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Top-Break6703 Archive

View 8 posts and 120 comments by Top-Break6703 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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4

Also understand I am trying to meditate on how to deescalate the issue. If you're doing that now I think that's great! And in order to do that, you need to recognized that your husband attempted to deescalate multiple times, and you responded to his deescalation attempts by escalating. Him ignoring you and trying to leave, staying away from the house, and when he came home the first thing you did was start another fight. I get that. There's plenty of days I've done the same thing. Then when he s…
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/26 07:20 AM
2

Relationships are difficult and nuanced and I don't trust anyone's perspective on their relationships. So I'm not getting into the details of judging your relationship or this guy. So I often avoid RP/trad wife spaces now because I noticed that a lot of people are more into the idea of a traditional relationship and what they think it will get them rather than how they can improve the other person's life. When some people say "I want to be submissive" they sometimes mean "I want my husband to be…
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/26 06:08 AM
2

Have you heard Alison Armstrong talk about frog farming?
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/24 11:09 PM
19

Dating apps are another form of social media, which we already know is addictive and causes a whole host of mental health issues. I say on Reddit.
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/24 08:50 PM
7

Happiness comes from the inside. Nothing outside of you can make you happy. You can have the right relationship, job, car, house, kids, hobbies, friends, all of it, and it won't make you happy. Many "successful" people are extremely miserable. It's true that women are biologically wired to crave a family, but if you aren't happy single, the best relationship in the world isn't going to make you happy with yourself. You may not intend to use anyone, but getting in a relationship with someone, not…
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/24 02:43 AM
3

"Truly believing that there are aliens inhabiting human bodies all around us is frightening." But hey, you still have personality and a perspective on life, and could find someone else who believes the same thing and has similar values and interest. OP, the problem is that you're coming off as a blank blob with no personality or life. You're better off letting your weirdness show. You might attract less guys but maybe then you'd find someone actually interesting who finds you interesting.
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/24 01:47 AM
7

"I don’t even ask them about their life because in all honesty, I don’t even care. I just want to be in a relationship with a guy that i’m attracted to." So you don't actually want a real relationship with a real human being then. A committed long term relationship is about building a life together. What is it that you do want? Validation? Attention? Checking the relationship box because you think that's the next thing you're supposed to do to have a Happy Life?
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/24 01:43 AM
7

Aww :)
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/24 04:19 PM
3

"I really don't know, because despite this concept being so widely accepted, I don't fantasize about other men or about being in a different relationship. I actually really don't even look at other men like that." You're not the first person I've heard say that, of either gender, which has made me wonder if the wandering eye is really an inherent product of evolution or something about the individual that, with our society being so unhealthy, has become prolific.
/r/RedPillWives27/10/24 02:47 PM
2

Would you mind saying more about how it can be used for our benefit vs being destructive?
/r/RedPillWives27/10/24 02:44 PM
16

I remember when you asked about the belly dancing before. It sounds like you're exaggerating about the "banning" here. He didn't say you couldn't belly dance. He said you couldn't do it for other men, which is a pretty reasonable boundary. I don't know if he's being jealous, protective, or a little of both, but a man who would be ok with this sounds to me like more of a red flag. "My fiance has his own flat and we live together. The area that we're living in isn't the best. I have since started …
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/24 03:56 PM
2

It sounds like you're upset because he acted like a man, and you were expecting him to take a more feminine approach. Driving out in a hurricane to provide for your family? That's right up a man's alley. Reiterating to him how bad the weather is possibly had the opposite affect you wanted. It made it more of a challenge. I get it! I'd be scared as hell if that was my man on the road! Next time, just say something when he's leaving about how you're going to miss him and worry about him til he com…
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/24 07:42 PM
5

I'd say don't do that. Let him explore it on his own. Try to avoid mothering him over this. The best thing you can do for him is treat him with respect and give him the time and space to develop his masculinity. As a woman, you are unqualified to help him with this. What have you read about what respect means to a man and how you can show him that respect? Honestly, that will do more to help him that trying to get him a gym membership or friends. He needs to do that on his own, unless he's invit…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 07:41 PM
3

There already is middle ground. He's comfortable with her engaging with the hobby, just not around and for men.
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/24 03:22 PM
1

We don't even know if he's difficult. All we know about him is what OP says. OP may or may not be a reliable narrator. Her husband may be acting this way because he feels underappreciated. OP admits he dealt with so not great behaviors from her in early marriage he may still be healing from/dealing with the consequences of. Relationships are complicated and dynamic and the problems rarely boil down to something as simple as "He/she's a narcissist/asshole." Also, 99% of the content about narcissi…
/r/RedPillWives24/08/24 11:58 PM
2

Your anxiety isn't "crippling" in the sense that it would qualify you for disability payments, but it sounds like it is impacting your ability to do the work you've been trained to do. Just emphasizing so you understand the seriousness of the problem. Don't skate around it or frame the job as the problem.
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/24 07:43 PM
–

What do you mean by wanting him to convert? Do you mean that you need him to believe in your faith? If so, he doesn't and it's best to accept that and move on. Do you want him to just go through the ceremony of conversion when he doesn't actually believe? If so, why ask him to basically pretend to have values and beliefs that he doesn't just to stay in a relationship? What do you hope to get from that? What does that say about his integrity and the relationship overall? Also, how does your faith…
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/24 03:53 PM
3

Alison Armstrong has some good stuff about understanding men. I haven't been able to take any courses yet, but she also has books and free videos on YouTube.
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/24 02:41 AM
1

Consider how difficult it is for professionals to diagnose NPD, and it's not something one could even diagnose without multiple sessions, I don't think it's very helpful to tell OP she's living with a narcissist based on one brief post when we haven't even heard her husband's side. Even if everything in this post were 100% true, he still wouldn't come near an NPD diagnosis.
/r/RedPillWives23/08/24 02:35 AM
4

I mean, there a sexual predators in every circle, but saying that a typical RedPill mainly values dating women who look like children is a cognitive distortion. Youthful doesn't necessarily equal 12 years old. Especially when it comes to selecting long term partners, HVM (whether they'd consider themselves rp or not) tend to value traits that require a bit of emotional maturity. One problem with the way people tend to talk about SMV is it assumes that there's one type of attractiveness and attra…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/24 07:59 PM
3

"she's essentially an ideal Redpill female — mostly for her slightly child/like appearance." Umm....I think you're mixing up RedPill men and pedophiles somehow.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/24 07:18 PM
7

have you thought about giving him oral while he's playing. Then he doesn't have to stop playing, but also you might be able to convince him to.
/r/RedPillWives17/08/24 07:26 PM
2

Women downplay their husband's contributions a lot in our society. We're socialized to not see it, living in a narcissist society, and then we have a psychological benefit to keep telling ourselves, "Men don't do anything to help with the house" story. It's so normalized that you don't really see it until something opens your eyes to it, and even then it's easy to disregard evidence and fall back into the trance. A lot of wives have built their ego around the suffering martyr woman who must do i…
/r/RedPillWives17/08/24 03:45 PM
1

"Although I really question why you believe that someone having money or support means they don’t need anymore support during a traumatic situation, though I guess it depends on what kind of situation we are talking about" Classmate told Friend 2 that they didn't want financial support. "you weren’t reading the room well. You really need to know someone well to know if what you said will land with them." I see that. "At the end of the day, it wasn’t going to be burdensome if your friend bought a…
/r/RedPillWives15/08/24 04:20 PM
1

Friend 2 was the one who was telling her that classmate didn't want gift cards. Classmate had told Friend 2 that because she wanted Friend 2 to pass that information along to Friend 1 and others who had already given a substantial gift card. I see that I could have phrased what I said more gently. I also see how I may have presumed we were closer friends than we were and they would accept that I wasn't criticizing them as a person. I didn't think they were terrible for not offering emotional sup…
/r/RedPillWives15/08/24 03:50 PM
1

I get that. I've been in plenty of hard spots where I needed the help of others. I think it's commendable that you extended help to people you don't like. What sounds different in this case is, what I picked up from what Friend 2 was saying, was that classmate already had plenty of help with finances and groceries and was kinda financially privileged. Unless Friend 2 was misconveying something, classmate didn't want more help with groceries, and was specifically asking that she not get more help…
/r/RedPillWives15/08/24 06:46 AM
2

Can I ask what you're identifying as a high achiever? I feel like I was meeting baseline standards, but I've also realized recently I tend to downplay my own achievements, so maybe that was me doing that.
/r/RedPillWives15/08/24 03:08 AM
1

I could definitely practice that more.
/r/RedPillWives15/08/24 03:06 AM
1

Aside from that, unless you also disliked the person dealing with "traumatic situation," why were you trying to convince the "don't care for her but feel bad for her" person to not give her a restaurant gift card or something? I've never met someone would would turn down a spare $15. Giving the "wrong kind of support" only matters if it's a) a burden (having extra money the next time you go to a favorite spot isn't a burden) or b) being done instead of the requested support (which this person cl…
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/24 01:45 AM
2

I've never been called a high achiever before. I'm curious, what gave you that impression?
/r/RedPillWives14/08/24 10:19 PM
1

Do you have any tips for tactfully wording feedback?
/r/RedPillWives14/08/24 10:18 PM
1

It's not that friend 1 wanted to give classmate a gift, it was that friend 1 already had, classmate accepted it, friend 1 wanted to do it again even though friend 2 was letting them know that classmate had already said she didn't want more gifts. It wasn't about helping the classmate at that point. My "friends" were saying I needed boundaries with my internship despite the fact that there were already boundaries in place. I do agree that I need to work on giving unsolicited advice. When they sai…
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/24 10:17 PM
-1

I agree lol. In hindsight, that should have been a red flag to me that if she's being that fake with other people and herself, she's probably not being very authentic with her "friends" either. Lesson learned.
/r/RedPillWives14/08/24 04:32 PM
1

Yeah. I see what you mean. I guess assuming people want to hear the truth is probably not the correct assumption most of the time.
/r/RedPillWives14/08/24 04:05 PM
2

As far as "I love you", I think in this case asking is better. For myself, I sometimes initiate, especially if I think he might be in the mood. I'll do this with some dirty talk, wearing an outfit that I know is his favorite, or sometimes go all the way obvious by wearing lingerie or putting a hand on his junk. The nice thing about the last one is I can tell right away how he feels about it. But if he's not in the mood, I don't take it personally. He usually still appreciates the gesture anyway.…
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/24 04:16 AM
9

Chill out. When you're chill, ask him about his timeline and where he sees things going. Practice active listening skills. Wait 20-30 seconds before responding. Listen with curiosity and the desire to see his point of view so you can get in his frame. Accept the answer he gives. Don't try to pressure him or change his view. If he asks what you think or prefer, give him your honest opinion. If he doesn't, leave it be. Make a decision about the job that you could live with whether or not you stay …
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/24 10:30 PM
1

What is it that you want from him?
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/24 10:19 PM
2

Have you discussed this with him? How does he feel about it?
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/24 10:15 PM
5

I'm getting the vibe that both of you might be projecting a lot of fantasy onto this. He opened with "I still want to marry you" after not knowing you for seven years? It feeling like "no time has past"? Time has past. You've both gone through some major developmental changes in that time period. You've only started to get to know each other again for a week, and you're already moving quickly and wanting to define the relationship. Having a shared history gives you the illusion that you know eac…
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/24 04:39 PM
3

Sometimes my hamster likes to go on cocaine binges. Poor lil hamster. This is actually kind of serendipitous, because my lil hamster is eying the wheel right now. Thinking of it as a lil cute yet kinda manic cokehead furry mammal makes it easier to be kind to myself. Instead of beating myself up, I can just say, "Nah, lil hamster, I flushed the cocaine, now come over here and take a nap." It's kind of silly but it's working so whatever.
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/24 05:30 AM
–

I'm going to use you generally here because you are going back and forth on if your advocating it as a strategy, and I don't want to keep using "one" since it's just not how I talk. Going on a date with someone, not because you're interested in getting to know them as a person, but to make yourself feel better, is using a person. Using a person is not ethical. Saying "ethics are personal" doesn't make it ethical; it means that you've created a justification for unethical behavior. There are stan…
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/24 02:34 PM
2

Ah, I misread. I do think my general point still stands, if you're involved in the kid's life in any way, it's going to hurt them to leave. I can relate to wanting your own biological child. I strongly want another child despite the many reasons why it's not a great idea right now. You do have the opportunity to be a mother in front of you. If you like this man, he treats you well, and he makes a good live partner, then you're throwing away some good assurances for a lot of maybes. Maybe you can…
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/24 09:56 PM
1

Alison Armstrong discusses this extensively. It's the opposite, the tendency of most women to take a man and bring out the worst in him over time. This habit is so engrained in our culture that we don't realize we do it, and it's validated and men are blamed. This is the basis of her work, but here's one shorter video on it: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=v6AWnivYGaM
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/24 08:48 PM
4

Dating a guy with the intention of turning him down sounds like a not very ethical way of dating. Dating should be approached as relating to another human being, with thoughts and feelings, not like you're shopping fir your next husband at MenRUs.
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/24 08:38 PM
1

I think one problem a lot of people run into with vetting is first you have to stop frog farming. It does t matter how good you get, if you emasculate your man things are going to go south. Then people come here and try to learn how to "vet better", making their restrictions on who they're looking for tighter and their expectations higher and higher.
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/24 08:35 PM
1

Divorce is traumatizing for children. You can't have it all. Do you really want to get a divorce and ruin your beautiful lifestyle because you think you can somehow build a perfect life?
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/24 04:14 AM
2

I don't think number 3 is a good idea. You're trying to raise a family together. If it's normally your responsibility to take the kids to karate and pick them up, changing plans should be discussed. Ditching your responsibilities and then communicating that through the kids isn't "cute" or "mysterious". You can say, "Hey, babe, I want to (the thing you want to do) on Saturday. Could you take the kids to karate?" If you want to be mysterious, surprise him with some sexy lingerie.
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/24 02:36 AM
4

This reminds me of a coworker I had. They made slightly more than me, and only had one dependent. I had two. My income was comfortable and I actually felt really lucky. They were always complaining about living from paycheck to paycheck. I couldn't believe it until we sat down and compared our expenses. First, they were paying unnecessary bills, a storage unit they had no intention of clearing out or doing anything with except for "one day". which is fine if you're not running out of groceries e…
/r/RedPillWives02/08/24 08:06 PM
3

A lot of people don't realize they're not saving that much time by eating out either. If you're already out running errands, and you're going to be out for meal time and past it, it is probably more efficient to eat out than go home, make something, and come back. But there are meals that can be made in 15-30 minutes with practice. Even getting fast food involves driving, waiting to order, ordering, waiting for food, sitting down, eating, driving home. It's 30 minutes if it's quick, not if you'r…
/r/RedPillWives02/08/24 07:55 PM
1

I don't know anyone here personally to say, but in my real life experience bashing husbands is a bit of a hobby in our culture. Get a group of wives together and at some point, they end up complaining about their husbands "not doing anything". I used to do this too. This was an over exaggeration or straight up lie in every case, including mine. From my observations, this tends to happen for a few reasons. One, men's actual contributions are denigrated or ignored. Speaking for myself personally, …
/r/RedPillWives02/08/24 02:42 PM
3

This sounds like a really painful place to be in, with him still in contact with the other woman and then comparing you too. Do you think maybe his heart message is that he wants to see you happy? There's a pretty big spectrum between calm and happy and rambunctious life of the party. Imo, trying to keep up with the other woman isn't best for you. (Many "life of the party" types are really unhappy underneath too, especially if there's excessive drinking involved.) I don't want to presume what yo…
/r/RedPillWives30/07/24 09:37 PM
13

I'm in my early 30's, and was active on social media at your age. My advice is no, don't. It did nothing good for me. Social media is not the real world. It's providing you with information overload while simultaneously cutting you off from reality. So you think you're getting smarter/more educated but without experiencing real life, your perspective will lack nuance. I would have told you then that I was learning so much and connecting with like minded folks, but really I was developing a scree…
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/24 04:04 AM
1

Thanks. I agree!
/r/RedPillWives16/07/24 09:34 PM
1

Well don't lie for one. Do you have hobbies? Hobbies are essential for your wellbeing, and there are plenty you can pick up with little to no start-up costs. This advice might sound counterintuitive and goes against the grain, but it's ok to not have friends when you're in this place. I say this as someone who learned the hard way. Speaking from my own experience, it you're not an emotionally healthy and mature person already, trying to make friends is likely to backfire. You're going to attract…
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/24 07:15 PM
1

I don't have anything to add but thank you for posting this.
/r/RedPillWives15/07/24 03:56 AM
7

Oh hi, me. At least for 3. For me it took more than 7 years to accept that I was the problem and not be like, "Ok, I need to work on these things but also he needs to..." So good on you for being responsible and accountable. You are already stepping up and becoming a mature woman. I'm still in the beginning stages of getting serious about my transformation journey. There's the story behind why I finally got serious, but what it basically boiled down to is I couldn't live with the person I had be…
/r/RedPillWives13/07/24 08:13 PM
9

It sounds like you have a negativity bias and some unrealistic expectations. It is a little entitled to expect people to just notice you if you are standing there not saying anything or trying to get someone's attention, or to read your mind and know you want service and not just thinking. What sort of interaction were you expecting from the couple at the movie theater? People don't really go to movie theaters to socialize with strangers. On your negativity bias, you have decided people are mean…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/24 08:07 PM
2

Maybe, maybe not. There's the saying "Sober thoughts, drunk words" but it's not really true. With alcohol, you see someone uninhibited, but that's not the whole person. It could be that's how your husband feels. It could be that it's a thought that pops up when he's angry with you, but not necessarily something he really believes or seriously considers. It could be that he has mixed feelings about the relationship. Of all the things we can tell you on here, the only person who can shed light on …
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/24 03:45 PM
7

I've never met a guy who didn't like being reminded you find him sexually appealing.
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/24 09:17 PM
1

What do you mean by using heat packs instead of the heater?
/r/RedPillWives26/06/24 08:28 PM
1

Yeah, that sounds like a difficult situation. On one hand, I want to say detach from him and what he's doing as much as you can, since you can't control that. I do think that's best. On the other hand, as a parent I'd feel real anxious not knowing how baby's doing. Right now though things sound tense so space might be best for both of you.
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/24 01:54 AM
2

Is that something you've asked for?
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/24 01:36 AM
1

Ok, that makes a lot of sense. I do understand why you're concerned and for your position your question is completely valid. What has he done to earn trust back and protect the relationship from future infidelity on his part?
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/24 01:32 AM
1

It's something that I struggle with too. My words of advice are learning not to take it personally. Give him some grace and think about where he might be coming from and what his message underneath the disrespect is. I don't know much about the context of your relationship, so I'm making assumptions here. I'm not going to say you were "right" or "wrong". Personally, I think it's very reasonable if you're in a long term committed relationship with children and living together and whatnot to want …
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/24 01:22 AM
2

What are you asking us?
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/24 01:03 AM
3

Seeing younger as more attractive is a product of evolution, not men being evil. The 21 year old from a biological perspective is a better mate in the sense that she can produce more offspring that the 31 year old before the biological clock runs out. BUT there's also plenty of other factors that go into a man's selection of a partner as well. Faulting older men for finding 20 year olds attractive is about as fair as faulting men for finding women attractive.
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/24 08:08 PM
3

Not sure where you hang out, but I know many beautiful women in their 30s, 40, 50s, even older. I think my neighbor is nice looking for someone who just turned 70. I honestly didn't know she was that old. and she's a hippie, she's not getting Botox or anything. There are attractive older women. They may not be attractive to younger men, but men in their age group find them attractive. Attractiveness also depends not just on looks but attitude. You can have supermodel looks and be beautiful, but …
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/24 08:02 PM
47

How would you feel if a man said, "I want to break up. if you truly love me though, you'll continue to sleep with me on a regular basis, at least until I find someone else to give that to me"? I'd be offended and devastated. I'd question if this man ever loved and cared for me, if he even saw me as a human being. I'd feel absolutely used and cheap and worthless. I'd only consent to an arrangement like that if I was at my unhealthiest. I would have to have no respect for myself.
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/24 03:39 PM
1

Thanks for taking the time to answer all my questions. The dresses!
/r/RedPillWives15/06/24 06:58 PM
1

I can see the benefit in that! What I meant by the marketing question is, can you legally say "I completed this LD program" if you're not certified? Like if I wanted to train in a therapy modality, I couldn't legally say "I'm a This Modality therapist" until I reached a certain level. So like, if you're paying that much then going out to start your own relationship coaching business, what can you say your knowledge base is? Out of curiosity, if you're an LD coach taking her clients, do you know …
/r/RedPillWives15/06/24 09:24 AM
1

Thank you for answering my questions. True that it's worth it if it saves a marriage, but I don't really have an extra 10k lying around. If there was a scholarship or something it would be more accessible for me. LD is also under no obligation to make her work accessible to me either. The zoom calls make a little more sense being technically unlimited. Unfortunately, our budget at the moment is pretty thin to afford it on an ongoing basis. $10k is before being certified? What can you say you get…
/r/RedPillWives15/06/24 09:10 AM
1

Wait...her coaching program is $10k?!?!! WOW! That's a semester of the grad school program here in one of most expensive COL states in the U.S.! I could have went to school online out of state for much cheaper that that too even paying out of state tuition if I had enrolled in school in the South! And I can get scholarships for that! And paid a good bit after graduation (if I had graduated in May like I was supposed to I'd be making at least $60k now and $90k at least after licensure, so like $9…
/r/RedPillWives15/06/24 08:19 AM
1

Tbh, I listen to LD's podcasts and read the books a while back. I'm listening to Alison Armstrong's books now and it's really been life changing. And H wants to do as marriage retreat as well if that's possible, and I agree with his logic. He's the one who suggested it to me and asked me to look into it; I'm not trying to push him into it. I would honestly love to do the LD coaching. I looked into it a while back, but I didn't see on the website anything that was upfront about the pricing except…
/r/RedPillWives15/06/24 07:02 AM
3

We're doing that too.
/r/RedPillWives14/06/24 10:59 PM
-1

Oh, I see. You're not looking to be helpful. Well, whatever's going on that has you lashing out at me for no reason I hope you work that out. Good day, ma'am.
/r/RedPillWives14/06/24 08:49 PM
-2

More support/insight/tools as we work on healing our marriage. We are reading a book together, and have read some others. I think I see the retreat as the quality focused time but with a third party to give guidance, structure, and wisdom to that time. I see how it's not the only option but I'm down to try just about anything and everything. We've had really bad luck with therapists. As a trained crisis counselor/therapist on hiatus from training, therapy has become a female dominated field, whi…
/r/RedPillWives14/06/24 08:40 PM
-7

That's not very helpful.
/r/RedPillWives14/06/24 06:13 PM
1

I meant traditionally feminine hobbies, not subs! For me that's sewing, knitting, etc.
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/24 01:37 AM
1

I follow some hobby related subs for traditionally feminine subs. And a nerdy hobby related sub. not sure if that's what you're looking for.
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/24 04:27 PM
11

On one hand, I don't think it's that strange that he's not taking you to a birthday party when it's still a pretty new relationship. On the other hand, the birthday party and friendship as a whole sounds suspicious. Not that he's crossing any lines now (though he could be), as much as it's going to create issues down the road. How does he feel about having opposite sex friends when you're engaged/married? How do you feel about it? Is he willing to back off on the friendship as you become more se…
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/24 04:01 PM
2

Alison Armstrong's work is changing my life. I recommend starting with Keys to the Kingdom. She also has videos on YouTube. What I realized though is that change couldn't happen before I was willing to accept that any fundamental change in my outside world required fundamental changes in myself, and to let go of righteous indignation, especially when he was behaving badly and "deserved" it. I started on the path years ago with Laura Doyle. I don't not recommend her, but while she does market her…
/r/RedPillWives11/06/24 11:35 PM
1

What do you mean by equals?
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/24 10:30 PM
0

He's not acting this way for "no reason". What do you understand of his perspective?
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/24 04:29 PM
2

I had to say something..., No, you didn't have to. No one made you. There were many options available to you. You chose to criticize how he was handling the situation. And it didn't deescalate a thing huh? Your attempts to control him are not getting the outcome you want. "If you don't leave me alone then I'll leave this house and you REALLY don't want that." Let me translate. He's not saying that out of a desire to be a controlling butthead. He's saying "Leave me alone." You should leave him al…
/r/RedPillWives10/06/24 09:58 AM
1

It is a hypothetical situation. Neither one of you can know what you'd do if you were actually in that situation. Don't hold it against him.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/24 07:16 AM
3

Without saying your husband's behavior is acceptable, I'm going to play devil's advocate for a bit here. My disclaimer: I have made all the mistakes and then some. I tend to be direct, but what I say is coming from a place of tough love. If I can save others from unnecessary turmoil. Your husband isn't punishing you; he's protecting himself from you. He was already angry and triggered when he was on the phone. He was in fight mode to protect you and him from someone who you both feel is cheating…
/r/RedPillWives10/06/24 06:37 AM
4

What specifically are you seeking advice around?
/r/RedPillWives09/06/24 05:36 PM
3

OYS Number: 3? I lost count. OYS Comment Preference: 3 Demographics: early 30's, one 8 year old, in recovery from my affair Gratitude list: 1. tea 2. soft blankets 3. got a good night's sleep last night 4. kid's hugs and love for me in general 5. my health and well-being Things I Did for My Present: 1. still working on making the skincare routine routine 2. put on some makeup today 3. organized the container cabinet Things I Did for My Future: 1. started organizing my clothes 2. recommitted this…
/r/RedPillWives02/06/24 10:43 PM
4

Since it's 100% your fun money, go for it. Women tend to think of showing gratitude in terms of reciprocating, so it makes sense you're worried about that. Men tend to show gratitude in terms of taking and using, so I think you should be ok. You know your husband best though. If he does say something about reciprocating, you can say something about how it was from your heart and the only return you need is seeing him enjoy and use the gift.
/r/RedPillWives22/05/24 03:22 PM
1

Do you mix the almond oil with anything? What make up do you use?
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/24 02:22 PM
1

Good luck. I hope for the best for you.
/r/RedPillWives18/05/24 11:53 PM
2

The advice I have for that is what I'm learning from the work of Alison Armstrong, Laura Doyle, and For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhanh and my experience trying it out. Basically, interrupting a man is different than interrupting a woman. When a man takes a pause, he might be done talking, or he may be taking a moment to think and process before he continues. Alison Armstrong advises waiting ten seconds before speaking after a man pauses. For my husband, I've noticed that 15 or 20 seconds is bett…
/r/RedPillWives18/05/24 08:32 PM
1

Yeah, that's my struggle too, living in a more "liberal" area and also working in mental health, though I'm on a break from that for now. You do have to be pretty careful how you talk about gender roles in mental health these days, unfortunately. Learning about femininity and diffused awareness changed my perspective on the amount of girls now being diagnosed with ADHD.
/r/RedPillWives18/05/24 06:41 AM
2

Do you mean how to generally have your husband open up more, or are there certain topics you're not sure how to bring up?
/r/RedPillWives18/05/24 06:37 AM
1

I think it's good that you're hearing what he's saying and adjusting your behavior rather than getting defensive It shows that you want to treat your husband with care and respect. I came from a family of "teasers". When I met my now husband and tried joking with him in this way, he was puzzled and hurt. His response was basically, "Why would you talk to me like that if you like and respect me?" I've had to take a hard look at the teasing that I did and grew up with. It was a subconscious way to…
/r/RedPillWives14/05/24 06:59 PM
2

Yeah it's nice to have people with similar values to talk to. u/youllknowwhenitstime had good advice.
/r/RedPillWives13/05/24 06:04 AM
2

Oh man, I feel bad for your friend. Everyone I know who's chased money over relationships of whatever type have ended up bitter and miserable. It's a sad road. I've also found it difficult to find people irl who share my values. We're out there obviously so you'd think it would be a little easier.
/r/RedPillWives13/05/24 06:00 AM
1

That's cool. Do you talk to her about to stuff?
/r/RedPillWives13/05/24 05:54 AM
2

I actually thought of two female characters that I admire since this conversation and wanted to share as well. Both are from Star Trek tng lol. Deanna Troi - the ship's counselor. She's next to Picard on the bridge for a reason. She showcases the sensitivity of femininity as a strength. It's not an accident that men and women are different; it's an advantage that's evolved over millenia for a reason. Picard is highly intelligent, but he has trouble putting himself in other people's shoes. Troi h…
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/24 03:43 AM
1

I haven't heard of it but I'll look into it.
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/24 03:29 AM
-1

How did I insult anyone?
/r/RedPillWomen11/05/24 11:52 PM
1

You mentioned not having supportive words, so along with others, I'll address that. I haven't been great at supporting my husband's mental health, so I'm mentioning this from a place of me learning to practice this too. Don't worry about saying something that will make him feel better or convince him to not be depressed. Not saying you're doing this, but it was my mistake. It can be scary when your loved one goes to those dark places, especially if there's suicidal talk. Sometimes in our own anx…
/r/RedPillWives11/05/24 04:21 PM
1

I can see both of your points. H and I were talking today about how red pill (at least for us) is about something deeper than being a sahm. Now we're both home, but I've been the one who works and he's been the one mostly to stay home. I still end up taking on the housework because I feel like it's my responsibility and I want to do that for him/our family. He still does a lot - cooking, meal planning, grocery shopping, all the finances (like him doing the finances is enough off my plate to be h…
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/24 02:26 AM
2

I read this while listening to Taylor Swift lol. I like to think I'm intelligent.
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/24 02:16 AM
2

Thank you for all of these suggestions! I agree about modern TV. One thing about the less conservative clothing on TV - I grew up in the rural Deep South and moved to California as an adult. California seems to generally have a very different standard of modest clothing. I was surprised at what people would sometimes pick for everyday and even office wear here. Not judging, just observing different cultural standards.
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/24 02:16 AM
1

Don't overthink it. You have an active bedroom by being active in the bedroom. If your bedroom isn't as active as you'd like, commit for a while to having some form of sexual contact at minimum every night, and then it just become routine, and not in a bad way. Don't bother with waiting for "the mood" to randomly take you, create the mood by going for it. Taking the pressure off of sex too helps. It doesn't have to be a performance. Make it about connecting, not about the fireworks. Then it does…
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/24 04:52 AM
2

Honestly when I'm doing better on my side of the street things are a lot better with us and this isn't really a problem so you're right. This is the reminder I was looking for in posting here. I guess the way to take responsibility for myself in this is to instead look at why I take some of the stuff he says personally. If I discuss it with him, it shouldn't be to correct his behavior but to inform him as my Captain of my emotional state. He (most of the time) doesn't say things just to hurt me,…
/r/RedPillWives05/05/24 12:15 AM
2

If you're not in a relationship not much to OYS about now lol. If you are, it might be interesting to think about what drew you here. I'm not sayin this to encourage you to stay or post. It might not be your space. But it could be an interesting line of inquiry for self-exploration.
/r/RedPillWives03/05/24 03:48 AM
1

Got it. Thank you.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/24 02:15 AM
1

Can I ask for more details about what's going on and what you're looking for?
/r/RedPillWives03/05/24 02:14 AM
2

OYS Number: 2 OYS Comment Preference: 3 Demographics: early 30's, together 10 years, 1 child, married - in recover from my affair Gratitude list: -hot water -the jasmine plant in the backyard -socks -lotion -my husband Things I Did for My Present: -vacuumed (been behind on it) and cleaned all the rugs in the house -more walks -gardening - was feeling sad and angry and I ripped up all the lillies along the house/fence so the rats don't nest there. It felt great. -set up the mail organizer finally…
/r/RedPillWives03/05/24 02:05 AM
2

So funny enough after replying to your comment I found this video for diy moisturizer, and remembered that I've had lavender water and glycerin for ages. My husband bought it for the smell, so I'm trying that one out. I'll check out the cleanser recommendations. So is there an order you're supposed to do it in? My guess is cleanse then moisturize.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/24 01:57 AM
1

Thanks for the sympathy. I like the look, and my husband really likes it. It's more his style. He bought me a bit of things but I'm not sure how to put some of it together. Part of the problem might be needing more accessories.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/24 04:39 PM
6

Thank you for this! It was helpful. I usually do rinse out my conditioner after I wash my body. I don't wash my sheets on schedule as much as I should have. I'll try both of those and see if that helps. I thought the manicures might have been a my mom problem and not a manicure problem. Do you have any recommendations for a good cleanser or moisturizer? I have sunscreen and will wear it more. I
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/24 03:26 AM
5

I'm going to give you some truths that might be tough to here, but having been in a similar situation, this is what I would want/need a friend to tell me, and what you need to here. You're in an emotional affair with your boss. The ethical move here is to immediately cut off the affair, quit, and confess. Affairs are like a drug. The affair partner becomes the greatest in the world, and your partner becomes blander./meaner/whatever to justify what you're doing. The problem isn't LD. It's the aff…
/r/RedPillWives30/04/24 08:46 AM
2

Wait, your daughter is 4? She was being "not nice" for two years? So when she turned 2? 2 is a baby. 3 is a baby. 4 is still too little. She behaved "nicer" because she's now afraid of her parents. She is a small child. Her brain is literally incapable of truly understanding right from wrong at this age. It went so far that always immediately when I left the house, she would instantly be very loving towards the father and immediately when I arrived back in the house, she would instantly be very …
/r/RedPillWives30/04/24 07:56 AM
6

oh, honey. go to therapy. thinking hitting children is ok is a sign that you are not ok.
/r/RedPillWives30/04/24 07:55 AM
1

OYS Number: 1 OYS Comment Preference: 2 or 3 Demographics: early 30's, one child, been together 10 years total, were married but recovering from my affair, still living together but hubby is pretty done romantically, I still love him and want to become the wife he deserves in his honor whether or not he would take me back Gratitude list: My man - generally but especially for telling me about a YT channel recently that has been opening my eyes to how badly I've hurt him and inspiring me that beco…
/r/RedPillWives29/04/24 03:42 AM
1

Have you checked r/surrendered_wives?
/r/RedPillWives19/01/24 09:51 PM
1

As someone who ended up having an affair and deeply regrets it, the first thing I can tell you to do to prevent this is TELL YOUR HUSBAND!! That's my number one advice. Tell your husband everything. Be super radically honest, with yourself and your husband. Affairs thrive in secrecy. Crushes happen, and for the health of the relationship couples need to be honest when they occur. Immediately honest. This is how you protect a marriage. Don't message this man one on one. Pull him in a group messag…
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 07:36 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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