TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

Unsainted_smoke Archive

View 1 posts and 131 comments by Unsainted_smoke on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
17

Unsainted_smoke/r/Divorce_Men20/04/25 04:30 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

I’d do anything for my boys and that also means playing nice with my ex
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 12:59 AM
0

I ask my ex what extra things to the boys need to make her life easier. But I also remember I need her to be the best version of herself to look after our boys, despite how much I dislike her as a person. Find that balance
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/26 01:37 PM
6

Former Melbournian living in Chicago. I got 2 boys here that I’m staying for. I love and miss Australia more than anything, but my boys need me and I couldn’t imagine letting them grow up wondering who their father is. Melbourne is the greatest city in the world so stay lol
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 03:42 PM
4

EDMR or somatic therapy. Trust me it works. Talk therapy only goes so deep. You have to rewire your nervous system response to that memory
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/26 12:07 AM
2

That’s your money too
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 03:30 PM
7

Get a lawyer!! They are the best ones to advise in this kind of situation. Get copies of all video evidence and give it to them. Do not leave your home
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 12:41 PM
2

I meant it mate. This shit isn’t easy and to be honest, the thoughts of ending it all don’t go away until we get through to the other side. Initially I was lying to everyone about how I’m “ok” and I’ll never do it again. It took about 2 years to fully understand that I’m here for as long as can possibly be here and my purpose is just to be here for my boys. Because I might end the pain, but I’m just gonna pass it on to them and that’s something I can’t accept
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 03:12 PM
9

I’ve been there mate. August 23 2023, at 44 years old, 2 kids 5 and 2 at the time. I was standing on the edge of a bridge. My only hesitation was it didn’t seem high enough and I was only going to fuck myself up rather than die. I thought it was a secluded area but Someone saw me and called the cops. 12 cops, 2 fire trucks and 2 ambulances rocked up. I’m so grateful a stranger saved my life that day. I just had the most amazing father’s day weekend with my 2 boys. My oldest is starting to become…
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 04:57 PM
7

So how did a judge say you’re playing childish games?
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/26 12:40 AM
7

Why didn’t you turn up to court?
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/26 12:34 AM
1

Ex pat Aussie here. I moved to Chicago 11 years ago been divorced almost 2 years now. The courts don’t care about her infidelity or anything like that. All that matters is if she is a capable parent. If she isn’t a stable capable parent, you can get 100% custody and be the primary custodian to make all the decisions for the kids future. But probably best you can hope for is 50/50. I would love to return to Australia, but I’m staying in Chicago for my boys. Also the women love my accent so… 😂
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 08:25 PM
3

It doesn’t matter if the judge doesn’t order child support unfortunately. Whatever the judge decides child support to be, it will have to be back paid. You need as much custody as you can get
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 07:02 PM
1

Percentage of Custody matters more. In Chicago it’s more favorable to the father than other states.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 07:00 PM
9

No dude. The moral of the story is she showed how insecure she is. You do not want a woman who has to dig in your past to find out things she can ask you about. You dodged a bullet
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 08:04 PM
14

If this was me, I wouldn’t have wanted another date with her. She is highly insecure and doesn’t have the ability to make decisions based on her own judgment. I never listen to anyone who has opinions on anyone else ESPECIALLY if that was due to a soured relationship. You have to be a fucking moron to listen to the ex wife giving a reference about a potential match.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 07:42 PM
2

Sounds like me brother. But I’m 47 and I have this smoke show 35 year old taking all my attention and I’m feeling pretty good about myself. Don’t stay where you’re not loved or appreciated
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 10:42 PM
5

Yeah all that sucks. Losing the person you thought you’d spend the rest of your life with. We’ve all been there. Now you have to decide if this is now your identity. Are you going to be defined by the actions of someone else? Don’t hate your ex, she’s trying to navigate life like the rest of us. All it does is keep your focus on the past when you need to focus on growth.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 11:25 AM
6

Hard pill to swallow but very correct
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 11:18 AM
2

You have to pay. No way around it. Unless you get full custody
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 10:28 PM
6

Could not have said it better myself!!! My boys get the very best of me.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 01:21 AM
3

She could not be happy getting less money on 50/50 and needs more time to fuck you know her again? It’s a tough one
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 02:53 PM
-1

Yeah, so what? I’m not scared of stats lol. You do you bro, I’ll throw myself into the fire again and again lol
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 07:56 PM
1

Because I wouldn’t let my past dictate my future. Only in who I shouldn’t marry. Life is to be lived. Love is a gift and I’m not going to just hide it away.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 03:21 PM
3

My ex had $50k of credit card debt I didn’t find out about until 6 years into our marriage. Yeah stupid me lol. As long as she is making money and has a plan to pay it off. If you fall in love with this girl and she’s worth it, you can still own a home with everything in your name and you can support her. Obviously don’t get married for a long ass time lol. Look at her character and her work ethic above finances. Money isn’t everything and love is worth a whole lot more. But make sure you’re rea…
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 02:21 PM
1

[ Removed by Reddit ]
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 11:07 PM
4

2 boys 7 and 4. First year divorced, my bday rolls past and I got nothing. Her bday is a week after Mother’s Day and I got my boys to pick out gifts and flower for her and their grandmother. Father’s Day roll around, I got cards a week later. I will always get my kids to make a big deal about their mothers special day even though I can’t fucking stand that lying bitch 😂 I will not tolerate my boys disrespecting their mother
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 11:13 PM
2

2 time divorcee. Here. First one, she cheated on me but I don’t say I’m blameless. I was working too much, not putting back into the relationship and my avoidant behavior left it go cold. 2nd marriage, I found out she had $50k of credit card debt and that just made me emotionally distant because she wasn’t doing anything to fix it. But if you ask her it’s because I’m a narcissist lol. But still, I take accountability in not knowing how to lead her to financial responsibility. I’m alway a work in…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 07:17 PM
9

I don’t even like to make eye contact with my ex. She’s a shithead bully who’s said awful things about me and tried to drag my name through the mud as a cheater and abusive drug addict. None of that is true. I can’t stand the cunt but I’ll never disparage her in front of my boys and I will never tolerate my boys ever saying a bad word about their mother. I take my boys to target to pick out gifts and cards they want to get for their mother for Mother’s Day and birthdays. I’ll get them to try and…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 11:41 PM
4

Not trying to sound like a dick but It could be your personality. Don’t try so hard and just be secure in yourself. A secure confident man who can live without caring about hooking up, will have a selection to choose from.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 05:47 PM
5

When you realize how much fun being alone without commitment is, you kinda enjoy it lol. I would love to find another relationship, but I can’t settle for anything that doesn’t feel less than right for me. If I find a girl that could potentially be something more, I’ll give her my 100% focus
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 02:36 PM
-2

This is Reddit. This is not a boys night. Let the women hear what I have to say and maybe they can take it back to the other women so they can understand us better?
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 09:22 PM
-4

No need to be so insecure. These women can’t hurt you
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 09:21 PM
-5

He’s claiming women shouldn’t be allowed on this sub? Why? He’s trying to get some kind of retaliation or retribution against a perceived enemy
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 02:46 PM
9

If this is your axe to grind, then you need to focus on what’s really important. A real masculine man doesn’t give a fuck about who gets banned from what subreddit. We have enough advice and resources we wouldn’t get banned from to worry about 1 sub. Women are not our enemies.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 11:54 AM
2

She read stories online about how some men get too aggressive or change too much. But who knows what their dosage was or anything else they were taking. She basically was trying to deflect that it couldn’t possibly be her fault for anything
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/26 10:55 AM
5

Yeah I’m a narcissist abusive drug addict. I’m on TRT and my ex blames testosterone on our relationship breakdown saying I’m an addict. All because I didn’t agree with her $50k credit card debt I didn’t know about for 6 years wasn’t a problem
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 09:00 PM
6

Because we don’t talk about anything to anyone. We don’t want to feel like a burden to our friends so we keep it to ourselves. And maybe if we just had have learned to open up more and talk about our problems, we wouldn’t have gotten divorced in the first place. Speaking from experience here
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 08:49 PM
2

I’m glad your story has a happy ending. Why she left is none of your business now. But what it did for you is a money can’t buy experience. Look how fucking great you are now!!! Closure is in your own mind when you choose to let it go. Because even if she did tell you why, you still wouldn’t accept it and you won’t find the closure you’re needing. You have more important things to worry about now
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 01:42 AM
2

We’ve all been in the same boat. I just jumped back on hinge for the first time since 2015. After 2 weeks I got my sea legs back and now I’m meeting a cute 31 year old this Saturday.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 04:25 AM
2

Try dating again. Find someone to connect with
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 03:15 AM
8

I’ve been there mate. And all I can say is it does get better. You need to surround yourself with good friends and get as much support as you can. You don’t want to die, you just want the pain to die. Please DM me if you need someone to talk to
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 12:36 AM
4

You need a new lawyer. My lawyer was fucking on top of everything. Her lawyer kicked the can down the road as far as he could. Longer it drags out, more money he makes. She filed in November, I submitted all my financials by January. He didn’t respond to us until February. We filled a motion to compel discovery. I didn’t get her discovery until July!! He was sitting on all it since March because the dumb fuck didn’t realize the Google Drive showed when the files were last edited which was march.…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 03:21 AM
1

Yeah but my advice involves violence and intimidation. I’d probably get banned 🤷🏻‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 05:55 PM
13

My heavy handed advice will be the wrong advice for a public forum.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 11:00 PM
2

You read the book, the courage to be disliked? A basic premise is, where there are people, there are problems. All our problems are caused by interpersonal relationships. Now that you no longer have a partner, you have no problems and you can do what the fuck you like lol.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 12:51 AM
2

Go get yourself a therapist or join a men’s help group. I can tell you how valuable being around other men in the same situation is. You’re not alone mate, DM me if you want chat about anything
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 02:31 PM
10

They think that just because you disagree with them, that makes you a narcissist lol
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 02:35 PM
2

I’m originally from Australia and now live in Chicago. All my family is in Australia so I know what being alone is all about. I lost her family too. People I had known for 8 years just all cut me off. But I have met an absolutely amazing woman since and she makes me feel like myself again. You just have to keep marching forward!
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 04:14 AM
2

It can only be a positive to have a mental health professional talk to your kids. It’s nothing to fear. I understand that frustration of being cut out of the decision but what is the danger here?
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 07:58 PM
3

It’s amazing what an actual good woman can do for us when she brings us peace.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 02:44 PM
10

I’m guessing she’s late 30’s early 40’s? Anyway, sounds a lot like how my marriage went down. Small arguments turned in to big ones and you could never understand her point of view and all you wanted was an explanation but she says you’re a narcissist and she just doesn’t have the time to teach you. There’s nothing you can do to change her mind. Just because you disagree with her, doesn’t make you the enemy. So I have 2 young boys with my ex, 7 and 4. I left 15 months and it was devastating to t…
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 02:42 PM
3

My divorce will be stamped by the judge next Friday after 15 months after I left. I feel indifferent about it. Doesn’t even register a single fuck to give. We have 2 young boys and they are my whole world. As much as she is an absolute narcissist and I can’t even stand to make eye contact with her, I would do it all over again if it meant I got those 2 boys out of it. I am definitely a better man for going through what I did with her and those positive results now show in my relationship with my…
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 12:38 AM
1

Everything will be ok if you want it to be. And even when it’s not ok, it will become ok eventually. Stay calm and be as passive to her onslaught as possible. That’s the hard part lol. Try not to react to her being nasty, just trust the process.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 02:28 PM
1

I understand it to a point. Being a mother is tough but they can still be adults and speak to us like they love us and not the enemy lol
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 02:22 PM
8

October 2024, I left my marriage and my boys, then 6 and 3. 14 months later my relationship with my boys is great and now they get the very best of me without the fun sponge that is my ex. We are so incompatible, but I persevered for 7 years because I couldn’t bear the thought of not tucking my boys in to bed like I had done every single night of their lives. The first couple of months is hard because they are my world, but then something strange happened. I started to become the person I used t…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 04:13 AM
1

Pro se pro here lol. Once you understand that it’s in the lawyers best interest to drag shit out as long as possible, even if it’s yours, you’ll find that all the info you need is online. I had legal consulting for my strategies and made her lawyer look like a bum. But, if there are a lot of assets involved, you will need a legal accountant
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/26 01:29 PM
2

Peri menopause is a real thing
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 10:06 PM
6

Let me guess, she’s in her mid to late 30’s?
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 07:58 PM
1

I can see how that would be hard for some women to swallow. Prenups are out of my scope of experience lol. Lucky for me her debt was accumulated pre marriage and she’s so insecure about anyone finding out about it that it wasn’t worth the fight for her. I had to run up my card to $15k in 2022 when her “influencer” career never took off and all my cash was only paying off her interest. Oh and she also forged my signature on the last tax return and claimed I made half of what I did do she could cl…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 06:25 PM
1

Well after my last divorce, I have nothing to protect in a prenup lol. But we have spoken about finances and she is debt free, I’ll be debt free in about 18 months and then we build something together. We’ve spoken about our boundaries when it comes to friends and behavior unbecoming of a healthy relationship. Basically we’re doing the best we can to make each other feel as safe and secure and a priority as much as possible. I wouldn’t be with her if I didn’t feel that. That’s part of my emotion…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 04:52 PM
1

The first thing I needed to change was to be completely secure in myself and not make my identity as a relationship. When those instances with my ex’s came up, it was devastating because I felt like a failure letting x1 cheat on me because I was working too much and left nothing for her. I was always like, I’m working hard, show me more support and I never made her feel like she was emotionally supported. X2 never opened up to me and all her insecurities were what hid her debts. She had them bef…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 04:20 PM
1

Emotional intelligence goes up the older you get. If you don’t learn from your mistakes in previous relationships then yes, same outcome will happen. My first divorce, she was cheating on me. My second divorce, I didn’t find out she had $50k credit card debt until 6 years in. My lack of emotional intelligence was not identifying red flags and incompatibilities in these relationships. After a couple years of therapy after trying to kill myself, I’ve learned more about who I am and what I need in …
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 03:47 PM
-2

Na mate, just secure with myself and a grown man
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 03:41 PM
3

Myself, married at 30, divorced at 33. Married at 37, first kid at 40, second at 43. Divorced at 45. I said I was never gonna get married a second time lol. Now I’ve met an amazing woman who is unlike anyone I’ve ever met and I would absolutely marry her. But I wouldn’t be in this relationship if I hadn’t done the work and accountability on myself. We both have our past issues but we both give each other the safety to express our problems without fear of judgement. I got lucky because most women…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 03:25 PM
1

I thought that way at first too. But your marriage didn’t work out because the 2 of you just don’t work together. That’s all I’ll tell my boys when they’re old enough to understand. Life goes on and you’ll be stuck in your bitter past until you can accept that it was never going to work. Now, the work you need to do if you want a different successful relationship, is understanding why she couldn’t work with you and becoming a better man for it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 11:55 PM
7

She’s not your problem anymore mate. But good idea to come here and let it off your chest. We got you bro
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 07:01 PM
1

Uneducated? How?
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 01:58 PM
-4

My young boys are being raised in the Catholic faith. I was too as a young kid and now I couldn’t give 2 fucks about religion. I told them the other week Jesus invented chocolate and his pet rabbit shits chocolate Easter eggs 😂 whatever they do when it comes to church and how she’s moving on isn’t your concern. You should focus on being the influence in their life not worry about ghost stories influencing them
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 12:09 AM
4

I crushed mine with pliers and left it on the bedside table. Making sure I would never put it back on .
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/25 04:51 AM
6

Learning about attachment styles was key for me understanding why my marriage broke down. My ex is a dismissive avoidant and I honestly wish she could understand it because it would make life easier post divorce and understand I’m not a narcissist 😂 It’s also helped with my relationship with my girlfriend now. We’ve learned and explored everything about our attachment styles and we have a very healthy relationship
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 11:44 PM
6

Oh yeah heard that one too. “The boys will see what a real man is one day…” 😂 but it had nothing to do with her $50k credit card debt and nuking our finances lol
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 11:57 PM
21

It’s funny how all divorced men are narcissists. But for 8 years I wasn’t until I was 🤔
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 10:08 PM
4

A liar will say anything because that’s what liars do
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 08:53 PM
16

They’re already intimate and It’s been going on longer than you think. It’s easy for her to leave because he is her back up plan. The only thing worse than cheating, is lying. If she wants to leave for another guy, so be it. She’s not yours anymore. If she can’t admit the truth, then that is much worse in my book than cheating. EVERYTHING starts with a lie
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 02:55 PM
2

It’s human to help anyone. You don’t lose energy points if someone uses Reddit for advice
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 05:05 PM
1

So what? Divorced men would be the most likely to want a relationship with her so why not come to the source to ask?
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 01:50 PM
5

Life is good when you’re able to cut out the toxic element in your life
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 01:48 PM
3

Dude, if you can’t afford a lawyer, at least ask ChatGPT. And you signed an agreement but you can renege on until the judge makes a determination. She makes more than you so maybe go for alimony. You are married so EVERYTHING is 50/50
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 12:46 AM
3

It is a factor absolutely. There’s a statistic that women going through menopause or perimenopause are highly likely to get divorced. Not saying it is their fault at all. Men need to know how to communicate better when hormones are going wild. Same with men with low testosterone. They get very snappy and respond emotionally. We ALL need to take note of our hormonal and mental hygiene issues
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 01:56 AM
4

I’m 46 with a 7 and 4 year old. I was able to meet the woman of my dreams after divorce (still proceeding) mainly because I did the work on myself. She is everything I dreamed of physically and more than I knew I needed emotionally. I am very lucky yes, but there’s no way in hell this smoke show would even consider me if I didn’t have the emotional maturity to identify where I needed to fix myself. Almost 2 years to the day, I was on the edge of handrail looking to jump (but the bridge wasn’t hi…
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 04:47 PM
4

In my experience it does. When you’ve taken care of all the things you’ve always wanted to do for yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 01:18 PM
6

Are you Jason Bourne?
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 03:31 PM
16

You fucked up beyond belief. Be proactive and enroll into anger management classes ASAP. Find a therapist to help you unwind your issues. Showing that you’re proactive can only help the judge make a somewhat favorable decision
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 12:06 PM
9

If she cheats, she was never your girl to begin with. To me, being a liar is worse than being a cheater. Don’t lie by say you love someone if you’re gonna cheat
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 01:14 PM
3

Nothing lasts forever, even grief. A year from now you’ll have moved on living your best life. My advice is working on self reliance and to not be co dependent on a partner. Make you your identity and not a relationship. A relationship with the right person is an extension of you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 11:20 PM
4

When you look at life through a microscope, you may feel hurt by a few comments by others regarding whatever the subject. Take a step back and there’s way more people agreeing with you on whatever the subject, they just don’t feel the need to let their feelings known on social media. I’ve had some really shit relationships, my last almost drove me to suicide, but now I’ve met the perfect woman I never knew I needed and she loves my 2 young boys despite not having kids. Most men in my shoes defea…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 07:18 PM
2

The only issue is, how does the court enforce a punishment for violating agreements? The only punishment is taking more custody time
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 03:30 PM
7

My ex told me to leave 3 times in 2023, lead to me having a massive depressive episode which I almost ended my life. The thought of not kissing my 2 boys goodnight every single night of their lives was too much for me to comprehend. 2024 I pulled my shit together and realized how toxic she was, using emotional blackmail against me, always threatening to call her cousin the lawyer to file for divorce. I had to plan my move out over a few months and when I was ready to move out, she’s like, “just …
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 03:26 PM
2

HAHAHA couldn’t have said it better 😂
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 03:16 PM
1

For me, I needed to get my own health under control, from physical to mental. And this has only been very recent that I’m able to not get any anger or anxiety from the shit behavior she directs at me. My ex knows exactly what my triggers are and it took a lot of mental work on my end to be proactive rather than reactive. How I digest shit thrown from someone else is my problem and mine alone. It’s a journey to get your head there.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/25 03:01 PM
1

A lot of damage can be done on an impulse for everyone. If you don’t take care of your hormones, you’re more likely to be reactivate
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 07:08 PM
7

Hormones make us who we are. Just like a man with low T becomes snappy and depressed
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 02:39 PM
13

My girlfriend ain’t a Latina but damn she has an ass that makes me weak in the knees 😂 best thing is, she’s an amazing person and I’ve never felt more complete in myself. She knows ALL my bullshit and she still loves me lol. I honestly don’t know why the universe blessed me with such a woman
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 12:47 AM
2

I’m really surprised why our ex’s don’t listen to our sound common sense advice 🤔 forever baffled lol
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/25 01:16 AM
12

Out of courtesy, running a background check on him should be both of your priority. That is all you can and should do
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/25 11:52 PM
0

I recommend couples therapy. You are divorced because you both don’t understand each other and that’s pretty much why we all got divorced in the first place. But there is hope for an amicable partnership in the most important thing in the world to both of you, your daughter. If she wants the best of you, you sound like you’re doing the work. She needs to be doing the work too and it’s a great idea to do it together to work on attachment styles. A therapist that specializes in attachment is what …
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 03:12 PM
1

That’s a tough situation. Not easy to get over because she “seems” happy. But what all of us have to remember is, including her. We can’t base our misery on what we don’t have anymore or what others have instead of us. This is way easier said than done, but you have to start somewhere with some positive thoughts. Misery isn’t going to rebuild your life, it guides you away from repeating mistakes
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 09:18 PM
2

It takes a lot of work on our end too. Don’t let one bad situation effect the next.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 08:56 PM
2

Thank you brother. This girl has brought the best out of me and at times I don’t even know myself from being so used to my previous situation. There are good ones out there
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 07:55 PM
3

What did I win?
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 01:06 PM
4

I’m a strong fit 46 with 2 young boys. I had a vasectomy about 6 months before things turned to shit with my ex. My girlfriend loves that I have a vasectomy and she’s 15 years younger 😎 but I’m not opposed to getting a reversal for another kid if she really wants one. I’d love to try for a girl lol
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 01:04 PM
3

Yes it’s infuriating. It’s takes a strong will to let it go. But if she cheats, she’s just not your girl anymore and he can have her. We can’t waste energy on people who lie to us. If my girl ever cheated on me, I’d be more heartbroken that she’s a liar, not a cheater. The disrespect is in the lie
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/25 09:18 PM
2

They hand meds out like fucking candy. It’s crazy. But yeah late 30’s and it’s definitely perimenopause. All you can do is become the best version of yourself. The more you try to change someone the further you push them away. Work on yourself and you attract the right energy. If there’s something worth salvaging down the road then who knows but life doesn’t stop here unless you want it too. Cheesy as it sounds lol, that all you can do.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/25 12:42 AM
3

That’s why after I went to 2 therapists myself, went to a psychologist. My ex went to a therapist yes but I guarantee she was bullshitting her way through it and got nothing out of it. If a therapist is just validating you, then it’s not a good therapist. My quick trick to find out if a therapist is good or not is if they validate you too easily or if they make assumptions of your partner or anyone else you talk to. Doing the work is also about self learning and being open to listen to real advi…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/25 06:52 PM
3

If she’s in her late 30’s, peri menopause is a real thing that whacks women’s hormones and mind state all over the place. There’s a statistic that majority of divorce occurs during this time. SSRI’s can do some mysterious things too, if it’s the right med for what she needs. I’m ADHD an SSRI’s are not good for me. Turns me into a lifeless apathetic person. Also, there’s 2 sides to every story and then the truth. Or perspective of an outside counsel. I know I was hard headed and gave no budge to …
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/25 01:57 PM
2

You need all her financial statements through discovery. You have to highlight her irresponsible spending and you should be asking for as much custody the judge deems reasonable. Custody is determined by how many nights of the year your kid stays with you, not accumulative hours during the day. If she’s been a stay at home parent without the capacity to further her career because of that, she may be entitled to alimony. ALWAYS be polite and objective in messages and don’t engage in who did what,…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 04:22 PM
2

She sounds like an anxious avoidant. We all have attachment styles and it comes from our upbringing. I didn’t learn this until it was too late with my ex but it’s been a revelation with my new relationship. I’m working on my dismissive avoidant attachment and it takes a lot of work. But if she’s not willing to do the work to change, there’s not much you can do other than work on yourself and come back to her as a more evolved man.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 03:13 PM
6

I’m not even allowed to take my boys to the park in X’s neighborhood. She’s worried her friends will find out that I’m not an abusive narcissist. What I’ve realized is she can paint me as whatever she wants to people I couldn’t give 2 fucks about. My boys know who I am and they know they can trust me, that’s all I care about and I can’t worry about things I can’t control. You’re doing an amazing job brother!!
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 11:58 PM
4

Fantastic work brother
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 11:57 AM
9

I know what being on the edge is all about, literally on an edge. Took 12 cops, 2 fire trucks and 2 ambulances to get me down and I am forever grateful I’m still here. 8/23/23 was the day. But I’m here right now with my 2 young boys just getting ready for the day. Imagine what my boys would be doing or thinking right now if I wasn’t here. Probably wouldn’t have been about me because they were only 5 and 2 at the time and they wouldn’t remember me. So yesterday we spent the day with my new girlfr…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 11:55 AM
1

It’s a good thing for anyone who has locked up issues in your mind that just won’t go away. You go into it with the intention of self discovery and you’ll understand why your childhood is the beginning when all your problems started 😂 the first time I did it was in 2023 at 44 years old. It took me back to the 1st grade when I realized that was when I was bullied for the first time and my older brother just stood by and watched, then walked away. It unraveled every little thing about my childhood…
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/25 03:34 AM
1

THC doesn’t agree with me. I don’t take any other drugs other than shrooms. But I’m very methodical about how much I take. Start with 1g and sit in a park in the afternoon. Plan to have a chill relaxing night and you’ll have the best sleep ever! You have no lingering side effects the next day. Titrate up a gram at a time whenever you do it. Last big trip I did was 6g and that sent me back in time and I was so close to solving world peace 😂 just kidding but you remember everything that goes throu…
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/25 10:42 PM
1

All the questions you missed growing up. It opens up doors in your mind held back by any kind of trauma and insecurity. But the way you take it is important. Stay at home, put some very calm chill music on, dim the lights and just let it happen. If you can do it with someone you trust on the same level or if they can guide you through it basically like a therapist, is better. There’s a documentary called, “how to change your mind.” Talks about all psychedelics in use of therapy
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/25 11:29 AM
1

I’m doing a heavy trip every 6 months. I usually get more questions than answers but keeps me on the right path
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 02:30 AM
6

Therapy is a great start. But finding a therapist that can actually do a good job is the challenge. My unconventional method was magic mushrooms. It’s been used in therapies around the world as a means to “reset” your issues and for PTSD.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 11:10 PM
13

I got my boys to pick out some flowers and a small gift for their mother. I don’t do it for her, I do it to teach my boys to always respect their mother no matter what. I never want any kind of friendship or relationship with her but she’s a good mother and all good mothers deserve to to have their kids appreciate them.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 08:48 PM
2

Do you want to be telling this story in 5 or 10 years? If nothing changes, nothing changes. Your happiness is worth more than money or a job. You can rebuild anything but you just have to set fire to the bullshit your in. Short term pain for long term gain
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/25 12:36 AM
3

Go talk to the mother if you could change up the schedule. I got my boys every Friday and every other Friday and Saturday. My girlfriend’s bday (who is a smoke show 😂) fell on a double weekend. She allowed me to do 2 double weekends in a row to make her bday a single. Obviously don’t tell your ex why but say it’s for a sport you’re taking up or something lol
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 02:00 PM
11

Unless couples therapy can help you guys, she’s leaving and you need to accept it. It fucking sucks dude because the kids. Chances are she’s met someone else and depending on your local laws, could play into the settlement so you need to do your digging.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 12:26 AM
2

I’m a size 13 shoe. No wonder I’m a narcissist asshole abusive father and partner lol. Congratulations on the ruling, but don’t rest easy, she’ll find ways to make your life hell
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/25 08:47 PM
3

You have to remember who you were before you met her. Also, it’s not a competition to who has the best life so try to wish her the best of luck.and let her be happy. It’s only going to make you bitter and that does no one any good
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/25 07:51 PM
1

I would ignore it. What’s the punishment for grooming your kid? Save money on legal fees for this one
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 10:53 PM
1

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 08:44 PM
3

I got 2 young boys and I’m navigating missing them like crazy. Financially it is hard and then throw legal fees on top of that. The next 6 months is gonna be tough while you go through litigation and custody arrangements. Best advice I can give is get yourself the best lawyer you can find and try to keep the peace as much as possible with your now ex. She can make life difficult for you even more than it is now. A friend of mine said it’s like swallowing triangles sometimes and he’s right. Do yo…
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 02:19 PM
1

That’s actually a good idea. I can turn up and just be in a group without having to carry it. I can bang on all day about TRT and men’s health all day lol. I love answering questions about it. I’ve been on TRT since I was 41. 46 now and physically in great condition with all my health markers on point.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 12:41 AM
2

You’re right. I’m definitely trying to do that but my creativity and drive is getting sucked down a hole. My job is to motivate people to be the best version of themselves and yet I can’t do it for myself
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 12:36 AM
1

My kids
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 12:33 AM
2

I’m a personal trainer and pretty jacked already lol. I do just about everything you wrote except my dog is with my ex. I appreciate your sentiments though.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/25 08:14 PM
5

I’m a personal trainer and my job is quite social. I spend the whole day putting on a performance because my clients need the best out of me and it just leaves me so drained to socialize. I know I definitely need to get out to support groups.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/25 05:53 PM
2

Yeah I definitely need to find a support group. I have no family in this country. Im lucky enough to have found an amazing girlfriend, she’s extremely supportive but I don’t want to wear her down. I feel like I become a burden and then that makes me down even further
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/25 05:50 PM
3

Never thought loneliness would ever effect me. Thank you mate
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/25 05:20 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter