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Ubermensch33 Archive

View 2 posts and 515 comments by Ubermensch33 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
18

Red Pill ExampleUbermensch33/r/TheRedPill30/12/15 04:07 PM
3

Ubermensch33/r/MarriedRedPill13/05/15 05:00 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

Two weeks ago, my answer would have been pretty good. No. My question was rhetorical. However at some point it's no longer help, gentle ribbing, or busting balls. It's just guys showing their ass. That's their ego, not mine. So why can't you ignore it? The answer to that question is the reason guys are doing it to you.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/22 11:08 PM
5

So you have had 6 successful weeks (or, extrapolating, maybe about 20 successful weeks overall including pre-OYS) out of how many unsuccessful ones in your life, where you've gorged yourself and had no discipline whatsoever? You're not understanding that thousands of dudes just like you have come through here saying they "get it" after a few weeks and like 0.05% of them truly last. Think about this for a second. You're fat as fuck. You come on here and tell a bunch of dudes to stop hurting your …
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/22 08:10 PM
1

Couldn't agree more on your definition of "being red." There's a lot that goes into achieving that state, starting with basic self-esteem, mental point of origin and essentially getting rid of that codependency - and what dependency you do have, is voluntarily elected with eyes open rather than a dependency from fear and lack of abundance. I know Horns has said he values depth, but I won't speak for him here.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/22 06:19 PM
2

My take is to do what you want, but with eyes open. Maybe that's only possible after a certain point in the journey, though. The red pill/sidebar tells us the truth about the world for those of us that didn't know. But it won't tell you what you should do or what you should value. There are guys here who pursue all kinds of paths, from dark triad, plate spinning with married women all the way over to blue/purple "I want a deep connection with a single person." I suspect he's calling his desire f…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/22 02:20 PM
2

I'm going after a purple-pilled life instead of a red-pilled one What does this mean, specifically?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/22 07:08 PM
3

I don't need to be reminded every week. What evidence do we have that this is the case?
/r/MarriedRedPill20/05/22 02:53 PM
2

You're on fire this week Horns. /u/OYSFFFS And was going to try and find out (in the least weird way possible) when I see him this weekend. I don't know why this struck me OP. But this guy is your friend and you seem to be pretty close. Let me guess. Your plan was to do something like start talking about it yourself...or talk about some extreme example of someone else jerking off 10x/day in the hopes that he offered up the information on his own, without you asking. If this sounds about right, a…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/05/22 04:47 PM
3

I know that meditating is supposed to be for quieting your mind and finding calm... Sure. Here's a connection.... Those emotions controlling you that we talked about before...by practicing meditation, it should very much help with that instant just following the arising of an emotion. To be able to create that brief moment of space between the emotion and you acting on it (or ruminating on it) is a big deal. 100% of guys with frame have this ability. In fact, it might BE frame. Anyway... Once yo…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/22 06:35 PM
1

I am not quite sure what the "Daddy vibe" actually is We all probably mean something a little different by it, but just as a starting point...how would you have approached that conversation had it been your 13 year old daughter?
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/22 12:46 AM
2

Is it possible that these emotions are subtly causing distrust from your woman? Shiiiiiiiit man. Thanks for pointing that out to me. To be clear, some guys would take that as "be less emotional" or "emotional robot." I don't think that's it, unless you're still on STFU. I think it's more that the unpredictable swings might cause uneasiness in your woman. Have the emotions but own them, clearly and reliably, without dumping them on her/people. Just takes time and experience to consistently create…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/22 11:51 PM
3

I don't know why everyone is downvoting you in the comments (well, I do). I found "action" items, given one is not looking for a direct cheat code: I realized life was not doing anything to me. I was doing it to me. At some point, after 6 or 7 months, I realized that I had to take a decision to separate them. First address one, then the other. Why is it important to know what ACTIONS he took to come to these realizations? What would be the physical ACTIONS one would take to change a mental model…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/22 06:52 PM
2

You always have a lot of good stuff to say and I feel like you're on the cusp of really coming into yourself, but man, I am getting major red flags still with respect to the fact that you seem like an emotional basket case. You have owned that when I've questioned it, so kudos to you for being open and honest in this space, but I'm just sharing what I'm seeing. Maybe Horns is the best guy for you to be going back and forth with. I remember getting a similar feeling from some of his OYSes. You gu…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/22 04:50 PM
2

I think you were wise to approach it that way. Obviously the execution was off. People/women mostly just want to be heard and taken into consideration. A lot of times, just listening and leaving it open works for me. Then come back another time with your decision, if it's the kind of situation where a decision needs to be made soon - if not, then really, nothing needs to be resolved. The point is to hear the other person. This idea that nothing needs to be resolved is really difficult for recove…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/22 03:28 PM
1

Silent Treatment. Got a multi-day silent treatment. First couple days I just ignored and did my thing. One the third day, I fucked up. I felt sympathetic and I felt like my wife needed my help navigating what she was going through. I'm curious why you think you fucked up - in execution, congruence, or just in general?
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/22 04:57 PM
1

This is incredible. Nice work man. One thing I've been curious about, and I think there are 1-2 studies supporting this, but what do you think about cardio's effect on growth hormone/building muscle? Have you had any personal experience with before/after results or know of any literature? It's pretty clear that elite athletes (and most elite looking athletes) do a good amount of cardio and it doesn't hurt their physique, but just curious about your experience here. (and maybe I missed it in the …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/22 02:40 PM
1

Let's clarify one thing: there's a big difference in being over 20% body fat and being "ripped" which is like 10-12%. Getting down to 15% isn't that much additional effort from where you are. Once there, you'll likely want to go a couple % lower. So what we're really talking about here is getting from 20% to 15%. If you're asking me, that's the goal. I don't know that I agree with all of your psychoanalysis, or, at least I don't agree that it's important. Forgetting about what your bad choices m…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/22 08:20 PM
1

In November 2020, you were 196 lbs, now 1.5 years later you are 183lbs and still above 20% body fat. What is going on there? These 2 things may be related: but I ate like shit and drank too much to lose weight. This was a good lesson to be prepared for anything. In the future, will be more mentally prepared.....Why did it take this input from others for me to accept the situation and believe that I had done a good job and been well prepared?
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/22 04:15 PM
1

because I have a limited amount of energy each day, which gets depleted especially fast with social interactions. So do I. You might be further on this spectrum than most, but it's a very common trait of "introverts" and it's a very common trait of people who are obsessed with how they appear to others. So what, you get bigger and get more sex or attention from women who want you for your body. Who gives a shit about that? If you are a lifelong codependent career beta, nothing will matter unless…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/22 02:16 PM
5

I don't know that you "have autism" man. You have developed a set of habits that greatly prioritize comfort over fear/courage. My main hobby is video games. It’s my special interest, I can’t help it. Fuck off, of course you can help it. Don’t have the mental energy to add another layer of social interactions to my daily life Fuck off, of course you could go to the gym. I am a homebody and whatever I can do at home, I prefer it that way, cut off from society. I now know this, my wife knows this, …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/22 02:34 PM
2

Beautiful post
/r/askMRP12/04/22 10:50 PM
5

I'm not trying to be a wet blanket, I'm loving your energy. I have just seen too many guys (usually newer than you) get the highest of high when something starts working out only to realize it was still just a massive covert contract, and when things start settling in or not going their way, as they inevitably do, those external forces crush them. I don't see that in you, but I'm mentioning it as something to consider along the way. Energy is great. The resilience of our energy in the face of wh…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/22 08:51 PM
2

Lots of good notes in here. Some observations - a common theme I seem to see from you is sort of a wild swinging around. Maybe it's from your "lack of patience" you described last week? Everything seems to happen really quickly for you in all directions. I think it was just last week when you were talking about your wife agreeing to terms, unexpectedly. So in 7 days you went there, somehow "almost nuked it," to "The first night was incredible. And then the next day was like...I've haven't felt a…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/22 07:13 PM
2

If I had sex, I wouldn’t be happy because the next day This is the interesting part, to me, and has been my experience. Logically, you'd think you'd be happy if you got what you wanted, right? Essentially what's happening though is we're choosing to be angry/resentful no matter what. There is something we think we're getting from this addiction, even if it's clearly harmful. I could speculate, but that's another post. So I think one of the things you did that you didn't explicitly say is that yo…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/04/22 06:26 PM
23

I see. Maybe instead of jerking off to and commenting on porn like a simp for 4 hours a day you could use that time in another way?
/r/askMRP07/04/22 08:15 PM
17

Damn so you'd get in trouble wouldn't you?
/r/askMRP07/04/22 08:10 PM
2

The lifts also seem fake, given the perfectly round numbers (1 plate, 2 plates, 2 plates and a quarter). They fake, OP?
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/22 07:09 PM
2

Truthfully, for 90% of what I was aiming to do with it the stay play is the go plan, and I don't necessarily need a formal contract to do what I'm trying to do here. Given this, do you think the idea of the contract gives you some form of assurance? I.e. is it a form of protecting yourself from hurt/rejection, etc...?
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/22 05:02 PM
1

I love this reply. Let the anger flow. Seriously. Maybe then you can move on.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/22 04:44 PM
1

I get it. We seem to be arguing semantics at this point. I've found this useful as well. Last thing I'll say is your river/resources analogy seems like being more of a leech than anything else. But I think I understand what you're trying to say, and I don't think either one of us are at the extremes we're painting the other.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/22 02:57 AM
1

I think it's the natural result of fully embracing the fact that you don't control other people. When you come to that conclusion, living life with transactions and expectations becomes illogical. I enjoy them as long as I find them enjoyable and then I go. Your expectation is: in order for you to spend your time with them, someone is enjoyable to you. If you leave, and they ask you why, your answer is "because you are not giving me/providing me/being what I need." You can choose to dress that u…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/22 09:31 PM
1

I hear you. I think we are saying similar things, but I'm trying to not use platitudes, as I really don't know what this means when the rubber meets the road: Living your life without thinking about giving and getting is living in abundance. Giving to the world is just a byproduct of existing. Don't get me wrong, I love the prize mentality, but...are you existing in a void? When someone does something nice for you, do you perceive it as something different than "getting?" If you are the only one…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/22 07:05 PM
1

But take an artist or a creative for example... anyone like that. The act of creating something and putting it out there is giving to the world. I guess I don't know what you mean by "giving to the world." Are you saying the artist isn't benefiting? People are self-centered. That's fine. People have expectations for their efforts, and that's fine too. Why are we trying to dress it up? Where I make the distinction isn't in whether the gift is without strings, but what a guy does when his action i…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/22 03:42 PM
5

I agree, post a pic /u/thekingwithin2001 (is that your birth year? that would explain a lot) if you want to be taken seriously. Let's have a look at ya.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/03/22 03:02 PM
1

I can't find much to argue with in your answer. It doesn't feel as if it's coming from a place of fear anymore, which is good. One thing is that from one of your earlier answers, it seems like you're intentionally putting yourself in a double-bind to where you won't have to make a decision ("well, I think this situation sucks, but can I really even trust my own judgment?"). That's bullshit, and an excuse. Sometimes the most important thing is to just make a decision, regardless of what it is. Us…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/22 06:04 PM
2

You strike me as the "Nice Guys are bad enders" kind of guy. Maybe go back and re-read those sections to see what you think. Have you questioned the assumption that two people staying in a loveless marriage is better for your kids? Or even that two people in a "meh" marriage is better for your kids? Have you questioned the assumption that it's better for your kids for their dad to sacrifice himself to the point where he's a shell? This is obviously your choice, and I don't know a ton about your …
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/22 02:05 PM
1

I'm with Dunlop, here. Yes, you probably did and are still doing a lot of shit wrong. That doesn't necessarily mean you shouldn't cut the cord. Honest question: what are you afraid of?
/r/MarriedRedPill23/03/22 07:54 PM
3

I was agreeing with you I can give it out to others and they will appreciate the effort' The goal of the contributors here, myself included, is not to "give freely," but to give in exchange for something - whether they admit that explicitly, as I do (overt contract) or not (covert contract), it's true as far as I can see. I think you've written a post about this, too.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/22 05:33 PM
1

Of course, it's still an exchange. Why are we calling it something different? Why is an exchange "not OK?" The only answer I can come up with is "ego," which is what we were trying to avoid in the first place by "giving freely."
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/22 05:08 PM
2

give from a place of abundance, and do so freely I know people have started to love this phrase here, but can someone explain exactly what they think it means? I understand the logic of getting away from "giving to get" 100% of the time, and getting away from your actions being incredibly needy - is this all we're saying, but just kind of overstating it in a click-bait-y way?
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/22 04:28 PM
1

All this is me trying to replace the goal of being a great father with the goal of being a great man. I don't have any clue what this actually means. Do you? It's OK if the answer is "no." But platitudes probably won't do you much good. And at worst, it's just another giant covert contract of "if I'm a good man then I'll be rewarded with the things I want" and/or "people will see how Good of a Man I am and I'll get the validation I deserve." I understand the distinction you're making between hav…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/03/22 07:36 PM
1

Point is - most guys who come here are out of control with their lives, so learned helplessness has them thinking they're not in control of the outcomes. Truth is, men are actually pretty good at controlling the path to suitable outcomes through the use of boundaries, which naturally leads to a desired outcome. They just have to accept they're the only one who can do it. Boundaries and energy, I agree. The latter is/was a better focus for me, since as a former somewhat angry/resentful Nice Guy (…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/22 01:46 AM
25

This reads like an MRP AI-generated post.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/22 12:58 AM
1

Let's say there's the emotion, then the behavior. You can't really control the emotions that pop up. I do think something like anger dissipates over time as you realize its toxicity, but I don't think you can ever expect to never feel anger for a moment. So given that, I agree with you that controlling behavior is a better mental model. Decide what you want, and do it regardless of how you feel. But of course that is REALLY hard to do when the emotions are intense. You have to be able to create …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/22 09:16 PM
2

This whole thing is about your wife.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/22 03:48 PM
5

The biggest turn in my journey came at this point for the most part they feed off your sexual energy The larger concept is: nobody is going to make shit happen for you. We get into this mindset of "it's not fair, she/he should be adding value in this way, or doing this for me. I want genuine desire!" Nobody else is going to bring the energy. YOU bring the energy. Over and over and over. Even if it's not always reciprocated.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/22 02:46 PM
1

There's a needle to thread. I don't think most recovering Nice Guys are in a position to "control" their emotions until they fully accept them, accept who they are, and understand that it's OK to express emotions. Paradoxically, you gain control when you let go. If you're already here, then my comment may have been off base. But I don't see that. I see a dude that, like most, is angry, a perfectionist, and unable to deal with stress (which is very likely contributing to that nagging injury). I t…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/22 11:33 PM
1

I think that's an invincible mental state. Have you read NMMNG?
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/22 05:57 PM
2

Anyone here who has had that problem with OHP causing neck pain, I’ll take any extra advice I can get. I always recommend this book for several reasons. After you read/listen, you'll see how it relates to many things beyond your pain. https://i.ibb.co/VSb9HVd/control.png "Nice Guys are controlling. A major priority for Nice Guys is keeping their world smooth. This creates a constant need to try to control the people and things around them." Look over the following list of ways Nice Guys try to c…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/22 03:25 PM
1

A lot to be said for taking risks and trying new things. Also a lot to be said for not letting other people define what is "cool" and what you should be passionate about.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/22 10:17 PM
3

So then what about: she's waiting for you to re-sign the lease before branching to a co-worker
/r/askMRP02/03/22 10:24 PM
1

It's all a choice, dude. In every moment you make a choice. Stop making those choices. I know you're gonna think that's overly simplistic, and your issues are different, but they're not. It's a choice. You're not different. Say it to yourself 100x.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/22 01:13 AM
2

I sensed that I might be expecting something in return for the vday card, flowers, and dinner. So I made sure not to initiate that evening since I would have most likely been butthurt if rejected. I think this is a bullshit attitude. You wanted to have sex, so initiate. How are you going to work on your reaction to rejection if you just avoid rejection? It's a separate issue on how to initiate without it being tied to giving her something.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/22 08:04 PM
2

Give this a read. Changed my life. https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Back-Pain-Mind-Body-Connection/dp/0446557684
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/22 11:05 PM
7

My guess is you've spent hours upon hours thinking about how you should take this, and how to interpret it. It's a process. There has to be a transition from you as a dude that's making demands, and putting pressure on her to have sex with you all the time, to a guy that is less angry and more outcome independent, i.e., more attractive. I know you think you did that, and maybe you did, relative to your old self. But I still sense a lot of negotiation. A lot of stiffness. A lot of logic. And a lo…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/22 10:50 PM
9

There aren't many displays of lower value than being in a LDR, outside of some specific circumstances. Why are you in one?
/r/askMRP15/02/22 06:23 PM
1

I think we're in agreement. To be clear, my reply wasn't necessarily a counter, even though I started it with "but." And if we instilled a guidepost to steer that child through that universal feeling, wouldn't that multiplicatively benefit every time he faced that in the future? Look, I'm not saying the advice of "just act" is all we need, any more than someone would go wildly in the other direction and say you needed to do a 5 year monk mode to get your mind right before going into the world. I…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/22 03:42 PM
1

You're doing the same thing as me here. That thing hes doing isnt action (riding the bike). Its choosing to ride the bike :) But the advice IS to do something even though you are currently unable to understand all of the pros/cons and logic to doing said thing. The entire value in this case is doing something that makes you uncomfortable, and the discomfort itself comes from not being able to fully "logic out" the action in your head. You're right that "pure action" doesn't exist - someone has t…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/22 12:00 AM
6

Our hero is starting to get a better job, making more money, but his wife still is checked out even though he says that she's done a complete 180. We get into the existential questions here - "Is her emotional/physical affair forgivable?" "Should he stay with her after the cheating?" "Will our hero get a gym membership or continue to LARP?" "Will the vidya games continue to eat away at our hero's SMV?" This is hilarious.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/22 06:15 PM
1

When then do we know if what we need to do is act or think? If you believe you need to be somewhere other than where you are right now, you need to act. If you instead feel you're in the right place but simply need a better frame to view it, you need to think. Those two ideas are true and seem to be mutually exclusive except that often unwillingness to act is the result of having a mindset that is not driven to act. Changing the mindset allows action. Likewise unwillingness to think is often the…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/22 05:56 PM
1

Uber Your comments about being emotionally stunted cut close. In a good way. And reinforces a view I've had for a long time that one of the biggest hold-ups guys who level-up here (or not) is in direct proportion to how much work they do to orient and learn to dance with their own emotions so that they can navigate a playing field with a partner who has home field advantage. Well said. And don't feel bad. I recently had the experience of being around someone who is truly emotionally unintelligen…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/01/22 09:28 PM
2

I love you Blarg, but I have no fucking idea what you're talking about for 90% of this. I feel like we need to be in person or on a zoom call for me to grasp your brain. You do summarize nicely, and I think at the end you're spot on. It's a flow. Or a pendulum as you call it. Most of us here arrive here with a pendulum that doesn't have full range of motion. It needs to be expanded, by over-correcting to the action side. Where all this fits in: OYS kinda reeks of overthinking and overphilosophiz…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/01/22 09:22 PM
2

The simplest way I can put my opinion is it's far more wasteful to think too much and do too little, than to think too little and do too much. What's the optimal ratio? You have to fuck up to find out, which is more action. It always comes back to taking a risk. Taking a risk is, by (my) definition, an action that isn't fully considered; an action where the results can't be fully known. I can't really think of a time in my life where I did something I really regretted doing. Where afterward I sa…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/01/22 07:07 PM
6

This week: Join local gym Finish home office setup Deal with a backlog of returns organize new tools Install lighting upgrades to house Schedule low voltage wiring install Those are chores, bro. I'm glad you're doing something instead of staring at a wall but we're talking about how to grow, become more attractive, get better, and/or be happier. That requires goals. The plan you create to achieve those goals will require action in implementation. That's the point. When you're on the path to goin…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/01/22 05:13 PM
3

Hey look, a masturbatory post about mental masturbation. This is not that hard, dude. Give me 5 things you want to get better at, or things you want to try. Here's an example for me: Add 50 pounds to my big 3 total Run a 1.5mile in 9 minutes Lower my golf handicap from ~17 to sub 14 Improve my presentation/speaking skills Go on 4 trips this year, solo There are concrete steps for each of those things. None of them require me to have anything "figured out" as far as my grand unifying theory of li…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/01/22 03:49 PM
2

Confused by this reply. I didn't say or imply that Buddhism doesn't require action or that it encourages navel gazing. I implied the opposite. In any event, this isn't about Buddhism per se. What's important in the giving is the intent. What am I giving to someone? Am I getting something out of giving that? Am I giving for some self-congratulatory or self-aggrandizing purpose? I don't know that a guy can live a life full of unconditional giving. Nice mental model for us to have, since we wind up…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/12/21 04:00 PM
1

Eh, just chose a different point to address. Point taken, though.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/12/21 04:38 PM
2

And then about "A Man gifts!" just be fucking careful you don't revert to plowhorsing for someone new, just having changed the furrow, as it does for many. I was hoping someone would pull on this, because I think some guys might take Horns too literally (and maybe he does mean it literally, so he can explain if so). Obviously, we need boundaries and having expectations of people is necessary, which means we're not truly giving gifts without strings. But the point is to make your way in that dire…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/12/21 09:35 PM
3

I think it does overlap with some points of Buddhism, but in a different way. We're here because of the red pill viewpoint. Buddhism has a massive red pill: Duḥkha is an important concept in Hinduism and Buddhism, commonly translated as "suffering", "unhappiness", "pain", "unsatisfactoriness" or "stress". It refers to the fundamental unsatisfactoriness and painfulness of mundane life. It is the first of the Four Noble Truths /u/HornsOfApathy is hitting on that, in a way. You're never going to ge…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/12/21 04:10 PM
5

The goal should never be to save the marriage. It’s to become a congruent man. Bingo. Another red pill? You may have maxed out your potential, and a bunch of people still won't like you. You may have maxed out your potential and still be pretty ugly. Maybe you're short. Maybe your genetics suck. You're never going to be Rob Gronkowski, and naturally own a room the second you walk into it, and naturally evoke dread in females just by existing in their life. This is life, and instead of trying to …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/21 07:59 PM
7

I feel an incredible sense of freedom in having realized this. It's like a bar of a prison cell just snapped in half. And what changed about my situation, between the moment before and the moment after this realization? Nothing. Not a god damned thing. Then why do I feel so different? Because my external circumstances were not what was causing me to feel a lack of freedom. It was the beliefs in my own mind that kept me feeling trapped. I created my own prison and I robbed myself of my own freedo…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/21 03:17 PM
1

But this is where things get really complicated. There is a baseline of social awareness & competency that we all need and I am learning. but for me it's really easy to overshoot that and end up in a place where I'm not just stepping outside of my autistic anti-social roots & exercising basic social competence, but I'm becoming someone I don't want to be (going into dancing monkey). so it looks to me like I need to build & exercise social competency for a long time to build a baseline of trust i…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/12/21 09:16 PM
10

because what I believe determines how I behave. So I want to get what I believe sorted out Round and round you go... What if you reversed those 2 sentences from time to time? Might see some gainz. my autistic ass Putting it lightly, brother. You aren't gonna find some grand answer. After a point, the navel gazing just doesn't help.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/12/21 05:25 PM
3

What's the point of the autism section? It sure sounds like you're talking about something happening to you or a "disease" you "have." You have strengths and weaknesses, fine. Does it help to label it/externalize it to such an extent?
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/21 04:02 PM
5

my wife told me to come to bed I felt a sexual confidence I never felt before I wouldn't overanalyze this too much, as the result is good and something that you want (her desire), and it's natural for that to make a guy feel good. But consider that the above two sentences are related. What's stopping you from having that confidence all the time? What if she doesn't initiate? Will your self-esteem still be there? There are times where you know that you're more in the mood than she is. A lot of gu…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/21 04:05 PM
2

I have a covert contract but it's more of a she did it back then --> so I should be able to unlock it IF I can get to whatever level of attractiveness is required. How will you feel about yourself if you never unlock it?
/r/MarriedRedPill09/12/21 05:38 PM
1

I want to replace that thought with, it's ok if I fail, for I will keep growing and learning and improving until I reach my goals and truly love myself. So do it. Thoughts are just thoughts. You can think differently immediately.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/12/21 03:51 PM
1

You have a belief that if you think positively, you'll just sit around all day and do nothing. Have you verified this? The negativity works for a while. But it also permeates the rest of your life.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/21 04:07 PM
2

"Shotgunning mental models" is great. I gotta steal that one. I think he needs to go to an EDM show with you and be slipped some "meds." I owe you a reply. I've been working on organizing my thoughts, which in and of itself has been helpful.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/21 03:30 PM
2

Afraid that if I pull the plug, I won't be able to complete my journey to a HVM. Dude step back and just fucking live your life. This is at least the 2nd time in this thread you've talked about "completing" a journey. HVM isn't the end boss of a video game. You need to get on some woo-woo shit. Mindfulness. Gratitude. Go to a fucking energy healer or something. You choose whether or not to be happy, and you're choosing to be the way you are. Do anything to get out of this autistic notion of a st…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/21 03:28 PM
1

Am I being a faggot for being upset about something I already deep down knew You're not being a bitch for being upset about it. You're being a bitch for wallowing and not having the balls, or self-respect, to enforce boundaries. This is a fucking mess, bro. I haven't followed your story but based solely on the above: she is cheating on you physically, emotionally, and is being overt in telling you she doesn't love you. Where is your self-respect?
/r/MarriedRedPill01/12/21 03:57 PM
3

A woman can’t buy commitment, safety and security a man gives, a portion of my 401k, not being along after they are 40, etc. "Commitment" doesn't mean shit if you're low/medium value. Women can absolutely "buy" safety and security. They can work for a living these days. They have an app for every job around the house. What exactly is a regular dude giving his woman/wife that is irreplaceable? You are absolutely replaceable if you're not high value or bringing something really unique to the table…
/r/TheRedPill24/11/21 08:38 PM
1

Back and forth between what? I think at your size with your lifts, you're probably well above 20%. But even if not, around 12-13% is the sweet spot for aesthetics without killing yourself dieting. I think fluctuations between 12-16% or so are where most guys should be if they're being honest about their goals (to look good and lift well). You can choose to look however you want of course, just make sure you're not justifying a lack of discipline in the kitchen because "you're a powerlifter" or s…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/21 06:55 PM
7

5’9 ft, 200lbs Well below the 1,000lb club at 5'9 200lbs....I think you might be fat, OP. A dirty bulk is probably a bad idea. Lots of things may improve for you when you get down to <15% bodyfat. I'd do that prior to trying to aggressively raise my lifts. Two weeks ago I began active low level dread. After getting excuses of “I’m too tired/but the kids are home” I began limiting affection and withdrawing attention. Cuddles ain’t free. The effects were immediate with her anxiety peaking within a…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/21 06:30 PM
1

I think I know what you're saying. On one hand, it's nice to believe you could be anything if you simply tried (Arnold), on the other, you're probably bullshitting yourself due to a lack of willpower, like you say. I mean, this is better than hating yourself. Some irrational confidence isn't so bad. My point was mainly that pushing up against your edge doesn't have to just entail being better at something than you previously were (that's what I called narrow, but ambitious). It could be somethin…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/21 01:55 AM
2

You said it rubbed you the wrong way. Why is this rubbing so much now? It's not. I communicated what I had to communicate. First vaguely so that you could explore/interpret, then specifically because you and Blarg were getting into deeper waters (which I enjoy) over my comment. That's it. No reason to belabor my points.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/21 09:08 PM
2

I'll be a bit more direct, too. It may seem like I'm nitpicking, but I think that's the value. You don't need to be advised on the basics. The information that you can make your wife's legs shake is irrelevant in the context of this OYS (and even more so in the context of that paragraph, which was about self-improvement). Why did you include it? The admission that your gifts are not unique, or even distinctive, is irrelevant in the context of this OYS. Why did you include it? The insight of you …
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/21 07:55 PM
4

I think your entire answer is in other people's frame. There are a select few humans that REALLY have the drive to be the best in a field (by definition). You're defining pushing your limits by how other people rank you. If you really are that person, and that drives you, great. Go get it. Pushing just beyond your edge could be anything. Your answer is ambitious, but narrow, and frankly sounds like a goal you think you should be pursuing rather than something that really speaks to you. Is there …
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/21 05:08 AM
3

I think when a man has a hard time finding a mission, it's because he's in denial about what he truly wants/enjoys. It's not that he doesn't know. It's that he's scared of how it will make him look (whether he succeeds, or fails). What kinds of things do you think comprise living on your edge, at this point?
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/21 01:17 AM
7

Something rubs me the wrong way about this post. Talking shit about yourself while including humblebrag caveats so that everyone reading knows you're not that bad! Definitely not some loser MRP noob! And, then caveating your gifts so that people know you don't think you're special (but you are kinda special, but not really, you're just the perfect amount of special). It feels like you're still apologizing for something, or hedging something. Some of this feels staged. Or maybe I'm just in a mood…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/21 12:47 AM
7

Every man that comes on here and says he's doing/not doing x,y and z because of "the kids" is signalling fear. I understand that the bond, and dynamics, with children is different, but I don't see much difference between doing it "for them" and doing it "for her." It's a socially approved, sometimes thought magnanimous, "sacrifice." Round here we call that a Nice Guy. Anyone in your life - including, and especially, your son - will be strongest as a result of your authenticity and courage. Not b…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/11/21 07:27 PM
3

This sub is full of men who understand the exact situation. I mean exact. Assuming they don't is usually a rationalization to ignore them.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/21 06:40 PM
2

If that's true, which I doubt, you're saying you think it's a good idea to sacrifice your own happiness so that your kids can have two parents (that hate each other) that don't split time. Or, you're saying that your kids are what bring you happiness and losing half that time would devastate you. I think either scenario is unhealthy.
/r/askMRP14/11/21 08:45 PM
1

Of being alone
/r/askMRP13/11/21 09:33 PM
1

Wrong. You're scared
/r/askMRP13/11/21 09:05 PM
2

This is like a 7 year old asking how to become POTUS next year and you telling him how to write a speech. He is so damn far from being able to pull off this dynamic. Everything's on the sidebar but nobody wants to do the work. That's the point. That's why dudes that have been here a while just snark. "Lift, sidebar, STFU" can only be said so many times.
/r/askMRP13/11/21 03:57 PM
1

Make more of a difference in what way? In every way. Attractiveness, confidence. Reaching a goal. Check out Bigger, Leaner, Stronger. In general, keto isn't going to cause weight loss unless you're in a caloric deficit. The calories are the thing. It's very straightforward. Log everything. Use Myfitnesspal. Put the autism to good use.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/21 03:38 PM
3

Getting to ~14% body fat will make more of a difference for you than anything else. Your lifts will be fine. 5 weeks of no progress there is shitty. What happened?
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/21 02:47 AM
3

Dude, shut the fuck up...to yourself. All this is mental gymnastics you choose in order to stay in the same place. Choose self-esteem, or don't. Stop trying to make it some grandiose thing. All your fancy labels and philosophizing don't mean shit. They're hurting you and your progress. Good luck with the next couple weeks.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/11/21 06:28 PM
2

Why would a man even write this. Like...I get it's probably going on in his head, but to take the time to write out that vomit, look at it, and say "yeah that'll make a good OYS" I just dont get. LMAO I know why. His anxiety is sky high. He's in fight or flight and wants a life preserver thrown to him by someone here. His identity has been utterly fucking broken. You know what, though, I'd rather read an honest OYS like that instead of something fake. You thought him better than this because he'…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/11/21 06:12 PM
1

You're right. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/10/21 04:35 PM
1

Which version are you listening to? The Audible one is Deida narrating.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/10/21 02:42 AM
1

The STD isn't your concern, it's that she chose someone else
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/21 02:24 PM
2

Couple more just to give us a clear view - how many girls/women have you fucked? Is this your first relationship? But for some reason everything just feels natural, I'm happier and better with her. I wouldn't say because of her, but all the responsibilities that came from being with her, dealing with her shit, living with her, helped me develop a sense of direction and purpose. I started to control my life, to set objectives. I started to think "Where do i want to go?". And she follows me. When …
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/21 06:06 PM
3

Answering to u/Ubermensch33, I want(ed) the kid and I want the relationship, I’m a way better person now, all the challenges I had to overcome made me who I am, I almost can’t recognize the absolute child I was before being with her. I like her as a person, she’s the kindest woman I know and while I could leave her with absolutely no repercussions to my life (I have zero assets, I could move alone and basically start over), I don’t want to. So you're telling me that at 21 years of age, not even …
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/21 03:28 PM
2

Nerd
/r/MarriedRedPill14/10/21 07:23 PM
4

At 21 years old, is it a pregnancy you wanted? Is the relationship what you want(ed)? I'm not implying anything with my questions, but it seems like you're just a passive player in all this. If the answer to either of those is "no," start by owning your shit there.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/10/21 02:26 AM
1

What purpose would this serve?
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/21 02:21 PM
1

I'm curious for some background here. How'd you get with/stay with/impregnate a woman 17 years your senior? What's her SMV like compared to yours?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/10/21 08:27 PM
1

I'm glad OP is doing better but will get no attaboys from me for being an addict and then overcoming it. Cool. Congrats. Welcome to being an adult, OP.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/10/21 07:04 PM
2

Good luck dude. I know you had a thing with approaches for a while. Are you actually gaming new chicks now with intent?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/10/21 02:47 PM
2

I always come back to the idea that if I just let go of the standards that I hold myself to (I think letting go would be required to accept myself?) then how would anything ever get done? I think you're creating a false dichotomy, the purpose of which is anyone's guess, but a good bet is always "so that you can stay in your current, comfortable mindset and not take any scary action." The number one point I'd make is that people like us are in no danger of letting things slip, or getting too lax.…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/10/21 03:32 PM
11

Congrats, bro. Don't pull out for a few months and lock that shit down.
/r/askMRP09/10/21 03:53 AM
1

I told my wife about the job I took at the work city. Her reaction was a dismissal, saying it must be a shady company that would even hire me. LMAO
/r/MarriedRedPill07/10/21 03:44 PM
1

I am with you, lucky. And it's not that Blarg is wrong, it's that there aren't that many people who pull off the deep thinker and deep do-er. There just isn't time. If Blarg can do it, and I think he can, more power to him. I can't. I get stuck. The above exchange notwithstanding, over-philosophizing stopped being useful for me years ago.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/21 02:52 PM
2

Originally we were talking about the value of thinking vs. doing, in a sense. And I claimed that certain things can only be progressed by doing. I don't think you really disagree with that. What I gather you're saying is that there are portable structures you can apply to a problem whether it's adding, or public speaking, and those things remain very similar, person to person. If I have you right, I agree with you there. I think a point I was making (bringing it back to MRP, and squaring the add…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/21 02:35 AM
6

Well, what you're doing now isn't working for you. So would you prefer to keep sucking? The answer here is actually "yes." Even if they say the opposite. Good post.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/21 12:46 AM
2

Yeah, I think a person can't really internalize what adding actually is until they do the red pencils and blue pencils. Although, a person can easily visualize this in their mind, so it's perhaps not the best example for MY point. Most things in life aren't as simple. Certain things are only learned by experience or concret-izing. You can tell me all day long how to give a speech in front of 1,000 people: Conceptually, how to control my breathing and my emotions. But 100 hours of that learning d…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/21 08:30 PM
2

just her shit, don't care Yeah, I mean, it's either just her shit (which doesn't mean you don't have to care btw) and/or she's directly testing you. Internally, she got you bro. It happens. They're good at it.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/21 08:17 PM
2

Yeah dude. I personally don't think it's possible to not FITYMI, as the only real way to learn/change is to have the courage to do things you haven't done and are unsure about. Maybe we're just getting into semantics here. I guess there is a "shitty" FITYMI - things like acting like you're wealthy if you're not, telling a girl lies about yourself, etc...but I think we're talking about something different. My point is I don't think those lessons are really learned, otherwise. The mind has limits …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/21 05:50 PM
5

If you're pretty sure you've satisfied being attractive and not being unattractive, I think you can calibrate a little differently. Think about somewhere you know you're competent. At work, if someone has an emotional outburst and takes it out on you, gets really anxious about something that involves you, etc...what's your reaction? If you're somewhat emotionally intelligent, you understand that person's reaction is likely not about you - not an indictment of you - it's about them. The thing I n…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/21 05:29 PM
5

Basically, I should be able to be happy in any situation My interpretation is simpler. You want to be hard on yourself = self-esteem is low. Instead of accepting every circumstance or no circumstance, why not accept yourself and however you choose to act? That's being happy in every circumstance. Not just zoning out. Doesn't mean you won't fuck up.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/21 03:16 PM
3

I think "kill the ego" by exposure is way more effective than killing it by e.g. meditating. Kill the ego, in MRP context, means letting go of your bullshit attachments to your way of thinking. And that usually includes the thought: I can solve this thing if I just ruminate on it long enough. Exposure is an active process of destruction-->creation. Doing everything in one's head just kind of builds on what's already there. It's safe. Which is why most people choose it. And guys who wind up here …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/21 03:01 PM
1

If you feel that she legitimately has issues and you've maxed out your own shit, listen to IATP below and push her to go individually (or, perhaps you guide her through it yourself, but I don't think you have that frame at this point). Pushing for couples therapy as a covert way to get her diagnosed is fucking terrible. Nobody here can tell you the exact point at which you're "allowed" to divorce her and not feel bad about it. If you do feel guilty about it, you probably got some shit to own, br…
/r/askMRP04/10/21 08:21 PM
1

I think I asked you last week about your depression. How you frame this is of the utmost importance. Your life is depressing because you need to make changes and aren't living in a way you can feel confident about. Ultimately, you chose all of it. The mental models, the actions. All of it. That's good news, because you can choose differently now.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/09/21 04:30 PM
1

Then your best bet is just a lean bulk. Slow and steady, small caloric surplus. There are no shortcuts. You will gain muscle (and fat) at a slower rate. It's up to you to decide how much fat is worth it. A nice rule of thumb I've seen multiple places is to oscillate between 10-15% bodyfat, but again, up to you. Your stats don't add up because for you to actually be 11% bodyfat at 5'8 167, you'd have to have some muscle. Given you only squat 120 (where are the rest of your lifts?), seems off.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/09/21 03:18 PM
2

167lbs, 11% BF, 5'8". Squat is at 120lbs. Something doesn't add up. I am starting a two-week bulk to build muscle followed by a one-week cut. I think you have a lot to learn here. This isn't going to do anything. Get the book Bigger, Leaner, Stronger and/or check out Renaissance Periodization on youtube.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/09/21 02:43 PM
1

She's just not attracted to you. But you already know this. It's not about the dishes Every unhappy wife is a rape victim There's a reason that, when she threatens you with "investigate your issues or move out" your response - externally, or even just internally - isn't "look, if you're at the point of threatening me, you're right, this isn't going to work." That reason is either that you've been a total shithead who actually does have issues, or, you aren't actually willing to kill the puppy. P…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/21 01:13 AM
3

I'm having some nice guy thoughts run through my head, 'oh, how nice am I, she's going to really appreciate this, and I'm happy to do it because of how great she fucked me yesterday'. Everyone feels happier about doing shared responsibility tasks when things are going well. You may be overthinking this. I don't know that we ever completely get rid of a small part of ourselves doing things hoping others notice and validate us - just a little bit. Most of us start out so far on the other end of th…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/21 12:36 AM
1

It's been a while, but you're right. I had forgotten he used that term.
/r/askMRP28/09/21 06:39 PM
10

The fuck is a "safe person?" My rate is $1,000/hour. Let me know if interested.
/r/askMRP28/09/21 02:35 PM
1

How's everything working out?
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/21 10:51 PM
2

Why are you depressed?
/r/MarriedRedPill21/09/21 05:27 PM
2

So focus on frame should lessen once frame improves. Got it.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/09/21 04:03 PM
5

Fast forward about five years and I start getting pressed that the window on a baby is closing. I'm down with the idea so we go for it. I was almost immediate that she was pregnant. Don't really care to read 8 paragraphs about your wife, but are you sure the kid is yours?
/r/MarriedRedPill21/09/21 03:05 PM
1

I think you know all this, but I want to be clear: this is your decision. What I am saying is for YOU to make your own decision from a place of authenticity (not fear). I am NOT saying "bro, leave her."
/r/MarriedRedPill21/09/21 02:10 PM
2

Look man. This is like the 10th time you've posted some variant of the above. All you're doing is shifting the "loser card" one meta-level higher: now you're telling us how much of a loser you are because you now realize how much of a loser you've been trying to come off as. Shit or get off the pot. Stop the ruminating and intellectualizing (yes, that means stop intellectualizing about intellectualizing) and just do things. Go live your life. Lots of guys are here to help but have no desire to e…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/21 04:11 PM
17

If you have to explain/DEER your post before it even starts...
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/21 04:05 PM
1

there was some decent stuff in the post but then realizing the climax (pun intended) was... ...and then, fellas, I had sex with my wife!
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/21 05:37 PM
2

You could do both
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/21 05:34 PM
7

Boy, if you DEER this much to a stranger giving you shit, I can only imagine...
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/21 02:21 PM
4

Congrats on the sex!
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/21 04:07 PM
1

So much hamster. What's up with your lifts? Bulking at 18.5% bf? What's your goal there? Get fat?
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/21 03:03 PM
2

Yep. If you still need a cheat day/meal, then you don't have the right frame of mind with respect to your daily life. You view it as a huge struggle from which you need a "break." Getting your habits down with food and anything else - after a while, it's just what you do. It's what you do because you want the things that other people aren't willing to work for. To be honest, an entire cheat DAY is complete bullshit. Weakness or wanting to indulge for 1-2 hours, fine. But a whole day? "I really w…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/21 02:42 PM
2

Maybe you need to go get a blue collar job or some shit. Ever thought about that? Might change your outlook.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/21 12:07 AM
3

Once show knows you're actually willing to walk away, some things may change. You have her in a purgatory right now. Not sustainable long term. She will probably be relieved when you finally make a decision.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/21 03:51 PM
7

Check out Bigger, Leaner, Stronger and Atomic Habits. Control your environment re:food and alcohol. Your discipline is at the grocery store, not when you're sitting on the couch bored and ripe for backsliding.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/21 03:43 PM
6

You only regret the ultimatum because you don't have the courage to stick to it. You regret it because you desire the easy way. A nice, conflict free life. If only these concepts were in a book somewhere, on some kind sidebar....
/r/askMRP12/09/21 04:36 PM
1

I hope you don't speak like you write. The number of times you say "fuck" makes me cringe. You hiding anything with that?
/r/MarriedRedPill10/09/21 03:19 PM
2

You can absolutely be satisfied that a decision you made got a good reaction from someone else, but in more of a "win-win" kind of way. The problem is when we do it too much for others. And the problem in the situation you spoke about is that you're trying to "win" and almost punish her. This is very common. You already know this conceptually, just takes time to implement and get there.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/09/21 06:59 PM
2

On the back issues, get Dr. Sarno's books. On the shit tests, you've made so much progress that 75% of your OYS is about responding to your wife's bullshit. about 20 minutes later I’m confronted outside with, “Why didn’t you eat with us?” it was at this point that I knew my decision to leave the house was the right one So her response dictates what the right course of action is for you? You gotta understand that these kinds of interactions I truly do not give a single fuck anymore Good. Do you r…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/09/21 02:51 PM
1

for cheat meals on the weekends/date nights Dude at your weight you can still have plenty of cheat meals and lose weight. Every fucking day you could probably have a cheeseburger for dinner. How much are you gorging yourself? "De-prioritized" it, huh. Call it what it is. Disgusting.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/21 03:48 AM
5

No you're not
/r/askMRP27/08/21 03:16 PM
3

I'm gonna give you a lifeline here. Your OYS reads fine, and the path you're on seems fine. You're not getting clear answers because really the only answer to your questions is that nothing will really make sense until you have done a bunch of work and are on your way to being the prize. Being the prize is a mindset, but it is also based in reality. You can't just flip a switch in your mind and expect this wife of yours, who's put up with your beta Billy ass for 10 years, to understand what the …
/r/MarriedRedPill26/08/21 09:01 PM
3

LMAO. I told you.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/08/21 07:23 PM
1

Thanks for the effort. I wanted you to do this because I had a good example over the past few days. Nothing new. It happens. Bratty type behavior - I removed affection/attention/validation. Here's the difference in where I am now vs. where I was a few years ago: I removed it because I just don't give much of a fuck, and I have better things to do - and better mental spaces to be in - than to dwell in, or give my fucks to, that kind of behavior. I did NOT remove it because I was actively trying t…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/08/21 07:59 PM
3

I think you should expound on "cuddles ain't free" for the uninitiated. I foresee someone(s) taking that and Rambo-ing it.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/08/21 06:16 PM
1

I do notice a big difference in how I feel all around depending on what I’m eating. Absolutely, that's not controversial. But again, I don't think rice, bread and pasta are your enemies, here. If you're eating a whole cake with frosting every day, different story. The mind is a powerful thing, though. Perhaps I shouldn't have said anything, because if you really believe those things are causing your insomnia, then maybe you will get some good sleep if you cut them out.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/08/21 07:00 PM
5

Rice, bread, pasta, sweets here and there, English muffins - they all have slipped into my daily meal planning. They add up. They’re high on the glycemic index, and I am certain that they are responsible for my sleeping issues. I have never really heard this. Sure, if you're eating tons of pure sugar it can affect your sleep. But it's way more likely that with a thinker/intellectual like you, there's a deeper problem. Like you're fucking scared of your life and the anxiety affects your sleep. Yo…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/21 05:56 PM
2

Another resource that you should start reading/listening to TODAY is Bigger, Leaner, Stronger and its companion, called the Little Black Book of Workout Motivation. 19 weeks is pretty long for a cut, but at 1 pound per week (or only ~0.55% of body weight per week), it's not that aggressive of a deficit. If you wanted to, you could opt instead for a 12 week cut at more of a deficit (0.75%-1% of bodyweight per week). This might work better on a couple fronts: you'll be "done" before Thanksgiving/C…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/21 03:10 PM
1

You're going to get a rule 9 probably, but to be clear, have you been at 2k calories for the past 2 months? What's your TDEE, north of 3,300 calories? You've lost 45 pounds in 2 months? I would expect to feel like crap on a huge deficit for an extended period, but YMMV. Not sure if it affects your T levels, but it for sure can contribute to fatigue/injuries. Good on you for having the discipline to shed that weight, but maybe you could explain your plan, here.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/21 04:21 PM
3

Did you marry a stripper with a kid?
/r/askMRP11/08/21 02:59 PM
3

There are a little less than 20 weeks left in the year, I believe. 1lb/week is a conservative goal that would have you at 5'9 169 by year's end and a much more attractive 17% ish bodyfat (which will look and feel exponentially better than now, given you keep training with any intensity whatsoever). Once you get there, you won't want to stop leaning out. But you have to do it. Most of the little pleasures you probably say make life worth living are bullshit and just short-term comfort. Walking ar…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/21 07:13 PM
2

In an entire year according to you, you've gone from 202 to 189. One pound a month. That's pathetic, given that you set goals. I notice you don't regularly post your lifts, which must mean they suck. And at 5'9 189 at well over 20% bodyfat, you are FAT, not "a little soft around the middle." I realize you're not a young man anymore, but you can do way better. 9 months ago you called yourself out on lying to yourself about your weight loss, but here we are. You gonna do anything about it or just …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/21 03:12 PM
1

Planning on a caloric deficit?
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/21 08:11 PM
1

Are you doing cardio to justify eating like crap? 23-27% is fat. Do you have a plan for your macros or just "nutritious food?"
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/21 03:01 PM
1

Holding him accountable for what?
/r/MarriedRedPill03/08/21 05:54 PM
5

You've been brainwashed all this time. It's your fault for allowing it. But you don't have to anymore. At the same time, it’s probably just another layer of the onion. Once this is integrated, and I’ve learned what I can learn, it will be time to find the key to the next door. Fuck off with this mopey bullshit dude. You've been keeping yourself in a prison and now you know you don't have to. Every week you temper your possibilities. You're in your prime years; intelligent, you lift, decently lea…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/08/21 02:41 PM
4

Pretty good 1st OYS. I'll echo ragnar. Getting lean is everything right now. Like your life depends on it. See you next week.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/07/21 08:37 PM
2

She was nearly non responsive so eventually I just stopped because I was losing interest and thought she wasn’t into it either. I asked what’s up, is everything okay? she said she was genuinely into it and is frustrated that I just stopped. Fuck. This is you being a bitch and needing her validation in that moment. For some context: She’s had some past sexual trauma You can't worry about her that much. Set up the safe word like some guys are suggesting, then put it out of your head. Took a minute…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/07/21 03:03 PM
6

Dude you need to raise the bar on your goals. Reading 2 articles is something I just do without even thinking about it. My wife is annoyed each time I ask her for advice. She starts bitching at me and calling me annoying. I directly told her that she couldn't treat me that way. her reply was: "I feel that you're like another child". Instead of more fighting, I STFU. Lesson learned. WTF are you asking her advice on? She's not wrong, man.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/07/21 04:47 PM
2

"Quality" - depending on what you mean by that - probably matters for bloodwork and other health issues, but for weight loss/gain, is nearly irrelevant. Ask PD Mangan or whatever if he's ever eaten 3000 calories a day of the most pristine cut of steak at 155lbs and not gained weight.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/07/21 11:34 PM
2

I agree with this. You have all of the info you need to chart your own course. You're over half a year in, you've diligently listened to everything everyone has said, and your replies have shown that you've fully taken it in. You don't have to decide now what the absolute end game is, but I'd start taking confident steps. My guess is you're pretty close to a main event, or at least something like that (this week was a tremor). You probably have a short window of time coming up where you're going…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/07/21 05:32 PM
1

All that said and getting back to self improvement, the nuance is simply whether or not one defines "self improvement" as already having the resources to improve in you and just not utilizing them, or not. Horns' view is that someone who says he has to self improve is saying "I am incomplete and do not have what I need to get where I want to go." He thinks people who say that have a view that this incompleteness is somewhat of an EXCUSE for why they are the way they are. For me, I still believe …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/21 07:19 PM
3

In a way, it's rock bottom. At least was for me. You've puked, laid it all bare, cried in the fetal position. Hopefully dispensed with the ego, the hedging, the half measures. She had her main event but you also had yours. Your life is only about you - your thoughts and actions. When you've been through it and go and read other OYS in the future, all you can see is guys that haven't dispensed with their bullshit yet. Still hanging on. Clear as day. What do you think, in hindsight, actually got y…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/21 07:02 PM
2

I feel myself at home How often?
/r/MarriedRedPill13/07/21 09:03 PM
12

I said this in another post but life is so strange. By the time you're willing to nuke it all, people will then come along. The irony being - by definition, you don't care if they do or don't. Just goes to show how attractive real abundance is. Hard wired.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/07/21 08:03 PM
5

Read this post by u/redpillruminations this week. This is what finally letting go and being willing to walk looks like. Difficult and emotional, because you're not just coming to terms with potentially letting go of a relationship, but coming to terms with your past failures, insecurities, time wasted, regret. Who knows whether he (you) will stay, whether it will last, or not. But that's not the main point.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/07/21 03:16 PM
2

One thing that pulls at my mind is the question of have I really given this enough time. It's been seven months. Is that really enough time to expect a dramatic turnaround, especially considering how fucked up I started out? Given that it could get much better, given more time, I'm not being fair by evaluating the marriage in it's current state. But this is wrong. It could probably never be as good as freedom. Four guys commented independently this week, saying exactly the same thing. I'd be a f…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/21 07:33 PM
3

Yes, to be clear, I would advocate "TRP" so that he can get into a better MRP/hard mode (given that life is what people here generally want). 1 - the grass is probably greener, but 2 - the only way to fix the current one is to hit rock bottom and understand what's actually happening, and actually being ready to hit the eject button (abundance). Hitting it or not isn't my place to say. Further, I've come to hate the sparring partner concept for guys that aren't complete noobs. It's willful ignora…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/07/21 03:20 PM
3

I’m questioning if it’s worth it. Its hard for me to determine my motivation. Maybe I have a scarcity mindset and I’m scared to let a sure thing (shitty as it may be) go. Maybe the best thing I can do for my own maturation is to play red pill on hard mode for a while. Maybe I’m waiting to see if I like my reflection that I see in her more when I’m worth a shit and she has something positive to reflect back at me. Maybe I’m stalling. Maybe I’m telling myself it’s better than it is to reduce the c…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/07/21 01:53 AM
2

Fuck I thought I was done with the anger. Does this ever finish? Jordan Peterson talks about addictions being a little personality inside you and this seems true to me, for me, in the case of porn, but it also seems that way with resentment and rage. The beast seems to be fighting for its life, constantly reminding me of how I have been wronged. "Don't forget this, don't forget how she lied." It's pathetic. If I had to explain it, even to her, I would be embarrassed. How can I be so enraged, but…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/21 05:03 PM
2

The reason I haven't moved on is that I don't have abundance and I'm scared. Full stop. I'm glad you were finally able to admit it. Say it to yourself over and over. Get pissed. Get sad. Whatever. Fully acknowledge it, stare at it, lay yourself bare to the reality and move forward. You're going to be fine, dude. Do whatever you want with your plan, but like 99% of guys here, once you get out of this shit with her and move on, you'll probably be amazed. You just don't know how much better your li…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/21 05:44 PM
1

god this is pathetic
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/21 02:19 AM
2

Yeah, I know there are guys who've gotten something out of it, just don't think it should be the go to (especially if you don't have kids). Or if it is the go to, we should be honest that there's a big element of fear of change involved, and the gradual separation softens that blow. Again, that's OK. Nuking shit is hard. But I bet 95% of guys here who claim to be sparring are just afraid, and they'd be better off killing the puppy. That's their road to walk, though. No amount of me saying it can…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/21 11:15 PM
5

I usually disagree with most about the usefulness of the "sparring partner." Mostly because it's an excuse. Guys are afraid. And that's fine, but let's at least be honest. From what I see it has been a year or more for you and you seem to be in the same place. It's a bit different for guys who just get here, and we're trying to keep them from going rambo autistic and blow everything up. If you've introspected honestly, I guess she could be useful to spar with. But you only have so many days here…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/21 08:36 PM
3

Just to give you some more perspective, I also don't know of a guy out there that enjoys She has a masculine energy and is headstrong and combative, talks vulgar with her friends, is domineering and rude with her friends, doesn’t respect men in her life. She talks over me and others constantly. Maybe my masculine frame can polarize this in time, but I’m not sure, and I don’t want to wait forever to find out. I'm sure they exist. But my point is, sometimes you need a knock upside the head to make…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/21 07:39 PM
9

She already threw it away, brother.
/r/askMRP24/06/21 10:47 PM
1

Why do you want to be with someone who doesn't like you and is in love with someone else?
/r/askMRP24/06/21 07:43 PM
1

RemindMe! 3 Months
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/21 09:04 PM
2

I had read that injections were more cyclical (peak when done, valley before the next one) and the gel was more constant. I will keep it as an option. That is correct but really only matters if injections are spaced far apart (like only once a week or every other week). 2x/week is pretty much the minimum frequency these days and as I understand, injections are still the gold standard.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/21 08:00 PM
0

A year is too long, man. Before the rona and during my SSLP I was squatting 385 for 5. I look forward to building that strength again. But I can't do that without eating enough. I want to get there sooner. You're too wishy-washy. I want strength now! I want to be lean now! What does that sound like? A child. If you really can't make any sacrifices in either area, get on gear and get it over with and stop wasting everyone's time.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/21 07:52 PM
5

Sorry to hear about your mom. I keep avoiding counting calories. It's lazy. But I think if I can teach myself not to eat things without logging them, that will keep me from shoving 9 chips in my mouth and saying "eh, it's only 120-160 calories." Classic. My discipline is at the grocery store. Don't have the chips in the house if you are that tempted, or put them somewhere that's not easy for you to just walk by and grab. Another tactic if you're struggling is to just give yourself some margin fo…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/21 04:05 PM
4

If I could give one piece of advice to 14 year old me, it may be that feeling good isn't a prerequisite to action.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/06/21 11:48 PM
1

I'm the same. I'm actually by far the leanest I've ever been in my life, and I've always been <17% bodyfat (legit), now around 13%. Even when I was 12 and played sports it was impossible to get rid of the belly fat. Not sure if genetics or just the calories I was eating - of course a 12 year old shouldn't worry about that. My short-term: https://ibb.co/wMHjW4f Long-term: https://ibb.co/VD5WLnW
/r/MarriedRedPill22/06/21 11:41 PM
4

I have been struggling with the fear of losing strength and muscle while losing fat. So much that it's holding me back. After an exchange with u/Ubermensch33 last week, I took his advice and built a weight loss spreadsheet. I added all of my stats from the last 14 weeks and projected it out to the end of October. Which would put me around my goal at the same rate. I exported that data into a few graphs. The first graph compares total weight in lbs to body fat % and lean mass %. These percentages…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/06/21 11:28 PM
2

I couldn't help but laugh when I read this. Yeah, that's me. I like to think of it as "fail fast and pivot", or experiments, or rapid prototyping... probably because my ego loves how those sound. I think that's a good approach sometimes, but it can also be a cover for quitting when something gets hard or boring and moving on to the next thing that looks exciting. I just need to make sure I'm being honest with myself about why I'm quitting when I'm quitting. I think you're fooling yourself more o…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/06/21 02:44 PM
3

Holy shit, a whole year? My bad dude. I didn't realize. That should totally make up for the other 21 years you were fat and lazy... Improving yourself and approaching women aren't mutually exclusive. You know what disgusts women, though? Neediness. Guess what you are? Go through the sidebar books. Go through Steel's guide at the top. Keep doing what you're doing in real life. Put yourself out there. Fail a bunch. Succeed some, even if it's not the quality you want. At your age, it's all practice…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/21 10:43 PM
1

MRP Sidebar. Lift. After you're done, your questions will be different than above.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/21 09:20 PM
4

But, I know for sure I can do better than a single ugly girl. If not, this life aint worth living, straight up. So your entire worth is dependent on if you can get some type of girl? Girls think you're a creep because they can smell your desperation.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/21 02:49 PM
3

Your reflection is really interesting and probably spot on. Maybe it's not that you want to feel powerless, but that you want to feel a struggle (the two probably overlap quite a bit). To feel something. I've noticed a pattern with you specifically and being overly interested in the novel. You probably jump from thing to thing in lots of areas. I guess there's another type of person that looks for silver bullets, though: lazy people. With diets like keto and carnivore specifically, they tend to …
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/21 12:35 AM
1

I agree that putting in effort and not getting enough value in return is not a her problem, but a me problem. It's a you problem if you're doing it for her/the scoreboard. We don't really consider the things we'd be doing with or without her "effort" as far as the relationship goes - that's stuff we'd be doing anyway. That's just life. So lots of guys get resentful because they "put in all this effort (for her)" (even though some of it is just basic shit) and she, unaware of this contract you've…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/21 08:57 PM
2

I understand. But part of it is you thinking there's a "get rich quick" thing here. Maybe that it would be "easier" to just crash diet and do it real fast so you aren't prolonging the suck. Forgetting about the fact that this doesn't really work for most people (if anyone), instead of framing this as an "ego" issue that you just don't want to lose muscle, I would give you the feedback that I think you are perhaps not willing to do the work to do things the RIGHT way. You want the immediate grati…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/21 06:15 PM
4

It sounded to me like you were one of those guys that rationalized his constant dirty "bulk" because he didn't want to lose strength, but needs to shed ~10% bodyfat. You can't have it all. Because you've allowed it to get to this point, you're going to have to sacrifice something (muscle gain) in the near term. Sounds like you are struggling with that, mentally. Same as your initial OYS. Cutting while training sucks. I get it. I will say if you get down to 15%, even if/when your lifts go down, y…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/21 04:48 PM
1

I didnt ask if I should cut, bulk or recomp. What the fuck do I want? Since before my OYS #1, I keep hamstering back and forth. Do I want to lose weight fast, and then work on strength and build muscle later? I'd be better off changing my mental model on nutrition now, you know for the long run. Build strength slowly, while losing weight even fucking slower. I have the tools to lose it fast as fuck, but I'll lose strength. Why does it have to be all or nothing with me? This is a mental model I n…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/21 02:27 PM
4

I haven't done much reading on gut health but that sounds wonky, man. A quick google search yields mixed results. Everything from home remedies to labeling it pseudoscience. And I'm betting they want to sell you something to cure this "bacterial overgrowth." It could be real and I'm being an idiot. I don't know. Does it seem just as likely your gut health (and formerly your mood in general, which prompted you to want to feel better) is poor due to high levels of mental stress/anxiety/anguish?
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/21 12:37 AM
6

Not trying to endorse being a plowhorse here, but ain't nobody gonna give you a proportionate return on your investment. I try to accept it. But we all have different measures of what's "good enough." Here's where I push back a little on the whole thing, though. If you're putting in too much effort with her - unless she's just providing such a small amount of value that it makes the ratio absurd - is that really a her problem? Is it really a reflection of her, or is it a reflection of you? How m…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/06/21 11:06 PM
2

I notice you left off your bodyfat %. Maybe that omission is the answer to "should I cut/bulk/maintain?" As if you being 6' 250 fucking pounds (and not an NFL linebacker with elite genetics) wasn't enough to answer the question.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/06/21 10:59 PM
3

Disclaimer: do what you want, and experiment with whatever. I've tried a bunch of stuff, but... Why are you doing a carnivore diet? Is it just something you want to try? Because if not, there are tried and true ways of achieving a high level of health and athletic performance. Tried and true ways of getting body fat off. Tried and true ways of increasing lean body mass. They might be boring, but they work. Seems strange to do a fad-ish diet and ALSO spend a lot of money making sure it's not mess…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/06/21 10:06 PM
2

I don't want to admit it, but this all means I'm still a dancing monkey. I don't get the reaction I want, so I want to burn it down. But I don't see how this isn't the end game - either I get what I want and stay, or I don't and I leave. I don't see how that isn't accurate. I think you're autismo-ing this one a little bit. The dancing monkey/validation stuff is useful for recognizing behaviors that guys have really never thought about. Everyone has a "covert" contract that "I'm gonna be how I'm …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/06/21 08:40 PM
3

Your anger is a tool for manipulation used out of a lack of control. Since you can't get what you want more "naturally" through being the prize, this is your tool. Same thing internally, but at least the only person you're manipulating is yourself. Can sometimes be good for causing action (probably why you say it has had utility), but not a long term solution. Anger has to go into discipline and turn into a constructive emotion at some point IMO.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/06/21 07:47 PM
3

Started another cut phase this week after two weeks maintenance. I’m testing alternate day fasting with carnivore this time. Also got back the results of the second round of functional medicine lab testing. What is this?
/r/MarriedRedPill15/06/21 04:54 PM
1

How those lifts going? Any problem turning up?
/r/MarriedRedPill15/06/21 02:29 AM
3

this is also for u/ImPissedOffALot If you have a behavior you (or others) have identified as undesirable, it's my opinion that your time is better spent on simply changing the behavior TODAY as opposed to spending TODAY in your head considering the events that led to the undesirable behavior. One - it's really impossible to know. For example, I used to be a people pleaser, Nice Guy. Why? Well clearly I had a lack of confidence and self esteem. But why? Maybe because I never got it from my father…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/06/21 04:13 PM
5

If you are an inevitable product of this trauma, and can't go back to change it, how does this help you change the mental model? Yes, I am coming to this conclusion. I don't understand. I asked you how that assumption helps you change your mental model. or it could be that you have the goal to subvert yourself (this is my opinion). Would you elaborate on this? Could be any number of reasons, but a fairly simple narrative below. I think the novel part is understanding that maybe instead of your t…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/06/21 07:16 PM
1

It's your choice to give it the time of day. I differ from some here in that I think it's fairly unimportant why the image comes up. It could be an unavoidable outcome of past trauma, or it could be that you have the goal to subvert yourself (this is my opinion). What do you get out of tracing it backward? If you are an inevitable product of this trauma, and can't go back to change it, how does this help you change the mental model?
/r/MarriedRedPill10/06/21 05:49 PM
2

Staying in the zone of conscious competence/active phase creates a mental image of a future where I regret the choices I make from going Red. This comes out of trauma baked in, not chosen. Can you elaborate/rephrase? Your writing is obtuse - could be a me problem. I don't see what trauma has to do with your choice to create a mental image of regret.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/06/21 05:28 PM
1

Physical 2 years ago I was almost 400lbs The reason I'm here because I'm so fucking paranoid that she was or will cheat on me Jesus
/r/MarriedRedPill10/06/21 12:08 AM
2

Understand all those "escapes" are just barriers to reaching your goals. They aren't "bad" or "evil" and don't make you a bad person (mostly). So it just comes down to how much do you want to achieve your goals? Do you have any goals other than "stop thing x?" Set concrete lifting goals and set a bodyfat % goal. Here, I'll do it for you: 2-3-4 plates on the big 3, and 18% bodyfat by the end of the year. 2022 goals: 1000lb club and 12.5% bodyfat. Your behaviors will either align with those goals,…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/06/21 07:20 PM
2

Have you ever cut/dieted before (while training)? That is a big deficit right off the bat unless you're at maintenance the other 3 days.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/06/21 05:51 PM
8

The guy in his late 50s I talked to keeps his levels at 1000. I've never felt what that's like. Go the legit route and call Defy. Educate yourself on excelmale.com and other sites/books like you have with MRP. My guess is it'll be one of the better decisions you've ever made, but only you know. I'm at around 1000 as well and I know lots of other guys here are with Defy.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/06/21 05:09 PM
2

Women desire the illusion that they are the prize. They don't want to be the actual prize though because that means the man is lower value than them. So, you have to change the rules of the game. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfDjKx1LyeU
/r/MarriedRedPill08/06/21 05:02 PM
1

Glad you're speaking with a therapist. Listen man. Nobody here is going to feel sorry for you. You got a bullshit narrative going on about your "conditioning." It's probably just good ole fear. Of others judging you, not being accepted, etc...How difficult it's going to be for you to think and act differently. Probably judging yourself for letting it get to this point. We've all been somewhere near where you are, that's why we found MRP. Based on your other posts, you already know what you need …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/21 02:24 PM
1

There are so many things here that are just flat out not your problem/responsibility.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/21 01:35 AM
5

Hmmmm...."amazing, amazing, crushing it, got a raise, got an A." What are you hoping to achieve here? Got any lifts?
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/21 01:29 AM
1

I made a list of things that make me happy, that I do repeatedly. There wasn't a lot: hard workouts, caveman sex, epiphanies. The list of things that make me happy that I don't do repeatedly was a little longer. Watching sunsets, finishing checklists, good movies, sports, family. So I need to integrate those things more. There was a quote I saw attributed to W&S along the lines of "what makes you happy? why aren't you doing what makes you happy?" and that feels like the right question to ask. I …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/21 12:18 AM
1

It's probably gonna get volatile at some point soon, if you're being radio silent and escalating tension in a serious way. She's placating now because it's new and she sees a bit of a shift. Horns explains the better option, but as for specifics, if she's a brat about you slapping her ass, my go to is just to keep it light. Don't engage in her escalation of tension. You don't give a fuck about her response, right? You did the opposite, and I understand why - sometimes that boundary needs to be d…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/21 12:09 AM
3

I like what you're getting at. Horns posted something in the discord last week where during his journey, his wife wrote him a note that basically said "I do value you, but you only see validation through sex." I would say that's the extreme TLDR of my interpretation of what you wrote above. Part of me wonders how much of the "authenticity" stuff we're selling ourselves is just as blue pill/delusional as dancing monkey behaviors. Like I said above - we've just interchanged "dancing monkey for sex…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/06/21 05:11 PM
5

Covert contract. Inserting "her genuine desire" in place of "sex." It's better, I guess, but not by much.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/06/21 03:05 PM
2

Not a bad calc but is definitely in my favor by a couple percent. Scale says 14.5% and this calc says 12.7%. I like that it takes your lifts into account, though. In any event I feel you on dudes with no lifts and 200lbs+ that are "about 15% BF" like every other clueless idiot on the internet. Legit 14-15% bf looks very decent. My guess is 5% of guys here are actually at that level. BTW - I got my mind right and have had zero back issues since we last spoke.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/06/21 03:03 PM
2

I thought it would be more complicated than that in the end. Or maybe I just wanted it to be complicated. I can't honestly say that this one comment has persuaded me not to go down that same road. Sometimes I just have to find out for myself that it's a road to nowhere. But I think that this has planted a seed of doubt that will make me give up sooner than I would have otherwise. In the meantime, and to avoid getting caught in another philosophy trap, I think there is action I can take here. I'v…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/21 05:54 PM
3

The top down approach is finding purpose and using that to prioritize everything else in life. I'm working through a course on that and taking a lot of time to just think through it and write. It's going to take a while. It sounds to me like you're ego invested in this "philosopher king" identity. This identity of struggle. And the idea that worthwhile things have to be hard and complicated. They don't. My "purpose" is to be happy and enjoy my day to day existence. That's it. Yes we can go down …
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/21 12:51 AM
3

I don't have much to add /u/red_koan as JCX is pretty spot on with his tough love. You are being quite a drama queen bitch in this OYS. I couldn’t tolerate the intolerable What the fuck is "intolerable?" Some average life filled with comforts unimaginable 100 years ago? This is entirely about your attitude, not your circumstances. You don't need an all encompassing theory of everything. You don't need to have everything figured out in order to be happy tomorrow. This whole OYS is mental masturba…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/21 04:57 PM
3

Let her reject it rather than filtering it yourself. Was thinking about this concept yesterday (actually in terms of workplace interactions, but it holds the same). I see stark differences here in pre/post MRP guys. Pre MRP attitude is always in others' heads. It tries to anticipate how others will react and get out in front, sometimes even apologizing in advance. Analyzing situations to death. Now, the attitude is: I am this way, this is what I want/need, and I am relying on you to set a bounda…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/21 02:57 PM
5

Horns' post is really good for specifics. So I'll go with the larger issue: you have no self esteem. (which is why sex = validation). For me, the specifics of what I was doing day to day didn't matter until I addressed the larger issue of just not having confidence in myself. Ideally, you start gaining that internal frame and everything else flows naturally. The reason I'm making this distinction is you said a bunch of things like "I need to be more OI, I need to enforce my boundaries, I need to…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/21 05:14 PM
6

But part of me thinks, this is how it works, right? is going to the gym a covert contract? because getting jacked makes me attractive, and while I do want to be jacked for jack's sake, I also want to be attractive so I can fuck women. same with being the oak. I like being the oak because I like being strong in all ways, but I'm lying if I deny that part of the reason I become the oak is to give my wife the feelz of safety and comfort she needs to drop her panties. Or am I way off here? I don't t…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/21 04:20 AM
5

Easiest way to figure out your motivation here is to ask how you'll feel if she doesn't appreciate your effort at being the hardest working, most responsible member of the house. The way you frame it shows it's a competition and therefore you likely expect something if you win. I have fought to get to this point for years. where I can keep going even when I'm wiped out, without dropping into whiny bitch mode or passing the buck to my wife. There's something meaningful and rewarding in it. I see …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/21 06:35 PM
5

Recently backed off initiating somewhat. There was this...desperation...in my whole approach I need to kill. Like this dying thirsty attitude spewing out of every bit if kino, every word, everything I did. I don't just want sex, I need it to survive. This is weakness. This is not to deny my sexual nature, or even denying that I really want frequent eager sex. It means that I need to control my desires and the best way I could see doing that was backing off & starting over from a new frame of sel…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/05/21 04:50 PM
4

You're at 1 full year of OYS. Might be time to go out in the world and see what's what, or at least reflect on how this space serves you going forward vs. how much is mental masturbation. I'm making no implication, here, but offering a suggestion for reflection. Still taking 10mg prozac. Thoughts around getting off this?
/r/MarriedRedPill20/05/21 03:30 PM
2

Which numbers didn't add up for you? 5'7, 168 at 14.5% body fat doing 130 on the bench, or 175 squat, for reps (as someone who's been lifting for a while). Seems like you should be lifting more than that, even if you have an effort problem. I'm looking thru your history and see that u/Rpeeing already addressed this a bit. At 165 he was at 2-3-4 plates on bench, squat, DL, which is consistent with my experience in people who aren't beginners (at least, if not repping those amounts, 1RM around the…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/21 09:13 PM
1

I agree with both you and Sepean here. He's absolutely right IMO that lots of things only "work" because of who you are at other times. I don't think this is controversial, and that we all agree context matters, or, the same action taken by you will work differently for me. There is some overlap with basic shit, of course. But we're different people. Now we kind of get into "what's good advice for the unplugging," which is complicated. Can they grasp all this at first, or just need actionable ad…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/21 07:59 PM
5

Stats: 168 lbs, 5'7 14.5% fat scale, 15% navy Lifting: - BP: 132 3x7 LBS - Squat: 176 LBS 5x5 - DL: (Hexa) 264 3x7 LBS 330 RM - BOR: 143 5x5 LBS - PullUps 5 x 3 - SP: 99 5x5 LBS Something doesn't add up. Are these extrapolated lifts? LMAO. In your OYS 4 you were 5'10. Last week you were 5'9. This week you're 5'7.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/21 04:36 PM
1

Your back is fine. What is a "back tear" anyway? After "Letting Go" you should read "Healing Back Pain" by Sarno. Then get to lifting.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/21 04:54 PM
2

Good post. You might enjoy Letting Go by David Hawkins.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/21 04:46 PM
2

What are your lifts and what have you read from the sidebar?
/r/MarriedRedPill14/05/21 03:29 PM
1

Same for bratty dudes, if you're forced to deal with them (work). On the surface, most people just want to be right. Driven by pride. But in a disagreement, what they really want is an out. I look back and cringe at how many times I escalated an argument in order to protect my ego. Give em an out, or a chance to present their idea (your idea) in a slightly different way. I think this is one of the laws of power. It may not happen right away - a number of times I've had a colleague down the road …
/r/MarriedRedPill13/05/21 02:18 PM
2

Again, I could give a shit if you choose to be in any of those fields, it doesn't necessarily define you, but I saw it specifically as part of a larger issue (complacency). And you're here for a reason, presumably because you're unhappy with several things in your life. I can only guess as to why you're a serial underachiever. Fear of failure, probably. We can always tell ourselves we could have done something, and as long as we don't prove ourselves wrong, it's plausible. That's ego. As guys he…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/21 03:01 PM
2

Dialing up the intensity in the gym has helped me in all areas of my life. Limiting thoughts tend to be pervasive.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/21 12:20 AM
1

I'm not judging you at all here, but just for the sake of reality: I make good money, though. Almost 6 figures. "Almost" 6 figures is not "making good money" for your age. I bring it up not to make an implication about your, or my, value, but to say that you shouldn't be complacent, here. Especially when you later say Fucked around too much at work. Operating at about 25%. Dude. If these things satisfy your goals, and your mission doesn't involve money or achievement/satisfaction through work, f…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/21 12:18 AM
1

How close to 1RM should I push intensity on power days? how much should I have left in the tank? I'm not familiar with PHUL specifically - or your history - but if you've been lifting for more than a year and your macros are good (enough protein), it looks like you aren't working hard enough given your weight and body fat % (if that's anywhere close to correct). This can give you some decent rules of thumb: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deDlhPmT2SY&t=913s
/r/MarriedRedPill11/05/21 07:34 PM
1

On the one hand, I was annoyed because this was subconsciously seeking validation. On the other, I was confused. As I understand it, the first step at its core is to "be attractive; don't be unattractive." Attraction is something others feel and react to. It is not divorced from the sexual marketplace, and I have to recognize it. But, as I digest the sidebar and MRP, I get the clear message that I am my own ultimate judge. To square that circle, I've decided that I value being the best physical …
/r/MarriedRedPill11/05/21 07:09 PM
6

To echo Horns, since you're a newbie lifter, you'll be able to recomp your body while also getting stronger. No excuses. 6 months from now you should be heavier and have lower bodyfat % if you eat fairly clean and put in the work. Track everything. Also: Mildly social guy (well, I'd say above-average for an IT guy anyway…) I cringed at this qualification. Raise your bar and start thinking about leaving behind old narratives about yourself. Why do you just have to be acceptable "for an IT guy?"
/r/MarriedRedPill11/05/21 03:12 PM
2

Cool. RemindMe! 5 Weeks
/r/MarriedRedPill11/05/21 12:05 AM
1

This is getting out of your arena and into mine but, maybe us flared guys cant just fucking inject the code for kung fu into your head. That you have to actually live it. And we have to just accept that our job is simply to open the door as many times as we're willing, and hope you walk through it. I think you've got it, here. You or I will say something and it will be met with resistance. 6 weeks, or months, from now, it will click, because it needs that associated experience. That's all we can…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/21 08:22 PM
3

I remember commenting on one of your first OYS, and your tone now is drastically different. Keep working. On responding to those shit tests, all of those techniques are great. Just think about why. Yes, shit test from women have a purpose and all that, but getting shit from anyone is often more about them than it is you. So even though you may be LARPing a little by using those techniques to "achieve" something, fogging and all that stuff eventually are the natural response of a guy that doesn't…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/21 02:41 PM
3

So you have failed to turn up and do the work 75% of the time over the last year, but you also "have no problem turning up and doing the work?" Fuck man. You know by now that's your ego. You get that little dopamine hit knowing you "could have if you wanted to." Bullshit. I'm aiming for a target weight of 175 and my lifts back to (still shit) pre covid levels within the next six weeks. This is either a poorly written sentence, or you're full of shit, because you're 151 lbs and your goal is to be…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/05/21 04:44 PM
3

I think the bullshit meter is going off in part because it seems like you're DEERing your experience, and it seems like you're waffling about it: one minute you're confident in it, and the next you're hedging that "it's early" and may not stick, begging for us to be your crutch. If you're really confident about the experience, who gives a fuck if Blarg thinks you might be full of shit? Or if I tell you it doesn't matter why you shoved your kid? In my experience, an experience like you had could …
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/21 04:47 PM
2

Throwing /u/ancient_resistance a bone here, I don't think it's that uncommon to have that type of experience and sort of just have things click into place - whether it's deep reflection on the past that turns into acting like a child for 6 months, or some other manifestation of a male main event (anger, anxiety, fear) where everything just bubbles over and you're forced to let go of all your bullshit. These kinds of spiritual crises have tons of variations in name depending on your worldview, bu…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/21 02:44 PM
3

I think I also need to be doing more mobility-type work on my off days. I’m starting to have a lot of neck/back/shoulder pain which I blame on being at the computer all day for the past few decades. It took a while but I believe bad posture/muscle imbalances finally caught up to me. Hope it is not too late to reverse things. Trying to decide now whether to look at something like a general mobility/yoga-type program for my non-lifting days, or something more targeted at the neck/shoulder pain I a…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/21 11:10 PM
2

What's holding you back?
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/21 06:44 PM
3

He's trying to ask you who does the fucking in the relationship. Clearly she does right now.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/21 06:07 PM
3

You're a guy who would benefit from paid online coaching. You should be able to hold yourself accountable, and you don't need anything but stronglifts/starting strength right now (and a ton of calories), but some people have to force it. Pay someone $200/month to do your programming/coaching, and you'll take it seriously, and also get the confidence you're doing it "right." It's better than staying at those pathetic lifts pretending to be accountable to us. DM me for a recommendation.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/21 05:06 PM
4

Own your shit, man. Deleting accounts, deleting posts. If you deserve to get roasted/banned, it'll only help you. Actually maybe it won't, because you're unique with a unique situation.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/21 01:20 AM
1

LOL. This is a post.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/21 12:43 AM
2

Sure, I'm not saying it doesn't matter at all. It can be enlightening and a relief to understand where something originated. And, if you're the type that blames yourself, understanding it wasn't all your fault is nice. On the other hand, my comment came from the fact that I've seen way too many guys come in (and friends/colleagues) with the narrative "this happened to me in my past, therefore I am like ____." One - I think it shirks responsibility a little bit. There's a point in life when you'r…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/21 12:02 AM
3

Not understanding your implication. According to me, putting myself in OP's shoes, given my experience.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/21 04:46 PM
3

I'm going to give you the most direct and honest answer I can, not the one I wish I could give. I was pushed around as a kid. bullied. silent, powerless. Had to put up with a lot of shit I would have rather pushed away. Something about her approach triggered that past mental state. Except now I'm older and not powerless. I don't have to put up with bullshit. I can push it away. So I did. Literally, physically. This was a horribly immature and childlike reaction. But it was authentic. It was the …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/04/21 06:28 PM
3

This whole OYS could've been 2 words: "I'm lazy."
/r/MarriedRedPill16/04/21 04:51 PM
1

You're scared. That's OK, but be honest with yourself.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/21 03:34 PM
3

I also don't get the explicit budgeting for most people. If you've been at the same income level for more than a few months, you know what you can buy and what you can't. Maybe if you're on a really, really strict budget it helps. But that means you need to do some work on your skills. Is there some kind of dopamine hit people get from writing it all down? Is it actually a way to say "no" to their wife without fault?
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/21 03:32 PM
1

All good. You might be fat, though. Are you fat?
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/21 04:24 PM
9

OYS My focus is still too often external. Holding up "constant, authentic desire" from another as an ideal to work toward is a covert contract and need for external validation just as much as the basic Nice Guy desiring approval from mommy. Expecting things from others, past a certain point, is as much a blue pill Disney fantasy as anything else. Covert contract: become what I believe is a HVM = appreciation and higher likelihood of authenticity from others. That might be true, but my expectatio…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/21 04:16 PM
1

I mean, I am ready to be impressed. That's a pretty nice block of muscle.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/21 04:14 PM
2

6’ 211 pounds, 17% bodyfat What are your lifts?
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/21 03:49 PM
5

Some good thoughts here, but your overall plan is to make a good plan? Just do the stuff, man.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/21 03:46 PM
2

Do you want us to give you permission to get the fuck out? Here: Get the fuck out, bro. Get out first, come back to OYS and start sorting through your shit, i.e., your lack of self-esteem and propensity for guilt.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/21 03:24 PM
3

Wild story. Did Chad ever contact you directly?
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/21 08:17 PM
2

She was begging you to lead the relationship.
/r/askTRP08/04/21 06:19 PM
2

What
/r/MarriedRedPill06/04/21 08:36 PM
2

Ah. My fault. Still....
/r/MarriedRedPill06/04/21 05:55 PM
2

Good steps. Trust your intuition, you're still analyzing the shit out of things and your OYS continues to be really long. Try to simplify. As an aside, how tf is your squat 270 and bench 250? Your vision is your own, and a lot of guys find being alone very attractive at a certain point on this path, which is fine, but I would just say to do some introspection on whether you don't want a wife/LTR/partner within your mission, or if you just don't want her. And you might not know that until you go …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/04/21 03:27 PM
2

You need a reality check. As do all of us when we get here. A complete re-frame. Typically requires a firm knock upside the head. If you cant handle some shit from strangers on the internet and hold your frame, what's going to happen when it gets tested in real life? All is not as it appears here. You have to swallow the whole pill, not just the parts you're comfy with. After you've done that, you can decide what to take or leave. Right now you're just protecting your precious ego. See you on Tu…
/r/askMRP28/03/21 05:23 PM
4

I came in receptive but I'm disappointed by this community You came in wanting us to tell you what you wanted to hear, and when the other guys didn't - you're disappointed?
/r/askMRP27/03/21 05:00 PM
4

I'm reading the Courage to be Disliked and it showed me where an aspect of my marriage where I'm blaming: I've been resenting her for taking up all my time, money, and energy. It's obviously wrong to blame her for taking those things, because she can't take them, I have to give them- but why would I give them and then resent her for it? The book suggests she is playing a role I need her to play. Exactly. This is true for all the negative emotions and shitty mental models we hang on to. We actual…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/03/21 07:51 PM
10

This may be blue pill or overly emotive, but in my eyes, this woman is still the gold standard, and I'd go through hell and back to save our marriage. Despite all the weakness and personal issues I've shared above, there's still in my soul that core, masculine trait that says "I'd take a bullet for her and my family, and I wouldn't think twice." So noble! Does everyone see how noble this guy is willing to be? Isn't it impressive? See you in OYS tomorrow.
/r/askMRP15/03/21 02:49 PM
2

If this is true, then I can use those traits as tools when I need them, and put them away and use other traits in other situations like relationships. Is that what you're saying? Or do those traits just fade away? I don't know, man. Depends on what you do. There aren't that many things in life that have 0 to do with interpersonal relationships, but sure, there are tasks where those qualities are helpful. Most of the time, perfectionism/neuroticism still has to do with other people. We like to te…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/21 05:47 AM
3

I'm grateful that you pointed this out. That's the connection I couldn't see and that I most needed to make. I knew that I was all of the things you said- rigid, perfectionist, neurotic, etc- but I thought that was just personality, and didn't really consider that it could be something I was doing to myself, by letting fear eat my mind every day. Yes, it's absolutely something you're creating and previously chalking up to "that's just the way I am" and you have probably even thought how great th…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/21 04:24 PM
2

There are better guys here than me to talk to about these specific mini/main events (/u/hornsofapathy and others). But as to the mental models... Your fear was mostly bullshit, as you are finding out, and whatever happens, generally speaking...you'll be fine. Probably even much better. We all deal with these fears but IMO it's the main part of the journey for guys like us: former Nice Guys, rigid, perfectionist, etc... The mental masturbation is from fear. When the fear is released, we stop fixa…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/21 04:27 PM
7

USS Dryvagina lmao
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/21 04:09 PM
3

This all boils down to one thing. CB is afraid to be selfish because he believes giving is the only way to get what he wants. And it's not just giving people what they want- it's becoming what they want. Altruism is give to get; not just giving resources, but giving your entire identity. It's self sacrifice in the truest sense of the word- I literally killed who I was to get what I wanted. So now, who I am is nothing but how other people perceive me. And that's my problem right there. I don't kn…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/21 04:09 PM
8

When I read that you were the fat kid growing up and unpopular, and you are now a former bodybuilder, combined with all the other things you say about yourself, I arrive at one place: complete insecurity. Do what you want but I'm betting NMMNG is the place to start. Issues with your sex life are issues with you. I know you want to jump right in to "how do I get better sex" but NMMNG is listed first on the sidebar for a reason.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/21 03:31 PM
3

It's astounding to me how alike most guys are that wind up here, especially after the initial anger phases. Planners, controllers, efficiency whores, optimizers. Problem solvers. So many days when I start planning out my entire week by the hour, and so often it just dawns on me how futile that is, past a point. And unattractive, past a point. My girl loves it for the most part, because she's the same way. But I know there's the part of both of us that hates it and craves spontaneity/letting go. …
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/21 12:58 AM
1

Yes, I think there's a reason you started with that. Owning the fact that you are (still) emotionally stunted is a good thing. But how do you view that? Do you view it as an inevitable current state due to your childhood?
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/21 09:35 PM
3

This overthinking everything is a symptom of the larger problem of guys being so scared they're in her frame. Even on sex. /u/Tyred_Biggums said what needs to be said. You're also probably scared that it's not OK to have different types of sex (short vs long sessions, etc...). Improvements to be made here as soon as I figure out what I need to do. What does "figure out what I need to do" mean? Sex once or twice a week is fine. I get why that is a measuring stick if you've recently had a lack of …
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/21 04:54 PM
1

Why is your very first line after your stats "emotionally dysfunctional childhood?"
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/21 03:39 PM
3

Depends. You turning it down because you really aren't in the mood or because you think it's some "abundance milestone?"
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/21 03:32 PM
2

The phrase that stuck out to me is that mostly I was just young. I suddenly just felt compassion and empathy for that kid that I was all those years ago. He did the best he could with the knowledge he had. It's not fair for me to judge him with the benefit of hindsight, even though I'm living with his decision. The resentment and anger for his decision to get married just dissolved. It's just not there anymore. I didn’t do this consciously; I had no intention of forgiving myself. It just happene…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/21 06:43 PM
1

It may very well be that you really do want those things. The point of my comment is not that I know I'm correct, but for you to give it some thought. That's work only you can do. It's your path. Don't let me tell you that you do or don't want those things. But I've seen enough in myself and others that causes me to question it.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/02/21 12:32 AM
4

I am not sure what her game is here, but she has been extremely sexual with me Wants to keep you on a rope. and being an emotionally unstable dick that gets triggered and angry constantly. Could it be that my reading RP stuff and focusing on upping my alpha was actually an escape from admitting my beta sucks, which was part of my core identity, and something I couldn't admit as easy as lacking alpha? Being "alpha" has nothing to do with being an unstable dick that's constantly angry.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/21 04:38 PM
2

Blaming, stop displaying low value, stop being a victim. Despite knowing that I'm unattractive, I still find myself blaming her for not fucking me like I want. Where can this blame be coming from? The only source I could think of is that I have a covert contract that says she owes me sex because we are married. Now that I'm consciously aware of this mistake, I'll see if the impulse to blame continues. So far, anger and resentment have been very reliable indicators of covert contracts. You're pro…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/21 04:00 PM
2

Should I be disappointed in this compromise? I don’t think so. I’m still wrestling with it a little. I’m dealing with an individual woman on some level that is just flawed, like me, and I can either accept this person as they are – knowing I have the ability to change anything – and actively choose to just accept the flaw. I have reached this conclusion. Something we don't talk about enough is learning to accept things as they are and be happy (positive) about them. I think one of the last thing…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/02/21 03:52 PM
6

It's largely on you to create that desire, so re-frame it in your mind. Right now you're passively expecting to get something from her. Probably a covert contract. Are you worthy of her desire? Are you showing her YOUR authentic desire, or playing some game with her where you do X and you expect her to do Y? She sees through that shit.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/01/21 06:39 PM
2

No hobbies. Any suggestions? Don't ask the internet to tell you what you enjoy doing? Maybe you should ask your wife, though. She seems to be running everything, anyway: Finance: Garbage. Wife has control. How'd this happen? You're on the right path by showing up here, and seem to be fairly honest with yourself. Stick with it.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/01/21 06:03 PM
3

Several shitty years later… sex is maybe once a week and consists of your typical starfish special with the occasional doggy style thrown in. If I’m really lucky she’ll give up the butthole but that has only happened 5 times the whole time we’ve been together and bitches about it afterwards. She even mentioned that she would have been more keen to do it (anal) when we first got together not now; typical AWALT stuff. You're not having the sex you want to, but I'm not sure you've really defined in…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/01/21 05:51 PM
3

Yeah, not unexpected. What was a bit surprising was the fact that she actually used the word 'power'. I've certainly never used it in anything related to the bedroom. Just goes to show me how very aware she is/was of the situation. Roosh V did say in one of his books that women are much more aware of power dynamics in interactions than men tend to be. Yes, that's the reason it's hilarious. We have to often sit here and analyze, internalize, practice, etc...and they just get it, right away, witho…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/12/20 03:11 PM
4

“You turned me down last night. You think you can just try to take the power away like that?” LMAO. This is hilarious. She saw right through your power play, as we figured she would. I was met with pure deadfish. Barely anything above responding with light kisses. I pulled my head back and almost bailed a couple of times, but mentally asked myself “what do you want?” I wanted to have sex. So I continued. The clothes came off. I was met with the most starfish sex I’ve ever experienced in my life,…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/12/20 03:45 PM
7

I was a dick above to get a point across; it is good news that you have been able to lose the weight, but as johneyapocalypse is fond of saying, "motivation is bullshit, you need discipline." Just show up every day and do it. Clock in, clock out. Chop wood, carry water. Whatever metaphor floats your boat.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/12/20 01:46 AM
5

-How the hell do people get to the point where they can turn down sex even after a week of not getting laid? I really need to work on this -Getting out with friends more often You wanted to fuck, you initiated and escalated until you fucked. Why is it more complicated than that? Who cares what she said. I know it hurts your ego that she isn't enthusiastic right now, but you've been with her for 7 years and just started reading stuff here 4 months ago, and this is OYS 3. She's not into you right …
/r/MarriedRedPill23/12/20 12:52 AM
7

So I can do it Stop bullshitting yourself. This is what gets you in to the "ah, I can do it if I want, I just don't feel like it." Truth is, you can't do it. You don't have the fortitude to stick with it. Probably not the only place in your life this is the case.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/12/20 11:34 PM
4

You got rule 9d, came back, and wrote a bunch more paragraphs about her?
/r/MarriedRedPill22/12/20 11:21 PM
3

Both are great, read ASAP. Rian Stone's NMMNG videos are very helpful as well.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/20 06:20 PM
15

LMAO. I was commenting this week on dominance as well and saying I think it's inseparable from emotion, and that guys put the cart before the horse when they're trying to be dominant without first addressing the underlying issue of not having a fucking clue about how to express their emotions productively and authentically. Both of you guys highlight the same thing. Physical dominance without emotion/connection is vacuous and might as well be BJJ. Personally, if there's enough emotion, fucking c…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/20 12:49 AM
3

There was a lot of mental work required for me just to get to that point. I know, we all know. Important to celebrate those wins internally but know that few guys here will congratulate you on it. And after all, you don't need us to. Keep going. The specific back and forth with your wife was a perfect microcosm of all the mental steps that have been taken, but also the ones still to go.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/20 12:34 AM
3

I see what you're saying and it's important to feel good about the wins, and not let anyone else define those for you. But I think it was a "win" only in your power struggle against her, and maybe a win in the fact that you didn't dwell on it afterward. Just keep in mind what you actually want. Is it to "win" against her, or something more like have a vibrant sex life? Is what you did a step toward the latter, or away? Were you acting out of pride/ego, or out of authenticity for what you really …
/r/MarriedRedPill17/12/20 05:24 PM
3

What's the background on you two not having any kids at this point?
/r/MarriedRedPill16/12/20 01:13 AM
4

I had some good results initially to dominance, but when I moved to some hair pulling / trying to throw her around I got a lot of resistance. Hair pulling is almost a full-stop at this point. I think there's probably a difference between dominance in leading (which she finds attractive) and dominance in physicality (which she currently does not find attractive). Either way, I assumed I was not currently attractive enough in her eyes for the physical dominance. Frankly I don't think you can have …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/20 06:31 PM
6

There's nothing I disagree with here but I don't think it's usually a sex problem, per se. It's an inability/discomfort with emotion in general, which results in poor sex and a dry vagine. "Nice Guys are dishonest. These men hide their mistakes, avoid conflict, say what they think people want to hear, and repress their feelings. These traits make Nice Guys fundamentally dishonest." "Nice Guys build walls that prevent others from getting too close. Understandably, this affects their ability to be…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/20 06:01 PM
2

Congrats on the sex!
/r/askMRP15/12/20 05:12 PM
7

I added some variety (had her wear my old football jersey). Do what you want, but I think a lot of guys go to variety too quickly because they think it will cover up for other stuff. In my experience, dominance and emotion rule the day. Variety is for later. But, I didn't write the book....I don't do tons of variety (a place for me to improve), but the emotion is great and as a result, we have great sex. I didn’t want to bust my nut within 3 secs of being inside her Why not? Is it literally 3 se…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/20 04:25 PM
1

Let's see it. Ass to grass bro.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/20 08:47 PM
1

Are you actually squatting 80lbs or half squatting it? I can't tell what the weight is in this video.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/20 04:12 PM
2

I have to start working on myself so this never happens again, with her or another girl. Wrong, you work on yourself so that if/when shit happens to you, or when you cause shit to happen that you didn't intend, you're resilient and not a babbling emotional mess like you are right now. Not so that you become some uber Chad that never experiences bad times. It's tough right now, we all know that. Give yourself some space to calm the fuck down.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/12/20 07:23 PM
10

It might be dumb to have a workplace "relationship" but if it's consensual he did nothing wrong. You issued an ultimatum that has led to this guy's life being possibly fucked. You may be fine with that since he cucked you - there's no moralizing here - but own it. You fucked this dude because you couldn't handle your shit. That's it.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/12/20 06:12 PM
7

Jesus Christ she's about to get this dude fired or worse? Inappropriate touching? Bro. Lawyer. Leave her.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/12/20 05:56 PM
10

If he's tickling her, they've fucked or are about to. Sidebar Lift Don't self medicate Hop in OYS weekly
/r/MarriedRedPill04/12/20 05:47 PM
2

To piggyback, your comment at the end about needing to shift the balance of power back to you tells me a lot. We all want power, but you're at a point where she's very much your adversary, and like w&s says, it's that way because she's still the main source of validation (sexually and as far as validating the power dynamic you want). It's still kind of an unhealthy covert contract: "If I behave in this way, I will be rewarded by her with the power in the relationship." You already have the power…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/20 05:11 PM
9

Don't go overboard with this, though. You're never going to have it all figured out. The point is just to get your own house in order - self confidence, vision for what you generally want out of life and what you want in a relationship/wife. Not to have the next 40 years planned out to the last detail. There are guys that have this down by 25, for sure. Only you can know. I suspect that since you're posting this question at all, though, you shouldn't be proposing soon.
/r/askMRP01/12/20 05:25 PM
25

I'm 10 years older than you and glad I didn't marry at that age. But that's because I didn't have my shit together as much as I do now. There's nothing inherently wrong/bad about marrying then, and there can be lots of advantages - it's just that most guys don't know who they are or what they really want at that age. If you do, and she's on board, then great. Do what you want. Right now you're still thinking that she's somewhat of a unicorn. She isn't. In 10 years you'll be able to find a 25 yea…
/r/askMRP01/12/20 04:54 PM
3

How's the sex, OP?
/r/askMRP27/11/20 05:03 PM
6

Either way, I know I am going to be just fine. Nice work to get here.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/20 03:51 PM
3

it made me think that maybe my wife is telling the truth - that she wants me to be my own person, be real and authentic and after waiting 25 years with false hopes, she won’t move forward until she sees real change. She's been having to explicitly tell you this? Dang, man. There's so much content here about what shit/comfort/etc (did you really read TWOTSM?)... tests are and how women NEED authenticity and congruence from you. I don't blame her for acting the way she is if she hasn't seen that f…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/20 06:01 PM
5

One development in this story: SO looking to switch jobs at her current place of employment. Has interviewed for 2 of them and did not get either. Found out today that she was offered a new role today.....guess who offered it? Yup....she might be taking a job on Chad’s team. I thought about that being the deal breaker and confronting her. But upon further reflection, if she takes that job then it might create clearer opportunities to confirm my suspicions. After all, if I am right then nothing c…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/20 05:48 PM
1

"Creating your frame by being in a woman's frame." Your example sucks, but otherwise not a bad post in concept. Sub in "I'm fucking awesome" or "I may not be awesome yet but I get it and I'm on the road to being fucking awesome" for "all women love me" imo.
/r/TheRedPill15/11/20 08:05 PM
4

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/asqi8r/depressive_and_anxious_wives_how_its_all_your/
/r/askMRP15/11/20 02:10 AM
3

https://twitter.com/zacsmall_?lang=en Goes by his real name (I think) now. Too "beard, cigar, whisky, jeeps and plaid = masculinity" for my tastes...even though I like all those things. All I ever remember from his story is him saying his wife cheated on him a while back. Others may know. I'm sure Rian does. All those dudes fell out with ADJ and I remember Hunter/whateverthefuck his name is staying on the fence, maybe he needed the money/exposure.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/11/20 11:43 PM
2

I think what you're missing that everyone wants to hear (more importantly that you need to come to terms with) is that you are prepared to leave, even if you're not quite ready yet. That you are fully aware of how fucked up things are currently. It still reads as if you think you're holding on, and things simply "aren't ideal" right now. I also think that you're bullshitting us and yourself from the start of your OYS, when you claim "got serious in August." Maybe it's true. But it's also a way f…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/11/20 06:24 PM
1

I don't think it was that bad, but I understand what Blarg is saying. The reason you said it was to directly punish her at worst, negotiate desire with her at best. Frankly it was a pretty funny move by her to say that to you. It's a light-hearted comment while still being a power play/shit test. She likely wanted to play a game with you, and you made it serious. Maybe fucking was never on the table, but you definitely ensured it wasn't.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/11/20 05:37 PM
2

Completely agree. All the behavior is unacceptable, and not in a "I'm red pill and I won't stand for it" type way, but just a normal human decency type way. She's treating you like absolute dog shit OP. Why do you think she wants "her night" where you aren't allowed to eat at the table with her and your kids (my god I really just typed that)?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/11/20 05:23 PM
2

I'm just going to keep asking you the same question every week: What's keeping you from leaving?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/11/20 05:21 PM
3

On the other hand if we can't get a little satisfaction out of a hot 23 year old flirting with us, not sure what we're even doing here.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/20 10:36 PM
5

Same. Doesn't add up. It doesn't suck. There's just something wrong with the equation "192 lbs and 15% bf = those lifts."
/r/askMRP09/11/20 12:24 AM
3

Maybe he inherited a 1250 sq ft house in LA that's worth a mil.... That's about the only thing I can think of.
/r/askMRP09/11/20 12:22 AM
3

Might transition to weights someday when covid is over but for now I'm still feeling challenged. Aw, I'm sorry. You should probably keep doing the bodyweight exercises then, and keep fooling yourself that you're actually doing something. This whole thing is about HER and a victim puke. I get that it sucks bro. I get that it's hard to even eat food because you're anxious and feeling like ass. But she is using you in a toxic way. You are her puppet. She has zero respect for you. And you probably d…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/11/20 06:11 PM
1

How much is their fault? That's the shit I'm digging through right now. They really tee'd me up for a life of betadom. Many of us on here were. The blueprint which I was raised by is the one of supplicating father and tyrant mother. Now that I have a much better blue print, it's most certainly my fault going forward. However, this does not negate the fact that I want to plow through this childhood bullshit so I can properly dispose of these demons. I operate much more effectively if I understand…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/11/20 06:50 PM
2

My question was entirely disingenuous to see if you are doing all this (including saying the right things this week) for her/for the sex. Now this is not disingenuous: re-read your answer and see what you think. Sooner you can stop dancing the better. It might take time. And it probably never fully ends - we all seek validation to some extent. But orient yourself from the start. This is about you getting respect from YOU.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/11/20 06:43 PM
2

Where do you hope to get to re: your relationship with your wife? How's the sects?
/r/MarriedRedPill05/11/20 03:25 AM
2

PERSONAL: Still working through childhood bullshit (manipulation, tyrant mother, bitch father, etc.) So how much of your situation is their fault, you reckon? The amount of excuses I've given myself over the last 2 years. Absurd. The male hamster is real. YOUR male hamster is real. YOU have been hamstering. Own it. It's incredible how a week of being back in here, putting in the work, planning and re-orienting myself makes such a difference in how I feel and operate. I'm already seeing different…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/11/20 08:01 PM
2

I have a huge issue with this, because I see no difference between the forceful parent and this example. Everything comes down to: "Do this, because you should." But why should success be measured objectively? And beneath that, why should productivity be a measure of that? Why can't it be happiness, or fulfillment? Until I can find an answer that is congruent to these kind of expectations, I don't see any point to conform to these "shoulds". At least not for now. Maybe it's going to take me a co…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/11/20 07:42 PM
3

exotic sports car Doesn't stop you from wanting stuff, but damn it is fun to drive.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/20 05:08 PM
2

Nothing to add this week except that you should escalate with those friends/neighbors. Can you go lift with the one dude? Feels like a big opportunity to be honest. Could completely change things for you.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/20 04:24 PM
3

I experience severe anxiety daily. I flood in nearly all interactions with my wife, boss, sister, and numerous other situations. I have had panics but does not seem to reach that extreme for a while. I have had these anxiety issues for about 2 years. I have tried medication and therapy and no longer do either one of those things. The biggest issue is that I am scared of the strong physical feelings the anxiety brings on so I stick myself in a negative feedback loop. The other issue is that I bel…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/20 04:18 PM
3

I never said you should leave her. I said something very different, and the "schism" in your mind is only there because you aren't seeing the difference. I don't plan on leaving because: * - I'm still a mess. And I have a long way to go. I'd be much more delusional on my own. So you're afraid. That's fine. But let's not try to couch it in: I believe leaving before I've cleaned up my side of the street, especially since I'm the one that fucked it up from the start, is weak. It's like walking off …
/r/MarriedRedPill30/10/20 04:41 PM
17

I think a lot of this is you beating yourself up and being too far in your head. It's like you've moved from your wife's to MRP's frame, but still not your own. Nobody here can tell you what to do to be congruent to yourself - there is a lot of wisdom here but at the end of the day, all the wisdom is just a tool to help you get what YOU want. It doesn't define your values. Guys like you - the ones that are overly analytical and struggle with toxic shame, self-loathing, etc...you're in absolutely…
/r/askMRP29/10/20 10:14 PM
6

God damn that's a lot of words about sex with your wife. You're desperate.
/r/askMRP29/10/20 04:15 PM
2

Man I am still a bit weirded out by your timeline. 7 weeks ago you did your first OYS with a much different tone than the last 6, and quoted a convo with your wife that she told you she wanted to leave and take your kids. Now things are just tip top. All your OYS have some kind of giant humblebrag (to be fair, your "stats" in most areas are good): from your salary, to your burger story above, to saying that at least you're not like the other losers on here (and your post below explicitly declari…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/20 03:01 PM
2

I've commented on a few of your posts and followed you for several weeks now. You need to start accepting the idea of life without this woman. You give way too many fucks about it. I think it's weighing down every aspect of your life. You are doing all sorts of mental gymnastics trying to figure out what will fix your relationship, how long it will take, etc...she is on a pedestal, or your blue pill fantasy of a relationship is. Your relationship has been fucked for so long (from the beginning, …
/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/20 01:43 AM
8

You need to go through your anxiety in real life, not read a book on how to do so. Going to the gym and learning to not give a fuck what the people there think of you will be a big first step for you. If I were king I wouldn't let you post here again until you proved you did it. It's that important for a multitude of reasons.
/r/askMRP28/10/20 10:07 PM
2

I think leaving the table was enough, or whatever it is you choose as your initial boundary enforcement. To actively blow off her attempt at mending the fence reeks of being butthurt, vindictive and treating her as an adversary. From what you say, she's stressed at work, taking care of 3 kids, probably taking care of an injured husband, etc...if she realizes a mistake, admits it to you and apologizes, I think your frame has to be welcoming enough (and your self image strong enough) to accept it …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/20 08:39 PM
2

As you said, you started late - and I think you implicitly agree with /u/weakandsensitive , as it seems you took the time to get advanced degrees (raising your floor), etc....~50 years old making ~150-200k (if you're in a low cost of living area) that allows you to have some luxuries and be very comfortable while still saving a bundle is very different than what I've observed as the goal/demographic of most within FIRE. So YMMV and of course I have to generalize to even talk about it. My thought…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/20 06:29 PM
1

An hour later she came back all smiles and nice voice and apologized for nagging. I blew it off and did my own thing for the rest of the night. What do you mean you blew it off? Like you didn't accept it?
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/20 04:12 PM
2

It's a fine choice if you're truly doing it from a place of authenticity. My comment seems to have hit a nerve as it's resulted in an insinuation that I need the validation that comes from material wealth, so I'll continue to be skeptical about motivations here. At the end of the day, the point is simply to ensure necessity isn't being made to be a virtue. Only you can answer that.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/20 04:07 PM
1

I agree with this (also, I like to live a little instead of saving everything for later in life - never seen the point of that). Separately, the thought of someone "retiring' at 35-40 years old when they are near the prime of their working lives with full capacity is such a fucking waste. I understand people not wanting to be a corporate slave every day, but as you said, a more fulfilling solution is to get better, not try to opt out of life. When you get to a certain level either in the corpora…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/20 03:43 PM
2

I made friends with the water test guy who came down to my house yesterday. We've been texting. He really cared about my break up situation. How sweet. We'll see you next week when you stop feeling sorry for yourself and start StrongLifts.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/20 05:59 PM
0

Yep, that's why I asked. It's getting too hard.
/r/askMRP23/10/20 05:31 PM
4

the penis enlargement ones?
/r/TheRedPill23/10/20 03:05 PM
1

body stats/lifts?
/r/askMRP23/10/20 02:50 PM
7

Not sure I agree with the life opportunity/partner dichotomy. Sure, women have more freedom if they are self-reliant. That statement assumes "freedom" is the ultimate goal of their life. Maybe it is. But, I do agree with your implication and others above. Too many men that are entitled without having done the work of being a really good option for a woman, whether that's as a romantic partner, financially, or otherwise. Men are a luxury good now. Women can do lots of things men can that they cou…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/20 06:23 PM
2

Strong butthurt feelings about her not spending time with me/no kino from her. Yeah it sounds like you still have a scoreboard/covert contract in your head about this kind of stuff. You're still doing things to prove yourself to her, and get things from her. How often do you take what you want, or initiate the "spending time/kino" as opposed to waiting for it from her (and probably being butthurt when she doesn't magically know that's what you expect)? When I find myself in that mindset of feeli…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/10/20 06:21 PM
1

Best thing you can do is continue to OYS and take the shitstorm that is coming from the guys here. You probably need someone with more balls than me. /u/hornsofapathy if he has the time. Only thing I'll say: I think before I can get her in my frame "Get her in my frame." Even that is in her frame. Your frame is your frame and she can enter into your strong, warm, welcoming frame if she wants. If not, fuck her. Plenty of fish in the sea for a high value man, right? Right?
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/20 03:40 PM
4

One week in on TRT and already feeling better. I’m sure this is mostly a placebo effect, but I’ll take it. It's not. Welcome to your new life. With that said, most guys experience a honeymoon phase. Take a look online if you want, but it's not that important. Oh, sweet validation...how you come roaring back when I'm given scraps from the table. Suppressing my need for external validation will be a focus. Dude, take a W. It's fine.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/20 02:50 PM
5

Marriage not on the rocks – have not heard ILYBINILWY or anything close to that. Just living completely in her frame including rampant disrespect, fear of upsetting her and having her “go off” on me, etc. You've been fairly honest throughout the rest, it seems, but to start out with this statement at the beginning trying to set the tone of "hey guys, it's not that bad!" has me skeptical.Stop bullshitting yourself. She has zero respect for you. You've let it get here. You're fat, out of shape, do…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/20 02:34 PM
1

Yikes. https://i.imgur.com/yoVkgVj.png Post this first thing tomorrow morning, or whenever the weekly OYS begins. You'll get better feedback that way. Warning: strap yourself in, hoss. It's about to get ugly.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/20 09:49 PM
1

I mean...at least you're being honest, dude. Just keep reading, posting and doing the work. Too much to comment on. Make your next one way shorter and more focused, but this one is nice for reference later. Only thing I'd say is forget about the "I'm not a man" stuff. What do you want to do with your life?
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/20 07:18 PM
2

Just listened to some of this - wanted to offer perspective on the ILYBINILWY issue and debate about what guys "should do" afterward. I don't know what they should do per se, but I suspect 95% of guys who say they are going to use their wife as a sparring partner (or talk about the kids) are really just avoiding the pain of walking and "being alone." So they remain in the safety of their relationship while they "improve themselves," and yeah, there probably is some improvement, but nothing creat…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/10/20 03:18 PM
1

Congratulations on the sex?
/r/askMRP15/10/20 01:26 AM
5

I also don't like that they're making you go in for it. I started out at that kind of place and it is definitely better than nothing (although they had me at 1x/week) but it was also expensive. Is it a monthly fee type situation? Even if they let you come in and get pre-filled syringes, it's still weird. You can do it yourself at home. I'd continue on with them to get started, but call Defy. I think it'll be an initial fee for consultation IIRC, but they're the best. Delivered to your door, fair…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/20 11:14 PM
4

Appointment at TRT clinic went well, 200 mg/ml / 2 weeks is the current protocol. Looking forward to how this treatment will affect me. Don't want to cause you great concern because that might be better than nothing, but if it's test cypionate, the half life is ~7 days. That means by the time your next injection rolls around in 2 weeks you will have very, very little left in your system. Lots of guys report feeling like ass on the every 2 weeks protocol (and definitely like ass on the 1x/month p…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/20 09:54 PM
3

I also caught up with the guys in my small group by sharing a thorough, honest and raw update of where my marriage was at. After hearing back from a couple of the wives in the group, I realized that I had sent the message to all the couples, not just the men. It did lead to finding out from them that every man had been previously threatened with divorce or separated. I think you need to take a step back and start over at the beginning, man. Good job on the relationship stuff this week, but it do…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/20 09:38 PM
1

My 5'3, 120lb girl lifts nearly as much as you do and she's had a total of <10 lifting sessions in her life. And she is a woman. And she eats <=1500 calories a day. This level of lifting is not "work is making me too busy" or "not eating enough." It's not testosterone. It's just not even trying.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/10/20 02:35 PM
2

What's the difference between initiate and request? I'm not sure if this is a language barrier thing, but you seem fluent in English. You've been married a long time. Remember when sex used to be "natural" between the two of you instead of a request? Or was it ever? In any event, you need to go back to the very, very basics of women/TRP if you don't know the difference between initiating from a place of strength/lightheartedness/fun versus requesting sex. Good point on the dancing. My bad for ta…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/10/20 02:31 PM
5

I wouldn't, nobody can read this shit.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/10/20 04:21 PM
1

It sounds like things are going pretty well with the relationship, which is surprising given the 2017 convo. I also wouldn't worry about the "thirsty for sex" thing (you're still worrying about what she thinks about your actions too much, perhaps...I actually think it's a good thing that she compared you to a horny teenager, as long as it was in a lighthearted way. Would be much worse if it came across as creepy). As long as you're not being an idiot about it, I think it's good to be sexual thro…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/10/20 03:06 PM
5

I requested sex Cringe. You're still totally in her frame. Sex is still a gift she's giving you. It's totally one way. She knows it. This came up last week during our weekly “where are we at” talks when she asked me, “How have you changed?!?” I gave an immediate list of a half dozen specific examples of ways of being that I had never done before AND I hadn’t done any of those things for her or expecting praise, notice or a cookie. Dance, monkey! If you really didn't do those things for her valid…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/10/20 02:25 PM
2

Follow up with us/me after your appointment. There are lots of specialists, even, that don't know what they're doing. But as always, you have to do your own homework and realize what you're getting into. It's a commitment and part of that is being fully educated. Lots of guys on forums know just as much as most doctors out there about the treatment. For me personally, no negative effects, other than having to self-inject 2x/week. But, I am with a good clinic that knows their stuff.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/20 06:09 PM
1

TRT might change your life, man. Good luck. I had a bit higher levels than you and it has been a massive coup for me in many ways over the past few years. Let me know if you need any advice.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/20 05:39 PM
1

/u/2wo2wo3hree, this also might be helpful. The whole thread is pretty good.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/20 04:56 PM
2

A lot of people don't understand the physical and mental exhaustion that comes with being that way. I know exactly what you mean. Lots of times in my life there was nothing I could do, after a lengthy social/business day, but lie down. However, I believe it's because of an overwhelming need to be perfect in social situations, or at least not controversial. Overly careful. Overly analytical. Sound like NMMNG? It is. It focuses almost entirely on avoiding negatives (fear) and having a smooth, prob…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/20 04:51 PM
1

Hm, how do you mean? That I rejected her to get back for past rejections? That's not a reason I recognise, but I might be fooling myself of course. Pretty much. The only reason you'd deny your wife in that situation (other than the fact that you really, really had something else to do) is because you want her to feel the rejection you've felt. Or you think she's controlling you and dictating the terms to you. You don't have to say no to flip the script. If she wants to fuck like a porn star, the…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/10/20 03:24 PM
1

One of the things I get caught up on is the feeling that everything I do needs to 'be productive'. Just liking something isn't reason enough, there needs to be some end game. When most of us come here, we need our asses whipped into shape. We need a heavy dose of reality and discipline. We need someone to yell at us, smack us in the face and hold us accountable. But here are the things I tell myself now: at some point you have you like yourself, and to accept the fact that if kayaking makes you …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/10/20 03:32 PM
2

For e.g. being 'dominant' - it's not that I want to actually be dominant to other people, I want to be me and just not care what they do. If dominance comes from this then that's cool, if not then who cares? I don't think it's useful to focus on semantics, but yeah, this isn't "dominance," it's more like "authenticity." Shoulds have always been a problem for me. There are two types (1) when I 'should' do something e.g. workout, because I want the outcome but I don't feel like doing it right now …
/r/MarriedRedPill30/09/20 12:00 AM
0

At present, I’m doing well and feeling decent. My goal in this aspect is to get to the root of my issues. They aren’t clinical, since, when everything is going right they aren’t there… there’s some psychological factor that must be delved into. Framing things like this is not healthy: such weak emotions My goal here is to become worthy of my own self-respect. You're never going to respect yourself if you judge yourself for feeling anxious or depressed. It will become a hellish cycle. They aren’t…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/20 04:23 PM
3

Relationship: a dominant, charismatic man who knows what he wants and leads the people around me to that Is this really what you want to be, or is what you think you should want to be? There are many flags in your OYS that scream you're too preoccupied with "shoulds" and that your values are coming from places other than deep inside yourself, from you saying it explicitly, to checklists, to boring sex. All those things tell me you're deep in your head. Shoulds – I spend a lot of time on fighting…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/20 03:11 PM
4

One day, wife asked if I'd like to cum on her tits. I was not in the mood for once and prefered to keep working. She wouldn't have that, and came at me with porn star seduction skills. Turned into a pretty nice slutty session, but I'm a wee bit disapppinted in myself for not standing my ground. You are forgetting what the goal of all this shit is (for most guys) and instead want to engage in some ego revenge fantasy type shit. Haven't read your past OYS but hard for me to imagine this is a prope…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/20 02:53 PM
2

I am a ISTP
/r/MarriedRedPill25/09/20 10:57 PM
1

I am on my second wife. I thought this relationship was ruining my life and making me unhappy. I now realize that I have been unhappy long before this relationship and it has all been my own fault. I am sorting out how things got this way and I am turning my life around. I'm here to work on myself. Mindset I have been going through life with zero self-awareness. I am in the process of reflecting on the major events in my life to try and understand them for what they really were. Vague platitudin…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/09/20 03:17 PM
1

Ah I see. It appears on new reddit on the sidebar (browser), but not old reddit. FWIW mods I don't see Rian's videos on new reddit sidebar...I do see them on old reddit. new reddit old reddit
/r/MarriedRedPill24/09/20 06:31 PM
1

There is no "completely altruistic" act or gift. Ego or validation is present in everything we do. We take these things too literally. As I see it, the point is to move away from 100% covert contract to something far less than 100%. Saying "don't seek validation" or "put your ego on the shelf" are just shorthand. As far as sharing wins specifically, I see a difference between: "Sweetie, I got a big promotion today, don't you think that's great?!?" "Sweetie, I got a big promotion today, I feel fu…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/09/20 03:32 PM
1

May be ban worthy but where the hell are the MRP rules? I've read all the sidebar stuff and don't see them. Are these just the TRP rules?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/09/20 03:25 PM
1

I don't expect you to know me by 4000 words and my shitty story telling. I can tell you that the past 4 weeks have been better. No Rambo, NO fighting in front of our kids, Great Family time, date nights, sex, and BJs and HJ during shark week. I can assure you, I'm here for the right reasons. My time is valuable and I don't want or need Validation from the internet. My tone IS better, as I have held better frame and have seen results. I appreciate your time, and based on your comments you seem to…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/09/20 04:09 AM
1

LMAO. Account deleted.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/20 11:22 PM
1

Or it was an oh shit, I bought myself shoes when I went "school clothes shopping " with my daughter and I don't want to own it so I'll tell him i bought them last winter. Yeah, and maybe it's not worth reading into all that much or making such a big deal. Not everything is some super deep mystery that needs to be philosophized over and over. That mode of thinking keeps us stuck and makes it really difficult to not give a shit, when the appropriate reaction may have simply been to just glare and …
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/20 10:08 PM
2

I can see the incongruence and felt it at the time. We were all being Jovial up to that point in the evening and I didn't want to blow it up with loss of frame or temper. So I withdrew my affection and attention the rest of the evening. I didn't feel like it was in a butthurt fashion. She saw my disappointment in her little white lie. Maybe after the kids were in bed I could have called her to the floor and reiterated my disappointment and my boundary. But this woman knows I don't trust her. Why…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/20 04:28 PM
2

I realized I was all heart, no spine before MRP. I transitioned to all spine, no heart with MRP. I have progressed quite a bit since then. It’s time for me to calibrate and find a “heart + spine” balance. Just make sure what you're calling "heart" isn't a covert contract disguised as empathy/love. Easy to fool ourselves. I'm especially skeptical that pre-MRP you was "all heart" in a genuine way. I know I wasn't.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/20 03:17 PM
3

You're trying to condition her to do what you want because you're afraid of giving her that choice. Yes, "conditioning" is about control. As you said, Nice Guy behavior. OP, her doing what you desire is a byproduct of who you are - some combination of love+respect+dread she has for you. You doing what she wants is the same. This is healthy. She's not a dog you're giving treats to. Women are able to see through the charade of conditioning (and everything else) if you're not where you want to be a…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/20 03:12 PM
2

Every single sentence in this reply is contradictory. No wonder she's fed up.
/r/askMRP21/09/20 05:53 PM
2

You feel disrespected and it bothers you because deep down you don't think you're worthy of that respect, and her holding up that mirror to you hurts deeply. As a human, you are worthy of that respect. And she probably gave it to you for a long time, until you proved to her that you don't deserve the benefit of the doubt anymore. That's why guys here will tell you to own your shit and fix yourself instead of her. If you do that and she's still disrespectful all the time, well, that's her issue.
/r/askMRP21/09/20 05:04 PM
1

I have no clue if you were wrong to tell her not to yell, I wasn't there and I don't know your dynamic. Her yelling at/disrespecting you in that moment was probably not about the things going on in that moment. It was about all the other shit in your relationship. Contrary to popular belief, women are not idiots and there's usually a rationale for the things they do. Saying AWALT and that she's irrational and her tirades aren't justified is you not taking ownership of your role in this. The othe…
/r/askMRP21/09/20 04:18 PM
2

She was cooking some steaks I'm all for women doing most of the cooking, but you cook the steaks, bro. (Of course you don't have to cook the steaks, maybe your girl is a world class cook or whatever, but I'm betting this is one of many things you've outsourced to her that's led her to act this way toward you)
/r/askMRP21/09/20 03:17 PM
3

I didn't say they were. There are a couple ITT acting like 6 figures is a king's ransom that would allow one to have a harem of women. Thats not true even in more affordable states. Feels like teenagers talking about money.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/20 09:55 PM
4

How old are you guys? How far do you think "6 figures" goes in a city like LA/NY/SF?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/20 05:27 PM
2

My problem is that I am over qualified and have done my bosses job before. I know the answers, I know how to run the company and I can save the place. I am coming across riotous with regards to the safety and arrogant with regards to running the company. I will never get a promotion here and that is OK. I seem to be incapable of STFU in this area of my life. Assuming this is actually your problem and you're not delusional, I'm sensing that you probably don't play the game in any area of your lif…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/20 02:01 AM
1

Unfortunately I don't think it's vulnerability. It's seeking validation and approval (I was at rock bottom, look how much better I am now! I get it!). OP is in no position to advise anyone but that's what he's been doing in this post and others. He conveniently left out this entire story of his OYSs. I appreciate that this place is for sharing notes, but OP...there's something else going on with you, here. Even the self deprecation feels...off.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/09/20 03:12 PM
3

Most of us have been there, where our actions were a result of fear rather than a reflection of what we really desired. You didn't want to be alone, did you? That's what I take from you jumping right into another LTR, and not cutting bait sooner with the old one. But yeah you should link this post to all your OYS's IMO. Much needed context.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/20 10:28 PM
2

5 hours? No thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/20 08:41 PM
4

So...this story should've been in your OYS. My god dude. WTF was your hamster telling you was happening?
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/20 07:53 PM
5

Relationship –I catch myself needing sexual validation a lot. To overcome this, I have been focusing attention on my frame, and learning to adjust my game as a priority. Since I have started MRP (about 6 weeks) sexual frequency has not increased, but sexual intensity has. STFU has been a miracle worker A note: you speak about sexual intensity as if it's something that just happens, or that your wife is responsible for. Of course you have to have the lead up in making yourself attractive, but you…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/20 03:46 PM
2

That it was the main takeaway is the evidence of its truth.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/20 03:27 PM
2

Glad you clarified your lifts as I had you pictured as a tub of lard squatting a pair of 25s. You seem to have a pretty open mind, which is good, you'll need it. Nothing else to say other than I think you need to really focus in on that savings account. I know it's tougher with kids but you gotta have some cash to fall back on. $5k won't cut it. The good thing is you can usually cut out some usual suspects that will save you money and also improve your life: too much alcohol, fast food, restaura…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/20 10:28 PM
2

Ding ding. But it's "so much easier with her!" according to his last OYS. OP, you aren't gonna get much validation here. Nobody gives a shit. You don't need to tell us your foot is on the gas. Just drive. I am glad you're saying these things, though, as you're gonna get a little roasting, but it'll be a very important roasting as you dive into this next relationship.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/20 10:23 PM
1

Dude you sound like you hate yourself. I know some of the guys here like to see guys calling themselves faggots instead of being proud of some shitty accomplishment, but you're past that point. Start piling up some small wins and be proud of them (no, picking a training program that you will likely quit by next week's OYS isn't one of them. Just do 5x5 of the big lifts and stop bullshitting yourself and overthinking it.) Are you working right now or are you using "I guess I'll go back to school …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/20 09:50 PM
3

The phrase "got sex" should be banned.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/20 08:28 PM
1

That's not really my point. It's not about AWALT, it's about the fact that even though she might be better suited to you, you still have to do the hard work. It's not about always having your guard up, it's being the dude who doesn't need to. Your OP made it sound like you think because you've found this girl, who's so different from your ex, you can relax and coast a bit. You can't. You may feel like you're more able to thrive with her by your side, and that's great. But don't confuse the two.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/20 06:48 PM
9

Intent is even more flagrant as she is literally saying "I shouldn't have married you." I know it's easier said than done OP, but this cannot be saved. How long do you think she's thought about [farmer boy]? Probably every fucking day of the last 25 years of her life. You can't fix that in 25 months. The sooner you come to terms with this, the better. Your life will be (probably already is) miserable with this woman. It grates on your (already low) self esteem every single day, doesn't it? Ask m…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/20 06:19 PM
1

I hear you. Make sure you aren't normalizing your "normal" weight/body comp. I'm the opposite. If I didn't do shit and ate whatever I'd be a gross, weak skinny fat 155-165 lbs. As far as the "she" I think it's fine to talk about how she's different from your old girl, but it also can give you a false sense of what's up because you think you've finally found someone who's "different" and who just "gets it." Perfectly possible this girl is much better suited for you but even so, nothing is easier …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/20 02:40 PM
3

lifts are squat 110 3x12 Rows 110 3x12 Bench 110 3x12 DL 175 3x12 ohp 100 3x12 going back to my "natural" resting place of 220 which it seems to be my normal maintenance when i don't care too much about what I eat or do. If those lifts are in pounds and not kg, then you, my friend, are a fat ass. That's not a "normal maintenance" weight for 5'7". You even imply this when you say "when I don't care what I eat or do." That's not "normal." That's drunk. currently gf is living with me and *she* has …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/20 10:53 PM
2

Good points, I hadn't read his previous ones. I mentioned floundering from experience. I'm plenty committed in the gym, but out of it, I'll start bulking, weight goes up, then I get some belly fat and bail because of how it looks, and go back to maintenance+tiny surplus (it's also a rationalization because that's easier, and I fucking hate feeling full all the time). I thought it's more dangerous to tell a skinny fat-ish guy to cut, he'll see his lifts go down/stall and get discouraged. I rememb…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/09/20 12:25 AM
3

You are between 15-17% BF and you think you need to increase mass... You don't need to worry about your weight as much as you need to worry about your body composition. Cut till you start looking good then worry about adding on some mass. Your wife doesn't care how much you are lifting nearly as much as you do. She is going to care how fat you are. There is a fat guy at my work who likes to talk about how much he can lift. Doesn't make him any more attractive. A strong fat guy is still a fat guy…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/09/20 06:02 PM
3

So basically "don't worry about that dead body in the freezer?" Outside of MRP 101, I wonder how you would advise guys to feel and act when they do become suspicious. I struggled with this in a previous LTR. It felt like it was over as soon as I became suspicious (as far as I know, it turned out to not be true, but that's irrelevant except to say that hey, it's not true all the time; sometimes we're just being insecure little bitches, which of course is the problem in the first place). Either wa…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/09/20 03:17 PM
2

As others said above, she was begging you to handle that with humor/lightheartedness. I think you're off base with the framing of #2, because when you're able to handle those things with confidence, you don't mind them in your life. When you're getting butthurt, you fixate on them and they're a HUGE deal. So you start to wonder if your life would be easier without that bullshit - you're starting to sneak in an excuse. But the deal is - it's not bullshit. It's the game. Yes, if you get to a point…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/20 11:04 PM
6

I initially suspected an affair because of the examples in your post. Then I began to actually use my fucking eyeballs...wife got botox a few weeks ago, bought a bunch of new clothes, bought new underwear that I have not actually seen her wear, spends more and more time on her phone, blocked her friends list from being displayed on FB. Everything this whole time was staring me in the face, but I wouldn't just take 10 seconds to realize what's going on. I'm not angry at her, I'm angry at myself. …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/20 10:10 PM
1

Can second/third/millionth the Defy recommendation. They are fantastic.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/20 06:25 PM
2

I think we need to be clear, as I went back and re-read Bluepillprof's 12 levels of dread post because I see a lot of us talking about "flirting with another woman in front of my wife", that he isn't saying to explicitly flirt with another woman in front of your wife. IMO that's fucking dumb. The point is that you are a competent man who has no problem conversing with (pretty) women and being charming. You let your wife's mind do the rest.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/08/20 05:07 PM
1

Would like for others to weigh in on this (paging u/HornsofApathy), but I always notice when guys say they "got" sex or "she said yes" to sex. I think it's a red flag that the frame isn't yours, even in your mind. You can't change this dynamic in real life overnight, but you can change your mental perspective. You can't suddenly start acting like you fucking her is a gift to her, but at the end of the day, that's what it is, you're giving her the best fucking energy you have to give (given that …
/r/MarriedRedPill29/08/20 04:43 PM
1

$60k CC debt/2021 goal of 30% utilization. Stay on amortization schedule. Dang, you're under 30, how'd this happen? Also I think saying "sex is important to me because it's a biological need" is kind of a shitty answer. Sex is important to you because you want to fuck. Own it. Saying it that way is still saying "not my fault, don't blame me!" At some point you can start talking about how connected you feel when you fuck her (TWOTSM stuff), but that might be out of character at this point.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/08/20 12:31 AM
3

Yeah, very vague. At this point it's more important to own it for your own sake rather than trying to "figure out what happened with her." As much as "AWALT", there are usually decent reasons for their actions within a LTR/marriage. SBIII above said it all, I'm just piggybacking and pressing the issue. Forget about the vetting and the financial stability. Women don't dry up due to a lack of financial stability. What specifically did you do/not do over the past 6 months?
/r/askMRP25/08/20 05:02 PM
6

You seem to be obsessed with dread. I bet it comes off as butthurt to her. I think you need to re-frame this "my way or the highway." All the guys above have told you it's not going to work. She can see right through it. I don't really think you want to get this girl back, out of any reason except fear (we've all been there), but the way to do so is the same things you'd do if you were leaving. If that doesn't make sense to you then do some more reading.
/r/askMRP25/08/20 03:01 PM
5

Did you? What are they?
/r/askMRP25/08/20 02:56 PM
7

covid left us with housing and employment issues, it was a very bad time in my life Needs to be expanded on. The whole post but this part is about her, even his "shock" of the speed of this feels like an ego thing. Doubt it looks that way from her perspective.
/r/askMRP25/08/20 02:55 PM
2

Good shit. By "reject" I simply meant "say no" (for whatever reason). I agree the motivation/reasoning is everything. I think this is a conundrum for Nice Guys though, because sex is still primarily about validation. So the answer to "do you want to fuck?" is always yes. If I think back to myself at this precise stage, I'm not sure saying no would have ever been genuine and without malicious intent. So, we have to do the work to get to a point to where it is genuine and we have that OI. In that …
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/20 12:44 AM
2

In other words are you fucking when YOU want to fuck, because YOU want to fuck? Or are you jumping through hoops, waiting, and getting table scraps when she gives them? Would you advise him to reject her if it's the latter? Rejection feels like butthurt, pettiness and trying to teach a lesson, whereas a guy could use it as an opportunity to shift the frame by being playful/dominant even if he doesn't love the circumstance around how it started.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/08/20 03:42 PM
1

Oh my god. That thread.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/20 11:44 PM
1

Exceptions sometimes prove the rule. In this case, I know my experiences with many, many males I've come in close contact with throughout my 30+ years, and they have no reason to lie to me. They do, however, have reasons to withhold some of their true feelings from the women they get with/end up with. Also, I never brought up the manosphere :) I agree with you that most men are not shacking up with virgins or extremely low N count women But that doesn't speak at all to the preference they hold t…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/19 01:38 AM
1

Just as it makes you feel better to think there are men out there that really don't distinguish between 5 and 25 partners prior to them. To be clear, though, "not minding" something is very different from preferring it. If a dude's best option for sex/relationship is someone who's slept with 30-50 guys before him, well, of course he's going to "not mind." I do get your point that there are some guys who don't mind, of course. The vast majority care, though, to varying degrees, and the important …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/19 08:33 PM
1

All that stuff is very important and very advantageous for a relationship. Nothing is as important as her having not ridden the CC, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/19 07:56 PM
2

Eh. Do you know Rollo personally? I agree there is a stark difference between he and Anthony.
/r/TheRedPill11/06/19 08:08 PM
1

Please tell me more about my income, Nicolas. In any event, value is somewhat independent of income, past a certain point. I don't see the value in this "conference" at that price point. I understand this is a generally accepted price point for conventions. I don't think that most of the men at this convention are authorities on much of anything, therefore I don't see the value. You can disagree - that's fine. Have you attended one? Or do you pay Ivan Throne (lol) and the like $500/hour for thei…
/r/TheRedPill11/06/19 03:57 PM
3

You can see it in his face. He's bland, he has dead eyes. It's like the thousand cock stare but for men.
/r/TheRedPill10/06/19 04:16 PM
1

I don't idolize him, and it's not about lifting. It was stream of consciousness comparison between a man that has done/seen a lot in the real world, seen how the real world is, and a guy that writes philosophy under a pseudonym. I like Rollo, or whatever his real name is, and perhaps above I'm doing him a disservice. I own all his books in paperback and audio. I'm just making a distinction. Feel free to disagree.
/r/TheRedPill07/06/19 07:12 PM
3

I wasn't trying to be pedantic. I think you are by boiling down what I said to "why do anything?" I'm actually asking you what the value is. The value of a concert is different for different people. Some like the feeling of the crowd singing along. Some like to just do drugs and see a band perform. Some like bands that do their songs differently (plus, concerts are not $2k). I understand there is some value to seeing these guys. My opinion is that it's not nearly $2k, just as it wouldn't be wort…
/r/TheRedPill06/06/19 09:45 PM
-2

You're not wrong about them. Those that can't do, teach. Applies to all of us here debating shit on this and other subs, too. You know who the alpha males are? Jocko fucking Willink and dudes like him. Not "Rollo Tomassi" or someone who has "Dream" as a middle name.
/r/TheRedPill06/06/19 08:07 PM
3

I think small groups is a better forum. Even if they were paid, and had one or two speakers.
/r/TheRedPill06/06/19 08:03 PM
6

What's the value of the $2k, though, if the talks are released for free? And really, all the ideas in the talks are in the sidebar, free podcasts, or the materials of each of the speakers. So what am I getting for $2k? The only thing I see is the opportunity to meet like minded men. Sorry, I don't want to travel across the country and spend an additional 2k for that. I'll create/join a meetup.
/r/TheRedPill06/06/19 08:00 PM
0

I fail to see why my sexual attraction to, all else being equal, a woman of 24 being a level 10 and my sexual attraction to a woman of 35 being a level 5 would constitute being shallow and immature. It feels pretty hard wired, to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/19 09:05 PM
3

Not sure how you concluded that when I added "IMO the same could be said for men, though, regarding sticking to their commitment(s)." I don't see anything wrong with it as a concept, either, but I do think we're gradually moving toward being more selective, which would mean later marriage (if at all), and I'm not sure that's a good thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/19 09:03 PM
2

The fact that young couples divorce at a higher rate may be part of the same "problem" that is being mentioned. If I read him correctly, he believes women should select earlier and have more of a commitment to that selection. Right now we are on a path to marriage meaning not a hell of a lot, and the same with non-marital commitments. Perhaps that's unavoidable in the long term. But I do think there's a lot of good for selecting someone and sticking with it as opposed to feeling the grass is alw…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/19 08:39 PM
1

One of us showed our true colors here, that's true.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/19 03:03 AM
1

LOL. Just have no idea what graduate degrees ought to have to do with this conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/19 04:27 AM
0

Graduate degrees = healthy relationships y'all.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/19 04:12 PM
1

Fair enough. I disagree, but that's fine. No biggie. But btw, it doesn't matter if it's common knowledge to her. Obviously it is, because she's read the data. The whole point is to wonder whether it's a reasonable expectation that everyone else has, as well. If you're claiming that, on this sub, it is common knowledge, I can't disagree with you because I don't spend a ton of time here (I do spend some, though). But the guy asked for proof (so it's not common knowledge to him) and is basically at…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/19 07:48 PM
1

You are equating gravity and the color of the sky with "men cheat more than women as they get older" as things that are common knowledge? Thank you for the passive aggressive LMGTFY link (even though what you googled for me is not, actually, the assertion that needs to be checked). Edit: Look how much more time has been wasted, for both of us, than the few seconds it would have taken for the original to copy and paste their link. Edit edit: Here's one https://ifstudies.org/blog/number-1-in-2018-…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/19 06:47 PM
2

"Despise kids" is a weird thing to say...
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/19 05:35 PM
2

It depends what the work is. I think it greatly affects a child if both parents are at work until 5-6:00. I would much rather my child's mother pick them up from school and be with them instead of a nanny. This also helps ensure that the family has dinner together, which I also believe is important.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/19 05:32 PM
0

The person asserting it should be on the hook for providing the proof - frankly, the proof should be provided alongside the assertion in the post, or some explanation as to why it isn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/19 05:28 PM
6

Some men also want to have and raise families.
/r/TheRedPill03/02/19 07:13 PM
7

You're completely ignoring the implication that the woman cheated on the guy or doesn't want his genes. That's very different than having a child that's not yours because you're infertile.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/18 07:59 PM
2

The basically, 99% definitive statement to be made here is that women absolutely do not like needy men. Anything else is probably specific to the individual. Some like aloof, some like a middle ground.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/18 10:03 PM
3

Well said, both times.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/18 09:54 PM
2

A Victoria's Secret model walks up to you, tells you she just needs to blow off some steam and is wondering if you'd like to go back to her place, you're saying no? My point is, have you ever actually been in that situation, or is "actually getting to know her as a person" something that conveniently lines up with the fact that women want the same with respect to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/18 09:46 PM
0

So a hot girl walks up to you on the street, says "you're cute, wanna have some fun?" Your response is "sorry, I don't yet know if I like you." Color me skeptical.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/18 09:09 PM
13

The Sisterhood will always show solidarity for, provide cover for, or aid and abet a woman trying to optimize Hypergamy,…unless that woman is in direct intrasexual competition with her for the same optimization. https://therationalmale.com/2018/10/23/past-indiscretions/ u/Rollo-Tomassi
/r/TheRedPill26/10/18 06:12 PM
1

All you need to know: https://youtu.be/rTEJiLvKOfQ?t=636
/r/TheRedPill16/10/18 07:43 PM
2

I understand and agree with your point, but I don't think they "used to get it for free." Edit: you know what, this is a big rabbit hole to go down, which will include way too many generalizations. I get what you're saying. But I do think it's typically, historically, been more meritocratic than you're implying.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/18 07:28 PM
3

Yep. Ask any of those women with less fit and/or shorter men if they'd be less attracted to their partner if they got stronger and/or taller. We all know the answer to this is ~0% would say "yes."
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/18 07:23 PM
5

Usernames checks out.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/18 07:20 PM
8

Are those 2 really what women mean when they say "Dad bod?" I don't think that's the common understanding. Those guys are beasts. Frankly it seems like you are over generalizing. How can one compare the first guy above with DiCaprio below and say those are both "dad bods." The term is meaningless if both men fit that description. Vox described them this way: https://www.vox.com/2015/5/14/8607369/what-is-dad-bod Pretty far away from the dudes above.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/18 09:10 PM
2

Yeah, that's life, bro. Nobody said it was fair. And honestly, the sooner you get over it and stop hurting about it, the more attractive you'll be. Not putting women at the center of your life's goals would probably help, but it's easier said than done. But, that unfairness is also a reason why I will argue for my right to my preferences in the sexual arena (as if this should even have to be argued for). We're already almost totally subject to the woman's imperative. Now I'm being oppressive by …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/18 08:03 PM
2

Oh, to be clear, I didn't really disagree with your post that I first responded to. I was just sort of saying it's OK to think there's something wrong with the CC. That is your opinion based on your life's experience. Because it seemed like you were trying to stay in the middle with "There's nothing wrong with it....but it does bother me." The other purpose of my response was to assure you that just because you haven't had success in the past doesn't mean it won't get better. It likely will. I'm…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/18 07:48 PM
1

I mean...what's "morally" wrong is completely subjective IMO. So it's not even useful to go there. It seems like what most on here are concerned about are the actual consequences, and why guys might be reticent to partner up with someone with a sexually promiscuous past. And if those reasons are "valid." Whatever that means. I would prefer someone who didn't have a past of drug use, even though I don't find drug use "morally wrong." And most would tell me I'm perfectly valid in that preference. …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/18 07:29 PM
5

It doesn't really sound like you're very open to having your view changed.... You have a bunch of guys here telling you outright that they don't want to take the risk on a woman who has recently gotten off the CC. A woman who has been promiscuous in the past is more likely to be promiscuous in the future. You have proven that you valued promiscuity for a long time. What you're asking a guy to do is risk everything on the belief that you really have changed and will never relapse - because a sing…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/18 07:02 PM
2

I do think it means less the further a woman is removed from that time period. But if you're 28 and you just got done with 10 years of whoredom, I don't want to be the guy to take a risk on you in an LTR.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/18 06:53 PM
2

No. All men care about n-count when it comes time to get into a relationship. At least, men that are worth much.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/18 06:51 PM
5

If it bothers you, then that likely means deep down you believe there is something wrong with it. Also, how old are you? A woman's sexual peak is at a much different time than a man's. Hence, the OP had her fun during her peak when she could attract the best guys possible, and now that she's likely not wanted as much, she settles down. If you have your head on straight and you're young, your value and success will only go up for quite a long time into your future.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/18 06:47 PM
11

There are other humans that will know/remember what you did.
/r/TheRedPill24/07/18 08:40 PM
1

The final point I want to talk about is: In order to have a healthy relationship, you have to be a healthy human being first. A healthy human being doesn't use sexual strategy. You'll only ever have a healthy relationship if both parties refuse to play that game. Funny. At the risk of getting all esoteric, here, these people don't realize that "refusing to play the game" is also a strategy. "I'm better than that" is a strategy. I guarantee you this guy is either single, he played the game in ord…
/r/TheRedPill22/04/16 06:46 PM
11

It's coming to a head. There are dozens of lawsuits around the country highlighting the inevitable contradiction between Title IX and what most people think of as "due process." The universities are really in a tough spot. Lawyers want to get in on the action, of course. You know what's fucked about it, though? Who pays out the settlements when a public university gets sued? Tax payers. You and I have to pay for this shit.
/r/TheRedPill15/03/16 11:24 PM
1

Sorry if you've already answered, just let me know if so. What do you think about the contradictions between Title IX and "regular" laws? That is to say, there are a bunch of lawsuits around the nation right now, some of which claim that what was formerly classified as "due process" is delaying proceedings and resulting in discrimination. I'm most familiar with the one at the University of Tennessee. Multiple plaintiffs are alleging a rape culture, and that, among other things, the university's …
/r/TheRedPill15/03/16 11:19 PM
1

Understood. Thanks for getting back to me. I'm in west LA. Work in Brentwood/Santa Monica. Live close by. It seems almost open-ended enough that an agnostic could sort of "get by" (maybe with pantheism, or something). But, I also don't want to be getting by on a technicality, so to speak. What exactly is the rationale for requiring belief in a "higher power?" Is the word "purpose" pretty much interchangeable with "higher power?"
/r/TheRedPill10/02/16 10:45 PM
1

If you lie, then you're friendship to others really isn't true, tu sabes? Definitely, agree. I'm in Los Angeles, FWIW, so it's at least potentially a bit more liberal than some other locales may be regarding this issue. If you could ask around for me, that would be cool. I think I saw you mention SoCal in another post. Though I could just shoot them an e-mail, too.
/r/TheRedPill09/02/16 02:19 AM
5

Freemasonry How is agnosticism, i.e. "I don't know", viewed?
/r/TheRedPill08/02/16 08:32 PM
1

I could not believe there were people getting on the poster for using the word "female." What in the fuck is going on? I don't visit feminist subs/sites, or anything like that. I had no idea this was a "thing." I have never heard of this IRL. I refuse to believe these people actually exist.
/r/TheRedPill25/01/16 07:53 PM
1

To expound a little bit, he talks about how discipline equals freedom - that short term, instant freedom you think you have by e.g. eating that bag of chips, sleeping in, etc... causes many more issues down the road. According to him, the small disciplines matter. Making your bed. Getting up early. Doing the job. Owning your decisions, good or bad. Not blaming others. Planning and holding yourself accountable at every moment. Things can snowball for us quickly. It's important to focus on the sma…
/r/TheRedPill30/12/15 06:07 PM
7

I read it when it was posted, and just read it again. I don't see how my post contradicted anything in Rule Zero. I also see plenty of submissions (yours included) that do not follow the "Summary, Body, Lessons Learned" format that explicitly include those words as bolded headings with explicit line breaks. Doesn't mean that exempts me from not doing so, but it is clearly not a priority, here. My post follows that general format. Summary: Jocko is impressive Body: ...for these reasons Lessons le…
/r/TheRedPill30/12/15 05:17 PM
3

What am I supposed to "format, bitch?" You need a TL;DR for that small amount of text? It's a couple paragraphs and a few links. If you can't be bothered to read the text, don't. I don't care if you take me seriously. I'm trying to share something I've found in recent weeks, and I briefly explained why in the final paragraph. Click on the guy's twitter link and see if what he says interests you. Don't be a dick for the sake of it. I apologize if I've broken some actual forum rules, but it's only…
/r/TheRedPill30/12/15 04:34 PM
1

How old are you? I think a lot will change when you start having sex. And then a lot more will change when you have a bad break up. Then even more after the second break up. Those two things will remove lots of that pedestal. I think guys get a little experience, have a bad break up and think it's because they didn't worship enough - but it's typically precisely the opposite. And once you realize worshiping women isn't actually in your interest, assuming your goal is to have a relationship, I'd …
/r/TheRedPill30/12/15 01:49 AM
1

Alright. More power to you if that's what you're into. I'm probably in the minority in this on this sub, but it's my view that if you're doing what you want to do and getting what you want, that's "alpha", or if not, it's what we perhaps ought to strive for instead of "alpha." That is, if your posts are serious. I would wonder, though, you say you are putting your wife's happiness first, is this any way a guise for actually putting your own interests first? I guess it doesn't really matter, mayb…
/r/TheRedPill29/12/15 09:23 PM
1

Is any part of the cuckolding fetish sort of "getting it out of the way" so that you remain "safe" in your relationship? Meaning, for most people in a relationship, the worst thing that could happen is their significant other cheats on them. Perhaps you're removing that fear by proactively causing it to happen. Thus, you can never be hurt by infidelity.
/r/TheRedPill29/12/15 05:24 PM
6

Good post. There are definitely different forms of manipulation, some I would consider more sociopathic and harmful than others, but let's be honest: almost everything is manipulation, especially in male/female relationships. The "open communication and trust" bullshit is just another way to be the person you think she wants you to be and ultimately...get what you want. I've never had to give a big ultimatum in my LTR, but there have been plenty of comfort tests, i.e. "you're not gonna leave me …
/r/TheRedPill16/12/15 03:26 AM
1

I don't understand, sometimes - do you assume people (men) created gender roles out of thin air (or by force) with no regard for reality? Therefore, if there's no basis, we ought to break down those barriers? However, is it the other way around? That gender roles organically came about due to suitability?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/15 08:09 PM
5

are you not more honest with the people closest to you? do you agree or disagree that the more comfortable you are with someone, the more honest you are? and that having to be dishonest, or less than honest distances you from whoever you have to be like that with? < Sure. But I think there's a tipping point where you actually get diminished returns from total honesty, or, negative returns. We all have secrets, or silly thoughts, or slightly prejudiced views, or whatever. there seems to be health…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/15 09:05 PM
7

employers maybe, but why would i have to lie to people in my private life? do you have to?< It's not that you, or I, would lie, per se. It's just that you don't offer up all your views, unsolicited, all the time unless you're looking to pick a fight, or explicitly have a debate. Sometimes people don't like to hear the "views" behind the inevitable actions they entail, yet they still like the actions. ha, no. in fact, being honest removes a certain amount of control you can have over other people…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/15 08:54 PM
5

You would probably have to keep the "I tell everyone every aspect of my beliefs" attitude hidden from employers and SOs, too. Do you think your "honesty" is another way to manipulate (the word not necessarily having a negative connotation, here), just as you seem to imply TRPers want to manipulate?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/15 07:31 PM
6

Eh. People choose Christianity. This choice is subject to the same "moral conundrums" that choosing e.g. TRP is. And thinking that Christianity is not results oriented completely ignores the fact that, at the end of the day, a Christian's goal is to appease (god). It's self interest, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/15 07:00 PM
3

How one acts is a direct reflection of what one believes, isn't it? Especially in these circumstances: how he views women will entirely influence how he relates to them. So if she's cool with the way he's acting, she, by definition, is cool with what he believes, more or less.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/15 06:56 PM
1

How about, simply: Do what you want. What's the problem?
/r/TheRedPill21/10/15 07:49 PM
2

Exactly. Every classification is too general - that's what classifications are. If gender is too broad, everything is too broad, when you get right down to it. Why not just skip to the end and say no single word/classification can perfectly describe anyone? WTF are they fighting for? Wear what you want and do what you want to do and stop acting like you're special. It's all semantics and seeking validation.
/r/TheRedPill21/10/15 06:52 PM
20

Do what you want, man - you like what you like. I like older women, too. I think RP posters aren't looking down on post-wall women, they're looking at "the wall" as an explanation for behavior. And they're only looking down on them insofar as they behave like a woman that wants to lock down a provider rather than have a vibrant relationship, sex life, etc... At least, that's how I see it.
/r/TheRedPill07/10/15 08:29 PM
6

The most hilarious part of They should be making _____ Is there's this crazy implication that the money just comes out of the sky from some arbiter of skill, when the truth is that they're making almost exactly what they ought to because it's what people are willing to pay to see them and support them. If you think they should be making more than the men, then start paying $60-75 for a ticket to a Nat'l Women's Soccer League game or something. C'mon, pony up! They're worth it, right?!?1
/r/TheRedPill01/09/15 06:48 PM
5

He's right. The confirmation bias is simply that the sub is full of men that have been wronged. Conclusions are then drawn by these men about the women that wronged them, and like Matt says, extrapolated to all women. The problem is that the men that are with women who "aren't like that" never have a reason to visit the sub because they're decently happy in their relationships. Now, this doesn't mean that RP doesn't have a ton of insight into female/relationship nature, etc...it's just that the …
/r/TheRedPill28/08/15 05:32 PM
1

Yeah, it was a lot. No kids here. We had contemplated trying to do everything ourselves. We have a good amount of stuff, but not an extreme amount - moving from a 2BR apt to a 2.5 BR home, and we were getting rid of a lot of old furniture and buying some newer stuff. Anyway, we got our own truck but hired 2 guys to help. About an hour in, after these two guys were beautifully wrapping our furniture and putting it in the truck like they were lego masters, I looked at her and joked "thank god we h…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/15 07:47 PM
1

I recently moved, too, and it's certainly stressful on the relationship. Nice work.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/15 07:11 PM
3

Well, I'm not a BPer, which is why I didn't offer any solutions but just wanted to ask an aside based on my experiences. RP stuff would be my solution, but I think there's something to be said for helping out around the house if the isn't currently doing so. But it's important, I think, to do this with the attitude of "this is me taking care of my shit" rather than "this is me trying to do chores in order to get sex". The latter attitude only creates resentment when you don't get that immediate …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/15 07:47 PM
5

One thing I would ask the "wife" is: who, exactly, is she cleaning the house, making the bed, etc...for? I ask this because, as someone in an LTR, I'd rather live in a slightly messy house with sheets that haven't been washed in a couple weeks, do my own food prep 1-2x/week, and have time for sex, than have a pristine house, clean sheets and a hot dinner waiting for me when I get home. I've gone through periods in my LTR where sex has decreased, and the typical reason given is just that there's …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/15 04:21 AM
3

LOL I know her cycle better than she does Same here.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/05/15 05:17 PM
2

I downloaded a good app to record all my phone conversations after my car got stolen in order to record the info I got from my insurance company, and the police. Called Automatic Call Recorder. In some states for the conversation to be able to be used legally, I think you have to inform the other person of your intent to record, though. Maybe a lawyer can expound...
/r/TheRedPill10/04/15 04:31 PM
1

Myfitness pal helped me tremendously here, as well. I went from "basically eating well" to "you're god damn right I weigh out 8oz of chicken breast every day for my lunches". It's all about having a plan and making it a habit. The Power of Habit is a great read if you're interested. I think it should be required RP reading in addition to all the other suggestions around here.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/15 04:31 AM
1

I don't have enough close male friends, except for those "old friends" with which I remain very close, but not geographically. This results in more oneitis and reliance on my LTR as my closest friend, but I know a woman cannot, and does not want to, fill this role. Further, this limits my perceived options, and I'm sure limits my LTR's attraction to a certain extent. So, I'll get out there and network, join some meetups with guys of like interests, and form some closer relationships with guys at…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/15 04:21 AM
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