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Verysoftbun Archive

View 6 posts and 449 comments by Verysoftbun on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

When a guy is interested, he can be intuitive about what to do and say. But that being said, lvm can also do it. Not sure of that's what you mean. But guys will figure out what you like without you having to always hint.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 03:36 AM
44

He sounds from his wording like he doesn't care about fixing things. The "I wish you the best". I wonder if he wanted you to find out so he could end things? Maybe I'm totally misreading though. I'm totally just guessing here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 03:33 AM
34

I feel like I've been trying to summarize this but couldn't articulate it. Love it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 03:18 AM
55

Omg the straws and bottle caps. 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 01:31 AM
32

It's not fair of him to keep you on the back burner while he figures out his feelings. He obviously still has feelings for her, that's not fair to you. He's not ready to date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 04:00 AM
23

I wouldn't force it. He should move on to someone who is attracted to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 03:58 AM
143

Abusers defend abusers is my guess. But also I think we see women as the last bastion of hope. So if the women are doing things people generally see as unhealthy it's worse than men because if men are cheating and then women start to cheat as much.... Then who's flying the decency plane?? Basically women are expected to hold the bar for standards while society also hates us for it. But they also hate is when we don't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 03:54 AM
23

And honestly there isn't much insensitive to do it, 15 min is short.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 03:04 AM
8

I used to crochet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 03:01 AM
8

She needs an education so she can get a higher paying job so he can get her to pay his rent and then be mad at her for it because he didn't achieve anything and he hates himself for relying on a woman to provide for him. He won't leave or change though hell just resent her through passive aggressive measures while still draining her funds. 😌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 02:48 AM
14

I felt before like I actually needed to be out doing something but now I realize even things like putting my phone away while I watch TV or read counts and I shouldn't have to be at my phone just because I have it on me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 02:40 AM
74

"women like to be treated like dirt" No, women are suspectable to emotional manipulation and it blows and doesn't justify your abuse just because it "works."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 02:38 AM
3

That's exactly what I was thinking. He probably could find a hot pick me tbh. Tons of women date down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 02:36 AM
3

I love in hypothetical situations when they're trying to threaten us the men were missing out of are the cream of the crop. Even if the most successful handsome men started dating dolls, I doubt they're putting in the work of a real relationship, so it's not like I'm missing out. I'm just missing out being treated like a sex toy. Oh no. Anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 02:32 AM
2

Okay. Now ask yourself why he couldn't do this for himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 02:29 AM
5

That's my thought. I'd have to feel pretty bad about myself to treat someone poorly. I'd rather be a good person with high standards than a mean person manipulating a guy. Plus I don't want to be someone who's manipulated. Usually that signals a weak character.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 02:16 AM
27

I also constantly have dudes ask me if I was real! It just made me think their self esteem must have been poor because they were like "a woman is actually talking to me. This MUST be fake."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 02:04 AM
31

I never would have thought to call it a place for cougars to hang out but that sounds awesome. I'm not into younger guys though. Men my won age are already immature enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 01:32 AM
17

It's easy, I suggest it. It's great for wedding and baby gifts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 01:24 AM
11

I feel like everything is a pua strategy. 🙄 I'm sad that 1 works on people. Or does it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 01:12 AM
15

Honestly I wasted a lot of times waiting for texts. And I don't think if I had stuck to my plans I would have missed anything. I don't even think you really need to text back right away if you'd rather spend that time giving your full attention to something enjoyable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 01:09 AM
7

Be careful about posting photos on reddit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 01:06 AM
6

I bet it's like his sister or something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 01:02 AM
25

Sounds like just friends to me. You may want to pull back tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 12:59 AM
21

There's a series of tests that the sperm passes to get further. Sperm that doesn't pass gets destroyed and basically the sperm has to ask for consent at the end.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 12:58 AM
97

Is it bad that I'm just jealous? Also if he ever asked for a BJ if be like "but you could just give yourself one?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 12:54 AM
54

Same. Does everyone on FDS cross stitch?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 12:52 AM
29

Age gap is a no. But I'm confused are you guys dating? It sounds like what you described you're just friends? Has he asked you on a date?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 12:48 AM
2

What bugs me is this isn't even 50/50 dinner is more than lunch. Suits are very expensive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 06:44 AM
6

I have zero fear in asking a dude out, I just don't see the point. I'm sure it makes him feel great but what's the longevity of those relationships? I'm not interested in going out if my way to boost a dudes self esteem. He can figure out how to do that on his own. I'm interested in going on dates with men who know how to initiate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 06:42 AM
67

Here's how an adult would handle it Teases you, sees you're upset. Apologizes. If someone calls you sensitive it's a means to not own up to what their behavior caused. And that's best case scenario that he was actually teasing and not trying to upset you in the first place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 05:38 AM
2

If you click the link and dl wix it opens as fds ap
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 05:32 AM
1

He's an asshole. I think it will be time and learning to forgive yourself gradually. And let yourself sit with anger. Imagine having the audacity to tell a man to reschedule his life around what's convenient for you because you want to have fun. What a creepy dude! But I'm glad you know better. You woke up and that's what's important.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 05:15 AM
8

Why are women not supposed to take dating seriously?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 04:56 AM
11

Leveling up is kind of like cleaning out an entirely full closet. You move some stuff out and then you're like wow it's clean! And then you address the next layer. Just keep going!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 04:52 AM
2

And nothing of value was lost 😌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 04:46 AM
5

The last time I heard this was from a guy who liked me who didn't meet my standards. He said that he liked the idea of trying to impress me by upping his game, and he'd never felt that way before. But he eventually got bored/tired and ghosted me. I never asked him to do anything differently. Trash took itself out. I think the moral is go for men who already meet your standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 02:14 AM
34

The photo gives me the creeps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 01:38 AM
18

I miss having a bathtub with a faucet....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 01:36 AM
5

👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 01:34 AM
5

I constantly am not sure if I'm demi/ace or I just have self respect. Like in a situation where I felt safe and respected I'd be into it. I orgasm every night. It's not like I don't have a libido. I just can't get interested in sex with people who aren't committed long term. And I haven't found anyone like that. I also need to be touched/kissed before I feel attracted to someone and even then I don't feel safe enough for sex I don't want it even if they turn me on. Am I asexual or do I just have…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 12:27 AM
11

I feel like they lack it in other areas but then are able to apply it for dumb stuff. Like a friend used to write her boyfriend's papers for him in school even! But when it came to things he wanted, he was able to make the effort. Just trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 12:22 AM
5

I feel like I've also seen this but then after a while the guy gets tired of intitiating so she may still have dodged a bullet. But now she knows.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 12:10 AM
20

Yes!!! I fell for the belief that the nerd will treat you right. Nerd guys are more porn sick and have less achievement and don't know how to socialize AND they treat you like shit and have a lot of insecurities they take out on you. They also assume I'm dumb, and then when I know more then them they're extra mad about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 11:34 PM
3

👏👏👏 queen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 06:38 PM
38

He has the body of a young boy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 04:23 AM
55

What the hell. Just because he isn't cheating he still needs to tell you he's dating someone. What the fuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 04:22 AM
3

The short version is my parents have the narcissistic/co dependent thing going plus I'm Christian and the Christianity I was raised in was all about making women do everything and be pure martyrs. I'm still Christian but I sort of rediscovered God and my purpose is to be loved. God doesn't demand sacrifice from humans, so I realized I could be myself and not have to justify my existence by trying to be perfect all the time. Luckily though because I don't have sex shitty dudes don't see me as a r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 04:11 AM
8

Back when I was online dating and clueless I used to read his stuff to try and understand how men think and I took it to heart. None of it actually applied though because it's nonsense. Some of it is right. He does say if you (a guy) want to get back and you contact your ex GF again you can't make it about you and your feelings. But he also has a bunch of pua player bullshit advice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 04:02 AM
25

I constantly would give people th benefit of the doubt and all it does is keep you in a situation where you're being hurt while not giving yourself the ability to comprehend you're being hurt. It's better to assume they were being bad and of they aren't, it's up to them to prove it Through Actions and never repeating the mistake again. And even then you may still not want to associate with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 03:59 AM
1

Love Lundy. The thing is, when it comes to one off behavior it's easy to make excuses so I see where they're coming from. But it's not like women bring up every little thing. They usually only speak up about something major and then get shut down with an easy explanation. It's easy to think they're just being irrational when they aren't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 03:43 AM
5

For me it was just noticing that no matter what I did, no matter what hoops I jumped through there were always new hoops, they kept pushing the goal post. Meanwhile I was accepting shit behavior with 0 expectations on their part. And the second I said "you know what I'm good" he flipped out. It made me examine all my relationships and I'm cleaning up shop now. But basically I was poor and had just an ok education and felt less than everyone about everything and thought that that qualified me for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 11:52 PM
13

Came here to say this. I often am afraid that people will tell me I'm not allowed to have standards because I'm not a model with a 6 figure job. But even then people will still not respect you. (Edit: six figure*)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 11:43 PM
3

Disregard I see you explained in another chat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 11:38 PM
7

Had you not done a visual date up to that point? Five months is a long time... Sounds very fishy to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 11:38 PM
24

And if you complain it's your fault for putting yourself in that situation to begin with ☺️ </s>
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 11:20 PM
0

God it's so real. Love a man with follow through.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 10:23 PM
5

As soon as covid is over I'm going to start getting massages.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 08:28 PM
12

It was a weird and bad experience but I'm so glad it happened. I never slept with him and he was the first person I dated. He was like a fuckboy vaccine. Meeting him made me realize how my behavior kept attracting shitty people and experiences into my life and how it all lead back to my upbringing. If I hadn't met him I never would have eventually found FDS ☺️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 07:20 PM
8

I have thought about this and observed it a lot. I think people who have a lot of anger, ECT need a target to exercise the anger on. They practice it in their head but have no outlet for it. They have to live with it until they can find a target to "justify" the anger on. I think that's why a lot of men will act like women are more stupid/annoying than they actually are, because then they can justify exercising their bad behavior on that woman. It has nothing to do with the woman. For example, i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 07:07 PM
30

I dated someone who used to carry my things for me, even tiny take out boxes, held my door open, stood when I entered a room, ECT. But he made fun of me and basically told me I was crazy when I told him about an experience I had being online and in person stalked by a hacker. He knew none of the details but still felt confident enough to tell me I was wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 06:57 PM
10

Thank you for posting this. I have such a hard time allowing myself to want things. Seeing other people who also struggle with it being upfront about their desires helps me to be like, "I can want things, too!!!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 06:37 PM
30

I remember there was a meme here like "no one cries harder than a man when you found out what he's done."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 06:33 PM
186

It grosses me out that men call it "raw."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 06:31 PM
3

Good for you!! I'm sure it will pass after you let yourself feel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 06:23 PM
3

I only wear headphones in public when I specifically don't want strange men to talk to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 06:17 PM
18

I didn't realize that but you're right! That's not a yes or a no that's just seeing if you're willing to give him free time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 06:14 PM
24

That's exactly why it's just a power play. If op says "scroll up?" He'd probably use it as an excuse to make her seem rude. Or he'll say he deleted it (hinting he didn't care about her.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 06:13 PM
12

I didn't understand his comment ending in genius. I thought he was saying "when lunch is genius" and it was a new phrase I didn't understand. It took me a long time to realize he was being a dick. Commas, boys. Commas.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 06:10 PM
23

Every job I've ever had I thought I wasn't good enough for but eventually I leveled up enough to go "you know what, I'm too good for this." Just keep learning and doing and you got it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 06:07 PM
9

The other thing is I wasn't confident that all his weird behavior was real because people around me kept making excuses for them and basically saying I was the problem..posting in detail on fds helps women to get detailed response breaking down how the dude is the problem. So I do think it's helpful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 05:44 PM
21

I used to be that way too so I don't think it's trolling. Tbh I can't understand why or explain it now other than dopamine addiction and trauma bonding/falling for his future faking. I think I just thought if I stayed around long enough he would change and I just needed to wait for that time to come.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 05:41 PM
15

He's seen hunchback of Notre Dame too many times.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 05:38 PM
4

Stop caring what they think and stop hanging out with people who treat you that way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 05:55 AM
43

That's always what I think when a guy says something like that. Must be a terrible lay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 05:49 AM
20

Poor Marilyn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 05:17 AM
74

I never liked him. I never got to know him. He made sure of it. I liked the act.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 05:17 AM
20

What was Marilyn's reaction
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 05:05 AM
195

A man wrote this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 05:04 AM
11

No one is perfect. As long as it's not affecting your life it's fine. Just set boundaries. If they tell you you're being too extreme for having certain beliefs for example, you don't want to live with someone before marriage, but they complain to your u about how their partner who they live with doesn't do chores just politely say you'd rather not discuss it. If they can't respect your beliefs then distance yourself. I think all my female friends except one asked out their partner. Almost all me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 01:38 AM
19

You don't owe them anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 01:34 AM
31

Good riddance and your life is about to get so much better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 01:30 AM
46

Oh man I bet he capitalizes on this by letting her pay half his mortgage to prove she's not a gold digger 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 01:28 AM
24

Tailor Swift, I hope you find FDS one day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 12:31 AM
42

This. Also if you start relating to Taylor Swift songs. (No shade. I love her and I think she's leveling up herself. But it still stands.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 11:08 PM
24

I think they're trying to get you to start initiating again. I've never had it last once they need to step up if I was the one originally leading.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 06:48 PM
17

I think it comes down to "you don't relate to people your age because you didn't mature."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 06:44 PM
5

I had always just counted this as emotional labor. That term makes way more sense, thanks!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 06:37 PM
3

The giving complements to receive them is something I encounter a lot. I think it's a low self esteem thing. But it's not good to be saddled to someone like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 06:32 PM
9

I just talked to a friend about this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 06:25 PM
27

I think a lot of people have done it or are doing it and saying you wouldn't makes them self-conscious. It's the same if you say you don't want to have sex before marriage or until a certain point. It makes people think you're saying they made a bad choice by having sex earlier. But that's a them problem. You can't change your life just to .make someone happier about theirs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 06:23 PM
23

What he said isn't wrong, I just don't care. A lot of guys "don't want" hard to get women because that would require doing things and they're lazy. It's easier to pretend the women are the problem instead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 06:16 PM
2

Ew!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 06:03 PM
5

Women also get blamed for choosing men who aren't good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 06:38 AM
11

I noticed this and I think it must be a porn thing. I know a lot of guys have praise kinks. They probably think if a guy has a big dick women will worship it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 05:50 AM
8

Yeah the second you start trying to act differently to get him to behave differently it's 1. Manipulation. Even if it's to get him to be a nice person. 2. Creating work for you. You can't rest when you're spending energy and time thinking of how to act differently to get him to act differently. Just walk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 04:09 AM
22

Omg I didn't know. I'm suddenly having flashbacks to guys who were very distant but then suddenly would be touching my arms a ton and being like "oh your shirts are just always soft." I'm thinking of two dudes in particular who did a lot of other seduction stuff. Glad I only ever kissed one and fucked neither ☺️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 04:01 AM
3

The resting his head on your shoulder is the creepiest part for me tbh. Sorry he did all those things. Glad you bailed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 03:59 AM
2

I think love is more action so the "I love you but not in love" just seems like "I could love you but I am not ready to." They aren't qualified.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 03:56 AM
11

If he wanted her to stay he never would have done the speech to begin with, unless he was just doing it to play games. Walking out is the only option.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 03:50 AM
26

If you don't say what you expect then they're like """"but how can you be mad when he didn't propose for 7 years, it's not like you agreed you'd be married by then. You should have been upfront about it to begin with.""""
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 02:54 AM
47

The photos are from the manufacturer site. Which means the girl had to look it up.... I feel like this is fake.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 02:09 AM
13

Right. If men were chill I'd never wear a bra.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 02:05 AM
18

Sorry the pandemic is hitting you hard. We will get through it. And what a good man ☺️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 12:37 AM
76

One time I was dating someone who was LV (not a dude tho) and once time to get me to shut up they said they loved me. I asked them why (whenever I told them I loved them they made me go into detail why). I had never done this to them before. They got so upset at me. They said they were too tired to "get into it."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 08:30 PM
2

Lol sorry I just went and read the comments. Turns out I'm not original.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 08:00 PM
8

No, because at least this dog is cute.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 07:36 PM
5

I love when I would ignore my intuition because it seemed rude. Then the guy would end up ghosting for literally no reason. Like oh cool. Nice for what?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 04:41 PM
5

Leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 04:26 PM
24

She says she wants it so she stops having to use it. So in her case it's just she's not aroused.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 04:07 PM
5

This is a whole fetish and if it's leaking into his life to the point you notice and can point to many instances of noticing it's a big no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 03:58 PM
74

I can't imagine sex being good when I'm not aroused.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 03:52 PM
20

Yep. I feel like every time I get left or leave it hard at first for a while and then I feel like how you feel after working out and recovering. I got what I needed to learn from the experience and now I'm better off. Although going back sometime is an option it feels like I'd be reducing my growth and it's not appealing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 03:47 PM
138

So many Disney movies I feel like are about women needing to become worthy enough for men by being self sacrificially kind. Which would be great if that worked but men don't like that unless they're planning on exploiting it, and even then they still have it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 03:37 PM
2

I don't know what I looked like but I do remember friends giving me a sense of pity when I would mention him. One of my friends dated a complete loser and everyone knew it. While we didn't think less of her we were glaringly aware of her poor self esteem because of it. Not that it was a secret. But I could see people taking advantage of that. Now I think I wouldn't associate with someone attached to a lvm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 05:14 AM
5

If I pay for half the date .. does that mean we're both half prostitutes 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 04:50 AM
21

I had no idea. Thanks! Good idea.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 04:12 AM
7

Looking forward to it!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 03:48 AM
7

I'm the same and working on it. Sorry he was inappropriate with you. What a creep!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 03:39 AM
3

☺️ good job!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 03:00 AM
9

I relate. If a guy even vaguely would hint I'd want to send a photo. Don't feel bad this is a normal thing, as in not uncommon. Glad you're working through it and realizing your value! 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:34 AM
12

Whoever wrote it is clever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:31 AM
27

My thoughts exactly. He then has to ask a random man to buy him Pepto because his wife won't. He'd never get to live it down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:27 AM
4

Same and I'm working on it. On the one hand I think some people are genuine and I do eventually want a partner who complements me, so I really have to learn to manage my feelings about it. On the other hand, a lot of people do it to butter you up to get something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:24 AM
17

I don't know how ticktoc or reddit works. Would you mind sending me the link to the ticktoc?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:21 AM
80

Congrats on being thick AF, op you must be so honored.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:19 AM
53

This must be parody. The updates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:14 AM
12

Us: ok I understand and respect your boundary. Them: how dAre???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 05:20 PM
3

Lol I love your username
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 03:28 PM
6

He basically told you that you setting and keeping boundaries triggered him. Let's assume that this is true, he shouldn't be dating until he works that out. You can't stay with someone who says that you being truthful, that you Did make it clear with words and body language that you weren't comfortable, is too much for him to handle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 07:36 AM
3

I am striving towards living my best life. If someone comes along who complements my lifestyle, and makes it better, I'd date them. But I'm not going out of my way to find one, because that's not my goal. I'm huddling towards other aspersions that are fulfilling and enjoyable. Also going out of my way to try and find a dude sounds unfun and exhausting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 05:26 AM
8

They're always so weird and sneaky as if we won't figure it out. Friend dated a guy who was set on walking on the beach. She didn't understand until he kept asking what kind of footwear she'd be wearing/if she was going to walk barefoot/too many questions about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 05:05 AM
12

Him not looking like his photo is a red flag. Just tell him you had a nice time but you don't feel a connection. You don't need to go into detail. And if he presses or agues then he's no bueno.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 05:01 AM
43

When is having a job a gendered trait?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 04:53 AM
4

I hate when men who know how to minmax video games and iv train Pokemon can't figure out how to be a basically good partner. Damn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 03:59 AM
66

Why did he say you were siblings? What?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 03:31 AM
9

I'd maybe go on an date and if he can't make it romantic in a way that changes the friendship feeling then don't push it? I've never had this happen, but that's what I'd do in this situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 03:24 AM
72

Guy who told me he wanted to stop dating was So Upset when I told him I understood. He was mad that I wasn't upset 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 02:25 AM
7

Hahahahahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 02:21 AM
1

Sorry they did that to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 02:16 AM
12

Omg I'm going to suggest the link to therapy thing to my friends who use old now. Love it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 02:12 AM
18

Ah yeah or my Instagram, which I don't give to strangers. They're so entitled.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 02:10 AM
7

Snapchat is 100% just an easy way to get women to cave to sending photos and also the disappearing is sus. I also think it's weird when men use it and they're late 20s+. I associate snap with my college days.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 02:10 AM
33

I wouldn't say I feel bad when they say insecure things but it reminds me of when I was insecure and would sort of couch my comments with things like "if you're still interested"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 02:02 AM
78

Even if I was ok with porn use porn use during work, even if they work from home, is a Hard No for me. I believe one of the definitions of porn addiction is using it at work, the implication being you can't properly segment your life because you're addicted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 02:00 AM
13

Is the meme trying to say they're only attracted to abusers?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 07:00 PM
10

This. What helped me was writing out what I thought would happen and then what actually happened. I noticed a pattern that good people understood. People who guilted me or made me feel bad I distanced myself. Also, although I don't think online dating is good, I used online dating to do this also. It was easier to practice boundaries with strangers over text.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 05:32 PM
6

Good idea!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 06:53 PM
3

I have depression and anxiety but people I date don't know because I have it under control and manage it by myself. Its never your job to manage someone's illness (except your children.) I dated someone who made me their suicide watch and it was hell. Stay out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 06:43 AM
7

I feel like r/nice girls is like.... Women (although honestly I suspect most of them are still very young teenagers) who are annoyed by bad behavior but don't know how to address it. So they do manipulative stuff to try and get the guy to change. (like posting paragraphs)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 06:32 AM
8

Wow what a dirtbag. Sorry he spoke to you like that. He's not entitled to sex with you. And since it's your first time he should have been respectful and not felt like he was owed sex. You're allowed to back out at any point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 06:07 AM
1

Answer: he blocked me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 09:43 PM
3

I love when they basically tell you the consequences of your potential actions by proping up someone else. Like, "People are jerks for judging me for not having a license." Aka: if you don't like that I don't have one you're a jerk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 07:44 PM
44

Do they ever have an excuse for it or do they just feel entitled to be qualified for a date range they aren't in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 07:35 PM
7

I see that constantly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 07:10 PM
4

Mine was a literal pain in the neck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 06:27 AM
4

I used it for about a month, dated one person for a while, he was Bad but he was like my fuck boy vaccine. (We never had sex but it taught me a bunch of abusive behavior to look out for). Then I dated 6 other people very quickly in am attempt to feel better about myself before realizing it didn't work and I wasn't having a good time or growing. I took a step back for ? A year? Then I used it to build up my ability to turn down men when they made me uncomfortable and to learn what wasn't okay. I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 06:25 AM
36

I think men are more picky though. Not when it comes to sex but a whole relationship. So they should be the ones to pick. Also they hate when women ask and assume something is wrong with her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 06:14 AM
21

He's trying to make "I'm childish and refuse to grow up" sound like he's cool and everyone else is missing out on the fun time and he doesn't understand why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 06:12 AM
5

I heard some good advice recently (but found out the vlogger is a terrible pedophile so I won't source. I think the advice was paraphrased from somewhere else) "Pay attention to the nonsexual daydreamed you have about him. If you imagine him saving you from some situation, try and give yourself that instead." So if you daydream about him saving you from living with your family, or standing up to you against friends who badmouth you, you should work on moving out yourself and finding new friends.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 06:06 AM
5

I would personally try to ignore it and be sure to focus on his actions. If it bothers you maybe ask him to tone it down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 03:37 AM
7

Right! I'm afraid of leaving men, who have left me on read, on read. I think in my mind they're going to ask me what I was doing and I won't have a good enough answer. Even though I would never demand an answer. I'm in the middle of being left on read now, now with someone I'm dating though, so I'm using it as practice. I'm interested to see what happens when he gets back to me and I mirror him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 12:43 AM
103

Men are psychotic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 10:43 PM
148

There's that quote: men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 10:36 PM
12

I would walk away. You really can figure out where he's coming from or what he'll accept but you aren't his therapist and he wants to learn to manage his own feelings, so let him. Go be with someone who is ready for a relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 10:35 PM
18

Also the criticism of the guy isn't like normal criticism of men which is "he's abusing her."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 10:32 PM
14

Ah yes the reverse john snow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 10:21 PM
50

Why do I feel like a dude wrote this....?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 09:56 PM
1

I got tired reading this. You're clearly not happy with him. Don't go on a date with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 05:13 PM
5

When does the cycle of needing to go on tinder to forget someone end?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 05:05 PM
12

I feel like trying to get validation on dating apps is like drinking salt water when you're dehydrated. A friend of mine did the same thing recently and now she's just upset about guys who ghosted her on top of everything else. Learn to not need the validation from outside sources in the first place so you're not open need validation from people who will probably just hurt you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 04:53 PM
8

I married shane when I played because I have a hurt bird fix it complex 🤡 I'm better now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 03:48 PM
8

Is there a phrase when guys go into this "business mode"? "I feel there is some unresolved circumstances"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 05:58 AM
4

I used to talk with a guy friend about his problems a lot. Be said to me he liked it because our guy friends never talked with him in detail like me and our other female friend did. I noticed though that when I had stuff I wanted to talk about he just responded with reaction emojis and very rarely empathized or even gave Good/thoughtful advice. I pulled back a lot. He later expressed when moving he really liked having female roommates because they listen to his problems. But it was "fucking anno…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 05:50 AM
11

Saying "non-vegan" sounds so defensive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 05:34 AM
6

I used to think if someone didn't invest in me it was because I wasn't worth investing in. Even people who were worse off than me financially, socially, ect. People who I essentially saw as projects. I thought "I'm willing to lower myself and you don't even appr it." Which is a shitty way to think of people. I also recognized situations where other people saw me as projects and were mad when I couldn't validate them the way they wanted. I now see that if someone can't invest in a relationship wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 05:23 AM
101

Translation: you made it too difficult to be cheated on and that annoys him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 04:05 AM
3

Men would use it as a reason why women shouldn't get off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 03:13 AM
32

Lol reaching out to tell you not to talk, which is just an invitation to talk in and of itself. This is like that episode of the fairy odd parents when the popular girl is like "why aren't you noticing me not noticing you?!?!?!?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 02:19 AM
13

But casually.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 01:28 AM
19

"non vegan"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 12:50 AM
20

Unrealted but It's weird to me when they put if they do or don't want kids when they only want casual.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 12:43 AM
3

(spoilers for the twilight series ) Makes me think of Jacob Black thinking he was meant to be single because everyone he knew had already imprinted and he hadn't until he imprints on a baby 🤡🚩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 12:32 AM
152

The kanji is "god" "dreams" "love" Which is just a douchebag version of "live laugh love"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 12:28 AM
2

I think the only real HV traits are shown in actions. Someone's profile may have no red flags, but they could be lying about wanting a relationship, having a job, ECT. You'll see the fruits of the truth IRL after time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 06:18 PM
66

Christ leave him!!!! He's literally saying he wants to have sex with your daughter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 08:54 PM
6

Yeah old is garbage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 04:20 AM
119

He also won't like her because he won't be able to respect her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 04:19 AM
18

This just says he was hoping the experience would be bad for her, and thus humiliating that she went along with it. He needs to divorce. Christ.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 10:50 PM
32

Don't be embarrassed. No one teaches us this stuff we just figure it out. And you figured it out. That's all that matters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 10:47 PM
2

Talk cheappppppp
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 05:36 AM
7

I basically realized that I'll never be objectively happy because the target is always moving. Thick thighs, ass, tits, small waist? Someone is still gonna say you're fat. Thin? Someone is still gonna say no curves. I think we put value in our looks as an ability to draw in attention that will validate us as people. But it really doesn't work. Even really hot people will talk about how they don't feel good enough. Because no matter how you look you need to learn to validate yourself. When it com…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 05:27 AM
12

I think it's really pathetic when men imply I'm fighting anyone for them. It's arogant and puts the assumption that I want them bad enough to fight someone for them on me. The second I am supposed to fight for a guy I just think "nah she can have you".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 05:17 AM
3

He knows what he said.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 05:14 AM
1

I would highly suggest looking into TPRS for French. It's language acquisition vs "learning" and I've been doing it for Japanese recently and can tell my speaking and listening has gone up a lot. I think try and think about if you had no one in your life you had to worry about but yourself, and TV didn't exist, what would you do? And then do those things. For me it's Japanese, gardening, piano, writing, reading and occasionally cross stitch (but I mostly do that for gifts so it's not really for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 05:11 AM
12

"boy all you bring to the table is occasionally conversation and you can't even serve" Woof!!! I feel this. I'm not entertainment for people who can't keep pace.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 05:08 AM
8

Yeah I understand. I would suggest he not put photos of his food and him in his apron, and he would probably get fewer food requests. But he doesn't seem bad idk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 05:04 AM
86

God. I got addicted to googling so I could figure out how to act to make him not garbage. The answer was to throw the trash away
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 04:58 AM
34

Yeah. You're comfortable with what's familiar. Like when dudes do things for me I become confused and distraught because I'm used to it being because they want something. So I then go for people who do nothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 04:55 AM
1

I'm very upset because I'm learning the ways that one of my guy friends who did something shady to me that I brushed off did shady stuff to another woman in our friend group and that he's been emotionally abusing his GF for the past five years, cheated on her, and did a bunch of other bad stuff and I had no idea. And now I wonder about his girlfriends before her including one that was my friend before they dated who ghosted me when she broke up with him. Looking back I worry that my friendship w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 10:05 PM
3

Perfectly put. I'm saving this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 07:43 PM
8

Right. The real answer is respect people and women and you will go far. But be doesn't know how to do that and probably ndoesnt want to. So he's looking for a back door and then mad when it just goes up in smoke.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 07:42 PM
18

"I used a system that fucks with women in hopes of getting the power and sex it promises and I didn't get either and I'm upset about it" Like dude sorry you were stupid enough to believe the lies men tell themselves lol no one is really a successful player. They just pretend they are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 07:40 PM
17

There were elements of it that worked on me to an extent but overall it just turned me off. Example: he tried to triangulate me and I took it to mean he liked someone else so I said oh ok I understand you want to date her. I'll back off then. He didn't expect this and was weird after and I didn't understand at all at the time. I couldn't understand why he'd want me to think he wanted to date someone else except as a means to hint to me he didn't want to date me. So I did the normal thing in that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 07:39 PM
9

It seems like he realized trp doesn't work for what he wants and not. It's bad because it's extremely disrespectful AND doesn't work. It's more like "oh I plan no still seeing these people as usable but trp isn't quite the way"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 07:35 PM
13

I have some doves that live on my patio that I feed and two are a couple. I watched them when the male first started courting her. And I see the ways he cares for her. There's another male I see that keeps trying and failing to get with her and it's so funny because he doesn't do any of the things the other male does, he just starts stalking towards her and she awkwardly walks away quickly. when the other male sees him he scares him off immediately and then waits till the female is done eating a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 07:20 PM
11

How is Kyle not on here
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 07:09 PM
45

See also: I have no intention of backing my love up with any action, or treating you with respect. I just want "I love you" to be my get out of everything free card.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 07:08 PM
69

His comment does a few things Reminds you of "the competition" Pits you against other women by putting them down Reminds you that he's looking for interesting, so you'd better entertain him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 06:20 AM
64

Don't want to get trapped with someone I don't like for 1-70 years
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 06:11 AM
15

Not reacting well when they say or do something inappropriate and not folding when they do the "can't you take a joke"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 06:09 AM
13

I was left by two people who were low value and honestly, good riddance. It helped me realize there was really nothing I could do. I wanted to leave in both cases but kept second guessing. Them leaving made me let go more easily. They cleared out and did you a favor. Now you don't have to worry about their feelings and can focus on your own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 06:07 AM
6

Why does he do that by Lundy Bancroft Whole again by Jackson McKenzie If you're Christian prodigal God by Timothy Keller (helped me realize I was loved as is and not by doing anything. Not related to dating. But you could see how it would extend)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 06:06 AM
6

Try to learn to love yourself and not want a partner. No matter how you look! Disengage your looks from this. Even if you were a 10/10 your goal should be self fulfillment. If someone comes along and convinces you through their actions that you should invest in them and you want to cool! But you're not on the shelf waiting for someone to hand you your self worth by asking you out. You get self worth by giving it to yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 06:04 AM
8

Iv had a man introduce his girlfriend to me as his friend. Men are the worst.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 02:25 AM
16

I'm sorry h did that. It's clearly him and not you because who the fuck does that??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 02:13 AM
2

Me, a bisexual: pfff sure
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 09:41 PM
3

Men live in a constant state of cognative dissonance for the sake of making women try to meet impossible standards. They also are very upset that women age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 09:23 PM
1

Basically until everything is economically fair and women have advocacy over themselves it can't be fair. And men should make up for the differences in the meantime.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 09:01 PM
1

I think it's fine to just slowly distance if you don't want to ghost. If he notices and calls it out and gets mad at you then ghost. I was all for fds rules except that on male friendships but now I'm coming to terms with the ways my guy friends have been not great and I'm starting to distance. It's hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 08:56 PM
21

Wow did we date the same person!? I have basically this exact conversation with a guy who wanted to just be friends but would proceed to try and feed me, get mad when I talked about other men, and tell me how much he wanted to kiss me multiple times. Then tried to act like I was crazy for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 07:42 PM
111

Y e s I've had guys do this and I was like ah ok NM then. And then they were suddenly available. It's a game.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 06:09 AM
20

I just recently started realizing this. I don't like how a lot of my friends give vague responses to invites. Not just mine either. We had a going away planned by one of our friends and hardly anyone responded of they would or wouldn't come. She had to keep asking and people kept not responding. I realized that it was extremely rude to not reply. It caused her to last minute schedule. I realized that were at an age where just not replying is really inconsiderate. I'm an adult. I want friends who…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 04:04 AM
18

You shouldn't try to figure out the motives of why someone isn't asking you out. Just be aware that he isn't and he's an adult man, so if he wanted to, he would. This could be for any number of reasons so don't try to figure it out. Just accept that he isn't and move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 03:20 AM
4

I think she just meant unfortunately she sent them and then added the note that there was no face in them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 03:11 AM
4

If you knew he was a creep beforehand you obviously wouldn't have done it. But you didn't know at the time, so there's no use bearing yourself up. No one knows immediately if something is going to work out. It's only really after.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 03:10 AM
12

Bookstore guy knows your kinks and warns his female friends about you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 03:07 AM
12

It's harder for them in that they can't use As Many laws as they used to to control women. But even then they are still able to get out of a lot of responsibility for their actions by complaining when they're held accountable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 02:56 AM
19

When I was on old I had the same issue. All my photos were long dresses, long sleeved shirt and pants but because it's and ass men would still just think I was there for them to oggle. You can't really help this. Just filter them out when they do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 02:49 AM
56

The comments are at least pretty good. One person says he can't rely on his wife for happiness which is good advice for women too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 02:39 AM
4

You are totally justified in leaving over the birthday thing alone. Adults may not need full on parties but it's still Absolutely Normal to still expect your partner to give you a gift/take you to dinner/ give you a card (all not just one, alllll of these if not Also a party. Although not now because covid) That alone would be grounds but also negging you for your looks insulting your piercings and asking for a 3some no fucking way. Leave him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 01:53 AM
27

If you legalize it it would probably make it harder for impoverished people who do it as a last resort to access it and instead would just draw people who could probably get other jobs. I think the only way to properly address it would just to support women, all women, in a way that makes them not need to rely on sex work for income. I think few women would want to do it even if it was legal if they didn't need the money. And even if they did want to out of their own volition, they'd be able to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 06:18 AM
2

The japanese is something about corona and alcohol every day
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 05:53 AM
7

Gaslighting has made me question my own instincts and opinions and I often fall victim to trusting other people's wrong opinions, especially mens, because they are more confident and willing to tell me I'm wrong even when I'm not. I am only now starting to work on it and it's hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 02:33 AM
3

He sounds like he's gonna kill you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 02:28 AM
6

I'm confused if this is a "here's a nice hypothetical" or it he's like "oh btw I have a kid and a wife"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 04:29 PM
37

I can't help being turned on by a guy who shows they care 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 01:51 AM
8

It's not your job to care about their feelings one way or another. If they get an ego boost it doesn't affect you and it doesn't change them, so don't worry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 05:15 AM
31

What's sad is I do want to get married and have kids. But I won't do it with someone who wouldn't add value. I don't want to saddle my children with burdens the way my parents did to me. So I'll wait patiently. And if it doesn't pan out, okay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 05:12 AM
8

I'm saying this as a person who has struggled with (and learned to manage) mental illness who dated someone who did not manage theirs, don't do date him. It sounds harsh but you can't start working around his unmanaged symptoms, you'll only end up enabling them. He either needs to find someone who is ok with going distances without talking or needs to learn to get well enough to not need to pull away for long periods. Mental illness sucks but you also need to be honest with yourself if you're si…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 05:08 AM
3

So needy. Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 11:25 PM
46

Love Lundy. Darvo is so useful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 04:49 AM
3

Many a truth was said in jest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 01:49 AM
4

Men* But also me because I'm bi and women are so overwhelmingly wonderful...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 01:47 AM
1

Talking to women makes me stupid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 01:46 AM
9

It works like once, MAYBE, and then they learn to manipulate you from doing it again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 01:45 AM
29

I feel like my whole life has been changing for men, but I often start doing things I didn't know if enjoy because of it. Got super good at typing and into computers because of a guy and it helped me in the long run and I love computers. But it didn't help me get the guy and has never interested men. If you're familiar with the heroines journey it involves abandoning the feminine for the masculine, getting a false reward, realizing it doesn't serve her, returning to the feminine. I feel like all…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 01:37 AM
7

Sounds like he was trying to segway to flirting. Especially since you corrected him he may have wanted to change the subject.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 01:44 AM
4

He absolutely has an STD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 04:28 AM
2

Absolutely second keeping a journal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 04:27 AM
5

Yep. I was a person so used to not acknowledging my own feelings and in the end I had to, as hard as it was, because I knew I was deteriorating. And then I left and I got way better. Lesson learned. Men teach you feelings are illogical in order to keep you from trusting them and leaving.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 06:20 AM
6

You did the right thing. I don't think waiting would have changed much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 05:54 AM
5

I hardly believe he could hold down a conversation let alone deliver on a good time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 05:50 AM
67

Maybe were not on the same page "I'm gonna act like you're stupid to avoid answering because if I do I prove your point"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 05:49 AM
26

I think he's being obtuse
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 05:48 AM
5

Men love to try and intellectualize your feelings so that they can dismantle the "argument" for why you feel a certain way. Like imagine if you had a nightmare and woke up scared and while you were fully aware that it was a nightmare knowing that doesn't stop the scared feeling. You have to let the fear either leave or you need to address any real life reasons that caused the dream But men will try and talk you out of your feelings and especially will lie to get you to stop feeling a certain way…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 05:46 AM
10

I'm not responsible for the pain done to me but I am responsible for healing myself. I know what you mean. I've been learning over the past two years how to not be taken advantage of and undo the toxic self defense and survival methods that kept me alive but aren't helping me thrive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 05:43 AM
4

I understand this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 05:41 AM
6

Ddlg
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 03:55 AM
2

Lol Wow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 03:55 AM
15

Tbh sounds like a weird Christian thing. (I say this as a Christian.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 03:54 AM
2

Salvation is personal and until someone is at the place where the lightbulb goes off you can't really reach them and you shouldn't have to. I remember being in a place where I was willing asleep because if I let myself wake up I knew I'd have to make changes I wasn't ready for. And I don't think I would have been able to mentally handle it. It was t until I safely got away that I could then unpack that box. And I was able to look back and finally understand the words spoken to me by people who w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 03:52 AM
30

That I can't wait for anyone to stand up for my worth. That I'm allowed to act in my best interest. That I don't have to exhaust myself self sacrificing for people. That I'm allowed to withhold my love from abusers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 03:41 AM
9

This is a common theme in romance novels and all I can think is "yeah because literally only a woman you've had enough time to emotionally break down would be into you" and kidnap provides that opportunity and makes it so she feels lucky to depend on him. I read one where the woman felt like he lived her because he was so good to feed her. It's gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 05:31 AM
5

I feel like if someone hit me with that I would block before reading
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 05:04 AM
1

I had almost the same thing happen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 05:20 AM
1

It requires self awareness and emotional maturity which they don't have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 05:08 AM
2

Gross!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 04:53 AM
6

Yes, this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 08:15 PM
5

That's a fair point but what I'm talking about is people who post a lot and who have posted for other causes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 08:12 PM
332

What the everliving fuck. "We highlight the emphasis if exploiting black bodies as a means of solidarity" what the fuck what the fuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 01:33 AM
8

I'd just rip off the band-aid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 12:28 AM
2

Hi, what
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 12:26 AM
10

The moral of r/nicegirls is don't text paragraphs or tell them what they did wrong. They'll post it on the internet to make you seem desperate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 12:20 AM
13

Oh, I see you've also met Kyle
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 12:18 AM
3

I would not co opt the black lives movement but a lot of the things that the blm movement is working on will address the issues you mentioned and will hold white men accountable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 12:16 AM
1

You wounded them by telling them you don't need them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 12:07 AM
80

👆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 06:35 AM
78

I went through a shorter version of this, happened over the course of a conversation Told him I needed space. He got sad and upset. I comforted him, worried I'd really hurt him and I didn't have the right to, he flipped it on me and then suddenly he was the one who needed space. I should have stuck to my guns and walked and not been baited. Now we know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 03:50 PM
6

I used to be into it and its because I was basically only valued when I was useful to other people, especially when I was letting my boundaries get walked over.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 06:32 AM
5

Christ.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 02:40 AM
15

Co opting a movement as an excuse to shame women. Cool. Like yes we should all be doing our part but who puts it on their dating profile to seem woke? Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 02:55 AM
8

I'm sorry he did that to you. Thanks for the info.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 01:47 AM
20

Push pull, lovebombing, negging.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 08:49 PM
10

I think people suggest waiting in the case that it's your best option. I think you leaving now, rather than staying with someone who says you were deserving of poor behavior is ok.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 05:25 PM
2

God but they don't walk. They hover awkwardly hoping you cave. Even after you tell them to fucking go already.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 06:12 AM
38

Them: NOT ALL MEN !!!! Me: you're right, Lundy Bancroft would never do this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 06:07 AM
22

He could have kids your age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 10:54 PM
30

The whole thing was about him. He was crying about the affair and expecting her to fix it, got upset when she admitted she didn't know how. She can't fix your decisions, asshole. You're upset that she won't take responsibility for you while saying you'll do anything for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 10:52 PM
43

"my hand slipped"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 10:45 PM
6

You can't hold your life up for someone but especially not when they don't want you to. He can't outright break up. He's stringing you along.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 10:41 PM
10

Ghost him. All the times guys pushed for my number and I gave it they ghosted immediately after. Why does he need your number? It's not like he's planning on deleting the app. And pushing you is disrespectful. Ghost.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 10:35 PM
44

He was only 2 years younger than you are now, when you were born.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 10:32 PM
6

Oh also he used to mutter under his breath like "what are you" and "you're an angel" but not in like a cute way like in an annoyed way. I felt often... I don't know how to describe it, like I was in danger and then suddenly I'd say or do something that shifted the energy. And I think it was God somehow intervening. I remember feeling that way one night he realized my roommate wasn't home and we were alone. The way he said it was low and predatory. Then I said something about being used to being …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 06:11 PM
9

Yes. And this is going to sound crazy but I felt like I was being warned by God to leave via several things that were somewhat in my control and some not. So much so he started joking I was cursed. But in addition yes I felt when we started out I was jovial and he was moody and by the end I was a shell around him, constantly trying to dodge him weird shit, and he had energy and wanted to draw more out. I developed body pain, which I now realize was just a stress response where I'd tense up aroun…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 06:04 PM
18

Right? I read about dread game like... Yeah telling a girl you're gonna cheat on her if she doesn't do what you want is game over, bud.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 06:47 AM
2

If you want to ghost, ghost. You don't owe him anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 06:43 AM
7

If you want to ghost him, ghost him. You don't owe him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 06:40 AM
19

He. Knew. What. He. Was. Doing. The. Whole. Way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 06:33 AM
108

I feel so bad for her because her brain has been totally fucked with and she's oxytocin bonded to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 05:46 AM
13

Was he worried something would happen to you or did he just not want to be left alone?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 01:41 AM
31

Lol what. Imagine being that insecure over 30 minutes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 01:18 AM
15

His posture is, frankly, triggering. I didn't realize til now lvm had a common stance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 10:40 PM
14

Imagine her asking if they could have a 3way with one of his friends and if she could watch his friend fuck his ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 09:58 PM
12

Why would you broadcast how emotionally abusive you are. He also clearly left out parts. She seems to get angry seemingly out of thin air.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 09:56 PM
30

The only reason I'm an empathy is I needed to learn to detect and manage my family's abuse from birth. Empathy is just an abused person who learned coping mechanisms for survival that don't benefit after they've escaped. I kept seeking out abusers unintentionally and I learned to manage my behavior. But it's not my fault... Like I didn't cause the problem but I fixed it. But yeah blaming women for enabling abuse and then holding them responsible is lazy and evil. But when is victim blaming new?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 09:47 PM
11

It depends on the sex. A lot of erotica is coercive and just as bad as porn. But if it's loving, and a good example of the sex I want, I like it. But did he kidnap her and manipulate the sex from her? Nope nope nope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 05:00 PM
17

It really depends because some men will throw a fit if you hesitate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 04:56 PM
5

This. This. This. Basically play dead or treat them like they don't exist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 02:11 AM
41

Feel like a dude wrote this but I'm glad in this fantasy he got dumped.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 02:08 AM
20

Men shame each other harshly for appealing to women and women don't do that to each other. Men does anything nice for women? Simp. Man hangs out with his partner instead of the guys? Pussy whipped. Bros before hoes. Ect. Basically men are pussy whipped by other men. There's no female equivalent of these things because women aren't as needy as a dude who's guy friend chose a woman's company over his when sex isn't even in play.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 05:24 PM
16

It seems like he's dating her to try and impress his guy friends which... Why you trying to impress dudes. Ew
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 05:19 PM
26

I don't understand why men stay with women they disrespect this much. If I had a partner who i considered my """slave""" I'd be too disgusted with them to want to be with them. love the female use of simp. That's some projection right there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 05:07 PM
8

I would say something simple like you don't have time for it and you've had a nice time but you're not up for talking any more. Women are made to feel like they owe men time and attention and you don't. Even if he lived near you and you saw him regularly in person you still don't owe him anything. Just be polite and truthful: you don't want to talk to him. It's not personal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 05:04 PM
33

He used the code word like a coward.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 03:35 PM
52

The audacity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 03:27 AM
12

Pity plays make my body dry up and die.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 02:46 AM
2

Nah, he'll still find a way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 02:45 AM
19

Too real.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 02:45 AM
7

We dated the same guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 09:42 PM
21

Take the dog and go
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 09:41 PM
26

Yeah, I'd literally rather kill myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 09:39 PM
1

He looks cute but his profile photo is so embarrassing it ruins it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 09:38 PM
2

Hell yeah!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 05:24 PM
81

This is a copy pasta they use. Imagine being a dude, somehow seeing this on another dudes profile, assuming it works and copying it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 05:18 PM
18

Imagine if women said this but about the things men claim women are looking for "looking to be taken out by three men must all be 6'4 and jacked I want a pony and to be fed chocolate while I wear no makeup and unattractive pajamas I'm 500+ lbs and a single mom of 50 kids from different men and I'm 31" They'd lose their fucking minds.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 05:14 PM
3

Imagine remembering someone you matched 4 years ago? And then reaching out?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 05:03 PM
16

I mean he sounds like he's a hair away from it... His "all this while I was thinking I missed a good opportunity" reeks of "but now I know you're not a good opportunity" but yes slightly better than "well you're a gross never mind!!!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 05:02 PM
3

Imagine being this person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 04:59 PM
2

Thank you for this info.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 04:54 PM
37

Right? It wasn't creepy until he said it wasn't creepy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 02:45 AM
3

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 02:32 AM
202

"cause there are no attractive men who are her age" yes a tragedy, I agree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 11:17 PM
58

I don't understand being proud of this. You're basically like "I don't do enough and I don't care who knows it"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 07:07 PM
26

I needed this, thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 07:05 PM
73

Even in my pick me days I wouldn't have accepted that. I wouldn't be able to respect someone who's that annoyed with me but also doesn't leave. It either means they don't respect themselves or they're making up how annoying I am to be abusive and have an excuse to act that way towards me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 05:07 PM
3

Yep. Bad look to cancel a first date. It especially sounds like it was short notice too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 04:33 PM
6

To be fair I don't think you really did anything """wrong""" as far as you and him are concerned. He really should have managed his time better from the get go without you having to tell him. This is more about leaving to protect your own energy for your own sake. Getting mad is exhausting and is always a reaction to something he's already done, so it can't fix it. It's better to just step away when dudes fuck up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 04:26 PM
1

Now you know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 04:24 PM
5

There's a girl who's listed as in a relationship but not tagged with who who posts on his stuff a lot who he ignores. That's his girlfriend he doesn't want you to know about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 03:43 PM
2

This. And plus it's kinda more honest. The only reason you would want to attack him is because you were hurt. So save yourself the anger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 03:31 PM
16

Yeah.... It's sounds like a test, tbh. "I'm bad at planning, how often will you change yourself around wonderful me? Oh ... You... Won't? Well fuck you then!!!!!!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 03:27 PM
59

This is emotional abuse. He's telling you you aren't good enough you basically accept it and make distance but then he wants you back. He probably does like you but he doesn't like that you're confident and he's trying to make you compare yourself to an imaginary standard. Block him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 03:22 PM
16

I'd say either ask her not to talk about her exploits or if she does just look bored and don't respond or say anything. Don't worry about changing her, she needs to do that on her own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 03:20 PM
62

I basically have up trying to date women when I was on old because every woman was in a relationship looking for a 3rd or in a relationship with a man but basically needing an emotional support girlfriend because her boyfriend clearly wasn't meeting her needs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 02:59 PM
24

I don't understand what's happening here. Why would women pretend to be sad about a guy? Can you give an example?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 12:54 AM
18

N O P E
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 12:49 AM
19

A lot of FDS doesn't make sense until you experience it yourself and connect the dots. So don't beat yourself up. I was once in the place of a bunch of people (gently) screaming at me "love yourself!!!!" And I basically also gave an ultimatum that he ignored. But now that I experienced that I know better for the future. The person for me will never get to that point in the first place anyway. Onwards and upwards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 09:19 PM
16

I dated a guy who was very good looking and had always been. But he never dated until college and I could tell he was Mad about it. And what's weird is I had never dated anyone, never been missed before him and I was in my late 20s and I harbored no feelings about it one way or another. And he still tried to make it a weird competition that he was owed something. And I remember multiple times being like "okay but I was arguably more 'ignored' than you and I'm not mad at anyone for it?" And his a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 06:28 PM
1

It's easy to want to go back to the place that hurt you to get healed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 06:04 PM
4

The only times I've ever told him I liked him was because of him flirting and me not being able to get away. Ie classmate, co worker. And I wanted him to either ask me out or shut the fuck up. And every time I asked the guy said no. I accepted it and let myself not get emotionally involved. Only for the dude to continue to hit on me, even one telling me he wanted to kiss me. So no I'm not gonna ask dudes out. Too many dudes have been weird and unclear. I'd rather be asked out so I know for sure …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 05:49 PM
1

Yeah I picked up on the unwillingness to let go of...I forget the phrase but persona management. But you can't force someone to let that go. Better to let them keep trying but until they tire themselves out.
/r/ExRedPill25/05/20 05:18 PM
2

Trick! Woops
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 05:13 PM
13

Neat truck, huh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 05:44 AM
58

Now you know. Just block next time. Basically men have audacity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 05:16 AM
16

Have confident stance and don't seem afraid. Men are more likely to assault women who seem afraid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 03:26 AM
2

Your comments read like a dude. Could be wrong but. You also comment on posts of people posting nudes, so you're not even following your own rules here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 03:20 AM
3

I'm not gonna shame women that's fucked. I'm going to turn away from anything that they promote but I'm not going to spend time shaming them. Nor do I want to. I will try to let them know they deserve better. But if she can't see it for herself, I can't force her to see it. Shaming her won't do any good! If anything it teaches her to listen to people shaming her and men are way better at Shaming than women are. So you're just priming her for abuse. I think the best thing to do is not associate w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 03:18 AM
4

Can you give an example of what is making you anxious?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 08:04 PM
5

I wish I knew about this when we were dating so I could have sent it to him. But he would have probably gotten pissed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 08:00 PM
28

It reminded me of something 12yo me did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 07:45 PM
42

I'm confused is this a recording of a larger video? Why post a video where you tell your spouse not to touch you? I feel like that needs to be a private conversation not something you bring up during a video you're going to post for millions of people?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 06:35 PM
97

G o d. The three times I didn't text him back within an hour I "accidentally" received a text meant for someone else. It was so obvious what was happening but I felt so proud that he was trying to make me jealous for not texting him back so soon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 06:33 PM
31

My fave is like ... He really could have avoided most of this. He caused his own problems.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 06:02 PM
81

The person being cheated on can't fix the person cheating. Sounds like you did a lot of work and he probably didn't. Sorry he did that to you. I'm glad you're free.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 05:26 PM
2

Lol checkmate
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 06:27 AM
15

Even if it's not meant to be abusive it still ends up the enforcing abuse. Example: guy wants a partner who will do xyz but will respect her boundaries if she doesn't. But he will not stay in a BDSM relationship with someone who doesn't fulfill what he wants from the relationship. So he leaves her. She then learns that when you don't want to or are unable to fulfill his wants he leaves. In the best case scenario the woman doesn't get hurt by it and accepts it but worse case she lowers her standa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 06:21 AM
18

: (
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 04:42 AM
18

There's optimism and there's denying reality because you don't want to deal with it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 04:02 AM
7

You should and I can't explain why without giving lurkers ideas.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 01:24 AM
5

You didn't block out his number in the photo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 01:16 AM
10

This seems intentional AF. It's fine if a guy is courting other women but if he's this incompetent about keeping the women straight then he's either an idiot or he's doing it on purpose to make you jealous. Either way, it's a distinction without a difference.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 01:15 AM
36

It's very rare that I wear makeup and usually the comment I get when I do is "oh are you trying to impress someone" or "you look better without makeup" but this could be because I'm not great at it, or because people don't like change. Same people who tell me they don't like it also don't like when I wear contacts. I think just because it's different.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 01:12 AM
2

Home husband who needs a babysitter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 12:23 AM
12

What you explained from what I know from my own and friends experience is normal for OLD. The only friends who had slightly different were ones just looking for hook ups and even then it still happened and came with other consequences/upsetting dude behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 11:52 PM
10

Personally I don't bother with "I don't know yet" you should ask him asap what that means.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 11:45 PM
34

Break up? He sounds manipulative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 11:41 PM
2

You don't need to figure out why. He fucked with your feelings, intentionally or not doesn't matter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 06:05 PM
40

I've experienced this. I think some guys can't see women they respect as sexual partners do the more you prove you know, especially if you know more than them, they get weird.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 05:42 PM
2

I wouldn't shame her. The goal really isn't to manipulate her. It's to do what you're comfortable with doing for yourself (keeping your energy safe from this fuck) and hoping that she realizes the strong people in her life don't like him and the weak people do. If she doesn't it's a shame but she has to learn on her own or else she'll never know how to figure out what she wants.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 05:35 PM
4

It's sort of how feminism even gets co opted. Anything can and will be used against women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 04:05 AM
2

I fell for DARVO so easily until I was 28 and noticed the pattern and did research. It's so easy. I am easily bullied and scolded because I'm so afraid of hurting someone's feeling or being in the wrong. Because I am very honest I assume that others come from that same mindset. It took a long time to realize that no one who's good would talk to another person the way he did. I ended up watching past the part I stopped at and his random comment "did you put on weight" just confirmed all my suspic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 04:00 AM
50

This has always been a default for me. If I find out a guy I like has a crush on someone else/dating/married I lose interest. If my crush tries to make me jealous I lose interest and get disgusted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 03:56 AM
3

I could only watch up to "and try not to ruin the next one" Paraphrasing but it basically seemed like he was over valuing himself, saying vague things to make her feel bad, when she didn't reply in a way that seemed like she cared he'd switch to another tactic. First he tried to lie about the other girl. Then when she didn't care he acted like he lived the other girl more. Then when she didn't care he acted like he did live her, but she didn't love him back. She didn't care. Then he tried to act…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 03:45 AM
2

Love w good Lundy shout out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 01:18 AM
21

Does he not work?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 01:16 AM
31

"why is _" "I'm 32" Not what she asked. You know why it's not in his profile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 11:11 PM
11

A bunch of positive comments being down voted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 11:10 PM
49

18 and 22 is a big gap. That's a college sr and a hs Sr.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 10:36 PM
72

He "taught her" that marriage and children are bad. So yeah he's taught her to disregard her own desires as not being "logical" I'm sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 10:36 PM
137

It was probably her first relationship and women have been conditioned to see romantic stuff as unrealistic. I could easily see this happening. I hope she smarts up soon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 10:10 PM
104

I would say remove yourself whenever he's around. You can't change her but she may notice that people disappear around him and she may connect the dots, or find people who are willing to be her cheerleader. Either way it's not your responsibility, although I understand the want for her to be with someone good for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 09:46 PM
21

She's so cute. Shame.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 09:43 PM
8

When I realized this was my problem it was a game changer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 09:30 PM
52

4 you aren't allowed to have any issues because I have a lot so you're gonna need to use all your energy on trying to Fix Me 3 I don't know how to talk to people but I will pretend it's because you're not worth investing in 2 I'm an idiot looking for someone to take responsibility for me. Also my dog needs someone to take care of them, too, because I certainly am not. 1 this is in response to the "if you do x I will brag about you" so I'm ok with it idk. Doesn't mean I will cook for you or rub y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 09:20 PM
104

Who has the energy for this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 09:14 PM
212

I noticed guys would try to act like I was a slut or treat me like one and then they'd find out I've never had sex and suddenly it was a clear shift of like.... Panic like... Oh shut how do I control her now??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 09:10 PM
14

Spiteful baby yep
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 07:19 PM
35

Do what you're comfortable with and tell him. I can't have without it turning into a swollen itchy disaster but I'd be ok with trimming. You have to gage if it's something he's being a little controlling dick about or if he's willing to compromise. If he argues with you after you tell him your preference it's about control.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 07:18 PM
11

You aren't responsible for his feelings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 06:35 PM
22

He has issues with his dad that are hindering his relationships and he's not working to change it. I'd leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 06:22 PM
4

Right before quarantine I went to a wedding and after the groom's friends didn't help (all men) and the bride's side (mostly women and male partners of women) put stuff away. If someone is pretending they can't read the room That Hard it's better to assume they really can't and cut them loose. You don't want someone who you have to gently guide through life. I can't be there for him to tell him how to properly behave at work, or if I die. Better to find a competent man. Good for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 05:02 PM
2

Classic. Good for you. It's very tempting to see if it will go back to being normal. But yeah anyone who front loads that much attention has an agenda.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 04:52 PM
26

I'm in hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 04:22 PM
3

I think he was trying to imply that he intended to get back together with me. Like I think he was trying to keep me on the hook. He also was the one to break it off with me but kept flirting and telling me he had a hard time not kissing me, and then denied it when I brought it up. He said.... A lot of weird cryptic things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 03:36 PM
7

Oh God. Yeah. Mine just only used my name once until our very last conversation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 05:22 AM
-1

3 is cute. 5 is like... Dude you should know at this point you need therapy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 03:12 AM
14

A lot of guys do it so they don't end up calling you the wrong name as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 03:09 AM
11

I didn't realize it before but one guy who wanted me to beg for attention also used to like mumble weird things to himself. I would assume he was going it because he didn't want to talk about it and just brushed it off. But now that you say that I think he was trying to get me to ask. He had a bunch of weird little things he said but the weirdest, which he said a few times was "what if this is part of the long game" which he first told me the date after he asked to stop dating and be friends ins…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 03:06 AM
52

I like how they act like they did this with no emotion behind it. Like woops my hand slipped. Nah dude you're a bitter creep who's jealous that your gf is getting and giving attention. If you don't like it, break up with her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 06:27 PM
15

Classic projection. The only guy I dated more than two dates on OLD kept trying to find out if I was dating anyone else, despite us not being exclusive which we both agreed on. And despite the fact I was very open with him when I did go on other dates. Turned out he had a gf the whole time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 06:21 PM
5

Lol you're the second person with bunny in their user name to message me. Team bunny
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 06:19 PM
7

On paper my parents relationship sounds OK. They got married at 21 after 6 months. Were each other's firsts. Had kids late 30s. Still married. But my dad is narcissistic and my mom is co dependant. My dad gaslights and negs the shit out of her. Their house is literally falling apart because he's lazy garbage. She didn't want kids, he did, then when she had them he resented her for loving us "instead" of him. This is a man who made her feel alone and ignored for almost 20 years before kids and we…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 04:13 PM
3

As soon as you turn into Sherlock Holmes it's time to leave. I can guarantee you the answer won't be fulfilled. Also his needing to back up why the past needs to stay the past says he's hiding stuff. Don't waste any more time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 04:08 PM
57

Translation: if this kid treats my daughter better than I treat my wife I will look bad. Gotta lower that bar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 04:01 PM
29

The reason I've been told and that doesn't make sense to me is "to make sure you're who you say" Literally every guy who's asked me or straight up said they wanted to make sure I wasn't a catfish, was fatter older and balder than his profile photos. The last guy I talked to on old before jumping ship entirely pushed me for photos. I sent one with the date written on it even though I insisted all my profile photos had been taken the week before. He then sent me a photo of his cat in order to prov…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 03:47 PM
2

Yep. Bunny team
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 03:41 PM
5

These are all ways to get through it but isk how to stop it in the first place. I've been getting this attention since I was 11 and I think it just comes with being a woman around men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 06:08 AM
11

I don't know honestly. I have a natural reaction that I don't do intentionally where I basically mentally and emotionally disappear. This sometimes make men uncomfortable and they back off but not all. Like grayrock essentially. Do your best to not talk or if you do give flat dry responses. Stay in public spaces. Keep your phone close and unlocked. Ask people to call and talk to you on the phone until you are safe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 06:07 AM
2

Even if you do somehow get the most magical partner and children and parents and friends, you could still somehow end up alone, and you will need to be able to rely on yourself. It's also easier to find healthy people when you don't have anything manipulators can offer you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 01:28 AM
2

Don't answer calls or texts from unknown numbers just ignore. Every time you reply you're passing the ball back to him. Refuse to pick the ball up when he throws it and eventually he'll get bored.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 01:25 AM
3

Forgive yourself for all this and keep forgiving yourself. If you relapse or know you're going to relapse write out what you expect to happen in the best case scenario and then write down how you feel and what happened after. I am similar to you in that I have a few brief episodes of kink chatting online and shared photos. So I get it. But I realized pretty soon that it never gave me what I wanted. Usually it was like a dude not putting in the work. Me writing well written thought out stuff in e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 01:21 AM
11

Oh I know what you mean about acne. I dated a guy and developed shoulder pain and I wouldn't see him and it would start to go away. Then I'd see him and it came back. I started to realize the correlation but kept denying it. Then when I went NC it healed. I realized much later I was getting tense at things he said or did that scared me and I was unconsciously getting into a defense position. My anxiety and shoulder pain is like a canary in the coal mine. And it's only triggered by people who are…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 04:12 PM
3

Honestly, on the fence about Evans. But thanks for sharing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 04:07 PM
3

I liked a guy and was extremely attracted to him and he couldn't believe it because his hairline was thinning. I didn't understand at all and it broke my heart that he didn't see how good looking he was. His insecurities about his hair caused the issue. His actual hair didn't.
/r/ExRedPill19/05/20 04:35 AM
31

Basically realized the root of my anxiety and depression was putting up with bad behavior. Not just him but a string of people leading back to my parents. Made me realize I just didn't have to put up with it. My anxiety is basically gone except when I interact with people who are being shady.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 04:13 AM
142

I feel like I've had a hard time explaining why I'm ok being single and this is it. I like spending time alone and when I find people I want to spend time with I'm happy and upfront/vulnerable about it without being needy of their time (because I respect them). When it's clear that they aren't interested I let them go. And when it's clear they're playing games or there's clearly hesitancy, I let them go. Because I respect them and want them to take their decisions seriously. I'm happy to return …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 02:55 AM
19

Just lie to me, it's been a long day. (Congrats!!!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 02:25 AM
60

Grimes, please divorce Elon
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 02:18 AM
42

Thank you for posting the link. If you donate more than $25 they will match it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 01:23 AM
5

I know you want confirmation that it was them and not you. The truth is you're never really going to it it. Accept that the relationship didn't work. That being said in my experience, no. The guy I liked in hs became a drug addict later with a drug addict gf. The guy I liked from hs to early college is unemployed and has been for years. Another person I like I cut out entirely and no idea what they're doing now but if I had to guess, probably nothing. Another guy I know because of work and he ke…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 10:20 PM
15

Even if he didn't cheat he did something? That made you think he was, which means he must be acting strange. Either way, being cold shoulder isn't good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 10:09 PM
1

That's understandable. I don't have much more advice here but I hope things will work out for you. Continue putting in the work and you'll continue to see results.
/r/ExRedPill18/05/20 07:58 PM
2

I may be wrong on this but it seems like you're trying to get in the headspace of how people (women) perceive you in order to then change how you behave. That's logically understandable but women are going to have different opinions of you based on their own mental health/respect/many other factors you can't control. It's sorta exhausting constantly trying to move around another person's perception of you. I think it's better to just accept that some people will see you as weak, even when you ar…
/r/ExRedPill18/05/20 07:48 PM
1

I am also recovering mentally ill and I get it. I think personally at least the answer lies somewhere in letting go and trusting that I don't have to stay rigidly on top of things all the time and I acknowledge I'm not there yet. Other people seem to be able to forgive themselves more easily and something about that allows them to just Be. Which attracts others. This is just my theory atm no idea if it will work.
/r/ExRedPill18/05/20 07:37 PM
4

They want to be needed and being told that women may not even be considering men makes them confront the idea that women may be scarce. That scares them. They should just shrug it off and remember that there are plenty of women who are open to relationships. But having standards is a threat. Just ignore it TBH. You don't have to prove anything to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 07:32 PM
0

Dork is fine if you're comfortable with it and it doesn't turn into harsher jokes. The thing about buying drinks seems like a test.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 07:27 PM
1

Try not to see other people's actions as a reflection of who you are, but instead as who they are. The shitty things they did suck! And they didn't happen because you deserved them. She's going to do this pretty much to every guy, or at least try. If someone treats you badly, see it as a sign that they have issues and walk. It sounds like you have a lot of mental health and self esteem issues you need to work on. It's easy for shitty people to exploit these issues. Take the time to yourself and …
/r/ExRedPill18/05/20 07:04 PM
4

I feel like people who are hyper focusing on every interaction come off as strange. It makes them seem more... Needy? Than someone who's just going through life. Someone who's actually self assured would simply take or leave something, and not need to mold it into something else. It's a weird need for validation while also claiming they don't need validation.
/r/ExRedPill18/05/20 06:48 PM
4

Didn't have my first kiss til 28. The guy didn't mind. The only guys who will mind are ones who see it as a barrier. But those guys aren't going to take you seriously because they just want a hookup.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 01:01 AM
6

Thanks for drawing attention to this. I feel like how I grew up secrets were normal and so secrets in a relationship made sense to me but seeing this I'm like wait a second. It really isn't normal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 06:03 PM
3

I couldn't read this all as it was too upsetting but yes that's coercion. Even if he stopped after. He still coerced you to start even if he didn't coerce you to finish.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 05:20 PM
5

The woman clutching her pearls after she said that and looking around like "me?" Is me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 04:23 PM
50

"I want you to beg" Eyes him up and down"...for what?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 03:56 PM
4

Reading this made me feel good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 03:46 PM
5

I have a lot of guy friends. Whenever they start dating someone I am careful to stop touching them almost entirely. Even if she's not around. I don't flirt with them. If I do I may jokingly flirt with the girlfriend instead so she knows it's not serious. Basically I respect all the boundaries I would expect to be held if the tables were turned. I also do not let the guys break the boundaries. I've had a not so close guy friend out his hand on my thigh while he brought the girl he was dating over…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 05:47 PM
49

For mother's day I visited my family who made fun of me for changing my diet this year due to health issues. Called me sEnSitIVe I then proceeded to break out in hives. They then ignored me, refusing to address it. "Sensitive" is a manipulation tactic to stop you from advocating for yourself/guilt you out of advocating for yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 02:28 AM
4

I think there's an unspoken idea that if a woman is hot and fuckable, men will make an effort to keep her. But I really think it's the opposite. The more I read here the more I see that cool girls get the short end of the stick. Even men think this way. They wait for the girl hot enough to motivate them into being a good man. And every girl seems to never measure up. Imagine saying "if you give me this car right now I swear I'll work hard to pay for it!" The person who then gets the car has it. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 02:20 AM
1

If your anxiety is bad enough that you're outsourcing I would talk with a therapist. They won't lie to you like a partner or friend would. Learn to trust your judgement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 02:11 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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