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View 2 posts and 156 comments by TokiMarvel on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
41

DISCUSSIONTokiMarvel/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 12:52 AM
41

DISCUSSIONTokiMarvel/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 01:18 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 06:19 PM
2

The flair concept is still unclear to me. Is it a thing granted to members based on interaction, participation, mods’ discretion, popularity, or something else? When first I joined, I got the impression that moving up “levels” would be difficult because Apprentices and up knew one another or something similar. It turned me off about how it was described back then.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 02:38 PM
24

Abso-fucking-lutely. It’s a requirement for a man before physical intimacy to have showered and smell decently. Living with a man and sharing a bathroom has been a nightmare. I grew up spoiled by my dad having his own bathroom plus he was a regimented tidy person. Even watching my dad and other male relatives taking care to fully groom and clean themselves, wear fresh underwear and pressed clothes(they ironed their own), and making sure they smelled Heavenly, I’m too spoiled.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 07:15 PM
33

Congratulations, lady, you adopted a smelly wino.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 03:09 PM
121

It really stinks to be afraid in your own space. I grew up having a revolving door of my dad’s friends show up to chat. I usually retreated to a quiet place to be alone. As a adult, someone else has to deal with maintenance workers or inspectors otherwise no one is coming into my home. I’m grateful my building has a communal space to read, internet, and exercise. That’s where I go when a stranger needs to be around. I used to stay in my bedroom but once, a worker went around the place, opening d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 03:00 PM
1

I too have been gifted a Dyson and a steam mop from someone I dated. My disapproval was intense. He retreated like a scared puppy. Hardly used the Dyson because “it was too heavy to maneuver”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 01:42 PM
1

That’s all on the recommended reading page. If you’re looking for step by step blueprints to become a better person FDS is not for you. They encourage self-reflection, seeing a therapist, finding out what works for you to become a better you, not a clone. There’s even a subreddit focused solely on those who are actively working on themselves. Use what applies to your situation and ignore the rest. Like how simple is that to understand? If you like building ships in bottles, you watch others doin…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/21 11:16 PM
14

At least he didn’t start crying…in public…repeatedly. This one hated his deceased mom for how his dad treated her. And he still lived with the POS dad. He spent our first meeting talking badly about his exes. It wasn’t a coincidence he dated women who were therapists or with psychology degrees.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 02:36 AM
4

Using the same tone and enthusiasm for him taking out the trash as your pets taking their medication without drama.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 03:33 PM
1

‼️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 11:03 PM
1

Forgiving is rare for me. I move on and eliminate people from my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 10:52 PM
2

Ucky. Reminds me of the outside clothes or ‘Traveling Clothes’ argument. You went outside and sat down everywhere, leaned against anything, smell like outside but you still park yourself on a pristine duvet on the bed?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 10:25 PM
2

I suspect this’ll happen for many women, especially after COVID, who finally leave men. Mine wasn’t so sinister, it was mostly enabling me to stay helpless and disabling my ability to get better. It’s lack of sleep that brings on the loss of sanity, depression.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 10:14 PM
2

This is exactly why I don’t mention that I’m good at bowling. I simply hand their ass to them after a match or two.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 07:08 PM
4

You and me both. I’ve expressed on other posts it’s a whole thing I’m not into(never) and had pushback about giving pleasure to someone you love, controlling a man through them, etc. Nothing about it seems appealing. I’ve laughed at guys who tried to convince me to do it. Nope, no one’s going to peer pressure me into something I don’t like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 06:57 PM
10

Make sure he has a rice cooker and knows how to use it then.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 08:51 AM
206

He cares more about hanging out with his buds and her being proven wrong than her and her son’s actual health. Wonderful. How selfish.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 08:29 AM
27

Talk about it. Every time I bucked back physically, they didn’t know what to do. I’ve been fortunate to have those sumbitches be thrown off by my tiny ass and panic. Other people have defended them, though, and made me the problem. Shows that they were cowardly sitting back, letting the status quo remain unchallenged until it became a public issue. Always be loud, never be afraid to embarrass them. Make a scene.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 12:45 AM
6

This one guy had an icky urine stained floor in the bathroom. And he didn’t even see it as a problem. He visited my place and blurted our that I was messy because of my cluttered vanity table and stack of books on the coffee table. The audacity was simply flabbergasting. If his home is a mess, his life is too, I one hundred percent agree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 06:01 PM
17

Dating much older men is a definite no for me. I had a dad who was the same age as my Grandma. A few years older, not more than three is okay. Except, my most recent partner sounds exactly like ok’ Pops on the phone. insert displeased face
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 05:47 PM
5

Knowledge is power and they want us to remain ignorant of better ways to live.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 07:23 PM
22

When I didn’t do X, I’d find the home in disarray. I got sick and bedridden. Day three I check on things. The critters haven’t been fed or watered, there’s paper everywhere, dishes piled up, trash(his only fucking mandatory job) overflowing, anything dropped still on the floor, and he’s three screens deep in a video game. And he knew the chore routine! This is why I will never again cook or clean up after a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 06:47 PM
37

Just go and work out the details later. It’s doubtful he’ll want to fully raise an infant alone the way she’s been doing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 07:05 AM
2

It’s not ideal but I’ve been known to start cussing and get up ready to throw hands with the kissy-facers. I use my RBF now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 06:57 AM
14

Ooh, I would’ve burst into laughter watching this scrote try to fix the doorknob. My dad, a well-travelled two-branch military man, once argued with me for hours over the fact that you can’t fly from NY to China going West because the world wasn’t continuous like that. He was stationed in Asia-Pacific from his home state of New York. I was gobsmacked a 70 year old man believed this. After he went on his ‘Windows Vista’, he came back to admit I was right. I learned very early on to let him be wro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 05:02 AM
15

Sometimes it’s subtle like not being proactive in considerations for your partner that won’t inconvenience them but make your life a whole lot better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 06:01 PM
22

Sebastian was right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 10:51 PM
8

“Don’t Date Him, Girl” was a good one way back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 10:10 PM
2

I’ve been there, not wanting to leave the hospital or continuing to stay ill so that I didn’t have to go back home quickly. It’s twofold, guilty about being in poor health while the house is falling apart but feeling relieved it’s severe enough you that someone else takes care of you and you get a reprieve. This woman’s situation makes me cry because she was near death unnecessarily because a male POS was depraved and selfish. Hopefully she left him and is living a better life now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 08:59 PM
4

I won’t put any dick near my face unless he’s my husband, and I’m not getting married so… One guy I was spending time with knew that I would never. But he interrupted our convo once to loudly proclaim that he needed a bj before he died. There were echoes of laughter in my head while I continued talking and ignored him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 08:41 PM
7

STB-ex has jokes, not real human emotions. I make sure to tell him every time he jokes that he needs to work harder on being actually funny. Suddenly he has feelings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 04:35 AM
7

My critter used to play and hide in the bathroom so I started calling him the “pee pee bun”. Needless to say, he stopped doing it real fast. If a 3lb bunny can learn to stop…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 03:34 AM
4

The essence of Steve Urkel. “I’m wearing you down!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 08:25 AM
13

Whyyy? Every damn day, too. Years of interrupted sleep exacerbating my insomnia. Snorers, the heavy kind, need to be solitary beings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 09:57 PM
9

Hopefully. My dad was retired early and stayed home before I started elementary school. That man was not idle. He taught me and my sibling many skills for life(like cooking in leaner times, how to grow your own food, housekeeping, banking , carpentry). I can’t imagine any of these men now doing that and ensuring proper learning and social skills for their children AND maintaining traditional masculinity markers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 09:50 PM
18

Eff his low T having voice. If you want a woman, man up and meet her at her level—high. These men really like being mediocre, undereducated, lacking empathy, and broke. None of the previous sounds very “alpha”. How are you going to lead and take care of a family on the bare minimum when you have the ability and resources to do more? No, scrotes. You don’t get a prize for just showing up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 09:41 PM
2

Another gal here who learned traditional male and feminine things. Funnily enough, both were taught by my dad. He wanted another son (much older brother went off to military), and some maids around during his own early retirement. I did like a few things I learned, but didn’t see the skills as perfect for my future husband. They were for me and have helped me build many a bookshelf, repair a shower, install a bidet, cook a hearty meal with homegrown veg, iron stiff pleats in pants or skirts, wax…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 06:02 AM
9

The support systems as a whole are similar in response too. MATCH Group owns some of the popular ones: Match, OKC, Hinge, Tinder, Black People Meet, Our Time, PoF.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 05:24 AM
3

Ouch. Desperate? She’ll learn soon enough, I hope. I remember fondly when I got bold and started asking guys out. Of the two who said yes, both became lazy and complacent and stopped making effort. One expressed that was why he wanted to break up, because I wasn’t “taking the initiative”. I still laugh about that. Internally and in discussion with my friends, I kept wanting him to man up and wait on me to do anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 02:57 AM
6

Almost exactly the same with me. I said, “You can wash your own clothes, alright?” This was from the beginning of living together. I’ve done less than a handful of his loads in over ten years (out of my personal convenience). After having to do my dad’s laundry, including line drying, as a kid, I decided I was going to focus on my own clothes’ specific laundering rules. There’s no room for anyone else’s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 02:05 AM
11

Does anyone have tips on how to stay positive in a crappy situation? I’m talking about a daily living situation. Should try to create a tiny portable oasis/self-care kit?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 01:03 AM
3

OT: Does your username refer to the restaurant?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 10:23 AM
18

Yes! I open all of the jars at home oddly enough. My guy always has trouble with this and just about any other package. It’s like a wild animal ripped open things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 06:39 PM
7

You’re supposedly funny because you didn’t play his disgusting dumb game. How woefully unaware.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 06:34 PM
18

OT: I once stood in a superhero pose at an old job and my immediate supervisor wrote me up and gave me a suspension. She was new to our department and tried to bully me and make me cower as she was accustomed to in another division. I’m guessing she felt powerless because I wasn’t maintaining the status quo. Quite simply, she was talking and I unconsciously stood straight-backed and planted my feet, with no expression on my face.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:51 AM
7

Ugh. Feeling this so much. Mine can’t get through an adult convo without making a joke. It’s a major avoidance tactic he still employs at his big age of 40.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 11:51 PM
8

There’s no way I’m having a child for anyone but me. The thought of pregnancy and labor for a LVM makes my stomach turn. I’ve watched my family have kid after kid with traditional males who spend at most an hour weekly interacting with them. The single mom thing is true even within marriage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 10:28 PM
2

My whole life I’ve been called cute and adorable. I don’t like it in any context.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 09:47 PM
26

He was a gentleman? Where? The one who asks pays for the date, if he wants to get technical. I know the economy tanked and people are short on money. But if he’s quibbling over $20, he doesn’t need to be dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 08:29 PM
32

Nearly every guy I met IRL on OLD(about four) lied about their height and I was the same height or taller than them. I’m barely five feet tall. One guy got pissed because I mentioned that I usually dated tall men and “dominated” them. FWIW, I had to learn to be tougher because men thought I was cute and submissive. Running background checks on men is certainly eye-opening. They get uncomfortable knowing that we can verify what’s truth or lies. Yeah, buddy don’t lie then. I had a guy turn it arou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 06:14 PM
47

Vile. This reminds me of the “hazing” that occurs in the military. They victimize in groups and laugh about it because ‘somebody did it’ to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 06:06 AM
10

Regret two months later but the HS gf was already knocked up? And she’s contemplating getting back with him? No. He ditched you, Sis. Now his life is falling apart, he’s looking for comfort from someone he dropped off like she was garbage. There shouldn’t even been a second thought there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 05:37 AM
10

I’ve started pretending I didn’t hear/that I was somewhere else not paying attention. They repeat whatever was said, and if it was some BS, they edit themselves. I wait for a few beats, they fill the silence with more nonsense, and I respond detachedly. It’s the silence that unnerves them. No more CS accommodation. All that cater2u crap they expect is undeserved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 05:24 AM
2

They probably hang out on the controversial topics to pounce on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 05:35 AM
36

FLO is sometimes the worst with these open questions. So many religious, straight edge, pearl-clutching women who think telling your man you have your period is uncouth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 03:23 AM
4

I realized I used to be more cutthroat in my youth. I stopped feeling like a villain for not trying to repair a broken friendship where I did all of the work. This person’s relative(their family was MY family close) tried to guilt me into visiting more often and asked why I hadn’t been around for seven years. I smiled and reminded them that Friend stopped interacting with me for all of that time. Why would I hang around when she flaked on every plan and never called or texted me first? We had ki…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 03:11 PM
4

Endorsement for safety jewelry: I received a smart bracelet that has a hidden alert button. You can set it up to contact a friend and the authorities. It’s absolutely gorgeous and has haptic feedback, too. Where I live is relatively safe but I only trust myself with my safety.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 02:42 PM
3

Same in my family’s (my former) sect of Christianity. It was justifiable for my mother to divorce because her husband cheated. The stigma and wretched scarlet letter still haunts her, and only after her ex-spouse dies she is able to remarry. Spoiler: Mom’s not looking to marry anyone ever again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 09:37 AM
4

I need at least two backup pillows to rotate so flatness doesn’t happen. Every other year or so I insist mine get a new pillow and give the old ones to the pets. Don’t even ask what the first one he had look like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 08:59 AM
13

I will ask them what’s my name if there’s too many beautifuls, babes, sweeties etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 08:40 AM
50

The laugh I just let out! 🤣🤣 Men don’t understand that labor brings us close to death. I’d need to have the father wearing a labor simulator if he dare say it wasn’t too bad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 08:28 AM
2

This was about 10-15 years ago. Former workplace had a higher ratio of men to women, so it was basically a meat market for scrotes. Unfunnily enough, I had an ‘inappropriate outburst’ with the filth talker when I yelled that he needed to fuck off somewhere. In the vicinity were our two managers, one male, one female. I was promptly transferred to doing less exciting work while he stayed at the better assignment. Male mngr had seniority and stuck to bro code. I left as soon as I started school ag…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 08:08 AM
1

Thank you. I bought a copy earlier this year. Reading it thoroughly and taking notes. He does allude to being more afraid of me than I am of him. But honey no, I don’t believe that one bit and I know he doesn’t either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 08:00 AM
3

No abuse, no threats, I just fear he may lose his shit if I tell him it’s over. It’s knowing he’s capable of doing harm that I keep up appearances. Rage stomps over interrupting his gaming streak and throwing a real-life tantrum in public, in front of me and his parents give me pause. Being unemployed because of health issues is my biggest hurdle. Went from independent twice-degreed go getter to no energy, doctor appts, seeing specialists, medication medication medication. I’m getting myself tog…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 08:36 AM
1

Thanks. I expect to feel that way when the time comes, even now a good moment makes me sad because I know I will miss it sometime later. My therapist asks if I changed my mind about moving on when we discuss STBEX doing a HV-type thing or communicating with me better. I’ve suffered relationship losses before, mourned and survived, so I plan to give myself the same compassion and space to go to that place. Go, but never dwell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 07:56 AM
16

TW: sexual harassment That was my biggest problem at some workplaces. I’d say hi, smile, maybe chat about the weather every once in awhile. One older guy got my personal email, told me he was into me like I was to him 😒 Coworkers told me some guy who ran the elevator asked about them my marital status. Another POS started to say filthy things in a weird voice whenever we worked near each other. The worst one was a married guy who tried to kiss me at the end of the workday. Cold indifference is m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 07:29 AM
18

It’s a video game device, not a full fridge of food...how does one use the ‘People are starving somewhere’ over something they didn’t buy? Even if they did, it’s no longer yours when give it as gift. HVM would probably redirect his lady and encourage her to revisit her hobbies when she says she’s bored. Or not care because he doesn’t feel entitled to her shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 06:53 AM
75

Broke and can’t even do one thing creative or special or just for you frugally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 06:11 AM
2

I dated this one guy who had a steady job, lived with his elderly mom and was recently divorced with a kid(yeah,I know I was horny then). After the first date, he expected me to plan, pay and basically work for his affection. He really thought he caught a lick since I worked in a STEM field and found a few swanky loft AirBnB places for us to have ‘quiet time’ together. It wasn’t meant to be a longterm situation, but I knew it was over when I mentioned that I built my emergency cellphone from a k…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 06:52 AM
15

Sometimes they get resentful or just critique every gesture you do for them. I used to try recipes from his culture or anything new. Every single time he’d say ‘it needs this’ or ‘if you cooked it this way’, so I stopped making anything. He cooked for me. The most I ever did after that was microwave or bake a ready-made dinner or give him my leftovers to finish.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 03:41 AM
11

Of course he’s a Cancer male. But really, does he think anyone is going to fit any of this screed of all the things he doesn’t want?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 03:01 AM
10

I’m convinced he’s never pleased a lady in his life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 05:23 AM
2

I wanna laugh because I baby my fur kids and it’s frustrating but they can’t help being dependent on me. And I promised to care for them for life. OTOH, I learned that my soon-to-be ex had a housekeeper his entire childhood. When he made a mess, it’d disappear quickly. He must think fairies empty the drain after he showers or sum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 07:29 PM
12

Exactly. No not ever done and there isn’t any amount of cajoling that’ll make me change my mind. I don’t disparage women who do but the very thought of it…I guess I’m too uppity to kneel down for a man and service him. SNS. I tell men that they’re not my husband so it’s off the table.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 06:51 PM
3

And those joint custody or sole custody men, we need to watch. Their moms, sisters, aunts, or new gf/wife ends up taking care of their child(ren). No CS and a built in babysitter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 06:24 PM
58

Unless it was major, I’ve eliminated ‘sorry’ and ‘I apologize’ from my dealings with men. Instead of ‘I’m sorry to hear that’ I say ‘Well, that’s unfortunate’.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 02:19 PM
2

When I told one guy that I built a cell phone as a hobby, he got quiet and standoffish. I guess he realized his “wisened older man” schtick wasn’t gonna cut it anymore. He really thought a handful of years made him smarter than me. At the end of our dealings, he sent me an email using above formal language, far from his actual personality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 05:20 PM
3

Oh, I believe I won’t marry, especially since I’m almost forty. It was a nice dream when I was much younger, but realistically, the amount of sacrifice and negotiating that accompanies living with a man is not my bag. Having a boyfriend or “gentleman friend” that lives elsewhere is my goal. We can even be neighbors.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 05:10 PM
39

The audacity of this grown man demanding his current wife pay for his past(and future) responsibilities. It would’ve been better she never told him about the inheritance, but sometimes it’s obvious and people come a-sniffing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 04:22 PM
8

I live like that now. This makes me want to cry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 05:25 AM
19

The last guy I was seeing casually tried to disappear or play hot and cold games. He’d done it before and said someone on a bike hit him so his phone was broken. Yeah right. So, this last time he wasn’t responding to messages for a week. I texted him “I don’t want to see you anymore.” No essays on why he’s shite. This guy was supposed to pay me back on something, unfortunately I remembered after I ended things. He thought he was slick too, folding up the money and handling it over while I was di…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 11:49 PM
11

College bf literally had the mattress on the floor room in his parents’ house and it was filthy. Met him to watch rented movies(remember those?) at his house, every Saturday afternoon. Then we got intimate. I started on the pill for him, not realizing it was making me depressed. Turned him down for sex twice and he broke up with me. He never defended me or told his pickme girl bff to not talk to me rudely. A few months later, he started IMing me and inviting me to hang out as friends. Nothing ch…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 07:24 AM
10

He’s dramatic af. A whole moment of ‘maybe we’re not meant to be’ because you said no to seeing him while busy? Perhaps he should focus on supporting you through this and finding ways to make more meaningful the times you do get to be together. The fitness jab shows insecurity and slightly predatory thinking because of the age gap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 07:09 AM
33

I wonder about the outdated term “lover”. Where do we put that? In the FWB bucket or the boyfriend one? Asking because I’ve seen life-matured women have that “ gentleman friend” who doesn’t live with them, stops by when she asks, takes her out on the town/on the Bonanza Bus to Mohegan Sun, gifts her things, brings flowers, and with whom she’ll sometimes have sex. He’s not her boyfriend per se, but is he a FWB?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 07:02 AM
35

My people. I never let anyone make me feel bad about not doing that. Beyond being objectionable to me, I always think about how when they want to insult, be rude or what have you, the go-to is SUCK MY D— Sure, not at all demeaning, lemme kneel right away, sir.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 06:46 AM
99

Oh, the ramen noodles! Soon-to-be-ex mused at how differently we prepared for the Corona shitdown. I loaded up on beans, hearty soups, fruits, veg, and all. He ran first thing to the local Asian market to grab all the pallets of ramen. Nothing else but ramen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 06:38 AM
6

I’m afraid y’all will ‘tough love’ me. Been doing a very pickme thing that I went in knowing wasn’t conducive to building up myself towards HV. I realized yesterday I don’t want to continue doing it. Nice girl in me doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 01:52 AM
22

I leave it alone. I don’t want to anger it! Actually, I trim with hair cutting shears when it gets long enough to bother me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 02:22 PM
3

I had a come-to-Jesus moment in my mid twenties about saying sorry. Maybe I read an essay or article about how often women say sorry for things that need no apology. So I stopped saying it. It was hard but thinking through why I shouldn’t apply it to every day occurrences helped. People who blanket transgressions with sorry haven’t proved they actually will change. I combat that with “don’t say sorry, just don’t do the thing that makes you have to say it” or “if were/are sorry, you wouldn’t have…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 09:47 PM
2

A true Ross Geller.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 08:13 AM
1

I’m in therapy, been on antidepressants for years and have emergency Xanax. That’s why it bugs me so much when I have a feeling and then cancel. I’ve not gone to a lot of things. I started a couple of fitness classes but they’ve ended, so I’ve been leaning on jaunts out with others. I’m waiting on another class to start. Why are they all 6-8 wk and not rolling classes?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 05:22 AM
6

Heeding my gut feelings is making me less sociable. I know it’s the right thing but I was making progress on lessening my agoraphobic ways. Cancelled a date with a guy because he seemed a tad too clingy and anxious. He messaged me 10x a day leading up to the date. It was getting too personal. Yesterday, I cancelled on someone else because everything was going wrong. Like my reservation didn’t get confirmed, I kept forgetting what I was doing in the middle of doing them, something broke, the inte…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 05:07 AM
30

I love ironing, it’s therapeutic. Ask me when’s the last time I ironed anything? Years. I let that man go out looking wrinkled in the same clothes he’s been wearing a few days. Don’t even wash his stuff. And he messed up cooking for me when we first started dating. I know he can feed himself, he’s great at it, so I don’t bother. They’ll survive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 01:53 AM
5

I found that the men on CMB are more serious about making connections when you do match up. Some of the same bs all OLD apps have are there. But I guess it’s less frequented by the sex cruisers, you can find better potentials to vet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 07:08 AM
9

That’s the worst too. I would mention something a few times, in different ways. When I got fed up and demanded it, assertively, I’d get that. “If you said, honey can you do this, it’s really important to me…” like, WTF? I did that and you ignored me. But I get stern with you and now I’m being mean and not nice. GTFOH.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 04:58 AM
12

Last relationship I said it three months in. I know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 02:56 AM
9

Power
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 08:51 PM
19

Introverted homebody here. Trying to get out, meet new people, and do things. Started talking to someone with similar interests and we’re going to try some new food in the city. I have no romantic feelings whatsoever and probably will invite other people along. I need as much socialization as I can get. A close friend recently dropped off the face of the earth and I’m going through the stages of grief. I cannot believe this happened again, but with another person. My BFF and I fell out for six y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 06:40 AM
29

He literally brought me fries and a cheeseburger unprompted and said, “See, I take care of you.” I wanted to cry from the basic-ness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 11:03 PM
8

That is my dream, to have adjacent homes/apartments for my own sanity. I need my own space with silence that is solely lived in and managed by me. If a man wanted to have a serious relationship with me, he could live nearby and stay over occasionally. I’m chalking it up to a really unpleasant cohabitation situation I’m in and having extended family living together(read: huge family). It feels selfish though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 10:58 PM
3

There was a Dick Yelp for celebrities or rappers or whatever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 09:39 PM
4

Quit yer crying over the boy who ghosted you. You’re in college to learn not get a boyfriend. Ask for a psychiatrist recc from the school therapists so you can start antidepressants. You ARE worthy. Go to the school networking center and learn to make connections. One day, you’re gonna feel shitty about being alone and look for a dude. It’s okay to be alone. That dude is not who you want to spend the rest of your twenties and thirties with. Work on your self-image because it’s important. And lik…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 09:14 PM
2

Emezi’s PET is great too. More fantastical about a girl who is transgender and selectively mute trying to solve a kinda mystery with a creature companion only she can see.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 09:02 PM
16

Right, I have health insurance and beneficiary status through my person and we’re not married or marrying. I also have my own insurance. Thinking of my mom after she left my dad, we went from a two-family home, not wanting for anything really, stability to crashing at mom’s BFF’s apartment before we got our own and cutting back on everything. My dad had a couple of pensions(yes, a couple) and owned the house outright. It was in a better neighborhood than where mom and I eventually moved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 08:58 PM
5

Just wow. I’d lose my shit if my person did that. Watched many lady relatives prepare plates for their ungrateful, LVM and promised myself I wouldn’t do that. In my home, it’s ready meals or takeout, since eff that. He knows how to cook and after he continued to criticize my food every.single.time. I stopped making things. My person has a fixation on iPhone/iPad games that he spends hours on. He knows how I feel about them because we’ve discussed it. Once he had a violent outburst over me interr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 08:44 PM
12

I thought never in my life will I take noods and share them. And then, at my big age of 35+ I got involved with a guy who would send me dick pics when I asked(don’t ask). He requested maybe once to see my boobs, clothed. Can’t even tell you why, but I got comfortable enough to send a couple more bare. I knew it was reckless, however, I covered my arse by editing out birthmarks, only supremely close up shots, and filtered the heck outta them. Of course, we stopped communicating. He can keep them,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 08:29 PM
3

My current guy is going away for work and I’m just grateful I’ll have a week of uninterrupted sleep. I’m slowly dying from lack of sleep(kinda sorta but not really). The fur babies and I are going to snuggle up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 12:22 AM
6

Nearly all of them. I didn’t know better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 12:02 AM
1

We totally need a NYC group meetup or discord thingy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 05:33 AM
14

That’s awesome for her. Love to see when men just figure it out. I’m in the process of this and truthfully, it hasn’t worked. If you’re with someone who is fine with the mess and dropping the ball, it’ll be squalor all the time and hungry pets. Wahh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 03:33 AM
4

Yes, I’ve noticed that men get uptight about it. Like it’s a personal affront to them. Stinks that you have medical reason for abstaining and still get crap from guys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 04:07 PM
2

Thanks. I’ve downloaded it yesterday. He’s mostly a stand up guy, who treats me well. I think he’s gotten into this pattern of me being sick or depressed ALWAYS and doesn’t know how to function when I’m not. I believe he’s afraid I’ll leave him if I ‘glow up’. Well, yes sir, I will.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 04:01 PM
1

Oh, he has one…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 05:05 AM
6

I LOVE SODA. I must cut back on my pop sugar habit, that’s why I explicitly didn’t mention it. You’re talking to a diehard Coca Cola fan.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 03:22 AM
2

I feel her on the suspecting that your person is sabotaging your health and wellness. Hers is chocolate, and I used to self-medicate with all sorts of junk food. But I stopped because I was getting a dopamine high and felt worse afterwards. For my guy’s part, it’s about me being calm and happy. Quite literally, if I’m okay, happy and unbothered, suddenly he does something to rile me up or cause a fuss. When I’m upset, he seems to be better in a way. I turn my frustrations inward, he does somethi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 02:53 AM
12

Why is he even checking up on what you’re doing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 05:33 AM
9

I’ve been trying to do this. The colors I end up with when I pick out my favorites/most worn are always gray and black. I feel a little dowdy when I think about it. How many colors are you supposed to have in a capsule?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 04:49 AM
7

Since starting a fitness class, I’ve really seen my confidence build and my tolerance for BS lower. It’s refreshing. My usual way is to get upset if I don’t ace something right off the rip, however, I’m doing okay in some areas and not so great in others. My mind isn’t going to negative self-talk if I mess up during class. I see it as nurturing and supporting myself by being my own mom and dad. Going from that, I’ve found myself ready to give a guy the boot due to unavailability. It’s difficult …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 04:46 AM
2

Okay, I’m seeing this is one theory for some people…but the on the whole, I have great intimate relationships with my close friends. We’ve grown together, weathered drifting apart, dealing with men, college, work, babies, meant issues, and the like. Maybe I’m not getting what you’re saying completely. The thing is, we(as girls and women) have been socialized to interact with males in the same way that benefits them and not us. What we share within our gender is taught to be used among us and not…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 06:05 AM
5

But aren’t they kind of shittier in terms of the sneakiness and way they think overall? The hot guy is upfront about his dirt and lack of caring. That same nerd/overweight guy puts that beautiful girl on a pedestal, believes she’s the key to his happiness and ignores his girl BFF who’s been earnest and by his side the entire time. He does everything to finagle that beautiful girl into liking or seeing him as a potential mate. I’m talking about the movie version of these types.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 05:53 AM
2

Baggage Reclaim with Natalie Lue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 05:48 AM
5

I read through that garbage and have never been most disgusted in my life. They see as babies to be lead and manipulated. Where my thoughts are going, I’m not even surprised because the vile fuckers never turn down a chance to be pedo/ebopho. And it sounds so reasonable like of course, that’s how you’re supposed to treat women, your vag toy, not even a person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 05:44 AM
6

My current situation is similar. It really hurts to admit but he just stopped trying. I would initiate and he would end up maybe touching me. No real sex. I asked, he chalked it up to our libidos being different. He’s a workaholic so he was also tired. From time to time I’ll ask if he’s having any issues or watching excess porn. Both no responses. I checked out of the relationship. Nearly two years without sex and I’m done. He doesn’t ever want intimacy outside of me validating him whenever he d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 06:16 PM
7

A real life He-Man Wimmen Haters club.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 03:34 AM
22

Something is very sus about this post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 04:27 AM
8

I’m feeling the same way, OP. My age is listed on my OLD profiles(late thirties) and still get these eboph/pedo types or ones that see me as someone “to teach the ways of the world”. I’m not naive or easily trusting and yet… Similar issues with strangers, employers, recruiters, or anyone who doesn’t know me not taking me seriously. There are times I play into it and then snatch the rug out from under them with some knowledge. Should I be wearing severe buns, heavy makeup, blazers with shoulder p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 09:52 PM
2

Oh…is that what that means? Clean = no condoms That certainly clears a lot up for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 05:17 AM
8

Wtf, why do they all suddenly want to do that? It’s either they want to cum in your mouth or on your tatas like it’s some amazing trick. Does it fall into the wanting to degrade us area? Or porn moves? Or both? That sicko really thought huffing and stomping away was gonna show his manly side. Was she supposed to submit to a grownup having a tantrum?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 03:10 AM
2

Managing Your Mind: The Mental Fitness Guide by Gillian Butler, Ph.D, and Tony Hope, M.D. I have another older copy from 2007 that was a second edition. There’s probably an updated version now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 11:18 PM
3

Sis, I’m a Nia. Hugs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 11:51 PM
3

Cake day!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 03:38 AM
16

I needed this. Thanks. The ‘nice gal’ in me couldn’t bring herself to block this asshole who’s been a source of anxiety lately. I did some exercises from a book on assertiveness and worry. Examine the underlying feeling. Does this matter? Do you have the energy to worry about this? What’s the worst that could happen? I don’t need this unnecessary drama. Relieved that I took a step back and thought it through. It was very scary to do, ngl, but I did it. Two fingers like a player. Peace. So what i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 03:35 AM
4

Amen 🙌🏾. Isn’t it odd how that happens? Your mom must be loving life a million times more than before. Thanks for sharing that with us. Once, I realized my SO was trying to sabotage my recovery. Every time I was good, no issues pressing, having a great outlook, he’d do something dramatic. It was like “look at me! I’m doing this thing to disrupt your flow.” Some people cannot be happy for others improving themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 10:28 PM
9

A guy I met learned that I am dating other men casually while dealing with the end of a non-relationship relationship. He acted personally as though he were the guy I had a complicated dating history with. I went from the best thing since sliced bread to that user who breaks men’s hearts, in his eyes. We’re no longer interested dating but he tried to convince me to “fix” the thing with the other guy. What is that even? Mind you, he talked about his current dating issues…like how he keeps going o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 10:16 PM
8

If he doesn’t text, I’m forgetting about him and moving on
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 04:45 PM
2

Possibly. Do they also dislike sex in general with women? This has me thinking about mine who whined that I wasn’t into it and stopped altogether. Well, I’m never putting your member anywhere near my face. That was a given before, now I’m not even trying. Maybe one day I’ll learn for a deserving HVM who becomes my husband. But not these scamps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 04:42 PM
55

They’ll make excuses for that dumb mess every time. But the paper towels and disinfectant spray are right next to the toilet. My person once had a tantrum because I asked him to wipe his own piss off of the rim. Yeah, I’m getting outta here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 03:26 PM
13

🙌🏾 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I felt this in my soul. Remember, every time you wanna send that extra or random text, write it down. Post-it note, journal, scrap paper, Notes App, back of a receipt—anything. It’s out of your system and they don’t need to see it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 12:34 AM
2

Thanks. I felt the best way not to escalate was to acquiesce for my own safety. Not gonna lie though, my left hand was in my pocket, ready to pull the pin on my pepper spray. Things are getting worse here in NYC and I’m glad taser/stun guns are legal now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 12:00 AM
3

I knew right away if he was trashing his exes and other women he was going in dates with, he’d be calling me out of my name to anyone who’d listen. Why are they like this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 11:51 PM
1

Have you dated him?? This is him to a T. I was ‘him when he was younger’ and he wanted to help me grow and break free from my depression and anxiety as he did. Thanks but I have a therapist and I’m working on myself daily. His response and behavior was erratic after I told him I was unsure about him. Anything I said close to not being ready to divulge my whole life story was met with THAT’S WHY I GIVE YOU PAUSE. He didn’t triple text. It’d be 5-6 in a row out of nowhere like he was in the middle…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 11:48 PM
2

I have no issue with him being demisexual. But we weren’t even talking about sex. I remember thinking, why do I need to know this all of a sudden.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 11:38 PM
4

It’s actually very clever way to get someone to start having romantic feelings for them. It’s terrible, too. I try not to diagnose but I see rapidly cycling BPD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 11:36 PM
2

My recent experience with someone pushing my boundaries was just like that. I’m going to make a separate post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 12:24 PM
27

Yes, like pick the best pebbles and twigs for a nest, show off your grandeur through generosity. Do a thing at least. Make an effort. I recently had a date and he paid without questions. The restaurant wasn’t a concrete pick but I let him know beforehand the options. He mentioned it was a bit expensive, as some places were on holiday pricing, I suggested an alternative and it was no sweat. There wasn’t grumbling or any resentment shown. Are we not adults? If it’s a problem then maybe not date? T…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 11:12 PM
38

It actually depends on the mood, recipient, deciding if it’s worth it, common sense etc. I lean towards adults being aware of societal norms. Side eye with a dash of “you know wtf you did” in spirit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 10:49 PM
4

They’re more socially advantageous. And it’s easier to be a jerk and never encounter the same woman again. Ugh dating between boroughs is basically a LDR sometimes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 07:45 PM
14

Already prone to depression, taking the Pill made me depressed all the time. I no longer wanted to even have sex. The cramps were terrible, despite having no periods; and breakthrough spotting randomly. I gained a bit of weight as well. I started having condom-only sex and never looked back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 06:14 PM
1

You seemed to have not read either…or the comments at least. There are personal stories of good and bad, but mostly bad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 02:23 PM
3

Avoid men who are (1) and (2) with successful careers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 11:38 AM
3

One guy would wait near a week sometimes to respond. I thought maybe I was losing my mind and perceiving time longer than real life. No, he was an asshole. His job…digital media marketer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 11:08 AM
22

Sometimes they don’t even say anything, they just do it. One minute you’re having a good time, the next you’re in the middle of something you hadn’t planned on doing because he “took a chance”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/19 03:55 AM
4

Sis, I completely understand. My sitch was that he’s LL and I’m HL. He’s emotionally stunted, as far as I can tell. Everything is filtered through the lens of jokes. I can’t even ask to talk about something serious without a dad joke or some gimme he just HAD to make. FWIW, I’m in therapy and actively trying to get myself together to leave soon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/19 09:50 PM
12

One guy told me I looked 13 and it all made sense why he liked me. Possible pdfile. I’m almost 40, just petite. He swore he wasn’t into young girls tho. SMH.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/19 04:16 AM
21

I get told that I’m mean by guys very often, especially when I don’t laugh at their jokes or tell them the truth when they expect smoke blown up their ass. I’d like to see some examples of this in action, as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/19 02:16 AM
13

I’ve been having the same problem recently too. He will get home, go to his office to play video/iPhone games and at a quarter to midnight ask if I want to watch a DVR’d show with him. By that time, I’m getting my bedtime routine done. Repeated rejection has him asking a wee bit earlier, but inconvenient nonetheless. My former thing was to stay up until he got home. He has two jobs that gives us 2-3 evenings and a full day a week to send together. It aggravated my insomnia and I stopped. I’ve be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/19 04:52 PM
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