them Stop chasing these broken women with low moral fiber. Don't ever chase women, it never ends well for you as a man.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 04:45 AM
7

I've been reading a lot about the whole OLD thing and this is my observation. They do not want to sleep nor do anything with you. They will however sleep with the guys that fly them over to Dubai and Miami for the weekend, absolutely destroying them that they could barely walk with no intention of dating them. These are the guys you are competing with, which is a waste of time. You approach them, they approach those guys. There's a difference. lol Go outside and socialize. Also it's ok to be alo…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 04:41 AM
4

May you have a healthier and prosperous life going forward, enjoy every moment, cherish and love you, take good care and always put yourself first. Congratulations
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 04:22 AM
36

Finally another man gets it. A peaceful life is the ultimate gift any man can afford himself. We worked hard, made sure all the bills were paid, roof over their heads, kids were happy, they had a home only for one selfish person to destroy it all because they love you but weren't in love with you. Such Childish individuals. Dating is healthy but never ever allow them to move in by compromising your wellbeing, financial health and a peaceful life on your own terms. It's too risky with no benefits…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 04:18 AM
4

You will recover as long as you don't lose your focus. Don't ever get married again, even if a future partner checks all the boxes.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 05:34 PM
5

I understand. Do you have a disability? Can you take care of yourself and your kid when she's not in the picture? What everyone is trying to say and we really want you to be ok, is that you will be alright on your own when she eventually pulls away.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 02:43 PM
4

He will adjust, I think he needs time. I just hope for his own well being, he puts himself first by pulling away.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 02:38 PM
9

No response. Do not allow her to even get inside your head.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 02:17 PM
9

Pff yourself. You are a classic plan B. The other guy is taking her guts out and she comes over to cuddle and kiss your forehead. She'd be amazing in Sales.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 02:08 PM
2

Thank you and happy Easter brother.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 10:08 PM
6

Honestly I've been on the internet for a long time, been part of many things and groups but this place helped me in my darkest days. Sharing my own story, reading the story of others and realizing we are all going through the same thing and offering help and advice. I really appreciate each and every one of you. Happy Easter guys. It's ok to be alone, be patient and work on yourselves.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 08:40 PM
4

Don't react! Stay calm and continue with your life.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 05:54 AM
5

I support you and you are going to come out of this. Please don't lose your focus. Keep fighting because if you don't who would fight for your kids when you are not around?. Don't give up. I know exactly how you feel. In a way it's strange isn't it? When I got hit with the D, I was standing in my own living room and the only person I wanted to talk to badly was my dad but dad had been gone a few years. I fought hard for my kids and you are doing the same, do 50/50 if that will give you room to r…
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 05:45 AM
7

Not paying enough to allow her to stop working. Do you need more evidence? Your own daughter will grow up to resent you. Please don't do this.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 12:19 PM
18

Not willing to put your daughter through this a few years down the road when things would affect her is exactly why you need to go ahead and finish this. Do it for her. We always see the big picture, unfortunately they never do because the Joneses have more and they want that too in an instant. Read all the posts here. About 99% of it is us not wanting a divorce and trying to save our family until realizing trying to convince them to stay is like getting a really bad deal at the car dealership. …
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 04:39 AM
6

Yep! Agreed. Op you now have to set boundaries after this episode.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/24 07:48 PM
4

Yep this man gets it. I feel better than ever. I do have my off days (usually thinking about dating then I will sit there think about it and go do something else)but overall I feel great.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 06:04 PM
15

She's loyal to him, you come second and you are never going to shake that feeling. Get your daughter and run before all this affects her. Looks like the ex has control.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 04:07 AM
4

I'm not on the apps, the whole idea sounds terrible and a huge nightmare for some. I've been out doing activities and meeting people. Not dating anyone but being out and just having casual conversation has helped me and it's been very refreshing. But then again, I hit the gym, started reading more,put myself first and doing things I actually enjoy.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 10:08 PM
2

A chance of woo? Not with a pacemaker he doesn't. All she has to do is sit on his face during sex and my man will be buried within a week. I'm laughing as I type this, though I hope he gets a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 07:44 PM
4

I'm pretty sure you've got better things to do than looking at your phone hoping she'd text you back. As Rick James used to say "come on I've got a bit more sense than that" lol
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 05:30 AM
16

Coming from a divorced home. My mom did similar things, introduced me to a few dudes over the years but dad was dad and he was awesome, years later I went no contact and stuck with the better person (dad) until his passing. I miss him every single day and tell my kids about him all the time. We visit him at the cemetery to even celebrate his birthday with him. Be dad Op the guys your ex brings into their lives will come and go, you remain stable and be there for them, make their times with you w…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 05:14 AM
13

Do you know how they operate? Op should be glad he's not living in his car. Many good men have fallen after having everything they worked for taken away from them.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 09:11 PM
3

Go see a lawyer before you move on. I will personally never sign a contract again where one person gets to break it because they love you but are not in love with you and be rewarded with half of your assets and more. Other than that I hope you have an awesome wedding and a joyful life together.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 03:16 PM
6

We all thought we were taking care of our family, working hard, making sure everyone and everything was taken care of. Yet here we are. Lessons learned.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/24 08:24 PM
10

Show your emotions and they will use it against you. My ex used the loss of my dad against me during divorce. He was my dad and one of the few people on earth that could truly make me laugh and I lost that. It was then used against me because how dare I grief about my incredible loss. I'm being down voted. But in every relationship there should be room for both parties. One is accused of not opening up and when they do, it's used against them. I'm going to stay away from this sub for now. Guys w…
/r/MensRights24/03/24 06:36 AM
7

I walked into a Cafe with a friend to have coffee. When we entered it was like you could feel a needle dropping, the women stopped talking and were looking at us, we just ignored them all had a chat, good coffee and we left after about an hour. Most of the guys that also came into the Cafe sat there alone, drank their coffee, worked on their laptop, had something to eat and left. I was observing what was happening and it was truly fascinating. I'm not sure this is what they wanted but hey here w…
/r/MensRights24/03/24 06:24 AM
3

Never chase them, it's a pretty bad deal for most of us men out there. I'm sure there are women out there who check all the boxes, except never move in with her when you meet her. It's the only way.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/24 06:48 PM
28

I feel you. I fought for 50/50 and I'm quite happy with the outcome. Enjoy every bit of your time with your daughter, she will thank you later for being an awesome dad. We should always be in the lives of our daughters, they need us as much as they need their mothers.
/r/MensRights23/03/24 01:26 PM
26

💯 and knowing what I know now. Peace is the ultimate gift any man can give himself.
/r/MensRights23/03/24 01:20 PM
183

I will never allow anyone to move in with me again. There's absolutely no point in being in a relationship where one person gets to break that contract and get rewarded for it, while I spent years building my wealth without any help from her, wealth I had long before she came into my life and out of love, I shared it with her. I did recover but will never put myself in such a situation ever again. My advice to any young man is to date but never ever get married. It's not worth it losing your hom…
/r/MensRights23/03/24 01:13 PM
12

All men should stay off these dating apps. It doesn't add much to your life in the long run besides a financial transaction once she moves into the empire you spent years building.
/r/MensRights23/03/24 07:02 AM
4

For some ridiculous reason everyone expects the guy to always leave the house when the divorce was mostly initiated by the other party, for cheating and various reasons. Why should the guy leave the house when he was not the one that wanted a divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 06:08 PM
9

Maintain your silence and just continue with your life.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 05:49 PM
1

Bowie - space oddity But I'm just starting, I've always wanted to do this.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 09:44 PM
3

It's amazing isn't it? I'm starting a vinyl collection, I've been warned it's an expensive hobby 😄. Nothing like listening to good music and just enjoying your peace.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 08:59 PM
1

Young brother, you are 25 years old, you have many life times to get it right, be filthy rich or comfortable in all aspects of your life. Walk away, build and get yourself a good lawyer in the future to secure all your assets from this new and amazing journey that awaits you. I know exactly where you are coming from and they never understand how losing a family member that was close to us affects us because they are very selfish and think they should always be at the center of your world. I'm ol…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 02:49 AM
-1

Get out there and start working on yourself , you will meet the right woman who checks all the boxes and even more. She will be sitting on your face before you head out to work and why wouldn't you want such a gift between heaven and earth for yourself after putting in the hard work?
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 02:31 AM
8

Never look back. You and your kids are more than ok. Enjoy your peace.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 09:22 PM
6

You two are not friends and you have no obligation to do anything for her. Don't even entertain her by picking up the phone or replying to her messages.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 09:22 AM
30

You haven't signed anything yet and she knows you are out on dates? Dude
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/24 05:29 AM
6

You are a man, you will find ways to improve your income, juggle between kids, and all aspects of your life. Make sure things are good between you and your kids. Make sure you attack all aspects of your life, I can't stress this enough. You neglect any one of these and you crash. Finance, health, mental, all of them. The kids will eat up most of your time when they come over, be there 💯 for them. Plan things out and you will have an amazing life. Whatever you do the kids will notice, show them y…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 06:11 AM
2

Don't be a doormat and never go back to someone who was willing to destroy your family and never actually saw your value. You already know you can recover from this and give yourself and your kids the best life. You will be back here in less than a year if you allow her in again. It's up to you. Read your own story again. Ignore her.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 04:22 PM
3

I feel you bro! We all didn't plan things this way. My greatest joy is getting two wonderful kids out of the relationship. She's man's problem now. I hope you do find peace and joy at some point.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 06:41 AM
2

You don't even need the apps, they are all over the place. I walked into an art gallery with my daughter and the place was full of them, glad I'm not looking, my time for my selfish hobbies are too precious not to mention no woman is moving in again ever. I love life now and, time with my kids. I'll still date in the future but no one is moving in. It's not even up for discussion. It's my house.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 04:14 AM
3

I really need to get into golf, but first my motorcycle license, then kitesurfing lol
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 04:07 AM
5

This brother gets it. Stay cool, calm and enjoy your life.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 04:04 AM
5

You have everything to lose. It's a financial transaction that either ruins you or sets you back a few years. The only amazing thing you get out of a long term relationship are the kids. Become a man of value.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 04:03 AM
3

I still have years to go before retirement though I'm going to make sure I retire before I turn 60, when she hit me with the D, one of the best decisions I made was to keep my daughter very close, she's only 6 but we have identical personality traits and she's always with me, I intend to keep that going for as long as I can. Sorry that this happened to you very late in the game of life. Myself and a lot of the men who come here should count ourselves extremely lucky. Keep your head up Op and ign…
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 03:56 AM
3

It wasn't going to work out in the long run, be glad you got a second chance to plan your own life and live on your own terms.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 07:52 AM
6

When your daughters are not around there's also something called life. Think about stuff you would like to do when they come over, plan ahead. Take that dog for long walks. Etc
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 07:49 AM
10

Lol, you didn't miss a thing, you will see her again.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 10:26 AM
5

The thing is we always accept and acknowledge our mistakes, they never do because they are never wrong. Be the best you can be, you will recover from this, most of us have recovered or are in the process of recovering because we put in the work immediately. Don't waste your years, you know what you need to do. Do this for you and your kids, you want to look back and smile because you worked on yourself and your kids benefited from a stable loving dad.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 03:13 PM
9

Welcome to modern marriage where the other person benefits from breaking the contract.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 02:41 PM
5

The tattoo part seems very popular with the divorce women lol.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/24 06:48 PM
5

Glad to hear things are going well. Enjoy what you have. Meeting someone who checks all the boxes and is a great addition to your life and does not put you into stress is worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/24 06:41 PM
14

Not every guy is out dating straight after divorce. Most of us are just busy juggling through life, having a purpose and just enjoying our peace. Being your best self is the greatest gift every guy should give himself. Be in the best shape of your life, physically, mentally, financially and emotionally. Read, go do stuff, meet new people with your hobbies and interests.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/24 05:07 PM
3

Give her the money and save yourself the headache and trauma. You are a man and can make that money back in no time if you've got your head screwed on right.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/24 06:26 AM
1

Push it through and get her to send it. She's thinking about going back to amend the agreement which will not work in your favor. I pushed mine through when she began to stall.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 04:48 AM
8

This is the reason I'm not getting married or moving anyone in ever. Yeah I'll date again at some point but I did learn a valuable lesson from this divorce. Waking up at 4am, when my kids are sleeping, making coffee for myself and doing some reading before they come down is indescribable, we get ready I drop them off at school, get my two kisses and off to work I go. Such peace.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 08:57 PM
2

I think the term you are looking for is monkey branching.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 08:46 PM
7

Ex-wife sister comes off very innocent but then I found out from ex her sister is a 304. Said sister was quite happy to see my ex file for divorce. My ex wasn't going to stay in a relationship when her sister is 304 and two other friends she hangs with are also divorced. I'd be in the house and they will all be laughing at one of their ex for being short and balding. I met the guy a few times, he was very cool. Last I heard he's dating an 8. That made me happy for him. I hope he found peace.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 08:42 PM
2

Having them part time also means you didn't abundant them, you are a responsible person. That gets you respect.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 04:04 AM
10

No lies detected. Similar story here, though my in laws are cool and I'm not dating anyone yet. Maybe in the future when I'm ready.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 06:51 PM
33

It's always unfortunate to see people lose their jobs, but I'm glad I'm not on these dating apps, they sound like a nightmare.
/r/MensRights05/03/24 08:29 PM
3

Don't move them in, and you can date some amazing women.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 09:08 PM
2

All her friends and family know she has a large family. she was out every week with a friend to bring the news. I kept being me by minding my own business. I still bring my kids to school, say hello to the other parents like I always do and just move on. Don't be like her.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 08:31 PM
12

They had a good thing going, a loyal husband, stable home and they blow it all up. Sometimes I just feel sad for some of them.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 07:23 PM
2

Of course, the Nile is also not a river in Egypt.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 06:14 AM
3

Thanks. I didn't even know why I started writing. Just being alone down stairs with the kids sleeping had a weird effect on me. I wasn't missing her. I was just alone with my thoughts.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 05:58 AM
1

Same here, kept the house as I put in the funds from my previous place. What she got from the buyout she can probably buy a home or get a mortgage so that's ok. It's 50/50 co-parenting and I'm glad I kept my house for the sake of the kids. I took on the debt which I can bring down as time goes by. My kids have a home and that's all that matters to me.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 05:47 AM
4

I know what you are going through Op, give it time. My kids are with me, after I put them in bed. I sat there in my house for almost three hours. I wasn't doing anything. Just sitting there, it was quiet and I was alone but I had time to reflect again and again on many things. Eventually I wrote her a letter, took responsibility for my part in the relationship and wished her all the best. I'm still thinking about when to send it to her. This whole thing has affected my daughter, she's doing bad …
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 05:25 AM
20

And the above is exactly why most men die around 60-65ish while they get to live much much longer while enjoying your pension and everything you worked for.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 06:26 AM
3

Just do what's best for you man. I think you got this. Look at the big picture. Imagine if this had happened to you at 60? Let that sink in. You now get the chance to build the life you want. We all have similar stories and it sucks, but that's life no?
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 04:53 PM
3

That's cool right, lessons learned and valuable experience. At least in your next relationship you will deal with things differently. I know you are pissed and there should be room for that too. Hopefully you can take the time to heal and put this behind you. All the best going forward and take good care of yourself and your wellbeing.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 04:33 PM
7

What are you going to do now regarding the situation you find yourself in? I'm curious.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 01:23 PM
19

Oh I get it, parents trying to help their kids make them morons and losers. Wow you sure are pissed. I hope you find peace.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 01:21 PM
7

Get the work done. Take a back seat and realize your relationship wasn't healthy, you were dealing with someone who wasn't really there, she had lost her father. Just as it affects men who had a healthier relationship with their dads, the same thing happens to women who had that with their dads too.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 01:19 PM
19

Dude, I have two kids, I'd try to help them too if they were struggling and I was in a position to help. No parent wants their child to be homeless. You should have used this as a blessing in disguise, by getting your affairs in order while you lived with her. I.e work hard to find your own place, build some income etc. You really can't put this on her. Take some responsibility of your own.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 01:15 PM
3

You still have a daughter, how you treat and raise her would ultimately determine the kind of men she attracts. Make it your mission to raise her to be a responsible adult with good human qualities so some guy doesn't end up like us 15-20 years from now. Women with healthier relationships with their fathers don't blow up families.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 05:49 AM
8

I hit the gym, something I never took seriously when I was in the relationship. Then I started going religiously then women there began to approach me, of course I will chat with them just to be polite. No intention to date currently. Same at work, I ignored that too. Then I started Jiu Jitsu class, this was the place where I actually started meeting genuine people, after our class we will sit there and talk about life and everything in between. It's guys from all walks of life and there's one l…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 05:34 AM
3

Lovely. Enjoy life.
/r/Divorce_Men29/02/24 09:19 AM
5

And that's exactly what she did, a selfish act, she blew her family up. There are days that I will get angry while alone for what she put my kids through. I want nothing to do with her except communication when it comes to the kids. She's got only one friend who's married and she and her friends are going to ruin her marriage too at some point. My cousin being a female told me it's hard to stay married when you have divorced friends though the big mistake these women make is that the grass isn't…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 07:10 PM
2

Yep. Be angry if you have to, go through the motions.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 03:46 PM
12

Hits home hard. My step mom (dad has been gone for a few years, may he RIP) has been one of my biggest supporters. When this whole thing started all the women in my family kept me sane. My friends and even my neighbors have been really great in making sure I didn't fall apart. A shout out to 8, 9, 10, and 18. Gold standards.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 05:00 AM
8

I love my kids, they didn't deserve what happened to them. There are other women out there.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 04:46 AM
4

Think about that scene in Fight Club. Where a gun is held to that dude's head. Have a purpose brother. Look forward to your day and make small wins.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 06:25 PM
2

Yeah that's the thing. I enjoy the me time. The best thing is it's an opportunity to think about things you'd do when they come back. I figured I could also slowly do some dating when I'm ready.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 06:22 PM
2

Thank you, very insightful as I am in the same situation. Changes are on Sunday nights for their stuff, then I say goodbye to them on Monday at school. A whole week with them then I am busy with work another week, then back to being flexible with work when they are with me. Both are still very young so I have a few years to go. But just juggling through it all can be tough sometimes. Still hanging in there and making the best of it while I learn new things and my kids are also teaching me a lot,…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 05:59 PM
3

I'm a step ahead of you. No woman is ever moving in again nor am I going to move in with her. A lifetime ago I knew a guy at work who gave up his house to move in with a lady he was in love with, six months later I had to pick him up and drop him at a bus stop so his mum could pick him up from there. He lived with his mum for a while before finding a new place. When they start showing their true colors we need to walk away.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 04:44 AM
3

I can imagine that feeling. Waking up each day and being grateful that you are safe.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 04:36 AM
15

That didn't take long. Block her number. You don't need that noise and get yourself a popcorn machine as a reminder of how lucky you are. Thanks for sharing brother. Some of us are still working on it and slowly getting there.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 09:57 PM
16

To be honest divorce is turning out to be the most destructive and dangerous epidemic to the well being of married (not the assholes who abuse their wives) men.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 09:43 PM
8

A guy would tell a woman who is clearly a 5 with some make up that she's an eight then boom, he gets to investigate while there's a poor guy working his ass off to pay the bills and keep up with her demands only to be hit with a divorce. Families and kids lives destroyed in the process. I think we are our own worst enemies.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 09:08 PM
10

Applicant qualifies for gym instructor or dancing teacher as well.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 09:02 PM
7

Imagine that, the guy checks all the boxes and still gets cheated on. She gets educated by her instructor then goes home to talk to husband who was committed and loyal about world events.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 08:22 PM
3

I said the same thing, please look at the big picture. Nope she was going in for the kill no matter what I said. Well the big picture is only me and my kids. Awesome times ahead.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/24 06:31 PM
2

What are your interests? I read my local newspaper the culture and events section, you can find a group to go running with. Photography, book club. Group for just walking. Anything really. I recently discovered a group that does kitesurfing. You can even volunteer at your local sports club or old folks home. It's up to you. Look for it and you will find it.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/24 09:08 AM
6

I don't have any tattoos but there are also guys with tattoos who are in the same situation as we are/were and are also trying to navigate life after divorce. But I get what you mean, just saw one today at the shop with a very good looking lady. Still we shouldn't always judge. Hehehe My advice is not to do only OLD. Go to Events, things that interest you and you'd be surprised how many women turn up there too. Best place to meet new people. I personally don't do online dating. I've casually met…
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 07:53 PM
9

Your daughter knows who you are, it's obvious you are very close, keep building that relationship with her and create memories together. Don't allow these things to get to you. You know who you are and you are an awesome dad. Your daughter will figure things out as long as you stay calm. Don't even discuss the new guy with her.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 06:29 AM
9

He will get the chance to meet the real her soon enough.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 06:21 AM
2

Make the best of it from here. Just be at peace.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 09:23 AM
10

Get a good lawyer and never look back. It's amazing how we often think we can't survive. You can take care of yourself and your kids. Pretty much everything she does with them you can do better and build memories with them. Walk away. They are pretty good at cheating and can do it for years without us having a clue. Walk away.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 07:44 AM
6

You need to stop this, you sound like a victim and that's not how you should be looking at yourself. We've all gone through this and some of us still relive what they did to us, some of us are traumatized and yet we get up every day to do what we need to do, work on ourselves, rediscover who we once were and get back to living and just finding purpose. Don't let her win, you are a God damn 8. That means if you stop this victim mentality and get yourself back together, women will be falling over …
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 06:19 AM
2

She should have done that before getting into a relationship. Whatever demons she may have had.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 09:40 PM
3

Living in suburbia I've seen a lot and feel sorry for a lot of the men in my neighborhood, they have no idea what's coming. I've seen wives going out of their way to hug other husbands in the neighborhood when there's a birthday party or some neighborhood BBQ. There's only one dude who I suspect has clocked things and gotten rid of his dad bod quickly lmao. His wife is decent looking yet I think he suspects if he doesn't get into shape some dude could be ramming into her soon. As soon as my kids…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 09:33 PM
5

GTF out of here. You stay strong brother and work on you. That's an absolute must. The marriage is gone, the work ahead is for you to come out blazing, mentally, physically and financially stronger than ever. You got this, make you and your son proud. Let's f**king go. DM if you want to talk. Divorced too with two amazing kids. Life gets better if you are willing to work for it. Be amazing, be dad. She didn't break you, she gave you an opportunity to build a better life for you.
/r/MensRights22/02/24 10:30 AM
6

Not always the case. My mother in law is the kindest and one of the most honourable people I've ever met. She's still married to the same guy for over 45 years. Still comes out to drink coffee with me whenever she's in town, and will send me picks of the kids when they visit them. Ex hated how she always agreed with me and even banned me from talking to her. That should tell you much. Ex and her sister always treated her like a second class citizen, I stood up for her the first day I met her. Wh…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 09:46 AM
18

Screening is kind of useless as they can pretend to be a different person for a long time until they switch that off and you get to meet the real her during divorce and you will meet the real her whether you like it or not, that's what modern society has turned absolutely decent and loyal women into. What I will personally avoid in the future is women who did not have a healthier relationship with their dads. I travel and do many things with my daughter, I'm her go to guy and I hope it stays tha…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 06:11 AM
6

Allowing her in was not a good move but very compassionate from you. Lessons learned. These are all tactics, she wants to take advantage of you and she will cheat again. Move on man
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 09:19 PM
1

Doesn't matter. See a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 05:04 PM
72

Yep number one rule at work.
/r/MensRights21/02/24 01:55 PM
6

My crime is compromising who I was. Saying yes to everything and forgetting about me. Spending more time with my kids than with her because she was at work and I work the same hours too, but somehow always was there for the kids and had to work most evenings because I couldn't during the day due to kids. I made mistakes earlier on in the relationship that I should have addressed or cut my losses and move on. I should have learned to set boundaries in what I was willing to put up with. Blaming me…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 12:27 PM
1

When you do find her, make sure she doesn't move in. You want to enjoy your pension and not be working at 75 because you gave half of it away.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 11:57 AM
1

What's new? How dare we choose to take care of our mental health, find peace and enjoy life on our own? Of course it's all our fault.
/r/MensRights21/02/24 04:39 AM
5

Our ex wives did the same to us. Brother, don't try to save this marriage. Save you. I repeat save you. Save the man and the kids will be ok, not the marriage. Save you.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 04:26 AM
3

Please don't go back to her. Walk away. Don't go back.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 04:25 AM
4

Proceed with the divorce. You will live longer and life gets better.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 05:46 PM
5

Stop chasing stuff. Let life happen.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 06:05 AM
6

Never allow her back in if you want to grow old and actually enjoy all you've worked so hard for. There are women out there who check all the boxes. You will meet one.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 09:50 PM
2

I have a similar agreement. All updates through email, no contact except emergency. No messages on apps. I even went as far as making sure she doesn't open anything in my house should she ever come in. Don't go searching what I have been up to or what the kids had for dinner, none of your business. As for now exchange happens at the door. Kept my anger in check too.other than that I've been very reasonable and supportive. Should a relative's birthday or something take place in her family and the…
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 05:30 AM
11

Don't be naive.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 05:20 AM
6

It is such nonsense. They often think they can just go on with this after branching. I'm glad my kids know me through and through. I have always been with them so that crap is not happening. She can't move away with them either. 1.They will fight her. 2.I will drag her ass back to court and get full custody if the 50/50 is not enough for her.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 05:17 AM
-4

He should not, he should maintain his self respect and dignity at all times. A man should not be petty nor sink that low.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 03:31 AM
15

Bro you are not getting one, that would mean she has to look deeper into herself to accept what she did to you and your kids. Her only regret is that her branching wasn't successful. Don't waste your energy and time on someone who has a low opinion of herself.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 03:28 AM
1

That's all you need. Be good to yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 07:07 PM
5

Sage advice. Enjoy being around your kids, ignore her and control your emotions. She might come around, she may not but do things that you can control.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 06:22 PM
0

This is a very positive take. I never thought about the emotional part. I have avoided meeting any women because I'm emotionally not ready. I will try this next time I meet someone of interest. But if I can tell them what you just described I think a potential partner will hang around, but I also know I can't keep it up for forever, that would be unfair to her. Definitely something to think about when I ever get back into allowing someone into my life again.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 12:16 PM
1

As long as you know what some dude is doing to her, that should be enough to straighten you up.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 09:28 PM
3

I don't, why waste time on someone who willingly did that to you, it's not even been six months and some dude is ramming into her. You've got teenage daughters, ask them to help you with new clothes etc they'd be happy to hear you ask.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 07:06 PM
5

NAS - life's a Bth. Feels great waking up with this. I'm ready to enjoy my Saturday.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 08:38 AM
7

No contact is the key, too bad most of the men that come here realize it when it's too late and have given almost everything they worked hard for away because you know they wanted to reconcile or had the silly dream they were going to get back together. Once I went no contact I became stronger and stronger, then the gym happened. My self confidence came back, these days I wake up every day with a big smile. Life gets better, walk away guys and never beg them to stay.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 07:59 AM
2

The older guy is Jason from accounting.lol
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 07:50 AM
3

She thinks she has you and your lawyer cornered but that is far from it, do not lose your focus, imagine a life where you are free of all the nonsense and you are actually waking up on a Saturday morning and your kids are with you laughing and smiling with pillows being thrown around. That is where you want to be and not having to be homeless because you allowed her to manipulate, lie and destroy you. If you are not going to fight for yourself, at least let your kids inspire you to fight for the…
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 07:43 AM
2

amazing advice here. You got this bro. I'm heading to Jiu Jitsu class this evening. Find something similar in your area.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 03:34 PM
11

I'm not sure what the rules are for co-parenting in some places but in my case also 50/50. The only communication I have is whenever it involves the kids. Everything through email, emergency via phone. Nothing more nothing else. I have it in writing as part of the agreement. My mom did something like that to my dad, he never spoke bad about her, never showed any anger towards her. I figured things out on my own and discovered what an amazing dad he was, I was so God damn proud of him and feel ve…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 03:19 PM
5

Walk away and try to let go.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 08:35 PM
8

Definitely! I can't even describe what this place has meant to me. It's a safe space for us to talk about things that worry us and also help each other out.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 08:30 PM
5

Hahaha my man.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 08:03 PM
2

Man i haven't started dating yet, still working on myself and reading about how you feel makes me worry about this happening to me too. I hope I work on myself enough that I can at least enjoy sex with someone I'm seeing and hope she enjoys being with me as well.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 08:00 PM
6

Good. Whenever they want it, never hesitate. Give it to them, you'd be happy you did in the long run.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 04:26 PM
1

Ignore her and do what you need to do as a dad. She's going to throw everything at you, don't react. Ignore it all you will find strength by ignoring her and going on about your business.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 10:54 AM
3

Don't do it, her branching is probably not working out as fast as she'd have wanted. It shouldn't be at your expense.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 11:30 AM
8

Seems you already got an answer. Move on. Don't waste a second of your time with such a person. You have discovered her true self. We only see the real them when it's too late as they are good at hiding things unlike us.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 05:21 AM
10

We as fathers are doing fine with our kids. Society often thinks we cannot raise our little girls to be great individuals, how wrong they are. Let's move on brother. You are doing amazing and never allow her to come and ruin your peace ever again. Most of them don't like a peaceful household so they blow it up and destroy everything only to try and blame us. Whenever she shows up tell her this is what she wanted.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 05:17 AM
2

Beautiful, beautiful 😍
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 07:37 PM
3

The only way is up. Figure things out.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 06:34 PM
3

I had it put in writing. No contact through phone unless it's an emergency involving the kids. No text messages. Everything through email. Works great for me.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 09:44 AM
-1

He's a man, he doesn't need to get that low to her level. He should always be his authentic self.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 09:40 AM
8

You don't need to know anything about your replacement. Ignore her, your kids are teens. Move on gradually, don't even allow her to trigger you. You are not friends. If she wants to talk about how great that guy is who she just happens to have met, she can do that with her friends. Continue with ignore.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 06:02 AM
7

Awesome that you are there for him, says a lot about your character. Good friends are hard to come by. Wishing your friend all the best in these hard times. Makes me sick when these things happen to good people.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 09:59 PM
3

She knows how to mess with him. Op needs therapy for the sake of his kids. He's obviously ok with being fucked with on multiple levels because he doesn't see the picture. Fuck around and find out is my advice to him.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 09:48 PM
16

Man if you fall for this, then you deserve everything that happens to you from here. You think she'd even think twice about you if things had worked out with your replacement? If you like being plan B while losing every respect your kids have for you then by all means go ahead with it. Do remember though things never work out and you will mess up your kids lives again. Think about that. Don't be selfish, women will find you anywhere you go as long as you keep yourself healthy and stay in that go…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 09:40 PM
8

A man must have a code. Keep your dignity intact and do what you need to do. That dude is going to throw her out when he's done. Just concentrate on yourself and the kids, that's your number one priority. Don't even entertain her, walk away you are worth more than that. You are a man of high value. The best revenge is living well.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 05:49 PM
6

Beautifully written brother. Similar situation here though I'm not dating. Just enjoying myself with my kids, hobbies, family and friends. I didn't even know there was a religious dating app. Seems there's everything these days. Lol
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 06:25 AM
5

Stop engaging her and pour all your energy and love into your kids. Be also forgiven to yourself. She's trying to blame you as they always do as if you held her hands and said let me bring you to the AP. Ignore her and continue with the process. She needs to move out asap.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 06:12 AM
3

I need to fit BJJ into my schedule. There's a place not far away from me that does both and Judo as well.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 10:38 PM
3

Not much else to add to the above. You will have to navigate your new life with your kids and make it a good one. Your kids will thank you for that. Work on your goals too. Relationship coaching is pretty much what they use to tell everyone, they tried everything but things didn't change.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 09:29 PM
5

Do not get emotional, if she's the one that filed first, then she's had 1-2 years head start and she's going to cut you into pieces there. Stick to your demands but be ready to also be reasonable. It's all about give and take. Do what's best for the kids and yourself and for the love of God don't give up on your weekends. What I mean is try to get some weekends but don't end up with all weekends, you want to date at some point too. Make sure the weekends are evenly divided.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 08:40 PM
2

Commitment to them is the state and lawyers helping them to take half of what you have. Who needs the IRS when most women are literally the IRS?
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 07:31 PM
5

Nah I'm good, no one is moving in. Before I met ex, my sex life was awesome. After separation women still approach me with or without my kids. I'm in great shape, still healing for compromising and losing myself in the whole bullshit of a relationship where sex was great until it started feeling like she's forcing herself to have sex with me. Eventually I stopped trying. Sex should be intimate between two people who actually care and love each other. After a few times that it felt like she wasn'…
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 07:26 PM
13

When you come out from the other side with your self worth somewhat intact? Why would you put yourself in that situation again? Find a girl who has her own place, don't ever entertain any idea of moving in together.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 05:17 PM
3

Just ask. Be assertive.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 03:14 PM
8

Spot on! I've been on an amazing journey these past months after I was hit with the classic. I'm smiling again, gym, and outside activities. Going to tech conferences(line of work)met tons of new people, exchanged contact information, friends and family. My divorce is almost finalized and every visit to the mediator was a huge win for me because my mind was in the right place. I got everything I wanted. You need to see the big picture, they will always win at emotions. You win by being indiffere…
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 08:32 AM
10

It's always our fault. We as men can easily admit to all the wrongs we did in the relationship. Women never do. A man could lose everything and admit he made mistakes. If you ever meet a woman who admits to making mistakes without blaming men or other women for it, write a best seller.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 08:13 AM
20

You can't save the relationship. You need to move on and do it quickly. Find a place since you have a teenager and start building a new life of your own. Your replacement is probably lurking around. Save yourself years of pain and work on yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 07:33 AM
11

She wanted a divorce, arranged everything and I was hurting, then I got myself into gear and decided yeah let's do it, that's when she accused me of making the divorce permanent. See how they blame the guy as always? I shrugged it off and went ahead with the proceedings. Never expect an apology, if they do it a few months/years down the road, it means they need something or want to come back to make your now awesome life miserable again. Don't be that guy.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 03:52 PM
7

Gym, hobbies, therapy and get yourself together before you are ruined.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 03:42 PM
8

How's she doing now? I had it put in writing she's not to call me unless it's an emergency involving the kids. That hit hard. We are not friends. I live my life and so should she.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 03:41 PM
7

Amen amen amen brother. I'm slowly crawling back up too.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 03:39 PM
4

This right here. You won't get along with every therapist, find one that actually listens.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 12:56 PM
10

I wouldn't even reply though she's doing some self reflection. Here's hoping you have somewhat moved on and life is treating you well.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 11:44 AM
16

That would mean them taking a good look at themselves and being accountable.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 09:05 AM
1

Dude wtf. I have never been interested in emojis. Anyway thanks for pointing it out I will change it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 06:44 AM
1

It's our safe space. Countless of men suffering, admitting our mistakes and just being there for each other. It's going to stay that way. Women have lots of subs on reddit, they can go there. Female dating strategy and askwomem over 30 are worse than mgtow yet continue to exist.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 06:11 AM
2

It's $37,50, that's what the man is being shamed for.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 11:24 PM
5

To do that women need to take accountability and if I ever meet one who does, I mean genuinely take accountability, then sure but you already know what the answer is.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 11:21 PM
5

Glad you are doing some self reflection. We as men need to communicate better with our partners, share our feelings with them. Not saying what was on our minds and internalizing it hurts us in the long run. Imagine what could have happened without the silent treatment? You probably could have had better outcomes. Mine was sucking the life out of me, even the mediator noticed that and wrote down my concerns when it comes to having the kids, she's not allowed to dump them on me whenever she feels …
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 06:55 AM
1

Go to your cousin's wedding and have a great time. It's also a good place to look at other women and come out of there feeling like you are on steroids.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 11:48 PM
2

At 35 you should know better. You really need some growing up to do.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 10:08 PM
5

You came to troll. There's no other justification around it. You could have acted like an adult but that's hard for you.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 06:04 PM
3

I was about to say this. Name even gives it away. Yeah I was an X-Men fan as a kid and still have their first ever tv appearance on VHS (Betamax was far superior) somewhere at my mom's place lol.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 05:27 PM
3

The truth always comes out. Keep your self respect and dignity intact. Don't tell anyone what she did. Let your solicitor handle things. Also she's not staying in the house don't allow her to. You get to stay or sell it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 09:26 PM
4

That's because women probably in the long run can't stand other women. I have no evidence for this.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 07:10 PM
2

I feel you but it's all temporary. Two divorce friends of hers were involved in her messing with me, one was aiming for a job and is still hanging around her last I heard. I honestly don't even care. She never took any accountability for her role and never admitted to any faults. It was all my doing for spending more time with my kids than with her. Some higher up at her job who is married tickled her fancy or something. With me if I ever want to have a relationship again, things would happen or…
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 06:54 PM
5

She will likely cheat on him at some point anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 06:33 PM
3

Would you ever take her back if things don't work out with the other guy? I'm personally never allowing her back in.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 06:17 PM
7

I love you but am not in love with you is a classic and the childish way out almost all of them use. Like people are supposed to be in love forever. I hope you get through this coming out strong and in better shape to enjoy the rest of your life. Friendly advice, stay away from her phone.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 06:03 PM
5

Something most men learn too late. When they go never allow them back in again. You allowed her back in after the last breakup and look at the price you have to pay. Suffer you must. It's now time to rebuild your life and be happy and successful. Good luck and make the right choices going forward.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 07:42 AM
4

A friend of hers (who suddenly was at our house a lot and my ex at hers) recommended a therapist she was seeing, who had advised her to leave her partner, she did. She convinced my ex to do the same, well I ended up here lol
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 09:30 PM
3

Thank you for sharing man. I get to roll the dice one last time and you better believe I'm going to live.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 08:21 PM
1

There's more to life, try to enjoy the small wins, live healthy and see your daughter grow up to become an amazing human being.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 07:43 PM
6

Bro, I want nothing to do with her. She willingly blew up her family, didn't take any accountability, was extremely selfish in behavior, went on a tour of family and friends to make me the villain, and above all changed the lives of our kids forever. Nah I'm good. Work is great, kids and I are managing and life is ok. Exchange of kids is at the door, not inside my house, same for me. Everything else through email, phone if it's an emergency.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 03:15 PM
3

Man I hope her bullshit doesn't take a toll on your new partner. This is not what she signed up for.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 05:32 AM
6

It's called being a decent human being and having morals. Women know any guy will sleep with them, they just never consider the destruction they leave behind.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 05:25 AM
-7

After that, a shotgun wedding also a must.
/r/MensRights05/02/24 10:52 PM
2

I love this, a win is a win no matter how small.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 09:50 PM
3

Communication is mostly about the kids, exchange of households. She's blaming him for having his shit together. She wanted divorce because you know she wanted her own space and finding herself. When kids are involved you are forced to communicate and hopefully in a healthier way. Other than that guys should never entertain their ex wives. My rule is everything through email unless it's an emergency.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 07:27 PM
2

Mine wanted to be happy and a good mum. I was the issue. I took every blame across the board and smiled like 2PAC did with the bullets. She's realizing the consequences of her decisions. Nope can't blame me anymore. I've also never been in the business of reconciliation so that's not happening.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 05:46 PM
12

She abandoned her kids for a free lifestyle. It's not you, be glad you are a stable factor in your daughters lives.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 06:42 AM
1

That's enough for you to start on an exit plan. Eventually sex would be once a month and then boom once a year if you get lucky and I doubt you didn't marry her to be treated this way. You had plans and dreams together. My dreams are my own now, leaving something behind for my kids.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 02:15 AM
8

Pretty much. They start it and we finish it for them knowing we are ok.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 08:44 PM
1

What I was saying got misunderstood. She's married, has a child with another man, she made these choices. Why should your CS increase just because she made the decision to have a child with another man? You should see a lawyer and make sure she sticks to the current arrangements.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 07:23 PM
4

Thanks for sharing. Your post encouraged me to share my situation. It's tough.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 05:50 PM
4

Bro it happens! I was in a similar situation this week, and I lost it too. It involved my daughter and how she was treating her. I should be more alert and not allow her to trigger me like that, my emotions got the best of me and I felt bad for falling for it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 05:31 PM
5

Amazing
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 04:19 PM
8

How about he just move on? Lots of kind women out there.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 04:16 PM
14

Don't do this, follow through with the process. You compromise and you end up paying dearly for it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 12:41 PM
-5

It's none of your business, kick your ex out of your head dude. Why have you given her permission to occupy your headspace?
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 08:11 AM
9

We had it pretty good! She decided to destroy everything. Oh well the regrets are all hers. Turns out buying her out wasn't going to break me and I'm coming out stronger thanks to having a good financial advisor/accountant. Sometimes I wish I could start dating again though I know it's too soon which keeps me grounded.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 08:11 PM
7

Peace of Mind is worth every penny. Happy for OP.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 06:39 PM
1

You've got this, just trying to navigate the work, kids and social life is hard but we are men and know what works once we figure it out.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 04:23 PM
2

Op doesn't get it that at this point she has a low opinion of him. She's using him for her temporary entertainment until his replacement arrives. Hehehe
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 02:36 PM
3

Why are you texting her? Don't you have a life of your own to attend to? Interact with her when it concerns your child, other than that there's really nothing you should be wanting from her. Some guy is or will be ramming into her and you will be angry you didn't move on sooner.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 02:32 PM
3

Could it be that you got too attached or were moving in too soon? I feel your pain when life seems to be going your way and this happens. It's normal to feel angry and disappointed but I feel the most for your kids, try to manage their emotions so they are ok. This is kind of my fear, allowing a potential future partner to meet my kids. Ihe thought of that just scares. I think I will do that in year three of a new relationship and not sooner. Be safe man.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 05:54 AM
1

Nothing that I can currently think of. I just ignored all the red flags.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 05:36 PM
7

The hurt becomes lesser as you move on. You did what every classic guy would do me included and in the end you became a shell of your old self. Coming to terms with my own situation, I will never compromise in a future relationship, they always hold their ground and you are the one who compromises only to discover years down the road what you have truly lost, which is yourself. Be ok and love you. I cried this week for no reason or perhaps the realization of all the things I gave up to make some…
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 12:39 PM
1

Talk to a financial advisor if you want to keep the house. You can always try to make her a deal if the possibility is there.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 02:11 AM
3

Stay in the house.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 02:09 AM
8

I'm sorry dude. Tough times ahead. I was alone today and I just busted out crying. It's been hard emotionally. You will come out of this.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 01:00 AM
5

The more I look back the more everything makes sense. Hanging out with her divorced friends cost me the relationship but that's ok. We live and learn. It's been painful knowing this.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 09:11 PM
6

I'm only a few months in. No dating though I'd love to, being alone I have found to be alright, sure there are times that I get incredibly lonely but I take it as one of those days. My main focus is being in a good place. I hope you do meet someone you can connect with on a deeper level. Sometimes the loneliness and despair just creeps in.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 08:51 PM
1

Never get married again! With that said, there's always someone you can talk to, like you are doing with us now. What do you love to do? Whatever you love doing, find like minded people to do it with, you are not an island. Go for long walks if the gym isn't your thing. If you do hit the gym, avoid training alone, join one of those training sessions, it's a game changer, slowly people will talk to you invite you to come train etc. Do not isolate yourself my young brother. You got this. Let her g…
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 08:35 AM
3

Most of them are not realistic. I once spoke to a lady through friends who wanted her boyfriend to be the surfer/skater type. This woman was early 40s. I'm pretty sure these guys are out there, some with hair implants, but they are not looking for her, they usually date women in their 20s.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 07:12 AM
6

Don't waste your energy and time even thinking about this. Get on with your day and have a great day.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 06:07 AM
5

I hope you find a way to heal. Work on you, move on and put things in perspective. This could be the best thing ever to happen to you. You may not see it now but if you work on moving on, you'll come to realize how free you are and do things on your own terms. Learn to love yourself. It's perfectly ok to cry too.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 08:24 PM
2

Eloquently put sir. Bravo.
/r/MensRights29/01/24 07:05 PM
4

Read about Erin Pizzey! They went after her for speaking the truth. That's a brave woman.
/r/MensRights29/01/24 10:52 AM
2

Celebrate this victory. Enjoy every small step you make at finding yourself again and doing things you love.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 10:32 AM
1

You can do it too. I discovered calisthenics. I wish I had sooner, but there's a reason for everything in life. I'm in great shape. Got invited to some outdoor training sessions just by going to the gym.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 08:14 PM
3

Just hoping he doesn't meet up with her anymore. There's no reason to.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 05:13 PM
10

"Met some really good men" This was a trigger to rattle you. Good thing you didn't fall for it. Keep going and this should probably be the last time you meet with her. You are moving on and that's awesome.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 04:21 PM
3

Go for the 50/50, you have as much right as the ex to see your kids and be part of their lives in a positive way. Also as someone said, be patient, kids always come around. They need to get to know you and that takes time. Be patient and never bad mouth their mother.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 09:09 AM
5

Bro you are never going to heal nor be able to move on in your current situation, you will come to regret the wasted time and that will mess you up seriously.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 05:59 AM
5

Willingly signing a contract with the government. That's the thing though, will you be able to live with these red flags or are you willing to pay dearly for it 5-10 years down the road when you are just a shell of your former self?
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 08:58 PM
1

Thanks for the tip! I will try that one out as well.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 10:01 PM
2

Collection Prestige Nr 13. Saw it posted somewhere and thought I'd try it out.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 09:59 PM
10

This is one of the best places for us guys going through these difficult times. Thanks for sharing. Gonna order myself a cologne lol
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 09:47 PM
2

Well said! The best revenge is living well. I know it's hard but life gets better man. You will be fine. Focus on you and your kids. There was a time when I would give up on things I love because stbxw had to go somewhere and I had to stay at home with the kids, this went on for years. I could have met more people doing cool stuff, but anyway no one should live in the past. These days I live my life and not dwell on what could have been. Be safe brother.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 09:35 PM
2

Well this is certainly the first time I've witnessed this on here. I think you two need to be adults and not drag your kids into this. They are not a part of the issues you both created.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/24 08:42 AM
7

He said everything most of us are thinking. Op has a long way ahead of him. There's no excuse for his behavior as a man with a family.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/24 06:48 AM
5

Hey OP! I hope you and your stbxw or wife find peace and guidance through all of this. Tough situation and you've basically destroyed her. Find a way to communicate with her and work hard to make sure your son is ok. Most guys don't even have the privilege to move out and are either homeless or sleeping in their cars working hard to get back on their feet while drowning in lawyer fees. I once mentioned to my stbxw that we didn't have sex or were intimate anymore, she told me she was busy with wo…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/24 06:34 AM
4

When my stbxw's divorce friend appeared my relationship was over. No one knew she was getting a divorce. Just turned up one day saying she's divorced. A few weeks later my relationship stranded once they started hanging out.
/r/MensRights20/01/24 06:31 PM
6

I forgot to mention, she's not moving in. As an adult she has her own place and I need my space for me time. Last time I compromised I ended up losing myself. It's been a work in progress and an emotional journey. I will never put myself in that place again. My wellbeing and mental health comes first.
/r/MensRights19/01/24 03:55 PM
8

This is my current path. No way I'm ever marrying again. We can have a good time, care deeply for each other but no marriage. There's no way I'm willingly going to the firing squad again to be shot and my body dropped down the road.
/r/MensRights19/01/24 03:06 PM
-3

That's more like trying to control your partner. Yeah your partner is going to run away if you are going to question whenever she comes in late for anything. That's not healthy at all for any relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 04:08 PM
2

Honestly I don't know you but we have been here for a while and i think you are doing alright. Keep pushing, we will get there. Once I flipped that switch every day has been a win, sure there are bad days but I get up and do what I need to do and it's still a win if you can get through the day with a little smile.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 01:31 PM
6

Let it go for now but at some point you need to talk to her, this is the behaviour of a child who really loves you and is just upset you are not in her life as much as she would like to. I suspect you were always her strength even if you didn't show it in a way that she would like to. Give her time, you both need healing and becoming friends again. Assuming this wasn't written by the ex wife.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 06:01 AM
3

Keep your mental health intact, you really don't want to go through this again. Do you think she'd be trying to get back with you if the issues she had with you were solved by the other guy? Your number one priority is yourself and your kid. Your future is with a great fun and loving lady who would also love your child. Just imagine the guy she's with doesn't even know she's planning a pre-emptive strike on him.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 06:27 PM
3

What happens to the other guy she's currently married to? Does she have any kids with him? This all sounds like a huge mess you don't want to put yourself and your daughter through again. The grass wasn't greener on the other side after all. You are a grown man make a decision and stick with it. I'll take peace of mind any day of the week. Also have some self respect.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 06:10 PM
1

Sometimes it's good to know that you have his back. Kindness and appreciation goes a long way. What may seem silly to you could mean the world to him, be mindful of that.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 09:38 PM
16

She's not living fine, it's all fake. You will come out on top when all is said and done. You are going to be in a dark place for a while but at some point you need to flip that damn switch and start working on yourself, your kid needs you and you don't want your kid around a drug dealer long term. Take time to heal and work on yourself, see a therapist to help you through these difficult times. We are here if you want to vent. Don't suffer alone.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 08:49 PM
8

That's what most of them use counseling for. They get to tell their family and other divorced friends they did everything they could to save the relationship. The part where they've been messing with some dude and you've become the enemy in your own house doesn't get mentioned.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 10:13 PM
19

Someone said a while ago that they always hold their ground while we compromise only to discover what we have given up years later. Hearing that really shook me to the core. I gave up so much just to keep the peace, big mistake. Never doing that ever again. I'm rediscovering my old self again. It's been an emotional journey.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 10:02 PM
10

Reading this gives me a huge sigh of relief. There must be some awesome adult women out there worth being with?
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 09:46 PM
10

Summary Stbxw has a 25 years old son Son lives in the basement with a parttime job and probably doesn't pay rent and eats for free Sons buys Pokemon and Cigarettes with money from parttime job Son moves girlfriend into said basement who also eats for free Son's girlfriend has a young kid who lives with girlfriends mother The wife of the OP doesn't give a shit What is happiness?
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 05:58 PM
1

Spot on! She and the counselor ganged up on me because I needed fixing. I've been told by everyone around me never to take her back. I almost had a burnout because I was working, looking after my kids and doing almost everything in the household.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 05:48 AM
3

It didn't help my relationship, I changed she didn't. Go for it alone you'd be happy you did.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 05:41 AM
3

In such cases, just be wise and mind your own business, you already have enough to deal with. Think of your own health and safety.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/24 07:24 PM
4

Man if I tell you all the stunts she's pulled, it hasn't been easy, but a man must have a purpose and plan for his future. Myself and my two kids are my main focus, whatever she does is up to her. Have a purpose even if it's going to the gym a few times a week or long walks, or something you've always wanted to do. Put yourself out there, it will do wonders for your wellbeing. They always move on quickly but don't let that get to you, it hurts but you learn to get on with your life.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/24 10:35 AM
20

I've been going through divorce and never once did I ever look at her phone. There was a time that she would be on her phone and hide it as soon as she saw me until she realized I didn't care. Focus on you, trust me you are going to need it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/24 07:33 AM
3

I never really understood why they do this. Mine is stalling and coming up with all sorts of things that she initially agreed upon. At this point I do not know what she wants. I just want to move on.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/24 10:00 PM
3

Thanks. The mediation process is intense and for the first time I was very emotional as the discussion went into how the kids will spend their time with us. It was just painful knowing that I will not see them every morning like I used to and that our lives are going to be different. Good luck with your divorce, go through the motions and come out strong. We all are.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/24 08:34 PM
1

Yep so many families are getting destroyed. My stbxw is now stalling the process and all I want is to move on. It's frustrating but I have to be patient and keep the peace for the sake of the kids even though it's tearing me apart.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 06:16 PM
2

Do it for yourself. It's a long process.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 05:57 PM
7

Bro, get the divorce out of the way, enjoy alone time, hobbies, new activities, meet new people and just be comfortable with being a single dad. The women will find you when you work on yourself, your daughters will be happy for you and also spend time with her. When it comes to daughters you wanna hear dad has a cool girlfriend or you can go the route where they will make her miserable. It's too soon like everyone is telling you.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 08:14 PM
5

Congratulations and good to hear things are finally over. Enjoy your new life and take good care of yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 09:43 PM
2

I hit the gym, went running and still take long walks. I go to the gym a few times a week not because I want to work on my looks, for me it helped me clear my mind. The only thing I do at the gym is join a group training and it's been amazing for me mentally. It's helping in my healing process, less stress and some healthy benefits. I'm not there to lift as I don't even like that.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 07:23 PM
2

I literally saw a t-shirt somewhere that said the p***y is not yours, it's just your turn. It happened to all of us. Let the new guy have his fun.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 08:10 AM
3

Yeah, finding this sub has helped me a lot and continues to. We are still working with the mediator and hopefully we can finalize things before summer. The best part is I have had ladies try to talk to me at the gym, bar and at work. I'm not ready and won't be for a year or more. Just working on myself, might even start some new biz as soon as we are done. I just want to spend time with my kids, just the three of us as we figure our new life out. I think she's already seeing someone but who care…
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 05:34 AM
9

I'm in a similar situation but I'm not seeing anyone. There are days that I'm cheerful and days that I feel sad as I think about my kids and what it is like for them, my six year old who I go running with telling me she's tired of having to spend a week here a week there broke me. Still I get up every day to go to work, do what I need to do and just try to make the best of my current situation. Most days I feel a lot of pain as I try to navigate my new life. It takes time but this place has help…
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 04:58 AM
3

Couples therapy? Go at it alone to help with your healing and hopefully you can rebuild your life and move on. I'm still struggling, some days I'm ok and other days I'm down but I keep going because that's all I can do. I hope you find the strength to move on.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 10:12 PM
4

The tattoos are coming. They always seem to get a tattoo which of course they regret later. Don't put your energy into an ex wife.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 06:05 AM
5

A friend described that kind of peace to me. It took me a while to understand it. I really get it now.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/24 09:50 PM
1

It's a classic.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/24 09:44 PM
2

I went to counseling too, though I discovered she had been going alone for a while and by the time I got brought in, it was to fix me and not her. I got the I love you but not in love with you line. I accepted it and worked with her to start the divorce process, she now has a lot of regret but I've already moved on, my 6 and 9 year old are always with me and I hope to finalize things this year. Looking forward to a new life. Turns out I'm still in the game, women approach me out of nowhere even …
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/24 07:39 AM
27

This is where you learn to keep your emotions under control and start dealing with her like a business partner.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 10:22 PM
0

Hang in there. Things are going to move quickly at some point.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/24 07:22 PM
2

Agreed. My dad has passed and in the moment of my pain, I realized how much I miss him. First thing I did was to look at my phone thinking I'm going to call dad but the realization that he's not here anymore cut through me. My brother, cousin and friends saved me. I also don't give my gym credit enough but they played a crucial role in my healing. I'm still healing but I'm in a far better place and much happier than I was a few months ago. This place has been amazing too. Life gets better guys h…
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 07:15 AM
4

It's all about letting go. Life will still continue with or without you so you may as well make the best of it and take good care of yourself. See a therapist if you have to, it helps in the long run. Happy to read things are going well.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 10:43 PM
3

See a lawyer quickly! Good luck because you are going to need it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 03:31 PM
16

Happy holidays brother, have an amazing life with your kids and may you continue to be the best dad ever.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 10:09 AM
3

Your last holiday with her. You will have nicer holidays with your kids. Maybe even with your new partner if you work hard on yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 11:40 AM
3

You really need to move on, it's hard but try to, you will benefit from it in all areas of your life in the long run.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 11:38 AM
8

Don't destroy yourself man. Throw away that bottle and become the man and father you'd like to be starting with the new year. You got this and you can do it. You will also meet some amazing people by working on yourself. Happy holidays brother.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 07:30 AM
8

Wishing you all the best in your journey of self discovery and possibilities. Do take a few minutes each day to check in with yourself from time to time and don't lose your focus. Stay healthy.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 09:42 AM
3

I think you need to set your boundaries on what you are ok with and what not. Remember there are kids involved and they are watching.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 08:42 AM
7

In my early teens I used to work at a grocery store and the manager there and I will chat on and off. He once told me how a beautiful woman had been pursuing him but he was married and couldn't afford to start a new relationship so he ignored her advances. I asked him why and what he said came back to haunt me years later as I go through my divorce. He said divorcing her would mean him losing everything he's worked so hard for, looking back he was unhappy.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 09:43 AM
1

Perhaps Tiger has learned some valuable lessons through the years?
/r/MensRights18/12/23 02:31 PM
6

Learn to be happy by yourself. Enjoy your own space. It provides the best outcome going forward. Glad to hear you had a great time. It is very refreshing.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 08:28 AM
4

You are supposed to cry and beg so she could look at you in disgust. Read this place, a lot of guys do that and it doesn't help them at all.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 06:12 PM
2

Absolutely! One will almost always feel like they are being forced against their will to stay in the relationship. I realized she didn't want to be in it and it was just talking points for her " I did everything and it didn't work when they have long made up their minds before suggesting counseling" It helped me, why force someone into something they do not want to be in?. Imagine if she had stayed? She'd be walking around in the same house with lots of hatred towards me and I'd probably be thin…
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 06:09 PM
1

First things first! What do you want? A girlfriend won't solve your issues or whatever you are currently going through. Work on the job and start slowly building yourself up again, the women will come. Just work on you. That part is crucial.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 02:35 PM
4

Life is only going to get better from here. You have your kids and you are going to do well. All this will pass. When my stbxw decided she doesn't want to be together anymore I experienced the worst two weeks of my life, but I adjusted after that and set things in motion. Be kind to yourself, she blew up a good family but you can move on and rearrange your life and that of the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 08:47 AM
9

I hear you man. I made a mental switch after she said she loves me but is not in love with me anymore. I quickly hit all the stops and now she doesn't know what to do with herself. I chose me. She now wishes she hadn't said that but I'm so far gone that she's tried to reconcile but I'm not in that business, as soon as I tasted freedom again I went all in. Anyway on my way to pick up Resident Evil 4 for the PS5. Going to the movies with my kids after I pick them up from school. Life gets better. …
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 08:43 AM
5

I've seen guys crying at their Weddings not knowing what truly awaits them in the future.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 08:35 AM
7

The only contact I have with the stbxw is when it comes to the kids. I do not want to be friends. Couples therapy didn't change her, it changed me and made me aware of a lot of things and I'm very grateful for that. Move on guys I see a lot of beautiful women every day at work, at the gym, at the supermarket and all sorts of events and yet I'm currently not interested. Let them go, walk away and take good care of yourself and your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 05:41 AM
1

Refreshing to read this. Thanks for sharing brother. Ever since the D started, I wake up every day just being grateful for being alive, being able to spend time with my kids, calling family even though they are far away and hanging out with my friends. Going jogging with a friend of mine, we lost touch but recently reconnected again. Honestly life gets better, stay healthy guys, your kids need you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 11:36 AM
5

Think about your daughters. You are basically telling them it's ok the way their mom has been treating you. They are taking notice and will do the same to some poor guys who have no clue what they are getting into.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 07:17 AM
6

Do you have any friends? They are probably telling you the same thing. Get yourself out before she destroys you. Come on man what else does she need to do to you before you get the message. Looking at the big picture it doesn't favor you at all if you go on like this.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 05:49 AM
7

His lawyer has just warned him and I hope he does take his advice. Why would you put yourself in a position where you willingly get taken to the cleaners. She did you a favor and you need to run with it before it's too late in this situation. Don't get yourself financially ruined.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 05:21 AM
2

My crime was spending more time with the kids than with her. Not attending her family's social gatherings often because you know always being with the kids made me always run out of time for a lot of stuff. I will work late in the evening when the kids are finally in bed because it was hard during the day. My worst crime was family time because I shouldn't have been too busy arranging things because my dad had passed away and nobody cared about how I felt about losing my dad. Shortly after that …
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 10:03 PM
64

This woman rejected you, blew up a good family. Do you really want to wake up each day next to such a person?
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 09:18 PM
5

You will be fine Tom, we changed but they never did. You will be an awesome dad and have a great life.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 10:03 AM
1

People are you know people.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 09:16 PM
15

I once knew a guy who lost his beloved yacht after the divorce. Don't be that guy in the future.
/r/MensRights10/12/23 02:09 PM
3

Mine was a lack of time. I was always running all over the place doing things while she was away. I didn't even have time to play videogames, imagine that? I was always tired while she will sit around read the newspaper and having a cup of tea. Now I have time to take care of myself and going forward I will never allow this to happen to me again.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 06:11 AM
10

This is how mine has been going as well, we will finalize things soon, but we've both been professionals about it and nobody wants to be financially ruined. Thing is I still treated her well and still do, yeah it sucks how we ended up this way but we both want the best for us and the kids so there's that. Going forward she will need me more with the kids than the other way around. Best to go out without anyone feeling screwed. Our meditator has been amazing in dealing with the whole thing. Much …
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 04:47 PM
9

He will never be a worthy replacement. He's f**Ked. You on the other hand get to move on, start a business if you want, come to your home whenever you damn want and life will be smiling with you if you play your cards right. Let's go
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 11:26 AM
13

Brother I just want to give you a hug.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 08:39 PM
6

Too many guys go in thinking I'm going to do what's best for her and the kids. Don't ever do this. She's another guy's problem now. Get whatever you can get out of the divorce and don't settle for getting your life destroyed.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 07:55 AM
4

Sure go ahead and reconcile without taking the time to work on yourself and reassess the situation that led to the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 09:45 PM
2

Get in touch with family and friends. No matter how long it's been, they are going to be there for you. I'm having dinner this evening with one of my friends who moved away, but we kept in touch and has been very supportive, another wants to know when I'm free to do something. Get in touch with them bro. The stbxw temporarily delayed the inevitable, these people never went away. Get in touch with them.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 08:12 AM
9

Of course they see it as strength because the law has given them the opportunity to take half of what you have. It should be a slogan at City hall "Marriage we've got what it takes to take 50% of what you have and more"
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 07:48 AM
2

My stbxw hangs out with divorced friends, somehow I knew interacting with them was going to cause trouble and it did, I told her long ago divorced women hate women in stable relationships and here we are. She was getting advice from them but I've been doing my homework long before she tried to preempt me. These women are miserable and bad mouth their ex's all the time. If you've seen the face of someone that says I've made a huge mistake that is my stbxw. Two lady friends I've known long before …
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 07:39 AM
3

Hehehe I'm getting a motorcycle license next year, it's been a dream of mine and I always saw myself riding on it across the country. I was going to die because I have young kids is what I heard all the time.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 09:28 PM
3

I know I know. I used to live link a monk, kids are learning this from me too. Don't misplace things. Put them where you took it from so you can find it easily next time you need it. It's amazing.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 09:21 PM
8

Take care of yourself and your kids. It hurts and you will have some really painful days but I guarantee you will get out of this stronger and better.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 09:17 PM
2

Do not get in touch, there's no benefit for your wellbeing. Nice to hear you are in a good place now, keep working on yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 12:56 PM
9

I did something similar with my son, will be doing the same with my daughter soon. The feeling of just being you, something that I neglected for years and have recently rediscovered again. Just being me is something I will never give up again.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 12:03 PM
10

I'm really enjoying my personal space and peace of mind. I could spend the whole day in my house while not working and just be there. So peaceful. I'm slowly getting back to cleaning my place on Fridays after work, something I used to do so I can chill on Saturday and Sunday doing other stuff that I find fun and interesting. Stbxw comes and goes but I'm getting used to being on my own again and I'm looking forward to being completely free. Got myself a PS5s and will be playing games with my brot…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 09:56 PM
1

Get out there and fight for your rights. You are not doing this for yourself but also for your daughter and her future. Throw your emotions out for now, and get to work.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 07:47 AM
2

Fully agree, no one should be a punching bag or a doormat for others to use.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 06:21 AM
4

Be professional about it, don't be a jerk it's a waste of your energy, besides treating mom with respect regardless of all the shit she may have pulled would be the best gift you could ever give your kids. A man must have a code (professor Bunk from the Wire). You are also an honest man with self respect and dignity.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 09:49 PM
8

Thanks. We men need a place to share what we go through. It's not an echo chamber to belittle our ex wives or ex-girlfriends. It's a place for us to vent, talk to those in similar situations and at the end of the day be great fathers to our kids, and hopefully build a normal relationship with our ex wives if the room is there to do so. I'm very grateful for this place. Thank you for all the help and insights provided.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 09:41 PM
38

I was in a relationship where I withdrew because there was no room for me to speak my mind, it affected me in many ways, I couldn't even watch football in my own home or listen to the radio on Saturday mornings, something i enjoyed, then gaming. Take a step back and reevaluate your relationship. I learned to look after myself and my own well being. It was a very authoritarian household.
/r/MensRights02/12/23 11:20 AM
1

Those who blame you are some people who lack morals. The fact that your ex wife has poisoned your daughters doesn't seem to bother them at all. The relationship you had with them is gone and will never be the same again. I also feel sorry for their future partners because the same faith awaits them a few years down the line. Society loses big in the end because you get destroyed families and people who end up at therapists with all sorts of pain and distrust in their fellow human beings.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/23 06:07 AM
1

The thing is, they often think we are stupid because we keep quiet about things.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 03:04 PM
2

The guy (Red Skull )on Vormir said, we all think that at first hehehe. To add, never chase them, a chase always has an end. Do what you will with the advice you've gotten here. Much love and take good care of yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 09:33 AM
6

You did it with good intentions, don't ever forget that. You were loyal and worked hard to look after your family. Find a new purpose in life and above all always put yourself first.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 07:35 AM
2

We haven't heard his part of the story, it's just you blaming him for everything that went wrong. Perhaps he didn't want more kids but we would never know would we?
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 05:48 AM
2

Yes it is and may be so but the guy who holds his head up high, slowly works on himself and rebuilds his life, comes up in a better place when all is said and done.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 05:42 AM
1

They bring you in there for the therapist to bless what they are about to do to you. I've seen many men brought to counseling to get destroyed. It takes years to recover.
/r/MensRights30/11/23 10:13 PM
0

When I went to therapy, stbxw would cry and I could see me being the target in the room, I started telling my story and how I do pretty much everything in the house, including picking up and bringing my kids to school while I had a job. I think everyone needed an oxygen mask in that room. Lol
/r/MensRights30/11/23 10:06 PM
3

What a great post. You handled that pretty well.
/r/MensRights30/11/23 09:54 PM
7

Good on you, self control is the key. You held your head up high, still have your dignity and self respect intact.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/23 05:56 PM
5

You kind of brought this onto yourself, it happens. Go to therapy, might take years to recover, but start today and learn from this awful experience. You kids need a mentally stable dad and not a bitter one.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/23 05:51 PM
15

Don't even discuss what's going on in your life with her. Gone is gone. You live on your own terms now.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/23 05:39 PM
27

Let that sink in. She cheated and yet she was the victim. It's all the guys'fault for working 60+ hours a week compromising his quality of life so someone else could be happy.
/r/MensRights30/11/23 11:14 AM
2

I'm not sure everyone would agree but I'd rather wait until you are divorce before finding that job that pays better. Remember you want to be financially healthy when she's gone and not allow her to take half of what the new job will be helping you with.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/23 05:53 AM
24

When they come up with counseling, one should file for divorce immediately. It means they have had a year or two to prepare their exit and are using counseling to justify their decision. That's when they get to narrate the whole thing by telling everyone they did all they could to save the relationship so people will feel sad for them and the man becomes the bad guy.
/r/MensRights30/11/23 05:47 AM
2

They do end up with those guys who are knights in a shining armor, though you'll also find them all over the place still complaining about the guy they left a few years ago who is now actually doing better in all aspects of his life including an upgrade with a new lady that checks all the boxes. Trust me they look in the mirror and scream because the person they left behind is living his life.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/23 09:24 PM
5

Hopefully they've seen and experienced their moms ways and how unhealthy that is for their own relationships in the future.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/23 10:08 AM
12

You are winning. The more you stay silent the more they make asses out of themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/23 09:54 PM
5

You are getting a lot of great advice here. Do yourself a favor and not become her backup plan.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/23 09:51 PM
15

Bro, throw your emotions out of the window before you are totally destroyed. Keep working on yourself and don't allow her to mess with you.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/23 09:44 PM
6

Don't end up like Phil Collins.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/23 09:40 PM
2

There was a time that I looked forward to spending the holidays with her family but due to her demands and no self reflection on her part I stopped going. Now I enjoy the holidays again, seeing family and friends and just being home and thankful for everything I have been through. Life goes on and it gets better.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/23 09:16 AM
2

A bit self defeating my friend. Look at all aspects of your life and improve where you can, ask for help where you need one. Learn to love yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/23 09:00 AM
1

Pretty interesting analogy, though I use the art of submissiveness but I like the ambassador. lol
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 07:51 PM
9

You can still find other women to sleep with.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 07:58 PM
4

Op please do not do this..... unless you love living in misery.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 07:49 PM
6

Visit the r/askwomenover30 sub and you will think twice before getting into a relationship ever again.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 07:38 PM
5

The best thing a friend told me when the whole divorce thing started was, don't be confrontational, stay calm and arrange things, the one that stays calm is the one that comes out of this in a better state. He was right and I'm going to give him a big hug when all of this is over. Stay calm, cancel that cc and plan your exit. There will be a lot of punches coming your way, accept what is.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 08:36 AM
6

Just a friendly chat doesn't even do it for me anymore. I think it's going to take a while or years before I allow someone into my life again. These days I just concentrate on taking care of my kids, going to work and taking care of me. That's all I need.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 02:10 AM
3

Agreed well said.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/23 09:40 AM
1

My stbxw wanted to reconcile and the therapist wanted to discuss it. I told the therapist I'm not into the reconciliation business but I'm willing to see him one on one to work on myself and move on and that's the path I've chosen. Looking into life now and the future, it's the best decision and my kids feel more comfortable around me so yeah, we are good. Going to work in my garden, it's cold as f**k but who cares.Heading to the gym this afternoon, then play a few games, watch football and mayb…
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/23 09:30 AM
2

There are two people in a relationship, it's not your fault alone. Take time to take care of yourself, rediscover you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 02:26 PM
1

Pretty good advice. The begging part is at the core. Don't beg her, take it and be strategic. Remember she's in a better place than you and can clean you up because she got a one to two years head start and is holding the knife. How deep she twists it is up to your reaction and how you deal with it. Cry in your car or when alone but don't go oh look how sad I am, because she's going all in.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 09:48 AM
1

It's time for you to get into business mode. It's like negotiating a salary at your new job. Make sure you get what you are worth so you don't look back thinking you are underpaid.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 07:34 AM
3

The same thing happened to me over a family BBQ. I felt betrayed, you move on slowly, much love Op. You and your daughter are going to be best friends. Take good care of her and do not say negative things about her mom.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 05:57 AM
2

Damn dude, move on before you waste half of your life over someone who moved on long ago and is enjoying her life.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/23 09:06 PM
1

Hmmm ok. Good luck then. I've known most of these parents since they started school a few years ago so yeah my kids play with their kids, it's never been an issue. Must be where you live.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/23 08:17 PM
1

You'd rather choose not to ask any parent for their kids to play with yours? Hmmm ok.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/23 07:53 PM
2

That depends on your approach. It's usually the kids that ask me or their parents if they can play with my kids. Besides that it's the usual good morning just like normal people do. You can make small talk without being creepy.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/23 02:44 PM
2

I have a few numbers of the moms and dads at my kids school because I volunteer my free time to help. Been doing this since they started school. What it did was open the door for me to be able to message some of the moms for picking up the kids after playdates. Try to speak to them when you bring the kids to school, that's what I did and established trust from there. Stbxw hates it but there's nothing she can do. I'm driving my daughter and other kids from her class to an excursion. Do it for my…
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/23 06:12 AM
17

I know what you are going through. Hang in there. I still sit in my car and last night I went for a long drive for no reason at all. I'm still trying to recover. Much love and be kind to yourself. It's tough and we will pull through.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/23 02:56 AM
2

Congratulations! Just live your life on your own terms.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 07:22 PM
1

Sounds harsh but if Op is reading this, you may have just saved him from years of pain ahead. At the end of the day it's up to him to choose whichever bullet he wants. Though I hope he reads this. For us men we often end up too late connecting the dots, while they have already checked out years in advance. Get a lawyer and quickly Op, you have enough time to be emotional after that.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 10:18 AM
8

You will get there, just pick up the pieces and rebuild your life. I came to my own home from work for a family BBQ (her family) to discover she's told them she's getting a divorce. I had no idea I was coming to my own home to be shot. I've still not fully recovered from that and it will probably take a few years for me to adjust with therapy.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 06:47 AM
3

Advice for the ages. I'm actually extremely lucky this didn't happen to me in my 50s or 60s. I'm going to build my life the way I want and on my own terms. I also discovered women want to date me by the way they approach me(just being out with my kids turns out to be a huge magnet too, something I never noticed while I was in a relationship), though I'm not ready to entertain the idea yet. I won't be dating for the next two years or so.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 06:21 AM
1

You do know these things take time right? It could take from a year to two before you are in a good place. Give yourself time and allow the therapist to do his/her job.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 05:57 AM
3

What do you want the therapist to help you with?
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 09:40 PM
2

Surely there are other women? You could pay for a service and go home free after that. Not sure why you would willingly put yourself in harm's way.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 09:30 PM
10

Avoid confrontation, just file for divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 05:52 AM
1

Don't be naive is all I'm going to say. That's how you get locked in.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 07:53 PM
1

Whatever you do now is really none of her business. Enjoy yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 07:48 PM
11

My only regret is not putting myself first and taking care of me. I was more occupied with taking care of the home and kids while she pursued a career. I work the same hours as she does and yet doing all the stuff that comes with the home and kids eventually almost cost me everything including my mental and physical health.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 07:30 AM
3

We are here, don't be alone. Just go through the motions and don't suppress it.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 09:44 PM
3

You should learn to let go. I'm actually glad or how should I say this, grateful that she called it quits now rather than later .Just imagine if I had been in my 50s or 60s? I'd have struggled to make up for lost time. Today I'm just going through life and slowly rebuilding my future. I was at a 30plus club last weekend and two women actually approached me asking if I wanted to dance, one actually said you don't have to if you don't want to. Yep I still got it, talking to friends, hitting the gy…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 07:21 AM
2

You could save his life by sending him this link. https://youtu.be/o5z8-9Op2nM?si=YyfDnozqgPzcpkI2
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/23 07:33 PM
4

Good luck and try to do the right thing.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 06:01 AM
2

Hehe I'm never going down that hole ever again. Before I got into a relationship, I enjoyed being single and having my own place and time. I came and went whenever I wanted. A few more months to go before things have been settled between us. I can't wait to live alone again.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 05:37 PM
3

Hang in there! Your kids will figure things out and resent her ruining any relationship she has with them. Don't lose hope.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 05:34 PM
1

May be? Try saving the marriage if it means the world to you by getting her off of Netflix and actually engaging her in some deep conservations. Talk to her, don't go the I need to fix her route.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/23 01:48 AM
4

Your sister has your back, you are going to need her going forward. Be kind to her as you work on yourself and this is not the end. Much love.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 06:22 AM
5

It's not a defeat and absolutely not the end of your life either. But you need to start taking the steps to move on or you end up not seeing the big picture before it's too late. Focus on you and wish her well, she was after all 30 long years a part of you, that's not something you can just throw out.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 06:17 AM
2

Love it when I hear these stories. Some of us have a long way to go but there are good times ahead. Stay strong whatever you are going through and be vulnerable, it's part of the healing.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 10:40 AM
1

Thanks for sharing bro. Some of us need a perspective and the bigger picture makes sense.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/23 04:28 AM
1

Pay a service provider to jerk you off then. That's literally no strings attached. You can pay her to hug you too. Eduard Norton did it with Meatloaf in fight club.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 06:34 PM
1

Try to discover who you were again. You are still a kind, loving person. Do not allow what happened to you to consume you. Be kind to yourself, love yourself again because you are still awesome.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 06:20 PM
4

She's gone by Hall and Oates. Not really cheerful but I'm still working on myself and every now and then I need to stand still think about what was and how life is going now.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 12:49 PM
4

He's right. I was at the 30+ plus disco last night, I haven't been there in years. I ordered a drink, and stood at the bar for a while looking at all the dancing people. I joined them later and danced for a while then this cool dude joins me, he introduces himself, we had a chat, I felt nostalgic and sad looking at those with their girlfriends/wives/partners and thought to myself I was once winning at life too but also realized I was in a good place and wouldn't want to trade my peace of mind an…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 07:17 AM
3

Perhaps you shouldn't be dating at all for now? How about you work on yourself?
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 07:01 AM
9

Absolutely separate your emotions from this, read some of the threads here, lots of guys went in with their emotions and now have their balls tired to their faces, most losing everything. You will have many times to be emotional, cry but counselling, mediation etc are not the places to be emotional. You got fired from a job you thought was safe, time to be flexible and dynamic.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 12:17 PM
4

Most of you need to see a therapist. I'm doing fine, I have days when I'm down but most of the time I'm doing fine, I'm at the gym, I train alone once a week and do groupstraining including yoga two to three days a week. I've had time to reflect on things and she wasn't actually a kind person towards me or others, a spoiled individual who only thought about herself and knowing this and not having her in my life gives me peace. My peace of mind is non-negotiable. Will I ever date again? I'm not s…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 05:41 AM
7

Go into this like a business man, once they go cold, they are out to tear you into pieces because you are emotional and they went on that trip a year or two ago. Use logic and be like a secondhand Xerox salesman.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/23 06:04 PM
0

By next year he'd be a broken man because he delayed the inevitable and it would be of his own making.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/23 05:52 AM
3

Whatever you are going through, life gets better, leaving the kids behind will have consequences you won't be able to repair later on. They know what you are going through and they will stick with you, just be their dad, that's all they need from you, be dad. Awesome dad.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 08:53 AM
13

See you didn't lose anything, enjoy your life and hope you meet someone new who is actually happy to be with you.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 07:20 PM
3

Choose the alternative. As the saying goes sometimes losing your job is the best thing that could happen to you.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 02:41 PM
1

No regrets. I learned a lot and experienced a lot. I love my kids and they are the best thing to have ever happened to me. Life goes on.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 10:27 AM
2

Thanks for sharing, we are winning and we need to continue to work on ourselves. Enjoy the win brother.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 10:23 AM
2

Begging is just cutting yourself into pieces without her twisting the knife.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 10:02 AM
3

Man I was driving around and a song came on, I became very sad and the tears were running down, but I wasn't thinking about her, I was thinking about my dad and how much I miss him, I wish he was still alive. He always had a way to make me laugh even in difficult times. You'll get over her, don't worry about it too much. Heal brother, heal your soul.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 08:16 PM
2

You are healing. Keep going, there will be days that you are happy and days that you look back and feel down, don't dwell on it. The key is working on yourself. Read the link below, it's full of angry and bitter women, though they won't admit it, the guys went on to do better things with their lives, now they stand in front of mirrors scream and think about what it could have been. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenOver30/s/oCLCPfRme6
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 07:47 AM
6

Not happening anytime soon as the current crop of males cry at their Weddings.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/23 07:09 PM
2

I did pretty much everything in the house, kids even tell the moms and teachers at school when they start blabbing about mom ironing their clothes, only for the kids to tell them it was dad. Her friends will come over and they will be saying to her I didn't know your guy does all that in the house. Even her own mom knows lol. Anyway now she's about to find out what life really is because 50/50 means you can't call me at work to ask me to pick up the kids because your meeting is running late, or …
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/23 10:37 AM
0

At that point in time, it felt like the right thing to do and some of us are partially to blame for willingly going to the firing squad to get shot.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/23 09:26 PM
3

Hopefully he man's up before it's too late for him. I just want the good guys to win.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/23 08:27 PM
3

She's waiting to stab the poor guy multiple times in the back that financial recovery could take years. I hope he's seen through her and is also working on an exit plan.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/23 08:09 PM
4

The only people I interact with at my Yoga classes are the yoga instructor and an old lady in her late 60s. I personally avoid all the women there for obvious reasons.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/23 07:23 PM
5

I came home to a family BBQ to hear the news of my divorce. It hasn't been that long but I switched mentally after the first two weeks and I'm doing fine. Cry in your car if you have to and take things one at a time. You will be fine. Don't dwell on things for too long, that's the trap most men fall into, don't be that guy. Live well and bounce back.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/23 12:26 PM
4

When you meet him, shake his hands and congratulate him by saying enjoy the ride, it's your turn. Hehehehe
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/23 08:05 AM
3

I'm taking two to three Years off to work on myself and certain goals I have which includes a side business. For me if I ever begin another relationship, I'm going to treat it like a lease. Every few months I will get the engine and tires checked, oil too and when things are not working I'll just get a new lease premium or standard depending on the type of lease I want at that moment in time. When the contract is up, I lose nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/23 08:03 AM
3

Time to work on yourself alone and take care of the kids. Treat her well but don't fight or argue. Keep breathing. Hit the gym. Just concentrate on yourself and be there for the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/23 06:29 AM
2

Also just to add, never allow any woman to move in ever again. She's an adult, she should own her own place and come and go. Don't even allow her to keep a toothbrush at your place.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/23 01:57 AM
2

No I don't every situation is different, there may be similarities but that's just it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/23 02:14 PM
1

Why should I go to a wedding to look grim? I wish people well wherever life and their relationships take them.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/23 01:35 PM
1

Wanting and actively pursuing it are two different things.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/23 07:42 AM
1

That's not what's being said here. No guy here in their right mind would tell their family, friends who are in love not to get married, works out differently for everyone. For me personally when I see a friend or family member get married, I'm taken back in time, happier times and I'm happy for them.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/23 07:12 AM
1

Na I look at it this way, men get more attractive as they get older, if we play our cards right that is. I love being me. Working on my goals, awesome relationships with my kids and peace of mind.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/23 06:52 AM
3

I was glued to my screen. Every guy should watch this before going for the soul stone.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/23 06:46 AM
7

Some guys even cry at their Weddings these days, something that I don't get. I mean the crying comes later when she files for divorce so why not save it for the impending temporary demise 10+ years later when your time has come. Funny they don't know they are standing there because it's their turn at that moment in time. LoL
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/23 06:37 AM
2

My stbxw and I had a similar agreement, especially for the kids.. I stay, she leaves but not an absurd buyout sum, which would have meant everyone loses especially the kids if we sold the house. Try to explain to her what selling the house could mean to the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/23 08:30 PM
1

Willingly bringing them in to mess with you, have yourself esteem trashed and then repeat it all over again. Hopefully you've learned this time around.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/23 07:53 AM
3

Congratulations! I think this video says it all, what men are having to deal with across the western world. https://youtu.be/RlSwsE22nX0?si=mW0h2KApWyeMw6bo How do you destroy a society? By destroying the men.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/23 07:43 AM
3

Not only that, I will never allow any woman to move in with me ever. I now value my space and I will not compromise.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 05:34 AM
10

Communicate with her about the practical things around the house. Other than that just go do your thing. Focus on you and don't fall for her baiting.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 03:46 PM
1

Absolutely lovely. I really love this response. Value yourself guys. You are your number one asset.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 04:46 AM
3

You will get back up. This is all temporary and it's up to you to get back up from where you are now. One step at a time. Make your kids proud, show them you were down but came back fighting to be the most amazing dad ever. You will meet other women when you sort yourself out, just never ever allow them to move in with you.. doing that means you are willingly inviting the government into your life. At 40 you can get up and rebuild, there are no restrictions here, you create your own life and rea…
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 04:41 AM
2

Get a lawyer asap. Don't waste your time. It's going to emotionally drain you. You would want to be mentally strong when you serve her the last goodbye papers.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 04:27 AM
-2

I already mentioned before, we should not allow this place to be an echo chamber.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/23 01:29 PM
3

I've learned to always look out for myself and my own well being. I'm not here to make any woman happy. I matter and I'm going to love me and continue to love me. Compassion for others is a must. I hit the gym, been doing it since, joined the group sessions, been doing Yoga too. Seen other women checking me out(I have no time for them, (f**k that noise). Been reading a lot, working on rebuilding my lab, seeing my friends and just enjoying being me. Thinking about a side tech business. Above all …
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/23 04:53 AM
2

The sad part is almost all of them regret it at some point but then the damage has been done. They often think what they read on social media by other women (mostly celebrity women who are rich) is the reality until it is not.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/23 04:49 AM
10

Congratulations brother. Do not allow the government into your life willingly ever again. Live well, enjoy your life. Congratulations again. Wife + government is a deadly combo that threatens every male's well being should their partner decide to leave. Take a trip, see the world.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/23 08:34 PM
6

Waiting for her to come back when she doesn't find anything good out there. Is this the advice you'd also give to your kids in the future?
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/23 08:45 PM
7

Facebook and Instagram here, I still can't prove she cheated but the truth always comes out. I will be cleaning the house getting groceries, taking care of the kids while still going to work everyday, picking the kids up and bringing them to their activities. She of course was always on her phone. Well it's over and I'm in a good place. Whoever the AP is, I wish them both all the best. I have nothing but gratitude for getting two beautiful kids out of the relationship and I'm very proud of them.…
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/23 05:06 AM
10

Never allow her anywhere near you ever again. Do not allow your emotions to hold you hostage. The good guys suffer but we always win in the long run. Just be you and don't lose your focus. You got a second chance to rearrange your life now, enjoy the journey.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/23 04:58 AM
5

During the process, she accused me of loving my kids more than I loved her. Yep I love my kids and they are all I have.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 11:03 PM
6

This right here! Get a male therapist and in time you will be fine. All the material stuff she got won't last, you can get all those again, only this time it will be on your own terms. You will make triple what you've lost because now you have focus. See a therapist.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 10:59 PM
3

You could find out what his hobbies are by suggesting you go out for drinks or a walk. It's helpful to just listen to him without getting involved in his situation. I'm very grateful for my brother, cousin and friends. My cousin really surprised me, I've always been there for her and the way she's stood by me through all of this has been amazing. I guess all those years really paid off. I really can't thank her enough for having my back in my hour of need as my world was shattered.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 04:58 PM
8

Stay calm and try not to be at the mercy of your emotions. It's hard, but say hello and nothing more. You can do this. You are already in a good place and you are winning. Best revenge is living well and being there for your child. The ex is history.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 04:59 AM
1

I like this perspective as well. Nicely said.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 05:09 PM
3

How many bitter people do you see in this thread? The man is being blamed for the destruction of his family. The kids are however old enough to be told or figure things out themselves in the long run. Do you have any idea how distractive this would be later when they find out and the impact it will have on their adult lives?
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 02:40 PM
2

Meaning tell them, in a way that is not blaming their mom. There are many ways to approach it without the blame game.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 01:32 PM
2

Kids aren't stupid, let her burn her own bridges.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 01:31 PM
8

Exactly this. Why protect her reputation? Either she tells them what she did or you will and be able to move on with your life knowing you did nothing wrong. You were a family man who got hit for being loyal.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 12:43 PM
8

Kids are old enough! Tell them mom has had a different lover for a couple of years and you kept it to yourself because they were too young and you wanted to protect them. Don't be the fall guy. Why should you be the one they will refuse to see after this mess is over? Let them know and as they become adults they will come to understand how hard things were for you.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 12:40 PM
13

I'm not sure whether she cheated but I guess sooner or later the truth always comes out. I got the classic I'm not in love with you anymore. I'm filtering her out of everything except when it comes to things related to the kids. I will never allow her into my space ever again and wish her all the very best in life. No I do not want to be friends nor have dinner once a week. She then wanted to do things together with the kids, I said no, you can spend time with them and I will do the same, but no…
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/23 09:17 PM
10

Great stories all together! This place is awesome and let's keep it that way. We should try and not allow this place to become an echo chamber, regardless of what happened to us, let's be respectful. Just my two cents. Also bye Katherine, you had it good for a while and ruined it all.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/23 04:44 PM
32

30? Holy shit dude, that's a huge blessing. You lucked out. Take this as a second chance in life. Don't look back and live my brother, live. Your future relationship should be on your own terms and not try to make anyone happy. Live your life.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/23 06:32 AM
4

There's a time coming that men will also avoid marriage at all costs, their sons will also be doing the same knowing what happened to dad.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/23 06:15 PM
6

Exactly this, lots of business ideas going through my head. As soon as we finalize the paperwork, I'm hitting the floor running. There's that old saying " a downfall of a man is not the end of his life" you will be fine. Don't even think about her. It's hard but you can do it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 09:53 PM
3

And what would taking your own life achieve? Do you think your kids deserve that? A life time where they keep wondering what life could have been had dad been here for us to share the things we go through with him? Own up and get yourself intact. The pain goes away, don't spend even a year dwelling on it, I tell everyone in our situation this. Don't dwell on it, focus on your new life and be a great dad. That's all your kids need from you, a dad who is there. We all fall, some of our own doing a…
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 11:20 AM
1

Mine makes pretty good money similar to me. We are still in the process and she's still in the house. I've told her to move but she's claiming she can't find a place or they are too expensive. I just want her gone. She's heading to her parents for a few days with my daughter, son gets to hang out with me. I'd have loved having them both tbh with her gone. I really can't wait for her to move out, it's been mentally tough. The tough part is her being in the house.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/23 04:50 AM
8

Congratulations and enjoy your new life. Be there for the kids no matter what and stay cool.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 08:24 PM
7

When they say I'm choosing for myself. Let them go and wish them all the best. Heck I was doing so much in the household including my daughter's hair. Something I learned to do because she was always working and the funny part is we worked the same hours. Wish Katherine well and take good care of yourself. Get therapy if you need it and don't shy away from it.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 08:01 AM
2

Go to work, start doing things you love, join a group of interests in your area. Be good to yourself. The kid will find you. Don't worry about that at all. My mom kept me away from my dad for years but I kept looking for him and guess what? I got the chance to meet him, and spent a few years with him before he passed. My most memorable experience and fun with him was when he spent 3 hours on a bus just to have a 10 minute coffee with me. Don't give up on yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 04:21 AM
3

Bro, don't plead for her to stay, she will lose every respect she has for you and stop saying I love you, that makes you look needy. Stay calm, go distant and keep your respect and dignity intact. Do it for yourself and your kids. Wish her all the best and above all no anger, keep calm. I'm going to learn Japanese again, something I loved before I met her. I've always wanted a motorcycle license, I'm going to do that too You need to hit the gym, go for long walks, check meetup.com for activities…
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 04:55 AM
1

Yep. It's not even necessary. This place has been good to me. I really appreciate every input shared here
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 12:24 PM
1

Definitely. I will never say anything bad about their mom. They love her as much as they love me and I'll keep it that way no matter what. In the end I want well adjusted happy kids and later good adults.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 12:12 PM
1

Also make sure the new lady is a huge upgrade in every department imaginable. Do not downgrade at all.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 08:56 PM
10

Spot on. My cousin and another friend, both ladies have known me all my life. Their words were she's not going to replace you, might take a while for it to dawn on her when the excitement is gone. Don't ever take her back.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 07:13 PM
3

Fair and very well put. I'm still going through the motions and honestly cannot tell them what's going on, but they are smart kids and my daughter who is only 6 seems to be aware of things. This Saturday I was alone with them, son was out playing with friends and I was in the garden painting, my daughter came to me and it went like this. Her: Dad is everything alright Me: yeah I'm doing fine, why do you ask? Her: Just checking up on you, she smiles and goes back to playing. I almost couldn't hol…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 05:50 PM
2

Jeez dude, nobody is blaming anyone, we are having a discussion about what the best approach is to tell the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 02:52 PM
2

My kids are 6 and 9. It's a difficult situation and I feel for them, just looking at them breaks my heart. I've remained calm and positive throughout, the only time I got a bit irritated by something she said was when I told her I'd like her to move out soon, which I also regret saying as it's not nice to tell the mother of your kids to move out.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 01:33 PM
2

Well as time goes by, a lot of things have come out, she needs a piece of mind, she wants to be free, has been going out a lot and staying out late. She wants to work more hours (though she already works long hours and even during her day off). I never had any issues with it as I've always been flexible when it comes to the kids and household. I just hope she finds what she's looking for that I could not provide. I made this post because being in such a situation, I wanted us to be honest about …
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 01:15 PM
4

Thank you for this perspective on your own experiences. Thanks again I really love the way you put it and it makes sense. The kids will figure it out later.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 05:52 AM
11

Based on what? Wait 20 years before telling them one was forced out of the relationship?
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 05:04 AM
1

I really like the way you put it. I'm also doing the work with help to figure out my issues. Still I'd like to have good friendships moving forward.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/23 08:39 PM
2

I will never allow the government to enter my life willingly ever again. I love my life and I enjoy breathing.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/23 08:22 PM
1

Why even go through the headache, at 60 you still have what? Realistically speaking another 20-25 years left. Why shorten those years with another marriage that would put you at the cemetery around 70?
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/23 08:21 PM
6

Sometimes the good guys win, it takes time but we do win. Hang in there and plan your new life. We are all here because of what happened to us and it seems unfair from the get go, but once they are gone and you begin working on yourself, that's when the magic happens.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/23 05:38 AM
3

Yep she thinks we could be friends, I have my own plans and she doesn't fit in anywhere in my new life.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 07:12 AM
2

This is something that I clocked when she initiated the divorce. All the things that I wanted to do that I delayed over the years just to accommodate her. It's never too late and I'm back. Life is awesome and it's going to get better from here. Just dropped the kids at school, it was laughs and laughs until I u dropped them off.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 06:38 AM
3

Your self esteem gets a hit, it's part of it but you learn to be you again. The reason why they quickly move on to dating or move in with a guy is because they plan ahead months before the actual divorce happens. We don't usually see the clues and that's why it hurts. Keep working on yourself and don't worry too much.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 04:11 PM
3

This sure hits home. In the end I said to her that I'm partially to blame for what happened to us. She as expected didn't say much, it was all my fault.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 07:20 AM
1

Thank you for sharing. I'm not taking a financial hit either as she can take good care of herself and the kids financially. It's 50/50 or in my case I'll probably get them 70/30 knowing what I know and the time I spent with them while we both work the same hours. She's recently decided to work more hours. Good luck to her in the future. I love my kids and we will make it. Thanks and much love.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 07:12 AM
8

I'm still going through the process. Going for runs, hitting the gym, meditating and just doing what I've always done in the household. My mental state is in a good place. Just don't dwell on things. Go for long walks and try to plan your new life.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 04:14 AM
20

Why should any man put himself in harm's way?
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/23 09:24 AM
1

Awesome post.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/23 09:13 AM
14

I arrived back from work with her family in my house and everyone was acting strange, went into the kitchen for a glass of water, she came in there, I asked her why is everyone acting so strange? She says I told them we are getting a divorce. In total shock, I said to everyone I needed to go see a friend, with my mind all over the place, I jumped in the car, drove away. I will never feel comfortable around her family again. Lucky enough when all is done, I probably won't have to see them again. …
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/23 12:43 PM
2

Let me clarify. My kids are going to be at her new place after the co-parenting arrangements have been made. She's the one moving out of the home we own together and I'm buying her out, is the deal. She will use the money she gets to find a new place of her own. The least I could do for the kids is that despite everything their mom did to me, I'm still making sure they are ok. As for dinner once a week thing, she wanted that. I haven't gone into agreement with it and I won't once she's gone, it'…
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/23 04:37 AM
9

The best thing about my divorce is I won't be taking a financial hit. She has a good position, makes good money and we can work things out without a fight. The sadness is what is killing us. We both have decided not to be emotional about things. She even wants dinner once a week and I've offered to help with her new place in the future and set both houses up so that the kids get it later. With that said, I'll never allow any woman to move in with me ever. Time to get back into things I love like…
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 11:29 AM
11

My dad died during that period, my brother and I weren't allowed into the hospital, that hit us hard, he got depressed, I had to get him out of it. The anguish I felt and the sadness has now been used against me in the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 01:24 PM
5

Similar situation here, she checked out, like we were never even together. The first few days were tough, but I'm already getting used to her not being in my life anymore. A few weeks before the news struck me like lightning, I was telling her about how we could save for a vacation home and chill out there when the kids move out. I smiled at her and she smiled back not knowing that smile was going to do me in. Anyway don't dwell on things. There's not much you can do. Take care of you, that's it…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 01:21 PM
4

Go for it. Take care of yourself and your wellbeing.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 03:48 PM
3

Absolutely beautiful post. We are all working on it. Give us time. Work in progress, no rush, rediscovering who we are and how to live life like we've always wanted. Work in progress. Thank you for this great post. I've always wanted to buy a motorcycle. I think I'm going to take some lessons when I've taken care of other stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 09:07 AM
1

Regret is often hard to overcome. Take care of you and don't dwell on the past, it will only keep you down. Do all you can to change the current circumstances. It's tough but you will pull through. Again take care of yourself and don't dwell on what happened to you and your relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/23 09:19 PM
7

Her boss too. Dude hit the gym, see how old friends are doing. Us men are the type that even if we haven't seen each other for years, once you show up, it's still great.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 04:05 AM
7

I'll never put myself in such a painful situation ever again. She'd need to have her own place and come and go. No you are not moving in.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/23 05:48 PM
3

Stay away and keep your mental strength. She must be out of her f***king mind. Keep your self respect and dignity intact.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 08:58 PM
3

Just move on, time waits for nobody and it's all negative energy anyway. Do some cool things with your life.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 05:33 AM
4

The best revenge is living well.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/23 04:36 PM
1

Take care of your child, she or he is going to need you and you need to stay strong. Your child needs you now more than ever. As for the ex after a time, long when you have moved on, she will come to regret this and regret is hard to overcome.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 08:26 PM
1

Thank you for the advice and perspective. The most painful part is this is/was my home. I will have to learn to deal with it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 04:37 AM
4

First thing I'm planning to do on my free weekend after all of this is go to Paris, Vienna and Munich. Just have fun when I'm alone and when I'm with the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 02:17 AM
2

You will come back stronger. Keep seeing and spending time with your kids. I know exactly what you are going through and it hurts but don't lose focus.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 12:51 AM
7

Have a good time and don't rush into anything.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 06:21 PM
1

I went with a lawyer who deals with fathers in divorce. Look for a second opinion.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 06:12 AM
3

The pain I've been going through, it's unbearable. I didn't know what to do, where to go or who to talk to except my lawyer. The pain I feel for my kids. I can't believe she said the divorce will impact the kids but they will be ok, like she doesn't care about the consequences. I'm going through so much pain.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 11:14 PM
2

Yes. I use outlook for that.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 09:17 PM
2

Thanks man, I'm doing that right now. Spoke to a lawyer, my wish is to keep my place so the kids could have a stable life. I'm not moving out of the home. She can move. There's an ex boyfriend who has moved into the neighborhood with his family. I wonder whether that played a part.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 09:08 PM
5

Pretty much so. I've been doing a lot of thinking, and spoken to a few people. Doing more with her, trying new things could help improve any relationship. I've given myself six months, if after that things are not working. I'll gtfo
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 08:18 AM
3

That's good advice. Thanks for sharing. My stbx said something similar. I really don't want to divorce so I'm working on plan A and B. A is working hard to get things back to normal for all and B is should things not work out, have my exit plan ready to go without any hiccups.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 08:13 AM
1

If you mean stay at home dad, then no but I work from home a few days a week which makes me flexible when it comes to the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 03:34 PM
1

Thank you, it's painful and I really don't know how things are going to end. I'm doing all I can so my kids get out of this smoothly though it's going to affect them.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 05:36 AM
2

She suggested to look for a mediator to start, I said fine. So far the ball is in her court. Summer is over and the kids are going back to school on Monday, I just want them to have a smooth start so I've been very quiet.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 03:06 AM
4

She says lack of communication, I recently discovered her ex boyfriend from years ago has moved into the neighborhood with his family. I'm staying in the house as I really have nowhere else to go. Once the divorce proceedings kick in then I'll have to start looking for a new place for me and my kids. I don't even know how, as there's nothing available and looking at places to rent it's €1500-2000 a month for a small place. I also think moving is going to work against me. I suspect her strategy i…
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 03:01 AM
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