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UKFeminst38 Archive

View 2 posts and 92 comments by UKFeminst38 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
552

FDS SUCCESS!UKFeminst38/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 09:25 PM
49

SEEKING ADVICEUKFeminst38/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 11:35 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

Oh my God!! All of my love to you, what you've been through is terrible. Why, why are men so fucking horrifying? Well, we know why, because they can, because they get away with it and because they have the empathy of pond scum. Really hope you're doing OK. Many, many hugs to you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 08:47 AM
89

Doctors are honestly some of the most LVM around. Source: Nurse for nearly twenty years. Surgical, lemme tell you, surgeons are the absolute worst of the lot. I've heard them lie that, "the list is running late," on the phone to their wives, then leave the department with one of the many, many PickMes I also have the joy of working with (some other nurses, some doctors, most also cheating on spouses). Seriously, the medical field is a cesspit of human garbage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 12:14 AM
23

That book is fantastic. If I'd read it before I left my ex, I'd never have stayed. Now at least I know what to watch for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 05:46 PM
51

In many ways I think it's even more insidious. It's really easy to identify when a guy hits you that it's wrong (I know it can still be hard to walk away though with conditioning) but when it's "Just near you" they can gaslight you easier. My ex used to be violent around me, shouting, towering over me, destroying doors and such. If I said I found that frightening and was concerned he could one day do that to my face, he'd cry and say how horrid I was for thinking he'd ever do that. I can't belie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 05:44 PM
92

They definitely know the term when they call us emotionally abusive for daring to have feelings and being upset by their actions, though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 04:19 PM
15

"I can't see likes so message me." That really bothers me. If there's no mutual interest, what's the point? I also hate that OKC keeps telling me I "missed a match" when I pass on someone. No, stupid app, I didn't miss a match, I set my standards. Even the damn app tries to gaslight us. "I won't message anyone first any more." Yep, having a mantrum before I even check out the rest of your profile really makes me want to get to know you better. Pictures with kids. I mean, I'm childfree, so kids w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 04:08 PM
3

Here's a song on this: https://youtu.be/DTsdKycVZZ4
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 03:59 PM
9

Don't feel bad. I put up with shit for 18 years. I don't even have the excuse I didn't know what was going on, I did, I absolutely did, I just chose to put his selfish, entitled ass before me for way too long. Because I wanted to be understanding and a good person or some shit. Truth takes time, and as women, we have so much internalised misogyny to unpack. At least we can try and help younger lasses. Hugs and shit chick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 08:54 AM
28

Yep. You gotta say no to something, anything, early on in the vetting process and see how they react. I reckon that's exactly what they mean when they say, "He's perfect otherwise." What that really means is, "He's totally fine when he gets his way and I don't say no, but now I've hit my limit and have finally HAD to lay down a boundary, he's upset. He's great otherwise though, because he's getting what he wants, not because he actually respects me in those times." After years of knowing this an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 08:49 AM
37

Pretending to enjoy it is a cope. Like prostitutes who swear they choose that "work" because they like sex. It helps deal with it in the moment, but there'll be a lot to work on later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 08:43 AM
12

That is so gross, and unfortunately probably true. Men are just pigs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 08:38 AM
46

"Everything is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power." Oscar Wilde, supposedly (I'm always dubious about famous quotes, but whoever said it, it's right)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 08:37 AM
7

Aww, hun that is annoying. I have nothing but empathy for you and virtual hugs. So many men suck so bad. Hope you're doing OK.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 07:17 PM
5

My ex husband held me emotional hostage with actual self harm and threats of suicide if I ever dared suggest I was the slightest bit unhappy. Granted today I'd go out and buy the multiple boxes of paracetamol for them, but y'know, you live and learn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 11:07 AM
23

Don't be so sure. I felt the same after I left my husband, thinking he'd suddenly changed for his new twink Pickmesha bit. But he hasn't, he hasn't changed at all. She just thinks his low effort is OK and doesn't question him like I did. You'll be thriving, he'll be staying right where he is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 09:31 AM
17

Absolutely. They don't change. They just find someone else who'll put up with their low effort. And she is welcome to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 09:29 AM
3

You did the right thing. This is what men just don't understand. We have to always be thinking about whether this guy poses a threat, can he track me down, will he find out where I live? They have no empathy whatsoever for how we have to navigate this world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 04:36 PM
6

They only do these things until they're sure you're invested again, then go right back to how they were before. Don't trust it, if that was who he really was, he'd have already been doing it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 12:30 PM
41

How can you miss someone you've never met? Words are indeed meaningless to a whole new degree, aren't they? Scrotes don't even have to make sense any more and somehow these lasses still go running.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 05:11 PM
6

This is why I refuse to wear my name badge at work. It has our full name on it, I believe it should just be our first name. I have to care for prisoners and seriously mentally ill patients as well as the average drunken scrotes that fill our A+E.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 02:08 PM
1

I second those book recommendations heartily. If I'd read them at your age, I wouldn't have stayed with my NVM ex husband for as long as I did. I doubt I'd have even ever moved in with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 02:02 PM
3

I don't answer that. I either don't respond if that's all there is, or answer a question I made up myself based on something completely different if I'm at a loose end.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 01:44 PM
30

I love that book! That and The Gift of Fear should be required reading for all teenage girls before they start dating. What really stood out to me is the whole, "If he truly lost control, why did he stop at the point he did?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 01:41 PM
33

Yep. As a nurse, it really bothers me that strangulation keeps getting calling choking. Choking is when something blocks the airway internally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 01:37 PM
1

OMG, I love this idea!! And I'm an antisocial introvert, but it'd be worth braving society if I knew ladies like you would be there 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 12:19 PM
4

It totally does. Why do these men think this is OK? It's made me really picky and I vet the Hell outta guys now, so much so that I reject anyone that clearly isn't coming to me with all my boxes ticked. They really suck, don't they? Sorry for both you and your friend 🤗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 08:28 PM
24

I had the opposite. I was very open about my childfree status, from the beginning. He agreed to that. I laid it on super thick before we married, "You will NEVER have children from me." I lost 18 years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 08:15 PM
3

A lot of sitcoms showcase behaviour that's toxic as fuck. Well, ones that are based on the man/woman thing are. Shows like Blackadder or Red Dwarf were questioning that, then the 90s happened.........
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 07:37 PM
15

Of course, he's an, "excellent dad and husband." I don't think clearing out your joint savings and depriving your wife and children is quite what Bill and Ted meant........
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 04:00 PM
34

It REALLY rubs me the wrong way when they do that stupid, "haha, hehe," thing. I don't know why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 12:35 AM
12

That's fair. It's not wrong to want to continue to be a good person, actually in some respects I wish I could still be. I'm just cynical and tired and can't be arsed. Seriously, keep your niceness as long as you can, it's a strength. Just don't give it to the undeserving. Stay strong, Sis. All the best.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 09:56 PM
3

Lol, glad to be of service with my dry British humour 😀. Why can't I meet women like you in person? I'm surrounded by PickMes, Cool Girls and other associated handmaidens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 09:10 PM
18

Yep. I really hate it because it had so much potential at first to showcase different personalities and normalise asexuality and childfreedom. Then they made both Bernadette AND Penny change their minds for their men. Sheldon should have been left alone, his story should have been how others learnt to understand and accept him, rather than him becoming more, "normal." Your last sentence made me piss myself laughing too, so true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 06:30 PM
22

Friends has so much to answer for. Awful, awful show. Racist, homophobic, misogynistic, materialistic, and probably other things. How I Met Your Mother and Big Bang Theory can get on the same bus.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 06:04 PM
19

It's the giveaway that they don't respect women, any women, that's the problem. They like to turn it around and call us insecure, but that really isn't the issue. It's the fact that they're being gross and voyeuristic and objectifying and it betrays their true attitude. But seriously, can we stop calling these naive girls (as they are usually teens) "models?" Taking selfies in your underwear and plastering them on the Internet for validation from weirdo wankers isn't being a model, as far as I u…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 06:01 PM
10

Word. No response IS a response.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 05:53 PM
48

You're much nicer than me. I just unmatch, block and delete when they don't follow through, irritate me or show themselves to be incompatible. I don't see the point of arguing the toss whatsoever or giving them any opportunities to try and talk me around. Their understanding of the situation is irrelevant to me. I'm such a jerk 😋. I love it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 05:50 PM
17

I agree. My ex would waste shitloads of money (mainly MY money, too, I was breadwinner) on stupid stuff as "gifts" when what I wanted and what we NEEDED as a unit was for him to stop doing that and actually take our future seriously. We were drowning in debt and he still spent money every day buying shit we didn't need. High value looks different for everyone. I don't want gifts, I want realism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 12:30 AM
7

Well done. Thing is, however he made you feel about yourself is still in you. You don't need him, or anyone, to continue feeling that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 08:03 PM
10

Same here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 05:13 PM
10

Yeah.......no job is gonna fire you for having a profile on OLD. I wonder where that bullshit got started?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 12:17 PM
3

Ditto. Arseholes are a turn off. Enough said. Sex is supposed to be, y'know, sexy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 02:35 AM
10

Because there's nothing actually wrong with them other than being a lazy arsehole. Getting any kind of help would mean they get rumbled. Lived with a similar scenario for way too long.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 11:07 PM
31

It's probably not insecurity. Maybe she's just disgusted with him. When I found what my ex was looking at (young girls, mostly doing anal stuff) at first I thought I was insecure and needed to work on that. But, actually, I was simply totally turned off by his habits and finding out how he really saw women. He became a different person to me (really I was just seeing the reality of who he was, and that wasn't who I thought).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 12:09 PM
12

"Consensual non Consent," is dumb as fuck. Not only is it depraved and a sign of abusive tendencies, it just is fucking stupid as a phrase. It's an oxymoron. Something is either consensual or it's not. This stuff hurts my head it's so ridiculous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 12:11 AM
2

Aww.......he's your Number One Fan.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 11:55 PM
9

Then he said I sounded mad! Textbook typecasting. He was hoping you'd cave and send them to prove you weren't mad. You definitely did the right thing not meeting him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 09:14 PM
46

How did "pulling out" even regain popularity as a "birth control" measure again? When I was a teen, it was stated freaking EVERYWHERE, even in Cosmo and various other Pickmesha guides, that it totally isn't reliable. Precum often contains sperm. Anyway, where the fuck is his filth gonna go then? On your tits? No way am I ever suffering THAT indignation ever again. It belongs in the trash, in a condom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 07:12 AM
22

I too enjoy new shoes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 01:33 AM
1

Nice! 😀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 12:42 PM
3

Ha......he'd have been truly disappointed trying that with me. I wear pretty long board shorts for swimming lolol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 11:31 AM
55

Exactly what my ex husband did. Except the act lasted a couple years, until we moved in together and got married. We married months after living together, we'd been engaged for over a year. That's why I'd always suggest living together for a good while before marriage. Marriage doesn't necessarily mean anything good to men - it just means they've trapped you and now think they can do what they want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 08:39 AM
13

Indeed we are. We're women, and as such have to consider where we go, who we meet, what we wear, whether we drink etc, etc, etc, lest we be blamed for our assault. He, as a man, does not. The fact he doesn't understand that is enough reason to leave well alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/19 07:16 AM
46

It's Typecasting. They want you to respond with, "Oh no, I'm not like that, let me prove how much I'm not like that/how nothing has happened to me by doing by what you want." It's a concept heavily discussed in, "The Gift of Fear," and a great way to identify a potentially dangerous man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/19 07:11 AM
15

Soooo.....we're not allowed to use a (supposedly) legitimate service as is without getting victim blamed now?? I hate this planet. Someone should make an all female Uber. I've read about women drivers being assaulted too, so we're also not allowed to make extra money. Fuck everything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/19 12:47 PM
6

It's not choking. It's strangulation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/19 07:38 AM
2

We have found a witch. May we burn her?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/19 07:33 AM
8

Totally. She really doesn't need to be tied to this douchemoose for life!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/19 07:30 AM
10

Yep, yep. My ex blamed the fact I'm childfree for why he was pushed to find a young twink desperate to get knocked up. (I never hid my desire to remain sans children, laid it on REALLY thick before we married). But I just know he'd have been like that if I'd changed my mind. So glad I didn't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/19 07:23 AM
11

Yep. Most likely, the wife/gf will turn on you. It sucks, but most Pickmeshas will not make their shitbag husbands accountable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 10:23 PM
123

Thanks. This sub is really helping me assert what I want, and don't want. I honestly don't think he really wanted exclusivity. He just didn't like the thought of any competition. Males be insecure and want YOU locked down, while still fucking anything that moves themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 10:10 PM
22

I've literally just made a guy wait a few days, and the true colours came out. He was thirsty AF on Friday night, and honestly, the attraction was there, but I knew it would be starting things off on the wrong foot. I suggested he come along on my work's Xmas night out, initially he was all for it, then changed his mind dramatically after not even 24 hours. Couldn't even wait a week. I'm definitely seeing the benefit of FDS. Next one will be waiting much longer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 06:14 PM
8

Mine too. Except he never even used the education I paid for. He'll need further training now, and incur more expense, if he does. The new bit can fund that lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/19 12:48 PM
29

I love Gina. And Rosa. Both Queens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/19 11:42 AM
17

Dollars to donuts that douchemoose on the thread would be the first to say, "Why did you trust him?" if you'd got in the car and then been assaulted. You did the right thing. The fact the creepster called you a slur proves his intention. Glad you're OK. Continue to trust your gut, stay safe out there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/19 11:38 AM
13

They're attracted to power. Doesn't bode well for giving a shit about consent, in my experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/19 03:22 PM
19

Most, "false rape accusations," are more than likely from situations like this, where the woman was quite clearly raped but in denial, who go to the police, report it, then are gaslighted into retracting the report later. I'd bet my bottom dollar they're not false at all, except in that incredibly rare 1:1,000,000 case.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/19 03:20 PM
4

Ditto. It's a sign of serious incompatibility for me. They never leave it alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/19 05:24 PM
5

Hun, I'm 36 and was left for a 20 year old in April. Well, I left, actually, as the ex wanted to stay, "living together as friends," while he moved the side bit into our marital home and I continued paying for all the amenities he'd become accustomed to. He was a POS, totally LVM I'd honestly wanted to leave for a long time, but he always threatened to kill himself every time I brought up the fact that we were completely incompatible, and gaslighted me something chronic about how we were, "desti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/19 12:49 PM
59

It's great that guys are waking up to how detrimental porn is. Just a shame that it's gotta be about their dicks not working, rather than the exploitation, rape and trafficking angle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/19 10:34 AM
11

Good strategy. I've been planning on doing something similar when I start dating again, asking what their kinks are, suggesting I might have some, then when they tell me it's anal and other degrading bullshit, I can ghost without putting myself at risk. Finding out this stuff once you're in bed with them is not something I care to repeat. Or once you've married them. I had no idea just how depraved my ex husband was until after we'd married. Before then, he did a really good job of pretending he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 05:44 AM
2

I'm so glad to hear you had such a positive experience of reporting abuse 😀. Wish I lived in your community.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 07:46 PM
17

I dunno, I was involved in FetLife and the whole kink, "community," for a few years. FetLife, the website, supports actual rapists REALLY hard, defending them to the hilt when they're apprehended and celebrating when they pay a team of lawyers to gaslight the victims into withdrawing their accusations - even if they're underage rapes were posted on Fet in the first place!! The real life community is no better. A lot of, "missing stairs." So much talk of consent, but an insidious coercion of more…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 04:57 PM
3

That would be my answer, as well. I'm six months out of an 18 year relationship, 13 years married. I'm definitely not looking for anything serious, I'm just about ready to start dating casually, maybe get a couple of FWBs. I don't want to lock myself into anything permanent for a good long while.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/19 10:41 PM
8

Also seems like he frequently rapes her in her sleep. He's a peach, really. Excuse me while I vomit about definitely something unrelated to what I just read.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/19 01:09 AM
6

This is how I feel about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/19 02:58 PM
1

Disclaimer: I see parallels between how you're describing him and my ex husband. His parents let him dick about and we're content for him to not get his shit together. I was convinced he'd mature when we moved in together, then when we married, then when we bought a house, then when he got to thirty, etc. I constantly made excuses for him. "Oh, he was never encouraged, he just needs support, he'll come good in the end." He never, ever did. And when he realised I was sick of his shit, he found a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 11:11 PM
2

Talk is cheap. He can say whatever, but is it just to keep you there? Again, it's sounding like you could end up really, really dependant on him and his parents' money. Be careful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 07:54 PM
6

He honestly sounds like a lazy pleb who is floating on his rentals coattails. I personally wouldn't put up with that. He'll be entitled forever. Be careful you don't end up dependent on him and his parents money also.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 07:50 PM
3

Really well put.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 06:12 PM
20

Ditto. My mother is very mentally unstable, makes everyone around her responsible for her feelings and refuses to acknowledge anybody else's. She also refuses to get therapy, calls it, "nonsense," and, "psychobabble." Definitely set me up to not recognise how unhealthy my marriage was until the past couple of years. I thought his narcissist, selfish nature was normal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 06:08 PM
2

That post is freaking hilarious 😂. I agree he's fucking up on purpose.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 02:18 AM
3

Oh my God! This.......this is my marriage in a nutshell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 02:00 AM
3

Telling you you're the problem because you want a certain standard of treatment, when it's a fair thing to want. Probably not the best use of the phrase actually. Story time........I'm recently divorced. I was in a relationship for almost 20 years with somebody I should have left after a couple of years. When we were engaged and first living together, I almost called it off because I felt he wasn't overly bothered about getting married and building a life together. His response? "Just because I'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 01:50 AM
5

Yep. No amount of love will fix them. They will always blame everything on their, "depression," or, "I just don't understand emotions," or some shit. Unless they are actively working g through therapy, in which case you can be friends and let them into your life once they've proven they can be introspective.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/19 10:49 PM
4

I don't want children. Never have. I wouldn't date somebody with children, mainly because that choice indicates huge incompatibility with how I see life on the whole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/19 10:42 PM
2

This is pretty much what happened in my marriage. My ex was very reluctant to show affection, basically just wanted sex with no other intimacy. Once I'd adjusted to that, HE started withdrawing and saying that I was unreasonable to want sex when I wasn't constantly stroking his ego outside the bedroom. Then he got a girlfriend 17 years his junior who's a total Pickmesha. It's not worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/19 10:40 PM
2

Absolutely agree. It's a big incompatibility. You're not wrong for wanting or needing what you want and need. Don't let him gaslight you that it's not a reason to break up, it absolutely is. Best wishes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/19 08:15 PM
13

Yep. I personally will never continue dating any man that ever states any desire for analysis or any other fucked up kinky shit. They will never respect your no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/19 02:50 PM
13

Ditto. I'm reading everything here, every day and making sure when I do start dating again I definitely do not make the same mistakes again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/19 10:47 AM
54

Totally agree. He sounds like a manipulative asshat. Good on OP!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/19 12:07 PM
3

This is so, so true. I wasted almost 20 years of my life someone in this situation. I thought it was a, "love conquers all," situation, when, in reality, it was a totally fucked up trauma bond. Don't underestimate just how addictive that can be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/19 09:26 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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