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Vintage-Card-Man Archive

View 4 posts and 58 comments by Vintage-Card-Man on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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7

I go back-and-forth on this. I could give a different answer next week but today I say get the test. You never know when it might make a difference when it comes to healthcare. However, the real reason you want the test is because if he isn’t yours, it will validate your thoughts that she was unfaithful from the beginning. In your mind, this will bring you some closure. And it might. If the very likely outcome is just getting confirmation that he is yours, and having to make these decisions is a…
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/26 06:03 PM
2

Very similar situation for me. Clear documentation showing custody of the funds saved my butt.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/26 06:51 PM
2

I was able to get my down payment back that was from premarital funds. It was taken first, then the balance split 50/50. It didn’t account for inflation or anything but it was tens of thousands of dollars. You have to have the paper trail and in my case the funds were never commingled. They came from my savings to the closing, never having been in a joint account. Now, that wasn’t planned or anything. I suppose I was lucky, but I was not budging on giving up half that downpayment. It became the …
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/26 06:50 PM
5

Do not move your stuff into the office. At least not until you speak with your attorney. Don’t do anything out of the ordinary. Learn from my mistake on this, do everything your attorney says down to the letter. I’m not saying they are always right. If you have doubts, don’t go against them, consult another attorney and switch if necessary. You should trust your attorney 100% and if you don’t, they shouldn’t be your attorney. My mistake was not switching attorneys sooner. I don’t know the law, b…
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 03:09 AM
6

It’s something people say when they come to the realization that so many things are out of their control, but they cannot accept it.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 12:04 AM
17

This has to be rage bait. Right??
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 12:02 PM
14

I think if there are kids involved, it makes great sense for the woman to keep the name. It’s just a reality of life, schools, hospitals, and doctors, it just makes things easier to have the same last name. Or if the woman has built a professional reputation under the married name. I think if I ever remarried, I would almost prefer my wife, not even take my last name at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 01:28 PM
2

I do think that’s a problem but 95% seems a bit too high.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 01:28 AM
2

This is risky, I’m not an attorney, it’s just a thought. If you feel this is fraudulent, stop paying her. Make her take you to court and prove it. Again, this could completely backfire and you could get in a ton of trouble. But it would certainly be something I would consider.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 07:24 PM
10

This made me check the account profile. One day old. Can someone kick this asshat out? I made an error in judgment because the username seemed like something that would’ve been taken years ago if available, and replied. 100% on me.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 03:05 AM
2

That is very fair. And I think if you are in a bad relationship, especially one with a lot of conflict, staying for the kids so you can see them would be a very selfish thing to do. But just because a wife treats her husband badly or doesn’t give them the affection that they want to crave, doesn’t necessarily mean that the household is in chaos. I suffered in silence for a long time. When it started to spill over and become more exposed to my kids, I started working on an exit plan. I wish I cou…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 02:19 AM
12

Respectfully, you might want to stick with women clients. You are reading these men entirely wrong. Like comments before me and probably every comment after me, I stayed for one and one reason only: my kids. I could not imagine a world with every other weekend. When I say that, I don’t mean it as an expression. I mean it as a reality. That type of arrangement would have completely broken me. So I stayed. I could not care less about a sense of honor or looking like the bad guy. We are almost alwa…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 01:38 AM
7

Ouch. Been exactly there. Almost identical really. I don’t want to be an alarm or negative, but that was the first thing I realized she completely lied about. From my experience, all she cared about was being the first to be seen with someone new. It shows it was her decision, others will tell her how inspiring she is, etc. The best advice anyone ever gave me what’s the remember she no longer cared about my best interest, so why should I care about hers? Don’t do anything illegal or anything lik…
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 05:22 PM
1

OP is clearly AI.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 02:00 PM
1

I said I wasn’t gonna respond again, but I can’t let this one thing stand. Why do you think you get to lead the relationship? You don’t. The days of Hunter gathers are over. Society has evolved. You are not the leader because you have a penis. A relationship needs to be a joint effort if it’s going to be successful. There is no one person leading it.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 09:32 PM
7

The loyalty savings account is a great analogy. It all falls under covert contracts. That’s where I failed the most in the beginning of my divorce process. In my mind, I did everything right. I worked hard, I took care of everything. I gave her everything she ever wanted. In return, she should love me. That was my expectation. I never said it aloud or made my expectations known. In my mind, it was a given. Practically common sense! I’m doing all of this, so you should appreciate and love me back…
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 09:26 PM
1

Then fine, I guess I’m insulting him. Fine by me. Toxic behavior deserves to be called out. I’m so tired of being nice to people who don’t deserve it. Whether it’s a racist Maga or an entitled prick incel, we have become polite to the point that we allow these people to take over. No more just trying to get along. No more appeasing bad people. I’m bowing out here, but I caution people who come here looking for advice: don’t fall into this trap that you deserve something because you’re a man. It …
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 09:07 PM
4

This whole “a man leads” and “relinquished your leadership” toxicity is exactly why so many men turn this forum into an echo chamber. It’s why so many men feel less than. It’s why so many men feel they have failed. I am proud to be a man. In the same way I am proud to be a human, I am proud to be a mammal, I am proud to live on earth. The sooner you realize that being a man isn’t special, it doesn’t make you a leader, it does absolutely nothing by itself, the happier you will be. You are entitle…
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 08:39 PM
2

Your last sentence is something that every man going through a divorce needs to write on his mirror. You nailed it.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 08:03 PM
5

This is incredibly wrong. “Relinquished your leadership as a man”??? GTFOH This is Andrew Tate, incel type mentality. If you listen to this guy, you will never be happy. Women aren’t the enemy. Courts aren’t the enemy. So many men here don’t understand that they are their own worst enemy. I say this as someone who divorced last year, who has primary custody of all four kids, even though my ex-wife is a school teacher. I live in a southern Bible Belt state that historically doesn’t treat men the …
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 07:59 PM
7

Yes, you need an attorney. I recommend you learn from my mistake and do NOT hire Cordell and Cordell.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/25 08:11 PM
3

Please stay away from Cordell and Cordell. I wish I had researched them better. Second worst decision of my life.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 03:11 AM
2

I know lawyers are awful but you must really hate them if you want this guy to hire one. Just reading this thread I almost feel bad for the attorney he eventually hires.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 09:08 PM
2

I am not one to discourage services from a company lightly. Unfortunately, my case was so poorly managed that I did the bulk of the work myself. I need to do a proper review and document just how terrible they were. And then at the end, they tried to drop me as a client right before the settlement was complete. It was surreal. My attorney even quit the firm, her last day was the day after my final hearing. In fact, both of my attorneys left the firm during my case. So while I was very displeased…
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 10:37 PM
1

Yes, Cordell and Cordell. They are truly awful.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 08:44 PM
2

Not Cordell though!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 07:04 PM
6

Hell yeah! You're at 12 days with overnights? You are already doing better than most guys ever do. Keep doing what you're doing until you get to 50/50. And to be clear, it doesn't matter if she's hurting inside. If you want to secretly relish that a little, go for it. No judgment here. But don't let that be what motivates you. There's nothing wrong with hoping that she gets what she deserves, but you need to be prepared for that never happening. The things that push you forward should be the thi…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 01:08 PM
11

Dude, I understand this more than I can ever explain. Here I am 2 years later and my life is awesome, I'm in the best shape of my life as cliche as that sounds, I have my kids 12 out of 14 days, work is going great. I'm literally in the best place I could be. And yet, sometimes I still get angry that she is doing okay as well. Her okay is different than my okay. She's reliant on another guy and clearly has more mental health issues that I realized, but she still hasn't got what she truly deserve…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 12:59 PM
26

Don't pay any attention to the stupid beta talk. Sometimes the men here are just as toxic as the women we are getting away from. I've been where you are. Nothing any of us can say will make you feel better or make you look at things differently. It's easy to say don't care and move on, it's next to impossible to actually operationalize that. I will tell you what I learned making it to the other side: She isn't doing this with you in mind at all. As you guessed, it's not to make you jealous. She …
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 12:51 PM
4

You are not sorry but you are wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 11:13 AM
3

You are 100% correct. He should have considered all these things. There is no excuse. All I can say is that his head isn't screwed on straight right now. You can't fix that. It's not your responsibility to fix him. It sounds like you are ready for something serious right now, I would recommend looking only at fully divorced men going forward.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/25 10:11 PM
3

For everyone's sake, cut contact. He's not remotely ready to date even if he lived alone.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/25 09:22 PM
1

I did. Unfortunately I think it's more common than either of us realized coming into this. It's a dirty trick that they can do after taking the majority of your money for the easy work. Legally you have options but at the end of the day you really don't. Your best bet is to find an attorney via word of mouth, someone you trust. I'm sorry you are going through this. I know first hand how bad it sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 07:11 PM
1

Is this Cordell and Cordell?
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 06:53 PM
7

I was in your shoes about 10 years ago. I stayed and I want to tell you that it was the biggest mistake of my life. I stayed because of the kids. Still, wrong decision. Today I am happily divorced, have custody of the kids and she is shacked up with her affair partner. My divorce cost me tens of thousands of dollars. If I had just held firm on the domestic violence I could have gotten out much cheaper and sooner. I hate to tell you this, but it's not going to get better. She's not going to chang…
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/25 07:58 PM
1

I agree but choose the men's focused attorney carefully. Slick commercials mean nothing. Get a referral from someone you know or at least a friend of a friend. This is a huge decision, not one you should make based on marketing.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/25 03:20 AM
6

And this, gentlemen, is why we say no to drugs.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/24 01:41 AM
-7

You and the OP are why men get such a bad rap. Jesus Christ, how can you twist the scenario into him being the victim? The mental gymnastics are almost impressive.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 01:07 PM
3

You need to spend an hour or so doing something completely unrelated to this situation. Read a book, go for a walk, or even play a video game. Then, I want you to come back and read your post again but imagine you were reading what someone else wrote. Hopefully it will sound utterly insane to you. If not, you need more space so you can view the situation from afar. I've been where you are, you make every excuse in the world for someone that you love. You overlook things that no sane person would…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 01:25 PM
10

I'm going to say it's better than being divorced at 42 with four kids.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 12:37 AM
7

Damn, I could have written this. I feel for you man. I think you hit the nail on the head with the can't be alone thing. I feel that way about my STB XW. And she's already in a very serious relationship, likely to move in with him soon, and we're not even close to being divorced yet. Sometimes I think they were together before, but it's very likely just that she cannot be alone. She cycles through best friends about one every 18 months. She becomes friends with somebody and talks about how the b…
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/24 11:55 PM
2

I'm going to disagree with most folks here. I would send a very short message the morning of, straight to the point. This is especially important if you have children. When it comes to kids, always do things that will reflect you in a good light. Courts don't want parents fighting and evidence that you're trying to be amicable is critical.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/24 08:13 PM
2

Following this one so I can benefit too.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 08:54 PM
1

Delete this post. Go back to your kids. Stop blaming anyone but yourself. Stop being a deadbeat.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/24 11:28 AM
3

Then break up with her. Nobody can have everything. And you're being told you have to pick and choose what you want. The mere fact that you're even considering which ones to select is insulting to most dads. Seriously. Most of us would drop that girlfriend without a second thought and focus on our kids. You need to wake up
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/24 06:53 PM
7

I don't think I've ever been so angry on Reddit as I am right now. This whole thread just infuriates me. The cliche of an absent father, giving up his children for a new life with his girlfriend and new baby.... This post is exactly the thing 99.999% of us are trying to fight. I'm embarrassed for you.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/24 05:35 PM
3

No you don't. You need to open your eyes, man. This woman is not good for you. Get your shit straight.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/24 05:31 PM
1

This. It may start that way, but I guarantee it won't end so.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 10:07 PM
5

I always heard this but didn't realize how bad it was. She has this one friend who is batshit crazy who keeps telling her to do things like change my contact information in her phone to something horrible, only for my kids to see it and get upset with her. But yet she blames me. It was this friend that I think really pushed her towards the divorce because she herself got divorced last year. And she is so bad off these days it's almost pathetic. My STB XW will be right behind her
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 08:00 PM
5

I wish you were right, but I do not believe that she is capable of that type of self-reflection.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 06:31 PM
5

ou allow her in your home? huh? what? she can wait outside and you can walk the kids out, she shouldn't be allowed i Some of the best advice I've ever received. I didn't realize they had co-parenting apps....looking into that now! Much appreciated!
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 06:19 PM
2

It will be! I should have divorced her after the CDV, but was stupid and tried to make things work so my family would stay intact. Meanwhile, she never really made an effort to improve. And she never took responsibility for hitting me. She still blames me and says that my mean words made her do it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 04:31 PM
6

I am literally counting down the days until we get divorced. The messed up thing is she knows I cannot date. If I do, then my grounds for adultery on her part become null. So she flaunts her relationship. It's all good though, I've been working on myself. I'm down over 30 pounds, getting in great shape and when the time comes I'll do just fine in the dating pool.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 04:23 PM
13

She's also told me three, yes THREE, times that she's going out of town this weekend and won't be available. I don't care. Her being available doesn't matter. I have the kids and have had them my weeks for a few months now without EVER needing her. She just wants me to know that she's going on vacation with her affair partner. And yes, my life is going to be so much better....eventually. But right now it is AWFUL.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 04:13 PM
3

Do not let pride stop you from cashing out. You have the advantage here. Negotiate, but keep it in your favor. I know it emotionally sucks right now, but you are in a better place than you realize. You got this.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 11:11 AM
4

I do week by week. We exchange every Sunday evening. It works well
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 02:04 AM
2

Record every conversation with her. My STBXW constantly made threats of calling the police and filing a false report just to get me arrested. I finally got her on audio saying it. I knew I wouldn't get every single time, but I felt good having that documented in case she ever did it in the future.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 10:58 PM
11

OP, whatever you do, don't listen to this Sea Purple moron. Trying to kill oneself because someone told them they didn't love them is insane. Most people say far worse in a fight. Your wife had an extreme reaction that is not your fault
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 11:13 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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