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View 4 posts and 35 comments by TopSwagCode on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
12

RantTopSwagCode/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 02:35 PM
11

Getting StartedTopSwagCode/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 06:49 PM
9

Living SituationsTopSwagCode/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 12:59 PM
2

Need SupportTopSwagCode/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 04:17 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

I did it for my son. I only required it was something new. We have a good new coparent relationship. I just want my son to have a good summer.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/26 09:00 PM
1

I am currently on vacation with my ex and son. She wanted to go to place we used to. I say I wasn't going back to those good memories. It would be to hard on me. So we picked a new place and currently its going fine. I am sleeping on the couch. I fucked up and we had sex..... but that's a complety different can of worms and regret......
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/26 10:05 AM
2

I feel you. Exact same situation. Dating this new women. She is awesome nice, but having hard time in "accepting" her. She broke up with me, and I was fine with it and totally understood why. I had a hard time giving her attention She deserved and needed. I wish her all the best. Now I am taking a chill. To be honest I didnt expect to find anyone on dating apps. I am below average looking. Have a 7 year old child and a dog. I was sure I was going to be in the bottom of the dating lists. But I wa…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/26 09:43 AM
3

Well. I am 39 and just started dating again. Not sure I will marry, but I do like spending time with other people. We only meet when I dont have my son home
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 03:48 PM
3

This. Stop being selfish and work on your self. Step up and be a man. My recommendation would be beg her not to divorce you and live alone outside the house for several months. Work on your self and your issues. Ask if its okay to come to dinner every now and then, but never stay the night. Put their needs over your needs. Show really progress.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 03:43 PM
2

I totally get you. 15 years with my ex ended 6 months ago. All the same thoughts went through my head. Maybe dating shouldn't be your top priotization right now, but rather getting your self up again. I installed all the apps, just to see what is out there. Kept comparing them to my ex. Other days I just swiped on anything with a pulse ÷- 15 years of my age. What helped me was starting focusing more on myself and my son happiness.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 11:27 PM
1

So living with someone who doesnt love you. No kisses or hugs. Doesn't care if its your birthday. I want to be with someone who I can spend my time with. Someone I know has my back through thick and thin. I hope I find someone new. Someone to share my life with. I dont hate my ex. Still love her. Would do anything to patch things up. But when its one way, there is no fixing things. The thing is, I still love myself and my son enough to know this is better than having 1 sad parent and 1 meh paren…
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/26 08:12 PM
1

Yes. I broke things up. She was "happy" with the arangement. I broke things up on my birthday, because I realised there was nothing left. She hadn't gotten me any present. She hadn't spent time with our son making some present. I always make secret present with son and take son of buying present. Make her birthday special and go out for dinner. It was hard to break up with someone you love, but knowing there was nothing left I had to. Asked several times for couple therapy, but she always said s…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 03:17 AM
3

Thank you for the reply :) good to know there is something to look forward to
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 07:41 PM
1

I would recommend to have a contract with plans for reviews along the way. Not having a plan is most likely going to backfire at aome point.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 05:57 PM
1

He is doing fine. There has been some times where I had to hold back tears. "Does this mean we will never do X again?" - Sorry, but we are instead going to do Y. We have tried to spin it as something positive and said its okay to be sad. Nothing big. Small things like kissing both our hands and bringing em together saying now we are boyfriend and girlfriend again. Asking why we cant live in apartments next to each other. We focus on him being happy and spending time still. Like today we all went…
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 05:00 PM
2

Yes. I would.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 05:47 AM
2

I know exactly how you feel. Only difference is my son is 7. When the process first started I had panic attacks, was afraid I was going to die alone, was afraid I would loose my job, loose my son, get sick......... All kinds of fears. I stopped up and slowly started working on my self and still do so. It's been 4 months since divorce. My guess it's going to be 4 more months before I will even consider dating again. Right now I am just focusing on my son and myself. My boss and I had a great talk…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 05:19 AM
1

"I think about this a lot when I hear people say their support system is solid. A solid support system and useful guidance are two different things. Both matter. They're just not the same thing." Exactly this. I used my family mainly as outlet / shoulders to cry on and not guidance. They didn't need to "fix" anything, just someone I could talk things out with. For guidance I must admit I used AI / Claude / ChatGPT + official documents. I would ask AI a bunch of questions and where I could read t…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 05:07 AM
1

Gym - Ohh. Joke aside. Walks helps me alot. Small hobby / Reading / Learning something new. I am thinking about joining some evening class paiting / pottery / something new. Games / online games / single player games. Planning vacations (even though you might not have time / money). Simply just planning how your dream vacation might look like. Find pictures and make scrap book.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 11:20 AM
2

Really depend on what is considered fault - I broke up with my ex. But mainly because she didn't wanted to do couple therapy / counsel / whatever. So I think it's her fault for not wanting to work on us. But it was me that pulled the trigger.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 07:38 PM
1

Nope. I didnt even get a birthday gift before my divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/26 07:00 AM
1

Nope. Played the hand I was dealt. Did everything I could. Regret nothing, only that she didnt want to to get outside help at least for the sake of our son.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 08:37 PM
3

If you want 50/50. Move closer before trying to getting it. Dig deep and dont have your own feelings involved. Is 50/50 the right thing for your child? Is it possible for you to work and take care of the child? How close are you with the child? Does the child feel safe being with you that much? I dont know your current agreements. But if you want a chance of getting 50/50, you need to step up. You need to get along with your ex. You need to live closer and coparent your child. You need to work a…
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 02:20 PM
2

My plan is to focua on aon, dog and apartment in that order. Built up a new home that fits us. Sure I would like friends and new life parthner. But now I am just tired getting normal life up and running
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 10:34 PM
4

I totally get you. I try not to think to much about it while with my son. Just focusing on having a great time. But its hella hard. At some point this will be "life" and it will be the new normal. I am trying to take 1 day at the time and not thinking to far ahead.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/26 06:17 PM
1

I have no lessons, just in the early phase. But I choose to buy because rent around here is insane and I had the money to buy. Also I know I am going to stay the next 9 years while my son is in school. So for me buying was a no brainer. I could rent expensive, but be flexible when I wanted to move. Or I could buy, get more space and live cheaper.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/26 08:43 PM
2

Yeah it sucks. Divorce with kids aint easy. There is no right way. Best you can do is to keep "friends" with coparent and just tell in neutral way your not boyfriend / girlfriend any more, but you still love your children and it not their fault.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 05:01 PM
1

The world does. I think there is some "pride" we need to let go and be okay, not being okay and bottle up our emotions.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 09:26 AM
1

My mom is super supportive. But again, she divorced my dad and has been in similar shoes.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 09:24 AM
1

You need to get out. I am a man and I have "yelled" help. I contacted my family. Talked with colleagues and friends. I have gone to a therapist. Also I have a dog. I pretty quickly identified I could not go through this alone. Everyone has been super helpfull. I have a couple of colleagues who has gone through the same with similar age kids years ago. I have none understanding coworkers who are still supportive and has offered help moving. I think the biggest thing, is knowing is it wont come au…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 09:21 AM
2

"Then I saw how unemotional she was in this process". Know it too well. I was the one breaking things up, but she had no emotions about it / showing anything. I was / am the only one crying about it. I am early in the process and this actual helps me, that it was the right decision.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 04:57 AM
1

As others stated its normal. I am just getting started. Angry, sad, grief, anxiety, whole bunch of feelings. Its not easy. But starting fights wont help either. My game plan is just to do my best while we are both living in the house. I have refused to take bedroom. Nothing has changed since before breakup. It was dead before and dead afgerwards. Nothing wrong with 2 adults just sharing bed. Keep it simple. Give her space. Get some help.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 12:18 PM
2

I am currently in the starting point of the same process. We have broken up. House for sale. Dead bedroom was one of the issues I also had. But it was only one of the many things. I tried to talk it through, that it was not just the sex, but the overall communication had died. I was in the same place threats, etc. Looking back those parts was stupid and counter productive, because underneath it all it wasnt the sex there was the issue. Personally for me any ways. So for me I gave it an internal …
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 10:23 AM
1

Thank you so much. Wish there was a way to fast track
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 05:57 PM
1

If our house is sold I will give it little chance for us having any chances ever again. We have done so much for building the perfect home for now to loose massive $$$$ selling it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 05:51 PM
2

This is kinda my fear. I still love her insanely. But I cant do it all. I also need to take care of myself.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 05:36 PM
1

Good to hear that you are doing better. The first step is insanely hard. Parts of me felt like just giving up and just be ok with not being happy, but atleast have "stable" future and happy'ish son, as long as he is not able to see the real picture. That was my main driver ensuring he would have a better life later on with 2 hopefully happy parents that are there for him.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 05:35 PM
2

Solid advice. Tried to get 2 counceling and both had 2 months waitlist. Right now I have paused looking for another. Booked 3 different people to come and look at the house so we can get it sold. At the moment my energy levels are alltime low and just trying to get 1 tasks done every day.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 05:31 PM
1

Thank you. Will checkout
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 04:59 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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