TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

ThunderofHipHippos Archive

View 12 posts and 288 comments by ThunderofHipHippos on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
0

I disagree with you, but neither of us are here to argue, so I'm just deleting the post and taking a break from FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 09:23 PM
49

I'm really glad you haven't had those kind of negative interactions! Yesterday I was on the phone with my therapist, literally crying, and a man still came up and asked if I have a boyfriend. 2 cars honked and men yelled out the window at me. This was in the space of 40 minutes. My therapist even said, "you cannot catch a break!" It's interesting how much our experiences can differ based on location, age, cultural norms, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 07:57 PM
2

Agree that venting is cathartic and helpful! "I wish I could" vs "I would have" might be helpful language for us as a group. Catharsis of what we WANT to do without endorsing actually doing it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 07:50 PM
125

While I like the sentiment, it's easy to say how we would have handled things differently. But OP's safety comes first. And when we're not in a situation, we don't know the subtle cues that made OP wary of confronting this man. Confronting men about bad behavior is always easier in theory than in practice, especially when we know how explosive and dangerous men can get when called out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 06:50 PM
298

"But he's on law review!" I'll never forget those words. So many women who went to law school heard them. Male-dominated education spaces are just feeding grounds for predators.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 06:25 AM
31

To my understanding, the discomfort is the point. We're uncomfortable with it because we SHOULD be uncomfortable with regulating reproduction. But we're often numb to how uncomfortable it is to legislate femme reproductive choices because we're used to it. So flipping the script forces everyone to see how ridiculous our treatment of femme bodies is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 08:18 PM
35

Counting all the deleted angry troll comments is my new favorite sport, thank you for this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 08:12 PM
47

Mind-blown emoji. You just brought it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 06:00 PM
168

Hanging around trash makes you stink. BUT ALSO. Male ambassadors are doing god's work by teaching and policing other men. So I think the issue deserves some nuance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 02:33 AM
3

Just personal experience and preference. I find they always project feminism but are controlling and emotionally manipulative behind closed doors. If you're dating a HVM, don't worry about it. But if we get a whiff of controlling vibes, RUN!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 12:23 AM
6

Laundry is a "boy chore." I am far too dainty to lift heavy things like wet clothes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 06:17 PM
104

"So you're a gold digger?" Block. Ignore. Don't even waste your breath on men that stupid. They won't listen to your response, anyway. (I've learned the hard way.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 06:01 PM
13

Yes, but also don't come for my astrology books. If men can believe betting on the margins is based on more than feelings, I can believe it matters if they're a Taurus. (Taurus men are the worst.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 05:56 PM
21

They conflate emotional intimacy and unloading your trauma. So if you establish ANY emotional connection, they put you in the "girlfriend zone" and begin using you to unpack 30+ years of repressed feelings. Then when you (rightfully) draw boundaries, they act like they've been validated! "See, this is what happens when men talk about emotions!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 05:42 PM
7

My adoptive mother always blame me for the years she wasted on my LVM stepdad. "You said you liked him!" I was 6. You were relying on the judgment of a 6 year old?!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 05:25 PM
50

Exactly. We can empathize with the logic behind those poor choices because we were all raised in a society that praises women for being compliant and obedient. But we can also distance ourselves from pity because these women truly don't want it. They want a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen, but they think they've won at life because some dude knocked them up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 04:38 PM
121

So many women have stories of men not showing their true colors until pregnancy or even after a birth. It's terrifying to think you may be setting a child up for emotional neglect, abuse, or even just bad male role models. I'm child free because I love freedom, and that includes the ability to leave anyone at any time if they forget how to treat women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 04:34 PM
133

The "happy family" posts are why I'm not on social media. Everything is crafted to show how perfect your life is and it's often wildly inauthentic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 04:32 PM
1

Even if we ignored the porn (which we shouldn't), leaving your sick spouse and swearing at them is unacceptable. He's got LEVELS of problems and we support you doing what's best for YOU!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 04:13 PM
77

Cringing at our old mindset means we're growing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 08:50 PM
82

I'm torn, because during my pick-me days, I might have found this "funny." Opening my eyes to exactly how we should NOT be treated seems helpful, but I totally see your point about how it doesn't amplify what men SHOULD be doing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 08:43 PM
25

My therapist is a diamond in the rough. She's the one who taught me the phrase, "you are not a rehabilitation center for sh*tty men." She also says it's okay to pay her an hourly fee to just complain about men and let them do the same things over and over, but that she can think of more fun ways ways to blow money. TRUTH TELLER like no other.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 08:28 PM
46

Men will find subtle ways to imply we're "lucky" they're with us when they could be with a white girl instead. It slowly sapped my self-esteem for years. I tried to be "whiter" in the ways I could be, from how I wore my hair to how I dressed. There is a whole other level to FDS for non-white women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 04:40 PM
7

Your written English is stronger than many native speakers, you have a gift for language! "these people also post fake casting calls aimed at young women, i [luckily know the signs to look out for and wasn't taken advantage of]." It shifts "fell for" (your fault) to "wasn't taken advantage of" (not your fault). Such a small thing, but shifts the burden of responsibility.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 12:35 PM
35

I'm glad your experience worked out well, but let's avoid framing it as "falling for it." A large, prestigious hospital rarely recruited for positions in my old area. They sent a rep for interviews and put him up in a hotel room, where he would both stay and conduct meet and greets. I got a call from a recruiter and was a little floored, but couldn't pass up the opportunity. Men put women in potentially harmful situations that women will enter in hopes of advancing their careers. They don't "fal…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 01:16 AM
6

If he's allowed to go to strip clubs, I'm allowed to dress like a hooker and go dancing. That's equally innocent since it's all just women dancing, right? Oh, suddenly he's seeing green. 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 06:42 PM
12

Why can't we admit that financially coerced sex isn't consensual? "She CHOSE to get paid! She CHOSE this line of work!" Okay. Send her to an elementary school job fair to talk about how much she loves her work. Let your 6 year old daughter talk about how she wants to be a sex worker. Does it still feel like a legitimate argument? 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 06:40 PM
23

I haven't heard about this, can I get more info or links?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 06:04 PM
18

We also need to stop putting women in danger by making it their duty to report. If you can do so safely? Great! But most of the time predators are dangerous and we can't blame women who prioritize their safety.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 05:05 PM
6

I'm a teacher and we received funding to start after school clubs. I became certified as a health/sex ed teacher (literally one 3 hour class if you're already a teacher) and framed it as a "girls health class, geared at learning about healthy bodies and relationships." Recruited a few popular girls, who then made joining it "cool." Most schools will accept any free after school programming as long as it's through a certified nonprofit organization. So if you're not a teacher, you could find a lo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 07:37 PM
27

I teach a young women's group on behavior expectations in romantic and platonic relationships. It's insane what we've been trained to believe is acceptable. And once another woman points out that we don't HAVE to accept it, we understandably agree so quickly!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 02:54 AM
3

If it only occurs within romantic relationships, the problem isn't YOU, it's your romantic relationships. We've all chosen poorly before and some of us have contributed to negative feedback loops in relationships. But if your friendships are long-lasting and emotionally stable, you know it's not that you can't form "secure attachments."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 09:20 PM
29

Advice from my therapist: check your "attachment style" with your 3 closest friends. For most of us, those are the most "free" relationships in that they are the easiest and cleanest to exit. So if someone can leave any time and you don't feel anxious, the problem likely isn't you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 02:22 PM
81

If it's so healthy, why get defensive about it? If I said, "eating broccoli is bad for you," you'd know it's false and simply ignore me. The reason they get so worked up about our "kink shaming" is because they know getting off to hurting women is unhealthy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 03:45 AM
25

"Happy Death Day" was surprisingly smart. There was a character who had the potential to be a "nice guy," but he calls out potential rape at one point. My friend and I literally started clapping in the theater.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 02:18 PM
58

Curiosity got the best of me and I Googled the plot. The fact this has positive reviews is so disturbing. The "nice guy" is rejected by his crush, so he turns her into a sexual slave and traps her in a basement for years on end, with no end in sight. How does anyone watch that and think, "wow, this art truly added something to the human experience?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 02:09 PM
52

I think these empowerment jokes are funny, but dangerous. I always advocate for making a man so disgusted he leaves of his own volition. When a man is yelling, crying is often a natural response. If you feel threatened, lean in and let the snot flow. Wipe your nose on your clothes. Sob so hysterically he doesn't know what to do with you and can't handle it. Do whatever it takes to get him OUT, not more riled up. Men are dangerous and your safety isn't worth a feeling of "owning" some dude. If it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 02:00 PM
153

Also, there are zombies. So the "historical accuracy" argument is ludicrous. It's a fantasy world. And in their fantasy, women are raped. Often and explicitly and for the pleasure of the male gaze.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 06:49 PM
7

There's also been an increase in violent rhetoric toward formally trained, paid teachers. I'm a teacher who took part in a large union demonstration. Random men from across the country found my WORK EMAIL and were telling me to "kill myself" because I don't "care about kids." Whether through paid or unpaid labor, women engaging in care-taking are expected to work without expectation or complaint. We are to be silent and subservient, whether in the home or the workplace. I know nurses encounterin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 03:40 PM
87

A drunk older couple once asked my ex how we ended up together. "Do you have a huge dick? Are you famous? Why is she with you?" They were CACKLING with laughter at the idea I was with him. It sounds terrible, but they were really doing us both a favor. He had whittled away my self esteem and convinced me no one else would ever love me. Never let a man you don't find attractive do you dirty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 03:19 AM
20

Supporting firemen doesn't require supporting fires. Supporting women doesn't require supporting oppressive systems.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 01:09 AM
122

I don't associate with men outside of work unless they are friends with my fiance. I can't bring myself to vet men anymore. I've been assaulted by 5 different men. I've written them off and I'm not apologizing for it. Normally when I explain this to men who ask, they're uncomfortable because they can't use their usual lines about "n0t aLL mEn." It seems that 5 is "enough" assaults for me to be prejudiced against men without extreme judgment. But why did I have to suffer so much abuse for my fear…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 10:51 PM
81

100%. If sex work is work, just like any other job, where are the OnlyFans booths at elementary school job fairs? Oh wait, that idea is disgusting? Yes, because it's NOT like other jobs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 10:44 PM
70

"I'm logical, not like other girls!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 06:10 AM
93

BuT iT's DiFFerEnT!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 06:09 AM
21

Don't forget JDs, who also tend to be LVM. Never date male lawyers, they tend to take the contentious attitude home with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 11:51 PM
1

Appreciate it, thank you and hope you're doing well!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 11:49 PM
1

I think I misunderstood, thank you for clarifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 11:49 PM
5

No, we shouldn't disclose too much identifying information due to safety concerns. Men target us for taking part in this sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 11:48 PM
6

"Drama/gossip" doesn't inherently have to be messy. It can mean updates on other people and their progress. My friend just shared "juicy gossip" that she ran into an old friend who is having her 4th baby. She's super happy and excited, so it's great news! But it's "gossip" in the sense we're talking about someone who isn't there and I'm learning new information. I think people use the word differently, so this could just be an issue of meaning lost in translation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 11:45 PM
3

Meet ups also made me anxious as hell until I found fem-only groups. Try searching "women's classes" with your city name. After the first session, I asked anyone interested in working on the hobby outside of class to write their email. We made a group and I hosted an event where we worked on the hobby at my place. People brought other friends, so it introduced me to a lot of people over time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 11:40 PM
2

I don't think they're saying it's easier to make male friends, merely that meeting women can be hard as an adult in a new city with no established connections.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 11:37 PM
6

I tried the app when I first moved to my large city and it was a disaster. Signing up for classes geared toward women and being very open about going to meet people was the only way people actually followed through with hanging out. I also work in a female dominated field and I'm always asking people to lunch. Some people will say no, but you only need to hear "yes" once to get started!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 11:36 PM
5

Saaaaame, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 10:10 PM
61

I actively inform men in not on the pill. It messed with my hormones and I'm not here for it. So strap your lad or get ready to be a dad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 06:42 PM
10

But my mother isn't a puppy. She isn't forced to be dependent on abusive men, she CHOOSES to be. That choice is complex, but we have to acknowledge her options are different so we don't remove her agency. This isn't to say I don't have empathy for victims of domestic violence. It is a cycle and we could all easily fall victim to it. But I think some degree of anger at negligent parents is healthy. Anger tells us when boundaries are crossed and motivates us to develop different patterns. Pity mot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 06:39 PM
174

This movie is triggering, but SO empowering. It shows the manipulative ways men push women's physical boundaries, then justify their own behavior. It's DEEPLY uncomfortable and will challenge you. Even the opening shot forces you to grapple with the way women seek male validation from men who don't have much to offer. I have never walked out of a movie feeling so strong. This movie is CRITICAL for victims of assault, but also for men who are often complicit without realizing the damage such sile…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 11:11 PM
16

I grew up without running water and ended up graduating from a top tier law school in the US. But I never, for 1 second, credit my "hard work." Single mothers with 2 jobs work harder than me; I just made more money because of a few lucky breaks. Winning at capitalism wasn't my bag. I'm not going to hate on women who make that their end goal, but I'm also not going to act like it's an accessible goal for everyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 09:33 PM
17

I understand your sentiment and I believe in empowering other women. But I don't think "you're not rich? work harder!" is inherently empowering when there are so many systemic barriers to economic success.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 07:59 PM
17

I think there's a split on capitalism within FDS. Some women see gaining power within a capitalistic system as the key to gaining equality (equity as equality, arguably only available to some). Some women see capitalism as inherently tied to patriarchy and think both must be rejected and destroyed in order for ALL women to gain equality. Both arguments have merit. But I'm a woman of color and a public school teacher, so you can guess which side I come down on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 07:58 PM
19

"I don't mean this in a disrespectful way, but what could I possibly use you for? I make more money than you and I'm really pretty." My ex did not like that answer to his rude ass question! But it did make me realize he was useless, so he was ultimately helping me by asking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 04:38 AM
4

Girl my bar was in HELL before. My fiance constantly exceeds my hopes and expectations. We met in our 30s and I feel like that makes a big difference, my exes were all in my 20s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 01:43 AM
3

I've heard so many good things but can't bring myself to watch it because of the fanbase.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 09:03 PM
45

My fiance FALLS OUT whenever he sees me painting or doing yoga. "Babe, look at those brushes strokes! Tell me about how you did it." "Babe, way to go getting your yoga on! What's that pose called?" He hypes me and asks a lot of follow up questions. It's not that much work, but SO MANY men can't bring themselves to feign interest in us as people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 08:57 PM
47

A coworker I really like has been hanging on to a relationship FOR YEARS that was only good for the first 3 months. She keeps waiting for that "magic" to come back and thinks it will "when he proposes," even though he refuses to talk timeline for marriage. They also live together. I told her that it WAS magic: he put her under a spell so she can't see that he changed into a walking sweaty ballsack right before her eyes. She laughed, agreed, then went home to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 04:03 PM
7

I'm not white, so it would not go well for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 01:18 AM
13

Men have a name for guys who use 'friendship' as a bargaining tool for sex: 'orbiters.' They think 'orbiters' are victims of women because we don't give them sex in exchange for basic kindness. They really think forming friendships will entitle them to sex later. It's baffling logic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 01:17 AM
86

They love to use our changed perceptions as evidence this sub is anti-male. But how is advocating for women developing boundaries harmful? They know taking out the trash includes them, so of course they don't want us to open our eyes to their intentions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 01:09 AM
13

Men would find it and destroy it, because God forbid we get something of our own! It would be DiScRiMinAtioN for us to have a space safe from male violence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 05:40 PM
21

Men are like the year 2020: every time I think things can't be worse, I'm proven wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 05:39 PM
45

Exactly. I was raped by 2 men starting when I was child. I've been assaulted by 3 men within the last 2 years. But let's make sure I'm careful with my language so I don't hurt anyone's feelings! I can't be sensitive, but men sure can! Men's perceived emotional safety is valued over frank discussions addressing the international epidemic of male violence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 05:37 PM
19

I teach kids and 99% of the boys I've worked with are sensitive, thoughtful, and kind. I spend so much time wondering what happens during the transition to adulthood that makes men so prone to violence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 05:33 PM
32

When I went to the police about the roommate who showed every sign of escalating domestic violence, they literally laughed at me and said, "we can't charge someone for murder until there's a body." I was shaking and crying and they continued to laugh. My tears AMUSED them. Anytime I left my room, the roommate would take a butcher knife, stare at me, and stab a cutting board. Sometimes with food on it, sometimes just a plain cutting board. He would go around me and slam cabinets right next to my …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 05:28 PM
17

The vegans I knew were female separatists who lived on a dope farm. They didn't actively harm or disrespect men; they just chose to only interact with them when needed. That choice was radical, but didn't harm anyone else, so I totally dug it. If a bunch of men got a farm and said they would be polite, but only interact with women as needed, they'd have my blessing to go off without us. But that's not the kind of choice libfem women and men want to talk about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 06:42 PM
15

On the one hand I agree, but at the same time I want more women to see things like this so they reevaluate their standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 02:59 AM
1

JUMP IN THE COMMENTS AND VALIDATE HIM. If someone reads this post and walks away agreeing, I want them to tell on themselves as quickly as possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 12:33 AM
9

If I found out my fiance snooped, I wouldn't be mortified. My finances are on lockdown and require my fingerprint, but everything else is unlocked. It's scary what people can hide from you, so I get wanting to peek into the window of someone's private life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 08:22 PM
15

We're repulsed because we remember when we were that age. When we were gaslit into ignoring our unease because it was supposed to be "flattering." When we were told older women voicing concerns to protect us were "just jealous." All of that logic hinges on the idea women crave male attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 04:24 AM
19

Neither the buses nor the men are very reliable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 04:10 AM
24

The greatest man I've ever known, my best friend's father, was the epitome of high value. Then he got incredibly sick. For reasons beyond his control, his personality changed as his body deteriorated. Even when a man is top-notch, life can get in the way. Never leave yourself dependent upon someone else for survival.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 10:28 PM
11

So the thread above is about the logical fallacy of "she chose poorly." Sometimes people start to take advantage once it's harder to walk away. I don't inherently consider a long marriage a good marriage. I know many miserable couples, or couples who mask it in public but are nasty to each other in private. Divorce isn't a failure. It's a choice. And sometimes it's the healthiest and best choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 10:22 PM
29

Before I started treatment for sexual-assault related PTSD, I preferred sex that mirrored porn because intimacy was anathema to me. Porn plots often revolve around physical abusive, emotional manipulative, and coercion. People start to normalize these things, and people with a history of abuse are vulnerable since they often have no sense of normalcy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 03:42 AM
35

If you think my eyelids are naturally gold, I have some MLM products to sell you, dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 06:40 PM
9

All those long days give you more time to have his shit packed and on the porch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 01:18 AM
85

Once someone told me the model analogy I couldn't unsee it. Imagine a regular dude got a date with a Victoria Secret model. Would he ask her to come over and sit on the couch? No, he'd bring his A-game. "But that's different." It's really not. If someone doesn't think I'm top-shelf, we shouldn't be together.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 01:01 AM
17

I worked with a male teacher in an upper elementary class who was the role model so many boys need, but just don't have. He was always respectful, had good boundaries, and modeled how to treat women and girls. Male teachers in elementary schools are critical, but they're so rare. Boys need role models who are up close and in their daily lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 03:03 PM
30

My good friend is in religious premarital counseling and was told that she is denying her husband the ability to "securely attach" because she wants to keep separate finances. Women are told giving up independent financial security is a show of love. Hard pass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 03:41 AM
24

You can support women without supporting sex work in the same way you can support firefighters without supporting fires. Love the people, condemn the circumstances. But either way, a lot people are excluded from feminism as a movement: women of color, indigenous women, women with disabilities... the list is long.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 04:19 AM
37

Step 1: Post to TwoXChromosomes Step 2: Watch the justifications roll in! I'm openly SWERF because I think women aren't chattel. There's a reason you don't see rich women selling their bodies: no one with options chooses the danger of sex work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 03:16 AM
35

I told this to a male therapist and his mind was BLOWN. Made me wonder what advice he was giving clients before.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 03:08 AM
9

Thank you for that reminder!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 12:25 AM
20

Not "smarter," just more aware of our need for independence. We all get there eventually, some of us just arrive sooner!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 09:21 PM
39

My ex couldn't fathom why I'm constantly doing professional development. But when you're always preparing for your next job, unexpected transitions are just opportunities for growth. Think of related careers and diversify your skill set so industry problems don't put you out of work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 09:17 PM
2

If I have to ask that question a lot in a relationship, it means I can't tell where taking care of myself ends and taking care of another person begins. That happens for 2 reasons: codependency or mental health problems that make it impossible to care for yourself while still considering your partner's needs. IMO, if I have to ask that question often, something is wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 10:44 PM
94

When what you are doing will actively harm your partner or their faith in your relationship. If I told someone we were taking a huge life step together and their reaction was to run? I'd assume they weren't excited about life together. Saying, "Wow, I'm excited but terrified. Can we talk?" Builds communication and shows that you can be vulnerable because you trust each other.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 03:49 AM
6

Been reflecting on this a lot in 2020, the year of Limited Fancy Occasions. I stopped dressing up. Let my natural hair texture grow back. Stopped doing my nails. Put on a little weight. Lived in sweatpants. My fiance hasn't treated me any differently. But I don't FEEL the same. No one else is seeing me, so it's not about the male gaze. It's literally just about taking care of myself to feel confident. The line between self care and performative beauty is thin and easy to mistake without reflecti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 05:36 PM
7

Option D, all of the above?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 12:02 AM
73

Men openly seek out women with personality traits they ascribe to men. "She's like a dude!" is something they say with reverence and longing. Most guys want someone with traditionally male interests and hobbies. It's kind of homophobic NOT to acknowledge how gay it is, IMO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 01:00 AM
33

I won't cook for a man unless it's official, multiple months in, he's charmed my friends and family... there's a long list. My fiance didn't get pad thai or any of my "good dishes" that take effort until we passed the year mark and I'd met his extended family. I'd cook for a new female friend within the month, though. Saves $ on going out to eat!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 12:38 AM
7

Amen, and even with marriage! I'm consulting with an attorney before we purchase a house together because I want clear steps in the event of a divorce.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 10:29 PM
14

Asian individuals and light skinned LatinX individuals are considered people of color because the term BIPOC isn't about colorism. It's a broad term that encompasses multiple races in a way that's difficult to do otherwise. "Asian, Black, LatinX, Spanish, Indigenous Peoples of Multiple Nations, and..." Listing non-whote groups is a mouthful and it's helpful to have shorthand.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 08:23 PM
111

My "feminist" ex used to get so riled up about how we always needed to specify that we don't mean "all men." So during a paint party I made him a coffee cup that said "not all mugs." Petty Level 1,000
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 06:00 PM
39

A good place to start would be the FDS Handbook. Also check out Lundy Bancroft's "Why Does He Do That?" And most importantly, if you're not yet able to recognize red flags, do NOT start dating. Get into therapy to focus on learning healthy communication and boundaries. Establish a safe, supportive female friend group who can hold you accountable and keep tabs on you. You MUST have those things in place before it's safe to start dating! Much love, A woman who has been there and taken the steps
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 01:27 PM
10

Why are these the examples we can find?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 03:20 AM
8

Men will sexually "validate" their hands, pillows, or a plastic bag full of spaghetti tucked between the mattress and the floor. Men also "hate fuck." Male sexual validation means literally nothing. Not even that they find you attractive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 03:11 AM
28

Some women are genuinely clueless about female bodies. Our failed sexual health education programs have led to grown women thinking condoms can "get stuck in there" so you better not use them (questions I've encountered from ADULT WOMEN when I tell them I teach sex ed).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 02:08 PM
7

Yes please, sources! I want to be able to show people who doubt the prevalence of assault.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 02:06 PM
6

Respectfully disagree. Loving and generous acts are a necessity. Being told often that you are cherished, and why, is a necessity. Knowing that you are amazing and not needing confirmation is a necessity. We're assuming those are a given in an FDS Queen's relationship. But with the right HVM who knows you are a Queen looking for his thoughts rather than his approval, it can be a romantic question.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 02:51 AM
92

I know the community advocates not telling about prior trauma and I think it's a good blanket rule since most men are LVM. However, I think that with a vetted, married, HVM partner it can be a healing experience. Sharing trauma before fully processing it independently and with a mental health expert is a recipe for disaster, though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 12:24 AM
32

I think there are a lot of variables to consider. Do you want marriage? Is his name on the lease? Are you in a place you couldn't afford on your own? If you answered 'no' to all of the above, you're probably fine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 12:14 AM
33

I was shook when I learned that most of the "woke, feminist" dudes I know have paid for sexual acts. They said it so casually, like their low-priced handy in a developing nation didn't actively subjugate an actual human being. It's wilfully engaging in slavery. Most men just don't see us as people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 01:52 AM
22

You just described how I got banned from TwoXChromosomes. I regret nothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 01:44 AM
28

A former friend said, "my parents were miserable for YEARS, but they stuck it out and now it's better." Better than miserable? Wow, sign me up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 03:56 PM
6

We're rooting for you!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 02:36 AM
13

I love that you're feeling good! Just be careful about getting emotionally invested before he's even had the chance to show his true colors. He might be amazing! And that would be fantastic! But it's early to let your guard down too far. Imagining a future early on can lead us to put on rose colored glasses that turn red flags invisible. We're proud that you're leveling up and only allowing dudes who treat you well into your life! Go, sis, go!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 02:33 AM
5

This is the problem with bragging about significant others on social media. It shows how low the bar is in some relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 02:28 AM
87

THIS is critical. So many of my beautiful, talented, caring friends fall to pieces when an ex gets married because they take it as a reflection of not being "good enough." No, sis, he just realized he couldn't pull what he thought he could on the single scene. So he shacked up with the first woman who would have him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 02:12 AM
6

If you're financially ready, I highly recommend it! I was worried about the commitment because I love to travel, but if you invest in training they can go basically anywhere with you. He is the center of my universe and I don't know how people are surviving quarantine without a fuzzy friend!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 03:58 PM
132

Aladdin pretended to be a whole other person! He gaslit Jasmine when she started to get suspicious about his lies. Hard pass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 05:44 PM
10

At this point I'm pretty convinced most men are serial rapist, so not far off. (The rest of Reddit would FLIP about that comment, but find me a woman in her 30s who has never been sexually assaulted in some form.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:25 AM
4

Agree! The civility of discourse on here makes me happy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:22 AM
11

I love kids, but don't want children specifically because it puts you in a vulnerable position.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 12:15 AM
37

I agree she's problematic, but I like the quote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 12:09 AM
17

My fiance always calls restaurants ahead of time to note my allergies. My friends act like he's curing cancer, SMH. The bar is in hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 12:06 AM
1

That sums up basically every problem in r/relationships
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 01:56 AM
11

If a man smashes cake on his gorgeous bride, she should immediately get an annulment. If he'll do such a mean spirited and violent thing in front of everyone he loves, what will he do behind closed doors?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 04:47 AM
14

Sweetie, this is why he hasn't proposed. Know your worth and stop making it clear how eager you are to lock down a guy who doesn't even know if he wants to marry you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 04:33 AM
6

I'm allergic to men who make less money than I do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 12:37 AM
15

My fiancé's family loves giving gift cards. I've always found them impersonal. So the first time he got me a gift card, I burst into tears. Instead of being angry, he surprised me with a necklace the next day. He's "not good" at picking out gifts, so he always gets me jewelry, flowers, and a fancy dessert. It's not hard, some men just aren't receptive to feedback because they don't actually care about making women happy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 04:58 PM
14

Why do people think NFL players are so amazing? A friend of mine constantly bragged about "her man," but he was a backup kicker for the Red Skins. That's on the same rung as a record store employee, just more likely to commit domestic violence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 05:33 AM
45

Lord, grant me a time machine so I can read this to my own young, hot ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 11:30 PM
1

Black is a descriptive adjective that serves the function of a proper adjective, thus it should be capitalized. For example, "Asian" is a proper adjective since it is based on the root word Asia, which is a proper noun. "Black" is typically a descriptive adjective, but in the context of describing race or ethnicity it is serving the role of a proper adjective. Hence capitalization. The more you know!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 02:50 AM
4

To be honest, Sean, your dick probably smells like cheese.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 02:22 AM
8

Do you have any friends or family close by who just had a baby, are busy with work, or might be unable to fully clean right now? I bet they'd appreciate you helping clean, then you have another woman with you while you do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 03:46 AM
6

I should clarify: arguing with you is a lost cause if the only thing you will listen to is what you already believe. As a person I'm sure you're lovely. That's not sarcastic, hard to convey tone here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 03:36 AM
22

Translation: PLEASE SAY HOW COOL I AM NOW!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 03:08 AM
8

I've stopped explaining and now just respond with a one-word summary: Cringe. When they type back an ESSAY, I just write: Now cringing harder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 03:06 AM
35

"I went to a poor school and I'm fine, so indisputable racial implications shouldn't be discussed." -- this discussion thread Yikes, ladies! We're better than this! The comic is about women's willingness to consider their own bias and the larger cultural ramifications of our choices, so it's HELLA ironic to shoot down the argument without nuanced discussion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 02:53 AM
7

I'm going to phrase this as kindly as possible: the fact you aren't around Black people often is VERY OBVIOUS. Your hostility towards racial issues is a blindspot for you that needs considerable work. Edited to clarify that this statement is what led to my conclusion: "Everything isn’t a god damn race issue." Yikes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 02:46 AM
9

"especially since statistics and studies these days are about as consistent as the weather" Susan, this woman has openly said she will ignore any science you present. She's a lost cause.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 02:45 AM
2

How quiet it must be in that woman's simple mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 02:29 AM
2

Approached? Any time I go out in public wearing makeup and a dress. By high quality men? Dunno, none of them stand a chance. The vast majority of men compliment me, ask me if I'd go to a meal with them, then politely excuse themselves when I say no thank you. I am definitely the exception to the rule though, as my friends are mainly approached in less gentlemanly ways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 12:09 AM
2

My blood pressure still rises every time I see women peddling this lie. If Walmart workers can't organize in broad daylight, how are sex workers supposed to unionize from the shadows?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 12:02 AM
4

I don't understand that mindset! Even when I was young and naive my first thought was always, "she was reasonable enough for you to marry her, what did you do to make her feel that she has to watch you?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 04:32 PM
10

My fiance is working from home now, and hearing how often he talks about me to his coworkers gives me the warm fuzzies! Every time I catch a fish, or bake something, I hear him showing them a picture the next day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 04:30 PM
61

Notice the very subtle racism/colorism with her skin lightening as she becomes more educated? The OG comic is the worst, love this makeover!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 04:26 PM
8

I teach and love discussing healthy relationships through the lens of Netflix rom-coms with my girls. This and To All the Boys made me throw up in my mouth. Review that next, please!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 05:57 AM
6

Curly Hair and Cottage Core are also predominantly fem spaces that men don't bother to troll. I literally just seek spaces where men won't bother us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 04:45 AM
11

I went to a top law school and SO MANY of my classmates were morons and rapists. We mainly learned how to reframe the truth to support our preferred narrative. I will never be impressed by any degree. Fancy paper typically buys access to sleazy worlds.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 04:37 AM
13

I am so over basically every Reddit sub except FDS and WitchesvPatriarchy. Men, especially white men, COME AT US over minor disagreements in opinion. Then they wonder why we need safe spaces away from their toxicity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 04:18 AM
3

That hit home SO HARD. This is a lesson too many of us needed to learn the hard way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 04:08 AM
11

So if it's harmful to participants and viewers, and it statistically increases human trafficking, why should we be AGAINST banning it? Should we also give babies cigarettes?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 12:46 AM
32

Every straight male friend I've had who was single tried to fuck me. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. I'm not a 10. They just assumed our basic emotional connection meant I was sexually interested.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 04:14 AM
9

The accuracy of the obvious fight picking. The use of personal opinion as fact and simultaneous invalidation of the opinion of others. The use of personal experience as absolute moral truth while denying the experiences of others. Sis, I just got chills from the accuracy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 04:51 PM
232

Several hours before a first date, I realized I would be late. I texted immediately and asked if we could push the time back 30 minutes. It was that simple. I don't understand how people can just waste someone else's time. (Side note: the man is now my fiance. He has never been late without copious notice.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 04:45 PM
39

It felt like a humble brag about his partner, and I am a big fan of people bragging about how great their partner is. So many of my friends openly complain about their partners!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 02:30 PM
25

PTSD and BPD don't necessarily have a lot of overlapping symptoms, but CPTSD and BPD have a lot of overlap, leaving more room for misdiagnosis. Complex CPTSD is more likely to result in symptoms that effect the individual outside of flashbacks, so it can impact "personality" to a greater degree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 04:04 PM
50

When a woman tells me she's divorced, my first response is usually, "congratulations!" Literally no one has ever been displeased with this response. If you're divorced, you deserve a pat on the back for going through hell and deciding to put yourself first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 04:08 AM
3

I don't care what LVMs say or don't say about me because I'm like a good cheese. I develop more complexity with age and appeal exclusively to those with refined palates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 04:05 AM
5

Getting banned from shitty subs is a badge of honor. Congratulations!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 03:50 PM
5

Update us when he comes back after realizing you are truly done! Sure you blocked him, but they always find a way to sneak into DMs on another app. He probably thinks that setting one behavioral expectation, then another will catch you off guard and you won't stick to your guns and stay gone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 06:28 PM
23

This dude cannot stop laughing. Did he hit his head? Should I call an ambulance?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 06:16 PM
8

If I found out my fiance was making these jokes I'd bounce. I wouldn't be embarrassed to leave a man who didn't view me as a prize.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 05:40 PM
2

You think "humor" is making me feel bad? Oh, let me try! "The only thing thinner than your hair is your dick. How do you hide so much blue cheese smell under a pencil?" JUST KIDDING! Drop cash on the table and leave immediately. Don't waste your breath.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 03:19 AM
3

They act like men are literal children who don't understand basic human interactions. Would he grope his boss? No, because he knows better. She doesn't need to teach him how to be a man and it's insanely sexist to imply men are THAT dumb. I'm angry on your behalf and glad you're here instead :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 03:29 AM
5

Interesting perspective. Thanks for taking the time to lay it all out like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 03:16 PM
5

We are allies for WOMEN, not just YOU. YOU had a good experience. Great! We're glad! But most women don't. And we're not here for just YOU when your PRIVILEGED experience does not represent the majority. This is like coming in to a feminist rally and shouting "not all men!" Sure, not ALL sex workers are abused. But if the VAST MAJORITY are, why should we base policy around the privileged few (mainly white) women who do it for fun?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 02:26 PM
15

That would explain SO MUCH. I always get messages from "women" playing "devil's advocate" about things like abuse after posting there. But now I'm banned, so guess I don't have to worry anymore, haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 02:01 PM
3

Listen sweetie, we are glad YOU had a good experience. Now let's move beyond your statistically rare experience and consider how the majority of sex workers are treated. Because it is NOT GREAT and NOT based on choice. People have posted links to studies showing legalization increases trafficking and reduced prices for those already in the industry. It is a net negative. So it's pretty ballsy to say, "it was great for me, so fuck those other women." Because that's what your saying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 01:50 PM
3

A "real woman" wouldn't sell body parts on the black market for cash for clunkers, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 06:46 PM
8

Marshall from How I Met Your Mother Arthur Weasley from Harry Potter Jim Halpert from The Office, but buying a house without consulting Pam was garbage and no one can tell me otherwise Prince Harry is so far removed from normal life he feels like a fictional character? ... I'm sad that this is such a hard question to answer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 08:53 PM
9

I'm horrified for her. Fingers crossed she'll be on this sub in less than 5 years, remembering the LVM she went to prom with and laughing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 08:50 PM
54

At a big family function I was getting a plate of BBQ. My boyfriend's shitty uncle asked if I was going to make BF a plate. Before I could sass back, BF's mother yelled, "His arms aren't broken, fuck off." His mother knows what's up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 06:35 PM
29

So John coerced her into a sexual act she clearly didn't want. He knew she didn't want it, and proceeded anyway. So he raped her, then broke up with her. Wow. There are no words.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 06:25 PM
90

... but if you fuck with my friends, that's another story. Maturity gone if you come at my ladies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 08:44 PM
10

My response to all negging: Stare blankly ahead while they're talking, because they're a ghost not worth a second of your day. Laugh when they're done because they basically just acted like an incel in public. How embarrassing for them! Shake your head and smile as you walk away because THE AUDACITY of that virgin scrote! Queens don't bother with responses. It makes them feel smaller when we show them they can't touch us. You deserve your treats! Order something delicious delivered because you'r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 01:33 AM
1

It's all good, it's hard to have a nuanced conversation on the internet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 05:37 PM
13

I think people are willfully taking this statement the wrong way, but it is a problematic blanket statement. I have CPTSD. Before I was in treatment I was a nightmare and not ready to date. I still have a mental illness. But now I'm in therapy, properly medicated, and aware of how to care for myself. I have healthy boundaries and habits. People with mental health issues who WORK ON those issues tend to be more self aware than average because of the self-work they've put in. THOSE people are obvi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 08:18 PM
55

He's literally throwing a temper tantrum because he's not getting prostitution from women just going on dates. And he's so entitled he thinks we'll change based on his threat to leave! Hahahahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 08:00 PM
85

Once I was sitting in the front child seat of the grocery cart. A man asked my mother if he could take me and marry me. Literal child trafficker acting in broad daylight with no shame. People around us heard and did nothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 04:17 PM
10

A guy once said he worried I was "using him." I didn't mean to be rude, but I laughed out loud and asked him what he had that he could even be used for! "If I'm a gold digger, I'm bad at my job because you don't have any gold."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 11:09 PM
17

The better my mental health, the lower my libido. I used to use sex as an escape and a distraction. Now that I've learned healthy ways to feel connected to others, I'm less of a female fuckboi.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 10:47 PM
5

I remember how great my life was before him. Yes, he enhances my life. But I think about how I was capable of creating a life worth living all on my own. I also maintain my own life. Hobbies, friends, finances, housing. All of it is independent of him. This also helps me maintain an escape plan. Should anything happen, I can walk away and resume my prior life without missing a beat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 02:36 AM
79

I burned dinner? "It's better crispy!" I made a simple craft? "People pay hundreds of dollars for art that beautiful!" I actually put on makeup during quarantine? "You are so fucking cute all the time and you look extra hot today." He is my cheerleader to my face and behind my back. I can't go back to dudes who make me feel bad on purpose.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 05:29 PM
1

Translation: "I know I can't say it's your job to fix me because I want to sound like a good guy. So I'll couch it and act like I'm taking partial credit for your hard work making me a better man." Gross. No thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 05:17 PM
1

My male couple's therapist had never heard this sentiment until I told him. He would constantly bring it up afterwards because it was "an extreme viewpoint." There's a reason I'm not seeing him or my ex anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 09:47 PM
3

What if she doesn't give a fuck if YOU like her cooking, Brad? Women can do things without your approval, dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 09:35 PM
12

NoT aLL wHiTe MeNz!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 09:33 PM
83

A guy I dated said something about his "crazy" exes. I pointed out that the common denominator was him. Since they were all great at first, what did he do that made them ALL change? He's a decent guy, so he said he'd never thought about it and would need to reflect. A few days later he said he'd had boundary issues and made girls jealous for attention. We never dated because of the above, but he had just literally never thought about his actions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 09:31 PM
8

My ex used to complain, "you always side with women!" No, I just think women rarely get the benefit of the doubt and our expectations of women are often unforgiving and unreasonable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 06:12 PM
23

"PiCk mE I LiKe ShOrT GuYz!" Like tall guys, like short guys, like whoever you want. But don't tell other women to change their standards when most men don't even brush their teeth twice a day and the bar is already on the floor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 05:22 PM
17

Can we just call out that the author is terrible at conveying the tone of a filmed RAPE, but also just a bad writer overall? "while the brine flows from her eyes" WTF is this?!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 05:14 PM
24

I sometimes wear it because I like feeling "done up," but it tends to come with unwanted male attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 01:38 AM
134

But men are ViZuaL!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 01:28 AM
2

I feel like I get to have champagne and eggs for late breakfast on a Sunday morning because I have money and free time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 09:54 PM
3

Most women I know constantly puff up their girlfriends. "OMG, you know so much about everything!" instead of joking about how someone is a "nerd" "You're so ambitious! You work so hard!" instead of joking about how someone should buy them drinks If he doesn't make you feel like a Gorgeous Queen, what good is he? My boyfriend is my fucking hype squad. Why bother otherwise?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 09:39 PM
16

I live every day fearing that the child pornogaphy my rapist taped could be floating around the internet and somehow used to blackmail or humiliate me. The fact I fear retribution for my rape is because asshats like this OPENLY SEEK OUT child pornography and will face zero consequences. 95% of men are trash and I will say it to anyone who asks me to my face.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 09:17 PM
11

Before Rona, I used to love going solo to upscale bars and reading a book while having a nice cocktail. My favorite bartenders know not to let men buy me drinks or bother me. "She's reading a book, sir, I think she wants to be left alone." YOU ROCK, WALTER!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 10:16 PM
6

My boyfriend agrees large swaths of men are trash. We live in a big city where street harassment is common. He isn't afraid to step in and ask a woman if she's okay or if she needs help. That's the thing: they all see what we see. Some dudes are just ready to admit it and challenge it and some dudes don't care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 10:08 PM
2

Hard pass on straight male friends. Close male acquaintances are fine, but only if we talk positively about their partner when together.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 10:03 PM
2

My boyfriend is waiting to propose until my family can be around, but I've already said that shit is grounds for an annulment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 06:01 PM
4

Years ago. Current boo is fiscally responsible and has enough savings to last him months should he be laid off due to Covid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 05:53 PM
6

I was labeled a "bulldozer" by a man in law school. That shit literally still fuels me, years later. It was like Lady Power Red Bull, fucking gave me wings. Thanks for being a dickless dipshit, Jason, you made me see myself as POWERFUL for the first time!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 09:43 PM
22

I had a boyfriend who lost his job. He was a great guy, but he hadn't proposed, so clearly he was still deciding on me. I'm not going to support a man who is deciding if I'm good enough for him. It would have cost me nothing to let him stay with me. But nah thanks. I look too good naked for that shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 09:37 PM
31

UHHHHG this is like when men shove cake in the bride's face and pretend it's cute. You just fucking assaulted your new wife, Paul, no one is laughing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 09:32 PM
5

Why do you feel bad for them? They are capable of exercising, getting better haircuts, and dressing better. Women look good because we TRY. Hard and often. They're capable of doing the same, so save your pity :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 10:53 PM
17

And I bet so many women will commiserate. "My husband is the same way!" It makes me sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 06:07 PM
12

"Your job is to make other people feel good. If you can't do that, they won't want to see you anymore." -- Mothers with internalized misogyny
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 06:04 PM
128

My ex best friend married the guy even though she knew he assaulted me. She also knew he had assaulted her other best friend. This same woman is all #MeToo on Facebook. Bitch, please.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 06:00 PM
8

They're worried you'll realize your worth and bolt for a hotter dude. They feel the need to tear you down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 07:35 PM
8

PREACH. All my LVM exes are single because they developed the perception we were in the same league. One even texted me, "I'll never get another girl as hot as you." I know, bro, my bad for making you think you stood a chance. All my HVM exes are married because they were great men and attracted beautiful, amazing wives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 07:34 PM
3

That's not even practical! Like dude, what if you want another pancake later? It seems like going OUT OF YOUR WAY to be an ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 07:14 PM
22

Let me just confirm their worst fears: Yes, women want to date hot men. Yes, women want to date financially stable men. I'm hot and financially independent. Why would I waste my time with someone who isn't on my level?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 07:02 PM
0

You're doing the guy thing. "Stop being so sensitive and caring what people think." You're also engaged in the conversation and clearly care. Let's not minimize feelings, that's silly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 04:37 PM
1

Don't know why this was downvoted. I'll be honest, this is one of my favorite subs, but I sometimes think there are deep divides on financial perspectives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 04:36 PM
57

Let's not delude ourselves into thinking this is just LVM. All the LVW who cop for terrible men can be even more stunningly hurtful because we expect solidarity and wind up with rejection. Looking at you, "feminists" women still staying friends with the man who sexually assaulted me. Tweeting about sexism and #metoo while telling me that I was drunk and probably wanted it. Women who fail to stand by women disgust me. I expect shit behavior from men, but I always hope women will do better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 06:17 PM
2

I know there's a competitive part of him that thinks he's in the "most spoiled girlfriend" Olympics and I don't want him to quit the race, haha. We talked and I think I know what he's going to do. Glad I clarified and decided to just trust his judgment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 04:40 PM
1

Thank you for this. I clarified my language with him. I told him that by "placeholder" I meant something that considered my tastes and the current state of the world. He laughed and said, "I know what you meant." He never considered something cheap, just adjusting and upgrading later. I'm going to lean in to trusting his judgment on what is appropriate. Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 04:38 PM
1

I needed to hear these comments, thank you. I had this guilt about getting something nice while other people are losing their jobs. It seems deeply unfair. But ultimately I trust his judgment and know he wants to treat me like a queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 04:34 PM
1

You're right :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 04:33 PM
6

I replied to others downthread, but wanted to tell you directly that I did sit with these comments and they are what led me to ultimately tell him "you know my morals, but I trust your judgment." I think you are right and I do trust his judgment, so I told him to buy what he wants. He knows me well and knows I like 3 stone rings, so I think he's going to get me slightly smaller diamonds and give the rest to a food bank I volunteer with. Either that or just donate to them to soothe my concerns. (…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 04:33 PM
1

Disagree about the PickMe, but I think finances are where some FDSers diverge. To me, PickMe is when standards are lowered to impress and gain attention. I have his attention and know I'll be getting a proposal either way, but part of me would feel ultimately GUILTY getting a luxury item when that additional money could be going to better sources. He knows me well. After our conversation, I think he's going to temporarily lower the price range (it's still diamonds) and give the rest to a food ba…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 04:26 PM
1

Agree! I upvoted. The comments here are what helped me decide that he's a financially literate adult and though I'm not used to being "spoiled" with expensive jewelry, it's his choice if he wants to give me a nice gift.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 04:18 PM
1

I've been on FDS for a while and have many posts in this sub. Really don't remember the "luxury purchases in an international pandemic" part of the handbook. So don't see how I'm "ignoring the rules." Commented below about how reading the replies led me to my ultimate decision that he should decide. So no, I'm not "ignoring everyone." Wishing me the best while being condescending is totally transparent and I'm smart enough to see through it. Being honest, this is the type of commentary that driv…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 04:16 PM
1

Respectfully disagree with you here. He wants to honor my preferences. I'm just trying to figure out what those preferences are. And our finances will be joined, so I do care. We're very open with each other about where we stand financially because I couldn't imagine marrying someone I hadn't spoken with in-depth about money management. I know he can do it, it's a question of what I want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 06:28 PM
1

This really hit home, thank you! I think that's what it boils down to. He wants to "spoil me," but I'm not sure if that's the way that I want to be spoiled. He's good with his money so I trust his judgment. But I'm not sure I feel comfortable because I'm not sure whether I want something extravagant during a pandemic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 06:23 PM
1

I'm in therapy for general anxiety, but appreciate the suggestion. She said she doesn't think there's a "wrong" choice here since either way he'll eventually get me the ring, these are just unprecedented times and it's okay to feel like it's not practical.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 06:18 PM
8

I don't think it's a track record, but I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for years. I didn't leave because he slowly convinced me I was unlovable and everyone except him hated me. I became a she'll of myself. The thing that got me out of it was therapy. A very protective woman who asks me tough questions helped me burst the bubble of delusion. I now have a therapist, a psychiatrist, and a relationship coach. If I want to hide anything from them, I know it must be bad. That makes it re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 06:21 PM
5

Well between the two of us, honestly he's got bigger tits to bring to the table
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 04:00 AM
8

My best friend is my emergency contact. Relationship listed as "ride or die." But when I was hospitalized twice this summer, my boyfriend was the first one on the scene. My friend called him and he rushed over, then the two of them coordinated my care so I was never alone during visiting hours. My best friend is my family, but this man is trying hard to get into the open second place spot in my heart.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 03:54 AM
47

"If that's rape, then I've raped a woman. So clearly it's not rape." Actual quote from a real human male I was in grad school with. That fucker is a family law attorney right now. When we think of our ass-backward legal system, I think of the scrotes running and see why nothing works.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 05:51 PM
3

Making HVW friends has been a huge part of the game changer. My friend circle is MUCH smaller, yet I feel so much more supported and I constantly have fun things to do. More friends doesn't equate with a better quality of life. Longevity isn't a sufficient basis for friendship, but it took me too long to learn that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 05:48 PM
3

It's such a low bar, yet so few manage to jump it! The audacity of their entitlement is MIND-BOGGLING. I blame media that taught them they deserve a pretty pretty princess for being the hero in their own story by nature of simply existing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 05:34 PM
5

Garden gnome is such a perfect description for a garden-variety neckbeard troll. Thanks for the new lingo!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 05:32 PM
33

Hope you sent a thank you card since he helped you dodge a bullet. "Thanks for making yourself scarce, Paul. Really improved my life."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 02:27 AM
2

I would want someone to provide me with that information before committment. That said, it wouldn't a dealbreaker for me. The best sex of my life was with the smallest penis I've ever seen in real life. He was the best because he was intimate, passionate, and great at going down on me. My advice would be to learn about how to go down on a woman (literature, videos, there are plenty of options). Commit to finding alternative ways to please your future wife if needed.
/r/askFDS14/03/20 02:02 AM
6

"TAME YOUR FLOW," yes girl! I was looking for how to explain the way my ex basically begged my excitement. Once he actually told me, "it's annoying when you're really excited about stuff." SORRY YOUR DEPRESSION ISN'T CONTAGIOUS, MICHAEL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 01:30 AM
13

That date was terrible, but at least she made it entertaining for herself Turning lemons into lemonade
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 01:17 AM
24

I wish I learned this lesson a decade ago, but looking back and cringing means I'm growing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 12:12 AM
3

If you have to ask if it's a red flag, typically the answer is "yes."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 03:06 AM
24

But I wouldn't date an honest broke man, either. I manage my finances. Why would I date someone who couldn't do the same?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 02:32 AM
5

Nope! They post happy looking couple pics on social media constantly, but I've heard through the grapevine her behavior hasn't changed. Some people prioritize having a spouse, any spouse,over having a good life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 12:35 AM
13

When my shitty ex cheated, I didn't reach out to the side chick. I did reach out to the side chick's fiance, though. That felt morally right. I also let the side chick's fiance know my shitty ex was a delivery guy (he'd been lying to the girl and telling her he was rich, lol). I wanted that detail to get back to her. I'll admit the second part was petty. I don't regret it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 02:45 AM
13

I like the safety net of having MY place. MY name is on the lease, MY furniture and decor fill the space. Current HotGuy wanted to move in together, but I can't do that before marriage. I like our current arrangement: he has a tiny closet and pays 75% of the rent. I genuinely love having him around. But if he fucked up tomorrow, I'd just have more closet space.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 03:06 AM
48

Men act so weird when I tell them is my favorite book. Losers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 01:32 AM
236

For the lurker men: he's taller than me, but he's under 6'. He makes a good living, but he's not rich. Yet women constantly hit on him. Why? BECAUSE HE'S A GOOD MAN. Stop making excuses about why women don't want you. If no one is interested in you, it's because of your personality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 03:20 AM
9

Yassss Queen, treat yourself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 04:21 PM
143

If men have the biological imperative to "impregnate as many women as possible," fine. We can play the faux-science game. Women have the biological imperative to choose the healthiest, most virile, muscular, TALL, rich, charming man. They should trade up at any given time to protect their offspring. We are not "biologically programmed" to fuck men with low to average wage jobs, men who live at home, men without chiseled abs, men without a full head of hair, men below 6', and men who aren't hung …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 04:20 PM
2

"I personally find severe pickmeisha’s very harmful to women’s progress- they side with things that hold us back as a sex." I think we're in complete agreement on the issue overall. I just don't like language equating a lack of intelligence with undesired behaviors (special ed teacher here).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 05:23 PM
8

When I left a terrible relationship, I made a weekly schedule: 1 night a week of spa-like self care, 1 night of a social hobby, 1 night of a quiet solo hobby, and 1 friend date. I'd also try to call an old friend at least once. The phone call could be squeezed in with another activity, so it was only 4 nights a week. For my social activity, I sought out a women's writing group. Find something with only women, those environments are more conducive to growing friendships. You've got this! Set some…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 04:49 PM
25

This should be higher up! I self diagnosed as "codependent" and my therapist HIT THE ROOF. "There's no such thing as 'codependency.' It pathologies the socialized female tendency to lower boundaries when in abusive relationships. That includes abuse caused by being partnered with an addict, which is inherently a form of abuse." It made me feel free to level up, actually. It made my problems SOLVABLE instead of PATHOLOGICAL. We can fix boundary issues with therapy, strong female friendships, and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 04:43 PM
9

"Yeah sis is simply short of a few brain cells." I'm going to push back on this idea a little. We ALL needed to grow out of socialized Pickmeisha behavior. Some people had an easier journey, some needed to get hurt to learn. Men shit on us enough. I don't think we need to celebrate stupid choices, but I also think implying she's stupid furthers the idea that there's no hope for women who want more and better. I'm sure we're on the same page overall, just wanted to clarify a small language differ…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 04:33 PM
11

If this gets reposted every day, I will still upvote it. It's a mindset shift that many women need! My past Pickmeisha self included.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 04:28 PM
12

THANK YOU! As porn gets more blatantly incestuous, "she's like my sister" sounds more and more creepy coming from a dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 02:36 AM
4

I want to feel like someone planned something special for me. Without giving super revealing details, my ex planned and elaborate and beautiful proposal that made me feel really cherished. It didn't work out, but the effort put in still warms my heart.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 02:14 AM
25

WOW. That is literally horrifying
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 01:30 AM
9

OH MY LAWD. Just checked it out. That ENTIRE sub is women proposing! A woman proposing to her "gamer" long distance boyfriend, a woman proposing to her boyfriend 8 YEARS even though she's "dreamed of being proposed to since she was a little girl." This is sobering as hell. Even worse than a "shut up" ring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 01:25 AM
10

DING DING DING! Men look for ways to frame ALL women as worthless: moms, women who don't want kids, women over 30 who are "washed up," women under 30 who are "shallow" for having standards. They want us all to think we're unwanted to they stand a chance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 01:17 AM
4

I've literally had ONE male friend who didn't eventually try to fuck me. He's a total HVM. He has 3 deal-breaker boundaries in mixed gender friendships: no complaining about relationships, no discussions of intimacy, and meet ups in public places. He respects his wife and wants her to be comfortable if he goes out with a female friend. His wife is a doll and he knows he needs to work to keep her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 12:49 AM
26

YUP. My male friend said something about wanting a woman who is "naturally beautiful." He works out a lot, so I said I want someone ripped who doesn't "waste their life at the gym." Suddenly it clicked for him. Most men lack empathy and need a comparison rooted in their own perspective to understand the feelings of others.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 12:25 AM
41

I've lost so many things in breakups because I just wanted OUT! I lost a damn kayak. Just got my stuff, drove off in the night with my dog, and blocked him on everything. Just because we lived together he thought I couldn't ghost him. WRONG.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 11:11 PM
5

My friend has a 4 week old baby. She's still incredibly sore and exhausted, so I offered to pull the night shift and let her sleep. My boyfriend stepped up to the plate and offered to help without me asking. He alternated shifts with me and took an extra one because "I need more sleep" than he does (TRUTH). It really increased my trust and faith in him. Not enough to have a kid with him, but I can't trust men like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 12:16 AM
7

I was early 20s. He was 35+? Still not sure. "My wife and I have an open relationship." "My wife and I are separating." His much younger best friend ended up telling me they were very much together and she was pregnant. He hit me up again later, but I was smarter. I was also fucking his hot best friend. Young me was a damn mess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 12:43 AM
7

If it's "just a piece of paper" and would make one of the people in the relationship feel more secure, why NOT do that for someone you love? If it's not a big deal," then it should be easy to give your partner as a gesture of commitment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 03:38 AM
11

People who have gone through this, what are some clues it's a "shit up" ring?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 05:04 AM
43

I don't know and don't care. And it feels great :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 04:59 AM
22

I was walking with a male "friend" and a guy interrupted us to try and chat with me. Stupid male fuckery 1. I signed back asking if he knows ASL and he just shrugged and walked away. My male friend said I was "being an asshole" for "pretending to be deaf." I signed back to him that I learned basic ASL for work. Signing isn't "pretending to be deaf," it's speaking another language! So that was stupid fuckery 2. Then I told him that it must be nice to not worry about your safety any time strange m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 04:46 AM
4

LVMs tried to destroy my self-esteem by making me self-conscious about being Latina. "You're just jealous because she's white." When I said a Black contestant on a show was my favorite. "I normally date hot blonde girls, but your personality and seeing you naked made me realize how hot you are." LVM telling me they racially fetishize me. "You're so exotic." (I'm from Florida, fool.) "I really only date petite Latina women. It's the only kind of porn I get off to." And the usual general fuckery. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 08:01 PM
41

I'm genuinely terrible at remembering dates. So I got a calendar. Problem solved. It was SO EASY. Men pretend something is SO HARD so they can be forgiven when they choose not to do it. But if he WORKED HARD solving such a simple problem, he's dumb.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 03:48 AM
21

I'm an elementary school teacher with a service animal. My nurturing instincts are used up before lunch every day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 03:59 AM
6

I wanted a trial run, but on my terms and with my security prioritized, not his. My lease, my apartment, my rules. He can put some stuff in an entry closet, pay half the rent, and stay over pretty often so I get a sense of extended time with him. But I get final say in all decisions relating to the place since it is MINE, not his. If he messes up or fails to propose by my deadline, he ends up homeless. I still have my gorgeous apartment AND I gain a closet. I lose nothing and my life stays stabl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 10:53 PM
4

ALL CAPS VOTE OF YASSSSSSSSSSSS!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 10:19 PM
5

100% agree. Just wanted to humble brag that the day before my period I might actually be asleep at 7, haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 02:23 PM
9

Not listening to girlfriends trying to look out for you has never made sense to me. I've dated some LVMs and my best friend was always honest in her assessments. She refused to take any LVMs seriously and made that clear to both me and them. I respect her opinion and have found it's hard to see something when you're in the middle of it, so it would always make me step back and try to look at the relationship more objectively. That's not to say the results are always immediate! But I tried to alw…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 04:49 AM
12

Not listening to girlfriends trying to look out for you has never made sense to me. I've dated some LVMs and my best friend was always honest in her assessments. She refused to take any LVMs seriously and made that clear to both me and them. I respect her opinion and have found it's hard to see something when you're in the middle of it, so it would always make me step back and try to look at the relationship more objectively. That's not to say the results are always immediate! But I tried to alw…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 04:48 AM
385

Advice to woman: Maybe he has depression? You should make a doctor's appointment for him, drive him, pay for it, and take care of him while he recovers from this trauma. You've been coddling him and this is pretty much all your fault Advice to man: Wow, it sounds like she's really pushy and trying to force you to get married! You should definitely dump her, you deserve better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 01:34 PM
7

I also think that while the rule is reactionary to men, for women struggling to prioritize friendship, it could be a good starting point. I'm sure at some point those friendships develop and spending quality time with other women becomes a habit, so the rule can fall by the wayside.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 02:11 AM
14

I think reflecting on our value doesn't inherently mean our value as viewed through the male gaze. Maybe I'm wrong, but I think OP means she's creating a fuller, richer life which she sees as increasing her self-worth. Thinking in terms of "value" helps me think about the type of WOMEN I value, what traits they possess that I admire, and how I can cultivate those traits within myself. My "value" is based on whether I am living in a way that I would admire in someone else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 02:08 AM
6

"Bitch don't you think she's anxious because she's constantly being fucking lied to?" YES! What is it with men gaslighting and then pretending it's benevolent and in a woman's best interest? It's so infantilizing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 03:37 AM
18

This! I was kidnapped and later adopted, so I have 3 birth certificates with 3 different names. As evidenced by the whole kidnapping thing, my family is a DUMPSTER FIRE. I can't wait to shed their name, especially if I love the way the new name sounds. I think as long as a woman is the one making the decision, IDGAF which option she chooses. I would never even ask why she made that choice. Her life, her choices.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 12:30 AM
13

I think FDS is about more than dating, so this is a perfect place to share your goal of leveling up! FDS seems to be about making our lives revolve around US, not MEN. It's such a shockingly radical concept and completely changes so many of our social filters. So it affects dating, but I think it also affects how we see the world and ourselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 02:42 AM
28

She's very embarrassed, but it gave me a chance to show her this subreddit. It's such a game changer and I love when women start thinking more about themselves! 2020 will be good for her, she just doesn't know it yet. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 01:17 AM
6

Please don't stress yourself out about a police report if you've taken steps and it appears it's not going anywhere. You reported and did the right thing. From there it's out of your hands and you should focus on your recovery. The law often does everything possible to protect garbage men, so focus on protecting and healing yourself since you've done all you can.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 06:39 PM
6

This sub has already started helping me with that. Rather than overcompensating, I find myself sitting back and making my decisions based on the amount of effort others put in. I always bring my best self to the table in relationships, so if others won't do the same, it's not my burden to help them treat me right. For me, this is mainly the case with work. I love my job, but overcompensate and other people have learned they can slack. FDS principles apply in all areas of my life now and they nee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 03:39 PM
3

I completely agree because I think the vast majority of people do use it, some just lie and say they don't so they don't have to be honest about their life with everyone. Just stating no social media isn't a dealbreaker for me because I think there are legitimate reasons not to have it. High five for our civil conversation!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 03:14 PM
9

I don't have any social media except LinkedIn. I don't want anyone creeping on my life and I don't want to waste time finding out what acquaintances are doing with their boring SOs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 02:42 AM
6

Can someone find a link to the study showing that even in households with two partners who perceived themselves as equally splitting housework, women did something like 30% more chores? This is why I would never personally be with a SAHD. We can't wholely undo socialized gender norms and I'm not doing more work both in and out of the home. It might work for some, but I've never personally met any straight men or women loving their SAHD arrangement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 08:41 PM
2

I LOVE my job and have taken on a lot of new responsibilities in 2019, so I just want to continue my work journey at my current pace. I have good girlfriends, but I want to expand my social circle to women in other career fields and I think taking on more hobbies will help with that. So most of my goals are related to my hobbies and building a full, rich life: Finish my YA novel Do at least 3 standup shows (one scheduled in February already) Prioritize friend group activities (at least 1 per wee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 08:13 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter