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View 7 posts and 143 comments by TxAlive on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
107

TxAlive/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 06:37 PM
43

TxAlive/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 02:19 PM
43

TxAlive/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 04:35 PM
31

TxAlive/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 11:05 PM
10

TxAlive/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 05:04 PM
6

TxAlive/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 02:34 PM
3

TxAlive/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 01:46 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Yeah. I’d have zero problem giving money to my STBXW if I knew the money would be spent on my kids
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/26 07:02 AM
1

That’s ridiculous
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 12:24 PM
1

That’s amazing. I’d fight for less child support but frankly I feel like that money is going to my kids, so why fight it?
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 04:27 PM
9

I completely agree with this. Going through it with my STBXW. She keeps telling me I’m not collaborating with her. Which means, when she tells me something she wants (give our son her phone, and “we”, meaning I buy HER a brand new one), and I say no. No baby. Those are called boundaries. Boundaries are new to our 19 year relationship. Becaus I didn’t have any. And now I do. And you throw a fit about it like a child.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 04:05 AM
1

Makes total sense to me. My STBXW wants 2-2-5-5 becaus she still thinks they’re young. They’re 13 and 11.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 04:58 AM
1

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 11:08 PM
1

This is excellent. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 03:09 AM
1

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 10:55 PM
1

Thank you. This is good info. I appreciate it
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 10:54 PM
1

Thank you very much. We are still living together, so there is nothing already set
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 10:38 PM
1

That’s a cool idea. Good for you two for working together. My STBXW can’t even look at me, let alone talk to me. She’s treating me as if I had an affair or something. The hate. After 19 years. Hopefully for the kids’ sake, she will be able to drop her hate one day. I’ll keep praying for her
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 12:24 PM
1

Thank you. If you can believe it…my boss was a single dad. So he was very flexible. Then he passed away a month after she told me she wants a divorce. So now I have a new boss who is more of a ball buster. However I did tell him, and he told me to let him know how the firm can support me. More money would help!
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 02:24 AM
4

Wow. That’s a lot of time away from your kids!
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 02:22 AM
2

I like this a lot. I’d even be cool with an evening visitation - like pick them up from school an drop them off at shower/bed time.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 02:21 AM
2

That’s exactly my thoughts as well. Less sleeping out of a suitcase.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 02:20 AM
1

2-2-3 is an interesting option. Oddly I haven’t thought about that yet
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 02:19 AM
1

I am going to propose 7-7 with a mid week visitation by the off parent.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 02:18 AM
1

Yes. They both have made it very clear that they want 50/50 custody. But we haven’t asked if they prefer 2-2-5-5 or 7-7. I don’t want to put them in the middle of the drama. But I DO know they’d like me to keep my job
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 02:17 AM
1

Yup. Mine is 100% focused on money right now. But spending money on lawyers like it’s an unending pile of cash.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 02:16 AM
3

Just seems the most reasonable for the kids. Two homes. One week. One week
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 07:04 PM
2

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 06:24 PM
3

Yeah. Thank you. She’s very combative right now. So I’m hoping that eases up soon enough
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 06:17 PM
3

I doubt we end up living any further than 10 min from each other. I think 7/7 where the odd parent gets one night a week to hang with the kids till it’s time to get ready for bed. That gives me ability to travel to keep my job. Gives the kids a stable place for a week at a time (instead of living out of a suitcase) and has fewer opportunities for a shitty hand off
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 05:59 PM
2

Doesn’t the give one parent every weekend?
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 05:50 PM
5

You’re exactly right. Spent the past 19 years doing everything I can to give her everything she wanted in life. It was never enough. She always needed more. More friend time. More party time. And it just became too much for me to keep up with. So having boundaries is something I’m trying to learn
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 05:45 PM
2

She is a nurse. Doing private in home care nursing 1 - she says she can’t find a job as a nurse during normal working hours (I call bullshit) 2 - she wants to do overnight work staying at people’s houses that need help at night. The only way she can do this is to NOT do 7/7 because she could not offer overnight work to people on a consistent basis. Again this is so she can have day times available to play with friends Meantime, I’m just trying to keep my job, that has paid for our entire life fo…
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 05:38 PM
8

I tried to get tennis (and the associated friends and social life and excessive drinking and partying that comes with it), to take a back seat to our marriage. And here we are…
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 05:35 PM
2

Yeah. That’s what I’m noticing too. I am submitting the financial split “offer” this week. But when I look around the house…everything I’ve paid for (I’ve been the only income for 12 years) are things she’s bought. That she likes. That she wanted. I’m just going to need to start over. And that feels overwhelming
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 11:42 AM
1

Thank you. I feel this. I’m being very nice to my STBXW. When they’re around and not when they’re around. She’s being downright evil to me though. But, it is what it is. I can only control my actions
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 12:39 AM
1

Son is 13 in March. Daughter is 11 in Feb
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 03:35 PM
1

Thank you. My son is REALLY hurting
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 03:35 PM
1

How does 3-2-4-6 work?
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 05:48 AM
2

I couldn’t agree more. Thank you for your support
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 01:51 PM
2

3.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 12:52 PM
3

It was a very long night. My STBXW went to bed. I stayed with my son as he was crying for hours. My daughter ended up coming into his room too and started crying. I asked her if she wanted to sleep with an adult and had her go wake my STBXW up. My son will not accept that it’s not his job to help us through this, emotionally. He also asked me how we can ever help mom believe in Jesus (she’s atheist, I’m Christian), if it’s just him living with her and not me. I didn’t realize he was also carryin…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 12:51 PM
5

Last night my son was crying hard. Talking about how we were the perfect family. Lived the perfect life. And now this. My wife is not willing to accept he feels things how I feel things, and I was borderline suicidal when she told me. This isn’t pretty
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 12:44 PM
5

Yes. I called the principal right away.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 12:42 PM
5

After watching yesterday unfold, I’m afraid for my kids mental health. Slept on my sons floor last night as I am not comfortable leaving him alone
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 12:40 PM
1

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 06:35 PM
1

Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 06:34 PM
2

Good point. No. She has never asked for forgiveness
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 06:33 PM
2

Thanks man. Sounds like you’ve been in my shoes. I’m so damn concerned about the kids. Once we tell them, they’re going to be different people. And in my mind it’s going to be horrible. And there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m not used to not being able to protect my children
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 05:55 AM
1

Thank you very much. This is good advice. I need to stay sane, for them. The first two months after she told me, I about lost my mind. Bottomed out around Christmas Eve. And feel stabilized now. Going to be hard with a very demanding job that requires frequent and irregular travel, with always a high chance of losing the job. But I just need to take it one day at a time
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 05:17 AM
1

Breaking society. Convincing women they need to be freed to pursue the life they’ve always wanted. Instead of trying to protect the sanctitude (sp) of marriage and family.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 05:16 AM
1

Yup. I get the blame for her dad not loving her unconditionally and having a 7 year affair on her mom. I am closer to the kids because they actually want to be around me. Society is broken
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 04:23 AM
1

I know this story. Lived it. And tomorrow morning it will be official as the kids will know.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 04:22 AM
1

I didn’t like her lifestyle. I asked for more closeness and connection. She refused. I got bitter. Oh, and finances started to get tight so I asked her to go back to work, instead of playing tennis 3-4 days a week. That was kind of the end of it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 01:54 AM
2

She said “the kids will just be kids who had a little adversity in their lives” WTF?!?!?
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 01:52 AM
3

This is where I am. 0.00% believe this will not create long term harm on my children. And her “chasing happiness” is her looking our kids in the eyes and telling them “I’m willing to fuck you up, for my own personal happiness.” I don’t think you can come back from that
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 01:50 AM
1

I feel this. I once told her “I think you’re taking out some of your issues with your dad, on me” And she admittedly was jealous about how much I loved and loved on our kids.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 01:48 AM
2

This is good. I like it a lot. Start thinking “ok, now that I’m 100% in charge, what can we do better”
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 01:45 AM
7

Yup. The therapist that convinced my wife to leave me told my wife, after their first session, that I wanted to divorce her. And eventually told my wife I was a narcissist. I’ve never spoken to or met this woman. Oh, and she’s in her mid 30s and is a therapist part time. Helped destroy a family of four. Well done, lady
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 01:45 AM
2

God bless you and I hope it all goes well. Thank you for your response. This is just horrible
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 01:43 AM
3

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 05:04 PM
2

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 05:04 PM
4

I am finding my angst toward her may be getting in the way of me settling the divorce. I just want to dig in, and hold my ground, because I am so upset with her.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 05:00 PM
2

We fought too much for her. I don’t adore her enough. I resent her for hurting me (no cheating, that I know of) and she can’t be married to someone who has resentments about her. 17 year marriage. No cheating, abuse, addiction.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 04:57 PM
2

I’m in the same boat my friend. I told her I will not co-sign with her on this decision.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 04:55 PM
4

I’m sorry to hear this. It would really really bother me, as well
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 06:22 AM
10

This happened to me. And my best friend. It’s the same story. They do something (lose weight, fake tits, new job promotion…etc…) then they get external validation. They minimize your importance in their life, because they no longer need you to validate them. Then they leave..then..they regret it. But yes, she’s been preparing for this for a long time. I tried backing off my wife and building my own life, instead of begging her for attention. And within weeks of doing so, she filed for divorce. C…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 05:50 AM
5

Spot on.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 05:47 AM
2

Don’t quit. I won’t quit till the papers are signed. You never want your kids to think you gave up on them. No regrets. I mean, I get it. If she cheated or is abusive or an addict. But if she’s just going through a mid life crisis (like mine), give it all you have, for the kids sake.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 05:07 AM
5

In there 100%. She can fuck me over all she wants. But the pain she’s about to inflict on My kids is devastating. And I can’t fucking stop Her
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 05:59 AM
1

This is all awesome
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 05:57 AM
4

Stay strong. I’m going on 3 months since she told me she wanted a divorce, and we are still in the same house, 2 kids (10/12), and she’s been a different person than I married. I’m doing my best to stay strong to show the kids how an adult works through adversity
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 03:55 AM
1

I’ve started this. Finally putting things on the walls that I like. Watching what I want. Doing what I want. Slowly starting to see how much control she exerted on everything we did
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 03:19 AM
2

Feels exactly like this. Exactly
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 03:17 AM
1

Yup. Couldn’t agree more
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 03:15 AM
1

I pay him by the 15 min. $500 an hour. So thought I’d just see if the collective had views/answers/history they could speak of
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 03:15 AM
2

That’s kind of what I’m thinking too. Lock in the 50/50, then move forward from there
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 03:13 AM
1

I agree 100%. I’d be willing to keep it together till the kids move out. For the kids sake. But this definitely is not the woman I married. She’s changed. For the worse
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 03:12 AM
3

This is good advice. I’ve been trying to hold ground. What I have going in my favor is she’s always out with friends. She’s always out of the house. And I’m the one home with the kids. Of course they get excited when mom gets home. But they know who is here and who is the steady parent. How could they not
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 03:11 AM
4

If there weren’t children involved this marriage would have been over 5-6 years ago!
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 05:50 AM
6

At the beginning of it all I was in so much shock, and in crisis / damage control mode (at the same time the founder of the firm I work for died), I became extremely anxious and depressed. So I didn’t fight back. But my friends and mom kept telling me what you’re saying here. Fight for yourself. Stand up for yourself. Don’t give up on yourself or on the kids. The story will be written and it will not say that I quit on my family.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 05:49 AM
4

I think that’s brilliant. I also pay all the bills, and am the only one on the mortgage, and some reason she thinks she will be able to stay in the house. She’s so confident about it, it almost makes me feel like I’m missing something
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 05:45 AM
3

This is really good. I moved to the spare room a few months ago, but she used the kids as leverage for that. She told me if I didn’t, she would tell the kids we are getting a divorce, before Christmas. But, regarding the house, I think I’m in the same boat. I’m digging in. I told her “you want the divorce. I don’t. I don’t want to blow this family up. So if you want out so bad, then leave”
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 05:44 AM
1

I also just simply don’t like my house. It’s too big. Too expensive. Costs too much to keep up. But I want stability for my kids and it’s really their house. I’m just a bystander and fund it all until they move out. But if it was just me, I’d live in a 600 square foot apartment.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 05:40 AM
1

That’s what I’ve been trying hard to do. She is not afraid to spend the kids future college money on trying to fight a fight she won’t win.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 01:10 AM
3

Thank you. She told me Oct 1, filed a few weeks later. But we haven’t told the kids because we wanted one last Christmas for them. But she’s extremely unpredictable and is living in La La land regarding how this will look when it’s over. I pay 100% of the bills and WFH. She works 20 hours a week or so, goes out with friends a few nights a week, saves Thursdays to play tennis and hang with friends, but has a nursing degree.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 01:09 AM
9

That’s what I’ve been telling her
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 01:06 AM
7

Thanks everyone. I’m not moving out. I’m just curious why everyone (including my lawyer) is sooo dead set on it. She won’t move out either. Even though she’s not on the mortgage and I pay 100% of the bills. So it’s a standoff until there’s a final agreement and more money is spent
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 11:47 PM
3

This is my fear. Last night after eating the Santa cookies, I crumbled to the floor. Felt like a nervous breakdown. I can deal with pain. But my kids don’t deserve this selfish act their mom is doing. I don’t get how a parent can look at their kids and essentially say “I’m ready to blow your life up, for my own happiness.” Not in my DNA
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 08:43 PM
9

My kids are 10 and 12, just shy of 11 and 13. So I can relate a little. Go. Don’t hesitate. It’s not about you. It’s not about her. It’s about your kids. If they you somewhere, and you have the ability to go, go. Even if it kills you to do it. Go give them the love they deserve from their dad.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 05:40 AM
2

That’s rough. My wife told me Oct 1, that she wanted a divorce. We are still living together. And haven’t told the kids yet. It’s not easy. We don’t fight often. I’m just indifferent now. I could keep it together for a few years, for the kids, but no way she could
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 01:14 AM
2

How long did you live together post separation? And did you date while separated, but before divorced?
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/25 01:50 PM
3

Me too. It was like a drug though. The more I gave her, the more she needed it from all sources. Friends. Guys at the gym. Guys on Instagram…etc…. She even admitted to me “I just need to be adored”
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 01:06 PM
12

External validation - feeling trapped- you’re controlling - I need out. Rinse wash repeat. Could be fake boobs, weight loss, new high paying job…anything that they can get external validation from. I called it early on in my marriage. Was told I was nuts by my STBXW (did I do that right) and our therapist. Lo and behold….the movie continues. Just like every other story I’ve heard. Kids be damned. It’s all about her validation
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 11:28 PM
8

I know the feeling. But she quit. She’s probably told that she’s “brave” from her echo chamber of friends. But I’ve never seen a quitter be tagged with being “brave” before. This is a big problem in society right now. You didn’t fail. Your an imperfect human like we all are. Society and social media and past generational damage is what has failed us
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 03:06 PM
2

Yeah man. I brush my daughter’s hair every night. Make her bed before she gets in bed. It’s going to be fucking horrible. And I don’t care what anyone else says. It’s going to be fucking horrible.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 08:11 PM
11

Brother, I don’t have an answer for you, but everything you say resonates with me. WFH, coach the kids, drop off and pick up. Best part of my day, every day, is when they get home from school. I don’t have answers, but I’m destroyed on the inside for the same reasons you are. Would he easier to be the dad that just isn’t that into being a dad. Or enjoys the freedom. I’m just not that guy (for good or bad). It’s the worst part of the entire thing. Money - blah. Losing my wife - ok. My kids though…
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 07:56 PM
3

Wow. I’m in Texas which is one of the hardest states to get alimony in. But it’s community property, so you split assets. Would be a kick in the junk to have to split income 50/50. I’m sorry to hear this
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 04:54 PM
2

A lot of what you say is why my wife wants to stay in the house. But she can’t afford to refi and can’t afford the payments. I’m the only one on the mortgage, and currently pay for everything. So I’ll be able to keep it going. At least for a few years. But she is fighting like hell to NOT be the one to move out, because of the perception of it all.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 11:52 PM
4

Thank you so much for this information. I really appreciate you taking the time to write that all out
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 11:39 PM
3

Great points. That’s kind of what I was thinking too. Most the cleaning and upkeep will happen when the kids are not here. I think I’m going to have to keep the house. She can’t qualify to refi. It’s too much house for 4 people, let alone 3 (50% of the time), but we’d like the kids to at least have a stable home base for a few years
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 08:06 PM
3

Thank you And yes, time is the only thing that matters. I do need to keep my job, if we want to keep the kids in this house as long as possible. But the thing that breaks my heart the most is how few nights I’ll have with my kids, going forward. Kills me
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 07:16 PM
3

Thank you! Which days do you have that you don’t have your kids?
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 06:08 PM
1

I appreciate this. I’m not sure she’s able to cover for me. She wants to work some evenings, so she can have some work hours/ week days wide open, to be able to see friends and do her social thing. I know it sounds ridiculous. But she’s choosing to work a job that she can pick and choose her schedule. And wants to pick evening shifts, a few days a week, so that she can have more social hour during the week. And I’m not sure what I can do about it. My head says “go get a normal job like everyone …
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 04:16 PM
2

That’s an awesome schedule. No way she will give up all weekends though. But I envy that schedule
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 04:13 PM
1

Well, her first argument was that our soon to be 11 year old daughter couldn’t be away from her for more than 5 days straight. So I said “ok, then the ‘off’ parent can pick the kids up from school one day on their off week, and hang with them till bed time.” Now she’s saying that having the same consistent days off each week, would allow her to get evening jobs (she works as a private in home care nurse, and has like 2-3 hours jobs on random days). So her story changes. And she tried to use the …
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 03:00 PM
1

Thank you. She wants 2-2-5-5, but I don’t see how that provides me any opportunity to travel other than Monday - Wednesday (home by school pick up), each week. Maybe I’m missing something? She’s very anchored on it. I also have control over my travel, but may need to change jobs and may end up with slightly less control. And I also currently WFH otherwise, but may not forever. So, trying to build the opportunity for flexibility, as my firm may not be around for more than another year. 7/7 is mor…
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 02:27 PM
8

My 48(m) buddy who has been divorced for about 5/6 years said they all want long term. Even ones that say short term, he said feels they still want long term. Need an app called “Rebound”
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 02:07 PM
11

This is very good. I did notice a strong parallel between when I started to struggle in life, and her emotionally exiting the relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 04:58 AM
6

Studies show couples come to therapy 6 years too late. You’re 100% right, in my opinion.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 07:54 PM
4

But it feels better to know you’re not alone. I’m also struggling through the process. Sole bread winner. Wife taking advantage of that. Once I asked her to stop playing tennis and drinking all day, and go back to work, she filed for divorce. Our kids are about to turn 13 and 11. Everyone keeps telling me “you’ll get through this” and “she’s not the only one getting free”. But it’s still freaking hard, on many fronts. Pray. Love your kids. Believe in yourself. I had crippling anxiety when it all…
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 02:38 AM
3

My goodness. This is exactly my story
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 10:36 PM
1

Thank you. I read a good book - is it you, is it me, or is it adult ADD (or something like that). It’s not something anyone chooses. But if we are all introspective and accept who they are (like I am a sober alcoholic for the past 23 years, and that’s a lot to deal with too!) But when we hide from the truth, we hide from the work, and we hide from being the best we can be. I admire your humbleness.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 01:40 PM
1

Awesome advice
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 08:54 AM
2

Thank you for these words of encouragement. I appreciate it. Would not be shocked if she was already out there…
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 08:53 AM
1

Thanks brother. It unfortunately feels good to know I’m not alone
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 05:19 AM
3

This is exactly what I’m looking for as an outcome. I want to protect the family home and the kids’ home
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 09:17 PM
3

You know, I don’t really care about the money. All I care about is looking these innocent kids in the eyes and knowing what we are about to do is going to absolutely turn their lives upside down. And they have been doing really really well in life. I’d give all the money if I knew they’d be perfectly mentally and emotionally happy and safe. It’s a hard lesson in life - accept the things you cannot change, change the things you can, and know the difference
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 07:35 PM
2

Thank you so much!
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 07:19 PM
4

Thank you so much for this. Everyone keeps saying not to move out. I refuse to move out. She planned a vacation for herself two weeks after our planned date to tell the kids. They can’t feel abandoned by both of us
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 06:55 PM
10

As someone sober and going through this, I’ll just say - don’t drink, no matter freaking what. I wish I had the answers. My kids are teens/preteens, and we are about to completely destroy their reality. All I can do is pray, love, reassure, and pray some more.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 06:24 PM
1

Thank you. I could use any advice possible! I’ve been home alone with them a lot, because my wife goes out with her friends a lot. I try to go back and forth between the two of them, when it’s bed time. Be with my 10 yr old daughter when shes getting ready for bed. Brush her hair. Tuck her in. Then go spend time on my son’s floor, reading a book, while he is unwinding and getting ready for bed. It’s a hustle to go back and forth like that. But hopefully they both feel important. I did coach both…
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 06:12 PM
3

It’s hard.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 05:43 PM
3

Great advice from someone having been through it. Being right in the thick of it is hard to see there is a light at the end. Especially when I look my kids in the eyes or they’re crying and don’t know why they’re crying
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 05:42 PM
1

Ah. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 05:41 PM
1

Thank you. I know there could be good from this. Hard to watch your innocent wonderful children hurt though
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 05:26 PM
1

I guess what I’m curious about is - if one is to “sell the home immediately”, what does that look like. As we know, selling a house takes time. Buying a new house takes time. Especially if we want to keep the kids in the same schools. Do both parents tend to move into rentals asap, when you “sell the house immediately”? Just trying to figure out how to map this next 6 months out, in my head. I also WFH, so my home is my office, which throws another wrinkle into everything!
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 05:11 PM
1

Thank you. Being Christian and her being Atheist did lead to a lot of struggles. I pray with my 12 year old son now though.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 04:32 PM
2

Thank you. I do travel about one night a week right now. But maybe the weeks I’m not traveling, I should get out of the house. Just hard because the kids want to do the Christmas stuff. I do see how getting out and away can help reset emotions and connection
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 04:21 PM
1

That’s where my head is. I feel like I’m missing something because she’s acting so confident about it all.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 04:20 PM
2

Thank you for taking the time to write all this out. What is DVRO? I’m hesitant to want to stay jn the house (5700 square feet, $812k mortgage, $1.55 market value but probably $60k of deferred maintenance), because of the financial liability. However, I CAN do it. Given how much money she spends (I keep track of all our finances), getting her off the payroll and paying her $2925 a month in child support is almost a break even. And we both believe it’s in the kids best interests to stay in their …
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 04:14 PM
2

At some point they will look back and regret this. Breaks my heart for my kids
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 04:05 PM
1

She works. Like 20-25 hours a week. Keeps a day a week open to socialize, play tennis..etc. She makes $45 an hour. I told her I assume the courts will expect her to work full time, and at a rate of $90k a year, with her being 43, with a nursing degree, and recent (5/6 months) working history, my lawyer does not believe she will get spousal support. And she will walk away with over 7 figures from the asset split, so she will be able to cover her “minimal reasonable needs”. What I don’t understand…
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 03:54 PM
2

When I told her I can’t pay child support as well as all the bills, she tried to show me that her income plus child support is enough to pay for it all. And I should stay on the mortgage and just trust she will be able to pay it. But I don’t trust it. She’s never lived alone in her life, she’s never lived within a budget in her life. I’m a financial professional. I’m not the smartest guy in the world, but I know money. She will not be able to pay for it all, based on her resources and the minima…
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 03:48 PM
3

Thank you. I’m glad I found this sub
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 03:42 PM
1

Thank you for taking the time to write this out. We don’t even need to refi. I’m the only one on the mortgage because she didn’t have an income when we bought the house. Now she claims not being on the mortgage “f*cks her”, but it is what it is. She picked the house. I bought it and paid for it. But now the mortgage is only under my name
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 03:26 PM
2

Good info. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 03:11 PM
3

Amazing. My wife’s therapist…the one who influenced my wife to leave me…is 35 years old, works part time, and has been a therapist for like 4 years. Give me a 60+ year old woman who has been a single mom, as a therapist please. She KNOWS life.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 03:10 PM
1

Yes. That’s exactly right. Crushes my soul to see them in these situations. There are tears every night, for one reason or another. And I just listen and empathize. Because I know it’s the limbo and unknown which is leading to a lot of it
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 03:01 PM
1

Bingo. Looking your sweet innocent kids in the eyes and saying “my happiness is more important than yours” is so foreign to me, I can’t even compute. And when I’ve mentioned that, she freaks out on me.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 02:55 PM
2

Thank you. I hope we don’t get to the judge level. And can settle in mediation. But she’s insanely irrational. Maybe her lawyer can talk some sense into her
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 02:53 PM
2

Thank you. I need this validation right now. Because that’s exactly what I’m doing. I know I’ll be alone for 50% of the time, very soon. So I’ll get my “me” time (gym, church, AA, friends) Right now I just want them to know I’m here for them and will always be there for them. I’ve made the some mistakes through these past few months, that have lead to some insecurities in my kids, and I’ve tried to learn from them. The guilt is real, and crippling. But it’s hard being the only emotions support p…
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 02:51 PM
5

Thank you. I’ve backed away from engaging with her. And just keep telling her “I’ll discuss that with my lawyer”
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 02:45 PM
1

17 years. I’m happy to buy her out with retirement assets. We are about dry on cash (thank you lawyers). It’s a complicated puzzle to solve. But I’m glad this happens all the time. So there must be an answer I have paid for everything for the past 12 years. I’m pretty sure I can continue to do so for the next 7, till the kids are out of the house!
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 02:45 PM
5

Thank you. Yeah. The therapists… once she got a new one, that’s when it all fell apart. We were seeing a woman together, who basically told my wife she was spoiled. So she stopped seeing her, an found one that taught her how to “be free”. That’s the Echo Chamber. It’s unfortunate. Destroying a family of four, to chase dopamine
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 02:43 PM
5

Thank you. Everyone I know ask if there’s another guy. She’s already told our entire community about the divorce, so she can tell her story. Even though we haven’t told the kids yet. I’m not sure if there is another guy. She’s just a big party girl (I’m 22.5 years sober) and always has a friend who wants to party. She has even booked herself a long weekend getaway with friends, for two weeks after we plan to tell the kids about the divorce….. Hard to star the new traditions when the kids keep sa…
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 02:38 PM
10

She asked me “did you just always think I was going to go back to work?” I told her “yes. You’ve kept your nursing licenses so you could go back once the kids don’t need you all day anymore. What did YOU expect?” She says she just wanted to “live” Like…retire at 42 while I grind. Roger that….
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 12:03 AM
4

Same situation here. I pay for everything. I’m on the mortgage, not her (she had no income at the time). She wants me to leave. I told her if she wants a divorce, she can leave. But she refuses to Problem is our 10 and 12 year old kids and Christmas. They are excited for Christmas, but they KNOW something is wrong. We haven’t explicitly told them yet though. What a shit show. Anyway. I think she mentally divorced me a year ago. I’ve only started about 2.5 months ago
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 01:56 PM
9

It’s a mind f. When I asked her to go back to work she told me she assumes it’s so that I don’t have to pay her alimony if we ever get divorced. At the time divorce wasnt even on my mind. But clearly she had been planning this for a while.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 01:50 PM
19

Once the kids are in school full time, and she spends 8-2 playing tennis and having a 2 wine lunch with friends, then gets home right in time to pick the kids up from school, and the rest of the night is a mad rush because she hasn’t done anything related to the family, all day. That is when the real fun starts! My advice is to NOT work from home. I do. And i saw the life she was living. And started to resent it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 06:23 AM
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