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playerknowmore Archive

View 0 posts and 1,237 comments by playerknowmore on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Check your bank account. People who will lie to you will definitely steal from you.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 02:31 PM
15

22 years of marriage taught me, marriage can survive a lack of love, but not a loss of respect. What you described is someone who doesn't respect you. Get out before her actions affect your self-respect.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/25 01:40 AM
12

Of course, she upgraded six months after. Seems like you had a good case for support. I don't understand emasculation. My brain won't allow me to let someone else set my worth. I wish I could let a fifty-plus woman make me think she could do better than me. Especially when I am the only man she gave children to. She can't give to him what she gave to you. You got the best years of her life. Let someone else deal with menopause. There's always a bright side, at least look for it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 02:09 PM
2

Sit her down and tell her you are not happy either. Odds are she is confusing your contentment with happiness. Tell her you refuse to cheat, but living alone while in a relationship is also unsustainable. I went through five years ago. For some reason, she couldn't equate her unhappiness with the menopause she was going through. Her mother talked her into getting help. I was nearly at the point of no return. With the kids all in college, I questioned why I needed a woman at all. To my wife's cre…
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 11:15 PM
2

They think because you love them that you need them. Any man who' has been in a long relationship knows we can survive without love, but once respect is gone the relationship is over. Today's women are pretty creative with disrespect. I was lucky that my mother-in-law gave my wife a reality check.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 03:05 AM
2

Dude, choose you! Only a fool loves someone else more than themselves. Only love someone as much as they add to your life. Someone who doesn't want to be with you cannot add value to your life.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/25 03:58 PM
3

If your marriage has just run its course, and you both have come to the realization it's over go to the courthouse get the paperwork, and sign. However, if you are like most men and she asks for it; do yourself a favor and get a lawyer. Nothing worse than finding out three years later she was with her boss all along. Worse, she uses the amicable divorce to bolster a relationship with the creep and your children. She sounds like a woman with a five-year plan for everything.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/25 12:33 AM
2

Lost Love Chronicles has a lot of stories for men looking to level up.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/25 01:08 AM
2

Once I realized she was a want and not a need. I had no problem putting myself first and letting go.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 08:40 PM
1

Didn't have my first daughter until I was thirty-eight my son came five years later. If my wife had not gotten pregnant I doubt I would have married. To me, it seems women behave more positively when there's competition.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/25 11:34 PM
10

This generation of men is doomed. MILF porn has you guys willing to give up money, respect, and the ability to procreate. My brain instantly started playing the Doobie Brothers, "What a Fool Believes," in the background. At some point, you have to realize that you are the main character in your life. Seems like none of these people have your best interests at heart. You allowed yourself to be a bit character in your life.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 03:19 AM
25

Being tied down in a marriage allows Tic-Tok fantasies to build. Social media has middle-aged women believing that there's a wealth of middle-aged men who, because they focused on their career they are now looking for love. Then, when these women hit the streets, reality is not Tic-Tok. Your ex is keeping you tethered so you don't come to the realization that you don't need her. Don't be that fool! The one who goes from husband to ex, then backup to husband again. For her to even think she can g…
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/25 01:33 AM
11

Do you mean if he hasn't rocked the boat in 18 years? Because believe me, he noticed. She just hasn't done anything to make him weigh all of his options. When relationships are ending and reputation is the only thing you can salvage, sometimes you have to open the door you were scared to walk by.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 08:30 PM
11

Monkey branching is the preferred method of leaving a husband. You need to get in the mindset of choosing yourself. Be ruthless and selfish like you are facing an enemy whose only goal is destroying your happiness. Protect your neck. She is not the guilt ridden version of the girl that you fell in love with. She is calculated to take as much from you as possible. By any means necessary. Stop thinking that she is doing all the thinking. Your replacement has skin in this game, too.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 12:22 AM
3

This post makes me wonder how many marriages would be saved if this country taught basic finance.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 06:38 PM
8

No one can help you until you realize you are the main character in your life. You are the only person who is essential in your life. One day, you are going to wake up and realize that your ego put unnecessary roadblocks to your happiness. You can live without her, just as easily as she can live without you. Your ego is telling you that she is your greatest loss. That you can't live without her. She didn't begin your story, and she is not the end. She is a chapter in your story. You let her writ…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 01:11 AM
2

At some point you have to choose you. Just stop wasting energy on someone who threw you away. Now, imagine what your life could be if you transferred that energy to your dreams.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/25 10:54 PM
5

This story has all the ingredients for a "Very Jerry Springer Thanksgiving" where the boy- toy is a few years older than your oldest, and your grandchildren will be a few years older than their uncle.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/24 12:53 AM
7

Tell her you have to save up for her replacement. Newer models tend to cost more.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 08:17 PM
1

Run! Move as far as possible. She is offering a get out of jail free card. Most women think they are better off without the man who offered his everything. Find someone who who appreciates you and enjoy your life.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 04:52 PM
2

No large purchases if you don't feel she is fully invested. A friend of mine got the papers a month after buying her a 450 GLA.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 02:06 PM
12

I didn't see anything about children? I'd leave find a thirty something watching her eggs dwindle and knock her up. Your ex is trying to break you. She won't be satisfied unless you are broken-hearted. Hit the gym, find her replacement, and live.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 05:18 PM
6

Happy birthday, my friend. If you like audio tales, try The Lost Love Chronologicals on YouTube. It's a bunch of stories in which the divorced husband triumphs in the end.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 07:31 PM
1

Never home until it's time to put the kids to sleep. Seems to me that your problem is with her coworker. Either he's not motivated or can't afford to leave his wife. She's not going to leave your nice house to slum in an apartment with him. Eventually, her plan will be to figure out a way to have you supplement their life. You need to be proactive in protecting yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 11:59 PM
14

This sounds like "Bros" before ho's after they figure out they stole a ho!
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 05:28 PM
2

I understand that you want her back because losing her would be a failure. Her keeping you requires her to degrade you to a level you worship her weaknesses. Do not allow her to make her feel equal by making you less. You can do better. Do better and let her deal with her own demons. I wish the best for your child.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 04:42 PM
4

This sounds like a great name for a subreddit.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 06:38 PM
1

This is not a tragedy. It's a trend. Women sensed the last few years of their looks and somehow think they can do better. When my wife went through this delusion, her mother slapped her back to reality. I was 55 at the time, and I am still amazed how fast I chose me. I remember telling her that I love you as much as any other person, but never more than me. I realized that over the last seventeen years, I had been doing whatever she wanted 90% of the time. I took promotions I didn't want. I work…
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 05:58 PM
8

Seems to me that she is planning to keep the back door open. Start dating and move on. No one deserves to be second choice.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 01:40 AM
1

Record ever interaction.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/24 06:28 PM
6

Somewhere between six months and ten years, you are going to realize that you got lucky. I noticed that you didn't mention any children. Children are the glue that should hold a marriage together. Today's women will still walk away, but without children letting a woman leave, it is always the best decision. Your problem is you have been trained not to choose yourself. Most men don't realize that they are the main character in their lives. I spent seventeen years letting my wife make ninety perce…
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/24 04:56 PM
2

Limit her access to your money. Make her realize that the only money you are willing to give her is child support. She will allow for divorce just to get the little bit of spousal support she can get from a three year marriage. She sounds delusional. One of those fools who think as long as they say I love you, everything is going to be alright. I would trade love for respect and trust in a heartbeat. She doesn't respect you. Worse, she wants you not to respect yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/24 09:23 PM
12

I remember my wife telling me she wasn't happy. I looked her in the eye and said, " I work a job I'm good at, but don't like. I took promotions I didn't want for the family. I always have to be the stern parent with the kids. Sometimes, I punish them for a situation you created. You spend ninety percent of what I earn, and your money is your money. The prize you offer is the same pussy once or twice a week. I'm not happy, I'm content, and if you think you deserve to be happy, I deserve the same.…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/24 12:40 PM
12

Retrain your brain to be a little selfish. I'm pretty sure she was your life. It is time for you to realize that you are the main character in your life. Everyone else is expendable. If anyone doesn't fit into your life or doesn't want to be in your life, let them go. Your life will be better for it. A few things are going to happen in the next few years. You are going to realize that you can live without her. She's going to find the market for 46 years old women, which is casual at best. Upon t…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/24 12:24 PM
1

My life has been ex to the next. I'm the main character in my life. Everyone else is replaceable. My wife didn't cheat. When she uttered divorce, I chose me so fast that she decided to stay.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 06:36 PM
10

To some women, divorce is a punishment. You surviving or thriving is a testament to their poor decisions. Either that or the man she traded you for only makes 80k.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 06:18 PM
8

I remember an ex once came crawling back. I'll never forget the look on her face when I told that the guy she was dating lowered her value, and I would never give him the benefit to think we are in the same league. I know it would have been easier to say I don't date backward, but the extra dig brought me pleasure.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 10:40 PM
1

Sometimes, divorce is a punishment for their vision of their empowerment. I remember my wife saying that she paid our mortgage. I also remember her face after I showed her that her debt was barely covered by what she earned.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 06:30 PM
3

I watched those videos when my wife was around. I don't know if they helped her to decide to work on our marriage. I just know her narratives stopped, and I stopped being Mr. Nice Guy. But YouTube is definitely a good tool to get you in the right head space. I still watch those "Lost Love Chronicles" nothing like videos about wives plotting to destroy their husbands, only for him to grow a spine and overcome the bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/24 01:08 AM
8

Can't wait to see her Tic-Tok on how empowered and independent she is. YouTube has a Chanel called "The Wall" dedicated to women over forty post divorce journeys. Four years ago, I was over fifty headed for divorce. My mother in law talked my wife out of her midlife crisis. I had two revelations in that time period. I loved her, but I didn't need her. Also, we spent twenty years worrying about her happiness, neglecting the fact that I wasn't happy. I was content, but I was killing myself to make…
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 09:31 PM
7

It's all in how you look at it. I remember when my wife told me I'd be jealous when she was gone. I thought about it and told her jealous of what. The fool who got you twenty years older and fifty pounds heavier. My wife stayed, but after her mom gave her a reality check. Women tend to marry the best man they can get. The odds of them finding better twenty years later are low.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/24 01:52 PM
10

I did this and turned on my inner asshole four years ago. My wife did a one-eighty and been a better wife who has been great ever since. Somewhere in her threatening tirade, I realized I loved her as much as I always did, just not more than me. After that realization, I was good with whatever. However, my marriage went. I knew I would be okay. I stayed married, but my bullshit tolerance has been low ever since. I think I got too nice in my marriage. I allowed her to erode my self-respect. From h…
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/24 09:28 PM
10

Don't get me started on the mathematics of marriage. My wife makes four grand a month and was convinced she paid the mortgage.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 08:41 PM
4

When you have nothing, you got You! You are the main character in your life. Never let anyone let anyone make you feel the show is over without them. If you don't like the script you've been handed, rewrite it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 06:13 PM
4

She probably realized that you probably would replace her, so she took something you couldn't. I swear too many women think divorce is punishment for men who won't except their bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 12:47 AM
4

You need to change the rules and your game. Reminde you love her but don't need her. Tell the that marriage will not survive in its current state. You need to take control of your marriage. There is no way in hell would I work all and come home and do all the shit you say you do. Hell, my wife does more around the house because of the difference in our paychecks. Yes,I said my wife! I stayed after she comformed. I did check her because her tone got a little disrespectful. There is no way in hell…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 09:48 PM
15

They create narratives to paint you as the bad guy. It took my mother in law to break my wife's delusions.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 08:36 PM
0

She was spending money as fast as I could make. Then, she took out a loan without discussing it with me. When I cut her access to my checking account, she called me financially abusive. She makes about seventy grand a year and thought we were equal contributors. I gave her a math lesson showing I paid all the bills and her money was her money. It mostly went to interest payments. When she said she wanted a separation, I told her that I would prefer divorce. She threw a tantrum for a couple of mo…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 11:18 PM
3

I watched a lot of YouTube stuff like this. By the time she mentioned separation, I was ready. My wife was fifty, and her mother told her that she would be crazy to put me on the market. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beNat5r2y0E
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 01:25 AM
3

Dude, take your freedom as a blessing. I stayed, and even though she did a one-eighty. I still think of the solace living alone would bring me.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 11:51 PM
7

Sounds like she's using divorce as some crazy sort of punishment. If I were you, I'd be telling her thanks for filling. I stayed for the kids, and then because I was afraid of starting over. Since you filed, all I can think of is how peaceful my life is going to be. I was hurt at first, but it shows how much you love me to give me freedom. I stayed married four years ago. Because I stood up for myself. She thought I was so in love I would beg her to stay. I told her, "I love you, but I don't nee…
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 10:09 PM
6

Time to be honest with yourself. She doesn't want to be with you, and she can not be your friend while she feels like this. When your life burns down, you have to pick up what's left and move on. You have created a delusion that she is as important in your life as you. If you step back and view your whole life and be honest with yourself, you will realize you are the main character in your life. Everyone else, no matter what their value in your life, can be removed, and life will go on. Grieve t…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 02:40 PM
2

Sorry, I would have taken the assault charge. But just him saying that is a level of disrespect I couldn't except. The statement itself puts you in your place. He could have actually used the fact that he told you, and you did to seduce her. When I was in the military, I saw a guy getting knocked out in front of his wife. A couple of months later, I saw his wife with his assailant. Your boss, labeling you as a weak man, affected the power dynamics of your marriage. Once a woman sees you as weak,…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 08:22 PM
1

Sadly, this is this dynamic is common for modern women. The only way to come out with some dignity is apathy and scortched earth. Apply for child support and spousal support. Report them to HR. Find another job, preferably with a woman in charge. Let me guess he left his wife and kids for your wife. The fact that your child is three paternity would be in question for me.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 07:44 PM
2

Sorry, I just read some more, and this will definitely find its way to YouTube. I can't imagine a man bold enough to say to my face the he wants to fuck my wife. This guy said he will fuck your wife.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 05:20 PM
3

I know you haven't had to do this since undergrad. Could you please break this down into paragraphs. I felt your pain in your open, but I need a respite to prepare myself for what she does next.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 05:12 PM
1

The only thing that matters is can you live with the person you live with the person you have to become to stay with her.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 05:04 PM
16

However, many guys you would need to have been with your wife before you considered yourself single has probably been achieved. Someone who has been probably checking on you for a while noticed your relationship status changed. You already proved you can be married, and women know the main reason for divorce is women. If she knew you were a good guy in high school, she's probably trying to snap you up before you really hit the market. You are not cheating your STBXW made a choice, and moving on …
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 02:26 AM
4

My question would be, "Do you have a place to stay?" I'd hate to think I married someone stupid enough to say that without a plan.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 05:16 PM
16

I see this as a foreseeable eventually. Only 20% of affair relationships survive after divorce. People rarely cheat up. At best, a lateral move with a person of lower moral character. I got a feeling OP is a nice guy, but his ex likes assholes. The next predictable step is begging to save the family she threw a nuke into. Not because OP is the love of her life, or she gives a shit about their family. The loser made her look like a fool. The only way to get some self- worth back is to win her fam…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 01:09 AM
6

I guess it's a generational thing. In my generation, only bikers had sleeves. Now soccer moms are neck down.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 02:09 AM
8

No tattoos or piercings, let us know where unicorns like this roam.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 08:37 PM
7

Sometimes, if we change the way we look at things, we can change our whole world. Something as simple as she threw the life she built for her away can easily be seen as she freed you from her lunacy. She seems toxic and messy. Just as you think she is trying to force her affair baby on you, it can also be seen as her getting you to accept her child for her to be a part of your life. If anyone in this sub needs to find apathy, it is you. Your anger and resentment are keeping you tethered to the t…
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 09:11 PM
19

Simply text, "We don't have long to go, respect the home I built until we are done."
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 08:25 PM
5

How much negative energy has she put in your life with her divorce, B.S.. I'll bet her reasoning is that she somehow outgrew you. You don't outgrow people who you respect. Do you truly believe she will be your friend after your lawyer gets you what you deserve. She will be posting in this subreddit crying about what you don't deserve and how the corrupt system penalizes earners. A person who doesn't respect you can never be your friend. Tell her to focus on coparenting and find another fool to b…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 03:19 PM
2

Dealing with someone without morals or shame, the first thing I would want is the truth. I hope these children are biologically yours. Your ex seems like the type of person who would let you pay for the children's lives all the way to an Ivy League education. Then, after the last child graduates, she tells you that they were your friend's children.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 09:01 PM
5

With social media, women of today break boundaries so easily that it doesn't seem like cheating to them.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 06:49 PM
1

Why not ask her for half the cost of your insurance. At least until the divorce is finalized. Tell her to get all of her health needs taken care of before the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 06:27 PM
1

Nah. It just came to me.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 09:45 PM
6

She's not scared of him. She's scared of how he will react when he finds out what she is really doing behind his back. My guess is that she's cheating. Worse, whoever she is cheating with, she is embarrassed of. He's probably a married coworker. It's embarrassing to give up a marriage for a piece of someone's love. People will always sacrifice your opinion of yourself to prevent you from forming an accurate opinion of them.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 02:10 PM
6

Your value should not be tied to anyone's else opinions of you. I love my wife as much as I can love another person, but never more than me. She leaves, and my life must go on. The moment she says she wants out, her opinion ceases to be paramount. We make sacrifices to allow them to fit into our lives. People who don't want to be in our lives can never fit in. If you are honest with yourself, all of the things she did to let you go is exactly why you should let her go. Redirect the energy you wa…
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 01:52 PM
6

You seem strong, and like you have a plan to get, you where you want to be. I just want to add one of those prayers. That allows you to control the things you can. Leave to the Lord the things you can't, and the wisdom to know the difference.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 04:53 AM
1

Sounds like you put it off as long as you could've. My ego would have never survived so long. People don't understand that an affair is the ultimate level of disrespect. She risked being a side piece for losing your love and respect. Marriage can survive without love, but not without respect. My wife infidelity was in the form of a loan that she didn't tell me about for a year. With an interest rate that takes years to pay off. I wish it were a physical affair. My ego wouldn't tolerate that leve…
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 03:51 PM
2

People who are used to saving the world rarely know when it's time to save themselves. You are twenty. Focus your energy on your career and education. Create a status where women chase you. Do this until you are thirty, then date to learn the landscape. Make your focus be one of your most attractive features. Then, take your time to see red flags. You shouldn't think about marriage until you are thirty-five. You will be old enough to know that she can't get better than you. I am allowed to check…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 04:18 AM
2

None of us are enough. I used to have to compete with the guys in my city or on my base. Your wife can send a thirst trap and get first-class tickets to Dubai. You could give a woman leg shaking orgasms every time, and you still are not safe. There's a reason why in this sub, guys start off with I thought we had the perfect relationship. You had a woman to marry you when most guys your age haven't had sex yet. Especially on a military base. Most of the guys brag a conquest, but trust me, fifty p…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 03:54 AM
1

Dude, there is no shame for what someone else did to you. Talk to the old heads in your unit. I'm pretty sure sixty percent of them have been through similar experiences. Stop filling shame for things you are not responsible for. You probably got your idea on relationships from older family members. These relationships are almost impossible in the era of Instagram.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 03:16 AM
1

I didn't deploy with a weapon. There is no less honor in none combat roll. When you need air cover and the jet was broken, I made sure it got in the air for you. Everyone has a roll. I'm third generation Air Force. My dad told me never to marry while I served. Best advice ever. That first sentence was to get your attention. Because you are letting make all the rules, say no. Act instead of reacting all the time. How the hell did you not file first. You gave her no reason to file, and she gave no…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 12:48 AM
3

Please tell me the don't deploy you with a weapon. All the enemy would have to do was send in a crying female, and you would surrender your weapon. Get a paternity test. You were gone too much, and she's proven that she will cheat on you. It's nothing to do with not wanting the child, but all about not having a partner who you can trust. BAS/BAQ are not worth it. If you are honest, you'll admit to yourself that she was getting most of that money anyway. I'm sorry you have to raise a child with a…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 12:28 AM
11

Tolerance will be the end of most men. If one penis enters my woman, she is no longer my woman. I know my worth, and there is no way in hell will I allow a loser to my status. If he were better, she would have just left. She fucked up everything and is hoping you will fight for her. But once she is his, I'm out forever. You can't move forward looking backward. If you accept this level of disrespect, it will only get worse. Accept it, and in two years, she'll have some guy in your living room exp…
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/24 11:15 PM
3

The monkey branch is not as secure as she thought. She's trying to keep doors open. You have to move on and not make yourself unavailable anymore. Find a younger prettier model and flaunt her in front of your ex. Your ex is as replaceable as you. She needs to know this. Never leave the bridge up after a monkey branch.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 06:18 PM
2

The energy you are wasting on her should be redirected to you. Never give anyone all of your heart again. Women should be allowed in your life by the value they add. People who lie and cheat can not add value because they are takers. At some point, you will have to realize you are the main character in your life. Everyone else is expendable. As long as you live, people are going to come and leave you. Some permanently through death. Some because one of you needs to grow. Love needs to be recipro…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 07:41 PM
17

Women rarely marry a man who is not her best option. There may be better men, but they wouldn't marry her. Somewhere around thirty, she realizes other men will have sex with her. These are usually married men cheating on a woman who is a better version of your wife.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/24 10:38 PM
5

I bet she'll be angling for him to do weekends. Then the girls' night out. After that, within six months, she'll be grooming his replacement. At some point, men are going to have to realize numbers don't lie. Marriage only offers a 50/50 chance. 80% of divorces are initiated by women. The numbers don't change in the lesbian community. Knowing the numbers, if she is going to leave any way, I'm not kissing her ass on the way out.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/24 01:05 AM
1

Not letting me put my name on the birth certificate would convince me to get a paternity test.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 11:02 PM
19

We can only process such information as the individual we are. Some of us fight for what isn't ours, and some of us walk away. We are not all built to take on others' problems. Myself in your situation would walk away. The Tennessee law against paternity fraud must go national.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 09:13 PM
2

😓
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 09:40 PM
13

Don't let her see you happy; she's liable to come back.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 09:37 PM
8

I stayed, but it wasn't because it was cheaper to keep her. I make about sixty grand more than she does, but she makes a good living as a data analyst. I was giving her my whole check and accepting an allowance. So I took less than ten percent of my earnings. As long as the bills were paid, I was good. The settlement I had drawn gave her thirty percent of my salary, but I agreed to continue to pay tuition for our daughter. I was so resolute in moving forward that I think it scared her. Her mothe…
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 09:35 PM
5

Sounds like you did way too much. At some point, she realized she could do whatever she wanted to you, and you'd stay. She's probably comfortable enough to look outside your marriage for companionship, and if she wanted to come back to you; you'd be waiting. At some point, you are going to realize that you love her, but you don't need her. With four children, you actually don't need women anymore. You put her through Med-School. It seems like you are the prize in your marriage. Cut down the pede…
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 08:49 PM
1

How dare you not take her back. You need to be knocked down a peg. So she fucked your loser friend to show you she could move on easily if you don't take her back. Women don't understand that even when they don't respect us, we respect ourselves. She is trying to create a cuckold paradox to erode your ego. If it were me, since your friend is already a pawn, I would use him to my advantage. I would contact him and let him know that fucking her is his prerogative. But acting like the two of you ca…
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 05:50 PM
3

I'm not that religious. I have invested my whole wealth in raising my family. That means the little over eight grand a month I bring home is to my wife's discretion. The weekly sex encounters could be covered by escorts. It could be covered by my allowance instead of giving all my money to my wife and having to save my allowance in case she makes a mistake. Escorts are not allowed opinions and politely leave after I'm satisfied. Now , I never will use escorts, but the argument it is cheaper to k…
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 11:15 PM
5

I commented a lot in this sub, but I decided to stay. In my mind, it would be easier on my own. My wife creates narratives to try to control me. Never works, but her resilience and creativity in her manipulation tactic astonish me. Now, my wife is not a bad influence on our children. Hell, she is one of the few traditional women I know. She is a great mother, but there is no way she could have produced Ivy League children without a strong father figure. Our youngest is fourteen, which gives her …
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 10:32 PM
2

It almost seems like she married you to have children, and old balls were waiting for you to do what he couldn't provide anymore. I would remind her that you are just waiting for a time when the kids are old enough to cut her completely out of your life. Only fools suffer friend-enemies.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 08:21 PM
13

Why does it seem everyone in this story has an ego, but you? You do realize that you are the prize in this story. Not the loser ex-boyfriend, who took her for an ego boost. Not her, who is only back to boost her ego. Imagine if she could get you to take her back, after all that she did to you, she's a prize again. The question I would ask myself is what makes him so worthy of you eating his leftovers twice. Is he that high status of a man that when he puts something on the streets, you need to p…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 09:58 PM
1

I told my wife that if we got divorced, I would never see the need for another woman. I have my three children, and sex is not worth dealing with women in the time of Instagram.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 11:20 PM
1

Can I see your credentials allowing you to police Reddit. When the divorce subject was broached, all of the post divorce scenarios were discussed. Just like before marriage, we had a cheat, and I leave discussion.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 11:16 PM
1

No. I have never threatened anyone. My wife witnessed me knock out a guy in Vegas for touching her. My wife decided against leaving as soon as I turned off nice guy mode and started calling her on her shit.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 10:54 PM
5

She's is either checked out or using divorce as a manipulation tactic. My wife only made twenty grand less than me. When the lawyer went over my new financial reality, I had her draw up a settlement. All of a sudden, my wife came to the realization that it was cheaper to keep me. I've been stuck in asshole mode the last three years. I guess she forgot that there was an asshole in her nice guy husband. She now knows my door is always open.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 10:46 PM
1

Luckily, my wife saw me knock out a thug before.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 10:05 PM
4

Never separate so she can taint herself on the streets. File for divorce now. Your marriage is over, and there's probably a coworker somewhere. If you have your shit together, new relationships are always a possibility. But the lack of respect in your marriage can only grow. The Wall is looming. There's no saving them from their Instagram reality.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 08:41 PM
2

Benevolence works out great for them takers. In your one amazing life, be selfish. Your story is about you. Allow people to fit into your life, not take over it. Good people who care about you should never think your life is about them. Life not beneficial to all parties is servitude. Be a great, big shining star in your life. You only live once.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 10:16 AM
11

Don't think about doing it before thirty-five. Hunker down on your career until then. Then, mitigate potential financial losses. Buy a home before you marry. Never put her name on it. Keep accounts separate. Learn to check women. For marriage to work, a man needs to lead. Too many men in this sub have put their wives on pedestals. When my marriage almost died three years ago, my ahha moment when I told my wife I love her, but I don't need her. After twenty years, I had to remind her she wasn't a…
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 03:48 AM
20

The only way this story becomes humiliating for you is if you are begging her to come back. You have your kid, and really, that is all we need women for. You get to raise your child without her fucking them up. Twenty years from you are going to look at your child and the half-sibling, and say I dodge a bullet.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 03:24 AM
3

Sounds like your ex used divorce as a punishment. I give her a year before she comes crawling back. Instagram has women believing there's something better out there. Women normally marry the best man they can get. Something has them thinking, gaining weight and aging makes them more valuable to men. I hope that you are ready to date. You are lucky enough to date younger and prettier
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 03:03 AM
17

The greatest realization in life is that you are the main character in your life. The second greatest realization is that if someone else is messing up the show, you can let them go. I remember telling her that I love you, but I don't need you. I think it broke her brain. My wife did a one-eighty when she realized that I would survive her.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 12:13 AM
1

Good luck with one word replies to women.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 09:48 PM
2

Don't meet. Just text her. "I don't like how we ended, but I'm happy where I'm at. If you have happy news, I am genuinely happy for you. If it is bad news, just know you are always in my prayers. I am so thankful for the road before me, I would have a hard time finding it beneficial to look back. This way, if her venture into the streets was hard on her, she knows there is no coming back . If she feels guilty, you don't have to hear about her affair. After seven months, I wouldn't understand why…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 01:49 AM
4

My wife never cheated on me. I remember her telling me she could do better. I laughed at her and said, "Show me the fool who wants the twenty years older and forty pound version of who I married, and I'm selling him a bridge." I married the prestine version of my wife, but if we were both single today, I doubt I'd be looking for a fifty years old, overweight mother of three. If she did cheat her pussy would be tainted by a Simp. Because only a fool would want my leftover. The asshole in me would…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 11:19 PM
3

I might be wired differently. Another guy's penis devalues my woman. What makes her special is her place in my life. If she gives herself to another man, she is no longer worthy of being in my life. I made my dealbreakers clear long before we married.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 09:29 PM
1

I would sit my ex down and have a moving forward conversation. First, limit his alone time with my daughters, and he isnotto put his hands on my children. Second, my role as dad is to be respect my role as dad. There are no other dads. Whoever she is with the children will call him by his first name. I will not tolerate narratives or alternate realities.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/23 10:31 PM
1

I loved "This Is Us," but it is impossible for any man to love my children more than me. You could change their last name, but their blood could only be mine.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/23 06:56 PM
3

Let me get this straight the step-father gets to walk his own daughter down the aisle, but I have to share my daughter. I'm sorry, just because we fucked the same woman for a while doesn't make us equals. I could understand deadbeats getting treated this way, but it should be offensive to good dads. Even in "Taken," with all the step-dad had to offer, dad was dad. A real woman/mom would never allow this.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/23 06:42 PM
1

What are you talking about? The ten to fifteen percent of men that are deadbeat dads. Most men love and sacrifice for their children more than themselves. Is there a limit of bullshit we will take from the mom, yes! Then again, women should not be allowed to use children as pawns. I watched my children come out of their mother. Raised them their whole lives. Sacrificed to send them to the best schools I could afford. All the way to Ivy League. You don't get those results living with a woman you …
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 11:26 PM
9

To some women, separation is a green light of their ho-phaze. Ask yourself this: Does she just want a divorce, or is it another way of disrespecting you. If she is heavy on the Micro-disrespect, your marriage is doomed. She wants to be a strong, independent woman, but she's humbled by the fact that she needs what you provide. She thinks you are a nice guy who will never leave her. You have given her too much certainty. All that being said, what is really going on is that she thinks she can do be…
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 10:25 PM
4

OP, I was right where you were three years ago. I didn't know the term financial infidelity back then. But I got a crash course real quick. I was one of those guys who put my check in the account, and as long as everything got paid, I was good. For my eldest daughters, sweet sixteen party, my wife got loans. I think she didn't want to empty or savings. I found out a year later when she was struggling with the 19% interest. Normally, her paycheck is her money, but at that interest rate on nearly …
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 03:41 PM
1

Oh, now our financials are separated. The crazy thing is that she makes 75k, and her money was her money was her money. But the interest rate was so high that she cleared out our rainy day fund. So when she still couldn't keep up, she had to tell me. I put her and our children on notice that the great depression has hit our home. Allowances were reduced, and we were put on a strict budget. After the first year, my work bonus was used to pay off the balance. If I didn't have a traditional wife wh…
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 12:19 AM
2

Just remember, at every turn, she needs to know; you will always choose you over her. I remained married after my near epic divorce attempt, but there was no infidelity involved. I chose myself to such a level that she was afraid I never loved her. I told her I did love her, but just not more than me. I was leaving her for the Micro-disrespect that normally leads to some sort of infidelity. Hers was financially. Twenty plus thousand loan that forced my family into debt for three years until I co…
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 11:45 PM
1

Then don't destroy your family over the suggestion of an internet stranger. I'm cynical and petty. I would do it just to watch her squirm.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 08:55 PM
1

You may not want to hear this, but you need to ascertain the length of the affair. To figure out if you require paternity tests. That "once a cheater" statement would automatically trigger paternity tests from me. You don't have to go all out and take the kids to the lab. Just a twenty-three and me to find family ancestry. Most kids would love to know the great people in their family tree.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 08:43 PM
0

The fact is that you had to woo her, give her a relationship, and then marry her. I would be rushing to divorce. The fact that you had to do the most, and now she is giving it away to guys saying nice boobs in the comments. Should prove that she is no longer worthy of you. Your mistake was when she asked for the separation youallowedit to happen. You should have leaned into divorce. She probably thinks she can still come back after she gets pumped and dumped for a year. You allowed her a gap yea…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 07:06 PM
3

Can I break this down? You had to woo her. Date her, marry her. Be her soul provider, and she sleeps with some guy on Facebook who commented she has nice boobs in the thirst trap she provided to the internet. The question you have to ask yourself is, could you respect yourself if you kept your wife after another man made her for recreational use only? At the moment, love is questioned in your relationship. Respect is the only glue that holds the marriage together. It's obvious she doesn't respec…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 02:55 PM
2

I don't take other fools' leftovers. The moment another penis enters the picture, I will never touch her again. She may think she can put other men on my level. My ego refuses to allow fools who pray on women through social media as my equals. You can do whatever you want, but disrespect is a hard habit of breaking.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 10:08 PM
13

Instagram is fooling forty plus women into believing that they have options. They either think they can do better or that the coworker they are cheating with is making all the right promises. Can't wait for her Tic-Tok videos on her journey.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 09:58 PM
2

I wonder if the married coworker was in the picture even before they got married. I saw a phenomenon on YouTube where a woman who is in love with her boss who won't ever get divorced. She starts a parallel relationship to fulfill what the coworker cannot offers. The parallel relationship provides her with the things she would miss out in a relationship with a married person. I'm not foolish enough to say that this is happening. But arguing the first six months of a marriage doesn't make sense ei…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 06:46 PM
4

Dude, she wants the lifestyle you provide without you in her bed. This is not reasonable, amicable, or feasible. She wants to adult by herself with your money. No reasonable person would ask this of someone whom they respect. If you do this, she knows she can always come back. 80% of divorces are initiated by women. They think two ways, either they can do better, or they can get you back. Close that door. No coming back. Tell her you need to save your money for your next relationship. Take away …
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 08:57 PM
2

The last time I got cheated on was nearly thirty years ago. What I remember from that experience was her surprise that I didn't think her fellow cheater was worthy of sharing a woman with me. Women think that they can exhalt any fool to your status. It's offensive because you spent your life making sure you were better than some coworker. It's okay to be offended by her thinking that men are exchangeable.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 08:10 PM
1

To think somebody could make me hate Scarlett Johannson is crazy. But I hated her character in this movie.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 09:46 PM
2

I stayed with my wife, but as a member of this sub, I would like to add: I Keep Forgetting, by Michael McDonald. No other song describes that feeling of being in love that is not returned.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 09:34 PM
1

I hope your son is in therapy. Eventually, she needs to go with him to therapy. He seems to be suffering from abandonment issues. Her actions may have a consequential effect on his relationships with women. At some point, you need to put your foot down. Don't be one of those fools whose ex are allowed to make him just as miserable as when he was married. She threw a grenade on your family. Everyone has scars from it. Seems to me that your son has lost respect for his mother. He sees that she thr…
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/23 01:05 AM
4

May I ask how old she is. Odds are the guy she is sleeping with, is married, and is not trying to leave his family. Women tend to over-inflate their value in the dating market. If she is over thirty talking to her divorced friends, she is hearing nightmare stories about today's dating with the apps. There are YouTube channels dedicated to the wall.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 09:56 PM
4

Putting you down so she can build him up. Don't be surprised if she realizes that you actually are the best you can get. So hurry up and find a more beautiful girlfriend.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 09:36 PM
3

Find the coworker and ask him in front of her if he is willing to take over full time.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/23 07:42 PM
3

Only financially. Threw my eldest a twenty-five grand party on a loan. If she had actually cheated, I would have left. I don't suffer that level of disrespect. I have a hard time allowing myself to think another man is worthy of sharing with me. Cheating would make her replaceable.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/23 01:11 AM
7

The quicker you come to the realization that you love her, but you don't need her the better. When my wife asked for a separation, I had a divorce settlement drawn. She asked if I loved her, and I said, of course. Then I told her that I didn't need anyone. Luckily, she didn't have my replacement lined up. My view of love is different. I love me the most and everyone else by the value they add. Someone who doesn't want to be in my life can not add value. My mother in law broke down the math for h…
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/23 04:11 PM
6

The problem with the wife being the breadwinner is everyone she works with makes more than you. Over time, they all seem to be better options than you. Since they admire her and probably flirt with her, she thinks she has better options. You just need to realize no one could love your children as much as you. Someday, she will. You will find a career path way before she meets your equals as a partner. Single mothers tend to over estimate their value on the dating market. They rarely want the typ…
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/23 03:38 PM
1

Ask your attorney if they suggest that proof will help. They should have a PI they work with.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/23 02:44 PM
1

At some point, she'll say something that disqualifies her from being in your wife. At that point, only make decisions that are best for you. If she wants a divorce, and you didn't realize she was leaning that way; maybe you were checked out too. Men's first instinct is to stay no matter what. Women ues leaving as a punishment.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/23 08:28 PM
2

My kids were the catalysts for my dead bedroom. Without children, I don't know what not having children looks like. My wife had body image issues after three kids. The other problem was that she was loud. I don't know if a therapist would have helped us, but we did have some difficult conversations. I had to let her know that whatever her body type is, that is my type. A hard sell that is easier once you believe it yourself. Then we agreed on adult weekends twice a month. There's nothing like a …
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/23 03:17 PM
1

Work from your masculine. Check her micro disrespect. Never tolerate disrespect. Make sure she knows you love her, but you don't need her. There is a lot of content on YouTube. Type in what is ailing your relationship with a woman, and some red-pill content will come up.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/23 02:24 PM
1

The only thing that doesn't change in the play that is called your life is you. You are the main character in your life. Everything and everyone can change as long as you are there. Change your mind and change your world. Choose to believe that there is better for you in your future and there is. Most women marry the best man they can get. This doesn't mean they can't be with higher status men, but those men will not marry them. Don't be surprised when she knocks on the door and her feeling you …
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 01:54 PM
3

She's checked out. She probably cheated with a coworker, but he can't afford the lifestyle you afford. She thinks that the grass is greener but can't find a good monkey branch. It has to be unsettling to realize your settle for is actually the best you can get. It took my mother in law telling my wife that I was the best she could get. She told her that women checked me out all the time. I knew this but found it hilarious. Start watching "The Wall" videos on YouTube. Women are leaving good husba…
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 01:53 PM
4

If it were me, I'd stop working 12 hour days. Work 8, and prepare. She's checked out to the point that it's when, not if. Most men don't realize they can control themselves. Cut down on hours, and none essentials. Stop paying five hundred to a thousand dollars on entertainment. Working twelve hours, you don't have time for Netflix. Stop being an ATM for an independent SAHM. Sometimes peace is worth half of your shit.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 01:09 PM
5

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. Take your mother in law to lunch. Come up with a plan that reverses custody to you being the 70. Your ex is still in the affair fog. Her marriage will never work because it started as an affair. Get your place clean and ready for CPS. Why are you crying yourself to sleep? You have escaped a nightmare. Do you have any idea how many women out there who were like your wife and lost a good man because the grass is greener fairy tale. All you have to do is focus on…
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 12:42 PM
3

My mother in law. Took my side and told my wife that if she thought that she could do better than me, she is is crazy. She told her bad husbands/dads, "Kids don't go to Ivy League colleges."
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/23 09:58 PM
17

I came close but stayed married. That red-pill content helped me turn back into the man she married. I think "Happy Wife, Happy Life" is the worst phrase ever uttered. I started checking my wife, and she stopped trying me. I think a lot of men need that content. You don't have to agree with everything that they say. But today's women are controlled by social media. There is a playbook they follow, and the red-pill community has cracked with statistics.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/23 02:55 AM
12

Dude, we really need to know and respect the age we live in. Social media has women on a "Grass Is Greener" reality. At 51, thinking she could do better is delusional. The good news is that younger women than your wife has already learned the lesson of the carousel. The wall is unforgiving. I got lucky my mother in law straight out told my wife that she could not do better than me. She told her how many women at church looked at me like their favorite cake. What my wife didn't know is that I not…
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 04:35 PM
1

My father in law took care of my mother in law well before he passed. I had to refuse her assistance in helping to pay for our children college. She still sends an allowance to our children.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/23 03:34 PM
5

Thanks for the reply. When my wife asked for a separation, I opted for divorce. Her plan was to take children to her mother's house in Vegas. Before she left, I had a settlement drawn. She claimed that I was financially abusive. All I demanded was any purchase over a thousand dollars we talk. Crazy thing was when she got to her mother's and told her what was going on; her mother told her she better get back to her husband. Her mother told her that I was the absolute best she could get. She told …
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 10:53 PM
9

Let me guess, mid-forties pushed for divorce. After a year and a half, odds are that she is coming to the realization she married the best man she could get. She is dropping off junk as a heat check.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 05:43 PM
2

We went to my best friends BBQ. I was telling military stories to about fifteen men. My wife brought me a plate and a beer. Now, to be honest, she always caters to me. Her mom did it for her dad. Part of the reason I married her was the example her parents made. I found it crazy when women standing around looked at her like she just set feminism back 100 years.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 05:26 PM
2

When we went through our shit I didn't stay for love. Most days, I didn't like her for two years. We survived on a mutual respect. Too many women marry men they don't respect. I can just look at my wife, and she knows that a modification is necessary. I remember being at a barbecue; when my wife brought me a plate, people looked like she was an alien. That's a pretty low bar. Bring the provider a plate.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 02:46 PM
13

Love begins a marriage, but respect is what holds it together. If I had to choose between love or respect, I could live without love. Married twenty years and the down times respect pushed us through.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 01:55 PM
18

Stop saying emotional affair. It doesn't lessen the effect. She had a full-on affair and successfully monkey branched. An emotional affair is not less classy than a physical affair. But I promise you it was a physical affair. I am not a big fan of the red-pill community, but for guys like you, there is no other way. That Hallmark reality where women can't be shitty people only happens on TV. I had a guy who worked for me who was just as blue-pilled as you. He found out three years after his divo…
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 11:40 PM
2

Reading your reply, that great quote from the original Spider-Man came into my head. "With much power comes great responsibility!" Think about it. No company, no friend, or family had the power in your life as this woman, and she abused it. Divorce for women comes with a long thought-out plan. I'm talking. She talked to a lawyer five years ago to see the maximum prize they could extract from you. It was in her plan for you to comply. I'm sorry, but for all that, she gets to see my asshole switch…
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 10:24 PM
4

Turn on your masculine. I don't care if it's toxic. Turn it all the way up. Respecting you should not be a choice in your own home. I hope she is the breadwinner because that's the only way this level of disrespect is plausible. If there is any good news, it's she's playing herself way more than she's playing you. She is sleeping with club guys and thinks that translates into her ability to have one of these men in her life. Trust me, it's easier to date as a forty year old mom if you are marrie…
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 10:01 PM
2

People cheat because they don't respect you. You can never reach a fair business agreement with someone who doesn't respect you. I know your relationship is beyond repair. If my wife ever cheated on me, scortched earth would be the only way forward. I am not afraid to burn it all down and rebuild myself with what is left.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 09:02 PM
1

Tell men about it. The oldest tuition is 1700 a month.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 02:41 AM
2

Could you wait and get her to move to Florida for a year?
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/23 07:40 PM
12

She's a data analyst, so she makes enough to take care of herself. She couldn't afford to live in Jersey like we do, but I think her plan was to move back to Vegas. I think she was caught up in keeping up with the Jones bullshit. Friends buying hundred thousand dollar cars, and mines is ten years old. Our finances are separate, and she needs my money to buy shit like that. I'd rather pay tuition for my kids than a car. Plus, I plan to retire at sixty. Once I sat her down to the mathematics of ou…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/23 09:32 PM
18

I remember doing this math and was done with my marriage. My wife was nagging about small stuff. Pointing out what other men gave their families and we didn't have. Crazy thing was I made more money than other husbands. My mistake was that I didn't control the money. My check went into the account. As long as the bills were paid, I was good. My wife was staying with her mom when I got the papers drawn. I guess after a month of her bashing me, my mother in law had enough. She did the marriage mat…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/23 05:53 PM
1

No infidelity is always an assumption. You should hire a PI with IT skills. When she plays hardball swing for the fences.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 09:08 PM
4

Watch some red-pill content on YouTube.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 09:02 PM
0

My comment is too late for you, but maybe it can help someone else. Never leave the house and give a woman time to think. You left her at thirty-five, thinking she had options to replace you. You should have divorced while she still thought she could do better. You gave her just enough time to realize you are the best she could get. She is going to punish you for that.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 07:39 PM
4

The streets lead to the wall. Stop trying to save her from herself.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 04:40 PM
1

If she disrespected you, you took her off the pedestal too late. Only women with certainty disrespect their men.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 01:40 AM
1

If you didn't check her on your marriage, you should learn to do it in divorce. Women need to be checked and called out on their bullshit. The inability to check her causes an erosion of respect.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 12:22 AM
2

It's red-pill content. You were warned, but as an old player, I think the relationship advice is good for nice guys in dating. Type in SSM or True Story. If nothing else, it's entertaining stories of men standing up for themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 01:29 AM
2

Dude, you are a successful single dad. You have the two things that every woman wants at some point. You have the ability to provide, and you have proven you can commit. Now, if you can just find your asshole switch so you can turn it on as needed. Women try you through out a relationship. They need to be checked. Checking women is leading women. You are more successful than most women you meet. Let's be honest, you are smarter or as smart as most women you meet. You are expected to provide for …
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 01:06 AM
1

Go early to the party and give a great present. Then leave soon after she arrives. Have a late dinner with your new girlfriend.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 12:33 AM
5

Women leave marriages all the time because they are bored or think they can do better. Your wife cheats leave her ass. You don't need evidence unless you are in one of the few at fault states. File for irreconcilable differences. Stop running past red flags. The earlier you divorce her in marriage, the cheaper it will be. Today's women are getting away with a lot of shit. Social media is showing they are monsters, yet men stupidly choose a cape. "DON'T SAVE HER, SHE DON'T WANT TO BE SAVED!" J. C…
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 08:26 PM
2

You are talking about her not seeing reality with the low life. Dude, you are the one who is delusional. She has shown you exactly who she is. You refuse to believe her. Lean into divorce, and don't say anything about the affair. I'd personally spend the money to have a PI follow him. If he's the dirty one, then keep digging. At best, you are going to get fifty/fifty custody. Accept it at first. When a woman is sprung and has no place to go, they move in. Give them a month of playing house, or w…
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 07:12 PM
9

It's easy to clean a house when there is no one to make it dirty.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/23 05:24 PM
3

Dude, ten years is cheaper than twenty. Don't let her gaslight you into a forever marriage. If she makes more than you, you don't have too much to worry about. But if you're the breadwinner, talk to a lawyer tomorrow.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/23 01:18 AM
1

You are lucky in this way. My nephews friend married a Russian woman. He might have seen her six times in four years. They have never had sex.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 11:37 PM
6

I'm with this guy. Of course, single moms are wonderful through getting married. They have nothing to lose. But men who marry them have everything to lose. Add in that she has already proved that she will leave rather fight.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 06:15 PM
1

What do you mean you have no idea? Get rid of the girlfriend, even if it means you have to liquidate your business. DNA your child. Cheaters rarely start with family members. You put her name on everything, see a lawyer on Monday. There is no saving the relationship when the level of disrespect is this high.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 06:01 PM
8

Rule number one: Never love anyone more than yourself. Rule number two: Only love someone by the value they add to your life. Your ex sounds flaky, not only to you but to your children. Your ex is only allowed in your life by your lack of self-worth. If you respected your value, would you want a woman who has flaked on your children once. For your children's sake, find someone who is fully invested in you. As a man with children, you don't have the luxury to deal with women who haven't figured t…
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 05:06 PM
2

You are giving her too much power. Especially after divorce. You don't have to answer every message. Start answering. I'm at lunch. Or any event that correlates to the time she messages you. Reduce access, and when she complains, remind her that your responsibility is to your child. Your parenting time is between you and your child. As long as you continue this level of access, she is assured she can monkey branch back to you. Close that door. Get some therapy and get back on the dating market. …
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 06:36 PM
1

I'm not going to point out anything disparaging about your wife. That being said, there are a few red flags in your story. Seems like you don't realize that you are the prize in the relationship. Unless she can monkey branch back to her ex, you are the best she can get. Go into the single parents subreddit and see how hard it is for women in their twenties to get men to take them seriously after a divorce and one kid. Your wife is facing her second divorce with five children in her thirties. Div…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 06:14 PM
2

Not my wife, but when I was in the Air Force, I got cheated on. Putting in for a transfer was the best remedy for the break up that ensued. The relief that you don't have to worry about seeing her in a grocery store. My ex thought she was smart enough to talk me into getting back together. I basically ghosted her. She eventually transferred to the base I was at, but by then, I truly moved on.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 09:33 PM
3

Don't count out another man. Women normally will never express that they did something wrong. My friend didn't find out his wife was having an affair until three years after divorce. He blamed himself so much that he tried to give her everything. The judge had to save him from himself. He wasn't listening to his lawyer. Crazy thing was that she tried to come back after he was thriving again. He was through with her by then. He later found out that his friend she cheated got another woman pregnan…
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 09:16 PM
9

You tell yourself that she will never see you like that again. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Focus on making you better. You have been in a holding pattern. Today, you say no more. At work, ask higher ups how to move up. When you are not at work, hit the gym. Lose the weight and add muscle. Find your hidden talent. Everyone has one. Three years ago, I sat down and wrote a book at fifty-four. My father once told me, "Change your mind, and you can change your world.!"
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/23 06:01 PM
1

Sounds like you missed a lot of red flags and didn't understand female nature. I bet you were married a few years after college. I guessed with some pressure from her. She probably is approaching thirty. That's when women evaluate their lives and think they have options. You are probably a nice guy giving her certainty and a comfortable life. Women see getting put on pedestal as a weakness. Her boss is probably a lateral move from you. Women usually marry the best man they can get. Her boss is p…
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 09:20 PM
1

Sounds like she's met a coworker and planned the divorce for months. The fact that you still got what you wanted is a miracle. I bet the lawyer promised the world because she was a woman.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 08:58 PM
1

Dude, who the fuck says she is in charge. There is no cure for her lack of respect. Dump her work on your self-respect and learn how to check women. When someone asks the reason for the divorce, say I put her on a pedestal. Women loathe white knights.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/23 07:08 PM
1

Sit her down and tell her by no means you will another man to step into your role. Let her know the distance is her decision and that your children are too important to let her make all of the decisions. Unless she provides a DNA test that says that the children are not yours, you plan to assert your fatherhood for the rest of your life.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/23 04:45 PM
1

Is there any possibility that the child isn't yours. Your wife seems like she is protecting her child from a step- father. Nobody wants to go straight to an affair. Most times, it is the most likely answer.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/23 03:54 PM
1

Odds are she was cheating on you. That's why she was always starting shit. Good news for you is women normally marry the best man they can get.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/23 01:21 AM
12

Just saw something on YouTube on this subject. When his ex told him her boyfriend hit her; he asked if the boyfriend ever touched his children. Eventually, the asshole hit hit his daughter. He went straight to his Ex house and beat the guys ass. Took him to the hospital after he finished. He told the asshole that if he wanted to press charges, he would press charges on his daughter's black eye.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/23 01:17 AM
1

People will only treat you like you, allowing them to treat you. Stop taking bullshit and no shit will be in your life. The term "Who do you think you are talking to!" Was made for a reason.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/23 04:51 PM
3

As someone whose wife did a one-eighty before, I pulled the trigger. They are attractive to the asshole in you. As soon as I turned it on, she had a change of heart. I took her back, but she would never be totally comfortable that I would not survive without her. The problem with them coming back after some time is that they expect you to expect the version of themselves after thirty dicks. I would have never accepted that. One dick would have been too much for a second chance. Women tend to mar…
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/23 04:50 PM
1

Can you trick her into moving to Florida.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/23 11:32 PM
2

A lot of guys in this sub should be watching this channel on YouTube. The guy is funny and gives good advice.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/23 09:49 PM
0

I've been married twenty years with three amazing kids, so I don't fully buy into the red-pill movement. That being said, there's a lot of good information for young men like you. YouTube has a lot of stories like yours, and I think it will help seeing how others got through it. You will learn that getting divorced is not your mistake, but getting married so young was. Also that women are basically living life from a playbook. Focus on your career. Make you the best version you can be. Then, all…
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/23 07:08 PM
3

Before we got married, I laid Don the law. I don't suffer disrespect. I told her I don't date backward, and when I'm done; I'm all the way done. No friends after divorce. I only pay what the court says.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 12:23 AM
4

Why wait. Go to YouTube and type in ex-wife karma. You are bound to find a story that begins like yours. But they rarely end well for her. You can't build a home on evil and ruthless acts and live a dream.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 05:01 PM
1

You don't understand the difference between men and women. Your ex is at her peak or beyond it in the dating market. Your value on the dating market is not in correlation with your age, but with your success. You have time during the week to focus on your purpose. Become an LPN or doctor, whatever reaches your peak. Your kids will grow with the benefit of a father who wanted n more from their mother than sex. Your ex will live the rest of her life with men who only want her for sex. Dude, perspe…
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 04:36 PM
2

At what juncture does the coworker pop out? Don't worry, you will come out of this stronger. I have been watching content of guys with stories like yours on YouTube. This kind of content allows guys like you to see that there is hope on the other side. It also helps you to understand women's behavior.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/23 05:19 PM
5

Women don't realize that in their thirties, they don't have the same prospect as they did in their twenties. They also don't realize they usually marry the best man they can get. If they are lucky, they can probably make a lateral move. A thirty year old mother will never do as her twenty year self.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 04:31 PM
6

You need to be red-pilled immediately. Your story is so typical that they make videos about it on YouTube. Heard four stories exactly like yours this month, and it hasn't been ten days. This will only get worse if you don't learn how to stand up for yourself. Right now, she sees you as a weak loser who would never leave her. Your neighbor will never stand for a relationship with your wife. She is pursuing him because he doesn't offer certainty. They want the man they can't have. My wife never ch…
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 03:38 PM
3

Turned on mine, and my wife did a one-eighty. All of a sudden, the threat of divorce was off the table. I think she thought of divorce as a punishment. That was three years ago, and I'm still married. I think I've found that women never leave assholes. I try to keep it at a respectful level. But I have been checking her for the littlest things. Because women use micro-disrespect to gain control in a relationship. If she leaves me because I I will not allow her to disrespect me, then the door is …
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 04:54 PM
2

It's time for some hard conversations. If your marriage can't handle that, divorce is emanat any way. My wife would have swallowed her pride and got a lob at Amazon or UPS. Too many of these stories end with the wife losing weight and having an affair. I'd hate to pay six grand that prepares her for a loser that preys on married women with self-esteem issues.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 04:40 PM
1

I normally watch romantic comedies for a pick me up. But you probably require something uplifting without the fairy tale ending. So my recommendation is: "I Can Only Imagine"
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 04:12 PM
21

Hire an attorney and get it over with! This can go on for years, and the longer you are married, the more the distribution of property costs you.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 02:09 PM
4

They think the validation they get from their bored married coworkers translate to options. In reality, men are not looking for single mothers. They might smash, but nothing serious. My wife got out of the delusion when she saw women checking me out at our kids' pickup. I've always checked her when she came close to my boundaries. I also let her know early in our relationship that the door is open. What I found is that women don't leave assholes.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 12:56 AM
2

I guess I'm just spiteful. A younger, prettier blonde would drive the ex crazy. I'd have a string of them and wait until she hits the wall.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 05:31 PM
9

Man! I would have divorced her as soon as the girls' weekends started. Married women hanging out with single or divorced friends is disrespectful. It also sets fertile grounds for an affair. I don't agree with all the red-pill bullshit, but paying attention to who your woman hangs out with is solid advice.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 05:23 PM
3

She is that Kim Kardashian type that believes they can have any man they want. They have kids with the nice guys and cheat with assholes. The problem is that no man who has his shit together will actually take them seriously. It's probably the asshole in me. My children have to be first out of the shoot.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 04:46 PM
6

Same age. My wife was the first to say separation. When I told her I didn't believe in separation, I had the papers drawn up. She totally freaked out. I stayed mostly because it would be financially adverse to funding our daughters college. What I realize is that she was using divorce as a punishment. Once she realized that I would survive and probably thrive, she backed off. I reminded her that I was still the guy she married twenty years ago, and I still will have options. I'm so glad I didn't…
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 03:09 PM
2

Dude, lean into divorce! One of two things will happen. She will actually try to work with you to fix your marriage, or she will leave you with your dignity in tack.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 02:33 PM
10

She is in post affair fog and trying to lock the new guy in. I'm guessing she's over thirty and is on the clock. Men's value is affected little by the fact they are divorced and have kids. But the dating market is hard on single mothers over thirty. She probably feels that if she doesn't lock this guy in, she looks like a fool for putting a nuclear bomb in her marriage. I would just enjoy your time with your children.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 12:16 AM
0

God and love were the main tenants of marriage, then came the internet.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/23 02:56 PM
6

Whether she cheated or not is irrelevant. The lack of respect she has for you is intolerable. Find some respect for yourself and let her go. If I were you, I would have left her at the hospital. I would have never looked back. She is doing you a favor. You will not understand this until you realize you were the prize in your marriage. Let her go, and tell your lawyer that you don't want to give her a priority penny more than you have to. Then, move at least an hour away from her.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 09:41 PM
3

Fuck that! Veto that mess. How the hell is she, can she feel comfortable enough to bring another man in your house. How can he be comfortable coming into your home. You need a strong man in your life to advise you. No woman would attempt this bullshit on me. It would offend me if she thought it would be safe to bring another man in my house without permission. I'd tell male friends are not allowed in my home.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 02:10 PM
1

Never love someone so much you can't let them go. Women only do what they can get away with. The first thing I tell a woman is you cheat, you probably should leave. Too many young men let reconciliation be on the table. Four billion women in the world. There is no way the first woman you get is the best you can get. Cheating with married women is a character flaw. This relationship is doomed. Focus on yourself, and I assure that your best life is in your future.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/23 09:05 PM
5

This is listen to your lawyer territory.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/23 08:07 PM
2

I just don't want it to make it look like I threw her to the wolves. I bring home twice as much. She's in debt and will not let me help her. The interest rate she has on a couple of loans she ridiculous, and she will not let me help. I don't hate her. I'd hate for my children to see the downfall I predict. I have been saving my VA disability to fix her credit, but she will not admit she can't handle it. I can divorce or not, but she would have to admit she fucked up. Something women are incapabl…
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 11:42 PM
1

Dude, they don't care how they behaved. They don't hold themselves accountable. She did what she did because she had options. Dating is not the same as it was ten years ago, and relationships that begin in affairs rarely last.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 07:25 PM
2

I'm in the same boat. Three years ago, I stayed for the children. She is bad with money and even harder to hold accountable. I wish I could give her a boat load of money and walk away.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 07:21 PM
2

Move on before she comes back. She is going to get out there and realize you were the best she could get. Odds are you can actually do better than her. Don't waste your potential on her.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 06:49 PM
2

At fifty-seven, I don't think I will ever be in a relationship again. Luckily for me, I saw marriage as a partnership. I didn't need to be in love all twenty years. Most of the time, I was happy in contentment. I fucked my wife all twenty years. When I was younger, I couldn't count how many women I had sex with, just because I wanted to see her breast.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 06:20 PM
2

That was hilarious. That bit at the end AITA for not wanting to lose my benefits. She sounds like a veteran or retired police officer. Seriously, reading between the lines. She left her nice-guy doctor. Probably because he wouldn't let her stay in her masculine energy. He also was preventing her from spending all of his money. She is basically telling her new boyfriend he doesn't make enough to ride all the way round the track. Women who walk around with Hermes bags wouldn't be caught dead with …
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 05:59 PM
2

You do understand women are made for procreation. She is past her expiration date. Worse is you will come to realize you are the safe choice after the bad boys spent years screwing her up.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 05:05 PM
3

There will be a lot of men in her wishing they had your problem. No affair with a coworker or neighbor. She wants to be with you. It's okay to be the parent or partner who does the most; as long as what you are doing is appreciated. If you stay, she probably won't change. If you leave, she will most likely find a replacement for the stuff she needs from you. You will see your son a lot less. If she is shitty she w limit your time and try to replace you. Every marriage requires constant adjustmen…
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 03:53 PM
4

I don't agree with all the red-pill content, but they are dead on when they talk about open relationships. Your wife gave you a STD. This is a conversation you should have with a divorce lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 09:57 PM
6

I get it. The unknown is scary. What is really scary is that she didn't just fall out of love with you. There is always another shoe to drop. Worse, a lot of women will take it to her grave rather than holding themselves accountable. I'm banking on a coworker who will not leave his wife. But at this point, your only concern is your child. I wouldn't give her a choice. Six year dead-bedroom, and she has the nerve to say she doesn't love me. I'd tell her we are getting divorced. I would prefer we …
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 02:17 AM
1

First lay off the sauce. Get a lawyer and listen to everything she says. Do not let your Ex dictate how your divorce will go. People who listen to their STBX on divorce tend to find themselves subsidizing a new life with a coworker who wasn't supposed to exist. Your future seems bright. Let go the past, and focus on the future.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 02:28 PM
5

Sounds like you are watching some of that red pill content. Don't go too far down that rabbit hole. Fifty percent of marriages work. You probably got married way too young. There are principles from the red pill content that will help you in relationships. Especially vetting a woman and setting absolutes. You let her get comfortable, and he showed her attention. There was nothing you could have done. Her character had flaws. In her mind, if her new relationship doesn't work, you will be waiting.…
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 02:12 PM
20

If possible, use the affair fog to your benefit. Sometimes, they feel guilty for breaking up the family for another man. Those who don't aren't worth being married to in the first place. Lean into divorce. Get a lawyer Monday, and tell him you want an excelerated divorce. You can never trust her again. This affair has probably been going on as long as she put divorce on the table. Her coworker probably has gotten caught, and his wife is leaving him. You need to be on the ball because a lot of wo…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 11:37 PM
9

If it was emotional cheating before the separation; it definitely got physical after the separation. If you think you will be okay with finding out another man had her keep up the limbo. If it were me, I'd be leaning into divorce. Especially if you have no children.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 10:24 PM
1

I'm surviving in the cheaper to keep her phase. One in college and two in high school. Me leaving would leave them with student loan debt. My wife has been put on notice that I'm staying for the kids, and if she has three years to convince me to stay. The uncertainty has changed the whole tenner of the house. For the first time in twenty years, she is expected to contribute towards the expenses. I normally pay everything. With two grand a month for tuition, it has been a stretch.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/23 08:07 PM
-1

Tell her you have no desire to have a child in this world with no parental rights. You would have given her a family, but she decided she didn't want that. May whoever she chooses next have the ability to give her the family she deserves, but not with your child. Now, get a lawyer and make it unaffordable. You will regret finding a family friend or coworker she was cheating on you with. Gets to have your life with your child. Like you never existed.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 10:31 PM
1

This comment should be reposted every time a twenty something guy comes in her crying about losing his five-year love of his life. Her cheating on you or leaving you prevents shit like this from happening.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 07:57 PM
6

Always the other guy. Women hate to be held accountable. The reason why you should get a lawyer is that you never know her true reasons for divorce. They lie because if you knew the true reason for the divorce, you would never speak to her again.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 07:50 PM
3

Don't be the safety net. Once she someone gets away with it, it only gets worse. It is okay to respect yourself enough that even people you love can't walk all over you.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 05:50 PM
4

She realized that at forty, you may be a better option than the Wall. You married her with no kids, and at the time, you were probably the absolute best she could get. I don't care how good she looks. Few men want to deal with divorce women problems. Her selling point beyond her looks is that you gave a house. Women look at a divorce as a punishment or competition. You moving forward let's her know that you think you will survive. Confidence is attractive and scary. You just basically told her I…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/23 07:13 PM
2

Why the Testing Labss data shows that 30% of DNA test results in a "Parent Not Expected." Ths number does not include paternity exposed by medical procedures, and death bed confessions.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/23 03:21 PM
7

Seems like she was in the middle of setting up a classic coworker monkey branch. She said she wanted a divorce to relieve guilt. Rarely do they monkey branch without securing a back door. Talking to a lawyer slams the back door shut. Now, she is left in a position of hoping that if the coworker leaves his wife. If he doesn't, she has to start over with no backup plan. Personally, I'd lean into divorce. It will make her irratic and put pressure on the coworker. I could be wrong, but your story re…
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 03:44 PM
14

I joined this sub three years ago. My wife changed and I decided to stay. Once a woman starts talking about divorce, irreplaceable damage is done. To have a place to grieve and advise those in a similar situation is required to affect men in all stages in this journey. Telling men your journey is invaluable information for men who don't believe in a happy ending.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 06:15 PM
3

She has a loan over 15% interest, and the struggle to keep up payments is killing her. My wife did this, and it forced me to retire three years later. I wish I had left her right there, but I took all access to our money. I also set up credit alerts by her social security number. This is infidelity. You get the same trickle truth and gaslighting as if she is fucking your best friend. I'm not going to tell you what to do, but my wife is perfect in every other way, and I still wish I would have le…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 02:11 PM
1

I hope you didn't add her on as a dependent. That might come back to bite you.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 08:01 PM
1

If your none taxable income is from the VA. They made it hard for my friends wife to get any of it. Her lawyer told her it wasn't worth it for a four year marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 07:59 PM
2

Sometimes, you have to be able to walk away. The question is, how do you think coparenting will go while holding her accountable for her bullshit. I understand the need to take care of your children biological or not. What you can't do is allow her to use the children against you. Another thing that you have to prepare for is someday someone will do an ancestry test. All you need is a junkie who got his life together ten years later asking for coparenting time. What looks like the right thing to…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 07:32 PM
2

If no marital funds were involved in the purchase, how is equity an issue? She probably waited so long to find someone who said she deserves something.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 08:05 PM
1

Most women project and will gaslight to avoid accountability.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 06:04 PM
9

80% of divorces are initiated by women. 98% of people getting spousal support after divorce are women. Women are rewarded child custody, 90% of divorces. Most states divide property 50/50 in most divorces no matter who made what. Only get married if you are strong enough to let someone you love go. Only women get to be happy in marriage. Men survive in contentment. Keeping a woman happy is an impossible task. Finally, you can do everything right and still get divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 11:01 PM
5

What if they are not crazy. What if they are thinking about divorce before you ask them to marry. They marry you stay ten to twenty years; leaves with half your shit. There is a forty year old woman's Tic-Tok. It's okay to leave a good man.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 08:07 PM
2

Character! 23 year old cheating with a married woman lacks the character to sustain a long-term relationship. You may also factor in that faithfulness no longer bounds your ex to a relationship. This time, she went younger. I don't see how she doesn't cheat on him for money. You supplementing her lifestyle will only last so long. Once support stops, there is no way a teacher can afford her attention. Find apathy, my friend. Hold her accountable for her bullshit. Many men have rebuilt a better li…
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 04:09 PM
20

I wonder how this would affect the divorce rate in Florida. Forty year old SAHM'S are going to have to rethink their life plan.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 12:56 AM
1

As soon as you move out, the coworker starts spending the night. Make her wait until you are actually divorced. Women always fall out of love when another man enters the picture.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 08:40 PM
3

If she has Instagram, Tic-Tok run.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 06:53 PM
5

The realization that she didn't have total control of you set her off.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 06:47 PM
2

My question is, why would she invite OP? She knows the pain she caused him. She knows how uncomfortable it would be for both of them. My only guess is her greener grass brown after she mowed it. Seems like a heat check to see if OP will take her back. Stay no contact!
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/23 08:21 PM
3

Love is not sustainable! Love can be redirected. I'd rather respect. Respect is earned and commanded. It should never be a question the consequence of disrespect.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/23 12:17 AM
3

The inability for women to hold themselves accountable makes divorce worse. We need a speech: "Is it possible that instead of lying and deceit, you own up to what is actually going on. I fell in love with someone else. You'll be the bad guy for fifteen minutes, and life will go on. No, they would rather lie, let you blame yourself. Maybe it's a back door if you blame yourself. You can forgive her once that relationship fizzles out. For me, if she allows another man to touch her. She is no longer…
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/23 01:33 PM
-9

She got sexually assaulted twice. That doesn't make sense. Most people are very careful after sexual assault.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 10:31 PM
1

What does SA stand for?
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 09:41 PM
20

Your marriage didn't end because of love. She cheated on you and left because she didn't respect you. No relationship survives disrespect. She needs you to clean up her mess. She wouldn't be asking if she respected you. I have no idea what your situation is financially, so I would never tell you not to help her. Just don't make room for her in your life again. If you give someone something they don't deserve; they could never respect it like they earned.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 08:48 PM
14

SAHM should cease being a thing upon asking for a divorce. As soon as she asked for divorce your response should be "Bitch did you get a job!"
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/23 05:27 PM
3

When they ask for divorce, your obligation to not act like her purpose was to procreate is over. Thanks for the children, but life moves on without her.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 06:17 PM
5

Take off a week from work and do not give your children back on her time. If you find that a rule doesn't work, make it not work in your favor. Why are you negotiating with her new husband. Remind him he is her new Dick. Not her best Dick or even her last dick, but just the best dick of her last years of choosing dick. He got Madonna when Dua Lipa was available. Stop treating her like a prize when she is just an older bitch.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 05:51 PM
2

That is completely up to her. At fifty-seven, she is probably my last relationship. I'm a military veteran and am totally okay with being on my own. Women today are too delusional to deal with. She thinks I will have a younger woman within a year. I have been with more than a hundred women and been faithful in a twenty year marriage. No desire for my daughters to ever see dad with another woman.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/23 05:59 PM
3

My mother in law talked her down three years ago. But that feeling that she is ungrateful never goes away. Women talk about happiness, where most men after the love fog realize we were only content. I stayed for the children. Why, because you know what I didn't see on our daughters college tour? Single parents. Kids from single parents go to college, but not a lot go to the best schools.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/23 11:29 PM
4

You weren't tossed aside. You were liberated. It may take a few years to realize she opened the door to a brighter life.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/23 11:06 PM
3

Thanks for your reply. We both gained weight, but I lost my gut. I hate being accused of cheating. I don't ever return the gaze of other women.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/23 09:20 PM
3

Let me guess, wife has given up on sex yet still expects you to stay married?
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/23 08:45 PM
2

I would simply tell her: I see a question mark for us after the last kid is gone. You have done things that I can't unsee. I'm not sure you can fix it. I don't want what is ahead come as a surprise. You taught me that I respect myself even when others don't. Sorry, I kind of wrote this for my situation.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 09:10 PM
5

More than seventy percent of posts in this sub; I read them and think update when the coworker pops out.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 08:08 PM
13

Why don't guys realize that divorce is a punishment. They foolishly think that their ability to get dick correlates in their ability to replace you. Normally, women marry the best man they can get. The coworker cannot replace you. OP used a George Costansa reference. I will use Jerry Seinfeld: act like she can be replaced. The most beautiful woman in the world will be flustered when you act like her leaving you will not destroy you. My wife didn't see sadness once. No crying or fighting. She ask…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 06:03 PM
1

My mother in law talked the crazy out of my wife. Straight up told her she couldn't do better than me. My mother in law is a usher at our church. She pointed out that other women drueled over me, and I didn't notice. I noticed, but character is important to me. My wife didn't notice how many options I had until she came with me to our youngest pickup. Single mothers love seeing dads involved in their children's lives.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 01:16 AM
5

Women hate to be held accountable. Saying they have FOMO makes them look bad. If women initiate divorce in eighty percent of the time, you can't tell me none of them is FOMO. I think at least fifty percent are cheating or FOMO. That being said. Brothers, be easy on yourselves . They blame you, so you will blame yourself. More often than not, she is selfish. Your self-loathing is a back door. Just in case the grass is not greener. It takes two to end the marriage. Why do men harbor all the blame.…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 05:29 PM
0

Update: When you start dating. I have a funny feeling even though she has someone, she will still freak out.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 12:25 AM
1

Playstation 4 can not play Yoshi's World!
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 12:20 AM
1

Your story sounds just like one of my old military buddies. He started a transport company, and his security clearance allowed some pretty good contracts. When his kids were off to college, his wife decided to get an advanced degree. She basically became a Sugar-Momma to a guy two years younger than her eldest son. The company had too many employees to break it up. They settled for him, paying off the house, giving it to her. Half of their assets, and then he gave her half of his assets. She als…
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 01:20 AM
9

Lawyer up. She has been sleeping with her classmate for probably three years now. Odds are he is young or not as successful as you. A downward monkey branch. If she's telling you her plans, her lawyer has told her that there's nothing you can do. Taking fifty percent of joint assets is proof that she is following lawyers' orders. Get out of your feelings and lawyer up. She is six months to a year ahead of you. Can't be sure until you have to pay the bills.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 12:49 AM
1

Find out who the other guy is, and then maybe you can have a normal divorce. At sixty-five, she should be afraid of being alone. There's another man. If I had to put money on it, it's a long-time friend of both of you. This level of disrespect requires you to take your ego up ten notches. Stop discussing your divorce with your friends. That information goes directly to your ex. You being weak and broken validates her decision to leave a weak and broken man. It let's her know that she can leave, …
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 05:27 PM
2

Odds are some guy has given her the tingles. Kids hinder that hot girl summers. If she really wanted to see your apartment first, she would have taken the kids home if you refused.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 04:19 PM
0

That GAL gave your daughter a statistical advantage in life. Single mothers want custody even though they fail in every category when it comes to raising children.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/23 01:09 AM
0

I hope you kept receipts on renovations. Including what you charge as a contractor. Divorce is coming. The best you can do is protect yourself legally and build an unbreakable bond with your children. Surprise them with summer vacations. Money is no object. By the time she pulls the trigger, your kids should be undeniable that you are the best dad ever. Most men wasted time trying to win back the woman. The children should be your only focus.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 06:02 PM
3

Not with today woman's delusional state. They are looking up to Lizzo.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 11:08 PM
1

After you talk with a lawyer, your marriage and the divorce are a math problem. Run the numbers and do what is best for you.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 05:52 PM
8

Nobody told you? You were supposed to suffer and leave the door open so she could monkey branch back. It was amicable because she had a backup plan. You being in a serious relationship is not in the plan.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 04:49 PM
3

I was in your shoes three years ago. She was never disrespectful. But she created these narratives in her head about what I wasn't doing. Drove me nuts. I was pretty much at the end of my rope. Then she made the mistake of telling my mother in law she was thinking of leaving me. Her mother read her the riot act. Told my "I promise you you can not do better. When my wife tried to tell her, she didn't know our marriage. My mother in law told her she didn't have to live with us to see how well adju…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 10:53 PM
1

If she cheated, sex with her would say you are okay with it.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 03:13 PM
1

Nobody wants to run into their at the movies or grocery store. Without children in the equation, moving is the best way to get over a break up. It also prevents you from changing your mind after he has moved on. Let's be honest most women marry the best they can get. Unless he turned into a raging ass he is still a good guy. Don't be surprised when you see him again he's giving someone else your best life possible. Divorce is a great motivator.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 07:50 PM
2

A few years back, I considered divorce. Had a settlement drawn and was ready to sign. My wife knew we were at the brink and was scared. I didn't want to throw seventeen years away, but the longer the marriage, the more you pay. My wife wasn't perfect, but she knew how to respect her man. People looked at her like an alien at barbecues; she would bring me a plate and adrink. Something I thought every wife did. In the end, respect from a woman is more important than love. We marry these women, and…
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 01:14 PM
1

I actually said the words, "You are size twelve, and our daughters are a seven tell him as long as he likes big girls he's going to be alright.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 07:28 PM
1

So basically, you are leaving because you are unhappy. Is this a new thing? Go through her phone like everyone else. You don't get to leave a damn good mother for suspicion. Men have never been promised happiness. Twenty years the most I got was contentment. When we bumped against the brink, the reason I withdrew the divorce papers was that she was a damn good mother. Three years later, I'm still riding the contentment train. I don't know why more men before they ask for marriage lay down the co…
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 06:06 PM
1

TLDR-all of it. She gaged you for a reaction, and you didn't stand up for yourself. You didn't even prepare yourself for future relationships. If you would have laid down the law and left. Future women would have to respect that you would leave. Fuck love because without respect it's an empty promise. No person who doesn't respect you enough to think they shouldn't respect you should be in your life.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 04:23 PM
1

My friend raised his son on his own. Then he let her baby trap him into his daughter a few years after divorce. She raised her, but she was still in the Navy. So, he had her most of the time. Crazy thing was that she took the child support when she had their daughter. She never paid for him raising their son or when he had the daughter for more than a year. Crazy thing was he probably would have paid more to keep the government out of it.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 08:37 PM
26

Half of men never get the real reason she wants a divorce. Women can easily be cruel but can't hold themselves accountable. I'm bet guilt for the true reason she is ruining your lives.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 09:20 PM
3

Yesterday, I went into a post glorifying a hoe phase after divorce. A bunch of forty something women glorifying being passed around by twenty something men. My every thought was hilarious, but I knew if I commented, I would get banned.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 09:13 PM
8

If she is asking now, she's been talking about six months to a year. If not friends, a lawyer. There's a playbook. Plan for divorce. No woman wants to leave if her lifestyle drops. Numbers have been run. Divorced friends come together as a think tank. After she is done with the planning process, she then drops the bomb. After which, while you wallow in pity, she has you served. Talk to an attorney and lean into divorce. Find your confidence and never let her see you weak. They thrive off of your…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 12:51 AM
1

Some guy at the resort showed interest in her. Leaving early is basically giving her a girl's vacation; without the girlfriend's to someday tell on her.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 07:53 PM
1

Stay at home mom gets a job. Then, all of a sudden, it gets disrespectful and wants a divorce. Did you leave out the coworker on purpose? At thirty-five, you are young enough to start again. You are living in the social media generation. Sadly, this is what marriage today looks like.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/23 05:26 PM
7

Men think you should only leave for what she's done. Women leave because they are not happy. The real question is, can you live with the person who you have to become to stay?
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/23 01:36 PM
1

I had to make sure I was in Divorce-men subreddit before I answered you. I don't mind the no-fault divorce. People want out of marriage fine. The problem is support. I think if the norm was 50/50, custody without support; divorce rate would drop by half. The true problem is forcing people to supplement the lives of people who choose not to be with their benefactor. Women initiate divorce eighty percent of the time. I wonder how many of them would divorce without the guarantee of forty percent of…
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/23 08:50 PM
1

Talk to a lawyer and follow their advice. Once your lawyer says it's time to serve her. Let her know that you are accepting no blaim. You will publish the text if necessary. By this time, you should have found apathy. Apathy is your friend. You are just getting done what needs to happen. Make her tell the kids, and it has to be a kid friendly version of the truth. She will only treat you like you, allowing her to treat you. From henceforth, she should only treat you like you don't take bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/23 05:51 PM
5

I don't know if this will help you. People in your life are wants versus needs equation. Few men are allowed the luxury of wants. The way I look at it after men procreate, the need for women decreases tremendously. Giving birth is the only need a man can't have without a woman. With your primal need, take care of the need for your wife is psychological. Change the way you think, and you can change your world. I didn't get divorced. When I did the math , I realized what I needed. Instead of my wa…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 04:54 PM
2

Post this in the Divorce subreddit. The women there will be more agreeable with this post.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 01:55 PM
6

Not everyone who hurts you cares!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 12:24 AM
3

Alamogordo is a one horse town, so dating was a challenge. El Paso, on the other hand, had a great dating market. Austin is also great for single guys. Texas military friendly.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/23 09:44 PM
3

I was stationed a Tonopah, and I transferred to Holloman within two months.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/23 09:33 PM
16

Once, after I found out my girlfriend was cheating on me. I transferred from Vegas to New Mexico. The quality of women wasn't better, but the peace of mind was worth it. She was trying to get back with me, so removing the possibility of seeing her was priceless.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/23 09:04 PM
1

Trust me as soon as another dick touches her she's tainted to me.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 11:34 PM
1

She has had time to see what is out there. You are probably way higher in value than any man she can get at her age and life experience. Throw in the fact that Red Pill is on the rise. It's scary as it should be for divorced women over thirty. Make her work if she's ever getting you back. Make sure she knows that leaving she is in control. Getting back together is under your terms.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 11:24 PM
8

I never thought my mother in law liked me until I served my wife. My wife was confident she was going to divorce and bounce right back. Her mother called her a fool. She actually told my wife I was the best she could get. She reminded her that in her forties with children in tow, she was not the catch she was when she married me. Then she dropped the bomb. She said I never noticed all the women checking me out in church. I did notice, but I keep promises. My wife did a one-eighty. Three years la…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/23 05:01 PM
1

If the wedding is for the bride. The marriage should be for both of you. We get lost in marriage trying to get along. It's important to make your voice heard early in the marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 04:45 PM
3

If she was cheating, I would have left. Most women fail to realize their situation. Her mother reminded her that she was closing in on fifty. She put on thirty pounds after the children, and I still looked at her as a prize. My mother in law is popular in her church. She gets to see women being discarded after divorce. She didn't want that for her daughter. Some men live by principle. If my wife worshiped a man, I deemed unworthy of sharing my wife, I would view her as trash. Trust me, there is …
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 04:38 PM
8

She only wanted a separation. To take youngest children three thousand miles across country. I went to our lawyer and had a favorable to her settlement. To me, separation is in the same realm as open marriage. I don't believe in either, so I opted for divorce. I know where my switches are in my brain, so I turned to apathy. To me, people who do things to hurt you don't deserve to see your emotions. Basically, I wasn't conforming to the narratives she created. I showed her that I would always sta…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 01:01 AM
11

The thing about the player thing is that it makes you confident about women. When my wife told me she wanted to separate; I leaned into divorce so hard she questioned if I loved her. I remember telling her I love you, but I don't need anyone. Men have few days to be happy in marriage. Most of our marriage we settle in contentment. I decided that if I couldn't be content because of her decision. I would settle for peace. I think she was using the separation as a punishment. When she saw how confi…
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/23 11:03 PM
1

Dude, you have control of your mind. Change your mind, and change your world. Your wife makes way more money than you, but she chose you to have those amazing girls with. That makes you pretty amazing. Ask today's women what they want in a man. The first thing out of her mouth is an income only the top one percent of can produce. I don't expect you to have my ego because it's crazy how I believe in myself.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/23 10:50 PM
2

When we took our daughter on an Ivy League college tour, you know what we didn't see a lot of? Single parents! Children need a male parental influence. I was in your position for a year. Couldn't handle her being the breadwinner. So I went out and got an overnight job. That forced me to stop drinking. Then, I started working my way up. There were a lot of promotions I didn't want. I think my kids are amazing because they have two parents. We went through a lot. Almost got divorced. When she aske…
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/23 10:31 PM
2

You do know one in ten births is father not expected.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/23 04:14 AM
3

No, we would self correct. Marriage hasn't been a good deal for men since the sixties. Right now, men are walking away from marriage. Either courts make divorce fair, or men shut down a multi-billion dollar industry. David Bridal was the first domino to fall. How many jewelry stores have to close before the court addresses the law industry cash cow.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/23 04:00 AM
1

I live my life like it's a play. I am the main character, and everyone else is expendable. You can not add value to my life if you don't want to be in it. Day one; I choose me. I don't believe in pedestals. No one is allowed to think I can't live without them. Do I grieve the loss? Yes, but she doesn't deserve to see.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 11:11 PM
10

I would tell her he chose where he wanted to be. In reality, the Brady bunch rarely works. Dad has a big house, and no other children to play second fiddle to. If she wants to pull rank, let her. By the time he is fourteen, your son will hate her. He will try to destroy any relationship she is in. As soon as she says, "Give up something so one of the steps can have some fun." You don't really have to do anything. Just wait. My friend was in your situation. He kept the family home and brought her…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 10:59 PM
6

I believe paternity tests should be done at every birth. But if she cheated, I don't care when. A paternity test is required. I wouldn't care if the if kids looked like me or if I just paid for college. Trust requires the truth. How can you trust again when you are not one hundred percent certain of the truth.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 09:41 PM
1

Simple question: Does she brush her teeth as soon as she gets home, or does she think her kisses without brushing her teeth are reward enough? She's dealing with drug addicts. What are the odds he isn't leaving her with a load? Telling her to kiss your husband for me. I got angry enough to go nuclear just reading this post. You need to lose your wife and your nice guy attitude. The red pill isn't for everyone, but you may heed a dose.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 07:35 PM
2

Check your State's milestones for forever marriages. If you only have to pay ten years of alimony, why pay forever?
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/23 08:03 PM
2

Sit down and have an adult conversation. Figure out what works best for both of you. Maybe an open marriage. People will be quick to tell you to leave, but unraveling a twenty-four year marriage can be a nightmare. I mean, if you are okay with selling your house and splitting the assets, leave. Sometimes, they like being a roommate. Good luck. However, it goes.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/23 08:57 PM
3

I loved her, but I didn't need her. I hope she is happy, because she gave me peace.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/23 06:56 PM
2

This sounds like a classic FOMO. Honestly, if you have progressed as you should, you are in a better position than her on the dating market. She wanted that ring but didn't realize marriage was work. Don't be surprised if a coworker pops up. Relationships that start as affairs have a 90% fail rate. You truly need to lean into divorce. Get a lawyer and file right away. The pace in which you move should make her uncomfortable. Ask her when she is planning to move out. Short marriage with no kids s…
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/23 02:25 PM
4

If you had school-aged children, I say figure it out. You don't have children because you don't have sex. If you are going to pull the trigger, ease her into it. Because you are leaving her at the wall that all women hit after a certain age. I have a dead-bedroom, and I have more sex in a year than twenty. Like you, if I left my wife, the main issue would be sex. For me, divorce is a math problem that doesn't add up. Mainly we have to pay for college for our children. At least give her the oppor…
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/23 11:26 PM
4

Do you mean like a fairy tale? Men are not afforded the luxury of happiness. The stress of peot
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 02:22 PM
2

If women did math or looked at statistics, this sub would not exist.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 01:41 PM
9

Tell her if in this situation she hadn't cheated, you would help her with the house. But if you go to prison, she'll lose everything too. There is no way you should pay for the house so she can move the loser in. Trust me, he's moving in as soon as you agree with her crazy. She is trying to get you to pay for two grown people to live in your house. Talk to your lawyer. Stop getting legal advice from her. She needs to get a job.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 10:59 PM
3

Don't worry. The wall is looming.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 08:55 PM
9

Women follow trends, not statistics. Even the dating apps tell them that they are looking for the same twenty percent of men. What they truly miss is they married the best they could get. Broke him and put him back on the market. Then, women complain about the dating market all the while men other women broke.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 08:12 PM
4

When they think they are straightening you out so they can be happy; they are actually pushing you away. I surprised my wife when she thought divorce was a behavior modifier. All she did was awaken the don't take bullshit guy she married. Fuck! "Happy wife, happy life." I spent the last twenty years hovering on content. Why should she be the only one to be happy?
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 11:09 PM
2

No affair? Dude, both of them had something to lose. They set things up where they find each other after their divorces. Women hate being the bad guy. Whether they had an affair or not is not important now. But her controlling everything for everyone in her life needs to stop. Especially for you. Sadly, trying to treat six kids equal is going to be a nightmare.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 09:19 PM
6

She wanted a separation, but I didn't believe in separation. So I stopped talking and had a settlement drawn. I think it was my mother in law tearing down the narratives she had built up in her mind. I was through because at some point, she started treating me like one of the kids. Chores lists and stuff I prefer to pay people for. So when I started standing up for myself, the we needed time apart came up. I think the difference between me and most in this sub is that I am hyper-confident that I…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 08:21 PM
4

My wife did a serious one eighty when faced with the papers. I'm not saying that the past three years have been easy. We've both had to learn to bite our tongue and give our grievances a beat. At fifty-six, I planned to never be in a relationship again. For some reason, women think they deserve happiness. I'm like fuck "Happy life, happy wife." Especially when most of the time I hover in contentment.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 07:12 PM
3

Asking for an open marriage is a heat check on your self-respect. They are basically asking for them to sleep with other people, and you continue to provide. It never ends well. When asked, ask yourself this question "Do I love her, or do I need her? If you don't need her, you let her go. If you are going to pay for someone who sleeps with other people. An escort costs hundreds a wife costs thousands.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 10:53 PM
40

The original poster is a horrible person. The comments make the divorce subreddit make sense. Women are so entitled in the comments. I was in the she'll never do that to me camp, this puts me the anything is possible camp.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 01:54 AM
2

He said he makes about three hundred and fifty thousand a year. He is giving her fifty thousand a year. I know no one wants to give up anything, but I could live with this. Guaranteed she'll be back hat in hand.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 01:30 AM
5

Once another man enters her, the relationship is done. I pity men respect themselves so little that they beg for a woman tainted by a lesser man.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/23 12:32 AM
7

I could live with dead bedroom. It's the nagging and her thinking she should be in charge. In all actuality, I have all the kids I want. Sex is just exercise. I gave her power of the purse, and that was the worst decision of my life
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 09:06 PM
5

Put this post in the divorce subreddit. Seriously, they call themselves feminist but their life plans are for men to supplement their lives.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 04:09 PM
1

I don't believe in separation. To many of my friends used it to fuck around. The problem is that their wives used it as a hall pass, too. My wife asked for a six month separation. I gave her the settlement I had drawn two weeks before she was set to go to her mother's house. She freaked out and asked if I still love loved her. I told her that I loved her, but I didn't need her. Actually, I was fed up with her narratives. At the time, I was working ten hours a day. She acted like our teenagers we…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 08:56 PM
1

I just looked at your profile, and as bad as it looks, now you have a lot going for you. I'm guessing you are in your late twenties, early thirties. Your life really hasn't begun. A veteran with a masters degree faces a full of opportunities. Take the energy you put into your wife and redirect to your education. You shouldn't even take women seriously until you are at least thirty-five. Find your purpose and focus all energy on it. You will have your choice of women when you are ready.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/23 11:09 PM
3

I think that today's marriage is doomed because women marry a leader but want to lead. My marriage went from cruise control to the brink. One day, she was ranting about some narratives she made up. I found myself trying to keep the peace. At that point, I had an epiphany. She could leave, but I was no longer going to take shit. The more I took command, the more she got in line. The dynamics of a can be off. Marriage softens men. We take a lot to get along. Next thing you know, everything is her …
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 09:31 PM
4

Why can't these women go to the guys house. Do these losers live with their wife or their mothers? I understand immediately jumping back into the dating market. Most of them are past their expiration dates. But you will respect my house while I'm still there. Tell her you don't have a problem with her dating, but until you leave the house you paid for, she needs to respect you. She is trying to emasculate you. God forbid you have success in divorce. These women will stay in the marriage ten year…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 08:25 PM
4

It sounds to me like a lot of men don't check their woman at the beginning of the relationship and can not check after marriage. Happy wife, happy life. Condemns men into its cheaper to keep her. If you are not giving an opportunity to have your opinions. I refused to be my wife's child.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/23 06:46 PM
1

If he's looking for the benefit of family, he's a fool. Your ex already proved that she can leave a man. If he gets attached to your boys, she can take them away. At fifty-seven, I'd rather be alone than dealing with single mothers.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 11:54 PM
1

The internet is your answer. Odds are they knew each other way longer than you think. Do a background check, especially if you have daughters. Require one before your ex takes the kids. If she is not on board, take it up with your lawyer. There are predators that prey on single mothers to get to their children.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 11:46 PM
1

I would use the fact that she is already living like she is single or is in another relationship to guilt-trip her into a painless divorce. But this way, you have to let her know divorce is on its way.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 11:39 PM
2

In marriage, men survive in contentment. Only women require happiness. I try not to go red pill, but feminism is worse. Stop arguing with her about things that make no sense. She gets to do whatever she wants. You get to pay for it. Keep yourself in a position where you can easily detach from her. Feminist see marriage as prison. Do not become her jailer. I wouldn't have children with a woman like this. Just imagine her views being imprinted on impressional children.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 10:11 PM
4

You are on a path to figuring out the key to life. Love no one more than yourself. You can love a woman as much as you can, another person but never more than you. You are the main character in your life. Everyone else is expendable. Allow people in your life by the value they add. Someone who doesn't want to be in your life can not value. Are you sure she deleted Instagram? The average woman would choose Instagram over family. Not that it matters, but it's more likely she opened an account unde…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 09:23 PM
7

Your social economic situation will make your divorce different than most in this sub. Add to the fact that you don't have children; divorce is just an avenue to be single again. You seem as though divorce was your choice, or you are cool either way. Keep that apathy it will fuel you through divorce. Oh, keep away from her social media. Women socials are how they wish life to be. I'm guessing right now she wishes you are a loser that forced her divorce you.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 08:50 PM
1

Women today are acting like divorce is a punishment. They make all of these Tic-Tok videos of dating after thirty-five. Their only joy in divorce is watching their ex fail along with them. I say men should fake confidence until they get there. She should feel like she made a mistake.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 07:06 PM
1

There was no backup guy when my wife said it. I leaned into divorce so confidently my wife did a one-eighty. That and my mother in law telling her that she was a fool to leave me in her forties. She told her about all the women over thirty-five in her church constantly getting ghosted after divorce. She asked my wife if she thought I was happy in marriage. I wasn't I was content with all of the trains being on the right tracks. I only stayed in my marriage because it was best for me, but when sh…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 06:18 PM
1

How could paying for the surgery be a moot point? You paid for her confidence to take her clothes off in front of another man. If you are like me, 100 percent of your salary goes to the household. When the court told her she would only get thirty percent of my income. She almost fainted. For a guy who was getting four hundred a month of the seven grand, I bought home. In the end, she decided to work on herself.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 04:48 PM
3

She thinks she settled for you? Does she think her value on the dating market has gone up or down? The wall is waiting for her, and the wall is undefeated for thirty something single mothers. Just sit back and document everything. Between her dating and adjusting to budgeting, I'm sure you will see more of your children than you think.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 10:30 PM
8

The wall is tall, and winter is coming.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 09:53 PM
3

Never pay for the next man's surgery. If they want to augment their body; they need to fund it. Have you ever picked up your kids? I'm always being checked out, dropping off the kids. Most of us have way more money and nicer cars than we had when we got married.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 09:51 PM
1

Make the payments and hope some fool marries her or leave the support as an anvil over her head. She can't remarry or live with someone without taking her hand out of your pocket.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 08:25 PM
2

The price you put on your dignity shows the man you are.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 07:26 PM
2

I had the luxury of knowing I wouldn't lose more than I was already paying. I made six figures, and I was giving my full salary to the household. I live off my VA benefits, and I save most of that. I had the bonus of her making six figures, too. I just felt that if I were to lose, I would do it with my dignity intact.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 07:23 PM
6

Since women divorce eighty percent of the time, I'm starting to believe it is on a lot of their to-do list from high school.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 11:05 PM
2

There is only one reason a woman would work this hard to remove a man from his house. Guy number two is ready to move in.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 10:01 PM
28

Marriage softens men. The you that she married twenty years ago has had all the sharp edges smoothed. She respected the you who would call her on her bullshit. The "Yes Dear" guy nobody respects. She can create a narrative that you know isn't true. After a while, you start to believe it. My wife was so set in her delusion that it took my mother in law to tell her she was making a mistake. Then again, I didn't do what most men in this sub do. When she mentioned separation, I told her I didn't bel…
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 08:49 PM
5

Dude, only crazy women leave marriage as a single mother in her forties. I'm not saying there aren't a lot of crazy women out there, but your wife seems normal. Baring an affair, I doubt she is going anywhere.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 07:06 PM
1

This seems like one of those scams where the body shop over charges your insurance company and gives you a grand after repairs.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/23 11:58 PM
1

The two years she lied to you, did you pay the lions share of the bills? Would you have paid the lions share if you knew of the affair? She basically was stealing from you. The odds are her affair partner makes about what she makes. Even if she gets with him, she's looking at a fifty grand hit. That's the difference of affording your neighborhood and something less desirable. Next time she complains about what you are taking from her; suggest that next time she should cheat up. Then, remind her …
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 08:16 PM
3

Women require happiness. Men can survive in contentment. It's impossible for a man to be happy when his wife is miserable. Social media has women thinking that they are missing out. That makes them think that they can do better. Which is ironic because most women marry the best they can get. Worse, Western civilization has created a system where women are rewarded in divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 11:02 PM
1

Worse, they are fucking kids up. They ask to leave and want the children for support. Then, their parenting style ruins the children. Single mothers are over fifty percent of every negative metric of raising children.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 09:04 PM
3

Men stop making the mistake of loving a woman more than anything. Do you want to live a live a life of peace? Never love anyone, or anything more than yourself. Live in a way that everyone else is expendable. They are only allowed in your life by the value they add. I love my wife, but never more than myself. I am the main character in my life; everyone else is expendable. They all can be written out.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 07:58 PM
2

The thing about ex-wives, there are factors into how we feel about them. If they gave us children, they would always have a place in our hearts. Men normally only leave when the level of disrespect is intolerable. Women by nature can never admit they are wrong. This makes the odds of a marriage healing after divorce are very low. The reason he seems to have a connection is that men do not like failure. Divorce is the biggest failure. If there is a chance of fixing the biggest failure of our live…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/23 07:10 PM
7

I wouldn't care what kind of house I could afford if I got to walk out of the marital home kids in tow. I would rather build my empire from scratch than let my children be raised by a single mother with the dysfunctional relationships that follow.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/23 07:58 PM
1

I don't believe in all of the Red Pill bullshit, but it seems like it would do you some good.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/23 05:01 PM
1

Whoever makes the decision, it's their responsibility. The kids are going to ask why. Most of the time, men don't know the why.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 08:41 PM
4

The key to love is loving yourself. Then, I love people by the value they add. Everyone in your life should be expendable at the point that they don't respect you or don't make your life happier. You are the main character in your life. The only person who has to be in your life. When my wife asked for a separation, I turned my emotions off. I had them, but she didn't deserve to see them. The crazy thing is that when I stood up for myself, she back-tracked. All of a sudden, she didn't want a div…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 06:56 PM
1

I'll give her six weeks before all the money is gone.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/23 05:11 PM
1

Edit: she cheated, so you can't trust her.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 05:24 PM
1

Can you afford it, and do you think there's a possibility of an amicable divorce. Sometimes, what you don't pay for costs you the most. She has the card and still asked you first. That should count for something. Maybe you can work out a payment plan.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 05:22 PM
4

They don't need you; they need your money. Divorce gives them that.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/23 07:52 PM
24

You know divorce is happening, and now you know why. Lean into it. Tell your wife the faster you get divorced, the faster she can be with her boyfriend. Custody should be your main concern. Let her know that nothing moves forward until custody is agreed. Instead of being upset, she was cheating. Hope that she wants to get married to AP. Use that as leverage to keep her hands off your money. Marriages that start off as affairs fail at a rate of seventy-five percent. Run with the narrative that yo…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 05:27 PM
2

You have all the evidence that you deserve a divorce, yet you are giving her the privilege of divorcing you? Get a lawyer and lean into divorce. She should feel like you are severing a burden. Oh! She is cheating on you.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 05:06 PM
1

Why couldn't you pull up the cell phone bill and see what number she calls the most. Then, do a Google search for the number. Tell her his wife called you, and is leaving him.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 12:34 AM
10

My wife freaked out upon me, handing her the settlement. To her credit, she did a one-eighty. No more narratives about how much I wasn't helping. Three years later, we are still together. I was apathetic, so I could have gone either way. The look on her face when I told her that I loved her but I didn't need her was priceless. They think they are our whole world. Every now and then, we need to remind them that we can build a new world.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 08:51 PM
1

This is unimaginable to me. I would kill myself before I could respect myself so little. She needs to be ghosted when the rent is due. You need to find a job in a new city, change your number and move. Send the divorce settlement in the mail. People will only treat you like you allow them. Tell her you have done enough crazy and you are moving on.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 10:55 PM
3

I was you three years ago. She kept mentioning it, so I had a favorable settlement in her favor drawn. When she finally computed dissolution of marriage, she freaked out. All of a sudden, all the narratives about me being a bad husband stopped. I think my wife was smart enough to do the math. After twenty years, the numbers stay the same. I decided to stay. Kids are almost grown, so we can revisit in three years. I still remember the look on her face when I told her that I loved her, but I didn'…
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 08:32 PM
23

At least she came to her senses. Most women are so wrapped up in never being wrong that there's no going back. What's crazy is that most women marry the best they can get in their prime. It's crazy that they think they can do better in their thirties with two kids in tow. She expects you to take her back after the Tinder slam and ghost. I remember telling my wife that the moment another man enters her, there's no going back.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 12:56 AM
3

There is no way you can take her back and maintain any level of self and dignity. The pure level of disrespect she has for you is unsurmountable. As a man who juggled five or more women. Sex is always the first thing on the menu. You can pinpoint when they first had sex to the date the narratives started. You don't do enough. Is the motto for wives in affairs. Somewhere in our marriages we stop fucking and start making love. This leaves the door open for any hard dick to fuck her brains out. She…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 08:06 PM
1

You are being set up for a classic "Copy and Paste." She has to dirty you up and have the whole family mad at you. This way, when she introduces the coworker who's the love of her life; she won't look like the home wrecking cheater she is. Find the affair partner; out the affair, and she will back off.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 09:58 PM
8

Twenty-one months plus a long-term affair equals a paternity test. Fuck removing her from your house, you may have the opportunity to remove her from your life.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 02:54 PM
2

Google. A study by Annie E Casey Foundation should come up.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/23 07:20 PM
2

What's crazy to me? Statistics of children raised in single mother homes are at their highest in all the worst categories. Drugs, incarceration, homelessness, and institutionalization are all highest in single mothers' homes. While single father homes, all of those same statistics are on par with two parent homes.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/23 06:04 PM
1

Be unreasonable; it seems like she is trying to copy and paste you with someone who can't afford your lifestyle. If she was cheating up, she wouldn't ask you for nothing. Don't make a bunch of concessions to only find your divorce was for a coworker or delivery guy. This is your new motto "DIVORCE COMES AT A PRICE, AND I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE PAYING FOR IT. " She wants it. Let her know you will spend every penny to make her pay. She painted you as a nice guy who will go along with everything she w…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/23 04:27 PM
2

Be unreasonable; it seems like she is trying to copy and paste you with someone who can't afford your lifestyle. If she was cheating up, she wouldn't ask you for nothing. Don't make a bunch of concessions to only find your divorce was for a coworker or delivery guy. This is your new motto "DIVORCE COMES AT A PRICE, AND I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE PAYING FOR IT. " She wants it. Let her know you will spend every penny to make her pay. She painted you as a nice guy who will go along with everything she w…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/23 04:27 PM
2

When I was in the military, I got cheated and took an assignment two hours away. Not worrying about seeing her with someone new was the greatest relief. Until followed me. By that time, I was over her, so no going back
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 07:46 PM
2

When your lawyer says to take it knowing he's going to lose billable hours; you take it. Eight grand for never paying child support again take it. Most women are fighting for custody to increase child support; your Ex is giving you dream custody. You better take this deal. Six figures in New Jersey is not like Six figures in the rest of the country. The money you are getting ready to waste on lawyers could be better used in other facets of your life.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/23 11:30 PM
12

The first husband changes to keep her in his life. Women rarely like the SIMP he has to become to live with her. The second husband rarely makes changes to himself to fit in. She makes all the changes and will work harder to be with him to make it worth the sacrifices she made.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/23 08:02 PM
12

Delusional This Bitch Thinks She Can Do Better At Her Age
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 08:03 PM
1

Is it me or did anyone else read a post a few days ago about a guy thinking about getting out there, and meeting a lawyer who showed interest? He was coming out of a divorce, and she had a previous marriage. The reason she left was that her ex had a condition that put his children at risk. It all came out when she lost a child. OP was interested but she thought he was still having issues from his divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/23 02:49 PM
2

Give her more than usual, but way less than she's asking. Set the bar and never go over it. If there is any spousal support make sure your lawyer caps it at two years. Make sure her adult life starts now.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/23 04:59 PM
5

Nurse+graveyard almost means at least one affair. I know this is stereotyping but it is so stereotypical.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/23 03:17 PM
2

She wants to be divorced, and you to treat her like your wife without the sex. Get a parenting app, and cut contact as much as possible. If you need to interact treat her like a subordinate.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/23 12:28 AM
1

My wife makes twenty thousand less than me. No alimony, and since I already pay for our eldest college means no child support for the other two. I think that is why she chose to stay.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/23 12:20 AM
2

I'll go with this with a simple caveat. Single mothers have a great part in this generation of weak men. Too many think how they love their mothers is how you are supposed to love women. With my parents, I knew what respect from a woman looked like. If my mother wanted to leave my father he would show her the door. When my wife asked for a separation I gave her a divorce settlement. She freaked out and asked did I love her. I said I loved her, but didn't need her. She asked me how can I let her …
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 10:21 PM
4

It's actually how I saved my marriage. I flipped the choose myself switch so fast it freaked her out. Essentially I told her I love her, but I don't need her. When we think about it we never need them.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 04:25 AM
8

It's that real-estate trick. She sees a house she wants and prevents it from being on the market. You seem like a relationship guy so I know that this is happening. My only advice is never to love anyone more than you. You can love a woman as much as any other person, but never more than you. That is too much power to give to anyone.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/23 11:15 PM
5

Don't overlook she could be trying to leave the back door open for a return. Having an affair with a coworker is exciting until they have to date them. Most men over thirty are gun-shy, and realistically most women marry the best they can get. Make sure all of your branches are so retracted no monkey can come back.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/23 08:51 PM
2

So with the lack of intimacy, and dealing with their manipulation we are supposed to do it pent-up. My rule is two weeks of no sex equals porn. Women are so locked into Instagram they forget we have needs. Your opinions may be more suited for the Divorce subreddit.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/23 05:52 PM
6

She has proven she's in the streets as soon as she doesn't get her way. All the things that were giving you anxiety she has proven you had a right to be concerned.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/23 05:32 PM
1

You let go of her by choosing yourself. You love but you don't need her. That realization gave me so much confidence that I leaned into a divorce so hard my wife did a one-eighty. I think she was trying to humble me, and when that backfired she wanted no part of the divorce. I love my wife as much as I can love another person, but never more than myself. Someone who doesn't want to be in your life can no longer add value. Choose yourself and treat her like the woman you are divorcing. Go get a l…
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/23 11:29 PM
7

People will only treat you like you allow them to treat you. You are letting her treat you like shit. You would be amazed how powerful saying "Who the fuck do you think you are talking to?" If you don't normally curse it makes it more profound.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/23 11:39 PM
3

I went to our lawyer and had a lopsided agreement for her drawn. Someone who doesn't want to be with me cannot add value to my life.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/23 01:22 PM
5

Women require happiness; men only need to be contentment. I don't think you are unhappy; you just can't find peace in it. Tell her how you feel, and see if she changes. I didn't think women can change. My wife did after I handed her the settlement. The last three years might be the best of our marriage. She now allows me to lead without question. For the first seventeen years, I went along with everything. Happy wife happy life, or so I thought. They need you to lead. If a woman doesn't allow yo…
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/23 02:21 AM
1

My therapist had me chronicle my day. It gave her an open window to my anxiety and depression. I got as graphic as I could get. One day I had to pull over for a panic attack. It started with my heart racing, then I got dizzy. By the time I parked and rolled the window down for air, I had vertigo. From that description, she changed the breathing technique and that helped me reduce anxiety before it gets into a panic attack. I had been trying to explain what I wrote for months.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 08:55 PM
1

You sound like you are walking away with nothing, but the prize is you. Do you ever wonder why women don't leave guys that seem like assholes? Because they don't allow a woman to mold them from the man she wanted into a man she can leave. Don't confuse happiness with contentment. There's no way you are happy with her asking for a divorce. Change the way you look at this and you could change your whole world. Try seeing some positively. Oh, if she wasn't good enough for him back then; she is not …
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 07:24 PM
1

She made an adult decision. Her health/ health care, she should have factored in. She had nineteen years to soften you up. You are not who you want to be; you are what you need to be, to be with her. You are not scared of losing her; you are afraid of life without the program you needed to be with her. You love her, but you don't need her. When you find out what this is really about you will probably hate her. You can't see it; I know she can't see it, but she is doing you a favor. Getting out a…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 04:37 PM
3

I've been there. She wanted me to get a second job because she over-indulged my daughter's sweet-sixteen party. She made the mistake of telling her friend's husband drives uber to make ends meet. I told to fuck her friend and her husband too. I told her that her friends' husband wasn't worthy of shining my shoes. Then I didn't say anything for more than a month. I had our lawyer draw up a favorable to her settlement. When I gave it to her signed she had a freakout. I was cordial for about a mont…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 08:52 PM
1

There were other factors. My wife never went to pick up because of her job; she went with me one day and saw how soccer moms fanned around me. I sent her one of those hilarious YouTube videos of women in their forties hitting the wall. Finally, I told her I wouldn't be friends with someone I divorced. I think most women marry the best they can get. My wife realized that divorce as a punishment wouldn't work because I'd be just fine. She also overestimated how much of my money she would get. The …
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 01:15 AM
7

I wonder if any men in this sub noticed that their wives married you, and are divorcing the man she molded you into? Men don't require happiness in marriage. We survive in contentment. Think of all the times you forfeit your happiness for hers. This path leads to this subreddit. When you stopped standing up for yourself, she starts to lose respect for you. It took me reminding my wife that I loved her, but I didn't need her; to snap her out of the micro-aggressions and manipulation. I know this …
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 06:44 PM
7

This! Change your mind and change your world. Divorce is freeing yourself from all of the manipulative narratives she used to mold you into a man she can't respect. Divorce is instead of giving all of your earnings, adjusting to giving her thirty-five percent. Do you know what happened when I allowed myself to become at peace with the divorce, and leaned into it; my wife changed? I gave her a favorable to her settlement, and she balked. As soon as I got rid of that happy wife; happy life nonsens…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 06:15 PM
5

When women ask for an open marriage or FWB they are already seeing someone. She only sees OP as financial support. Plus these requests are a heat check. She is trying to see just how much he will allow himself to be cuckolded. Think about the boldness of these requests; if a woman had any respect for her man she would at least offer him an MFF threesome. This woman is trying to friend-zone her husband five years into marriage. OP needs to worry about marriage milestones that factor into divorce.…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 04:32 PM
1

How can you love anyone if you feel you are not worthy of most of your love? Do you think it is selfless to love someone by how they make you look? I love people by the value they add to my life. Someone who doesn't want to be in your life cannot add value. Putting yourself first is not selfish; it's logical.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/23 08:34 PM
1

I get therapy for military issues. That is where I got "You are the main character in your life. " when your life is following orders and being selfless you need to be told it's okay to love yourself the most. I love my life as much as I can love another person but I don't love anyone more than me. I find that logical.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/23 08:26 PM
6

This is a classic copy and paste. Guys most of the time a woman will not leave you without a backup. Normally it's a coworker. Now the coworker rarely can afford the lifestyle you provide, so women hit you with; I love you, but I'm not in love with you. This allows her to be the victim because she needs you to supplement their new best life. When they ask for divorce; lean into it the first time. At worst they leave you with some dignity. Fight to give them the bare minimum; at this point, you a…
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/23 08:17 PM
5

As one of those guys who never had a problem letting go; my secret is I always choose me. I'm the main character in my life. I only allow people who contribute value. Someone who doesn't want to be in my life cannot add value.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/23 02:01 PM
12

No woman wants the soft weak version of you. Seems like you already tried begging, and what did that bring you maybe more disrespect? How are you going to protect a woman if you can't stand up to your woman? I doubt she wants to start over in her forties, but she needs a challenge and you are too heartbroken to give her that. What I'm about to tell you will sound crazy, but if it fails at least you walk away with some dignity. Here's the crazy part; lean into divorce. If possible have the papers…
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/23 03:34 AM
5

Did you consider yourself a six before you got married? Because you are old enough to be established and should earn enough to provide. These are qualities that up your ranking. Most men in your age range are in the no-relationship camp. So if you offer a hint of a relationship you can have your pick. The question is how much baggage are you willing to deal with this time around? If you are going to date divorced women I'd avoid those who left. Unless her husband had an affair or was abusive I'd…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 11:04 PM
1

She is trying to friend-zone you. Get a co-parenting app and only have contact about the child. Trust me the manipulation will become worse than the lying.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 10:18 PM
4

Trust me it's far better that you find out before two kids and a mortgage. I know the heartbreak feels the same, but you are far better off financially. You should cut contact. Women normally try to friend-zone you, to keep you as a backup plan if their Ho-phase backfires. I suggest a move; it makes breakups a lot easier. Cuts out the anxiety of hoping not to run into them. Do not be surprised if she is in a new relationship within weeks.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 10:09 PM
7

"I'm not interested in a relationship with you or any other guy!" Guy! Is it possible that the relationship is with a woman? You snooped looking for a man. Did it occur to you to check messages between her and a female? Now it doesn't matter if she's seeing someone else. Your concern should be getting her to get a job, and preparing for divorce. The longer you wait the more you pay.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 11:13 PM
4

Check the phone bill, and start paying attention to her interactions with male neighbors. Seems to me she's seeing a married man, but he's not leaving his wife. She loves the lifestyle you provide, but she wants to be faithful to him. If you have a neighbor who works the night shift or doesn't work. I'm guessing as soon as you and this man's wife go to work they play house.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 10:41 PM
2

The problem with sending a resentful woman into the workforce; are coworkers.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 05:30 PM
2

I see it as whatever is making her run is far worse than she wants you to see her. Let her keep her image, and take the olive branch. I think any judge will see through her story, and not want to break her veil. I've seen how women are treated in the Middle East. Even in Saudi Arabia or the UAE, she is giving up a lot of women's rights. The only thing that makes sense is she doesn't want you to know her true reason for leaving you. If you love her let her go.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 05:02 PM
4

She may show confidence, but everything she's doing seems like guilt. 45k may go a long way in the country she is fleeing to. Her country may also frown upon a woman keeping a man's children away from him. The fact that she trusts you to raise her children speaks volumes about she sees your character. For your sake, I hope everything goes the way she wants it to go. Remember she knows everything, and you know what she tells you. Seems like she is looking out for you.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 04:41 PM
1

Men are already on the path to marriage. The percentage of men in the never marry camp is on the rise. As for spousal support; here's a novel idea get a job before you file for divorce. The only time there should be spousal support is when the high earner leaves a SAHM. No one should have the supplement the life of someone who promises to stay with them and leaves. People should be held accountable for their decisions. If someone decides to be a teacher and leaves a finance husband for a princip…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 04:04 PM
1

You should wake up every morning with a smile on your face. I know you are getting divorced are twenty-five, you shouldn't have gotten married until you were thirty-five. If you decide to marry again you will be smart enough not to build pedestals. You will be smart enough to realize you are the main character in your life. Everyone else is expendable. Even with the financial hit, you are about to take you have not reached peak money-earning years. In ten years she will be kicking herself for no…
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/23 11:25 PM
5

Congratulations. I hope she prepared herself for this day.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 12:38 AM
1

Divorce should be hard. Yes, there were other factors such as the equal rights bill, and women entering the workforce. There should be penalties for someone destroying a marriage. What incentives for men to marry in today's society? He assumes all the risk and no reward. If the government eliminated support the divorce rate could be cut in half. No person should be forced to contribute to another adult's life. Especially they are not together.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 06:17 PM
10

Do you know that the divorce rate was two percent before they created no-fault divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 09:32 PM
15

Women that are breadwinners tend to come into this because they need it. Leaving them to the Divorce subreddit is just mean.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 08:50 PM
5

Most of the time it only looks like they found someone new fast. Half the time that person they found so fast is the real reason for the divorce. My friend didn't find out his wife was cheating until three years after the divorce. He was still giving her money until he found out.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 02:36 AM
3

At 57 all it took was realizing I loved her, but I didn't need her. After she takes half of what you build to live with a coworker; it will help with you falling out of love. Love is energy you don't turn it off unless you have somewhere else to put it. Another shoe will drop. Don't worry women will never admit to anything that makes them look bad.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 02:51 AM
3

She waited until the twenty years mark for a reason. She waited to get maximum support, and for you to have to pay it for the rest of her life. Odds are the guy she has been cheating on you with can't afford the lifestyle you provide. Don't be surprised if she keeps the house, and moves a coworker in within three months. If this happens she's been cheating for at least three years. Get a PI, and find proof. It may not help but it can make all the difference.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 06:19 PM
23

Men need extra support because most of the time they are the ones being left. Add that to the fact that men tend to have the most to lose. Women who are getting divorced as breadwinners will be able to relate to this sub. The problem is that there are so few of them; not enough to create a sub. The Divorce subreddit is to support women who decide to divorce because they are unhappy. Men don't divorce because they are unhappy, contentment will suffice for men for the rest of their life. Our famil…
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/23 07:00 PM
14

It means she is listening to her lawyer. Get your lawyer today.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/23 09:37 PM
3

I only came in here for your title. My only goal was to stop you from turning yourself into a victim. If you didn't care about why she left you your title would never be "Dumped After 23 Years." If your title would have said, "Help me divide assets." I wouldn't have read your post.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/23 05:15 AM
-7

I just came in here to say stop being negative. She gave you the best years of her life and is letting you go spend somebody's else best years. 23 years you got every good year she has left. Remember you love her you don't need her. Women divorce for a few reasons. FOMO, or as a punishment. You cannot do anything about her thinking she thinks better is out there. But divorce as a punishment; all you have to do is show her you didn't need her. Take a cooking class. Join a gym, and find things to …
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/23 03:48 AM
1

The manipulation came to a full stop. I never believed marriage brings men happiness. Right now I'm content, and that's all I need. The fact that my wife knows everything is on the table; her demeanor changed. When I handed her the settlement I told her that I loved her, but didn't need her.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/23 01:00 AM
9

Before you divorce her stand up to her. You are letting her have all the masculine energy in your marriage take some back. Wait until the kids are out of the house and confront her. Just an "I am fed up with the last twenty years being about you." You are getting a divorce, you might as well go out like the man you couldn't be in marriage. My wife came up with these bullshit narratives that I wasn't helping her enough. I kindly reminded her she built this family in the model of her family. We se…
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/23 05:26 PM
7

, "Validation from a female?" Why would you give someone that kind of power again? The key to truly letting go is the realization that you do not need anyone. By the end, she is making you miserable. How can a woman add value to your life when she worships other men? Never allow people in your life who cannot respect you. You must respect yourself Enough that commands respect. You achieve this by cutting out disrespectful people. You not only need a divorce; you need to lean into divorce. Tell t…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/23 06:06 PM
20

You know the good thing about your parent's basement; nobody is trying to kill you there.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 11:11 PM
5

Most men who don't want to be divorced are jaded by it. The crazy thing is women who want divorce tend to find a carousel of dicks leading them right toward the wall. Most of them will be humbled. We have to change the men we are. Only men who survive the modern woman are selfish assholes. Only allow a woman in your life by the value they add to your life. The moment that you start building a pedestal you have failed, and you don't deserve a woman. They have already had a good man and fucked it …
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 06:34 PM
2

She is showing you who she is believe her. Treat her like the enemy she has proven herself to be. Find a divorced lawyer and let him take their anger out on your Ex.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 11:57 AM
4

Make her get a job before you talk divorce again. At twenty-six she should be self-efficient. Make sure she knows she is her parent's child; not yours. Listen to your lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 11:36 PM
1

It was a struggle but I got through. You are going to get requests for updates; please remember to write in paragraphs. You deserve to be angry and resentful. The only thing you can control is how you react. First, change the locks. Stop answering unknown numbers. Only talk to her about your son. She is occupying too much space in your head rent-free. When someone is as horrible as she is, you shouldn't have to find better. Your picker is off. Here's a little secret meet her mother; if you could…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 11:18 PM
3

I'm about to get downvoted more than anyone in this sub ever. This guy is sounding like a woman. Most men require contentment, only women need happiness. I'm guessing he's dumping her with two kids at the wall. Condemning her to a long life alone. I'm not a total red-pill person but she is giving him everything he needs. I have a funny feeling there is another woman lined up. If we are going to be fair we have to be honest. Being bored is not a valid reason for a man to divorce. An adult vacatio…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 06:29 PM
1

What are your ages and how long have you been married?
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 11:06 PM
3

Stop treating women like they are the main character. You are the main character and the prize. This way you only have to trust yourself. I look at myself as a prize to be taken away from people who do not deserve me.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 10:30 PM
2

I was in a similar situation a few years back. Except she wanted to separate for six months and take our two youngest to her mother's house in Vegas. We live in Jersey and I told her she could go wherever she wants, but the kids stay with me. No offense to Nevada but education there is nowhere close to New Jersey. She kept bringing up separation and I wasn't doing enough around the house. I think she was mad because I put a fifteen thousand dollar cap on our oldest daughter's birthday party. I t…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 10:29 PM
1

You have invested too much love in her. Anyone who is smart enough to know about love, love yourself with all of your heart. Anyone else by the value they add to your life. No one who loved you would betray you in this manner. If she doesn't love you she cannot add value. Don't sit there wallowing in pity. She is not worthy of this much consideration. She has chosen to be a pass-around. Stay the course; no, lean into divorce. Don't let her leave you in limbo. Apathy is your friend; find some.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 03:16 AM
3

56 here, but only 20 years married. 3 years ago my wife asked for a separation. Old Vet, so I went and had the divorce settlement drawn. I was pretty fed up with her downplaying achievements and contributions. She took those papers like a venomous snake. So be prepared for crying and begging. I decided to stay. I had my kids late so two kids were still in the house. The oldest is at Princeton and paying for two houses and an Ivy League education seemed daunting. To my wife's credit, she did a on…
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/23 04:02 AM
4

People will only treat you like you allow them to treat you! You are a backup plan and an ATM. Stop being both. Go see a lawyer Monday and lean into divorce. From here on out only give her what the court orders. Do not have sex with this woman; she is not worthy of having your child. You have the next ten years to find a suitable woman to raise a family. Pour yourself into work to see her less, or take walks in the park. Apathy is your friend. Turn your I don't give a fuck meter up. She is testi…
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/23 03:04 AM
1

It's alright to be angry. Anger is a useful emotion if properly administrated to a particular problem. Her being nice and reminiscing are her tools for elevating guilt. Let her know the back door is forever closed.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 06:22 PM
2

Dude, let her. I stayed with my wife because I looked at statistics of single women raising children. Children are far better with a man guiding their life. Your Ex decisions led you to where you are. Think about your child and take command of the situation. Document everything and prove you are the better parent. Make sure your daughter doesn't become your Ex.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 05:36 PM
3

This may sound crazy but the only way to save it is to file for divorce. If she is using separation as a behavior modification technique, or if she is using separation to put feelers into the dating market; divorce will prevent her from seeing you as a backup plan. She may have her eye on some guy at work, but it's complicated; you need to force her hand. Not only put the divorce on the table; but demand she modifies her behavior or else. This way if you do get divorced you walk away with your d…
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/23 07:58 PM
4

I stayed with my wife, so take this with a grain of salt. When she uttered the word divorce I leaned into it. Had a settlement drawn within three weeks. My wife freaked out even though she put it on the table. I told her that I loved her but I didn't need anyone but me. My wife did a one-eighty, and the last three years have been content.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/23 12:40 AM
4

When she says no affection; she means not for you. No woman is stupid enough to go without sex for ten years and divorce when she is well into her forties. That is a romance death sentence. Get out before this gets messy. If she is not looking now she will be. You were the best she could get when she married you. Ten years later with two kids; she is not heading into the same dating market. No Hallmark is ending is waiting for her. She'll no doubt have success dating, but getting someone to take…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 11:56 PM
7

The good news is more often than not they are leaving men when the man's potential is near his highest. Worse for them their value is on the decline. It adds to their bitterness. We should point out the fact they are not with their better than me. Because the better than me wants younger than her.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 02:43 PM
5

I would keep sending her all of the negative statistics of children raised by single mothers.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 12:17 PM
1

As long as you are alive you have a chance to fix your life. You just have to want to. I slept with a hundred women before I got married, and in twenty years I have never cheated on my wife. It's possible. As I close on sixty I still get a lot of attention. I changed my world by changing my mind. I know that I could find different from my wife, and I also know I won't find better than my wife. No one will love my children more than her or be more invested in my family. Three years ago I was on t…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 01:47 AM
2

You have a son. The last thing you want to teach him is when you mess your life up take the easy way out.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 01:24 AM
26

They expect you to fall apart when they leave you. Most women use leaving as a punishment, and you moved on. You committed the sin of surviving her.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 12:48 AM
1

There is no help for you. I know guys don't like women posting in this sub, but if your wife were to post I'd give her so much affirmation she'd think Brad Pitt is waiting for her. I hope Karma doesn't exist for your sake. The only advice I have is live in your car so your wife and kid can stay in the house.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 12:38 AM
1

More women will hit on you if you just keep it on. When your Ex asks why you still wear it; tell her it's your ho magnet.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/23 10:57 PM
6

My friend's wife told him this. Come to find out she was in the midst of a five-year affair. He didn't find out until two years after the divorce. He was a functioning alcoholic and she left him when he got sober. Now it doesn't matter why she is leaving, as long as you know that it's not your failure. You are the perfect age to start over. One day you will look back on this chapter of your life and think she did you a favor.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 06:53 PM
1

Probably wouldn't have the money then; three high-achieving teenagers. The oldest is Ivy and the other two are talking college overseas. The 529 savings will barely cover my firstborn.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 06:44 PM
4

My friend still talks about his divorce six years after. Real friends will listen, and tell you when they don't feel like it today.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 05:43 PM
7

Mentally you need to start taking the love you have for her and start letting it feel the void she left in you. Remember you don't need her, you just want her. Odds are pretty high that she is having some sort of affair. I can't be sure but the way she phrased it seems like guilt, and she doesn't deserve your love. Let her go, and let him know that there is no coming back. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 05:19 PM
3

Good luck with all that. As I said I went by statistics. You can Google everything I said; do you think single mothers are telling you the whole truth?
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/23 08:16 PM
4

You got lucky. You relied on a corrupt system and survived. A system that is rewarded by entitling women and rewarding them for alienating men from their children. Even if it can be proven that children do better with couples, and single fathers, over single mothers. Most of us don't have the luxury of putting our faith in a system designed to screw men over.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/23 05:42 PM
3

Because in western society women get primary custody by default. Women stupidly think their husbands can be replaced. No man can love her children like their father. My oldest got into every school she applied and the other two are on track. My wife and any replacement she chose could not provide my results. Look up the statistics, and be honest with yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/23 04:36 PM
3

Cheating is an unforgivable act. It is also an act of disrespect. I wouldn't even allow my woman to flirt with other men. My self-respect doesn't entertain bullshit. If you find yourself in the position of OP; leave the first time.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/23 06:48 PM
13

I was you three years ago. Twenty-year marriage three teenagers, and a hardly existent bedroom. Every day nagging led to arguments. On a good day, she waited for the children to leave. Eventually, she asked for a separation. I automatically thought of divorce. So I had the settlement drawn and gave them to her to sign. She freaked out like your wife. The only difference is my wife makes twenty grand less than me, so the money part was straightforward. Like your wife, my wife freaked out. I have …
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/23 06:33 PM
2

I have daughters and at fifty-six I have no desire for them to see me with another woman. That's probably the only reason I agreed to stay. To her credit, she did do a lot of work on herself.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/23 06:10 PM
6

Odds are he was broken by some other woman and has been struggling with dating since. Odds are he is overcompensating, and trying too hard to get on your boy's good side. If you had girls like me; I'd be worried. I doubt he is stupid enough to try something with a fifteen-year-old boy who probably could take him. Your Ex is over 35 and that wall isn't pretty. Dating is not going to be as easy as she thought. Women tend to think they settled in marriage, but in reality, it's after divorce they wi…
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/23 05:03 PM
1

Never break down or get beat up in front of your woman. Maybe the death of a close family member, but it can be just tears no sound.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/23 03:17 PM
3

Find your JAG officer he can give you some idea of what is to come. You weren't married long, so you shouldn't pay support for long. Half of your unit probably went through this, so they can give you an idea of what you are about to go through. Do not listen to your Ex or her family. They are estimating your salary without the consideration that your BAS, and BAQ. After the divorce, you will have no allowance.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 08:09 PM
7

Sounds like she had a therapist and maybe a lawyer coaching her. Eventually, you'll have to go no contact. She is not the person you married, and I'm sorry Dick changes women. Please don't wait until six months later she's getting married to a coworker. This was so well planned out that I wouldn't be surprised if Tinder is just a shield to hide her affair.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 03:10 AM
1

The amount of disrespect men can endure is incredible. Women don't just cheat; there is a lot of micr-disrespect that happens first. They are always calculated, so they test you first. Things like comparing you to other men are big red flags. They only miscalculate the moment you will say enough. By the time you get to that point; they are fully entrenched in the delusion you will never leave. Waking someone from a delusion can be dangerous. Never let a woman get to the point where she believes …
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 03:36 AM
1

New Rules! You can love a woman as much as you can love another person, but never more than you. You are the main character in your life everyone else is expendable. Enjoy people who add value to your life, and the moment they don't let them go.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 07:50 PM
2

Some women get restless, and some don't believe they deserve something good. You may have to face that her reason for leaving is more than you can handle, and let go.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 07:27 PM
3

"The Killing of Two Lovers" came out in 2021 it's a brilliant indi. "Revolutionary Road" made me hate Kate Winslet for a while. My favorite cheating wife karma was a mini-series called "The Beautiful Lie."
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 07:13 PM
3

Sorry, my friend cheaters don't stop cheating; they just get better at cheating. What happens when she meets someone who can provide your lifestyle or better? At some point, the grief will become unbearable, but you are losing hundreds of thousands for something inevitable. I hope I'm wrong because you are dug in. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 03:41 PM
3

Listen to yourself she made you second best to a loser. He lives 1.5 hours away; then put her in your car and take her to apologize to his wife. I promise you just like she was willing to throw your marriage away, she will protect his relationship with twice the vigor. Hell, save some gas. Have him put his wife on speaker, and have your wife apologize to her. Watch your wife fight for her lover's family. You are in a reconciliation fog, and if you don't divorce you will regret it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 03:33 PM
5

You have her over a barrel. Even if you want to get back to her later, divorce and restart the clock. It would be financially irresponsible for you to stay. Personally, the amount of self-respect I would have to swallow would be too much. You have been put second best to a man not fit to shine your shoes. The affair fog prevented her from doing the consequence math. I bet they did it after they got caught. Her being caught cost her about five hundred grand upfront payouts. You catching her destr…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 03:18 PM
1

Three years ago my wife made a one-eighty when I told her that I was looking at the front door. I think she is happier about the change she has made. I stayed because I knew the craziness I had and didn't want to break a new woman in. There may be better out there for you but in this Instagram society, there may be a lot worse. Put leaving on the table and gauge her reaction. Shit is never that bad on one side and not the other. Only one of two things will happen. An empowered man will leave a w…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 05:15 PM
4

Been married for twenty years. Thought about leaving her three years ago. She got the papers and freaked out. She did a one-eighty, so I stayed. I stayed in this sub to tell young men to never love anyone more than themselves. Too many men allow women to use divorce as a punishment. I try to preach to them that self-love is the only thing that fixes broken men.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 02:14 AM
1

I'm speaking facts. Women don't leave men like me. Only fools believe that Alfa/Beta bullshit. I'm cool that you turned redpill after your wife left you. Whatever you need to heel. Now I have daughters so if a young woman needs advice I'm going to help if I can.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 12:26 AM
1

Read your previous post happy it didn't turn into a shitshow. I was expecting a new boyfriend with his chest puffed up in your house.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 12:02 AM
0

If this is a measuring contest trust me I'm bigger. I'm just not angry because I can change women like socks. Don't need Tate to tell me how to be a man. Work on yourself before you tell real men how to be men.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 11:34 PM
1

Some apps follow registered sex offenders in your community. I have girls, I check it before they go to a friend's house.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 11:24 PM
0

He is a bit broken, probably very damaged. Divorce tends to ruin men. The type of patience it takes for a woman to nurse a broken man back to health is rare. There are good men out there, but you have to expect to fix what other women broke.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 08:36 PM
1

You may want to post this in the Divorce subreddit. Due to the gender role reversal. Most men strive for contentment, you like most women require happiness. I doubt you'll find happiness with a woman like you. Do understand women like this are never satisfied.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 07:26 PM
1

As soon as she asked for a divorce her opinion ceased to matter. You go for this and her coworker will be living there rent-free.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 11:14 PM
1

Before we go off on the feminist; let's agree with greedy men lawyers did this to society. In sixty-four they passed the Equal Rights bill. Opening the workforce to women. They knew women in the workforce would most likely act like men for generations before. Worse they knew women would have way more options. When they passed the Equal Rights bill the divorce rate was two percent. Greedy lawyers at the time knew the divorce rate would rise, so they made it easier to divorce. Later in the sixties…
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 04:43 PM
2

Repeat after me " She or no one is more important than me. I am the main character in my life. Anyone who compliments the way I want to live my life is welcome into it." You are the star, director, writer, and producer in your life. Never let anyone who is meant to complement your life think they are the most important character in the production. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/23 05:22 PM
4

Turn off your heart and turn on your head. Speak to an attorney and see what divorce looks like. It has to be better than how you have it now. You already lost her, she wants you as a backup plan. That means it is obvious to her that she is being self-destructive. Look at the clowns she is giving sex to, is any worthy of shining your shoes? Women never marry someone so far below them that after a few years, they can find an upgrade. Most do a lateral move at best. Your child is young enough that…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/23 02:19 PM
1

Divorce is rigged against men. Women are incentive to leave. It is not men's fault they are sold by a fairy tale by one trillion-dollar industry. Then as they bust their ass to live that dream; another trillion-dollar industry sneaks in. For too long people are taught marriage and divorce are lifestyle decisions, but they are a social construct that fails most men. No child is better off without a father's presence, yet 90% of custody is awarded to women.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/23 04:33 PM
11

How about if I told you before 1965 the divorce rate in America was two percent?
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/23 11:07 PM
1

No matter what you believe in; in America reality is what you can get away with. You have to be able to say fuck family I'm going to do what is best for me.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/23 06:02 PM
2

I was one foot out of the door. Papers were drawn and I was tired of the threats. The settlement scared the shit out of her. So all of a sudden she doesn't want a divorce and was willing to change. I was on the fence, and at that point, I didn't believe she could change. Then I started to Google the performance of children raised by single mothers. They were sixty to seventy percent of a lot of negative areas. Like incarceration, dropout, teen drug abuse, and so forth. I stayed because the stati…
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 07:53 PM
2

She wasn't sleeping with your daughter so the baby could sleep through the night. She did it not to cheat on the coworker. Women hate being wrong in front of you they always lie. She gave you fuel to move on. Lean into it, and no more Mr nice guy.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 07:24 PM
2

No men want this system, and the system doesn't work. Do you know that before at-fault divorce the divorce rate in America was two percent? Today women are equal, and most men treat as good or better than our grandfathers in the sixties. Yet today the divorce rate is above fifty percent. If a man destroys his relationship he expects to be held accountable. Women nuke marriages all the time and this system rarely holds them accountable. In the SurvivingInfidelity subreddit, the most-asked questio…
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 03:32 PM
21

I read a post last week that a woman posted in this sub. She was a strong independent woman. She was a breadwinner. She was about to lose half the stuff she built to a dreamer who only took. The women in the Divorce subreddit probably seemed alien to her. She didn't want a divorce, but she wasn't going to wallow in pity. I remember her post because of the twenty comments I read none were negative. I understand eviscerating females that every time a man states facts she cries misogyny. But the wo…
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 02:47 PM
1

Happy for you. Divorce as a tool to humble men is the new normal. I think that is what I think my wife was aiming for. I leaned into a divorce so quickly that she backed-tracked. I have been to war. A woman leaving me could never be the worst thing that happened to me.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 02:33 PM
17

It's not women mostly; America has a system that incentives women to leave. The system was built by lawyers for lawyers. The moment courts stop doling out support is the time when the divorce rate goes below double digits. I believe if men stopped getting married for three years courts would change laws that would eliminate support. Pressure on the marriage and divorce industries is what is needed. To the point women are mad; do they think men are happy? At best most of us are content. I think w…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 10:57 PM
6

I'm a member of my children's PTA. At every social or fundraising event a woman hits on me. My wife noticed it too. Probably why she called off the divorce. Women leaving most of the time is a form of punishment. If divorce won't leave you miserable a lot of women wouldn't leave.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 09:19 PM
4

This is why men should be involved with children's education. I get hit on by so much by soccer moms that nothing a woman doesn't could affect my ego.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 08:58 PM
4

Take fifteen minutes in the SurvivingInfidelity subreddit. Being married never stops coworkers. Only strong independent women can leave without a plan. If your Ex fits into that category you have nothing to worry about. But if you are paying any support; she had to plan; probably with help.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 06:34 PM
5

You are better off than my friend. She was with the other guy for seven years. Three after the divorce he found out. It was a guy he worked with. He was still giving her money because she and AP barely afford a one-bedroom apartment. When he cut the gravy train she and her boyfriend moved in with her mother. The crazy thing is my friend replaced her mother's roof while the loser slept downstairs.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 05:56 PM
3

It's not rocket science. Just tell her that if someone is going to be a potential problem; you only require that they respect you in your house. Also, tell her to bring the necessary refreshments. I hate people feeling they have the right to go in my refrigerator. I would also take her stuff out of the bedroom. Hell, I would have her clear the bedroom with you a day before. Let her inspect but no one else should be allowed.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 05:29 PM
42

Boyfriend is part of the moving crew.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 02:14 AM
6

Dude, a woman posted in here last week, and her post had so much testosterone it nobody cared. I'm going to complain about the wall of text. The mathematics of divorce is not in your favor. You get half his debt, and he gets half of your everything. You need to check out how milestones affect divorce in your jurisdiction. In a lot of places, twenty years is a forever marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 11:16 PM
1

You need to read this as if someone else wrote it. From what I just read; I wouldn't be in the same country as that woman.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 09:18 PM
1

Favor it, it was a part of their plan. As soon as they passed the Equal Rights bill; guess what came next No-fault divorce. They knew that soon as women had the means to have an income the cheating would begin. No-fault divorce is another tool preventing women to be held accountable for their decisions.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/22 11:23 PM
3

This only applies to men who haven't figured out the secret. Never love anyone as much as you love yourself. When a woman says she wants to leave you; show her the door. The realization that you don't need anyone is so liberating.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/22 10:59 PM
3

She needs to be reminded that divorce money is nothing like married money.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/22 10:35 PM
4

Life has given you the blessing of seeing who is with you and who doesn't have your back. At the same time, you have learned to let people go. My father used to tell me "Change your mind and change your world."
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/22 02:21 AM
3

Yeah, this sounds like an episode of "Taken". You are being a responsible parent.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/22 12:14 AM
5

I hate to tell you, but nobody risks it all for an emotional affair. Normally as a woman, you would be crucified in this sub, but the amount of testosterone in your post is a pleasant surprise. Lawyer up, and keep his hands out of your pockets.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/22 10:07 PM
2

If a husband that provides her lifestyle and stability doesn't make her happy; wait until she sees what the women over thirty-five dating market look like. They think that the dating market is the same as in their twenties, but there is a wall waiting for them. Broken men that can't commit, and players who are single for a reason. Few men will put up with the bullshit you did. Go to YouTube and search Women Hitting the Wall. See all the beautiful women over thirty-five getting treated like lefto…
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/22 10:52 PM
2

I associate with a lot of people, but honestly, I only consider myself having one friend. He feels like a brother. I also have military friends I haven't seen in years. They always have a place to stay when they are in town, and someone to talk to if they need me.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/22 10:35 PM
2

If she is in your past; why invest in her future? If you can make sense of this question do whatever the answer leads you to do.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/22 03:39 AM
3

Five years is a milestone for divorce. Milestones work like this, a five-year marriage is cheaper than a ten-year marriage. A twenty-year marriage is a forever marriage and in a lot of places that is spousal support for life. Two reasons to get out now: it's cheaper. Pay spousal support for something like three years and you are done. I'm guessing you don't hate her, so you'd probably want her to move on with her life. Well, your wife only may have seven more good dating years before she hits th…
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/22 03:08 AM
13

There is a reason there are so many horror stories. Divorce is purposely tilted in women's favor. By the time one of you utters divorce, it is too late for the man. Best Practices: Tell as many young men that will listen not to get married. This generation is lost, but there can be hope for the future
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/22 10:47 PM
2

You didn't march to "Misery oh Misery"? You do not need to be deployed for Jody to take your girl. Her friend has a boyfriend with a friend.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/22 08:16 PM
3

Seems like her parents' problem. She is probably with someone on base. Odds are someone who you introduced her to. If you take your sweetheart from Idaho to Vegas, it only takes six months for Idaho not to recognize her. Talk to a trusted NCO. They see this happening a couple of times a year. Get out of your marriage because paternity fraud may be in your future.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/22 08:12 PM
6

Western women are the most educated in the world, and yet they are always failing in real-life math. They never are sure what they are looking for, but swear it is not you. They always think that there is better out there. They see celebrities getting man after man in their thirties. When in reality there is a wall waiting for women after thirty. Most men see all that baggage and run. The fools that are left are so far below you that she would look like a fool doing anything more than fucking th…
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/22 08:03 PM
6

In the sixties, divorce law was practiced by any lawyers. It was not a specialized field, but today, it is an industry. Lobbyists knew that if you gave women the same opportunities in the workplace, they would do the same as men. No fault divorces give women a get out of jail free card and money as they pass go. It basically incentives women to get divorced. Why would men do that to men? MONEY!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 10:41 PM
2

I could tell that this was a coworker story by your title. If it were me I would have fucked his Ex just to be petty. Your marriage probably ended a year before you knew. They planned the end of your marriage together. You are lucky to be rid of a woman so easily swayed. This will not end kindly for her. He's not staying with her, and she is about to find out about the wall women hit after thirty-five.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 10:32 PM
9

Did you know that the divorce rate was two percent before 1960? Two major things happened in the sixties that forever changed divorce on the west. Equal rights bill passed on sixty-four. Then, in sixty-nine California, inacted no fault divorce laws. Which spread across the country in the seventies. In two decades, the divorce rate went from two percent to fifty percent. The difference between at fault and no fault is accountability. When people were held accountable, they were forced to work on …
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 08:23 PM
8

If everything is against men; why do we keep playing the game. The game is rigged. Our asention started in the sixties. What happened in the sixties three things. It started with the equal rights bill. That added women to the workforce in groves. What came next states started adopting no fault divorces. Someone knew that if women had the same opportunities to cheat, they would do it better than men. No fault, divorce is a skewed system to protect women from the consequences of divorce. Then came…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 02:11 PM
7

She's probably attracted to him, but the other guy is excitement. It is irrefutable that she doesn't respect him. To me, respect is more important than love. I love myself enough for ten women. No kids get out now she has character flaws that won't go away. Remember, divorce is a financial transaction, and the courts use milestones to quantify what you pay. Five years is cheaper than ten, and a twenty year marriage is a forever marriage. Ask yourself this. How much alimony are you willing to pay…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 05:39 AM
8

When men realize that they can't afford something, they go and sit down. When women realize they can't afford something, they look for ways you can supplement their lifestyle. Men need to stop getting married for three years. Women need a reality check
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 04:44 PM
6

Twenty years is a forever marriage. Get out while you are unemployed, and spousal support should be low. You take her to California, and she divorces you there; you will be living in your car.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 01:58 AM
1

This sounds like her idea. The only reason divorce men agree with her idea is that he still carries a tourch. Don't wait until her parenting time comes with a plus one.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 01:03 AM
18

If you think analytically all the numbers say marriage is a bad deal for men. 50% of marriages end in divorce. The average length of a marriage that ends in divorce is 8 years. Nearly 80%of divorces are initiated by women. 76% of fathers after divorce have to pay support. The only time a woman that a woman will even look at a man who can't provide is when she has a man she doesn't respect providing her quality of life.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/22 09:03 PM
3

Why?????? You remind me of the poor saps I knew in the military. Their wives cheat on them with losers. They try to save them all the while they know that they are going to be gone more than they will be home. I really don't think you understand how marriage works in today's society. Men are so expendable that women can leave them at a drop of a hat. The longer she gets him to stay, the more he has to pay. Divorce is happening in more than fifty percent of marriages. Women initiate divorce eight…
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/22 02:42 AM
1

Even if you weren't involved, your money is involved. If she takes four grand to South America or the Eastern Block; you would ce paying three quarters of what they need to live comfortably. If you are comfortable letting her leave the country with your child, I would leverage my signature for cash. Just make sure you still have access to your child.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/22 10:43 PM
3

I really hope you are in a jurisdiction that caps spousal support. Indiana only gives women three years to get their shit together.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/22 08:30 PM
1

Procede like you are getting rid of someone defective. Lean all the way into divorce if you can find a little hate better for you.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/22 08:25 PM
3

It happens to everyone who allows it. Women require happiness, and men only need contentment; it's easy for men to try to get along.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/22 08:11 PM
1

The best advice you can get is to divorce before your marriage gets to ten years. Marriage is based on love and trust. Divorce is a financial transaction based on formulas. Check your jurisdiction to figure out how the law will affect your divorce. Normally, five years is cheaper than ten, and ten is cheaper than twenty. If you are in the in-between, it is cheaper is cheaper to stay there. She made her decision, and women rarely changed their minds on divorce. You have a small window to protect …
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/22 05:40 PM
1

She is not your responsibility, so how she lives is none of your concern. Moving in with family until you get your bearings is okay.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/22 05:22 PM
2

There is no way in hell new guy gets to play daddy,and I get to supplement their lifestyle. I would put five hundred dollars a month in an education fund, but fuck sending it to her for a child I can't see. Believe me, the backup plan was in effect way before she gave birth. No mother in her right mind would allow her husband not to sign the birth certificate. The only way that happened was that she wasn't sure.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/22 05:17 PM
5

Make it clear what the court says is what you pay. If you are like me, she had all of your money before; now you have to live for you. Seems to me she is trying to reduce your value to a point no other woman wants you. Women leave, but if you are dumb enough to leave a back door open; she will keep it open until they realize you were probably the best they could get.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 07:07 PM
3

Who is the beneficiary of her life insurance, andwho initiated. If it is not you, you have your answer.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 06:54 PM
2

Your only answer should be "Well, I guess that's why you divorced me."
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/22 08:45 PM
9

She thought that if she took her love away, I wouldn't have love. I found out quickly that I love me some me. If I didn't need her for love; I damn sure didn't need her for anything else.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/22 01:43 AM
4

What do you mean; ride off into the sunset? She's a train wreck of a human with inpulse control. There is no need for karma needed here. Here's what is going to happen; people are going to slowly, but surely see her for who she is. They will begin to cut her off, and her drinking will increase. Do not wait for her; karma is that as she closes doors in her life, the close forever. At some point, she will come back to you. Please be totally moved on by then.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/22 03:18 PM
0

Wait until she realizes that boyfriend doesn't really want her kid around. This will not end well for her. Don't be surprised if six months down the line, she turns up at your doorstep. Hopefully, you will have her replacement in place by then.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/22 03:14 AM
2

It's amazing how they can completely drop their morales for the coworker, and then all of a sudden, she wants to be faithful within the affair.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/22 10:09 PM
1

As long as you care she has power over you. Narcissist love to see their victims pain. Get her on board with a parenting app, and tell her to only contact you about your child. Even if it tears you you have to act like she doesn't affect you anymore. What did Rihanna say about when she didn't feel fierce "I Fake It!"
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 08:42 PM
1

You don't divorce your wife; you divorce your Ex-wife. It is not your place to take care of her; your only responsibility is to successfully coparent with her. She decided to be on her own; it her responsibility to take care of her self. If she can't afford to to do that she should have thought about that before she asked for a divorce. Have lawyers draw up a settlement and adhere to the letter. If you give her fifty percent of your money; what happens when you meet someone new. Don't give her s…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/22 05:51 PM
2

120k does not afford you the charity the charity she is asking of you. She knows you love her and she is manipulating that to her advantage. I make about thirty grand more than you and my wife makes about fifty grand less. I live in New Jersey; when the lawyer did child support calculator it was nearly thirty percent of my income. It would be hard for us to afford New Jersey after divorce. My wife asked for more but I was already looking at a two bedroom apartment. I couldn't afford to give her …
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/22 04:40 PM
2

And he knows she's going to move her boyfriend in as soon as she pushes him out. Let love go; divorce is a business transaction.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/22 04:17 PM
1

Hold on! Are you asking us should subsidize her and her boyfriend, so they can live in your home? If she was leaving and raising your children alone is one thing, but she won't be alone. Why in the hell would you afford two grownups the lifestyle you provide for your family. It's not your fault she didn't cheat up. Say you agree to this; what happens when you meet someone. Why does she deserve the lifestyle your wife's boyfriend can afford? Your Ex and her boyfriend need to get better jobs. Plea…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/22 04:14 PM
2

In the Instagram age she probably isn't just lazy; she probably cultivated an on line image as a stay at home mom. A job will alter her online image. There is actually a thing called SAHGF. Instagram models who posts on social media all day while their boyfriend provides a luxurious lifestyle.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/22 11:08 PM
3

I guessing divorce was her decision or consequence of heractions. If so she has to live with the consequences of her decision. People have been living in apartments for centuries.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/22 06:37 PM
3

I definitely feel that.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/22 02:19 AM
9

Oh, I don't get to be alone; her shrill is blood curling. Even when we are not talking her presence is felt. She absolutely doesn't want a divorce. I stayed three years ago because she said she would change, and she did until about three months ago.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/22 02:16 AM
22

As men we don't even ask for happiness; all we require is contentment. They can't even give us that. I haven't pulled the trigger yet. Twenty year marriage I scared she will cut holes in my pockets and drain them dry. One kid in Princeton, other two have a few more years in high school. I am trying to figure out how to live off my VA disability money; it's the only money she can't touch. "A house without PEACE is the worst prison in the world." Johnny Depp
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/22 02:10 AM
3

14 years are you waiting until your marriage is a forever marriage before you divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/22 05:32 PM
15

I once seen an article about a man who gave his wife a kidney to save her life. After she recovered she left him for a coworker. He even tried to sue to get his kidney back, to no avail. Your wife sounds like the wife in that story. It's time for you to file divorce, and let the chips fall were they may. Don't give her a kidney because another shoe will always drop. She already told you that you wasn't superman, throw away the cape.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/22 03:53 AM
6

Let me get this straight. You have a good woman. Who is not on Instagram looking to trade you in. Who seems like she will ride or die until the end. Should you leave her? Yes, but not for you will totally regret it. Do it for her she deserves better. As a matter a fact you sound like a woman. They have a perfectly good husband, and leaves to see what is out there. Women require happiness. Men normally only require contentment. You want to give up a house with peace, to see what is in the streets…
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 08:16 PM
8

You guys have to start doing math before getting involved with these women of today. Two kids by two different men. How is she still marriage material? If women initiate divorce eighty percent of the time why is marrying a woman who has proven she is prone to leave even an option.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 01:32 AM
3

The key to life is loving yourself the most. Only add people who add value to your life. People who want you out of their life cannot add value; let them go. Your wife sees a hard road ahead and she wants no part of it. Don't waste your time on someone who wants to run in your time of need. Use that energy to find someone who will actually help you; when you need help. But make sure you only give her what the court says. Not a penny more.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/22 02:08 AM
1

Let her out. She sees hard times coming and her first reflex is to run. Not all people are willing to go that extra mile.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/22 01:22 AM
4

Narcissist require control. She is no longer a main character in your life, and that's what this is really about. Narcissist feed off the misery of the broken men they leave in their wake. You falling for someone else deprives her of toxic energy that fueled her over the years. As a husband I would absolutely be concerned about my wife having an unhealthy obsession with her Ex's wife.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/22 09:27 PM
3

Actually it's more like sixty years when states changed from at fault to no fault. It precisely coordinates with the equal rights bill. Some genius lawyer realized if women were given the same workplace opportunities; they would do the same thing as men do, and it would be easier for women. Imagine how much money lawyers would lose if adultery ended spousal support. The fight for support runs up legal fees. Hell, if there was no support a lot less women would ask for divorce. Of course your wife…
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/22 09:15 PM
3

No fault divorce seems like a loophole the threw in there after women's liberation. I think they realized that when women entered the workplace eventually they would act like men of previous generations. Lawyers would loose a lot of money if adultery ended women's ability to collect support. Guess how many marriages would be saved if they eliminated support. Women would actually have to do math before having an affair. It would definitely stop teachers from having affairs with teachers; when the…
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/22 08:21 PM
0

My statistics came from the Census Bureau.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/22 08:00 PM
0

It's a study I seen last week and if Googled "What percentage of women will remain unmarried in the year 2030?" The answer would be 52%
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/22 05:23 PM
4

My wife started creating narratives of how I wasn't helping enough. We have three spoiled children that do nothing for the house. Eventually she said it out loud. I leaned into it, got a settlement favoring her drawn up. By the end of the month. She had a melt down when I gave her the papers signed by me. Unknown to me she talked when her mother the week before. My mother in law stood up for me. Told the wife she would be crazy to divorce me. We had twenty years in, so our marriage was considere…
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/22 03:27 AM
10

It's basic mathematics. Over fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. Eighty percent of divorces are initiated by women. The longer you are married the more divorce will cost you. By twenty thirty over fifty percent of single women will never marry. Men and women are wired differently. Women require happiness, men only require contentment. Fighting for a marriage is fruitless. It is only a delay of the inevitable. When they ask for a divorce the best thing for you to do is lean into it make it…
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/22 01:40 AM
2

Text back a thumbs up emoji. No good can come from corresponding with her. Either she feels like she made a mistake, and see if the door is cracked. She's proved that she can leave, so why prolong the inevitable. On the opposite side of the spectrum; some women fuel off men's pain. They do it under the guise of friendship or caring, but want is to watch you deteriorate.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/22 11:41 PM
1

Why can't you text her you have no desire to meet him? As a matter of fact she's already proven she fails in commitment, so you will wait and meet the next guy.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/22 11:31 PM
11

To some women divorce is a get out of jail free card. You are doing the pick-me dance to the bitter end. Worse she is feeding off your misery. If the direction your life is going is not getting you anywhere. Try going in the opposite direction. If I were you I'd be leaning into the divorce. Let her know you are no longer an option. Either that or set a limit on the amount of men who can have her while you wait.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/22 07:56 PM
8

Men, especially men raised by women are told they should love their woman with all of their heart. This way of thinking doesn't fit in today's reality. A man can love his woman a much as he could love another person but never more than himself. If woman wants out show her the door. Help her pack and have a settlement drawn for her to sign. Men should never feel they need women. We should want them in our lives; until they don't want to be there. If your decision is you or the relationship always…
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/22 11:35 PM
14

Only thing that can overcome gaslighting is apathy. As long as you care she'll keep this up. You being sad and weak justifies her decision to cheat. Her occupying your head space keeps you from actually moving on and taking care of the most important character in this story you. Her actual value in this story is way less than what you are giving her credit for. Until you reevaluate your divorced relationship; she will always have the power hurt you. Get a coparenting app, and only communicate ab…
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/22 10:34 PM
4

Prepare for her to announce that she is in love with someone else. She is moving way too fast to not have a backup plan. Get lawyer and listen to them. If you sit on your hands; you will be copied and pasted. Replaced by her coworker. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 08:23 PM
9

Women don't want out unless a backup plan is in place. Especially when you are the provider. Growing apart normally happens when sights are set on another target. Even if you can't prove they are cheating there is normally someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/22 08:54 PM
2

Tell her you don't have time to track her because you are too busy looking for her replacement.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 08:52 PM
3

The moment she asks for a divorce your only concern should be you. She has officially ended your concern for her wants, needs, and decisions. Her request for divorce should be the last decision you honor. Never treat your Ex wife like she's your wife.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/22 06:24 PM
13

It's called "Buyers Remorse ". You said she has been dating; she's coming to the realization that the best she can do is a lateral move. She's not getting better just different. Wait to she is old enough to figure out that all that is left is broken men with baggage. Worse she threw away a perfectly good marriage because she built a narrative in her head that you will never do enough. Add to all of this the fact that she went to far to turn back. Those "help me figure things out" texts are heat …
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/22 11:54 PM
5

Seems to me she is intentionally doing things to force you to the lawyer. I went through all the bedroom bullshit, but at least she cared. At least she wanted to keep the family. I found she was never in the mood when the kids were in the house. Take her on adult weekend I'm waking up, and being put to sleep with sex. The crazy thing is eventually her sexual appetite will return, but not with you.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/22 10:30 PM
1

Shit gets real once the settlement is on the table. She doesn't know what she wants, and you made the decision for her. Women think they should be entitled to their craziness, and we are supposed to fight, and fix. In the military my best advice I got from a commander is to know where it gets too much and get out.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/22 06:43 PM
8

Hate to tell you, but most of the lawyer who benefit from child support and spousal support are good Christian conservative lawyers. The Liberals are the social workers. I am liberal but I don't believe no person should have to supplement the life of another adult. I also believe not allowing support to the person who initiated divorce will save more marriages than any court ordered separation. Let's do the math, seventy to eighty percent of divorces are initiated by women. Only thirty percent o…
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 05:56 PM
1

When I was going through I learned to love me first. I built a pedestal when she first uttered that we needed to separate something in my brain clicked. I shut down to her, and focused on the tasks at hand. By the time she was ready to go cross country to her mother's I handed her a divorce settlement. All of a sudden it was, why was I doing this to the family. Mind you she planned to take the kids away for six months. She was also freaking out because the kids were asking to stay with me. I thi…
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 05:42 PM
1

He's 20 years older you have time to catch up financially. Buy next year she'll be trying to make you her AP.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 07:38 PM
1

Sounds like couples counseling, and individual therapy for the kid. Even if you are firmly in the divorce camp you have to coparent.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 02:48 PM
10

Tell her to only contact you though your attorney. Why waist time trying to reason with a liar. Text her could she stay at her boyfriend's house; she is no longer welcome in your home. Then block her on everything. Odds are she'll come crawling back; remember the plan B.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 12:58 AM
2

Marriage is about love. Divorce is about numbers. A five year marriage is cheaper than a ten year. The length of the marriage is a big factor in spousal support. In instances of infidelity you should legally divorce even if you want to say together. You must reset the clock.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/22 03:43 PM
1

Who's the poor sap she moved three hours away from her children to be with. An old coworker.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 08:14 PM
8

She might make more than you, but odds are he doesn't make more than you. Women are always talking about getting a high value man, but normally at best they make a lateral move.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 06:58 PM
3

These questions should have been asked before this point. I would have told you to fake it until you could make it. I'm taking you stayed about six years too long. What is another year of saving and planning. Even if she had another lover sleep on the couch until you get your shit together.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 01:26 PM
3

If she gets a new limit that is it. You have to stand up for yourself. If you don't what is the difference between marriage and divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 02:55 AM
1

We are not married my money is not our money. I will only pay what the court orders. Get a real job if you want more money.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 01:37 AM
1

No! I think to highly of myself. She thought that I loved her more than anything. Yeah, anything but me. No one should be allowed to affect your self esteem. You control that. When she tries to manipulate me I remind her that I'm smarter than that. We were fighting over money. My wife begged to stay after she seen the divorce settlement. She believes I have value; because I know I'm valuable. When I decided to stay I had one condition. Peace. To many men think they are responsible for her happin…
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 01:13 AM
3

It's okay to think about the good times, but you have to balance it with the bad. Be honest about the narratives she created to not make you worthy of her love. Trust me at some point you will realize that wasn't you it was a tool to get away from you. If you ever watch who she picked after you; you will notice he is not that different than you. Don't make her into a mythological magical thing. She gave up on you without a fight.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 08:04 PM
4

Who said you have to marry a woman that makes less than you. Who made you the gatekeeper? Not everyone who posts is destined for divorce, so honest comments are best for everyone.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 08:53 PM
6

I see you haven't made it past twenty years. There are absolutely parts of a long marriage where endurance is is a necessity. Giving up when marriage isn't Hallmark is for people who should have never been married in the first place.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 07:21 PM
1

Military+Ex wife almost automatically means that there was some infidelity somewhere. If you forgave each other enough to have a baby you might as well get back together.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 10:06 PM
1

Just read a post in the divorce subreddit where a poor man was in the act of being copied and pasted by his Ex. She was so ruthless that she was using his daughter to force a relationship with his replacement. You eat their shit in marriage fight hard not to have to eat it in divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 07:19 PM
5

Dude, my wife pulled this as soon as the papers were on the table. I told her in the end all I need is peace. She was the narrative queen. Always trying to manipulate a situation to her favor. Problem is; I'm smarter than her. It's been three years since we were at the brink. I've decided give her wins on the small stuff, and stand my ground were I disagree. Crazy thing was I don't think I turned her around; she went to her mother looking for a sympathetic ear, and got slapped into reality.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 07:53 PM
26

The moment you realize that you are the main character in your life; is a moment that saves your life. Everyone else can leave you, but if you love you, you will survive. Lean into being loving yourself. If you would have done this in your marriage; you probably still be married. Women use leaving as a punishment. When you show you will thrive without her she recalculate about leaving. If you wondered why women don't leave assholes; it's because leaving never hurts an asshole. They recalculate t…
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/22 05:53 PM
2

Dude, it's not about the money. When women get fed up their deepest hearts desire is for you to be miserable. In an ideal world you'd be homeless for a time. Her leaving and you succeeding is her greatest nightmare. In every divorce one of you is going to have an ego trip. This is hers; don't take it personally. When my wife realized that I would survive her; she back-tracked the whole divorce. Since I gave her the papers I have been less emotional, and more assertive. Crazy thing I didn't chang…
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/22 07:29 PM
2

If you are a failed actor; you have a masters degree to fall back on. I would be more concerned about the failure dad bit. At some point she is going to copy and paste your ass. Poor bastard is going to get the same narratives as she's giving you. The "You don't support my dreams" is a classic. If they were truly dreams who can stop you. You are leaving your wife, moving to the most expensive state to follow your dreams. If she truly had dreams no one could stop her.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/22 08:13 PM
3

He did to her what she was doing to you. By making her feel unworthy she'll put up with a lot of shit. Divorce will not let you truly be free. That comes with valuing yourself above all others. As soon as you realize you are the main character in your life; things will start to get better. Add to that everyone else plays a minor role, and should only be allowed to stay as they add value. You should see allowing people in your life as a privilege. I love my wife, but I could never love her as muc…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/22 05:15 PM
2

I'll bet she allowed him to degrade her while you fought for her. The reality you are not seeing is she allowed him to degrade your relationship, and you by proxy. If he came back she'd chose him again. Her self-respect is not high enough for a functioning relationship. She stays in your relationship because it allows her degrade you, and that she needs that to feel worth living. What will really blow your mind is she is compelled to stay with you; because when she loses you, she's a loser to hi…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/22 03:06 PM
2

My wife did a one eighty as soon as I presented her with a divorce settlement. We stayed together, and it's been three years. I have a fed up look now, and she knows how to read it. That being said I in no way suffered the level of disrespect you have. The only reason I had the strength to serve her was I always choose me. One day you will choose yourself, and on that day you will hate yourself for allowing her to treat you like she has.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/22 02:51 PM
3

Googled Illinois spousal support; a 9-10 year marriage is 40% of the length of the marriage. So you pay for four years. Remember that the longer you stay the more you pay. What ever you do; do not let it get to twenty years. That is considered a forever marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/22 06:17 PM
3

Tell the bosses wife; she'll do all the heavy lifting. Expect for your wife to go ballistic because she values his relationship more than yours.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/22 10:25 PM
3

You are the shit you eat. She is serving up disrespect. It is as important the version of you; your children see. That is as important as time you spend. If you Google what percentage of women initiate divorce and you will see it's nearly eighty percent. The level of disrespect she's showing it is only matter of time.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/22 02:13 AM
1

You are asking questions a couple years too late. Good news is if you wait a couple years she'll probably leave you. Any man thinking divorce should make sure that he is bonded to his child. Leave before your child is five, and she can make stepdad; Dad. Women have no problem copying and paste with their new man.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/22 01:21 AM
4

Move her to a place that has capped spousal support. Indiana gives her three years to get her shit together.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 10:19 PM
2

Even in this subreddit you will find very few people who can relate to your story. Men need to realize women are more likely to leave. If we are being logical they don't deserve second chances. They are leaving us for facial hair, and we are giving them for dicks.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 08:33 PM
1

Why are men sounding like marriage is supposed to be an old time fairy tale. You marry a woman allow her to not work, and rely on you for everything. Then you expect her to make you happy. You are not even old enough to have watched "Father Knows Best" where the SAHM archetype was believable. You are going to hear get couples counseling, and talk to a lawyer. Fuck couples counseling your wife is fine in the marriage. You need individual therapy to get your mind prepared. Either you are going fig…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/22 10:19 PM
2

I had a fair settlement drawn, and she freaked out. When our oldest got into college money got tight and instead of cutting back; my wife decided that I should make more. I had already took two promotions I didn't want. I put my foot down against getting a second job. She tried to use my ego and guilt to manipulate me. I stood up for myself. When I handed her the settlement she was destroyed. We didn't talk for a few days. Then she did a one eighty. She allowed me to revisit the budget. All we h…
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/22 04:58 PM
2

People pleaser. Stop letting people play major roles in your life who don't deserve it.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/22 08:28 PM
2

Only had to hit the dictionary twice. You have a career in your creativity. Imagine writing a book after divorce, and her face to you thriving without her that is karma.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/22 09:25 PM
4

I came to a conclusion that saved my marriage, and saved me. There is only one. That is me. Fuck "There can be only one!" That means others are contenders in my life. I am the one; others gets the space in my life I afford them. I remember reminding my wife that the door was always open. She was debating her latest narratives about what I wasn't. I said fuck it I'm going to be me. Married or divorced I'm doing what makes me happy. The perplexity on her face was priceless. For the first time in o…
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/22 09:19 PM
2

New Jersey also and didn't think about it till I was past that twenty year mark. Had PTSD before I married from the military. My lawyer did the math and I only had to pay child support. She made as much as me minus the veterans benefits, that she could not touch. I stayed, but changed. I stopped letting her narratives be reality. Offered her the door at any time. Even offered for her to see what the dating market looked like. My wife did a full one eighty. I stayed because she was a great mother…
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/22 08:08 PM
6

When they start with the narratives they are never going to stop, and you will never do enough to dissuade them. She wants to spend more time with you, but as soon as you come home she leaves. It's not that you are choosing the kids over her; you are choosing you over her. At some point in the madness you will have to choose yourself all the way.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 07:48 PM
5

You start by choosing you! Nobody in the history of the world has ever lost by choosing themselves. You have made the mistake a lot of men made. You love her more than you. You can love her more than another person, but never more than you. It's a mistake that men; especially raised by women make. They are raised by the one woman in the world who will put them first. No other woman can put you first. You are loved by the convenience of what you provide. Some women want the biggest dick; other wa…
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 03:35 PM
10

The audacity of women is amazing. She is divorced with kids and is still considered first prize. She needs time to see if you're worthy? If men made it taboo to marry recycled women they would be a lot less divorces.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/22 08:38 PM
4

If he came to be with the children, and he has to stay at her house; why didn't she come stay with you?
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/22 08:23 PM
1

Let me guess; she cheated, and he cheated to stay with her. That never works. If you want to help him after he gets his half; have him buy a house in his name only. Oh, if you live in California tell him to move before he gets married.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/22 08:19 PM
1

Honestly, you sound like a woman with two kids from previous relationships that says she doesn't want children with her successful committed boyfriend. Why are you punishing her because a previous relationship. Two years marry her or let her go. I don't want her to write this same post two years from now.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/22 07:49 PM
4

It's like they are trolling for broken men. I made the mistake of saying my State; she sexted me and said she could meet me in a hour. No way I was looking for an uglier woman.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/22 06:44 PM
2

Too many times men choose love over respect. This is a recipe for disaster. Without respect there can be no love. If you don't allow yourself to respect you more than you love her; you set your life for constant failure
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/22 04:18 PM
-3

I totally disagree with this. In this life there will be times when you have to choose between respect and love. Myself, I always choose self respect. Walking away when you can take half, but you ask for nothing not only say I don't want you, but I don't need you. Her confidence comes from you need her, don't give her that.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/22 03:32 PM
3

When she turns her love off you have to turn your emotions off. You can't get her love back, but self-respect is something you earn. Most men after the discussion you recently had think being vulnerable is the way back into her heart. Women say they are leaving for something you didn't do, but that's just a narrative she uses as a justification. It's normally about something she wants or did. I know you probably feel like shit, but she doesn't deserve to see that. She needs to see strong and foc…
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/22 08:16 PM
-2

Buy a gun and tell her to do whatever feels safe.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/22 03:48 PM
27

Look in the Divorce subreddit. Women are always questioning the decision to leaving.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 08:23 PM
5

There are still guys who allow their wives not work. My wife makes as much as I do. When she started with the narratives that I wasn't doing enough, and her legs were staying closed until I did. I wasn't worried. When she asked for a separation I went and got a divorce settlement. We make similar income; not including my disability benefits which she found out was untouchable. To her credit she can afford the house, and I wasn't fighting for my share of equity. When she realized how much of my m…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 02:11 AM
7

Dead bedroom that leads to divorce; this was bound to happen. I'm surprised that it didn't happen before your divorce. Stop trying to be her friend it hinders apathy. If you don't it's just a matter of time before she is trying to make you his best friend. It's a big leap from not dating to having a picture on the night stand. I mean almost two years do you have a woman's picture in your house. That's a serious relationship, and her boldness says get on board or she's going to roll over you. Let…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 01:28 AM
1

Understand her narratives is a way out, but not reality. That I need help and you are not doing enough is just a way to open a door of uncertainty. Trust that she is going through it is as perilous as what you face. The key to getting rid of the anger is realizing you can succeed without her. Today look in the divorce subreddit; see how many women wish their Ex treated them like the new girlfriend. If you can make your Ex one of those women you have succeeded in divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/22 06:02 PM
12

I stop talking to my wife for a week in a heartbeat. I don't like arguing in front of the children, so we don't talk. Crazy thing is by the end of the week she's acting like nothing happened. My wife is a death do us part type. So I have a little more leverage than you. When I gave her divorce papers she acted like I was trying to kill her. Personally I go to therapy to find ways to deal with her crazy. My therapist spends a lot of time affirming my opinions. It's great to have a woman to do tha…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/22 03:16 PM
19

Women and their narratives. It took my wife's mother to call her on her shit. I was working sixty hours a week and doing my chores. Never enough. I handed her divorce papers and she did a one eighty. That's the reason I stayed; because I wasn't changing.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/22 03:07 PM
21

She is using the power you are giving her. If you don't start standing up for yourself divorce will be as miserable as the end of your marriage. My wife start I need help bullshit I remind her I'm one foot out the door. It's funny how they leave you for not doing enough, and as soon as you are out the door a new list of shit they need pops up. You have to disengage. I will walk out in the middle of a tantrum without a second thought. In her mind you not doing what she tells you destroyed her mar…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/22 03:01 PM
8

This sounds like my friends story to a tee. He gave her the house he paid off. That he brought for 175 and now is worth 6 hundred grand. He paid so much child support he had to start a bathroom/kitchen remodeling business. She went for more child support, but the judge threw it out. Her and her new husband live in a house with no mortgage. He was still paying 2 grand in child support. Well at least until two months ago. Him and stepdad defend each other, and call her on her shit. He's firmly in …
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/22 09:40 PM
11

Is it only me; people divorce to end the toxic relationship with their Ex, and the only thing that remains is the toxicity. Guys that works for me has the same deal as you. Finds it easier to deal with stepdad. You'd think with all he gave her she would ease up. His oldest just turned eighteen so at least child support is over.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/22 09:14 PM
9

Start documenting missed events; it will only get worse when she starts dating. If money starts getting tight the first thing they look at is your money.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 11:52 PM
8

I think the craziest notion is to love someone more than yourself. I remember when my wife wanted a separation, so I got a divorce settlement offer. She asked me if I love her? I told her I love her more than I could love any other person but not more than me. She thought I loved her more than me. I told I loved her because she added value to my life. Then I asked her how could someone who doesn't want to be in my life add value to it?
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 02:36 AM
1

Worse guilt and regret projects weakness. No woman wants a weak man. The best thing you can do is tell her you are sorry for the destruction of the marriage, but you have decided to forgive yourself. Moving forward I will comply strictly with the law, and stop feeling like you owe her something. You both were in that marriage. You both failed to keep it alive. If you lose the last game of a championship nobody cares about the score. If you stop feeling sorry for yourself she may look at you in a…
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/22 09:13 PM
0

I'm not talking to you because the train you're on there's no getting off. There are points in arguments where you need to stop talking and assess. OP leaned into the argument. Women create narratives and if you give yourself enough time you can disprove it. They ask for counseling give it to them. The therapist destroyed my wife's narratives way better than I could. Every argument reaches a point of no return; as you approach it ask yourself is it worth it. If you aren't unsure shut up and reas…
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/22 09:02 PM
4

Oh they hate when you start losing weight and they can't. At fifty five we weighed the same then thirty five pounds just left me. She thought I was losing weight to leave her.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/22 08:12 PM
3

Dude, I thought I wrote this. Three years ago my wife was creating these narratives of how she was doing everything and she needed help. We already had seventeen years in. She asked for a separation. In these life altering situations I keep my mouth shut, and do calculations. We made about the same amount. My disability benefits more than covered the mortgage and if she was moving to her mom we'd just sell. I went to an attorney and had a settlement drawn up. I don't believe in separation. I tho…
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/22 08:06 PM
3

Don't be surprised if she already has a lawyer. This has all the hallmarks of a classic "Copy and Paste." She's keeping you hopeful as she vets your replacement. He's probably married too, and she's not monkey branching to him and he's never leaving his wife. If he is not married he probably can't provide the lifestyle she has with you; this is worse, because she is trying to see how much you can supplement her lifestyle. Women will give up their man way before they willing sacrifice their quali…
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/22 07:57 PM
8

You will never win the narrative battle with a woman. My wife was one of those you are not doing enough narrative. When she asks for a separation; I went and got a divorce settlement. Then the narrative changed and I all of a sudden I wanted to fuck the women of the PTA. I Showed my teenagers, my in-laws and mom the email requesting a separation. To my in-laws credit they told her marriage was all in or all out. I was ready to let everything go; then came the 180. Suddenly I was the wonderful hu…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/22 09:37 PM
2

If it's amicable don't wait for her to realize your replacement can't afford what you afford. You don't have children. New guy might and they never factor in child support. Divorce will also allow you to see how set she is on leaving. I take you are hopeful for reconciliation. Divorce papers will let you know if there is a chance for that. Take the driver's seat nobody wants to be white nuckling it in the passenger seat.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/22 08:26 PM
6

And don't look; there's always a coworker. That is no longer your concern. Either guilt or desire is fuelling this. Once that train has left the station there's no coming back. Get a lawyer and all communication goes through them. Cut all contact as soon as possible. I mean nothing especially social media. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/22 08:19 PM
2

I think the money saved me from divorce. Wife wanted separation I opted for divorce. She wanted to move across country, and my kids wanted to stay with me.I think she did the math and decided it was cheaper to keep me. I was firm on only paying what the court demanded. She was on that bullshit that I didn't do enough around the house. Still not doing that shit
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/22 06:12 PM
-1

I'm advocating for him to sit down with his Ex and come up with a solution that is palatable to all.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/22 10:53 PM
2

What if staying affects OP'S mental health? What If he needs time and space to heal. Seems like he went all in to marry his Ex, and proximity is having some lasting impact. He is only talking a couple hours away; not another country.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/22 10:10 PM
1

This is pretty judgmental, and this isn't a decision he can make on his own. He needs to sit down with his Ex and work this out. Weekend dads are an American thing, and children have survived it. OP sit down with your Ex, and your son and hash this out. I'm sure grown up conversations can create compromises.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/22 09:49 PM
6

You have to protect your children! Remind your Ex that they have on mother and one father, and you don't see girlfriend's name on custody arrangement anywhere. Tell her you will get a GAL, and revisit custody. I would do this in front of her new partner.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/22 01:04 AM
3

Divorce laws are archaic. They didn't change when the effects of women's liberation started to set in. Could you imagine what the elimination of spousal support would have done to the divorce rate.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/22 01:52 PM
3

Make them aware you love your children and there is nothing you would trade for your time with them. The T in TRO is for temporary; never trade something permanent for something temporary.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/22 01:42 PM
2

Mail is what is used in every school district to prove residency.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/22 12:34 AM
3

Is he getting mail to her house. Normally when they leave their wife for your wife they don't want their mail going to their Ex.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/22 09:02 PM
2

Tell her to get a new job before you agree to separate. Be prepared for the coworker from her part time job pops up. These stories end the same way. She wants to separate; only to try out the loser she works with. You find out and files for divorce. Sell the house your kids won't remember it and your Ex won't appreciate it. Get a lawyer and do what they say.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/22 08:06 PM
3

When I was in; it baffled me guys married for BAQ, and wound up giving every penny to her in the divorce. Seems like it's back to the dorms until you retire. Hopefully you weren't married long enough for her to get a large portion of that. If she had an affair claim PTSD for it. You will get at least thirty percent for it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/22 03:37 PM
2

I'm not saying there is a replacement, but if nothing else makes sense. It makes perfect sense. If it's only for you to fight harder for what you deserve; use it!
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/22 01:54 PM
3

Only thing that makes since is your replacement is loaded, and she wanted to start her new life without you.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/22 02:34 AM
2

They need that money to supplement the loser who she is trying to replace you with.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/22 04:31 PM
2

Don't be surprised when she moves out of your house into a coworkers. Guilt is probably why she is so up and down. When she tells you; tell her you figured. Oh, make sure to keep eyes on your money.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 08:13 PM
3

See an attorney and have papers drawn. Sit her down and talk to her; that this is a get out of jail free card. Tell her you feel you owe her this for the bad years. If anyone asks just say I don't want a divorce; I want her to be happy. You will never defeat the narrative in her head. It's a shame that she won't live with the best version of you, but her narrative is dangerous to you.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 06:12 PM
5

Have the divorce papers drawn quickly. Blindside her. Show apathy even if you don't feel it. One of two things will happen. She'll take you up on your offer, or actually fight for your marriage. Told my wife I didn't believe in separation. When I handed her the papers she nearly shit herself. Three years later we are still together. If I were to agree to separation and one night she felt single I would divorce her anyway, so I trimmed the options.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 05:45 PM
7

Red flags? Third marriage and three kids in tow; she is wrapped in the Soviet national flag. Some people are just leavers.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 09:17 PM
2

Gold digger who found a bigger paycheck. This guy should RUN! I'm guessing her supervisor promise her the world.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 12:55 PM
1

A alcoholic teacher is a janitor away from a SurvivingInfidelity post. Your kids are old enough to choose their best option. Some may tell you divorce her because of the toxicity, but I'm telling you it's the most opportune time to leave. Basic math; best opportunity to avoid child support. Before twenty years and lifetime spousal support.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/22 09:56 PM
1

This is how the plan it. They take your money to supplement their new life. You also should have forced the sell of the house. Instead of your copy and paste acting like he built that shit.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/22 11:02 PM
1

Try therapy and see if anything changes. If she theatens it again have her commited.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/22 09:49 PM
2

Seems like a full make over is in order; including a move.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/22 04:05 PM
3

I totally agree. I was hoping I could save a few of those forty something who got some attention at work and suddenly think the are twenty again.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/22 04:00 PM
2

This post should have been in the Divorce subreddit. Women need to hear this shit.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/22 12:21 PM
2

Seems like you are stuck in your quest to look regular. She understood this and used it to her advantage. Don't be mad at her her narcissism is a defense for getting taken advantage of in the past. Very few people are born narcissist.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/22 04:15 PM
1

Do you think the threat of divorce will force her to get help. But watch out it could backfire.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/22 11:56 PM
5

If you think she was cheating on you in your marriage; what the hell do you think she was doing separation. Whatever you do; don't sign any birth in the next nine months.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/22 06:18 PM
4

Take flowers to her job look around the guy giving you the awkward vibe is her reason. Protect your money even when they don't want you they still want your money.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/22 01:02 PM
1

You probably would have saved the marriage by being an asshole on the house alone. The tend to want to get rid of only you; not the neighborhood and lifestyle you provide. Let them know divorce is living without you all of you. You pay what the court says what the court says. Let the side piece pay the rest. Your daughter should know that the relationship they have with you is what their mother allows.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/22 03:37 PM
2

One year I took a promotion, and didn't know the difference in salary for three months.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/22 10:00 PM
2

The goal is yours to set. I remember a post were OP's caught his wife wife because he found his neighbor named in her therapy journal. They were using her therapist to best break up both families and be together. A lot of betrayed who are in couples counseling; take time to pull the therapist aside and tells them that they are going to divorce. The therapist then switches tactics to help the Wayward cope with their marriage has come to an end.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/22 06:27 PM
2

That was my thinking three years ago. I refuse the separation because I wasn't going to wait for months wondering what she was doing. I thought she was done so I had a settlement drawn up. It made sure both of us would be fine. The kids were teenagers so I figured they would be like whatever. I was totally wrong. My wife had a melt down, so big the kids came to check on her. When she calmed down we talked, and she didn't want a divorce at all. She actually told me the only way I'm leaving her is…
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/22 08:36 PM
4

Have you talked to her about your unhappiness. Does she have any idea that you are at the point of no return. Can you talk to her honestly. You could use couples counseling as a avenue to end your marriage. Most of the time ending a marriage has the same problem as the reason to end it; COMMUNICATION!
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/22 05:34 PM
5

Unlike most of the people here. I don't think your wife is a bad person. You sound like you need a financial planner. Someone who can plot your financial future, and set spending limits. She seems like someone who had no problem investing in you; before your success. If she just needs guidance get it for her.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/22 04:14 PM
1

Normally I would automatically be on your side, but you are in California. She is going to get half of your shit anyway. You make more than thirty grand a month; why not set up an account for her put six grand a month for her to spend as she wishes. It's basically a salary of seventy two grand a year. The money you save from her compulsion spending can be set aside for an bonus. I don't know how long you were married, but a divorce will cost you half, and alimony for a long time. In California i…
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/22 03:53 PM
11

She has probably planning this for a year. When she first says she wants a separation or divorce; go get legal advice. Your lawyer can tell if she has a lawyer. Waiting can get you taken to the cleaners. My wife asked for a separation. By the end of the month I handed her my first settlement offer. We made the same money so she was not offered spousal support. She thought she was entitled to half my disability payments from the VA. She miscalculated. When she realized how little she would be get…
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/22 04:25 AM
2

I'd tell her I'll keep giving her the 600 dollars to show as a reminder of how fucked her life is.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/22 02:46 AM
2

When to give up? On your kids never! I wouldn't even consider giving ground. How do you know that the Crackhead isn't a pedophile. You do understand that they normally start with the mothers, and then start looking at the children. If you don't want to hear those stories when they find you fifteen years from now.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/22 07:54 PM
1

Ten years is cheaper than twenty. I hope you are in a place that caps spousal support.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/22 08:15 PM
13

She sounds like she's strictly for Instagram. Always worrying about how things look instead of noticing how good things are. Sad thing is she'll find husband number two within a year. Hell, he'll probably come from this sub. We may need a registry tagging bad Ex wives.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/22 07:15 PM
4

I'm amazed at her graciousness; she's willing to work on it. She needs to understand this was not mistake. There were a hundred lines crossed for her to get to this place. Worse, you had to sit there pointing each one out. She needs to understand that you don't feel safe with her. She needs to know that you know there only two reasons for her coming back. The other guy didn't want her or couldn't afford her. Don't let this marriage get past ten years. That's a milestone in a lot of places. Even …
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/22 07:04 PM
3

Probably guilt.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/22 03:52 AM
2

Some family are just like that. Did she do something so despicable that she doesn't deserve to have knowledge about your life? My brother went stripper crazy after his divorce; to the point I asked him to stop bringing dates. It pisses him off the his Ex is allowed to bring her girlfriend. My family is one of those if you marry in; you are in for ever.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/22 01:54 AM
2

Ye Ole, I want to be a jet setter but won't do anything to afford a ticket.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/22 08:33 PM
3

My ASSHOLE meter must go over a hundred. In your case I would easily say fuck the kids too. In a world that I am not allowed to choose me; fuck everybody.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/22 05:31 PM
2

Your plan is sound until he/she needs a kidney. I mean you could wait until he/she is eighteen and let your relationship be their choice.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/22 02:09 AM
1

His lawyer probably can, and probably won't. It's not a good look to one up a judge.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/22 09:24 PM
2

Oh, there was and is a lot of good things in my marriage. We have high achieving teenagers who has wanted for nothing. We've great family and adult vacations. We interact with each other's family amazingly. But it's something about the text book American dream. I think it has a hard time competing with social media. As a matter of fact when my wife said she didn't want a divorce, and wanted to work on us. I suggested therapy and an Instagram cleanse for two months. The shit she started nagging a…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/22 08:57 PM
1

I have never let another woman steal any of my attention, and I am not the back up plan type of person. I am totally fine being alone. Every woman has their own brand of crazy. Only you can decide what crazy is right for you. When my wife asked for the divorce I just said okay. When she back tracked I said okay. I knew I would be fine with whatever she decided. She is not the main character in my life. I'm the only person I can't live without. You are about to make a very costly decision. Factor…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/22 08:17 PM
1

He meant a good lawyer. A good lawyer would never let a stay at home parent lose seventy percent custody to a breadwinner. The judge seems to have a bias against men.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/22 07:56 PM
3

Please let similar values win over looks every time. Looks can most definitely be weaponized. My wife tried attention from other men to make me jealous. She thought that since I could fight I would act out. Made it simple for her cross the line and I leave. She learned to play within the lines. Our marriage has bumped up against the brink because of the support part. A few years ago my therapist writing exercises turned into her asking me to write a novel. I thought it would be hard, but it was …
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/22 07:49 PM
1

Hold on, divorce for the bland life you created? Because she talks shit every now and then; seriously? More than seventy percent of divorces are initiated by women. They are copying and pasting men at an alarming rate. I hope this is a vent more than a brag. Because most men don't decide to join this group. Most of us are thrown into it. We are running out of women who believe in the vows they take. It is not her responsibility to make you happy; it's yours. If she broke her vows by all means le…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/22 08:04 PM
3

Why not just get out? It is a admirable goal to serve your country, but there are now other lives involved. It's just as admirable to get out to be in your children's lives. My first job out of high school was a janitor. My ten years in the military I never made more than my first job. In this economy you should thrive in the private sector, or a government job in Utah. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/22 03:09 PM
1

I hope you sit down and talk to him before you write him off. The mental tearing down starts years before she decides to divorce. My wife tried to move the kids across country under the guise I didn't want to spend time with them. She forgot about the two jobs I had to work to keep them in the lifestyle they were accustomed to. Before I knew it I was the hot head who didn't love anyone. I was lucky my oldest came to talk to me. My wife was spreading the narrative that my PTSD made me incapable o…
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/22 07:41 PM
8

Women are always molding men for something. Think about it your Ex molded you for marriage; then she molded you into a husband, and if you are honest she molded you for divorce. My question is what is your friend outwardly molding you for?
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/22 06:47 PM
4

Are you getting how much you aren't contributing. Meeting her emotional needs. My anxiety was high, and I thought every argument was pure manipulation of a narrative. What my wife did not understand was I knew I didn't need her. Was the family better with her there yes, but I knew I would be fine without. It only took me a few days to calm down and stop taking it personally. I knew from lurking here that divorce is a business transaction. I decided to handle my business. As summer closed in I ha…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/22 07:52 PM
49

I hate to say this women today have shelf lives. They are cunning and transactional. Normally she wouldn't toss you aside for this guy who is only offering her pretty points. But she and probably some of her friends have done divorce calculations. She can't afford the lifestyle that both of you afford. That's where the calculations come in. Her plan is to have you supplement her lifestyle; as she copy and paste you. The fact that she let you know she has a boy toy when you were so happily oblivi…
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/22 12:16 AM
2

Acting like nothing bad is happening; will not save anyone from the bad stuff that's happening. I believe you should ease the kids into bad decisions that affect their life. OP can act like the darkness isn't imimet, but a train is about to run through his house. But I agree with you he can do whatever he wants.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/22 09:52 PM
2

Why? To surprise them with divorce. Get them used to a routine. Reality is happening; let them see different looks of future family. Don't wait until mommy has to introduce Jeff.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/22 08:13 PM
1

Personally, I would stop sleeping in a bed with someone I don't trust. I would set up a bedroom couch schedule. Actually I basically moved in the basement.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/22 04:35 PM
1

Never battle the narrative she has built in her head. Her perception of you not being not enough will always beat out the reality of what you do. Unless a therapist can wake her up from the narrative she is doomed. The good news is she will imprint this image on every partner she will have until she realizes that she is perpetuating this fantasy.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/22 07:24 PM
-5

Basic math adds up to fifty six. That's Janet Jackson's age, and definitely cougar range.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/22 11:49 PM
1

You fucked up, and when the mess you created gets hard your first instinct is to bail. Doesn't seem like you are built for marriage. Since your first instinct wasn't to fight to make her feel safe in the relationship; you probably should divorce. Do you have any idea how many men here have been truly fucked over by a lying, cheating woman. You seem to have one of the last good ones left, and you think you deserve a rub tug. Seriously set her free!
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/22 07:16 PM
1

I know your emotions are all over the place, but you can't let her see you week. Women get high off men's weakness, and she will continue to escalate until you are a broken husk of your former self. I know you are broken right now, but prepare yourself for the coworker lover to surface. Take care of yourself; you deserve better, but it's a sign of the times.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/22 02:00 AM
1

Question, is your replacement in place. You don't sound like you wanted to leave, and women rarely leave without a backup plan in place. Your kids being so young, and the amount of time with your children just till you get trained is enormous. If you didn't have children I would have told you to go for it. Children are not good for the mix. I can say it's obvious you are the marrying type, but do not get married in the military. If you decide to go get through training and apply for a transfer t…
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/22 10:31 PM
-1

New Jersey has more in common with California than New York. New York is an at fault state, and let's face it most divorces have a component of adultery. That being said you are going to pay in New Jersey. Most of my friends have second jobs just to supplement the divorce. As for child support I have no problem paying for the children even through college. I draw the line at spousal support, and I got a fair deal on that. I might have had a problem with education if I didn't have a say. My oldes…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/22 01:19 PM
11

You are amicable until side piece shows up. Treat divorce like a business, and your lawyer as a consultant. Follow the expert advice. Everyone wants an amicable divorce; why? Someone is trying to destroy life as you know it, and you want to do it friendly.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/22 01:08 PM
10

My friend found out two years after divorce that his Ex wife's affair was the last seven years of his fifteen years marriage. She was still trying to get more of his pension. Worse is the main reason for the divorce was AP wife found out and he was sleeping at his job. Good thing about finding out for him is he started to play hardball. Her last attempt at his retirement was met with a claim against her 401k. Judge basically said retirement was a wash. She lost 1200 in that deal. Oh, he made her…
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/22 03:03 PM
14

This has been years and probably a coworker in the works. They never say anything until they are ready to push eject. She probably seen a lawyer and has an exit strategy. You are playing catch up; if she is like most women her math is off. Most women I know expected divorce to be there happily ever after, but reality is it is a down grade for everyone. I don't know what to say that would make you protect yourself first and reconcile if possible. I promise your love will turn to hate when you fin…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/22 06:05 PM
2

Could it be her monkey branch wasn't strong. They never do the math up front. Like their boss would be three steps under you at your company. My friend's wife thought her personal trainer was equivalent to her operations manager husband. Worse she thought she was entitled to the same quality of life he lived after the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/22 10:34 PM
8

This started because I wouldn't mind the lawn and do shit like that. I pay people to do that. Once she told me her friends husband did shit for her. My brain can't be compared to other men. I asked if she wanted me to hire him? I think this is where I began to check out. It's been three years and I re-engage since, but you will never see me as one of those my love left my life is over. That is not reality.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/22 03:50 PM
19

This best fits in the Divorce subreddit. The way women talk casually about divorce like it's as easy as a trip to the hair salon. We feel the same shit they do but we made a promise. Personally, I am not against marriage. I am against any relationship that you put anyone above you. You don't have to love someone enough to let them go; you have to love yourself enough to know your life will be amazing as long as you are in it. I remember when my wife wanted to talk about separation. I told her I …
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/22 03:29 PM
4

When small things become big things; the big thing is them. To me at this point I wouldn't care about her reasons; I'd be in protect myself mode. It's okay to see what divorce looks like without pulling the rip cord.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/22 05:27 PM
3

Try the Zocdoc app. The worst part of marriage is arguing a theory they have of you when in reality your thinking is totally different.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/22 02:44 PM
3

When you find yourself in the middle of a moaning battle it'd time to go. What are you talking about rules? First wants to be with someone who has a reliever across the hall. Marriage broke down because the rules of marriage was broken; if a promise in a church doesn't stand up
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/22 01:27 AM
2

Well get the best forensic account you can find. If they find anything it will double the profit of nothing you are getting now.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/22 01:02 AM
1

Why didn't you lawyers get a forensic account. It's what they do.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/22 12:57 AM
2

She's getting half anyway; the amicable part is when she stays away from his retirement
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 11:04 PM
3

Dude, you fell into the friendship gap. Especially with cheaters a post divorce friendship says she wasn't a horrible person. I bet she runs around saying shit like I'll get Allen to do that for me, if it weren't for Allen I never would have gotten that done. Tell her that you are moving to another state; get in a serious relationship, and watch hee freak out. That desire for this level of friendship likely is why you got an amicable divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 07:18 PM
6

It's amazing how they think they can legally get rid of you and their life is supposed to remain the same. Basic math says if I make 200k and you make 50k you can't afford our neighborhood. Even with your affair partner who makes the same as you. Cheat up and keep your hands out of my pockets.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 01:18 AM
2

It's easy to give her everything she wants in divorce; the hard part is living with what she's taken from you post divorce. I don't care if you slept with her mom, and twenty hookers. No one deserves full custody of a child you love. The deal she's offering is the stepdad step in deal. If you don't want to be treated like an uncle to you child; fight for custody. Divorce is not a remove my presence and not my stability action. Everything must go; the entire partnership must be severed. There isn…
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/22 08:53 PM
1

Let me guess affair gone wrong, and you didn't forgive her like she thought you would?
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/22 12:10 AM
2

This seems like a monkey branch. She transported her life from your house to his house.There may be grounds for an abandonment filing. Stop trying to contact her make sure your money goes into an account she doesn't have access to. Do a credit check she probably got a new card on the way out. Don't blame yourself for any of this. Don't be surprised if when you find her she is involved in drugs.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/22 12:02 AM
3

This should be your answer to all such requests. "My lawyer said no."
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/22 03:57 PM
6

Divorce is supposed to be hard. It isn't meant to be amicable. Take love out of the equation and treat it like it is; a legal transaction. Get the best lawyer you can and follow instructions. You and your wife don't seem like you really want to divorce so one of you needs to be scared straight. Three years ago I was in your shoes. Got the settlement drawn up and showed her the numbers. My wife made twenty grand less, so no spousal support and child support was low. When we went over the numbers …
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/22 05:00 PM
1

Every state has a child support calculator I used mine and it gave me confidence to speak to my lawyer. 50% is a none starter.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/22 01:43 AM
1

Pay child support, and save for the children's education. I have friends that won't pay a dime more than is mandatory.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/22 05:47 PM
5

When there is no way forward you have to lean in. Find some apathy; get the paperwork done and let her go. Her making the financial over time spent; means you have a chance. When my wife seen what she would get in child support as compared to my whole check; she balked. Now this only works if there isn't a side piece laying in the cut. Sadly you job gives her the opportunity to have as many affairs as she likes. But if you find that there is someone else do you really want to do the pick me danc…
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/22 05:33 PM
2

Live in a place that limits or caps spousal support.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/22 02:36 PM
2

If you have to get married wait at least until you are thirty five. Too many young men go from their mothers house to marriage. It is imperative that you are self sufficient before you marry. Marriage is only allowing someone to share your life. The moment you need that person, or can't live without her you doom the marriage. You need to contribute more than money. Be able to wash clothes, clean a bathroom, and cook meals. If you allow a woman believe she is doing everything; she will take credi…
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/22 02:34 PM
2

People who know their actions will have consequences; deserve to live in those consequences. If you are going to cheat don't do it with a coworker; when both of your salaries add up to less than half your Ex's salary. Instead of feeling sorry for her you should excel so she will never mess up a good thing again. In teaching moments teach. Personally I'd buy a bigger house, and give my children bigger rooms. Drive a car that let's her and AP know that their bad choices affords you your best life.…
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/22 09:46 PM
4

Places like New York provides round the clock in home elderly care. Do not try to do it alone. Dementia is a beast. My mothers dying wish was for me to take care of my grandmother. It was a twenty five year commitment. She lived to ninety-nine. My family worship me for the commitment, but it's not for everyone. It took work to get any of my siblings to help.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/22 01:13 AM
2

It seems like she makes poor life affirming decisions. I really can't see how letting this woman stay in your life would not make your life worse. I'm taking it she is one of those who looks get her into places she doesn't belong, but her character never lets her stay. Where the hell is the person she cheated with? Why can't you drop her and the kids off at his house? Take a week to figure out child support, and sign her up for government assistance housing. That's what women in her situation do…
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/22 06:31 PM
1

It's aways better coming from you. Don't let anyone especially your Ex be the one to clue them in. They deserve to hear I from you. They will always expect you to be the man they raised. Not a man afraid of the truth, but man who faces it. A man who still plans his best life even after something embarrassing happen.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/22 09:08 PM
2

Apathy comes a lot easier when you decide to choose yourself. You are the main character in your life, she can be replaced. As a matter of fact anyone who doesn't add value should not be allowed in your life. Oh, odds are this is a classic monkey branch. The guy on paper doesn't meet your quality, so she will ease him into her life. Luckily for you she realizes as a man he cannot replaced you. You are probably a better father figure, and provider, but her heart wants what it wants. In normal ter…
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/22 07:54 PM
2

If at teenagers they are choosing AP; at this point I am saving myself. If all I am is a pay check; they can have a grand but nothing more. I would fight for babies, but if teenagers they pick their mothers fuckery the can have it, but not a penny more. Hell I'd move somewhere better for my mental health. If they wanted to see me I'd pay for that, and if not it's a grand it is.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/22 02:24 AM
3

That's probably why she came running back. Apathy is Kryptonite for attention seekers. What struck me in the Amber vs Johnny was when he said "You will never have my eyes again." Then he made an effort never look at her again. I think that was the moment that broke her, and made her do things where he had to be in her presence.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/22 06:22 PM
1

Something about reading your story made me think of the father who went to pick up his children, and was shot by the new husband. It was recorded and truly showed the worse possible outcome of an affair.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/22 06:13 PM
2

Be careful AP sounds like a piece of work. Her going back to him gives him in his mind authority over all aspects of her life. That includes your children. Don't be surprised when coparenting becomes so toxic that it is beyond difficult. You may need at some point document all interactions with them when it comes to your children.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/22 05:56 PM
1

I really don't understand why you guys keep fighting for toys someone else broke. I could see if you were having sex once a day, but two or more kids it's twice a month if you are lucky. An escort twice a month would save you a few grand a month. Then you attach yourself to kids that you will enevitably have to detach yourself from. Worse divorce costs you the same amount as the rest of us, and her lawyer is on speed dial.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/22 03:45 PM
5

I agree with the monkey branching; she is not sure about the coworker. She is probably doing a lateral move from her, and down from you. That or they are figuring out his child support to see how much of your money they will need to stay in your neighborhood. Cut her off of everything, especially money. Make her pay her own way until the courts say otherwise. Cut the money off, and you will find where you really stand
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/22 03:20 PM
3

She said she wanted it until the actual paperwork was in front of her. That was three years ago. My wife did so much around the house that she didn't think I could live without her. I'm an old Vet, and the only person I need in my life is me. I did the math and decided to stay. She knows now to tread carefully with me, and it's working. Still every now again I crave that unadulterated peace of being alone. To her credit she went to therapy and put in some work. She still nags but not to the poin…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/22 11:12 PM
16

For your own mental health do not have any contact with this woman again. Seems like she gets off on your misery. Lesson to all men no woman wants to see your vulnerable side; unless she wants to laugh at you later.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/22 09:45 PM
3

Who is afraid of the guy? If he didn't know this would be an eventual consequence fuck him. If you are afraid of life maybe people should walk all over you.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/22 03:50 PM
2

She seems monkey branching to her therapist or someone. Sometimes they get a therapist solely to figure out how to leave the relationship. But if it was the therapist and you can prove it your Ex would cost him his license. I mean if a PI could get you proof that it's the therapist; that's a truck load of leverage.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/22 11:35 PM
1

If your Ex makes 40 and you make 160 that means having sex sex with a loser cost her three quarters of the household income. When my wife seen that she was only going to get two grand of the seven I usually bring home she did a complete one eighty. Three years later still married, but my wife never cheated. She was entitled to thirty five percent of my retirement.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/22 09:27 PM
1

I Googled the one I used in New Jersey, and it was pretty on spot on. My wife makes less than ten grand less so the lawyer said spousal support was a wash. She couldn't touch my VA disability, so child support was all I had to pay. When she saw it was only two grand that ended her big independent moment. Your Ex chased three quarters of the house income to Europe. My wife wasn't that brave.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/22 09:18 PM
2

Why didn't you use the Georgia child support calculator on line?
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/22 08:55 PM
2

Reading some posts like this I wish women would disappear with AP for a few years. Giving the husband time to divorce, and she can't touch anything. In my book cheaters don't deserve anything from a betrayed spouse. She wants retirement, well get it from boy toy. If the courts stop rewarding abhorrent behavior, maybe people will think before they do something stupid.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/22 12:19 AM
5

Take the money and run. Either she is fed up or this is a upswing monkey, so either way you are screwed. Odds are she's caught the eye of a wealthy older man; because women rarely want to leave a man with enough to live on, and she is being generous. The only reason for that is a more lucrative opportunity is on the table. His wife probably found out and he's getting divorced, and your wife probably would rather irreconcilable differences over she had an affair and leaving because of it. I under…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 10:58 PM
2

All the guys who go straight into reconciliation makes women think all men are like that. She probably thought that after seventeen years she deserved for you to play like nothing happened. You punishment for forcing her to come out is to make it hard as possible to see your children.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 02:35 PM
3

This sounds like she knew all along. She first needed you as a beard, and then they realized they wanted children. You probably worked too much to notice, but this was a long term plan. Once you finally caught her the gloves were off, and you were one man against a team. I would keep away from any situation accidents can happen. Oh, I hope you had the common sense to have your lawyer change your insurance beneficiary.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 11:53 AM
4

Next time law enforcement laughs at you for being abused; tell them you'd rather be laughed by them, than be taken to the cleaners in family court.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/22 03:57 PM
1

You forgot law enforcement.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/22 12:46 PM
1

I watched MSNBC last night and they was treating this case like a liberal vs conservative issue. This is a men's issue. This a character issue. Just as important women of abuse should be Heard; women who lie about such abuse should be called to account. She recorded his every conversation; every outlandish out burst for more than a year, but no actual acts of violence towards anyone. The relationship was toxic on both sides. She got out of the relationship unscathed, but the opportunistic part o…
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/22 02:59 PM
3

Affair Partner
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/22 03:30 AM
11

She's been checked out of the marriage for at least half of it. I hate to be stereotypical; but health care professionals are notorious for affairs with co-workers. I'm guessing it was more to her; than for it was for him. Whatever the case; it's hard to see where you will ever be a priority again. I mean you could blindside her with divorce papers that may wake her from the fog, but you need to go hard or go home.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/22 01:04 AM
20

Her just asking for separation would move me into divorce mode. This seems like a monkey branch, but she doesn't know how strong the other limb is. She is not sure if he can maintain the quality of life you afford her, and odds are she needs to be sure he will leave his wife. My friend's wife had a seven year plan. Didn't want to get divorced until she could get half his pension. Her affair was going on five years before. Her affair partner was married with children and his wife found out and to…
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/22 12:38 AM
3

The pastor was probably an AP. Personally I would have gotten a paternity test to see of I could fully excavate myself entirely from this shitshow.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/22 10:49 PM
13

He now has the ability to resurrect his career. He won in the court of public opinion way before the verdict was read. The fact that she recorded everything he said and done; without recording any violence perpetrated on her speaks volumes. I find it sad that married independent women need to stoop to these tactics to take men's money, or take their children. Her cheating was so blatant. Why would these men stupidly go to his house. I know she was doing it to emasculate Johnny.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/22 09:50 PM
1

Try Las Vegas. It's adult and so many things to do you won't feel alone.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/22 10:47 PM
6

Why are men still marrying recycled women? Even if the divorce wasn't her fault, or her choice they are damaged from the experience. It's hard enough to deal with the bullshit of a woman with no baggage. Women are pulling the eject cord at in credible rate. It just doesn't seem logical to take on someone with so much baggage. Fucking them is a lot different than marrying them. No woman deserves two weddings.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/22 09:08 PM
2

Cheating complicates coparenting. I think Ap's should be forced to marry Cheating spouses to end spousal support. I can live with a woman leaving me, but to reward a cheater with my money is an abomination to humanity.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 04:31 PM
21

I believe any country that eliminates support will cut divorces by women by more than half. Child support should only be if one parent cannot or will not participate in the child's life. Spousal support should be completely be eliminated. No one should have should have to subsidize another adults life.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/22 10:08 PM
2

Whatever your sex life is before marriage cut that in half when she has a kid. Mathematically you have no wiggle room. Personally I would get a new job preferably in a new town, and break up. You think she is controlling now, wait until the boy toy enters the picture. Sex three times a year guarantees a boy toy in your future. Worse than that; that kind of control means you will be doing the pick-me dance for years. Just reading your story; I know you caught her cheating already. Sorry Dude save…
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/22 03:12 PM
1

Don't offer information, but be truthful when asked. Only the people closest to you will pick up enough to ask. Once you have told three people the rumor mill will take care of the rest. You only really have to make a pronouncements if your spouse will try to spin the story. So affair, or financial betrayal yell from the rooftops. For you grew apart or you are not attracted to each other; you have no rush.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/22 06:42 PM
3

Fighting for your marriage is a myth. When a woman is fed up, or she fucked up; exit strategy is as far as she can think. Often fighting for the marriage makes a man look weak. No woman wants a weak man.That is why they are so lazer focused on your money. AP from the loading dock can't afford your quality of life. When my wife said she wanted out. By the end of the month a gave her the packet to sign. She never signed. I guess seeing me happy with someone else. At least she did a one eighty. Thr…
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/22 07:38 PM
21

The mathematics of divorce is undisputable. Seventy percent of divorces are initiated by women. Does this number mean that men are more happy in marriage. No! It means we are more tolerant of the Bullshit. They spend their time watching Lifetime, but they try to mold us to Hallmark.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/22 12:32 PM
4

Why can't you just tell her that you are no longer making legal decisions, so her lawyer can call your lawyer. You need to get use to not communicating with her. If you have kids get a parenting app. If you could have stayed friends you wouldn't be getting a divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/22 07:12 PM
1

Nobody can sort anything out in a separation but other people. One of you will never get over the guy she sees during the separation.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/22 01:22 PM
2

Hold on! You live in California and you are willing to pay extra before divorce. Are you serious? Do you know any man divorced in California? Because I live in Jersey and California is the only state that makes me think we are not the most screwed in the United States. Divorce is a business transaction; don't give anything before, because it might become permanent. Let the court decide what is fair, and pay only that. Do not wait until you find out you are subsidizing her life with a loser. Beca…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/22 03:41 PM
3

Guys if they want to leave and are willing to allow you to keep your money take it. If they offer a great custody deal take it. She is going to leave anyway; anything her guilt is willing to leave you take it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/22 06:50 PM
1

I found when all is gone, and all you have is you; you still have the main ingredient for a great life. Anything you don't like now is the time to change. Next only add people who add value to your life. You are the main character and everyone else is expendable.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/22 06:12 PM
1

I found when all is gone, and all you have is you; you still have the main ingredient for a great life. Anything you don't like now is the time to change. Next only add people who add value to your life. You are the main character and everyone else is expendable.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/22 06:12 PM
2

I found when all is gone, and all you have is you; you still have the main ingredient for a great life. Anything you don't like now is the time to change. Next only add people who add value to your life. You are the main character and everyone else is expendable.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/22 06:11 PM
2

When they say SEPARATION prepare for divorce. It's basically a hallpass to sleep with her coworker.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/22 09:15 PM
9

We had a big blow up about finances. She uttered the D word. My friend gave me his Ex wife's attorney number. I was amazed at how easy marriage could become a transaction. We made about the same amount, so I figured sell the house split everything down the middle and the child support calculator spit out an affordable number. My wife thought we were having a don't talk after an argument. She almost passed out when I showed her the packet the attorney gave me. I moved in the basement and we didn'…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 09:48 PM
2

I'm not built to love anyone more than myself. I can love a woman as much as I can love another person, but no one comes close to me. Personally, I feel everyone in my life plays a part, but I am the only character who needs to be there. People are in my life must add value to it or I will cut them loose. If you bring adversity to my life, or I must be a weaker version of myself to be with you; I'd rather be alone.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 01:16 AM
8

Probably found out she's not the catch she thought she was. My last trip to Vegas had to tell a woman she wouldn't make the cut in a hundred years.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/22 05:27 PM
4

He's married to his job, yet you divorce in his retirement years. It's amazing how long they can live with the little shit until a coworker smiles at them. Then everything you do is reason for divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/22 02:44 PM
2

Your Ex went to see if the grass was greener; probably with a coworker, and it wasn't. He probably feels he didn't cheat on you because he divorced you to be with her. Now he's hell bent on winning you back. It also seems that he doesn't have the social skills to pick up women. I'm guessing he met you in high school, or college that doesn't prepare men for picking up women. So after coworker he probably struck out at dating. Marriage leaves men ill prepared for dating. Because your wife demands …
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/22 10:23 PM
3

If you are going to get married; do it after thirty five. Maturity is a must for marriage. Those guys who get married before twenty five are destined for FOMO, by one or both of the couple. Both should have experienced other people. Set your boundaries upfront. It's amazing how cheating spouses a surprised by divorce. Your triggers for divorce should be made known well before you get married. Split the bills. Don't marry a housewife. The more she makes the less money she can take from you. I fil…
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/22 03:20 PM
5

Uncontested in New Jersey three to four months. But your wife doesn't seem like the amicable type. I'm almost thirty years older than you. A few years ago my wife started using that threat. As soon as my wife saw the settlement she changed her tune. I'm type of guy that just wants peace so I gave her a chance. To her credit she changed a lot. But to be honest if my eldest didn't get into a very expensive college I probably would be divorced right now.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/22 01:12 AM
1

I'd say "I'll stop doing what I want when she stops speaking of me period." What are they worried about you aren't trying to steal his wife?
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/22 12:16 AM
2

Seems like a Monkey Branch fail. I don't know if she was dumped or realized he can't give her the quality of life you afforded. If she was dumped she is trying to show him she is worth something by getting you to take her back; after all the shit she did to you.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/22 10:05 PM
4

Two years dead bedroom? I doubt you were the only one who cheated. Too many times a woman cheating creates a dead bedroom. Women seem to find it hard to be loyal to two men. The husband is rarely the guy she is loyal to.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/22 09:52 PM
2

You should talk to a lawyer. Because I would have a problem paying spousal support, and her business is not up for discussion.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/22 07:33 PM
15

We hit the sixteen year mark and she went into full nagging mode. Her voice seemed to affect my blood pressure. She always wanted what she wants, and I'm not a flexible man. She would try to guilt me into shit; I came from nothing and we have a lot. So that type of manipulation doesn't work on me. I had the papers drawn up. My wife like yours was against divorce. Jamaica was her last ditch effort. The first few days was sex, food, drinks, and the beach. Eventually we talked about the hard stuff.…
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/22 04:43 PM
3

Five years? How many exotic adult vacations in that time. Seven days of waking up to sun rises, eating meals together, and bonding physically. If time together without pressure of another person doesn't help you might want to push the button.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/22 04:00 PM
3

Prepare yourself the fog will lift from her, and affair relationships never last. The first stop she make after he dumps her will be to you. She will try to prove to him that she is worth something; by getting you to take her back after all she's done. Do whatever is best for you and your children.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/22 12:58 PM
2

Seriously, a cosmetology student wants a divorce from a lawyer; look up the definition of monkey branching. She has found some big dick loser, and needs you to supplement her lifestyle. Trust me you will hate yourself if you agree to anything more than required. Shit, I predict she'll call off the divorce if you stand firm on not providing anything extra. She has basically asked to be independent of you; show her what that actually is. Use the spousal support to spoil the people in this equation…
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/22 12:26 PM
2

She is not being mental; she is being herself. She has successfully hid who she really is for twelve years. No one can keep up the facade forever. Finding out at twelve is better than twenty. Focus on being a good dad and trust me the craziness will calm down on your part, and stop paying her attention. She is feeding on your dispair. Try getting your emotional state to apathy. You are in the save the family mode. You need to be on save myself, to save my children mode.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/22 10:26 PM
2

A few years ago my wife uttered divorce. First thing I did was speak to an attorney. Then I checked all the phone bills to see if she was having an affair. Even looked in her phone. After I found nothing I had my lawyer draw up a fair divorce settlement. When I presented it to her she freaked out. She thought that we were just talking about it. I told her either I'm all the way in or all the way out. All of a sudden she wants counseling. Which was her putting all the blame on me, and trying to g…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/22 10:15 PM
2

Sounds like an optics person. She wanted to look like her marriage was successful, and when she blew that up; wants it to look like she successfully maintained her quality of life. You begin two steps ahead of her has her confused. Once you remove the pedestal, and you look them in their eyes they are confused. They are confused that you are serious about your life. Wait until she realizes half the equity probably won't by a house. Especially like the marital home. Wait until her lawyer tells he…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/22 12:17 AM
2

She has to make you look bad, so when she moves AP in she won't look as shitty as she actually is. Kids are not stupid; she can lie for a little while, but eventually they will start calling her out on her shit. I wish you could say "Your Mother is just Dick drunk."
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/22 10:09 PM
13

She doesn't want a divorce. She really doesn't want you. She wants to maintain her lifestyle and fuck AP. Now AP can't afford your lifestyle, it's the only reason she wants to stay. Not divorcing now; only gives her time to figure out a way to have you supplement her lifestyle after a divorce. You think just saying divorce makes everything go back to normal. Normal is her cheating on you until she gets caught. Hearing the words divorce does nothing. Dude, the need to see the papers. They need to…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/22 09:43 PM
1

If she asked for, and there's proof of an inappropriate relationship equals scortched earth.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/22 07:08 PM
11

Don't marry refurbished women. I know the idea of a ready-made family is tempting, but you get a bunch of someone else problems.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/22 08:32 PM
5

She's basically moved in with her coworker. She is not finding herself or trying to save your relationship. What she is doing is keeping you so busy you don't notice she's hired a lawyer and is planning to clean your clock. Get out of the reconciliation fog quickly; before reality comes.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/22 09:53 PM
1

If women initiate eighty percent of divorces what do you expect them to say. They call themselves equal, but everything about a relationship with them is totally runs contrary to this. Men do help around the house; men who wives bring financial gains to the relationship. Sorry SAHP is a dated archetype. My mother was a house wife and it was fine for that generation. The time for princesses is over.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/22 04:44 PM
3

Take time to evaluate yourself. Take stock of how much is love and missing her, and how much of these feelings are fear of failure. You can live without her. Your story sounds like guilt driven exit strategy. She is embarrassed of her affair. She was on the fence; probably because lover boy makes what she makes. That probably doesn't afford her the same lifestyle you provide. That in mind you need good legal representation she is probably working a strategy to have you supplement her lifestyle. …
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/22 03:19 PM
6

Separation equals fuck fest. Is it possible you can have divorce papers. Shit that happens during a separation only serve to make the marriage worse. Every friend that has agreed to separation; the person who asked for it cheated. They all felt like they were on a friend's break. Anyone a married person sleeps with on a break is still a breaking marriage vows. I don't do breaks; I do break ups, and I never date backwards.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/22 02:46 AM
0

Any man that is persuaded by this article doesn't deserve a woman.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/22 04:20 PM
1

She should be the smartest woman in the world, with that many books.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/22 04:08 AM
1

Ouch!" The thing about monkey branching AP always look like the best option before you get caught. Divorce requires some soul searching. Some guys can only offer Dick. The reason she doesn't want to apologize because then she'd have to admit shit. I think she finally did the math. They never do the math before the affair. My friend's wife started messing with a guy at work. My friend did same as you. The court could not calculate the money from his side business, so she got a lot less than she t…
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/22 07:10 PM
1

Leftovers is good, and you are now allowed to date.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/22 05:15 PM
1

Sounds like cold feet. Her exit strategy is not panning out the way she planned. My wife wife was only getting a quarter of what she planned. She did a one eighty, and since we were already in a forever marriage I stayed.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/22 05:13 PM
3

My wife realized how much I gave her and how much I had to give her. She had a change of heart. She did a one eighty. Three years later we are still married. She thought I didn't put in enough effort. I guess money is effort. At twenty years it is actually cheaper to keep her.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/22 04:41 PM
3

Broccoli as most vegetables can be steamed in the microwave. Add salt and garlic to taste. Simple spaghetti; bring water to a boil, and boil noodles 10 to 15 minutes. Chop a pepper and onions. Add them to a browning ground meat and add a jar of sauce. Instagram and Facebook has a lot of step by step recipes. When I was in the military I would call my mother to walk me through recipes. It gives your mom a half hour to a hour of spending time with you. They absolutely love that. The right applianc…
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/22 02:45 PM
3

Sounds like he really didn't have a say.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/22 12:47 AM
2

I mean you could burn it all down. Divorce, move to another state, and get a will that leaves everything to charity. When my wife uttered the divorce I knew we would have to sell everything, and I'd have to pay child support. All because she wanted to be a handyman. We make about the same; before my disability from the VA, and that can't be touched. She was going to get 35% of my money instead of the 80% percent she was getting. After the lawyer broke it down to her she did a 180 in a good way. …
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/22 12:44 AM
3

Who's money is supplementing their lifestyle; yours or hers. Because you could take half of everything out of the bank, and change the rules to the game.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/22 12:26 AM
2

Do they understand that they are causing the end of your marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/22 12:11 AM
3

275K means you can afford to have your Ex move near you. Vacation dad winds up an honorary uncle. With mom's boyfriend being dad. Just stay out of her relationships, and in your child's life.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/22 05:12 PM
2

Why is it that women never leave men who will easily let them go? A few years ago my uttered the "I don't think we are going to make it" I slept on it, and the next day I said okay. I told her I'll do all of the dirty work, but she had to tell the kids. I found an attorney gave him our financials, and let him do calculations for an amicable divorce. I had him create a poison pill package too. Our salary were similar, and he said she couldn't touch my VA disability. I floated child support and sh…
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/22 10:28 PM
29

70 percent of all American divorces are initiated by women. You do the math.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/22 03:15 AM
2

I came here when my wife uttered divorce. She was constantly nagging and pointing out shit her friends husband did for them. Things my friend doesn't have to go to the dealership; her husband does that. Now I brought her car and never drive her car. Her friend had to buy her own car; because hubby is cash strapped in child support. Now if I don't want to do something there are not many people who can talk me into it. So we went to a lawyer showed him our financials. He found thirty grand of cred…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 07:44 PM
3

They always care, but something inside them is broken. Unless you can blame yourself for how they were raised; it doesn't have anything to do with you. The world is fucked up. Parents, friends make shitty people.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 12:13 PM
2

It basically is doing the opposite of what you were doing to win her back. Stop compliments. Don't call; a short text if necessary. Keep conversations short with no pleasantries. Basically let the relationship go in your head. If she does a 180 then she can you can allow to earn back your trust, but if not you will be prepared to let go. Sorry you have to specify "The 180 Divorce"
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 02:33 AM
5

They sure know how to pick them.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 02:20 AM
9

First let me say radical feminist are earners. They know their value and go get it. Just guessing, but your wife seems like she had a failed monkey branch attempt. The fact that her behavior changed after she got a job I am guessing a coworker. She is not mad at you; she is angry at herself, but it is easier to lash out at you. Look up 180 on YouTube. The faster you find indifference; the faster she cuts the Bullshit. You seem like a nice guy, but nice guys their assholes ripped in divorce. Get …
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 09:20 PM
5

Let me guess the guy she is trying to replace you with has his own child support issues. My friend's wife underestimated how much she was going to get. The judge cut thirty grand from her share of the equity; gave that to my friend for the home improvements he had made. Then she miscalculated how much of his pension she was entitled to. The loser she got well his Ex was a SAHM and they had three kids. She traded a four bedroom home for a one bedroom apartment. Her boyfriend boyfriend doesn't hav…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 09:00 PM
10

I knew your wife cheated in the second paragraph; way before towards the end when you said it. This incident needs to be his whole next therapy session. He sees her as tainted. As the person who destroyed his family. The way he is reacting is a direct consequence of her affair. Please don't tell me she was stupid enough to still be with her AP or have him around her son. Children who love their father will always rebel against "Copy and Paste" monkey branching. What can you do. You have to sit d…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 07:42 PM
2

You will be alright.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/22 11:41 PM
2

It's like she has two jobs teaching, and divorcing well. I like how level headed you are being. I live in Jersey married sixteen years when she uttered the D word. She wasn't getting her way. I'm a doors always open type of guy. Saw an attorney he did the numbers then she balked when we were told that we had to sell the house. She thought I would let her keep my equity. She only made thirty grand less so spousal support wasn't as bad. Child support and the pension hit would have had me working l…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/22 11:16 PM
4

Aside from the fact that she not smart enough to avoid the cameras; what she said is true. What your lawyer said is true. All you can do is adjust your attitude to get it over. I mean you can look at divorce as what she is doing to you, or you can look at as something you are doing for you. Rarely do we get to get a peak behind the curtains to see who they really are. It took my friend three years after the divorce to find out that his wife was sleeping with his married coworker five years befor…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/22 08:32 PM
2

Wait until after the divorce. Buy a mother's day card, and print your proof; insert it in a card. Return address should be from someone who is keeping her secret. Mail it from a nearby town that has no connections to you. If you do this before the divorce it will negatively impact your divorce. At this point you shouldn't do anything but what your lawyer advises.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/22 05:09 PM
1

I hope it helped.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/22 01:21 AM
5

Most men really don't know the real reason they are getting divorced. My friend's wife started treating him like shit. Went straight to divorce. But not before he cosigned on a brand new SUV He did the pick-me dance for six months then he gave in. She was trying to take everything, but his lawyer saved his ass. It took a year but she got her divorce; just not as much of his pension. Three years after his divorce he found out why he really got divorced. His wife was fucking one of his friends for…
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/22 10:35 PM
2

I have PTSD and luckily my wife had a family meeting where my children and her told me how the were beginning to be frightened of me. I found a therapist and Psychologist that worked together to have me diagnosed. The treatment they gave me saved my life and my family. I had undiagnosed PTSD from my military days. It was under control when I had a job where I didn't have to interact with too many people. I took a promotion and I was getting shit on by the people working for me and above me. I co…
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/22 12:31 AM
2

Before you decide anything see a therapist for like six months.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/22 01:52 AM
1

Anything that doesn't kill should make you stronger. Find a way to use this to make you stronger. Who hits a home run after years of sitting on the bench. Dust yourself off and go on another date with no expectations of it going anywhere. I get it you liked the stability of marriage, but it is more important to get it right.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/22 12:05 AM
6

So theoretically a woman who first gets married married at twenty she can have up to four Ex husbands on the hook for social security.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/22 10:09 PM
1

If it isn't affecting either of your incomes; why wait. I'm sure she has probably been in love with him before you married, so she'll probably go ballistic in the divorce. If you have a good lawyer go for it. People make a lot of mistakes while going ballistic.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/22 05:46 PM
1

I could see rent, but she would've starved if you ⁰where me. My wife knows she says some bullshit like that I'd rent her a two bedroom for six months and kick her ass out. I have a hefty if something happens fund that she has no access. I noticed the guys who first instinct is tell women to kick rocks; don't have woman problems. My wife is a pain in the ass, but she knows my limit. The door has been opened the last twenty years. My rainy day fund began as a five thousand fund for her to move bac…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/22 11:01 PM
2

When you do the taxes one of the first question they ask is can someone else claim the dependent. Then they ask how much time did the dependent stay at your home. She lied on both.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/22 06:45 PM
2

If it wasn't enough she wouldn't be contacting you. She underestimated her situation; then she underestimated the amount you lost could never be made up by adding her back into your life. The tingles causes a lot of miscalculation; that's why divorcing them in the fog is always best for you.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 08:20 PM
2

How does the tingles always turn off the brain? They have to know what they will have to leave is far better that their married coworker/ boss can offer. Worse, at least coworker has a job; that guy at the gym job is picking up middle aged women at the gym. You my friend cut cancer out of your life. Let her live the fantasy she created.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 08:03 PM
3

Not trying to look too far ahead. That's what divorce is; getting your ducks in a row, and shooting them down. Never completing a step without understanding the next step. Now if you want to start over with nothing that's fine. However, if you want some of what you put in; you might want to act like this is a divorce. I assure you that she has been looking very far ahead for a long time. Love to woman is a direct correlation to what you provide. Once you don't provide enough or someone else can …
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 12:16 AM
2

A divorce is a business transaction. Take away all the emotion and make this about saving your financial future. Be wise in your actions and you should easily recover.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/22 02:52 PM
5

If she wants a divorce under five years in is an automatic jump ship. What it means is she is more comfortable with who she is then who she had to be to get you. Chalk it up to you really never knew her, and the person she is trying to show you now is not what you signed up for. Don't be that drug dealer who after getting a get out of jail for free card; only to go back to the same life that landed him in jail in the first place.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/22 02:26 PM
3

Time to give her the Actions/ Consequences talk. Then tell her to go enjoy the freedom that she worked so hard to earn.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/22 08:23 PM
2

You seem way more mature than my nephew; he's in a gang unit. It amazes me how many strippers can one man go through.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/22 06:23 PM
9

This case it seems apathy is your fastest route to happiness. I didn't get married until I was thirty eight, and I'd advise you to at least wait until you are thirty five. She is not a horrible person just not mature enough to be in a serious relationship. Most of my police friends married to early only later to regret it. Let her go and go directly to no contact. If you don't cut her off entirely; she will always try and worm her way back in your life. Women only should get to show disrespect o…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/22 06:00 PM
3

You are in the; love you but not in love with you fase. You have to cut her lose. Her behavior meets all the markers of incredible guilt. Odds are whoever she is monkey branching to is in a relationship also. They plan to let you and Affair Partner SO go at the same time. Those dates you went on and talks of restarting your relationship are due to whoever she plans to leave you for is getting colder feet. My question to you is "Do you want to live?" If so you have to let your marriage go. You ha…
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/22 10:13 PM
1

DH also could be Devoted Husband. In her mind being faithful may be seen as a weakness.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/22 09:47 PM
6

Make her get a job. Stop giving a fuck about everything about her. Get yourself to a lawyer see what divorce looks like. Whatever you lose is better than now. She settled on you; no, she settled on your money. Take as much as you can. Unless you are in a at fault state don't worry about her vagina. I don't care how beautiful she is see through to her toxicity; because that's ugly. Get out before alimony costs you more. The longer your marriage the longer you pay it. Do not allow this marriage re…
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/22 02:51 AM
6

I know a teacher that worked until her Ex husband died. I mean the next month after he died she was gone.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/22 11:08 PM
9

Don't take the blame; blame it on Kpop. Dude she wasn't unhappy for three years. She was unhappy when she made her new friends or one in particular. Wait until after the divorce, and see how she will really be unhappy. Especially if you let yourself survive. Oh, and the real reason she wants to divorce will eventually come out. My buddy took three years to find out the true reason for his divorce. A buddy at his part time job was sleeping with his wife for seven years. His wife wife waited four …
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/22 02:56 AM
1

First: mistake you should always be your best friend. Second: you can love your wife as much as you can love another person, just not you. Nobody else, but you in your life comes with a guarantee. The guarantee is people can be shity, and you have no idea what is going on in their head. If you really don't want to lose everything find a good lawyer now. Prepare for her to try to destroy you. If you think cheating on you and leaving you is bad. Wait until her lawyer has you subsidizing her new li…
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/22 12:52 AM
15

They do by miss calculations of AP. You they know you; destroying you is cold, calculated and affective. Her AP on the other hand is in the honeymoon stages. She only knows what he shows her and promised her. The problem with affairs is if you can be so believable lying to your SO it is a lot easier lying to AP. She is looking at him and his life as it is; not accounting for his divorce and how it changes everything. Hell if you stand up for yourself she can't account how much she will lose in d…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/22 02:37 PM
3

I hope there's no children in this. Not only do they want to be friends; wait until she asks you to be friends with your replacement.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/22 09:30 PM
7

Moving and the Air Force are great places to mend a a broken heart. The military is a great distraction from love. You are constantly in motion; exercising and learning the multitude of mundane tasks. Most guys go in with a girlfriend or a wife only to get a Dear John before their training ends. Is far as the end of your marriage feels like death; it should feel like that. Put a tombstone on it, and grieve it. You are getting the luxury of distance; you will never forget her but allow yourself a…
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/22 09:04 PM
13

Why can't they just be merciful and put you out of our misery right away. They knew their decision was final the moment they hinted at it. Separation is just to give them time to get their shit together. That's why the person who asks for the divorce always seems like they are living their best lives after. Could you imagine how far ahead you would be if you burned it all down the moment you got the "I love you, but I'm not in love with you speach." What right does she has to a comfortable and b…
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/22 08:21 PM
45

Let me guess; even when you are there her life is on her phone. Sex totally stopped in the last six months. You can't do anything right. Sounds like a monkey branch. Don't ask her she will only lie. Her plans started months ago; get on board divorce is happening. Go speak to an attorney tomorrow. Be prepared to protect your money. Her affair doesn't concern you, and worrying about it will only lead to your failure. She doesn't hate you because something you did; she hates you because something s…
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/22 03:48 PM
2

I joined this sub a few years ago as a lurker. Wife had been nagging me for a couple years, and then hit me with a "I don't see us lasting". I never asked why. We made about the same money, so I consulted a lawyer to see what divorce looks like. He did the child support calculator and I went home with the biggest smile on my face. Child support wasn't half a check, and I was taking a couple hundred a month. I got home and told I spoke with an attorney and the color drained from her face. Talk ab…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/22 12:09 AM
13

Not an asshole. Could it be that the reduced contact with your Ex is just that appealing. She doesn't seem pleasant.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/22 11:49 PM
1

I'm calling of divorce; it's crazy out there!
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/22 11:35 PM
5

Let her go; she'll be married so fast your head will spin. Women stay in bad marriages UT plan B comes along. Your marriage doesn't sound bad. Let her go and turn off your heart; because you're about to be put on a rollercoaster.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/22 11:08 PM
3

A simple Shithead Bitch will suffice.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/22 01:17 AM
13

Very few of these stories don't end without husband number two popping out when the ink is dry. Your wife seems smarter than you that is reason enough to have your own lawyer. The fact that she had a lawyer handle everything for you makes me think she may be hiding something. Did you try counseling if there truly no one else in the equation it seems like you can work through this.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 08:30 PM
3

Make yourself your everything. If you would have done that before you married you probably wouldn't be going through this. Always love yourself the most; now you can love your spouse more than any other person, but never more than yourself. The sad puppy look says I can divorce you fuck you over for twenty years, and come back after all other suitors dry up. I'm not one of those Alfa avoid relationship men, but I do believe keep only the people who fit in your life. When their life becomes a pri…
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/22 09:34 PM
2

"Nine years" in a lot of places ten years is a milestone. You need to look up marriage milestones where you live. The difference in a year can be costly as hell. Marriage is for love, trust, and other emotions. Divorce is just the opposite. It should feel like a business transaction.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/22 12:28 AM
39

She asks for it; you give it to her. Divorce her so fast her head spins. Never let her see you give a fuck. Tell her to move out and only contact you through your lawyer. She thinks she is hurting you; when in reality she's getting out of your way. Let her! Next time have all the material things you need to have a spouse; that way the next woman who tries this bullshit gets nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/22 02:12 AM
6

There's no such thing as a half way military spouse. Before you come home to someone from your unit in your bed; get out!!!!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/22 01:34 AM
2

Wife wanted a boy first two were girls; as soon as my son came out I hit my urologist. Not going to lie it was painful. Pro-tip buy enough athletic supporters for about a week. The wound grazing against anything can knock you down.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/22 05:48 PM
1

What ever she will get it will only be a portion of what she got as his wife. I hope she has husband number two lined up.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 08:19 PM
5

"She'll have no problem finding some other simp" Nine out of ten times the don't utter the D-word without a simp to monkey branch.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 11:37 PM
1

Why say anything to him at all? Tell the Ex that he is not allowed to touch, discipline, or be invited into the coparenting process. The way I see it he is there strictly for her happiness, and my daughters don't need another parent.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/22 08:59 PM
2

I Keep Forgetting: Michael McDonald After the Love is Gone: Earth Wind and Fire Separate Lives & Against All Odds: Phil Collins She's Out Of My Life: Michael Jackson I Wonder Who's Pouring The Wine: Ray Charles That's my top five
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/22 08:30 PM
2

It's according to what you think she has an attorney for. Is it to protect her money, or to put her hands in your pocket. New Jersey is a litigious state. With a seventeen year old her lawyer isn't for custody, so after ten years why do you think she needs an attorney? Either she has money you may be entitled to, or she thinks you have something she is entitled to.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/22 11:12 PM
1

The art of enjoying one's self; is the one fundamental things parents don't think to teach. Which is strange because it is the single most important thing one must learn for relationships. In most Reddit relationship communities the most singular commonality is people fear being alone. So much so; they cling to relationships that are bad for them. For me it is loving yourself so much that you only allow people in who add value. It eliminates the people who are there only because what you bring. …
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/22 09:05 PM
3

Wait until you fully focus on work and start climbing the ladder. Sometimes people remove themselves from your life just in time for you to grow.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/22 10:27 PM
0

Hold on threatened to tell his wife, and see how she reacts. Then ask what his family is worth in the divorce settlement. Fuck the high ground!
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/22 05:11 AM
4

Sounds like she is setting up a typical cut and paste maneuver.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/22 05:26 PM
1

It's a sellers market; sell the house get an apartment, and live. Hell you probably close to the age to qualify for a retirement community.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/22 12:28 AM
1

Why can't you tell her you need to speak to an attorney before you agree to buy anything? This shows you are taking her request for a divorce seriously, and you are not willing to do it her way.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 05:46 PM
1

Stop being available. Get a female friend and when your Ex asks you; it's date night. She says anything else; tell this is you moving on. Oh, and call her on her bullshit. Find apathy before she finds your replacement.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/22 08:03 PM
1

You are going to be a Rock Star in this sub. The way you throw those numbers around like they are peanuts can only make me hope you are in your early thirties. It's refreshing to see someone getting out because they want to; a lot of guys have no choice. You are getting out before any children, or major marriage milestones so I believe you are fairly accurate in your accounting. Good luck; make sure you find a rock to learn on.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/22 01:11 PM
5

No kids! I don't see any incentive he is giving her not to take him to the cleaners. But his workload won't let him miss the spousal support. Let's face it in most marriages men give almost all their money; spousal support is only a portion. The price of freedom is high, and this guy seems ready to pay.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/22 02:24 AM
6

I'm on the hook for less than half of my pension, but I also get a couple of grand from military disability that she would lose all rights to. Most of us give pretty much our all financially to our families, but after divorce us and our wives have to realize that has to end. I bring about six grand a month into my household; more than a third of that is totally untouchable, so whatever is even if she took a chunk I still live. But our lifestyle ends. Leverage is not how much you will have to pay…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/22 12:41 PM
13

I avoided the divorce and I have felt this treatment for fifteen out of our nearly twenty years of marriage. I'm not the type to be compelled by guilt. I grew up with nothing, and my kids want for nothing. The only tool I have against it is an open door policy. When we were going through I paid to see what divorce looks like. She only makes twenty grand less than me. Our kids are in high school so child support has an expiration date. She's attached to our lifestyle I'd be good in a retirement c…
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/22 10:13 PM
17

One word text. WHY?????
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/22 02:24 AM
7

That is how women work. There is always a plan. If they are cheating there's a money branch plan. Even if they aren't there is a new guy lined up plan. There is rarely a plan to be alone.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 02:57 AM
1

In divorce most states have marrige milestones, so in some states the length of the marriage predicates the length of support. So some divorcing at eighteen years will come out a lot someone waiting until after twenty.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/22 08:40 PM
1

Twenty years is probably a forever marriage. New York being on of the few States that take At Fault seriously; infidelity would have been your best bet. I really hope she want's divorce too; because if not it's going to cost you. Can you ask for an open relationship? In New York make sure she signs something.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/22 07:42 PM
1

Twenty years sexless; are you sure there isn't a coworker somewhere. In New York I'm looking for infidelity before I do anything. Your story has all of the hallmarks of a cheater that won't sleep with their spouse because it would be cheating on their AP. If he is married she would stay with you as part of their cover. If this is the case it's someone close and you associate with him and his wife. Talk to a lawyer, and check your phone records; as far back as possible. If I'm right they probably…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/22 07:04 PM
1

Is it possible to take divorce of the table, and use contesting the the divorce to get some simulance of fairness. Eventually some boy toy will come along, and make her be reasonable just to get out.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/22 06:41 PM
1

Hold on! She doesn't want a divorce? Seems you best option if you want to be in your child's life is figure how to live with her until you can get them back to 🇺🇸. This will not be a popular answer and may require therapy. But if she wants to stay together it may be the only non nuclear option.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/22 06:33 PM
1

Thanks. It got my mind working for a minute. Been suffering writers block.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/22 06:22 PM
2

I can still remember the joy in her eyes when she told me; I can also remember how it all melted away when she saw the pain in my eyes. Some times the conversation plays in head in the darkness of my dreams. "You said you wanted children; you got your vasectomy reversed." I wanted my own children, I'm sorry I made you put yourself in this situation, but my reversal failed." I could see brain catching up to reality, and she said "I can have an abortion!" "Oh, you think that there is coming back f…
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/22 03:19 AM
1

Is it possible you can use the evidence to get a favorable divorce. I know it sounds despicable, but hear me out. Get both of them on a room and tell her if she takes nothing from you in the divorce; you will destroy the evidence. Or go scortched earth on both of them for defiling your home.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/22 08:14 PM
6

The relocation would be a hard NO! What is she going to do treat you like shit, and talk shit about you and your family? Seems to me that she is going to do this no matter what you do. You cannot be there for your child until you stand up for yourself. Let your actions battle your Ex words. Be there for your child even when they think you are not. Keep making them a priority even when it's hard. Child rearing is a long game; follow your moral compass and you should be fine.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/22 04:45 PM
26

You know that there's another man in the equation. No woman leaves without an exact plan on how to come out of divorce with their reputation and financial stability in tact. Stop doing the pick me dance; you don't have time for that. Sounds like she has a lawyer and is following a playbook. Odds are their is a new credit card in her name. For legal expenses without you knowing. As long as you do this I love you; she'll continue the friendship bullshit, but be under any allusion you are being rep…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/22 05:51 PM
1

Just read your other post and it's obvious you are still in love, and it's affecting your reasoning. At some point she has to be dead to you, and after the bull she pulled that would be so easy for most of us. You need some SurvivingInfidelity tactics.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/22 07:22 PM
3

You'd be amazed how many guys would run with full primary custody. You have the opportunity of no male influences in your daughters life. No chance of finding out your Ex wife's boyfriend likes little girls.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/22 07:11 PM
2

Sounds like idea with your son involved. Personally I wouldn't leave Vegas for any part of Florida. Especially single.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/22 01:00 AM
3

Chris Brown; oh my God!
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/22 08:09 PM
2

I wouldn't settle for 12 days if most of her time is with babysitters or family. If she wasn't spending fifty percent of the time with them before the and during the separation; why now? This time next year she'll be with husband number two and he'll have more time with your kids than you. The lawyers forsee this. That would be my law; no future partners are to have equal or more time with the children than biological parents. Trust me this time her husband will make twice what she makes, so you…
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/22 07:03 PM
9

Don't be surprised if it's a friend who's probably married, and he's telling his wife the same thing right now. Start protecting your money. Don't talk to her about this again. Get a consultation to see what divorce looks like. After thirty years she would have to hate you if there isn't any one else. It doesn't sound like she hates you; she sounds like she tired of living the lie. Be prepared to find out that has a split personality, and one of them you have no idea who she is.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/22 08:48 PM
1

Military relationships are hard. The consensus will always be divorce as soon as possible. It doesn't sound like she is anywhere near the divorce camp. My advice is individual counseling to aquire the tools to communicate first. As long as your wife isn't an every weekend at the NCO club you have a chance. As an old Vet I found getting through the hard parts of marriage is what makes great marriages. Ten years ago I thought I was looking into an abyss; the wife was unemployed and spending like w…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/22 04:07 PM
2

As a father of a fourteen year daughter who tested positive last week. I'm happy she was vaccinated she had no symptoms, and if it weren't for the test we would have never knew. We were in Vegas on vacation, she had a room to isolate. My whole family is vaccinated. But the girl she came in contact with was unvaccinated.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/21 06:57 PM
2

Dude she is testing your mental fortitude. I bet she has your insurance policy in her lap. Struggle through, and win by survival. Block her and tell her you will keep her messages to the police for future reference.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/21 12:06 AM
4

Cheaters make choices that leads to cheating. Your wife asking for space is on step of many that lead to another man in hee bed. I personally think it was a step to alleviate guilt, and a get out of jail free card as far as her social circle. This much fore- thought is disturbing. Now betrayed people have to make the same level of thinking under duress of an emotional rollercoaster. They have to choose to lament over the relationship someone the love destroyed, or to love themselves enough to st…
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/21 07:54 PM
6

Unlike Republicans; Democrats has a large portion of its members, and constituents that are women. Republicans has women constituents, but it's caucus is mostly men.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/21 09:55 PM
20

Motion cameras in your room; don't talk to her unless it's recorded. You are in a war with the lawyers one upping themselves, and your wife trying to be the best victim she can be.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/21 02:58 AM
5

No way in hell is she coming back to my house. I would be straight up "I don't need a roommate, and you abandoned this house four months ago." Who in the hell separates for months; only to move back in to live together for the divorce? Her feelings didn't change her housing needs did. If you think the last four months was lonely wait until to you see what living with someone you love; that doesn't love you lookslike. Personally she would have to stay with someone else until she took half my shit…
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/21 12:53 PM
2

Divorce is not a jail sentence; you can call it off at anytime. My wife was bad financially, but made enough money she didn't know it. She refused to save, wasn't going to be the one who saved for the future and she took half on the way out. Before I could even have her served she did a 180. That and the fact we had three kids is why I consider on staying. It turned out to be the right decision for me. When I joined this sub I had every intention of blowing shit up, and I understand those who ad…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/21 04:08 PM
3

You have passed the ten years milestone so odds are spousal support will probably be the same for the next eight years. I would check out a couples counselor. I'm guessing you have learned that you have a say, and properly motivated she will conform. Infidelity tends to be that bridge to far, and mentioned none of that. With that being said sometimes being served is a wake up call. Remind her that you want to be with her, but you don't need her. Remind her she brought the possibility of divorce …
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/21 02:26 PM
9

Apathy is the key to surviving women. The quicker you don't give a fuck the easier the emotional shit will be.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/21 09:44 PM
1

Only you know if you can physically pull the trigger, but I hope you are getting there mentally. I would leave for my mental health.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/21 12:40 AM
1

It's not wether she has another man; it's would you care, because getting a divorce you can't afford to care.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/21 06:27 PM
1

Make sure you check the divorce laws for milestones. In a lot of places nine years is a lot cheaper than ten.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/21 09:57 PM
8

People only treat you like you allow them to treat you. No way am I ever this guy.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/21 06:40 PM
2

Yo!!!!!! This made my day.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/21 06:57 PM
3

I guess apathy is attractive. Too many men when they get the "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" speech the have a full out emotional breakdown. They find it very easy to leave that guy. The guy that says "Okay, I'm getting a beer; you want one." She doesn't get to hurt that guy as much as she wants. Her leaving is meant to be a punishment. So if you want finality you have to start needing her again.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/21 10:41 PM
1

Simple; she reading your posts, and the comments to fabricate her emails to get a desired response.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/21 02:59 AM
1

My first thought was this is one of the most well crafted iterations a cheater has ever written. She carries you on high the whole way through; she takes blame, and shows remorse. She hits all the notes a betrayed would ever want to hear. Then I read your post history, and I came to the conclusion that you need a new Reddit account. She wrote a counter to the guilt email she wrote last time. You can tell she read the comments; because everything she did wrong in that email is corrected in this o…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/21 12:47 AM
1

Don't go for the ability to be friends makes you a bigger person. I wish you apathy!
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/21 09:35 PM
21

Dude go no contact until you get your decree. There are coparenting apps that allows you to communicate minus the BS. She can only do what you allow her to do. Take away the one thing from her that you can; you! There's a million ways to make it to the finish line without dealing with her. But first you have to want to let her go. Don't be foolish enough to think at some point you will be friends with her; friends don't weaponize parenting. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/21 01:47 AM
2

I don't think there's enough room on the whole internet to comment on this post. Good luck; I fell asleep on that giant wall of text in the middle.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/21 10:58 PM
6

Look she's trying to live the lifestyle you can afford her; with someone she works with! She needs to get full custody to better afford that lifestyle through child support. I'm taking it that your marriage is not in the forever marriage stage, so I would remind her spousal support will eventually run out and her boyfriend still couldn't afford the lifestyle you afford her. But I wouldn't tell her until you spoke to an attorney. By the way while you are on couples counseling she is stalling unti…
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/21 04:34 AM
3

Just be well versed in your State's marriage milestones and how they affect divorce. Especially since you are so close to twenty years. You don't want to coast into spousal support for a lifetime. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/21 02:06 AM
6

Pulling off a five year plan to divorce someone is diabolical. Could you imagine if she used all of that energy for good? I don't understand why people who are capable of sustaining a business; can be so miscalculating with the person has the greatest ability to take everything.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/21 02:25 AM
3

She can't video chat the monkey branch with you coming in the room. Buckle up you are about to see three versions of her before it's over, and you will like none of them.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/21 07:16 PM
2

Middle aged men are ridiculed for falling for twenty somethings thinking they fell in love with our personality. Well this proves middle-aged women are just as gullible. I would be driving myself crazy over how could I have married someone who would choose internet strangers over her children. Good luck everyone deserves better than this!
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/21 06:40 PM
1

I would check with a lawyer before getting another job. This may effect spousal support; especially with her unemployable status.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/21 01:51 AM
1

I think that's the problem she not talking to him, and if he has to be by himself; why should he do that living with her? This is basically a business transaction at this point. I personally would have demanded her sit down and talk through next steps, and try to negotiate a palatable divorce. Find the things he wants her to keep her hands off and negotiate those things in a divorce. At fifty five my retirement is more important than the house. I have know desire for another relationship and wou…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/21 10:00 PM
3

Normally when I read a post like yours I try to find a witty way to get OP to do what they already know has to be done. For some reason with your post an audition from British XFactor popped in my head. It was a young man singing Labyrinth's "Jealous". I think it was the only time I seen Simon cry. I am over twenty years older than you so my break up song was "I Keep Forgetting" by the Doobie Brothers. I took my heart break song and listened to it before I had to focus on my life. It was like I …
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/21 08:32 PM
4

I really think you have to look at the bright side. It's sad your wife chose another man, but she left you with the most irreplaceable thing your son. Most women would have taken your son just for the child support. No matter how it would negatively affect the child. Either that or she would just copy and paste the new guy, and instead of going to his house, he'd be moving into yours. It may take some time for you to realize the possibilities in your future. Get some therapy for the panic attack…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/21 01:51 AM
3

The longer you stay married the larger amount for retirement each of you are entitled to. I know a guy who did what you are doing, but he got into a relationship for over ten years; his wife also had relationships outside the marriage. When he had a stroke and became immobile his wife put him in facility instead of letting his girlfriend take care of him. The facility sold his house to pay for his care.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/21 08:32 PM
5

They always talk about divorce until the ten or twenty years mark. According to where you live Those are the milestones for forever marriages. You said she threatened to leave five years ago; she probably got a consultation and an attorney told her how much she would lose if she got divorced before the twenty years. Too many guys wait until it's too late to research divorce. The first time it's mentioned do the research. My wife mentioned divorce three years ago. We did the research together, an…
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/21 02:15 AM
3

She's not throwing twenty years away; she's probably been waiting for your marriage to become an forever marriage. A lot of places twenty years is the milestone for forever spousal support. Your wife has probably planned this for years. Over the next few months you will find she has a bum who can't afford her lifestyle waiting to move in. I wouldn't be surprised if she gave you reason to question her fidelity in the last five years. I also wouldn't be surprised if she's not already lawyered up a…
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/21 04:56 PM
3

Your ability to hood quote in the same sentence as GOT reference was masterful. Seems like self-love requires a high IQ.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/21 02:58 AM
2

Space does a lot for for the mental state too. Maybe a move is in your future; maybe a move back home. Friend of mine did this, and he has children. They restructured the custody agreement so he has the kids on winter break and summers. He got to stay in his children's lives, and her and her boyfriend got planned adult vacation. He also had video chats at bedtime; where she didn't inject herself. Sounds easy but took a lot of give and take, some guilt, and a big sell of him being totally out of …
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/21 10:24 PM
2

She will treat you like this as long as you allow it; get a lawyer, and go scortched earth. I personally never fight to win; I fight so the other guy knows never fuck with me again! Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/21 09:27 PM
1

She doesn't trust you; well you earned that. Her staying at this point is saying she want to fix this, but that's not on her. I see no reason to stay with you if it isn't love. 23 years in; she gets what she wants in divorce. Another nine years of child support. If she's not the breadwinner; spousal support, and all of your retirement savings she gets half. If she is the breadwinner take nothing in divorce; pay the child support, and say you are sorry. Trust me if you can find someone else so ca…
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/21 08:56 PM
1

As an Air Force veteran with PTSD let me assure you; if she is still there she loves you. The only excuse for I love but I'm not in love with you is I don't have the desire to fix things. I'm sure you are in therapy, but is she. I think that starting in individual therapy for both of you, and then couples therapy. Leaving is eventually on you, but you are leaving for only one of two reasons. You selfishly or for her; because you know what you are capable of doing to her. Just understand that yes…
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/21 08:41 PM
3

I'm not red pill, but I agree with this. I don't believe in soul mates; some people can live together longer than others. I also think there is another fool involved, but even if she's telling you the truth only a weak minded person would let their friends have a say in their marriage. Some people take six months to show you who they are; your wife took this long, but believe her she is showing you her true self. If you truly want to heal for yourself; take the option of coming back off the tabl…
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/21 07:10 PM
5

I just talked to a buddy that worked for my State for thirty seven years and was only married to his wife for fifteen years. They divorced three years ago, and now she is asking for more than the twenty five percent she was awarded. The original divorce was mostly amicable. She wanted out to live with her AP, and he just wanted to move on. Then came the second bites of the apple after the divorce was finalized. She didn't factor in how crushing AP's child support would be. My friend had to drop …
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/21 07:32 PM
3

You never just leave someone you love; you leave to love yourself more. It is not selfish to love yourself more; it's logical. Facing divorce we have to break the emotional connection with a person we love, and follow logic. Success in divorce is apathy; may you find the comfort that comes with it. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/21 04:53 PM
1

I'm done; is always a good enough reason. Her midlife crisis is her business; your wellbeing should be yours. I would have her served, and when she is out of the fog then asks why; I'd respond with "do you think I'm stupid?"
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/21 05:58 PM
3

If you can't find more than enough reasons to leave in that anthology you wrote; there's nothing internet strangers can do to help you. If I were you I would have been out of there so fast it would have made the Road Runner head spin! Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/21 10:35 PM
6

She has every right to ruin her life; just as you have the responsibility to save your life. Get a good lawyer, and have served first. Don't let her revel in her mid life crisis empowerment. Let her know that you are the one closing the door, and there will be no going back! Then work your way towards apathy. It will be your saving grace, and life will reward you if you truly find it. People sometimes need to stop and take the time to realize that cheaters put as much energy in their affair, and…
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/21 10:26 PM
2

8 hate to be the one to break it to you, but you enabled this behavior. Reading this you sound like a very successful guy who feels like they need to be punished for your success. Nobody deserves this shit. You are in a shitshow. First act infidelity that quickly turns into whoring by the second act. The second is drug abuse that crescendo with a suicide attempt. Third act is financial abuse new teeth and boobs for her many AP'S. The final act is child neglect and abuse. Driving a car while high…
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/21 12:50 AM
1

Why are you even seeing each other? Seriously move; put a few hundred miles between you. Personally I think you got divorce because another guy. You may fuck better than him, but I guessing he is no where as sensitive. She may be coming thru for sex, but she is is also feeding off your pain. Your pain is like a beautiful painting she painted, so stop thinking she cares for you; when what she is really doing is admiring her work. Don't believe me? Put some distance between you; prevent her from f…
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/21 07:09 PM
1

If you get mail there you live there. Plus you are married, so she just can't kick you out.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/21 07:06 PM
1

Why do you owe her friend money?
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/21 07:05 PM
5

Now you have a standard of how you want to be treated in reconciliation; can she live up to that
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/21 11:29 PM
6

A lot of shit happens in nine months. Like a whole relationship and a break up. Your relationship is a prime candidate for (FOMO). They starts fight over small shit; until you constantly argue, and then they demand a separation with boundaries for you to follow. What they find is men are not lining up for a mother of two. She gets pumped and dumped a few times, and then gets in a relationship with someone they can see themselves with; only to find he'll never leaving his wife. So if you are will…
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/21 11:00 PM
4

Seems to me she enjoys seeing the pathetic shell of yourself she has created. It's fuel for her narcissism. Women find it harder to leave a strong confident man, but if their affair to a weaker version it becomes a lot easier to leave you. Why are you separated; she's telling there is no us. Whether she is cheating, or not she has become a vile, insolent, and horrible person that threw you away. What is your benefit in this pain shopping. To tell you the truth the outcome you want required you t…
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/21 10:46 PM
1

It's your behavior that made me want to leave, and I fear that your behavior will do the same to our son. Save yourself from yourself and get some help.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/21 02:59 PM
2

There's more than you know going on here than you know. She is projecting some of her behavior on you. What I don't know is how in the hell does she get home black out drunk for years without a DUI. Sometimes when broken people meet someone ready: who doesn't understand the how someone can be hung up so long. At some point their reaction to the broken bits is worse than what broke their person in the first place. Then when when the broken person heals, and becomes the mate they wanted in the fir…
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/21 02:53 PM
1

Nothing hurts a toxic person more than being replaced with a good person. The bonus is that you can say your new partner feels uncomfortable with your Ex always lurking.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/21 06:14 PM
3

I wonder what you think will happen with your next relationship? A woman that loves you after 20 years of marriage is hard to find. Different is not better. An adult vacation is way cheaper than a divorce. Good luck whatever you decide.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/21 05:04 PM
3

I took a look at your profile, and as a layman I'm developing a a theory I'm calling "The Narcissist Picasso". Their actions hurt you; nearly destroyed you, and their narcissism is drawn to that pain. Like an artist admiring his greatest work. This will continue as long as she knows it bothers you. The moment the hurt, pain and anger is gone; she will go with it. You have to stop feeding the beast. I believe apathy will be more powerful than a restraining order. If you get a restraining order; s…
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/21 04:26 PM
2

You already past the ten years mark which most likely you will financially regret. What is time apart? Are you a bookmark? I mean really give her some time to find better; before she settles for you all over again. Close one door and another one opens; well that doesn't happen when you only look at the front door. I not a member of the "He-Man Women Haters Club" I have been married eighteen years. I love my wife, but if she suggest a break divorce would immediately be on the table. I would file …
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/21 12:45 PM
4

My advice is to go find a lawyer. If she is worried about the quality of her lifestyle; tell her to date up. She can't live forever off your value; it's time she learned what her value is. Get out before one of her losers knocks her up! GET OUTNOW!
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/21 02:39 AM
2

I'm guessing you are afraid of the twenty year mark, and maybe in your state that equals forever alimony. No matter what it will be a lot of money. She doesn't want a divorce, so an adversarial divorce with money like yours makes lawyers do a happy dance. You act like your marriage is destined to divorce. It doesn't seem like it from what you wrote. You can give it to her or the lawyers, or keep it together. I think you should have a consultation to clear your conscience, but it's going to cast …
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/21 07:26 PM
1

How long is the marriage? Did she cheated on you? Infidelity equals a postnup; before reconciliation. If she didn't cheat why would you destroy your family over money.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/21 06:54 PM
3

If you can't get a lawyer; go to your local court house and see if someone can look over the documents. I hope I'm wrong, but it look this looks like she's trying a classic cut in paste. Whoever is taking your place can't afford your share of the mortgage. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/21 07:28 PM
1

You sure a tropical vacation, and reduction of work hours wouldn't save your marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/21 09:38 PM
2

Is she doing everything or you are also using mediator? It seems like she's getting rid of you on her terms. Unless you cheated something seems off.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/21 09:21 PM
4

I was wondering why Kanye West's "Gold Digger" instantly in my head; then I Googled her. She's a neat level Gold Digger. She divorced a NBA guy two weeks after having his child. $200,000.00 a month child support.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/21 08:36 PM
4

She is her lawyer you need someone who will look out for you. This is about money; it's always about money. If I were a lawyer getting divorced I would try and get the petition signed before milestones. It's cheaper to divorce at nine years and eleven months then ten years. A lot of places ten years means lifetime support.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/21 08:16 PM
3

Knock down drag out fights are can only survive in strong marriages. You know exactly where she stands on everything; because she screams it at the top of her lungs. Then you stand your ground, and you meet in the middle somewhere. What did you think marriage was; a quiet life where you agree, or capitulate to your desire. That's a TV show from the fifties. Now if your arguments are not toxic or abusive; seems like you are in a place where couples counseling could actually work . In eighteen yea…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/21 08:08 PM
8

I had a teacher; he worked till he was seventy and abruptly retired. I told him I thought he would never retire; why now? His answere was hilarious. He said when he divorced his cheating Ex wife they made around the same amount because she didn't pay into her retirement. In the divorce there was splitting of assets, but know spousal support. She filed a motion to get half of his retirement, and won. Over the years she tried to get him to buy her out, but he said he'd rather work until one of the…
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/21 08:39 PM
3

Listen to this man; especially do not buy a house with her. If there there's a loss take it now.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/21 10:59 PM
1

Hell in most states it divorce gets more expensive at the five year mark.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/21 09:20 PM
2

I think your relationship is sustainable. My only reservation is you are closing in on the big 20th anniversary; most states consider that a forever marriage. You do understand that means forever alimony. I'm sure she understands this! Look if you want to live with her fine, but divorce her before she ignites the procedure the day after your twentieth anniversary.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/21 11:19 PM
1

The possibility of monkey branching up; is just as likely.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/21 10:02 PM
2

You might get lucky; she is probably so over confident that she is a bit sloppy. Like if you are on the mortgage, and there are no abuse she shouldn't have been able to kick you out. You are in a position for a cut and paste; there's already a car in your parking spot. If your children are young she can paint the picture of him being the hero after you abandoned them. Do a search of outvof state lawyers who can work in your state. If not the judge should appoint you an attorney. If thats the cas…
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/21 01:52 PM
1

If couples counseling is a no go; try individual therapy. Couples counseling while trying to bring you together can magnify each other's flaws. That can often cause you to dig in your heels. Individual therapy helps you cope with the stresses in the marriage. It will also help you to evaluate the depth of your dispare. I'm in a marriage where I get blamed for everything. I have learned when to when to pick my battles, and when to stand my ground. At some point you have to ask your spouse; do the…
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/21 07:52 PM
3

I wish you apathy!
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/21 07:47 PM
3

Military spouses should never be given second chances. If they can't hold themselves to the high standard of being a military spouse they should say so and leave. No one wants the Button Pusher, Trigger Puller emotionally broken. Get into therapy, and away from her. Excepting a cheater doesn't mean you love them with all of your heart; it means you don't love you as much as you should.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/21 07:35 PM
7

Go home! If you are on the deed and mortgage; it's your home, and you can sleep in another room. Don't pay the mortgage for this dude to live rent free. How is your lawyer letting you do this. I wish you were in touch with your inner asshole! Because if that were me; I'd sit down with both of them, and tell them I have no problem with them living together. As long as he is willing to split the bills until you sell the house, or the divorce settlement says otherwise. Please find apathy it is the …
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/21 05:48 PM
15

Personally, if I had four months to make a decision I'd wait three months to respond
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/21 03:56 PM
10

This is why guys waisting time trying reconciliation; talking to a lawyer is a better use of that time. Guilt is a powerful motivator. If reconciliation is possible; it will still be possible after divorce. The difference is after divorce you can keep your finances split, and even introduce a prenup into the relationship. The biggest reason for pulling the trigger it shatters he invincibility. She now knows that you have no problem leaving her and moving on. All that lack of respect for you she …
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/21 05:48 PM
4

Frankly if your name is not on the house I don't see much holding you there. Personally I would try to reason with the grandparents. Tell them you don't have anything to take, and you don't want anything from her. You just want both of you to be happy. You know that no one wins in divorce; the process will be painful for both of you, but you know you can't keep her in the way she is accustomed to. I only say this because it seems to me that your fight may be with her but they are the ones gettin…
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/21 05:31 PM
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