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Upstairs-Pizza-1843 Archive

View 0 posts and 416 comments by Upstairs-Pizza-1843 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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11

Your marriage is a charade now because it is over. You know it, she knows it, but she just doesn't know that you know too. Get that divorce asap while she's in limerence. You'll NEVER get a better deal because your STBX "feels" so good right now, even if it is at your expense.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 01:42 PM
9

100%. When your STBX starts acting very manly, becomes crass, calloused, argumentative, unapologetic, accusatory, fails to take accountability, attacks your manhood, etc. well, that's a major turnoff. Very unfeminine! Not sweet as spice and everything nice. Your own friends wouldn't treat you as harshly! I believe most women have been brainwashed into being boss girls who want to act like men by suppressing their natural feminine emotions, and are completely ignorant of the fact that their perso…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 07:57 PM
4

People don't change, they just mask who they truly are until life makes them remove the mask.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 06:20 PM
-3

You can be a sugar mama or a FWB, which are really your two most realistic options next to accepting that you'll be single because your best days are behind you. Men value fertility and a youthful appearance. Most do not want to date grandmas. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 09:23 PM
8

Find happiness outside of the validation of women. That's the secret of being a man.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 12:32 AM
3

Same thing happened to my brother in Florida too. His ex was asking for $2k/mo. for life for a 32 year marriage where she claimed she was a SAHM. Turns out she had a part time job that if full time would make almost as much as my brother. Took it to trial himself and judge awarded his ex $500/mo. for 5 years, specifically stating she didn't need lifetime alimony and that was it. TBH, no alimony should have been awarded if life was fair bc he only made $55k/year and she was making over $32k/year …
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 10:15 PM
1

Maybe she'll be open to it in the future, but don't get your hopes up. Women are vindictive and petty, operating 100% on feelings alone. Divorce isn't a good feeling so it's more likely than not that she'll be unreasonable. That said, it can't hurt to say something about the outstanding babysitting offer. She probably feels judged by your parents because she's judged you as unworthy for marriage now. In other words, she knows she's destroying a family and probably doesn't have the bandwidth to s…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 10:34 PM
7

She doesn't care and has moved on, brother. Don't waste your time! If you had 100 women begging you for a date, you'd feel the same way. Getting over a woman we've loved is massively different for us men, but that's what makes us men.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 10:03 PM
1

I'd get a second opinion from an attorney with significant experience before the judge in your case because there isn't a single judge in America that will punish a party in a divorce proceeding if one of them has a paramour AFTER filing for divorce. Even in "at fault" jurisdictions. Just like there is a cutoff date for asset and liability calculations, there is also one for "adultery" too, which is also the date of filing for divorce. You are going to waste your money, time, and mental health o…
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 10:31 PM
5

Never take back a cheater. Hopefully, this cruel life lesson will turn to good and you will be able to advise your children and friends to never take back a cheater. Ever. Period. End of story.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 10:14 PM
0

Why would a married woman going through divorce with two children be on Match before the ink was even dry? That is the question. Stop shaming men for asking what a woman brings to the table because that is actually the most important question of all.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 02:19 PM
3

I was on Match 10 years ago. I asked a woman with two kids who was going through a divorce what she brought to the table. She got mad, reported me and had my account suspended. Match kept the $80. I had only been using it a week too. That was my last experience with dating apps.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 12:39 PM
1

Sounds demonic, tbh. Do they handle snakes too? Sheesh. Reminds me of the Peter Popoff scams. Uri Geller is right there with them too. Liars and thieves of innocent minds. Sad! Stick to your principles. She should listen to the head of the household and follow your lead if she was really a Christian, whatever that is nowadays.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 01:39 AM
3

You just have to live in the moment and enjoy the time you have with your children because they grow up so fast and the cool memories you make with them now will last everyone a lifetime. You got this, dad!
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 05:04 PM
4

They don't want to go to trial. They want you to work it out and settle. Attorneys could be afraid of trial, but none of them like it and avoid it like the plague. The judges expect you guys to settle, they don't want to listen to you gripes for a whole day either.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 06:27 PM
8

She's a cheater. Do NOT have a kid with a cheater. Do NOT have a relationship to a cheater. Stay strong and divorce that cheater!
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 11:21 PM
2

Don't settle for less than 50/50. Her goal seems to be parental alienation when she gets her way, and the kids preferring her will only get stronger once she has them isolated. Even 50/50 might not be enough time to break her spell. Beware!
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/26 02:54 PM
1

Final Judgment means just that. It's over but for very specific reasons, often difficult to prove. Like fraud. But seeing as though it was just a lack of oversight from you, fraud is off the table. Build your life for the future, and put the divorce and financial hits that we all took behind you. Maybe get an opinion from AI or an attorney if you feel like there's something there to give you a peace of mind.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/26 12:02 AM
2

Courts don't care about any of this until AT LEAST 6 months pass from the final judgment. So you get a free pass too and can micro violate. Just keep a strong record of HER violations, and only choose to violate small things that will irritate her the most to the point of threatening to "take you to court" lol. At that point you can offer an olive branch of just following the original court order instead, citing her many violations. Reason and logic, however, are unlikely to work on her because …
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 09:13 PM
11

I'm suspecting my ex has had her hand in the alienation of my 16 year old daughter who hasn't spoken to me in 5 months. She won't even read my texts until weeks pass and then maybe respond with a stupid emoji -- that was before the 5 months of no contact. I've only been kind and supportive of her, and gave her so many great experiences at the beach, cruises, etc. Paid for everything too, investing over $200k into her life, mostly in travel expenses. There is no reason to hate me that I know of b…
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 08:36 PM
8

Open marriages are a disaster for almost everyone and are usually one sided like in your case, but I'm glad it is working out for you. Congratulations?
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 02:20 PM
1

Get an infrared sauna and sit in that thing and meditate. You'll be amazed at how good your body feels after a session!
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 11:43 PM
6

Brother, give AA a shot. Those guys will run through brick walls for you man. It's a great support system and gets you in a social group with people who understand and won't judge. Do 90 meetings in 90 days. This is a great short term goal and you need those right now. Also consider taking up a hobby you always wanted to try like guitar or drums. Since you like making awesome food, maybe start a little garden or at the very least an herb garden. Be the man you want your children to look up to wh…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 11:40 PM
1

Your ex lives in fear and insecurity. She cowardly chooses a new guy over her own children ostensibly because it gives her an easier lifestyle that is secure. She doesn't want to mess that up until she can at least extract hundreds of thousands of dollars from him in a break up, which may never happen. Meanwhile, your kids suffer and build resentment. They see what is going on - their mother abandoning them by outsourcing every boundary to some strange new guy they just met. Not their dad. Be th…
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 03:23 PM
4

His contempt for you is also directed at your children. I bet they don't like his behavior either bc he's obviously a control freak "my way or the highway" and a disciplinarian in his home, subjugating your ex and children to his every whim and foolish rule.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 01:02 AM
2

The Hotel California always has vacancies lol
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 12:49 AM
1

I kind of felt that way the first time my wife said she wanted a divorce. Some things cannot be unsaid and there was no way I was going to prostrate myself before a person who checked out. I suppose that attitude accelerated the divorce filing but whatever reaction she thought was going to happen completely backfired. I was done after that.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 06:59 PM
11

I'll hate her so you don't have to. She's a wicked person who betrayed her family and daughter. Probably a cheater but that doesn't matter. I still hate her.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 06:57 PM
1

Wow. Some hater downvoted this very helpful advice. That's crazy in a forum dedicated to helping men going through a divorce. I think OP's STBX may be snooping lol. But it is probably an attorney know it all who lurks on these forums and is terrified of AI replacing them with far more useful advocacy. Very dishonorable!
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 02:06 AM
1

Brother, lean on ChatGPT or Grok for general legal advice. It's often better than an attorney. A lot of people go it alone and get better results than an attorney. Look into your State's Clerk of Court website for self representation help. Family court publishes the motions and pleadings you need to file (how do you think attorneys got the same forms? You guessed it, the same place! They just format the same info differently). Once you have a better understanding of the issues in your divorce af…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 12:35 AM
7

THe court won't give you a chance to pay it in the future, rather your 401k will be raided in an "equalizing" payment to her in the final judgment. She'll still be on the hook to pay her personal debts.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 06:58 PM
1

How are you going to get your stuff if you don't enforce the final judgment? One remedy of contempt of court is of course, enforcement, which is what you want anyway. Find another attorney who has your back and a better idea about how to get your stuff from your ex other than quitting and dropping the case. That's just stupid.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 02:34 PM
6

Yeah, no good lawyer would advise going back to court in less than a year, much less in just 5 months. An unscrupulous lawyer will just take your money and lie to you even if there wasn't the necessary substantial change in circumstances permitting a modification. I'd be surprised if the outcome was different.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 02:08 PM
3

Yes, get a new attorney and don't pay any outstanding balance. The most important job of an attorney is communication. Period. End of story. A $97k discrepancy is SUS af from either end. That said, I hope you factor in closing costs when evaluating equity interests. If you sell the house, you'd be splitting those costs so she shouldn't get a windfall. That's the cost of an equity extraction.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 09:15 PM
1

Maybe I should have been more clear since you don't understand how this works. US Citizen incorporates a foreign corporation in the Cayman Islands, which is then owned by a private trust created in the Caymans, and then opens a bank account in the Caymans. Said bank account is invisible to the USA/IRS and no reporting requirements are triggered. Susan Powers of USAID advised NGOs to set up bank accounts in the Cayman Islands. They get millions deposited, then wire it to another secret bank in Lu…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 08:59 PM
0

Put all of it in a secret Cayman Islands bank account. It's a black box and invisible to every sovereign nation in the world. Nothing can pierce it!
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 07:02 PM
1

I have these thoughts daily. It's my dark passenger. Life is meaningless.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 04:44 PM
2

There is no such thing as unconditional love. That's another fairy tale told by Disney and believed by women.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 07:22 PM
2

Sounds like a trial chicken who is delaying until a settlement is reached. Find out how many trials her attorney has ever had, and the last time he/she went to trial. There you will find your answer.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 07:14 PM
3

I have this uncanny ability to discern when someone doesn't like me. I don't really care what the reason is when my gut is screaming at me based on all the circumstances. I give every benefit of doubt too -- based on both my behavior and theirs. My daughter for years has not initiated contact with me. When I send an inquisitive "dad" text about her life/school/sports, it gets ignored for a couple weeks and then I would get an emoji response ... maybe. She has not called me "dad" in years. It's w…
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 01:15 AM
1

This isn't over yet. She'll be pivoting to permanently alienating you from your kids by hook or crook. These Succubus are crafty. Don't let your guard down!
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 08:15 PM
11

Right there with you. My 16 year old daughter completely cut me out of her life and I honestly do not know why. It started a couple years ago and I sincerely asked her what I did wrong so I could fix it. That got ignored too. I guess she thinks there's plenty of other people she'll meet in life that will support her and run through brick walls for her without ever asking anything in return. She just doesn't want it to be me. I give up.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 06:57 PM
1

If you have video evidence that proves she's a liar, then she should suffer the maximum penalty under the law as if she had committed DV herself. That would be fair, but that's also why they let women lie without consequence in DV cases. We talk a lot on here about the dangers of being nice in divorce settlements, in particular giving the ex an unreasonable amount of time to squat in the home before having to sell it or leave. So, unfortunately, this outcome is not a surprise to any of us but it…
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 02:15 PM
2

That's the beauty of court. You talk to the judge and tell your story, she tells hers, and the Judge decides. File and hold her accountable for stealing from you, which is essentially stealing from your kids by limiting your resources available to them. Should be fun for her to deal with while pregnant and in the honeymoon stage with the current guy having his turn. They'll enjoy the pillow talk subject.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 07:14 PM
1

Get into counseling and see if you can fix your marriage. Find out why you have disconnected, and evaluate your future with half the resources that you now have, including the loss of the home and the expense of maintaining 2 residences on the same resources. Grok can tell you what custody outcomes and asset divisions are possible in your state.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 04:53 PM
1

I think you could benefit from understanding children better. You sound very defensive bitter and angry, which isn't the demeanor to ever show children. They are smarter than you think. You have also unwittingly stumbled on to the solution! Check it out: peacefulparenting.com
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 12:31 AM
2

I had a short term marriage too and her disgusting behavior and things she said to me made me realize that I didn't want her to get pregnant or be the mother of my children. If I was a selfish conniving woman, I would've knocked her up since she made 6x my salary at the time but that would have made the child's life a living hell with lifelong mental health issues, notwithstanding that I'd have to deal with a contentious, condescending, entitled, selfish, miserly, nasty, and cruel woman for the …
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 11:24 PM
2

The court won't care so don't waste your time. Instead, you dictate the terms after outing her scheme to defraud and stick to it without arguing about it. If she is miffed, she can take it to court if she wants and look stupid in front of the judge.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 08:57 PM
1

You got this brother. Check out https://peacefulparenting.com/ You can have a great relationship with your step son!
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 07:40 PM
3

Respect is earned, my friend. Try becoming less of an authoritarian "my way or the highway" kind of guy and instead be the cool uncle whose job isn't to mete out discipline. Each time you ride your step son, he is pushed further away. You won't be able to make up for it by playing catch in the back yard either. You need to be consistent and trustworthy, and treat him as you would want to be treated if you were in his shoes and had your entire family torn apart. Be an ally in other words. It soun…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 06:17 PM
5

Sounds like my stepdad growing up, except mine was violent and emotionally abusive too. Your ex is choosing the security of a financially stable man over her own children, and they intuitively know that. It's shameful and cowardly behavior. He hates them but I'm sure your ex never ceases to defend that monster, insisting how much he loves your kids which is just another lie. Once they leave the house as adults, they will never return or feel welcome there. Your ex is in the process of ruining he…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 06:11 PM
1

You aren't even friends and she'll need to understand that.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 12:24 AM
18

"Behind every strong independent woman is a man paying alimony" -Confucius
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 06:01 PM
7

Withholding the truth from people who deserve to know it is not honorable behavior but you seem like an honorable guy so what gives?
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 05:59 PM
5

Women always have a back up plan with dudes they'll let do anything to them and with them, often carrying on for months or years before we figure it out. At that point we have to accept that she was never ours, it was just our turn. Now it is another man's turn, and then another and another, maybe two at a time, and so forth. Not your problem anymore. Do not pain shop into her personal life. Instead, be the best dad you can be and ignore her as much as possible. Become indifferent to her and let…
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 03:52 PM
4

Pretty women have it so much easier in life, and the red carpet is rolled out for them every step of the way, especially in employment. A "genius" ugly fat woman wouldn't get elite jobs and be in such high demand. My ex was one of those very pretty "genius" woman that wouldn't have got anywhere in life without her looks. Turns out she was merely average in work performance and nothing she did impressed me (we were in the same field). She thought very highly of herself though, and entitled to the…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 10:29 PM
3

Social media, TikTok, Insta, and dating apps have hijacked your wife's brain into thinking she's missing out in life and the grass is greener on the other side. There's nothing you can do about it now, but it is a very common experience. Don't be too hard on yourself, brother. Look out for yourself. You don't need validation from a woman to be happy in life!
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 06:01 PM
3

Brother, it doesn't matter what brand of crazy she is because your mission now is to disengage and look out for numero uno, YOU! The goal should be complete indifference to her, which seems like that's going to take a little time considering how deep she has wormed herself into your mind. Get a lawyer and protect your life. Stop talking to her. Grey rock. 180. You'll never win an argument or score a point with her. She's done and moved on.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 05:54 PM
2

Sorry to hear that. In most jurisdictions in America there are time limits and requirements for alimony awards, which include ability to pay of course but also need for alimony, and need is offset by being in a supportive relationship. That's why most divorced American women won't remarry or live with a dude until their alimony expires, and when it does they'll remarry the next day lol. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 05:37 PM
7

Yeah, women need validation from a man 24/7 or they feel like they don't even exist. Becoming invisible to men is their greatest fear. That's why they turn into complete monsters at middle age. You dodged a bullet, King.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 05:00 PM
4

Well, at least you won't have to pay alimony now that she is in a supportive relationship. Silver lining? Get her to admit her intentions to live with him in a text from you so you can use it in court bc things said in mediation are privileged and inadmissible.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 04:39 PM
3

You'd be a fool to get remarried but a bigger fool to ignore your gut and stay with this family wrecking woman you think is your gf.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 10:55 PM
9

This is the beginning of the end. She's demanding to hold your balls for you in a secure location because that way you'll be more controllable. Proceed with extreme caution or grab your balls and keep them by telling her no and showing her the door. You set a boundary and she is crossing it in the most vicious, callous way. Hard pass.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 10:51 PM
2

That's a king move, King. Good for you on zero tolerance for unjustified disrespect.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 05:20 PM
9

Although perfectly reasonable, she won't like being told no and that you are more attentive to your children than to her. TikTok will confirm all of her insecurities and complaints, and advise her to go live her best life with one of the 100 dudes sliding into her DMs on social media and dating apps. This is the beginning of the end.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 03:27 PM
27

I wouldn't let my ex take credit for a life that was dependent on my monthly payments. That's a lie. Children deserve the truth. Instead, your ex is just lying to them. There's a nice way to address this without throwing shade that also establishes the truth of the matter, "Hey kiddos, thanks for telling me your mom is doing great nowadays. I've done my best to make sure it's easy for her so I pay $4k/month to help out until she can figure out how to do it on her own. It would sure be nice if sh…
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 12:00 AM
3

Sounds like you make enough money to pay for her to stay home for a few years while she finishes her degree. The judge will order that as some kind of 'rehabilitative alimony' or whatever it is called in WA -- probably 2-3 years but expect your wife to now claim it will take AT LEAST 3 years to finish up. This will be in addition to child support. If you have a marriage more than 10 years, there's a good chance alimony will be a great deal longer. Probably should get lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 11:29 PM
2

It's the right call. Never take back a cheater! Period. End of story. Be advised that cheaters admit ONLY to what you can prove 100% but if she is at the point of sending nudes, then they banged. Point is, it is way worse than you thought and she is going to take it to her grave, not that it matters any more. She doesn't respect or love you and lies to your face about an affair. She isn't remorseful and has no empathy for you. You are making the right call, brother. You got this!
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 02:16 PM
0

Those don't count. The algorithm has already cooked her brain so those videos are right wing MAGA racist White Supremacists who should be killed. They really believe that.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 02:02 AM
6

Let her go live vicariously through TikTok and Instagram. It's real to her but will never materialize in real life. She's destined to be unhappy, and unable to be pleased. Good riddance!
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 12:17 AM
7

Ha! You know the game. Make sure you write long emails, several times a day. Serve supplemental interrogatories too while you are at it. Give them something to do 24/7. It's what she signed up for after all.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 10:00 PM
1

Yeah, the whole walking on eggshells thing is for the birds. I hated that too. I gave the cliff notes G-rated version though; it was so much worse.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 06:39 PM
5

I tried reconciling with my cheating ex too and it just wasn't there anymore. After initial trauma bonding, I came to my senses and just found her to be a disgusting person. She also had manly personalities, probably due to overcompensating at work where she had to act like a man but I digress. I just didn't like being around her anymore. She was aggressive, passive aggressive, bossy, contentious, selfish, and more. She also got continuously angry at me for not falling back in love with her head…
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 02:05 PM
2

Hire a lawyer who will make sure you get 50% of the assets or more, including alimony. Listen to your attorney and let them do all the work. There's no reason to talk to your wife about legal matters that will upset her like your right to alimony. Just tell her it would be best if both of you get attorneys and let them take care of it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 10:11 PM
1

Your sons feel like you've chosen some random woman to replace them AND their mother and that you respect her 100x more than them. You blew up their life by cheating on their mom and they resent your demand to respect a homewrecker because it is unreasonable. She is not their mom and never will be. It is an impossible demand to make children love a new partner. They haven't felt like you've put them first at any time in their life, and that you are more interested in succeeding in your new marri…
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 09:18 PM
8

There wasn't anything you could have done about it because boundaries don't work in an age of social media validation that women are drawn to like a moth to a flame. You either have good one who respects and loves you by making your life happy and peaceful, or you do not. Don't be too hard on yourself, brother!
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 11:33 PM
10

"my lawyer says there’s no way we can build a case this quickly so we have to ask for a continuance" Your lawyer is afraid, probably a trial chicken who will convince you to accept a deal and "work it out." He's lazy and doesn't want to prepare for a hearing during the Christmas holidays. You are being played or your attorney lacks experience and confidence. Lawyer got it backwards in any event because your wife is 100% responsible for building a case and with so little time to back up so many l…
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 05:13 PM
5

You shouldn't have negotiated against yourself and dropped alimony. No woman would do that! That alimony could've been used for the benefit of your children. Reconsider that now that she is demanding to claim children as dependents when they aren't even going to be living with her. The audacity to even ask for a benefit she has no basis in law to secure independently!
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 03:23 PM
6

She's thinking if she can't have it, neither can you. Scorched earth is her policy now so buckle up. Very common. Very dishonorable.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 03:20 PM
2

Burner phones are the best cover. It's like an invisible cloak so they can cheat with confidence and impunity.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 06:29 PM
6

In other words, she wants to rob you blind, prevent you from ever retiring, and give other men a turn with her. She's got TikTok and Instagram brain rot; social media certainly ruined her. The grass is often greener for women who do this at that time in a relationship. They are incentivized to do it because it is a financial windfall for them, and they haven't loved their husbands in many years. TikTok confirms it all to be true.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 06:26 PM
2

It never works with a cheater so be thankful she didn't try bc you were ready to flush your self esteem and happiness down the drain in return for being her side piece ... while married. Never take back a cheater. Period. End of story.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 10:20 PM
3

A story about lawyers getting rich off of manipulating the parties into writing blank checks for a shitty result. This is the rule, not the exception.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 03:23 PM
18

2 weeks separated and already trying to find pussy? At 55? Brother, with respect, just say no. Stop it. It reeks of desperation and signals codependency issues at your age. Work on yourself until you become indifferent to woman and immune to needing their validation. Or don't. The dating apps will be a huge wake up call for you anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 03:16 PM
1

Absolutely do not give her a year. 6 months max, but she will know whether she can refinance in 60 days. I'd have her confirm she can refi within 90 days from the date you give the offer. Otherwise, you are giving her free access to delay as long as possible. It happens. You might get along now but things change. What is the remedy for when she doesn't list or refi? You can't list without her signature. Who is going to pay your attorney fees if you have to file for enforcement? That should be in…
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 01:27 AM
11

You will be much happier if you can learn to be indifferent to women and the source of your validation. Because dating is rough out there for dudes over 40. You better be rich, generous with your money, emotionally available, over 6 ft. tall, have an elite physical body, and a high status job. Note that none of these requirements apply to women over 40 who you will find are single mothers, fat, political bullies, poor, mean, and downright ugly. You wasted countless hours searching for that diamo…
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 06:27 PM
0

Like smelling farts?
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 12:09 AM
6

Toilet lids should be closed at all times. Period. End of story. That way, it is the same amount of work for everyone who has to go to the bathroom. Easy.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 12:08 AM
1

I already told him the same thing, but he doesn't listen and would rather spend the money on formal service.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 09:38 PM
2

That's my point. You do NOT have to serve her formally if she voluntarily avails herself of the personal jurisdiction of the court by filing an answer, which is the very point of formal service: to require the filing of an answer or other responsive pleading within the statutory time period. You can also hire a process server or, better, pay the Sheriff's Dept.'s Civil Process Division to serve the paperwork for you. Whatever you want to do is fine.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 07:16 PM
1

Just give it to her and all she has to do is file an answer in court = served.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 06:07 PM
1

Without the appropriate legal documentation, you're correct that some hospitals would refuse access. However, attorneys draft documents all the time to address these issues: HIPPAA Release, Designation of Health Care Surrogate, Durable Power of Attorney, Living Wills, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 11:46 PM
2

Good for you but all marriages feel great until they aren't great anymore. You don't need to be married and put your entire life at risk to experience a committed relationship with a woman. Some people get married multiple times and never learn, but what do I care if your life is in the hands of a woman who can legally blow it up anytime she wants and there's nothing you can do about it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 07:54 PM
3

HIre a lawyer and let them interface with her. Ignore everything she says. Listen to your lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 05:27 PM
3

LOL. Did you forget where you are? It's a place where men have learned that there is nothing in it for them to get married: it's 100% risk, and no reward.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 02:25 PM
5

Does she want to truly connect or have him perform as a prerequisite to her fantasy of connection, which itself is manufactured by her addiction to TikTok and Instagram algorithms pumping her up? No man can compete with the SM algorithm! Her "connection" is likely related to the algorithm not him, organically. IOW, she was told how to feel by strangers based on how he should perform, but that feeling may not ever materialize. It's probably over.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 01:46 AM
8

Stomping your feet and screaming "LOVE ME LOVE ME BETTER" never works. His wife needs to realize that before it spirals into divorce. You are putting this all on him, but relationships need two working together with the intent of improving the other's life for it to work. At present, she wants him to do 100% of the work while contributing nothing but judgment and being contentious. No way to save that kind of relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 01:38 AM
6

My ex used to preface every insult and criticism with "I feel like" in an attempt to invoke a therapy session, to which I replied that she couldn't just say whatever she wanted to me hiding behind her feelings; that it sounded like she needed to talk to a therapist about her problems, not me. We got divorced a few months after that lol
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 12:53 AM
8

TikTok brain. It's over.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 12:44 AM
24

You will never be good enough for her, brother. That's what she is telling you. She knows it is true bc she spends all day scrolling TikTok and Insta, mainlining the algorithm straight into her veins. You simply cannot compete with that. I'd check her phone and SM if I were you. Her fantasies for intimacy in your relationship aren't being satisfied and I'd be surprised if she doesn't have a second life with the dudes sliding into her DMs.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 11:00 PM
3

Yes, a prenup would've protected your premarital assets and the equity gained during the marriage. Make sure you factor in closing costs for her portion of the equity in the your home, including appraisal fees, taxes, and brokerage fees. She shouldn't be able to skim the max off of equity without paying her fair share of the costs if it was sold on the market. No unjust enrichment!
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 09:29 PM
3

Sounds like you are good, man. Tell her to pound sand
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 05:59 PM
4

Check the final judgment and see if you were awarded "exclusive use and possession" of the home, which you should have been. If not, your attorney committed malpractice. I wouldn't let my ex step one foot on property that was awarded solely to me. Period. End of story. There is no reason for her to be there except to stir up conflict and be contentious. Her insatiable need to bark out orders without doing any work herself will have to be directed towards another sucker. But that's just me.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 03:00 PM
3

Right. Only YOUR domestic violence case was heard. She wasn't on trial for HER domestic violence, which she 100% committed. The judge cannot adjudicate an issue that was not brought to the court. Often times, competing DV petitions get dismissed when both parties file them. This was a strategic error on behalf of your attorney if he advise you not to file one against her.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 11:26 PM
1

Why didn't your attorney file a cross petition against her? Seems like it would've been a slam dunk since she was the aggressor and admitted to throwing a vase at you.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 10:27 PM
2

Same thing happened to my brother, brother. Don't be too hard on yourself and NEVER accept any brainwashing that you are a terrible person. Obviously, you know right from wrong and the punishment is disproportionate to the offense, as usual. The problem is your STBX. Remove yourself from her and enjoy the magic of silence and peace.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 10:25 PM
6

OP has a cheater on board for sure
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 04:03 PM
5

Sounds like your wife has already moved on because she is exhibiting classic signs of a cheater. Nobody does a 180 for no reason. Check her phone and SM. Don't be surprised when you find out and it all makes sense. File for divorce. It's expensive, but worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 03:58 PM
1

I thought I was an accessory on her bucket list
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 09:42 PM
4

Never take back a cheater. Full stop. Put the car in park. Get out. Why do people always say that? Some people FAFO, testing whether golden axioms of life are in fact true. Now you know it is true. It's never a bad time to divorce a cheater.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 07:48 PM
7

Contemporaneous with filing for a divorce, my ex said, "I will always love you" which immediately caused me to experience white hot rage. Talk about being tone deaf and delusional! I said, "Love? You are a cheater. We aren't even friends. Never say that to me again. It's manipulative and I don't believe it for a second." And that was that. Never spoke to her or saw her again in my life.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 09:03 PM
11

Major red flag buddy. No sex means she's done. You gave her a baby. What does she need sex for anymore? Ask her, she'll tell you. I divorced for this very reason. Asked my ex if we were ever going to have sex again in a joking way, and she said she was done. Didn't want me to touch her, didn't want to be touched. Then she took my daughter away from me and moved 6000 miles away. I tried the best I could, but that distance makes it impossible to have a relationship with your daughter. Good luck br…
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 07:54 PM
1

Yep. The first time my ex wife said she wanted a divorce, I 100% believed her and started to plan my life without her in it. I immediately became indifferent to her and lost all respect for her. She knew what she did and 3 months later she filed. No kids was a blessing. Never spoke to her or saw her again.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 02:23 PM
11

It's better to be alone than with a contentious wife that has no love or respect for you. Don't put all your hopes on finding a woman to make you happy because at your age, trust me brother, the women are a mess and you'll spend countless hours chasing stretched out overweight kitty proving this to yourself. Become indifferent to women and break the spell. Find new friends and get a dog. You will be much happier than you can even imagine.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 02:18 PM
4

Your wife does care about your financial harm and that's the sole reason she's taking it to court. She wants to see you financially ruined, and have the court make you pay her back for all the money spent on attorneys to make it happen.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 09:21 PM
-3

Don't worry about your EU residency. They let anyone come in without IDs or background checks. In fact, if you lose your identity you can make a whole new one up and go on welfare for the rest of your life. Great retirement plan!
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 08:37 PM
2

Waiting will only cost you more money, maybe a lot more. Property values increase, retirement accounts grow and get funded, raises from a job, etc. ... all split 50/50. Moreover, as time elapses, your wife will have an even stronger argument for alimony, both in more per month and longer in time, perhaps permanent. If you want to wait, the only winning strategy is getting your wife's ass employed to the highest paying job possible with opportunities for advancement and raises. If you do wait, ta…
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 11:59 PM
6

Don't disclose everything. Make them find it. Yes, it is true that women lie in every single court case, and their attorneys know it and also encourage it. They do so by "plausible deniability" ... in other words, the attorneys can't prove their client is lying but it helps their case and it doesn't matter what they "feel" is true. So whatever their woman client says is the real truth, so long as you can't prove it is a lie, which is very difficult to do without any corroborating evidence. Knowi…
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 09:38 PM
9

Take out whatever you can and book a trip to Vegas. Return with nothing. Never speak a word about it to anyone until you've been going to Gambler's Anonymous for a month. Remember the golden rule of court: it's okay to lie about whatever you want, especially by omission, so long as they can't prove it was a lie. That's what every judge and attorney and woman who has ever been to court taught me.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 08:58 PM
5

No fault divorce means you can divorce for any reason or no reason at all. Some things are better left unsaid, but you should at least tell your wife you are gay before you bounce. That could give her all the closure she needs, but to rewrite her entire life with the lies you lived is cruel and unnecessary.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 12:58 AM
1

Kratom saved my mental health. Consider giving it a try. Start with 2 grams. Don't listen to the lies about it being dangerous (it's not). Big Pharma doesn't like natural remedies for anything.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/25 05:08 PM
22

I'd cut them out of the loop and never mention them again. Leave it up to your sons to stay in contact with them if they want. They are evil people.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 07:53 PM
1

At least you will always be able so say she's a cheater and you are better than her. Never take back a cheater. Good riddance. You will see that too one day, king.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 06:52 PM
4

She should've been prosecuted criminally and then they would have required her to quit drinking and enter into substance abuse treatment. Why didn't your lawyer push for that?
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 12:03 AM
3

Go skiing. You'll have the whole mountain to yourself (mostly).
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/25 09:34 PM
5

I think about stuff like that every day, my brother. You aren't alone. I retired at 45 and just wonder what the purpose of life is when it's basically only you.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 11:55 PM
2

Same here. I returned from an oversees trip ostensibly to be available for a family cruise the following week and I was met with divorce papers at the airport. I was summarily disinvited to the family cruise, which was already 100% paid for. I never spoke to or saw my exwife again (she had moved out too when I was oversees).
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 01:18 AM
1

That was a very dumb thing for your attorney to put in your settlement agreement without VERY SPECIFIC terms and conditions that when met by you cannot be denied and would require your exwife to file a motion to block you. Instead, you are in the position of having to file an enforcement motion with the court if she denies travel, which she clearly intends to do. She's jealous and this has nothing to do with safety.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 11:35 PM
3

That's not even permanent alimony land in CA, the absolute WORST jurisdiction you can be in to get divorced. File soon before you breach the 10 year mark! Age, ability to work and become self sufficient, time to retirement, education level, work experience, incomes, and imputing a reasonable income to your wife through a vocational expert if you have to are all relevant factors too.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 11:31 PM
6

Money well spent. Finding the right lawyer by doing your due diligence and vetting them to find the best will save you many, many thousands of dollars!
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 11:27 PM
5

Lawyers are like pants, so they don't always fit correctly. Find a lawyer who doesn't make you feel like shit while zealously representing you. A little pushback from your lawyer is okay, and you need that, but not from an arrogant know it all who is spinning up your emotions to fight tooth and nail so you will take it to the distance regardless of cost. After all, what do you have to lose by going to a very, very expensive trial when you are looking at permanent alimony forever? She may be play…
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 11:26 PM
3

I had a really good lady friend do that to me but we didn't actually get to sex. She crossed a boundary that I wasn't ready for and now I no longer talk to her. She was a friend for 30 years too. She made it weird and I'll never understand it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 10:31 PM
8

Never take back a cheater. Period. End of story. But an unrepentant, lying, gaslighting cheater? Double to the hell tf no! Why would you want to take back a cheater? You don't love the cheater, you love what you thought she was before she cheated and your mind is preventing you from seeing the real her: a lying cheater who stabbed you in the back and continues to gaslight you. She doesn't respect or love you, brother. She isn't your friend. She doesn't care that you've done any work on yourself …
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 12:18 AM
3

There is no such thing as unconditional love so don't over romanticize that but breaking up is hard to do when one decides it's over. Men have no power in a marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 07:57 PM
13

"She said she would never cheat or do anything to hurt our marriage" Yet, your whole post is ostensibly about her behavior that is hurting your marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 07:48 PM
31

You are in the stage of marriage where your wife treats you worse than everyone else in her life. You are enemy #1. Everyone else in her life, from her boss to colleagues to even random strangers -- all get treated 100x better than you. She is not passive aggressive with anyone else, nor snippy or bossy, or rude, or nasty. Just you. There are only two outcomes for you now: either she fixes her horrible behavior and treatment of you or she does not. If she decides to treat you better, great, but …
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/25 10:58 PM
1

Children define the relationship with their parents when they age up or age out. There's nothing a parent can do about it if their kids unilaterally decide to cut off all contact. My daughter did the same to me and I can't understand it. All I have ever shown her was love and attention and amazing experiences.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/25 12:22 AM
1

No single moms, brother. Hard no. Do NOT pass go. Do NOT collect baby daddy's child support. And don't say we didn't warn you lol Bowing out for your mental health and ostensibly due to a change in circumstances is the best decision. Don't worry about your friend, he'll understand. If he guilt trips you in any way, he isn't the great friend you think he is.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/25 04:50 PM
1

The relationship with your children will ultimately be 100% decided by your children as they age. All you can do is your best and be present. If they decide that's not good enough, it is still their decision.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/25 11:41 PM
5

Stop thinking about it and hire a lawyer. Staying 2.5 more years in a marriage will be detrimental to your case. Why not divorce now? You two can still agree to the living arrangement after divorce. 40% of your check is ridiculous. Hard no. Consider a lump sum payment for alimony. Word it right and you can discharge it in bankruptcy court.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/25 10:34 PM
19

Being a principled man living with virtue and honor is the hardest thing to do in the world. Women do not have any such desire to live like that.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/25 03:25 PM
3

I've got a 16 year old daughter who wants nothing to do with me. All I've ever shown her was love, encouragement, awesome experiences, and interest in her life. She lives in a different country with her mother and I only get to see her for a couple months in the summer, but I thought we had good times. This year she said she doesn't want to visit me anymore. Haven't heard a word from her since she left. I don't understand it but there is nothing I can do about it. The relationship a parent has w…
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/25 12:51 AM
2

If you are at the point of threatening to kick her children out of the house for not listening, then maybe the relationship has run its course. Separating a mother from her children ostensibly to have a better relationship with their mom isn't right. I had a stepfather who did just that and it forever destroyed my relationship with my mother. She was incredibly sad for the remainder of her life. Just another reason to avoid getting involved with a single mom. It's too complicated.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 07:44 PM
16

Never be a stepfather. Ever.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 11:06 PM
4

You are going to be sorely disappointed with women over 45. It's a lot different thinking an overweight grandma you just met is sexy verses watching an 18 year old grow old gracefully while retaining the eternal images of her youth. Personally, I'm not attracted to 50 year old overweight grandmas, but I understand that there are many men who are. Unfortunately, personal validation based on the attention of a woman is a losing game. Good luck out there.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 09:07 PM
7

"I demand the house is sold or I'm bought out." Hopefully that is ordered in the final judgment, but my question is why isn't the house listed for sale?
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 01:48 PM
3

It's a support group with dudes who want to help each other. It probably isn't a good idea to go pain shopping trying to find stories that are worse or better than yours, especially in the initial stages of shellshock. But when you get to a point of emotional control, the value of the advice from seasoned dudes is priceless. Hope you will come back around after you've run your own divorce gauntlet and share your experiences, wisdom, and knowledge to help others out in the future. The very act of…
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 07:58 PM
2

You are a good man and good father to make these sacrifices and one day your son will see it too.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 11:53 PM
2

Your son is being manipulated, obviously. Mr. New Guy comes on the scene having bypassed all hard work of parenting from a real dad and swoops in with Play Stations and motorbikes. Of course your son is going to think he's cool but he will never be your son's father. And don't worry, soon the shine of the new toys will be gone and they'll be used against your son to further manipulate his behavior. IMO, a boyfriend or stepparent shouldn't be anything more to your kid than a cool uncle. He should…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 11:49 PM
2

You can't outsource your happiness to anybody else, especially with a woman bc when they pull the rug out, and they will, you will be left in the position you are in now. Get a dog and go to therapy. You need that 1000x more than a disloyal wife in a dysfunctional marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 07:50 PM
3

The first time I disagreed with my ex, she wanted a divorce lol. You can't make a woman happy, and it isn't worth trying.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 02:04 PM
6

Advice is to ignore her and push forward with the house sale so both of you can split the proceeds. She can invest in a home herself and put it in a trust for the benefit of the kids, but that is the last thing she will do. Why? Because she is selfish and wants the benefit of essentially owning your assets while denying their use to you.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 01:14 AM
2

You better get ahead of it by taking the initiative to get your daughter in therapy when it is your court ordered timesharing time. You don't need your ex's opinion or consent. Your daughter needs help to manage the conflicting emotions she doesn't understand or really has any experience with yet. If you don't get her help, she will continue to spiral and incorporate anti-social behaviors of her mother into her personality, where it will take root and become permanent. Good luck, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 04:38 PM
17

When the challenges of real life happened, your wife acted nothing like how you described her. How she acts is the real her - selfish, self-centered, self-righteous, unapologetic, disrespectful, dishonorable, liar and a cheater. There is nothing to understand and it will drive you crazy to try to understand a cheater's irrational thoughts. They aren't good people.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 03:13 PM
2

She needs therapy and a job. The benefits of a life of leisure as a SAHM are over. You are not obligated to pay for her leisurely life for the rest of yours. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 01:27 PM
1

A second mortgage requires both signatures. No lawyer is going to allow her to do that so you'll need to come up with another funding source to pay off her equity if you want to keep the house.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 12:43 PM
3

All parents indoctrinate their children into their worldview. Under your reasoning, nobody can be a good parent. He can indoctrinate them into his worldview during his timesharing, right? Even if that makes him a bad parent.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 12:50 AM
3

Unfortunately you really can't do anything about it but at the end of the day, why do you care about something you don't even believe in?
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 11:42 PM
1

Judges in Florida really don't want to try divorce cases and they will do everything in their power to force the attorneys to work it out. It actually pisses Judges off when attorneys force a trial bc they can't work it out. That said, direct your attorney to file a motion to set the case for final hearing. It's really the only thing you can do unless you can agree to settle.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 11:30 PM
3

Sounds exhausting to constantly be on guard to keep her in line like a little child! You seem to be having fun with it though and you've got the right attitude.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 10:34 PM
2

Never take back a cheater, and never second guess yourself about never taking back a cheater either. WTF is this "It could've worked if you hadn't told everyone" horseshit? Cheaters are truly tone deaf narcissists, and the most selfish of all people. It's just all about them, always, all the time. They can cheat and turn it around so they are the victim lol. It's truly remarkable. How about, "it could've worked if you didn't cheat" instead? Once she cheated, respect and love dies, and you will n…
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 04:46 PM
4

Upload the emails to Grok or some other AI. You'll get your answer immediately.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 09:06 PM
2

Many such cases but there is a silver lining in being bullied by a career boss babe that causes you to shut down. Well, at least for me. Suffering a contentious wife resulted in me becoming indifferent and expecting a divorce. When she sperged out for the last time and tried to get nominated for best villain in a drama award with a parting "I'm filing for divorce!!" I simply thought, finally. I was cool with it by that point.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 08:27 PM
3

Sounds like she's teeing you up with a Silver Bullet divorce soon. Only way to get ahead of that is to do it yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 08:15 PM
2

I've been struggling with similar thoughts, brother. I'm on the other end of a divorce, however, and my daughter is now 16. I only get to see her for a few weeks in the summer bc she lives in another country. There are circumstances that I don't want to get into that resulted in her and my ex leaving to her home country, but suffice it to say I still believe the arrangement is my daughter's best interest and I freely consented to it. I could've pulled her passport, but that would've destroyed he…
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 11:21 PM
21

I would never protect the reputation of a cheater. Period. End of story.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 07:43 PM
6

Let her go. She wants children. You do not. This is an easy one.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 07:41 PM
1

I bet she is constantly on social media comparing herself to others who have much better lives, more money, more beautiful, and better partners. Does she run to social media for validation algorithms when she's upset? Asking for a divorce is another massive problem bc it intuitively makes you go into self protection mode and shut down even more as you prepare for the inevitable.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 08:33 PM
8

1/2 your assets, 1/2 her debt at least, and 17 years of child support. Perhaps some temporary spousal support. I assume "partner" means you are married.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 06:21 PM
6

"We are in our separation but we never said that we both are free to see other people during this time" You don't have to say it because that's what everyone understands a separation to mean. You are separating ostensibly in preparation for divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 05:25 PM
2

Case is over, there is no ethical violation. Freedom of association is afforded to lawyers as well. Old career boss babe career lawyer probably missed out in life and never had any kids of her own and is at least once divorced herself. She was too busy breaking up families and destroying children's relationships with their parents to have any of her own. She has to live vicariously through others at this point. Sad, really.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 01:45 PM
3

Only way for that to backfire is if the judge rejects your MSA, which has almost a zero chance of happening. Otherwise, you good. I bought a Ducati Monster 696 when my MSA was signed.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 07:06 PM
4

Please get a lawyer asap to establish paternity and have your rights as a father legally set. The notarized agreement does not have any legal bearing unless you can get it incorporated some way into your paternity case. Do not antagonize her until you get your kids sorted, legally. She can make your life a living hell by denying you access to your kids until a judge orders it. Moreover, without an order on paternity, she's free to flee the state right now and relocated anywhere she wants to with…
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 01:38 PM
8

So having access to just 1/2 the family income with double the living expenses from maintaining two separate households is her idea of a superior financial situation? Nah, her miserable broke friends want company.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 11:29 PM
3

Tell her you are broke and need her help with the mortgage for a while. That should do it. A more direct approach would just to simply tell her you don't want to be married anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 07:47 PM
5

I think everyone has a right to know who their biological dad is tbh. There could be medical issues related to family histories but knowing the truth is more important.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 01:09 PM
5

Apologies are like kryptonite to women for some reason. Even when they know they are in the wrong and should apologize, they reflexively deflect as a matter of instinct with three magic words: "I feel like ...." before dumping on YOU how YOU made her feel so that YOU will understand there is no need for YOU to get an apology!
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 03:44 PM
7

My ex made something to eat for me exactly once. She took a piece of pita bread, smeared some Ragu sauce on it, sprinkled some parmesan cheese and then microwaved it for 30 seconds. It was such a struggle for her to put it together, and "serve" a man by handing me the finished product on a paper plate. She called it a pizza. I called it grounds for divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 05:32 PM
6

Never show her another emotion again. Remain civil, but forget the small talk. In fact, commit to communicating via text or email only, and never send a wall of text about personal things again. She's checked out and doesn't care. She's moved on and as difficult as it is to hear, she probably has a boyfriend or at the very least 20 dudes hitting her up on SM for her to choose from soon. It doesn't get easier when they start dating so soon but that's the realty and it is best to get it ahead of i…
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/25 01:16 PM
16

Trust your gut. Your wife will never admit it but the silver lining is that there is obviously a lot of problems in your marriage. Talk to a lawyer. File for divorce. Living life under constant feelings of betrayal by your wife isn't sustainable. In the off chance your wife is not cheating and loves you with all her heart and respects you like on the day of your marriage, suggest a polygraph to dispose of the misapprehensions. Her reaction will be the answer you need.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/25 12:45 AM
12

My ex was on Prozac for her entire life and that's exactly how she presented to me too. No empathy at all. No emotions behind her eyes except anger, just a cold blank stare most of the time. Her emotions were flatlined.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/25 04:32 PM
8

All relationships are conditional so when they say "I want a divorce" they are really saying that the conditions for divorce they have set up have officially been met.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/25 04:27 PM
35

It's disgusting that a wife would tell her husband that his dick wasn't good enough and that she now wants new, strange dicks - MULTIPLE DICKS! - and she is going to spend all her free time trying to find it. That is a wicked person and not your friend, maybe never was.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/25 04:26 PM
12

100%!! Good sex with your wife is awesome but if she is acting like an unemotional porn star with you, there is a good chance she's just using your body to masturbate and uses sex as a transaction. There's a better chance she's on SSRI's, birth control, and other emotional regulators to cope with being so shallow and living life without empathy. I think sex with an escort would be more enjoyable, honestly.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/25 12:59 PM
10

I love cathartic stories like this. Fuck that ring! I sold mine to a pawn shop but it should've been thrown in a sewer.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 11:58 PM
1

She's not your friend, and clearly hasn't been for a very long time.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 10:46 PM
5

Yet, somehow she "chooses" to be nice to her divorced whammen friends, and quite frankly everybody else she meets in public during the day. Amazing that she has that kind of control over "biological" happenings that she doesn't even have a choice about! It is only the special moments in private with her husband where Krampus comes out and, by no choice of her own, tortures him.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 02:20 PM
10

A man's story about how men are, and always will be, stronger than women because the toughest tests in life are given only over to men to solve.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 02:13 PM
2

What do you think of the collaborative divorce process? How long has it been going on and how much have you spent on it so far? If the divorce had been finalized, this would be a lot easier for you.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 11:04 PM
15

Once your wife bangs her boyfriend, it's over. There's no coming back from that brother. Stay the course, listen to your attorney and let him/her do the heavy lifting. Do not speak to her unless it is about parenting, and do so only by text/email so much as it is possible. Never let her see another emotion from you again! Be stoic and even keeled. You got this!
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 06:51 PM
15

At least she told you she loves money more than you, and that her love was conditional upon how much money you make. Quid pro quo love is fake af and doesn't work. The crazy thing is that she's lying. She's just envious of your lifestyle and figures if she has to work two jobs, why shouldn't you? Women also believe their money is all theirs and your money is hers too so it is an inability to share thing, which is another relationship killer. More proof she is lying is that a divorce makes financ…
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 10:21 PM
1

Unfortunately, that money is half hers brother. Nothing you can do about it when you commingle assets because that immediately vests title in your wife.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 08:51 PM
9

Absolutely not. Hard no.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 03:57 PM
1

Are you actually getting a marriage license with the state? Or are you just having a private ceremony on the beach in front of friends and families but no marriage license? If the former, may I ask why you need to get a marriage license at all?
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/25 11:39 PM
2

Get her in therapy or buy her a punching bag that she can go at for a week while she's under the spell of hormonal attacks. But the abusive behavior and harsh words of criticism against you during that time must stop. She needs to figure out a better way to live with herself by not attacking you, otherwise I don't see how your marriage is going to last. Good luck, I hope it works out for you guys.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/25 07:30 PM
3

Same story with me bro. Hardest thing is learning how to forgive ourselves for giving a cheater a second chance. Like you, I gave up after a couple of months. I just didn't respect her anymore and was ashamed that she was my wife. She became increasingly contentious, angry, argumentative, and sour, but she never apologized and rug swept everything with the magic words, "I don't expect you to forgive me because I'll never forgive myself. I suffered too!!" Even so, we were simply making the best d…
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/25 06:17 PM
6

Keep stacking those wins, King!
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 11:43 PM
3

I'm sorry I had to say it. The key point is that she is not your friend. Friends do NOT do that to each other, nor does it even enter their minds to act and say such foul things to their "friends." No, that it is pure, 100% manipulation. She is not your friend! If she is not your friend, how can you love THAT? A friendship is a precursor to romantic love. Without a friendship, there can be no love. Been there, done that.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 12:34 AM
2

Arranged marriages are weird. Almost no man would agree to such a thing, especially those who post here. Why did you agree to an arranged marriage to a woman who obviously didn't love you? What was your thought process? Is that the only way to get pussy or what? I just don't understand it. Women are the same all over the world now that they have access to the hive mind on social media and the internet.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 12:09 AM
21

Sounds like a living hell, brother. If a woman asks for divorce, believe her. If she asks twice, file yourself because that marriage is over.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 10:08 PM
5

She's clearly checked out, brother. She doesn't love you anymore, doesn't respect you anymore, actively DISRESPECTS you on the daily, and is not your friend. You "giving up" is out of frame because it is irrelevant to the reality of the fact that she's given up and her contentious behavior is for one purpose only: to convince you that she has 100% given up on the marriage and will become increasingly hostile until you finally get it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 05:49 PM
3

My ex never had my daughter wish me a happy Father's Day, and she's had my daughter for Father's Day since the beginning. No card, no call, no text .. I might as well be invisible. Same thing with my birthday until last year when I reminded my daughter that I had a birthday too. But she didn't say happy birthday on her own, it was a reaction to telling her about my birthday. It only happened once so this year I don't expect anything. She's 16 now so who she is is who she is for the most part. Sh…
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 01:09 AM
8

Sounds exhausting, especially when there isn't any reciprocity. What does she do to date YOU? This is just pedestalizing a woman, and creates an entitlement attitude. It's better to find a woman who needs a leader, not a follower jumping through hoops trying to please her 24/7 bc you will never win that game.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 11:25 PM
1

There's no reason for a collaborative divorce whatsoever. It's a scam and limits your tools of negotiation otherwise available in court, including expediting setting the case for a final hearing in order to force the other party to end the case one way or another. Finding "collaborate" attorneys is however very helpful, meaning attorneys who know how to keep emotions in check, expectations tempered, and are committed to resolving the case as quickly as possible so you can get on with your life.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 04:42 PM
6

That sounds exhausting tbh. Women can't even understand their emotions so it's probably not a good idea for a man to try to become more emotional Women do not like weepy, emotional men. They say they want an "emotionally available" man but they really don't. Try crying in front of a woman and see if that makes you more desirable lol. Women don't even know what they want and being emotional like a woman with woman will get you the ick, quick.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 11:53 PM
7

It wasn't important to me to figure out what I did wrong because I did my best under the circumstances with the information available to me at the time. If I would've done something different given what I know now, it is only because I have new information and experiences to draw from. That being said, I have a hard time forgiving myself for being weak, simping, not enforcing boundaries, and in general not heeding the many red flags I knew about before we got married. The things I did wrong only…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 11:48 PM
1

Anything that can be abused, will be abused but Kratom is relatively harmless. A lot of misinformation is pushed about Kratom to protect Big Pharma. It's no more dangerous than coffee. Compared to OP's alcohol problem, it's nothing in comparison and in fact a healthy alternative. Cigarettes? Worse! How about cocaine, weed, or fentanyl? All worse!! If Kratom can be used instead of Big Pharma drugs for depression and anxiety, I would think a natural, organic option would be preferred by most peopl…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 10:54 PM
3

I don't think therapists actually believe that, it is just something they say to make their clients feel better because it gives them hope even though it is a lie. Successful remarriages work about as well as a reconciliation after walking in on your wife banging a random dude on your side of the bed. There are too many reasons for the divorce in the first place which never got resolved, the shame of a divorce, and the fact that the wife is going to be riding carousals means no man is getting ba…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 06:11 PM
1

Try Kratom, my friend. It helps tremendously with depression and substance abuse.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 12:17 AM
5

"She wants to be alone" Yeah, no she doesn't. Sorry for your loss, brother, but she's gone. Let her go.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 11:51 PM
2

She wants you to put on an invisible cloak but continue paying for her life of leisure so she doesn't have to work anymore for the rest of her life. That's what true love means to a woman after a few years of marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 06:29 PM
3

Don't look for a quick fix by rushing out to get a girlfriend to fill the hole in your heart. Obviously, never get a marriage license again even though you dodged a bullet this time. Instead, keep doing what you are doing to improve yourself. Being in shape and eating healthy are 75% of the battle. Consider reading some books to help you understand yourself better and why women are crazy. I suggest "Boundaries" and "The Manipulated Man" If you can make new friends, find friends with shared hobbi…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 06:15 PM
10

My ex wife did that to me saying, "I don't need this anymore" as she took it off her finger and placed it in the center console of my car. She got out and I never saw or spoke to her again. I remember thinking it was rather dramatic and cruel. Then I remembered women love drama and intentionally hurting people for some reason. I laugh at that memory now. But the thing is, I had no use for the ring so I put it in a box of dumb shit she wanted and gave it back. Never heard another word about it. A…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 05:28 PM
3

She's psychologically abusing you, brother, and you are beginning to realize that her rejections are more sinister than simply being turned down because she actively threatens to destroy your life if you seek happiness with a woman who actually wants you. So she keeps a good man down and depressed, unhappy and unwanted, which somehow gives her sense of peace and accomplishment. That is sick. Might as well rip the bandaid off now because you will never be the object of affection for your wife aga…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 03:55 PM
4

The crazy thing is if you seek to have your biological needs met by someone else because your wife refuses and belittles you for even asking, she'll go ballistic and melt down for losing control of you, accompanied by all the bells and whistles of yelling, anger, tears, harsh words, etc. It's the fear of losing manipulation and control of their target that enrages the narcissist the most. Or maybe she wouldn't care at all, in which case you'll know she's hated you for at least a decade.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 01:03 PM
2

She's delusional. Commingled assets are marital assets, without nuance. You may have to contribute to her attorney fees if you make more than her, but you are better off letting the judge decide how much, if any at all. Wedding expenses occurred before the marriage so she's SOL. It's all about the money now. Stand your ground.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 08:51 PM
3

The reality is that kids don't really GAF about old pictures. They don't even have time to look at all the ones they've taken themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 08:45 PM
5

I did all that the day the divorce was filed. Got rid of every memory of her overnight. It was cathartic.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 08:43 PM
4

You shouldn't feel guilty for being an honest man with good intentions doing things for the best interests of your wife. This is all on her, but she's probably on SSRIs so she'll never feel guilty about anything. Forgive yourself for being naive and not working on latent issues you didn't even know existed. Be grateful you can deal with them head on now and rid them from your life forever. Try to find a cool hobby you can be obsessed with. That has helped me a lot. Mine is playing guitar. Creati…
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 07:29 PM
6

Dating is exhausting but even that pales in comparison to the grind of trying to keep a woman happy while competing with 100 DMs a day and 5000 likes for posting selfies. No thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 02:04 PM
2

That's a good tool for negotiation and mediation, but it is not admissible evidence in court.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 01:12 PM
9

Fat, tatted up, and nose ring.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/25 11:20 PM
2

Hire your own appraiser. The judge will probably split the difference.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/25 09:56 PM
28

I regret not divorcing my ex immediately upon hearing her say for the first time "I want a divorce." I did not instinctively try to save anything and she quickly capitulated and took it back, but without apologizing ofc lol. That killed the last bit of fire I had in the marriage and I wasn't going to be caught off guard the next time it happened; I was preparing for the end of the marriage. Funny thing is, she didn't have to "ask" for a divorce. 3 months later she showed up at the airport to pic…
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 10:15 PM
6

She's already started the manipulation because she isn't your friend anymore. Think about that for a second, then repeat it to yourself 1000x times a day for the next week. Now it's business. Get a lawyer asap. This is non negotiable! The stress of divorce will still be there but it will be significantly reduced to hand it over to a professional. If you keep talking to her like you are still happily married, you are making a mistake and she will use your good will against you and take more than …
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 03:59 PM
5

For most cases that should be the case, but that "sticks and stones" nonsense is a filthy lie told to children. Words hurt. Falsely accusing your partner is unforgiveable. Some things cannot be forgotten once said and will worm its way into every fiber of your being when thinking about the person who said evil. We all have those boundaries. Suppose she called you a child molester in the heat of an argument? Or demanded a divorce? Our mouths are the most powerful force in a relationship, whether …
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 07:40 PM
13

Comparing your husband to past sexual partners, whether just reminiscing about all the "fun" you had with many men or used as a pejorative to demean your husband's performance in the bedroom, is instant grounds for divorce. Period. End of story. Don't even pass go before talking to a lawyer because that kind of marriage is a charade.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 07:35 PM
4

Haha. I dated a vegan once. They are CRAZY and legit have mental problems. The most selfish, self centered, and self righteous people on the planet. It was a disaster!
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 08:41 PM
2

She isn't offering half though AND he is entitled to alimony which you conveniently leave out saying he should "grow a pair." I'm sorry you were screwed over in your divorce like the rest of us, but here is a guy we should help who can actually come out on the other side in one piece.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 08:39 PM
2

Talk to a lawyer, ofc, but before you do learn everything you can about divorce in your state. Every state has pro se family law instructions and self help material and learning about it will make your life easier. You'll know what questions to ask your lawyer. You'll know what issues are in play, etc. Then you can start plugging in numbers and scenarios into Grok or some other legal optimized AI. Using this info and what you've learned from your state's family law self help system, you'll be re…
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/25 01:09 AM
5

The death of a perfect wife would likely turn most men into a ghost and suffer crippling depression.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 11:38 PM
6

Not really advisable to date anyway during a contentious divorce. Men need a couple years figuring out who they are again after a divorce before dating, imho. $150k on a divorce is absurd. Your lawyers are failing you by finding ways to keep you pissed off and playing your STBX like an emotional fiddle to authorize fighting over every single issue, including who gets the silverware and office chair. But to your original point, the answer is that, yes, women are calculating and manipulative. It j…
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 09:53 PM
14

Reconciliation is almost always a bad idea because you won't work on the things that caused the breakup. After a brief period of trauma bonding sex, all of the resentments will come rushing back in twice as powerful as before but this time you'll be mad at yourself for being so stupid to take her back.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 08:11 PM
14

The best revenge is living your best life, but with the caveat that you have become completely indifferent to her. Emotionless. No care or concern. No love and no hate. But forgive yourself first for allowing yourself to be used by a slatternly woman. Chalk it up as little head making those decisions but the big head is back in charge now going forward. In other words, don't be too hard on yourself. Breakups and divorce are so much easier for women because they've got a line of dudes stretching …
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 07:56 PM
7

File a bar complaint against her lawyer because that is disbarment level of unethical behavior. Absolutely disgusting that a lawyer would advise their client to LIE and commit perjury for pecuniary advantage in a lawsuit. Don't let that mofo get away with it!
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 05:11 PM
3

Just take half of it and don't worry about the value because 1/2 is yours no matter how much it is worth. It's the only way to guarantee your fair share. Get a QDRO.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 04:30 PM
1

I bought a drum set when I was married and it drove my ex crazy. It's not fun listening to someone learn how to play the drums lol Found out that playing drums is HARD. I wanted to play like Keith Moon and Stewart Copeland but that was never going to happen. Gave it up and just stuck with guitar, which is what I'm actually pretty good at playing lol
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 11:07 PM
4

I bought a Ducati Monster 696.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 11:03 PM
15

Brother, it sounds like your life just took a turn for the better. What am I missing here?
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 10:17 PM
3

After full financial disclosures that you know to be true and accurate, there's nothing wrong with expediting a divorce. Trust but verify her income and determine if she is receiving non-cash benefits like health insurance, retirement accounts, stock options, bonuses, commissions, etc. I got my divorce done in about 60 days. You'll need to spend significant time on a parenting plan, however.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 04:59 PM
2

Yeah, I hate lawyers too. They suck equally whether successful or what you call failures. I can't wait until AI replaces lawyers.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 12:54 AM
5

Say nothing!
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 12:24 AM
1

What is a failed lawyer?
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 12:14 AM
1

Most states do not require a GAL to be an attorney. Just be 18 and have some state funded training over Zoom and they're good to go.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 11:30 PM
12

GAL is such a scam. It's all a scam. Nobody cares about your children except you and their mom. Everyone else in the courtroom does not know your children, have never met your children (including GAL), don't know any other children who know them, and don't want to meet your children either even in an official capacity of being witnesses in the case (children are never allowed to testify in divorce cases). Even so, these strangers who DGAF about your kids have been appointed by mom and dad to hav…
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 11:27 PM
14

Bro at least you didn't have to pay for new tiddies. My brother's ex got the whole mommy makeover as she was planning divorce: teeth whitening, braces, face lift, tummy tuck, asshole bleaching, tiddies, liposuction, and a vaginaplasty live streamed on TikTok. My brother was subsequently sandbagged with the bill in divorce court. But know the truth about these materialistic women who are obsessed with validation based on their appearance alone: they are absolutely the worst people, incredibly mis…
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 09:20 PM
3

Bro, the kind of amicability required for collaborative divorce, which is by definition uncontested, means you could've done it yourselves and saved $3400.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 04:45 PM
1

She won't be getting alimony in Florida bc it is a short term marriage and she doesn't have the need for alimony. Divorce needs to be filed in Florida in the county where you last lived as husband and wife. Alternatively, your wife may be able to file abroad which might make the divorce easier. For example, if she is in Japan all you have to do is file a single piece of paper at city hall with both your signatures consenting to divorce ... no court order necessary for property division, child su…
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 09:35 PM
5

Sounds like your wife set this whole thing up, and gradually raised the temperature to provoke you into "blowing up" which really means just standing up for yourself for once. It happens a lot. This is manipulative behavior and women are geniuses at it. She wants to wear the pants, be a boss babe tyrant, make you change your behavior but never considering she needs to change a single thing. If you can't lead as a man, then you are being emasculated. She wanted to stomp her feet and have a temper…
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 07:36 PM
4

It won't get easier so long as you have to see them every day, but I think you know that. They've done you a dirty, now it's business. Get away and find another job.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 03:51 PM
2

Why would you do that if there isn't a factual basis for effectively terminating parental rights? That's very unethical behavior and causes undue stress based on something you know is false. It also causes more money to be spent on legal fees which makes you happy. I can't wait for AI to take over the legal profession.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 08:05 PM
2

Sounds like she's got herself a gem of an attorney who is going to inflame her emotions with lies in order to drag this out as long as possible and make your life miserable. She isn't getting full custody, don't worry. She'll be lucky to get 50/50 if she continues to antagonize the court with outrageous, illegal demands that she won't be able to explain to the judge.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 08:02 PM
1

Your kids probably will never know is the reality, but that is a testament to the adults in the room who understand disparaging the other parent isn't going to help, but destroys and alienates.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 05:05 PM
3

She's gaslighting you to assuage her own guilt. C'mon man, you've got to see it for what it is! If you didn't see signs it was because there were no signs and she was intentionally concealing her true self, causing you to behave in a manner that she wanted and wouldn't respect. This is pure manipulation. She will not stop manipulating you. She is not your friend anymore so now the best thing you can do is to become indifferent to her. Be stoic and insist on communicating via email or text only. …
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 04:46 PM
8

I feel what you are going through and you are right there is nothing you can do about a wife who wants to divorce. Honestly, I'm surprised you let it go on this long but we are all different dealing with unstable relationships. The first time my wife said she wanted a divorce, I completely checked out. She filed 3 months later. If someone doesn't want to be with you believe them, and try not to take it personally since it happens so often. A life with such a person is hell on earth. So get yours…
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 04:31 PM
1

Get to mediation asap. When it fails, set the final hearing.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 08:04 PM
9

Fuck that, I'd rather live in a tent in the woods.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 08:08 PM
6

I'm surprised she agreed to 32% of your retirement or is that what you expect the judge to order?
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 02:16 PM
2

File a motion and get in front of a judge to correct the record. It isn't "complex" at all. It's an innocent oversight where no one was harmed, except for maybe the Judge's retirement account which is funded in part by Title IV child support payments. Bring all your records of payment to court. Reread the final judgment. If it says "should" or "may" then you are good and nothing needs to be filed. If it says "must" or "credit for CS only if sent through the child support agency" then file the mo…
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 06:41 PM
5

My wife left me ostensibly because my business was barely breaking even. She made about 6x what I was making as I tried to grow. Her money was hers and my money was hers. She set strict financial boundaries, insisting on no commingling of assets. When tax time came, she forced me to file separately, incurring a larger tax burden. But I digress. She filed and we were divorced just over 60 days later. I continued to work my business, continuously haunted by her criticisms that I was a loser who wo…
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 05:00 PM
1

It's backwards for sure. You need a marriage license to marry, but it is not required. You can't get two marriage licenses, but you can live with 4 women and call them your wives so long as you don't have more than one marriage license. None of it makes sense, least of which is the archaic award of alimony that conscripts a man to involuntary servitude.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 08:22 PM
3

Tax benefits of a marriage are nominal at best, and are offset in a marriage by the wife's spending habits. But you have to stay married to say there are tax benefits to a marriage because if you divorce those tax benefits are going to disappear overnight, leaving both parties financially destroyed and wishing they never signed up for the tax benefits in the first place.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 08:19 PM
7

If a man wants out of a marriage, best way to do it is make it her idea. That's what I did, and it was remarkably easy. I told her I was broke and needed help with the mortgage, and she filed for divorce less than two weeks later. She made a lot more money than I did at the time so I'm sure that factored into her decision to get out asap. It was a short term marriage of less than one year so it wasn't much but she got extremely hostile very quickly when she realized she'd had to pay me.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 01:15 PM
1

Try Kratom. It works for me. I'd rather be dependent on a natural, organic substance that's part of the coffee and tea stimulant family than a Big Pharma drug. Psilocybin mushrooms can help with depression too because it changes your perspective on life in a positive manner. Shrooms are legal in a few states but they are easy to grow. r/unclebens
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 03:44 PM
2

I've got a stalker lol
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 12:53 AM
11

Just reading between the lines of a story told a thousand times ... there's another guy in the picture my guy. That's the real issue. You won't find any proof right now unless you can get access to her phone/laptop/tablet, email and location history. What usually happens is that once separation is "official" your wife will miraculously start dating somebody that "just happened." I'm sorry you are going through this brother. Vows don't mean very much to women so when they are done, they're done a…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 10:05 PM
4

The irony of your statement obviously escapes you. I think you are in the wrong place, Karen.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 09:45 PM
3

Sure she does. If you are still with her, you are being manipulated. If she regretted letting another man raw dog her and finish in her mouth, then it would've been impossible for her to put another man's penis in her mouth in the first place.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 07:49 PM
17

Regret what and for how long? It's easy to confuse regret for cheating and regret for getting caught. Either way, it won't be long lasting. No wife will put up with apologizing 6 months later when they've already put it behind them, so why haven't you? The ultimate goal of the cheater is rug sweeping the affair and avoiding accountability. If you can't agree to rug sweeping her affair, she'll leave herself. Bottom line is she is getting new dick with or without your consent.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 07:14 PM
4

A lawyer in Mumbai isn't going to be of much help to OP, I suspect.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 02:21 PM
3

If I even remember, I just feel sorry for that guy because he has no idea what hell he is about to enter.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 02:16 PM
5

Wait until you feel indifferent or sorry for married couples. It took me a long time to get here but I consider marriage the 1st circle of hell and pity the fool who enters into it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 02:13 PM
12

She cheated. You shouldn't be conflicted about divorce. There's no such thing as a family when your wife is banging other dudes and calls one of them her boyfriend.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/25 03:18 PM
7

Do not try to understand a woman or you will go crazy trying. Instead, judge a woman on her actions, set boundaries, and always listen to your gut when it tells you it is time to bounce.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 03:32 PM
3

Allowing your ex access to your life whenever she wants caused all this drama. Why are you mad at her? She's only acting like a woman acts and you are giving her wife privileges. There isn't a world where I allow my ex to talk to me about my private life or anything at all tbh. Set some boundaries brother. She's going to sabotage your happiness forever if you keep letting her be a part of your life.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/25 10:05 PM
2

She's getting half but he needs to worry about her getting more than half of the cash which is the most likely outcome. In other words, there are a lot of chips on the table to divide, and a lot of those chips aren't liquid or won't be cashed out like 401k, other retirement accounts, pensions, motor vehicles, household furnishing, etc. When the time comes for an "equalizing payment" from the husband to the wife, the judge always orders the husband's cash he meticulously saved to be handed over t…
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/25 04:29 PM
3

What does your lawyer think? You better get one asap because without knowing more, you are 100% getting a shitty deal as it stands. CS cannot be negotiated so you are getting played "agreeing" to her proposal.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 03:59 PM
6

She's banging someone else, move on. Women don't suddenly stop feelings, they give their feelings to someone else and then cut bait. Pull the hook out of your mouth and be free. Also, let your lawyers do the heavy lifting with your emotional wife. Get the best outcome you can even if it means having a judge decide what is your equitable portion, which means 50% of assets, including her business and future income if you can get alimony. Don't feel sorry for her and hurt yourself by giving her mor…
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 03:53 PM
3

Sounds exhausting, tbh. I guess I have too many hobbies I'm passionate about to waste any time chasing pussy, and chasing pussy is very time consuming. I bet if you jerked off before going pussy hunting, you'd have a clear head and say, "nah, chasing pussy is actually a waste of time." YMMV. Anyway, congrats on getting a lot of pussy.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 02:25 PM
2

Your kids shouldn't know anything about this situation and if she tells them it is parental alienation. That said, I wouldn't put it in writing so it can be used against you, but I'd tell her directly essentially what you said here but with less words. "No" is a very powerful word and stops actions dead in its tracks. "Sorry, but that's not a good week for me to swap time sharing."
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 11:46 PM
18

"she has gotten really into crossfit and said she feels like she has changed, become more confident, and is a badass now" Where do you think that new found confidence is coming from? If you guessed from the validation of numerous men and all the attention they are giving her IRL and on social media, then you'd be correct. I bet if you were able to see her social media accounts and read her DMs, the mystery wouldn't be so mysterious anymore. She's cheating, brother. Right now she is better at gas…
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 01:33 PM
20

I wish I never got married in the first place. That's my regret.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 01:07 PM
4

And some jurisdictions will administratively dissolve a case after four months of inactivity after the initial filing ... i.e. no return of proof of service and no motion for a special process server, no motion for service by publication, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 10:27 PM
8

Filed 6 months ago and she hasn't been served? You need another lawyer. Also check to see if the case was even filed.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 09:20 PM
7

I'm kind of in the same boat bro and feel like giving up. My daughter is 16 too and doesn't want me to know anything about her life. I don't think she hates me, she's just indifferent and doesn't care because her mom created a situation where she has total control and I have zero influence on her life. My text messages to my daughter aren't even read for weeks at a time. When I finally get a response, it's an emoji. Well, I tried my best. I spent over $200k on my daughter trying to see her and i…
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 05:54 PM
2

You don't have to meet him. I wouldn't because there is no reason to meet an affair partner. What's the upside of that? You are getting divorced and won't be able to control what your wife does with the kids during her parenting time. Your wife's boyfriend doesn't need your permission to be around your kids when she has them. One compromise might be to put some guidelines about your kids meeting new paramours of mom and dad in the final agreement. What guidelines does your wife think are appropr…
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 05:42 PM
1

I'd rather make my own sandwich.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 01:30 PM
1

I don't believe it for a second. Sorry bud, but women do not voluntarily give up free money ordered by the court. There's more to the story so if you can post the case number and court where this alleged thing happened to your friend, we'll find out if your friend told you the truth. Most likely, he lied to you to make himself feel better. Or you misunderstood the situation and your friend continued to pay alimony because there were only a few months left and it would've costed more to go to cou…
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 11:56 PM
5

Marriage is for starting families. There is zero benefit for a man getting married though, even if he was young enough to start a family.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 06:27 PM
2

Many such cases. Zero cases of women getting married before alimony ends.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 05:58 PM
3

Did you even read my post? He'll be waiting forever for that to happen because there is zero chance she will put the free money he gives her to enjoy a leisurely life in jeopardy. She might get remarried after he's spent every last penny on alimony that the court ordered, but not a second before. That's how every ex-wife rolls.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 03:58 PM
3

Alimony is involuntary servitude and the men who pay it are subsidizing their ex's life of leisure, vacations, bar tabs, cars, and destination sex dates with other men. It's cruel and unusual punishment and shouldn't be legal.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 12:55 PM
9

Alimony is involuntary servitude. Period. End of story.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 12:39 PM
7

There isn't a divorced lady that has ever willfully given up alimony by getting remarried. It literally has never happened and it won't happen in your case either to relieve you of any alimony payment. Focus on getting the best deal you can, even considering discounts for lump sum alimony, which, if worded right as a property settlement that does not terminate upon death, can be discharged by bankruptcy.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 12:38 PM
5

Nice work! Cash is definitely king. Another way to hide assets is in a trust with an attorney as trustee. Attorney client privilege prevents the attorney from disclosing the names of beneficiaries. For another layer of protection, make LLC's the beneficiaries.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 09:26 PM
5

Why isn't she paying her fair share of the rent? That doesn't seem fair considering your financial situation.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 08:46 PM
11

LOL, you STBX is sly as a fox. Child support cannot be waived so if you agree to her terms, she'll be getting the house, CS, and alimony. That's an AWESOME deal. For her. Better start looking for that second job asap so you can fund her life of leisure.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 03:31 PM
13

He's got to learn it himself the hard way. His story is a manosphere disaster cliche ... moving in a single mother with her multiple cats, box wine, and a special needs kid. Imagine choosing THAT over your own child, whom OP demoted to a second class citizen after putting a single mother first. This guy is going to destroy his relationship with his kid for temporary pussy (it's all temporary).
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 01:24 PM
23

Bad move. Very bad move. But you are going to do it anyway. Hopefully someone else can give you an attaboy, but I see the writing of a disaster on the wall. There is nothing more liberating in life for a man than for him not to need the validation and attention of a woman.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 12:32 PM
2

If that's the case, then I get it but you said she makes twice as much as you. I'd get a second opinion if I were you, especially since she is the party in a superior financial position and is therefore liable for your attorney fees too. Whether she cheated is irrelevant to you getting alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 12:05 PM
4

Now it's business. You should get alimony and everything you are entitled to like 1/2 of all assets and retirement accounts.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 12:46 AM
2

Her "dream job" seems like it was entirely based on her appearance. What was it? In any event, once a woman becomes the bread winner, what need do they have for just one man when they can fuck a new Chad and Tyrone anytime they want? Her money no doubt became hers alone and I suspect she became selfish and self righteous, unable to accept any criticism, especially from you.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 12:42 AM
7

Exit affair. She's going to bang him if she hasn't already done so (Spoiler: she has). She isn't your friend anymore and sounds like she hasn't been for a while.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 05:21 PM
8

Women who crave or need outside of the marriage validation from other men will always cheat. They don't even feel guilty about it. Is she active on SM with thousands of followers or even a few hundred friends on facebook? Did you meet on a dating app? I bet most men would pass on wifing up any of these women if they could just spend 15 minutes with access to their accounts and DMs. You'd see the mind of a cheater and a sociopathy you didn't think existed. This is why when they are caught they ge…
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 04:20 PM
31

Women sacrifice their families to chase happiness and then don't even find it. Happiness to them means pretending you don't have kids, acting like an 18 year old college girl, sifting through 100 DMs a day on SM and dating apps, free dinners in exchange for BJ's, and a box of wine with an SSRI chaser. Because divorcing a loyal husband, liquidating joint assets in middle age to start over from scratch, and abandoning your children isn't humiliating or shameful enough.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 12:35 PM
1

"I've never felt so disrespected and ashamed in my life." Right there with you brother. I blamed myself for a long time until I learned that forgiving myself was the path to healing.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/25 08:28 PM
11

Women seem to do just fine with divorce, and almost always have a harem of orbiters worshipping her like she's a pop star. If men had hundreds of DMs from beautiful women who wanted to date them, the mental health aspect of the divorce wouldn't be that bad I think. Men have to play the hand they are dealt, which usually means we have to suffer in silence and figure our own way out of the darkness. If a man becomes indifferent to his ex and all women in general, he has discovered the meaning of l…
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/25 01:01 PM
1

Krampus
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/25 12:01 AM
9

It's what they all do, brother. They are incapable of self reflection that comes with being alone and single. They need constant validation and distractions just to exist, otherwise their thoughts will drag them into a living hell. That's one reason SSRI's are so popular with the ladies even in "healthy" relationships. She'll move on just as fast when this new guy is done with his turn. She was never yours, it was just your turn. Men sacrifice their happiness for their marriage but women sacrifi…
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 11:58 PM
2

Agree with your sentiment in general, but the actual truth is a bit more nuanced especially when the general consensus is in 100% agreement with the potential of alimony being paid based on the given facts. Instead of dumping on my post and offering nothing of substance to help OP, you could have provided a cogent argument to the contrary, that is, there is ZERO chance of his STBX getting alimony. Why didn't you do that? You still can, but it's certain you won't. Why? Why won't you help OP with …
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 09:09 PM
2

It's also need v. ability to pay. Income disparity indicates a prima facie case for need AND ability to pay. He could show that she doesn't really need alimony based on the value of the assets she's awarded, and even if she does still need alimony it should be fixed to one year as "rehabilitative" or "bridge the gap" alimony to give her time to graduate with her MS degree with a reasonable amount of time to get a job. She can get her degree in one semester, which is 4 months, and then be given a…
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 08:40 PM
3

A lump sum payment that does not terminate upon your death like permanent alimony is considered a property settlement and is dischargeable in bankruptcy. Having a lawyer can help with getting the language right, but it's a long shot especially if she has a lawyer. Her lawyer will have zero incentive in closing out the case, btw. She'll likely get a woman lawyer who will spin her up with emotion and revenge, paving the way for endless legal battles over the tiniest things like who gets the spoons…
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 07:45 PM
7

100% chance she'll get alimony, the only question is how much and for how long. Will depend somewhat on length of marriage. She'll never agree to no alimony so prepare yourself for a fight. Best case scenario for you is to retain a Vocational Expert and offer testimony to the court about her reasonable earning capacity now, and when she completes her degree. You should be able to get in that she turned down $50k/year jobs. Without an expert, the court will simply impute minimum wage to her and r…
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 05:21 PM
1

Pro se is underrated, especially with all the resources available today. Lawyers have no more legal power than a pro se litigant, they just presumably know what they are doing which as we all know they often fail. Good job, Dad! At any point in the process you can hire a lawyer, who typically offers zero benefit at the beginning stages of a divorce. All the forms are available to pro se litigants and they are the same forms attorneys have with which they have modified the format. Still, there ar…
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 03:21 PM
4

Sold it to a gold dealer right after filing.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 03:01 PM
5

She cheated so it was never going to work past trauma bonding, but the truth is I lost all respect for her and was ashamed to call her my wife. I couldn't live a lie.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 12:51 PM
3

Nobody who gets married believes their marriage will end in a divorce so it is easy to make those promises to each other. However, they also agree that there are deal breakers and cheating is one of them. That's a betrayal which cannot be fixed.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 12:46 PM
5

It's crazy. Why are they like this?
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 06:46 PM
-3

It was taco Tuesday yesterday! Your daughter was just upset you tried to substitute that kind of fun for a boring turkey sandwich. LOL In all seriousness, feeding your daughter healthy food she really likes is both one of the easiest jobs of a dad and also would've prevented her from tattling on you and mommy coming over to interfere with your parenting time, which is a crime in some jurisdictions (i.e. interference with custody) -- although almost all cops would treat this as a civil issue more…
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 03:33 PM
7

Brother, a woman like that will never in a million years voluntarily agree to a fair settlement that includes the alimony due under law to you. Expedite this to a trial asap and force feed her the final judgement. With a salary 6x what you make, you're likely to get 2/3 of that in alimony, but in any case a judge is going to give you way more than what she agrees to during mediation, if any at all. I hope you have an attorney, especially bc she will be liable for your attorney fees too.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 01:17 PM
1

A lawyer will tell her not to get a job until after the divorce so just be prepared for her to do a 180 and demand spousal support, which she will likely get. As a result, she will not have any incentive to get a job that pays more than the income the court imputes to her = minimum wage. In order to overcome this unfair outcome, you'll need to hire a vocational expert to give evidence to the court about her reasonable income potential once she graduates so that anything less than that can be con…
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 04:30 PM
4

Sending a settlement offer into the abyss means you have a shit lawyer. Lawyers should be able to work out the details themselves with input from their clients and a settlement offer is a mutually worked on document. You don't send a SO unless you know the other side will sign it or make minor changes in good faith before sent back for to be signed. Same argument for mediation. Why go to mediation if you have lawyers? Sometimes it is necessary to triangulate the mediator into leaning on the clie…
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 12:41 AM
7

It isn't wrong to think that guy should be checked into The Hotel California. No one is more deserving of a free vacation than a homewrecker.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 10:36 PM
1

Her response will be unreasonable or intentionally vague while asking for the most the court can give her. Florida has excellent self help material for divorce. Why not try to work through a marital settlement agreement before you file?
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 08:09 PM
4

The other side has a 1/2 equitable interest in the property so buying it for $400k would be paying $100k over its agreed upon value.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 07:27 PM
3

If he makes $200k/year with his business, that's going to be his income for equitable distribution purposes, child support, and alimony. He will be required to maintain that level of income for the duration of child support and alimony. The value of the business is a different thing entirely. It is an asset subject to division, which you make some really great points about. That said, if the business is valued at zero he'll still have to make $200k/year to meet his support obligations.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 07:26 PM
3

Women won't get remarried if it means losing their alimony. That's a pipe dream.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 05:39 PM
3

Agree with this. His lawyer sounds like a pussy who is afraid to fight and just wants to make $20k hammering out deal that benefits his cheating wife. It's funny how cheating is ALWAYS a deal breaker until it happens and then they say, "Well, next time for sure will be a deal breaker! I just need to get my wife's boyfriend on board not to fuck her again so I can get his dick taste out of my mouth." Homelessness would be preferrable to such a hell.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 05:30 PM
8

You choosing to stay with a morally bankrupt and selfish wife who respects you less than dirt is of course your decision ... until she's had it and wants to take the $600k anyway, and probably a lot more as the value of your marriage partnership will continue to increase. Of course you also know that she'll cheat again and probably end up divorcing you anyway so you'll never trust her again. It would be foolish to pretend otherwise. Good luck, you are going to need it. I'd get a second or third …
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 05:22 PM
2

You don't know if she would care because you've never followed through with working on yourself at the gym. I guarantee she would notice a change, but the change in confidence might make an even bigger impact. Feeling good about yourself is magnetic to women.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 01:13 PM
3

You aren't the only one who is noticing. How do you know her family isn't aware? What can they do about it anyway?
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 01:02 PM
2

Some of the best friends I've ever had were those with "no trust, honesty, or commitment." That's why I terminated every single one of those dysfunctional relationships, and they are no longer my best friends anymore. Indeed, they are no longer my friends at all and I speak to them never.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 02:22 PM
5

If she is on the title, it was a legal judgment. If she wasn't on the title, she's entitled to 1/2 the equity over the last 6 years of marriage, a period of time where most house values doubled due to inflation. Doesn't sound all that crazy, but the devil is always in the details which you have decided not to disclose "for reasons" you "won't get into."
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 02:12 PM
1

That actually never happens in a divorce case unless it's voyeurism. Typically such evidence is just excluded from the trial, but we are all human beings and once something is seen and heard, it tends to remain in mind. It can also be used as a defense to charges of domestic violence by persuading the prosecutor not to file. They are human too, and do not suffer lying victims as that would mean using them to commit perjury.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 12:08 AM
2

ChatGPT and Grok are good places to get quick, accurate answers about the whole process ... legal, mental health, cheating, how to play your cards etc. Grok 4 is a paid service (not expensive) that is optimized for highly skilled legal work and can write motions, do legal research, write briefs, and analyze your case. That said, I feel for you brother. There is no pain and mental health hell like being cheated on. Probably losing a child is more painful, but not by much. You are doing the right …
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 12:03 AM
8

She knew she'd never get your inheritance so she did the next best thing by costing tons of money to defend it. "If I can't have it, neither can he!" That's the spirit of Satan talking, often a woman's best friend.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/25 02:54 PM
1

Grok 3, the free version, surpasses ChatGPT. But for unfiltered jailbroke AI not constrained by parameters that limit truth, you'll have to look elsewhere.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 07:04 PM
0

Grok 4 is supposed to be indistinguishable from an experienced lawyer with 50 years experience: excellent research skills, drafting motions, case law analysis, and sophisticated legal arguments. It's a paid service, but worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 05:56 PM
11

I can't wait for AI to destroy the jobs that these dishonest, grifting lawyers do.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 04:48 PM
2

We weren't even married a year so it wasn't worth much and I wanted it over asap. Still, I got $5000, which was more than her contributions during the marriage. She was pretty bitter about that lol. I never met a person who loved money more than her. It's not an attractive quality, that much I can tell you. A partner who has the means to make your life more comfortable, but intentionally withholds resources for herself while watching you struggle living a lesser lifestyle is sadistic. I hope OP …
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 12:51 PM
1

I'm a loner.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 02:21 AM
6

Brother, you need to forgive yourself. Please. I understand that because I am also my own worst critic. But step back and don't judge yourself harshly anymore. It's okay to make mistakes and fail at marriage, regardless of how you were treated or how you acted so long as you learned a better way. Clearly you know how you failed and wouldn't do it again so isn't it time to forgive yourself for it? All forgiveness begins with forgiving yourself first. Nobody can forgive another person's actions an…
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 01:22 AM
3

Marriage is the definition of co-dependency. Don't be too hard on yourself!
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 01:16 AM
2

AA is a great social network. Those people will run through brick walls to help you remain sober. I went for 90 days and met some awesome folks, but I learned I really wasn't an alcoholic or a drug addict. After my last meeting, I went home and drank a beer. I miss the people of AA. I wish there was something else similar to that for people who aren't alcoholics.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 01:14 AM
5

Get yourself okay is the much better option. You've just experienced something you've never experienced before so you have no frame of reference or technique to get yourself out of hell. Don't be too hard on yourself. In fact, forgive yourself immediately! That is the very first step to healing. It's okay that you made a poor selection in a wife that didn't work out for whatever reason. Don't judge yourself at all, just accept the suck as essential to growing stronger. That said, the sad truth i…
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 10:45 PM
3

"I feel like if I tell her I can’t afford to do anything extra she will get put off." Already walking on eggshells, I see. Being afraid to lose a partner over telling the truth about your personal finances should be a dealbreaker for you. Instead, you conceal your financial distress while knowing you cannot afford dates and vacations and a home anytime soon. She's already manipulating you by having you self censor. This will 100% lead to resentment. That aside, why the hell are you getting marri…
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 07:11 PM
2

Then no problem. You don't need her permission to do anything with your kid.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 06:48 PM
1

Divorce is more difficult for children than we give them credit for. It totally reshapes their safe world into one of danger and instability. Their emotions aren't developed yet and they have no experience with them in any event so each negative emotional experience is new to them. A temper tantrum is simply their inability to process and understand unpleasant thoughts and feelings. Without constructive ways to teach them and help them process the instability of their emotional lives, their beha…
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 05:17 PM
3

Bro, your TDS is flaming up again. Trump is living rent free in your mind and it is causing you to hate on your brothers ... over politics! It's very feminine behavior. Do better and be more tolerant and inclusive.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 12:47 AM
6

Never get a marriage license again, brother. You've been warned. This rebound relationship will flame out when your focus on real life and start having real conversations. Being on opposite ends of the political spectrum isn't just about who you voted for, but it is a philosophy of life. It's a huge deal. Either you will simp and pretend you share her views, or she will try to convince you to follow her views. You need to lead, not follow. Enjoy the fun time, but don't forget she felt like this …
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 12:40 AM
1

How will your name be removed from the mortgage? Because it just sounds like you'll be paid $10k and she won't have to refinance, meaning you are on the hook still and your credit score will reflect the debt, which will prevent you from accessing credit in the future.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 07:44 PM
2

Nothing you said contradicts my analysis. It just makes it worse, tbh. You were in a substantially superior financial position and you knew if he got a lawyer and this went to trial it would be financially devastating for you, because you know it happens countless times to men everyday when the roles are reversed. So you manipulated him by hook or crook to settle the case without a lawyer when if the shoe was on the other foot you would have never agreed to such a thing in a million years. You u…
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 07:11 PM
3

Sounds like you are in an at fault state where adultery is actually taken into consideration. The no fault divorce states have it wrong. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 02:50 PM
4

You are concealing your income though. You know your income is essential for the court to make accurate calculations, but you intentionally withheld updating your income even though it was an ongoing obligation under family law court orders as more particularly stated in the financial affidavits filed with the court. You knew disclosing the truth about your income would subject you to a higher amount of child support, but you concealed it anyway. Why are you coming here to complain about telling…
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 01:24 PM
10

Never keep the secrets of an abusive cheater. That's their burden to pretend everything is fine, not yours. Tell the truth to clear up the confusion of anyone that asks; do not hide it. You'll be surprised how liberating telling the truth can be.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 01:13 PM
9

Don't let a woman manipulate you by using your empathy and compassion against you bc that is exactly what she did. Good luck with dating at 45 but don't get married again. Learn from the rest of us, which will soon be your own life experience after your divorce is over.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 09:28 PM
25

She isn't your friend anymore and believing that lie is to your own detriment. When my ex told me as she was filing for divorce that she "will always love me" I told her to never say that to me again because it was manipulative and wasn't even true. Even if she believed it was true, I'd never believe it myself. "We aren't even friends" were the last words I ever spoke to her outside of the divorce proceedings. Try making a vow to your best friend, and then intentionally discarding your friend fr…
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 11:43 PM
14

Why aren't you out celebrating? You just scored a win.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 06:35 PM
1

Why doesn't she treat your kids like her nieces and nephews then? I guarantee you that she doesn't discipline her nieces and nephews! The ideal role of a stepmom should be like a beloved aunt. No more, no less.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 06:14 PM
4

Enjoy the ride while you can because you are right, she's getting off at the next station. Being a stepmom is a horrible position for a woman.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 06:10 PM
4

There's no coming back from this, brother. She's gone. I mean, you might be able to beg and plead with her on your knees to delay the inevitable, but the thought of leaving bc she doesn't want to be a stepmom is real and turning in her head like a worm. You should be thankful she is telling you this as you need to protect your children from a jealous stepmom who seethes when she sees your ex-wife in the faces of your children. She is NOT their mother and shouldn't be disciplining them anyway. Be…
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 05:31 PM
4

Everything is negotiable in a divorce. Find another lawyer who will zealously represent your interest in keeping the house.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 05:17 PM
5

My ex wife took 95% custody of our daughter almost immediately after she was born, fled to another country, and thinks I should be happy and grateful for not having a chance to be a father and an influence in her life.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/25 08:43 PM
-1

He deleted the comment after 10 downvotes when he could've said nothing and nobody would've known he had a severe case of TDS like almost all women.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/25 08:30 PM
-9

Lock the thread. This post wins.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/25 08:27 PM
-8

He was smart enough to win 3 straight elections and stay alive after going head to head with the Clintons, who are known to cause witnesses to commit suicide by shooting themselves in the back of their head, twice. Was your ex wife a democrat too?
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/25 08:26 PM
14

Yet another story of a man worshiping a woman that doesn't end in the seventh heaven of bliss but rather in the third circle of hell. I've never seen a man outsource his happiness to a woman and actually be happy about it. As men, we can often be our own worst enemies by doubling down on stupid and irrational behaviors, acting like a woman while the woman in our lives are clearly acting like men. This is unacceptable.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/25 01:39 PM
8

Kids are keen to be uncooperative with the paramours of their parents, and they will still be considered paramours even if they officially become stepparents. Your kids are too old for you to be replaced by a random, and they know enough to know they don't want that. You ex sounds desperate and unable to be alone. This won't be the last guy she pretends is her perfect match, and the kids will continue to withhold acceptance of such dysfunction.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/25 01:32 PM
6

Temporary orders have a way of making themselves permanent in family law cases. Why? Judges are lazy and resistant to change orders made ostensibly for the "best interests of the children." You need a lawyer who understands this. Good luck, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 01:33 PM
23

Men sacrifice their happiness for their families, but women sacrifice their families for their happiness. There is no advantage to a man getting a marriage license anymore. The institution of marriage turned into a wealth transfer to women to the detriment of men. YMMV
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 01:24 PM
20

Amazing how a woman can psychologically terrorize her husband into believing the divorce is all his fault because he didn't perform the circus tricks on demand whenever she wanted. Even worse is when the man believes her. Yes, she was the perfect wife, and the husband is all to blame. Just stop with that crap. It isn't true. Brother, it takes TWO for a marriage to work. It sounds like you sacrificed your happiness by working yourself to the bone in order to support your wife and three children. …
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/25 10:21 PM
2

You don't need permission from anyone to set boundaries, especially your ex. But there is a catch-22 with women because as soon as you set a boundary they are biologically driven by instinct to break that boundary, like a child told to stay out of the cookie jar. Boundaries are healthy, but only insomuch as they are enforced. There is a great book called Boundaries that has helped me. Also, No More Mr. Nice Guy is another gem. You'll be surprised to learn how easy it is to set boundaries, and ma…
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/25 04:31 PM
1

I am family law attorney in Florida with 25 years experience, so I get it and you are wrong. It 100% does matter who the aggressor is, and you are very naive to think it doesn't. What you didn't mention is the most likely outcome in this case: DCF gets involved due to the minor child being in the presence of DV. The age of the child also makes a difference with DCF coupled with the severity of the alleged aggression and who was the aggressor. As you know, the wife could make up a story and file …
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/25 03:52 PM
2

It's certainly possible that there could be a criminal referral, but it doesn't happen as often as you think, even when committed in the presence of a child, who in this case is 16yrs old and thus would impact the charging decision. Because a woman was the aggressor there isn't going to be a lot of enthusiasm for arresting women committing DV, probably due to the fact that DV is largely considered a male act, which resulted in DV shelters for women in every city all over the country but not a si…
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/25 03:18 PM
6

Sadly, you have no power to prevent your son from spending time with anyone your wife wants. That said, if they guy is a felon or has a criminal history involving children, then you could file for a restraining order. The moment you demand your wife keep your son away from her new boyfriend is the moment she escalates the conflict and makes sure her boyfriend spends 10x the amount of time with your son as initially planned. She will hate you even more for trying to control her, and then turn the…
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/25 01:49 PM
5

You are being manipulated by a 16 year old child. File for a DV restraining order asap. She won't be arrested, but she will be kicked out of the house. You also have the right to file criminal charges, which you should do as well. If the roles were reversed, do you really think your wife wouldn't file for a DV RO and criminal charges? That's why you have to do it, not as punishment but to protect yourself. Your wife is dangerous.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/25 01:40 PM
1

My ex made me file taxes separately and insisted that we go Dutch on all restaurant outings. We were divorced within a few months after the tax abuse, and I just stopped going out to eat with her since everything we did together was some sort of sadistic financial transaction and abuse. She took all the fun out of hanging out. It was very disgusting behavior, especially since she made 5x what I made at the time. What a scrooge!
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 06:21 PM
17

There definitely isn't any incentive to date a grandma in her late 40's and 50's when all the best years are behind her, in addition to all the life baggage you'll have to deal with. I couldn't do it, and not just because I have a negative attraction to old ladies. Being happy on your own is the winning strategy. Good for you, man.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 12:17 AM
2

Setting boundaries with a woman who won't respect boundaries doesn't work, ever. Most women nowadays are entitled and refuse to respect boundaries because they see it as "controlling." Such women aren't marriage or mom material.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 05:56 PM
11

Criticizing everything, talking about her sexual experiences, comparing me to old boyfriends, fantasizing about opening up the marriage and having threesomes, and (surprise!) cheating. Fact is she wasn't wife or mom material and I had no business marrying such a slatternly woman.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 05:52 PM
6

Call DCF for child endangerment, neglect, and abuse on your children. The "boyfriend" sadistically meting out punishment means he hates your kids. Your ex is choosing the boyfriend over her own children, probably for the financial benefits, but she is both enabling and allowing your children to be abused, physically and emotionally.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 05:30 PM
6

With the right attorneys drawing up the LLC paperwork, anyone can own part of a dental practice in Florida. There was a guy in Ocala who owned a Dental Implant business who wasn't a dentist and had no medical training. He hired the oral surgeons and dentists to do the work. It was a wildly successful business until the guy's trophy wife went crazy and initiated a silver bullet divorce that resulted in him going to prison for 30 years. I think there is a 48 Hours show on it. Michael Reuschel was …
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/25 12:30 PM
7

More often than not we create a fantasy of the wife we thought we knew which is completely different than the thoughts in her head about who and what she is. It is like being hypnotized and walking like a chicken on stage while your wife is laughing at you knowing she'll never be found out.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/25 09:18 PM
11

Indifference was easy for me. It was much harder to forgive myself for getting involved with a woman not worthy of marrying.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/25 01:17 PM
0

Assumption of a mortgage is a very rare remedy, a time consuming process, and 100% discretionary by the bank. Assuming a mortgage simply means adding a second name to the original loan document making two people jointly and severally liable instead of just one person. There is no legal or business reason for a bank to release liability of the OP. OP's credit will be negatively effected by his name being on the mortgage. It will prevent access to additional credit and his ability to secure a seco…
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/25 02:30 PM
9

It's very common behavior in my experience. Your STBX is on the prowl for new dick and a new mark she can bleed for financial resources. She's probably on multiple dating apps and sifting through hundreds of messages a day from thirsty men. It's very time consuming and exhausting, but the thrill of the ride is too intoxicating for them to stop. She has no time to think about her kids. Focus on being the dad your kids need right now and just ignore her.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/25 02:10 PM
7

Real talk here, brother, but it sounds like you've got some more work to do on yourself if you need a woman to wake up with you every day. That can quickly spiral into co-dependency with the balance of power squarely resting on the Asian gal. In other words, a woman should adapt to your frame. Never capitulate to her frame just for some company. You've got to respect her for setting hard boundaries and sticking to them. That's something we can all learn from.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/25 01:47 PM
1

Most STBX's will do this because they would rather their ex husband continue to work and support their lifestyle than get a job to support it herself. Even if it means lowering her standard of living. Revenge and infinity punishment are the main drivers but it's also laziness. Contrary to the claims otherwise, women generally don't like to work and you can only ever appreciate that fact when get married. The good news is that alimony is always modifiable so if the court doesn't impute her $100k …
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/25 07:15 PM
2

Set it for trial. Your lawyer is playing a nicey nice game and it needs to stop. Make sure you get every penny of Alimony or spousal support due to you, whether lump sum or permanent periodic payments. It sounds like there may be some sort of equalizing payment for spousal support in the proposed agreement which is why your wife isn't agreeing to it. A tale as old as time. Set it for trial and force feed your wife to a decision, or not. Doesn't matter. Don't forget about attorney fees either. As…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/25 12:51 PM
2

She was taken to a foreign country.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 01:29 AM
3

I left because I had enough of a sexless marriage and a wife who didn't want me to touch her or to even touch me. I miss my daughter terribly, however, and probably should've stayed for her sake. Other than not loving me, I had the perfect wife!
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 12:47 AM
7

Her crow's feet were so bad it looked like she had banana spiders for eyes
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/25 01:23 PM
6

The Judge will most likely divide everything 50/50. A case where it is just financial are the easiest to resolve unless your wife gets unethical attorneys who tell her lies and spin her up so they can make tens of thousands of dollars before the case gets resolved like how you thought it would at the beginning.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/25 12:24 AM
5

Every boundary is an ultimatum. Nothing wrong with that at all. Boundaries are healthy. Please set some for you and your kids sake.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/25 12:19 AM
3

None of that matters if you haven't called the police or DCF for an investigation into child abuse. It just shows the judge it wasn't really a concern of yours if you never filed a report. If you play the dirty laundry game, it will cost you a ton of money and in the end the court won't care. Nobody likes to hear your dirty laundry except the lawyers who bill by the hour to hear the sob stories. She is going to get 50/50 custody, child support, alimony, and an equitable division of assets and li…
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/25 01:57 PM
15

She's maneuvering all the finances to her benefit before filing for divorce because her lawyer told her to do that since she wouldn't be able to hide money or stop paying bills once the divorce is filed. The status quo after filing will see her in a superior financial decision with less monthly bill obligations, less support, and less money in the bank. There is an advantage to her secrecy, do not be deceived.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/25 01:48 PM
8

Get an attorney asap. This isn't advice, this is a requirement. Then listen to your attorney and get every penny of equitable distribution, including alimony. If your wife starts to bitch about you being "greedy" or that continues to be her demonic voice in your head, just tell her your attorney is handling all of that and talk to him. In other words, seek to follow the law and receive your due recompense, which is fair and reasonable.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/25 10:59 PM
1

If the home was purchased during the course of the marriage then it is a marital asset subject to equitable division in a divorce. It doesn't matter whose name is on the title. Why would you want to sign a quitclaim deed in any event? Transferring the title without approval of your mortgage company could be problematic. It sounds like your wife is bullying you into doing something you do not want to do. So don't do it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/25 02:03 PM
9

Family Law judges truly suck donkey balls. A dual DV injunction? After the wife admits to domestic violence? Clown world. Best way to win is not to play fellas. Never get married again!
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/25 03:56 PM
5

Your MIL's gifts were to the marriage, not exclusive to your wife. You are getting 1/2 the equity in the marital home, don't worry. Alimony also shouldn't concern you if don't make a lot of money. All STBXs play the same cards and expose themselves as greedy little tyrants because it is their last gasp to control that which they no longer have any power to do so.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 01:58 PM
8

What does your original contract say? Are you happy with it? He can't unilaterally change its terms and if he does, file a bar complaint. $2k/month for a "straightforward" case is code for it's easy and he does NOT expect to work more than the $2k month, meaning it will be a windfall to him for working less. Also, billing by the hour is labor intensive and tedious so switching to a flat fee is another easy lay up for him. You can always fire him and get another lawyer. Your current one does not …
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 10:45 PM
-1

Truth is, a career woman boss babe detracts from her SMV. Add in an addiction to social media validation and the entitlement attitude will be off the charts. Think you can convince her otherwise? Nope, she'll argue with you like a man, further deteriorating her SMV. You marry a career boss babe as insurance against divorce, not love. It's the only winning strategy.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 05:15 PM
4

Sounds like the perfect time to learn how to play drums. Also the trumpet. See if you can play them at the same time. It's truly magical.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 12:24 PM
12

Congratulations and Godspeed fellow traveler! It's always interesting to see a judge take special concern for the wife about an agreed upon settlement that appears to favor the husband, calling a special hearing, and making sure the husband wasn't a bully who coerced the wife to agree to its terms. It's a concern no judge ever had for a husband on the receiving end of a lopsided agreement.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 12:20 PM
1

Make sure you set time limits and stick to your boundaries, assuming she in fact does qualify after filing an application. Truth is, some lenders offer a process of assumption but IRL it is impossible to get approved. It just doesn't make any financial sense to let someone off the hook on a contract when there is no legal basis for it. That said, it will depend on your wife's income, personal debt after equitable division, her credit score, her assets, time at job, equity in the home, and other …
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 01:39 AM
3

"my lawyer seems to think she will never default on the mortgage so I can simply move out and stop contributing." The whole point of a divorce is the equitable distribution of assets. How she comes up with the money to buy you out is not your concern. If she can't do it within a reasonable amount of time (< 6mos.), then the house must be listed for sale and proceeds split equally. Your credit is on the line here, and you will not be able to finance your own home, and the cost of credit will be h…
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 12:29 AM
4

That works both ways, doesn't it? If a man feels religious divorce guilt and wants to talk about it here, then a non-religious person is free to persuade him to adopt atheism instead? But a religious person isn't allowed to come offer support? Why do non religious people care so much about other people talking about religion and want to censor it? That's really what you are saying. I guess I don't feel as threatened as you, and I'm not Christian, Atheist, Islamic, Hindu, or Jewish. If someone ne…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 06:49 PM
-1

Sounds like you've had a bad experience buddy. We've all been there, but censorship to appeal to your personal views is quite the ask. A lot of guys have religious commitment to marriage guilt and need to process exactly that right here. They are welcome too. If you find it offensive, do not read the post and just stay out of the thread.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 05:03 PM
1

Just put that post into an AI like Grok and you'll have more info than you know what to do with. You already know you have to eat healthy. Cut out all sweets. No desserts. Skip lunch. These are some of the few small things that can make a big difference. The double chin you notice doesn't really appear with just 10-15 pounds overweight though. Typically, the dad bod can be a bit deceiving because it is mostly a prominent bloated stomach and there might not be huge love handles or belly fat to se…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 01:17 PM
2

She doesn't need evidence or grounds to get a restraining order because she can just make everything up and a judge will grant it ex parte and you won't be able to contest it for weeks, maybe a month. Happens hundreds of times every day. Better start recording every interaction with her. A Silver Bullet divorce is the preferred method of many women. Orders are easy to follow, even temporary ones. You just have to read them. Why are you getting ice cream for your abuser? She isn't your friend, do…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 12:25 AM
1

"If we work everything else out, then sure, you can have the espresso machine no problem but you'll have to pay my boy for half of it since it is half his."
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 12:08 PM
3

Dropping the D-word is just as bad. As soon as my ex did that I reflexively checked out of the marriage. Not a game that I wanted to play, but it was a game I was going to win. I should've filed the next day, but she figured it out and filed 3 months later, whether out of desperation to win me back or compel marriage counseling or serious talks to save the marriage, I don't know and didn't care. Throwing the D word around is abuse and manipulation, maybe even worse than the actual filing.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 11:54 AM
1

Just scroll the time line and you'll find all the answers to your questions.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/25 09:10 PM
7

John Griffin (Life 2.0)
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/25 02:30 PM
1

I like Pina Coladas and dancing in the rain
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 06:59 PM
4

Husband duties are for husbands. You do not owe your ex anything unrelated to the kids. Your relationship with your gf will definitely change if she sees you being more loyal to your ex's needs than hers. It's human nature.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 09:36 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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