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VisceralSardonic Archive

View 0 posts and 592 comments by VisceralSardonic on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Please get out of there. He has made it so that your whole world is HIS world right now, so anything you're considering or thinking about is going to be seen through the veil he's put over it. You deserve better, and you deserve to get out and find your self esteem and your intrinsic, authentic value. *You don't have to give a shit about one man's definition of you,* and you'll certainly be happier without finding the single corner of the internet that makes his illogic look logical. You know yo…
/r/ExRedPill30/07/26 02:00 AM
19

Men are given less room and range to feel certain emotions than women, and more room and range to feel others— mainly, of course, anger. In my experience as a therapist, no. There’s not a gender difference in who has more emotions. In terms of whose decisions are more ruled by their emotions, I’d like to give a shoutout to two types of people: Those who believe they’re not emotional and don’t have emotions that affect their decisions at all (yes you do, you’re just not acknowledging or aware of …
/r/ExRedPill25/06/26 11:36 PM
3

No problem! Good luck out there
/r/ExRedPill22/05/26 02:57 AM
3

I can appreciate that. You’re recognizing that it’s unhealthy, so let’s take it out of the redpill context for a second. Do you enjoy improving yourself? Are you doing it for yourself? Or are you trying to meet imaginary or hyped up expectations of others? Are you happy? Are you successful by your own terms or are you unhappy with what you’ve worked for? Worth is a philosophical, immeasurable concept, for what it’s worth. There’s equal amount of evidence for the idea that everyone has equal wort…
/r/ExRedPill22/05/26 02:03 AM
3

I’m not sure what you mean about the red pill working here. What about this is red pill? To me it seems like you worked towards your goals and feel a sense of accomplishment and have better self esteem because of it.
/r/ExRedPill22/05/26 01:34 AM
2

I know I’m a few days late to this, but the metaphor I use for this is like asking someone who has a picture of the taj mahal on their wall if that’s their dream house. Like… Jason Mamoa is pretty, I slow my scrolling when I see pictures of him, but I don’t actually want him in my life. If he asked me out, even if he offered to pay me to cheat on my partner, I would say no without any hesitation. We don’t choose partners just based on looks. If anyone does, they usually end up with a terrible re…
/r/ExRedPill22/05/26 01:32 AM
4

I’m proud of you for making the changes! Give it time and let the process itself be a reward too, because this whole transformation seems like a really great act of self-love. Good luck. I hope you have a success story to share very soon
/r/ExRedPill22/05/26 01:08 AM
9

I appreciate you sharing your perspective here. I get that it’s hard to feel like women can share enough of your experiences to understand you. I would be curious though— can anyone? No one but siblings can understand what it’s like to grow up in your house, and even your siblings have absolutely no idea what it’s like to be you. That extends to every category too. If someone isn’t extending some empathy and flexible openness to what you might be experiencing that’s not literally what’s in their…
/r/ExRedPill14/05/26 10:34 PM
10

Do you have access to therapy? I’m a therapist and I see a LOT of people these days coming to therapy wondering how to connect with people in real ways. Sometimes it helps to examine how you’re thinking about people and approaching them, and about what you want from friendships in general. You’re dealing with a cultural adjustment, with your friendships not really being rewarding, and you might be tired enough of the cycles that they’re feeding back into themselves at this point. We see what we …
/r/ExRedPill08/05/26 09:32 PM
47

Yes, and they’re the vast, vast majority of men. A redpill man saying “I’m the best you’re ever going to get and there are no options but me and worse versions of me” is like one of those lotion kiosk salesmen chasing you in the mall telling you that their lotion is the best in the world and nothing else will keep your skin from literally flaking off. He’s just desperately hoping that you’re not part of the 98% of people smart enough to walk away from what he’s selling. The real world has absolu…
/r/ExRedPill03/05/26 07:48 PM
2

Grad school makes you “masculine” and women are automatically hypergamous when they have any sense of self worth? Yeah, this guy is full of shit. I’d say he’s inventing his own rules, but he’s not even creative enough for that. He’s using whatever rules on the internet help him feel less insecure while transferring that low self worth to you. At this point, you basically need to treat his perspective as completely based on his own distorted image of himself. He’s creating “rules” where he feels …
/r/ExRedPill29/04/26 07:48 PM
3

Like I said, height definitely matters to some women. One of the many problems with the redpill ideology, though, is that it treats your chances of getting any woman as directly related to your chances of getting every woman. That’s a huge, huge flaw in the logic, because that’s not true at all. Treating dating like a zero sum game is like saying that one resume should be able to get you every job or that you should be able to write one paper to pass every class. That’s not even true for the bes…
/r/ExRedPill12/04/26 04:32 PM
6

16?!? Holy damn, dude! There is SO MUCH HOPE for you here. First of all, even apart from the fact that some boys still have growth spurts past 16, this is absolutely not a moment to be concerned. My first boyfriend and I had our first kisses at 16, dated for years, and last I knew, he had dated about four girls seriously after me and hooked up with a lot more. I think he's 5'5" or 5'6" and makes a medium income at best. He's doing abolsutely fine, as are multiple other short (and very not rich) …
/r/ExRedPill11/04/26 11:46 PM
8

Start blocking or muting creators who post on that kind of topic, because the algorithm will eventually get the message. It’s also helpful to replace the content with other things. Ideally, in person socializing, real world hobbies, being outside, being creative, etc. would change your input almost entirely, probably in a radically positive way. Staying away from screens will be harder in the first few hours and first couple of days than it ever will be after. If you’re still scrolling but looki…
/r/ExRedPill06/04/26 11:45 PM
6

I’m glad that you’re seeking out healthy relationships with men that feed your emotional needs, truly. Your bias, though, is clearly preventing you from being truly open in the way that healing isolation would require. If you truly can’t stand to be around a woman, any woman, ever, for more than twenty seconds, that’s not a massive difference in how women act or present. That’s your own impression of your experience with women, and is absolutely preventing you from seeing clearly. I would say th…
/r/ExRedPill03/04/26 07:12 PM
3

Data shows the reverse, if anything
/r/ExRedPill02/04/26 08:47 PM
7

I have this problem often on Reddit where I see a question like this and start to ponder it from a real world lens before I see the subreddit and have to figure out what the manosphere thinks is happening here. Some people absolutely peak based on what they value and strive for. If Gotye and Devo mainly value and spend their whole lives striving for fame, I’m sure they would say that their peak is when their one hit wonder was a hit. Neil Armstrong would probably say he had a peak moment. A very…
/r/ExRedPill24/03/26 03:06 AM
3

I hope you’re able to get some help and compassion from your world. You deserve better, and I promise that the world isn’t done giving you good things if you’re willing to stick around and keep trying. There’s no rule out there mandating that you’re going to be alone and without sex. I hope you find some genuinely good stuff soon
/r/ExRedPill23/03/26 04:04 AM
5

I’m sorry for your experiences. That all sounds painful and traumatizing for both you and your dad, and I understand that that’s affected your worldview. Both your mom and your dad have mistreated you here.
/r/ExRedPill23/03/26 03:56 AM
8

Based on?
/r/ExRedPill23/03/26 03:53 AM
5

Are you seeing screenshots from men’s subreddits cherry-picking and criticizing women? Or seeing an average group of women actually discussing things amongst themselves? Do many women want men who are taller than them? Absolutely, but I’ve never in my LIFE, no matter how many women-heavy spaces I work in, spend time in online, hang out in, whatever, heard a woman actually talking about wanting the 6/6/6 thing. Literally never. Red pill isn’t just toxic, it’s straight up not true. It’s a bunch of…
/r/ExRedPill23/03/26 03:51 AM
6

The people who talk about their experiences with the red pill that publicly are usually doing so (directly or indirectly) for either personal gain or personal meaning. Either is deeply worth defending in the public sphere. Whether it’s for money, validation, followers, image, not feeling like a failure, etc, why would they say anything other than: “Yeah, I got a TON of women. I didn’t give up the lifestyle because I couldn’t get laid/was miserable/drove people away with my beliefs, I was just so…
/r/ExRedPill19/03/26 04:12 AM
4

Love isn’t logical, and single traits like physical strength, size, dominance, etc. don’t actually lead to a better life for a partner. There’s a reason, after all, that anthropological and zoological research take very different forms. Social structure affects our behavior enormously and has for millennia. ‘Superior’ might mean very complex combinations of things, and feelings that can’t be explained or measured rationally are among those things. If you’re trying to think of human beings as gor…
/r/ExRedPill04/03/26 06:20 PM
13

There are a lot of reasons, but red pill as a movement spends a lot of time and energy on telling you that all women are the same and you need to dominate, manipulate, exclude, game, deprive, judge, scorn, and trick them in order to manage the destruction that they would otherwise bring. There’s no room for individual women being individual people with reasons for acting as they do. There’s no room for women being different and defying the odds or the expectations or the stereotypes. If you go d…
/r/ExRedPill28/02/26 10:00 PM
8

It’s okay to start a conversation with humility. That’s one of the primary things that the toxic part of manosphere movements tries to move you away from, and one of the main things that needs to be reintroduced when you’re trying to heal. Men aren’t supposed to know everything and be perfect, and your life will respond positively to you being open to learning and growth. Vocalizing some version of exactly what you’ve typed here might be exactly where to start. “I’m trying to do better by you/tr…
/r/ExRedPill28/02/26 09:54 PM
9

Welcome to the movement! You’re absolutely right, and I hope you can find both solutions and strength through other communities. Some of the resources on here are definitely helpful, and they address some of the things in your post directly. The 80/20 rule, for example, was from one dating site study with a small sample size that literally tested eharmony users before apps were even widespread. It also doesn’t hold up to actual real world dating dynamics. Redpill/blackpill/manosphere influencers…
/r/ExRedPill27/02/26 11:31 PM
19

If you like to read, I highly recommend Lundy Bancroft’s book Why Does He Do That. It’s available as a free PDF online and it deals with abusive men, but also with men who are controlling and angry and have fundamental beliefs about the amount of control that they need to have in their relationships. What you’ve posted here is really worrying. I know you love him, but you’ve described a man who’s using any means necessary to justify his own need for control. If he’s using hypothetical angry, abu…
/r/ExRedPill23/02/26 10:13 PM
4

With “they,” I assume you’re talking about women? Why do you have the impression that we don’t reflect on what we want in a partner? In this comment section alone, there are multiple women giving you very detailed impressions of what we want and expect out of partnerships. You’re also generalizing a LOT, to the point that you’re actively wrong about many many relationships I could point to. I recently had a conversation with a woman about her partner of 35 years, and about how she would actively…
/r/ExRedPill18/02/26 10:55 PM
15

I think this is a pretty big generalization. Right away, I can say that lesbians exist, and their number one criteria for a partner is that they’re literally not a man. I know women who explicitly seek out feminine or less dominant men, women who want to be the breadwinner, etc. Any point is easy to prove when you ignore all of the exceptions to the rule.
/r/ExRedPill18/02/26 08:38 PM
25

I actually had to double check the subreddit when I got to the “money/status” part of this, because my first thought was well, of course. There are millions of areas to observe, appreciate, work on, and improve as a person. If my partner isn’t better than me on some of those, like, is he a rock in a ditch? I’m not good at everything, and I don’t want to feel unilaterally superior to my partner with no room to grow or learn. My partner is more patient and observant than I am, he keeps a cleaner h…
/r/ExRedPill18/02/26 08:35 PM
4

Honestly, more specifically, it was made for patriarchs and a tiny class of powerful people. Most of the powerful people in the system are men, yes, but the separation of “patriarchs” from others means that both most women and many men out there will still never benefit. Meanwhile, the very few people who are already powerful benefit more and more by the day. I have to imagine there’s some self-perpetuating defensiveness there that’s really easy to sustain from the outside: real, powerful, hardw…
/r/ExRedPill18/02/26 02:04 AM
9

I have compassion for you here, but please know that the reason that there’s no single alternate script is because the world doesn’t work like that. If the world had a simple rulebook that worked for all social interactions, we would have figured it out when the Greeks started philosophizing. Everyone is trying to find meaning. Men, women, lonely people, social people, old, young, everyone. The problem with redpill is that it deals so specifically with dating advice for people who have historica…
/r/ExRedPill17/02/26 07:13 AM
16

Many people who leave the movement have been in it and “taking it” for years, but leave because it so drastically differs from the truth they see in the real world. I left some links in a different comment, so I’d recommend those and some of the others that have been posted in this subreddit. Whatever you feel, the red pill is entirely based on junk science, over generalizations, and some super elementary self help and attraction principles that exist within “blue pill” or non-pill understanding…
/r/ExRedPill16/02/26 12:59 AM
16

Usually the prescriptivist nature of the advice, and I often hear from people that the sexism, bias, and clearly bad facts drive them away eventually too. “ALL women are manipulative and just out to get your power and status” sounds ridiculous when you know women who are the breadwinners in their relationships, who stay in relationships after their partner can’t work, etc. I once heard a redpiller say some variation of “a woman’s biology literally won’t allow her to get turned on in the presence…
/r/ExRedPill16/02/26 12:47 AM
22

In general, redpill tends to be woefully inaccurate, manipulative of both men and women looking for answers and community, and have negative effects on mental health, relationships, self-image, etc. It follows similar patterns to cults and radicalized movements, isolates its followers, and will often shoehorn partial truths and outright lies in with a few truths in order to convince their followers to keep consuming content. Leaving the red pill tends to mean changing the content that you consum…
/r/ExRedPill15/02/26 11:17 PM
7

Dude, it’s so cool to see you on here helping someone else out with the deconstruction of redpill beliefs. I’ve been seeing you ask a lot of questions on here and making progress on your mindset as you do. Truly, congratulations and good job on all of the mental work you’re clearly doing.
/r/ExRedPill10/02/26 10:46 PM
5

I think you’re talking about my comment, honestly, so I wanted to respond to this, if even only briefly on my way to something else. I hear you, and I appreciate you sharing your experience. I’m also sorry for your loss. You’re right that the message I was trying to convey is far more like ‘anyone can be loved in the perfect relationship for them’ rather than ‘everyone will find the perfect relationship for them’ as long as these few qualities are met. It’s a dangerous game since the pills have …
/r/ExRedPill10/02/26 10:44 PM
13

I’m not the person you’re replying to, but this is mainly because we get to choose our partners and the people that we associate with. One of the wonderful things about redpill being fake is that we’re not condemned to a woman who’s materialistic and hates short men or a man who needs to feel dominant all the time. If you want a partner who’s the breadwinner and makes the choices and watches Star Wars with you and doesn’t snore too loudly, go find one. If one of those things isn’t true for someo…
/r/ExRedPill10/02/26 12:10 AM
2

A woman
/r/ExRedPill03/02/26 09:59 PM
3

I do. He has brought in less than $1000 in about three years, so he ends up doing a lot of the housework and I make the money.
/r/ExRedPill03/02/26 08:05 PM
5

I am, my best friend is, my family member is, and now that I’m thinking about it, I think my other close friend might be. Its so not that big of a deal, and I actively prefer being the breadwinner in my relationship. Humans are so damn weird we’re the exceptions to every universal rule we try to declare other than literal physical laws. People are born with their knees inverted sometimes. There are people with allergies to water or sun light. Why would something so insignificant as “man make mor…
/r/ExRedPill03/02/26 09:22 AM
2

For what it’s worth, borderline is sometimes overdiagnosed, but it’s a very real cluster of symptoms. It’s a very ‘push and pull’ type of experience to be close with someone with BPD. You can be their savior and the only person in the world who’s doing the right things for them and the perfect solution to all of their problems one day, and the devil incarnate who’s always meant bad things for them the next, yo-yoing back and forth frequently. People with BPD tend to test boundaries a lot and dis…
/r/ExRedPill12/01/26 09:35 PM
4

Me! Other than a couple hundred dollars over the last couple of years, I’ve made literally all of our household’s income. I tend to feel stir crazy and unfulfilled if I can’t work, I’m worse at keeping up with chores than he is, and he wanted to train in an art that still probably won’t make him much money when it comes to fruition. We’re short on money with only one income, but I’m honestly super happy this way. It lets both of us dive headfirst into our passions, lets me come home to a clean h…
/r/ExRedPill09/01/26 01:33 AM
5

I’m glad you’re on here looking for perspectives! Seeking out new resources and new spaces when you’re trying to learn more is a great way to do it.
/r/ExRedPill09/01/26 01:22 AM
5

For what it’s worth, it’s not a guerrilla resistance at all. As other people have said, a huge percentage of people have absolutely no idea what the red pill is. Most people who know about it are mildly scornful of it or very actively against it. A few public “proponents” of it know that it doesn’t statistically hold up, but know that they can make money or clout off of people who do. There are very very few, though often very loud people who believe in the red pill and try to live by it. Online…
/r/ExRedPill09/01/26 01:22 AM
4

This is a very hostile comment. Feminism isn’t about hating men, and individually discriminatory women that go viral for being terrible don’t change that. If you want to speak to people who currently believe in feminism as a fight for equality, feel free to ask us yourself.
/r/ExRedPill28/10/25 02:13 AM
6

I say this without any defensiveness or hate, because I know you're just trying to accept how the world is working. Fortunately for all of us though, that one isn't any less of a lie than the rest of the redpill stereotypes. Yes, some women want to stay home with the baby or have a partner who pays for the dates, but it's 2025. That matters a *lot* considering that we don't have to depend on a man anymore. Many of us want to be able to take care of our own needs, want to have a guy around only i…
/r/ExRedPill25/10/25 05:21 AM
8

I really admire and appreciate how much you’re clearly listening to people’s perspectives on here. Kudos, because that’s not something to take for granted. I’m also hearing and appreciating your perspective, for what it’s worth. I definitely understand how “fuck, this guy seems nice and I don’t want to hurt him even though I’m not interested/available/single” would feel like pity or condescension if not done properly. People here are right that there’s rarely an easy or right way for someone to …
/r/ExRedPill04/10/25 08:41 PM
9

What do you like/dislike about each of the labels?
/r/ExRedPill26/09/25 09:27 PM
1

If it were possible to just decide to be another gender because it’s a more convenient one, trans people wouldn’t exist. Being the wrong gender/sex is excruciating for many people and worsens most health outcomes as traumas tend to, so no. That’s not a solution. Beyond that though, the solution to people getting along isn’t forcibly eliminating anyone who’s different. We’ve tried that many, many times over as a society, and we end up eliminating that group partially or completely, casting suspic…
/r/ExRedPill28/08/25 06:00 PM
–

Thanks! Appreciate it
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 04:54 AM
–

Can you link the study that proves hypergamy? Because I’ve both looked extensively and asked multiple people who have cited studies, and still haven’t seen it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 04:37 AM
–

Good news! That’s because leagues don’t exist! You can just live your life completely unconcerned about how attractive other people think they are! Like, what are we gaining here? Damn.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 04:13 AM
12

Agreed.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 03:57 AM
3

That’s fine, I agree. Having basic human worth doesn’t mean that someone has to be helpful in everyone else’s life
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 09:30 PM
1

I get the divide, sure. This is a very basic philosophical argument that goes back millennia at this point. The idea that human beings are inherently valuable isn’t a new idea, but you’re right in that it’s not a universal one either. You can believe whatever you want, but I see people bring value to others and the world constantly, whether we recognize it as such or not. To me, the comparison isn’t really like that of gold, which is only valuable because we artificially assign it value, but pla…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 06:40 PM
1

I guess you and I will have to agree to disagree, which is fine. For me, compassion isn’t the same as true love or sacrifice that I feel for my family, but is a basic value surrounding the fact that people are out there, usually doing their best based on their own understanding of the world, and deserve as much kindness or help as I can reasonably give. I like myself, other people, and the world much better when I assume that human beings deserve respect and basic happiness and try to make shit …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 05:31 PM
4

I’m not going to bully or insult you. You can have whatever opinion of me or anyone else that you want, but you’re not going to convince me out of my values/humanity and basic “human beings deserve compassion” response by throwing stereotypes and other peoples’ actions at me. I understand you trying to protect yourself on a forum where people are frequently fucking terrible, but that doesn’t mean I personally plan to be terrible to you. Trauma isn’t a “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” thing, …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 06:05 PM
0

You can believe whatever you want, but I’m not sure what function signaling my virtue would serve here. I’m just sorry that you had to go through something terrible and that you’re still having to find your way out of it. You deserve compassion because you’re a human. That’s it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 05:29 PM
1

Men and women both suffer due to gender roles. I didn’t and wouldn’t claim otherwise, because we wouldn’t be here as a society if growing up as a man didn’t absolutely fucking suck sometimes. I’m also not sure what promises you’re talking about. Are you saying that the narrative was “get pretty and then you’ll get a man”? I was more expressing that it was the opposite. “If you’re not pretty, you should feel ashamed and probably assume that you won’t get a man and will live a worthless life.”
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 05:20 PM
5

They’re human beings. That’s enough. They also might bring value to themselves, the world, and other people in literal millions of ways. Making money is such a bizarre, ultimately inconsequential thing for people to base value on. This is also just a personal pet peeve, but how have we (in the gender shittiness of the internet) devolved to thinking of primary human value as our fucking looks and money? That’s such a sad view of the way that we’ve evolved to have relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 05:17 PM
4

There’s nothing funny about you having to suffer as a kid and as an adult because your dad was so shitty to you. I wish you all of the best.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 05:14 PM
5

This makes me sad for all of the men posting on here. Bad parents can do terrible things to our psyche, and can make us feel like we’re never going to be safe or loved by anyone in the right way. There are too many ‘bad dad’ comments to respond to individually, but you all deserve so much less trauma than you all got. I wish you all so much better for the future.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 03:42 PM
6

I’m sorry you had to go through all of that. You shouldn’t have had to deal with all of that from the person who was supposed to keep you safe. I hope you’ve found some peace since then.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 03:39 PM
9

Men have more value than just their income and status
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 03:34 PM
1

Based on what evidence?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 03:29 PM
2

You’re generalizing. People make decisions on an individual basis based on their own needs and values, not as a hive mind. You’re free to ask me or any other progressive woman what we individually think about “lower class males” (which… what? What the fuck is a lower class male? When did that become one of the buzzwords?) and we can answer, but that doesn’t mean that every single leftist woman thinks the same. Personally, as I’ve said on here many times, I prefer to be the breadwinner. I dated a…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 03:29 PM
1

Jesus. What the fuck is this take? “Give up all plans on trusting your partner and feeling like you’re worthy of love and accept that you’re a subhuman asshole who will never find better! :D” added to “Women are barely capable of staying faithful anyway!!” added to a random smattering of horrible normalization of flat out abusive relationships. DON’T CHEAT ON PEOPLE. IF YOU TREAT SOMEONE HORRIBLY AND TRY TO CONVINCE THEM THAT THEY CAN’T GET ANYONE BETTER, THAT’S EMOTIONAL ABUSE. Period. Extremis…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 12:30 AM
1

Why is them listing the basic categories in any Cosmo magazine indicative of them being marriage material? I’m not sure if you understand that this is truly what we’ve been told are absolutely essential skills for us to not be useless, undesirable, ugly, horrifying, miserable, worthless, forever alone, etc. Whether we take them at their word and learn them or not, we’ve received SO many messages, nearly daily for our whole childhoods, about not only how to be worthy of a man, but about how we ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 12:21 AM
3

Okay, fair enough. I can appreciate that we’re on the same page for some of this topic. Normally I wouldn’t debate semantics, but I think that framing it all as “unconditional love” is dangerous. Some people get true (platonic, familial, or romantic) love regardless of gender. Some women and men (both for both, I believe) get shallow, selfish, conditional appreciation based on their beauty, income, reproductive capabilities, citizenship, function, or even chore habits. As you said, if there’s a …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/25 07:40 PM
11

Not all cis women are born being able to bear children. Many of them, and many men they encounter, won’t know that until they try and possibly fail. Many women also won’t bear children, or will have health or lifestyle issues that eliminate the possibility later. Some will only be able to have children if they cripple or disable themselves, or if they give up their own career, goals, happiness, mental health, whatever. “Women have evolutionary value because they might have the capacity to bear c…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/25 07:01 PM
21

Being a potential birth machine is the very definition of a condition. That’s not what valuing or loving someone means.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/25 06:50 PM
4

“This might be the ultimate blackpill”? Slow down. Seriously, noncombatively, compassionately, slow down before a generalization gets over-applied and becomes a way of approaching the world that you cant defend to yourself without nuking all of the good things out there. There are many, many women out there who are the breadwinner in their relationship. I’m in that list. We also frequently approach the man. I’m in that list too. I love my partner absolutely unconditionally, barring him somehow c…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/25 02:32 PM
2

Sure, sure. You’re right. I’ve heard that too, so I’ll amend the comment. “Then no one would have a happy, lasting relationship ever.”
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/25 03:27 AM
1

There are already multiple studies. Studies, it’s worth saying, still only measure statistical averages across populations, and never account for 100% of the populations. That being said, there are already studies. They don’t agree with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/25 12:10 AM
2

Some women date abusive men. Some women don’t. Some women get intuition through having to date abusive men. Some women seem to be born with it. Some men date abusive women. Once again, generalizing as if all women are somehow the same is the problem here. That’s my entire point. You wouldn’t say all men are abusers, so why fall for an assumption as dumb as assuming that all women date abusers?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/25 10:49 PM
2

Then no one would have a lasting relationship ever.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/25 10:40 PM
2

So… two anecdotes? That disproves the intuition of all women out there? Lol
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/25 10:39 PM
–

How on earth does it affect you if someone disagrees with your assessment of their attractiveness? Not even “why do you care,” but how does it affect you personally?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/25 10:32 PM
1

I don’t think there’s a single person out there who hasn’t been stereotyped or made to answer for the actions of others. Judging others based on the evidence we have is one of the most basic social instincts we have. It absolutely sucks to be judged unfairly, as I said, but it’s not like people were being fairly and individually evaluated before western women single-handedly fucked it all up.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 09:37 PM
15

God, I want to bottle this response and sprinkle some of it on every thread on here. I’m so tired of people on here highlighting the shittiest, pettiest things that an entire gender has done and asking one commenter in particular to answer for them all. Like, no, I don’t personally know why one girl in Indiana insulted you and declined your invitation to the prom and then went with your brother. It’s also not “Women can’t take accountability” if I can’t defend that pretty indefensible action. Al…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 04:32 PM
13

What study shows that women never vary?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 11:08 PM
1

I know I’m a couple of days late, but what does this have to do with being born a long time ago? This is a pretty standard approach.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 06:55 PM
1

The word she apparently used in this secondhand, brief impression of one conversation, out of context, possibly using tons of other words in the process. Come on.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 12:42 AM
2

This is just sexism, my guy, and i don’t say that to blame or dismiss you personally. I think many men are conditioned to think that it’s not even worth talking about hobbies with women, whether the expectation is noticeable to them or not. I’ve personally gone on many dates or been flirted with by enough guys where the guy monologues about his own interests and gets actively surprised when I get a word in edgewise and reveal my own. Women often get painted as such a dumb, blank slate that guys …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 12:28 AM
4

People saying that police are an alternative really don’t understand the process or why so few victims of both genders report. Reporting a rape, sexual harassment, or a sexual assault means that it needs to fit within the specific laws of the area AND a cop has to decide it’s worth their time AND there has to be evidence of what is usually a completely private, unwitnessed encounter, AND you have to go through a traumatizing courtroom encounter where your abuser employs people to dig through you…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 04:00 PM
5

The opposite of and solution to patriarchy isn’t matriarchy. That’s just oppression of different people. The solution is equity and equality. I agree with the idea of dismantling patriarchy though, as much as is possible. analyzing the structure of power of men (patriarchy) is radical feminism See this is the disconnect for me. Where are you getting the idea that the mention and analysis of patriarchy is radical? The term patriarchy has been a very basic way of describing gender roles since seco…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 05:24 AM
6

All feminists aren’t radical feminists by any means. That’s absolutely a myth spread by the manopshere, not how feminists at large actually act, describe themselves, profess their values, or advocate. “Patriarchy is oppressive and the sexes should be equal” isn’t an extreme or radical belief. I answered multiple times, but the answer again is that all men aren’t oppressors. If a woman is straight, why would she choose to be alone for the course of her lifetime so that one guy from the Class of M…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 02:49 AM
2

No one should have their safety threatened online, and two wrongs don’t make a right, especially when we have no evidence that the people getting doxed were the same ones doing the doxing. Some women are actively reporting abusers, not doing anything petty to anyone, and then having their private information leaked and linked to the people who abused them in the first place. That’s not related to the accountability of all women somehow. That’s a grievous and immediate threat to personal safety f…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 08:33 PM
4

I gave lots of reasons there, and all are backed by extensive research at this point. Women aren’t all the same, and the reasons and their awareness of the situation will absolutely vary. I talk to women all the time who exemplify one reason or another here. Again, not all men are oppressors. Feminism isn’t even close to being about hating all men or calling all men oppressors. Feminism is also very layered and complex. Some people may be a feminist in that they consider women to be equal, but h…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 06:43 PM
5

For what it’s worth, there are a lot of different perspectives here and elsewhere. Some are the hateful and aggressive ones that get pushed here in the worse threads, but there’s compassion to be found in discussing the dating scene and gender issues too. I would recommend the bropill, guycry, and exredpill subreddits if you’re looking to branch into the parts that are more compassionate to guys who are struggling.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 06:32 PM
7

I can definitely empathize with that! For what it’s worth, we’re just people. A lot of us are confused and struggling to date and trust as well, and the internet is making the world seem so much more hostile, strange, and hopeless than I think it actually is. Feel free to ask me questions if you want.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 06:26 PM
13

This is a great perspective. Thanks for sharing! I like the idea that you and I might be on the same page about self improvement, helping men’s mental health, helping people find each other, and not hating or blaming women as a philosophy.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 06:23 PM
4

I agree with this exactly. I know that a perspective from a man will sometimes be more relatable and convincing to people here, but I firmly believe that the red pill/black pill/whatever guys on here need to hear from actual, real women who aren’t the loveless, demanding monsters we’re made out to be. I have so much empathy for the struggle, but FUCK. The extremism and flat out lies on here make me itch.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 06:21 PM
5

Yup. I can’t answer for all of those women individually, but there are a lot of reasons for that. Sometimes it’s not clear to someone who is going to be kind to them/good for them and who’s not. There are a lot of reasons for that, but one is that some people are trained out of trusting their instincts, needs, and boundaries as a kid. You get a lot of kids who grew up with abusive parents going on to either be abusive or be in abusive relationships later because they think either that it’s norma…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 06:13 PM
9

A patriarchal system puts men above women in the hierarchy, at the cost (usually) of absolutely everyone. Men, in this system, have to be strong, show no weakness and uphold their power and identity with violence or force if necessary, leaving men miserable and insecure if they (like all humans) have moments of weakness. Women tend to get shoved into the role of the weak, silly, sexual, hysterical, caretaker who simultaneously needs to be taken care of. It’s how our system has tended to operate …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 05:00 PM
2

Ditto! I appreciate your kindness on here.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 01:42 PM
4

I think there’s a spectrum of variability, and you and I probably disagree on where most people fall. For instance, I’m a therapist. I’m great at reading people, hear about tons of people’s lives and preferences, and still get surprised by every single one of my clients all the time. I might ask the same question of 50 people and get 49 different answers. Yes, pretty much everybody wants love and safety and recognition, but everyone out there is an outlier or an exception on more metrics than we…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 01:28 PM
1

Kudos. Not that many people figure out what they want that early. I suppose it makes sense that you don’t plan for change as much. If you don’t mind me asking, are you in a long term relationship? Do you have kids?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 12:36 PM
-1

Lol yes, and I’ve known short, broke, weird guys who were the ones getting a different girl every weekend. I’m not the one making things complex, I promise you.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 12:24 PM
6

Some people absolutely use both to mean the same thing. Off of this subreddit, I’d absolutely just say that I’m not into the pill ideologies, but on this subreddit, it’s worth specifying. The “no pill” flair here always strikes me as similar to the “not rated” label on movies. You never know whether the label means “not rated because we didn’t bother to submit our peaceful nature documentary for review” or “not rated because we don’t want them to debate the first ever NC-29 rating.” “No pill” po…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 03:44 AM
4

Honestly, it’s a lot of stubborn empathy, internet procrastination, and (partially misguided) altruism. People are usually trying their best, and I think that animosity, division, and people assuming the worst of each other is a lot of the problem with the big, hateful, anonymous internet. I get frustrated that on these forums, everyone’s spewing their anger and judgement without anyone trying to bridge the gap. People are lonely and afraid these days, and that doesn’t help anyone think very rat…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 01:37 AM
3

Thanks! I appreciate it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 12:48 AM
1

Yeah exactly. I don’t think that redpill would say that you can change situation if your height is the factor, I mean. I wasn’t clear in my phrasing. What does you mean by dark blue pill? I don’t think I’ve heard that reference.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 11:50 PM
6

I mean, first of all, I can’t speak for the people online who have zero sympathy for men who feel lonely and left behind. I think loneliness is a huge problem in this era, and that the way that we’re neglecting men’s mental health is awful. Men get the “you must hate women” thing too often when there’s no evidence of that in their post. If we want men to share their emotions freely and they’re not targeting others in doing so, we have to be ready to let them. Sometimes guys truly are just ventin…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 11:48 PM
11

I would definitely disagree with the blue pill one. Blue pill = looks aren’t the only thing that matters. I can’t speak to the others, especially since height is so widely talked about in red pill.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 11:27 PM
2

I appreciate hearing your perspective. In your opinion, are you the same person that you were when you were 17? Do you have the same habits, interests, and needs?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 10:55 PM
11

I mean, pretty much exactly, yes. Truth isn’t often useful, especially when the truth is that shit is just complicated and varied. In my eyes though, chopping pieces off of your life to fit it neatly into a lie is worse. After all, thinkers and philosophers have been at this for millennia. If there was a single meaning to life, we would have found it in Ancient Greece. Rules are so appealing and comforting in a world this chaotic. I have so much empathy for the people who seek them, but there’s …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 10:49 PM
3

Why? Is there a change in personality or circumstances that you believe would justify having different tastes at different ages? I think of people who get into exercise later in life and realize that they only really want a partner who will go hiking with them, or people who have addiction problems before sobriety and end up with a partner who doesn’t drink. Even growing up in very basic ways will change who you seek. Someone may seek a partner they can have more intellectual conversations with …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 09:30 PM
14

This one is a lot, but as a basic response to all of this— The bluepill ideology isn’t Be Good—> Get Bitches™️, it’s that human beings are complicated and seek partners for different reasons, many of which absolutely do include personality and how you feel when you’re around them. There are still some deserving people who will end up getting partners later or never or who end up with a shitty partner against all odds, just like there are people who work hard all their life and still end up poor.…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 09:25 PM
3

I mean, I was saying that people were divided about whether she was using him, not that it’s totally magically cool if she is. I don’t see anyone being like “yeah girl fuck him over and get that bag” on there.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 09:07 PM
5

Is there a particular comment you’re thinking of? From what I see here, people are divided on what she meant. Some people are saying “your tastes change when you age and become a parent” and are generally in favor, and others are saying “she thinks you’re boring and is using you for her kid” and are opposed. Most are just urging him to talk to her and clarify. I don’t see any evidence that OOP is paying for her lifestyle or that people are in favor of a loveless relationship where one person is …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 08:53 PM
4

Where do you see using someone for their resources portrayed as something positive?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 08:39 PM
1

Six years afterwards? After dating multiple other people who either weren’t conventionally attractive, weren’t tall, or weren’t men? Why does that prove your point? And why are multiple people trying to gotcha a stranger about their own life?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 03:16 PM
2

Tall, which I figure is the only thing you’ll probably hear now. Again though, I was happily with my 5’6” boyfriend at the time and not interested in the slightest.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 01:39 PM
1

So you didn’t think there was any way that you could change your mind? And that seems like a very difficult negative to prove anecdotally. What do you mean that you have anecdotal proof? Are you saying that you know the sexual histories of all of the married women you know? Or that you know people with sexual histories who aren’t married yet, and know that that’s why? Do you somehow have proof that someone’s emotional landscape is due to how many sexual partners they’ve had, and that their relat…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 01:36 PM
1

No proven consequences continue to be no proven consequences when no one can prove any consequences. No apparent consequences continue to be no apparent consequences when, after many years, there have been literally no consequences. My partner knows everything about my past and we love each other more every single day. Just out of genuine curiosity (although I know this will probably come off as hostile by now), did you start this conversation with any openness to changing your mind? I wasn’t bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 01:12 PM
1

So you couldn’t find that study, huh? Or did you not bother to try? It’s fairly typical of people to switch to accusations of their opponent’s emotionality when they can’t back up their own claim, but I’m not sure whether you’re so confident in your feelings of the world that you don’t care about the facts, or whether you simply couldn’t find facts to support your claim.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 12:54 PM
1

That’s not a study. I can see how you would get confused though, because you seem to be unsure of how to have a conversation that’s not based on feelings, and biases, and weird, invasive questions for strangers. I’m in a long term, serious relationship. With a high body count. Wanna tell me how I’m wrong about my experiences somehow?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 12:45 PM
1

Everyone keeps missing that I said average guys. Average. Below average. I’m very intentionally and very clearly telling you, from inside a woman’s mind, that women aren’t dumb animals in heat who are only capable of loving the most attractive animal in the forest. Meet real people. We very, very frequently actively seek ugly, poor, and/or short men.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 12:41 PM
3

Why would I not need a study for this? There’s copious evidence that points to the exact opposite. Also, I just generally believe that especially where so much is counterintuitive and where people’s feelings skew their impressions so dramatically, proof matters. I absolutely understand what you’re saying in terms of your first relationship being more emotional, but everything’s passionate when it’s your first. Beyond that, there are also way more relevant determining factors in constancy and bon…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 04:04 AM
3

Thank you! I wish you all the best as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 02:35 AM
6

We truly both discovered it at the same moment, which felt very weird on reflection. I appreciate you asking things openly and examining your biases. It’s impossible to take a good conversation for granted on this subreddit, so kudos/thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 02:11 AM
1

I wanted to take the time to give you a real response, so this is going to be long. I know that things on the internet are always going to sound combative or aggressive, but I’m genuinely glad you’re talking about this. The conversation about gender is too often about generalizing people and so rarely about how we influence each gender when we generalize them so fucking aggressively and unrelentingly from birth. Yes, socioecological factors are the problem here, and I appreciate that you’re tryi…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 02:03 AM
2

We both matured and shifted as people. Our personalities had to evolve for us to make sense together, and we had to live different kinds of lives for a while. When we were both single and found that our friendship was evolving, we gave it a shot. He’s the love of my life, and I’m glad we had a friendship to build on first.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 12:48 AM
1

I mean, yes? But I was in a relationship at the time, and wasn’t feeling sparks for other guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 12:43 AM
2

Neuroscience has a lot to do with human behavior and values in general, which is what politics are comprised of. I’ve looked thoroughly multiple times over and found nothing each time. Can you link a study that proves female ability to pair bond is ruined by sexual activity?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 12:13 AM
–

I agree that OP is absolutely not phrasing this like they have an open mind. I saw that and also immediately lost faith in the quality of the conversation that could proceed from there. Can I ask you your own question in reverse though? Was there a moment, person, or single experience that convinced you that all women/men could be judged using a single rule book?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 12:08 AM
4

We were friends with no interest in dating for years before we ever actually fell for each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 12:03 AM
2

The problem is that this whole pair bonding thing is a myth. The only study I’ve ever seen cited to prove this was a weak, low sample size study that showed that women with no previous partners stay in a marriage longest, which was posited even in that study to be a result of religious and conservative women both trying to be virgins before marriage and having low tendency/ability to divorce. The same study actually showed that women with, say, 5 partners (it was __+ partners, and I’ll be honest…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 12:02 AM
5

This sub is so ridiculous that I fully thought you actually believed this for a sec
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 11:57 PM
2

What? According to what data? I absolutely grow to love my partner more every day that I’m with him, and that’s a very very common experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 11:57 PM
1

I agree. We know neurologically, scientifically, and anecdotally that people don’t lack the capability to feel certain emotions just based on gender or sex, but no single person can know what that emotion feels like in anyone else’s brain.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 11:03 PM
1

What do you mean having the same pursuits? And I don’t plan to generalize you. Neither you nor I can control other peoples’ actions, but we can control our own. On that note too, I personally make an effort to empathize with everyone, regardless of their gender. I think it’s a basic and crucial part of how we need to be ready to approach each other to have a better world. Do you agree?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 11:02 PM
–

You can think whatever you want, but I see no reason to believe that this app will be used any differently than the networks that already exist. I’ve seen those apps and informal networks warn women of unsafe men literally dozens of times, but I truly can’t think of a single time that I’ve seen women chase someone down on there because they’re actively unavailable. “This guy is getting lots of bitches and I’m next” still seems like such a cartoonish, sitcom response to the world lol. The way som…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 01:13 PM
–

Why do you assume that you know what our inner experiences are better than we do?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 03:41 AM
–

Well, I’m the breadwinner in my long term relationship by choice. My best friend is the primary breadwinner in hers. If you aren’t willing to acknowledge that women vary widely and freely just like men do, we’re not going to get anywhere in this conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 03:09 AM
–

I’d truly love to hear why you think so
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 02:51 AM
1

I am a feminist lol. “Believe the victim” is veeeeeery different than “all men are evil because they’re men,” even in the wild weird world of feminism.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 12:28 AM
–

Why wouldn’t they? Put a different way, if a woman gets assaulted, abused, or cheated on, do you truly think that not a single one would use the resource to warn other women or men about them? Why not?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 11:24 PM
-3

I would be surprised if that stuff didn’t exist on any app where people are talking about and representing others. Humans are messy and imperfect, and any big sample of people is going to show that. I’m not sure how any individual case invalidates any other, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 08:03 PM
–

Some men edit photos, some don’t. Some women edit photos, some don’t. Some women and men exercise and put a ton of effort into their appearance, some of both genders don’t. You’re still generalizing wildly based on a few cherry-picked examples.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 08:00 PM
–

It sounds like that video was made about the most petty, trivial examples, so I’m not surprised that the selected examples were petty and trivial.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 07:00 PM
–

Why are you comparing a random selection of women’s “prove you’re a live human while sprawled in your bed” photos to an equally random selection of “post your most attractive, possibly edited photos to dating sites so that women fall in love with you on sight” photos as if they’re comparable?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 06:59 PM
10

Women have always done exactly the same thing, regardless of apps. Since the days of matchmakers, women have shared rumors of how much a guy drinks, gets violent, cheats, likes control, etc. I knew exactly which men and women on my college campus had been accused of ignoring consent, as did my friends, because people looked out for each others’ safety once they heard those rumors. It didn’t result in ruined lives, filed charges, etc., people still questioned the rumors and made their own choices…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 06:26 PM
6

That’s not what it proves in the slightest, and I’m struggling to see how you even got there. Men who display red flags are going to get posted there more often by women trying to warn others or find warnings and confirmation of toxicity they may be seeing. Men who don’t display red flags will likely end up in longer, more stable relationships and not have potential dates searching for them on the app. Men who have been posted with red flags multiple times, if people are checking the app, will g…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 06:09 PM
–

There’s so much nuance in the world that you’re not acknowledging here. There are tons of average and below average men who experience exactly that kind of lust and love. I’ve loved and lusted after average men. My friends have. I’ve heard women overwhelmed with a crush on a guy who’s 5’5” and covered with acne. Yes, attractive guys get more people lusting after them. That’s what attractive means. That doesn’t mean, though, that no attractive guy ever experiences love and lust, or that women don…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 04:32 PM
–

Women and men can absolutely both have psychopathic traits. I won’t deny that. Generalizing all women to be that way though? Holy lord. No. Psychopaths are (unless you’re sampling CEOs or people in power, which is a fascinating rabbit hole of research) estimated to be 1% of the population, not 50%. However many internet theories you pull out, I am a woman. I socialize with women. We absolutely empathize with men, and exceptions don’t disprove those vast majority of experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 03:06 PM
–

As an actual woman, I’m telling you flat out that you’re wrong. Women feel and experience all of the same things that men do. Again, the world wouldn’t exist the way it does if such a limited, inhuman, frankly horrific worldview was held by half of humanity. Like, “Only worry about how men’s feelings will affect their feelings”? “Value the feelings and social dominance they pursue through people”? Fuck? That sounds absolutely psychopathic, and it makes me feel terrified for you that you live in …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 02:00 PM
–

The first man I fell in love with was 5’6” and had multiple skin conditions. Stop trying to chop pieces off of my comment to shoehorn this into the redpill ideology. It doesn’t work that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 01:30 PM
–

Relationships. People. You didn’t fix anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 01:28 PM
–

I am absolutely, 1000% denying that. We feel love and lust for all kinds of men, or most of the marriages on this planet wouldn’t exist the way they do.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 01:26 PM
–

Can you guys stop trying to invent extreme shit to radicalize one gender against another? We have enough problems, and you’re absolutely, 100%, flat out lying now. Women feel love, attraction, lust, and heartbreak like all human beings, whether that fits your personal narrative or not. It’s absolutely insane, and against literal millennia of copious, countless, vivid examples, to claim otherwise. Learn to deal with that or don’t, but stop trying to deny our humanity and the relationships we woul…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 05:47 AM
9

What’s your evidence for that?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 12:43 AM
2

Honestly, addressing the imbalance on a societal level is a good goal. I think I misspoke by making the distinction societal vs individual, so I’ll give you that. My deeper question remains the same though— why address ALL WOMEN as the problem instead of addressing the people actually perpetuating sexism? I think you know as well as I do that all women or all men aren’t evil and sexist and terrible, just like all women/men aren’t unproblematic angels with nothing to fix.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 08:41 PM
6

God, it’s terrible that you’re hearing that. I’m sorry that you have anyone in your life trying to tell you that you’re evil just because you’re a man, let alone more than one person. I’m glad that your therapist has helped you push back. I will still be honest and say that I don’t usually see that in my personal life or surroundings, but sexism absolutely pops up everywhere and hurts everyone in the process. Congratulations on breaking the cycle.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 08:36 PM
2

People can only change or address their behaviors on an individual level, so why is the “class” of women a useful distinction?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 08:21 PM
2

Can you explain more what you mean? The source that I posted was about two parent households, and I don’t see any evidence of parental alienation being a deciding factor for anything there.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 08:16 PM
2

Thanks for the source! That will be an interesting read if I can access the full text. I ask because I’ve found data that contradicts this in the past. I’m happy to find more sources if you would like to see more. Do you not see a contradiction in calling an entire gender sexist? Isn’t the whole point that we should be judging people as individuals? I call out sexist women all the time, just like I call out sexist men all the time. I would assume or hope that you would do the same, but there’s n…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 08:15 PM
0

Did you review the link that I posted? 80% of single parent households are single mothers, which would skew both statistics about the number of hours worked outside of the household and who’s receiving benefits. You’re also only counting professional hours worked, which tends to vary wildly from the number of hours spent generating value for the household.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 08:06 PM
2

Everyone is biased. Everyone has individual biases, and those may be more or less flattering or beneficial to any one group in various moments, but to say that everyone is universally biased towards women seems like a stretch. Do you have data to prove that men are biased towards women?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 07:59 PM
3

I’m glad that you’ve learned to set healthy boundaries and everything. That’s genuinely great, and I’m glad you’ve taken steps to be healthier and live a better life. I do disagree with the idea that women aren’t called out on things like that. I see and experience the exact opposite, but I can’t speak for the individual people in your life.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 07:57 PM
0

That’s statistically very false.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 07:46 PM
2

You’re generalizing and making huge assumptions here. Women offer all of the above to men and women every single day, as do men. Call out bad individuals and bad actors, don’t make up trends in order to blame all women for the acts of the shitty ones. Calling an entire gender sexist, unempathetic, irresponsible, etc. by making up imaginary philosophies that we apparently hold and ignoring all of the exceptions to your rules and strawman arguments isn’t going to erase the problems, and is absolut…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 07:38 PM
9

Why do you think that women aren’t used to being challenged on those kinds of things? And taking care of yourself and your boundaries seems like the opposite of toxicity.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 07:07 PM
5

You’re literally describing different women with different opinions and actions and trying to act like one is a hypocrite because the other one acts differently lol. And do you really think that women are never self-depricating? Jesus.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 06:36 PM
6

Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 06:21 AM
3

I will say, I understand the potential for misuse. That being said, the idea that we can rely on criminal background checks and sex offender lists for the same purpose is a glaring misunderstanding of the landscape here. Very very few sexual assaults and incidents of abuse, stalking, etc. are reportable, reported, investigated, pursued, convicted, and not pled down or ultimately stricken from records. We need to be both wary and realistic here. A man who stalks a date, gets someone too drunk to …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 09:00 PM
–

Again, just as with every time this comes up, many women actively prefer smaller. Many others don’t care in the slightest. Some like it larger, yes, but the conversation doesn’t stem from some universal preference that all women always have.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 01:58 PM
5

Agreed. People who make dick size jokes somehow think they’re excluded from the fact that body shaming fucking hurts people. It’s one of the big ways that many people (more women in my experience, honestly) contribute to toxic masculinity more than they admit.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 02:51 AM
8

No, it’s sadly not. ETA: just in case, this isn’t even close to an “all men are evil” thing. It’s literally just not uncommon for groping and harassment stories to be not only common, but clustered. I’ve found that certain environments tend to attract multiple entitled people and then foment/encourage that entitlement. Restaurant environments are also known for this kind of thing. I don’t doubt this story at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 02:41 AM
1

I don’t think people are widely claiming any one of these things other than that feminism is about equality. Jesus. No wonder y’all think feminism is fucking insane if you’re acting like we claim things this out there, illogical, unfair, and crazy. Of course allegations affect men. Of course equality means that we equally pay for our own shit. Also, paying rent for your date? Either you’re blatantly making things up or you’re believing people who are.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 02:39 AM
9

We can all only speak for ourselves. Women who tell you their own experiences aren’t hypocrites or lying because their experience doesn’t happen to be the same as yours.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 11:51 PM
10

Same!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 12:10 PM
2

Sure. As I said earlier, you can value whatever you want. I can value whatever I want. That’s very different than “women’s main value is sex,” which was a hugely overgeneralized statement about all women, men, and relationships. That was the original topic. Many people are okay with assessing their own value and not finding a relationship if other people don’t agree. In any case, people vary.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 11:56 PM
3

You didn’t ask what women’s values are. You asked what my values are. I didn’t defend or describe other women at all there. My point is that you can’t generalize all women or all men based on one single set of rules. If you could, those rules would have been taught in textbooks for millennia. As it stands, most women don’t live similar lives. Most men don’t live similar lives. You’ve proven even in a few comments that you don’t know what I’m thinking, what I value, or how I spend my time in the …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 05:14 PM
2

If a man has a high EQ, that’s great. Why would I dislike that? Many don’t, just like many women don’t, but someone knowing and regulating their own emotions is something to be happy about. I’m not here to argue who has a higher emotional intelligence score on average, just to work with people to improve their own. What makes you think that you know me and what I do with my time and choices? I mean that genuinely. Why do you think that you know any stranger’s life and thoughts better than they d…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 04:47 PM
2

Emotional intelligence and helping people. Why? Again, not to all men. There are asexual men out there. There are dudes with lower sex drive than their partners. If you ask pretty much any guy what the value of his mother or sister is, I’m positive he wouldn’t say sex. Again, your values can be whatever you want. Don’t pretend that you know everyone else’s.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 04:31 PM
3

Women’s main value to you may be sexual, but that’s absolutely not even close to our greatest value in life.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 04:18 PM
2

By your definition of loser, yes we do. We absolutely do.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 03:09 PM
16

It’s 2025, and the leading cause of death is heart disease, which is exacerbated and worsened by constant activation of the sympathetic nervous system, or the constantly stressful ‘survival mode.’ As someone who works with and educates people on anxiety, anger, survival mode, trauma, and domestic abuse (relevant when someone spends their days assessing for threats to solve with violence), he is far likelier to die an early death literally because of his survival mode. That is quite literally how…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 03:47 AM
7

Your fiance sounds absolutely fucking exhausting. He can speak for himself, but I promise you that that’s not how every man thinks. I would absolutely rather die in a fight where my man couldn’t defend me than have to live with a partner who walks around wasting his time and raising his blood pressure by trying to start fights that don’t exist with everyone (?!) he meets.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 03:36 AM
1

I mean I love sarcasm as much as the next person, but I have no idea what point you’re trying to make or how you got there
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/25 09:22 PM
2

What? Did you respond to the right comment? I’m baffled as to how “you weren’t there so how would you know what a stranger’s arguments were about” somehow signified “I’m personally perfect, never have arguments, and fight over curling irons.” Who are you talking to?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/25 08:02 PM
3

I mean, that certainly sounds like a way to make it fit your paradigm, but you’re just using your biases to redescribe a situation you weren’t present for. Arguments can serve many purposes for people and have many effects on people involved, but (1) you personally have absolutely no idea what those were and (2) arguments are still arguments even when someone has a power trip.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/25 07:54 PM
9

Where are you getting that percentage from other than from your felt impression of the world?
/r/ExRedPill17/07/25 06:56 PM
–

I have a ton of sympathy and empathy. In this era, dating sucks. It sucks differently for women and men on average, sucks for every individual differently, and is part of this huuuge society-wide decline of basic human connection and support. We need to just… see people again. Have a network of family and friends. Know our neighbors. Yes, that goes along with dating life being extra bullshit now, but it’s not exclusive to men (let alone ugly men, poor men, short men, etc.) romantic connections, …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 04:53 AM
–

Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 04:13 AM
1

Your own study says “Therefore, we see little evidence to suggest that the sexes differ in how well their stated preferences correlate with their in vivo preferences.” Their results, in other words, say that no one knows what they want, but that women and men seem basically equally wrong on that count. As for the examples on this subreddit, are you seeing women admit after the fact that they’re lying/were wrong about what they’re interested in? Or do you just think that you know better what thei…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 03:07 AM
0

Studies actually tend to show that women score higher on tests of introspection, lower on measures of self-esteem, and higher on measures of honesty. Where are you finding contradictory data?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 12:36 AM
4

About promotion of rape as natural and okay? Yeah I’m cool with being mad about that. The fact that it gets to be a joke to you doesn’t reduce the massive amounts of carnage and harm that people have to clean up later. I don’t get easily angered at all, but severe, painful, acute, lasting trauma being treated like a curiosity does it, yeah. Sit with a 60 year old woman having a devastating panic attack about her childhood rape as if it’s still happening and tell me that your comment wouldn’t pis…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 05:08 PM
2

What? No we don’t. If someone is looking for other options, they’re not ready for a relationship anyway. It doesn’t matter how easily they can find someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 04:53 PM
5

I appreciate you sharing your story. It’s interesting to hear your perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 04:51 PM
2

Does your wife understand that different people want different things than she does? Women literally get insulted, demeaned, and abandoned for making decisions about their bodies, whichever way it goes. Women will also make different decisions in different moments and still have a consistent self image to fall back on. I’ve had sex on the first date in one relationship and waited anywhere from four dates to a year in others, and I’m still content with myself lol. It’s not like waiting two dates …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 04:48 PM
4

No, the scientific term is rape. You don’t get to “animal kingdom” your way out of the fact that forcing someone to have sex with you is physically, psychologically, and societally damaging on a scale that you can’t understand unless you’ve gone through it. I work with people every single day who were raped and traumatized for decades because of it, even if they didn’t understand the meaning of sex, rape, or consent at the time. Gender doesn’t matter, duck copulation practices don’t excuse it, r…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 04:44 PM
4

Why would we lie? Genuinely, what would anyone have to gain by lying about their personal preference on an anonymous forum? Some women won’t want to wait, but many of us actively prefer someone who wants to take it slow. Women vary just like men do, and it’s not like moving slow and communicating is like garlic to a vampire. It’s just personal preference.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 04:38 PM
3

What the fuck? Is this a reference to sexual assault?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 04:25 PM
16

So I’m a bi woman, which I know might skew the data for some people, but I see absolutely no reason to care if a guy is bi. If someone is going to cheat, they’re going to find an excuse for it. That’s a character flaw, not a sexuality thing. We don’t accuse dudes who are into both redheads and blondes of not being able to “choose one and not have regrets” if they’re married to a blonde. I wouldn’t put it past some of the narratives on this subreddit, actually, but I’m not interested in someone w…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 02:41 AM
5

I think you would truly be surprised how many people have absolutely zero interest in cheating, even when given a free and clear opportunity.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 11:21 PM
2

How do you explain women who are mothers to babies and/or housewives? That’s pretty much a 24/7 routine of doing meaningless or undesirable work because it’s social duty.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 01:37 AM
1

I mean, those are still actions of individual women. They’re worth discussing in whatever form (especially since it’s 2025 and men shouldn’t still be expected to pay for dates as a baseline) but there’s a difference between that and complaining about the actions of all women or men because of the actions of a few. Beyond that though, zero pushback? Do you genuinely read the comments on this subreddit and see women as getting zero pushback? I was told this week on this sub that I’m whoring myself…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 01:22 PM
1

Sometimes. Sometimes people need to talk about it with peers who are going through the same thing though, or with people in their life who they want to understand them better. It’s important that “I feel so lonely and insecure because three girls rejected me in a row” doesn’t become a political call to action if it’s not hidden behind the walls of a therapy office.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 11:07 PM
1

I understand your perspective. It’s important to acknowledge though that that “choice” may literally have death, serious dismemberment or injury, extreme poverty, extreme danger, or complete excommunication from resources and normal life on the other side. Extreme coercion to stay in a toxic relationship isn’t nearly as rare as people think, considering that that’s how many of the relationships get perpetuated in the first place. The average amount of time it takes for abuse to emerge in a relat…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 08:13 PM
3

Agreed. There’s a lot more complexity than that, and people need to be able to talk about what they feel like they’re lacking in their lives without getting blamed for other, totally unrelated people blaming others for similar pain.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 08:01 PM
1

Would you call a relationship a privilege even if it’s a controlling, abusive one?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 06:59 PM
12

I would agree with that. I think that the conversation about male feelings of “entitlement” has gone farther than the actual entitlement ever extended. Yes, there are ways that it’s very necessary to bring up that men aren’t entitled to women’s attention. There are enough stories of men (and women, for that matter) who catcall, harass, grab, assault, and gaslight their way into intimacy that it’s a very relevant conversation in consent, relationships, and gender politics in general. We also need…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 05:21 PM
0

A healthy romantic relationship brings privilege, absolutely. I would say that some relationships have the reverse effect, but it’s worth the conversation in either case.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 05:04 PM
1

What situations are you thinking of in saying that?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 04:03 PM
30

He absolutely has it wrong, and follower count tells you nothing considering that you can buy hundreds of thousands of bot followers with about $40. Being an arrogant asshole is a dealbreaker for most women 100 times over. Most of my friends won’t even finish out the date with a guy if he’s an asshole to the waitress. Women vary, and no YouTuber can give you the magical secret to all women. Yes, there are anecdotal examples of individual people staying in abusive relationships, but you can find …
/r/ExRedPill07/07/25 11:23 PM
2

Why is your definition of love the only definition? People frequently give up huge amounts for friends, build their life around friends, even die for them. People give their friends kidneys and change the trajectories of their lives based on friends. I would say that that’s a beautiful, exact, poignant example of love, and couldn’t be accurately or fully described by any other term.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 06:32 PM
2

Lol. What a stunning misrepresentation of the life of two strangers based on almost no information. He doesn’t function based on what women need, first of all. He functions based on what I need, what he needs, and what we need as a couple. If he’s looking for a hot twenty year old, he would immediately cease to be what I need. I would have absolutely no desire for him based on having to prove my worth to him. I don’t dread him leaving, so I desire him. We joyfully and consciously choose each oth…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 06:29 PM
5

There’s a huuuuge difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/25 07:57 PM
6

He’s my best friend. He makes me feel comfortable, challenges me intellectually, builds a compatible life with me, laughs at the same things that I do, is nurturing, responsible, and steady, is there for me when I need him, and is so trustworthy that I never doubt him. I don’t think of the word ‘dread’ in relation to him in the slightest, which is why I’m still attracted to him and in love with him after a very long time.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/25 02:54 AM
6

According to what source? Because, as a woman, ew god no. No. No. If I dread something that i believe the guy might do, I stay a million miles away. Absolutely fucking not. I can’t imagine any emotion turning me off faster than dread.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 11:20 PM
3

How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 11:18 PM
3

There is absolutely platonic love and intimacy. There’s copious proof of it, whether anecdotal, literary, scientific, experiential, societal, whatever. Why do you think it doesn’t exist?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 05:28 PM
5

What? What does dread possibly have to do with attraction? To me they’re mutually exclusive. I would absolutely never sleep with a guy unless I felt safe around him. That’s requirement number one.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 04:52 PM
4

Does platonic love require sexual attraction for you?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 04:50 PM
9

Every single person out there is a glaring exception to at least one ‘rule’. The more people you meet and truly get to know in real life, the harder it is to believe that people can be predicted by such arbitrary and limited generalizations. People who truly think that all men are evil or women are incapable of love or whatever haven’t experienced enough of humanity.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 03:59 PM
7

The sad thing is that many do take it seriously. Ideologies like this are fomented more easily than it seems.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 03:56 PM
2

So is your perspective that humans in general find manipulation and abuse to be natural instincts?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 06:31 AM
50

This page is just weird over generalized conspiracies. Pretty much solely. This is a particularly weird one too. I have tons of male friends, many of whom struggle to date, all of whom I have absolutely no interest in dating. Jesus. Just go outside.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 05:49 PM
1

Because people confide in each other in real life, and express their true feelings and intentions through their actions. People out there stay married to one person for fifty years. People write poetry about their deepest fears and beliefs. Police basically wait for certain prolific serial killers to confess, because it’s so hard for humans to hide their true selves from their loved ones, their surroundings, and even the public. If you’re close with people in the real world, you know how hard it…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 01:41 AM
1

Women are humans. Humans. Not some weird mythical monster who does nothing but use emotions as weapons.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 01:33 AM
2

The only disgusting thing about sexuality is when it violates consent or reduces someone’s humanity. That’s disgusting regardless of gender, and yes, includes a lot of the dehumanizing porn, a man ogling a woman in public when we can tell that he’s considering grabbing us, a woman being over the top disgusting about a dude in the office who’s wearing tight pants, whatever. Other than that, do literally whatever you want. I truly could not care less about your sexuality if you’re not inflicting i…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 01:30 AM
1

Why would I want to achieve social dominance over you? How does my comment indicate that I want that? We can’t avoid insecurity. None of us can. I can try to open a conversation about something that’s meaningful to me, but how you respond is up to you. Believe it or not, I’m not trying to manipulate you, criticize you, or browbeat you into being someone you’re not. These corners of the internet are just such shitholes that I firmly believe the only thing we can do to bring humanity back to them …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 12:02 AM
1

I absolutely understand, and I have all the empathy in the world for you. Even if it sounds fake or forced at first, you have to keep telling yourself that the internet isn’t the real world. Algorithms designed to keep you angry and scrolling combined with only extreme opinions getting views combined with people stealing your data to sell you things combined with all opinions being weighted the same? It’s an absolute disaster zone. Human life in the real world is often boring, normal, kind, vari…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 02:11 AM
1

Dear lord, no. Absolutely not. That sounds terrible. Love is unique, special, and exhausting. If I fell in love with every attractive guy out there, I would l never get out of bed. I’ve been in love with two men in my life. One of them was about 5’6”. The other one is tall, but was in my life for almost a decade before I fell for him, with absolutely no romantic or sexual interest on either of our parts beforehand. Both made less than I do, which I actively prefer. I mean this so genuinely and k…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 02:07 AM
1

So far you’re the only one on here I see mentioning dick size. Considering how many women couldn’t give less of a shit about dick size or actively prefer small ones, I think your chances are just fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 01:33 AM
2

None of that is true of me. Am I lying about being a woman or am I too stupid to know my own mind? I’m curious to know your perspective, especially since I’m a stranger to you and you don’t know the first thing about me.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 01:30 AM
6

I use analogies like a congregation in a hurricane uses prayers. Just because you encounter a few people with something in common doesn’t mean that something’s gendered. I don’t peoplewatch at the town pool and then assume that every child will smell like chlorine for the rest of my life. Maybe you’re just attracting dense people.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 12:54 AM
1

I understand your perspective and appreciate you sharing. I have to disagree so strongly though. Everyone’s the hero in their own story. Everyone who breaks things thinks that they’re doing so to fix something. I work with so many clients who say “my mom/dad thought they were criticizing me to prepare me for a harsh world, but literally no one was ever that harsh to me. They were my worst bullies by far”. Every harsh parent or teacher or friend or partner thinks they’re pushing someone to be ind…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 11:37 PM
2

I definitely understand that. Hopelessness seems like the main option right now. Out of curiosity, is there a society or era that you see as largely not fucked up? Do you see pain as the stepping stone to get there in those cases? I personally see compassion, applied knowledge, and empathy as the common elements in the places that I idealize, whether they’re small scale or large scale systems. In other words, places that minimize the pain wherever possible. If you disagree I’m interested to hear…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 10:37 PM
2

Tons of things teach. Experience, empathy, perspective, trial and error, reflection, effort, teachers. Etc. Pain is just an alarm bell, and I don’t think anyone needs another alarm bell right now. We’re all absolutely panicked, so a painful reset would, what? Indicate to us that we need a reset? Nope. It’s on my list but I haven’t gotten to read it yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 10:18 PM
1

I prefer the best friend model of things. I’m not going to say that none of the things I like in my partner fall along traditional gender roles, but I view that as more of a coincidence than a need for polarization. Some of the things that are absolute requirements for me in a relationship break the gender role expectations completely. I’m afraid of bugs and dislike taking out the garbage, so I appreciate a man (or woman) who can do both for me, which I know are traditionally masculine things to…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 10:12 PM
2

I mean, that’s just a saying. It’s contradicted by pretty much all of the actual facts out there. I’m a trauma therapist, and I can tell you that the human brain stops learning completely when it’s in pain. We can learn avoidance or aggression, but we don’t learn problem solving, perspective, new approaches, new information, emotional wellness, coping, etc. Kids don’t learn why something they do is wrong when they get hit. They learn to avoid their parent when they’re angry, to solve problems wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 09:56 PM
0

Why does the reset have to be hurtful?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 09:02 PM
5

So as a therapist who works with a LOT of clients who have childhood sexual trauma, I would absolutely, 1000% disagree with the statement “Every man who tells you that you’re mature for your age is a groomer.” For example, people with trauma of all kinds often present as both older and younger than their actual age. As one of a hundred basic counterexamples, “you’re mature for your age” can be a clinical observation that someone is presenting in a way that is borderline unhealthily mature, indic…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/25 07:00 PM
1

Jesus Christ, no. Shit is about twenty thousand times less clinical and over-dissected in real life than it is on gender-overanalyzed subreddits. Either I’m interested in someone or I’m not. That often doesn’t correlate to objective attractiveness and is more likely to be directly eliminated by wealth (guys who try to buy their affection creep me the fuck out) than to be dependent on it. From there, either it’s sustainable long term or it’s not. That’s it. Three universal categories?? What type …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/25 10:17 PM
–

You’re viewing all women as a single entity while talking about individual accountability, and still don’t see the irony.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/25 07:14 PM
–

I don’t think you’d find a single person who’s not staunchly and defensively redpill who would say that accountability is a redpill trait. It honestly frustrates me immensely how little redpill genuinely pushes accountability for everyone’s own actions. The accountability I see redpill adding is like, asking a totally unrelated woman to be responsible for someone else being a gold digger.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/25 07:12 PM
–

Feel free to link the research, since AI is notoriously unreliable and my own multiple deep dives into the topic have shown no convincing evidence of hypergamy.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 10:02 PM
–

That’s not a topic where an objective answer is measurable. Being “reasonable” is a subjective value judgement that can be operationally defined as any one of a million different combinations of traits, which could easily skew masculine, feminine, or neither.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 10:00 PM
–

Any AI software is being trained on internet platforms that really only started using the term ‘hypergamous’ about humans when redpill ideologies popped up about it. The language learning model is going to hear language from, for instance, all of the many redpill posts, and learn from it. If you think that chat gpt can’t parrot incorrect information that’s frequently repeated on the internet, you haven’t been paying attention to the news.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 09:54 PM
1

I absolutely agree, and well-phrased. The fact that men and women’s gender egalitarian movements have developed so separately is probably the biggest hinderance to their efficacy. I have stood by the term “toxic masculinity” because I think it’s important to everyone to have a term recognizing that exact set of gender norms and the harm they do to society, but I think the conversation would already have progressed SO much farther if it were called something else. I worry that “Toxic male gender …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 12:32 AM
2

Original hypothesis: tell me how “this sample of women prefer an average length of ___ inches” = “when women tell you that they’re not in the exact center of a statistical average, they’re morons or lying”.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 12:22 AM
2

I understand your point, and I agree with pretty much all of it. The linguistics of it trip us all up in trying to remain on the same page, which frustrates me since I think all but the most extreme on either side probably agree on most things. I’ve long wanted to start a gender neutral “down with restrictive gender norms” page, but one of the biggest things holding me back is the marketing of it all. We’re so convinced that we’re on opposite sides that the conversation is so rarely cordial. Tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 12:20 AM
1

I would agree with that! Do you think that “male toxic gender norms” would specify the ones imposed on men well enough while still not taking the blaming tone?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 12:16 AM
–

You’re barking up a totally incorrect tree lol. I have a super high libido and am bisexual, so I literally am checking women out sometimes. I say that not to deflect, but to emphasize the point I brought up in my other comment on the main thread. We have to judge things on an individual basis. Bioessentialism isn’t you personally wanting to check out a woman’s ass, it’s the world assuming either that you’re a pervert who can’t stop yourself from grabbing it because you’re a man OR that I’m not i…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 08:02 PM
–

You think you’ll be hated for being a man or for being horny? Because like, if I’m personally trying to represent feminists, I don’t hate you for either. If you’re a shithead about either, I might get kinda miffed.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 05:59 PM
–

I think that this is one of many, many discussions on here that needs to be able to be split along the divide of population vs individual. Personally, I’m a staunch feminist, egalitarian (yes, I firmly believe they’re the same thing if applied correctly. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t) and leftist. I wouldn’t never debate that, for instance, men have more upper body strength on average. They obviously do. If you put the entire population of men on earth in a lifting competition against the entir…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 05:20 PM
3

So it’s important to note that the term was originally developed by men’s movements in the 1980s to contrast positive and “hegemonic” masculinity from toxic and restrictive masculinity, and was used mostly to discuss things like men’s mental health and how toxic masculine traits restricted men from accessing the help that they need. It’s not originally a feminist, anti-men term at all, which is not to say that it hasn’t warped over time in some circles. I definitely understand your objections, a…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/25 06:30 AM
2

Absolutely. The way men’s emotions get minimized and squashed is horrifically unjust, and it’s undeniable that women play a huge role in upholding the patriarchal systems. That’s why it’s crucial to recognize that the patriarchy doesn’t mean “men maliciously causing everything,” it means “the harmful system that forces men to be dominant at all costs and women to be submissive at all costs.” I’m not sure if you think that I’m saying something different here, but there’s no reason to exculpate or…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/25 06:00 AM
1

Why do you say it’s more accurate? Misandry would imply weakness and inferiority on behalf of the men, when much of the forces traditionally called toxic masculinity demand that the man appears strong no matter what would actually benefit him in the moment. I agree that we could stand to rebrand it, but “internalized misandry” strikes me as even more misleading and debatable in content.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/25 05:51 AM
8

Yes. That’s what I’m saying. People cry totally different amounts on an individual level. That needs to be okay, independent of what rules people want to force on them because of their gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 09:46 AM
5

I understand where you’re coming from. The language makes it sounds like an attribution issue, which I know is one of the general concerns with the term “toxic masculinity” in general. “Toxic masculinity” is just the name for the systematic societal pressure that promises not being a Real Man™️ as the consequence for deviating. Masculinity itself isn’t the problem, but the term “toxic masculinity” makes the line seem more blurred than it should. I don’t think many people would disagree if the sl…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 09:34 AM
6

To be clear, I’m not labeling men as toxic for not crying. I’m labeling the system that shames them for crying as toxic. Men should be allowed to cry whenever it’s helpful, given that crying is a natural and healthy way to deal with emotion. If any random man cries less than any random woman, that’s obviously fine. My whole point is that we need to not try to force anyone to cry OR not cry because of a bullshit, arbitrarily restrictive gender role, not that men should cry exactly once weekly or …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 09:24 AM
14

Toxic masculinity usually stems from a patriarchal societal expectation. It’s not like people imbued with testosterone don’t cry, for example, but society shames them if they do.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 09:08 AM
1

I’m questioning the validity of the original hypotheses to your claims, and have done so repeatedly and clearly. Again, I’m not specifically contesting the statistical analysis of either study. They just don’t prove your point. You’re continuously dancing around my actual objections by trying to make me clarify something that I’m not claiming. Stop deflecting and tell me how “this sample of women prefer an average length of ___ inches” = “when women tell you that they’re not in the exact center …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 04:16 AM
1

So do you not understand how your presented evidence does nothing to prove that all/most women are lying or dumbly incorrect about their own preferences? That’s still the core conversation here.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 01:32 AM
1

That’s correct. Did you have a follow up question or something?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 11:35 PM
1

Your own statistics show a large variety of preferences. They also do not have the exact same samples, generalized population, or prompt as a single post on a single subreddit answered by however many women. This subreddit is not a representative or stratified sample of any population, and response bias is relevant to consider as well. Far more relevant than that is the fact that none of the statistics speak to the honesty of respondents, let alone any individual respondent. Statistics measure p…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 11:01 PM
-1

That doesn’t dispute my point in the slightest. You haven’t met any of those individual women. You have absolutely no idea how reliable they are. Quite literally the only thing you know about their preferences is what they’ve commented, and a totally unrelated woman lying at a different time doesn’t change that.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 10:24 PM
1

I mean, no. You haven’t watched me lie about it. You’ve never met me and have no idea what I personally think or say about the penises of random men who you also haven’t met. That’s much of my point— if you’ve encountered women who either lack introspection, lied maliciously, or didn’t feel comfortable telling you the truth, that sucks. Truly and noncombatively, that sucks. That doesn’t represent all of us though, and using a few women at random to determine that all of us are liars or are too s…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 10:11 PM
3

How on earth are you watching women comment on thread after thread that they don’t care and don’t want a large dick and still using it to prove your pre-decided bias that women are liars? You’re so committed to your perspective that you’re being utterly illogical. I read your comment and initially thought you were confirming what so many women say super openly.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 02:54 PM
2

I think you and I agree on a lot of this, honestly. I agree that feelings are feelings and we can’t control or stop how we feel about another person. Friendships and relationships are complicated and form for all kinds of reasons. If feelings change, both people need to be respectful in approaching that, changing the terms of the friendship if needed. Honesty is important though, and I think it’s a disservice to a lot of people to judge all friendships and potential friends by the actions of the…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/25 05:38 PM
2

Absolutely. I’m in a long term relationship that started as a long term friendship. It developed organically over a span of years though, and attraction wasn’t a factor in me being friends with him in the first place. It’s okay if the terms of a relationship change over time. It’s not okay for someone to take the terms of friendship and turn that into an automatic expectation for something more.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/25 05:25 PM
1

I like your flair
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/25 04:04 PM
7

The whole conversation stems from women not wanting to be desired by their platonic friends, because that’s not why we’re friends with them. Looks aren’t everything and romance shouldn’t be assumed or demanded. That’s the whole point. I have male friends who aren’t attractive to me, but I don’t think that people are any less human or worthy of friendship because they’re single. I trust them to be adults and view friendship as friendship and treat me like a human in response. For me, it works gre…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/25 04:50 AM
1

So I took a break from this subreddit for a few days, but I’m happy to answer that. I’m not sure I understand the question though. Other than disproving hypergamy, what specifically are you asking?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/25 01:06 AM
1

If I had been alive in the 1880s or the 1970s, I can assure you I would have been tired of the gender war then too. If feminism hadn’t built women up, I wouldn’t be the breadwinner of my household with a job that I love. I wouldn’t be able to vote or go to college. I’m happy to keep working on the areas where men don’t have enough rights, but to act like feminism hasn’t benefitted women is disingenuous.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/25 04:20 PM
3

It’s funny because you’re literally making me think of my friend’s ex. I was surprised by the balding since we were in college at the time, but otherwise no. It’s also not like that affected how good he was as a person, I just didn’t expect that from a 20 year old.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/25 02:51 PM
0

I’m tired because no one is winning. It’s pointless division and self-imposed limitations for people of every gender with absolutely no payoff.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/25 02:49 PM
14

Everyone does. Our experiences literally shape our neuroanatomy. Childhood trauma shapes it even more so, whatever your gender. This isn’t directed at this comment in particular, but I’m so tired of this dumb fucking gender war.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/25 12:34 AM
42

If this subreddit made a “no unfairly overgeneralizing an entire half of the population based on like two anecdotes” rule, the whole site would shut down.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 11:08 PM
2

A basic account of the responsibilities that we ask women to take as potential victims isn’t a “trauma story”. I was asking you a question about what we would change given an example of existing parameters. If you saw that as a trauma story, you may be seeing those precautions as far more emotionally impactful than I was representing them, which is telling in itself. We were talking rationally, and I planned to continue.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 10:11 PM
2

I haven’t been personally saying that, so I don’t know, but my guess would be that women are hurt by men in their life and it affects their opinion of other single men. Many people who later show abusive behaviors come across as the nicest, sweetest person initially, because that’s how they’re able to get close to their victim. I’ve seen women meet a guy who seems good who later turns out to be abusive (I.e. NOT good) who then distrust their own impressions of other men in the future. Beyond tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 09:43 PM
3

What behavior do you see as both unaddressed and relevant in victims? As a kid and teenager, I got coached in being assertive, moving in numbers, checking my backseat before I get into the car, only going places with people I trust, letting someone know where I am at all times, choosing the right person, etc. I got told how to dress to prevent being assaulted, and literally got a rape whistle as a birthday gift when I was like 8. Court cases around the world still get decided by things like the …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 09:36 PM
5

To chime in, I would definitely assume that “good” guy meant morals. Hot is a totally different category, and I would ask about whether he was a good person long before I would ask what he looked like. The man that you describe would be a good man, whatever he looks like.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 09:22 PM
1

Why not ask women how they actually define a good man instead of assuming? Good lord like, why would “good” include rich? I’m more likely to think a man is an asshole who’s not worth my time if he’s rich, honestly. Tall also has absolutely nothing to do with “good.” I would personally define a good man as one who’s kind, empathetic, contributes to making the world better in the way that he values, isn’t biased or bigoted, treats people with respect, doesn’t act selfishly at the expense of others…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 09:20 PM
2

That’s an enormously broad question. Do you mean the assaulted or the assaulted? In general, I think we still place too much blame on the person who experiences the assault. Many people still don’t literally know that men can be physically aroused while still refusing sex, for example. We need to educate about informed consent, physiology, etc. in places we’re not. I think that ‘implied consent’ shouldn’t be a thing, and that we still have a ways to go before we have a truly mutually respectful …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 09:14 PM
3

If you’re talking about sexual assault, I’ve never worked with a sexual assault victim of either gender who didn’t, on some levels, blame themselves. Treating someone who’s experienced sexual assault, the priority in those moments is always some combination of getting the person to take responsibility for getting to a safer environment if possible (I.e. get out of the abusive relationship) and to stop blaming themselves for someone else’s unreasonable actions. There’s a difference between blamin…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 09:02 PM
6

Where do you believe there’s a breakdown in accountability then? If someone of any gender is so self conscious/self aware that they’re apologizing for standing too close to a stranger, I usually see that translate into them being equally apologetic in other areas. Why would someone (or a whole group of someones) be so contrite in one situation and so lacking in accountability in another?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 07:56 PM
5

My guy, you’re overgeneralizing with no evidence. I make it a point to apologize for at least one thing in every argument with my partner, even if I’m coming to him with something that he did wrong, because I don’t believe a relationship can work unless both people are truly and deeply analyzing their role and responsibility in the situation. And because you’re responding to others on these threads with “I didn’t ask for an anecdote, your anecdotes don’t matter,” what about the studies and examp…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 06:15 PM
3

Women vary. This “women have no accountability/all women want to avoid blame” thing is a stereotype designed to take the nuance away from a very complicated situation and pretend like all women are the same and lack certain basic human functions like apologies and problem solving. We don’t. Ironically, this mindset hinders women being held accountable, because if no woman can accept blame or solve a problem because we’re “just not built like that,” no one’s going to be pushed (or permitted) to s…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 06:06 PM
2

Gotcha. I appreciate the clarification and definitely agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 05:47 PM
2

What do you see the distinction being here? Do you think this commenter in particular is toxic or hypocritical? Or are you equating one of the movements on here with that kind of attitude in general?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 05:43 PM
3

I definitely see those people on here. I agree with you on that. People on all sides on this subreddit get emotional and aggressive and condescending, hurting everyone’s points. Places like r/exredpill are usually better, and feel like people are trying to work together to address the feelings and logic of it all.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 05:42 PM
-1

We provide evidence and logical, well-reasoned counterarguments all the time. I’m happy to have a discussion about the facts with you at any time, as, I’m sure, are many blue pill people on here. You can also feel free to scroll back in my comments or in the comments on other posts here, because there are tons of people using evidence to point out the logical flaws with redpill’s rhetoric. Do you have something in particular that you’re struggling to find evidence for?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 05:35 PM
2

Absolutely. I think it’s just as important to try to walk in someone else’s shoes as it is to acknowledge that we can never truly achieve that. Everyone has a different experience. Even your comment, for example, and I don’t say this to be contrary, was wrong about some fundamental parts of my experience. My current relationship was initiated by me, as were a couple of previous ones. Multiple times, I’ve initiated by indicating I was into the person and stepped back for a sec to let them decide.…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 05:24 PM
2

You guys never have data to prove that “nice guys never get the girl.” You have people who are nice and who have been rejected, and people who aren’t nice who have gotten women in the past. A nice and normal guy who’s in a relationship isn’t going to shout it to the redpill blog heavens, he’s just going to be in a relationship. I’m in a relationship with a nice, moral, kind, decent, guy. Those are my minimum requirements, and I’m ultimately with him because he doesn’t display red flags (he would…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 04:06 AM
–

This is biased. Many men are great problem solvers in relationships. Many men are terrible problem solvers in relationships. Sometimes one person’s “solution” doesn’t look like a solution to the other person. Men aren’t a monolith, just like women aren’t a monolith. Address the people who your point applies to, not everyone with a dick.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 02:33 AM
6

Male advocacy absolutely exists (in some places) without misogyny, and I think it’s unfair to men to claim that the two are the same. Like, let’s advocate for the draft to be abolished without equating that to the people on here who go on tirades claiming that women don’t feel love of all things. Male advocacy can be misogynistic or absolutely the opposite. It can’t all be considered in one category just like “male tears” mugs aren’t on a level with women’s suffrage.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 02:27 AM
20

Because I firmly believe that redpill, black pill, etc. are the result of people finding extreme and dangerously inaccurate answers to some questions that hurt to not have answers for. The movements seem friendly and innocuous at first, but internet algorithms and influencers trying to sell things drive an aggressive “Only I’m looking out for you. You can’t trust them. Everything they’re saying is a lie” message that lures people in like abusers do. Are all women evil, loveless whores who are on…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 02:24 AM
2

Again, have you literally heard most women in your life say that? Because I would say the exact opposite, as would every woman in my life that I can think of. If we’re using anecdotal evidence and personal experience, being lied to is an absolute dealbreaker for me, and I’m not alone in that.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/25 05:05 PM
2

Do you have empirical evidence for that? Because I imagine that anecdotal evidence is probably what you’re using here.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 11:22 PM
3

That’s a huge generalization. Do you think that all women like being lied to?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 09:09 PM
10

Aren’t all people fundamentally different in huge ways though? I have male friends who I have more in common with than any female friend, especially in certain categories. I could comment on the difficulty of finding similarities with a female friend of mine who has divorced parents, one who grew up speaking another language, one who didn’t go to college, or any other person who’s had different experiences that I have. At a certain point though, having friends is about sharing experiences and pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 09:08 PM
1

I wasn’t implying that you mentioned abuse or intended an “all men are perfect” thing. I know you didn’t mention either of those. I do personally think that a relationship where one person can’t express their full range of emotions is toxic though (as long as they’re not directly harmful expressions of those emotions), and I would stand by that regardless of the genders involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/25 01:17 AM
1

I’m sorry you’ve had the experiences that have led you to think that way, but that’s 3000% not true. Abusive women and toxic relationships don’t eliminate the wonderful, healthy, emotionally open women and relationships, just like toxic men don’t represent all men.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/25 06:13 PM
1

Honestly girl? I’m truly having the time of my life. I love my career and couldn’t imagine being happier than I am right now with a man who’s better at taking care of the household stuff. He contributes a ton, as do I, and it works for us. You should feel free to seek out what works for you, as should everyone. No one deserves to be shamed for not meeting arbitrary rules that force people into boxes based on gender rather than happiness or contribution. I feel the absolute opposite of shackled b…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/25 06:10 PM
1

The original claim was that women earning more would “end marriage for good,” which is also not even close to supported by the data. Yes, many women still want to not be the breadwinner. Even if that makes up the majority, though, it takes a hell of a lot of jumped conclusions to get from “many women want a man who makes more than them” to “women will dominate every prestigious career soon and end marriage for good.” Among the other possibilities: maybe we look at the fact that a majority of Ame…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/25 06:01 PM
4

God, this comment is such a good illustration that stereotypes are completely arbitrary. I’ve never seen anything but “women aren’t as able to follow structure and don’t have the peer pressure to perform or the desire to achieve status and prestige” used to justify that we don’t fit in the workplace, and you’re flipping it on its head as if everyone knows that all women are worker drones meant to bring home the bacon. What a weird moment. People vary, by the way. Some women and men want to work …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/25 04:19 PM
2

That doesn’t even exist in the same stratosphere as the feminist rhetoric lol
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/25 04:09 PM
1

Sure, but that’s not directly analogous to the whole concept of marriage “exploding,” even if we limit the discussion to marriage with kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/25 03:07 PM
1

You can think that, but that doesn’t mean it’s true or even close to universal.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/25 02:47 PM
1

Evidence? I can think of about ten marriages in my own experience that break this rule already.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/25 02:46 PM
4

There have been love connections for millennia. There have also been forced marriages that superseded those love connections for millennia, since marriages have been used as political deals, statements of value, religious offerings, financial partnerships, prisons, inevitabilities, career moves, etc. When a woman is literally not allowed to own land or have money and would be homeless if she wasn’t living on her father, husband, or brother’s land, it doesn’t mean she can’t feel love. It does mea…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/25 02:41 PM
1

Idgi. Is the joke that women don’t experience the full range of basic human emotions?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/25 02:29 PM
1

lol I’m literally a hardworking women currently dating an unemployed man. My best friend is looking into her second post-bachelor degree while with a man who’s underemployed and has nothing more than a high school diploma. Both relationships are long term and very happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/25 02:28 PM
28

The fact that we already have copious relationships where women are the breadwinners would imply that the concept of marriage doesn’t proportionately explode when women don’t need men for money. Your premise is only even slightly plausible if women are loveless monsters who care about nothing but leeching a man dry of money. Has it occurred to you that, now that we can earn our own money, marriage has been able to achieve a far purer and more organically loving, cooperative form? I’m literally c…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/25 08:00 AM
1

The impact of something theoretically traumatic depends on a lot of things. Resilience factors vary by the person just like triggers do, so two different people can experience the exact same thing and have very different impacts from it. There are people of both genders who have stories exactly like yours where something traumatizing happens to them and it’s absolutely fine and doesn’t affect them at all. I also hear people of both genders relive the impact from something that’s hypothetically n…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/25 07:48 AM
5

It doesn’t break down that easily. Many people are traumatized by numerous others in their lives, and trying to measure the impact of a stepmom vs an ex boyfriend vs a shitty friend is difficult on any real kind of scale, especially if you’re not just talking about sexual trauma. I’ve also worked in a few settings that were working disproportionately with male or female clients or people with certain kinds of backgrounds, so trying to draw some kind of generalizable conclusion really doesn’t wor…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/25 08:24 AM
4

I’m sorry for your experience. That’s not therapeutic in the slightest, and I imagine it made a lot of things worse for you. If you have a therapist acting that unprofessionally, it’s reasonable to report them. People who have been through trauma need validation, support, care, psychoeducation, and a whole host of other things that aren’t “bashing them into the ground and telling them to get a grip.” Any good therapist will work through that kind of experience with them compassionately and profe…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/25 08:18 AM
9

Nope. Absolutely not. This is such a dangerous way to think about something so serious and traumatizing. I’m a therapist, and I’ve worked with both victims and perpetrators of sexual assault. Violation is violation, and men experience horrific things they don’t consent to just like women do. They’re not less traumatized because they have different genitals, of all things. I don’t give a shit if this is bait. This can’t sit on here unchecked. From someone who works very specifically and frequentl…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/25 06:18 AM
4

I definitely agree that everyone has to work towards a fulfilling life for themselves.
/r/ExRedPill23/05/25 02:32 AM
5

What do you mean about female lawyers? I don’t understand. And you have the right to believe what you want, but I’ve always thought that the idea that literal human value is gendered is horrific. Both men and women (especially men) deserve better than that. We have absolutely no way to prove the concept of “human value,” and pretty much every other philosophy treats it as something either innate to everyone or imaginary. I much prefer that idea so that men don’t get dehumanized from birth becaus…
/r/ExRedPill23/05/25 12:59 AM
5

We’re humans. We work hard for the same things that you do. Loving, lasting relationships with healthy communication. Healthy friendships. First dates. Ninth dates. Jobs, chores, mental health, physical health, longevity, parenting, marriage, self-awareness, knowledge, education, emotional intelligence, hobbies, financial stability, skills, projects, balance, and fulfillment. If you start fitting women into a separate category from the regular, real, hardworking, flawed, ultimately well-meaning …
/r/ExRedPill23/05/25 12:32 AM
10

I’m proud of you for snapping out of it!! It’s impressive to reverse something like this when the ideology swallows so many. It’s okay to work with your wife to work out the problems more directly. You were clearly seeking a solution, so couples therapy, open conversations, etc. may be helpful to address things in a healthy way. Truly, kudos on recognizing a harmful path before you were too far along it to go back. You’ve got this.
/r/ExRedPill22/05/25 08:30 PM
10

You’re relying on stereotypes instead of reality to make your points here. It’s easy to believe the manosphere points because of a few women who fit the bill, but there are numerous, countless, frequent exceptions to the rule. Women struggle with loneliness and rejection too. Men sometimes play games and get easy, effortless hookups that they treat too lightly too. Take a step back for a second and really evaluate this. I mean this kindly and directly— doesn’t “women never have to work for anyth…
/r/ExRedPill22/05/25 08:28 PM
1

“In their DNA” is functionally meaningless given how often we all defy evolutionary trends. Many women are lesbians, asexual, or into a totally different type of man than you’re representing here. Redpill isn’t preventing young men from being set up for failure. It’s telling some men that they’re failures, losers, hopeless, and doomed from the start, and telling others to betray who they actually are to trick themselves and others into an ill-suited relationship that will fall apart once the cra…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 05:06 PM
3

This kind of argument is meaningless if you ignore all counterexamples. No, many of us absolutely don’t. I’ve ended things with people who tried to be an “alpha male” before and I won’t hesitate to again if I ever need to. I know many, many women who have and will do the same. Everyone is different, and confirmation bias doesn’t prove absolute truth when there’s glaring and frequent evidence to the contrary.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 03:20 PM
–

You’re falling into a redpill trap here, and you’re closer to defeating your own point than proving it. There are multiple cognitive distortions in the extremity of your language here. No, EVERY woman is not DEMANDING that men be ‘superior to her in every way.’ There are infinite anecdotal exceptions to women wanting all of those things in men, and ‘superior’ is definitely not a concept that’s wholly proven by something as arbitrary as confidently abusing someone in the bedroom. With that kind o…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 01:47 PM
2

Seems like you nailed the communication on that one, then. Kudos!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 11:24 PM
2

What do you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 05:49 PM
1

I won’t invalidate your experiences or those of the people around you. It sucks to see and experience the loneliness that rejection brings. I’m sorry for what you’ve been through and seen other people go through. It’s also important, though, to remember that generalizing universal rules based on individual experiences is one of the biggest logical fallacies out there. Psychopaths, for instance, are known to be charming, manipulative, and convincingly charismatic. It’s the Machiavellianism part o…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 05:48 PM
3

Your feed is lying to you. We absolutely do not, and I’m not saying that because I have anything to gain by having what I know is a hopeless argument with you right now. Yes, there are some women who end up in a relationship with that kind of guy, but it’s not universal in the slightest. Things aren’t more true just because they’re more negative— blind skepticism and hate sell, so they mislead you with the shit that gets you angry enough to keep consuming. It’s easy to find or make up cases that…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 05:55 AM
1

I mean this kindly, but it might be helpful for you to look up cognitive distortions. Humans are more complicated than “all ___ act this way 100% of the time,” no matter who the ___ is. Women absolutely do NOT universally do something as fucked up as emotionally testing their partners or dumping them when they cry. That type of shit is a dealbreaker for many of us like it is for many men, because we’re capable of basic moral reasoning and compassion. Women are going to keep coming on here and te…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 05:30 AM
3

There’s a difference between recognizing the value of community, being open to perspectives, and various people having different types of intelligence and intuition (important) and the idea that gender is the key factor in being able to recognize a liar (not true). I still have an uncle telling my female cousin that she should get back with her ex that treated her terribly because he “seemed like a nice guy” and a male relative who’s “absolutely shocked” that a couple got divorced despite consta…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 03:46 AM
6

Sure. Dating and bad choices and bad actors should be dealt with on an individual basis just like anything else. We can’t deal with all men like they’re menacing potential abusers, and we can’t write off all women as deserving of any man as soon as she signs on a dotted line and gets trapped. Some women make bad choices they should have been able to see coming, some women get tricked by a man who seems genuine and fine until it’s too late, and some men do each of the same. We need to value both …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 02:42 AM
5

We absolutely want a solution, but its not effective to have the solution be ‘men keep us safe’. History has proven that since most of the restrictions placed on women in the past have been about maintaining our safety and protecting us from harm. ‘Solutions’ in the past have included preventing women from having bank accounts, preventing women from choosing a husband, making women cover up so that men won’t be tempted by their bodies, making women stay inside unless they have a male escort, or …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 02:26 AM
2

I think it’s relevant to say here that I’ve literally never seen a Reddit thread about a female teacher raping a male student that didn’t include some “ooh lucky guy” comments— EXCEPT for on feminist threads. Feminist subreddits 1000% have their problems, but that shit Does. Not. Fly. on there. Are there women who use feminism or “girl power” to justify abusing the men in their lives? Absolutely, but abusers use whatever they can to justify abuse. I’ve never ever seen a feminist environment that…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 01:39 AM
29

Absolutely. We need community, shared responsibility for the commons, authentic, in person friendships, third spaces, and shared causes that people want to fight together for. Everyone is lonely right now. Women are lonely too, and being objectified by strangers at a higher rate than most men doesn’t change that. That being said, men are hitting such a breaking point because we’ve limited the ways that men socialize so severely that many men have no idea how to make authentic connections without…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 04:24 PM
5

I wouldn’t be ardently bluepill and feminist if I didn’t loathe the shit that redpill is inflicting on both men and women today. I can’t speak for every single feminist out there just like you can’t speak for every single man, but I’m a feminist to fight for everyone, including men. Many of us care deeply about righting the wrongs that gender inequality is causing. Men are being absolutely destroyed by this useless divide just like women are, and our work isn’t done until gender roles and discri…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 04:05 PM
2

That’s a very common generalization among redpill men, sure, but isn’t even close to universally true. Even since the 1800s, female suffragists were demanding to get arrested in protests when police tried to “give them a pass” as poor helpless women who didn’t know any better. As I said elsewhere in this thread, current feminist movements are pretty unanimous on abolishing the draft, but on requiring it regardless of gender if it has to be in place. Women have also been fighting for decades to b…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 05:22 PM
1

You need to wake up and look around. The internet is not real life. Go find a single woman out there who would say that Jordan Peterson is worse than Harvey Weinstein and report back. Neil Gaiman has been borderline scrubbed from any Internet forums that used to support him. There are horrific, evil, terrible people out there who have never claimed to be feminists and who have never been taken as such, but that doesn’t fit your narrative. Seriously. Take a walk. Talk to a real woman in your life…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 06:16 AM
4

You’re completely right, and people really don’t understand that. I once had a man expound empathetically, intelligently and genuinely about how important it is that men don’t betray a woman’s trust or consent by doing something like lying about condoms— WHILE LITERALLY TRYING TO SLIP THE CONDOM OFF TO HAVE SEX WITH ME AGAINST MY WILL. He truly thought that he could monologue all of the right words and get to do whatever he wanted. This of course was after several dates and many conversations as…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 04:38 AM
5

I never implied that average men are anything like that, OR that I would ever let that kind of person (male or female) be in my social circle after knowing that they would do that. I’m talking about the fact that an ordinary person who attends a school, works at a customer facing job, goes on first dates, or walks on a street encounters thousands of people in the course of an ordinary couple of weeks. If we encounter even one person out of tens of thousands who thinks that kind of violation is o…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 04:10 PM
7

As I said, the military is one example. It’s horrifyingly unfair and I stand for equal draft of the sexes just like every feminist I know (yes, I will say that again— every feminist I know and every one I’ve seen on feminist groups stands for an equal draft.), but I still see it as a single example among many many examples of female bodily integrity being neglected even in peaceful, everyday societies. At this point for example, there is absolutely no enforcement of men having to protect women i…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 03:55 AM
2

What metric are you using for “safer”?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 03:36 AM
5

Almost every woman I know was bold to a fault until she was hurt, assaulted, molested, harassed, stalked, followed, or saw something equivalent and horrific happen to a woman in her life. I understand where you’re coming from, but we’re absolutely not just cowering because we’re meek and pathetic, the way you seem to think. It’s not unfalsifiable. There are countless studies and accounts. If it were about neuroses, we wouldn’t be here. It’s quite literally about the reality of what occurs.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 03:35 AM
1

Have a good one 👍
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 03:31 AM
1

Insulting someone doesn’t make you right, my guy. I’ll continue very happily along my very functional adult life literally providing therapy for others. Feel free to come back if you want to have the conversation you started.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 03:17 AM
4

That wasn’t even a coherent sentence. When you reply directly to me and I can make sense out of anything more than an insulting tone, I’ll hit you up.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 01:31 AM
4

What does that have to do with anything I wrote? Women are worth more than their sexual value. That’s it. That has nothing to do with the motivations of fuckboys, because fuckboys don’t define my worth. I was responding to your “sex is the only value they bring to a man’s life” and “net negative to men” comment. Who someone sleeps with doesn’t diminish who they are, whatever gender they are. It may make their life shittier if they cant discern who’s going to be terrible for them, you’re right ab…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 12:45 AM
15

Again, women don’t even have seat belts that are proven to keep us safe. The draft notwithstanding, my overarching point is still that phrases like “sausage party” are a lower societal priority than a baseline respect for bodily safety, autonomy, and consent. In those issues, women are still coming out vastly, internationally, life-threateningly behind.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 10:27 PM
8

Yeah people like to bring up Lizzo a lot in threads like this, but Jack Black has been famous and well-loved for decades, including when most popular media explicitly represented a women’s size 5 as being “fat.”
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 10:22 PM
5

They weren’t hating you. I think that as a woman, I can say that she’s probably heard a lot of this before. We all have. The idea that just because a woman sleeps around, she’s utterly valueless other than sexually? Very commonly bandied about by exactly the dudes that she’s talking about. That statement rings of hate, though. Women have tons of other values, contrary to what redpill would have you believe. Just because you (or some people generally) only look as far as their own libido, that do…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 10:12 PM
4

I assume the person you’re replying to isn’t saying that all men should be blamed either. All men shouldn’t be blamed, just like all women shouldn’t be blamed. Yes, individual people will do both, but that doesn’t mean that one justifies the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 10:00 PM
26

Edited with a TLDR; Nope. This post’s definition of respect for bodies and bodily autonomy needs to consider that we still live in a world in which the ‘husband stitch’ and burka laws still exist. Original post: This is a total false equivalency. I do agree that the small dick energy jokes are absolutely out of hand on the internet these days, but jokes and internet references aren’t the only categories, and the lack of respect for women’s bodies is one of the feminist issues I believe is still …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 09:58 PM
3

I mean, how are you in particular measuring decisiveness? I make decisions all day. Many people do. I’ve led shifts at mental hospitals and residential treatment centers and managed not to get anyone killed. I’ve composed and led the performance of pieces that included multiple musicians. I’ve, you know, made decisions and stuck to them without any masculine help. I’ve done extensive debates and persuasive pieces that involved deciding, researching, and defending positions and ideologies. I pick…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 03:28 AM
7

“Can someone whose flair doesn’t confirm my bias please come over to rebut my bias.” Were you expecting a flair that said “ButFirstMyCoffee’s Mom”?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 12:21 AM
3

I mean, me. I’m decisive and stubborn as hell. But is a single case actually going to be an exception that you listen to? Or are you going to try to argue people out of not aligning with your opinions?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 11:27 PM
3

How so? Why do you assume that the downvoting is a reaction from a single, powerful group rather than a general reaction to OP’s points, logical fallacies, or perspective?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 05:53 PM
15

Your definition isn’t even close to objective. It’s based on shifting perspectives, and is denying many of the expert assessments of radicalization going on both on the right and in groups of men today. You’re lost in a logical fallacy that your perspective is right and logical while everyone else’s is emotional and unfounded, which shows your bias more than it does your opponents’. The use of ‘TDS,’ which is a historically afactual and broadly applied misuse of the word “delusion” (a very speci…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 05:50 PM
1

I’ve seen the chart many times. I know what you’re referencing, but remember that these are averages on one group of men on one study that’s already very outdated. Big sweeping data pushes big, sweeping conclusions, because that’s its job. The internet pushes enraging, extreme examples of things and people, because that’s what sells. It’s not real life. I could name 100 men who I know in the real world who don’t fit these stereotypes. I could, for that matter, name women who fit this stereotype …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 10:14 PM
8

All men are not the same just like all women are not the same. Find someone whose morals you genuinely believe in, don’t make everyone responsible for the worst men that you hear about on the news.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 09:36 PM
8

Women shouldn’t use PMS as an excuse for shitty behavior in the first place. It really is an abuse cycle for a man to have to prepare for his partner to be aggressive, manipulative, whatever based on her personal problems. It reminds me of the way that some kids have to be hyper-aware of their parents coming home from a bad day at work, because they’re going to get hit or insulted. I think it’s reasonable for a woman to burst into tears or be mildly irritable or have less patience, IF she’s awar…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 08:28 PM
7

And how much are you willing to make yourself suffer to get that feeling out? You can absolutely come back from this. Many many people out there live happy lives with people after being a virgin at 30. Many. That being said, you have to take responsibility for wanting to make your life better and working on it from there. Hating your dad won’t help. Hating the world won’t help. Other things might though. Go find those.
/r/ExRedPill03/05/25 08:54 AM
5

What are you hoping to achieve by being at war with him over something that neither of you can change?
/r/ExRedPill02/05/25 08:35 PM
8

Do you have hobbies? Interests? Causes? I think we’re all a little starved for connection and contact these days, so it’s a very valid question and problem to have. I’m a therapist, and I see a LOT of my clients noticeably brighten and improve when they’re able to go out, join a club or a team, and take up a new hobby that involves going out. If you read, join a book club. If you like art or crafts, find an art class, art guild, or crafting club. Interests and options can vary, but options could…
/r/ExRedPill01/05/25 08:43 PM
45

Just… jesus. I’ve heard it and disputed it all a hundred times before, but there’s just something about knowing that some asshole gets to publish a book that calls “women don’t LOVE” an iron rule. A RULE. LOVE. Women can type and write and speak thousands of words about the logic and the science and the history and our personhood and about the precise equality and accountability and safety that we want… and these motherfuckers can write a shitty AI book and dehumanize us instantly. Horrifically.…
/r/ExRedPill01/05/25 05:45 AM
10

That’s a good description. I absolutely agree, and I think that in an ideal world, most relationships would be.
/r/ExRedPill30/04/25 12:33 AM
16

For what it’s worth, I can be an example of that too. I’m a woman and I actively want to be the breadwinner in my relationship. I like to cook, but I absolutely love my career. I find it rewarding and fascinating and would spend 55 hours a week on it if I could. I accidentally do sometimes, to be honest. Meanwhile, I suck at staying consistent with housework. My partner is currently working his way up in a career that currently costs us money and will at best make him almost nothing, even when h…
/r/ExRedPill30/04/25 12:18 AM
27

“Women were never oppressed” is an absolutely WILD take. We’re all here for men’s rights, but the idea that women were never oppressed anywhere at any time should really make you introspect on your belief system. It can’t eliminate the struggles of men to say so, but women are often, horrifically, and violently oppressed. Denying that will only sacrifice your credibility.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/04/25 06:54 PM
2

You’re reading into things that you want and expect to be true. I see your history with posts of this exact topic, and you have scores of people commenting with exceptions, logical fallacies in your assumptions, counterexamples, and more. You seem to be ignoring everything that doesn’t fit with your narrative. In order for something to be true, it has to stand up to logical questioning, not only be true when you assume everyone else is lying. Redpill beliefs have been disproven by hundreds of st…
/r/ExRedPill16/04/25 04:24 PM
12

My biggest complaints about the movement tend to revolve around the fallacy that all women or all men are actually able to be judged by one set of rules. There are people who are allergic to water. People have danced themselves to death before. There are people out there who can’t comprehend music as anything more than noise (it’s called amusia and it’s absolutely fascinating). There are people who don’t like pasta. People are born with organs on the wrong side of their bodies or missing limbs o…
/r/ExRedPill06/04/25 04:17 AM
2

I mean, I think this is a little unfair to everyone involved. We see incels in incel-related capacities. That’s how we know, in those cases, that they’re incels. Unless you’re going to each of their profiles and noting that they have both made incel comments and posted on hobby subreddits, or know them closely enough in person to know what they do on their off time, we would have very few ways of knowing if language learners are incels, or vice versa. I know this wasn’t your intention, but I thi…
/r/ExRedPill05/04/25 12:28 AM
14

No, but there are ways to assess for generalizability. If you have a population of 10,000 that you’re trying to analyze, a study of 150 might be helpful. A study of 4 definitely won’t be. The 80/20 theme was, if I remember correctly, a study of one dating app that was then used as a True Truth They Don’t Want You To Know™️ for the human population of 8 billion. Dating apps aren’t the real world, one dating app in one area isn’t real life, and the idea of making statements about all women everywh…
/r/ExRedPill04/04/25 10:02 PM
8

I think that part of it is using the averages of millions in order to define specific parameters for your own life. People want to have rules that make sense, data to use for decision making, etc., but using dating market demographics to decide who to date is like pulling out data about the tiers of stratified consumer spending in order to decide whether you’re buying the generic version of toothpaste that week. Does the person work for you? If they’re the hottest person in the world (as if we c…
/r/ExRedPill04/04/25 08:33 PM
4

That’s great. I don’t think that anyone would object to that unless they’re trying to sell you something.
/r/ExRedPill28/03/25 03:28 PM
10

It makes sense as a feature of something that’s supposed to make money off of guys looking to address a complicated mix of hurt, anger, loneliness, curiosity, self-loathing, etc. and don’t know how. It’s a twisted balance of baiting someone and keeping them simultaneously miserable and convinced that you’re the cure for their misery. You have to make a video or a blog that convinces the reader that their woes aren’t their fault to reel them in, but you’d start to lose people if there’s no cause …
/r/ExRedPill28/03/25 06:11 AM
6

The problem is that the nebulousness isn’t going to get resolved by oversimplifying and pigeonholing. It’s hard to pinpoint what all women want because all women don’t want one thing. I understand why you ended up where you’re at. I just want better for you. I see how much pain you’re in, and I’m sorry you’re going through this. The world CAN be better than it is right now, it just might not be simpler.
/r/ExRedPill23/03/25 08:01 PM
6

We’re already moving in that direction though. Not fast enough, but we are. If I have to head up the movement for compassion towards men personally and weaponize the male-positive egalitarian and feminist movements to change the landscape, fine, but don’t hinder the progress by asking people to cede all compassion for everyone else. Sacrificing compassion and humanity because there’s not enough compassion to maintain our humanity is an idiotic take. When men are hurting and harming others, it ma…
/r/ExRedPill23/03/25 07:07 PM
6

I have a lot of compassion for you here. I know that loneliness and shame are two of the hardest emotions to combat and cope with, because you feel alone and incapable of managing anything with the hope of a better outcome. That being said, please know that redpill is lying to you and doesn’t have your best interests in mind. It’s a collection of influencers trying to weaponize your frustration against you and make money off of you while making you feel like you’ve finally found the solution. It…
/r/ExRedPill23/03/25 07:03 PM
12

Why default to stripping away empathy as a default solution to any interpersonal problem— let alone one about people not understanding each other? Let’s start with empathy for all parties, critical thinking, and create a sensible, sustainable situation for everyone based on their individual needs.
/r/ExRedPill23/03/25 06:51 PM
2

Consent is certainly complicated, but if everything that was complicated was a lie, we’d be living in a featureless void. You’re taking an article that’s elaborating on the nuances of a nuanced topic and using it to resummarize it back down to inaccuracy.
/r/ExRedPill23/03/25 06:48 PM
21

Dear lord, not even slightly. Your own example proves the opposite point, because your sister left her husband because she was being manipulated and treated like shit. Leaving someone is hard when your life is built around them, but it will ABSOLUTELY happen if someone is being treated like shit and has enough resources to make it on their own. I’ve had guys try to neg me or be a “bad boy who has it all going on.” I instantly cut things off. Absolutely not. I’m not interested in being treated li…
/r/ExRedPill14/03/25 02:39 AM
1

Added to my list, thanks!
/r/ExRedPill11/03/25 06:54 PM
13

“Crushing” is relative. If she’s obsessed with a celebrity, says their name during sex, has posters of them up everywhere, and can’t focus on anything but them, that’s a red flag. I think almost everyone would probably be able to pull out a celebrity crush if asked though. Have you ever seen a dog catch a mail truck? Probably not, because what would the dog even do if she caught it? Bite the… fender? Bark some more? I think it’s a good allegory for celebrity crushes, because celebrity crushes us…
/r/ExRedPill06/03/25 11:42 PM
4

First of all, you’re doing the right thing in trying to work towards a healthier mindset, and you’re doing the right thing in asking for help. In addition to what’s in the exredpill starter kit and what other people are recommending, look up cognitive distortions and do some reading on things like confirmation bias, emotional reasoning, overgeneralization, etc. A lot of the redpill logic relies on every single member of a group being exactly the same, which isn’t how the world works. It helps to…
/r/ExRedPill06/03/25 05:03 PM
23

The farther someone is from you ideologically, culturally, aesthetically, demographically, etc., the easier it is to pretend that they’re not quite human in the way that you’re human. Add that to fetishes and the type of isolation that begets a drastic solution, and people start dreaming. “It’s not ME alienating all of the women around me, it’s that all of the women in the foreseeable distance have been polluted to not want me.”
/r/ExRedPill02/03/25 02:36 AM
12

The fact is, both are different attempts at providing one big magical, Simple Answer™️ that describes the whole world with a few universal rules. It’s also exactly why neither of them actually rings very true when you apply them to the real world. I say this compassionately, but for your own sake- Stop trying to read enough content and buy into enough “unpopular truths” to find the answer. Maybe the fact that neither philosophy is landing right is a good sign for you. You’re seeing that each has…
/r/ExRedPill01/03/25 07:51 AM
4

Exactly. A significant portion of people out there would probably call him the most famous incel out there, despite any evidence of him sleeping with women. Sex has become inconsequential to the incel label in a lot of the discourse.
/r/ExRedPill24/02/25 05:23 PM
15

I don’t necessarily disagree for the original purpose and definition of the word. The “involuntary celibate” movement was originally self-titled and self-identified by people who wanted to rise up against those who made them celibate against their own wills. Nowadays, most people have stopped using it for that definition entirely. “Incel” used by almost anyone these days, means “violently anti-woman social outcast who blames women and sometimes socially healthy men for his own troubles.” That ca…
/r/ExRedPill24/02/25 03:29 PM
34

The ones that I’ve heard are essentially: They’re doing it for male attention and will be into men again as soon as a rich/handsome one propositions them They’ve chosen the wrong men and have been hurt by them/rejected by them/propositioned by ugly ones so often that they think their only option is women They’re sluts (usually not intellectually elaborated from there).
/r/ExRedPill19/02/25 11:05 PM
1

So your experience actively contradicts the idea that you were rejected based on some weird “high status/low status” sense. As you said, they explicitly and provably weren’t judging based on your income, achievements, lifestyle, or romantic experience since they didn’t know those things about you and had no way to know them. What are the facts that you have here? Not your assumptions or someone else’s assumptions based on limited data, but yours. From what you say here: -They knew very little ab…
/r/ExRedPill16/02/25 03:12 AM
2

Who told you it was because of your appearance? The girls? Or people on the internet?
/r/ExRedPill16/02/25 02:52 AM
8

That’s fair. It’s good to know that and have all of the pieces to examine. This subreddit can probably be a good resource for you, especially in helping to dissuade some of the myths about hypergamy and all of that. I’m happy to answer questions and have posted about this before, but almost every woman can tell you dozens of examples that disprove the “only rich, handsome, manly tall men” thing. I’m the (female) breadwinner in my partnership and actively prefer that. I know multiple people who p…
/r/ExRedPill01/02/25 02:04 AM
10

Relationships get drastically less healthy when one person truly NEEDS another. People resent things when they truly can’t live without them, and people tend to lose their reasons for wanting a thing when they can’t choose not to rely on that thing. If you got stranded on a desert island with only your favorite food, it would stop being your favorite food by the end of that week. The same thing is, very crucially, present in relationships. I think the important question is why you’re associating…
/r/ExRedPill01/02/25 12:58 AM
2

I’m glad you’re talking to someone, if only for perspective and processing. Things take time, but if you’re not clicking with your therapist and/or things seem to be going nowhere, it’s definitely okay to look around. Good luck
/r/ExRedPill25/01/25 12:27 AM
9

I appreciate you responding. Based on what you’re talking about here, it kinda sounds like you’ve been in survival mode for a long time. You’ve gone through a lot of terrible shit, so I get that getting to know a woman isn’t your priority right now. Especially when you’ve already learned that other people haven’t tended to bring you a lot of comfort, it’s probably going to make a relationship a peripheral issue at best. Asking what a hypothetical woman can do for you that a man can’t is difficul…
/r/ExRedPill24/01/25 10:45 PM
8

That makes sense. I think there’s a trade off here. If you really value the excitement more than the companionship, it’s okay to pursue short term relationships based on excitement, as long as you’re honest with yourself and others about what you’re looking for and how you’re making decisions based on what you’re looking for. Relationships based on personality, shared hobbies, shared values, etc provide less of that alien, new excitement, but they provide something warm and rich and long lasting…
/r/ExRedPill24/01/25 07:57 PM
17

Why do you think that is? Do you feel like you lose something if women aren’t perfect and separate?
/r/ExRedPill24/01/25 07:05 PM
1

Everyone in the world is looking for something. Redpill offers something to many people, and based on modern, monetized content, make sure that they can be seen as helpful for some of the most basic gaps in human experience. Basic self-improvement knowledge (create good habits, be confident, etc.) is usually mixed with a lot of generalizations and ragebait to keep their content circulating and keep you digging deeper. They learn their viewers, present a (again, VERY monetized) appeal to their ba…
/r/ExRedPill24/01/25 07:02 PM
14

That’s honestly probably helpful for you to already be aware of. In regards to the last question then, do you know what you’re afraid of? Most people who seek out personality are looking for things in common with their person, closeness, the ability to be vulnerable, the ability to connect, etc. If you’re looking at sex in a very different way, though, those may be the opposite of what you’re seeking.
/r/ExRedPill24/01/25 06:27 PM
48

It may be worth asking what you expect/want from sex and women in general. If a woman is hot, is it easy to just see her as an object you can use to get off? Is that what you prefer? I know you said elsewhere that you aren’t interested in a relationship, so I wonder if there’s some part of you that’s repelled by having someone you’re attracted to be a real, flawed person that you have to consider more deeply. Are you afraid of something there?
/r/ExRedPill24/01/25 02:12 PM
15

I’m a feminist and work in mental health, so I tend to focus my advocacy for both men and women on the ones you mentioned, but that doesn’t mean they’re the only issues that are visible. -First off, and also related to what I’ve seen in my professional work, men need far more resources to recover from and cope with abuse and sexual assault. Men’s plight is often ignored or minimized, and men are taught that they are more likely to have to worry about false accusations than being abused themselve…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates05/01/25 08:20 AM
3

I will say that at this point, I’ve heard Beyoncé called out by multiple feminists. The impression of her seems to be souring with the allegations, especially since she’s powerful enough to have known and, presumably, to have spoken up without consequences. The backlash against Oprah with her efforts in funneling young women into situations of abuse is another example. I understand the trend you’re pointing out and see the double standard, but it’s not all-encompassing by any means.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/12/24 08:34 AM
12

I think it partially boils down to the core thought that many don’t want to be just “any” guy. They want to be THAT guy for one or more women, because deep down, everyone wants to feel like they are special and uniquely cared for. That part is normal and healthy, but using loneliness to justify believing that other people are fundamentally inferior because they don’t perfectly love you is not. It’s all kinda the same ideology though. “No women loves me and that sucks” can be cushioned both with …
/r/ExRedPill04/11/24 02:53 AM
24

As a social worker, I can tell you that the most important thing for kids’ development is someone being present and supportive. Period. Trauma, and maladaptive reactions to trauma like anger, drug use, seeking toxic communities, etc. are far more likely to come from the absence of a parental figure (or the abuse from a parental figure) than from someone just teaching them badly. Kids need to learn safety, boundaries, what love and constancy feel like, and need to gradually develop independence a…
/r/ExRedPill19/10/24 07:06 PM
9

"Type" is an estimate, really. I have personally almost never dated someone who I would describe as my physical type, but that doesn't minimize my attraction to them at all. I'm into people with dark hair and intense eyes, but my partner is not that at all. I'm still constantly and wildly attracted to him, and I know tons of relationships that are the same way-- to the point that I'm not sure if I can think of ANY of my friends who are dating someone they would have described as their type befor…
/r/ExRedPill16/10/24 07:55 PM
5

Confidence and likeability. If you show that you're genuine, paying attention, sure of yourself but humble, and make an effort to relate to people, that goes a long way.
/r/ExRedPill16/10/24 07:22 PM
6

Why do you see a craving for monogamy as something that needs therapy to resolve?
/r/ExRedPill14/10/24 05:54 PM
19

“Women know that they will be cheated on and left for a younger girl in the future—“ uh. No. Absolutely not. That’s totally illogical and unfair to particularly men, but definitely women as well. I agree with a lot of this in the sense that men who are so bitter at women that they take themselves out of the running for a relationship are often not a loss, but that’s because men this furious at women tend to make TERRIBLE partners for women. You made it about the attractiveness and “game” of dati…
/r/ExRedPill26/09/24 10:02 PM
5

Just because something is harsh doesn’t make it a truth. A lot of people fall into the mistake of believing that if an idea makes you feel better, it’s false and naive to even consider. Redpill has been factually disproven over and over again, so no matter how many times you say “get real. The world sucks,” it doesn’t make you right. The whole ideology is a bunch of cognitive distortions stacked on each other with a trench coat on, masquerading as a coherent and sensical perspective, but a bunch…
/r/ExRedPill26/09/24 07:01 PM
3

I agree with most of this, other than the idea that autism would prevent OP from dating. Many men are struggling right now, which is why redpill and similar ideologies are so popular. There are tons of people with autism who are in happy relationships though, and I don’t doubt that OP could be one of them.
/r/ExRedPill26/09/24 06:53 PM
2

You’re putting the onus on about three thirdhand details to make a person’s real life seem “convincing” though. That’s the problem, not the particular details that I chose to share. You’re going to have to accept that one particular anecdote will not be able to empirically prove love to you. I could tell you about how he relies on her, or about how, even when they’re not physically together or depending on each other for anything in particular, they feel the way they do. I could tell you about h…
/r/ExRedPill26/09/24 06:35 PM
2

No, I’m calling LOVE love. You keep asking for evidence and proof, and that’s absolutely not how love works. They are madly, deeply in love with each other. Beyond that, I’m a woman who’s deeply, madly, passionately in love with my own partner. There are, believe it or not, hundreds of millions of us. You can’t armchair skeptic your way out of a stranger’s feelings, and it’s both highly illogical and emotionally unhealthy that you’re continuing to try. I would ask you to examine why you’re worki…
/r/ExRedPill26/09/24 04:17 PM
5

Absolutely positive. You can believe me or not, but “my life is messy as hell and I feel out of my depth and he makes me feel less so” isn’t artificially hyping things up for social media. “He’s so cool and has so many strengths that I don’t and I constantly hope that I’m a good enough partner to earn his love” isn’t artificial. I’m close enough to see a very intimate picture of their lives, and their relationship isn’t perfect, but it’s fulfilling and consistent and constantly passionate. Peopl…
/r/ExRedPill26/09/24 03:40 AM
16

Absolutely all the time. People don’t always represent their feelings about their partner very poetically in public, but I’d say that women feel deep, lasting adoration for their partners about as often as men do. I would venture to say, honestly, that the changes in romance over time that redpill likes to talk about only result in MORE of this genuine adoration, not less. Women used to get told that we have no worth if we’re not married. We used to need a man financially and socially because we…
/r/ExRedPill25/09/24 07:06 PM
16

Exactly. It’s human nature to look for secret “rules” that explain the unexplained. The problem is that those things are often unexplained because there’s no grand rule that explains it all with no exceptions. Humans are complicated whether we want them to be or not, but a convincing redpill influencer will have people believing otherwise for long enough to give them money.
/r/ExRedPill25/09/24 07:54 AM
2

I truly mean this kindly, but a long term relationship will not go well if you completely idealize someone without being willing to accept flaws that you learn along the way. If you’re married to someone, you’re going to learn a lot of imperfect things about them. You’re going to learn their bad habits, hear their petty arguments with their siblings, see them with an absolutely gross flu, learn about the mistakes they’ve made in the past, all of it. Unconditional love has to mean unconditional, …
/r/ExRedPill25/09/24 07:33 AM
32

Hypergamy is absolutely not true. Can you find a single shallow woman to fit the redpill stereotype? Absolutely. Can you make a rule about all women being the same way based on one person being a greedy asshole? Absolutely not. I know of so many partnerships where the woman is the breadwinner, including my own. I’ve been exposed to rich, handsome men since then, and believe it or not, didn’t dreamily float away from the man I’m in love with to stumble and fall on wealthy dick. That’s not how it …
/r/ExRedPill25/09/24 07:15 AM
47

It’s a disenfranchised hero vs villain/oppressive system story. A lot of people within redpill are unsatisfied with their lives, and feel cheated out of a good life that they think that they deserve. Redpill itself then sets up a few premises: 1. ‘They’ are awful and deserve nothing, 2. ‘They’ have everything and 3. You SHOULD have those things, but 4. ‘They’ took them from you. It’s easy to hate people when you can easily see that you have nothing, and when you get validation and community by a…
/r/ExRedPill22/09/24 09:11 PM
3

Your feelings are very valid and very common, but that doesn’t mean AT ALL that they’re based on facts. No one knows what they want out of the rest of their life in their twenties. No one. Things change, our priorities change, and we ourselves go through dozens of major transformations in our lives. Don’t force something that you know is wrong for you because of pressure from people who don’t know you exist. There’s absolutely no mandate to find a life partner in your twenties, and you’re not a …
/r/ExRedPill22/09/24 08:59 AM
–

Yeah that’s not even close to representative the field of mental health. A bachelor’s level intro psychology class could debunk about 60% of that without trying. You have a terrible therapist, and should find a new one immediately if you feel comfortable. I totally understand where you’re at, and I’m sorry that he’s absolutely squandered the trust you’ve put in his hands. Bad therapists have a very significant impact compared to some other people being bad at their jobs, because they’re asking y…
/r/ExRedPill22/09/24 08:24 AM
5

Sure, but humans often have similar conversations in a loop. That doesn’t mean they’re not helpful or don’t achieve their aim. They may not reach an AITA-style conclusion that gets bannered across the top, but each one may change a person’s life significantly. They may even let someone poke at their own beliefs a few different times in order to really understand more about what they think. Some are trolls, some people would benefit from using the search function, but having ten people on three s…
/r/ExRedPill14/09/24 03:40 AM
4

Are you able to pursue therapy? Therapy is often built around things like “I have this unhelpful belief and don’t know how I can change it and work through this.” You’re going through something very human and understandable and okay, but this kind of thing sometimes ends up being a self-fulfilling prophecy if you don’t truly work through it. You might seek someone who “makes sense” to that part of your brain, and that may result in you being with someone who think that that part of your brain is…
/r/ExRedPill03/09/24 01:23 PM
1

Women aren’t a hive mind. We all want different things, and there’s no rule for attracting all women on earth. It’s absolutely impossible to generalize, so stop falling into that trap. More importantly, women’s desires don’t determine your worth. Set goals for yourself. Get healthy. Wake up every day and live the day that you want to. You can’t press a button and win human existence by successfully gaming womankind. If you’re happy with yourself and know what you want, you’ll connect with others…
/r/ExRedPill27/08/24 11:47 PM
8

I struggle with this too, and It helps me to remember how much the internet amplifies the extremes. A nice, reasonable, but unremarkable comment doesn’t go viral, doesn’t help anyone make money, and doesn’t amplify any desperate movements. I’ve seen the same 2014 screenshot of “women who have periods are just lazy. Control your bladder” maybe 30-40 times, but that’s because people find it so outrageous that they repost that over something they actually believe. Maybe the original person was lite…
/r/ExRedPill27/08/24 04:20 AM
13

I agree with a lot of this, but strongly disagree with literally every point you’re making about women. Women are absolutely not looking for “the certainty of a man telling them what to do” in order to avoid certain chaos. The whole of feminism has essentially been about trying to stop men from thinking that we’re weak creatures who need someone to tell us what to do. Some men used to end up in a couple pretty much solely because it wasn’t legally or societally viable for women to be single. Tha…
/r/ExRedPill24/08/24 04:02 PM
9

This subreddit is for people trying to improve themselves and get out of the redpill/blackpill sphere. If you’re trying to get people to see women and dating in a more healthy way, you’re both preaching to the choir and taking the wrong tone. People look for answers when things go wrong in their lives, and look for support and validation wherever they can find it. Many don’t have the foresight to realize how toxic the movement may become for them. Judgement doesn’t change people. Compassion and …
/r/ExRedPill22/08/24 12:55 AM
5

Left wingers definitely don’t ignore the exploitative nature of the porn/sex industry. I’ve literally never seen an in-depth conversation about it on the left that didn’t include a long conversation about how dangerous sex work is.
/r/ExRedPill22/08/24 12:42 AM
2

I understand that. It's hard not to look at the parts of the situation (however many or few) that actually DO fit into the philosophy and think "well, maybe they're right about EVERYTHING." It's a logical fallacy though, created by the self-doubt and the few things that ANY philosophy would get right by chance. First of all, I'm not *at all* minimizing your trauma, please know. Our experiences affect us in huge huge ways, and that's not something that can be swept under the rug. Essentially thou…
/r/ExRedPill20/08/24 01:38 AM
55

This is a good representation of the problem with redpill and similar ideologies, honestly. Every time we try to make one very limited model fit EVERYONE, a bunch of people end up ignoring their own instincts, situation, and needs until either the philosophy falls apart or they do. There are so many people on these sites ignoring how different and unique humans are. What works for you works for you. Poorly applied generalizations from people who are trying to understand what works for THEM won’t…
/r/ExRedPill19/08/24 06:34 PM
4

I’m proud of you!! Self improvement like this isn’t easy. It takes self awareness, a ton of determination and work, and the genuine desire to improve, which is far more difficult to gather and sustain than people realize. Good job, and good luck in the future
/r/ExRedPill18/08/24 03:45 AM
18

Women aren’t a puzzle box where you slide one hidden panel to the left and unlock the magical secret. There are so many books and blogs saying so many different things about the “Secret to Seduction” because there IS no one secret. People who seem to know it all sell more copies of their manifesto, but they still don’t. Every woman is different, so even what I’m about to say is generalized, but it’s closer to a way to gain perspective. This is a long one, but I feel like there are enough compone…
/r/ExRedPill15/08/24 10:17 PM
14

People are replying with the main point— not all women can be judged by the actions of one, just like you couldn’t judge all Americans or all Capricorns or all people with small feet because of how she acted. There’s more to it though, because redpill and black pill take advantage of their followers. I’m a social worker, and I can tell you that redpill is weirdly, perfectly designed to make everything you’re feeling a thousand times worse. It isolates you from any real world support, takes away …
/r/ExRedPill12/08/24 03:55 AM
4

Well said.
/r/ExRedPill08/08/24 02:31 AM
10

I don’t think the concept has to be “the world is cruel, suck it up” in order to establish a firm concept of reality. The problem is the generalizing beyond all evidence of each single woman being different. Many people are cruel and we can’t absolutely force them to change, but some redpillers and especially blackpillers already grasp that. That’s the central problem for them. People in the redpill movement aren’t dumb children who grew up inherently deficient. They’re hurt people looking for r…
/r/ExRedPill07/08/24 11:13 PM
–

The theory of evolution is NOT largely false. It’s one of the most agreed upon and broadly studied scientific concepts. There is more peer-reviewed evidence for evolution than ten people could read in a lifetime. You’re misunderstanding the most basic tenets of the philosophy and using the reader’s digest version to dispute it. You’re incorrect here.
/r/ExRedPill07/08/24 11:06 PM
4

I’m a grown woman, not a girl. That means, of course, that I’m fully conscious of and able to defend my own decisions about my own life. I’ll answer questions if you ask me reasonably and show that you’re open to a real conversation, but I’m not going to sit in the audience for a tirade about your imaginary concept of purity, if that’s what this is. Ask me a question without infantilizing me and I’ll be happy to walk you through anything you don’t understand.
/r/ExRedPill02/08/24 05:59 PM
1

I really appreciate you reading and drawing perspective from my comment. Thanks for including it
/r/ExRedPill31/07/24 07:11 PM
13

People are definitely attracted to their partners, with a few exceptions I guess. I would say that not being baseline attracted to someone is a disqualifying factor, but it’s not even close to everything. That’s a very different factor, by the way, than whether the person is traditionally attractive. To explain— if you’re a straight man (I’m not necessarily assuming that you are, but just to use an example) I imagine that you factually know that Channing Tatum is attractive. You could write a br…
/r/ExRedPill30/07/24 09:08 PM
38

Absolutely. Sex is so complicated in so many ways, and safety is the BIGGEST concern. I’ve seen too many safety issues and close calls among my friends, family, and my own experiences to want to be alone with a strange guy the first time I meet them, for one thing. To give an example— I had the experience of going home with a guy that I had spend hours and hours of time with in safe, public settings and still had him try to cross boundaries and harm me. Again— it wasn’t our first date. I’m good …
/r/ExRedPill30/07/24 09:19 AM
6

First of all, this is a very introspective and self-aware post, so I commend you for that. You’re clearly putting a lot of genuine and honest thought into this. I think therapy will help significantly. Let me ask before anything else— what do you want a partner to add to your life other than sex? What do you want to do with them? What traits do you want to share with them?
/r/ExRedPill23/07/24 07:08 PM
11

Over and over again while reading this, I kept thinking how excited I am for your future. You’ve been confined to a restrictive, bigoted, singleminded world— to the point where it can only get better from here. People in conservative, purity-focused spheres do absolutely everything that they can to convince people that their way is the only way. The fact is, if it were as natural and universal as they say, they wouldn’t have to manipulate, restrict, lie, punish, alienate, belittle, preach, etc. …
/r/ExRedPill22/07/24 09:51 PM
4

I understood your point. I’m just saying that women DEFINITELY don’t have an objective or universal agreement on men’s attractiveness. Every related conversation that I’ve had with another woman results in a ton of disagreements on who’s attractive and who’s not, and is conducted with the full understanding that attraction is completely individual. I have a friend who’s only into skinny, ‘nerdy’ guys. Another friend is an athlete and only wants guys who can lift as much as she can. I have a frie…
/r/ExRedPill22/07/24 05:55 AM
2

It’s not about dating someone that you’re not attracted to. That would be cruel for both partners. It’s about how much you’re reducing partnership and interest itself to some weird scale of supposedly objective physical attractiveness. We want to be with a PERSON, not a number. Meet someone that you’re actually, organically interested in and talk to them as yourself. It involves being vulnerable, but it allows you to make a real connection. Women aren’t looking around for someone who considers t…
/r/ExRedPill22/07/24 03:21 AM
3

What? This isn’t mathematical. Men’s looks are absolutely not objective. Ask twenty women to describe their taste in men and we’ll all describe something completely different. Dating is 100% subjective, people are complicated and different, and women aren’t a hivemind.
/r/ExRedPill22/07/24 03:14 AM
1

That’s not even close to true. Feel free to ask questions if you have them, but there are literally billions of things that you could reference to disprove this.
/r/ExRedPill22/07/24 03:11 AM
5

I understand what you’re going for, but that fight isn’t one worth fighting in, for instance, a conversation about how women can protect themselves from misogynist men. No one’s debating that men have more upper body strength than women on average. The problem comes in assuming either that every woman can be judged by an average, or that you can judge all women based on one or two. In your example, more men end up being in bodyguard positions because of a ton of different socialized and innate f…
/r/ExRedPill22/07/24 03:06 AM
8

Do you have hobbies? Could you join a local soccer team, art class, book club, choir, etc.? Volunteering helps too. Volunteer at a library, an animal shelter, political campaign, whatever. Do yourself a favor though. Don’t even consider dating anyone or going after someone until you’re at least a month in. The exact timing is arbitrary, but the approach isn’t. As a woman, I can tell you that if a guy came in to volunteer (or whatever) at my hobby for the first time and immediately and obviously …
/r/ExRedPill21/07/24 09:36 PM
6

Honestly? If they’re strongly or repeatedly bigoted against any other group, there’s a good chance that they’re biased against a bunch of others. There’s a certain amount that people either believe or don’t believe that people can be judged by their demographics. “My group is better and I can treat other groups badly because of that” is a base belief for some people, and it only takes an “oh wait. Maybe you’re NOT in my group” for them to conclude that there must be something wrong with YOU. Yes…
/r/ExRedPill21/07/24 07:30 PM
4

That’s definitely not a universal either, as you can see on this thread. Redpill’s main logical fallacy is acting like you can use the word “never” or “always” to describe large groups of people. There are four billion women in the world, but redpill tries to describe and predict them all with like two rules/groupings— if Angela Merkel and Tila Tequila are two identical Build A Bears with Prude earbows and Slut earbows. It’s a kindergarten understanding of the world at best. Easy, clean rules ma…
/r/ExRedPill20/07/24 08:22 PM
19

Many women will just be choosing to be single, honestly. Many will get sterilized if it’s still possible. Many will try to move to other countries. Even women who want to have children will experience increased mortality and decreasing care during labor and pregnancy, so it won’t be just women who don’t want children who are worried. Some of the most famous abortion cases are already women with wanted but nonviable pregnancies who are being pushed to the brink of death or to serious injury becau…
/r/ExRedPill20/07/24 07:46 PM
2

Just wanted to add this.
/r/ExRedPill20/07/24 06:35 AM
8

“I want to spend more time with this person. Maybe I’ll see if they seem to want to spend more time with me” is a better and less predatory start to the interaction than the “see a girl who’s numerically reasonable for your attractiveness portfolio and try to con her into thinking you’re the singular best mate in the world” advice. The key is to be reading the signals and listening to the words of the individual person. I’ve heard creepy and obsessive guys compared to the mall kiosk workers who …
/r/ExRedPill12/07/24 10:13 PM
4

This is well-phrased. I like this one.
/r/ExRedPill12/07/24 09:59 PM
8

The friendzone thing is an arbitrary name for unrequited feelings. Like most redpill rules and concepts, the world isn’t even close to simple enough that it can be put in a couple of easy boxes. For example, all of my long term relationships and a few of the relationships of other friends have been completely platonic friendships that eventually turned into something more, partially because the trust and friendship was so strong. Neither of us were waiting for that relationship either, in most o…
/r/ExRedPill12/07/24 09:33 PM
4

This is a great question and I wish I had a simple answer for you. It varies a lot, honestly. My partner ALWAYS knows when I’m upset and knows how to be there for me without even seeming to try. He’s my best friend and he’s who I want to hang out with and bounce things off of if I have ideas or thoughts. We share housework. We can talk intellectually and he contributes ideas and perspective. He kills bugs for me. We complement each other as people and bring out traits in each other that we might…
/r/ExRedPill08/07/24 08:02 AM
15

10000%. I’ve never found height to be a barrier to being attractive at all.
/r/ExRedPill23/06/24 05:57 PM
14

Dear god, no. What? Overly aggressive, dominating, masculine men are repulsive because they tend not to consider women as humans, and tend to take their own opinions as more important than ANYTHING their partner needs. Many of us are looking primarily for a partner who values us and considers us to be human beings first. Dudes who spend all of their time trying to prove that they’re alpha males before, you know, asking us questions and listening to the answers, are not attractive. That’s where i…
/r/ExRedPill20/06/24 07:54 PM
16

You need to interact with women in real life. You need to find opinions from women that aren’t screenshotted by people who use individual statements to make a point about other women, and have organic interactions that aren’t driven by vitality or “what the algorithm wants you to see.” Watching suggested videos that are fourteen minutes of highly edited content about women isn’t knowing or listening to women.
/r/ExRedPill20/06/24 07:50 PM
5

-If I start truly believing that either my partner or I can’t respect each other on a human, personal, moral level, the relationship would be over, yes. For emotions though? There’s absolutely zero chance that would EVER make me lose respect for someone unless they’re making their emotions everyone else’s problem— crying in front of me is welcome if that’s what you need. Being truly honest about weakness or vulnerability is wonderful. Screaming at me or “I’m sad so I crashed your car but it’s ok…
/r/ExRedPill20/06/24 07:34 PM
24

Women are individuals. You’re making the mistake of conflating and combining stereotypes, extremes, outliers, and then wrapping it in a generalized, universalized package. Woman™️ isn’t a single entity, and the mythical organization of womanhood isn’t going to see your post and explain Itself. Only individual women will, who may meet six of the criteria that you mentioned, or twelve, or none. You would be pissed off if I made you personally answer for people who shit in changing rooms. Stop maki…
/r/ExRedPill20/06/24 11:49 AM
3

This is fascinating! Thanks for sharing. I’ll have to read the full text later.
/r/ExRedPill18/06/24 05:12 PM
2

It’s a very complex topic, so there are a lot of answers that are at least partially right for a lot of people. In a VERY short version, though, there are certain things that humans crave on a basic level. Look up Maslow’s hierarchy of needs if you haven’t seen it already. Humans need security, food, water, etc. beyond that, though, we need connection and self-actualization (fulfillment). If a person experiences life without love, acceptance, fulfillment, normal connection, a feeling of belongin…
/r/ExRedPill16/06/24 11:13 PM
3

Do you feel confident in yourself? Do you make every effort to not smell/be clean? Do you feel like you’re presenting a good version of yourself that you can be proud of? That’s more of the stuff that matters. Get a haircut or get buff if that makes you feel good, but it’s not essential
/r/ExRedPill12/06/24 05:28 PM
3

I really understand that. Movements like this thrive on people who need someone to hang out with, a purpose, some answers for life’s questions, etc. severing the shitty connections doesn’t mean you won’t be connected to people after this. It just means you have an uncomfortable stage now where you’ll have to seek out real, healthy friendships. In redpill people are eager to make friends, but tend to be seeking people for less genuine reasons. It’ll feel more balanced soon if you find people who …
/r/ExRedPill12/06/24 05:21 PM
8

Good job! I hope this lets you move forward in a helpful way. You’re taking important steps.
/r/ExRedPill12/06/24 04:18 PM
6

Nah I picture the idea of “getting Chris Hemsworth” as something more equivalent to the cat finally catching the toy mouse. It’s reasonably fun to have a celebrity crush, but except for people who place an unhealthy, unreasonable level of importance on shallow factors or like to have trophies, no one would know what to do with him once they caught him. They’d bat him around for a second and wander away when he turned out to be just another human being who’s not actually particularly compatible w…
/r/ExRedPill12/06/24 03:29 AM
13

Any “dating science” stuff is a game of averages at BEST. There are no universal rules or tricks for dating, attraction, and human nature. Anyone who tells you there are is lying. I have a friend who is actively into guys with bellies. I’m clear with my partner about wanting to be the working parent if possible, and seeking someone who’s willing to stay home with the kids. Some short women actively seek short dudes because they dislike someone towering over them. All of that is Not What Women Ar…
/r/ExRedPill12/06/24 03:20 AM
2

I don’t disagree with any of the rest of this, but feminists are absolutely not asking to be excluded from the draft. We’re all on the same page on this one, because there are literally hundreds of posts on feminist pages asking exactly this question. Everyone agrees that it’s a death sentence for men, insulting to women, not fair to anyone, and should be abolished, with the only viable second choice being to establish it for everyone equally. I have seen the “men cause this, so you guys deal wi…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/06/24 05:06 PM
-1

I mean, what point are you hoping to make in refuting the statement? The wording and message would change depending on what you disagree with here, because I’m a little confused by your wording. The draft is sexist, deadly, and harmful to men, and is based on the theory that women are not capable of or supposed to fight on the front lines. I don’t think anyone would refute that. Are you arguing that women ARE responsible? I will say, lawmakers during all of these periods WERE primarily men. That…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/05/24 09:31 PM
14

This is an interesting way of talking about this. I definitely agree with a lot of the points and like the line of thought a lot. Your point about leading with empathy in the moment is a good one too. I think it depends fundamentally on the topic. individuals of each gender are still often treated as the “experts” of a topic based solely on weird, assumed gender roles. Women are considered to be flighty, fearful mice who get to be scared of any men at any time. The things seen as “men’s” fields …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/05/24 01:33 AM
8

That sounds like a great idea, and I commend you for trying to put in the effort. Social work might be a great field for you if you want to be able to both counsel them and deal with the societal factors behind the inequities at play. I’m in social work so I’m biased, but it seems to set things up in a helpful way for quests like this. People post here sometimes asking for ex-incels to participate in research. It may be worth messaging them and getting their perspective too. It would be helpful …
/r/ExRedPill19/05/24 11:33 PM
7

I appreciate you asking the question. It’s a complicated question and a complicated answer. The fact is, some people are better at judging partners than others. Some people lie to prey on people who would not accept their morals otherwise. Some women have internal biases that they use to justify lowering their standards, or have experienced abuse that makes them less able to believe in less toxic options. The “he can change” or “he’s different with me” or “he didn’t mean it, he’s a great guy” fa…
/r/ExRedPill14/05/24 01:31 AM
1

Okay, so I'm back after the week from hell, and I can give you a super (perhaps overly) thorough answer now. First of all, I consider myself a feminist because I believe in gender equality. I believe that no one should be limited by gender roles or bias. That's never been just about women for me, and I'm always in it for both women and men, because a sexist society makes shit worse for everyone. I think that feminism has made BY FAR the most gains in moving towards gender equality, and that it w…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/03/24 02:55 AM
1

For what it’s worth, I find it important to tell you that I plan to answer these questions. Life and work haven’t allowed me enough time to give you a thoughtful answer, but I value the internet’s ability to keep this comment here until I can.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/02/24 03:15 PM
9

This is difficult, and I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this. Many people are right that it may be a lost cause, but remember that you’re his link to reality in many ways. Don’t argue with him and make it about hostility, but prompt him to consider each point from different directions and see exceptions or plot holes that may exist. If it’s “all women are cruel,” ask him if that applies to you despite the fact that he knows you. Ask him how certain parts of the world would really be working …
/r/ExRedPill26/02/24 11:46 PM
2

I think a lot of us don’t keep up with the latest redpill influencers at this point. Can you explain some of the recent claims so that people can debunk the ones on your mind?
/r/ExRedPill24/02/24 04:58 AM
36

We’re here. I’m a feminist who’s purposely part of tons of these groups to get opposing perspectives and deepen my own. As I’ve commented here many times, I think there are good points here and amend my perspective to include them. I also think people here are missing things that would deepen theirs. I think that proving the absence of lurkers is kinda inherently impossible though, because lurkers are inherently the ones who are listening. Yeah we’re not usually arguing, but we’re here.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/02/24 12:50 AM
2

Absolutely! I think that there’s enough hostility built up in all of these movements that it’s hard to just sit at a table and get things done to help people. Let’s get everyone’s basic needs met— safety, freedom from prejudice, living wage, feeling of being heard and respected, etc. — regardless of and mindful of gender roles. After that, we won’t have nearly as much to work on or fight over. Yes, that’s overly simplistic and feels like a dream, but it would help to stop people from looking to …
/r/ExRedPill21/02/24 09:05 PM
2

Absolutely. I don’t think it’s as simple as calling all motivations and desires valid or invalid (agreeing with you). A lot of them exist on scales— a man in an abusive relationship will seek basic control because he’s been denied it in the past. Being single or having a partner who won’t resort to guilting, abusing, or manipulating him may meet that need for control, but red pill convinces hurt people that because they deserve more than they’ve been getting, they deserve to be able to demand a …
/r/ExRedPill21/02/24 08:51 PM
3

Can you explain a little more about what you mean here?
/r/ExRedPill21/02/24 08:21 PM
-3

I know I’ll get downvoted for this, but I call myself a feminist. I believe that feminism is about and for equality, including as it applies to the many things that society needs to fix for men. The misandrists in the movement don’t eliminate feminism’s work for equality.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/02/24 07:00 PM
2

I don’t think it’s that simple. I’m a staunch feminist, but for me that’s a philosophy that involves a ton of advocacy for both men and women. I think redpill is super harmful so I don’t take ideas from it other than acknowledging what men are looking for that they’re asking redpill to solve. All in all though, I’m wondering if the way you’re presenting the gradient is indicative of you seeing the scale as pro woman vs. pro man, because that’s not how I answered it.
/r/ExRedPill21/02/24 05:59 PM
6

I think some of the most effective relationships with the lowest amount of games, posturing, and bullshit come from friendships. It definitely doesn't ruin anything if people communicate, which should be a prerequisite for a healthy relationship anyway.
/r/ExRedPill20/02/24 04:44 AM
6

It’s an absolute requirement for my relationship that my partner feels comfortable and supported enough to open up and be vulnerable with me. I’m not demanding that on the first date or anything, but if I’m in a serious relationship with someone and they feel like they can’t cry in front of me, won’t tell me what’s wrong, won’t tell me when I hurt their feelings, etc., what the fuck are we doing together? I’ve never felt closer to my partner than when he tells me about his insecurities, his need…
/r/ExRedPill20/02/24 12:41 AM
36

As someone who works with abuse victims, it’s a common leap. “She doesn’t know any better so I can make her into whatever I need her to be”isn’t unheard of.
/r/ExRedPill19/02/24 04:31 PM
5

Are you talking about legislators or voters? Because as a social worker, I see tons of leftists talk about male issues, but I work and live in an environment that’s not representative of everyone, of course. I’ve attended multiple talks about male teenage mental health specifically, seen leftists advocate for the male-specific societal issues, heard leftists advocate for men being included in more conversations to eliminate the female-specific bias, etc. I’ve seen dozens of very staunchly leftis…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/02/24 01:47 AM
3

Absolutely, and thanks for responding. That’s all great to know, and I definitely agree that paternity leave and more equal allowance for men being involved fathers would help a ton of metrics here. I just object to the assumptions that are being made here about what this means about women just not being contributing members of society, which is egregious. Your context helps to redefine what this actually means, which still leaves a lot to be desired in how we encourage men to participate, but d…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/02/24 06:55 PM
6

Why are morality and self worth decided by sex? I’ve always wondered that and never gotten a holistic, applicable answer. Some of the most confident, altruistic, loving, loyal people I know have high body counts.
/r/ExRedPill15/02/24 11:09 PM
4

What makes celebrities famous and worth so much? Because everyone sees them, has interest in them, and wants some of their influence. Medical debt is still valuable despite changing hands a ton. What makes peer reviewed journals so accurate? A bunch of people have read each article, checked everything, declared it accurate, and endorsed it. What makes surgeons so good? They’ve performed a thousand surgeries and have experience, knowledge, wisdom, and expertise. You can play that game with any me…
/r/ExRedPill15/02/24 11:08 PM
7

You’re allowed to do anything you want, but body count is considered to be a shallow, fairly useless way to judge anyone of any gender, which is why the replies here are saying exactly that. ETA: do you see people who are opposed to judging women’s body counts advocating for men’s to be judged instead?
/r/ExRedPill15/02/24 07:45 PM
-4

Yeah this seems skewed. Tax data is due to a ton of factors, and if people on this thread aren’t intimately familiar with New Zealand tax and employment law, I doubt we have an accurate understanding. Are there child or family credits that are being applied for by mothers rather than fathers? Are more women working under the table? Is income distribution a factor here? Is there hiring inequality or an income gap? Financial value also isn’t the only way of measuring added value. If women are taki…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates15/02/24 01:16 AM
2

I empathize with you trying to get out of the stereotypes and the limitations you feel are imposed on you. Know that everyone feels variations of this— men AND women. We face different difficulties based on how people expect us to behave, but the comments that you’re getting here are that people on both sides of the aisle who have experience both with passionate redpill ideology and passionate anti-redpill ideology don’t feel that they’ve been perceived in the same way. Men are often told that t…
/r/ExRedPill14/02/24 07:49 PM
6

Do you mind explaining a little more about that? I’m curious as to what happened within that sequence of events that made you think differently.
/r/ExRedPill13/02/24 10:16 PM
3

See my other comment or u/tullia’s comment. We can only access part of the article, but long story short, if you poll ~400 people in one age group and location, and include your variable’s opposite (fantasies being defined to include ‘only aversive fantasies’ or the opposite of how people tend to define ‘fantasy’), it’s not going to prove any particular point about the population very well. I don’t necessarily blame the people who conducted the study per se. It’s not a great study, but it’s not …
/r/ExRedPill12/02/24 07:40 PM
46

Yeah as a woman I’ve never heard of this either. This is weird as fuck. She’s looking for any drama she can find.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/02/24 08:18 AM
2

Since the study’s methods, sampling, conclusions, and generalizability all seem to be suspect from the abstract that’s visible on the site, I think it’s really valid to ask follow up questions.
/r/ExRedPill12/02/24 06:53 AM
16

Beautifully put. I’m glad that you laid out the study’s limitations so clearly, because it’s really a weak study for how many times I’ve seen it referenced.
/r/ExRedPill12/02/24 01:07 AM
7

I can’t access the full text, so I’d be interested to know how they operationalized “rape fantasy.” The article summary does say that the study analyzed a few hundred undergraduate students, presumably in one place, and that they’re including people for whom the “fantasy” was entirely aversive rather than erotic in the slightest. That’s a hell of a leap to “most women have rape fantasies” or sexual submission, which I don’t see mentioned. This study, at least in the brief glimpse of it I get, se…
/r/ExRedPill12/02/24 12:36 AM
4

There are misandrists who call themselves feminists out there just like there are egalitarians who call themselves feminists. The people who approach feminism as an intersectional, informed goal of TRUE equality don’t erase the misandrists, but the misandrists don’t erase the presence of the opposite either. I advocate for men BECAUSE I’m a feminist, not in spite of it, and I know many women who feel the same way.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/02/24 03:37 PM
0

I agree. I’ll preface this by saying that I’m a woman and I know this space isn’t about me— I’m usually here to listen and learn, but I’m on this subreddit because I’m passionate about men’s issues just like I’m passionate about women’s issues. I’m here to learn to advocate for you guys more effectively, but it feels like this has become a space that’s less focused on positively supporting men and that’s more openly hostile to women. I want to bridge the gap and get men’s perspectives on what’s …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/02/24 11:32 PM
2

Most women don’t go out selecting for dick size in their partners. I’ve never known anyone in person or online who’s listed that in their top five criteria for a guy, so individual women may prefer larger or smaller, but it’s certainly not a criteria for “social correctness.” The majority doesn’t care to that extent, and is certainly not “getting bored and finding new partners” because of penis size of all things. People have been posting studies on this thread— it’s definitely not just Reddit c…
/r/ExRedPill08/02/24 08:10 PM
1

I think that’s sometimes how people communicate it, sure. As a woman on the internet though, I know I also see the black and white, all or nothing takes on “you’ve slept with people so you’re worthless/used up/entirely useless as a person.” It’s the huge intersection of redpill with standard misogyny and its objectification of women that creates that thought pathway: women are only good for sex —> nonvirgin women are less valuable sex partners —> they have no other “value” and are worthless past…
/r/ExRedPill08/02/24 08:06 PM
7

Some women actively prefer smaller or average dicks because it feels better for them. For many people, bigger ones are super uncomfortable and painful. If your explanation for something includes huge populations lying for something that would have absolutely no social effect on them, it’s probably wrong. I’m a woman. I talk to other women. There’s absolutely zero pressure in those conversations to like big penises. I don’t even know how that would be framed. So when a woman says to another woman…
/r/ExRedPill08/02/24 01:36 AM
5

Exactly. I think the revelation that many women are very lonely too is one that’s crucial to dismantling some of the other red pill assumptions. There are different pieces to loneliness. There’s the piece that is not feeling wanted or desired, but a huge amount of loneliness is the lack of meaningful connection, validation, support, someone’s interest in you as a person, etc. Some of the “men are the only ones who can be lonely” thing is focus on a small portion of the first part, I think. Lust …
/r/ExRedPill07/02/24 08:40 AM
1

Thanks! I appreciate you saying that. I hope so too.
/r/ExRedPill07/02/24 08:17 AM
1

Beautifully phrased
/r/ExRedPill07/02/24 08:15 AM
10

It’s definitely not that simple. Everyone has insecurities, and people’s mindsets, mental health, environments, and emotional context have a huge effect on their confidence. Yes, their looks and the way that people view them also matter, but it’s not like you can track their confidence numerically with their facial symmetry, compliment/insult quotient, and boob size. People are confident and insecure for tons of reasons, often in combination. Confidence, just like all human stuff, is complicated…
/r/ExRedPill07/02/24 08:12 AM
3

You’re welcome 🙂 have a great rest of your day. Reach out if you ever need to talk this through again.
/r/ExRedPill06/02/24 10:38 PM
4

Absolutely. Everyone is a combination of millions of stereotypes and exceptions to them, and everyone is a hero in their own story. By that I mean that we’re all presented with a messy, unique, often painful human experience, and we all make the best of it in our messy, unique ways. You’re worthy of love and you’ll find someone who’s perfect for you. Everyone is flawed, including people in happy relationships. I think it is worth going to therapy or trying to concertedly work things out for your…
/r/ExRedPill06/02/24 07:07 PM
11

You value. That’s my point. Some people treat it like the sole qualifying factor, when no one actually considers it to be the only important trait. I appreciate your opinion as well. I’m not arguing that you yourself value chastity, I’m just trying to keep an eye to the ‘all or nothing’ opinions that have had a dehumanizing effect in being generalized to universal concepts of worth.
/r/ExRedPill06/02/24 06:27 PM
9

I read your other comments and I do appreciate the lack of a double standard. I think there is a certain amount of objectivity that can be brought to the discussion, honestly. Value is calculated by the benefits brought to a situation, and women bring far more than looks and virginity, just like men bring far more than money and protection. Women DO have inherent value not related to their looks, and while I understand certain things being dealbreakers for you, I personally believe that this is …
/r/ExRedPill06/02/24 06:20 PM
20

You’re kind of proving the larger point, in an interesting way. Your values are conservative, so you personally value women less when we’ve slept with more people. That doesn’t mean, however, that there’s a universal rule. Women are 100% not “less valuable” because they slept with people. There’s no objective human scale of value, and people with different ethical priorities value people for very different things.
/r/ExRedPill06/02/24 06:14 PM
9

She’s an absolutely terrible person. I’m sorry you had to go through that, and I truly understand how something that awful has lingered and affected the way that you’ve dealt with things so far. That was inexcusable, and I’m truly shocked that she found that many friends to agree with her. She was abusive and disrespectful and you deserve better. Therapy may help, if you’re willing to consider it. Trauma teaches us to defend ourselves in case that thing happens again, even if it’s a trauma that’…
/r/ExRedPill06/02/24 05:28 PM
9

I’m not rare at all, I promise you. Dude there are SO many cool women out there. Even independently of being with someone romantically, I’m genuinely excited for you to get to know women who break every expectation you may have. Women are out there who have fascinating interests, hobbies, skills, perspectives, passions, whatever. Yes, there are gold digging women out there, just like there are sleazy guys. HOWEVER, there’s absolutely no basis to judge all women by the examples that are so extrem…
/r/ExRedPill06/02/24 04:39 PM
13

I’m really glad that you’re working on these, and I’m sorry you’re under the burden of all of this. It has to be heavy to carry that much fear and resentment. Do you have women in your life that you can spend some time with and/or have open conversations with about this stuff? Because it would help to get out of the manosphere context and interact with people in real life. I'm giving you a long one, because I'm passionate about this one and want you to have any perspective that will help— Women …
/r/ExRedPill06/02/24 02:58 PM
5

But the point is that you would have to be told, because you wouldn’t be able to tell from her qualities as a person. Many people have slept with lots of others, but that doesn’t define them as a person. I’ve met a wonderful, honest, generous, kind, thoughtful, moral person who was forced into prostitution from her teenage years, and I’ve met people who were absolutely horrible, dishonest, judgmental people but were strictly religious and saving sex for marriage. Sex doesn’t inherently change a …
/r/ExRedPill23/01/24 03:43 AM
4

No one rule can declare what’s best for everyone, though. That’s the point of feminism. Some women don’t want kids. Some women are extremely talented at a career and want to devote their lives to that. Some men want to be stay at home dads. Some people are gay or don’t want to end up in a marriage at all. Some women may LOVE the idea of being a housewife, but will want their safety assured if their husband dies, gets disabled, or if they have to get divorced, and may want the ability to have an …
/r/ExRedPill22/01/24 04:41 AM
3

Respond genuinely to the rest of my comment and then I’ll answer that question.
/r/ExRedPill22/01/24 04:15 AM
4

As I mentioned, it depends on what type of marriage people are seeking and valuing. There are definitely men in the manosphere who feel disenfranchised by a marriage in which equal power is the goal. Feminists are definitely reaching into homes to dismantle abusive and unequal marriages, sure. Those men tend to have a problem with that if they previously wanted a wife who serves as an unwilling servant, housekeeper, childbearer, or punching bag for them. For some people, that’s what marriage mea…
/r/ExRedPill22/01/24 12:59 AM
6

How has marriage been ruined when there are still millions of healthy marriages? Feminism is all about healthy and happy relationships. No feminist is going to ban you from getting married or shame you for being in a good relationship. Feminism isn’t out to “ruin” anything, unless you’re talking about one sided or abusive partnerships that prevent either person from having healthy choices.
/r/ExRedPill21/01/24 06:39 PM
7

That’s the red pill community though. They’re motivated to keep you seeing only the good in certain areas and only the bad in others. Do some research outside of the red pill community. Respect and care born out of fear and oppression aren’t real respect or care. Women were regularly forced to marry someone at a young age and told that she would get disowned or would go to hell or destroy her own family and reputation if she deviated from her husband’s side. Respect for men and the family isn’t …
/r/ExRedPill21/01/24 04:50 PM
11

Because the single study doesn’t even prove what people have pretended it has. I would link it, but I can’t find it. It’s a poorly designed study that people have taken wildly out of context since.
/r/ExRedPill21/01/24 04:45 PM
11

And there are tons of people in stable relationships with lots of children who don’t marry someone from abroad. Aim for a stable relationship, not the ability to fit someone in such a small box that you eliminate all possible instabilities.
/r/ExRedPill21/01/24 04:45 PM
15

From your comments, I think therapy could be helpful. I’m not calling you crazy or using that in a derogatory way, I promise. I see you terrified of cheating to the point that you’re making irrational leaps here. “Modern women” aren’t a monolith. We’re all different, and we’re all looking for different things, JUST LIKE women from abroad, who may also be benevolent, cruel, career-driven, driven to be a stay at home parent, faithful, unfaithful, or anything else. Red pill is selling you these uni…
/r/ExRedPill21/01/24 04:42 PM
14

Patriarchy creates abusive relationships with awful imbalances of power. In the ‘olden days,’ many women literally killed their abusive partners because it was the only way to get away from them. The rest of the time, women were freely raped, abused, murdered, and disenfranchised, so that they couldn’t protect themselves or others. Which, by the way, meant that children were also often abused, raped, or murdered without recourse. Relationships weren’t more stable before the patriarchy was questi…
/r/ExRedPill21/01/24 04:27 PM
11

There’s one single study that people tend to cite, in my experience. It basically said that women with only one partner are less likely to divorce, which makes sense because of religious marriages where people are conditioned to both be virgins until marriage AND stay in a marriage no matter what, but everywhere else, there’s really no correlation. It’s junk science, and women are far more complicated than that.
/r/ExRedPill21/01/24 04:16 PM
9

Have I heard of women and men ‘testing’ their partners in real life? Maybe once or twice. But most women consider it just as insecure and odd to test your partner as men do. Preparing for “shittests” would be like preparing for a product you buy being randomly empty when you buy it. I bought a mascara once that was just never filled— it was an empty tube. It was a weird scenario that I had to deal with once, but I’m certainly not going to start taking a kitchen scale with me to CVS to check ever…
/r/ExRedPill16/01/24 03:02 PM
45

This post is great, and you’re clearly coming to this with clarity on your own goals and needs right now, which is so helpful. It’s not a stupid post at all— it seems to be marking a really good place for your mindset. I will say one thing— Know that in addition to the competition mindset, one of the weaknesses in red pill ideology is that all-or-nothing thinking. Life doesn’t function on an easy 1-10 scale, and most people will be far far happier choosing for compatibility and personality than …
/r/ExRedPill03/01/24 04:14 PM
7

It’s about a healthy, balanced kind of self-improvement. Redpill oversimplifies a lot of very complex issues and can end up pigeonholing, excluding, discriminating against, or misinterpreting people and ideas. The fact is— Women don’t all act the same, men are deserving of and able to receive love even if they don’t fit in a specific box, and there’s no one, magical, universal philosophy to summarize all of existence. Truth isn’t that simple, and people can improve themselves genuinely while not…
/r/ExRedPill22/12/23 03:07 AM
19

Even acting like a coldly economic viewpoint is beneficial to use to consider humanity, the “high value/low value” thing is an economic monstrosity. If you considered your raw materials to have only one use, you’d be a pauper as soon as the properties of the material surprised you. Red pill ideology is the equivalent of having a huge amount of fabric (or something) that you’re considering for only a single use. The fabric is too thin to use for outdoor furniture? That’s it. Throw it away. What k…
/r/ExRedPill13/12/23 02:03 AM
-4

I fight against misandry and for men’s rights BECAUSE I’m a feminist, dude. I’m saying that it’s not true because I know from experience.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/12/23 01:57 AM
56

The feminism circle needs to be moved to overlap FAR less of the misandry sphere. There’s commonality that needs to be called out, but to act like feminism is almost 100% mutually exclusive from men’s rights and almost completely categorized as misandry is definitely false.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/11/23 03:35 AM
6

There’s one case where I see what they’re talking about, but it’s not one that works in their favor. It’s not “hoeflation,” which clearly blames the woman in that scenario and paints a picture of a dumb, slutty woman who’s too stupid to know a good man when she sees one. That’s the picture I assume they’re painting, which is garden variety sexism at its most boringly repetitive. The change is that women aren’t legally, financially, and socially forced against their will to depend on a husband wi…
/r/ExRedPill28/11/23 11:11 PM
1

In a study of heterosexual encounters, only 50 to 70 percent of women reported having orgasms compared to 95 percent of men. Research shows that 30 percent of women report pain during vaginal sex, 72 percent report pain during anal sex, and "large proportions" don't tell their partners when sex hurts. I still did my wifely duties, but tried to avoid the situation more often than not. It was uncomfortable, messy, sometimes painful and humiliating...I’d heard all my life about the drudgery of mari…
/r/ExRedPill25/11/23 05:05 AM
10

It’s not an objective fact though. It’s a broad and somewhat arbitrary over generalization. Miners have nothing to do with imposing order. Is it a worthwhile, helpful, important job? Absolutely. They do dangerous, necessary work and they deserve to be compensated and commended. But “order” wouldn’t list in the first twenty words people would use to describe that job. Meanwhile, most administrators, personal assistants, personal organizers, and cleaners are women. Most jobs are essential. That’s …
/r/ExRedPill25/11/23 01:31 AM
2

Women aren’t a monolith. We don’t all have the same experiences. That’s the whole point. I will never in my life meet any of the people whose posts you’re referring to, so I can promise you that they don’t represent me or the other women I know on any kind of universal basis. We’re all different and have different lives, just like I can’t assume that all dudes dressed up as Popeye for Halloween every year when they were kids even if my dad and his friend both did. Let’s start there. Women also d…
/r/ExRedPill21/11/23 12:22 AM
6

There’s a ton of data about the exact opposite— that “good sex” to women means sex without pain more often than it means sex where they get what they want. The fact is, individual experiences vary a TON, and you can’t generalize a person’s experience just by knowing their gender or anatomy. You’re posting a lot of things that are based on sexist assumptions, and not listening to people who are giving their impressions and experience. You don’t know how women or other men experience the world, an…
/r/ExRedPill20/11/23 11:03 PM
1

In reply to both this comment and the other, I think that the askfeminists subreddit would be informative for you. I’m not going to say that any movement is perfect, but we don’t hate men. The paragraphs I typed on the previous comment are not at all rare for those subreddits. I would love to have a conversation about the commonalities between feminism and left wing male advocacy, because done right, most goals are common ones. We’re all protesting the gender roles that, for instance, force men …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/11/23 08:10 AM
3

And what other benefits are you referring to?
/r/ExRedPill06/11/23 06:15 AM
1

Absolutely. I’m aware of the examples in India and know that a lot of the classic feminist literature, for example, was written in problematic ways that exclude men, trans people, other races, and other classes. Feminism is problematic in some corners like any movement, but to act like it stands for zero responsibility for women is absurd. I’m sure you can find singular exceptions, but mainstream feminist goals will lead to scores of new responsibilities for women. Let’s not use singular extremi…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/10/23 07:20 AM
0

Jesus Christ. Feminism doesn’t involve abdicating responsibility for women. I’m a feminist because of and despite the fact that it will end with FAR MORE responsibility for me. I’m literally arguing for a world where I not only have to keep my house clean and running smoothly, but work for the income to sustain it. Where I actively advocate to dates to go 50/50 instead of them paying. Where I examine my own biases and the limits of gender roles to make sure that I know how to change a tire, carr…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/10/23 01:13 AM
7

Every philosophy has elements of truth in order to appeal to people it tries to convert. I didn’t say that you couldn’t find a single true thing in red pill, because that’s as extreme as saying that every single word is true. HOWEVER, red pill IS using half truths, inflammatory assumptions, generalizations, and stereotypes to cobble together an appealing justification for individual misfortune.
/r/ExRedPill16/10/23 04:57 AM
0

Not at all. Both sides are going to use a bunch of inflammatory takes that are reblogged, reposted, or mentioned BECAUSE they’re extreme, solely in order to make you think that the other side is completely insane and unreasonable. Actual humans are having millions of conversations daily about reasonable middle grounds.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/10/23 04:49 AM
8

It wouldn’t make it any more sensible or logical.
/r/ExRedPill16/10/23 03:37 AM
0

But a lot of the woke approach is acknowledging that people already ARE treated differently and advocating for equal opportunity. It’s like the awareness of gender discrimination that this page is working for. That’s not saying that some people don’t take it way too far, but there’s a huge middle ground between “the only real racism is violent hate” and “people who want to restart segregation to virtue signal.”
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/10/23 01:39 AM
1

Feminists literally show LESS hostility towards men than non-feminists. We don't hate men. Equality and equity regardless of gender benefit EVERYONE, and address things like custody imbalances, the lack of mental health resources, the lack of parenting resources for fathers, etc. I want the best for men too, and I wouldn't be a feminist if it were about destroying men or reversing the bullshit power trip that's been subjugating women and hurting men for so long. The FAQ for the feminism subreddi…
/r/ExRedPill10/10/23 01:55 AM
1

I mean, what are you expecting someone to do about it? I mean that as an honest question, because feminists disavow those people, deplatform them, put out little “why we’re not as bad as you apparently think we are/why we don’t agree with this extremist point of view” literature, advocate for societal and policy changes that we DO believe in, and try to live values-consistent lives. What any one feminist is doing is ultimately dependent on the individual. Some do very little. Some devote their l…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/10/23 07:21 PM
3

Many gender roles are constructed based on societal need, based on a majority of people in that gender, based on consolidation of power, whatever. Norms can form naturally, sure, but there are ALWAYS outliers: There have always been women disguising themselves to join the army, men who are more caring/attentive/gentle parents than their partners, women who are gifted in traditionally male fields, etc. A society with harsh, prescriptivist gender roles would tell those outliers that they’re wrong …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/10/23 07:15 PM
2

You’re basing your assessment on feminist characters in video games? Critique feminism, sure, but at least do so based on actual feminists. R/askfeminists or r/feminism are good places to read perspectives of feminists being honest about what they actually think. Feminists are for gender equality even when it benefits men or hurts women. I’m not trying to “no true Scotsman”- there are obviously people who are extreme, antagonistic, misandristic, etc who call themselves feminists, but I’ve found …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/10/23 10:45 PM
-5

You should go on a feminist page and listen to what feminists are ACTUALLY saying. I promise you, feminists aren’t looking for some redpill concept of a ‘superior’ alpha male while chanting that women are better than men. You’re seeing contradictions because you’re taking three different ideologies and patching them together as if the same individual, crazily cognitively dissonant woman is saying all three. Feminists want people to be free of restrictive gender roles, and for everyone to have eq…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/10/23 07:30 AM
5

I’m glad that you’re getting back on track. Growth and change like this is so hard and important, and it’s no small feat.
/r/ExRedPill23/09/23 05:40 PM
9

Yeah I mean, submissiveness isn’t a trading card, and women aren’t commodities either for public consumption or private ownership. We’re people, and sometimes relationships are healthy and good for us, and sometimes they’re not. That’s a gross one.
/r/ExRedPill21/09/23 10:36 PM
1

Where have you ever heard that? Is that a red pill thing?
/r/ExRedPill21/09/23 10:32 PM
6

As a person viewing the movement from the outside, I’m absolutely willing to view it with an open mind, because I know that people identify with one label and not another for very personal, deep reasons. People may be able to explain very well why incel does not apply to them while rp does. I think that the movements have become associated though, partially because of the creation of rules and philosophies that overlap. Both need to answer for that. I’ve seen a lot of the “women all behave this …
/r/ExRedPill21/09/23 06:58 PM
8

Honestly, it’s also hard for women who are born attractive. I knew one person who withdrew and expressed to others how hard it was for her emotionally because of the kind of attention she was getting. People didn’t want to know her for her, men were constantly hitting on her and leering at her, she learned that multiple of her friends were only around because they wanted her sexually, etc. She had a lot of advantages in some ways, but she had it REALLY hard in others. She has a social media now …
/r/ExRedPill08/08/23 05:00 PM
1

I think people acknowledge the progress all the time, which is why the history of a society and movement is so important, but an endpoint isn’t easily definable either. Feminism is a lens just as much as it’s a goal. Thousands of laws per country are written based on a biased perspective, so feminism will look like continuing to make sure that these laws are evaluated and that future laws are written to apply to all citizens. Feminism looks like making sure that crash test dummies also model fem…
/r/ExRedPill23/07/23 11:41 PM
1

I mean, I’m not an anthropologist. I know that some Native American, East Asian, and African cultures have been matriarchal, but in recent memory or general knowledge, I can’t. That’s not a “gotcha” though, because we’re clearly making progress because we value equity and put work in to achieve it. Western society is better at gender equality than almost anybody out there, but that doesn’t mean that it’s even close to perfect.
/r/ExRedPill21/07/23 06:30 PM
3

Absolutely. I think what’s helped (not the only thing, but what helped in our case) is making friends with people first, and letting partnership find you. He and I were friends for years, so when we fell for each other we already knew what each other wanted, needed, and prioritized. I knew that he was safe (that’s one thing that’s super important) and had seen him with previous partners, so I knew that he treats people well. He and I have a ton of fun together, he’s a great guy, we want the same…
/r/ExRedPill19/07/23 01:13 AM
13

As a woman, absolutely not, unless that’s an arrangement that you both agreed on previously. Like if you’re the sole provider for your wife who’s on maternity leave with triplets, refusing to pay for things is a crappy move. However, part of the gender norms changing these days is that couples are expected to be partners. I split everything with my partner 50/50, pretty much down to the cent. Most or all of my friends do it the same way. I’ve been on first dates where the guy said “my policy is …
/r/ExRedPill18/07/23 09:51 PM
4

How many female US presidents have there been? How many countries worldwide prohibit men from having bank accounts? How many laws about women have been crafted with zero or almost zero women in the room at the time? There are millions of metrics that make up the patriarchy and even more numbers to prove it, depending on what you’re looking for.
/r/ExRedPill18/07/23 09:21 PM
4

How so?
/r/ExRedPill28/06/23 05:38 AM
2

Have you ever looked up cognitive distortions? Trying to act like half of the population is generalizable in any real universal way is always going to be a thinking error. In asking my partner to talk about something, for instance, I'm usually trying to understand his perspective better so that I can understand how to adjust. When I ask him to pay or plan a date, it's only for my birthday as a gift, because I'm more naturally inclined to plan dates, and we split everything we buy together 50/50 …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 01:56 AM
3

Can you explain a little more about what you mean? Is it women sleeping around and having children that you object to?
/r/AntiFeminists11/01/23 11:52 PM
5

I mean, this IS a crime. It literally is. I don’t think any feminist would argue otherwise either. This is an outrage bait article from the daily mail, so I’d say that you seem to be barking up the wrong tree. These headlines are designed to either be skewed, false, misleading, or hugely partisan, and definitely shouldn’t be taken as an indication of anyone’s philosophy in particular.
/r/AntiFeminists06/01/23 09:48 PM
1

Cishet isn’t a slur or an insult though. It’s simply a descriptor.
/r/AntiFeminists04/01/23 09:44 PM
2

A lot of women are reluctant to shave because of razor burn, discomfort, the time it takes, the way it makes them feel, etc. It's definitely not just to spite men. It's not super comfortable to maintain, so it makes sense.
/r/AntiFeminists04/01/23 09:09 PM
2

To be fair, plenty of people are saying that violence isn’t acceptable to anyone. There's a comment that's currently third or fourth highest voted, and it says exactly that, as do the replies. Others say that feminism doesn’t entail being okay with women hitting men, and those comments are all upvoted. There’s plenty to critique here, but it’s not like that thread is currently preaching women punching out any man with no accountability.
/r/AntiFeminists04/01/23 08:44 PM
-15

I think it’s always been very clear that incels have very poor mental health. The problem is the approach they take to coping and the way that women end up being blamed and even threatened for their struggles. Incels are the epitome of why men need to be able to develop healthy coping mechanisms without shame from those around them, and why emotional intelligence needs to be addressed universally. Men often don’t have enough genuine connections either, so the lack of a partner becomes even more …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/12/22 04:25 PM
1

Speaking as someone who professionally assesses for mental illness in clients… why?
/r/AntiFeminists04/12/22 08:04 PM
7

Do you not believe that a man would call for an open conversation in this way? He’s right. Divisive approaches divide, and we all know that this thread sometimes has a tendency to demonize rather than critiquing.
/r/AntiFeminists04/12/22 07:26 PM
1

This is the biggest generalization that I’ve ever seen. Criticizing a movement for its issues is one thing, but acting like everything that came before feminism is great while everything after feminism is awful ignores a HUGE portion of society and really makes you an unreliable source for the state of things.
/r/AntiFeminists04/12/22 07:09 PM
2

I will say, I know tons of housewives who are feminists and tons of feminists who want to be housewives. It’s not mutually exclusive at all. But you’re right that the OOP never states her ideology. We have no idea why she’s feeling this way or what she’s doing to cause/rectify this.
/r/AntiFeminists04/12/22 07:05 PM
1

Wait… where are feminists saying that?
/r/AntiFeminists11/11/22 05:46 PM
1

This is super informative, thank you.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates05/11/22 08:13 PM
3

I think this is a really interesting consideration. You’re right that people feel too afraid of labels to break away from the stream when they find something that they disagree with in the party line. People seek community though, so I don’t think we’re ever going to get away from identification with the label. I wonder if we can achieve some of the same things with an expanded consideration of each label from within and without. People who don’t identify with the feminist label, for instance, o…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/11/22 05:49 PM
-3

How so?
/r/MensRights06/10/22 10:07 PM
1

What the Fuck
/r/MensRights06/10/22 10:06 PM
1

This is disgusting. I feel like it’s ringing in my ears.
/r/AntiFeminists28/09/22 07:23 PM
5

SIXTY DAYS????
/r/AntiFeminists04/08/22 04:51 AM
-1

I appreciate the information. This is all worth saving and reviewing in depth. I had heard of some of these, but definitely not all of them, and I agree with you wholeheartedly. I’m NOT the true feminist, and I apologize if my comment made it seem like I believe I can singlehandedly wipe out all wrongdoing from the title. I’m well aware of the No True Scotsman concept, and I try to stay conscious of it, though I know that my personal approach as a random person on the internet doesn’t define fem…
/r/AntiFeminists22/07/22 09:18 PM
0

What do you mean? This is a common discussion that I’ve had and the ideas are ALWAYS taken well. I’m trying to have an open conversation on all sides, because our opinions aren’t as different as we’ve ever been lead to believe. I get valuable things from this page, but some representations are flat out wrong.
/r/AntiFeminists22/07/22 08:49 PM
-3

I’m a feminist and I would throw her in jail in a heartbeat. That’s my point. I’ve worked professionally with male and female victims of abuse and assault for years now and all of my coworkers who are feminists would take the same stance. Sexual assault is sexual assault. Period. If she didn’t get thrown in jail, feminism hasn’t succeeded at its goals. Misandry masquerading as feminism and patriarchal “men can’t be assaulted/he must have wanted it” societal norms have succeeded. You’re right tha…
/r/AntiFeminists22/07/22 06:38 PM
-8

This isn’t feminism. This is just a gross idiot thinking that she has the right to other peoples’ bodies.
/r/AntiFeminists22/07/22 06:01 PM
0

I promise you that absolutely no one here is talking about your sex life. It’s the “men can’t cry”/“only women and children on the lifeboats” shit that’s gotta be addressed.
/r/AntiFeminists21/07/22 12:12 PM
-3

No. It definitely hasn’t. Misandry and anti-men sentiment needs to be urgently and passionately called out, but many feminists do. On the Ask Women subreddit, some of the most popular posts about feminism call out the abuses against men. This is a post about the ‘’must believes” of feminism. The first answer is about equality. The second is calling out an abuse against a man. This one is a conversation on the difference between misandry and feminism, and as far as I’ve seen, none of the comments…
/r/AntiFeminists02/07/22 03:51 PM
-11

None of this comment makes any sense. Also, anti feminism can cross too quickly into anti-woman. You can truly think of no other reasons that women might spend more (like, maybe, women handling household purchases if they’re the sahp) or benefits to divorce (like helping people of whatever gender escape abuse) than this? You took a post about a strike and brought it to a “women are maliciously getting divorced to destroy men and divorce is one of the worst things to exist” in no time flat. This …
/r/AntiFeminists02/07/22 06:11 AM
-1

As contradictory as it seems, I get what they’re saying. The statement “no uterus, no opinion” is- if you don’t have a female reproductive system, it’s not about you. For decades, men have made decisions on abortion as if it was about them personally, with no consultation of anyone who would have to bear the children. When opinions from women have been offered, until very recently, the opinions were largely ignored. Women are trying to tackle an issue that’s killing people, and everyone’s making…
/r/AntiFeminists28/06/22 01:41 AM
-1

I mean… not wanting to be treated as an object in those praises is pretty straightforward. I understand what you’re going for, but many of the “compliments” women get are things like “wow! I didn’t expect you to be able to lift that! Good job, little lady!” or “I’m not even into thick girls, but I couldn’t stop staring at your tits in that dress” which are both paraphrasing things I’ve heard men say. Tell me that those wouldn’t sound condescending as hell if someone said those to you. I think yo…
/r/AntiFeminists16/06/22 10:27 PM
3

But people in this thread have very validly pointed out that most of the original comment is NOT factual. Women and men are definitely blamed for their own rape— a fairly frequent occurrence for anyone listening to the overarching conversation. The “what else do women have to offer” comment is definitely not framed as a logical argument, but as a pretty limited and inflammatory suggestion. Women shouldn’t expect men to pay on dates, but even that is a false equivalency to the original conversati…
/r/AntiFeminists16/06/22 10:16 PM
1

I mean I think the message is “women are still held back in society but do tons to overcome it, without their efforts always being recognized.” It’s easy to win an argument that you play both sides of.
/r/AntiFeminists09/05/22 03:15 AM
1

Have you ever heard of the availability heuristic? Wikipedia defines it as “ a mental shortcut that relies on immediate examples that come to a given person's mind when evaluating a specific topic, concept, method or decision. The availability heuristic operates on the notion that if something can be recalled, it must be important, or at least more important than alternative solutions which are not readily recalled.” Social media and the 24 hour news cycle favor the extremes. Someone being reaso…
/r/AntiFeminists05/05/22 07:01 PM
0

It’s not an uncommon attitude, dude. Almost EVERYONE in my life identifies as a feminist, and they would all answer questions like I would. Feminists are all over. I, for example, would agree that circumcision is awful and unnecessary, and custody should be decided by who is better able to care for the child/a better influence for the child and nothing else. Alimony is needed in the case of a spouse (either spouse) having little or no way to make money due in part to the financial arrangement du…
/r/AntiFeminists04/05/22 11:18 PM
1

I wonder how many people on that thread would say they’re feminists
/r/AntiFeminists02/05/22 03:39 PM
2

That’s all fucking insane. I’m a feminist and I disagree with literally all of that, as would everyone I know. You’re definitely finding extremists on those threads, which can indicate that those aren’t the generally held beliefs of the millions who call themselves feminists. Extremists in any movement are going to be against the norms and outside of the movement’s core belief. Circumcision is pointless and cruel, no one should be calling each other names in a movement to lift people up, man-hat…
/r/AntiFeminists02/05/22 03:32 PM
1

I’m a feminist and I would say exactly what I would for every couple— it needs to be split fairly, based on whatever the two people decide is fair. I like the gesture of paying for your partner sometimes if that’s a way that you express affection, but no one needs to be extorted for a date. My partner and I still split almost everything 50/50 and we’ve been together for years. If anything, I tend to treat him to a meal more often than he ends up paying for me.
/r/AntiFeminists02/05/22 02:52 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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