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View 6 posts and 152 comments by Uniquenameofuser1 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

You're still operating within a standard (patriarchal) frame here. Your underlying conception is that men desire sex, women possess it. Anyone who reiterates this framework (think female dating strategy through... Any number of other things I can think of), is inherently anti-feminist according to feminism's own principles. By which I mean, many feminists themselves are "anti-feminist." They themselves are the ones who are espousing "patriarchal" gender stereotypes and reifying "patriarchal" not…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/05/24 09:18 PM
2

I hate to break it to you, but at 16 years old you weren't a man. At 16 years old you were dependent on a fuckton of other people to keep you alive.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/05/24 07:45 PM
3

Not rape, but I was coerced into a sexual relationship with someone. So rape. You were coerced into giving what you didn't want to give with someone you didn't want to have that relationship with. If she gave a fuck about you or your wishes or desires, she would have respected your first no.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/05/24 07:40 PM
3

No, you were coerced into sex. That's rape.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/05/24 07:36 PM
1

Which time?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/05/24 07:35 PM
13

While the world erupts about arranged marriages involving girls as young as 13 (which are generally consensual and not consummated until the girl is of age) Lose this. If the marriage were consensual, it would not be arranged. If she were able to consent, there would be no need to wait for consumation.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/09/22 03:48 AM
5

Pretty much the story of a large chunk of my twenties. I went to gay/mixed clubs to hang out with my gay friends and shit just happened.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/09/22 07:55 PM
7

There was a recent post in r/entertainment about Courtney Love's new memoir. Two separate posters showed up discussing Love's penchant for sexually assaulting men at her shows.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/08/22 02:37 AM
8

Keep talking.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates25/06/22 01:09 AM
1

I think I like hooks' phrasing all the morefor this reason. This highly gendered conceit ("the patriarchy") really isn't gendered. The dissonance adds to is force.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/06/22 10:21 PM
31

I'd actually suggest that her son should be raised to be whatever her son wants to be, whether that's gay, straight, bi, a fireman, a professional wrestler, or a ballerina. Men spend quite a bit of their lives defining their self-worth in relation to other people's expectations (be they men or women) and that's probably a large part of the problem.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/06/22 09:46 PM
5

Emma Brown's recent book "To Raise a Boy" is pretty decent, though not perfect. bell hooks' "The Will to Change" is pretty good, though she often gets very close while missing the boat at other times. She's, at least, capable of examining her own discomfort when men step out of the roles that society assigns them. I think that if you spend time perusing the various threads about "What's the worst thing about being a man?" in the Askmen group, you'll get a pretty good idea of what men are general…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/06/22 09:36 PM
2

Absolutely so.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/06/22 01:02 AM
5

I'm pretty sure that they have a blanket ban on any discussion of depp/heard. This is the article that needs to be shared. https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna29742
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/06/22 12:57 AM
2

Fuck those guys. Metaphorically, I mean.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/04/22 02:20 AM
-1

"patriarchy has no gender" ~ bell hooks
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/04/22 02:16 AM
3

Tell me about titleix.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/04/22 02:13 AM
-6

Guy here. Guy who has been abused by women. Whatever caveats you want to offer. Unfortunately, while this stat sounds like music to your ears, most sample sizes are too small to support it.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/04/22 01:38 AM
1

https://yanahelps.com/blog/what-is-reactive-abuse/
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/04/22 01:36 AM
3

If you have a link I'd love to see it.. Not because I disbelieve you, but because the very little I've read from Serano, I've greatly appreciate.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/04/22 02:09 AM
1

https://www.healthline.com/health/narcissistic-victim-syndrome
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/02/22 11:52 PM
2

The saddest thing about this is that the mentality only makes sense if you view gender equality as a team sport, which is inherently sexist.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/02/22 03:32 AM
1

No, might as well invite the ban. Which many of us have done.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/02/22 03:18 AM
1

"Men are all the same" Who tells you this?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/02/22 03:16 AM
1

Whatever the current insult is, it's emotional abuse.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/02/22 03:04 AM
3

I'm left, we're trying to correct this. Your first sentence is entirely correct.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/02/22 02:52 AM
3

Even if he stopped them, he was still assaulted
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/02/22 02:51 AM
2

This. I'd still consider myself a feminist if the majority of "feminists" I spoke to held themselves to the standards to which I hold myself.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/02/22 02:44 AM
6

I'd actually say that I would have considered myself staunchly feminist until I saw how feminists refused to apply their principles to themselves. Participating in feminist or feminist-adjacent spaces has done more to "radicalize" me than participating in an MRA group could have ever done.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/02/22 02:40 AM
3

All domestic violence is wrong. Leave it at that.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/02/22 09:32 AM
8

I disagree. Once you view bodily autonomy as a basic human right, you come to understand that intent to harm is as harmful as what we currently call "harm". "Severity" isn't the metric by which abuse should be judged. Less severe abuse is still abuse. We're currently looking at 5's and saying that's not a 10, so shut up. Or 9's aren't 10's, so ignore the suffering. A 10 shouldn't be the baseline. The baseline should be zero.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/02/22 09:29 AM
2

You might enjoy Virginia Vallejo's book "Loving Pablo, Hating Escobar". Vallejo was Colombian drug lord (and political aspirant) Pablo Escobar's mistress, friend and confidant. There's a sort of absurd dichotomy implied throughout the book, though the whole thing reads like international politics as high school gossip girl power structure at the highest level, and there's an odd sense that so much of what there is to take from the book isn't about Vallejo says, but left in the negative spaces wh…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/12/21 03:54 AM
1

Nah. You're wrong. I appreciate you for you and your wrongheaded views.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/12/21 01:35 AM
1

Nah, hooks is as good as it gets. She's one of the feminist scholars to start to try to understand how women perpetuate "the patriarchy".
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/12/21 01:33 AM
1

The one bell hooks quote you need to know is that "patriarchy has no gender". For that insight alone, she's worth mourning. All of the shit that women give men, hooks insists it's as much about the shit that women expect of men as anything else.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/12/21 01:31 AM
16

You mind me asking what masculine nature is for you? It's kind of funny, but the reason I ask is that when I have expressed reservations with the way women treat me, it's often repackaged to me as "she's acting like a man." Like the only way women can act poorly is if she's acting like a man. If she's being a decent human being, she's obviously displaying her feminine side, if she's treating someone like shit, I'm just upset because she's acting like a man. It's like throwing a dart at a dartboa…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/12/21 12:59 AM
9

This is probably an extremely good lens through which to view the discussion. Quite a bit of "toxic masculinity" is simply about women dictating how/why/when men are allowed to express emotion, and shaming them for doing so in ways of which women don't approve. I actually don't find much wrong with the concept of "toxic masculinity," so much as I do with the idea that it's generally other guys that are policing this behavior. I've got quite a few male friends that I'll discuss my issues with, th…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/12/21 12:52 AM
3

You and I have common ground.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/10/21 03:21 PM
5

The viewpoint seems to be that women are now empowered enough to start beating and raping men. I am not kidding. They posit this without going in detail and they never explain what gives women the power to beat and rape men and boys now compared to the past. We're just supposed to believe that they now possess some abstract power that allows them to do it. Have they ever lacked it?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/10/21 03:14 PM
1

But you still know.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/10/21 06:23 AM
1

Neither did yours.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/10/21 06:22 AM
1

Vetting? So much for believing victims. You're not the press. You're not a lawyer. Menslib isn't shit. You've demonstrated that repeatedly.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/10/21 06:18 AM
1

It isn't? Then why the fuck was the piece of shit touching my testicles? And why the hell have you not explicitly condemned her?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/10/21 06:07 AM
1

Her book? That's great, you were handed an AMA. You chose a Duluth model specialist.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/10/21 06:05 AM
1

Dismissed? You've already accepted it. Obliquely, but directly.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/10/21 06:03 AM
1

On a scale of -10,000 through 10,000, how inappropriate or appropriate is it that (name redacted)'s hands have been in contact with my fully clothed genitalia during the execution of basic service industry duties?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/10/21 06:02 AM
1

What was their response?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/10/21 05:57 AM
1

Does menslib believe or dismiss my claim?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/10/21 05:56 AM
1

I don't see why Menslib would have a "official position" about your assult. You've never disbelieved it. I have those receipts. You've spoken up about other victims of abuse, your entire existence is ostensibly dedicated to ending .abuse (a basic feminist principle, because a basic tenet of feminism is that relationships not be coercive (coercive relationships are antithetical to consent, feminism is against rape culture)), e.t.c. You're simply demonstrating (repeatedly) that you don't care abou…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/10/21 05:56 AM
1

You've never directly answered my question that you suggest an official menslib position on both my claims OF sexual assault (uncontested) and your claims that you're a men's sub.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/10/21 05:42 AM
1

Exactly. You declined. Or you assumed the (assumed being the operative word) the prerogative, and suggested you'd get back, but didn't. Did you look into it? What was her response? What was your response? (None)
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/10/21 05:40 AM
1

I have dedicated the last 4 years of my life to generating that paper trail.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/10/21 05:27 AM
1

You want to share low-effort posts, share my "#whyididntreport(for men)" post and your responses. I'll repost that one, to highlight your negative space.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/10/21 05:15 AM
1

Dude, I'm not about to document your dishonesty. The fact that you're asking me to document IS YOUR dishonesty. There's a different comment in thread suggesting that I "came forward" to the mods of LWMA about six months back with my (nameless) claims. And that they are satisfied that my messaging is consistent and substantial. I believe I came to you about 3 years back. You're insisting that we give receipts. I'm insisting that your insistence on receipts negates your claim. On a scale of 10,000…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/10/21 05:06 AM
1

I offered to set you up with Emma Brown. You declined. Oddly enough, many LWMA posters have become angry with me for even pushing Brown's book, claiming that her stated reason for her book (I wanted to learn how not raise a monster) indicated misandry. I've suggested that this was merely the starting point on her learning process, not the end point of the book. You declined. You want to share low-effort posts, share my "#whyididntreport(for men)" post and your responses.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/10/21 04:27 AM
2

Then let's talk about it without names.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/10/21 01:26 AM
1

Downvote. Away
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/10/21 04:57 PM
1

Fine. Delete the name. I'm now random person discussing my experience.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/10/21 04:56 PM
1

And for (random city) in (whatever year), there was nothing extraordinary about the night at all. Could have been a Tuesday for all I know.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/10/21 04:51 PM
2

Nah, I've been letting their deletions (their "moderation") stand for a couple of years now. I finally pushed back and was banned.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/10/21 04:41 PM
1

I will stand by that decision.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/10/21 04:35 PM
1

Initiate Penguin's reply sums their side better than I could. I recently tried starting a "whyididntreport" thread for men, using "#whyididntreport - because when the mayor stares in astonishment as the district attorney touches your testicles during the appetizer course, you assume the adults as in the room already know what is going on. They are, after all, the ones doing it." as my personal lead. I was told it was a low-effort post.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/10/21 04:19 PM
0

How you been, babe?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/10/21 04:13 PM
1

I think the most eye-opening thing about the past 4 years has been watching my female/feminist friends do exactly that. "Dumb question, but if Franken needs to resign for sexual misconduct, how inappropriate or appropriate is it that..." It's like flipping a light switch in watching their rhetoric.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/10/21 04:12 PM
2

Dismissing us without Us? Nah, I spent 3 years trying to find my home in menslib. No without there. I was explicitly told I wasn't welcome.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/10/21 04:07 PM
1

I'm with the guy up thread, having the politician who (according to LWMA rules) will remain unnamed touching my testicles during the appetizer course was a Tuesday. 50-100 sexual assaults seems about right or on the low end.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/10/21 04:04 PM
1

Y'all struggled to parse that when dealing with a late AMA. When you have to set up a separate post to work through your AMA and why your members have every right to be upset by it...
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/10/21 04:02 PM
2

I honestly don’t see myself as a survivor or victim but on equal rules I ve been somewhat raped about 50-100 times Somewhat raped? Your consent matters.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/10/21 04:00 PM
2

Exactly. You're accusing me of making low-effort posts. 90% of the time, there's no reason why you can explain why my post is low-effort (and for the first 3 years of my participation, I did nothing to question your decisions). Nor have you offered suggestions on how to improve them. he's been sending trolling mod mail messages and when then ended up throwing a fit with several different mods in mod Was I dealing with several different mods? I generally assumed I was dealing with DB. Your mod sy…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/10/21 03:57 PM
0

If reddit don't believe me
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/10/21 05:21 PM
9

Neither. OP is asking men's rights posters to make those arguments.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/06/21 10:38 PM
3

That doesn't logically follow.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/06/21 10:35 PM
2

because feminist perspectives operate specifically from a lens in which women don't engage in dominance hierarchies, aggression (much of which is social/emotional), violence, and homophobia/transphobia/sexism etc I think I just pissed myself laughing.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/05/21 11:53 AM
2

You believe in "the wall," brother? You think there's a point in life where women's looks fade and they're no longer able to leverage male desire in their favor or for personal gain?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/04/21 09:32 AM
-1

And oddly enough, many of them find that attention about as gratifying as being reduced to an ATM (or being number 11 out of 12 on the list tonight). I'm a guy who receives quite a bit of attention from women (less so, as I age, thankfully). By the time I was 25 or so, I decided that unless someone knew me well enough to know my dead brother's name, I didn't need the attention. It's been a fascinating decision in its effects. I get attention "for existing, " by lord do quite a few people get ups…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/04/21 08:41 AM
-1

Here's a question for you - If you won the lottery, had a few million dimes in the bank, and suddenly had women swarming all over you, would you feel "inherently valued"? In a similar vein, I once watched a male friend try to pick up 12 out of 14 women in a bar over the course of a single night. Should any of these women feel inherently valued?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/04/21 07:06 AM
0

How I'd love to be a Woman and be inherently valued and have everyone pine over me. No, you really don't. And I'm a guy telling you this. I understand your frustration and actually think there's very toxic dynamics at play with the idea that you're supposed to earn other people's affection or attention, but... As a guy who generally deflects a lot of unwanted attention, I can assure you that the vast majority of that attention doesn't have fuck-all to do with me. I mean, I'm at the center of it,…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/04/21 02:53 AM
6

But there's always a weird false equivalence that any match from a woman is automatically of higher quality than a guy. The default presumption is that a guy should consider himself lucky to get attention at all, provided it's not coming from another guy... It's funny, but in discussing specific incidents from my own past with people, I've had it suggested that it would be more understandable for me to complain about "harassment", "assault" or "unwanted" attention from women if I were gay. And t…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/04/21 02:41 AM
12

Here's a pretty good interview with Emma Brown, author of "To Raise a Boy : Classrooms, Locker Rooms, Bedrooms, and the Hidden Struggles of American Boyhood". https://www.amazon.com/dp/1982128089/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glt_fabc_447T3W54N364CP1FA9SR If you're in any way concerned with men's issues (whether you consider yourself an MRA or hew closer to Menslib), especially as they're treated in America, there's probably a bit of something in here for you. The author discusses sex education (or lack th…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/04/21 10:33 AM
3

I'm not sure if this directly ties to the question, as I'm not sure I would explicitly say I cut them out of my life because of "misandry," but there are quite a few women I've unfriended in recent years specifically for reasons relating to their response to discussions about sexual assault, e.t.c. That's as much about a hypocrisy that borders on gaslighting, though. Women who were adamantly pro-#metoo who then suddenly found reasons to rationalize, excuse or minimize the same behavior if it wer…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/04/21 03:30 AM
2

That said, I am genuinely curious: is anyone else here a virgin as well, and if so, how old are you? Not me. But after after an extremely promiscuous period that ended at roughly your current age, I decided that I would be much more selective about the encounters I've followed through with (like unless I think I want to wake up next to someone, I probably don't need to be sleeping with them.) It's been rather eye-opening to see how dynamics shifted once I decided that I had baselines that needed…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/04/21 08:25 AM
2

But what isn't pointed out very often is that a stronger reaction does not mean a stronger understanding. You need proper theory of mind for that, and I posit that such reactions may even interfere with a sympathetic reaction evolving into true empathy. If they are truly the case to begin with. This is known in the literature as "personal distress." I can look at your suffering and mirror it in some form (ie. Feel physical/emotional discomfort). However, my personal distress at your suffering is…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/04/21 10:29 AM
1

Because you're conflating "heterosexual sex" and "assault" (and some feminists might actually agree with this assessment). And because you're (maybe even rightfully so, if discussions I've had with some (notall) feminists) assuming that these strictures are mainly being put in place to deal with the actions of men.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/04/21 04:40 AM
1

The basic notion of consent applies (or should apply) to men as much as it does to women. But affirmative consent and enthusiastic consent are quite legalistic theoretical concepts, and I'm not sure whether they apply in general. It's so context-dependent. I'm not sure I could say I disagree with any of this. As mentioned elsewhere, I'd suggest that our current issues with consent aren't best addressed within a legal framework. My own guess is that if you were to suggest that a man's consent be …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/04/21 04:25 AM
0

Why are you assuming you can't be assaulted?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/04/21 04:12 PM
1

That very same line of reasoning is why feminists have now come up with enthusiastic consent as the latest gold standard, going above and beyond affirmative consent. Here's a question for you... Do all of these standards apply to you? Is your affirmative or enthusiastic consent necessary?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/04/21 03:41 PM
2

I happen to think biology and behavior are overrated. But it's funny. My twenties were shit that most guys brag about. I found the vast majority of it boring as fuck. It's kind of funny, though. A keystone change for me was deciding on my own boundaries and sticking to them. It really went pretty absurdly far towards illustrating how little of the attention I received had anything to do with me as a person. Turn down attention from a woman, and lord does the shit start to fly. And it's amazing h…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/04/21 03:27 PM
2

And yes, this definitely needs to be unpacked. Though this is also the commodification again. Women possess sex, men want it, so quite a few sexual assaults aren't recognized as assault, but as women offering men attention.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/04/21 02:42 PM
2

Legislation is almost besides the point. And there's so many other angles to the question that it's impossible to lay it all out. Society probably has to come to terms with the fact that emotional abuse (manipulation, denigration, e.t.c) are inherently abusive. And men's boundaries are actually presumed to be unnecessary, specifically because we're presumed to not actually need them. I've been sitting in a casino for the past 10 hours playing cards, so I'm not particularly lucid at the moment. Y…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/04/21 02:33 PM
1

I'd actually probably take the exact opposite tack. Our problems with consent run much deeper than sex. I've actually always sort of thought the consent/tea PSA kind of funny, simply because people often will treat discussions about food (or what movie you want to see later that night) as arguments to be won. Anyone that thinks that people never force food down other people's throats had never tried telling an Italian grandmother you're just not that hungry.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/04/21 02:27 PM
3

I'm not sure how functional such laws would be (or how one goes about deciding them), but "rape by deception" actually highlights quite a bit of the ways we currently misconstrue consent/rape. We generally view consent as something like a commodity, where obtaining it from another person is key, but the how of obtaining it isn't always that important, except in especially egregious circumstances. It's an ends driven process, and generally pretty transactional in nature, instead of a means of pro…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/04/21 02:06 AM
2

Why do you view vulnerability and self-care as mutually exclusive? I can choose to care about myself enough to decide not to offer my vulnerability to people who will use that only for their own gain. I can do this while still displaying vulnerability and trust to people who demonstrate that they care about me rather than viewing my vulnerabilities as an opportunity for exploitation. Even further, I can do either of these things without looking at other people's trust and vulnerability as an opp…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates31/03/21 10:52 PM
5

We generally tend to have extremely reductive views on power (one person is powerful, another is weak). The reality is probably a hell of a lot closer to two boxers sparring in a ring, probing each other's weaknesses and trying to find vulnerabilities to exploit. The interactions themselves are still predicated on power, on competition, and on our ability to exploit other's weaknesses for personal profit, but we refuse to see it. Or when we do, we assume our own victimization (or the other perso…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates31/03/21 02:20 AM
9

There was a discussion on a different sub a ways back talking about the idea that power imbalances negate consent... A random male poster sarcastically suggested that given that logic, 60 years ago when women weren't allowed to have bank accounts, every marriage constituted rape. I don't think the guy quite understood that he'd inadvertently understood radical feminism.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates31/03/21 01:56 AM
2

As a small addendum, you might want to look into the distinction between progressive and liberal (especially if you're a poster from the US.)
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates31/03/21 01:46 AM
2

Yeah, there's a definite issue with "pop feminism" (and by proxy, quite a few of the feminists you deal with on the internet). Mainstream/pop feminism often comes off as extremely "liberal feminist" with all of the attendant issues. And quite a bit of that boils down to extremely reductive stances on gender and power dynamics. In my own experience, women who identify as rad fem are much more likely to recognize the effects of patriarchy on men or the ways in which women can be complicit in uphol…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates31/03/21 01:33 AM
5

I dunno. The times I've been friendzoned and complained, it's because I actually attempted to be a friend (most of my family is dead, I take my support where I can) and realised "friendzoned" actually meant "don't talk to me. " I've given male friends grief over pulling similar moves with women.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/03/21 10:30 AM
2

I see shitty people using sexual interest for gain, and we should help men recognize this better This is victim blaming, by the way. Right? Instead of teaching men how to avoid being abused, we should be holding abusers accountable and teaching them not to abuse.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/03/21 06:53 AM
1

And that's all this will ever be to you. A competition. Your own fascination with proving yourself the victim is nothing but another example of hierarchy in play... Your own posts indicate you're less concerned with consensus or consensual decision making process than with power.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/03/21 04:42 AM
1

100 years ago is pretty fucking modern.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/03/21 04:36 AM
1

The lack of example is because men aren't using sex to manipulate people. Manipulation is, by definition, abuse. Healthy, non-abusive relationships aren't predicated on manipulation or control. So no... I can't provide you an example of men using sex in such a fashion.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/03/21 04:33 AM
1

"The idea of sex as power/weapon is as old as time" Welcome to rape culture. Where do men learn that sex is about power? From women.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/03/21 04:18 AM
2

The fact that men don't cut women off from sex to control their behavior (president or not) probably doesn't support your point in the way you think it does.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/03/21 04:16 AM
1

Oh, it's a relationship. In much the same way that when I was sleeping with a 34 year old at 20 who told me the relationship we had was the same as the relationship she had with a pencil from her nightstand was a relationship was... It's not a healthy relationship. It's not a non-abusive relationship. But it's a relationship... The underlying dynamics of such relationships is largely why I've been single for the larger part of my adult life. I'll gladly take solitude over "relationships" predica…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/03/21 03:33 AM
2

I don't deny it happens. It's a very large part of why I left the industry. So that's your answer. And I've gladly told people off for being creepy as fuck, at the risk of tips and employment. The fact that you'll find guys that are just as manipulative or toxic as you are is in no way an excuse for your own toxicity. And I'm truly sorry that you think it is.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/03/21 03:27 AM
1

Well, as a guy who was "handsome" enough that a stripper at the club once paid to have sex with me, I might disagree with your very definitions of success. As a former server/bar worker, I'd generally forgo almost any and all sexualization of basic interactions, running in either direction. I've not had sex in a decade or two, largely by choice. And no, I generally don't attempt to leverage my attractiveness for personal gain. But I also generally try to avoid looking at interpersonal relationsh…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/03/21 03:15 AM
6

I'd argue that sex as manipulation isn't taboo to mention, it's so deeply ingrained that many people consider it white noise.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/03/21 01:52 AM
2

Let me quote Where Freedom Starts : Sex, Power, Violence, #MeToo "I do not consider sexual harassment as a gender-neutral phenomenon which women do to men as often as men to women. I would hardly deny that women can use sex in an harassing way; far from it. Sex is one of the few weapons women may have. But it is absurd on the face of it to suggest that the sexual harassment of men by women or of women by women is a social problem, any more than rape by women. For better or worse, women’s sexuali…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/03/21 01:51 AM
8

There really doesn't need to be parity. Abuse is abuse. If I stab and tell you that you really have nothing to complain about because I didn't shoot you, what would your response be?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/03/21 11:59 AM
11

Who said I oppose the movement? If anything, I think "the movement" would do well to turn their lens upon themselves. I'd probably disagree that power disparities are necessary at all for rape to occur. Here's a thought experiment for you. Let's say you're married to a woman (let's leave this in the realm of the purely hypothetical, so... doesn't even have to be you. Or your hypothetical/not-hypothetical wife)... And you realize you've got some odd things going on in the down under. You go to th…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/03/21 11:20 AM
16

In the United States, we refer to the idea that rape is only rape if explicit physical force is used a "Republican misconception about rape". That poster has an extremely limited conception of consent, and I wouldn't be surprised if she has violated other people's consent in the past with the excuse that she's too weak to really be sexually abusive.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/03/21 08:45 AM
2

Historically, women's smaller size has been used to excuse anything that might be considered sexual abuse/assault. As one woman tried explaining to me, "it's impossible for me to sexually assault a guy. I'm 5'3", he'd just shove me away. Nothing I could do would rise above sexual harassment."
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/02/21 02:26 PM
10

There are certain men that can. And it's not a universally desirable position. Find yourself a 40 year old male bartender, and ask him what he thinks about provocative behaviors from women.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates15/02/21 09:37 AM
2

It's a viable path. You're the one who defines your value and your values. Oddly enough, it's not that far from the one I've chosen. In a recent discussion on Men's Lib, I mentioned a woman I'd been chatting with on Tindr. After I mentioned where I was at with respect to my life, and how I've arrived at those values, she decided I lacked ambition and suggested I watch some Jordan Peterson videos to "help me get my life together. " I laughed my ass off at her presumption and unmatched the idiot.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/02/21 03:39 AM
1

Never heard of vegans? If that's your trip, have at it.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/02/21 03:29 AM
1

Horseshit. Daddy can tell you daddy only drinks because you don't clean your room. Or mommy can say that mommy wouldn't hit you if the system didn't force her hand. If mommy or daddy do either of these things, it's because mommy and daddy have assessed the costs and made a choice. People may try to funnel you into certain choices by imposing costs, but you can easily refuse to play.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/02/21 03:15 AM
1

And again, this only works if you allow yourself to be ruled by "the game", as you call it. Why would I define myself by my ability to attract someone who uses intimacy/a relationship as a form of control? That's not a relationship, it's abuse.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/02/21 02:46 AM
1

I think I understand what you're trying to say, but that really on works if you cede that power to someone else. If I told you you had to compete for my used toaster oven, what would your response be?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/02/21 02:28 AM
3

Full disclosure, I'm probably more "feminist" than 90% of the posters in this sub. I also think that there's a metric fuckton of valid criticisms to be made of feminism as it's currently practiced and represented (at least in my small corner of the world). In a lot of ways, I think MRA's are right about quite a few things. If anything, I think your general red pill guy is actually extremely cognizant of patriarchal expectations placed on him by society. To whatever extent these things are nurtur…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/02/21 02:41 PM
4

Asia Argento- first actress to accuse Harvey Weinstein of rape. A former costar, who was like 12 at the time they started in a film together (as mother and son) came out a couple months later suggesting that if Weinstein was out of line, Argento probably shouldn't have gotten the costar drunk and slept with him before he was of legal age (34 for her, 17 for him, I believe). Katie Hill is a slightly more US centric story. She was a millennial congresswoman elected for her first term during the in…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/02/21 01:42 PM
2

Yeah. I find there's actually something to be said for discussions of "toxic masculinity. " I grew up in a pretty abusive environment, so I'm not very fond of the use of physical force to solve problems. Even things like UFC fights just strike me as icky and overly competitive. If I wanted to watch two people try to beat the shit out of each other, I'd invent a time machine and watch my parents when I was 5. At the same time, I find your standard feminist/men's lib line to be equally restrictive…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/02/21 10:24 AM
1

I wonder how much of this is selection bias, this thread being what it is. You've got 5 upvotes so far, no one has been shocked or surprised. Think r/askmen would fare differently? :)
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/02/21 09:50 AM
1

As a guy who's received a few, they're not nearly as big an ego boost as you might believe. When I was younger, I might have been relatively flattered. As I've aged, I've taken to discouraging unsolicited attention as much as possible. Flattery itself is generally a form of manipulation, which is abusive and toxic. And there's definitely something quite insulting about the presumption that I'm supposed to lose my shit and turn into a mindless automaton if any woman comes on to me. I think that b…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/02/21 04:07 AM
1

"Scoring points" isn't quite my objective. I'm more interested in coming up with a true picture of reality.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/02/21 03:57 AM
5

Meaning the fact that isn't wasn't completely glossed over?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/02/21 02:25 AM
1

I've actually seen numerous posts in my various social feeds with female acquaintances bragging about catcalls. It's not behavior I'd engage in, but to say it never works is a misstatement. Those women may very well be a minority, and may not have the healthiest views on relationships themselves, though.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/02/21 02:20 AM
3

As a guy who has received quite a bit of "unwanted" attention, I can assure you the attention is more than annoying, it's absolutely fucking insulting. The general idea behind most of it seems to be much like the idea behind a woman suggesting that a man must be gay if he declines her advances. The general idea seems to be that because I'm a guy, I'm not allowed standards or a choice in the matter and should turn into a mindless zombie if anyone decides to come on to me. At the same time, I do v…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/02/21 02:17 AM
7

I was having a late discussion in a thread on rape of males where we were discussing statutory rape. A woman showed up and posted this... It strikes me as, she hit that age where I think we all start getting insecure about aging as women (30-ish), and had a severely bad reaction. Doesn’t justify her behavior in the slightest, but it’s also true we live in a world where women are valued first and foremost for their appearance. Middle aged women describe feeling like they literally became invisibl…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/02/21 01:59 AM
6

Yeah. As a guy who's been sexually assaulted more times than I can count (think bar/restaurant work), it's dumbfounding how blatantly manipulative and toxic (it's only flirting, you should be flattered) it all comes across as. I hate to break it to you, but when people I barely know (or even the ones I know relatively well) try to flatter me, my general response is to want to punch them. There's really nothing cute about using sex to manipulate people. And it's astounding how much effort one has…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/02/21 10:44 AM
9

Personally I think that feminism is a good thing. I cannot say the same for feminists. This reminds me of the apocryphal Gandhi quote about Christianity. "I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." There's a different quote often accorded to Gandhi that says something like "If Christians really live according to the teachings of Christ, as found in the bible, all of India would be Christian today." Both of these sentiments seem to sum up a very…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/02/21 03:38 AM
2

No, metoo's rhetoric was to "believe victims. " There are varying degrees of commitment to that ideal within the movement, especially as it pertains to men. Tarana Burke has been unequivocal in stating that the movement includes ALL victims of sexual abuse. Rose McGowan has also stated that she believes the movement to be for all victims, though she believes that sexual abuse is largely a Male perpetrated/female victimised problem. Alyssa Milano has been called out by McGowan for abandoning prin…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/02/21 08:14 AM
4

As a somewhat regular poster there, the trans men are some of the best posters. They're often the ones going "I lived life as a woman, now I'm a guy, and being a guy ain't what it's made out to be..."
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/02/21 08:06 AM
2

As a guy, if someone is sending you mixed signals, I'd run the other way. If someone is giving you mixed messages, there's a very good chance they want you to think you have a chance while giving themselves the leeway to say you misread everything from the start. I'd suggest looking into trauma bonding also. Mixed reward/punishment (often without discernible reason) is a form of narcissistic abuse. It's the same strategy used by casinos to keep gamblers pushing buttons. You WANT people to be une…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/02/21 11:24 AM
2

We've unfortunately moved past the point where discussing love-bombing, trauma bonding or anything else will do much good. All that's left is to hope it doesn't end too badly or be there to pick up the pieces when it does. And unfortunately, she's also in infatuation/isolation phase, so...
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates31/08/20 11:35 AM
1

Oh, trust me. There's a few of us biting our tongues.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates31/08/20 11:31 AM
1

I'd agree. His new girlfriend maybe not so much.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates31/08/20 11:29 AM
1

It's probably a spectrum of behaviors. Interestingly enough, a former classmate recently started dating a woman (who moved in on day 1) who basically did a drunk/lingerie combo on him for a few weeks running despite him telling her he wasn't interested in taking the relationship to that level. She admitted later that she'd been worried he'd reject her. I suggested it sounded a hell of a lot like date rape, but... she had attempted any number of other minor boundary pushes before that that had be…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates31/08/20 11:03 AM
1

It's been months, so my memory may be foggy. Then again, as noted, having done a fuckton of bar/service work, I'm sorta split on the whole thing. Most attempts at seductive behavior do strike me as ridiculously transparent and not nearly so irresistible as the people presuming they're being seductive seem to think, but they also strike me as pretty baldly manipulative and therefore pretty toxic.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates31/08/20 10:53 AM
1

It was something more along the lines of implying that I felt women needed to be protected from the masculine wiles in a conversation on seduction. You'd presumed that I was the one attempting to seduce. I generally fend off attention rather than seek it out.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates31/08/20 10:45 AM
1

There's actually a hell of a lot more similarity between red pill and feminist perspectives than you might suspect. Most of the difference lies in how one goes about apportioning blame. Men's lib is pretty explicit in admitting that women can be abusive. Though you need to wade through quite a bit of snow about how such behaviors aren't quite that bad, especially in a relative sense. As noted before, I generally consider myself feminist, which doesn't mean I agree with all women (and not all wom…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates31/08/20 09:19 AM
1

I leave askfeminists to the people in askfeminists. The people not being nuked are largely taking about the way patriarchal expectations work against men, even if those expectations are held by women.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates31/08/20 03:50 AM
1

Like I said, finesse. You need to do it within a certain framework and not use individual cases to try to undermine foundational principles.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates31/08/20 03:34 AM
1

It's an interesting time to be alive, especially given Biden's pick for vp. So you decided to move in with the friend, he? Nice.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates31/08/20 03:24 AM
1

Did you see the recent post on healthy boundaries for men? The one with the bell hooks quote? The one addressing the idea that all men want sex at all times? And how you been my Canadian friend?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates31/08/20 02:15 AM
1

Not necessarily true, but... finesse helps.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates31/08/20 01:40 AM
1

Let me introduce you to the phrase "patriarchy has no gender. "
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/08/20 05:45 AM
4

This actually depends upon the feminist. There's a reason so many men are fond of bell hooks. There's not a single man I know that doesn't understand "patriarchy has no gender," (ie. Women are often just as complicit in upholding the shitty status quo), even if they don't have the words for it.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/07/20 10:01 AM
2

First response to the current top comment in this thread, u/worldcontroller...
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/07/20 06:46 AM
2

Oddly enough, "toxic masculinity" was a phrase coined by proto-mens'-rights advocates.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/07/20 06:25 AM
2

You mean like the poster in the other comment who argues that "toxic masculinity" is redundant?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/07/20 06:22 AM
3

Both 1 and 2 are excellent points.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/07/20 06:22 AM
1

Dude, I lived in San Francisco the late 90's / early oughts. There's dirt to go around.
/r/PussyPassDenied26/10/19 02:48 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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