Understanding Hypergamy in Real Life

AngelFire_3_14156 · 2024-10-27T14:23:38+00:00

Hypergamy essentially means that as women, we will instinctively seek out the highest value male we can possibly get. We seek out a male with the highest social status, the best genetics and abilities. It's actually good, because it helps to ensure the survival of our species. It's also is a tool for us to choose a good mate and have a happy and fulfilling relationship.

We can talk about certain general male characteristics that are high value, but the specifics can be subjective and depend on the woman's individual preferences.

While hypergamy is instinctive, that doesn't mean that it should run our lives uncontrollably. I can cite numerous examples of this on Reddit - if hypergamy is left to run amok, it can leave you and everyone else around you absolutely miserable.

We are rational animals and can be in control of our instincts. The Wisdom books in the Old Testament and the Greek and Roman philosophers often talked about controlling one's passions. Today we call this Emotional Intelligence. Empathy and self-awareness which comes with Emotional Intelligence are also very important.

As for hypergamy, it can be used to our benefit or it can be highly destructive

Ruffleafewfeathers · 2024-10-27T19:57:02+00:00

I have to be honest here, I think hypergamy has been twisted into something it isn’t. I think at its core hypergamy is the idea that we go for the highest quality mate we are capable of achieving, however once we’ve found our life partner, I think the excuse of “hypergamy” for wanting to chase after others is really just a BS way of excusing poor morals and a desire to cheat.

I adore my husband, he is everything I could ever want and I have exactly zero desire to stray. I don’t feel there is a higher quality man out there. I committed to being with him through everything life could throw at us, and I made that commitment after truly vetting and examining if we are compatible in the long term. Do we have disagreements? Sometimes. But we are a team, it’s us vs the problem—never us vs each other. We have been through the worst of times and the best of times together and our lives are forever intertwined. If we either of us feels like we have a need that isn’t being met, we communicate and make sure that changes.

Women are not just creatures bound by flights of fancy, blowing with the slightest of breezes as many RP men’s forums would have you believe. I strongly believe that the vetting stage is crucial before you commit, because you are saying “I do” not “I’ll try” when it comes to marriage. If you are thinking of straying or are fantasizing about being with someone else, either you didn’t vet your partner properly before marriage or you two haven’t been communicating properly, either way, you should get help in the form of a therapist (ideally individually and for couple’s counseling) and work on things. Barring abuse or extreme circumstances, if you married this man, you’ve made your choice and now you should be doing your utmost to make the most of your marriage.

throwawaytalks25 · 2024-10-27T12:49:38+00:00

I really don't know, because despite this concept being so widely accepted, I don't fantasize about other men or about being in a different relationship. I actually really don't even look at other men like that.

Can anything be done to overcome hypergamy, or are women just doomed to live with temptation to go out in search of greener grass when the relationship becomes stressful or her needs aren't being filled?

If needs aren't being fullfilled you need to be honest about it and discuss how you can resolve that issue together. Life being stressful just is imo, and you have to support each other through it.

ComprehensiveHat8073 · 2024-11-10T05:10:10+00:00

" or are women just doomed to live with temptation to go out in search of greener grass when the relationship becomes stressful or her needs aren't being filled?"

--- The real problem is most women stay too long in relationships that are not good for them. If women leaving at the first signs of stress was really that common, domestic violence statistics wouldn't be what they are.

Title	Understanding Hypergamy in Real Life
Author	Top-Break6703
Upvotes	7
Comments	14
Date	October 27, 2024 6:22 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/1gd4q4a/understanding_hypergamy_in_real_life/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/understanding-hypergamy-in-real-life.1534388 https://theredarchive.com/post/1534388

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