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Virtual_Ad9235 Archive

View 6 posts and 114 comments by Virtual_Ad9235 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

Nothing sad about this club! This subreddit was my therapy and if it wasn’t for its existence I would have bottled up all of my emotions and likely would have imploded into a deep hole. The circumstances are sh!t but I’m so grateful to have a place where I’m able to share my own thoughts and emotions with people who have been or are going through this journey.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/26 04:44 PM
5

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way and for the circumstances you’re dealing with. Unfortunately once she’s gone she’s gone for good. Women decide to leave months in advance and simply wait for the right moment for themselves to announce their decision, which is why you feel blindsided. The emotions you’re feeling are normal and you can expect it to feel like a roller coaster, waves of sadness, anger and betrayal, and a sense of no direction at times. Lean into this subreddit for support and venti…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/26 04:36 PM
5

Have you considered or do some sort of marriage counseling? If you and your wife are willing to salvage your marriage and there has been no infidelity, try it as a last chance. That said you are still very young and have the whole world in front of you!
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/26 03:35 AM
1

Or gets pregnant with the other guy’s baby that’s passed on as your child. I was in a relationship before my failed marriage with a woman who was always accusing me of cheating on her, after the relationship ended I learned that she cheated on me 3 different times. You deserve better than this, you’re still young to build a great life for yourself, you definitely will find someone who will fulfill you in your relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/26 01:39 AM
11

I’m sorry to say but I think she was hooking up way before telling you she’s finished. You deserve better than that, that’s an unfortunate circumstance and I wish you all the best moving forward
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 04:10 AM
2

It will come and go in waves, but it will get better. It’s hitting you hard because it’s become real. Allow yourself time to process the emotions and let it go, fill your free time with activities you enjoy, if you aren’t already, start working out and get active. Going forward make sure you protect yourself and your relationship with your children, and keep your boundaries set.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 04:05 AM
7

I’m a year in and I feel like the blood’s been sucked out of me by a vampire. It’s been unrelenting at times. I lean on the mantra ‘bent but not broken’, I’m pushing forward, sticking to the process of the hustle, keeping a level head and focusing on the positives. I’m not dating, after 15 years I’m enjoying my time alone, I workout regularly and otherwise fill my time with running and building my business. Good things are slowly starting to happen and opportunities will present themselves to re…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/26 12:37 AM
12

Sounds like you dodged a bullet, for someone to do that after two dates says a lot about her red flags, clearly.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 07:32 PM
10

It’s the age of social media’s emotional exploitation. Women always act in emotion which is why they initiate the majority of divorces. It’s a never ending what have you done for me lately saga. Then they see all the online BS and that just manipulates things further!
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 01:27 AM
2

Best thing to do is to focus on your own self interests brother, the funny thing is by doing this you’ll start to attract women that align with your own interests and values.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 12:18 AM
2

https://www.meetup.com/find/us--tx--houston/ This is an example, and there’s a Reddit thread for Houston as well. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 03:53 PM
3

Are you in a larger city? Try meetup groups or special interest events where you can meet like minded people, the shared interest is a great ice breaker at these gatherings.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 01:52 PM
6

Unfortunately women decide to move on several months before telling us they’re done. Which is why it feels like a blindside for us.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/26 02:46 PM
2

Man, I’m sure you had some hobbies or goals that you had to forego because you got married. You should revisit that list and rediscover the things you enjoyed doing or wanted to do, start filling your time with the productive stuff that will fulfill your time.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 03:36 AM
2

And when you do inevitably see her again, make eye contact, smile and nod, then pretend like she doesn’t exist. Don’t let these little things get to you or rob you of your confidence brother, you can and will find a woman worthy of your time.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 03:09 PM
8

You should go back to the lunch spot and don’t let it bother you!
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 12:47 AM
5

You’re a brave man with a gluttony for punishment!
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 01:36 PM
1

I like to attend special interest events, things like a business networking type of event, salsa dance lessons or whatever you want, the theme becomes the ice breaker for conversation and immediately we bond over a common interest, that makes it easier to connect. I live in a large urban setting, in the heart of one of the largest cities in North America (Toronto Canada) and there’s always something happening, most often free or a small entry fee to attend. Sites like meetup.com for example. I d…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 12:08 PM
2

Yes! Can’t stand it. Or the overhead selfies from above so you can’t tell how she really looks. To each their own in this, but it’s not for me.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 02:21 AM
4

You’re more experienced brother, the “love is blind” glasses are off after being in a relationship as serious marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 01:22 AM
12

I choose not to be on the apps. Every one of the women my age look like they’re old enough to be my mother (just turned 48), and it feels completely superficial. That and the filters and makeup is just a total catfish. I prefer meeting women in person and found the connection, companionship and intimacy so much better and enjoyable. I’m up front with my intentions and the women love the approach. Take your time to and put yourself first, you’ll find your way brother.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 01:20 AM
7

My ex told me on my birthday, my actual birthday, that she no longer wanted to live or be married with me last year. It was my birthday yesterday and the only thing I could think about was that very conversation. She called to wish me a happy birthday and encouraged me to “stay strong” and have a great time, the words felt hollow and empty. This group has been a massive therapeutic experience for me, to have a space that I can be free to share my thoughts and feelings with others who are in the …
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 10:04 PM
2

You didn’t fail her brother, you’ll find over time your relationship with your little girl will grow stronger than ever!
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 11:45 PM
1

You and your son will have a much greater relationship as you move forward with the next chapter in your life. That’s just it brother. The past twenty years are just a chapter, and you and your boy will be able to do the things freely. You’re definitely a good father for doing your part. She didn’t and clearly didn’t care about the consequences. Now you get to reap the fruits of your labour because you don’t have to pay her any alimony. You don’t have to live with any guilt about her life going …
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 07:02 PM
3

If you’re able to, take a solo trip. Columbia, Thailand, Brazil, Philippines. It helped me when I got separated. Change of sceneries and vibes will be good for you
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 03:16 AM
8

There’s no worse betrayal than the betrayal from the person who you give your life to. My friends think I’m jaded, but I’m complete numb to the idea of getting married again. It’s going to be a very long time before I ever get into a serious relationship again.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 03:40 PM
3

What you do now is none of her business. Sharing any updates on your dating life with the ex can create unnecessary tension and stress for you.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 12:56 AM
2

Agreed! I workout 4-6 times per week and for the most part eat very clean. That said I still have a lot of trouble sleeping well. Hopefully this will get better with time.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 05:22 PM
1

The only thing that’s kept my sanity in check has been exercise. It’s been the only meaningful and productive stress management tool for me.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 12:07 AM
4

I haven’t had a good night’s sleep since the ex left me. I toss and turn and I feel like I’m half awake all night long. I don’t think I get more than 3 hours of sleep a night.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 12:04 AM
9

I’m sorry for your situation. After reading your post, I think she was having an affair with the other guy before deciding to leave you and kept it secret after separating. Women check out months before finally ending a marriage which is why we’re left feeling blindsided by the news when she says it’s over.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 01:40 PM
4

What gets me is how they all think they know what the best course of action is, with no clue what it feels like to go through a divorce, they have no clue about what it’s like on the other side but full of opinions.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 12:43 AM
33

No betrayal is more painful than the one from the person you give your life to. The hardest part of rebuilding isn’t the financial side, it’s the rebuilding of trust to be vulnerable enough to give yourself wholly to someone again.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 07:59 PM
9

First of all, you’re not married to this woman so you’re not “trapped”. Don’t hold yourself hostage to try and save some money. If you’re not interested in marrying this woman, and from the sounds of things you’re not, don’t continue to lead her on either, it’ll only make things worse. You’re still young, just move out and move on with your life, don’t worry about the money that’s the least of your worries.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 04:17 PM
2

Like you I don’t have kids, so it was ok. For the record, I don’t lie about it, I just don’t bring it up, and I put the focus on her, more often than not they’re ok with it because there’s no kids involved and I have next to no contact with the ex.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 01:45 PM
5

When I started dating, I kept the divorce details to myself, and only shared it with women I connected with that I found myself getting close to. It’s none of their business until things get serious.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 01:39 PM
5

Rebuild your confidence in the gym. Exercise is a proven mindset boost and you’ll be in an environment where you will be able to meet people. If you’re in a community that’s more rural, find community initiatives that you’re interested in and volunteer your time. Meeting women organically will be a lot more rewarding, but you can try apps if you want to shake off the rust communicating with women, but also check for singles events in your area. Just stay true to yourself, and the biggest red fla…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 03:53 AM
1

First off, good for you! Nice to connect with a woman that resonates with you, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Secondly, there’s no right path or answer here, you do what feels best for you, and just have to be true to yourself. Enjoy the connection but try not to get too away from your needs and expectations.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 01:44 PM
1

Everyone deals with divorce differently, and there’s no one singular way of moving forward. One commonality that goes without saying is that you have to be true to yourself and your emotional and physical needs. Protect yourself from getting attached too quickly so you don’t get hurt if it doesn’t work out for you and V. Take your time and do you brother, dating in a big city can be tough but a lot of fun too!
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 08:34 PM
3

Agreed, 💯 Unfortunately she will always be the “other woman” in the eyes of everyone. Not just family but friends too. And honestly, I think you know that too, deep down. If she was the right one for you, you wouldn’t be asking for advice on how to proceed, it may be best to cut ties before you get even deeper and hurt yourself again.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 10:21 PM
3

Alive Pearl Jam
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/26 06:31 AM
1

Go to another gym. Fuck em all and your best revenge is your success
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 10:50 PM
2

My pleasure brother, keep moving forward and doing what you need to for your best life ahead of you!! All the best success in your endeavours
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 10:49 PM
2

Great post and thanks for sharing your story!
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 04:53 PM
2

💯!! The mind and body are intertwined
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 04:30 PM
2

💯!! None of my married friends have any idea of what it’s like on the other side, and hearing their opinions on something they can’t relate to is just taken with a grain of salt. They mean well but they can’t relate or understand what we’re going through. This thread has become my own support system for the very reason you mentioned, it’s a place where everyone can relate, despite the differences of our unique circumstances. It’s been therapeutic for me to share and listen, and learn. I apprecia…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 03:39 PM
4

At 31, you’re about to enter the beginning of your prime years, and you can shape the rest of your life into a more fulfilling one. Give yourself time to focus on yourself right now, personally professionally and financially. You still have a long and bright future ahead of you, set yourself up for your success!
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 04:25 AM
2

Men age like fine wine brother, as long as we take care of our bodies the mind will follow. We just need to keep focused on ourselves and our personal goals like you said earlier, it’s our game to play, and our life to live! For the guys reading this who feel stuck, just remember to put yourself, health and wealth first!
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 04:20 AM
2

Nothing to apologize for, I appreciate you taking time to respond and engage with me. I like those, you can add flourish, forward, fulfillment, freedom to the list!
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 04:13 AM
2

It’s the very double standard we as men have to face, now more than ever. That said, there are more lonely and single women than ever before, and that ratio will likely increase significantly over time, thanks to modern feminism. The world will never be the same as it was when our parents were younger, that traditional values of courtship is long gone.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 02:31 AM
2

I’m being sincere brother
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 02:24 AM
3

Thanks and I’m grateful to share. Discovering this thread has been a huge help for me, it feels like the only safe place I can share my thoughts with men going through the same motions as myself. I feel compelled to help others the way others helped me on here!
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 02:15 AM
1

My pleasure brother! I hope you get what you deserve out there!
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 02:12 AM
1

Would love to hear it! Please share the F word you’re thinking of!
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 02:10 AM
2

Agreed brother! A “package deal” is not what I’m looking for, and I would rather not lead a woman on for the sake of getting laid, it’s not what I’m seeking. To each their own though, I just advise our fellow men to proceed with caution! Get a piece but not at the expense of your peace!
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 02:10 AM
4

Yes! For me it’s the latter part, time and flexibility. That and the father (if they’re not a deadbeat) will always be in the picture. The dynamics are not something I want to be involved in.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 08:41 PM
5

Amen! This is the way to go, I’m just focused on my game and levelling up one day at a time! The biggest thing is staying focused on the big ticket tasks and positive habits, especially staying away from drinking and womanizing. That said, I don’t think I can ever be in a serious relationship with a single mother.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 08:31 PM
3

I bundled it into fitness, you need the right fuel for the fire! Clean eating and drinking all the way
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 08:26 PM
5

My father has a saying he drilled into my siblings and I since we were kids, I caught myself saying it to someone recently about where my head was at with things: Analyze. Focus. Execute
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 07:50 PM
4

I didn’t even answer your question though, did I find it beneficial? Absolutely, it was the best thing I could do, to detach myself from the daily routine of the situation plus business obligations, to really allow for a little bit of self discovery and a bit of a different perspective being in a different place. I highly recommend if you’re going to take a trip, don’t be afraid to go solo, that was extremely important. If you need to travel with someone, one more person is the maximum to travel…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 07:39 PM
6

I’m very fortunate to have a villa on the Mediterranean coast in a small country called Tunisia. I went in August and spent the majority of my time jogging, swimming and doing nothing but reflect on things and contemplate my future. On the I finished it off with two nights in Paris where I let loose and indulged in good wine and food, and got lost in the city walking around 30kms per day.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 06:55 PM
3

When I first got separated, I took a trip, I needed a change of scenery and the time away by myself helped me reflect and make my path clearer.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 05:50 PM
1

Some people may call her a companion
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 05:48 PM
1

It’s a network of community groups that are designed to provide people a platform to practice their networking, public speaking and social interaction skills. There are chapters all over the world, and can be accessed online or in person. https://www.toastmasters.org
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 05:13 PM
2

Would you ever consider getting involved with Toastmasters? It break the ice to get back out there but more importantly you can build social skills that you can use in your professional and personal life.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 05:07 PM
3

Start a business!
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 02:55 PM
2

Hey brother! Something that helped me break the cycle of drinking was doing the 75 Hard challenge. The goal is to go 75 straight days completing the following tasks every day without fail, and failing to do so means you start all over again: 2 45 minute workouts, one outdoors rain snow or shine, the workouts can be whatever you want, but they have to exert effort read 10 pages of a personal development book of your choice drink 4 litres of water follow a clean meal plan of your choice. No cheat …
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 11:27 PM
9

Hey brother, I wish you all the very best health, happiness and prosperity in your new chapter. I decided to do the 75 Hard challenge and was able to get through it in one go! Check out my profile if you’d like to see the experience and the results were fantastic for my mind and body. I’ve also travelled solo to Paris France and literally just wandered the streets with no aim other than to be with myself, the change of scenery in a beautiful city was really great to experience and doing so on my…
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 03:23 AM
2

They’re both cowards and afraid they will be seen as home wreckers, infidelity is a permanent stain and don’t want to be seen as such. I’m sorry for you but now you are free and deserve better, way better than what you were given my guy. Keep taking care of yourself and your kids and watch them hang from their own rope.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 10:29 PM
6

I got you brother!
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 04:35 AM
12

Lift your head up and know, though the rain keeps falling down, just know the sun won’t wash away. Wanted to share this with you brother. https://www.reddit.com/r/GrowthMindset/s/Calibfjr7G If you ever want to talk to someone, feel free to DM me. You’re amongst friends in this group.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 04:20 AM
5

Brother I’m sorry you had to go through this again. Life has taught me that trust is like a fresh sheet of paper, once crumpled it can never be brought back to its original place. Start by taking care of yourself and your interests, you deserve to be happy and fulfilled.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 02:59 PM
2

It may be best if you don’t meet up. If it’s important have a phone call, otherwise protect your peace!
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 05:56 PM
2

Exactly, it’s not that simple at all. Now’s the time to stay true to yourself
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 03:49 AM
1

I found it very convenient for everyone to talk about divorcing like it’s a cakewalk, especially from friends and family who have never been divorced! Sure they’re supportive and they take my side but truly they can’t and don’t relate to what we’re doing through. Take it with a grain of salt, but know they do come from a place of love and support, just not from a place of experience if they’ve never been through it themselves. I try not to talk about it with family and friends anymore, only on s…
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 10:05 PM
2

A lot of those dating threads are women posting thirst traps for their only fans. If you’re looking to meet and date, download a dating app like Bumble, even Facebook has a dating app now.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 01:38 AM
3

It’s normal to feel nervous when you’re dating for the first time after ending a very long monogamous marriage/relationship, regardless of the number of partners you’ve been intimate with. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself and let things happen naturally when you’re with a new partner, go with the flow. You’ll know if something’s acceptable or not in the moment. You seem to be a respectable gentleman, so you’ll be able to figure out what’s consensual and not as you’re connecting with someo…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 06:16 PM
2

Why are you going into something exclusive right now? I appreciate that you’re attracted to who you are but still, you may be dealing with rebound. Don’t get too rose coloured with your lenses!
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 05:47 AM
2

Brother it may not feel like it today but I promise you will bounce back and better than ever. You do need to give yourself time to digest things and you will get through it. Only you can decide when enough is enough and take control of your destiny. Based on your situation, She’s not right for you, she decided to leave months ago and blindsided you, while talking to another man. I’m hoping you don’t have kids together, because that would be the best thing for you right now, being child free so …
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 08:44 PM
2

That wall creeps up quickly for women! We’re like a fine wine and we get better with age! Trust me OP the brothers on this thread are all about supporting you and helping you find your best life!
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 01:23 AM
2

A-fkn-men brother! What was once a curse is now a gift! OP I hope you know that you have so much to look forward to ahead of you. Also, special shoutout to my brother Koskesh, who knows that Jendehs are a dime a dozen 😉 Dhametgham Digeh!
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 01:22 AM
6

Brother, at 35 you’re still entering the prime of your life. Don’t forget your goals and dreams, and remember what matters most to you. Please get professional help and support for your next steps in life. You’re not alone in this, and if there’s any solace know that this Reddit thread has been a great resource and support system for me as I navigated through the first few months of my separation. I get the impression this was a blindsided situation for you. Most of the men on here like you and …
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 01:14 AM
3

I promise you brother, you will be ok, and even better! You’re number one and if you have kids they’re number two, take care of your self first so you can be the best father you can be!
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 01:24 AM
9

My stbxw told me on my birthday, my actual birthday, that she no longer wanted to live with me. The day after was like a zombie for me, the first day of the end of my marriage was a fog, and I was in a daze. I went for a run that night and when I finished I laid out in the middle of the soccer field and just stared out at the sky. It was a clear night but not a lot of stars. As I stared out into the night, I thought to myself that I had two choices to interpret what I was looking at: 1- the empt…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 09:44 PM
4

Appreciate this! Wishing you all the very best health happiness and prosperity and peace! Go get what you deserve gents, it’s out there if you want it!
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 08:55 PM
1

I just finished a workout listening to ‘Alive’ by Pearl Jam. The best revenge is your success. Pearl Jam Alive
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 04:39 AM
3

It feels like a blur. Just focus on yourself and do something you enjoy. Doesn’t matter what you do
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 02:06 AM
2

The way I see it, if you’re confirmed on the path of divorce, you should do what’s best for you.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/25 11:53 PM
2

I love to travel, it’s something I try to do at least once a year. I had two nights in Paris to myself in September, I was traveling with my father for a couple of weeks prior to that, it was amazing bonding with the old man, it meant a great deal to be able to have meaningful unfiltered conversations with him. All the best to you and wishing you health happiness and success
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 07:03 PM
2

My pleasure brother, all the best health and happiness to you over the holiday season and new year
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 06:55 PM
3

My stbxw did the same thing to me, but stuck me with the two dogs. It’s been several months and I’m completely stuck in neutral trying to move ahead with my life. I had to give her an ultimatum to either take the dogs by the end of the year or I will have to rehome them . That was two weeks ago and I’m starting to think that she is going to abandon them with me. If you’re unable to rehome the dog I will say you should try to get her to take both. I’m stuck because I’ve grown attached to the dogs…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 05:04 AM
1

A woman who refuses to keep a clean house or even clean up after herself. A woman who orders takeout more than she cooks. Someone who complains all the time and makes excuses, no accountability or solution centric and always playing the victim. Gains a lot of weight post marriage and refuses to do anything about it (despite doctors orders), Withholds sex and resents you for being a fitness focused man, and fights you for wanting to eat more salad. Constantly trying to one up you or keep score on…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 04:57 AM
4

This happened to me once in a previous relationship, and I can attest the reason was there was another person. You deserve better. After 3 years of being cast aside you deserve so much better, and I sincerely wish you all the very best happiness, you deserve it. Sounds like you are a great father and family man. Put your heart and soul into your relationship with your kids, they deserve it more than your ex wife. It will be a very rewarding experience for you.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 04:35 AM
1

I appreciate that. I decided from the start to be forward focused, on fitness, work and family/friends and I have been working through it all. Unless I need to vent, I’ve been intentional to be more present and engaging with the surroundings, but those occasions are few and far between.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 01:04 AM
1

Appreciate you too, I’m glad I came across this subreddit. It’s shit to be here but it’s good to be among a fraternity of men who are going through the same issues to share and vent with. The lions share of my friends are married, and while they have been great supporters, it’s still hard to speak with them because they can’t relate.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 12:04 AM
2

Thank you! Believe me if I had a more predictable and stable schedule I would keep them, unfortunately I feel like I’m doing them an injustice because they’re so good and they deserve so much more than an hour outside and two meals a day. It’s very sad and frustrating and that’s why I feel trapped, because I want to give them a better life but I can’t do it without sacrificing my business and I can’t pay the bills with good intentions. They deserve better than that.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 11:56 PM
2

100% it will be better. I travel a fair bit, and I’m on the road a lot for work. Just wanted to add that I love the little guys, they’re amazing dogs and it’s completely unfair for them to be locked up at home all day, dog walker or not, and that’s my biggest concern, more so than anything else. They don’t deserve to be collateral damage
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 11:10 PM
4

I recommend reading the book “The Manipulated Man” by Esther Vilar. It’s an eye opener, despite being first published in the 1970s https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Manipulated_Man
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 11:04 PM
1

No there was definitely no infidelity in our marriage, neither her or myself, it was a completely monogamous marriage. But who knows what she’s doing now that she’s so far away (frankly I don’t care either way, I have moved past the emotional phase for the most part)
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 07:43 PM
3

Gentlemen, I wanted to share my feedback and experience dating and using apps since my stbxw left six months ago. I had decent success and was able to connect with several women. I wanted to shake off the rust of communicating with women in a romantic setting again so i didn’t want to put any expectations or pressure on myself. I was averaging about 3-4 likes per day, connected with about a dozen women and met 3 in person. Instead of uploading photos, I uploaded videos of myself doing the things…
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 03:58 AM
2

For two months straight I would leave my home early and wouldn’t come home until I knew she’d be passed out at around midnight. In hindsight it was exhausting, and if you’re going down the path of separating don’t delay things and set your boundaries immediately so she knows where you draw the line.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 03:21 AM
1

If she was she would have already flaunted it, but I don’t really care about that, I definitely have no interest whatsoever in reconciling with her anymore. But she needs to take ownership of the dogs.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 02:38 AM
2

Thanks for your advice. I gave the ex a deadline to get the dogs or I will have no choice but to rehome them. They’re so innocent and while they have been great companions, they deserve a much better home than what I can provide, even with walkers. She needs to own up to her end of the bargain
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 02:33 AM
3

They’re both rescues we adopted, truthfully Id feel really badly about surrendering them to a shelter again. I also told her from the very start of this that she needed to take the dogs because of the demands of my business, and that she benefits from the success of my work. I’m going to find a family that can take them both because they’re bonded.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 02:31 AM
3

I’m getting there, but the dogs are a constant reminder of my mistakes. I feel guilty because they’re such great guys, and they’re totally innocent, but I shouldn’t have taken them on. I think it’s more than the caretaking, it’s the fact that they were her dogs and I’m stuck with them while she ‘discovers’ herself that’s riling me up, and the fact that I feel like I’m being held hostage by the situation.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 02:27 AM
2

The era we are living in today is all about empowerment by delusion. I work so hard to provide a good life and the reward is a go fk yourself. I know I’m not the only guy who has been dealt this same hand before, but man does it feel like garbage when you’re told you’re not good enough. I’m not giving up on my goals and I know I’ll get there, just feels like I’m taking one step forward and two steps back right now.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 02:21 AM
1

It’s very hard to get a dog walker that the dogs can bond with. One of them is very anxious around people he doesn’t know and it’s very hard finding someone he’s comfortable with. I have to either rehome them or the ex has to take them
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 02:11 AM
2

I gave her a deadline for her to get the dogs, and if she doesn’t I have a couple of good homes to consider.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 02:09 AM
2

I feel you. We had a pregnancy false alarm and after she found it she wasn’t pregnant she started to withhold sex, I will never forget one time we got into an argument and I confronted her that she didn’t want to touch me and she told me she was disgusted by me for years. That was 4 years ago.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 02:07 AM
3

I feel like once I have a solution for the dogs I’ll be able to move forward. I love the little guys but I’m so overwhelmed by the matter. And with my ex being uncooperative and non committal about taking them has only added fuel to the fire
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 01:57 AM
3

I’m feeling alot of anger and it’s both towards her and myself. I’m especially angry with myself for not setting boundaries and being too nice with her about caring for the dogs, I should’ve known better.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 10:59 PM
3

Big time. I live in a condo, and the boys get an hour of outdoor time a day. It’s like they’re imprisoned, and on solitary confinement when I’m out for the day. They don’t deserve this life. Meanwhile she is not working and basically enjoying a vacation in a different city, too far detached to even help with them or share the responsibility of caring for them.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 10:57 PM
3

If I could care for them I would, but my business is not flexible enough for me to have pets. She knows it but chooses to be difficult whenever I bring it up. I never even wanted to get them to begin with, they were adopted for her sake! I blame myself for being too nice and trying to make her life easier when I should have been more selfish and focused on my own well being. I feel bitter and resentful towards her but I’m angry with myself.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 10:55 PM
3

I’m feeling like it’s one step forward two steps back right now, the dogs are great but I’m really feeling stuck because of them. I really want to be out there and working and putting my energy into the things that are going to reward productivity but I can’t because of these dogs. I don’t know what to do anymore
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 10:52 PM
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